#bucky barnes x nurse!reader
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Look At Me — Bucky Barnes
Pairing: 40s!bucky x nurse!reader
Word count: 11,951
Summary: She never expected to fall so deeply for Sergeant James "Bucky" Barnes, what with his skirt-chasing tendencies and cocky personality. Except how was she to know war would change everything she thought she wanted? Suddenly, she wanted him.
Warnings: angst, violence, WW2, slow burn, enemies to friends to lovers, friends to lovers, enemies to lovers, death, torture, whump, HYDRA, post-serum Steve Rodgers, kissing, angst with happy ending. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK
Note: I got a little carried away... oops. Anyway, happy reading!
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"We'll set up camp here. The sun's getting low, and it's not safe to travel at night. We'll freeze to death if we try." James "Bucky" Barnes flung his pack to the ground and stretched his aching limbs over his head, sore from walking all day.
The infantry had left camp early that morning, just before dawn. They were to travel across the Eastern Italian border and meet the British battalion just south of Azzano. General McGinnis planned to march with a regiment of his own a week after news of the 107th's safe arrival reached camp.
"Should I start a fire, Sergeant?" Private Andrew Eaton asked, rubbing his hands together. The sun was setting, spreading a soft glow over the snow-ridden forest. "Warm us up?" His eyes flicked toward the girl, and she stiffened under his gaze.
She was a nurse, travelling with the soldiers because of her immaculate record. She had never lost a man before; one could be on the brink of death and would survive if she got her hands on them. Her expertise was unmatched and desperately needed on the Eastern Front, where the allies were losing men at an alarming rate.
Bucky shook his head. "We're too close to enemy lines. The smoke will draw attention, and we can't risk that."
Multiple eyes drifted to the nurse's shivering form, some filled with pity, others with concern. She had not once complained about the walk nor the temperature, but she was no soldier. Everyone knew her body was at risk of collapse; unaccustomed to the harsh terrain of the Dolomite Mountains, her back hunched with the weight of her pack, her eyes drooped with fatigue, cheeks crimson with cold and body trembling.
Mimicking Bucky, she, too, flung her bag on the frozen soil and dropped unceremoniously on it, finally giving in to her exhaustion.
"You sure about that, Sergeant Barnes?" Eaton questioned. The girl widened her eyes in alarm. It was one thing to hold the soldiers back with her slow pace and decreased stamina, another to put them all in danger. "Maybe we should risk it."
Typically, questioning a superior officer was inappropriate and inexcusable, but not one person reacted negatively to the Private's question. Murmurs of approval spread through the men.
Bucky turned toward the nurse, taking in her form. Like the rest of his soldiers, he also worried for the girl—more than he should have. She did not have any endurance training. She had not even left the relative safety of the camp until now, and it took everything in Bucky to stop himself from carrying her back to base camp, where she would be safe from the threat of gunfire and death.
He opened his mouth—to either agree with Eaton or disagree with him—no one could know. The girl chose that moment to let go of her hesitations. "I once spent an entire night out in the streets of France with just a pair of gloves and a tattered jacket," she rushed out. At the confused looks, she clarified, "in the middle of December." More looks. "In negative twenty-five-degree weather..." her voice was slowly tapering into shyness. "I am alive, am I not?"
"How much is that in Fahrenheit, Miss?" And the conversation moved forward.
The soldiers insisted on lighting at least a small fire for the girl's sake, igniting one under the cover of the dense coniferous trees. While the men began to set up camp for the night, Bucky stood there with a puckered brow and a frown marring his features, before shaking his head and helping them.
The nurse decided she would not be the one to risk them all. After another twenty minutes or so of bickering, she finally lost her temper. "You might as well know by now; I'm inherently stubborn, and nothing any of you say or do will change my mind."
After that, a perimeter was established, lookouts were posted, and tents were begrudgingly set up. Some soldiers retired to rest while others passed down alcohol, huddled against each other to conserve heat.
"It'll warm you up." Bucky sat down next to the shivering girl on a collapsed, decaying tree. He thrust a flask toward her mouth, urging her to drink from it. He took a sip when she made no move, clearing his throat and asking her again. "Will you drink some?"
His voice was sweet and kind, and she despised it. She pursed her lips in response and leaned away. "No, thank you," she replied while her teeth chattered.
Bucky frowned in annoyance. Her stubbornness, which he usually found amusing, was turning out to be somewhat of a hindrance.
"Sorry, doll, but it wasn't a question." He thrust the flask toward her once more, belligerent in his attempt.
She leaned farther away, and Bucky followed her, trapping her against the tree. "No, thank you. You know I don't drink alcohol—."
"Yes!" he suddenly grew frustrated and ran a trembling hand through his brown locks. Somehow the girl always managed to get on his nerve. "I know you don't drink, alright? And I know you hate cursing, that you're stubborn as hell, and that you talk funny because 'proper use of language is important.' I also know that you'll die of hypothermia if you don't warm yourself up, and I rather not have to explain to Colonel Phillips that we lost our only good nurse to stubbornness."
The girl inhaled sharply, her emotions in overdrive. She didn't realize how much he noticed her little quirks.
"I'd rather not have to explain to Colonel Phillips that we lost our only good nurse to stubbornness."
"Now, your whining might've worked in Brooklyn," Bucky continued. "Especially with Steve backing you up; but it won't work here. If you haven't noticed, we're not in New York anymore."
"I have eyes," the girl snapped, convinced she was nothing but a burden to him and the soldiers. She wondered again why Colonel Philips sent her, of all people, with the 107th. She didn't think she was that good. "You won't have to explain a thing. Don't worry. I won't die so easily."
Her words were laced with contempt and a hint of something else. Remorse, Bucky realized with a start, though before he could ponder on it any longer, she began to rise, seemingly done with their conversation.
"Damn it, woman!" Bucky's loud voice caught the entire camp's attention. He grabbed her forearm and yanked her back down. She winced when her bottom landed on the trunk a bit too hard. "I'll force this down your throat if I have to."
The girl blanched, shocked by Bucky's authoritative tone. "N-no, you will not!" She made an effort to appear commanding, but her stutter betrayed her. She was scared he would make good on his promise.
"You do not want to test me," he seethed. There was a look in Bucky's eyes she had not seen before. A crazed, almost feral glint in his pupils.
Her heartbeat quickened, and her insides warmed. She chalked it up to adrenaline. "I'm not that cold anymore."
Bucky said nothing, just continued to stare at her with the feral look still in his eyes.
Seconds passed—seconds that felt like minutes—before he spoke. "We're sleeping in one tent tonight." She didn't know why he was telling her that. "Together. To preserve body heat." She was still confused. "You either drink this, girl," he thrust the flask toward her lips once more. "or I'll make you sleep between my men. God knows they haven't touched a woman in months. So they won't have any complaints."
She argued with him, calling him petty names, and stuttering through excuses. "Y-you—you're."
"What?" he taunted. "Say it. Am I an asshole? A fucking idiot? Go on, don't be shy."
"You're an incompetent Sergeant. The most incompetent I've ever met!"
"I'm the only Sergeant you've ever met," Bucky deadpanned. "Seriously? That the best you can do?"
It was. "You're not that cruel! You're bluffing, like you bluffed about throwing me in the East River last year when I went out with that doctor."
"That doctor was a fucking creep with a criminal record," Bucky seethed. The girl's refusal went unheard. "And I wasn't bluffing. If Steve didn't stop me, you would have been swimming with the fish."
She muttered her annoyance under her breath, but Bucky caught it.
"God as my witness, I'll take you over my shoulder and lie on top of you if I have to!" One look into his eyes, and she could tell he was not lying.
When again he thrust the flask toward her mouth, she begrudgingly took it from him, bringing the cool metal to her lips. When the alcohol's bitter smell reached her, she almost gagged at the potent stench.
"I can't!" the girl choked on a sob, shoving the flask back into Bucky's hands.
A smirk adorned his pink lips, so unlike the anger she had been expecting. "Don't say I didn't warn ya." And before she could react, her world had been turned upside down.
Her legs went up, and her head went down. For a few moments, she froze, unable to understand what had happened. When a hand landed on her bottom, she gasped, realizing that Bucky had indeed made good on his promise—taken her over his shoulder.
When she screamed out of frustration, he shushed her. "Don't make me gag you."
The girl felt red, hot embarrassment at being treated like a child in front of all the soldiers. She scratched fruitlessly at Bucky's back, only to end up clutching his fatigues with numb fingers as he carried her across the clearing. At least the men had half a mind to keep their gaze averted when she was thrown unceremoniously inside one of the tents.
"You act like a caveman," she hissed, looking up at his scrunched brow.
Bucky's eyes softened, and all previous frustration and anger left him. Her insult amused him, and he plopped down next to her with a silent huff. "And you act like a brat."
The girl's answering words died on her tongue at Andrew Eaton's voice. "Lose the frown, Miss. There's not a single man here who wouldn't take a bullet for you, Barnes included."
A couple more soldiers entered the small tent, taking up the rest of the space. The girl ignored them, inhaling deeply. "I was perfectly fine outside, Andrew. Not cold at all."
A quick laugh from Bucky. "Is that why your lips are blue, and you're shaking like a leaf? 'Cause, you're not cold at all?"
"—He's just tryna keep you alive," Andrew interrupted before another argument could ensue.
A laugh bubbled up in the girl's throat before she could stop it. For some reason, the suggestion that Bucky Barnes was keeping her alive made her hysterical. Bucky Barnes, the man who couldn't keep a plant alive. She laughed until her stomach hurt, then she took a deep breath, clutched her middle while she fell backwards, and continued laughing.
"Fucking hell? She's crazy," the girl heard Bucky curse under his breath, but she was so far gone in delirium she could not be bothered to scold him for it.
"At least she's not frownin' anymore," Andrew offered.
The girl laughed harder, curling in on herself. Bucky stared at her with confused amusement, barely concealed, and chuckled softly. She was the most bizarre person he had ever met. So odd. Lately, he caught himself smiling more in her presence than ever before, finding it harder to resist her contagious delights. She was a constant amusement for the rest of the soldiers as well. Entertaining, though stressful.
She was still very clumsy, tripping on rocks and slipping down declines. A soldier needed to be watching her all the time, and that soldier, unbeknownst to her, was generally Bucky. He had grown eyes in the back of his head, trying to ensure she did not hurt herself. The girl had touched the hearts of all the men, his most of all, though he tried to conceal the fact by being curt and severe with her. Despite that, he did find pleasure in being able to tame her.
Ludovic Fournier, the Frenchman, muttered a phrase in his native tongue, and Andrew translated for him. "Women go a bit crazy before starting their courses. It's best to indulge them and not question it."
The entire tent went crazy, laughing and hollering almost as hard as the girl had been. Though she was not laughing anymore, and she was not amused. Her laughter died as quickly as it started—jarringly abrupt.
"I'm right here, you know!" She turned to the Frenchman. "Dis-moi, monsieur," the girl turned to him with a sarcastic and slightly intimidating curl of her lips. "Comment avez-vous appris tant de choses sur les femmes?"
The Frenchman swallowed thickly, and from behind him, Andrew translated his words to the small group. "She's asking how he got so damn smart."
"Ma femme."
"Ah! Idiote moi. Mais bien sûr. Ta femme doit être folle si elle tá épousé. Rien à voir avec se scours. Accune femme saine désprit ne portrait passer plus d'une journee avec toi sans avoir besoin d'être admis dans en établissement mental par la suite."
"She says, don't blame that time of the month, or your poor wife, when it's you're the reason she's like that." He guffawed out loud, drawing the girl's attention, before continuing. "Anyone would go crazy after spending more than a minute with you. Jesus Christ! Man, oh, man!"
The girl went warm all over. That was precisely why she tended to keep quiet. Her temper would rise if she did not keep her emotions in check. She had only ever lost it with Bucky before, never in front of a crowd. "Excuse me, gentlemen," she mustered what remaining dignity she had left, "but it's time for me to rest. I will see you all in the morning, bright and early. Good night."
Amidst all the hysterical laughing and the rampant rambling, the girl had forgotten Bucky's promise. He yanked her down before she could leave. He had indulged her long enough.
"I'm not letting you kill yourself—don't," he started, when he noticed her lips curl, "start laughing again. It was traumatizing enough the first time."
What he meant: "Please don't laugh again, because if you do, I wouldn't want you to stop. Ever." Except he did not know he felt such a thing. So, he annoyed her instead, undermining his affection for her.
The girl huffed loudly, voicing her frustration. The rest of the men settled inside the tent, pressed against each other for heat, hoping for at least a few hours of uninterrupted sleep. "I'm not cold anymore. I told you before."
"You're the worst liar I have ever met. Seriously! Worse than Steve." That was true. Steve was a horrible liar. "I can see you shivering. Hell! I can hear you!"
Bucky decided to give her a choice. A poor one, yes, but a choice, nonetheless. "Where do you wanna sleep? In between Fournier and Ward or next to Eaton?" He leaned in close, putting a hand next to his mouth as if indulging her with a secret. "I gotta warn you, though. He snores like a pig."
The girl simmered. She did not want to spend the night in the middle of men, and Bucky knew that. He was intimately aware of her reservation toward the opposite sex."Over here is fine." She was referring to the front of the tent where she was already seated.
"Perfect! This way, I'll be able to keep an eye on you."
"Excuse me?"
"You did choose the coldest spot, but I won't complain. Promise." He shrugged out of his jacket.
"What are you doing?"
"—as long as you wear this."
By now, it was a sort of ritual for Bucky to demand something of the girl and for her to deny him. No matter how helpful or minuscule the command, she could hardly help it anymore, even though it always ended with her compliance—sometimes forced.
"No, thank you." She was nothing if not stubborn.
Bucky scoffed. Grabbing her wrists, he pulled her down until she was in his lap. The girl stifled her scream and gasped instead.
The rest of the men were almost all asleep, exhausted from the long day. So was the girl, though she would not admit it. She was tired and cold—more than usual—and scared; of what was to come and of what was currently taking place. Her ancient promise of staying away from James Buchanan Barnes was becoming harder to uphold.
Bucky knew this—not of her promise, of course, but of her crumbling resolve—So he pushed. He flustered and confused her. "Only because it's amusing," he told himself—her reaction to his teasing. "Only because it's amusing,"
"You should stick with red. Purple is not a good colour on you, and that's what you'll become if you don't listen to me." He placed his jacket over her shoulders, and she was instantly warmed.
"What about you?" Her voice was meek and hesitant, words honeyed in their delivery. "Will you not get cold?" But he only smirked and raised his brows in answer. "Oh. Right." She had forgotten his natural affinity for all things warm, so unlike her own, for all things cold.
"I've got both you and Eaton keeping me warm. I wouldn't worry about it." Bucky smirked when the girl said nothing and only blinked in surprise.
She lowered herself, letting her head touch the soft ground. Tarps had been placed neatly all over, offering protection from the snow surrounding them. She turned away from Bucky, putting a foot of space between him and herself, holding her breath when she felt him lie next to her. However, the second she relaxed, his arm wrapped around her midsection and pulled her flush against his front, not an inch separating them.
"Bucky!" she warned in a hushed whisper, struggling against his hold. "This is inappropriate!"
"No!" he huffed in her ear, hot breath warming her neck. "This is survival!" She continued her futile attempts, trying harder to elude his grasp. "Besides, I gave you my only jacket, and I need to—Damn it, woman! Stop moving," he groaned in her ear.
"Why?" she asked, squirming harder.
"Because—Damn it!" he groaned again. "Just stop, will ya?" A deep breath. "Please."
The girl went still. Bucky Barnes never said please, never begged. She had not thought it possible. So, to hear him beg her... she decided she could never let Bucky Barnes use that word ever again. It was dangerous when uttered by his lips. An irresistible, compelling word that she could never deny, gladly giving in to any request.
"Please."
"Sorry," she muttered quietly, quickly settling down, unsure if he was listening. He was. "I'm sorry."
The girl let the tiredness of the day wash over her. She let Bucky's arms hold her, keep her safe and warm, and protect her. Her eyes closed, and she entered the state before sleep where the body was still aware and preparing for rest.
"You drive me crazy," Bucky's whispered in her ear, so quiet she convinced herself she imagined it.
"You drive me crazy too," was her last thought before she let deep slumber overtake her. Except the girl knew Bucky did not mean it with the same intention as hers. "So crazy."
At a steep decline, her foot swept away from under her on an icy patch of grass. From behind her, Bucky dropped his copy of "A Tree Grows in Brooklyn," extending his arm to grab her. He was not fast enough, and she fell on her back, sliding down until she hit a mountain of fresh snow.
"Jesus Christ, Darling!" Bucky reached under her arms to haul her up as if she weighed nothing. "You gotta watch where you're stepping."
"It's too dark," she sputtered, wiping snow off her face. "I couldn't see anything." From the east, the full moon was their only source of light, doing a poor job of illuminating the path through the dense forest around them.
"Fucking hell," Bucky swore, appraising the girl from head to toe. "You're soaked."
"I'm fine," she rasped, already beginning to shiver as the cold permeated her layers to settle in her skin. "I can keep going."
"Like hell you can," Bucky muttered, looking ahead to see everyone else's progress.
"There's no need to swear," the girl grumbled, pulling her hat farther down.
Bucky raised a brow at that. "At least the cold didn't get to your head."
She rolled her eyes, turning to leave, but Bucky grabbed her before she could take a single step, hauling her up in his arms. She shrieked, wrapping her hands around his neck for stability. "What are you doing?"
"You're going to trip again," he said by way of explanation. "It's just a little bit further. Then we'll set up camp."
Bucky ignored the girl's protests, quickly catching up with the rest of the battalion. They walked another mile in about half an hour, and Bucky ignored all of the girl's grumbling, only acknowledging her once they reached a small clearing and began setting up camp.
"Shut up," he grumbled, to which he received a smack on the back of his head.
"You shut up."
He lowered the girl next to the small smokeless fire Simon Ward lit, draping his jacket over her, "Dry up as much as you can. I'll be back."
Scooting closer to the small blaze, the girl pulled Bucky's jacket tighter around her shoulders, studying the flame with intensity as she recalled waking up the past few days.
The girl had gone to sleep slightly rigid and stiff, unused to resting next to another body, but she woke up in a tangle of limbs. Bucky's hands in her hair, her face tucked in the crook of his neck. Sometime in the middle of the night, she had turned over and gravitated closer to the heat his body was radiating. It was the best sleep either of them had ever had. Neither was willing to acknowledge it.
The night after was a repeat of the night before. Bucky threatened alcohol down the girl's throat, and she responded with a litany of insults which he laughed away. They wrestled while everyone watched—Bucky won, and the girl awoke the next day surrounded by a familiar warmth and a musky scent one could only describe as Bucky Barnes.
A week later, the moon was low in the sky, marking the beginning of winter. Neither the girl nor Bucky brought up their temporary sleeping arrangements, choosing to ignore the feelings festering inside them. The girl felt her resolve slowly crumbling. What was that promise she made to herself regarding Bucky Barnes? She couldn't quite recall.
The girl busied herself with unpleasant memories of his. She remembered when she first moved into the apartment across from Bucky. She was carrying a box full of books up the fifth floor of a six-story building. She had to take a break every few minutes to rest her arms, or they would've fallen off. Just outside her door, she collided with a brick wall. Her books went flying—so did she—and Bucky Barnes ran past her without so much as an "excuse me," muttering profanity under his breath. From then on, she started hating him.
That's how she met Steve. The slender young man popped a blonde head out of his friend's door and asked if he could help. She said, "no thanks," but he didn't listen, insisting on bringing the rest of her things up. That night, over a cup of hot tea, she learned about James Buchanan Barnes and his skirt-chasing tendencies. She began to hate him a bit more.
She recalled all his jabs of how she dressed, the way she looked, mocking her insecurities by sarcastically complimenting her. The ruined date with that doctor—never mind the potential criminal record. His threat to drown her.
He broke her friend's heart, told her he would call the next day and didn't. She was married now with a baby on the way, but it was the principle of the thing that irked her.
One by one, all of Bucky's wrongdoings came to the forefront of the girl's mind. When he argued with her, undermined her, and treated her like porcelain. When he called her "doll," "darling," and "sweetheart."
She hated that most of all.
Still, she could not ignore the tiny flutter in her heart whenever she thought of the blue-eyed sergeant. Despite all the bad, she now only remembered his warm smile and comforting embrace.
The girl brought her hand dangerously close to the fire, letting the flame irritate her skin before pulling away. She still felt cold.
Bucky returned a few moments later, rubbing his bare hands together in front of his face. "You tired?"
The girl ignored his question, asking one of her own. "Where are your gloves?"
Bucky's frosty breath momentarily covered his face. "Bradshaw lost his."
"Jeremy?"
Bucky nodded with a smile, unsurprised the girl knew most of the soldiers' names. "Wait, what are you doing?"
She fished her gloves from her coat, thrusting them toward him. "They're dry now. Here, take them."
"Don't be stupid," Bucky scoffed, "you'll get cold." Still, she persevered, leaving her hand dangling. "I'm not taking your gloves," Bucky said with finality.
"Alright," she nodded, dropping her hand and taking off his jacket instead.
Bucky seized her by the shoulders, stopping her and giving her a little shake. "What the fucking hell, woman! Keep your jacket on. It's freezing."
"Don't swear. It's yours, not mine. Take it." She tried prying his fingers off, but he wouldn't budge. "The gloves or the jacket, Bucky. Your choice."
"So goddamn stubborn. Every day you find something new to argue with me about, don't you?"
"Pick one," she warned, "or I'm giving both to Jeremy."
With a mumbled curse, Bucky snatched the gloves from her lap, putting them on like a petulant child.
"And say thank you," she snapped, slightly perturbed he hadn't taken back his jacket.
Bucky squinted his eyes, dropping down next to her. "You're acting like a real brat today."
"You're acting like a caveman! Now leave me alone so I can sleep in peace." She had turned away from Bucky, but when he offered no reply, she swallowed uneasily and looked back. His eyes glinted with mischief, hinting at his next step. "Bucky, no!"
She tried to stop him but was no match for his strength. Her world spun, and she found herself on his shoulder once again. Thankfully she stayed quiet this time, not bringing any extra attention toward them.
"I'll show you caveman." Bucky plopped her down in one of the smaller tents with space just enough for two, closing the flap behind him.
She steamed in forced fury, trying to take comfort in the fact that, pretty soon, she wouldn't have to put up with the infuriating soldier at all. She failed.
After a moment, when Bucky still hadn't moved from his hunched-over position at the front of the tent, the girl snapped at him. "What are you waiting for, Bucky? Come to bed!"
They both paused, processing the girl's words. "Come to bed." It was the first time she willingly called for him. She looked down, embarrassment creeping up her neck, unable to see the smile on Bucky's face.
Carefully, Bucky settled in behind her, embracing her with both arms, fitting her against him. When she began to squirm, he only had to issue a single warning before she relaxed. He sighed gratefully, not wanting a repeat of the past week where she slept oblivious while he tried to tamp down his arousal.
"This is nice," Bucky thought the girl muttered, though he couldn't be sure because she was already asleep.
"Yeah, this is really nice," Bucky whispered against her temple as blissful sleep overtook him.
From a distance, the Italian alps were quite breathtaking. She imagined a cabin in the forest, high on the Dolomite mountains; this would be her view. Maybe she would move here one day—once the war was over—and ask Steve to join her. Steve didn't have anyone stopping him from leaving other than Bucky. Maybe Bucky could join too? She shook that thought away.
The Dolomites were far behind them now, and as they passed town after town, destroyed and abandoned, an unsettling feeling grew vigorous in her gut. They were close to the Austrian border, hugging the small villages and settlements as they got closer to their destination: Azzano.
They made camp as the sun set, supplying the perfect backdrop to a most tiresome journey. The girl slung her pack to the ground and stretched her muscles while waiting for Bucky to finish ordering the men around.
He offered her water when he finished, which she took gratefully. "Lieutenant General Allan Montgomery should be here within the week. We'll travel the rest of the way to Azzano together." Then Bucky's eyes downturned. "We're only a few miles away from the front line. Do you remember your training?" he asked, looking for hesitation.
Of course, by training, he was referring to the hour-long lesson she was given on battlefield defence, not that any of it stuck. She tried schooling her features, failing miserably. "Yes, I do." Her voice was strong and confident, though she felt anything but. "If we spot the enemy, I'm supposed to set up a station at a safe spot and wait for the injured there. They will be sent back if they are fit to fight. If not..." she trailed off, unable to stomach the fact. "But I won't let that happen," she promised.
Bucky looked at her pityingly, as if he knew something she did not. "Let's hope so. The rest of the 107th should be here in a couple of days with General McGinnis. They were right behind us, so—"
Bucky paused, looking behind the girl at the soldiers setting up camp, before shaking his head and continuing. "Are you tired? The sun's beginning to set."
The girl wrapped her arms around her shoulders and shook her head.
"What's wrong?" Bucky asked, immediately picking up on the girl's discomfort.
"Bucky..." she began hesitantly. "How long will you make me sleep with you?"
Bucky frowned. "Do you feel uncomfortable? I know I came across as an asshole, but I didn't want you to freeze to death. Sorry, we can stop."
Unable to respond immediately, the girl looked at him with barely concealed bewilderment. Apologizing; is another thing Bucky Barnes did not do. "No, I don't want to stop. It's just..." she trailed off, looking for the right word. "inappropriate, especially with the General joining us soon."
"No, it's not," he said matter of factly. "We're friends."
"Friends don't sleep together," the girl responded, unsure of what she wanted to hear him say.
Bucky waited until she looked him in the eyes. "We're the exception. Hey, they've got bigger matters to worry about than us sharing body heat. Okay?"
"Okay."
"Well, good."
An awkward silence fell between the pair, and the girl cleared her throat before the feeling could consume her. "The men look ready to fight," she observed, watching her surroundings.
Bucky ran a hand through his hair. "Oh, uh... I mentioned we're near the front lines, right? So we need to set up a perimeter and plan the best line of attack. Make sure we have a solid line of defence in case something happens. Hey, don't worry. We've got this." Bucky gave her shoulder a tiny shove.
"Oh," she huffed, "I am not worried."
"Yeah?" a smile lit his eyes. "Your face is telling me a different story."
She pursed her lips in frustration. "I'm not worried about you, Bucky," she snapped, "I'm worried about Steve. He needs his friend to come back home—in one piece—and now, I know you normally have no regard for your safety, but you have to be careful if you don't want to leave our friend alone in Brooklyn."
Bucky saw red. He pulled at his hair in frustration. It was unbelievable how quickly she was able to rile him up. "Are you kidding me? I'm the one with no regard for safety? In the time I've known you, you've almost died over five times. You can't even cross the street without putting yourself in danger! Hell! I'm still confused about how they let you in this damn war in the first place." He rushed his words, voicing his anger and annoyance. He only registered the last part of the girl's sentence when he took a deep breath.
"Why would Steve be all alone in Brooklyn?" he asked in a more even tone. "You're going to be there, and a few months later, I'll join... he won't be alone. Why would you say that?"
He froze at the look on her face. Guilt—In her eyes, in the way she held herself, oozing from her pores. Bucky could smell it. Bucky could even taste it. "What did you do?"
"I'm so sorry. I wanted to tell you both sooner, but I only just decided and—"
"What. Did. You. Do?" Bucky grit out.
The girl took a deep breath. "I'm leaving. Moving to Canada. I already asked for a transfer—"
"Canada? Fucking Canada?"
"—Don't swear, please," she pleaded.
"This is some sick joke, right? Tell me you're joking." Bucky grabbed her forearms, forcing her to look him in the eyes.
"I'm sorry, Bucky, but I already applied for the transfer. I'm supposed to be moved to a different regiment when we get back to base."
There were many things the girl expected Bucky to say. She expected him to be happy that he was finally rid of her. Relieved she would be gone. She did not expect him to be hurt.
"Were you ever gonna say goodbye?"
"Bucky, I—"
"To Steve, to me. Were you ever going to tell me if I hadn't asked?"
No, she would not have. "Please, Bucky," she pleaded. "I don't want to leave you angry. For the sake of our past, let it go. We won't see each other again for a long time. Not until the war is over."
Bucky scoffed. "Phillips would never let that happen; he wouldn't let you leave. You're his favourite nurse."
She furrowed her brows in response. "I'm not Colonel Phillips' favourite nurse. He has no favourites."
"You're everyone's favourite nurse," he replied as if stating a fact.
"Liar!" she wanted to scream at him. She knew she was not his favourite.
"Not yours," she whispered, staring at him for a moment. "Lila Bellamy told me about the date you took her on. She said you turned a war zone into the most romantic place she'd ever seen. You brought her flowers, danced with her, and kissed her on the cheek once the night was over." She felt wetness gathering in her eyes. "You were the perfect gentleman."
When the first tear dropped, she didn't bother wiping it away. "When you return to base camp, please give Lila my regard. She was quite worried for me. Will you let her know I'm safe? She would be glad to hear from you, and I won't get to talk to her before I leave."
Bucky's grip on her shoulder tightened almost painfully, making her flinch. Through the hurt coursing in her body, she managed a feeble smile. "Try not to break her heart? You two look good together."
"No!" Bucky had had enough; he could hold his words in no longer. "There's nothing between Lila and me."
The girl shook her head. "You don't have to lie."
"Stop it!" Bucky exploded, shaking her. "Stop pushing me away. I don't want Lila; I never wanted her. I've only ever wanted you!"
"Bucky," the girl gasped.
"There's no way I'm letting you leave me, doll," he started, and there was that word she hated. "I'll take you over my shoulder if I have to, but you're not going to fucking Canada; because I love—"
Bucky never got to finish his sentence, never got to tell the girl how he felt because one of his worst nightmares was suddenly realized.
A bullet whizzed past them both—so close that the girl could smell the gunpowder in the wind, could feel its displacement through air against her cheek before it found a home in the soldier behind her. She screamed as she fell, Bucky's heavy weight shielding her body, keeping her down. Her world turned upside down, and she found herself on the cold ground with Bucky's grip on her arms tightened painfully.
To her right, the unfortunate soldier lay dead, with an 8-millimeter-sized hole in his head oozing a steady stream of thick blood. A wound meant for her.
The girl touched a hand to her cheek, which had suddenly warmed. It came back painted as red as the poppy fields back in Provence, France.
She began to tremble as shock overtook her.
Bucky swore under his breath, eyes wide as he took in their surroundings. Beneath him, the girl's eyes darkened in fear. She smeared the splatter of blood on her cheeks and stared at her fingers in horror.
"Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God." She kept muttering under her breath, eyes wide and lips quivering. "N-No. No. No. No."
All around Bucky, the soldiers ran, grabbing artillery and readying defences. "What the hell happened!?" he screamed. "We had a perimeter set up!" Underneath him, she shivered—out of shock or fear, he determined, rather than the cold.
"Those Nazi bastards were waiting to ambush us!" a voice shouted from amidst the chaos. "They knew we were coming!"
Another bullet whizzed past Bucky's head, embedding itself in the ground next to the girl's head. He jerked her away and swore. "Fuck!" She still trembled under him, muttering nonsense. He took her face in his hands, urging her to look at him. " Hey, darlin'? Doll, look at me."
Her eyes were glued to her shaky hands. "Oh God, no. No, I can't. I can't. I can't."
For a few seconds, Bucky froze above her—a few seconds too many—before his training kicked in. He needed to get her out of there. Bucky yanked her hands to the side and held her face in a bruising grip, forcing her to look at him.
"We're in a war zone right now." He said her name with fierce assurance. "The enemy isn't going to stop until we're all dead. I need you to remember the promise you made me this morning. You promised you wouldn't let anyone die—Hey!"
The girl tried peeking at the dead soldier beside her, but Bucky blocked her view.
"Don't look at him. Why are you looking at him? Look at me," he said. The girl whimpered, her eyes misting. "Look at me. That's not your fault."
She shook her head.
"—Hey! It's not. Those German bastards killed him, not you."
"That bullet was meant for me," she sobbed between breaths, "it should have hit me." The desperation in her voice cut him like a knife. He felt her fear as if it were his own.
"Don't you dare! Don't you fucking dare!" Under normal circumstances, Bucky would be concerned at the girl's lack of reaction to his cursing, but he had already spent too much time coddling her, and the men needed him. "I'm gonna go and avenge that soldier's death, darlin'," Buck shouted over the sound of battle. "I'm going to burn those Germans to the ground. I'm going to do my job, and you have to do yours."
She looked at him then, and Bucky exhaled gratefully at the clarity he saw in her eyes, hidden behind adrenaline and fear. She gave him a little nod and stifled her sobs. "I feel a little sick."
"Me too," said Bucky, hauling them both to their feet.
The second they were upright, Bucky yanked her behind a tree for cover against the onslaught of bullets raining down on them. "You have to run." He grabbed his rifle from behind his back and checked the ammunition.
"Bucky—"
"When I tell you to, I want you to run toward those trees over there," he pointed to a slight decline, where the trees were thicker and provided more cover, "and I want you to keep on running."
"Wait! No!"
"No matter what happens!" He would not look her in the eyes—Could not look her in the eyes. "You run until you reach the last marker—" Bucky took off his helmet and placed it on the girl's head, fastening it over her hat. "—about a mile and a half out—"
"Bucky, listen to me!"
But he would not listen to her. The girl kept calling him, but he ignored her. He knew his eyes would betray his fear if he did. And he knew that the terrified look that had most likely taken up residence on her face, would force him to lose the last of his sanity and carry her back to base. This war zone was the last place he wanted her.
"You stay there until someone comes for you, and you don't—"
"James!"
And there it was, that damned name. So absolutely dangerous when uttered by her lips. Time slowed for both of them as if the war had pressed pause. Sound faded, colours brightened, and for a few minuscule seconds Bucky and her existed in their own little world, where the blood on her hands was paint, and the look in his eyes was love and not fear.
Bucky looked down, expecting to see the girl hysterical and weeping. Instead, he saw something completely different. Her eyes were clear, the most they had been in weeks, terribly similar to the look she would get in camp when the life of a soldier was in her hands.
And when she spoke, there was determination in her voice. A promise. "You better come back in one piece for Steve." And he knew she meant, "be careful."
He blinked at her, once, then twice, ensuring there were no other hidden messages behind her words. "You better run fast." And she knew he meant, "I will."
The world around them came back into focus, and with a final tightening of her helmet, Bucky pushed her away, sending her running toward safety.
Thump. Thump. Thump.
How much time had passed? She couldn't be sure. Her boot-clad feet were numb from being buried in the snow, and her back was sore from chafing against the rough bark of a pine tree.
Thump. Thump. Thump.
How much time had passed? The sun had long since disappeared under the horizon. In its stead was the moon, still as big and beautiful as the night before. Was it privy to all the horrors the girl wasn't? Did it frown over the violence and brutality it witnessed, or did the inhumanity of the act make it shine brighter?
Thump. Thump. Thump.
How much time had passed? Above her, a bird chirped loudly, disturbed by the gunfire that seemed to grow closer as the moon rose higher in the sky. An hour? Two? It certainly felt like more.
Thump. Thump. Thump.
The girl placed a hand over her rapidly beating heart, patting her chest as a means to settle it. "It's okay," she whispered, afraid to voice her thoughts any louder. "It's okay."
She twisted her body around the thick trunk, peeking at the darkness beyond her hiding spot. Another jarring explosion, fake sounding and unreal, before the world quieted. Eerily so.
The bird above her stopped its music. The leaves stopped their little dance. The girl twisted fully, staring intently at the spot she had come running from before finding a temporary home against her tree. All felt normal—well, as normal as could be.
What was it that prompted her forward and on her feet? Bucky's instructions rang clear in her head. "You stay there until someone comes for you." No one was there for her, yet her feet began to move of their own volition. Perhaps at the persuasion of a greater force. Fear; she could taste it on her tongue.
Fear that made her keep going despite the ache in her limbs. Fear that numbed her skin against the sharp tendrils of wind cutting her face. Fear of the quiet. Of being alone. Of being without him.
"Bucky," her whisper echoed against the draught. "James," her heart bled through the frozen ground.
The stench hit her first. Her nose picked up on what her eyes could not. Rotting flesh, putrid and burnt. Sweat and vomit mixed in with the minerally dirt. Her tongue flared up next as copper permeated the rest of her senses, overwhelmingly strong. And the fear; she caught herself against a tree as it engulfed her, making her lose the contents of her stomach.
Thump. Thump. Thump.
The girl was at the edge of the clearing, with the gruesome scene of battle right in front of her. Her eyes moved fleetingly across everything, afraid of what she might find. What was once the site of a lively campsite was now demolished in a mess of guts and spoils.
The earth had turned over to create trenches and hiding spots. Dead bodies and dismembered limbs were scattered across the ground, decorating it with a gruesome excuse for peace.
It was quiet. Too quiet. The calm before the storm.
Thump. Thump. Thump.
She spotted movement from the corner of her eye, followed by a low groan of pain.
James. Her heart lurched.
A head of blonde curls bobbed from behind a mountain of dirt. The girl reached behind her for her pack, realizing it lay abandoned on the battlefield. She spotted it twenty-something meters away to her right.
Her eyes squeezed shut. The girl wasn't sure if it was safe to venture out, but it was so quiet, and still, she reasoned the worst of it had passed. She made up her mind; first, the pack, then the wounded soldier.
With her arms pumping rhythmically, she ran. Five, ten, fifteen meters out. The girl skid to a stop, bending to grab the pack. Instead, cold metal kissed her temple, and she stopped breathing.
Her terror-stricken eyes met dilated blue ones. Her pack perched on the edge of what resembled a small trench, hidden from the rest of the clearing. Several soldiers sat hunched over, brandishing various weapons. Bucky Barnes lowered his rifle as gut-wrenching fear overtook his face. He shook his head vigorously, reaching up to grab her, but she stumbled back on her arms, clutching the pack to her chest.
The girl swallowed the sob threatening to spill over. Bucky was alive and safe, though a bit roughed up. She looked to her left at the blonde soldier immobilized by his injury, and Bucky followed her gaze. She noticed the moment it clicked for him, and she made her decision on the spot. She only hoped her eyes accurately portrayed her feelings.
Bucky's mouth opened in a silent scream of her name, and he leapt from his spot, tossing his weapon to the side. Andrew Eaton grabbed Bucky by the shoulders and yanked him back to safety. The girl took that opportunity to scramble to her feet. Behind her, Bucky's muffled shout echoed in her ears.
"He's okay," she reassured herself. "Bucky's okay."
The wounded soldier was lying on his front, eyes closed and motionless. She fell to her knees, placing two fingers against his windpipe. There, faint and irregular, an indistinct pulse was striving to intensify.
The soldier was alive. Good, she thought, I can work with that. His dog tags peeked from under his coat: Matthew Miles Davidson. Frantic hands ran over his body, feeling for a wound. Her hand came away wet, and she discovered his pants soaked with blood. Bracing herself on her knees, the girl rolled Matthew over with a groan.
"Sorry," she whispered when he moaned in anguish. "I'm sorry." Producing a pocket knife, she cut the fabric away from his right thigh, displaying his injury. Puckered skin oozed a steady flow of red, painting her hands. She laced her fingers together and pressed against the opening, using her entire weight to stop the blood.
The girl's thoughts were in overdrive, swiftly taking in and storing information. No exit wound, meaning the bullet was still inside. Matthew was faintly moving, his chest rising and falling with every breath. The girl decided she would remove the bullet, bandaging the wound before dragging him past the trees for cover.
However, over the adrenaline rushing through her ears, she did not realize another fight had broken out. Someone shouted from a distance, and the girl pulled away, unbuckling Matthew's belt and folding it in half. She needed to clean his wound, and since the morphine was in a different pack, with the rest of the medicine, Matthew was going to feel everything.
He was slightly more lucid now, staring at her, so she grabbed his face and urged him to listen. "Bite down on this, Matthew." And he obediently followed her direction.
"Good, you're doing very good." She ran a hand over his hair, cooing with a sad smile. "Don't make any noise, okay?"
The girl retrieved a bottle of rubbing alcohol and a large roll of bandages. She had tweezers in her pack for removing the shell, needle and thread for the other gashes. Those she kept in the kit and moved out of the way. Uncapping the rubbing alcohol, she liberally poured some over her hands to sanitize them before positioning the bottle over the laceration.
"This is going to hurt," she warned Matthew before tipping the bottle over.
The second the ethanol breached his wound, Matthew let out an ear-splitting scream, despite the sound being muffled by his belt. He writhed on the ground, body spasming in pain.
His groans of agony cloaked the racket of the fight around her, making it so she couldn't hear the tank powering up.
"You're okay, Matthew!" she cried.
From her right, someone screamed, and a solid form collided with her, tackling her to the ground. The night sky turned a light blue, flashing white for a brief moment, and the girl raised her head. In her spot, where she sat just a second ago, tending to Matthew's wounds, was air. No supplies, no pack, and no Matthew. The only evidence that something, or someone, had been there was the roll of bandages in her hand and the blackened earth outlining the shape of a body.
Looking to her saviour, she didn't know if she should be grateful or ungrateful that her life was spared.
"You're okay!" Bucky cried, roaming his hands over her body, feeling if she was alive and well. "Fuck! I told you to fucking stay there!" He craned his neck to witness his men steadily losing ground, unmatched by the enemy and their technology.
When Bucky turned toward the girl, the fear in his eyes left her paralyzed. Panic-stricken hands ripped at her clothes, and at first, she was too shocked to react, but as the feeling returned to her limbs, she protested against him.
Bucky smeared a handful of dirt over her face, covering her eyes and lips. She clawed at his chest, trying to stop him, but he forced her back. They were still on the ground, him on top of her, leaving her immobilized.
Then he grabbed the bandages and lifted her undershirt to wrap her chest. "Stop," she whimpered. "Bucky, stop."
He didn't listen.
"James," she pleaded.
And there was that damned name again. Bucky stopped, looking into her eyes to see his terrified form reflected back. "We're losing," he rasped.
No further explanation was needed when Bucky looked at her like that. The girl heard all he wanted to say, saw all he wanted to do, and felt all he begged to show. She relaxed her body, giving him all her trust, and let him do what he did best.
That night the moon witnessed the girl surrendering to Bucky Barnes. That night, he saved her.
The air reeked of secretion. The girl didn't know why she found that detail so surprising. What else was a prison supposed to smell like if not human feces, fear and hopelessness?
She didn't remember the ride over. Shortly after surrendering, they were herded, like cattle, into armoured trucks. Masked men pulled her away from Bucky and tied her hands behind her back, shoving her into a separate truck.
The drive wasn't long, and in a few hours, they were stopping. When a guard pushed her and nine others into a dark cell, she fell to her knees and cried. Fortunately, Andrew Eaton was in the same cell as her, and he pulled the girl to him, muffling her sobs against his chest. Her high-pitched wailing was sure to catch someone's attention.
War was not kind to men, even less to young women. If they caught her, what would they do? She remembered the fear in Bucky's eyes as he frantically concealed the weight of her breasts, flattening them to resemble a man's. She decided she didn't want to find out.
The girl fell asleep in Andrew's arms wishing she was in Bucky's embrace instead. But Andrew was cold, and no matter how hard she tried, her imagination could not do Bucky justice.
In the morning, guards came for them. A burly-looking German soldier explained to her group in broken English that they were going to be put to work. Weapons manufacturing. "How does it feel?" he asked, "that we'll be killing your brothers with the weapons you make for us." They laughed amongst themselves, then pointed their guns at her and the prisoners, putting them to work.
Nights passed miserably. Andrew assured the girl Bucky was somewhere in the facility, in one of the cells scattered across the vast space, though that did little to calm her. She cried herself to sleep, body aching from the laborious work forced upon them.
By morning, the news spread. Men were being taken away.
A foul-faced officer was picking soldiers at random, plucking them away. "Hitler's right-hand man," someone sneered. "The devil incarnate," another cowered.
Andrew kept the girl tucked away against him, shielding her from wandering eyes. The dirt on her face had washed away, her hair loosened from her braid, bindings slack. She finally looked like a woman.
She saw the proof of it etched on Andrew's face when the guards came near. It was yet another night, and she was resting her head against the thick bars of the metal prison when she heard them. Andrew tried to hide her, but space was limited, and the devil's keen eye landed on her before she could move.
"What have we here?" A man with a drooping face and quizzical brow bent down to look at the girl. He grabbed her jaw in a rough grip through the bars when she attempted to crawl away. "Ah!" he exclaimed fervently, digging his nails into her skin until she whimpered. "A girl?"
His free hand went to her neck, dropping lower and lower until she protested, pushing him away. "No!"
The man raised a brow. "How did you manage to slip through, Mäuschen?" He gestured to the guards behind him, who marched forward to open the bars. "Let's find out, shall we?"
"Don't touch her, bastards!" Andrew shouted, pulling her back.
The girl wanted to stop him, but she became paralyzed with fear. The men had guns and long sticks—Andrew had nothing but his wits about him and a pair of worn fists.
The next few events happened in quick succession. A muscle in the devil's face twitched, his smile momentarily dropping, which he swiftly schooled. "Das Mäuschen has a protector? What a waste." He shrugged carelessly. "No matter. Always more where he came from."
A bang resounded, and Andrew fell backwards, eyes wide and unmoving. Someone screamed, loud and shrill. It wasn't until a guard whisked the girl away that she realized it was her screaming.
The prisoners shouted in protest as she passed by them. From amongst the hoard of fury, a pair of blue eyes met hers, two hands grasped cool metal, and two lips parted to call out her name. The girl craned her neck to look, but heavyset doors closed behind her before the voice could reach her ears.
She closed her eyes to block out her surroundings, and when she finally reopened them, it was the next day.
His name was Arnim Zola—Dr. Arnim Zola—and he was a scientist working for HYDRA. That's where they were held captive, the Doctor divulged, at one of the many facilities HYDRA owned across the continent.
The Doctor passionately described the importance of the work done at HYDRA while the girl was bound to an exam table. "How lucky that you will not only be alive to see HYDRA shine, but you will also take part in it." He checked the girl's pulse, jotting something down on a clipboard. "We lost many of the men. They all fight the effects. It will be interesting to see how a woman fares, don't you think?"
She was too tired to struggle, and when the Doctor injected a burning liquid in her veins, she found she was too tired to scream.
The world turned black.
When she came to, however long later, Dr. Zola was hunched over his desk, shuffling through papers while muttering under his breath. "How is this possible? I gave her a larger dose."
The burning had turned to ice in her veins, and she shook violently against her restraints as she shivered. "Please..."
"I don't understand. Are you sweating it off?" Then he hummed. "I will need more tests." And her world turned black once again.
How much time had passed? Days? Weeks? Months? The girl could not be sure of anything other than that the cold in her veins had found a home in her heart.
"Immune," she heard the Doctor repeat. "Nothing is working."
She was counting the marks on the wall of the tiny room she was locked in when Dr. Zola approached her one day. "Herr Schmidt wants me to dispose of you," he told her. "But I think you can serve us yet."
She turned away from him and closed her eyes, trying to ignore him.
"That prisoner. What was his name? The one who died protecting you?"
Andrew. The girl opened her eyes and looked at Dr. Zola with distrust.
"He made me wonder if the others would do the same."
"They won't," she told him, trying to hide her desperation. "I'm only a nurse."
Dr. Zola snickered mischievously, slowly backing out of the small room. "We will see about that."
That night they brought the first prisoner. Someone she did not recognize. "Do as I say, and the girl will remain unharmed."
He spat on Arnim Zola's face. "Go to hell, you son of a bitch!"
The Doctor wiped away the drool with a wry smile, gesturing to the soldiers holding the girl still. "No!" she managed to shout before they plunged her face into a bucket of ice water.
She held her breath at first, hoping to bide some time before they pulled her out, but as her heart raced and the grip on her arms tightened, she couldn't help it any longer. She began to thrash, shaking and sputtering as the water invaded her lungs.
After what felt like an eternity, she tasted fresh air, heaping lungfuls to ease the burn in her throat.
The prisoner thrashed against his restraints, screaming profanities into the air as Dr. Zola injected him with a blue substance.
"Stop resisting!" the Doctor demanded. "You'll ruin the transformation!" He turned toward the girl. "Do you want her to die?" he asked the prisoner. "They'll kill her."
The prisoner screamed louder.
"Again!" Dr. Zola ordered.
The girl managed to take a deep breath before they plunged her into the water again, not that it helped. The torture went on for the rest of the night. By the last hour, the prisoner had died, lying in a pool of vomit.
The next night they brought the second prisoner. Someone she did recognize. "Do as I say, and the girl will remain unharmed."
"Jeremy? No!" the girl began to cry. "No, not him!"
"Miss?" Jeremy looked at Dr. Zola with indignation. "Let her go."
"Do as I say," Zola repeated, "and I will."
"Go to hell."
And so it began.
Though, It did not last very long. When the girl screamed for the first time, Jeremy Bradshaw gave in. "I'll do it. I'll do anything. Just let the lady go."
Zola smiled victoriously. "Now, that wasn't so hard. Was it?"
A few hours later, Jeremey's heart gave out.
"He was weak," Zola proclaimed. "We need someone stronger."
The next night they brought the third prisoner. Someone she knew.
The girl had prepared herself this time. She wouldn't cry or scream out; she would fight! But none of it mattered when she saw the person standing before her.
War was not kind to men, and this one was proof of it. His hair was longer, touching the tips of his ears, and a light beard covered most of his face, making him almost unrecognizable. Almost. His piercing blue eyes stayed the same.
"James," she whispered. Tears gathered in her eyes, waiting for the moment he saw her.
"Do as I say, and the girl will remain unharmed."
Bucky screamed the moment he did, mouth open in rage. The girl wondered what he saw when he looked at her. Was she as haggard in appearance as him? She sure felt it.
Bucky threw the soldiers off him, shouting her name as he ran toward her. He came to a halt when someone put a gun to her head, and the soldiers took the opportunity to restrain him once again.
"Yes, you are strong, indeed. Now, will you do as I say?" Zola asked.
"Eat shit, cocksucker."
Bucky was being so strong. So could she.
When the soldiers grabbed the girl, she was ready. She kicked one of them between the legs, and when he loosened his hold, she bit the hand on her shoulder. She must have made it two steps before they restrained her again.
She heard the buzz before she could feel it, and an unbridled scream left her. Electricity travelled up her spine, burning a pathway through her nerves. Her muscles went lax, and she fell, convulsing on the cold floor.
"No," she whimpered as they administered another shock through a small black device. But they were unrelenting, kicking her half-conscious form while she was down.
Bucky roared in rage while they abused her, but he could do nothing but watch as they gave her another electric shock.
"I'll kill you sons of bitches! I'll fucking kill you!"
Zola injected Bucky with the blue liquid. "Relax your muscles! Let the transformation take over."
"Fuck. You!" Bucky seethed.
The girl crawled toward him from her position on the ground, dragging herself by her nails. The soldiers followed leisurely, laughing at her pathetic attempt. The next shock made her throw up. Bile and stomach acid; since she hadn't been able to keep anything else down.
"She'll die, Soldier," Zola warned Bucky. "There's only so much a person can take."
Bucky stopped thrashing, briefly looking at the girl before addressing the Doctor. "What will you do to her?" he asked, unconcerned for himself.
"Bucky, no."
"Will you hurt her?"
Zola smiled, knowing he had won. "As long as you do as I say, I promise she will remain unharmed."
The girl began to cry. "Don't give up, Bucky. I can take it."
"—No, she can't," Zola interrupted.
"James!"
Their eyes met, and the girl knew Bucky had made up his mind. "I'll do anything." He slumped against his restraints, giving over his control. Before the Soldiers dragged her away, Bucky mouthed three words that shattered her completely. "I love you."
The doors closed before she could mouth it back.
Bucky Barnes was in shock. He had to be. That was the only reason he was on his feet after a week of hell, feeling only slightly bruised and fatigued. Yes, it was the shock that kept him moving, and not whatever it was the Doctor injected in him.
"Did it hurt?" Bucky asked, only slightly stumbling.
"A little," replied Steve Rogers. The same Steve Rogers Bucky remembered being at least two heads shorter.
"Is this permanent?" Bucky took in the striped shield, the muscles hidden by leather.
"So far."
Bucky chuckled, pressing his chest to feel his heart beating wildly within.
"The exit's through here," Steve gestured.
Bucky pulled him back. "Wait. I have to find someone first."
"Who?"
Bucky stared at his friend for a moment, hesitating. Steve didn't know the girl was with him. She never told anyone where she was deployed. Bucky whispered her name before clearing his throat and saying it louder.
He saw the surprise on Steve's face slowly morph into determination. "What are we waiting for, then? Let's get her."
They found her quickly. She was in an unmarked room on the second floor, hiding underneath a small blanket. Steve stayed behind, and Bucky entered the dark space with careful steps.
He heard the girl whimper in protest and scurry closer to the wall. "Not again. Please!"
Bucky bent down, and what he saw made him pause. He almost didn't recognize the girl with her sunken face and pale skin. She had lost weight, and her clothes were hanging off of her, but her eyes were what broke him. Wide and distrustful. Lifeless.
Bucky wiped his tears away, determined to stay strong. "Come here. I've got you."
The girl crawled farther away as if trying to embed herself in the wall. Bucky grabbed her face with both hands. "Look at me. Hey! Look at me, doll. It's Bucky."
She finally met his eyes, and Bucky saw the moment she recognized him. "James?" she sobbed, clutching his shirt in a weak grip. "You're here!"
Bucky lifted the girl in his arms, keeping her close to his chest. The first thing he noticed was how cold she was; the second was that she weighed almost nothing. When Bucky stumbled out, unsteady on his feet, Steve grabbed her from him, exchanging the shield for her. "Reserve your energy. We've got a long way to go."
"Steven? Am I dreaming?"
Steve laughed sadly. "No."
"You're big now," she sighed. "What happened?"
Steve shrugged. "I joined the army."
"I always knew you would."
They all laughed, happy for a moment that they were reunited. But danger was near, Bucky could feel it, and his smile dropped. Around them, parts of the building exploded, making the ground shake.
"Quick! Through here!" Steve shouted, taking two steps at a time, and Bucky tried his best to keep up. They were so close. He could feel it.
"Captain America!" A voice shouted, stopping them. "How exciting!"
Steve lowered the girl to her feet, grabbing his shield from Bucky and taking a fighting stance.
When Bucky realized who the strange voice belonged to, he pulled the girl behind him, shielding her from view. It was him, the man who dragged her away all those days ago. Bucky couldn't tell then, but it was apparent now that he was a high-ranking officer. Perhaps the mastermind behind this whole operation. Zola stood next to him, cowering behind a large briefcase.
"I am a great fan of your films!" mocked Johann Schmidt. "So, Dr. Erskine managed it after all. Not exactly an improvement, but still, impressive."
Steve and Schmidt were at arm's length, and the Captain did not hesitate to swing at Schmidt. The man stumbled back, clutching his face in surprise.
"You've got no idea," Steve huffed.
"Haven't I?" And Schmidt took a swing of his own, putting a fist-sized dent in Captain America's shield.
"Steve!" The girl screamed from behind Bucky.
The two began to fight, and Bucky had to keep her from running toward their friend. "He's got it," he told her; and he did.
Steve kicked Schmidt, sending him back a few feet, and Zola stepped forward. He pressed a button that collapsed the bridge Steve was on.
"No matter what lies Erskine told you," Schmidt exclaimed. "You see, I was his greatest success!" He peeled the skin off his face, revealing red flesh underneath.
"You don't have one of those, do you?" Bucky found himself asking, a bit dizzy from the incident. He held the girl tighter against him when she started shaking like a leaf.
Schmidt made a closing remark that went over Bucky's head, and he and Zola left. An explosion caused the trio to stumble, forcing Steve into action. "Come on, let's go. Up."
Bucky pulled the girl along, and they went up a floor, stopping in front of a metal beam.
"Let's go. One at a time," Steve urged, helping Bucky over the railing.
"What are you doing?" the girl shouted over the loud explosions.
"There's no other way!" Bucky told her. "Stay behind me."
Steve helped her over the railing next, and Bucky grabbed her.
"I can't!" she shook. "I'll fall."
Bucky pulled her close. "Don't look down. Why are you looking down? Look at me."
"No!"
"Yes! One step at a time, alright? Steve's right behind you." The beam quaked with every step, but Bucky did not slow down. He tossed the girl over the railing and leaped the rest of the way; right before the beam fell from underneath him.
Bucky's stomach dropped. There was no way for Steve to cross. "There's gotta be a rope or something!"
"Just go!" Steve cried. "Get out of here!"
"No! Not without you!"
Steve hesitated before backing up as far as he could and making a run for it. Bucky's stomach dropped, thinking Steve wouldn't make it, but then he emerged from the smoke and landed safely on his feet. The trio ran.
The half-moon was low in the sky when they made camp after two day's journey. It was late, and the prisoners were tired. Bucky made his rounds, checking the perimeter and the tents for anything suspicious.
The Battle of Azzanno was still fresh in his mind, and despite Steve's reassurances, Bucky could not let down his guard.
"How is she?" Steve asked Bucky.
Bucky didn't know the answer. "She won't talk to me," he said frustratedly. "She says she's fine, but I can see she isn't."
Steve sighed, having expected that answer. "And how are you?"
"Me?"
"Yeah. You both went through something traumatic." Steve grabbed Bucky's shoulder. "Talk it out, why don't you?" and left with a reassuring smile.
Bucky found the girl in one of the smaller tents, huddled in the corner for warmth.
"I was waiting for you," she admitted.
Bucky let a small smile grace his lips. They had come a long way. "Not too long, I hope."
"Very long," she rebutted. "I'm all cold."
Something in the girl's expression hinted at something deeper, something permanent. A rawness that she couldn't hide. It made Bucky's eyes burn. "Let me warm you up then." He fell to his knees and embraced her, holding her trembling body as tightly as he could.
The girl craned her neck and looked at Bucky with teary eyes. "Are you okay?"
Bucky took a second because he didn't know. Was he okay? He adjusted his hold until the girl was in his lap, snug against his front. "No, I'm not," he decided. "But as long as you're here, I will be."
Her hair was open, so Bucky put his forehead against the soft strands and closed his eyes. "Are you okay?"
The girl took a shuddering breath. "I—I was scared, and I—" She sobbed once, then twice. "No, I'm not okay!" And she began to weep. Agonizing sobs shook her entire body.
Bucky held on tight, whispering reassurances until, however long later, she eventually settled. "But I will be," she hiccuped.
The two sat silently for a while before she shifted to face him. Bucky wrapped an arm around her waist to keep her steady and caressed her face. "I love you," he whispered, leaning in until their noses brushed.
Her eyes pierced his, conveying all she felt, and she softened in his arms. "James."
And there was that damned name again. Bucky pulled her toward him, closing the small distance between their lips.
Oh, she was soft, putty under his skilled mouth. He groaned, pressing closer until the only thing separating them were clothes. "Sweetheart." He tasted her lips with his tongue, asking for permission which she swiftly granted.
"James," she whimpered against him, clawing at his jacket for purchase. They kissed until she became breathless, reluctantly pulling away with a moan to fill her lungs.
Bucky felt his heart beating out of his chest. "I'm here," he vowed, "I'm right here. Never leaving you again."
Her pleasure-stricken face met his with an intensity that left him more breathless than her lips had. "James, I love you."
And Bucky knew in his soul that all would be well. He took her lips once again, sealing his promise with a kiss.
Ao3│Wattpad│Ko-fi
Main Masterlist
Comments and Reblogs are greatly appreciated!! 💜
@marvelatthetwilight @hallecarey1 @ria132love
#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes one shot#bucky barnes imagine#bucky barnes fanfiction#bucky barnes x female reader#40s!bucky#40s!bucky x reader#nurse!reader#bucky barnes x nurse!reader#40s!bucky x nurse!reader#bucky barnes angst#my writing#look at me fic
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𝙤𝙣𝙚𝙨𝙝𝙤𝙩 𝙛𝙞𝙘 𝙧𝙚𝙘 : 𝙈𝙖𝙧𝙘𝙝
masterlist | monthly fic rec masterlist
FLUFF
Unexpected by @pellucid-constellations (Army Vet!Bucky)
I’m here by @sweetdreamsbuck
Two Syllables by @coffee-with-bucky (dad!bucky)
i’ll fight for you, always by @insomniumstella
hot chocolate by @/insomniumstella
Muse by @navybrat817 (artist!bucky)
butterfly by @idy-ll-ique (alpha!bucky)
a misunderstanding by @traitorjoelite (40s!bucky)
the forever third wheels by @witchywithwhiskey
You and Him by @whitewinter-wolf
Heal Me With Your Love by @/whitewinter-wolf
The Lost Converse by @firefly-in-darkness
Make Yourself At Home by @/navybrat817
Soft Kisses by @eviesaurusrex
Short Stuff by @youlightmeupfinn
Pie by @themorningsunshine (mob!bucky x baker!reader)
thirst trap and the trapped by @lovelybarnes
viral by @/lovelybarnes
Sex-Ed by @dilemmaontwolegs
Water Bottle by @cloudybarnes
Drive-ins & Earthquakes by @venusstorm
Warrior/Worrier by @delaber (hurt/comfort)
Sharing is Caring by @theidiotwhowritesthings
With Love by @jobean12-blog (CEO!bucky)
Face it, this is Love! by @/jobean12-blog
Fall Leaves by @bucksangel
Good For You by @bucksangel (tattoo artist!reader)
Shrapnel by @real-jane (doctor!reader)
Date With Ducky by @pepperonijem (bartender!bucky)
Recluse by @mymoonagedaydream (vet!bucky)
Stalker by @you-are-my-sanctuary
Hopelessly Devoted by @espinosaurusrexex
Go Baby, Go by @rookthorne (mechanic!bucky)
ANGST
Counting by @/pellucid-constellations
he’s fine by @bethdutten
Someone’s there. by @d0wnb4df0rf1cm3n
Seven Seconds by @/dilemmaontwolegs
End Of The Line by @/dilemmaontwolegs (nurse!reader)
push his buttons by @mvtthewmurdvck
Barista Beau‘s by @jadedvibes (lawyer!bucky)
Protector by @buckybabesonly
Follow You Home by @navybrat817 (dark!bucky)
Send Me An Angel by @/navybrat817 (dark!bucky)
SMUT
car ride by @/insomniumstella
Everybody wants a taste by @/navybrat817 (Rockstar!Bucky)
Spring Chicken by @thenhewaswrongaboutme
Locked by @/thenhewaswrongaboutme
Party for Two by @geeky-politics-46
save me darling, for you are my salvation by @rxgerthatt
Lost To The Woods by @sidepartskinnyjeans (Fairytale AU)
Long Hair and Tattoos by @/sidepartskinnyjeans (brother’s best friend!bucky)
Double-Take by @little-golden-age (photographer!bucky)
Between the Shelves by @law-nerd (librarian!bucky)
we can make it till the end by @sinner-as-saint (older!reader)
Call Shot by @threeminutesoflife (dark!reader)
#bucky barnes fic rec#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes x y/n#bucky barnes x you#bucky barnes x f!reader#bucky barnes smut#winter soldier x reader#bucky barnes oneshot#bucky barnes fluff#bucky barnes angst#dad!bucky#rockstar!bucky#alpha!bucky#40s!bucky#bucky barnes 40s au#boyfriend!bucky#bucky barnes x nurse!reader#lawyer!bucky#brothers best friend!bucky#photographer!bucky#ceo!bucky#librarian!bucky#bucky x tattoo artist!reader#bucky x doctor!reader#bartender!bucky#vet!bucky#veteran!bucky#dark!bucky#bucky x milf!reader#mechanic!bucky
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Monster Monday!!
Hellhound!Johnny Storm and his Petal🌸
or Reaper Bucky with Doctor! reader?
I love the idea of reaper/death!Bucky
Hard To Say Hello
His breath hadn’t come easily to him. It had caught painfully and tightly in his throat and his eyes had been in a constant battle between focused and unfocused as he looked through the glass toward a woman standing in a pair of dark scrubs. He had known her even without knowing her name or her story because it was his endless curse. It was the damned twist of endless ages to know this woman who was both a stranger and his longest lover.
He was the figure, the creature, so many men had wanted to curse and kill. He was the man whose job was to bring peace to death, and the turmoil or anguish. He was the creature who was destined to find his soulmate, his longest lover, in the hopes that she wouldn’t be extinguished again.
He had never once accomplished what he had dreamed of, his darling love had always been wiped out before he could truly know her as he wished. She was always gone and eradicated unfairly to the tune of his broken heart.
“You’re Death,” he had once been told many ages ago, “Death should not be able to feel love.”
He watched her in her scrubs. He had watched her gather her coffee and her stethoscope, and follow the other nurses she was with, a fitting career for a woman like her.
If Bucky Barnes was the embodiment of Death and destruction, then you were the tender touch of love and care. You had a bleeding heart, it was in your veins in every possible lifetime and embodiment that you’d been thrust into. You were the true love of his life, you were the true mate that he had never truly got to keep.
“Death should not be able to feel love.” He was close, like the curse of the Beast and Belle, Bucky needed you to love him.
Wholly and intimately, even deeper than the fairytale had told.
He needed you to survive; he needed you for you to survive and finally give him the life he had always deramed of and wanted.
He was going to do it this round, he was going to suceed and then the two of you would finally be together like he had always intended.
“Excuse me,” Bucky had stepped behind you, the introduction has to come first, “you dropped something.”
He handed the ID card you’d need back to you, studying the boldened nurse designation near the top, and the smile you had given him in exchange was lovely. Just as he had remembered.
“Thank you…?” You slipped the card back in your pocket, an opening for him to take.
“Bucky.” He answered clear, holding back his hope. “Bucky Barnes.”
“Y/N.” You held your hand out for him to shake, and he felt life and warmth coursing through you. “Y/N L/N.”
“Can I walk you back to the hospital?” He jumped right in, he had to.
“I’d love that.”
#monster monday#monster monday au#death!Bucky Barnes x life!Reader#death!Bucky Barnes#Bucky Barnes x nurse!Reader
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WWII!Bucky x Nurse!Reader
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 out of 3
Summary: A story about you and Bucky's growing relationship and how you ended up together.
Even though Bucky is back in the camp, he has not woken up and you still find yourself missing his voice. Without his jokes, his sincerity, his kindness, the war is getting to you, depressing you. He is the only one to keep you grounded and distracted from the real world. Steve has been by your side all the while though, trying to cheer you up, but it is not the same.
Slowly you realized you are in love with him. Everything about him. You love how he treats you with respect and love, a way no man treats a lady these days. You love that he sees you as a strong individual who can carry herself, not as some trophy like all men have seen you so far. You love how he guards you when men try to hit on you. How he usually shoos them away with a threat. You love how he smiles at you when you laugh and the goofy way he wears his hat. You even loves the way he chastises you when you get in trouble. Most importantly, you love him.
You grip Bucky's hand once again as you sit next to him. When you aren't working or sleeping, it is always where you can be found.
You rub your thumb over his hand and Steve draws in his book, sitting in a chair beside you.
"Are you two going steady?" Steve questions suddenly. You feel your cheeks heat up, as you look at Bucky and let out a small laugh.
"Something like that. We really just flirted I guess." You sigh heavily, you know the moment he wakes up you're going to make sure he knows about your feelings. Or at least soon after.
"I better not find you two meatballs around a Hydra base ever again. Especially you (y/n). You're not even trained for that." Your eyes light up and Bucky's grip on your hand tightens. You feel so at ease to feel him respond to your touch for once. It's surprising all of the emotions one man can evoke from you.
You help Bucky sit up on his pillow, and he quickly perks up, he seems back to normal even.
"How are you feeling?" Steve questions as he closes his sketch book.
"A little beat up, but I'll be fine. Don't think you two are getting out of my lecture now. Steve why did you let (y/n) go along? She could have gotten killed or--" Knowing Bucky can go on with his lecture forever, Steve quickly cuts him off.
"Wait. So you never jumped from a plane before?" Steve looks at you with innocent disbelief. You give Bucky a weak smile as he quickly snaps his attention towards you. You cannot help but laugh at his reaction.
"You jumped from a plane!" Bucky yells as he looks like he might pass out from just the though of you being in such a dangerous situation.
"What–what am I going to do with you two?" Bucky questions with a chuckle as he pinches the bridge if his nose and shakes his head. "Both of you are reckless meatballs who search for trouble." Steve laughs proudly at his friend's comment and you rub Bucky's hand. Buck gives you a sweet smile and you feel butterflies form in your stomach. He has the most charming smile you have ever seen, it never gets old to you.
"Let's get you on your feet soldier." You mock with a smile. Steve is immediately there to help steady his best friend. After a couple steps, Bucky proves that he can manage on his own. He only has a slight wobble to his step. Steve smiles at the two of you, seeming to understand what is going on.
"I have to go now to get a new assignment. I will see you at lunch." Steve strolls off, but not before secretly giving Bucky a thumbs up with a proud smile.
"So doll, you miss me?" Bucky questions in a smooth tone as he gives you a flirty gaze. You can tell this flirting is much different from the playful ones that usually go on between the two of you. This flirting is genuine as he seems nervous.
"I did miss you Bucky." You say, stepping closer to him. His cheeks become red and he looks away from you awkwardly. He did not expect you to respond like that. You find his sudden, uncharacteristic shyness attractive. It meant that he cared about you, he wants to impress you. Bucky tries to salvage his charm and puts on his signature smirk again.
"I think I've earned that kiss." Tension rises as Bucky pulls you even closer to him, he rests his hands on your hips.
"Last time I checked I was the one who saved your life." You tease, while you drape your hands over his shoulder.
"Well. I saved you from having another boring day." You find yourself staring at his lips as his breath becomes uneven. You swallow hard before replying.
"I guess that does deserve something." You softly place your lips on his and he is careful with his warm kiss. It's full of caring love as he softly moves his soft lips against yours. The kiss soon picks up as you kiss harder and more passionately. You slowly pull away and immediately miss the contact.
#bucky barnes x nurse!reader#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes x you#x reader#avengers fanfiction#WWII!Bucky Barnes x reader#fanfic#bucky barnes fluff
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40s Sergeant Barnes with a nurse and a Sergeant kink (and breeding and house wife kink, virginity loss). This was supposed to be a pure smutty drabble but then I got in my feelings and added some fluff and angst but I promise Bucky is still a dirty, nasty little fuck in this. Just with a sweeter ending. The one he deserves.
Listen just imagine what a cute, sexy menace Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes would be just waking up from an injury when his eyes flutter open to the pretty nurse he’s been eyeing from the day he started. You’re not a shy, dainty little thing, nope. Not at all.
You bark out orders like a drill Sergeant and one glare from you is all it takes to get everyone in line and on task without a second thought. Even his superiors are scared of you, biting their tongue when you stitch them up and send them on their way before running off to your next patient.
Bucky was in love.
“Well aren’t you a sight for sore eyes” he rasps, throwing you a charming smirk while you roll your eyes in response, shaking your head. "How'd I get so lucky, got a my little angel tendin' to me"
“I see your injury hasn’t stopped hurt that mouth of yours Sergeant" You quirk an eyebrow while he playfully huffs as you change the dressing covering a gash on his abdomen. You swab the area clean and he doesn't flinch even though you know it must burn like hell, his muscles tensed while he continues to watch you with heart eyes. "Now you know I'm not your little angel, I got 20 other men to fix up, you better be out of this bed as soon as you're all healed up"
“C’mon sugar, you're breakin' my heart" Bucky gives you a little pout with those perfect lips and you catch the twinkle in his eye as he looks over your form with complete admiration. He loved your sassy, take no shit attitude and it's taking everything in him to calm himself down so he doesn't get a hard on right there in front of you.
"You'd tell that to a cat with three legs if it was in a nurses outfit" You try your best to not give into his flirty comments and puppy eyes, knowing damn well he's a heart breaker but he makes it so difficult when he continues to woo you with his boyish charm.
He can't help but chase after you; catching the way your eyes always dart around with anxiety when his group returns from an operation, relief flooding them when you finally spot him. He loves your indifferent attitude, patting him down to make sure he's uninjured but your furrowed brows and the tiny pout on your lips give away that you're worried.
How can he just let you go. Every time you check over him, he needs you closer.
So much closer.
-
"Ms. y/l/n, Sergeant Barnes is requesting you in his tent, he says it's urgent"
You shake your head looking over at the time, quietly making your way over to the tent he's stationed at, thankful that a number of troops were sleeping so you wouldn't be seen as you quickly slip inside.
“And what hurts now” you sass with your hands on your hips seeing the soldier in perfect health, doing your best to assess him without letting him know.
"Always checkin' over me" Bucky chuckles, seeing what you're doing; his words making your cheeks heat up, "Knew you cared about me sugar"
"Well what am I doin' here" You give him an unconvincing huff, struggling to keep your voice steady, refusing to meet his eyes, keeping your gaze on his silver dog tags instead. It doesn't help that he's handsome as hell with a light dusting of scruff covering his cheeks. Bucky's never seen you flustered before and it evokes something in him, all the blood in his body rushing south seeing your fingers twitch.
All he wanted to do was kiss you but now-
“Help your Sergeant out doll” He whispers, taking another step forward till his chest brushes against yours, his hand coming to tilt your chin up, "Will you?"
You gasp feeling his hardness press against your thigh, your heart fluttering wildly as his thumb traces your lips, any semblance of control you had slipping away feeling the warmth of his skin.
“Y-yes Sergeant Barnes”
His lips press against yours, soft and sweet, a stark contrast to the way his body was screaming for him to pick you up and toss you onto his cot.
"Sweet like sugar" He lets his hands fall to your waist, pulling you flush against his body while your arms drape on top of his shoulders. You stand on your toes chasing more of his lips and he chuckles at the needy whine you let out when he pulls away for air.
Now let's say your first night together was actually quite tame. He kisses you again and you swoon when he repeatedly checks in with you before going any further. His hand slips under your skirt, letting his fingers toy with places no on else has touched. With each night, he needs you more and more until he can't hold off any longer and neither can you.
-
You sneak into his tent and this time he doesn't hesitate to undress you completely, not when he needs you bare with nothing separating you both. You feel your heart race as he lies on top of you, draping a thin sheet over himself when you shiver at the chill night air. You feel his body heat instantly warm you up, his heavy cock resting between your soaked folds.
"Are you sure, sugar?" He asks, his hand cupping your cheek and stroking your skin.
"Please Sergeant" You whisper and the way you say his title makes his cock twitch. There's something so different about you when you're in his bed, a sweet little bunny giving herself to him completely. It drives him feral with a need to make you feel good, make you cry for his cock and his cock only, to keep you nice and full of him.
You don't look twice at anyone else and here you are completely naked in his tent with your tight little virgin cunt, your legs spread open so he can put his dick in you; there was no way he was ever going to let you go.
"You tell me if it's too much, alright?" His lips tickle your neck as kisses your skin while rubbing his heavy cock through your folds, coating it in your slick, "Breathe for me"
He slips his tags into your mouth as he starts to press in, the initial sting making you bite down hard onto the metal feeling a mix of pleasure and pain. You whine at the way he stretches you open, your thighs squeezing around his waist, nails digging into his shoulders.
"Shhh, that's it love, doin' so good for me so good for your Sergeant, look how you're takin' all of me baby" He looks down to where you're both connected as he continues to slowly push himself in till hes fully sheathed inside you. He gives you time to adjust, slipping his tags out of your lips and letting his tongue lace with yours instead, his balls already throbbing with how tightly you were squeezing his cock.
"Please-Sergeant" your heels press into his ass desperate for him to move, gasping when he starts to slowly roll his hips, barely pulling out.
"I got you love-don't worry" Bucky moves as slowly as he could not wanting to hurt you, taking just as much care of you as you had with him countless of times.
But he can only keep up at that pace for so long. Your muffled whines and moans don't help the way his mind is already spiraling. His pretty little nurse all spread out just for him, taking his raw, bare cock in her soaking pussy, squeezing him so tight, he was only a few strokes from cumming.
If it were up to him he would've proposed on the spot, thinking about making love to you on your wedding night, seeing you all shy and sweet wrapped up in soft white lace. If you were his wife, he'd take you apart every which way, not giving a fuck about traditions, taking you right on the dining room table.
You'd be the prettiest little thing for him to come home to, such a good wife all dirty just for her husband. Only he'd know the way your mouth would slobber all over his cock like your life depended on it. The way you'd moan at the taste of his cum. Bucky's eyes rolled back at the thought of you with nothing but some heels and a string of pearls he'd put around your neck while he stuffed you with cum and emptied his balls in you.
"S-Sergeant-I-oh god" You whimpered feeling his cock grow harder, your pussy pulling him right back in, feeling the coil low in your belly pull tighter and tighter as he hit that spot.
Meanwhile Bucky's jaw clenched as he felt his balls pull tight to his body, the tip leaking steadily in your pussy. His mind spiraled into places he didn't think would exist before he met you, rogue thoughts he only entertained when he had his dick in his hand. The harder he fucked you the more he thought about how gorgeous you'd look with a swollen belly.
Fuck, imagine if he got you pregnant right then and there. That nurses uniform would no longer fit you. Everyone would know he knocked you up, your perfectly round tummy carrying Sergeant James Barnes' baby, breasts heavy with milk, God, he wasn't going to last-
“Gonna let your Sergeant pump you full of cum?” He pants, letting his hands grip onto your hips like his life depends on it, the wiry hair at the base of his cock rubbing against your clit.
“Yes!!” You sob, biting down onto his shoulder to keep your cries down while he continues to fuck you into oblivion. You don't understand how such filth can spew from that pink, pouty little mouth of his. "Please-please-need-youI-I'm gonna-"
"M'yours sweet girl, m'all yours, go on, cum for me love, cum on my cock, it's all yours" He gazed into your eyes, cooing at your parted lips and sweat slicked skin. It didn't take long for you to shatter around him his lips smashing against yours to swallow your moans.
"Want your cum Sergeant" You beg , desperate to have him claim you from the inside.
"Oh fuck baby, y-you can't say that, m-gonna, oh fuckkk" Your words throw Bucky right off the edge as he lets out a deep groan stilling his hips and shooting endless ropes of his spend into you. You both lay in comfortable silence, your fingers playing with his hair; his usual kempt brown locks now disheveled .
“Y’know m’gonna marry you” his scruffy cheek nuzzles into your neck as he continues to stay deep inside you as his cock softens, “after all this is over. Gonna put a ring on that finger”
His words send a different wave of emotions over you, feeling more safe than ever, clinging onto him as tightly as possible. You let a whimper slip out and he pulls away from your neck with an expression of concern.
“What is it love” Bucky coos, wiping away the tears that slip you, stroking your cheek while you bite back a sniffle.
“Do you mean it? After this is all over?” You weren't sure what Bucky would want-there was still a war going on. Anything could happen. Perhaps this was just to keep his bed warm. Something to keep him calm, you were just someone to-
"Of course sugar" Bucky presses a firm kiss to your forehead, silencing the thoughts that tried to run wild. "You're mine"
-
And of course he gets his happy ending. Because when it's all over, he gets the ring for the girl he loves. He's on one knee, proposing to you with the sweetest words. He treats you like a princess on your wedding night, making love all night long until the sun is up.
There isn't a surface in the house he's left untouched. Nothing makes him more feral than moaning for his pretty wife, constantly taking her hand and wrapping it around his cock, watching that diamond glint with each stroke.
It doesn't take long for you to feel a little squeamish, knowing all the tell tale signs.
The day you tell him he's going to be a dad is one of the happiest days of his life. There isn't a single night that goes by where he isn't nuzzling his face into your tummy, talking to your little one.
Everything was perfecttt.
#40s bucky barnes#40s bucky#40's bucky#40s bucky barnes x reader#bucky banes fluff#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes x nurse reader#bucky barnes#james bucky buchanan barnes#james buchanan barnes#james bucky barnes#bucky barnes x you#bucky barnes x reader smut#bucky barnes x reader fluff#bucky barnes smut#bucky barnes imagine#bucky barnes fanfiction#bucky barnes fan fiction#bucky barnes fan fic#bucky barnes fanfic#bucky fan fic#bucky fan fiction#bucky fanart#bucky fanfic#bucky barnes fic#bucky barnes x y/n#bucky barnes x female reader#bucky x reader#bucky x you#bucky x smut
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Healing Hearts
Summary: your typical enemies to lovers plot, except it’s only one-sided… and Y/n's Bucky's physical therapist/nurse.
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Fem!Nurse!Reader
Warning(s): brooding Bucky, mentions of physical therapy, other than that nothing else I can think of...
Bucky Barnes had always been a solitary man. He preferred to keep to himself and avoid unnecessary interactions with others. So when he woke up in a hospital room, with a perky nurse named Y/n assigned to him, he knew that he was in for a long and frustrating recovery.
From the moment Y/n walked into his room, she was like a ray of sunshine. She was constantly talking, asking him how he was feeling, and offering him unsolicited advice on how to speed up his recovery. Bucky found her incessant chatter annoying and intrusive, and he made it clear that he wanted her to leave him alone.
"You don't have to talk so much, you know," Bucky grumbled as Y/n tried to engage him in conversation.
She smiled brightly. "I'm just trying to keep you company, Mr. Barnes. I know it can be lonely in here."
Bucky rolled his eyes. "I don't need company. I need to heal and get out of this hellhole."
Her smile faltered, and she looked hurt. But Bucky couldn't bring himself to care. He had more important things to worry about than hurting the feelings of a chatty nurse.
As the days went on, Bucky found himself becoming more and more irritated with Y/n. She was always there, hovering over him, and he couldn't escape her constant attention. He started to resent her presence, even though he knew that she was just doing her job.
One day, as she was helping him with his physical therapy exercises, she accidentally brushed against his metal arm. Bucky winced, and she immediately pulled back.
"I'm so sorry, Mr. Barnes. Did that hurt?" she asked, her voice full of concern.
Bucky gritted his teeth. "Yeah, it hurt. What did you expect, with that clumsy move?"
Y/n looked at him with hurt in her eyes. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. I'm just trying to help you get better."
Bucky glared at her. "You're not helping. You're just getting in the way."
She sighed. "I know you don't like me very much, Mr. Barnes. But I'm just trying to do my job. I want to make sure you're getting the best possible care."
Bucky scoffed. "Yeah, right. You just want to make yourself feel better. You think that if you can fix me, you'll be some kind of hero."
Y/n looked hurt and shocked by his words. "That's not true, Mr. Barnes. I don't help people to make people think I'm the hero; that I'm some sort of saviour for humanity. All I want to do is help people, that's all."
Bucky shook his head. "Save it for someone who cares. I never needed or wanted your help."
As the days went on, Bucky's attitude towards Y/n didn't improve. But despite his constant complaints and snarky remarks, she never gave up on him. She was always there, by his side, offering him words of encouragement and support.
One day, as she was helping him with his physical therapy, Bucky felt a twinge of pain in his leg. He winced, and she immediately stopped what she was doing.
"Are you okay, Mr. Barnes?" she asked, her voice full of concern.
Bucky looked up at her, and for the first time, he saw her in a different light. He saw the kindness in her eyes, the determination in her voice, and the genuine care in her actions. He realised that he had been wrong about her all along. She wasn't annoying, she was kind and caring.
Bucky felt a strange feeling in his chest as he looked at her. He couldn't believe that he had been so blind to her kindness before. She had been nothing but patient and supportive towards him, even when he had been rude and ungrateful.
"I'm fine," he muttered, feeling embarrassed by his outburst. "Sorry for snapping at you."
She smiled warmly at him. "It's okay, Mr. Barnes. I understand that you're in pain, and it can be frustrating."
Bucky nodded, feeling grateful for her understanding. "I guess I've just been a bit of a jerk to you, haven't I?"
She shrugged. "It's okay. I know that you didn't mean it."
Bucky sighed, feeling a weight lifted off his shoulders. "Thanks for being patient with me, Y/n. I really appreciate it."
Y/n grinned at him. "Of course, Mr. Barnes. That's what I'm here for."
From that day on, Bucky's attitude towards her began to change. He found himself looking forward to her visits, and he even started to engage in conversations with her. They talked about everything from the latest movies to popular music trends, and Bucky found himself enjoying her company more and more.
One day, as she was helping him with his physical therapy, Bucky realised that he didn't want her to leave. He wanted her to stay with him, to keep talking to him, to keep being there for him.
"Y/n," he said suddenly, as she was packing up her supplies. "Do you want to grab a coffee or something after your shift ends?"
She looked surprised, but she smiled. "Sure, Mr. Barnes. I'd love that."
"Call me Bucky, doll."
Bucky grinned, feeling a strange warmth in his chest. He couldn't believe that he was actually looking forward to spending time with the woman he had once despised. But as he looked at her, he realised that she was more than just a nurse to him. She was a friend, a confidante, and maybe even something more.
As they walked out of the hospital together, Bucky felt a strange feeling of hope. Maybe, just maybe, he had finally found someone who could help him heal his damaged heart.
A/N who doesn't love the enemies to lovers trope? It's personally a favourite of mine 🥰
tagging the usual...please lemme know if you'd like to be added or removed.
🏷 @thewaithfuckingannoyme @evelyn-kingsley @moonlight-ee
#bucky barnes#james “bucky” barnes#bucky x reader#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes x fem!reader#nurse!reader#enemies to lovers#angsty#fluffy#bucky x you#bucky barnes x you#bucky barnes x y/n#brooding Bucky#sebastian stan#sebastian stan character#Ella's Fics#winter soldier#the winter soldier#the weiner soldier
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(My nurse)
Pairing: 40s Bucky Barnes x Nurse! Reader
Summary: your friend drags you to the stark convention after work where Bucky just wants to pester you.
A/N: no comment 😗
— — —
40’s Bucky Barnes
Your shift at the clinic just ended when your friend came up to you.
“Hey, are you going to the Stark Expo tonight?” She was beaming with excitement.
“I wasn’t planning to” You shrugged. Technology was interesting but it wasn’t really something you wanted to spend your night off watching.
“Why not?” Her face fell.
“Well this is my first time without a night shift I would love to just get some rest” your friend sighed.
“Y/n” She put some of your h/c hair behind your ear you looked at her very confused, “I know you would just love some rest but you’re coming with me” I tilted my head to the side.
“and why should I?” Her jaw dropped.
“How could you not know?” I shrugged, “Bucky Barnes is going to be there” You started to laugh.
“As compelling as that argument is I still want rest” She sighed.
“Please come with me! I have no one to go with” I laughed even more.
“Why didn’t you just say that before?” She shrugged.
“I thought Bucky was going to sell you but apparently not” She then grabbed my hand, “Come on then lets go!” And that is the story of how you ended up in a crowed of people watching Mr.Stark show off his new flying car invention.
“This is actually pretty cool!” You yelled to your friend. The crowd was so loud if you talked normally she wouldn’t have heard you. She turned to you beaming.
“See I told you it’d be fun!” You both turned back to the stage only to see that the flying car was no longer…flying. It had dropped to the stage pretty harshly.
“As you can see it is still a work of progress” Mr.Stark laughed, “Anyway enjoy the Expo!” He said and then slowly the crowd started to disperse.
“Come on lets find Bucky!” Your friend grabbed your hand again. You rolled your eyes as she looked frantically around for the man.
“Can’t we just enjoy the Expo you dragged me to?” You asked her. She ignored you as she was still looking around. Suddenly she stopped which caused you to crash into her.
“I found him!” She yelled excitedly. You smiled a little bit at her excitement. “Wait he’s with someone” her excitement dropped and so did your smile.
“Its Connie” You squinted your eyes to make out the girl next to him.
“What’s he doing with her?!” Your friend got a little bit angry, “Are they on a date?” She started to squeeze your hand. You quickly snatched your hand back before she could break it.
“It’s okay-“ She cut you off.
“No it’s not” she started to stomp towards them but you grabbed a hold of both her shoulders.
“Hey hey hey” You pulled her back to you, “How about we go play some some of the many carnival games?” You put on your widest smile hoping it would make her a little bit happy. You knew you succeeded when she sighed.
“Fine. But why her? We’re perfectly good catches, why couldn’t it be one of us?” You shrugged.
“I don’t know but lets go win you a teddy bear” You booped her nose and walked her over to the nearest game. After a couple of minuets she had forgotten all about him. That was until you two were walking away from the cotton candy vendor, eating the delicious treat in front of you, laughing and holding onto all the stuffies you won from the games that’s when you…bumped into him. You bumped into him quite harshly so you accidentally dropped all the stuffed animals you were holding.
“Oh my I am so sorry sweet heart” Bucky said as he kneeled down and started picking up the stuffed animals. You looked at your friend who just looked at you with excitement. “Sorry about that” He got up from the ground and handed you back the stuffed toys.
“It’s okay I wasn’t looking where I was going” You shrugged. You thought that was the perfect opportunity for you to get away but Bucky stopped you.
“Don’t I know you from somewhere?” He got in front of you so you had to look at him.
“No I don’t think so” You looked back at your friend for help but she was just ‘awing’ at him.
“Yeah, aren’t you a nurse?” You tilted your head to the side.
“yes…I am” Where was this conversation going? You had no clue.
“I knew you were familiar! You’re the nurse I’m always trying to get when I go to the clinic but they always say you’re busy” Your e/c eyes went wide.
“Uh I-I guess” You walked backwards to your friend and grabbed her hand. “Now if you don’t mind we’re going home” You gave him a quick smile and started to walk past him. But he was not having it. He started to walk with you.
“What’s your name?” You looked at him for a second.
“Don’t you have a date?” You tried to get rid of him. He laughed.
“She went home couldn’t take all “nerds” around her” You looked back at him and smiled.
“It’s Y/n” There was no harm in giving him your name if he didn’t have a date. Your friend was absolutely ecstatic at what was going on in front of her.
“That’s a great name~” You stopped walking and so did he. “I’m Bucky”
“It’s nice to meet you Bucky” He smiled wider.
“Hey, you wanna go out sometime?” You were about to answer when your friend interrupted you.
“Oh shoot Y/n! I have to go home now!” You looked at your watch and then at your friend knowing she still lived with her parents and that they wanted her home at a certain time.
“Then I’ll walk you” Your friend let go of your hand and shook her head.
“No I’ll be fine” You shook your head.
“No no come on” You grabbed her hand again and then looked at Bucky.
“It was nice to meet you Bucky” and then just like that your friend and you scurried off so that your friend wouldn’t get yelled at.
“Wait! You didn’t answer my question!” Bucky yelled after you. But you two were so far away that you couldn’t hear him. He sighed and then went off to try and find his own best friend. He finally found Steve outside of a military sign up.
“Yes I tried again” Steve sighed. Bucky started to laugh.
“That’s okay, did they accept you?” Steve shrugged.
“How was your night?” Steve changed the subject. Bucky smiled remembering you.
“Pretty great” Bucky then put his arm over Steve’s shoulders and they started to walk off. “Let me tell you about this girl I met” Bucky said and Steve laughed. Bucky knew for sure tomorrow he was going to get you as his nurse.
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Okay so I just read your doctor fic and I had a little idea. This doesn't have to be a full out fic, but as a doctor myself I get super offended when people *cough men cough* refer to me as Ms. Like bruh I worked for that title and tortured myself through school.
Can you do one where reader is a similar situation and it turns into where Steve and bucky start to call out people as well bcz their SO deserves respect and they damn proud and protective of her
Hello doctor!
I'm sorry that this happens to you, I think it's complete bullshit! But we stan you on this blog!! Here is a little something for you and I hope you like it!!
It's Dr. not Ms.
Pairing: Nurse!Steve x Dr.!Reader x Dr.!Bucky
Word count: 1.4k
“Ms. Hey Ms.” The patient you had been tending to in the emergency room was testing your patience. It wasn’t enough that he snapped his fingers at you when trying to get your attention or the fact that he kept telling you what his diagnosis was because he searched his symptoms on google. Now he insists on calling you Ms. instead of Dr. You would let it slide sometimes, depending on the patient but this guy was doing it on purpose. Men like him should be thankful you took an oath to do no harm.
“Mr. Walker, who are you trying to call over here?” You say as you step into the exam room.
“You. You’re the one that’s tending to me.”
“Mr. Walker as I said when I was in here a few minutes ago, it’s not Ms. It's Dr.Y/L/N and as I’m sure the nurse showed you if you need help with something you can hit the little red button on the phone. It gets the attention of the nurses and they can come in and help you.” You give him a tight lip smile. “Now is there anything you need?“
“Yeah whatever, can you fluff my pillow?” He leans forward completely ignoring everything you’ve just said. Reluctantly you do as he asks before exiting the room as fast as possible. You make your way to the nurses station and you can’t help but smile as you see both of your boyfriends on the other side. You set the chart for Walker on the counter as you look at the men you love so much.
“You two are a sight for sore eyes.” You give them a tired smile. “Did you just get in?”
“Yup, just a few minutes ago and we brought your favorite.” Steve says as he hands over your favorite coffee order.
“Have I told you that I love you?” you take a sip from the cup and hum in approval as the flavors burst on your tongue.
“Not recently.” He teases.
“Well I love you.”
“Hey, what about me? I drove there.” Bucky pouts as he watches Steve lean over the desk and give you a quick kiss.
“I love you too.” you make a kissy face until he leans over, mimicking Steve’s action.
“So how’s it been?”
“Steady,” you lean in to whisper the next part. “The guy in room 8 is annoying the hell out of me though.”
“Want me to take over?” Bucky asks as he grabs the chart in front of you.
“No. He keeps calling me Ms. instead of Dr. and he’s doing it on purpose. If I have someone take over it will make it worse for me. I shouldn’t have to correct people on this every time.”
Both men look at each other already annoyed with the idiot in room 8. You were friends long before you started dating and they saw all of your hard work. They helped you study and cheered you on when you graduated. Steve and Bucky know how hard you worked for your degree and they were extremely proud. And although some people think that it’s just a title and that it doesn’t matter, it’s very important to you.
The work kept coming although fortunately it wasn’t a busy night at the emergency room. Steve was taking vitals for your next patient. An older man with pain in his left side and unable to walk. You step into the room as you look over the chart.
“Hello, Mr. Jenkins. I’ll be taking care of you today. I'm Dr. Y/L/N. Now I see here that you fell from a ladder and you are having pain on and around your left hip. I’m going to do a quick exam first and then determine what the best course of action is. Now where are you feeling the most pain?”
You move toward the bed lowering the railing to get better access.
“It hurts all over.” He says with a grimace as you apply pressure directly above the joint. “Yes I feel pain there.”
“Ok, from a 1-10, with 1 being the least and 10 being the most painful, what would you rate this?”
“It’s like an 8 Ms.” There it was again. After introducing yourself as Dr. he was reducing you to Ms.
“It’s Dr. not Ms.” Steve speaks up from the computer in the corner of the room before you are able to say anything. You shoot him a grateful smile and he just winks back at you. You continue the examination and order x-rays to be completed to confirm what you suspect is a fractured hip bone.
As it gets later in the night the emergency room gets busier but somehow Steve and Bucky are always just around the corner when someone else calls you Ms. correcting them before you have to say anything. Although it might seem like something small, Steve and Bucky standing up for you makes you feel supported.
The time came to once again check on Mr. Walker and you were dreading it. Fortunately Steve was headed in before you. After a few minutes he comes back out telling you he’s complaining of more back pain.
“About time Ms. this pain is killing me.” He complains.
“It’s Dr. not Ms.” Steve quickly corrects him. You stand there for a moment just watching this play out.
Walker rolls his eyes. “It’s not a big deal. She knows I’m referring to her, why does it matter?” He asks, annoyed. “You’re a Dr. can’t you just give me something?”
“Actually, I’m a nurse. So Dr. Y/L/N will be the one to determine what kind of medication we can administer.”
Just then Bucky passes by the room.
“Hey, Doc.”
He stops just past the door and turns to walk back into the room. “Yes?”
“I have really bad back pain do to my car accident and Ms. Y/L/N and the nurse here won’t give me anything. Is it so hard to get a Dr. help me out?”
“Mr.?”
“Walker.” you provide even though Bucky already knows who this is.
“Mr. Walker, would you like to be taken care of by the best Dr. on shift tonight?”
“Yes, please. I would like to get out of here tonight.”
“Let me get them for you. Oh here she is, this is Dr. Y/L/N. I know she’ll take better care of you than I would, even though you seem to have no respect for her.” He ends his sentence with a scowl and promptly exits the room.
An awkward silence fills the room as the patient can’t seem to say anything, while you and Steve try not to laugh at the face he’s making. You continue to work with Walker finishing up with him and having him checked out just before your shift is set to end.
“Have I told you that I love you?” you ask Bucky as you get your things to head out.
“Not recently.” he smiles at you.
“Well I love you.” moving towards him and giving him a kiss.
“What about me?”
“I love you too.” giving the blond a kiss.
“Thank you, for what you did, it means a lot.” you say as the three of you walk out of the hospital in the early hours of the morning.
“Anything for you love. You worked hard to become a Doctor and you love what you do. It’s only fair that you get recognized for it.” Bucky says as he walks beside you.
“Besides what kind of boyfriends would we be if we didn’t stand up to idiots like Walker.”
“Horrible ones.” you laugh as you finally approach the car and get it. “Now let's go, I need to sleep.”
The next shift you had together both men continued to step in when they could. Soon enough some of the other nurses also joined in. Hearing Steve and Bucky saying ‘It’s Dr. not Ms.’ became a new source of comfort. Afterward they always made sure to tell you how proud they were of everything you had accomplished. You knew it would still take time until people finally began to understand that you had put in just as much time, work and dedication into becoming a Doctor as your male counterparts. Now all you could do was wait for people to understand that fact.
Until that time came at least you could rely on Steve and Bucky, and it would be a lie if you said it didn’t feel good to be loved and supported by them.
permanent taglist:
@kunaikunari @rebekahdawkins @cjand10 @nalny5 @oliviafc15 @Sturchling @angywritesstuff
#nurse!steve rogers#Doctor!reader#Doctor!bucky barnes#steve rogers#bucky x reader#steve x reader#stucky x reader#bucky barnes
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am I making a dark!winter soldier fic for my friend to post on her wattpad? YES TF I AM!
Am I going to post it on here? POSSIBLY!!
#Winter Soldier#dark!winter soldier#dark!winter soldier x nurse!fem!reader#Bucky Barnes#bucky barnes fanfiction#winter soldier fanfiction
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You're Gonna Be Quiet
Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Reader
Summary: It's just an undercover mission, anyone could be married for one night - even you two.
Warnings: profanity, flirting, yucky old men, suggestive content (?), possessive Bucky <3
MINORS PLS DNI
Word Count: 2.2k
A/N: y'all.... im not an author. im an artist, not an author, so PLS go into this with that knowledge. but I have been convinced, no, coerced into posting this little funsy by @ellemj
she threatened to withhold vacation pictures from me as if I didn't draw her bucky barnes dick earlier today and I'll be damned
anyways,, please enjoy and manage your expectations :,)
“Okay, rumor has it the target, Mr. Beaumont, has a thing for married women,” Sam says casually as he holds a ring between his thumb and forefinger, “so for this mission, you get to be Mrs. Barnes.”
He tosses the ring in your direction and you catch it with a sour expression. You slip the rock on your finger and admire it, your scowl slipping just a moment as you watch how it catches the sun. That is until you see Bucky with an equally foul look on his face. Suddenly, your frown reappears.
“Sam, I feel like there is certainly someone better suited for this than me,” you grumble as you put your hand down and look back up at him, “I mean, aren’t these undercover missions more of a Natasha thing?”
Sam rolls his eyes before turning to face you, a hand on his hip. You were in for a scolding. “Natasha has her own mission. So today, you get to be Mrs. Hart. And you,” he turns to Bucky with a smug expression, “will be Mr. Hart. Any questions? No? Good, you two lovebirds go get your outfits on.”
You turn quickly, but not quick enough to miss the death stare Bucky shoots Sam. This one seems even more lethal than his typical one.
~~~
The ride to the gala is silent. Bucky is always silent, but this silence seems more… suffocating. You fiddle with the ring on your finger before glancing over at him. “Are you planning to even look at me before we get there? I mean, we’re supposed to be a marri-”
“You’re supposed to be a woman in an unhappy marriage who's looking to fuck a billionaire,” he says bluntly, not even turning towards you, “I’m just making sure that you look plenty unhappy.”
He would never admit out loud that the real reason he won’t spare you a second glance is because the first glimpse of you dolled up sent almost all the blood in his rational mind straight to his cock. He needs to preserve what little sense he has left.
~~~
You get out of the car with a huff. Just as Bucky intended, you look unhappy and thoroughly irritated. You pull the hem of your little black dress down in an attempt to recover some of your dignity, but all Bucky notices is how the little tug causes your breasts to be even more apparent. Yep, there went the rest of the blood.
He sighs and grabs your hand before plastering a fake smile onto his lips. “Let’s get this over with, shall we?”
You sigh and forget anymore yanking on your dress, looking up at him with a grim expression. “Let's,” you mutter under your breath before letting him lead you into the gala.
As expected, the event is extravagant and no doubt costly. You feel out of place, and you can’t help the way you move a little further into your ‘husband’s side. You let a breath of air past your lips as you look around the room for your target. Nowhere to be seen, you nearly move further into the room before Bucky squeezes your hand gently and nods to his left. You’re quick to ignore the flutter of butterflies that his touch sends shooting through you and casually look where he’s pointed. Surely enough, at the bar, sits a piggish man nursing a flute of champagne. Your eyes find Buckys and you shoot him a look before you drop his hand and make your way over.
You take a seat a few bar stools down from the man, making sure to fail at getting the bartender's attention. “Sir? Sir, could I-” You drop your hand with a sigh, feigning a disheartened expression.
“Sir, this lady would like a drink,” like a mouse in a trap, Mr. Beaumont waves him down for you and orders you a drink, “you look like you’d drink something fruity, a little thing like you. Maybe a sex on the beach?”
You wish you’d missed the way his lips pulled up in a foul grin and the way his eyebrow raised ever so slightly, and you really wish you hadn’t seen his greedy eyes rake over your body. Nonetheless, a soft laugh and a bat of your lashes grace him instead of the scowl that wants to pull at your lips.
“I’ve never had one before,” you say with a saccharine smile, “maybe we could share.”
You notice how his eyes nearly bug out of his head and then slowly trail to your hand. He slides his fingers, not dissimilar to link sausages, down to your left hand where he trails a thumb over your ring. “Are you sure your husband wouldn’t mind,” he asks with that same vile grin, moving his hand to rest on your knee.
“Not particularly, but I’m sure I don’t care,” you whisper teasingly, leaning forward and showing off your tits that practically beg to fall from your dress. ‘Hook, line, and sinker’ you think as the man runs a heavy hand up the side of your leg and his eyes trail down your neck to your cleavage.
Trembling anger washes over Bucky as he watches the man practically feel you up in the middle of the bar. The beads of perspiration running down the target's neck and the way he keeps nervously licking his lips give Bucky all the indication he needs to know this man thinks you’re his. Then Bucky turns to look at you. You. You’re just letting the man have his way, no, you’re encouraging it. Yes, it’s the mission. And, no, Bucky has no reason to feel such vile hatred for the target in any sense other than the professional one. But for some reason, he finds himself wanting to dismember any part of the man that graces your body where he hasn’t yet.
Yet?
Yet.
~~~
“Who’s this, darling?”
You bristle as you feel a breath of air pass your ear before the deep timbre of Bucky's voice even registers in your mind. You whip around to look at him, an expression of anger and bewilderment replacing the flirtatious grin you were just donning. You look back to the target, trying to mask your surprise.
“Honey,” you manage to say through gritted teeth, “I didn’t even see you come over.”
You pull your hands from the target's grasp, nearly cringing at the moist feeling left behind on your skin. You feel Bucky’s firm hold replace Mr. Beaumont’s slimy touch, and your body reacts all too positively. You lean back hardly at all, but it’s enough to feel his chest rigid against you. Was he standing too close or were you too eager? There was no way to be sure, but one thing you could be sure of was the fact that neither of you shied from the contact.
“Hmm,” he hummed lowly, a disapproving air oozing from the short sound, “when you never brought our drinks over, I got curious as to where you’d disappeared to.”
His eyes shift from the side of your face to the man across from you, who grows increasingly uneasy at the sight of your tall and broad ‘husband’. Bucky leans down close, so close that his lips brush against the curve of your ear and you hope he can’t hear your blood rushing in your head.
“I’ll ask again, who is this?”
You’re not sure if it's what he says, or the way he says it, but his words send a wave of arousal through your body. Suddenly, the too-tiny dress feels too hot and you’ve nearly forgotten his question. That is until he quirks an eyebrow and tilts his head expectantly. You clear your throat and look back to a flustered target, presumably intimidated by your colleague.
“This,” you reply before turning back to the sweaty man, “is Mr. Beaumont. He owns a software company and..”
You turn to the target, a ditsy smile on your lips as you try to recover your role, “what else did you do? I forget.”
He laughs nervously, shifting on his bar stool to make himself appear taller. Still pitiful in comparison to the man currently staring daggers at him over your shoulder. “I develop software and coding for various companies and organizations to use where they deem fit.”
Another low hum sounds from Bucky’s throat as he lifts his head from your ear, he meets Mr. Beaumont's eyes and sighs.
“Very impressive, Mr. B,” he says condescendingly. You frown, peeking over at him. What is he doing? This was not a part of the plan, “so you must be a smart man?”
The man in question smiles smugly and nods. “I’d think so, yes.”
“Well then, pray tell, why have you been feeling up my wife,” he asks coolly, Bucky’s turn to look smug. You, on the other hand, whip around to stare at him with an irate expression. He looks down at you with a matching frown, hardly able to mask his irritation, “Don’t worry, dear, I’ll handle you later.”
You’d like to think you were subtle in your shock, in the way his words leave you flustered. You had no idea Bucky could smell the wave of arousal that flooded your panties, or that he could hear the beat of your heart like a snare drum. Neither of you even noticed the target’s pitiful stuttering, too caught up in the most sexually charged staring contest ever.
~~~
“What the fuck, Barnes,” you hiss quietly, walking ahead of him to the car with steam practically flooding out of your ears, “I mean, what the actual fuck!”
You don’t wait for him to catch up before you get into the passenger seat, slamming the door shut behind you. You didn’t care for appearances, your mission having been sabotaged by your own partner. What appearances did you have left to keep up?
He gets into the driver's seat a few moments later, pulling his gloves off with a sigh before running his flesh hand over his face.
“Are you done?”
“No,” you snap, turning to face him, “I’m not. You have the audacity to call me reckless, but you go and pull a stunt like that? I had it under control.” Your cheeks are red with irritation and your hair is a mess from you running your fingers through it, but he’s too caught up with thinking what else would have you looking so flushed.
“If you’d just shut up and listen-” he starts, but you’re quick to cut him off.
“I was getting the intel,” you’re practically ranting now, “and you just had to swoop in. And for what? To be all macho? To fluster me?”
The scowl on his lips that once matched yours turns into a scoff, and you narrow your eyes at him. Why are you looking at his lips? And why can’t you pull your gaze away from them? “What? What now,” you ask with a huff.
“You really need to learn when to stop talking,” he mutters, looking at you out of the corner of his eye as he tries to wipe the smug smile from his face, “y’know that?”
You’re startled by his words, the flush on your cheeks no longer caused by his irritating actions but by his shocking words. Your eyes travel over him shamelessly, ready to jeopardize everything just to get rid of the tension that has lingered and grown exponentially over the course of the evening.
“Then why don’t you shut me up,” you ask softly, your tone opposite to the defiant one you’d held only moments ago. Judging by the minuscule way his eyes widen and the way his lips part around a sharp inhale, you’d be safe to guess he’d beat you to the idea.
You aren’t sure who moved forward first, or even if you’d moved at all. All you can be sure of is the feeling of Bucky Barnes kissing you like he’d never have the privilege again.
Your lips move feverishly against his own, the car filled with quiet pants and sloppy smacking. His hands tangle in your hair and he tugs you away from him, his expression turning stern when you whine petulantly. “Did you know you were a fucking brat tonight,” he asks lowly, his stare hard. You swallow thickly, pressing your thighs together to relieve the ache between them.
“I was not,” you rebut, your brows furrowing and your lips turning down in a pout. He didn’t like that.
“You were,” he chides coolly, releasing his grip on your hair and sighing, “especially after we walked back to the car. You never even let me explain why I stopped you.”
You would like to focus on his words, but you’re too worried about the way his metal fingers nimbly undo the buckle of his belt. Silence sweeps over the car, the only sound being your shaky breath and the clank of metal on metal.
“So here’s what we’re gonna do,” he continues, “I’m gonna talk, and you’re gonna listen. Quietly.” You’re salivating as he tugs the zipper of his dress pants down, allowing the tent in his boxers some much-needed reprieve. “You know why you’re gonna be quiet?”
“Why,” you ask in a breathless whisper, only just now meeting his eyes again.
“Because your mouth is gonna be full."
#bucky barnes fic#bucky barnes#bucky barnes fanfiction#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes x you#bucky barnes smut#mcu#the winter soldier#winter soldier#fanfic#reader insert#smut
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I Hate You
Bucky Barnes x Female Reader One-Shot: SMUT
Request by @kateversca1011: "y/n has these weird mind powers where she can feel others feelings or make others feel hers...she accidentally during a very heated fun time projects everything she is feeling to Bucky, basically doubling his pleasure"
Summary: After ending up on SHIELD's radar, you're moved into the tower against your will. Of course, you can't stand the one man that you have the most in common with.
Warnings: profanity, teasing, one bed trope, unprotected sex, hate sex, dirty talking, praise, MINORS DNI, 18+!!!
Word Count: 9.3k
A/N: I fucking LOVED this prompt yet I feel like my (4th) attempt at it is as horseshit as the other attempts. This may get another attempt one day. Thank you @kateversca1011 for the wonderful prompt inspo, I hope this entertains you at least a little bit.
You have the worst luck in the world. In fact, your luck is so bad that you might even be able to call it a curse. It was one of those unfortunate things that started early in your life and has carried on throughout the years, affecting seemingly everything that you do. You thought it came to a head when your hometown was obliterated twelve years ago, when your parents were killed as they lay asleep in their bed across the house that you grew up in. You thought that was the pinnacle of your misfortune. Then, you thought that maybe it was two days after that, when you were sure you were being rescued from the rubble you laid under, only to be taken away by soldiers with unmatchable strength and brutality and stripped of not only your rights, but your dignity. You were held captive for so long that you stopped attributing your dark times to bad luck and started to think this was how life was supposed to be. By the time they started experimenting on you, you didn’t even feel bad for yourself anymore. You simply accepted it as the next era of your life that you had no control over.
“Okay, we’re all done.” Shuri’s voice rings out through the speaker in the MRI machine. The flat surface that you’ve been lying on for the past forty-five minutes begins to slide out of the narrow tube it held you in, slowly exposing the rest of the room to your view. You take a deep breath in, stretching your arms out in front of you and wiggling your legs a little. Your lower half always falls asleep when you have these scans done.
Shuri watches you intently through the glass of the MRI observation window. She watches as the nurse helps you sit up and swing your legs over the side of the tabletop. She watches as you run a hand through your hair and offer the nurse a kind smile before moving to stand on the floor. She watches as your eyes narrow in the slightest and a look of surprise crosses your face. She knows what you just did. She knows that the moment the nurse was in your personal space, you had no control over the unusual chemistry of your brain. You invaded the nurse’s mind and picked up on the fact that she’s afraid of you.
“She’s not ready to go free yet, is she?” Fury asks tersely. He entered the observation room so silently that Shuri didn’t even notice him until he spoke. As the nurse leads you out of the MRI room and begins taking you back to the main area of the medical bay, Shuri turns in her chair to face Fury.
“She doesn’t have enough control over her abilities yet. I think she’s still psychologically stable, the program you put her through did its job, but there’s no guarantee that she’ll simply go out into the world and behave.” Shuri chooses her words carefully. She doesn’t think that you’re a threat in your current state, but should you ever desire to be, you could easily become one. Your powers rival those of Wanda Maximoff’s, except even less is known about the extent of yours thus far. You’re the equivalent of the Winter Soldier without anyone having used his activation words yet, a ticking time bomb.
That’s what leads to Shuri and Fury both addressing you in the medical bay moments later. You sit on an exam table picking at a loose thread in your frayed jeans as they approach you, trying your hardest not to read into their thoughts, their feelings. You’d like to experience what it’s like to be surprised by what comes out of someone’s mouth for once.
“That was your last fMRI for a while.” Shuri says happily, her smile looking truly genuine. You smile back, but continue picking at the thread, not wanting to make any prolonged eye contact. Eye contact always seems to make it easier to read people, and easier for your own thoughts and emotions to spill over into their consciousness if you’re not careful.
“I’m guessing there isn’t all good news though, right? Since you’re both here this time.” You ask knowingly, your gaze darting between the two who stand before you. Shuri gives Fury a sideways glance, as if she’s waiting for him to take the lead. His eye narrows at you, his forehead scrunching up above his eyepatch as he studies you.
“We can’t let you go out and live your life just yet. There are too many unknowns right now. I’m going to be putting you up in the Avengers tower.”
“But—” Fury holds up his hand to silence you, as if you’re a backtalking teenager.
“It’s not permanent. This is just until we can help you gain more control over your abilities. We can reassess after. When you’re finished here, I’ll have someone waiting outside to take you over to the other side of the compound and show you around.” Fury’s gone before his words have even fully sunk in.
“He’s a straight-to-the-point kind of guy, isn’t he? No bullshit with him.” You say quietly, shaking your head as you come to terms with everything he’s just said. You’ve been staying in what you can only call a high-end holding cell at the nearby SHIELD base since the day you appeared on their radar and they brought you in, very much against your will. Another bout of bad luck, you’d told yourself, as you were restrained with some sort of technologically advanced handcuffs and later forcibly put through multiple rigorous evaluations. After the evaluations came the decompression and psychological rehabilitation that they had originally designed to be used for victims of capture and torture, agents who were in too deep and didn’t have backup when the worst happened. After that, you started undergoing medical testing, constant scans and blood draws, on a weekly basis. Shuri was brought in because no one else could figure you out.
“It’s the eye patch, he has to be short and gruff with people to fit the look.” Shuri jokes. She stands closer to you than most people would, within arms’ reach. You offer a light laugh and she considers it a small victory. “I think you’ll find that living in the tower, around other people with unique abilities, might actually help you. You’ll get a really nice room too, probably nicer than just about anywhere else you’d find in the city.”
“A nice room that I never get to leave.” You point out. Shuri’s gaze softens and she looks you over. Most people wouldn’t look at you and see a bomb that hasn’t yet been detonated. Hell, you could probably weaponize that fact if you wanted to, the fact that you look normal, innocent even.
“You can leave your room, but I think it’s best if you don’t get too close with anyone, physically or emotionally. Give yourself some time to learn boundaries when it comes to your abilities first.” Shuri advises. She notices the way you take in her entire appearance as she speaks, but you avoid looking into her eyes. You’re trying to give her mind the privacy it deserves. You’re making an effort to stay out of her thoughts, and to keep from projecting your own onto her. She thinks that you’ll get the hang of the control thing soon enough, and Fury will either free you to go about your new life or he’ll make an attempt to recruit you as an asset. Only time will tell which direction you’ll go, but she finds herself hoping that this won’t be the last she sees of you.
---
Bucky’s heard about the girl who reads minds, the girl who can make others feel her pain, the girl who could take away someone’s mental anguish with just one shared look. He’s heard enough about that girl that he formed his own mental image of her. He pictures her as an evil cartoon witch, with long, dark fingernails that curl up at the ends and a characteristic black and purple outfit, maybe even flying around on a broom. When he heard that this cartoon witch would be moving into the empty room across the hall from his, he imagined cardboard boxes filled with crystal balls, spiders, and cobwebs being dropped off before the girl’s arrival.
Bucky didn’t think for a second that you’d show up so quietly and uneventfully, trying to draw as little attention to yourself as possible. He didn’t think you’d show up with nothing more than a small, government-issued duffel bag and a profound avoidance of eye contact. And he sure as hell didn’t think that you’d end up being so goddamn pretty. As you stood in the lobby of the tower with Maria Hill and two other SHIELD agents, Bucky was just getting back from a therapy session with Dr. Raynor. He saw you as you stood there with your duffel bag and blank stare aimed at a wall. He saw you as you made sure to board the elevator last, letting everyone else enter before you and then staying a few steps behind on your way in. You saw him as the doors began to slide shut. You caught one little glimpse of the man, dressed in dark jeans and a dark Henley tee. Unreasonably attractive. That was your first impression of him, as the doors closed and he disappeared from your sight.
An hour later, you’re sitting alone in your new room, carefully folding and putting away the few pieces of clothing you brought with you. Your wardrobe consists of a couple of pairs of jeans, a sweatshirt or two, and the same pair of sneakers you always wear. Or at least that’s what it consisted of until today. When you arrived to the room and finally had the chance to shut Maria and the other agents out and settle yourself in, you quickly realized that Tony Stark, or more his wife Pepper, had taken it upon their shoulders to have your closet filled with a wide range of pants, shorts, dresses, workout attire, and far too many shoes for someone with only two feet. You thought it was a mistake at first, that maybe you’d been given the wrong key to the wrong room. Until you saw a white envelope sitting on the nightstand beside the bed. It contained the only note you’d ever received from anyone, detailing how all of the items in the closet now belong to you, and were picked out by Pepper upon Tony’s request. As you stand in the closet now, running your fingers along the various fabrics and colors hanging in front of you, it feels as though every birthday that you missed out on celebrating after your parents’ deaths and your own capture are being celebrated in this moment.
---
Bucky sits in one of the briefing rooms with Sam and Torres, only half-listening to whatever they’re droning on about as he traces the golden crevices of his vibranium arm with his flesh index finger. He doesn’t chime in at all as the topic shifts from one of last week’s missions, to a piece of intel Torres intercepted yesterday, to the mission that could potentially be coming up at the end of this week. It isn’t until Torres brings up the girl that just moved in upstairs that Bucky’s flesh hand falters and his eyes flit up to take in the image that’s holographically displayed over the table in the center of the room.
“I gathered as much information on her as I could.” Torres says, as he begins flipping through a few different files on the display. He stops on one titled First Event. When he opens the electronic file, Bucky’s heart drops instantly at the words his brain sorts through and picks out. Terrorist attack. Intentional target. Orphaned. HYDRA. He swallows hard when the picture of your childhood home, completely reduced to smoking ash and rubble, appears before him. Another picture shows a small girl, seemingly around age eleven or twelve, covered in soot and dirt, with her hands bound in front of her as she’s being lifted and placed in the back of a truck. “She was taken by HYDRA operatives when she was 12. It was an operation with the sole aim of taking twenty children, disguising the entire thing as a brutal terrorist attack. The missing children were all presumed dead in the attacks, which was what HYDRA wanted. There was never an investigation for any of them.” A few pictures show a grimy prison-like holding cell, an operating room with different pieces of technology and equipment that definitely aren’t standard in normal medical facilities, and a few brain scans. “All of the twenty children underwent testing and experimentation. Some died within a couple of weeks, some within a couple of months. She was the only one to survive to be rescued. She lived in this underground HYDRA facility for at least ten years that we know of.”
“Ten years?” Sam asks incredulously, leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms over his chest. “How did she end up on SHIELD’s radar?” Torres pauses his biography of the worst years of your life and opens up a different file on the display, one titled Second Event.
“Skipping the details of how she was rescued in the first place, she doesn’t have much control over her abilities. She tried to lay low, that much was obvious, but SHIELD has a program to seek people like her out, to keep an eye on them.” Torres explains. Bucky’s eyes are glued to an image of the girl he saw in the elevator only an hour ago. You’re at an outdoor farmer’s market, with a ballcap pulled low over your forehead and your gaze cast downward as you browse a fruit stand. The image is eerily similar to a moment of his own life that he remembers, buying plums at a Romanian market when he was trying to go unnoticed and live a quiet life on his own.
“So, she made a misstep somewhere along the way, becomes property of SHIELD, and then Fury sends her here.” Sam recaps, looking to Torres to make sure he’s got it all right.
“Pretty much, yeah. He doesn’t think it’s safe to let her be out in the real world on her own yet.”
“Not safe for her? Or not safe for everyone else?” Sam asks, raising an eyebrow. Bucky turns his attention to Torres this time as well, curious about the answer.
“Both.”
A few more details are shared around the table as Torres flips back and forth between all of the available information that he has on you. Bucky, however, is deep in thought. He watches as new and old images flit back and forth on the screen, his mind digesting everything and piecing you together. You’re pretty, that’s for damn certain. You’re pretty and he can tell from your past, from your known abilities, that you’re likely good as hell at manipulating people. He imagines with your looks alone that you could get just about anyone to do just about anything for you. With your looks and your abilities? You could do more damage than most. You’re dangerous. Dangerous and unpredictable. And now you live across the hall from him.
Those two words repeat in Bucky’s head as he takes the stairs up to the main living floor later that same day. Dangerous and unpredictable. There are a few more words floating around in his head but he’s actively ignoring those. So goddamn pretty.
You really are pretty. You wouldn’t necessarily think so yourself, as you stand in front of the full-length mirror in your room, crossing your arms over your chest. FRIDAY’s voice rang out through a speaker somewhere in your room just a few minutes earlier, letting you know that dinner would be at six. Of course, FRIDAY didn’t offer you a dress code or even a very solid answer when you asked her what one should wear to such a dinner. The last time you had dinner with anyone, you were twelve and you were wearing a sparkly pink Barbie shirt. Though you could double check your closet for a shirt like that now, you have a feeling you won’t find one in your size. So, you remain in your distressed jeans and oversized gray SHIELD sweatshirt.
“Do you think she’ll show up?” Torres asks, mainly directing his question to Sam more than anyone else. Sam shrugs as he continues stirring the spaghetti sauce he’s been cooking on the stovetop.
“If she’s hungry she will.” He responds. Truthfully, he has no idea if you’ll come out of your room or not. If you don’t, he’ll take a bowl of food to your room at the very least, but he’d prefer it if you came out and interacted with everyone so he could at least get a feel for you. It was obvious by the way Bucky sat so narrow-eyed and steely in the briefing room earlier that he doesn’t like you, that he doesn’t trust you being in the tower. Sam hasn’t yet jumped to such a conclusion.
“What do we do if she does? If she shows up?” Torres almost sounds nervous. Sam chuckles before propping his wooden spoon on the edge of the saucepan and moving to wash his hands in the kitchen sink.
“We eat dinner.”
---
You don’t look like a scared, vulnerable twelve-year-old girl, and you most definitely don’t look like someone who has the power to manipulate thoughts or feelings. As you sit at the table, twirling spaghetti noodles around your fork, you’re trying your best to ignore the eyes on you. You feel a bit relieved that it’s not the entire group staring, no, it’s just that one unreasonably attractive man with the black and gold prosthetic arm. He stares. He stares as if it’s the only thing he knows how to do. Honestly, maybe it really is the only thing he knows how to do, because he sure as hell hasn’t participated in any of the table small talk this evening.
“So, you were just laying low before SHIELD found you?” Torres asks kindly, tearing apart a piece of garlic bread with his hands as he peers over at you. He’s seated immediately to your right and has been the most inquisitive thus far.
“Yeah, clearly I wasn’t very good at that though.” You respond lightheartedly, earning you a few small laughs around the table. You lift your fork to your mouth and take a small bite of pasta. It’s heavenly honestly. It’s so much better than the measly three meals that you’ve taught yourself how to cook.
“How do you feel about ending up here?” Torres is a curious one, you’re quickly learning.
“I’m not over the moon about it but the food is better than what I was cooking for myself so, it’s not all bad.”
As you answer questions and do your best to avoid making too much eye contact with anyone, to avoid reading into anyone’s thoughts or dropping your own thoughts into anyone else’s mind, Bucky stares. He watches you intently. You’re effortlessly charming, answering everyone’s questions with a shy smile and kind voice. He’s sure it’s a façade.
Bucky’s cold stare and the fact that you happily pretend like you don’t feel his gaze on you is the reason why Sam, at the end of dinner, stands up and assigns the two of you to clean-up duty. If Bucky’s gone ahead and jumped to a conclusion about you based on a few flimsy pieces of intel and some grainy pictures, then Sam will give him the opportunity to confirm his suspicions with half an hour of alone time with you. Either he’ll come out of clean-up duty realizing he was wrong about you or he’ll come out of it with an earful for Sam.
Fifteen minutes after everyone’s finished eating and gone their separate ways for the evening, you find yourself wiping down the dinner table with a wet cloth. Bucky is watching you from the open concept kitchen, where he stands in dim lighting, scrubbing dishes at the sink.
“I can feel you staring.” You say evenly. Though your back is to him, you know his eyes are following your every move. He sets a soapy bowl down in the empty side of the sink and gets to work on another, still watching as you lean over the table and scrub over the wooden surface. He says nothing. Daring a glance over your shoulder at him, you catch sight of his blue eyes, cold and calculating as they stare right back at you. That’s the moment you feel it, a wall around him, around his mind. As you look into his eyes, you can’t get even the slightest reading on his feelings, on his thoughts. His mind is impenetrable.
You quickly look away and continue wiping down the surface of the table. What the hell was that? You’ve never been around anyone you couldn’t read before. Bucky sets another soapy dish into the right side of the sink and lets his gaze fall away from you for a moment. Did you look into his thoughts? Did you see what most people see when they look at him? A monster, an uncontrollable killer? He’s patiently waiting for you to flee, to run and lock yourself in your room after analyzing whatever you just saw in his mind. However, different thought is crossing your mind. You want to try again, to get closer to him and get a better sense of the wall you felt around him. You push a couple of chairs into their rightful places beneath the table and then look over at Bucky again as he works on the dishes. His blue eyes meet yours once more and there it is again, that wall. Before you lose your boldness, you begin walking toward the kitchen, your feet carrying you closer and closer until you’re only a foot away from Bucky’s right side. He acts uninterested and his focus remains on a dirty dish and a sponge in his hands. Your eyes dart down to the sink and you notice the clean, soapy dishes in the side closest to you. Before you realize what you’re doing, your left arm is brushing against his right arm as you start rinsing the dishes beneath a steady stream of hot water. Bucky tenses next to you the moment the sleeve of your sweatshirt brushes over the skin of his bicep.
“Are you scared of me?” You ask softly, keeping your eyes down on the suds that are running off of the bowl in your hand. You watch as they swirl around in the bottom of the sink before disappearing down the drain. Bucky scoffs and a low chuckle slips past his lips.
“Scared isn’t the word I’d use.” He says coldly, passing you another dish to rinse.
“Then why do you stare at me like that?” You question, matching his cold tone.
“Like what?”
“Like you think I’m going to try to get in your head.”
“Haven’t you done that already?” Another dish is passed over to you. The hot water is turning your hands pink, and the frustrating interaction with such an unreasonably attractive ass is turning your cheeks the same color.
“If I had, you would’ve known.” You point out, turning your head to look up at the side of his face. He doesn’t turn to meet your gaze at first, so you study his features. There’s a light stubble peppered along his lower face, over his jawline and chin. He looks young but something about him gives off more of an old soul vibe.
“You don’t have enough control over your abilities to be able to read someone without them knowing?” His tone has shifted from a cold one to a condescending one.
“I do, but I don’t care to put in any effort to hide it when I’m reading someone who already knows I can do it. I wouldn’t put in that kind of effort for you.” You retort. You’re unsure where exactly the animosity came from, but you feel it. It’s palpable in the air, the way the two of you already dislike each other. Bucky’s glad you’re returning the sentiment honestly. It’ll make it so much easier to ignore the fact that you’re fucking gorgeous. Gorgeous and pure poison.
---
The update Fury left his house at four in the morning for wasn’t at all the update he was expecting. When his assistant called and told him that there was a new development with the girl he put up in the tower, the girl that HYDRA had experimented on and practically raised with the goal of having her become weapon of mass psychological destruction, he expected to hear that you’d done something apprehensible. Maybe you’d turned the other occupants of the tower against each other and caused a modern-day civil war, maybe you’d figured out a way to level the tower entirely, he had no idea. It wasn’t until five minutes ago when he finally slid into his office chair and viewed the new intel that he felt a bit of relief, and yet a new kind of stress. HYDRA wants you back.
---
No one stays in the tower on the weekends. Sam heads off to see family, Wanda and Vision jet away for weekend stays seemingly anywhere but here, and even Torres has plans. You assume Bucky is gone too, considering you haven’t heard anyone else around since you last saw Sam leaving at sunset.
As you sit comfortably on the couch in the living area, wearing nothing but an oversized t-shirt and a pair of fuzzy socks, you feel almost at home for once. You’re flipping through the various movie options on Netflix when you hear the elevator ding and the doors begin sliding open. You freeze with your thumb hovering over the remote in your hand as your eyes slowly drift to the left. Bucky Barnes. Of course he doesn’t have any weekend plans. Why would he? The man is practically insufferable anytime he opens his mouth. He shoots you an uninterested look as he steps into the living area and starts pulling his leather jacket off.
Fuck. He’s the one freezing in place when his gaze floats down to your lap and he notices the skin of your thighs. He tosses his leather jacket onto the opposite side of the couch and narrows his eyes at you before moving toward the kitchen for a bottle of water.
“You don’t have pants?” He asks, his disdain for you evident in his tone.
“I was held in captivity for over a decade, what are pants?” He hates when you’re sarcastic.
“Fine, no pants. But you have a TV in your room, don’t you?” He wants you locked away in there where he won’t even have the chance to let his eyes betray the rest of him.
“Are you going to be here all weekend?” You turn your body so you can see him over the back of the couch. You lock eyes with him as he takes a gulp from his water bottle. He notices the way your gaze drifts downward, focusing on his lips for a brief moment before trailing even further down to the tight shirt he’s wearing.
“Yep.” He puts emphasis on the ‘p’ at the end of the small, simple word.
“Do you like movies?” An olive branch, you’re extending an olive branch. If you’re stuck with him as your only company for the next 48 hours, you sure as hell aren’t going to make it easy for him to hate you. Why make yourself any more miserable? In the event that it does that opposite and makes him hate you even more, you’ll still feel like you won.
Your question caught Bucky off guard. You turn to face the TV once again and he watches as you use the remote to rifle through a category titled Action Movies.
“I prefer books.” He says flatly.
“If you can get over yourself for two hours, you could watch something with me. It’s up to you.”
You didn’t expect him to go for it, in fact, you don’t even know if you actually wanted him to. At first, you thought he rejected the offer. He scooped his leather jacket up off of the couch, shot you an unreadable sideways glance, and disappeared into his room, locking the door behind him. You’ve just decided on a movie when Bucky reappears, wearing black sweats and stupidly, only his dog tags adorning his chest. When he comes into view, your eyes immediately wander, taking in the entirety of his build. Fuck. How does someone who acts like such an ass end up looking like such a god? Bucky notices the way your gaze settles just above his waistband and he can’t stop the smirk that takes over his features.
“You don’t have a shirt?” You ask, mimicking his tone from earlier.
“I was held in captivity for decades, what is a shirt?” He didn’t quite mean to let you in on his past, but there it is. You sit before him stunned, your widened eyes dropping down to look over his vibranium arm with a new understanding. “You really haven’t been in my mind, have you?” You shake your head, still unsure of what to say to him. Bucky solves the issue at hand by taking a few more steps forward and sinking into the couch one cushion away from you. “What are we watching?”
---
Shit goes sideways really fast in your life. You were only half an hour into the movie when the power suddenly went out and the dim emergency lights in the hallway kicked on. You and Bucky froze and looked at each other with a mix of confusion and anticipation, both of you feeling that something was off. It was less than a second later when Bucky heard the commotion in the elevator shaft and he knew exactly what was coming. He was on top of you in an instant, forcing your back down on the couch before rolling the both of you off and onto the floor. He managed a second roll once you landed on top of him on the hardwood, making sure that when the movement stopped, you were securely underneath him and his body was shielding yours. You watched his face as he seemed to move on autopilot, reaching up to the coffee table and breaking a glass vase with one hand before using the shards of glass to deter the two men rappelling in through the now blown-in elevator doors. It all happened so fast, seeming to begin and end in all under 10 seconds, before Bucky was shoving you down the hallway toward the emergency stairwell.
He led you down four flights before pulling you through another metal door, into yet another dimly lit hallway. When you were both safely tucked away in a briefing room, he pulled his phone out of the pocket of his sweats and called Sam, setting it on speaker and placing the device on the table in the center of the room. Now you stand still, frozen, unsure of why you feel almost nothing. No fear, no concern, nothing. You simply feel like you have no control over anything and there’s nothing you can do to help or hurt the current situation. When Bucky grabs your wrist and pulls you toward the table, lifting you by your hips to sit you on top of it, you don’t resist.
“Are you okay?” He asks hurriedly, scanning your entire body with his eyes as his hands cup your cheeks and tilt your head from side to side. He’s looking for any sign of injury, but there’s nothing. “Say something.”
“Bucky? What’s going on?” Sam’s voice rings out from the phone on the table, snapping you out of whatever silent haze you were in.
“The tower’s been breached, we need to get out of here, now.” Bucky responds tersely. He still holds your face in his hands. You blink a few times, coming back to your senses, before looking up into his eyes. Relief. You see relief soaking into his features as he realizes you’re fine. “You’re okay?” He needs to hear you say it. You nod slowly, his palms brushing over your cheeks as you do.
“I’m good, I’m okay.” You whisper.
“Can you get down to the garage?” Sam questions. You can hear the sounds of him typing through the phone, probably sending out an alert to everyone he can.
“We’ll figure out a way to.” Bucky assures him.
“I’ll send you an address for a safehouse, you take her there and you stay put. Let me know when you get into a car. Fury says a strike team is already on the way.”
So much for living in the tower being the way to keep you safe.
---
You wouldn’t have expected such a broad, muscular guy to be so stealthy. Bucky got the two of you down to the garage and into a car in what you imagine was record-breaking time. It truly would’ve been a feat if he’d managed to get back upstairs and grab you some pants or himself a shirt as well, but you can see how that wasn’t really an option.
You sit in the passenger seat now, using his phone to text Sam and let him know that you made it out safe and are on the way to the address he sent. It’s quiet in the car for a couple of minutes, the only sounds being the tires against the road and a light rain coming down on the windshield as Bucky speeds down a dark highway. You set his phone in a cupholder by the gearshift before placing your hands on your still bare thighs. In this moment, you wish you could read into Bucky’s thoughts. What’s going on in his head? Does he have any idea who those men might’ve been? What they might’ve been there for? You don’t want to come across as conceited or self-centered but you’re pretty damn sure they were there for you, most likely on behalf of HYDRA. Maybe if you could read into his thoughts, he’d have a different suspicion and it would ease your growing anxiety.
“Is that the first time the tower’s ever been breached?” Your voice comes out too soft, too meek for your own liking. Bucky lets out a deep breath before relaxing in the driver’s seat. He wanted to hear your voice more than he realized.
“As far as I know, yeah.” He says with a nod, keeping his eyes on the road ahead. That isn’t quite what you wanted to hear. Maybe something along the lines of oh no, it happened a hundred times before you moved in would’ve made you feel better. Bucky doesn’t like the quiet that takes over the car after he gives you his answer. It feels tense, and not your typical can’t-stand-each-other kind of tense. “There are a million different reasons they could’ve been there.” He knows what you’re thinking, that they were more than likely there for you.
“You don’t have to try and make me feel better.” Your voice isn’t so soft anymore.
“You think they were there for you.”
“It makes the most sense, HYDRA has never really been known to let shit go.”
“I know.” He says it so emotionlessly but the way the realization settles on your shoulders is anything but. You feel what can only be described as a fist wrapping around your heart and squeezing it. He knows. He knows about HYDRA, he knows how they operate. He knows because he’s been through their shit, probably even more intensely than you.
“I don’t have any pants.” You mumble, pushing away the heavy topic of the most heinous organization that you know to exist. Bucky chuckles under his breath as he steers the car around a curve. He finds you annoyingly likable for someone he’s intent on hating.
When you pull up to the safehouse forty-five minutes later, you’re more than relieved to see that though it’s a very small cabin on the outskirts of a national park, there are two bedrooms. After checking in with Sam on the phone, you leave Bucky in the living room while you wander down the short hallway, trying to decide which bedroom you’ll be calling your own tonight.
“Did you take me off of speaker?” Sam asks Bucky in a hushed tone, praying you’re out of earshot. Bucky sinks into the couch and pinches the bridge of his nose with the index finger and thumb of his vibranium hand.
“Yeah, what’s up?”
“She was the target tonight. HYDRA wants her back. They don’t want her dead, they want her back.”
“And you didn’t want to say this to her?” Bucky asks in a whisper.
“She probably has PTSD from what they did to her all of those years, there’s no sense in upsetting her if we don’t have to yet. For now, as long as she’s safe with you, we don’t have to tell her.” Sam explains quickly. Bucky can hear the din of an airport coming through the phone speaker. Sam’s trying his best to get back to New York on short notice, which tells Bucky it’s definitely serious.
“She already has her suspicions.” Bucky points out. He glances over his shoulder and down the hall, just as you’re stepping out of one bedroom and into the next.
�� “Just…don’t let her out of your sight. At all.”
Bucky stays seated on the couch for a few seconds after hanging up the call with Sam. His mind is speed running through the various outcomes of this whole situation. There’s a chance HYDRA already knows about the safehouse and they’re planning to hit it sometime tonight. There’s a chance HYDRA doesn’t know shit about where the two of you are right now and you’re safe at least while you’re here. There’s a chance you get pissed at Bucky and climb out a window in the middle of the night. Fuck. How did he end up being the one here with you?
You’re rummaging through a dresser in the largest bedroom at the back of the cabin when Bucky taps his knuckles on the already open door and steps in. You’re on your knees, digging through the bottom drawer, with your hair falling forward and obscuring your face from him. His eyes follow every move you make as you tuck the hair behind your ear and glance over at him.
“Is this where you’re sleeping?” He asks, tilting his head in the direction of the queen-sized bed. You follow his gaze, taking in the thin blue quilt and sad, flat looking pillows. You nod slowly.
“Yeah.” You respond, pushing the drawer shut and rising to your feet. You were looking for an extra pair of pants but the dresser only seemed to hold various extra blankets, sheets, and towels. Bucky nods, his eyes drifting back to the bed as if he’s deep in thought. When he tosses his phone onto the bed, you narrow your eyes at him. “I said I’m taking this one.”
“We both are.” He says defiantly, taking a step further into the room before closing the bedroom door behind him. He fishes the car keys out of his pocket and drops them on top of the dresser before heading for the bed.
“What the hell does that mean? There are two rooms, two beds. There isn’t a chance in hell we’re sleeping together.” You cross your arms over your chest, shaking your head aggressively. You watch him as he starts pulling the covers back on the far side of the bed.
“You just told me that you think those men were there for you. If you’re right, those guys were able to breach the equivalent of a maximum-security prison on steroids. And you want to sleep alone? In a room with a window?” He questions you as if he doesn’t already know that those men were most definitely there for you. He sees hesitation in your eyes, and he knows he’s got you there. You crave safety, security. You won’t fight him very hard on this and he knows it.
“I’m not wearing any pants.” As soon as the sentence leaves your mouth, you’re aware that you sound like a damn kid. A whiny kid.
“I’ll give you my pants if you shut up about it already.” Bucky promises. He stands next to the bed, with his hands firmly on his hips, waiting to see what your next move will be.
“Fine, give me your pants and I’ll suffer through the night.”
“In this bed?” He gestures toward it with his vibranium hand. You nod. “Say it.”
“In this bed.” You agree, with every bit of a bad attitude brimming your tone.
It’s not long after that that you find yourself wearing another man’s baggy sweats as you lay mere inches away from him. He’s close enough that you can feel his body heat warming the space beneath the covers, but not so close that there’s a threat of bodily contact.
Bucky’s wide awake beside you. He’s watching in the darkness as the quilt over your side rises up and then drops down again with every inhale and exhale. He usually has trouble sleeping, but knowing exactly who’s after you and what they’re capable of is giving him even more trouble.
“Are you still awake?” You whisper almost inaudibly. You’re facing away from Bucky so you didn’t notice the way he’s been staring at your back, watching you breathe.
“Yeah.” You’re silent for quite a few seconds after his response, but he knows your mind is working overtime. “What?”
“Nothing, I was just wondering.” Another minute of silence goes by before you roll onto your back and heave a deep sigh. Bucky waits patiently. He counts the seconds as they go by. One. Two. Three. Four. F— “If you weren’t there tonight—”
“Don’t think about that.” He warns. His eyes coast over the side of your face. He can see the worry, the stress playing on your features.
“But if you weren’t, I would’ve ended right back where I was.” You voice trembles in the slightest, and you hope he doesn’t notice it. He notices. Bucky’s fists clench beneath the bedsheets.
“You don’t even know if it was them, or if they were after you.” You roll over to face him now and he can see the tears gathering in your eyes, glinting in the moonlight from the window.
“I know.” You say assuredly, without a trace of doubt behind your words. Bucky knows he can’t lie to you, he can’t convince you that you didn’t nearly end up back in HYDRA’s clutches tonight. He can’t lie to you, and he won’t.
“Do you feel safe right now? Here?” He asks, his tone softer than you’ve ever heard it before. You search his face before answering with a small nod. “Focus on that. Don’t work yourself up over what could’ve happened. Just rest tonight and we’ll figure it out in the morning.”
“I’m already worked up, I can’t sleep.”
“I gave you my pants for you to lie here all night and not sleep?” He asks jokingly. You move your leg under the covers and kick his shin lightly. When you start to pull your leg back to your side of the bed, something stops you.
“Do you want them back?” You offer. Bucky raises an eyebrow at you, unsure of where you’re going with this. It’s as if the playfulness of the moment is erasing the fear and stress in your mind, so you go with it. “I’ll give them back.”
“So, all of that complaining about not having pants was what? An attempt to get me out of mine?” Bucky teases. He props his head up on one hand over his pillow, a smirk tugging on the corners of his lips.
“You gave in pretty easily, didn’t you? I think you wanted to take them off.” You retort, nudging his leg with yours again. Bucky licks his bottom lip as he gauges the tension growing between the two of you. Is this what you do to help you fall asleep? To test the waters, he places a hand right above the knee of the leg you keep nudging him with. It’s as if his touch sets off an electric spark, you feel it dancing from your knee all the way up to your chest and then right back down. The feeling settles between your legs.
“I was doing you a favor.” He rasps, rubbing light circles on your leg with his thumb. “And I was trying to shut you up.” Silence is becoming familiar between the two of you. You look at him for a long moment, mesmerized by the way his thumb is circling against the fabric of the sweats that he gave you. You find yourself staring first into his eyes, and then at his lips. You’d ask yourself what the hell you’re thinking but, let’s be honest: you’re not thinking.
“Would you do me one more favor?”
“What’s that?” Bucky asks as his hand inches a bit further up your thigh.
“Shut me up.”
---
There are a thousand reasons Bucky can think of to not be doing exactly what he’s doing right now. A thousand reasons to not be sucking on your bottom lip and grinding his erection against your clothed cunt. Maybe even a thousand and one reasons not to be absolutely fucking loving every second of it. But every filthy little moan and whimper that graces his ears only spurs him on. He’s doing you a favor, right?
“This isn’t really shutting you up.” You can feel his smirk against the skin of your neck as he slows the movement of his hips and begins grinding against you at a tortuously useless pace. “Maybe we should try it with the sweats out of the way, see if that shuts you up.”
“Yeah, that’s an idea.” The words come out breathlessly. You place your hands against Bucky’s shoulders and push him off of you. He returns to his side of the bed, trying to calm himself down as you lay beside him and shimmy out of his sweats. As far as he knows, that’s all you’re taking off. But in a moment of boldness, you decided to speed things up a bit and take your panties off with them. When you glance over and see him lying on his back, with the moonlight highlighting the sweat that glistens over the ridges of his abs, all you can think about is him. Being on him, being under him, you need him. He looks back at you with a daring look and you’re sold, you’re straddling his hips, hovering right over his boxers in an instant.
Bucky’s breath hitches in his throat when his flesh palm lands against your hip, just beneath the fabric of your t-shirt, and he only feels skin. Where’s the waistband of your panties? You see the surprise on his face as he grips your hips tighter, keeping you from sitting down and fulling straddling him.
“I thought I said try it with the sweats out of the way.” He tsks playfully. You have no idea how badly he wants to rip his boxers off and plunge his cock so deep inside you that you scream.
“Oops, I must’ve misheard you.” Your mischievous smile makes his cock harden that last little bit, and he can feel the way his balls begin aching to be emptied. He fucking hates you for making him feel this way.
“I should’ve known that being a good girl and listening wasn’t going to be your thing.” He says with a shake of his head. You’re about to say something else teasing and sarcastic when Bucky’s fingers dig into your hips sharply, surely leaving bruises, and he forces you to sit down across the hard shaft of his cock. Your wet cunt instantly soaks the fabric of his boxers and within two seconds, he can feel how wet you really are for him. For him. He hates you. He hates you. He hates you. He has to remind himself repeatedly as you begin circling your hips, because he fears he’s quickly forgetting that fact. You grind down with a little more pressure and he can feel a bead of precum slipping down the head of his cock. A soft groan slips out of him and he starts pushing your t-shirt up higher and higher until he’s pulling it over your head. The pale moonlight is just enough to let him see your bare chest and again, he’s chanting in his head. He hates you. He’s just doing this to make you feel better, to get your mind off of the HYDRA shit so you can sleep tonight. That’s all it is, right? A favor. As you lean down and start kissing and sucking on the skin of his neck, he feels your fingertips slowly dragging his boxers down by the waistband. He hates you.
At some point, Bucky helped you get his boxers all the way down his legs and he kicked them off and away until they were lost beneath the mess of sheets and blankets atop the bed. When your hand fisted around his cock the first time, he rutted into your hand without meaning to. It was like instinct. You wrapped your fist around him a little tighter and pressed your lips against his in a desperate kiss as he thrusted into your hand a second time, letting his precum wet your palm and then using it as lube. You would’ve been satisfied letting him fuck your hand, honestly. You probably could’ve orgasmed just from that experience alone, but you didn’t need him knowing you were that easy for him. That’s what got you to where you are now,
“I hate you.” You lie straight through your teeth as you drag your cunt back and forth along the length of his cock. Every time the head of it rubs against your clit, Bucky can feel your thighs tremble on either side of him and he’s fighting the urge to bend you over the bed and ruin you.
“I hate you too.” He lies right back. When you look into each other’s eyes, you both know there isn’t much truth coming from either of your mouths. “Sit on my cock.”
Never have you ever been one to listen when a man tells you what to do, until this moment, with Bucky Barnes. He watches as you position the head of his cock just right at your entrance. You’d think a man would want to watch as his entire length disappears inside of you, but no. Bucky looks up at your face as soon as the tip notches inside you. He watches with heavy breaths and groans falling from his lips as your mouth forms a perfect ‘o’ shape and your eyes scrunch closed at the way your walls stretch to fit him in.
“That’s it, don’t stop until you take it all.” Filthy. He’s fucking filthy. And you listen to every word he says, sinking down until you feel his balls pressing firmly against your ass. “Shit.” When he finally tears his eyes away from your face and gets a look at where you’re so deeply connected, he can’t fucking stand it. It’s too much and not enough all at the same time. “You have to move.” He groans, slipping his flesh hand further back from your hip to grab your ass.
“I can’t.” You whimper, leaning forward and bracing your hands on the mattress, on either side of his head.
“Move or get off of my cock.” You’d almost be offended if you didn’t know that he’s saying that because he’s close to blowing his load in you too early. You can feel the way his balls are tightening against your ass and you know he’s desperate. So, you try. You lift yourself up one single inch, and then slide back down. Then two inches, then back down. You repeat it over and over slowly, building up a rhythm as your own pleasure begins to grow. “Fuck, maybe you’re a good listener after all.”
“Stop talking.” You moan out, picking up the pace. You’re fully fucking his cock now, your bodies making obscene sounds as skin slaps against skin repeatedly. “I hate you.”
“Yeah, hate me a little more and see what that gets you.” He taunts, squeezing your ass with both hands and using his grasp there to help guide the up and down movement of your hips. You’re close and truthfully, you don’t even want to tell him.
The trouble really starts when he moves his flesh hand to your lower stomach and presses his thumb against your clit, offering a delicious friction there as you ride his dick. The increase in pleasure makes it even harder to think straight. You’re not thinking straight in the slightest when you move your hands to his chest, not paying attention to the fact that you have one hand over his heart.
“I’m close.” You whimper, earning you another squeeze of your ass with his vibranium hand and a bit more pressure against your clit. Your eyes are shut tightly as you focus on the feeling of his cock dragging along your walls and the tip of it nearing your cervix with every snap of your hips.
When you open your eyes and look down at him, his blue eyes flit up to meet yours and that’s when you realize the mistake you’ve made. He starts rubbing circles against your clit the moment your eyes meet, sending you over the edge. Your orgasm crashes in like a tidal wave, sweeping and relentless. With your hands on Bucky’s bare chest and your eyes locked, you lose the last shred of control you have, the last morsel of control over your abilities slips from your grasp. He feels it. Bucky feels every bit of pleasure that’s coursing through your body, he feels every thought in your mind, he hears your inner voice screaming for him. In the heat of the moment, you pour every sensation that you’re feeling straight into Bucky’s nervous system.
He can’t even speak as his orgasm hits ten times harder than it ever has before. He knows it’s coming from the eye contact and your hand on his chest, he can feel the uncharacteristic coolness beneath your palm that rests over his heart. It’s why he clamps his own hand over yours on his chest and uses his vibranium arm to wrap around your back and pull you down against him. As Bucky’s cum paints your walls, filling you so full that it starts dripping down his shaft, he can’t stop thrusting up into you. He can’t stop. He doesn’t want to stop.
“Bucky, I’m…” You suck in a deep breath as you collapse on his chest, though he keeps your hand anchored over his heart. “I’m full, I can’t…” He shushes you as he continues pushing his cock up into your pussy. He slows but doesn’t stop.
“Don’t move.” He’s begging. Though his tone doesn’t sound like it, he’s fully aware that that’s what he’s doing. You haven’t fully caught your breath yet, but a soft laugh leaves your lips.
“Move or get off of my cock.” You repeat his earlier words playfully.
“I hate you.”
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#bucky barnes fic#bucky barnes#bucky barnes fanfiction#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes smut#bucky barnes x you#the winter soldier#winter soldier
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Trust
Bucky Barnes x Reader, The Winter Soldier x Reader
Summary: Set during the end of ‘Captain America: The Winter Soldier’. You had been forced to work as a nurse for Hydra’s soldiers, you never expected The Winter Soldier to be one of them. What happens when he starts to care about you?
Word Count: 1.3k
Soldiers gripped your arm tightly, dragging you through the corridor and into an open room. Your eyes immediately found Bucky sitting back in the chair in the middle; guards standing all around him with their weapons drawn. His eyes followed you as you were pulled in.
The soldiers pushed you over to Pierce and held you still as you struggled, attempting to break free from them grasp.
“He’s not listening to us.” Pierce says firmly before looming over you, his breath grazing your cheeks.
“I know you two have… a connection” he says with a scowl. “Get him to listen to us, or.. watch me break him”
You let out a deep breath as your eyes darken. You glance over at Bucky to see his head facing down to the ground; you’d never seen him like this before. When Hydra forced you to work as a nurse for his soldiers, you’d never thought The Winter Soldier would be one of them.
“Get everyone out” you demand, wanting to be left alone with him. Pierce raises a hand and the soldiers let go of you before leaving the room.
“You too” you say to Pierce as you stare him down. You weren’t afraid to make it known how much you hated him. Pierce looked you over as he licked his bottom lip. “You have 10 minutes” he growled before storming out of the room.
Within seconds you’re moving over to the Bucky, crouching down in front of him in hopes to get his attention. His eyes flicker up to yours as he scans your face. His memory was wiped so often, he could barely recognise who you were.
“Are you alright..?” You asked softly, careful to not alarm him.
His eyes continued looking you over, taking in your features as he listened to your words; your voice growing familiar.
“What is it..?” You asked softly, almost whispering.
His chest rose and fell as he breathed in slowly.
“There was a man..” he said quietly “on the bridge. I knew him” he added before looking up at you.
Your chest ached as he spoke; Hydra had taken so much away from him. Although he was slipping through the cracks; you knew they would push him back into submission. You sighed as he finished speaking, wishing you could do more to help him.
“He called me.. Bucky” he continued as he looked into your eyes.
“That’s my name.. isn’t it?” He asks with a gentle tone. All you could do was nod in response; you’d seen enough of his file to know the basic details about him. About what Hydra had turned him into.
His head hung low, his mind racing with memories he could not understand. You wanted to reach out, to somehow console him. You couldn’t pull your eyes away from him; it pained you to see him like this. Your hand reached out to move the strands of hair from his face. His eyes were focused, watching you but not pulling away from your touch.
“They- they will keep hurting you” you say softly. You hated what Hydra had done; but who knew what would happen to him if he fought them back on this. “I don’t.. know how to help you” you added quietly, your eyes falling to the floor as they grew teary.
Bucky’s eyes followed your movement, almost as though he was studying you. He couldn’t understand your care for him. He couldn’t remember the last time anyone did care for him.
Pierce and his men burst through the door, rushing over to you. His men pulled you up from the ground, their hands gripping your arms tightly causing you to wince in pain. Bucky’s eyes were glued on you as he fought the urge to stand up.
Pierce pressed a gun to your head as his eyes stayed on Bucky.
“Are you ready to comply?” He said, cocking his head as he finished speaking.
Bucky took in a deep breath and nodded before two soldiers pushed him back into his seat. The soldier on you pulled you out of the room; the last thing you heard were Bucky’s pained screams.
-
Your eyes were glued to the TV, watching it all unfold. Watching Hydra finally being exposed. You couldn’t believe it. The news had reported signs of “The Winter Soldier” and “Captain America” involved. Watching all the explosions on the screen caused you to cry. You knew he must be dead.
As the hours passed, you finally managed to leave your apartment. You needed to get some food and clear your mind. You’d clearly just lost your forced job for Hydra.. but what the hell were you supposed to do now.
When you returned to your apartment, you opened the door and reached for the light with one hand whilst you held a bag of food in the other.
A figure stood in the corner of the lounge causing your heart to feel as though it had stopped in your chest. You let out a gasp before stepping back against the door. You squinted your eyes as your vision began to focus.
“Bucky…” you whispered as you stepped forward.
“Don’t” he replied quickly. “Don’t get too close” he added.
You stopped in your tracks and your heart pounded in your chest. Your eyes scanned his features. His face had been wounded from what you could see. You couldn’t believe he survived.
“You’re hurt..” you say quietly, trying to make him feel comfortable as you spoke.
“I’m fine” he answers quickly.
You place the food down on the table in front of you, moving slowly. You watch each other carefully.
“Would you like something to eat?” You offer with a soft smile, trying your best to break the tension. You can see him contemplating, his mind appears to be racing. His eyes are scanning your features, as though he is unsure if he can trust you.
Eventually, he nods and steps forward. You place a container of food down in front of him; he eats slowly and carefully. You can’t help but watch him, wondering when was the last time he ate a genuine meal. When the two of you finished eating, he stood back again.
“Can I see your wound..? Please” you asked gently, referring to the cut on his cheekbone.
His eyes looked down to the ground as you finished speaking. After a few seconds he gave you a small nod; putting his trust in you. You quickly grabbed some supplies and pulled a stool out for him. You ask him to sit and he did.
As you cleaned up his wound, his eyes followed you; focusing on your movements. He was analysing you, dissecting you. You could see the confusion in his eyes as you worked carefully; gently. ‘When was the last time someone treated him with genuine care?’ You thought to yourself.
Eventually you stepped back, looking over his face. “That should do it” you said with a gentle smile as he locked eyes with you. His lips parted as though he wanted to speak but he soon shut them.
“If you want, you can use my shower?” You began to say. “I don’t exactly have anything.. your size. But I could get some” you add with a soft chuckle.
His eyes darted back and forth, debating on his next move. He didn’t truly know why he had come here in the first place.
He nodded again, accepting your offer.
You smiled at him; he noticed the way your eyes sparkled from the overhead light. You walked him over to the bathroom, showing him where everything was.
“Take as long as you need” you said quietly. He turned back towards you, looming over you and yet you knew he was no threat.
He shut the door behind him, leaving you out in the hall. He could not understand what was happening; all these memories were coming back to haunt him. For now, he at least knew that he could trust you. That you would not hurt him. He would hold onto that thought, and get through the night.
#bucky barnes x you#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes#the winter soldier x reader#the winter soldier#james buchanan barnes#james bucky buchanan barnes#Bucky Barnes imagine#the winter soldier fic
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WWII!Bucky x Nurse!Reader Part 1
Summary: A story about you and Bucky's growing relationship and how you ended up together.
You strip an old bed of dirty sheets and finish tucking the pristine white sheet onto the matress. The off white sheets of the last patient lay in a mound on the floor. You try to pick up all the sheets, but they tower over you to block your view when bundled together; some parts drag on the floor.
"Always on work huh?" Bucky, a soldier you met just a few weeks ago, questions you.
"Just the best for our soldiers." You say, looking around the sheets to see Bucky. He smiles and relieves you of a little over half your load.
"No thank you?" He questions proudly. You roll your eyes at the man. Ever since you kissed him on the cheek two days ago as a thank you, he has been waiting for a special thank you every time he helps you out of a bind. He use to rescue you without a word, never needing a reward or praise, just the right to tease you about it here or there.
"Sorry Bucky, kisses are only for helping with very important tasks."
"Hmm..I wonder what a real kiss would cost then?" Buck purposely thinks a loud. You try to hold back your laugh, but fail to do so. He is getting more brave with his flirting towards you. Before he was still a little nervous, shy even.
"You would have to help me with something extraordinarily big for that mister."
"What if I save up my rewards for one? Cash all of them in at once?" You ignore his teasing and instead give him a normal thank you to replace the one he is looking for.
"Thanks." You mumble. Naturally you would not accept help with the things you do from other soldiers. You are independent and strong. When you would get help, the men would label you as another helpless dame and nothing got on your nerves quicker. You could never work that false label off.
It was different with Bucky though. He never made fun of you to be mean. He might tease you, but you always find it cute.
"So how has your week been here so far?"
"We have been getting less wounded soldiers and they are healing quicker. I cannot help, but note the number of soldier here are dwindling." You drop your sheets in a laundry basket and Bucky does the same. Following your example.
"Don't tell anyone I told you this, but I think they are being captured by enemy troops." You grimace at his words.
"Nazis or the new threat? Hydra?"
"You know about them?" Bucky questions in surprise. No one is suppose to know about them. Especially the nurses. "I am not blind Buck. I put two and two together from tidbits of stories from the wounded. More than half of our soldiers have gone to the Hydra base and all of them have been labeled under MIA or KIA."
Bucky is quiet before he continues the heavy conversation. "That's what I came here to talk to you about. I have been assigned the job of getting rid of a Hydra strong hold with the Howling Commandos."
"I understand." You say, as you swallow the lump that has just formed in your throat. You cannot lose him. You never needed someone before, but you admit it; you do not know what you will do without him by your side. He pulls you aside and puts his hands on your shoulders.
"I have to do this." You nod at him, trying to figure out what to say. Trying to be strong for him.
"You will be back, ok." You say those words more as a reassurance to yourself than a promise to him. He kisses you on the cheek before walking off to the caravan with other soldiers. You watch him climb in and you both wave to each other. You do not leave until the dust his car kicked up has faded and he is gone.
Part 2
#bucky barnes x you#bucky barnes x reader#x reader fanfiction#avengers fanfiction#WWII!Bucky Barnes x reader#bucky barnes x nurse!reader#winter soldier x reader
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Timeless Love.
~ gif not mine credit to owner ~
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x fem!Reader
Summary: Bucky might have met the love of his life in the middle of a war, he just wished he was able to live a life with her.
Word count: 6,598
Warnings: angst. kidnapping. fluff. Hydra. forced breeding. forced miscarriage.
A/N: enjoyed writing this!! Thank you for the request. Also thank you to @buckys-wintersoldier for helping me when I needed it!🤍
Masterlist
“Y/n L/n. 107th.”
She nodded smiling at her friend who had also been given the same unit. All the nurses - professional and volunteers alike were waiting for their names to be called to hear what unit they would be stationed with.
Then she was given the news that she was going to be the matron. And at twenty four years old that was a massive accomplishment, herself and her parents were beyond proud.
“Hey doc” she couldn’t help but roll her eyes at hearing the familiar voice that she began hearing everyday. “I’m injured doll, need your help to patch me back up”
Looking up for the clipboard she carried around she saw the Sergeant who had captured all the attention from all the nurses. Though he never paid any mind to them, just her.
James Buchanan Barnes.
“Firstly I’m not a doctor, just a nurse and secondly this is your seventh time coming here this week”
“Firstly you should be a doctor, better than the one we’ve got and secondly I keep getting hurt”
“Bucky… it’s only Wednesday.”
“You love me. Aren’t you going to ask me what my very serious injury is?”
“I don’t love you. Okay, what seems to be the problem Sergeant?”
“Y-you don’t love me? I’m going to cry myself to sleep tonight thanks to you!”
“What’s your injury Sergeant?”
“My heart” he places his hand on his chest and looks up at her sympathetically. “My heart hurts doll”
“James… you do realise that your heart is on the left side not the right…”
Moving his hand to the left side “Oh… are you sure?”
“Yes I’m sure” chuckling at his facial expression, he winks causing her to laugh.
“The truth is that I just wanted to see you, I like you even though you’re being mean to me” he pouts and bats his eyelashes as he kicked his legs back and forth.
“How am I being mean to you?” She asks whilst counting stock, trying her hardest to ignore the intense gaze of his ocean blue eyes on her back.
“Because you won’t let me take you dancing”
“You should go with one of the other nurses James”
“I don’t want any of the other nurses, just you”
“You-“
“Y/n! Y/n quick we need you!” Mary’s panic scream interrupted her. Jumping up and rushing out of the tent with Bucky right behind her, a group of men carrying a stretcher with a man lying on it. His right leg gone as well as his left arm.
“Get him in here” Bucky opens the flaps of the tent, his eyes trained on the young soldier as they passed him. “Help me transfer him on to the bed, carefully.”
Bucky watched on as Y/n took control, ordering the nurses around and trying to get the soldiers to move away so she could work. When one of the men wouldn’t move Bucky stepped in.
It wasn’t long before Y/n made everyone get out except for the nurses.
“Go” Bucky’s head snapped from the medical tent to Dum Dum sitting next to him, giving the man a questioning look, Dum Dum laughed. “The doc”
“Don’t know what you’re talking about” he mumbled before downing the rest of his drink.
“You’ve been turning down women all night and I’m honestly surprised that you haven’t burnt a hole into the tent with how intense you’ve been looking at it. Oh and let’s not forget that you’ve been obsessed from the second you laid eyes on her”
“I-no I haven’t.”
“You have, and don’t bother trying to argue with me. Go and talk to her”
“And say what?”
“That’s on you” Bucky contemplated on whether or not to take his friend’s advice, it didn’t take too long before he was getting up and heading over to the medical tent. “Shes in her own tent” he heard from behind him so he changed course.
Standing outside the small tent he fixed his hair before pushing the flap aside, he found her sitting hunched over the small table one hand in her hair and the other scribbling away as she filled in paperwork.
“I can feel your eyes on me” her whispered voice snapped him out of his head.
“Are you alright doll?”
“I’m fine don’t worry, go and enjoy your night”
Moving closer to her he saw the tears falling freely down her cheeks. “Hey, hey why are you crying doll?”
“He… he didn’t make it. I tried everything bu-but it wasn’t enough, he was only seventeen Bucky.”
“Oh doll. You did everything you could-“
“But it wasn’t enough! And within the week his parents are going to know I failed, I failed to save their son”
Bucky pulled her into his arms, holding her close to his chest ignoring the feeling of her tears wetting his shirt. “It’s not your fault” he whispered over and over again as she fell apart in his arms.
“I failed”
“No you didn’t! Nobody would have been able to have saved him Y/n and you know that.”
“He was only seventeen Bucky. A child!”
“I know sweetheart, I know.”
As the laughing and music continued outside Bucky kept Y/n close to his chest, rocking them both from side to side slowly. Sleep began to overtake them, being the gentleman that he was he turned his back on her waiting for her to change into her nightwear.
“Goodnight doll”
“Stay… please”
“Of course” he was slightly shocked by seeing her shifting over in the small cot then patting the space she had created.
Climbing in next to her, wrapping her up and pulling her into his chest. Pressing his lips to her forehead “goodnight my love”
It became an unspoken routine between the two of them that Bucky would sleep in her bed, they ignored the teasing from all those around them - as if the nurses weren’t warming the soldiers beds themselves. There was nothing sexual about what they were doing, it was just two lost souls finding themselves seeking shelter within one another.
That however changed one night when Bucky went into their now shared tent finding her once again hunched over the table. “Hi doll”
“Hi Sergeant”
“Me and the guys move out tomorrow”
“I heard. How are you feeling?” She asked looking up from the papers in front of her.
“Nervous I won’t lie, but I’m going to miss you”
“I’m going to miss you too but you shouldn’t be gone long, right?”
“Two weeks, three at the most” he shrugged. “Doll, come and dance with me”
“There’s no music…”
“So? Come on” he held his hand out for her to take, his heart fluttering with the look she gave him as she puts her hand in his. “You are so pretty” he whispers as they swayed together.
“‘M not.”
“Yes you are. From the second I laid eyes on you I thought you were the most prettiest dame I had ever laid eyes on.”
“You’re lying!” She chuckled.
“I am not!”
“If you say so”
Bucky gently raises her head up by her chin, “I have never lied to you.”
“Bucky… kiss me please” she asked softly. Their lips met slowly at first before growing heatedly and passionately.
The next morning with only a thick blanket covering their naked bodies they basked in the silence of the camp, Bucky running his fingers through her hair and Y/n drawing invisible circles on his chest.
“When this war comes to an end me and you are going to get married” Bucky declared as he broke the silence.
“Don’t I get a say in this?”
“Nope” he chuckled. “Why, don’t you want to marry me?”
“And put up with you for the rest of my life?”
“Yeah, why what’s wrong with that?”
“You’re annoying”.
“And?” He drawls with a cheeky grin on his face.
“I’ll probably smoother you in your sleep?”
“And? Doll you aren’t giving me a good reason for why we shouldn’t get married”
“You honestly want to marry me?”
“More than anything, and I promise I’ll be an amazing husband and we’ll have so much fun together an-“
“Yes”
“-d we’ll make so many memories-“
“Yes”
“-and we’ll grow old toge-wait… yes?”
“Yes Bucky, I’ll marry you when the war is ov-“ her words get cut off from him pressing his lips to hers.
“I can’t wait to annoy you for the rest of our lives together”
Later that morning, before Dum Dum led his unit out of the camp heading to only where they knew they were going Bucky ran over to Y/n giving her a kiss and promised her that he would come back to her.
Since the only people left there was the nurses, injured men and some of the officials the camp was excruciatingly quiet. And since it was only just them… well the camp had become very boring.
Two weeks passed quicker than she thought, waiting to hear the loud chatter from the men to fill in the silence yet it never came. Another week went by and again there was no sight of them. Y/n was helping Private Smith sit up in more of a comfortable position when Mary came rushing in, slightly out of breath.
“Th-they’ve been captured!”
“What? How do you know?”
“Word just come in, I overheard it but apparently Captain America is going to rescue them because he knows someone in the unit”
“I-okay. Okay erm… we’ll need to get things set up for when they come back just incase they are hurt” Y/n rambled off, unaware that she was squeezing Smiths hand - not like he minded.
“He’ll be fine darling” Smith squeezed her hand back.
“I-I know. You need to eat-“
“I will don’t worry but you need to eat too darling as well”
Sitting down next to him they enjoyed a nice meal together, Smith doing everything to help get her mind off of Bucky and the others by talking to her about his life before the war, his wife and children, telling her all the plans he had planned when he got home. It worked. Until it was time to go to bed, being alone with her thoughts made her mind come up with all kinds of scenarios and most of them weren’t good.
It was another two weeks before word got to them that they were coming back. Captain America had saved them.
Y/n was in the medical tent filling out paperwork when applause erupted in the air as Captain America approached with the 107th behind him, hearing the cheers she jumped up and began getting things ready, as the first person was brought in her sole attention was on the solider and not the other one she had been worrying about in the five weeks since she had seen him.
“Hey! Let’s hear it for Captain America!” She smiled at hearing his voice as she concentrated on the patient in front of her.
“He’s already asked about you” Ann says as she put pressure on the solider’s wound.
“Ah, your the famous doc that he wouldn’t shut up talking about”
“Excuse me?”
“Barnes? Yeah he wouldn’t stop talking about you, if you ask me he’s in love with you” the guy winked.
It wasn’t until everything in the medical tent had calmed down that she had heard his voice again. “I’m injured doll”
Spinning around she sees him standing there with a grin on his dirt covered face. “Who are you?”
“Your future husband, silly. Missed you doll”
“I missed you too” hearing her words he crossed over to where she stood and placed his hands on her face, cupping her face before placing his lips against hers. Both sighing in content at the feeling they had both been missing for weeks.
“Are you hurt? Where?”
“‘M not hurt my love, just messing with you”
“Are you not going to introduce me Buck?” A new voice cut through making them take a step apart from each other.
“Y/n this is Steve, Steve this is my doll” Y/n smiled at the blond who happily returned the expression.
“It’s nice to meet the woman who this one wouldn’t stop talking about”
“I didn’t talk about her once” Bucky rushed out. “I didn’t doll” shaking his head whilst looking at her.
“He’s actually not the first person to tell me that” Y/n winked at Steve making the man laugh.
“I hate the both of you.”
A celebration was held that night when they came back, the men sharing the tale of how they were captured - all teasing each other when they said they weren’t scared. Telling the women how Captain America had told them to leave but they refused, Dum Dum said that they arrived together and were going to be leaving together. Everyone including Y/n hanging on to every word that was spoken of their rescue and how they defeated the enemy.
Bucky never spoke a word, no, he was too lost in watching the flames of the fire-pit flickering off Y/n’s face. Mesmerised by the way her eyes shined so brightly in the darkness, audibly groaning as he watched her bite her lip - his mind going straight to the gutters.
Much later that night Bucky took his time in making love to her.
The 107th Infantry Regiment had been teamed up with Steve to take down an organisation, Bucky promised her that he would contact her whenever they set up camp for the night. Every night they spoke even if it was just for a few minutes, he told her where they were and asked how everything back at camp was going, before ending their call he would tell her that he was coming back to her.
The last time she spoke to him he informed her that they were in Austria, he made her giggle when he complained that they had to go up the alps, telling her how cold it was. He then shocked her by telling her that he was in love with her. Before she could even respond the connection cut off.
She knew there was something wrong when she never received another call from him, Mary and Ann told her that he was just busy and that he would come back and everything was going to be fine. Every time she tried to speak with the General about the update of where they were he just walked away from her.
For two months she didn’t hear anything from him or from anyone, for two months she spent her time trying to take her mind off of the brunette who had wormed himself into her heart.
Mary came running over to the river where Y/n was sitting watching as the ducks swam past her. “Y/n… they’re back.”
Jumping up and running to where the men were, she looked around for the man who she had been missing more than anything, her eyes moved frantically from man to man who all seemed to have a problem with making eye contact with her. Her heart settled when a hand rested itself on her shoulder.
“Darlin’ I-I need to talk to you” it was Dum Dum.
“W-where is he? Dum…”
“Come with me love” he wrapped his arm around her shoulder and moved them to her tent. “I’m sorry darling, he… he didn’t make it”
“W-where is he though?”
“He fell off the train in the alps, we couldn’t find his body”
“No… no we need to fi-find him so his family can bury him… Dum please” his heart ached for the woman in front of him, all he could do was hold her in his arms as she broke down crying. He didn’t have the heart to tell her that Bucky’s last words to Steve was him begging the blond to make sure he looked after Y/n.
After crying for a good solid ten minutes she removed herself from his arms, wiped her tears before nodding and walking out - leaving Dum Dum standing there dumbfounded.
She knew herself that she wasn’t going to be able to be aloud time away to mourn, they weren’t dating or married, while they had feelings for each other and they spent every waking moment together it didn’t mean anything to the higher ups. Walking into the medical tent everyone went quiet at seeing her, Mary tried telling her that she could go and rest but Y/n just shook her head and got to work. She needed the distraction to take her mind away from the pain in her chest.
For months after she became a shell of herself, no longer laughing or smiling, no longer holding conversations with anyone, always working and taking little care for herself. And finally that day came when the war ended, everyone around her celebrated whilst she was packing up her things ready to head back home.
It had been two years since the war ended and people were still picking up their lives. Y/n was on her way to home after finishing her shift at the local hospital when a black car pulled up alongside her.
“Excuse me Miss, are you Y/n L/n?” A man asked as he got out of the car.
“I am, who are you?”
“Ah, we have a friend in common”
“We do? Wait what are you do-“
“Don’t make this harder than it has to be Miss L/n, wouldn’t want to hurt you.” Her eyes were wide as his hand tightened around her neck, her whole body trembling with fear. “Nighty night” he smirks as he presses a needle into her left arm.
Y/n woke up disoriented and dazed with her hands and ankles tied painfully tight, trying to speak but her words came out as slurred. “Ah little lambs awake. Go back to sleep little lamb” the same guy from side of the road spoke, but instead of a needle being pushed into her arm he raised his leg and kicked her straight in the face. Knocking her out instantly.
The second time she awoke was when a bucket of stale water was thrown into her face, both arms tied to arms of the chair she was uncomfortably sat in. A man infront of her smiled as she was trying to blink away the water droplets off her eyelashes.
“So you’re the precious little one that our Soldat keeps muttering about, no matter how many times we wipe his memories he always mutters your name”
“I-I don’t know who you are talking about”
“Soldat! You know him” the unnamed man shouts as if it was the most obvious thing. “Get her ready. Miss… I won’t lie to you, what’s going to happen next is going to hurt… well have fun” the man sighs dramatically and then chuckles making his way to the door, leaving her alone with four men holding guns.
Everything that happened next happened in a blur from two of the men grabbing her roughly and dragging her down the corridor, to being strapped down on a cold metal table - a meek looking man muttering something to her that she couldn’t quite understand before a large needle was injected into her arm.
When she woke the next time she was in a small room - on the floor, that only had a chipped white framed bed with a thin mattress on top of it, she grimaced at seeing the blotches of stains. Her nose crunched upward at the nasty aroma lingering the room. Y/n flinched at hearing noises just outside, she could hear clearly that a man was laughing which caused her to back away and put her hands over her ears trying desperately to block out the sound. Not understanding why everything was amplified.
“Ah, little lamb you’re awake. I’m pleased to tell you that it’s worked, your going to be our new little asset-“
“W-what have you done to me?”
“We’ve made you stronger than any man could wish to be! We’ve made you fast-“
“What have you done!”
“Right, we’ve injected you with a special serum that’s enhanced you. Your lucky little lamb, those before you never made it past the thirty minute mark after injection. Now you’re ready for your second phase of becoming our little asset, boys… be careful with her.” The second he finished his sentence the same four men from before came in and grabbed her roughly once again.
Being dragged down a corridor and into a room she tried to beg the men to let her go, pleading with them that she had a family and they’d be looking for her, she even tried bribing them. Her begs and cries fell on deaf ears.
“Now little lamb, from what I can gather is that this chair here, a beauty in her own right isn’t actually nice to those that sit in her. She’s not exactly been kind to your little boyfriend but that’s because he tries to fight it, I’m going to be kind to you and suggest that you don’t do the same as him otherwise it will hurt more.” He waved his hand in the air lazily and the two agents that had ahold of her shoved her towards the chair, once sat they strapped her legs down and placed a strap across her chest.
“P-please stop ple-“
“None of that little lamb, it’s not going to hurt… much” he chuckles. “Try not to scream, it’ll will only annoy me”
She goes to reply when a loud buzzing sound came from both sides to her, frozen and strapped into place as two metal plates places themselves onto her face. Y/n could hear the man in a white coat start to count down from five, squeezing her eyes shut tightly she saw a blinding white light as her whole body spasmed and withered in pain. The agents all flinched as the glass behind them started to crack. Once it finished and the plates were moved away from her head, her head started to roll to the side as drool began seeping from her mouth.
“Little lamb, do you remember me?”
“W-w-where am I?” Her mouth felt like it was full of cotton wool, and her tongue felt heavy.
“What’s your name?”
“Y-Y/n”
“Do it again”
By the eighth time of having her mind wiped the window was gone, she had blood seeping from her ears and nose, her bottom half was wet. After they were done with her she was dragged back to her cell and tossed on the ground as if she was nothing.
Y/n had forgotten everything. She didn’t know who she was or where she was. They kept calling her little lamb. Crawling into the corner of the room she pulled her knees up to her chest and began mumbling incoherently to herself.
Every time she closed her eyes all she saw was a blacked out face with the brightest blue eyes.
For years she moved and breathed when they told her too, she spoke when they said, she ate when they told her to eat - not like it was much mind you.
Throughout those years she didn’t understand her purpose of why she was there, she never got to leave the place she was kept at, all she did was train and fight with those who were a lot bigger then her in height and weight.
What she didn’t realise is that she did have a purpose for those she worked for, and that she was leaving the base to do their bidding. Completely unaware that she had taken so many lives.
She didn’t know what they were injecting into her every few months was the sperm belonging to the Winter Soldier in hopes that they could create an army of pure bred super soldiers that they could use to fight and take down their enemies without themselves having to do anything. Or that the nurse who seemed to take pity on her would give her a tablet to force the innocent little foetus to never grow up in a world that it would only be used for pain and suffering.
She didn’t understand what she had done wrong, one minute she was training with the other super soldiers and then she was being hit and shocked by the batons and then dragged to the room that kept the cryostasis chambers, she pleaded with the agents that she would be good, begging them not to put her in there again but they didn’t listen. Her whole body stiffened when they gave her the option - chamber or chair.
She hated the chamber.
But she hated the chair even more.
“See you in a little while little lamb.”
Fury had told them that SHIELD had discovered a new Hydra base and that they needed to go and take it down, not even an hour later they were fifteen minutes away from touching down at the location of the base.
“Cap, it looks deserted…” Natasha said as she slid her gun into her holster.
“We still need to be cautious” Steve told them. He tapped his foot against Bucky’s to gain his attention. “You okay?”
“Don’t worry about me. Seriously punk I’m fine”
“Alright. Everyone be careful.”
They moved quietly and slowly towards the base - that had seen better days - without any trouble, getting inside they all stole quick glances at Bucky making him sigh. “No I’ve never been here before”
“Didn’t say anything Barnes”
“You didn’t need too”
As they moved further inside it became obvious that they were the only ones there, apart from a few rats running around. Steve gave the orders out, him and Wanda going together down one hallway, Bucky and Sam - which he did mainly to annoy his best friend, Natasha and Tony going off to find the computers to see if they can get anything off them.
“How long do you think this place has been empty for?” Wanda asked.
“Not sure… it looks like awhile.”
“Steve?”
“Yeah?”
“Why are they all open?” Wanda points at cryo chambers, looking at Steve with a raised eyebrow.
“I don’t know? But let’s keep looking there has to be something here for us to ta-“ Wanda cuts him off with a gasp. “What’s wrong?”
“There’s a woman, she’s pretty…”
“What are you- Y/n?” Wanda’s head snapped from the woman in the chamber to the blond standing next to her.
“Do-do you know her? Wait… Y/n?”
Pressing his comms button Steve tells Bucky to come to where he was, told him to hurry up, hearing the distress tone of their captain Nat and Tony also went along too.
“Steve is this the same Y/n that Bucky calls out for in his sleep?” Wanda asked, watching him nodding slowly she looked down sadly.
The team had slowly grown use to Bucky screaming and hearing him thrash around in his sleep and had even witnessed him trashing him room trying to escape, thinking and believing he was still at the Hydra base he was kept at. One night it had actually taken all of them to try and pin him down on the ground after a horrific nightmare, it took Thor to grab Mjölnir to place it on Bucky’s naked chest to pin him down and for Wanda to use her magic to clear his mind just so they could get him to calm down. She apologised profusely for it the next day but he just smiled, placed his hand on hers gently and thanked her. But every night without fail they all heard him mumbling or crying out for Y/n and none of them wanted to overstep that boundary by asking him directly so they asked Steve who this person was and all he told them was that it wasn’t his place to say anything but that she meant the world to Bucky. And after that they let it be though they were all curious.
And now Wanda was staring up at the woman who had been on her friends mind for so long, she didn’t know how Bucky was going to react to seeing her here.
“Steve?” Bucky stood at the doorway with Sam, Natasha and Tony behind him. “What’s up?”
“Buck… she-she’s here”
“Who?”
Steve watched as Bucky paled and his eyes got shinier with tears filling them. “Y/n.”
“N-no no you’re lying Steve.” His eyes moved to Wanda when he noticed her shifting from foot to foot. He knew by the look on her face that what Steve was saying wasn’t a lie.
He moved slowly to where Wanda stood, never taking his eyes off her until he stood in front of her, it wasn’t until she gave him a sad smile that he finally looked to his right. A choked sob was the only sound in the whole building. Wanda tried to grab him before he fell but it was no use, Bucky landed with a loud thud on his knees as he looked up at the woman he had fallen madly in love with in the forties. The woman he had made a promise too. A promise he couldn’t keep.
“St-Steve we need-I need to get her out of here”
“I know Buck, I know but we need to be careful, we don’t know how long she’s been in there for”
“We can’t leave her!”
“We aren’t going to leave her Barnes, just give me a few minutes to try and figure out how we’re going to get sleeping beauty out of here, okay?” Tony says before looking around the room to find a way to get her out.
As everyone moved around the room trying to find a way to get her out of the chamber Bucky stayed on his knees looking helplessly up at her. “That’s why you couldn’t find her, she’s been here”
“I tried Buck-“
“No, I know you did. H-how long do you think she’s been here for?”
“I… I don’t know”
Not long after, Tony managed to find a way to open up the door to the chamber without causing any damage to Y/n. They all shivered as the cold air hits them, Bucky took the straps off her and took her gently into his arms. His body tensed when Tony injected something into her arm. “It’s just to keep her asleep until we get back to the tower”.
Steve told him to take Y/n onto the jet so they could finish off clearing the base, they all watched as he carried her as if she was the most delicate thing in the world.
“Steve, she’s a super solider” Nat looked over at him from the computer.
“Have you found anything else about her?”
“She’s got way more kills under her belt than I do, they call her little lamb” saying that nickname made her nose scrunch up. “And… oh Steve, they’ve been injecting her with Bucky’s sperm, it never worked” Steve’s eyes burned a hole into the computer screen angry at everything that he was hearing.
“Sh-she was a nurse you know? A great one, all the men said they loved going to her because she was just the kindest of them all. She deserved so much better than this.”
“Steve she’s been in cryo for twelve years… they wrote down when they were put in and taken out, she was never taken out twelve years ago”
“Jesus. Right, gather everything you can on Y/n and I’ll meet you on the jet”
Leaving Natasha to do what she did best he went to the jet, he stood there watching as Bucky stroke his fingers through the top of her head, not taking his eyes off her face.
“I-I’ve put blankets on her from the back, she’s still freezing Stevie.”
“Buck, there’s something I need to tell you about her.”
“What is it?”
“She’s like us, she’s got the serum too. T-they were trying to impregnate her with-with your… you know, and Nat found out that she’s been in cryo for twelve years”
“T-they don’t care do they? They don’t care who they hurt or the pain they inflict, they-they’ve hurt the sweetest, big hearted person and for what? Just to leave her in there for all those years? It’s my fault isn’t it?”
“No Buck, it’s not your fault-“
“It has to be, I kept saying her name when they first got me. I didn’t want to forget her so I kept saying her name and look what happened!”
“Bucky it’s not- don’t try and interrupt me- it’s not your fault. But we’ve found her and she’s going to come home with us and we can help her”
“Did she do bad things too?” His voice was so small and quiet that it was lucky that Steve had enhanced hearing otherwise he wouldn’t have heard what his friend said.
“Yes but Buck we know her, we know she��s a good person just like you she’s been made to do bad but we can help her, I promise you”
“We’ll all defend her tin-man” Tony says, when both men look over they see the four of them nodding in agreement.
Two weeks after finding his only love and brining her back to the compound Bucky refused to move away from her hospital bed, on the fourth day Steve had to beg him to come with him to get some food - it wasn’t until his stomach growled in hunger that he finally accepted Steve’s offer, he left her with a kiss on her forehead and made Natasha and Wanda watch over her, made them both promise to ring him the second Y/n started to stir awake.
Steve then tried to get him to leave just so he could get a good night sleep or to have a shower but the brunette shrugged him off - it wasn’t until Dr Cho came in and told him to get a shower, told him that he should be clean and smell nice for when Y/n woke up. That had him running to his room and showering quickly before running back down to her.
It was better than nothing.
“Steve?”
“Mhm”
“What’s Fury going to do when Y/n wakes up?”
“Nothing, him and Tony have already pleaded her case and all she’s got to do when she wakes is give all the information she can remember. Fury is positive that she’ll be be fully pardoned and he thinks that she could be an asset to the team, that is if she wants to stay”
“W-why-do you think she’ll want to leave?”
“I don’t know Bucky”
“Would you be mad at me if I left with her?”
“No. I would be mad though if you didn’t invite me over for dinner” Bucky let out a laugh whilst he rubbed his thumb over her knuckles.
Steve and Wanda had left after spending a couple of hours keeping Bucky company as he watched over Y/n, he was just starting to drift off to sleep when he felt her hand twitch.
“Y/n? Doll?” Another twitch. “Doll, come on wake up”
Bucky shot straight up knocking the chair backwards when Y/n jumped up out of the bed, falling down instantly, he watched as she pulled herself to the wall bringing her knees to her chest, her eyes moving around the room frantically. Her voice hoarse as she mumbles softly to herself, Bucky slowly moved around the bed.
“Doll? Y/n it-its me Bucky”
“Bucky?”
“Yes, yes it’s me” she says his name again, her teared filled eyes looking straight at him. “You’re safe.”
“W-where are we?”
“Somewhere safe, I promise.”
“They will be here for me” slowly standing up, ignoring the blood seeping down her arm she moved over to Bucky. “I-I need to leave, I need to go back home, they-they’ll be mad at me”
“Y/n hey, hey stop, doll look at me, they aren’t looking for you okay? You’re safe here, I’m not letting anyone hurt you again. I promise”
“You promise?”
“I promise” Bucky moved closer as soon as she was in reach he pulled her in his chest, squeezing her tightly, repeatedly pressing his lips to her hair.
Helen came in a little later to run some checks, talking to Y/n like she was an actual person and not like she was a nobody like she was use to, when she said thank you it meant more than just a simple gesture. The next day Steve, Sam and Wanda walked into the hospital room shocked to seeing Y/n sitting up and talking to Bucky, though they had slowly gotten use to seeing Bucky coming out of his shell even after all these years of knowing him Sam and Wanda stood there watching Bucky be a whole new person, the only person that didn’t find it weird was Steve who had a huge smile on his face, happy to see his best friend finally happy and at peace now that he had Y/n with him.
When Fury got word that she was awake he came down to see her, she answered all of the questions he had as best as she could. Fury reassured both her and Bucky that nothing would happen to her.
A month after waking up Y/n hand in hand with Bucky sat in a room with the team standing behind them, Fury at the end of the table and members of the government in front of them. She was nervous to hear what punishment she was going to receive, yes Fury promised that she wouldn’t be but when Bucky finally caved and told her all of the crimes she was connected to - not only did her heart break at hearing the things that she did but she feared what kind of punishment she was going to receive, she felt like she needed to be.
“Y/n L/n you are granted a full pardon, but you will need to be a part of the Avengers-“
“That’s not what we agreed on!” Fury interrupted the man.
“It’s the best thing-“
“I’ll do it. I-I need to do it” Y/n nodded.
Bucky and Steve had to beg Tony not to throw a party to celebrate Y/n’s freedom and her new role in the team of superheroes, he reluctantly agreed but told them they needed to do something as a team for her. Bucky told him a nice meal would do, it wouldn’t push her out of the comfort zone she had created for herself, so that’s what they did. Their laughter throughout the meal bounced off the walls as Y/n was retelling her memories of the antics Bucky would get up to during camp, told them how she managed to push Steve in to the river when he refused to go into the water.
In that month Bucky had been sleeping in bed with Y/n after she begged him to stay with her, and that night was no different. The team no longer heard Bucky’s screams because he no longer had nightmares.
“Y/n”
“Yeah?”
“I never stopped loving you, you know?”
“I’ve never stopped loving you either.” She smiled up at him. Slowly their lips met, both sighing at the familiar feeling that they had been deprived of feeling for nearly eighty years.
Just as Bucky closed his eyes to get some sleep he began chuckling when he heard Y/n’s question.
“Are you still going to marry me so I can put up with you for the rest of my life?”
“I made a promise didn’t I?”
Tags: @imcinnamoons | @pigeonmama
#marvel#marvel fanfiction#bucky barnes#bucky barns x y/n#bucky barnes x reader#bucky x reader#james bucky buchanan barnes#bucky barnes fluff#bucky x reader.#bucky fic#Bucky Barnes angst#bucky x y/n angst#bucky x y/n fluff#Bucky x you#Bucky x y/n#bucky x you fluff#bucky x reader angst#Bucky x you angst#tw miscarriage#tw forced breeding
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Dr. Bee
Summary: Bucky has quite the reputation but all it takes for him to want to change is an hour with an outspoken little Bee.
Bucky x Nurse!Mom!Reader
Bucky Barnes has many names. James Buchanan Barnes, Buck, The Winter Soldier, Sergeant.
But on compound grounds, and in hushed tones, he’s usually called an asshole.
He’s developed quite the reputation. Being difficult is his natural state of being.
Bucky is constantly late to meetings, doesn’t show up for media days and is always going rogue in missions.
He doesn’t know why he does it, Dr. Raynor says it’s a coping mechanism, but that doesn’t make Bucky want to change one bit. He stays away from people and makes it everyone’s problem when someone decides to talk in his vicinity.
Sam has tried to talk to him but, as per usual whatever the Falcon says, Bucky does the opposite. Sam’s even tried to convince everyone that Bucky’s like an untrained dog, he needs some kind of exposure therapy. Having people stand up to him and flat out call him what he is, that’s what he needs.
Sadly for everyone who works with Bucky Barnes, no one has the balls to do it.
But, everything changed one day.
Everyone scurried away once the quinjet landed at the Avengers compound. They’d gotten word from someone in Logistics that the mission had gone terribly and the agents had barely come out alive.
Bucky stormed into the med bay, his heels digging into the floor with such force you’d think it break, only to find it desolate.
He huffed twice, looking around for anyone who could help with a deep cut on his right arm.
“Hello?!” He yelled out, his temples throbbing and his left eye twitching.
Bucky Barnes waited for no one.
“May I help you?” Bucky’s eyebrows furrowed at the meek voice coming from behind the nurse’s station. His confusion only grew deeper when he didn’t find anyone there.
A few seconds later a tiny hand popped up, wiggling its chubby fingers at him.
“I said,” The little voice drew out the last word, annoyed. “May I help you?”
Bucky leaned forward and peeked behind the large desk to find a little girl.
Standing with her hands on her hips, the little girl with pigtails looked up at him with raised eyebrows.
Her expression turned to one of concern.
“Are you hard of hearing?” The girl spoke slowly and loudly.
Bucky almost had to cover his ears from the shrill and very high tone of the girl.
“I am not hard of hearing.” Bucky finally responded.
“Then why didn’t you respond?” Little miss pigtails crosses her arms over her chest. “I asked you: may I help you?”
His right eye accompanied his left one in twitching.
After he didn’t respond, the little girl scribbled something down on a paper in front of her.
“What are you writing?” Bucky said through gritted teeth, how can a person so small get on his nerves so quickly?
“I can’t tell you.” She said in a singsong tone.
“Why not?”
“You’re not my patient.” She shrugs, rounding the nurse’s bay holding a pink unicorn lunch box, coming face to face with The Winter Soldier. Actually it was more like coming face to knee height. “Can’t talk to people who aren’t my patients. Doctor patient villigage.”
Bucky bit his bottom lip to conceal a smile. “I think you mean doctor patient privilege.”
“How would you know? You’re not my patient.” The little girl swung her lunchbox, skipping all the way to the waiting room.
He was equally shocked and impressed. This little girl had more balls than most of the agents he worked with.
Bucky looked around the med bay for anyone who knew the girl. Mom, dad, cousin, hell he’d even settle for a dog.
With a groan, he followed behind her. Sure, he was a dickhead but he couldn’t let a kid wander around the Avengers med bay all by herself.
She sat down, opening the lunch box and taking the contents out.
Bucky couldn’t help but think it was cute how her feet didn’t reach the floor. As he came closer, her swinging feet hit him in the shins.
He let out an obviously fake and over the top groan, throwing himself on the floor.
The little girl covered her mouth but her giggles bubbled around the room.
“Aren’t you going to apologize?” Bucky asked from his position on the ground. “That really hurt.”
“No it didn’t!” She laughed harder.
“Yes it did!”
“I know nothing can hurt you!” She said as her giggles died down. “I know who you are.”
“You do, huh?” Bucky sat next to her.
“Mhm.” She said proudly, taking a bite out of her peanut butter and jelly sandwich. “But my mommy says I can’t repeat the names she calls you.”
Bucky suddenly felt embarrassed. Dickhead, motherfucker, bastard, asshole had a whole different meaning now that he knew the little girl thought they were synonymous to Bucky.
“Well then,” Bucky cleared his throat. “I should reintroduce myself. My name is James Buchanan Barnes but people usually call me Bucky.”
The little girl placed her tiny hand in his and shook it. “I’m not supposed to tell strangers my name so, you can call me Bee.”
Bucky nodded his head once, he almost didn’t notice the peanut butter she’d smeared on his hand. “Well Bee, does you mommy or daddy work here?”
Bee shrugs her shoulders. “Can’t tell you.”
He takes a deep breath in. “Can you tell me how you got here?”
“Nope.” She takes another bite of her sandwich.
“Can you tell me how long you’ve been here?”
“Nuh uh.”
Bucky runs a hand over his face. “Is this because of the doctor patient privilege?”
“Yep.” Bee smiles up at him and this time Bucky can’t help but smile back. A blooming feeling erupted in his chest.
Bucky looked down at his hand, trying to find his most surface level wound. Something that wouldn’t traumatize the girl who’s no more than seven years old.
“Dr. Bee, I need your help. Do you have anything for this cut?” Bucky points to the small cut on his knuckle. She didn’t have to know how it came to be, or who’s cheekbone had caused it.
“Thertainly Mr. Bucky.” Bee’s missing front teeth were responsible for her lisp. She jumped off of the chair and hurried behind the nurse’s station.
She swiftly wrapped his knuckles in gauze.
“Do you need me to look over your other arm?” Bee asked sincerely.
“I don’t think you can help with this one.” Bucky chuckled, knocking on the vibranium. “Unless you have anti rust spray.”
Bee threw her head back with laughter but the cute sound was cut short by a door slamming open.
His mind went blank the second he saw her. Bucky couldn’t peel his eyes off of her, even his jaw went slack. He tried to memorize every single detail of her. Her hair, her eyes, her body, the blue scrubs she wore.
“Bee!” She gasped, taking the little girl in her arms. “You almost gave me a heart attack, I told you to stay in the common room!”
“Don’t worry mommy!” She smiles up at the woman who’s taken Bucky’s mind hostage. “I’ve been with Bucky!”
The woman finally looks over at Bucky and he’s sure the world has stopped.
But reality comes crashing down when her eyes lose some of their light.
“Mr. Barnes.” She gasps, pulling Bee to stand behind her body. “I’m so terribly sorry about her, she wasn’t supposed to be here.”
Bucky gulps down the nervous feeling in his throat. He can’t help but feel like the biggest idiot in this universe.
All he’s done for the past few years is be cold, and rude, and now the most beautiful woman he’s ever seen, who’s got the cutest most outspoken daughter in the tri state area, is apologizing.
His brain runs out of words and he just stands there.
Bucky keeps quiet as the woman sutures up the wound on his arm, he’d completely forgotten about it.
“Bee’s your daughter?” He manages to speak up after a few minutes.
The woman nods with a smile, keeping her eyes on his wound but Bucky begs the cosmos she looks up at him, even if it’s just for a second. He wouldn’t care if she messes up, if it means their eyes could meet.
Bucky’s kept himself away from feelings for years. He convinced himself he doesn’t need them. But in a quick thirty minutes, Bee and her amazingly beautiful mother have stirred up more emotions than he’s had in the last two decades.
“She-“ Bucky clears his throat. “She mentioned you’ve got a wide array of names for me.”
Her cheeks burned red. “Bee must be mistaken, she’s got a crazy imagination. Always coming up with the strangest things-“
Bucky bit his bottom lip. “I’m used to it.”
The woman gulped, finally looking up at him.
“I’m really sorry about the names.” She whispers.
“It’s okay, darling.” Bucky’s eyes travel from hers to her lips. “But for next time, ‘Bucky’ is just fine.”
She nods, looking back to his wound.
“And you are-“
“(Y/n).” She says.
Bucky’s sure he’s never heard someone with a name as beautiful as hers.
“You’re all patched up.” (Y/n) takes a step away from Bucky. “I’ll finish your report, I’m sure you’ve got more important things to do.”
Bucky stumbles on his feet as he stands up. Embarrassed, he walks straight to the door but stops before leaving the medbay.
“(Y/n)?” He turns on his heel. “Would you please tell Dr. Bee I appreciated her help?”
The light in (Y/n)’s eyes returned as she nodded.
Bucky left the med bay feeling lighter than ever before and he couldn’t help but think a certain little bee had everything to do with it.
Comments and feedback is greatly appreciated!!
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The Dad Diaries: Checkup
Pairing: Dad!Bucky Barnes x Female Reader
Summary: Jamie is a little fussy after his doctor appointment and Bucky continues to admire your strength.
Word Count: Over 1.8k
Warnings: Fluff, reflecting, first time dad, slight feels (it's me), parenthood, tired parent, shots / needles referenced, Bucky Barnes (he's a warning and a dad, okay?).
A/N: Next part of The Dad Diaries! Hope you lovelies enjoy. ❤️ Not beta read and written on my phone, so any and all mistakes are my own. Divider by the talented @firefly-graphics. Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog for new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!
Bucky was in the kitchen rinsing off the dishes from dinner when he heard a wailing cry break through the peaceful evening. He dried his hands and told himself not to rush toward the nursery as all other sounds faded into the background, but his feet moved quickly anyway. His body seemed to move on instinct when it came to you and your son since the two of you were his world. And he would do whatever he could to keep you safe and happy.
Another cry rang out as Bucky got to the hall. Somehow, and it must have either been some form of magic or your motherly instinct to comfort your baby, you beat him to the nursery. “It’s okay, Jamie. Mama's here,” you soothed as you carefully picked your son up and cradled him against your chest. “Shh,” you whispered in his ear, your eyes closing as the cries began to get a little softer.
It broke the former sergeant’s heart a bit each time he heard his son cry. He knew you felt the same way. You were empathetic and protective before you had Jamie, but his cries increased your emotions.
A smile touched Bucky's lips as he observed the two of you, his heart warm and full. The longer you held Jamie, the quieter he became. He curled against you like all he needed was the warmth of your loving embrace. In return, you held him like you had the whole world in your hands.
Love would always show up in the ordinary moments because you made them extraordinary.
As touching as the sight was, Bucky sensed how tired you were. He saw it in the slightly strained smile you gave him when you opened your eyes and the way your body sagged as you swayed back and forth to soothe Jaime. You hadn't gotten nearly enough rest today and completely missed your nap after nursing earlier. That wouldn’t do.
Not on his watch.
“Hey,” Bucky said softly enough to not spook Jamie. “Need me to take him?”
“No, it’s okay. I’ve got him,” you replied as your son gripped your shirt with his tiny hand, a silent message to his dad to let him snuggle with his mom a little bit longer. “He’s just a little fussy.”
Bucky nodded as he walked into the room. The doctor warned them to expect some fussiness over the next couple of days thanks to his appointment. “But he isn’t in any pain?” He asked, hurt flooding his blue eyes just from imagining it.
Your gaze softened as you shook your head. “Not that I can tell,” you said. Both of you were observant when it came to Jamie. You picked up on cues and looked for anything out of the ordinary. “I think he’s okay.”
That helped Bucky breathe a bit easier. “And you’re sure I can't take him so you can get some rest?” He asked, not wanting to push, but also a second away from telling you to sit in the rocking chair. You headed toward it and carefully took a seat before he could open his mouth again, as if you sensed what he was about to say.
“I’ll take a nap in a few minutes,” you promised, giving him another small smile. “I just want to hold him a little bit longer.”
Bucky conceded as he put a blue blanket over both of you. Soft and covered in stars, it would keep you both warm. “I still can't believe how big he’s getting,” he said, brushing a finger along his son's soft cheek.
How was it a month already since he blessed your lives?
“Big and strong,” you said, glancing down with a fond smile before looking up again. “Just like his daddy.”
Bucky’s cheeks tinged from the compliment. “He's strong because of his mommy. And beautiful.”
You fought a yawn, but he saw the happiness in your eyes at his words. “He gets that from both of us.”
Jamie scrunched his face before he nuzzled his head against you with a tiny sound, making the brunette chuckle. “Okay, okay. Enjoy your snuggles with your Mama,” he whispered as he bent down and kissed the top of his son’s soft head. He stilled for a moment as he let his soothing scent wash over him. “I’ll be in my office.”
“Okay. I’ll call for you when I’m done,” you said, shutting your eyes when he kissed the top of your head, too.
He dimmed the lights once he crossed the room, but stopped to look back and observe the tender moment between you two a bit longer. It was picture perfect and had his heart swelling again before he went to his office. His journal awaited him at his desk and he got to work with his latest entry.
Hey, Nugget,
You’re currently cuddled up with your mom in the nursery and I don’t blame you for soaking up the snuggles. It was a big day for you! Your one month checkup. I still can’t believe it’s been a month since you came into our lives. It seems like yesterday.
Is it too early to say I want time to slow down?
I'm happy to report that you are on track. Your height and weight are on the charts where they should be. You're hitting the usual milestones, which came as no surprise to me. You are my son after all.
A joke. I'm a little more humble than that. I think you're on track because of your Mama, but she’ll argue and say it’s because of both of us. Either way, the pediatrician didn’t look at all surprised that you were doing well. The receptionist and nurses also fawned over how adorable you are.
Again, you got that from your Mama, even if she says again that you got it from both of us.
Bucky stole a glance at the monitor where you continued to rock Jamie in the chair. He had to smile at the sight. You weren’t quite asleep, but were dangerously close. He’d have to finish up his entry quickly so he could get you to bed.
I’ll be honest. I wasn’t sure about the pediatrician at first. I think he directed most of your questions to your mom since I kept glaring at him. I couldn’t help myself. We did a lot of research to make sure you’d get the best care possible. Even though he’s highly recommended and probably one of the nicest men I’ve ever met in my life, you’re my son and it’s hard to hand you over to someone else to care for you.
Except for your Mama. She is always the exception to the rule.
Bucky let out a breath, gripping the pen a bit tighter.
I knew going into the appointment today that you would have to get a couple of shots. Needles don’t exactly scare me and I knew it was for your own good, but I never hated them until today. I must’ve given the nurse a dirty look, too, because she avoided looking at me and asked your mom to hold you still so she could administer the shots. In fact, I know I glared because your mom elbowed my side and whispered, “Stop that. They’re helping our son.”
You’ll learn later in life that your mom is always right.
I still did my best to stay calm and distract you by making a funny face. I didn't want you to sense that I was worried, but I was because I knew you’d be in pain. And even though the pain would only last for a second, I knew I was powerless to stop it.
At that moment, I was helpless.
He swallowed as he recalled the piercing scream Jamie let out when the needle pricked his thigh. It twisted his gut so painfully that he feared he’d get sick and he had to refrain from taking him away from the nurse. He wasn’t sure if he’d ever get used to the shots or cries with any of the upcoming appointments.
It should come as no surprise that your mom continued to be a pillar of calm and strength as the nurse gave you two shots and applied your band aids. Whereas I was like a wave crashing against the shores in my mind, she was the rock that braved the storm and didn’t budge. She told you how big and strong you were, like me, when she picked you up and your cries eventually stopped as she held you against her chest.
I wonder if it was her voice that calmed you down. It could’ve been her smell. She does smell good. Maybe her touch. Her heartbeat. Probably everything.
We both love her so much.
Bucky wondered if the shots bothered you more than let on. Maybe that was why you were so keen to hold him even though you needed sleep. Maybe you needed the comfort as much as your son did.
As I watched her hold you, it took me a moment to breathe again so I could try and provide some sort of comfort to you. As your father, I want to protect you from the pain of the world. But pain is the body’s warning system to protect us from harm and sometimes inevitable. Today reminded me that I won’t always be able to protect you from it and that I can’t let my negative emotions or fear get in the way of helping you after. It’s another reason why I admire your mother.
She validated your pain, but stayed strong for you because you needed that. It’s something that I’m still learning. It doesn’t make me any less of a good dad because of that. There’s no manual for dealing with these emotions. We just have to figure out how to weather the storm.
Because we’re strong apart, but even stronger together.
“Bucky?” You asked, your voice gently ringing out through the monitor. “It’s your turn.”
He smiled before jotting one more thing down.
And if you’re ever hurting or just need a helping hand, I’ll be there.
Until next time, I love you.
Always,
Dad
Bucky didn’t hesitate to go to the nursery once he finished up to take his son from your arms, a look of understanding passing between the two of you. Parenting was an emotional rollercoaster full of ups and downs and twists and turns. Being a father was one of the hardest jobs he’d ever had, but it was also the most rewarding. He still didn’t really know what he was doing, but he was trying and didn’t have to go through it alone.
And as Jamie leaned into him with you resting close by, that was the best reward he could ask for today.
Bucky is doing a wonderful job. Love and thanks for reading! ❤️
Masterlist ⚓ Bucky Barnes Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi
#navybrat writes#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes x female reader#bucky barnes x female!reader#bucky barnes x you#bucky barnes x y/n#bucky barnes x fem!reader#bucky barnes x f!reader#dad!bucky barnes x reader#the dad diaries au#bucky barnes#dad!bucky barnes#bucky x reader#bucky x female reader#bucky x you#bucky x y/n#bucky barnes fanfiction#bucky barnes fanfic#bucky barnes imagine#bucky barnes au#bucky barnes fic#bucky barnes fan fic#bucky barnes fan fiction#bucky fic#bucky barnes fluff#james buchanan barnes#sebastian stan x reader#sebastian stan x female reader#sebastian stan x you#sebastian stan
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