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#but I am doing these drawings for self entertainment and not for Serious Arts so I'm fine with being a dirty dirty tracer
simple-molly · 2 years
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POV she parachuted down and landed on you and now you have a concussion
an adaptation of Mushroom Umbrella
once again much cheating and tracing but I got it done! that's what's important to me and I am happy. look at my wonky girl!!
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lyraoctaviawrites · 1 month
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Welcome to the Octaviaverse!
This is the side blog for @lyraoctavia and I will be posting everything relating to my writing, artwork, music, games, etc here from now on. I thought it would be better to split the two to keep things more focused on the ridiculously expansive interconnected universe I’ve created over my many years as a human being, featuring literally dozens of ideas because I am a slave to my own creativity and my work is never finished. Sound good? Of course it does!
What kind of stuff do I do?
Writing: I like to write stories, usually fantasy, with epic, sprawling worlds, intricate magic, sarcastic and often completely ridiculous humour, identifiable characters with a ton of emotional development and campy ass villains who will entertain you so much that you’ll want to grind them into a fine paste with a large boot. However, I wouldn’t be adverse to also writing some slice of life stuff too. I am a certified Alice Oseman fangirl after all. I tend to not shy away from commenting on certain serious issues (e.g. abuse, death, self harm, attempted suicide) as well, so a lot of my works contain trigger warnings. However, I don’t enjoy writing explicit sexual content or stuff with a ton of blood and gore so don’t expect any of that.
Games: I am currently a game design student so most if not all of my game ideas are just that. Ideas. Ones that I will undoubtedly be crafting into the incredible experiences I know they have the ability to be. Most of my ideas are for platformers or RPGs with very little in-between and will all have, hopefully, perfect blends of story and gameplay. I personally hate when a story based game is bogged down by too many cutscenes, especially if the gameplay isn’t really that interesting (Xenoblade) so I’ll always try and strike a balance or find a workaround. My games all have amazing stories to tell but a story ain’t all a game is. Might as well make em fun first, right?
Music: I got a little less to say about this one. Most of my music writing is for my games that don’t exist yet, so I literally have hundreds of tracks just kinda sitting around waiting for me to use them. Sometimes I make other music but that’s rare. Most I’ve for for now are a couple remixes and the score concepts I’ve made for an animated series of Into the Phantasm (please gods let this happen, it would slap so dang hard).
Art: I draw cartoon characters and that’s about it. I am not a professional artist by any means, but my silly little guys can’t just stay sitting in my head forever, sometimes I gotta put ‘em on a page, even if I ain’t some modern Picasso. (Also, I’ve tried to make backgrounds and do actual shading a few times and it ruined my mental health for a while, so… I’ll stick with the glorious cartoonyness that I’m good at.)
Current WIPs
Into the Phantasm (epic fantasy 5 part book series)
Finished works
A Penguin’s Tale (stop motion movie)
News
Some Into the Phantasm content might be releasing soon, idk
I’ve started working on two other ideas that I’m hoping to make into fully fledged stories. I’m in really early development for now so I’ll just call them Project Kelly and Project Cosmic. Might post some art about them at some point, idk.
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maireyart · 19 days
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Hi, wanted to thank you for your contribution to the fandom. I deeply adore your arts and your artstyle. I love how it captures both edgy and goofy kind-hearted sides of Obito. Wanted to ask what are your dearest headcanons on Obito and how do you usually express them in the art
Aah thank you so much, anon!!! This message is so so so so so precious, my heart is melting 💖🥹
I don't know how I ended up drawing so many edgy or goofy Obito pics because initially I was attracted back into the fandom by everything white-haired Obito encompasses (a repentant criminal who reclaims his true self: regret, the power of personal CHOICES, ruthlessness directed at yourself, fiery determination and sternness, single-minded & dogged self-sacrificial tendencies, a kind of enlightened clarity, violent self-restoration, crawling out of hell, accepting reality and taking accountability for everything you possibly can, courageously FACING things, crushing the yoke of darkness, seeing some meaning again, never giving up on it again, never letting yourself lose the light in the heart again no matter what it takes--and in exaltation all of it is still a bit psychopathic and wild, but it's like a poison that cures, cures death itself - the death inside you, the sopor of your spirit). I can't call them headcanons, they are actually canon (and do I love canon!), but they are the dearest things to me, and some of them are reflected/explored in my doujins (long comics); somehow I consider only my doujins my "serious works" loaded with deep ideas/imagery. The rest is for pure entertainment and fandom fun. But I still express the listed things in the frequent >:-[ face expressions I draw on him xD thousand-yard stares, knitted eyebrows... At the same time he can finally laugh at himself again, and carve his new way with a lightness in his heart, like on my pfp, so he's smiling a lot in my pics.
*** As for some additional Obito headcanons that I have, there are few since canon has given me everything I've ever needed.
I like the idea of Joubito wearing red sometimes :3 I like the idea of Obito sealing some of his chakra into Kakashi when the latter was fighting Kaguya (like Minato sealed his and Kushina's into Naruto), and then, when Kakashi is Hokage, it activates in some situation and they meet again in Kakashi's headspace. They have a lot to talk about. No art about that. [nsfw] Sometimes I also kinda like to entertain the idea of canon Obito's Zetsu flesh not only ridding him of all human bodily processes like the need to drink, sleep or eat, but also of his libido (nothing human about him anymore), and it's fun to think about how in a post-canon AU, after the destruction of the Gedo Mazou, Zetsus and all other possible 'evil' things he can't have extra chakra anymore, and his normal human physicality gradually returns. And suddenly! He experiences something he last experienced when he was 13, and it's strange, embarrassing, long-forgotten. E.g. he has a stupid wet dream, and it's not an experience he welcomes now, but his body is so... alive now. As is his heart. He can't ignore his body as easily anymore. No art. I like the idea of the Sage teaching Obito in the next world more things about the chakra and then secretly sending him back to the world of the living to work on his karma a bit and do a few important things here and there (e.g. fix something in Ame), and no one knows, but he has to reveal himself to Hokage Kakashi at one point. I love the idea of them working together on something. No art. Just a doodle xD
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tryan-a-bex · 1 year
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Space Buns
Inspired by Art by @paprotkarotka (on Tumblr and Twitter). The art is included in the text!
It was a quiet Tuesday evening. Dream was attending to his duties, and Hob figured he’d better spend some time on his duties as well. Therefore, he was sitting in his usual spot at the New Inn, with his usual drink and his usual pen, grading papers, as usual. As he finally put down the last paper (with a sigh of relief), the door chimed and he glanced up. The new arrival was decidedly not the usual patron for the New Inn. For some reason, a little girl with pink hair in two little buns, accompanied by a large white dog, had just walked in. Hob signaled to his staff that he’d take care of it, and slowly approached as the little girl started intently around the pub. Her eyes locked on a back booth, where a cute couple were obviously absorbed in their romantic night out. This, Hob could already tell, was going to be interesting.
“Hey there!” he said, coming to rest at a safe distance, with his posture as non-threatening as possible. “Are those your parents?”
The little girl scowled at him for the interruption, then did a double-take and looked directly at him, intensely. Hob felt that her gaze was piercing to his very soul, so he was careful to focus on how very non-threatening and helpful he wanted to be.
“They left Anya behind!” she objected. “I wanted to see the kissy-kissy!” Hob swallowed a laugh, seeing how serious this was to her.
“You know,” he said, hunkering down to scratch behind the big dog’s ears, “most parents don’t really want their kids to watch them kissing.”
“Huh,” she sighed. “I know, but they are going to mess it up! They don’t get it!”
Hob was a bit confused by that, but figured he could go on to the next important point.
“Surely they left you with a babysitter, or some other adult?” Since the babysitter wasn’t in sight, he began to shepherd them toward a table near the door. No need to interrupt that gorgeous couple if the intended caretaker was about to walk in any moment.
“Franky is stupid.” The little girl was very definite about her opinion. Once again, Hob was very careful not to laugh at something that was so serious to her.
“Well, it so happens that I’m done my work for the evening, so if you want to sit with me for a bit until Franky gets here, we could do that. Would you like some water?”
“I like some hot chocolate. Do you have peanuts?”
“It so happens that we do!” Hob could tell he’d won a friend for life with that, as he signaled the bartender for a hot chocolate and some peanuts.
“I’m Hob,” he said as she settled into a chair, “and this is a very fine dog.” He smiled at the dog and petted it some more—it was very appreciative of the attention, its tail thumping the floor gently and its tongue hanging out in a big doggy smile.
“He is a good spy dog! His name is Bond. I am Anya,” the child volunteered.
Hob considered warning her not to give her name to strangers. She seemed very self-sufficient for a little one of her size. Suddenly a small hand fell on his head where he squatted beside the table.
“You are not strange, you are good. You have peanuts. Your hair is very soft and pretty.”
Hob almost choked on his laugh this time. It wasn’t every day someone other than Dream told him he had soft, pretty hair.
The bartender came by with their peanuts and hot chocolate, and considerately brought Hob’s drink and papers as well. Hob took a seat as Anya tucked in to her hot chocolate and peanuts. She polished them off in record time—not in hunger, but in enjoyment of a special treat. Then she started to wiggle and glance toward her parents again. They were sitting closer and closer, and Hob really hoped the babysitter would turn up before he had to ask them to get a room. In the meantime, though, he needed something to entertain their precocious daughter for a few more minutes. Maybe she liked to draw?
“Anya doesn’t like drawing. Anya’s not very good at it. Anya’s good at putting hair in buns. You should let me put your hair up.” Anya nodded decisively and began to dig in her pockets, while Hob took a minute to get his bearings. He wasn’t used to being ordered around by such a little one. It wouldn’t hurt, though, he supposed.
He took a seat on the floor by her chair, and Bond promptly put his head in Hob’s lap. As Hob gave him scritches again, he felt tiny hands descend on his head and begin stroking and pulling. It seemed like only a couple moments later that she had used the two elastics she’d pulled out of her pockets to hold his hair in two cute messy-man-space buns. He wondered if she always carried extra elastics in her pockets. It would make sense, he guessed, if she had to fix her own buns during the day.
“A spy is always prepared!” she proclaimed in a slightly ominous voice. Confused again, Hob glanced up at her.
At that very moment, the door banged open loudly. A frantic looking man ran in, looking around wildly until he suddenly spotted Anya. Ah, the babysitter, stupid Franky, Hob thought. Just as he noticed that Franky looked angry rather than worried, he realized that Anya had retreated behind him and Bond was standing and growing threateningly. How to manage this without interrupting the sexy parents? Hob wondered.
“Anya!” Franky yelled. Hob stepped around Bond and held his hands out warningly.
“Is there a problem here?” he asked, using all his de-escalation skills.
“That stupid kid ran off! I can’t get in trouble with the boss!” Franky exclaimed quietly, looking around and also spotting the couple in the back corner.
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Hob scowled at him and glanced toward Anya.
“Look, mate, I don’t want any trouble, but I’m having a hard time convincing myself to hand over a little girl to someone who not only lost her but now looks like he wants to hit her, and who she is looking pretty scared of.”
“What am I gonna tell the boss, though?” Franky whined.
They all glanced over at the boss’ table, where Anya’s parents had finally succumbed to the charms of the evening and were making out like teenagers.
“Kissy-kissy,” Anya sighed, with hearts in her eyes.
“Oh, God,” Franky grumbled, looking away.
Hob forgot to look away, he was so busy day-dreaming about his own lover.
At last, the two broke apart and sighed, as though a long battle was finally won. Coming to their senses and looking around, the woman suddenly snapped to her feet.
“Anya!” she yelled, vaulting over the table towards them.
“Franky!” the man shouted, as he stood and turned their way.
“I’m in for it now…” Franky moaned.
“Mama!” Anya exclaimed, reaching her arms up with a bright, happy smile. Mama swooped her up and turned to glare at Hob. He was struck by a jolt of fear like he hadn’t felt since the last time he was fighting for his life. This woman was dangerous!
“Hob is nice, Mama!” Anya said, putting her hand on her mama’s cheek. “He gave me peanuts and hot chocolate, and let me put his hair up!” The woman moved her glare to Hob‘s hair, and seeing the buns that matched her daughter’s, her face softened and she smiled shyly at Hob.
“Thank you for taking care of Anya! I’m Yor, her mama.”
“I can see that!” Hob said with a brilliant smile. This was someone he would be quite comfortable sending Anya home with. They obviously adored each other, and she seemed very capable (he was already starting to forget that she’d been utterly terrifying only a moment earlier).
The man now stretched his hand out to Hob.
“I’m Loid. Thank you for taking care of Anya.”
As Hob shook his hand, he leaned in to ask “May I speak with you for a moment?”
Loid turned aside with him as Yor and Anya left the New Inn, Bond at their side and Franky slinking behind.
“Loid,” Hob began, “I’m not sure how to tell you this. When Franky came in, Anya seemed scared of him. And when I told him off for scaring her, he seemed scared of you. I don’t know what’s going on with your family, and it’s none of my business. But if it wasn’t for how strong Yor is and the love between her and Anya, I’d be threatening to keep an eye on her. In fact, I may still check on her.”
Loid, though, had gotten stars in his eyes at the mention of Yor’s strength, and it took him a moment to gather his thoughts.
“Hm. Yes,” he responded at last. “I thank you again for your care of my family. I will take care of it. I will go easy on Franky, but perhaps I will keep him in his proper position instead of making him babysit. It’s not his area of expertise, and Anya is not the easiest child. I will make sure Yor and Anya visit you occasionally, so you know they are happy and safe. Hm. Perhaps you’d be willing to babysit again? The buns are quite cute.”
Hob sighed, but, to be honest, he was already looking forward to having space buns again some day.
Next, Anya meets Dream.
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mossthebogwitch · 2 months
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Hey!! For the fanfic writer emoji ask (sorry for the overload, I'm just so curious):
😅 ✨🙋‍♀️ 🛠💖 🦅 🎉
Please and thank you!
Thank you so much for the ask aahhh!! @thatfancygirlinblack
😅 What's a story or scene you've created that you're a smidge embarrassed exists?
Answer: Any and all. I am self conscious like most creative minds and to be honest in my history of writing or doing art making?
I'm average and I am at peace with that. I have had a long time to struggle with that, especially in my teens and early twenties. Now i am still embarassed  about everything but I post it anyway. I still have massive anxiety but that's just part of my life.
✨ Give you and your writing a compliment. Go on now. You know you deserve it. 😉
I have and always will be able to make things funny. I can make anything entertaining.
I can also write horror because comedy and horror interlap and interlace in surprising ways.
And smut I have many years experience writing smut.
🙋‍♀️ Do any irl people know you write fanfic?
I just told someone I work for about it tonight! Most of the people I work for, my boss, and my wife know I write. My family vaguely knows I ' write online' but no one has shown any interest in what I do.
🛠What tools/programs/apps do you use to write?
I'm stuck on my phone so if it isn't the notes app I'm in Google docs. Or I'm making a bad decision and I'm in the tumblr app.
💖 What made you start writing? : Honestly?
Childhood isolation. I wrote because I was always isolated. My first story I wrote when I was 9. It was about a set of raccoon siblings and a spunky possum and their quest to save their forest home from evil magic and deforestation.
After that I fell into drawing comics of friends interacting. I didn't have any so I just made up some to watch like a television show. Definitely normal. It was mostly illustrating jokes or nature facts but i did do some short story telling to pass the time.
That evolved into roleplaying on ye old Neopets which led to other sites etc. I have continued to write comics and have always had one in the works since I was around 10 but I have only seriously started dedicating myself to one. I hope to eventually have it up on the web in the next year.
🦅 Do you outline fics or fly by the seat of your pants?
Both surprisingly! I have an outline of things that will happen but as I go this will change or I will take new routes.
Sometimes entire scenes are added at the last minute because I find what I feel is insufficient character development or detailing.
I'm a stickler for both- honestly if I feel like I don't have enough development I get finicky. There has to be reasoning and detailing for things. In my brain things can't just BE. It has to be shown, inferred, or somewhere in there. Which may be a problem.
The gags: most of the gags or jokes come as I'm writing a serious part or metaphor.
Most of the serious parts are planned out before hand and placed strategically throughout to ensure story structure.
Everything needs a back bone. but to really make things hurt you have to remind people of the good things. The funny things. The tender moments and the things that make your story soft and real.
By soft I don't mean soft soft. By soft I mean human and relatable.
A story isn't sad if it's all angst and trauma. You have to show why that sadness matters and have it be relatable. Show what was lost or how it continues to impact them or what was taken etc.
It's not about shock and awe it's about invoking feeling and understanding. Empathy.
This is one of my favorite pieces of writing advice and one of my wife's favorite things of writing with me is this and my use of humor:
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🎉 What leads you to consider a fic a success?: if I publish it.  I published some fics in high-school back on fan fic dot net in the days of yore. I can't remember if those " did well" but if I post it then it is a success. It isn't decaying inside of me as a " could have would have should have."
If I even have one person laughing about troll socks then that is sufficient. And if that person is me?( it's not I see you Kíli squad) but let's say it is? Well I just beat off depression for 10 hours writing a fan fic and i was laughing so hard I was crying.
I haven't published that part yet.
I am thankful for the few folks i have in my corner. Who I will spoil.
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kaidousecoli · 2 years
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diary 8/4/2022
thought my period was going to stop then it peaked in the afternoon what the hell was it because i had diarrhea 2 times this morning/!?
in school, i hated it. i dont know why but i get boring vibes from my best friend/deskmate. it's like we have nothing funny to talk about anymore and she has more friends other than me so sometimes i think "why should i entertain her? she already has so many friends."
i feel like i follow her wherever she goes, even if it doesn't benefit me. am i her mindless sidekick, or someone who knows how to defend herself? i really dont know. im trying to see this from a third person view but i would only view myself as boring, emo and sometimes cheerful person. which is everyone in this world. it's hard to accept that you're someone normal who won't get noticed in a group of kids in uniforms and face masks that look, well.. uniform.
i say i like intellectual people, but now i think it meant laidback smart people who know when to give up on pleasure and work/study. that won't complain over minor things. sometimes people too eager to be number 1 ignore you by reading a textbook. i shouldn't restrict her from reading her book just because i want to talk to her, i didn't in real life. but i wish she would talk to me more. when we talk about art, i have the time of my life and laugh so much. but that happens only once per 3 days. the other days i feel bored as if i am stuck in a box. even though i have people on my left and right, i can't bring myself to talk to them.
why? arent you the self proclaimed extrovert, lol. i really wish for a change of seats. if this goes on... whatever i'll be friends with them eventually, i hope. the girl on my right looks scary and like my aunt and the one on my left is chubby and cute but the guy in front of her talks to her almost every minute. this is a friendship i want, but i can't force my best friend to stop pursuing knowledge, because she can't. the dude who was originally behind me was nice, but he swapped with another dude and i don't even know this new dude's interests. i'm overwhelmed right now. this is like free therapy i didn't even know i felt this way. i really want to sit next to liyeen.
okay rant over time for what happened in school (that i recall)
i really like art class. we went to the classroom for art for the first time today, we didn't even go last year. this teacher likes to give simple summaries and quizzes us. in the last portion of that class he said we could only leave if we answer his questions and that we need to raise our hand (and dont need to wait for him to appoint us we can just say immediately) at first i heard what he said but i didnt know if he was being serious so i waited for him. "apakah dalam dekorasi perahu?" then got like 5, and 3 people answered before me.
MY THOUGHT PROCESS: come on man, choose me i so tall u def can see me and i waving my arm... pls!! wait my best friend said the answer without being called by the teacher, i should do that do. should i? FUCK YES i want to go back to class.
BACK TO REALITY. *raises hand for 5 seconds* *doubts herself, shakes head* "CAAAPINGG!!!!" teacher turns his head around, "siapa cakap caping? kamu? ok boleh balik." AND I LINED UP !!!! and everyone was staring at me kinda. YES! best moment ever.
in science me and alishya sat opposite each other so we had a staring session and it was so cute i didn't feel pressured to stop at all. normally when pointless things happen like chats im not interested in or unfunny actions she did for the 6th time this week, i feel like i have to ignore her. not today though! i taught liyeen the correct way to draw a dichotomous key today.
after school i made my dad drive around the park and he stopped in an alleyway and said i could go down and take pictures of a beautiful tree shedding purple flowers. i posted them in my family groupchat on my dad's phone. i took a flower off the ground and put it next to a pottery piggy bank.
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canmom · 3 years
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i appreciate the jumbled up quality of tumblr; you never know what's going to be in the next post. serious but playful academic discussion of early capitalism? esoteric meme? incredible work of art? niche cartoon porn? treatise on perspective drawing? i am glad that you're all willing to stay here without knowing whether I'll be talking about federici or godzilla...
of course like all social media websites it's designed to channel the chaotic creativity of its users into a stream of Content in nice interchangeable measurable boxes that will keep people locked in to the place where the ads are; then sell that attention to the increasingly desperate players of the decaying wizard war, who have built a whole house of cards parasitic industry on the claim that they can provide the monarch gold opportunities to valorise their capital.
there's so much machinery now trying to hook into controlling people's desire. gacha games are probably the epitome, putting immense creative talent into, as far as capital is concerned, trying to build time consuming mind prisons for the sake of a minority who will spend vast quantities of disposable income on gambling for higher numbers/an ephemeral sense of 'ownership'. and this works well enough that like, most major releases are getting gambling features added, high profile anime are gacha adaptations...
perhaps this is not so different from cathedral builders commissioning artists. people will always want to create artworks, and the canny rich will recognise how much controlling the artists that can help them secure their rule. the current era though... it feels less like a functional self sustaining system of psychic control and more like a whalefall feeding frenzy; all these different players trying to jam themselves into your brain, trying out ever more esoteric strategies and absorbing more and more of the old capitalist industry into this futile self-directed game, and all weakening each other in the process.
and this all hooks into extractivism. all these technologies to try and grab attention and take control of desire depend on electronics manufacturing. for the sake of letting players grind their skill in a virtual mine, someone has to go down a real mine for rare earths; someone else has to build it. not that you can neatly separate these populations for the ones having their desires toyed with; for some reason this translated pamphlet stuck in my brain for showing shenzhen electronics workers going to an internet café to play LoL after work.
traditionally capitalism worked on a "double moulinet" where on the one hand you have money circulating through the reproduction of capital (finished goods are sold and used to buy materials and maintain machines) and on the other hand through the workers' social reproduction (wages are used to buy food electricity and clothes etc for the worker and everyone dependent on their wage including future workers) and these two circles come together at the moment of production; each one links up to other capitalist industries which work on the same principle.
one of the things the worker would spend money on would always have been entertainment products, including gambling, which would try to expand to suck up whatever money remained. so in a sense that's nothing new. what seems novel is... well, i don't have any figures to prove this, but it seems like a great deal more resources and effort are being expended on this gambling, and it has the odd side effect of trapping people who don't have disposable income to burn.
but it's like... thanks to the successes of technology, only a minority of the world's workers are now needed to meet everyone's need for food, water, shelter, and clothing, along with newer industries like 'white goods' that save domestic labour; yet this leaves a vast pool of capital that doesn't know what to do with itself, so in order to keep growing, it has ever more pressure to invent new needs and try to persuade people to want them. which means an intensification of the wizard war, since the flow of 'disposable' income doesn't really increase to match; and this leads to all sorts of bizarre extrusions as desperate dollars slosh around the world like a scattered host, all trying to find a way to keep growing.
i wonder how it will all end...
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saeyoungs-sunflower · 4 years
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yo!!! what are the rfas nighttime routines with mc?
Welcome back to another episode of ‘Sunny is drinking alone and decided to get her shit together and do some requests’ (I am a horrible influence, if you are under the drinking age please be responsible). Anywayyyy here ya go anon! I very well may read this back in the morning and edit it again but will let you know! <3
***
RFA nighttime routines with MC
Zen:
❤︎ Zen’s all about a pamper y’all
❤︎ he wants to stay looking fresh and healthy but bbygirl he also wants to make sure you’re well looked after
❤︎ is it even a nighttime routine if you don’t have an elaborate hour-long skincare regime?
❤︎ well yes Zen not everyone is as extra as you like you might as well be chewing gum
❤︎ if anyone actually gets that dumb joke then i am so sorry but also you get 10 points
❤︎ whilst i don’t imagine Zen to usually be that tired in the evenings, his muscles are always tired after a show/day of rehearsals
❤︎ so he would have a bath but he also gets home pretty late and doesn’t wanna faff around ya know?
❤︎ so shower it is
❤︎ oh you think that because he’s a grown ass man that he could be away from you for like 10 mins to shower on his own? well you thought wrong
❤︎ actual puppy
❤︎ sometimes it turns into ~sexy times~ but most of the time he just enjoys the intimacy/closeness and enjoys it when you take care of each other
❤︎ and boy when you shampoo his hair he literally turns to putty
❤︎ when you get out of the shower he L O V E S to do your hair
❤︎ king of braiding
❤︎ but he L O V E S it even more when you do his hair
❤︎ pretty sure you heard him purr once
❤︎ then he sneezed lmao
❤︎ you’re both pretty much out as soon as you get into bed but you always fall asleep in each others’ arms
❤︎ to conclude: nighttimes are about taking care of each other
Yoosung:
★ so this man FINALLY got his life together once you started dating
★ you helped him find his motivation and drive again so it’s actually a pretty production evening most of the time
★ your goal is to get everything done early on so you can relax properly later
★ soon as you both get home? homework/work straight away
★ you also try to make a habit of cooking dinner together every night
★ but you know how it is sometimes you just wanna order a takeaway and that’s chill too
★ do what you gotta do boo
★ once you’ve finished dinner aND DONE ALL THE WASHING UP (don’t you dare leave it until the morning Yoosung i see you), you play LOLOL together !!!!
★ he found that it was SO much more rewarding to play once everything he needed to do was done, and he didn’t have that horrible nagging guilt whilst he had down time
★ then all that’s left to do is get ready for bed !!
★ …
★ …Yoosung?
★ GO TO BED FOOL
★ “mC oNe MoRe gAme” “you said that an hour ago.” “i MeAn iT tHiS TiMe”
★ EVENTUALLY you drag him to bed but he’s always grateful when you do because he only realises how tired he is when his head hits the pillow
★ and he also gets  s n u g g l e s  so it’s always worth it
★ to conclude: nighttimes are productive but also relaxing
Jaehee:
☞ this poor woman works so hard
☞ even when she quits working for Jumin and you guys open the coffee shop, she still always pushes herself to the max
☞ ya girl gets tired
☞ so you know what that means
☞ BUBBLE BATH TIME
☞ some things only bubbles can heal
☞ wow what that’s so deep Sunny ah yes wasn’t it thank you Sunny aren’t i inspirational yes you are Sunny
☞ you two always go a but overboard with the bubbles lmao but this woman only deserves the best o K
☞ similarly to Yoosung’s, you guys like to get everything done that needs to be done before you relax, so once you get out of the bath you can do whatever ya want!!! how swell is that!!!!
☞ usually end up watching a movie/one of Zen’s musicals because why not hmm?
☞ Jaehee likes to get an early night, so y’all are all snuggled down and ready to sleep at a reasonable hour, ready for your shift in the morning
☞ on a serious note, this woman is pretty affection starved so you make it your MISSION to shower her with love before she falls asleep
☞ i’m talking kisses, cuddles, the whole shebang
☞ when you’re cuddling you like to have a good gossip about the RFA and all that and you always end up all giggly and it’s just the best
☞ to conclude: every night is like a teenage girly night in that she never got to experience
Jumin:
♚ although he doesn’t like to show it, he’s always exhausted after work
♚ he has a lot of pressure on him and he constantly has to be focussed and alert, so by the time he’s walking through the front door he’s running on very little energy
♚ therefore he appreciates a quiet night with the love of his life <3
♚ of course, every night you have a nice meal and a glass of wine W I N E and chat about your day
♚ Jumin has learnt to appreciate the smaller things in life after meeting you, so he adores listening to your voice as you talk about what you got up to that day during dinner
♚ you could be reading the phone book out loud for all he cared, he just loved listening to your voice
♚ he’s usually too mentally tired to do anything like reading in the evening, so most of the time you end up either watching a film or cuddling on the couch
♚ you have enlightened him to the concept of slouchy clothes
♚ yes, Jumin Han has learnt to appreciate joggers and a hoodies what about it?
♚ honestly just the sound of Elizabeth purring and your breathing is enough to bring his stress levels to 0
♚ he’s tried meditation, he’s tried mindfulness, but nothing was as healing as having you in his arms whilst you stroked his hair
♚ after you’ve done the essentials like showering and brushing your teeth and all that jazz, you get into bed and just talk
♚ normally you end up talking about your future, and he goes to sleep every night dreaming about the life you will have together, and then wakes up every morning excited to make that life a reality
♚ to conclude: nighttimes are for recovery and comfort
Saeyoung:
☀︎ honestly? every night is different lmao
☀︎ Saeyoung is a spontaneous guy, so no evening is the same when you’re with him
☀︎ which is amazing, because it keeps things exciting and fresh !!
☀︎ however, there are a few things that don’t change
☀︎ like fAMILY DINNER Y’ALL
☀︎ every. night. without. fail.
☀︎ it’s SO important to you guys that you have time to catch up with each other and make sure that Saeran feels a part of the family because sometimes he likes to hideaway and doesn’t know how to include himself
☀︎ so dinner time is the family bonding time, and then you go back to doing your own thing
☀︎ do you find brushing your teeth boring? do you wish you could make it more fun? do you have a energetic red-head in your life?
☀︎ well then LISTEN UP
☀︎ TEETH BRUSHING DANCE PARTY
☀︎ EVERY. DAMN. NIGHT.
☀︎ like is said, this man keeps you on your toes lmao
☀︎ is this a bathroom or a nightclub the world may never know
☀︎ did someone say cuddle monster??
☀︎ because that’s Saeyoung lol
☀︎ idek why but i always imagine Saeyoung to be very physically affectionate, and not necessarily in a ~sexy~ way
☀︎ he just really appreciates physical contact
☀︎ it grounds him and reassures him that you’re really there and really love him
☀︎ I AM SO IN LOVE WITH THIS MAN IT’S A HUGE PROBLEM
☀︎ to conclude: every night is exciting and spontaneous, there’s never a boring night with Saeyoung
V  / Jihyun:
❁ V is also a man that appreciates a quiet night in
❁ he’s had so much chaos and drama in his life, that quiet domesticity is utter bliss to him
❁ evenings are typically spent in a companionable silence whilst you do your own thing
❁ reading, drawing, whatever! there’s just something so comforting to him about being with you, without even needing to talk
❁ music has become an VERY important part of your lives
❁ we all know that Jihyun is a man who appreciates the arts, and music is no exception
❁ he’s had a stressful day? he’s feeling overwhelmed? put on some soothing music and you can actually see the tension melt away
❁ always trying out new recipes for dinner
❁ most of the time they turn out delicious, but some are just complete abominations i am so sorry
❁ but really? it doesn’t matter because you made them together and you had a good laugh about them
❁ one thing that you recently started doing was reading together in bed
❁ and i don’t mean reading two separate books oh no no no
❁ i’m talking the same book
❁ what a plot twist
❁ every night you take in turns to read out loud to each other
❁ it takes a while to get through book this way, but it also mean that you both appreciate every damn word because how could you not when they’re coming from the literal love of your life??
❁ to conclude: nighttimes are spent in quiet bliss
Saeran:
☽ every evening begins with a walk
☽ it’s a must
☽ Saeran just l o v e s nature, and it’s the perfect start to a relaxing evening
☽ Saeyoung picked up on the fact that you both like evenings to be a calm time, so when you two get home he tries not to be too crazy
☽ but we all know this bitch is out of control so it doesn’t last long lol
☽ Saeran secretly finds it so entertaining but bless he would never admit it
☽ Saeran finds a pleasure in the ordinary
☽ he has never experienced ‘normal’, so he finds so much comfort in everyday activities such as washing up, cooking, setting the table…things like that
☽ he hasn’t had much time to form his own hobbies/interests, and is still experimenting to find things that he enjoys
☽ so he loves watching you do your hobbies
☽ it really doesn’t matter what it is, he just finds watching you concentrate on something you care about so fascinating
☽ often you will offer to teach him and share your interests, and his face always lights up when you do so
☽ this precious boi i cry
☽ he just loves to learn i C R Y
☽ when it comes to showering and all that, he prefers to do that alone
☽ don’t get me wrong, he adores you and cherishes every moment he spends with you
☽ but he’s easily overwhelmed and needs time to himself
☽ it’s also important to him that he’s able to care for himself, so something as simple as washing his face on his own helps him feel like he has some control
☽ to conclude: nighttime is the time for self-care and exploration
***
Thank you so much for the request, anon! I hope these were what you were looking for. Have a wonderful day💛
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rhubarbbaby · 3 years
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Strawberries and Art 5
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Jihoon x Y/N
Genre: College AU, Fluff Word Count: 5k Summary: Like every passionate art student, you spent most of your time immersed in your drawings and paintings. The day you meet Jihoon, your everyday life suddenly gets a lot more exciting…
All chapters: 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5
Chapter 5
When Jihoon was younger he didn´t think teachers existed outside of school. It wasn´t a conscious thought, he just never took into consideration that teachers didn´t cease to exist whenever the bell rang. It had seemed as if his teachers simply started to be around whenever he entered a classroom. And as he sat there in his music class, having given up paying attention a while ago, he realized that he thought about you in the exact same way. You had so suddenly entered his life, he was having a hard time accepting that you actually were a real living human being.
Jihoon had never been much of a romantic. He had always thought of romance as a construct made up by the entertainment industry. He didn´t think badly of it, he just doubted that the kind of romance they portray in movies and books even existed. He didn´t long for it either. He had always been a realist. Love would come, or it wouldn´t. And suddenly there were you. You were just there, like you had just started existing. And he didn´t know if it was love. He didn´t even think about the word “love”. He hadn´t even wrapped his head around the fact that he maybe, only maybe might have a teeny tiny little crush on you. He just knew that he liked you. Really liked you. Talking to you was so easy and made him feel so light, in the most perfect way possible.
At lunch Jihoon sat with Hansol, who had grown a bit annoyed with him being zoned out. “Dude. What´s going on? I´m bored. Talk to me.” “I´m sorry.” Jihoon grumbled not even looking up from his plate to look at his friend. “Didn´t the date go well yesterday?” Only now Jihoon´s eyes met Hansol´s. “No. It went perfect.” “So?” “What so?” “Why aren´t you super happy?” Jihoon let out a small sigh. “I am. I´m just confused.” “What? How can you be confused about a perfect date?” “I´ve only known her for a few days and I think I already like her. It doesn´t make sense.” Hansol let out a hearty laugh. “Hey, it does make sense. It makes a lot of sense actually…you know when I met Jo I knew she would annoy the shit out of me. And holy shit she does, I swear if she talks one more time about that superhero guy with that metal arm…Beefy Barnett or whatever he´s called…I´ll have to kill her.” Anyone would´ve been able to read the loving smile that had formed on Hansol´s face, as much as he pretended to be annoyed by Jo he just couldn´t hide his fondness. “Anyways the point I was trying to make is that I knew she would be a pain in the ass but I also knew I liked her. I´m not saying it´s always like that or it has to be like that but I´m saying that yes it does make sense.” “Bucky Barnes.” Jihoon grinned. “What?” “That superhero guy. His name is Bucky Barnes.” “Oh my god. Not you too.”
It had been nice seeing Jihoon in the morning, even if it had only been for about 2.5 seconds. And even if you probably wouldn’t have liked to admit it, those 2.5 seconds were the only reason you had survived your morning classes. And that really says something because you even skipped art history which you admittedly did feel sort of bad about. The professor was always so disappointed seeing only so few students sitting in her class. That´s why you normally tried not to miss her classes but you just haven´t been able to get yourself to move out of bed this early today.  
You were on your way to the cafeteria when you realized it was Tuesday, which meant Jo didn´t have classes today. You groaned, knowing you would probably have to eat your lunch alone. You didn´t like eating alone in public. The exposedness of the situation, the feeling of being watched, yeah you could definitely pass on that one.
Jihoon´s eyes lit up when he saw you. You were standing next to the door that led to the cafeteria, the very same door he was about to walk through. As you looked down at your feet while letting some other students pass in front of him, he realized you hadn´t noticed him yet. “Hi.” He smiled. You looked up and for a tiny moment Jihoon thought he had seen your eyes sparkle when you recognized it was him. “Hi.” “You come here often?” Jihoon asked, his voice comically serious. “Oh my god,” you sighed. “That was really bad.” you weren´t able to hide the grin that had spread on your face.   “I´m sorry I´m sorry,” he held up his hands defensively, also smiling, “anyways…are you my homework?” “What?” the look of confusion on your face was priceless. “You definitely look like my homework…cause I´m not doing you when I should.” He winked. Your eyes widened at the realization of what he had just said - god you really were so innocent- and then you laughed. “That was even worse, Jihoon!” “You´re mean.” He pouted. “Also you don´t even need those bad pickup lines.” You giggled. “Oh?” he raised his eyebrows, a smug grin plastered on his face. “I don´t?” Immediately your mind wandered off to yesterday when he had buried his face in your pussy, giving you all those sickeningly sweet jolts of pleasure. “No. I don´t think you need those.” “And why is that, sweetie?” Your face had turned bright pink and you didn´t know what to answer. Why the fuck did he always have to tease you?? Your entire body had been filled with intrusive warmth and for a few seconds you were physically unable to say anything. You just felt so small under his gaze, his presence was overwhelming. “I mean…I already gave you a drawing of a hedgehog…that basically bonds us for life.” You stuttered. “Does it now?” Jihoon let out a hearty laugh “You really are so innocent aren´t you?” “I´m not innocent at all!” you tried to seem offended.   “You sure?” “Yes!” Raising his eyebrows again he responded: “Guess I´ll just have to find out huh?” When he saw you were getting flustered again he had mercy and changed the topic “No but seriously, thanks for the drawing. I know it’s simple but it‘s the most adorable thing. I love it.” “I‘m glad you like it.” You smiled softly. “Of course. Also you drawing that for me is one of the cutest things…”He didn‘t get to finish the sentence he had started because you had grabbed his jacket and had pulled him so that he was now standing in front of you, your back facing the wall. “Oh my god. I´m sorry but you have to hide me real quick.” Jihoon didn´t know what was going on but he could see the freaked out look on your face, so he leaned in closer as to shield you.  “I‘m so so sorry.” You let out a breathy giggle, still holding him by his jacket. “But behind you my art history professor just passed and I skipped her class today and I really didn´t want her to see me and I panicked and…” you let go of his jacket. “I´m sorry.”
Jihoon didn´t say anything for a moment, he was still processing what had just happened. But then a huge grin spread on his face. “You know, if you really wanted to be closer to me this bad you could´ve just asked.” “I swear it really was because of my professor.” You said trying to get yourself out of this awkward situation. Your heart was beating so so so fast. “So you don´t even wanna be close to me?” he asked and only now you realized how small the distance still was between your bodies. He was standing so close you could´ve counted all of his eyelashes. “I..that´s not what I meant.” You averted your gaze to the floor, not being able to keep looking into his eyes. “Look at me.” Surprised by his words you pulled up your view again. “You’re cute.“ Your cheeks flushed red and your mouth slightly agape you looked at him. He was smirking at you, knowing oh so well what effect he had on you. “And you’re mean.” You finally replied. He raised his eyebrows, grin still plastered on his face. “Mean? That’s not exactly what I would call a person who made me cum just yesterday.” “I…” Jihoon couldn’t help but laugh at your shocked face. “You sure you aren’t innocent, sweetie?” “I…” you buried your face in your hands “You really can’t stop teasing me, can you?” you finally muttered under your breath, voice way too quiet to sound confident. 
And then Jihoon took your face in his hand, his thumb caressing your cheek lightly. “Can you blame me? You really look so pretty when you blush.” He was smiling but his voice sounded so serious. “Haven’t we had this talk already?”, you giggled. “We most definitely have.” “Jihoon, you’re horrible.” “Y\N, you’re wonderful.” “You’re cheesy.” “You’re pretty.” “You need to stop.” You grinned. “And you need to accompany me to that party the music institute is having tomorrow.” “What’s in it for me?” You crossed your arms over your chest and acted as if you were actually thinking about saying no. “I’ll buy you a drink and you’ll get to spend some quality time with me, your local handsome music student who apparently is really good at eating pussy or so I’ve heard…” You slowly shook your head at his boldness, the smile never having left your face. “I’d absolutely love that.” You said. “I know.” He winked. “I’ll text you the details later. I’m already late to class.” “Oh my god, sorry I didn’t know you had class.” He smiled and then he leaned in and gave you a soft kiss on the cheek. “Being late for class because of a pretty girl? Totally worth it.” He smiled. “See you tomorrow!”
You hadn‘t managed to fully comprehend that you would be going to a party with Jihoon the next day, not until you got home in the afternoon and sank down onto your sofa. A smile spread itself across your face when you thought of how he had sounded so genuinely hopeful that you would say yes. You were so incredibly attracted to him, in definitely more ways than one, you hadn‘t even thought of saying no. You would‘t call yourself especially insecure or self conscious but you couldn‘t deny having some trouble realizing that this unearthly being of a man was actually attracted to you. It didn‘t make sense, he was this beautiful, funny, (too) cocky, sexy person and you were normal. But he hadn‘t been sure. He had been hopeful. So there were only two options; either he was just as captivated by you as you were by him, or he just didn‘t have a clue of how attractive he actually was (very unlikely because: cockytm).
Jihoon: hI Jihoon: *ho Jihoon: shit! lol Jihoon: Good afternoon. Jihoon: I actually wanted to message you earlier but I only got around to it now. Sorry :( So about that party tomorrow… You: Hii. Very smooth start to a conversation I must say.
He must have seen that you had already messaged back because for a second the typing... on the top of your chat turned into online.
Jihoon: I tried 😫 You: I can see. Lol Jihoon: You‘re making fun of me :( You: Maybe. Jihoon: you‘re gonna regret that. Jihoon: :) Jihoon: so anyways…about that party tomorrow… Jihoon: I can come pick you up at 7 if that‘s ok for you? You: sounds good! You: Do I have to wear something fancy? What party is this?? Jihoon: No you don‘t have to. It‘s just some annual party the music majors organize every year in honor of some famous composer. Jihoon: Don‘t ask me who the composer is. I forgot. You:  omg 😂 Jihoon: 🙄 Jihoon: So 7 is good? You: Yup.
It took you a bit of courage to send the next message.
You: Can‘t wait to see you again Jihoon: Goes both ways sweetie ;)
And then you were clinging to your phone like it was some incredibly valuable treasure (or a certain other person). You really could not wait.
Jo: Y/N!?!!?!??!??!?? Jo: You‘re coming to the party tomorrow??? Jo: Hansol told me Jihoon is taking you 🌚 You: 😳 You: He told Hansol about it… You: omg You: but yes I‘m coming…I guess you‘ll be there too. Jo: YES BITCG Jo: and of course he told Hansol about it. He‘s in love with you 😌 You: JO Jo: How was your lunch date yesterday? You: … Jo: Oh no was it bad? You: NO omg it was great Jo: oh Jo: OH 🌚 You: stop sending that emoji 😭 You: but yeah uhm we kissed and Jo: AND You: and then he kinda maybe gave me head on my kitchen table. Jo: you’re kidding You: I swear! Jo: He’s in love with you!!!!!!!! Jo: Also was it good? You: sooo good You: stop saying that I don’t even know what I’m feeling myself :( Jo: You don’t have to know yet tho. Just enjoy it. Jo: And I can’t wait to see you two together tomorrow. I bet y’all are adorable You: omg pls don’t make it weird LOL Jo: Let me rephrase that Jo: I am very looking forward to creepily stare at the two of you from across the room 🌚 You: omg
The next day you handed in your portrait assignment. You had put it in a green folder with your name neatly written on top. You were really happy with your end product and you most definitely didn’t regret having chosen Jihoon as your model. As your professor took the folder out of your hand she smiled: “You know whenever I see that folder of yours I always know it’s gonna be something good.“ “I…thank you so much. That means a lot.“ You stammered. With a friendly nod she averted her attention back to another student. And it was so weird, so utterly confusing that the first thing you thought of on your way home was how you couldn‘t wait to tell Jihoon about your encounter. How you couldn‘t wait to tell him how happy that had made you.
After having spent most of your afternoon on school work, you had forced yourself to quickly decide on an outfit you wanted to wear for tonight. You hated the idea of spending so much time just thinking about your clothes. You had chosen a skirt and a top you really liked, nothing special but you felt comfortable in it. You looked pretty but not as if you had spent much thought on how to do that (which you considered a big accomplishment). It was a few minutes before seven when you heard your phone buzz.
Jihoon: Heyy I’m outside :) You: I’ll be down in a sec!
He was standing on the sidewalk and he looked so casual so at ease, as if picking you up was something he did everyday. And fuck he looked hot. When he saw you walk out the door a puppy like smile spread across his face that broke the illusion of casualness. You couldn‘t help but reciprocate his exciting grin. Without hesitation you fell into each others arms. “Hi.“ he murmured against your hair while holding you. “Hi.“ “You know I’m really happy to see you again.“ “Goes both ways.“ You grinned which made him snicker. You slightly pulled yourself out of his embrace, you didn‘t want to wait any longer. You had been waiting the entire day to tell him. “You know I handed in my portrait assignment today.“ “And?“ he looked so excited. His eyes had actually lit up. “She hasn’t graded it yet but she said that she’s always happy seeing my folder because apparently it’s always good and I still can’t believe she actually said that.“ And then he laughed and there was no other thing to do for you other than to blush. You just stared at him in disbelief because what the hell was so funny. “I…I just…sorry but like of course she said that.“ he was still laughing “Y/N, I really don’t know much about art but even I, a fool, can see that you’re so fucking talented.“ You smiled “You really are a fool, Jihoon.“ “I compliment you and that’s your comment? I can’t believe it.“ He dramatically put his hand over his chest. “I had literally no other choice.“ You giggled. “But thank you so much.“  
As you were walking he told you of his day and how he had been writing a lot of songs lately. You were a rather introverted person, talking to someone, even being around other people could be very exhausting for you. You liked being alone, not necessarily because there were no other people around but because you didn’t need to explain yourself. It wasn’t that you thought you were so different or oh so special but you just had always felt a certain disconnect between the thoughts and feelings you wanted to express and what actually ended up coming out of your mouth…which could be exhausting. But then there were people who seemingly were able to pick up what you were trying to convey. Not just the general message of your words but all those tiny little nuances that you had always been hiding unintentionally in your language. Jihoon seemed to be one of those people.  Your conversation was not just question-answer-and saying things that were supposed to be said. It felt like you were having a monologue together. Your thoughts somehow intertwined, flowed into each other at the exact right time in the exact right places and that was just so fucking cool.
“Hey would it be ok if I held your hand?“ You giggled and turned your head to look at him. “Jihoon, you don‘t even have to ask.“ He took your slightly smaller hand into his and immediately interlaced your fingers. “I just wanted to ask because people are gonna see and they‘ll probably assume we‘re a couple and I don‘t want that to make you uncomfortable.“ You gave his hand a tight squeeze and smiled. “It won‘t.“
Jihoon had told you that they had rented the small concert hall for the party. When you got closer to the music building there were already a lot of (presumingly) students around. The doors to the hall were open and a lot of people were hanging out on the lawn in front of it. You had to stop yourself from laughing out loud when you watched a boy, who definitely wasn‘t 18 yet, throw up into a bush. It was only half past 7. “Poor kid.“ Jihoon stated without being able to hide the amusement in his voice. “You ever threw up before 8?“ you snickered. Your question was meant to be rhetorical. “I would like to exercise my right to remain silent.“ “Oh. My. God. You actually did.“ to accentuate your reaction you stopped walking and put your hands over your face. Mostly because you had a hard time hiding your laugh. You were standing at the edge of the lawn, still at a safe distance from the other party guests. “I didn‘t say anything!“ “I‘m shocked.“ “I know it‘s hard to imagine but there used to be a time where I was so nervous about talking to girls that I had to drink a lot and I mean A LOT of alcohol before doing so.“ he stated, a grin plastered on his face. “Awww Jihoon was actually scared of talking to girls.“ He let out a low chuckle and then he grabbed your hips roughly and pulled you into him. “I‘m not scared of talking to you right now though, am I?“ And holy fuck if that didn‘t make you nervous nothing else would but for some inexplicable reason you still managed to stutter out a response. “Maybe you‘re just good at hiding it.“ He looked at you, amusement still written on his face and it was so hard not to look away because his stare was so intense so intimate, you didn‘t know what to do with yourself. “God, you‘re killing me.“ You just smiled, too much in trance to say anything. His eyes wandered down to your mouth and only now were you realizing how you had been subconsciously biting your bottom lip. And fuck you were already waiting for the kiss, you swore you could already feel his lips on yours but… it didn‘t happen. Instead he pulled away slightly, leaving his hands on your hips. “You know, maybe you‘re right.“ he said and for a moment he seemed so incredibly vulnerable. “Huh?“ “Maybe, you do make me really nervous too.“ And then there was nothing left to do. Everything had stopped moving and there was nothing left to do. Nothing, except that one thing. And you really had no other choice because there was nothing. Only him and you. And then you took his face into your hands and kissed him. He returned it immediately, it was a soft, loving kiss, maybe even a bit innocent. “I‘m glad I can make you feel that way too.“ You released yourself from his grip and took a few steps backwards away from him. “Come on, let‘s join the others.“
There are several ways and techniques on how to draw attention to yourself. The classiest way, which would also have the benefit of not disturbing other people, would probably be to simply just wave in the direction of the person you wanted to get attention from. Jo however was not a classy person. “Hey! Y/N!“ Jo was literally jumping up and down while waving her arms. Hansol, who stood next to her, started to laugh and shake his head in disbelief. But one had to hand it to her, her method worked. You had immediately spotted her through the crowd. Jihoon turned his head to look at you, his voice oozing with sarcasm “I’m not sure but I think your friend might be looking for you.“ “I think you might me right.“ you giggled.
“I‘m so happy you are here!“ Jo stated before hugging you and Jihoon. “I agree. This one‘s kinda hard to deal with alone.“ Hansol said, pointing to Jo. Jo let out an overdramatic sigh and crossed her arms over her chest. “You‘re the worst.“ “I know.“ Hansol had pulled her into him and had given her a kiss on the top of her head, she scrunched up her nose in fake protest which in return had made Jihoon and you laugh. “I swear I have no clue how you deal with her on a daily basis. She is such a goblin.“ you said after having watched the scenario. “Finally someone who understands me!“ Hansol raised his arm to give you a high five, which you gladly reciprocated. “I really need some alcohol after this betrayal..“ Jo announced with a grin on her face.
You had expected to see more dancing, more drinking and more people getting fucked up but right now you were looking at a room full of students who were seemingly just chilling. Most of the chairs had been pushed to the side and a lot of people simply just sat on the floor, chatting with each other. Some students were dancing while some were standing next to the bluetooth speaker. They were probably arguing over the choice of music.  The four of you were standing next to the bar which really wasn‘t a bar. To be precise the so called bar consisted of one folding table and a lot of bottles of alcohol that were stacked on the floor. Jihoon was standing next to you, your sides had been touching the entire time. It felt good to be close to him in such a casual way even though it did make you nervous. “That’s too much orange juice!“ Jihoon tried to keep Hansol from pouring more of the juice into his cup. “Dude it‘s gonna taste like shit.“ “It‘s literally just gonna taste like alcohol.“ “Yeah! Which tastes like shit!“ “Oh my god you have the taste buds of a baby.“ “Yeah he does.“ Jo chimed in which earned her an offended look from Hansol. “Ok but Hansol is kinda right. Like alcohol really tastes awful.“ you decided to defend Hansol. “You‘re cute.“ You hadn‘t even realized yet that Jihoon‘s compliment had been meant for you when Hansol started to protest. “So when Y/N says alcohol is disgusting it‘s cute but when I do it I have the taste buds of a baby??“ “Nah you both have the taste buds of a baby but Y/N is just cuter than you.“ Jihoon grinned and grabbed you side to pull you into him. You thought you were losing your mind. The concept of Jihoon complimenting you was already a hard enough concept to grasp but now he was doing it in front of your friends? You were sure he would be the death of you sooner or later. “I‘m outraged.“ Hansol let out a laugh. He looked like he couldn‘t believe Jihoon‘s boldness either. “Aww poor baby. You‘re cute too.“ Jo had pulled Hansol‘s face down to her height to give him a kiss on the nose. “Thank you.“ he pouted.
“Hey Jihoon! Hansol!“ “Hi! I didn‘t know you were coming too, Seokmin!“ Jo greeted the taller one of the two guys who had just approached you. You didn‘t know them but you were sure you had seen them somewhere on campus before. “Me neither to be honest. But Seungkwan right here didn‘t want to go alone.“ You looked at Seokmin. He was a tall guy who, for a second had seemed somewhat serious and intimidating, but when his entire face broke into a beaming smile that illusion was quickly eliminated. He had actually turned into an overgrown puppy. After everyone had greeted each other Seokmin introduced his friend: “Seungkwan, that‘s Jo and this is…I‘m sorry I think we haven‘t met before. You‘re not a music student right?“ he was looking at you now. “No I‘m an art student. I‘m Y/N.“ “Very nice to meet you.“ the guy who was apparently named Seungkwan chimed in. At a first glance Seungkwan had appeared to be very average looking, only now as you were actually looking at him were you realizing how pretty he actually was. He looked like an actual disney prince. “Seungkwan, how have you been? Haven‘t seen you in so long.“ Jihoon had turned his head to Seungkwan. “Yeah I’ve been real busy with school but besides that I’m doing pretty well.“ The two of them fell into a casual conversation about their school work and you thought Seungkwan was mentioning something about a new project but you couldn‘t be entirely sure because your thoughts had drifted off after about 10 seconds into the conversation, which was of course no one‘s but Jihoon‘s fault. His hand was still resting on your waist as if it were the easiest, most casual, thing to do. Bystanders probably didn‘t even notice but you clearly felt his hand rest on your hip a tad bit too firmly for it to be normal. You were so so so close to him.  Your shirt had risen up just a tiny bit so his fingers were resting on your bare skin. You were already so hyperaware of his touch on your body you really thought you were losing your mind when he started to rub small circles into your side. You wanted nothing more than to be closer to him but you were already so so close and you were in public and he was literally having a conversation with someone right in front of your eyes. “Are you down for it too, Y/N?“ Seungkwan had mentioned your name. Oh no. You had no clue what he was talking about. “I‘m sorry, what did you say?“ you tried to save yourself. “We were talking about playing Seokmin‘s drinking game…“ “Yeah of course she‘s down for it.We’ll just get something to drink and then we’ll join you.“ Jihoon interrupted him. “Awesome!“ Seungkwan didn’t seem to question your lack of response. As Seungkwan was walking off to join Seokmin, Hansol and Jo for the ominous game you were about to play, Jihoon pulled you to the side. “Was I that much of a distraction to you sweetie?“ he was actually smirking. “I…“ you didn’t know what to say because fuck yes he had been that much of a distraction but you couldn’t just admit that even if you were aware that he already knew. “I didn‘t even do much.“ You were nervous again. You could feel your heart pounding in your chest and your entire body felt so hot. “You‘re just mean.“ you pouted. He let out a hearty laugh at your childish answer. “And you‘re just so innocent.“ “I‘m not.“ “You keep saying that but I just don‘t believe you, sweetie.“ He still had his hand on your hip and it felt like your skin was actually burning under his touch. You really didn‘t think you were brave enough but for some unapparent reason you managed to get your next words out of your mouth. “How can I prove it to you?“ He was surprised by your question, he had raised his eyebrows but his smirk had vanished a tiny bit. “Hey are y’all coming?“ Hansol’s voice had made both of you jump slightly. Jihoon slackened his grip on your waist and took a step back to lessen the tension between you. “We‘re on our way!“
“What even are we playing?“ you asked Jihoon as you were walking over. “If you would’ve paid attention you would know.“ he winked at you. You just rolled your eyes which made him chuckle. “It’s just some weird drinking game Seungkwan wanted to try for the longest of time. Apparently it’s a bit like truth or dare.“ “Oh, that sounds like fun.“ “It does. Maybe it‘s a chance for you to prove that you‘re not that innocent?“
Hi! It´s me, Jo. I´d like to thank you for reading my stuff! I really hope you enjoyed it. If you have any feedback, comments, requests, questions please let me know! 
Also I’m very sorry it took me so much longer to upload a new chapter than I originally thought. University has been more stressful than I predicted :( Oh and if you’d like to be added to the tag list just let me know :)
Tag list: @3sriracha​ 
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warrioreowynofrohan · 3 years
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Rhythm of War Review
PART 1
It feels a little separate from the rest of the book to me at the moment because I read it pre-release, but I think it did a good job setting up the rest of the plot. I greatly enjoyed Navani’s perspective and ideas throughout the book, and the first section established her much more firmly as a character than any of the previous books; her couple of chapters in Oathbringer were more focused on politics and her relationship with Dalinar, so it was great yo see much more of her scientific side.
When I first read Part 1 it felt very Kaladin-heavy, but after completing the book I see how it was necessary to establish his burnout in order to set up the rest of the plot. And Chapter 12 (A Way to Help), in addition to being our only chance in the book to see our trio together, did a great job setting up Kaladin’s later work with mentally ill people, both by establishing the need and showing what kind of help was needed. I was nonetheless quite frustrated by Kaladin reacting to Shallan’s DID with “that would be nice...”. She’s having serious problems, Kal! She’s your friend and could use support, not you regarding her issues as a neat way to take a holiday from one’s own brain! Kaladin’s very kind and caring with those he chooses to protect, as we see with Bridge 4 in TWOK and the mentally ill people in Chapter 25, but sometimes I think he’s not a very good friend. I know he was not in a good place, but in Oathbringer when they were in Shadesmar Shallan had just had a complete breakdown and she still went out of her way to emotionally support Kal, so it would be nice to see his friendships become a bit more two-way. (For similar reasons, I liked seeing the moments of Shallan-to-Adolin emotional support in Shadesmar in ROW, because a lot of their relationship in OB was her relying on him; it felt balanced in ROW as both supported each other.)
PART 2
I loved the Shadesmar arc! The emotional arcs for both main characters were very strong - I had been looking forward to seeing Adolin’s reaction to (in-universe) Oathbringer, and it did not disappoint; the conflict between genuinely loving Dalinar and being unable to forgive what he’d done was well-drawn. I was so pissed off at Dalinar in that last conversation! You burned his mom to death, you do not get to take the moral high ground and lecture him. And I do see a difference between killing innocents, as Taravangian does, and killing someone who’s effectively declared war on you and has a history of treason.
I also liked Adolin’s sense of being generally at sea with his purpose in the world. He’s been trained primarily as a warrior and general, and his combat skills have been made virtually obsolete by the Radiants. And at the same time, the reader can see what makes Adolin special, and it’s not combat skills - though those do give him a big heroic moment in a pinch - it’s his care and compassion for others. The way he interacts with Maya and slowly brings her life is absolutely beautiful. Chapter 35 was such a wonderful Shadolin moment (and starspren are amazing!); he really gets her and understands what she needs. Chapter 24 was sweet too, though super cheesy.
I spent the entire Shadesmar arc side-eying Veil and Radiant, especially with Veil’s takeover stunt at the start, but in the end they genuinely were supporting and helping Shallan. So in retrospect I do like scenes like the one with Veil trying to draw Shallan out by drawing Adolin badly.
Spoeking of drawing, I love the spren art, it’s some of the best art so far, and fascianting to see how they all look!
Kaladin finding non-violent ways to protect, culminating in pioneering Rosharan therapy - and Teft insisting on staying to support him - was everything I wanted for him. His arc could have just been that, and I’d have been perfectly happy. Chapter 25 (Devotary of Mercy) is still my favourite in the entire book.
Unfortunately, then Odium’s forces had to show up and SPOIL EVERYTHING. I’m rather appalled by how quickly Urithiru fell - the enemy forces were literally in the pillar room by the time anyone noticed them.
PART 3
Part 3 was a real slog for me, partly because it is a slog and partly because I hit it at the height of my sleep deptivation. (It’s really...not a good thing to be reading on zero sleep at the literal darkest-hour-before-dawn.) Kaladin’s arc in Urithiru is just so exhausting; he’s so clearly worn to the boneand everything feels so hopeless. Kaladin’s had bad times before - Bridge 4 in TWOK, for example - but then the reader could see progress even if Kaladin couldn’t. (Kaladin: I’m getting nowhere and failing at everything! Everyone else: Kaladin, you were literally just miraculously resurrected.) Here, though - well, I genuinely spent the whole book from Part 3 through to the climax thinking that they would lose Urithiru.
Navani’s arc, and Venli’s, I did enjoy.
The other section of Part 3, in Emul, just felt rather disjointed. It had some interesting moments, but it didn’t have a sense of cohesion or of where it was going. I was entertained by Dalinar’s musings on the merits of despositism and the need to free Queen Fen from having - horrors! - a parliament. (I wonder if the Fourth Ideal will be something like “I will recognize that it can sometimes be beneficial to have people oppose my decisions.”)
PART 4
Again, adored the Shadesmar arc. Really strong character arcs for both Adolin and Shallan, combined with excellent plots and a strong sense of momentum. I was pretty sure Maya would be crucial in the trial, but that didn’t make the moment any less powerful (though Sanders probably shouldn’t have tried quite as hard to replicate his “You. Cannot. Have. My. Pain.” moment from Oathbringer). I need to put together a proper post on the theme of choice in Oathbringer, because that moment - combined with Kaladin’s fourth ideal and the conflict with Lirin over the way he’s inspiring the resistance - really crystallized it for me. To treat a person’s choice and sacrifices as something done to them is to devalue their volition, their agency. Maya is put in the horrifying situation of being used as a prop and treated as evidence of a point that she is diametrically opposed to and turned into a weapon against someone she loves, and it’s enough to drive her to regain her voice and speak for herself. I am very curious to know what specifically led the spren to agree to the Recreance!
I did not remotely guess what Shallan’s secret was, even though in retrospect the Cryptic deadeye should have made it incredibly obvious. I think her fear that she’d lose Adolin if it came out was overblown - he already knows she killed both her parents, he’s not going to be fazed by “I was so distraught over having to kill my own mother in self-defence at age ten that I broke my Radiant oaths”. But obviously it’s not something Shalkan would be able to consider duspassionately. Her arc was rather terrifying once I realized that Formless was, well, basically her, but more specifically, Shallan’s idea of the monster that she was, and her breakdown was driving her to “accept who she was” as being that monster. I like Shallan and was never that into Veil - though she was fairly good in this book and went out well - so I’m not sad to see the back of her.
I haven’t managed to work through all the espionage/mole elements. Yes, Pattern used the box to talk to Wit, and Radiant killed Ialai so Shallan wouldn’t, but who’s Mraize’s spy close to Dalinar?
This arc ended too abruptly. I think Sanderson could easily have traded a Kaladin chapter in Part 3 for an extra chapter wrapping up events in Shadesmar; maybe one where Shallan first goes to see Testament.
I enjoyed the Urithiru arc in Part 4 as well. Switching to Bridge 4 points of view other than Kaladin was a good move - we already know he’s worn to ribbons, so we don’t need to be inside his head to see it. “The Dog and the Dragon” was amazing, and the most appropriate story ever for Kaladin. (I get how Wit’s schtick of telling incredibly topical stories and then saying “no, I don’t have a point, what point?” would be really aggravating in person.) It was nice to see him be gentle with Kaladin for a change, the way he is with Shallan - his two previous encounters with Kaladin read as rather baiting, which annoyed me.
Dabbid was - I don’t know quite how to say this, but his inclusion struck an amazing balance in this book. Navani’s arc is all about two amazingly smart people doing science and making incredible breakthroughs, and that is sincerely valued and given importance by the narrative, and then you get chapters like Dabbid’s and one of Taravangian’s emphasizing that a person’s value and ability to contribute is not determined by their intelligence.
Navani’s arc continued to be excellent. All of her research, and the way the story took you through the process, and her complex relationship with Raboniel, was great.
I loved Venli’s character development, and growing willingness to take risks for the sake of others. To me, her arc parallels Dalinar’s in the last book in some ways. If we can love the story of a bloodthirsty conqueror growing to become a good person, why can’t we equally love the story of a coward coming to become a good person? There seems to be a tendency to be more drawn to strength, even in its most terrible forms, than to weakness. To me, Venli’s confession to Rlain and acceptance of his disgust at her was one of the book’s great moments. (And I can’t understand people saying her arc took up two much space. She had 5 chapters in Part 3, and 4 in Part 4. That’s not very many! I’ll grant that the flasbacks packed less punch than some earlier flashback sequences because we already knew the main events - Brandon acknowledged that even before the book came out - but I still liked them well enough, and Venli’s present-day arc was excellent.)
Anyway, the amount of space I’ve spent on this section relative to Part 3 is another strong inducation of the differences in how I feel about them!
PART 5
I should probably start this section with a discussion of Moash. I’ll try to keep it summarized. here - I could, and may, write a short essay on his development through The Stormlight Archive. The first thing that jumps out about Moash’s arc in this book is his reaction to Renarin’s vision in Part 1. I think that vision is showing Moash who he could still be, in a similar way to Shallan’s inspirational drawings of people - both use the Surge of Illumination. So it’s not that Moash is irredeemable; Renarin is specifucally holding out to him the possibility of redemption.
And Moash’s reaction is to run away in terror. Because he desperately wants his decision to be irrevocable. He desperately wants there to only be one possible path forward for him. Because if there are alternative paths, it means he can choose them, and that would mean facing guilt, facing the fact that his past choices were wrong, and his current choices are wrong. And that is exactly what Moash sought to avoid by giving up his pain and sense of guilt to Odium.
Moash is, nonetheless, very much Moash and not Vyre, as evidenced by his continuing obsession with Kaladin. As with his above need to not be wrong, here he needs to feel that he’s right, and the only way he can feel that he’s right is if Kaladin - whom he still deeply admires - makes the same decision as him, and if Moash can convince himself that he’s doing Kaladin a favour in driving him to that point. It’s ironic that he’s given up almost all feeling abd become almost enturely detached, but his worst actions are driven by his attitude towards the one person in the world who he still does have very strong feelings about. By the end of the book, he’s comprehensively broken, to the point that even when his ability to feel is restored he’s unable to even feel genuine remose over the cold-blooded murder of a friend. I don’t know where he’ll go from here - it would be ironic if he was only ever really appealing to Rayse-Odium, and Taravangian-Odium found Moash too much of a flat villain for his purposes and cast him off.
As the plot climaxes go, I thought the ones for Navani and Venli were excellent and very satisfying. I enjoyed Kaladin’s as well and found it cathartic, but it a was moment we all knew had to come, so it didn’t have quite the kick of some of Kaladin’s other big moments. I did love his reconciliation with Lirin. One of the themes of the book was finding common ground despite deeply felt disagreements - with Navani and Raboniel, with Navani and the Sibling, and with humans and singers/Fused more generally - and Kaladin and Lirin’s reconciliation fit well with that. I am far more favourable to Lirin than most people - if you’ve lived as a pacifist in storming Alethkar, which values the lives of its people slightly more than it does crem, you’re going to have been right a solid 95% of the time, where everyone else was wrong. I can make allowances for the other five percent, especially when Lirin’s life lesson from the last five or so years has been “resisting oppression and standing up for what you believe in will destroy everyone you love”.
And on the topic of finding common ground, Leshwi’s reaction to the revelation that Venli was a Radiant was one of the single most beautiful moments of the book, and one of my absolute favourites. It’s gorgeous and moving, and at the same time rather tragic, because - what might have bern different if Venli had revealed herself to Leshwi at the start of the book? How much of the conflict could have been avoided. Singers don’t appear to attract spren as strongly as humans do, which makes Leshwi drawing joyspren particularly powerful. And then the bittersweet note from “My soul is too long owned by someone else”. (Come to think of it, this is another inverted paralell to Moash. This is someone realizing “I was wrong about everything and I’m so glad about that because it means I have a chance to be someone better than I was.”) Oh my goodness, I would love a Leshwi chapter in a later book, just to check in on her and see how she’s doing in her new life with the Singers.
I also loved the climax of Navani’s arc, and was so relieved, because up until that very moment I wasn’t sure if the Sibling would survuve uncorrupted. I know that some people weren’t pleased because the Sibling didn’t even like her, but to me that became a core part of the story, like I said above - people who deeply disagree finding common ground and common cause. That is a key element of being a Bondsmith - the process of bringing people together in spite of their differences - and something that fits Navani so well given the rapport she found with Raboniel. (Though I was conflicted about the latter. On the one hand, she made amazing discoveries that enabled her to save Urithiru. One the other hand, she...kind of collaborated with the enemy and gave them terrible weapons out of intellectual curiosity and a desire to prove herself?) I will grant that it makes the series, and the characters with the most crucial importance to Roshar, rather Kholin-heavy.
For Taravodium, all I can say is - YIPES. I have no idea how to process the implications of that, but I feel like it will be bad. Really really bad. (Taravangian is probably my least favourite character in the entire Stormlight Archive. The attitude of “I am so brave and selfless for doing evil things and look at how wonderful I am for sacrificing my own morality for the benefit of all, you petty selfish people wanting to be good could never make such a grand sacrifice” drives me absolutely nuts. It’s a complete inversion and twisting of morality, and intensely arrogant.)
Dalinar’s encounter with Ishar was fascinating, and I’m very curious to see where this goes. The spren experiments were deeply creepy! And the way Radiant Oaths can temporarily restore a Herald’s sanity was fascinating - I’m very eager to see where this goes in the next book. I suspect that Dalinar may have made a very serious mistake with regards to this trial my combat, and I have no idea how/if they’re going to fit Szeth’s whole arc into the ten days before the duel. I’ve been eagerly anticipating Szeth’s arc ever since The Way of Kings!
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lawrenceop · 3 years
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HOMILY for the 4th Sunday per annum (B)
Deut 18:15-20; Ps 94; 1 Cor 7:32-35; Mark 1:21-28
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There are two reactions to Jesus Christ and his actions in today’s Gospel. The first reaction is astonishment and amazement. We’re not told if Jesus’s teaching and Jesus’s work of exorcism had any effect on the lives of the crowds of on-lookers, but they enjoyed the spectacle, they marvelled at what was said and done, they admired him, and they talked about Jesus so that he became famous throughout the region of Galilee. But Jesus didn’t seem to have any impact on them personally – he didn’t change their lives because we’re not told that anyone followed him. So, the first reaction is superficial entertainment, and there is the danger in our own time too that we can hear the Gospel; we can read about Jesus and maybe know some theology; and we might see Christian art about Christ and the Saints or view beautiful liturgy in church or online, but all these will only move us superficially. That is to say, we’re amazed, astonished even, or its therapeutic, but we remain spectators, unmotivated to change our ways, to “repent and believe” as Jesus declared at the start of St Mark’s Gospel.  
The second reaction is the other extreme: the unclean spirit that is cast out of the man knows full well who Jesus is, and so he believes and is forced to obey, but he will not repent because he fears that to repent, and so to willingly change his ways and to follow Jesus would destroy him. So there are also some people today who are afraid to think about the demands of the Gospel, who fear examining their conscience and having to changing their lives in order to follow Jesus with integrity. Why? Because to do so would ‘destroy’ our lives as we know it! For we would have to abandon our sins; do away with bad habits that have become so used to that we can’t imagine ourselves without them; we would have to repent and change. And this just seems like too much effort, too risky, too frightening. And so, the Gospel and Christ himself is seen as a threat to our current lifestyle, and so, like the demon, we can think that Jesus has come to “destroy us” and make us religious ‘extremists’. 
The retired Archbishop of Lancaster, Bishop Patrick O’Donohue, who had been auxiliary bishop in our diocese of Westminster died in this past week, and I am reminded of the comment made in 2008 by the chairman of a parliamentary cross-party who did not like Bishop O’Donohue’s guidelines for Catholic education. He was told that “faith education works all right as long as people are not that serious about their faith”. In other words, because our contemporary society, like the demon, fears the serious changes and repentance of heart demanded by Christ, so the best thing that can be done is to neutralise the Gospel and render it ineffectual, by not taking it too seriously, so that we should all effectively behave like the crowds and just look on in astonishment and gossipy admiration.  
But there is a third reaction. As the psalm response today says: “O that today you would listen to his voice! ‘Harden not your hearts.’” If we allow the Word of God to penetrate our hearts today – every day, in fact – and so to soften it with the grace of the Holy Spirit, what will happen? The example of countless Christians and saints down the ages, beginning with the apostles themselves, and coming down to our present time shows us the extent to which the Holy Spirit can work in our lives, to give rise to self-giving lives of charity. 
In the reading today from St Paul’s first letter to the Corinthians we find the origin of the ancient Christian practice of celibacy, a powerful sign of the total gift of oneself to Christ and to following him totally. St Paul himself, following the example of our Lord Jesus Christ, was unmarried so that he could devote his life to preaching the Gospel. This, then, is another reaction to the coming of Christ into our lives: there is a total consecration, a total gift of oneself, in heart, mind, soul, and body, to following Jesus. As Pope St Paul VI wrote, drawing on the teaching of the Second Vatican Council, the celibate life is a “new way, in which the human creature adheres wholly and directly to the Lord, and is concerned only with Him and with His affairs; thus, he manifests in a clearer and more complete way the profoundly transforming reality of the New Testament… it signifies a love without reservations; it stimulates [persons] to [embrace] a charity which is open to all.” So, the third reaction, a genuine response to the teaching and work of Christ, transforms our realities. Christ, who is God’s living Word made flesh, changes our lives, and elevates how we see and relate to the reality of life as it is now, a life that St Paul VI says would be “wholly dedicated to pondering and seeking the new and delightful realities of God's kingdom.”
The grace of celibacy, of course, is a very particular way of responding to the Gospel’s call to listen to Christ’s voice, to harden not our hearts, and to follow him. And many people run away from this call, and the world completely misunderstands it or finds it impossible. And some people have failed spectacularly in living up to this vocation. And yet, none of this should be an excuse for us today to harden our hearts to Christ or to allow our fear to paralyse us. 
Hence Pope Benedict XVI says: “Are we not perhaps all afraid in some way? If we let Christ enter fully into our lives, if we open ourselves totally to him, are we not afraid that He might take something away from us? Are we not perhaps afraid to give up something significant, something unique, something that makes life so beautiful? Do we not then risk ending up diminished and deprived of our freedom?… 
No! If we let Christ into our lives, we lose nothing, nothing, absolutely nothing of what makes life free, beautiful and great. No! Only in this friendship are the doors of life opened wide. Only in this friendship is the great potential of human existence truly revealed. Only in this friendship do we experience beauty and liberation. And so, today, with great strength and great conviction, on the basis of long personal experience of life, I say to you… : Do not be afraid of Christ! He takes nothing away, and he gives you everything. When we give ourselves to him, we receive a hundredfold in return. Yes, open, open wide the doors to Christ – and you will find true life. Amen”.
So, today, if you should hear his voice, listen, and harden not your hearts. All of us as Christians, whether called to celibacy or not, are called to give ourselves, our lives to him; called to deep friendship with him; called to enter, without fear, into the deep joy of knowing and loving God. For this is the reason Christ has become Man, and dwelt among us: God has given himself to us so that we can open wide the doors of our hearts and our lives to him; so that we’re no longer just spectators of God’s glory but participants and partakers of divine life. 
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Survey #354
“swimming through the void, we hear the word  /  we lose ourselves, but we find it all”
The last time you washed your hair, did you use conditioner? I never do. My hair is naturally pretty oily, and conditioner just adds oil to it. Do you prefer light or dark jeans? Dark. I never liked light-hued jeans. When you listen to music, do you generally sing along, or just listen? I almost always just listen. Do you have any of your exes as friends on Facebook? Yes. Who was your first love? Do you ever miss that person? My first "real" boyfriend. I always do to varying degrees. How many cars are parked at your house right now? Just one. Do you have any Italian ancestry? No. Do you prefer water to be ice cold or at room temperature? The colder, the absolute better. I can barely stomach drinking water that isn't cold, like literally. Has anyone ever told you you’re a control freak? No. Do you know anyone who has gone missing? If so, were they ever found? I don't think so, anyway. What was the spiciest thing you’ve ever eaten? A certain hot sauce on the wings I used to get at Buffalo Wild Wings. It was close to the top of their little heat rating thing. It made me feel awful, and yet I enjoyed it still?? I think it was an adrenaline thing. I only get medium sauce now; I'm more interested in enjoying my food than feeling like I'm eating fire. Do you need to talk to someone? I'm ready for my therapy appointment honestly, but it's not 'til the start of June. Mom and I both don't want to go through the process of finding a new one, so I've chosen to just suck it up and wait. Is something confusing you at the moment? I'm always confused with myself and my feelings. When was the last time you had a real deep chat? Real deep, I'm sure that would've been during PHP. Who did you last see on webcam? My former group therapist. I miss him a lot and really wish he could treat me outside of the program, but he doesn't do that. :/ What’s your best friend’s pet’s name(s)? Doris, Martha, Crowley, Little Dot, Jane Marie, Buster, Beesly, Winter, and I believe only one of the fish is named: Raisha. Have you ever taken a picture while laying in the grass? No. Who’s your favorite Disney character? Dory, probably. Have you ever deliberately tried to get someone drunk? What the fuck, no. When was the last time you used a pay phone and who were you calling? I've never used one. Do you like being kissed on the neck? Whoa now buddy, we better be kind of serious by then for you to do that because it doesn't end "well" lmao. Have you ever had sex with someone you weren’t dating (but had feelings for) in the hopes that they would ask you out later? I almost deleted this question because I didn't want to answer it, but I try to leave more unique ones in, so... whatever. I haven't. But I would for "somebody." What’s the most you would be willing to spend on a good bra? Ugh, my relationship with bras is a hellish one because NONE FUCKING FIT ME CORRECTLY. Mom's tried so, so many places, so many different stores online and in-person, and even if the bra fits in the front, it won't go around my back comfortably. I guess my body is shaped weird, I don't fucking know, because I have literally ZERO bras that don't aggravate me. At some point, I'm going to some woman Mom knows who can size me properly and therefore buy some that don't piss me off. All that to say I'd actually pay more than the usual, but not a ridiculous price. Do you have any of your teachers’ personal cell phone numbers saved in your contacts list? My old Physical Science teacher, who is actually now a very close family friend and our landlord, is in my phone. Do you ever stalk peoples’ personal blogs, even if you don’t know them very well? No. What’s one thing about today’s generation that you just can’t stand? How ungrateful they can be. Be honest: how do you feel about abortion? I am pro-choice. Is there anyone you currently want to reach out to? There's a lot of people, actually. Old friends I miss. What is your favorite piece of art you own? It... sounds cocky, but it's probably the drawing I did in high school of Pyramid Head and the Halo of the Sun intertwined. I worked my fucking ass off and I'm extremely proud of it. What’s the one thing you apologized for this month? Hm. Probably just something minor, like bumping into Mom or something when passing her. My favorite color is ______? Pink, specifically pastel pink. I wish I had _____? A job. What did you buy today? Nothing. What has challenged your morals? Life, my dude. Live and learn. What made you pick up the last book you started reading? It's the sequel to the last book I read. What about your life concerns you the most? Concerns me, my physical health, especially just how weak my legs are. I'm terrified of them continuing to deteriorate. What do you find particularly offensive? Would you say you’re easy or difficult to offend? I cannot fucking stand the misuse of the word "retarded." Like just keep your damn mouth sewn shut if you have the audacity to say things like "hurr hurr this driver is retarded." ANY mental illness/condition is NOT to be mocked. Onto the next question, I'd say I'm more towards difficult to offend. It really depends on the topic. What was the last series you finished watching? Do you have any plans to begin another? I re-watched Fullmetal Alchemist w/ Sara. We're working on Avatar: The Last Airbender too, but I won't resume watching it again until we can do it together. What is one way in which you are different from a year ago? What is one way in which you are still the same? Well, I weigh a lot more. .-. I gained back almost all the weight I shed since quarantine started, and I'm forever fucking furious about it. I'm the same in most other ways. If you could learn about anything without the stress of grades or cost, what kind of classes would you take? Uhhhhh meerkat behavior? Idk. Name a song you’ve listened to today? I've got Halocene, Lauren Babic, and Violet Orlandi's cover of "Aerials" by System of a Down on loop right now. It's fucking gorgeous and so mesmerizing. When you were younger, did you have a swing set or a playhouse in your backyard? We had a small playhouse with swings and a slide. Is your mall nice? GOD no. You better accept the possibility of getting shot before you walk in there. There's nothing that cool at all there. Do you have a Sonic near you? If so, what’s your favorite drink from there? Yeah. I love the strawberry slushy, and the Reese's Blast thing if KILLER. Will you be voting in the presidential elections next time around? Yes. How do you feel about chocolate-covered strawberries? GOOD. STUFF. Did you ever stop having feelings for someone and then started having those feelings again for them? I think so. Do you hate the last guy you had a thing with? No, he's my closest guy friend. To whom did you last give the finger? Probably some idiot that ran a red light. I'm sure it happened in the car, whenever it happened What was the last musical instrument played in your presence? I've got no clue. Do you like sprinkles on your ice cream? No, I hate the texture difference. And just sprinkles in general. Honestly, have you ever crashed a party before? No. Do you know how to do the moon walk? No. Has anybody ever told you that you have a good singing voice? Yeah, but I beg to differ. Onion rings or french fries? French fries. I'm not a big fan of the other. Has anybody ever described you as a heart breaker? Nope. Has anybody ever told you that you talk too fast? When I'm excited, yes, it happens sometimes. Who is the best cook that you know? Uhhhhh idk. Which meal throughout the day do you skip the most? I don't really skip meals. What’s the largest amount that you can juggle at one time? I can’t juggle at all. What was your favorite thing to go on at the playground as a kid? Swings. I'd dash to those at recess to try to actually get one. Do you know how much you weighed at birth? How much? All I know is six pounds, no clue on the ounces. Which aspect of your daily routine takes the most time? What do you do? Sitting my ass at the computer, really... I don't exactly do much. Do you enjoy buying gifts for others, or could you do without this? It feels sucky of me considering whenever I do get someone a gift, it's because Mom is letting me use her money with me being without an income, BUT I still do LOVE the process of thinking of something meaningful for those important to me and hopefully seeing them love whatever I got them. I cannot wait until I actually can do that regularly. What is one thing you are expected to do, if anything? Take care of my pets. How do you tend to view driving? Monotonous or entertaining? I hate driving because you're in a speeding box of death, man. I do really want to start working towards my license though; I've long since reached the "enough is enough" point. But first I need new glasses so I can actually see five feet in front of me. Do you enjoy talking about music with others? Yeah! Is acting something you enjoy? No. I'm too awkward about it. When do you feel most accomplished? When I finish a big art pierce. Do you think Manwich is amazing or completely gross? I like 'em. Just messy, which I'm not a fan of. How many best friends do you have? One. Are you a smoker, drinker, pothead or none of the above? None of the above. If you have your ears pierced, when did you get them pierced? I don't remember exactly, but I was a kid. Do you own any exercise machines? No. I wish. On Facebook, do you have people listed as your siblings who aren’t really your siblings? Nah, but I used to do that. Have you ever drawn or painted a self-portrait? Painted, but only because it was a school assignment. Who was your last voicemail from? I don't get voicemails because mine isn't even set up. Have you ever been falsely accused of something serious? No. Did you ever set up a lemonade stand when you were a kid? No. When was the last time you spoke to someone in a different language? Not since I was taking a test in high school for my German course. My teacher was a Germany native, so she was a total pro and fun to learn from. Have you ever received an anonymous gift? No. Have you ever camped out somewhere for an event the next day? No. That's always sounded miserable to me. When were you the saddest in your life? 2016 was fucking miserable. Do you know anyone, personally, who is in an abusive relationship? Are you? I don't know if it's abusive, but it's toxic and dysfunctional as HELL. I don't know WHY she keeps going back to him, I feel awful for the woman. I'm definitely not, 'cuz I wouldn't tolerate that shit for half a second. If you have siblings, have they moved out or do they still live with you? They've both moved out by now. Have you ever gotten searched by the cops? Yes, as a safety protocol with mental illness stuff. Do you like fried rice? Yes. What was the last thing you drank? Would you believe me if I told you I have water right now?
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yuraimi-lee-bunny · 4 years
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Let's get to the point first and then I'll give the important details:
Because of rude and intolerant comments of directly and indirectly way from LiS fandom here in Tumblr (only intolerant and abusive fans of Pricefield and Chloe) I fell into depression for a year and a half
I met the game on February 6, 2015. I immediately loved the game. I could only watch Gameplays. At the same time I was about to finish my Visual Arts career. I was specializing in Illustration and creation, development and character analysis (theory and practice)
At the beginning (between Ep.1 and Ep.3) Pricefield was causing me some pleasure but I also liked Warren, although I defended Warren from the unjustified hate that dome gave him, but I never saw the Grahamfield as an option. But days before Ep.4 some personal things happened to me, and I began to see the Grahamfield with an option, I started to like it more. Ep.4 arrives and besides being my favorite episode, I was happy and surprised that the Grahamfield was a possible option.
Finish the game and although I don't like at all the choice "Sacrifice Arcadia Bay" I had no problem, in the end: everyone their choices. I started showing my Grahamfield works. Sometimes comments came directly and indirectly offending my work. No problem, I could deal with it. But in 2016 began the problem: The attacks on Grahamfield, Warren and those who liked it increased even worse: they attacked those who chose to Sacrifice Chloe. The offenses were of a lot of variety but here are some of the ones I remember:
"You have no heart" "You're a monster", "You're a horrible person" "Surely you're homophobic" "You're a lesphobic" "You didn't understand the game" "You didn't understand Max" "That disgusts your tastes" "If you like such a ship, then fuck you"
In early 2016 I was dealing with many personal, family, professional problems, go to see things about LiS and other things that I liked helped me to reassure me. But that intolerant posts in LiS tags were so massive and consecutive that ended up making me believe them and thus, fall into depression.
I was weak? Maybe. But I hope you understand that everywhere I was going through difficult times, that when I went to see things about LiS it was my way of being able to entertain myself and I hope you also understand, that these people were not entitled to attack people. In 2015 I could deal with it but that 2016 I couldn't because of my own affairs and because the attacks, seriously, were massive. I was no longer happy with my decisions, nor tastes, with anything. I tried everything: to listen to my favorite music, to watch series that motivated me and remembered me my goals and my own being. Met my friendships, my boyfriend. Nothing worked. Everything was getting worse: although I no longer paid attention and stopped going to tags for a while, the damage was already done to me, the doubts grew more and more in me:
"Why do I like grahamfield?" "Why couldn't you like the Pricefield?" "Why do you like Warren?" "Why can't Chloe be your favorite?"
And worse:
"Why do you always like the weirdest thing?" "Why can't you be like the others?" "Why don't you normal?" "Why do I think as I think?" "Why am I this way?" What was I born for? "Why do I exist?" "Why?" "Why?" "Why?"
My self-esteem went down a lot, I no longer wanted to draw and I didn't want to get out of bed. Everything looked gray and had attacks of crying. Although my problems had turned out. The depression was already in me. I had to go to the psychologist. I was diagnosed with Social Depression. It wasn't serious, but it had to be treated. I kept going to sessions. My psychologist is a love, I could tell her absolutely everything even if it sounded very absurd but she understood and helped me. My mom, my boyfriend, some friends help me too. Some things I discovered also help: Lukas Graham, Keane, Oxenfree, and more.
Throughout 2016 sometimes I suffered attacks of anxiety, doubts, of crying. It was difficult to deal for me, my mom and my boyfriend. But we don't give up. I didn't give up. I almost broke up with my boyfriend for believing it was a nuisance and weak, but I never did. Unfortunately sometimes looking Pricefield made me nervous and feeling of guilt for not liking Pricefield invaded me very hard. I swear that I tried by many means to like it and become my ship. I never could and currently I can't. I only see them as best friends.
So I drew Grahamfield. In fact, in this long road of recovery, Max and Warren accompanied me a lot, they were the characthers and a ship that helped me a lot in accepting myself as I am and with my tastes and choices. Little by little I was recovering. 2016 wasn't a very pleasant year for me, but still there some good memories of that year. 2017 was a better year. At the beginning of that year I could feel improvements, but sometimes the doubts continued and sometimes I woke up with stomachaches. Monstar Calls, Persona 5, Jughead's Comic, new friendships, and improved more. LiS's fandom was quieter and I drew more Grahanfield. But April was where I found that serie that made me try harder to get up.
Orange is the New Black and Bojack Horseman were those series that I watched in 2016 and helped me a lot to accept my depression, to accept myself, to defend myself and to love myself as I am. But that April 12 2017 I started watching 13 Reasons Why and everything was clearer to me. I know, 13RW is a very controversial series, but it helped me realize many, many things: how lucky I'm to have people around me who love and love me. That I want and I must be strong to protect those I want, to defend myself and demonstrate what I'm capable of achieving. Not giving up. It's worth moving forward. I want to live.
And so, with more strength and enthusiasm I began to overcome my low self-esteem, I began to draw more, to work for a while as a waitress and resume my studies to get my degree. There was only one problem: now I saw Pricefield and I got angry. It reminded me of all the pain I went through in 2016 for those rude people who liked Pricefield and kept attacking you just for liking another ship. But my anger is left just in that: Angry. I swear never, but NEVER come to attack or offend someone because they like Pricefield. I never did and never will.
2017 was a good year, although BTS isn't a game that I like very much, I enjoyed it somehow. My psychologist tells me that I'm much better. For me it meant that I had already overcome my depression. The earthquake of September 19 in 2017 was an event that greatly impacted me. I helped as much as I could, and there I realized that in 2018 I wanted to improve myself more as person. And I did it.
2018 was my best year: I participated in a film with rotoscopie technique called "Olimpia" and it's one of my greatest achievements and I'm proud to have participated in making animation. I did many activities that helped me grow as a person. I kept drawing Grahanfield and now I defended Warren and Grahamfield as I had never done, but this time with evidence. My love for the characters had come back and I had studied the subject more. American Vandal, Chilling Adventures of Sabrina, Shape of Water also arrived in 2018 and they helped me a lot.
2019 arrives: Carmen Sandiego and The Umbrella Academy get to inspire me professionally. I started a diploma in February of Graphic Novel to get my Bachelor's degree. I did it. I finished in August and this November they gave it to me. I'm already licensed. I've been calmly reading the LiS comic. Seeing things about Pricefield no longer fill me with anxiety. I absolutely feel good and happy with my tastes within the fandom of LiS.
In these days I have thought about my whole process. OITNB ended this year, next year ends Bojack Horseman and 13 Reasons Why. Those 3 series with their recent seasons have made me see that I must close a cycle. And that's why I count all this.
I tell my story as proof of how much the toxic side of the LiS fandom damaged me. That although everything remains calm sometimes, there are still people like that I managed to get ahead, and I hope that someone inside the fandom hasn't suffered something similar or worse. And still, to those people who damaged me only one thing I can say:
Thank you.
Thank you for your fatal acts, because even they have damaged me and brought me into depression, it caused me to get the best out of myself and show myself that I can be stronger.
I love Grahamfield, Max and Warren separately. These characters and ship aren't only that, they're my recovery symbol and reminder of loving me as I am. They mean to me a lot. They grew and healed with me. I appreciate these two separately and together. I never hated Chloe. She isn't my favorite but I appreciate her a lot, I recognize her flaws, and I still appreciate her. Chloe and me have things in common. But in truth: you don't know how much I identify with Max and Warren, that's how it was since I met the game.
I'm glad to notice my years of progress. But I also want to apologize if at some point I became rude for defending Warren and/or Grahamfield. Now I hope you understand where my courage and my insistence to defend it came from.
I also want to make it clear that I don't blame Pricefield or anyone who likes this ship or Chloe. But I want to prove that attacking someone just because doesn't like your ship isn't fine. You don't know what is happening to that person. Judging someone just for a taste is neither good nor kind. You don't know how much a characther/ship can mean for that person. Notice to what degree can damage their fanaticism that reaches the degree of intolerance. I also want to clarify that it isn't bad that someone doesn't like Warren and Grahamfield. What is wrong is that some don't understand that everyone likes. That understand that not everyone will like the same thing and they will not see it in the same way.
Everyone is a world. Everyone has their own worldview. Not because someone is different from you and doesn't like the same as you, it gives you the right to judge it as trahs and treat it as trahs.
Treat people as you would like to be treated.
I'm glad that in these 4 years that I like LiS I have found people who are still kind to me and others, and who respect each other's tastes and decisions. Both on Twitter, IG and here I have found friendly and fun people and I really appreciate them. They were a great help of my recovery. Really, thank you very much guys. Believe me that sharing the same taste for LiS but each one having different taste, still treating each other well and in a friendly way, helped me a lot and I'm very grateful. I will continue to like everything about LiS and LiS2. I will continue to draw about it and I will love to find friendships that also like LiS. Count on me when you need anything. LiS is still something important in my life, it helped me a lot to grow in several aspects. But I also won't let anyone keep offending/attacking someone else in the fandom if that person isn't hurting anyone. Respect and Tolerance among all please.
If you have read all this, you don't know how much I appreciate it. I hope this helps someone to reflect on our way of living, communicating, understanding and tolerating each other. I'm already very well, more than good.
I love myself.
Please love yourself.
You can do it!
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obeymematches · 4 years
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Hello! I hope you're not swarmed in all the matchup requests lol, but I have to say - they're great! I love how detailed they are and how much work and thought you put into them! It's admirable, to be honest.
But of course I came here for my own matchup lmao. I'm polyamorous so I'm okay with multiple matches (if you want to, ofc).
So, I'm an INTP, aesthetically edgy, nonbinary.... something, ig. I'm a retired weeb that became a kpop stannie and an e-girl/e-boy but I'm still very much a nerd when it comes to entertainment, like video games and stuff.
I've been told that I look intimidating ever since I was a kid and people tend to be lowkey scared of me at first - add to that the fact that I don't talk much with strangers and have a permanent murderous gaze. But once you force your way into befriending me I become a very loyal and chaotic middle school boy with a negative amount of braincells.
I used to be known as a cryptid - never took pictures, never left my room, so quiet you'd never know if I'm currently in the same room as you or not (my friends would call me irl Kuroko - yes, that even applied to when we played basketball in school). But then, one day I decided that I'm bored of being boring and turned into the loud, vulgar, hot friend (according to my friends, again) that you'd book a room with in a closed off apartment complex but then decided to get some kebabs at midnight and then had to climb over the fence once you got back because the gate man has already left for the night. That was not oddly specific at all.
I know that what I'm doing is usually dumb and dangerous and that's exactly why I do it. I'm dumb but I'm not an idiot, y'know? I also have problems with authority lmao. And while I love doing all the dumb stuff with my friends I'm extremely protective and always take the blow or make sure no one gets actually hurt. Self-sacrifice is a personality trait 😌💅✨ Also, I still have a crippling social anxiety but after mastering the art of dissociating I can go out in public!
I'm not a very affectionate person - I don't really like physical affection all that much. I'm cool with hugging, hand holding and cuddling but in moderation. I express my love towards those close to me by doing favours and helping them. You'll also know I like you and am comfortable when I stop with all the "uwu i love u ur so amazing" and start throwing (not genuine) insults around or bully you (affectionately). I'm also straight up emotionally constipated.
There's very few things in life that I take seriously and even less things that I care about in general. Because of that I can seem very apathetic and dishonest. That being said, I *do* have hobbies and interests (hyperfixations, actually), I don't have an artistic soul but I do a lot of different art (drawing, dancing, singing, rapping, makeup, fashion, etc.) - but my heart belongs to the world of linguistics.
I'm quiet pessimistic on the inside but I just implement it into the typical Gen-Z humor and ignore all my (often serious) problems. I prefer keeping a happy, funny, loud persona in front of others - I'm the distraction and mood maker!
I'd want my partner(s) to first and foremost - be my best friend(s). Someone who isn't very emotional and can solve problems with logic and in a calm manner. Someone who'll be happy with us just existing and vibing next to each other.
Also someone who'd wrestle with me. Or at least would let me throw them around a little, lol.
My faves are Levi, Belphie, Beel and Monie but I think I match with the first two better, imo.
Thank you in advance! Hope you're having a great day/night!
----
Hello!
Ahhh thank you for your kind words!!! >w
Okay so I think you are in fact a great match to each of your favourites for a different reason!
So in canon I don’t think there much info about their take on mono/poly relationships. Sure, besides Beel all of the other candidates are known to get jealous easily but like being poly is not cheating lol. I’m not sure if someone already made HCs about this but I think it would take so much time to convince Levi that theres not one, but two (or more) people who actually love him oh god. But I think the others mentioned above would be ok. 
So I decided to match you with Mammon! 
 Okay so when it comes to aes I think you and Mammon would make a matching couple! 
Mammon also plays games from time to time, so you could spend some time gaming together. He is surprisingly good at them! Obviously Levi could relate to your otaku past, but that is the past. 
I think your intimidating exterior would probably give off Lucifer vibes to Mammon at first. This is not something to worry about though - Mammon has a tendency of stealing or using people (he’s not crushing on) + he also looks down on humans. (these are sometimes ignored in the fandom but it’s all canon) So sure he is definitely stronger than you, but I think he would be less likely to pick on you like that if you have a pretty but intimidating face. 
He is also one of the more loyal demons, so you have a priority on the same spot! 
I think he would definitely support your chaotic ideas and steal kebab with you at night. You would annoy his brothers a lot and he would get you into trouble very often! So be prepared for some lectures by Lucifer. 
The fact that you self-sacrafice might end up getting you in danger but Mammon is also protective so it’s just the two of you protecting the other while doing someting silly.
Mamon definitely has many favors to ask for, so it’s nice that you don’t think of that as a turn-off! However make sure he doesn’t use you
 His love language is giving gifts so in return you can expect him to get you something! 
I think he likes affection but definitely not in public and he will deny wanting a hug from you with his life
Okay so the fact that you actually call out your friends when they are being unreasonable is something that comes in handy! Mammon gets bullied a lot by his brothers - sometimes there is no reason, but other times he is not innocent at all. So it would be nice if you could shape his personality a bit! 
I definitely see him with a partner who cares about appearance, so you being into makeup and fashion is a good bonus! He wants to set you off on being a model after all
He is definitely outgoing so you being able to sing and dance are great additional points! He will definitely show you off at some bars so be prepared!
I don’t think he is very fond of linguistics as really the only thing that gets him going is cash. He would probably look up how to make the most out of being a linguistic and he will definitely have a conversation with you about his findings
You two could definitely hit it off as best friends first! I mean he will not confess early, being a tsundere and all.
 Okay so Levi would be better at solving difficult situations logically as he is an admiral at the navy. However there is a reason why Mammon is the second strongest that gets overlooked sometimes! If an issue arises he has ideas to solve them! These are not always very great ideas and they might sound silly but most of the time they work! 
Mammon is definitely the best candidate to play-fight out of the potential candidates!! I imagine him being much stronger than you and giving you a hard time but he is not a sadist at all so he will let you win at the end 
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dennou-translations · 4 years
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TBS Pamphlet Interview with Director Akane Kazuki
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Raw || Index
Note: This interview is from TBS Anime Festa 2018, where Hoshiai no Sora premiered back in August. The pamphlet also includes a mini interview with Itsuka, but this one sadly wasn’t in TBS’s site.
——Please tell us how you decided to make an original work this time.
Akane: I had been thinking about all sorts of things for ten or so years, but then my staff asked me, “How about you stop making sci-fi and parallel universe stuff and try making something original?”. And so, since about five years ago, I had been feeling like tackling some sort of new genre.
I joined this industry roughly in the 85’s. It was exactly the period of the Gundam Boom, and I think that Gundam caused a new movement and has always been riding on its flow until now. Animation is entertainment, but I believe its trends are becoming specially strong nowadays and I feel like it is already turning into something closer to amusement movies. But the young creators can be the ones doing that. As for us, it has been more than thirty years that we have been in this business already, so isn’t it about time for us to move on to new branches and possibilities of animation? Aren’t we already at ages where it is all right for us to create new things now? While thinking about such things, I received this story.
——Was the theme in your head from the start?
Akane: When I first received the order, I think I was expecting a series based a little more on current animation – in other words, on entertainment. Yet I was like, “Isn’t it okay to not do just that, but also test out something like the possibilities of animation?”. I, for myself, want to reflect the eras through animation. I had a strong feeling of wanting to try and create not only animation simply about the funny and weird aspects of the current times, but that also properly expresses the suffering and worries of young children in particular, and other such things. Of course, it was going to be aired in television, so the fact that it is entertainment goes without saying, but I think it would be great if we had a plus alpha there, and if we managed to successfully trace the emotions and thoughts of young kids into a drama.
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——What was the reason for choosing “soft tennis” as theme?
Akane: There is also the fact that I have experience with it, but I think soft tennis is a sport that seems like a characteristic of puberty and boyhood. Even though the number of competitors is enormous among middle schoolers, it cuts to about half when they become high schoolers, and when they become college students and posteriorly adults, almost nobody is doing it anymore. It made me think that this tendency was the same as some sort of teenage feeling. We also forget things that were very obvious to us during adolescence when we grow up. I wonder if this doesn’t link up rather well with emotional traits. Plus, there are no professional players in soft tennis. In a way, we can say that it is a sport with no self-interest. It is neither for the sake of earning money nor for becoming famous. We occasionally can see pubescent children make moves without calculations as well. However, around the time they become high schoolers, they gradually start looking ahead and thinking about the future. In short, self-interest starts being born. In that sense, I thought this sport was as pure as adolescence.
——What are the two main characters like?
Akane: This will be the story of children who carry with them all sorts of scars, yet I believe I want to make it into a tale of friends who do not lick each other’s wounds at all, but instead fill up and compensate for them. I cannot go into detail, but those two, who have certain problems in their home environments, want to run away but are unable to because they are middle schoolers. If they were adults, they could get away from it by leaving, but middle schoolers cannot afford to do that, so they end up bearing wounds in their hearts. Those are the types of wounds that people forget when they become adults, but I want to try properly expressing them and writing about how they will overcome them and grow up. In this sense, I also want adults to remember their own. The wounds that they used to carry. And realize that they are the ones hurting children now. I want to make it into a drama that causes people to feel what is happening in real time.
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——Aside from home circumstances, how will the schools and club activities be depicted?
Akane: The boys’ soft tennis club, which will appear in this story, is a bit of a flighty existence even within the school, so if I had to say so myself, they are looked down upon. They have not had a victory in four years and are on the brink of being disbanded. As they are asked if a club like that has any right to exist, they themselves give up at first. Like, “We can’t do anything anyway”. Then, a chemical reaction happens as the main character, Katsuragi Maki, joins the club. To put it in an extreme way, this starts off as the story of a group of losers. There is nothing so terrible in the real world like being losers while middle schoolers, but our society does want to say such things about them. But I want to tell children, “Don’t give up; overcome that standard”. It might be fiction that only happens within animation either way, but I want to create a drama like this. Of course, sci-fi dramas where people try to survive in crumbling worlds are also interesting, but I want to make a drama about boys living in a realistic world while preserving their pride and identities. That might be the main theme this time.
——It seems this will be a work full of things to observe, but director, what is the point you want people to pay most attention to?
Akane: I am thinking of trying my first approach on the current situation of our society, which I had not depicted so much in animation until now. Many things that have not been a topic even in the news or the internet until now are the subject in it. I also want to get to the heart of the issues that the world is burdened with nowadays. That is quite a challenge for animation, but I believe that animation is also becoming a type of media that can portray such things. Of course, just being funny and weird would is okay too, but I want to make a drama that will not be only this, and that will make the people watching respond more strongly to it. I do not know how deep we can go or until what point we can bring out results, but I would be happy if people could pay attention to this part and think together with the characters.
——Please tell us your reason for choosing Itsuka-san for the character drafts.
Akane: It will turn into a rather serious story, so in my mind, I had imagined them as more realistic characters. That is why, when a producer introduced me to Itsuka-san, I thought at first, “I wonder about this”, but I thought it over, like, “Isn’t the imbalance of something serious like that with a design such as this very much like Japanese anime? Isn’t it a little wrong to make them realistic characters just because it’s a realistic story?”. The art that Itsuka-san draws is very sensible, and this drama is also done in an extremely delicate way, so in that sense, it is perfect. We are often misunderstood, and just because the theme is soft tennis, people go, “Akane-san, you’re making something rooted in sports this time?” (laughs). I wanted to rebound these preconception-like comments, and thought of trying my hand at challenging myself with directing an animation that used Itsuka-san’s sensible characters. In fact, we made videos as a test, and they were very easy to get familiar with.
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——Then, lastly, please leave a message for the people looking forward to when it airs.
Akane: Both drama and art-wise, I am thinking of doing a new challenge and forming a new world-building, so I would be happy if people could also look forward to the synchronization between drama and art. I think it will be a peculiar anime, but I want to make it into a series that will cause people to feel the difference in that instead, so please wait for it to air while looking forward to it.
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freddyfreebat · 5 years
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Jack Dylan Grazer’s interview with HERO Magazine
[In] a far step from his first appearance on stage at six years old, during which he adopted a British accent and warbled out an opera ballad, [Jack Dylan] Grazer is currently gearing up for his role in Luca Guadaginino’s upcoming HBO series, We Are Who We Are, a love story set on an American military base in Italy.
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Lindsey Okubo: Let’s start by talking about the on-set chemistry between you, Zach [Levi] and Asher [Angel] in Shazam! It was amazing to watch and I imagine that the influences you have on set play a large role in your life. How has your understanding of yourself been influenced by the roles you’ve played? Jack Dylan Grazer: Oh for sure, I think that if I wasn’t living through the opportunities that I have with acting... Oh my god, I’d be a mess. I would be all over the place [laughs]. This is my outlet. This is my world. I tried doing sports when I was little and it just didn’t work for me and then I started doing theatre and was like, this is my tribe, this is where I belong, this is my niche. To live in these fantasy worlds has been so cool because when I was growing up, I used to dress up as Captain Hook or Batman and do little scenes in the mirror. I just enjoyed living through these characters. Lindsey: You must feel a certain level of freedom as you disassociate from who you are? Jack: Yeah, it’s so liberating. Some people choose to bottle thing up, but for me, being on a stage or in front of the camera is freedom. Being someone else is really just me being me in a weird way, it’s who I am, it’s living out loud, which I’ve been doing my whole life.
Lindsey: Yeah, and growing up nowadays we really do have larger platforms to express ourselves, to live out loud and actually be heard compared to past generations. Jack: It’s definitely easier to speak your truth, be your real self, choose your destiny and not have a pre-orchestrated future. It’s easier to carve your own path because people are more understanding – or more empathetic. Lindsey: Are there ever any moments where you do feel vulnerable in those instances? With acting, you really have to open yourself up and be in tune with your emotions in a way that most people aren’t, it’s your livelihood. Jack: Totally. But when you surpass that wall of being afraid, of being vulnerable, you’ll find there’s comfort there. With acting, you’re also this other character and you get to speak your so-called “truth” through his character who may or may not be similar to you. Lindsey: Right, but how do you then fend off moments of doubt when you’re stretching your understanding of yourself? It’s the thought process of like, I know who I am, but how do I become someone else? Jack: Of course there’s going to be doubt, but when you know that you have the capability then it’s easier. You have to have some kind of empathy for your character and an understanding of why they’re doing what they’re doing. A while ago I watched this interview with actor Steve Railsback, who is this super nice hippie dude, but he played Charles Manson in Helter Skelter (1976). Charles was a sickening human but Steve was like, “I can understand why my character does what he does. I can convince myself of his motives.” That’s a tough thing to do but it’s just that, it’s convincing yourself of your character’s motives instead of holding onto your own. Lindsey: Going back to what you were saying earlier about our generation being able to empathise to a greater extent, I’m wondering how do you differentiate between understanding and empathising? Jack: Empathy is putting yourself in the person’s shoes and comprehending the outcomes, while understanding is like, okay, I get where you’re coming from but I’m not going to fully go there. Lindsey: Do you ever feel suffocated by the fame while still figuring out who you are? Jack: Originally I felt, yeah, kind of suffocated, but what really grounded me was school and the fact that it’s super important to me. I plan on going to college and if I start thinking of school as a necessity, like brushing my teeth, or taking a shower, then it’s not as big of a thing. I do my final take on set and then it’s back to school. I never want to neglect it. Lindsey: That’s funny because I feel like now more than ever, people are questioning the importance of the schooling system – where does school become important for you and what value do you see in it now? Jack: Education in any field informs your art because there are always so many references to draw from, it’s so useful and I myself applying these when it comes to acting or anything creative. Subject-wise, I’m super into English, history and world civ, but it doesn’t need to be drawing from school directly, it can just be life experiences because I like to know a bit about the character and what that kind of person they are. Lindsey: Right, but there’s also something to be said about the people we are learning from. What makes a good teacher to you? Jack: I think it’s important when a teacher focuses on each student individually, instead of teaching students as a whole. It’s important to understand everyone has different learning capabilities, everyone learns at a different pace and has a different process. Lindsey: Taking that a step further and applying it to your own career, you’ve spoken about wanting to direct and write... Jack: Yeah I definitely want to extend into other creative factions – I want to stay in this environment and industry because it’s what I love. The cool thing about my experiences on set is that I’ve always been able to apply my own creative input. Like on It, me and Finn [Wolfhard] were always coming up with stuff. The majority of the dialogue between him and I was improvised and Andy [Muschietti], our director, was super fantastic about that. Lindsey: That’s cool. What do you think is the inherent power of storytelling? Jack: I think it’s the ultimate entertainment. It’s so vast, there are a multitude of conduits that go into telling a story and there are so many ways in which to be a storyteller. I’m equally interested in both telling the story and being a character in the narrative. On set, we’re all building the story as open, it’s a team, an ensemble. That being said, I think the key to being a good director is being flexible and doing away with the formalities, to allow for free reign. Lindsey: And it’s also about having trust in the people that you’re working with. I feel like that can be a difficult thing when so many of us have our walls up – how do you begin to break them down through storytelling? Jack: I’ve worked with actors before where I’ll be in a scene with them and they’ll be trying to flex their jawline to look good for the camera when it’s a serious scene. That’s great, but if you’re there in the body of that character, in that moment he wouldn’t be flexing [laughs]. It’s that self-aware thing where it’s like, “Wow, how good does my jawline look right now?” There are levels to it. For instance on social media, I’m a pretty open book but there are things I won’t share because it’s not other people’s business. I keep it lighthearted, I keep it easy, not because I want to make it seem like the life of Jack Dylan Grazer is all fun and games but it’s like, what’s the point in sharing if that’s not my purpose? I think my current purpose is to entertain and that’s what I want to do. My goal is to be funny, to be moving, to be storyteller. Lindsey: Does entertaining ever get tiresome for you to the point where you feel like you’re always performing instead of just being? Jack: I guess sometimes. But I really do feel at home performing. I remember the first time I ever went on stage to do a play, I was six, doing a British accent, singing opera and I found myself. I was like, I can’t do anything but this, I won’t allow myself to do anything but this. Now I’m here and have realised that I want to stretch myself – and sometimes it does get tiring to entertain. Humour is my number one trait, I like making people laugh – that’s my favourite thing. Lindsey: To what extent is sharing that creativity for yourself? Jack: If you’re a creative person and you’re confident in that, then it’s better to be open about it and express it to people who you feel you can share it with. I’m not saying show it off to the world if you don’t want to, but be proud of yourself and have assurance in yourself. There are always flaws in creativity but it’s all part of the art. It’s different for everybody, but for me, I love showing off what I do. Lindsey: Does it have anything to do with needing validation at the same time or are you past that point? Jack: I don’t know if it’s validation. I guess the simplest way to put it is that I’m just proud of what I do and if someone’s like, “Oh, it’s shitty,” I’m like, “Oh, okay, cool, I don’t care.” Unless it’s intelligent, constructive criticism of course. Lindsey: How do you define personal growth? Jack: You’re never done evolving. It’s pretty hard to detect when you’ve reached your full potential, which is like the blood of everything we do, it’s how we operate. By having dedication, commitment and discipline you’re able to access your ability and that’s my ultimate goal, as a human being and as an artist.
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