#but I’m happy for making myself explore the genre
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I Put a Spell on You
Melissa Schemmenti x fem!reader
Genre: fluff (crack if you squint)
Word Count: 2.8k
A/N: This is the first part in a little series that explores the mug from 'Delicate'. I really wanted to share some little ideas I had about the images that would be on it so stay tuned for some more parts bc I'm already writing them :)
Feedback is very much appreciated!
When the topic of Halloween costumes came up in conversation in the teachers’ lounge during a crisp morning at the beginning of October, you couldn’t help but join in with tales of your own previous looks. The good, the bad, and the ugly are all shared amongst the group when Jacob brings up his outfit from the year prior; one half of a matching Mario and Luigi costume with Zac.
“You know, I’ve never actually done a couples costume,” you say to nobody in particular, thinking out loud as you stir sugar into your coffee in an effort to make it a little less bland. The conversation stops immediately, and every head turns to look at where you lean with your back against the counter, cradling your steaming mug.
“Wait, what?!” Janine exclaims, her wide eyes only adding to her outrage. “Never? In your entire life?”
“I guess, yeah,” you shrug, clearly uncomfortable with the attention. If you had known that every pair of eyes would be focused on your quickly reddening cheeks, you would never have opened your mouth. “I’ve just never been with anyone who was interested in that sort of stuff.”
The silence in the room is tense. The fact that this group is so shocked at your little revelation is worrying to say the least but at least it shows they care, albeit about the wrong things.
“Have you at least done a group costume with your friends?” Asks Jacob, his expression of concern and disbelief matching Janine’s comically wide eyes. You pause for a moment, looking up at a stain on the ceiling in a bid to avoid all eye contact as you recall various high school and college parties. Not once can you remember organizing a group costume.
“Uhhh, nope. I’ve never done it,” you say, feeling brave enough to look back down and at the table directly in front of you. Barbara has turned in her seat to join the conversation, watching the two sides of the room like a tennis match. She’s clearly not as bothered as the rest of the room but happy to be involved, nonetheless. Your gaze shifts to Melissa who is looking over the rim of her cat-eye glasses at you, eyebrows furrowed, and lips pursed slightly in thought. The intensity of her stare makes you feel more uneasy than the rest of the room combined. You shuffle your feet and pull your eyes away from hers when Janine chirps up again.
“I actually can’t believe it. I thought you would have been really into all that.”
“Who says I’m not,” you shoot back. “I just didn’t have anybody that was willing to make themselves look like an idiot with me.”
All through college you would have killed to enter a party, no matter how shitty the frat house venue was, with the Barbie to your Ken or the Buzz to your Woody on your arm. The memories of entering parties with your friends in ‘sexy cat’ costumes, trailing at the back dressed in a bright white Padme Amidala getup makes you chuckle.
“Actually, the parties kinda remind me of that scene from Mean Girls, you know?” Most of the group chuckles along and nods in recognition, with only Barbara looking slightly confused. “I guess it was just never meant to be.”
You push yourself off the counter and move toward the closest table. Pulling a chair out next to Barbara, you can’t help but feel a certain redhead’s gaze boring into the side of your head.
“I say we change that,” she remarks, her first addition to the entire discussion. “I’ve already got my costume, and it’s pretty hot if I do say so myself, but we can easily make it a couples thing for ya.”
Barb turns to you, shockingly overjoyed at the idea. Considering she didn’t get involved with Halloween, her enthusiasm at the prospect is unmatched.
“Now wouldn’t that be lovely?” She gasps, looking between the two of you with an almost knowing glint in her eye. You think for a moment, looking over to meet green eyes and seeing them scrunched slightly as she smirks back at you, knowing that having Barbara on her side ultimately means you lose.
“That’s really nice of you Mel, but we’re not a couple. I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable with whatever talk will happen from certain people,” you almost whisper, trying to keep prying eyes of your co-workers that crane their necks to look over her shoulder from hearing. One sharp look over her shoulder has them quickly backing down, instantly focusing their attention on the suddenly interesting paperwork that sits in front of each of them. Satisfied, Melissa continues.
“Hun, you really think that bothers me?” She says with a raised eyebrow, leaning forward onto the table, the grading she was doing completely forgotten about. “Please, I’ve had much worse said about me. Besides, having you by my side will only make my costume look better.”
She punctuates her last statement with another wink and you feel your cheeks heat again, turning a violent shade of red.
In the last year you’ve spent at Abbott you’ve grown to learn a lot about Melissa’s ‘persuasive’ personality and admittedly had fallen head over heels for her. Who wouldn’t? You’re pretty sure Barbara has caught on to your lovesick puppy act, thankfully leaving the topic alone in conversation. Instead, you get knowing glances from the older woman anytime she catches you and Melissa giggling like school children over a joke in the hallways, or when the redhead makes your coffee just how you like it in the mornings, leaving the steaming brew waiting in front of your seat for your arrival.
You mull her proposition over, staring into your cooling mug of coffee that sits between your hands on the table. She leans back in her chair, arms folded, and eyebrow raised again as she stares you down. She knows she’s won.
“Okay, why not?” You sigh, looking up again to meet her gaze. She grins and claps, the laugh lines around her eyes accentuating the wideness of her smile. If you had known agreeing would have made her this happy, there would have been absolutely no hesitation. Seeing her pearly white smile is the highlight of most days for you, the sight instantly improving any bad days you may have. This is no exception.
In hindsight you probably should have discussed the details of your costume before blindly agreeing to Melissa’s proposal, but there’s no way you could ever turn her down. This idea doesn’t come to you until the morning of Halloween however, as you stand in the hallway outside your classroom trying to psych yourself up for a day pretending to be Melissa Schemmenti’s other half.
“Mel, I look like an idiot,” you grumble. “How do you get to dress like that, and I’ve ended up looking like Elmo and Kermit the Frog had an illegitimate child?”
“No no no, you look great, hun,” she reassures you. The way her lips are slightly pursed in a desperate bid to bite back the giggle that’s threatening to escape says otherwise.
You, on the other hand, are less than impressed at her terrible poker face. Of all the times for her to lose her hard exterior, it had to be now. As much as you want to be mad at her for omitting the extremely-green-lycra part of your Vision to her Wanda costume, her visible excitement and rosy cheeks immediately put a stop to any negativity.
“I’m serious,” she continues, “besides you don’t look anywhere near as bad as Janine right now. That girl is wearing whole-ass beard.”
You raise your eyebrows as if to say ‘really?’, not quite believing her frantic excuses.
“Don’t give me that look. It looks as if she’s rolled around on the floor of a barber shop.”
You huff through your nose, arms crossing over your chest. You can’t help but look her up and down as she tries her best to reassure you that this look was the best decision for today. There’s no denying that she looks incredible in her Scarlet Witch getup, the tight outfit accentuating her irresistible curves and stunning figure. You don’t think you’ve ever seen her in such a form fitting piece and you really hope this isn’t the last time. You’re so obviously checking her out, but you hope your furrowed brow makes it look as though you’re just deep in frustrated thought.
Meanwhile, you’re clad in bright green lycra and sickly yellow basketball shorts, all topped off with a matching cape and some alarmingly bright red face-paint. Your hair is tucked inside the hood of the outfit, and you desperately hope that this aids you in going unnoticed and unrecognised, though deep down you know that the assaulting colours will do little to disguise you and give you away as soon as the day begins. There is absolutely no hope of camouflaging in the full halls of Abbott when you look like a walking Crayola pack.
As you begin to retreat into yourself, the annoyance quickly turning into embarrassment at the situation, Melissa reaches out to touch your arm that is still crossed over your torso.
“Hey, I’m telling you we look incredible right now. I can guarantee you nobody else will have made this amount of effort with their costume,” you know she’s trying her best to reassure you but you’re past the point of no return. You’re one mean sunburn joke away from taking a dish sponge to your face and changing into something a lot less… weird.
As you open your mouth to dismiss Melissa’s words, she silences you by reaching out her other hand to flatten the tie of your cape that sits around your neck. Her gloved hand feels impossibly warm through the fabric and you’re sure she’s moved closer to you, the toes of your bright white sneakers almost touching those of her crimson heels. She looks up through her eyelashes at you once she’s satisfied with her work, her hand staying in place and flattening against your sternum. This is the only time you’ll be glad for the paint slathered across your delicate features because you’re sure you’ve turned the exact same shade of red underneath.
Melissa’s proximity to you is intoxicating. You can almost see every faint freckle that is covered by her makeup, her winged eyeliner impossibly sharp even this close. You’re trapped in this position, but you have no desire to move, desperately hoping she’ll push you back the few steps to trap you against the cold brick wall. You’re positive you’re imagining her eyes flickering from your own down to your scarlet lips, but the sight can’t help but make you imagine what she would look like with her own red lipstick smudged past the edges of her full, inviting lips.
The clicking of heels against the tiled floor snaps you out of the moment and she jumps back, putting a good foot of space between you as you both try to recollect yourselves. Ava rounds the corner adorned in a flashy silver getup, her cape billowing behind her as she struts toward you. Her eyes squint when she sees the two of you and her mouth drops slightly as she realises just who is stood next to the Scarlet Witch.
“Wandavision, wuh-wandavision,” she sings as she nears you. “Goddamn girl, you look less like Vision and more like ‘blind’”
“Ava,” you groan over her cackle, “I can already feel my students ripping into me for the next 7 hours, i don’t need you getting involved as well.”
“All I’m saying is you look like Mr. Clean had a bad accident with some ketchup,” another cackle follows as she carries on her way down the hallway, not even giving you chance to process the insult as the sound of her walking away grows faint. You turn slowly to Melissa, not wanting to see her expression of pity. When your eyes meet, all you can see is an impossible softness that rarely comes out in the redhead.
“I genuinely think you look incredible right now, hun,” she says, her hand reaching out to touch your farm once again. Her thumb begins to rub where it lays, the friction burning an abnormal amount through the layers of fabric that separate your skin. You scoff at her statement, not quite believing that in her world the sunburnt equivalent of Howie Mandel is ‘incredible’. Before you can say a word, she continues. “Nobody has ever been willing to do this for me. You dropped everything to join in and I absolutely love you for it.” Her grin widens as she sees your walls visibly come down at her words, knowing she’s got under your skin and won yet again.
You can’t help but lose yourself in her eyes at her confession, noticing the smile lines that surround them deepening with her increasing happiness. You would give anything to see those lines deepen like this every single day, especially if it means that you were the cause of it and her good mood.
A gasp from behind you pulls you away from losing yourself too deeply, both of you snapping your heads to look at the interruption. In front of you stands none other than Barabara Howard dressed as... a bumble bee? Almost as if sensing your confusion at the letters attached to her torso, she jumps in with, “I’m a spelling bee, before you can ask,” you raise your eyebrows and let out a small 'ohhh' before she continues. “And I have no need to ask who you two are, you little marvel cuties! You both look absolutely incredible!”
You don’t miss the way that Melissa squeezes your arm slightly from where it still sits, resting against your bicep, saying a silent ‘I told you so’.
“You have to let me take a picture of you so I can show Gerald before the students get here,” she pleads. You’re about to decline the request until you look down to where Melissa stands next to you, only to see her grin impossibly wider than before, practically bouncing with excitement. The sight makes your heart melt in your chest and demolishes any notion of hesitance you had about this costume. Her happiness and enthusiasm are reason enough for all this to be worth it, even if your face will be stained by the bright red makeup for days to come.
“Alright then, let’s do this,” you sigh, moving away slightly to get into position while Barb pulls her phone out of her own costume, lifting it up to prepare for the barrage of images she is about to assault you with.
You both stand facing the camera, Melissa with her hands reaching out, almost as if she’s casting a spell. You take the opposite approach, widening your stance and placing your hands on your hips. Your head is lifted, standing tall and proud to the side of the redhead as you both pose.
You hear the camera shutter closing each time Barb jabs at her screen with her forefinger, Melissa changing poses slightly with every noise. You can’t help but grin yourself as you look down at her, her excitement for the holiday no doubt going above and beyond that of the literal children you teach.
Her head turns toward you as the photoshoot continues, catching your loving gaze toward her. She softens her own gaze and smiles back at you as the shutter goes off one last time and you hear a “alright, I think that should be enough pictures” from the eldest woman of your group. The statement causes you to tear your eyes away from Melissa’s and clear your throat, the both of you forgetting the company you had for a brief moment.
“Uh, yeah, I think so too,” you stutter, caught off guard by the way the irresistible redhead matched your captivated expression. “I think I’m gonna shoot off to get ready for the day – that classroom won’t tidy itself.” Your eyes flit between the two older women as you speak, both of them nodding along and agreeing to do the same with the last few free minutes of the morning before madness inevitably ensues.
“I’ll see you at recess later hun,’ Mel calls as you turn and wave, making your way down the hallway toward your classroom. “Have a great day!” You can’t help but grin again, feeling as though it hasn’t fallen off your face for the last ten minutes that you’ve spent in the redhead’s company. Your step undeniably has a little more pep than it did earlier, that’s for sure.
#melissa schemmenti#melissa schemmenti x reader#abbott elementary#melissa schemmenti x you#melissa schemmenti fanfic#melissa schemmenti fic#melissa schemmenti imagine#abbot elementary fanfic#fluff#melissa schemennti fluff#wlw#self insert#writing#reader fic#reader fanfic#melissa schemmenti x y/n#lisa ann walter
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This week’s writer spotlight feature is: @stevesbipanic! They have fourteen works under the Stranger Things tag and thirteen of those works are under the Steve Harrington/Eddie Munson tag over on Archive of our Own!!
Our anonymous nominator recommends the following of their works by stevesbipanic:
Stevie's Time Loop
Home For Christmas
Remember Me
The Clothes That Make Us
Boy for All Seasons
She's an amazing writer that's able to make you feel connected to the characters, especially Steve. She's able to make me both cry and laugh in the same fic which is a feat to do well. She's also an amazing friend. Stevie's Time Loop is one of my favourite as it's a really unique way of writing a timeloop with large time jumps and most loops focusing on Steve and his trauma rather than finding a solution. - anonymous
Below the cut, @stevesbipanic answered some questions about their writing process and some of their recommended work!
Why do you write Steddie?
Steddie was the first ship that ever drove me to write fanfiction. I think the fact that I see myself a lot in both of them, especially Steve makes them so enjoyable to write for me. I think they’re also such moldable characters that you can write them into a lot of different stories quite easily and I love exploring their personalities and dynamics.
What’s your favorite trope to READ?
Soulmate AUs because I’m a sucker for true love.
What’s your favorite trope to WRITE?
Angst with a happy ending, I love making both these boys and my readers cry but also want them to be happy and in love in the end.
What’s your favorite Steddie fic?
This is such a hard question, there are so many talented writers and amazing fics, but if I had to choose one I’d have to say “The One in Which a Time Loop is Fucking Exhausting” by badpancake, it was one of the first time loop fics I read and really inspired my own time loop fic.
Is there a trope you’re excited to explore in a future work but haven’t yet?
I’d love to explore a fantasy AU in the future, I know many talented authors writing dragon!eddie and King Steve or knight and bard steddie and it is one of my favourite genres of fics that are outside of Hawkins.
What is your writing process like?
A mess, most of my works on Tumblr are spur of the moment ideas that will come to me and I immediately need to write them down. It’s actually the longer slower projects that are hardest for me since they require a lot more planning and editing, I really admire the authors consistently putting out those big fics.
Do you have any writing quirks?
I’d say my most noticeable one is how I write dialogue, I really don’t like writing steve said eddie said etc etc. I usually write each thing said on it’s own line and it’s clear who’s speaking by what they say or how they say it, I think it breaks up the story nicely too since you feel you’re seeing the conversation rather than reading it.
Do you prefer posting when you’ve finished writing or on a schedule?
As soon as I finish writing I want people to see it, I kinda hate sometimes when I’m doing a project and have to wait for a specific time to post but the anticipation can be fun too.
Which fic are you most proud of?
Honestly, I’m most proud of my latest fic “Home for Christmas” it was the first time I’d ever participated in a bang and the project felt huge, it felt like a big achievement getting it all out in the end and it’s the longest fic I’ve ever written as a bonus.
How did you get the idea for Remember Me?
I think I’d been reading a fic where Steve got a concussion and had a bit of temporary memory loss and I just thought what if all those concussions had long lasting effects on Steve’s brain when he grew older. I’ve also experienced a love one going through long term memory loss and how hard it is to watch that.
When writing Stevie's Time Loop, what was something you didn’t expect?
I didn’t expect it to become a whole fic! It started off as one little off hand drabble I wrote that alluded to a lot of loops surrounding the scene of Steve and Robin discussing how Robin had a bad feeling about this and just thought well what if this is like time loop deja vu.
What inspired The Clothes That Make Us?
Exploring why Steve dresses how he does and how he likes the things he does and how there’s an emotional reason behind some of the fans favourite outfits was something I wanted to explore more and this was my very first fic I wrote for ao3 so it was a bit daunting but also very exciting.
What was your favorite part to write from Boy for All Seasons?
My favourite part was definitely thinking of all the silly costumes Eddie would come up with as well as flirty Steve is so fun to write.
How do/did you feel writing The Clothes That Make Us?
I felt nervous since it was the first fic I ever wrote but excited since I felt really proud writing something that long and the feedback I got was so heartwarming.
What was the most difficult part of writing Remember Me?
Omg just getting to the end without crying so hard, after I posted it so many people messaged me about how they cried through it, just know I was writing that through tears too!
Do you have a favorite scene and/or line from any of your fics?
"Thank you for giving me a life worth remembering.” in “Remember Me” makes me want to cry everytime and really shows what we want for our favourite characters is to have a happy life however long they get.
Do you have any upcoming projects or fics you’d like to share/promote?
I’ll be posting my fic in the upcoming Reverse Bang in March which is exciting and I’ve got a secret project coming up later this year that people can follow @steddielycrying.
Outside of these questions, Is there anything YOU would like to add?
I’d just like to thank everyone who’s supported me through writing, whether it be a random comment on a fic or my lovely mutuals that get me through hard days, this has been an amazing fandom to be apart of and I can’t wait to write more!
Thank you to our author, @stevesbipanic , and our nominator! See more of @stevesbipanic's works featured on our page throughout the day!
Writer’s Spotlight is every Wednesday! Want to nominate an author? You can nominate them here!
#steddie fic recs#steddie#steve harrington#eddie munson#steve x eddie#stranger things#writer's spotlight#writer's wednesday
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Pain, Suffering, and Narratives in Some Asian Dramas/BLs (An Utterly Un-Scholastic, Highly Personal Big Meta)
I’ve been meditating on the topic of pain and suffering in dramas over the last few weeks, as conversations across Tumblr have been taking place regarding the success (or not) of the Our Skyy 2 x Bad Buddy x A Tale of Thousand Stars episodes. I can’t help but connect these thoughts to some of the fabulous older shows I’ve been watching in my Old GMMTV Challenge watchlist project, where I’m catching up on older Thai BLs in order to better understand the fabulous works that we’re seeing airing now. This Big Meta in part comes out of my having just watched He’s Coming To Me and Dark Blue Kiss, but I was also very deeply inspired by a Japanese BL that many of us here have fallen in love with, Our Dining Table, that features a poignant moment recognizing that feeling pain is a necessity in feeling love for another person -- that accepting pain and suffering is a part of the life we decide to live, from an Asian cultural perspective.
I’m using some big generalities here, so let me explain where I’m coming from. During certain large portions of my life, I’ve explored either becoming a Buddhist, or at least practiced Buddhism, particularly Zen Buddhism. While the world of Western capitalism has unfortunately taken up the majority of my current time/life, I do still have a desire to learn more about the history of Buddhism and try to incorporate some kind of practice in my daily life.
The reason why I offer that caveat is that a core of teaching in at least the spaces of Buddhism that I’ve been privy to, is the recognition of pain and suffering in one’s life. Suffering is a core tenet of Buddhism, one of the Four Noble Truths, and one that a human being does good deeds or makes merit in light of (as we see quite often in our beloved BLs) in order to receive “good” karma for a happy existence in this life or the next. (Again, mad generalizations here, but you get the point.)
I’ve been thinking about this because I often wonder if us Western viewers (I count myself as one, as an Asian-American) are too demanding for linear, clean, direct, and/or happy communication, narratives, and endings, particularly in the realm of Asian BLs, in regards to either romantic love and/or love from one’s nuclear parents/family. I think about this very much in the context of the Asian BL genre, where queerness -- as accepted, OR NOT, in Asian societies, friend groups, and families -- may indicate an existence that is not necessarily a happy one.
There are other issues by way of demands from fans that often determine the outcome of a BL script, such as shipper demands for overtly sexual content. What I’m proposing here is that, in my opinion, some of the best dramas/BLs from Asia are rooted in a reflection and acceptance of the tenets of suffering as a natural part of Asian life and, subsequently, Asian art. I further propose that because of that acceptance of suffering, that we — Western viewers — are often left potentially feeling unsatisfied or unfulfilled by a particular ending of a drama. I posit that the linear/binary/clear outcomes that Western audiences so often demand are limiting in comparison to the non-binary, non-linear journeys and conclusions of art that Asian filmmakers can reach in their work, vis à vis à general cultural understanding that pain and suffering are a part of daily life.
Before I give a drama example, let me use one from real life, that is so very often reflected in art: filial piety. I wrote about filial piety quite a bit in my reviews of Double Savage, a non-BL from Thailand that focused on the plight of a discarded son who was judged by his father as a jinx.
When I try to explain to Western friends that Asian parental love is very often conditional (I myself have experienced it, and my experiences mirror those of my friends), I experience a lot of denial.
“There is NO WAY your parents don’t love you.”
“There is NO WAY your parents will ever give up on you. Even if they treat you badly, they love you.”
“In the West, we ALWAYS end up loving our children. That’s what society demands of PARENTS. We’re CONDITIONED to be like that.”
A major cultural competency issue that Western therapists face with Asian clients is when Western therapists say to Asian clients who are having family issues, “why don’t you just talk to your parents about what you’re feeling?” Talking to Asian parents about a child’s feelings, in MANY instances, is not realistic. The language of that kind of emotion may not even exist. AND, there are unspoken social boundaries AGAINST children having those conversations with their parents in the first place. To have those conversations would very well ROCK the foundation on which Asian families are structured.
My parents may love me — the dad in Double Savage mayyyy have loved his son? — but an Asian parent like that, so rooted in their JUDGEMENT AGAINST an offspring, will often not budge. Time and time again, my Asian friends and family will talk about how they felt unloved as a child -- especially if their skin was darker, if their siblings were more successful in school, if they were a middle child, etc. VERY often, our Asian parents don’t know what us children do by way of work -- my parents don’t know anything about my work, for instance.
The Western perspective and social demands for a STYLE of loving one’s children in a very particular, involved, and empathic way -- those cultural expectations don’t necessarily exist in Asia. So we see parents like, say, Non’s father in Dark Blue Kiss; or Korn’s father in Double Savage; or ESPECIALLY Uea’s mom in Bed Friend, a fantastic example of an Asian parent who takes PERSONALLY every aspect of her son’s social and sexual “differences,” blames him for those differences, and accuses him of ruining HER life vis à vis how he was born to be the way that he is.
And yet, at least for Korn and Uea -- we see those children, for the majority of their dramas, continuing to devote themselves to their parents. Because filial piety -- the Asian cultural and social demand for RESPECTING one’s parents above all else -- is existent and EXPECTED of almost EVERY living Asian, no matter where you live on the continent or your various diasporas.
The equation is: even if you suffer at the hands of your parents, even if you don’t receive unconditional love and empathy from your parents, you must sacrifice in order to respect and serve your parents. You can imagine how much therapy even one individual would need to process that -- if that individual even ALLOWED themselves to think about what was happening, which oftentimes doesn’t even happen.
I’m not saying that filial piety EQUALS suffering. What I’m saying is that the practice of filial piety will almost always ASSUME a level of suffering that one must undertake to participate in the practice of honoring one’s parents.
Where I felt this *assumption* most strongly and recently was in my viewings of three Aof Noppharnach shows: He’s Coming To Me, Dark Blue Kiss, and Our Skyy 2 x Bad Buddy x A Tale of Thousand Stars, but I think Double Savage and Bed Friend also fall into this category as well. Very quickly:
1) HCTM was rooted in storytelling around the practice of Thai-Chinese Buddhism. Thun’s suffering was apparent: he was fatherless, he was gay, and could see ghosts. AS WELL, Med’s suffering was that he didn’t know how he had died, and why he was being held in purgatory before moving on to his next life.
2) Dark Blue Kiss was rooted in internalized homophobia. My big review of DBK is coming next week, but quickly, between the two main couples (PeteKao and SunMork), you had internalized homophobia playing various roles of emotional INTERPLAY, that AFFECTED the external emotional demonstrations of the character -- particularly in Pete, who was viscerally working on becoming a calmer person, but was triggered by Kao’s internalized homophobia to not be open about their relationship, and Pete’s jealousy subsumed him. DBK is the only show I’m mentioning here that has a clean happy ending for all couples involved, but more on that in a second.
3) OS2 x BBS x ATOTS, on the Pat and Pran side, was rooted in a clear but indirect conflict between Pat and Pran about openness and independence. If Pat and Pran had been open about their relationship (à la Pete and Kao) -- would Pat have needed to sound tough to his engineering friends that Pran *depended* on Pat to close loops? And on the Tian and Phupha side -- there is plenty we don’t know about Phupha’s past to make judgements, but I think it’s safe to say that he grew up in such a rural environment in Thailand as to make him assume that coming out and meeting his partner’s parents was an non-reality for the majority of their relationship, until the end of the OS2 series. The journey to get to the point of the ring was a tough one, particularly for Tian, who wanted more openness.
4) Both Double Savage and Bed Friend seem to end happily, especially for Uea and King in Bed Friend. But: Uea loses his parent. Yes -- he NEEDED to lose his mom, because of how toxic she was. But from an Asian family structure perspective -- he only has his sister by the end of that traumatic journey, which is not necessarily an IDEAL or complete ending. The bonds among Korn, Win, and Rung are permanently affected by the behavior of Korn and Win’s dad in Double Savage. The ending is a copacetic one -- they have survived, and will learn to survive together, after all the trauma they have lived through. But it’s not necessarily a HAPPY one. Both of these endings do not necessarily reflect the holistic ideal of the Asian family structure.
I emphasize all of this because, as I said earlier: I think a Western demand to CLOSE LOOPS in Asian dramas is unrealistic.
In Asian life (big generalization, but let me roll with it): you are angry at your parents, and you process it internally, very often without any help, and after a couple days, things go back to the way they were. The children do not demand change from their parents.
In OS2 x BBS, what I DIDN’T SEE -- and, from this framework, what I argue that I DIDN’T *NEED* TO SEE -- were any clarifying conversations between Pat and Pran about how either of them would CHANGE for their relationship. The biggest confession we got was Pat telling Pran, “without you, there is no me,” and Pran quietly agreeing (thank you to @lurkingteapot and @dimplesandfierceeyes for the incredible post on the improved translation of “I can’t live without you”).
But throughout the episodes, we saw their existence together, and arguably, their conditions -- how each of them has organized himself to comport to the other’s immediate needs. How Pran’s larger burden of keeping in the closet to keep his nuclear family structure stable kept them from being totally out, and how Pran designed fibs to be able to have at least one public demonstration of love between him and Pat on stage. They know they cannot solve intergenerational trauma in the span of a series. They’re still closeted two years later. And throughout all of this: how Pat digests Pran’s needs, and keeps his (Pat’s) own needs for openness at bay. We know he feels pain, too, when he makes his confession to Pran in Pha Pun Dao. We know he’s watching Pran as Pran hesitates to put on the bruise cream.
I feel that Pat’s acceptance of this existence is both heart-rending and utterly beautiful from the perspective of seeing Aof’s work as *Asian* art. I feel like, as an Asian, that I KNOW, that PAT KNOWS, what Pran has to lose. Pran has A LOT to lose. And so, Pat -- instead of demanding for outing and openness -- will hold what Pran needs him to hold. He knows when Pran is grumpy, and needs to be grumpy. And Pran’s got a lot to deal with. He’s got so much that he’ll need to go to Singapore, likely to get separation from his mother -- and that will result in him and Pat being separated (and I’m intentionally not analyzing Pran’s need for space from Pat here, but I think we can safely argue that, too, as Pat’s helpful attitude may smother Pran at times) (and there’s also the issue of the nuclear pain that Pat himself may feel at losing trust in his father for his father’s past foibles).
After the OS2 episodes, I didn’t need to know THE REASONS, the stark REASONING for why Pran needed to go to Singapore -- because, indirectly, it was already very clear to me that these young men were already holding tremendous burdens. Singapore, for Pran AND for Pat, could have ultimately been a motivator for growth. But I don’t need to know this. All I know is that they continue to have various levels of pain that they will be dealing with in their nascent adult lives.
While Dark Blue Kiss ULTIMATELY had happy endings -- how it got there was PAINFUL. Kao was ROOTED in fear that he would upend his family’s stability, while being the breadwinner. He was held back by extremely traditional role expectations of an older son. And he had no communication with his mother about straying from those roles. Pete’s dad served as the first -- and, I’d argue, maybe BL’s first -- paradigm-breaker as a parent, being SO open about his son’s queerness as to encourage healthy sex practices. But what I argue in this thesis is that up until the very last, bitter end, Kao was relegated to ASSUME that he would live in pain. His expectation was that Pete would ride with him. Pete couldn’t take it anymore and bubbled over. And Kao was forced to make a decision, for Pete’s sake, literally, to BE open, and to save the relationship. That shit ain’t easy.
Lots of folks who have read my posts on this site know that I appreciate a good Asian drama rooted in family and/or community trauma, like 10 Years Ticket. It’s the way in which Asian filmmakers depict this trauma that speaks very much to my life, my culture, and my viewpoint on what’s realistic in this world, and how that reality can be depicted in art. What I’ve found in watching Asian dramas is... I don’t always want clean endings. I don’t always want loops closed.
Sometimes, Asian kids can’t talk to their parents (Pran, Kao). If you grow up like that, you don’t immediately learn the language of intimacy for your family members, your friends, your lovers (Pran’s struggles after BBS/ep5, Thun’s coming out and not knowing the words for it). It might be EASY, or culturally UNQUESTIONABLE, to not argue with your parents about the ways in which they engage with their children (Korn, Win, Pran). Sometimes, to make a break in order to survive, you need to leave a toxic family member behind, which is NOT an ideal scenario (Uea).
Sometimes, you lose the love of your life (Ueda-san in Our Dining Table). Sometimes, you fall in love with someone — and you find that you can’t *exist* without them (Pat to Pran). And you have to live with the pain. I might even posit that the risk of that pain makes the love you have, either for the person living or the person passed, that much more meaningful to you.
I watch Asian dramas because I don’t feel like Asian filmmakers are subject to the Western demand to clean up all emotionally questionable loose ends. This is not When Harry Met Sally. Harry and Sally should have only remained friends, and not gotten married -- even Nora Ephron and Rob Reiner knew that -- but they also realized that Western audiences would not accept such an ending.
“The script initially ended with Harry and Sally remaining friends and not pursuing a romantic relationship because she felt that was "the true ending", as did Reiner. Eventually, Ephron and Reiner realized that it would be a more appropriate ending for them to marry, though they admit that this was generally not a realistic outcome.”
If I don’t get clean clarity in Asian dramas, I’m okay with it. My mind switches to the pain POV, that relativity mindset. Everyday life in Asian cultures can handle the weight of the painful and sufferable unknown. And that’s why I love these shows.
And, OF COURSE, not ALL Asian dramas are like this! Cherry Magic ended wonderfully. Old Fashion Cupcake ended beautifully. KinnPorsche ended sexily, if not a little confusedly (are they related? kinda? or not? whatever?). Minato’s Laundromat ended happily -- although we’ll see their relationship pain points in the upcoming second season. And we see relationship pain points in the ongoing drama of Shiro and Kenji’s relationship in What Did You Eat Yesterday -- all while they share their happy nightly meals together at their kitchen table.
Life is complicated. I posit that Asian dramas, for my taste, satisfaction, and cultural relativity, do a much better job at depicting that complicatedness than the West can ever do, and that’s why I stand so often on my soapbox to encourage Western viewers to understand these Asian cultural touchpoints more -- to learn about how we’ve accepted pain and suffering as an automatic given in our Asian lives, from our cultures, our spiritual practices, and from living amongst each other.
#our skyy 2 x bad buddy x a tale of thousand stars#bad buddy#a tale of thousand stars#our skyy 2 x bbs x atots#he's coming to me#dark blue kiss#bed friend#double savage#pat x pran#pran x pat#patpran#pranpat#pete x kao#kao x pete#petekao#our dining table#minoru x yutaka#yutaka x minoru#pain and suffering in asian culture#suffering in buddhism#the four noble truths#pain and suffering in asian dramas#pain and suffering in asian BLs
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I’m kinda at a weird faze in my creative life right now, I want to write something, but I’m still hung up on the skills of writing not the art of it. I tried to condition myself into writing just for the fun of it yet I’m always left wondering if there a better way to get my point across. Maybe that’s because for my age…I should be writing better.
My question is, how do I just write just for the fun of it, and how do I increase my vocabulary? I’ve heard people say to use the dictionary, but that really eats up time and most words people never use in an actual conversation. Anyway that’s my question.
Thanks for asking! Here are a few tips:
Freewriting
Balancing the desire for improvement with the enjoyment of the craft itself can be a challenge for some writers. Different things work for different writers, but an exercise I like to do is freewriting. Freewriting is a technique where you write continuously for a set period of time without worrying about grammar, structure, or content. It can help to bypass your inner critic and tap into your creativity. Set a timer for 10-15 minutes and write whatever comes to mind, without stopping to edit or revise or even come up with a comprehensible plot. Make it nonsensical. Just write.
Experimentation
Try experimenting with different styles and genres. Don't feel confined to one particular type of writing. Trying out different writing styles and drawing inspiration from other writers can help you discover what you truly enjoy and where your strengths lie. Explore various forms of expression and writing to find what resonates with you.
Draw Inspiration
Something I like to do when I'm reading books or fanfics, and highly recommend if you're trying to increase your vocabulary and improve your writing, is take note of descriptive phrases or words that I like for future reference in my own writing or as inspiration. Or I'll write down words that I don't know so I can come back and check their definitions—I keep a list of those, too.
Integration
Once you've collected a list of words and phrases you like or don't know, challenge yourself to incorporate them into your own writing. Experiment with using these words in various contexts—prose, dialogue, poetry, different situations—to deepen your understanding and comfort level with them.
Remember, writing is a journey, and there's no one "right" way to do it. These suggestions could be effective for you, or you might find another method that suits you even better. Embrace the process and keep honing your craft at your own pace. Happy writing!
#ask#writeblr#writing#writing tips#writing advice#writing help#writing resources#creative writing#writer inspiration#writer problems#writer stuff#writing problems
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Oh my god I absolutely adore your ceramic critters. Have you ever posted any kind of guide on your materials/tools/technique/process, or would you be willing to? I'm trying to explore artforms that exacerbate my chronic pain issues less, and your little guys are the first alternative media where considering "what if i did something in this genre" brought me genuine unadulterated delight.
aw i’m so happy you’ve found a medium up for consideration that you greatly enjoy!
the stuff i’ve posted about is rather scattered across social media- mainly stuff like how i do linework via slip trailing underglaze/underglaze pencil, common tools tour, how i make pipe forms etc.
i haven’t done any livestreams or the likes for quite a long time as i tend to keep to myself more nowadays and putting it off creates some further social media type stage fright of sorts.
overall i think it would be nice to dip my toes back into it one of these days sooner than later as i do enjoy the socializing/passing time while working and giving out some tips n tricks n sharing builds.
best wishes and always happy to answer any clay inquiries when i have time!
#ask#i myself don’t have chronic pain but i can also use this page to help get a conversation started#if be needed#for methods and tools other ceramicists use to accomadate their bodies
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Hello, I read your introduction. I heard that your Vietnamese are correct?
Can you do maybe like a brozone headcanon on how each brother individually would react to a Vietnamese troll or someone who speaks Vietnamese like a relationship? Sorry if you can't understand what I'm trying to explain, but if you know what I mean
Chào anh em là con gái miền Tây! Haha yes I am Vietnamese I would like to say that I hope in the future troll movie they would recognize V-pop (Vietnamese pop trolls) since there was a K-pop in the trolls movie world tour but I am just so curious to know what Vietnamese trolls would look like cause I would be a Vietnamese pop troll myself haha anyways yes of course I will make brozone headcanon on a Vietnamese troll speaker!
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A little background so Let’s just pretend: there is a tribe in the trolls village so far away that no trolls has ever heard of it not even Queen Barb or Queen Poppy has ever heard of them.
They are known as the V-pop trolls (Vietnamese pop trolls) but there’s not just pop Vietnamese trolls there’s also Vietnamese music genres that the trolls lived in V-pop village with the Viet pop trolls.. let me explain
You have the ca trù trolls: these trolls are also a Vietnamese genre of music their singing style is storytelling with origins in the northern part of the V-pop Village it mostly lead by a female trolls vocalist…
Then you have your Chầu văn trolls they are also in the northern part so they are close to the V-pop trolls village their style combined with singing, dancing and playing instruments with rhythm,pause and tempo.
There’s Vietnamese folk music trolls they fall under almost all of the genres that I mentioned
Then you have your cải Lương trolls: they are like a reformed theater trolls is a modern version of folk opera in V-pop village and they are spoken with drama and sometimes is so touching you would cry….
Again, all of these trolls genres all live under Viet pop village so they’re not separated from the other trolls genres there is more Vietnamese genres but I’ll explain more when I talk about brozone and meeting a Viet-pop troll.
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I’m gonna leave the relationship ship out for this part but I will definitely include it on the next headcanon that I write sorry about that I should have mentioned that first but it makes me so happy that someone is interested in my culture because I been embracing my Vietnamese culture a lot more ever since growing up in the US <3 and I say for all the culture don’t be scared to embrace your culture is a part of who you are and no one couldn’t take it away from you is apart of your heart your life style I think you guys reading about my trolls headcanon would hopefully let you all know a bit about my culture and I hope you all feel inspired to write your own trolls version of your culture Tag me if you do I would love to hear about other people traditions and culture <33
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John Dory:
-This dude has been traveling around the trolls village for the past 20+ years alone and when he came across a super isolated village he went to see what the village is about.
-when he came to the village he saw so many beautiful ancient decorations and he noticed that the trolls looked different from his own kind so John began to explore the village a bit further
-He also noticed what those trolls were wearing how some of them wore different outfits as he went farther into the village he saw how some trolls wore this long beautiful dress called a áo từ thân (it was a common dress in the north part of the Village) as he walked farther he also saw how some also wore a short version dress called a ao ba ba (which was common in the north) to remind you again all V-pop trolls and their differences Vietnamese genres all live in one village but there’s a different path way to get to a certain place in their village that what John Dory was doing
-As John headed back to where he came from he also noticed how some trolls wore modern Ao Dai it was so different than what he saw the other trolls wore when he was exploring the village
-As John came across to this folk soft like music playing as he saw this beautiful trolls wearing a modern áo dài playing a Vietnamese folk music with a instrument called “đàn tranh” Vietnames string zither he was so touch how she played it so softly he never heard anything like this before
-John came up to you and said Hi but he noticed that you don’t speak any English you understand some English but you couldn’t speak it very well
“I really like the instrument you played I never heard anything like this before.”
-You sat there and smile at him he insists that you keep playing that Dan tranh so you did and he immediately falls in love with the sound of it
-John will try his best to speak Vietnamese even if he doesn’t pronounce it right but at least he is trying and he won’t make it sound like he’s making fun of your accent or language
-He will try any Vietnamese food even if it sounds weird to him he doesn’t want to be rude even if it tastes bad he probably kindly declined it next time if anyone offered a dish that he doesn’t like
-he will definitely wear a male version of the modern ao dai he will never want to take it off and he would probably buy some for his little brother when he see them again especially bitty B who he misses dearly…
-Over the years you and John have help each other he helped you with English so you were comfortable with speaking it and you helped him with Vietnamese and teaching him about the culture and he so grateful that you offered him a place to stay and teach him about your culture
John: “Cam ơn Em (Thank You so much! [Y/N]) for taking care of me over the past year I’ve learned so much about your culture I will miss you and I hope I come back to visit you again soon!
Y/N: No,I should thank you anh John Dory you taught me English I will miss you a lot but please do come back soon anh! You gave him a hug before he leaves for his another adventure
-John will definitely bring some of your culture back to his brothers and pop village he would share what he learned and the instrument that you taught him how to played
-He will definitely cry when he leaves the village because seeing you and the others waving goodbye to him hoping that he will have a safe trip as he turn around he saw you in tears crying and waving goodbye to him hoping he’ll come back to visit you again one day he knows you’ll be there waiting for him to come back..
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That’s just the tips of the iceberg right that first part is when John Dory first came across the village moving on.
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This one for Bruce and clay is gonna be kinda similar in some ways where they came across a trolls like you when they hear you sing and played an instrument but I would like to say that clay would noticed how homesick you are and stuff anyways let’s get started shall we…
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Bruce/Spruce:
-After brozone broken up spruce had traveled around not like John Dory did but he was walking around to escape his life and never returned back to his boy band days he hear a very beautiful instrument playing..
-As he saw a beautiful female trolls who wore a Ao từ tuần who was playing a two string guitar known as the “Dan Nguyen” as spruce was interested so he sat down waiting for you to finish once you finish he would applause him being a heartthrob he would go up and start a conversation with you
Spruce: hey,Great guitar you got there I think you played such a wonderful job I never heard that kind of music because I’m Spruce what’s yours name I never heard any music like this before like ever I need to know more.
Y/N: Thank you! I’m [Y/N] and this guitar is called Dan Nguyen it been in my family for many generations my grandpa gave me this before he passed away his last wish for me is to play this and have everyone hear it is my grandpa way of showing other trolls our culture we lived in a very isolated part of the trolls village called V-pop. You smile sweetly at him
Spruce: I’m sorry yo hear that your grandpa passed away. (He dose not think twice or anything on how you ended up here all it matters that he really wants to know more about your culture)
-You agreed to helped him learn more about your culture and your music over time spruce change his name to Bruce because he wanted to leave his boy band days away and you were proud of him for doing that.
-He love every single Vietnamese foods that’s out there he will learn how to make Vietnamese food he will probably open a restaurant a Vietnamese restaurant some where on vacay island
-He learns how to speak Vietnamese pretty quickly every words he pronounced it was just on point if he ever step foot into the V-pop village they will mistaken him as one of their own kind because of how good his Vietnamese is also he could and will sing all kind of Vietnamese genres out there just to make you happy more like impressed you with his Vietnamese skills that he learn from you ☺️
-He will definitely bring some of the Vietnamese culture that you taught him back to his brother when he see them again
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Clay:
-After being cut off from the rest of the trolls during the bergens escape clay and other trolls were finding a place to stay as they were looking he heard something or more like some one playing a beautiful instrument.
-Clay was worried that the bergens will hear you as he came closer to you he saw you wearing a Vietnamese hat called “non la” and you were wearing a beautiful white plain Ao dai he mistken you for a ghost because of your outfit
-you also played the Dan Ty ba which was a traditional orchestra which made clay even want to come closer to you
-as he heard you sing Vietnamese folk music he really liked the sound of it he was worried that the bergens would hear you but it kinda sounded quiet when you sang it
-Clay got closer he introduced himself to you and you did the same
-Overtime you lived with the Putt-Putt trolls until you can safely make it back home or that what you hope but you became homesick over time you didn’t hate the putt putt trolls or anything but it was missing something that was apart of you your whole life
-Clay often noticed you feeling homesick and how you miss your family he would often see you cry or hold onto your “non la.” Also how often you would sit by yourself playing a sad note on your Dan Ty ba
-He would want to make sure you’re alright
Clay: hey, [Y/N] are you alright I’ve been noticing how upset you looked is something wrong is okay you can talk to me about anything?
Y/N: I’m just homesick, being away from my family and my village really takes a turn Vietnamese music and culture is apart of my life growing up I really like it here with you and Viva and the others but sometimes apart of me is missing
-As you got up and walked away crying clay felt very bad he knew he had to do something to make sure you feel safe as much as he wants you to go see your family again but he doesn’t want you to get eaten by a Bergens
-Clay would spend all his time despite being a licensed CPA he will spend his time reading and learning how to speak Vietnamese and more about your culture
-Like Bruce clay learned how to speak Vietnamese pretty quickly his pronunciation was perfect cause he spend all his time reading a book on how to speak Vietnamese for beginners
-He would also learn and also have the other putt putt trolls pitch in to cook/make the place feel like home to you
-It would take viva hours trying to get you out of the house as you finally agreed to as you came out you heard music not any music it was the music that reminded you of your home and your people you began to cry tears of joy and give clay a tight hug…
Y/N: Oh thank you thank you so much Clay you didn’t have to do all that for me but I really appreciate you all pitch in and took the time to learn my culture and my people my family would be so proud of me
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I cried when I was writing clay part because it deals with being homesick and I understand that feeling I live in the state when I go to Vietnam for a vacation when I had to go back I would spend the entire plane ride crying and brawling my eyes out so seeing a troll like clay who would go beyond the way to learn your culture makes me smile so much.
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Floyd:
-Traveling alone to start his solo career he came across to this soft and beautiful sound
-as he went closer to where the sound was he came across a ancient village known as V-pop village just like John did he noticed how each different trolls tribes wore different outfits
-But suddenly Floyd heard the instrument played again as he got closer he saw a beautiful girl played such soft instrument called “Dan bầu” is a Vietnamese string instrument but then it hit him when he heard you sing “Cải lương” Floyd never heard anything so soft and yet touching
-Being a sensitive troll that he is he can’t help but cry on how good it sound he may not understand what you’re saying but something about the rhythm just makes him cry for days because it was like a blend of Vietnamese folk song and classical music as-well
-Overtime, Floyd would learn Vietnamese his pronunciation wasn’t good but wasn’t as bad as John was but he try to sing cai luong and also learn how to play the Dan bầu but fail the others trolls made fun of him but you offered to helped him
-You gave Floyd a private lesson on how to play the instrument overtime he was getting pretty good and you were impressed with his skills
-Overtime his Vietnamese pronunciation got even better to the point he can finally sing cái lương you were impressed how much he has improved he thanked you a lot for helping him he couldn’t have learned that without your help
-Once he left the village he would take something special back with him which was a new skills and learning a new language all together thanks to you.
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Sorry if Floyd was short but I definitely could see him singing cái lương because he is the sensitive one and when you listen to it (Yep, it sounds super sad and emotional my parents always listen to this) and him being able to play a Vietnamese instrument it just makes it better
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Lastly, Branch:
-After saving all music kind from Queen barb with Queen poppy as all the music genres came together as one it only took him a second to see a different kind of trolls
-He saw you with your beautiful black hair and you were wearing a beautiful modern áo dài with your non la you were walking around shopping for fruits
-Branch would go to poppy and ask her if she seen any other troll like you before because something about you was different from the other trolls and their music
-One day he finally came up to you and introduced himself to you and you did the same he didn’t know how to start the conversation but you knew what he wanted to ask so you got straight to the point
Y/n: I’m a Vietnamese pop troll I know it seems crazy but we lived in a isolated place in trolls village we have different genres of Vietnamese music just like you guys but I’m a pop troll just like you guys but the only difference is that I sing in Vietnamese
-You would have to demonstrate to branch and sing Vietnamese pop music in Viet which he finally understood branch was so interested in learning the Viet pop style so he asked you if you could help him
-Branch started off not pronouncing any Vietnamese words correctly you didn’t mind because you know he didn’t mean at anyway to make fun of your language but still you helped him through it
-Overtime, his pronunciation gotten better and he was able to sing a whole Vietnamese pop song without messing up the words
-Branch learned so much from you and your tradition and he also hopes he can share this wonderful music and culture with his girlfriend Queen poppy and the others trolls in the village aswell his brothers if he ever sees them again
-Branch also adore the traditional outfit you put him in which is a modern male ao dai just like John he would ask you to make some for his brother aswell for Queen poppy which you happily agree to do
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Again, sorry if both branch and Floyd was short but I really enjoyed writing this and hopefully you guys learn a bit about Vietnamese culture I may be an American but being Vietnamese always and will be apart of who I am
Anyways, If you want me to do a part 2 I’ll do it maybe I can explain more about the food/fashion and the language barrier there’s so much to share to all of you in the trolls fandom about my Vietnamese culture and I hope you do the same with your culture I look forward to coming across to reading those 🩷✨
Also sorry for any grammar mistakes I’ll go fix it haha :^)
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If you want to request anything go to my profile and click “Ask me anything!”
Like + Follow are very much appreciated! ✨
#trolls band together#dreamworks trolls headcanon#trolls fanfic#floyd x reader#branch x reader#john dory x reader#bruce x reader#clay x reader#trolls fandom#trolls#dreamworks#brozone#fanfic#vietnamese#clay#Bruce#John Dory#branch#floyd#trolls branch#trolls floyd#trolls bruce#trolls clay#trolls movie#trolls john dory#trolls headcanons#Vietnames culture
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The Syndicate - Chapter 4: Becoming The Ashes
Pairings: Choi San X Female Reader, Park Seonghwa X Female Reader, Ateez X Female Reader
Summary: Y/N is a Detective with a promising future in the police department until she's kidnapped by the infamous mafia boss Choi San and from him, she learns the dark secrets her superior has been hiding the whole time so she teams up with him in order to put a stop to it.
Genre: Lots of angst, Romance, Crime Fiction, Psychological Drama
Word Count: 4.1k
Tags/Warnings: For Mature Audiences, Language, Graphic Violence, Mentions of Illegal activities (i.e Kidnapping, extortion, assassination etc.), y/n gets roughed up by Wooyoung like twice , Slow Burn, Fluff sometimes, Work In Progress, Non-Idol AU, Mafia AU, Very suggestive at times, y/n cries alot, y/n having inner turmoil, Ateez being bad boys, Wooyoung and Yeosang are a little mean in this story tbh, Guns, Gunshot wounds, Assassination attempt(s), mentions death and acts of violence
MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!!
Spotify Playlist🎵 | Series Masterlist📝
‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆. ✧˚₊‧⋆‧‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆. ✧˚₊‧⋆‧‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆. ✧˚₊‧⋆‧‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆.
After I finish helping Hongjoong it was already pretty late but San was still gone in his office. Unfortunately I'm so tired from the rollercoaster of emotions I felt today, that I walk to the guest room not even bothering to explore this whole building by myself without anyone’s watchful eye. So when I enter my room I take off my leather jacket and begin to get ready for bed. Then there was a small knock at the door and to my pleasant surprise it was San.
WIthout another second to waste I walk over to him and hug him, burying my face in his chest while he gently cradles the back of my head. “I missed you.” I say in a hushed tone then he chuckles a bit gently pulling back from me enough to be able to kiss the top of my head and look down to meet my eyes clearly being able to see his dimpled smile “You know you could have just gone into my office right?” I rest my head on his chest again listening to his calming heartbeat “I didn’t want to bother you, besides I’m sure everyone else would think it’s weird if I go in there a lot.” He lifts my chin to look up at him and gently kisses my forehead. “Well, you're very sweet trying to keep that in mind. It’s going to be hard not to make it obvious.” He buries his face in my neck and I feel his warm, breathing while I gently run my fingers through his soft black hair then I say in a soft voice “It’s okay Sannie, I'll wait.” He jerks his head back and looks at me with a huge smile on his face “You called me Sannie…” Slightly puzzled I nod “Oh, I’m sorry. Was that weird?” He rests his forehead on mine and gently caresses my cheeks with his thumb “No, I like it. It’s cute.” My heart, it’s racing again. A flush creeps up my cheeks and I look away then San slowly turns my face back in his direction and kisses me. He slithers his hand around my waist and pulls back just enough to talk. “Look at me, I love you. Don’t forget that.” My lips slightly part in shock. He what? Is he joking right now? “I-” I pause for a few seconds then sigh “Please don’t tell me you love me unless you mean it.” San furrows his brows and tucks a lock of my hair behind my ear “I do mean it, my heart is telling me. See?” He grabs my hand and puts it on his chest over where his heart is, I feel his heart racing now. I look back up at him slightly shocked. San smiles showing me his cute dimples again knowing full well it’s my weakness. “Now you know I wasn’t lying.” I know he’s already my boyfriend but what? I caused someone to feel that way? For once it wasn’t one sided and someone finally feels happy to see me. I thought he was joking, you can't just fake your heart racing for someone. Those feelings are something you just can't fake. San gently kisses my forehead “Hm, you should get ready for bed it’s pretty late.” I nod and gently poke his chest “You’re right, you kind of did interrupt my nightly routine.” He chuckles and ruffles my hair “Yeah, but I know you were secretly hoping I did.” I gently bite my lip stifling a laugh and playfully smack his arm.
When I'm done I notice San laying in bed. Now, I don’t know why but seeing him like this makes me kind of nervous. I know I've laid down lots of times with him but only as friends. So when I walk over to him and awkwardly sit next to him he glances over at me and furrows his brows “What’s wrong?” I shake my head and I force a smile “Nothing, I’m just not used to us you know?” He gives me a comforting smile and pulls me over to him so I’m laying next to him with my head on his chest “It’s okay don’t worry. I’ll stay here until you fall asleep.” I wrap my arms around his waist and stare off into the distance and a few moments later San begins to sing while gently running his fingers through my hair. The rest of the time we don't speak, we just lay there in each other's arms while his soothing lullabies leave my eyelids feeling heavy until eventually i give in and fall asleep.
In the morning when I wake up I notice San was gone, it almost feels like laying there with him was almost a dream. I sit up on my bed for a few minutes trying to fully wake up then I get up and change out of my sleepwear. When I walk down to the lounge and prepare myself a cup of coffee, I notice it was awfully silent. Hmm i haven’t seen anyone since I woke up, weird. I sit down and turn the TV on and while I was watching some random talk show a breaking news announcement comes on. A male news anchor was standing in front of what seemed like an alleyway “This is Peter Davis and I am now bringing you breaking news from Ulwood’s southside, It appears Detective y/n (Y/LN) has been found dead. She was found earlier this morning at around 7:45 am and so far the police have announced Aurora Syndicate as prime suspects for the detective's murder. As most of you all may recall the young female Detective went missing about a month and a half ago outside her home in Lulens a few minutes away from Ulwood.” My stomach drops, I quickly turn the TV off and I walk over to the sink feeling sick. I’m officially dead, there’s no going back now. It’s set in stone. The more I think about how that girl must have looked and felt like makes my body run cold and I feel physically sick to the point I puke up the little coffee I had. I hurriedly rinse my mouth with some water and sit back down on the lounge seat. I cover my face with my hands and quietly mutter to myself “My god, what have I done. An innocent woman died all because I was selfish enough not wanting to deal with the consequences.” I thought I was going to feel relived but I don't. At least not knowing someone else paid with their life, I took something from them that I had no right taking.
A few minutes later a distance I hear commotion down the hallway. I lift my head up and hurriedly grab the mug of coffee I had and pretend to drink what was left of it until I see San, Yunho, and Wooyoung come into the room laughing and smiling then I hear San say “Hey, y/n good morning you’re up early.” I fake a smile and give them a small wave with my free hand “Good morning.” Wooyoung coldly glances at me while San sits next to me and Yunho walks over to the refrigerator and pours himself some orange juice “Guess what y/n?” I look over to Yunho and manage to let out a small hum San then says “Well, they found “you”. You’re officially dead so they won’t look for you anymore.” I slightly raise my eyebrows and say in a flat tone “Wow, that happened fast.” San smiles “Well you’re top priority, we couldn’t afford to miss out on how valuable you are to us now.” Wooyoung sneers “San are you okay? Are you sick?” San looks over at him and tilts his head “I'm fine, why?” Wooyoung shrugs and says “I don’t know seeing you smile like that over a cop you barely even know is really weird.” San's gaze darkens almost like he's upset Wooyoung's ruined the mood with his snide comment. He walks over to Wooyoung “It’s actually not. Considering her and I are very close now. We need her help more than ever to get that bastard back for what he did to my father.” Wooyoung smirks and gently pats San’s back nervously trying to calm him down. “Okay calm down, I was just joking.” Unmoved with Wooyoung's "joke" San stares straight into Wooyoung's eyes "Do I look like I'm laughing?" Yunho looks over at San and Wooyoung then walks over between both of them and puts his arms around both of their necks “How about we celebrate later yeah?” San pulls back slightly shoving Wooyoung away from him "Not now, I'll be in my office if anyone needs me." He walks away silently leaving the kitchen clearly upset. Yunho awkwardly coughs and mutters under his breath “Maybe not.” He looks over to me “He’ll be okay, Wooyoung and San tend to bicker sometimes.” Wooyoung rolls his eyes and walks out of the lounge where he bumps into Seonghwa who was walking in, he quickly turns and looks at Wooyoung and says “Excuse me?” He looks over at me and Yunho with a puzzled expression and mouths “What’s up with him?” Yunho then lets out a chuckle and says “Oh, you know San and Wooyoung bickering.”
Seonghwa walks over to the counter and makes himself a hot chocolate while talking to Yunho, a few minutes later he sits on the other side of the lounge seat next to me while holding his mug on one hand and says “Hey, you’re quiet is everything okay?” I nod then I set my mug on the ground “Yeah, I’m fine why?” Seonghwa looks over at me examining my facial expression then says “Oh, just asking. You’re usually not this quiet.” I blankly stare at the ground for a few seconds until I finally decide to speak “I feel terrible.” Yunho gives me a concerned look “About what?” Suddenly Yunho’s radio goes off “Yunho, come down here I need you to go run a quick errand for me.” Yunho drops his head and sighs, he then lifts his head up again and speaks into his radio “I’ll be right there.” He gets up, pats my head and says “I’m so sorry I have to go, tell me all about it later okay?” He leaves me and Seonghwa alone to which he says in a soft voice “Go on, I’m here.” I stare at the ground for what seemed an eternity again then I manage to say “I feel horrible about that innocent girl’s death to the point I physically feel sick.” Seonghwa clicks his tongue and sets his mug on the table next to him “You want me to tell you something?” I look over and softly hum he then says in a very serious tone “That girl wasn’t innocent. She was a liar and a murderer that almost got some of us killed at one point. Echo Kyrian.” I cover my mouth with my hand. That name sounds awfully familiar. I just couldn’t put my finger on it. “I’ve heard of her.” He nods then leans back in his seat onto the wall “I figured. She was the one who organized a shootout on Locust Street, which was our previous head quarters. That day we lost a lot of people that worked for us. Yeosang, and Mingi got severely injured but luckily they both pulled through. The reason this all even started was because she lied about having insight on Lee since she also worked for The Obsidian Dragon later we found out she was a lower level worker so she never even met him at all. For months she mocked San about the loss of all the people that worked for us, unfortunately she was also asking San to pay up or his inner circle was next to be destroyed." Bingo, that's where I've heard of her, she's well known for extortion. "Yeah, I know who you're talking about now. Wow, I didn't know about all of that though. I guess you guys did what the police couldn’t." He silently nods then I gently pat his shoulder "Well it's over with, she's gone now don't worry. I’m glad she’s out of you guys’ way" He smiles then gently pats my hand on his shoulder "It should be you who should be happy, you're free now." Free, all at the cost of another wretched life. "You’re right, thank you." He pulls his hand away and grabs his mug again "Of course, but the main person you should be thanking is San not me. I just followed orders. Besides I've seen how much he cares about you and that’s a rare occurrence coming from him. You should go talk to him so he could get over that little argument he had with Wooyoung. He did say you guys are close friends now so he should be really happy seeing you check up on him." I pick up my mug off of the floor and walk to the sink to rinse it out. “I’ll do that, I want to at least thank him since I didn’t get to earlier.”
I head over to San’s office and try to open the door but it was locked. I sigh and I knock on the door “San, it’s Y/N. Please open up I just want to see you for a little bit.” A few seconds later I hear the door unlock, immediately after he opens the door I hug him tightly. Completely in shock he hugs me back and gently pats the back of my head and says “Oh hey, you missed me didn’t you?” I pull back and brush my fingers through his soft black hair “Well, I came to thank you but yes. It was more like I also got worried seeing you storm off that way I just wanted to make sure you were okay. That and I also just wanted to thank you” I walk into his office and close the door behind me. Being here feels a bit weird because the last time I was in here I was basically San’s prisoner.
He smiles "Thank me? For what?" I reach out for his hand and lace his fingers between mine "Well, helping me shake everyone off my back by faking my death. It was very nice of you to have enough empathy to help me." He gently places his hand on my cheek, his cat like eyes examining my face. "There's no need to thank me angel eyes, of course I'm going to help you. Besides this will help us in the long run." He's right, at least now I don't have to sneak around the way I would have probably done if we just went with me being missing. I still feel for my family though, I can't imagine with how worried they are. Maybe one day when this ends I can maybe see them. I lean into his touch "Enough of me though, is everything okay? You seemed pretty upset with what Wooyoung said."
“I’m okay, it’s just Wooyoung can be a bit rude sometimes and it really pissed me off how he was just insinuating you’re untrustworthy when I know deep down that you’re not” He leads me to the seat in front of his desk, meanwhile he sits on the edge of his desk in front of my chair. I look over and notice San’s somewhat hurt expression mixed with anger. “It’s okay, it doesn’t phase me. Let him think that way, I’ll prove to him and everyone else who thinks otherwise. That’s what I did back at the station, I showed them.” A small smile appears on San’s lips “Alright then, in that case I’ll give you time to show off. I need a hit for someone, that’s if you’re ready.” I knew there had to be a catch, what a better way to show your loyalty than to get blood on your hands. Smart. I sigh and shove my hands under my legs. He reaches over to me and gently strokes my cheek and says in a soft voice “I’m not forcing you to do anything. I’m giving you free will to do as you wish, you’re welcome to just stay here where you’re safe.” I look down gently biting the inside of my lip. I have to do this, not just to prove to everyone here I’m worth trusting but I’m going to make sure Captain Lee regrets ever having me “die” just to save himself. San pushes a few strands of hair behind my ear “Is everything okay?” I tightly press the cushion under my hand with my fingers “I’ll do it. Who’s the hit?” San gets off from his desk and walks over to the filing cabinet next to the bookcase behind him then comes back with a folder with the name “Ryu Moon” on it. I open the folder and I see a picture of the person, he looked to be in his late 20’s and looked like your typical spoiled rich kid. I read the file for a few minutes then San says “Can you do it?” I silently nod then I say almost inaudibly “Yeah, I can.” he turns to me with a serious look on his face “I’ll have Mingi go with you, just in case. Jongho will be your driver.” I nod then I clasp both my cold hands together trying to warm them up “ Okay so when is it?” San takes his glasses off and sets them on the table and rubs his eyes a bit “The weekend, you have about 4 days. I’m saying the weekend because he usually heads out to the club Friday nights.” Wow, such short notice but I see what he's trying to do. I get up from my chair and force a smile “Well, I’ll get to practicing then. I haven’t fired a gun in a while so I’m a bit rusty.” San pulls me over to him and says “I want to watch you practice, can I?” Way to go, I have spectator anxiety. I really don’t want to do terrible in front of him. Now that’ll be embarrassing, making an ass out of yourself in front of your mafia boss boyfriend. I thickly swallow and shrug “Sure, if you want to.” San gently kisses my forehead and grabs my hand leading me out of the door. He looks around again and looks back at me “Hey, follow me.” We both walk down all the way down to an underground shooting range.
As soon as I walk in I gasp at the amount of weapons on display. I walk over to inspect the weapons and some of them appear to be stolen due to the fact some of them are weapons used by the military and the police force. To start off I grab myself a small pistol and load it then I put on the protective ear muffs. While San stands a few yards behind me I stand at the booth then take aim, pull the trigger and to my horror I notice how I almost completely missed the target. Shit, just pretend he’s not there you can do it. Pretend you’re back at the station practicing and you’re showing off to Chris how well your accuracy is. I take a deep breath then I exhale trying to calm my nerves, I focus on my target then I pull the trigger again this time emptying the magazine of the gun. San smirks “Let’s go see how well you did.” We walk over and look at the target, for a few seconds he stands there and examines the target then he says “Aside from those first two shots, your accuracy is beautiful.” My ears warm up then I shyly look down and I say “Thank you, I promise I can do much better I'm just a bit rusty.” He reaches over and holds my hand “Do you want to continue practicing with this one or practice with something higher caliber?” Instantly I respond a little too excited “Higher caliber since I haven't practiced with one in a few months maybe about 3 or 4.” We walk back and look at all the higher caliber options while carefully looking at all the guns he picks one out in particular, he grabs the M24 (police rifle) and hands it over to me and says “I’m sure you’re familiar with this one right?” I nod “Yeah we were trained with these but we actually don’t use these anymore, they were replaced with a more enhanced version.” Impressed, San slightly raises his eyebrows then says “Hmm, that’s interesting. Should we go see your shooting abilities outside angel eyes?” Hesitantly I nod then I check that the safety is on the rifle and I sling it over my shoulders. San grabs a whole box of ammo and while walking outside I clench onto the rifle strap the whole time and follow behind San. My first time going outside in about a month and a half. How does San just trust me like this? A gun in my hands with his back facing me. Does he not know I could easily betray him if I wanted to? I know my life as a cop wasn’t guaranteed but San has blood on his hands from so many other mafia gangs who have a target on his head. So many would kill to be in my position right now, but unfortunately the more I've gotten to know him the less I want him to ever get hurt.
“We’re here.” I slightly squint due to the beaming sunlight, once my eyes adjust I look around and realize we’re in the middle of nowhere. Trees sprawled out everywhere with a heavy forest in the distance. San then points over and says “You see those targets over there? Try starting with the one closest to us.” I set up the gun at the edge of the building and while I focus on the target and I land the first shot but not a headshot. I let out a small frustrated sigh and mutter “Come on.” then I hold my breath and carefully aim and successfully get the headshot. By the 3rd target I get in my groove and successfully finish all 10 targets. When I finish, San walks over to me in shock while looking into binoculars and says “Wow, that’s amazing. You did great. ” Not used to the compliments I awkwardly press my lips into a smile “Are you just saying that because you’re my boyfriend?” He chuckles and shakes his head and says “No, I’m serious. I just witnessed one of the reasons why everyone was making a huge deal about finding you. You're amazing.” I carefully set down the gun and I look at the trees in the distance solemnly “Well, you’d think being so well trained would have kept me from getting kidnapped.” San crosses his arms and steps next to me while looking at the trees in the distance alongside me and says “I’m sure if you knew you would have easily taken both MIngi and Wooyoung down. Which is why we were extra careful with you, we had to take precautions we usually never have to take.” When he gets serious like this is what scares me the most. I shove my hands in the pockets of my sweater “That was honestly no excuse. Not even the fact that I was exhausted, the only good thing that came out of this is that I met you. Even if you do scare me sometimes.” San turns and looks at me with a raised eyebrow “I scare you?” Shit. Did I just say that?! I silently stare at the ground for a bit then I sit down and continue “Yeah, it’s like you’ve forgotten that I’ve seen the aftermath of all your violent crimes, all the blackmail, extortions, the death. Ever since I became a cop I’ve been studying your every move and I’m sorry but you’re really scary in terms of what’s in your file.” San kneels next me and gently strokes my hair “I’d never do such things to you though, I…I love you far too much to hurt you like that. If anything you’ve brought out the softer side of me, something nobody including my own family has rarely seen since my father died.” I stare at the trees in the distance ever so slightly sway “I feel the same way. I care so much about you and I know you’re a good person at heart but it just freaks me out a bit when I remember how violent you are when someone gets on your bad side. I understand it’s to avenge your dad but I don’t know, the image I have of you from when I worked back at the station was really not a good one so it just keeps coming back to me even if I know you’re not truly like that.”
He sits next to me gently pulling one of my hands out of my pocket to hold it. His gaze completely softens to try and eliminate any trace of fear I have towards him. “Look, I know this life of crime for you isn’t your normal so I understand why you’d feel that way, you’re not used to it. So I respect you for even agreeing to do this hit to begin with but just remember that for you, I’m willing to take a bullet just so you’d be safe.” I look over at San who’s expression seemed sincere with a hint of him feeling hurt he then continues and says “I know you still don’t fully trust me and I understand that. I don’t blame you, so please don’t beat yourself over it. I promise I’ll do everything in my power so you can trust me.” I tilt my head and rest it on his shoulder while I hold his arm “Thank you for all the kindness you’ve shown me from the very beginning. I know you didn’t choose to be born among chaos.” He gently kisses the side of my head “It’s funny how we started off practicing and now we’re just sitting here like this.” I smile and stand up, pick up the gun again and hand it to San “You want to practice too?” San smiles with his dimples fully visible “Actually, I like watching you shoot it’s pretty hot.” I let out a scoff “Oh, shit. Okay well in that case I’ll take this back then.” I take the gun and begin to load it and a few seconds later I turn back and notice San looking at me with his face in his palms. I turn back and my ears and face heat up. I really don’t deserve him, but having him at my side brings so much comfort to me especially after my "death" and how two faced my old boss is I’m just hoping he won’t change his mind about me eventually.
‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆. ✧˚₊‧⋆‧‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆. ✧˚₊‧⋆‧‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆. ✧˚₊‧⋆‧‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆.
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#ateez series#ateez x reader#ateez fanfiction#choi san x reader#ateez angst#ateez imagine#ateez scenarios#park seonghwa x reader#ateez imagines#ateez ot8#kpop imagines#Fic: The Syndicate#non idol au#mafia au
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Aromanticism and Otome Games
I am an aromantic who loves otome games. It may seem incredibly contradictory, especially since the common perception of otomes is that they are wish-fulfillment games for people to insert themselves into a story where they date attractive men. There's definitely nothing wrong with playing them in that way, and many people get a lot of enjoyment out of them, but that isn't the only way to play an otome game. In fact, many otome game players prefer not to self-insert at all and I’m one of them!
My personal experience being aromantic means I do not feel romantic attraction to anyone, and I do not desire or need a romantic relationship to feel fulfilled in life. I’m perfectly happy with my platonic bonds and my perpetual singleness! That’s how I experience it, but there are many different ways to be aromantic, and there’s no one universal experience that defines how all aromantic people live their lives. Some are repulsed by romance and its overbearing presence in nearly all forms of media, and others are comfortable seeing other people experience romance despite not experiencing it themselves (though these, of course, are not the only two groups). I personally lean more towards the latter category. I love romance stories!
For me, playing an otome game is like watching a romance movie where I get to decide who the heroine ends up with. It's like a shipper's dream! I don’t self-insert because I am not comfortable putting myself in romantic situations, but by observing a fictional couple, I can safely explore the romantic plots and experiences that interest me. And let me tell you, I love a good romance plot. Especially one with drama.
A comparison I like to make when people don’t seem to get it is that I also really, really love murder mysteries and tragedies, but I do NOT want to actually experience them myself. What I want for a character and what I want for myself are two completely separate things, so there’s really no contradiction!
In fact, playing otome games was a big part of my aromantic journey in the first place. I never had crushes as a kid that weren’t forced or peer pressured. When people talk about the characters in their childhood shows that they had crushes on, I can never relate. To me, there were only interesting characters and stories. I’ve never really wanted anything more than that.
So when my second-ever relationship ended and I was wondering whether I really felt romantic attraction at all, I decided to try otome games.
I chose Collar x Malice as my first game because, as I mentioned earlier, I am a huge fan of mysteries and tragedies, and the premise intrigued me. Then, throughout my exploration of various otome games (and as I quickly became hooked on them) I tried some games with less developed heroines, specifically made for self-inserting, and found that I couldn’t handle them. Separating myself from the heroine helped me enjoy the games more as I realized that I didn’t actually want to be in these romantic situations myself, but only wanted to enjoy the story.
So what was the point of this whole post? I guess just to share my own personal experiences as an aromantic otome-lover and address the contradiction. Otome games aren’t necessarily mainstream-popular, but they certainly have their dedicated fans, and I’ve really enjoyed the interactions I’ve had so far with these fandom spaces.
Sure, the primary focus of the games may be pretty boys who you can date, but otome games can also be so much more than that! It’s a genre I’m glad I decided to try.
I’m happy to be an aro along for the ride to read some good stories, puzzle out the right route choices, and look at some aesthetically pleasing character designs along the way! :)
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So small slightly deeper explanation of the anti/pro shipping drama for the bean who asked about it.
The reason people put proshippers dni is because the pro shipping community is heavily infected with people who think it’s ok to ship children with adults or to ship siblings in a non-platonic manner and that they shouldn’t be called out for it.
I’m all for shipping whatever you please do long as it’s not incestuous or pedophilic. Those are where I draw the line because allowing it in spaces makes it easier for predators to claim they’re just in their actions.
Anti-shippers usually try to call out predators in spaces but aren’t without their own bad apples with the aforementioned people who take it too far with harassment.
It’s a very nuanced situation because I don’t think people should be harassed over shipping but problematic ones l mentioned should be addressed in a serious manner and called out so they less of a chance to groom others.
(No hate this is just a topic I know a lot about and figured I’d give a better explanation on the topic, I don’t consider myself to be on either side but a neutral party. Love your content and hope you have a lovely day Momma bean!)
I don’t think people should be harassed for noncon stuff either to be honest, it’s dark fiction and as long as the author tags it right they should be left alone because people with actual noncon kinks are respectful of the safe word and want you to feel safe and secure. I think dark topics like yandere and obsession should be explored with characters and writing for those who can handle it or at the very least have a small interest in the genre.
I understand why people think fiction of this is bad. I’m a victim of this horrible crime and I understand never wanting to touch the topic. But this helps me feel in control and to express darker things that I’d never want in a million years in a healthy way. It’s ok to not like noncon 100% fine! But to shame people who do it safely and have warnings and let you know how dark it’s gonna get? Idk man. Idk. Doesn’t sit right.
I’m not shaming people who like vanilla stuff either not one bit. I want them happy and healthy and feeling safe in their little zone! It’s just the people who proclaim to be sunshine and rainbows often turn to be the hurricane in disguise. Just because you like wholesome media, it doesn’t make you a wholesome person.
I write horror and worse and y’all know me. I like to think I’m pretty nice and welcoming. ((If not let me know??? This is supposed to be a shame free blog after all???))
I get not wanting to read or write for non consensual scenarios and much worse but it’s just another dark medium certain people including me use to escape reality or to even heal from trauma. There’s a reason I write mine so gentle and protective yet scary and demanding. It makes me feel like I’m not damaged goods and that I’m wanted even if it’s more or less not reciprocated lol
Idk I’m rambling at this point I just think people should leave people alone as long as real life, flesh human beings aren’t being hurt.
-Mommabean
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Audio Drama Sunday - 9th July ✨
For a good long while now, I've been sharing my weekly thoughts on the fantastic audio drama I've listened to each week on Twitter... I think it's time to start sharing them here too!
I’d love to start by shouting out @tellnotalespod’s S2 crowdfunding campaign. I need to know what happens to these characters like I need air to breathe and I have a specially vested interest as I’m going to be playing a really sweet ghostie this season.
PLEASE let’s make this happen!!
🌲Happy birthday to Mx Wellman, the @hellofromthehallowoods creator! I listened to this week’s episode while cycling to and from work and happened to be wearing leggings with lightning bolts on them…. You can imagine how FAST I got home during Olivier’s affirmations!
📻 (104) The first @monstrousagonies letter made me so sad for the writer but really raises such a good point about how to cope with people doubting the authenticity of your identity. I especially feel that this is important when people enter more diverse (often online) spaces and meet people who have identities that you may not have met otherwise. If a new identity resonates with you, you can explore that! “And if you do decide that transformation is right for you, well. Welcome home.”
🌒 (S4E17) OUGH I don’t want to spoil anything because today’s Moonbase Theta Out (@monkeymanproductions) episode isn’t out at the time of writing but oh my GOD. BRACE yourselves. You’re going to cry, you’re going to laugh, you’re going to wish you could act HALF as well as Tau Zaman and Cat Blackard!! I am SO excited for the season finale - I’m sure it’s going to be … explosive.
🧛♂️ @re-dracula Renfield time! I was so confused about this part of the story when I first read it, but the team are doing an amazing job of bringing it to life!
🧬 Ep 3 of Regina Prime was great! Poor Prime, she’s wandering into something far greater than she could have ever anticipated and I love the contrast between her cheerful exploration and the jaded additions from Omega. I’m enjoying this so much!!
💫 This week I listened to episodes 7-9 of Wolf 359. I love Doug and Hera’s relationship. I’m not sure if the genre of the show is going to shift over time, but I’m really enjoying how it’s falling in the same weird place as WTNV where the events are strange and a little uncomfortable, but you’re always waiting for the punchline.
Hope everyone has a lovely week! I’ve told myself that I’m going to wrap up writing S2 of The Vesta Clinic by the end of the month and it’s looking like that’s going to be possible!! Sending only the finest creative vibes to everyone else who’s working on something they want to be proud of!
#audio drama#audiodramasunday#audio drama sunday#tell no tales pod#tell no tales#hfth#hello from the hallowoods#monstrous agonies#moonbase theta out#re: dracula#regina prime#wtnv#wolf 359#w359#the vesta clinic#podcast recs#science fiction#audio fiction
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Wolfstar and Jegulus Roleplay
Hello everyone!
I will cut the chase short: I am currently looking for some Marauders Roleplay! As tagged, I am interested in roleplaying mxm, more precisely Wolfstar or Jegulus with some partaking Jily on the side, depending on the context.
I have roleplayed Remus, Sirius, and James in the past. I won’t say I have a favorite, but I do feel like I know Remus and James a tad more than Sirius. They are still up for grabs though, so don’t hesitate to come forward because as long as we play our cards right, there shouldn’t be any problem as to who we pick ahah. Here is a short laundry list before you keep reading:
It is very important to me that you are legal [18+]. I will not be roleplaying mature content with people below the age of 20. I am a little older myself and it tends to make me uncomfortable.
I have been writing for years. If it is a one-liner roleplay you are looking for, I do not believe we will be a good match. I am looking for someone who is semi-lit at the very least!
I am generally a very active person, but I do have a full-time job and full-time obligations as well. If this rings a bell, welcome to the adult world ahah. A reply a day (and more) does go a long way!
I am back to GMT-5. Not that it really matters but it’s always good to be aware of this! I usually RP on Discord.
If you think you qualify, I’m certain we can be great friends :) Now, on to the very serious talk: what is it I’m really looking for?
A Wolfstar and or Jegulus roleplay. Very simply. As mentioned earlier, I do not mind the good old Jily as well, but they are not usually a couple I necessarily plan around!
I love to explore different genres so if you come up to me and tell me you love medieval aus or space aus, I’ll be just as enchanted to roleplay with you as if you told me you would like to stick to the Marauder’s timeline.
I love to plot. Obviously, I’m not seeking every precocious detail but I like to have an idea of the overall story and scenes. It does not have to be extensive, but a little hint will give us both something to look forward to. :)
[20+] I am definitely open to smut but I rarely, if ever, rp pwp. I am certain we can find a way to add it to a more polished storyline.
If in the end, something tickles your fancy and you decide to send me a message, I will gladly reply! Come and say hello, I don’t bite, I promise ahah. For the people who are a little more shy or want to role-play Chanbaek, but have no idea where to start, I have a few plots in mind that I will be more than happy to share.
Congratulations on making it to the end. I don’t have any chocolate frogs, but I have loads of Wolfstar to offer. It’s all waiting for you, just a like or a message away~
#wolfstar#jegulus#wolfstar roleplay#jegulus roleplay#wolfstar rp#jegulus rp#marauders#marauders era#remus x sirius#james x regulus#remus lupin#sirius black#james potter#regulus black#harry potter rp#hp rp
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Hey so genuine question (which I'm doing not on anon Incase you'd rather answer privately) and please pardon my ignorance but how does an aro/ace person like romance/smut let along create it? Like I know being aro/ace is lacking the respective attraction towards someone else specifically but wouldn't that still bleed over into media? Like I don't understand how you write romance but also don't like it yourself and I wanna understand haha
Hey, I don’t mind you asking, but thanks for understanding that not everyone would be happy to discuss it. I don’t pretend to be able to speak for everyone, obviously, and asexuality is a beautifully broad spectrum and people fit at different points along it, sometimes more than one at a time.
Asexual is not the same as aromantic (I know you’re talking about the ‘romance genre’ in general, but I figured I’d drop this in too). I’m not aromantic - I’m happily married and very soppily in love - but I am asexual so I’m not really interested in sex happening to me. Im not sex-averse, the way many aces are, but Im just not super bothered or interested in it happening to me. It’s akin to autochorisexuality, I suppose, which is a subset of the wider umbrella of asexuality. I’m not too fussed about labels for myself, so I just go with ace usually and leave it at that.
I enjoy reading stories which happen to have smut in because it is something the characters in the story want. They’re involved and enjoying it (at least in the stories I read) and I enjoy reading how they react to each other and to various sensations. AO3 is an absolute blessing because of its tagging and filtering system, because I have a lot of squicks when it comes to smut, and I also don’t tend to seek out stories that are just pwp one-shots. I need the characters to have some kind of connection before I’m interested in reading a smutty bit of their story. Again, this is similar to demisexuality.
I enjoy reading about how people feel when they’re being touched sexually, how they explore one another physically, how that brings them closer together, what it means to them etc. I like to equate it with reading about someone doing something like bungee jumping or flying a plane. I have no real desire to do it myself, but it’s fun and enjoyable for me to read about how they experienced it and what it felt like and how they felt about it. If that makes sense?
Tldr: I don’t enjoy all kinds of smut. There’s an awful lot of smut and erotica that I really super duper do not enjoy, and if you know my writing, you’ll know the kind of thing I am drawn to - tender, loving, with an underlying emotional connection between the characters, and all pretty vanilla really, I suppose.
I hope that helps explain a little about why I’m happy to write and read some smut, even though it’s not something I am interested in experiencing myself in my own life.
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Red Light - Graphic Canvases
Nightmare!Hoseok x Psychologist!Reader
Word Count: 1.5k
Genre: Horror AU, Monster AU, Psychological horror, some fluff, perhaps a touch of angst.
Warnings: Talk of bodily harm/gore, using blood for paint (Blame Yoongi), etc. It should be noted that this story will contain themes of horror/psychological horror and also explore obsessive behaviors and codependency. Many characters are morally gray. Please be warned!
Summary: It’s time to try something new, and you can only hope it’ll pay off considering how far you’re sticking your neck out.
Notes: More interaction between characters! This will have a part 2 for sure, I hope you all enjoy 🤭
This is the 25th part of the Red Light series. Find the Masterlist here ♥️
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“So… Welcome to group therapy.”
Perhaps not a full group, but the idea stands. Two nightmare sit directly in front of you, two very different expressions on their faces. Seokjin looks pleasant, pink lips slightly upturned in a small smile as he looks back at you. Yoongi, however, looks like he’s about to bolt, eyes scrunched in disgust as he stares toward the door longingly. You can’t blame him, group activities don’t seem to be his forté.
“I’ve decided to take this route for a number of reasons. First off, I believe you’re all much too isolated in your cells, even if there is the ability to talk to one another. Second, I think it would be good to talk out anything you wish to speak of with not just myself, but others.Well likely do this once or twice a week, similar to our other sessions.” Seokjin nods his head in understanding, still complacent, while Yoongi attempts to ruin it. He kisses his teeth, finally turning to gaze at you with those striking silver eyes. You just blink back passively, ready for whatever outburst he’s about to have.
“You’re going to make me talk out my feelings with bubblegum boy? That’s just mean doctor, cruel even!” He jingles the chains wrapped around his wrists and ankles, a precautionary measure although a very sad one. Both men have them on, but you know it’s just a pretense at this point; they could get out if they really wanted to. Hoseok proved that not too long ago. Shaking your head slightly, you tap your pen aimlessly on your notes.
“No Yoongi, I won’t make you do anything you don’t wish to. It’s completely up to you to pick and choose what you discuss. It could be anything really, I just want to hear about you. Also…” Looking back and forth between them, you’re not really sure how to bring it up. It doesn’t seem to be a taboo topic per se but you don’t want to ruffle any feathers either…
“I’m not sure how to go about saying this without sounding presumptuous, but please feel free to shift here. I won’t discipline or judge you for making changes to your appearance if it makes you more comfortable.” Glancing at Yoongi quickly, he doesn’t seem to change anything outwardly. But slowly, you watch as Seokjin’s hair changes from black to pink without a word. It makes you ease up a little as his smile turns into a satisfied grin.
“Doctor, if I may… How hard was it to convince them to allow this? I can’t remember the last time any of us were in the same space together with a wall in between, much less with a doctor in our reach.” The last week or so has been… Interesting, to say the least. Dr. Kim has decided to take a somewhat permanent residence on Floor 13 and you can safety say you’re very happy about it. As for the lack of walls and space, that’s all you. If they kill you now, you can only blame yourself for the misjudgment.
“Not as hard as you’d think. There’s been a bit of shift in hierarchy lately that’s worked in my favor. And yes, I’m speaking bluntly with you because word travels quickly down here and it would be foolish of me to pretend otherwise.” Both Nightmares glance at each other as if they’re communicating, but otherwise stay silent at the revelation. They may not know that you know about Hoseok’s abilities, but nonetheless… You hope that it’s good silence, because really, you think it’s going to work in their favor.
“Now, is there anything either of you would like to talk about? If not, I can always get things rolling with some general questions about how you’ve been.” It’s quiet for a bit as you all stare at each others, faces nearly blank until Yoongi all but screeches like a demon from hell. Turning to him with pursed lips, your raise a curious brow to give him the floor… Which turns out to be a terrible mistake.
“Word in the halls is that you sucked face with Hoseok after he ripped that nasty fuckers heart out. Saucy behavior from such a prim doctor, though not really surprising; I’d be swept off my feet too… Don’t give me that look! Pinky here told me.” One blink, then two then many as you try to process Yoongi’s words without malfunctioning. Of course they know; hell, they all probably know when you take your bathroom breaks at this point. Nothing’s a secret down here, not even when you piss.
“… I can neither confirm nor deny these claims.” Yoongi grins salaciously at you, eyes wide with excitement while Seokjin cocks his head to the side, eyes alight with something you aren’t quite sure you like. All these Nightmares are much too cheeky for their own good, which makes it very hard to hide the building embarrassment. You can’t be mad though, not when they’re opening up so much.
“Aw, don’t be shy Doctor! There’s no need to be ashamed of your love. I heard the room was a bloodbath, how romantic.” You’ve never wanted to flick one of them on the forehead more, although the teasing is interesting. You’ll have to take more detailed notes later. Taking a deep breath, you ignore Yoongi’s loud maniacal giggles and Seokjin’s small hum as you clear your throat, pen tapping away yet again. Time to steer things back to where they should be.
“We’re meant to talk about the both of you, not me. Let’s get back on track now.” It goes quiet again, and surprisingly, neither pushes the topic any further. Yoongi raises his hand and waves it around with wide eyes until you call on him, unsure of when you had become a teacher and not a psychologist.
“Jungkookie has the prettiest eyes. They look like a galaxy. I want to paint them on my wall like a mural, although I guess I can’t use Andrews’ blood anymore...” Yoongi huffs, his chains shaking looks away. Seokjin’s usual calm composure finally seems to break, his eyes nearly rolling into the back of his head as he melts into his chair. Clearly, he’s heard the same tune many times before and isn’t excited to hear it again. Nodding complacently, you can’t help but agree, especially since it also allows you to reveal the true fun of today.
“…Yes, okay. I fully agree, Mr. Jeon does have nice eyes. This is actually a good time to mention, I’ve ordered some art supplies for you all, but more specifically for Yoongi. Jungkook should hear shortly with it and we’ll do a little exercise. Seokjin, what about you, anything you need?” The silver Nightmare nearly rips the chains off as he drags himself forward, scooting himself toward you with excited ‘Reallys?!’ falling from his lips.
“Yes really. Perhaps you’ll like acrylics just as much as you enjoy blood. It’s not the same texture, but…” Seokjin seems to ponder for a while, eyes looking far away as Yoongi finally bumps knees with you. It’s odd; you’ve never been this close to a Nightmare save for Hoseok, but it doesn’t feel dangerous. No, it almost feels like being close to an elated friend with the way happiness comes forth from Yoongi’s rapid excitement.
Testing it out, you pat his knee a few times and confirm that yes, today will be a painting session after you finish talking and yes, Jungkook will be here for guard duty since they’ll be unchained. With the way Yoongi looks, you don’t think anything could sour his mood, not even Seokjin interrupting his ramblings.
“Would… Would you ever do a group session with me and Namjoon?” It’s the most timid he’s ever sounded, voice quiet and unsure. Yoongi quiets down and looks between the two of you, then trains his eyes on your face, strangely serious.
“Sure, I don’t see why not. I was actually planning to mix up the groups eventually, I just thought it would be easier to start you off with your roommates. If it’s something you’d really like, I’ll make it happen.” And it’s true; you’ve been planning to mix them up from the start to see how it would go. Seokjin nods hesitantly and drops the subject. You don’t know the extent of Seokjin’s and Namjoon’s relationship, but you know something important lies there. And maybe, just maybe, you picked Jungkook very specifically for today for Yoongi.
There’s a sudden knock on the door, all three of you turning to look at it curiously. Then a few bangs and clangs before Jungkook peaks his head through, hair falling into wide eyes as he gazes in. The man was very excited to hear about getting out of regular guard duty, but you hadn’t told him much of what to expect.
“Knock knock, I have a fuck ton of paint and some canvases…?” Jungkook steps into the room with a cart full of stuff, slowly pushing it in. Yoongi calls out for him, prompting a toothy smile from Jungkook as Seokjin sighs. Their relationship still stumps you a bit, but hopefully today will show you something new. Standing up from your chair, you clap your hands together and step forward to start grabbing supplies.
“Perfect timing. Let’s get started.”
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Tags: @parkdatjimin @sugarflywme @pamzn @mizz-kraziii @hiii-priestess @winkii @noonas-magicshop @xuxibelle @lookhere-2seok
If you wanna be tagged leave a comment or ask! My only rule is that you have your age (18+!) displayed somewhere on your blog! ♥️
#red light ♥️#hoseok x you#hoseok x reader#hoseok x y/n#hoseok fluff#hoseok angst#bts x y/n#bts x reader#bts x you#bts fluff#bts angst#bts horror au#bts monster au
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HeYYooo! I'm so happy you reached 100 followers!!! (Insert party popers emojis because I'm on PC) I would love to have Harrison with the injury prompt (The reader being injured) in Harrison's POV. I hope you have a good day (Or night), and again congrats!!!
Thank you so much for the request! I love writing from the suitor's POV and this was a great way to explore Harrison's personality and inner monologue. I hope you enjoy it!
At Fault
Pairing: Harrison Gray (POV) x Reader
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort
WC: ~1.3
C/W: Mentions of blood and critical injury
This wasn’t supposed to happen. It was supposed to be me. They were aiming at me. Me!
I slam my fists on the wood of the wall outside your hospital room. You were in there fighting for your life because I was too stupid to see you coming until it was too late.
—Bang!
The moment keeps replaying in my mind in slow motion. You jumping in front of me as the silver bullet hurtled toward me. The second the metal pierces your delicate skin of your chest. The spurt of crimson blossoming in stark contrast to the white of your blouse. The way your eyes rolled back in your head as your body slumped to the ground.
Vivid images flash through my mind in a torturous torrent, leaving me trembling.
“Harry—” Liam’s cautious approach seemed to be drowned by a thick curtain of water, so very distant and gentle. It never would have made sense to anyone else. They didn’t understand how gut-wrenchingly guilty this entire situation was making me feel. I was supposed to know he was going to shoot.
I can’t believe I didn’t pay close enough attention. I can’t believe I let myself get distracted. And now you’re paying the price. You were lying there, critically injured because of my incompetence.
I shoot a glare at Liam, trying to keep my rage in check. The startled look in his fuchsia gaze is almost painful to see. I know it’s not his fault, I know that taking my internal hatred out on him will do nothing but make me feel even more guilty later.
I try to keep a lid on my emotions. I’ve prided myself on keeping a level-head in the most heated situations, but now I don’t think I can force myself to hold back anymore. I’m drowning in the sea of pain and rage and sorrow and fear.
Liam moves just a bit closer, hand ruffling his pink hair in apprehension. He can tell. Of course, he can tell. He’s known me better than anyone else in Crown and I know I can’t truly hide anything from him.
“—we should go to another room,” Liam offers gently, holding out a hand to me. “I stole a bottle of whiskey from Roger so let’s go knock back a couple of drinks.”
It was a lie. I didn’t even need to use my ability to know that. There was no way Roger would let his alcohol go without a fight, but even still, I appreciate the sentiment and solemnly follow Liam into the other room.
“You want to talk about it?” Liam asks hesitantly, handing a small glass to me. I take the drink and swirl it around in my hand, but set it down on the table in front of me. I slump down onto the couch, shoulders hunched and head hanging.
“It’s my fault Liam. It’s completely my fault that she got shot and I don’t know how to handle it.”
The admission causes hot tears to prick at my eyes. God, I haven’t cried in so long, it feels so wrong.
“The guy said he wasn’t gonna shoot if I backed down. I wasn’t paying close enough attention. I should have seen that he was lying. That’s my entire job and I failed at that. And now she’s paying for my idiocy.”
“Harry you wouldn’t have been able to stop her, even if you had known he was going to shoot. Knowing her, she’d already made up her mind to protect you, regardless of if you knew he was telling the truth or not.”
Liam’s words cut into me like a red-hot knife. I want to keel over. It’s so much easier blaming myself. It makes so much more sense to blame myself. Surely you weren’t foolish enough to put yourself in danger just because of me.
I wanted to keep telling myself it was a mistake. My mistake. I know it’s not true, but I want it to be. I want it to be true so badly I’d been repeating it to myself like it was a mantra.
“I just need her to be okay…” My voice cracks on the last word and I wince at how weak I sound.
Liam places his hand on my shoulder, a sign of support. He knew me well enough to know that words weren’t going to do much of anything to help ease the painful ache in my heart.
Just a short moment later William entered the room a soft smile on his face. I jumped to my feet as he approached me, anxiety causing every nerve to burn while I awaited his news.
“They were able to remove the bullet. It seems that she was quite lucky. The bullet had managed to lodge in one of her ribs, and this was enough to prevent any vital organs from being hit. She’s going to be extremely sore for a few weeks, but she’ll be okay.”
I felt an overwhelming rush of relief wash over me and the strength seemed to vanish from my legs, sending me to my knees.
I felt so light headed and dizzy, I couldn’t even move.
She’ll be okay.
The words kept cycling through my mind and I didn’t hear Will continuing to talk. Liam crouched down and shook my arm.
“Did you hear him? He said she woke up. She’s asking after you. She wants to see you and know you’re alright,” Liam murmured gently. The obvious love and care glistening in his pink irises warmed me and I was finally able to regain my composure. I nodded, unsure if I would be able to form any coherent words.
Liam bounced up, offering me a hand, and helping me to my feet. Together we made our way down the hall back outside your room. Pushing through the door, I saw you reclined on the bed, a tired smile gracing your features as our eyes met.
Once again the relief I felt knowing you were okay seems to sap the strength from my legs and I shakily stepped over to you, dropping to my knees at the side of the bed. I grab one of your hands in mine and pressed a kiss against it, a tear managing to escape and roll down my cheek.
“Harry. I’m so glad you’re okay,” you smile, voice shallow and raspy.
“Shhh, sweetheart. You shouldn’t be worrying about me. I love you, I’m so incredibly relieved that you’re alright,” My words come out in a choked whisper as another tear falls from my eyes.
I have so many things I want to say. I want to scold you for being so reckless with your life. I want to thank you for saving mine. I want to tell you how lost I felt at the thought of never seeing you again. I wanted to make sure you knew how much I love you.
But my throat was too tight. Too choked with emotion to allow any verbal expression. I pushed myself up, curling onto the bed beside you and pressing the softest of kisses to your hair. Your scent filled my nostrils, calming my racing heart.
You were safe. I closed my eyes and allowed myself to finally relax. As the tension left my body, so too did my energy. I heard a soft huff of a laugh and the comforting touch of your hand filled me with so much warmth.
“I love you Harry,” you whisper. The sound of your quiet breathing is the last thing I hear as my mind fades away and sleep overtakes me.
Taglist: @aquagirl1978, @themiscarnival @abundance-pathchooser @candied-boys
Feel free to message me if you'd like to be added to the tag list!
#100 follower event#ikevil#ikemen villains#ikevil harrison#ikemen villains harrison#ikemen villains fanfiction#ikevil fanfic#harrison gray
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20 questions for fic writers 📝✨
Thank you for tagging me, @bittersweetresilience! I love talking about myself. I’m my own favourite subject.
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
As of now, 13! I’m keeping a couple in store as they were written for specific events.
2. What's your total AO3 word count?
62,992 let’s GO
3. What fandoms do you write for?
Miraculous Ladybug and Professor Layton! I should really get working on the latter again…
4. What are your Top 5 fics by kudos?
@paracosmicat look at our babies. They’re doing so well 💜💚
5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
I do!!! I love exchanging with readers, especially since our little fandom niche is so comfy and warm. If you’ve ever left me a kind comment or a bunch of happy emojis, please know you made my day! 💖
6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
WELL THEY ALL GET HAPPY ENDINGS
Clive isn’t doing too hot in The Lucky Ones right now, but it’s a WIP so he’ll get there. Eventually.
As for my finished fics, probably Everything I did (I did for you) pre-epilogue? I consider it to be a happy resolution, but Adrien is crying pretty hard.
7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
WELL THEY ALL GET HAPPY ENDINGS — Oh wait. I already mentioned that, didn’t I.
The fluffiest one (so far) is probably Avant-première!
8. Do you get hate on fics?
Nope! People have been wonderful overall. 💖
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
Oh oh, my friends. I wouldn’t even know where to start. I am a little ace dove who gets a critical case of boredom whenever movies feel the need to feature a smutty scene.
Nothing wrong with the genre itself, of course — it’s just not my cup of tea!
10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?
@dragongutsixofficial have discussed many crossovers over the years! Maybe one day I will commit one to paper. 🌍
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Nope! Hopefully this doesn’t change.
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
Nope, but that would be a good exercise! Writing in my first language (🇫🇷) actually puts a bigger pressure on my shoulders.
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
ABSOLUTELY AND HERE ARE THE GOODS:
Shadow Strike with @paracosmicat
Unmasked with @paracosmicat
ephialtes / reverie with the Anarchist Gang Server (🎶 all of you, all of youuu 🎶)
14. What's your all-time favorite ship?
🎶 In canon they have never met 🎶
Special mention to Feligami, because. Duh.
15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?
LISTEN I WILL FINISH IT I JUST NEED TO FOLLOW THE BRAINWORMS WHERE THEY TAKE ME
But right now it’s probably The Lucky Ones, my role swap AU for Professor Layton. I’ve been working on it since 2019 and I know where I’m going with it — it’s just taking a while to actually get there, y’know?
16. What are your writing strengths?
Well I’m very good at making myself cry. Which hopefully means the feelings are getting across to my lovely readers too.
I do have extensive experience on writing redeemed villains struggling to build back bridges with the people they love. 12 years of obsessing over a fictional terrorist will do that to you.
Technically speaking, though, I think I’ve gotten great at deleting bits of dialogue and description I don’t need to keep only the essentials! It makes my writing lighter, while also encouraging readers to explore the metaphors for themselves.
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
I am paiiinfully slow and lose motivation easily when writing longer fics (see: The Lucky Ones). Shadow Strike is the exception to the rule, and what a wonderful exception it is. 💜💚
One-shots are the format for me, but I’ve been enjoying two and three-parters a lot lately!
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?
I don’t think I’ve had to do it before (except for the occasional nickname or curse word), but I’d probably be able to!
19. First fandom you wrote for?
Probably Professor Layton or Pokémon Black and White! I got into these when I was 13. Dragon Quest IX came a little bit earlier, but it took a while to finish, so my one big fic for it must have been around the same time.
20. Favourite fic you've ever written?
How could you make me choose (Shadow Strike)
How dare you even suggest I might like some of my babies more than the others (Shadow Strike)
Preposterous. I could never pick just one —
SHADOW STRIKE
Hmm. Yes. It is Shadow Strike indeed. @paracosmicat and I have so much fun working together and we get to be as self-indulgent as our hearts desire. Truly our masterpiece. 💜💚
From a technical perspective, I think Everything I did (I did for you) is my best work so far! I’m very proud of the metaphors carefully woven into this one. Photosynthèse was a nice training!
Everything I write for Feligami fixes something in my brain chemistry, and La nuit, tous les chats sont gris just. Makes me so happy. For so many reasons.
Tagging @dragongutsixofficial, @paracosmicat and anyone who would like to participate! 💖📝
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Welcome to the Star Pride! (Sketch)
Here's a thing I've been working on with OccPixTFs (https://www.deviantart.com/occpixtfs)! Fayne beefcake lionification/twinning into Pix's OC Leo!
Fayne had never really been a fan of old console games... Especially from consoles older than he was by more than a third of his lifespan. He'd just never understood the appeal of them, with their strange 8-bit graphics and esoteric genres. But when the local game shop closed down they had a closing sale where everything had to go, he had some spare time so figured he might as well give it a chance! The store owner seemed especially keen on getting rid of a specific Sega Genesis and a game for it named Star Pride Voyagers... (https://www.deviantart.com/occpixtfs/art/Star-Pride-Voyagers-199X-Mockup-Pixel-Art-959597243) He gave Fayne such a discount that he got the cartridge AND the console for just 20 bucks! What a steal!! It was honestly too good to be true...
He took it home and with some effort, removed it from it's unassuming packaging. It was wrapped in a way that made it seem like they wanted to keep whatever was inside in, rather than keep it safe from whatever was outside... Which was strange to him but Fayne tried not to overthink it like he usually does. When he launched the game and dusted off the old console, the ginger boy was hit with a loud intro, narrated by a campy sounding macho lion! Sitting down, Fayne prepared for a blast from a past he'd never seen before!
"Welcome to Star Pride Voyagers! We can see you're new here, but you've got the courage and power of a lionhearted Captain~! After this Training Tutorial, you'll be an ace pilot in no time!" Played the crispy ancient audio from his speakers... Sending a chill up the boy's spine.
It was a strange intro, for sure. But Fayne wasn't worried at all until the console started crackling, and he felt static in the air. Then, he started to grow... and grow... and then bluish fur appeared on his skin and he knew he was in for it!
Fayne had heard before that a group of lions is a pride, but he definitely wasn't ready to experience a lion's pride firsthand! Now he just needed to find his flightsuit...and his ship, for that matter~
This is probably one of the gayest things I've ever drawn. It took a lot of willpower for me to get myself to make a true male on male transformation/corruption piece with a masculine framing, but it worked out in the end! Tell me what you think. Is it too far for your tastes? Or are you happy to explore new things? I for one am excited to learn more about masculinity and gender in a positive way!!
Originally finished in September 2023!
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#femboy#crossdressing#male#corruption#corrupted#masculinization#furry#lion#transformation#musclegrowth#muscle#transfur#sketch#gay
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