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nickfowlerrr · 4 months

Text

so inviting, i almost jump in.

pairing: neighbor!bucky barnes x curvy!reader

warnings: fluff. pining. idiots in love? fake dating...kinda lol. a lil bit of angst but not too much.

words: 4.5k

notes: happy new year! i tried so hard to finish this last night but just couldn’t do it lol. this is part of the ciwywt universe, but i think it can be read as a standalone, too.

also - coherent, consistent timelines? sorry, don’t know her. idk where this fits in their story but it does bc i say it does. 😌 i really love these two and i hope you enjoy this lil fic as much as i do. thank you in advance for reading. as always, comments and reblogs are more than welcome, and so appreciated! 💞

"Ow,” you wince, “damn it," you grumble to yourself as you set your eyeliner pencil down, blinking rapidly to quell the tears you could feel about to form in your eye. You huff and turn to look down at the cause of your distraction, your phone ringing loudly as it lays on the counter. You see the caller and preemptively roll your eyes. Not this again.

You swipe to answer the call and his voice immediately floats into your ear, giving you no time to even utter a 'hello'.

"Before you say anything-"

"No," you state firmly, annoyance clear in your tone as you stop him before he can begin.

"Doll,"

"Bucky, I said no," you cut him off again. "It's a no. No. No, no, no. Not gonna happen," you continue despite his pathetic huff sounding on the other end.

"I know you said no..." he says before trailing off for a second, "but, doll, I really need you."

Damn him. You sigh heavily into the phone, putting a hand to your forehead to stop the headache you know is coming. He's really trying to pull on your heart strings... unfortunately for him, it's not gonna work.

"You don't need me, Bucky. You're gonna be fine. They're your friends, if you just tell them what you told me, they'll understand. You have nothing to worry about."

"That's not," he huffs, stopping himself, and you can almost hear him shake his head, "Will you at least try to come by?"

You know you won't, but you don't want to upset him any more than he already is.

"Yeah, I'll try. And stop worrying so much. You'll have a good time, I know it," you smile, the thought of him and his friends enjoying their New Year's Eve tugging at your lips.

"Yeah," he responds, sounding a little unsure. "Okay, well, I'll see you later?"

"Mhm...maybe," you say.

"Doll," he groans, causing an unbidden laugh to slip from you at his dramatics.

"I said I'd try, no promises! But I do have to go now, so, talk later. Bye," you finish, hanging up on him before he can try and talk you into making a promise you have no intention of keeping.

You sigh heavily as you set your phone back down, returning to your almost finished makeup. Just because you aren't going out doesn't mean you can't look good.

You're still so surprised he asked you to be his fake date to his New Year's Eve party. Both because you were surprised he was hosting a party to begin with, and because he needed a fake date.

But that was just it, he didn't need a fake date. He wanted to get his friends off his back with the constant set ups and double dates they'd plan for him. What he really needed to do was tell them the truth, just like he told you. He didn't want to date, at least not right now. He said his mind was on other things. That was understandable, so you weren't sure why he couldn't just tell them that...

A part of you feels bad for not helping Bucky out, but the other part of you knows you'd feel like a total outsider at a small party being attended by the avengers.

Like, the real-life superhero team, The Avengers.

That was an immediate 'no thank you'.

You were content to spend the night alone; just you, your grapes, and some apple cider to cheers to the new year.

The television plays on, another episode of a show you've seen ten times before just starting up, as a knock sounds at your door.

You furrow a brow as your head shoots in its direction. It only takes a second for you to come to the conclusion that it must be Bucky. You set your drink down and stand from where you were sitting cozily on your couch.

You fix your dress, and for no reason at all, check yourself in the mirror before you near the door, making sure your makeup isn't smudged and your hair still looks nice as you do.

There's another knock as you get to it and you open your door with a bit of attitude at his impatience.

"Bucky, how many times-" you're stopped short as you quickly see that the man before you is, in fact, not Bucky. "Oh, uhm, sorry, can I help you?" you ask.

"Yeah," the man laughs, "I'm here for the party. This is the right apartment, isn't it? Bucky Barnes?" he asks, looking at you quizically.

"No," you answer, "no, wrong apartment. He's just," again you're cut off, but this time by the door right down the hall opening, none other than Bucky peeking out to look down at you and - oh my god wait...is this - this is - holy shit you're talking to Captain America. Your eyes round as you look from Bucky back over to the man before you. "Oh, gosh, you, you're,"

"Sam Wilson," he smiles brightly at you, extending a hand. You shake hands as he continues, "and you must be-"

He is cut off from saying your name as it comes out of Bucky's mouth, almost frantically. You look from Sam back over to Bucky, your eyes still wide.

"I know you're still getting ready, but would you come here for just a second," he nods at you. You look once more between Sam and Bucky, your eyes narrowing as they land back on your own personal pain in the ass. What the hell is he up to... You and Sam go to walk over to him but Bucky speaks again. "Not you, Sam. You stay there," he says in a fuss. Sam puts his hands up, a look of confusion clear on his face at Bucky's demand.

You continue toward him and as soon as you're close enough to touch, he pulls you to him, turning you both so Sam can't see what you're saying. It's a hushed conversation, a whispered argument, really.

"You have to come over."

"No, I really don't."

"You do."

"I don't."

"You're staying."

"No, I'm not."

"You're staying. I'm not letting you leave," he says, trying to corral you into his apartment as you swipe at him, a back and forth of swats ensuing between the two of you.

"Bucky!" you finally whisper yell, stopping the battle as you ball your fists, almost stomping like a toddler in your annoyance. "What the hell are you doing?"

"I lied."

"Huh? To me? About what?"

"To all of you. But mostly them. I told them you'd be here. Because I thought you would be. But then you said you weren't coming, but I couldn't tell them that or they'd think I was just making up another lie about you..."

"Another lie?"

"I...may have... told my friends that we're dating and have been for a few weeks," he murmurs under his breath, so quiet you can barely hear his confession.

"You what?" you balk, trying your hardest to squash the stupid butterflies that are fluttering around in your stomach now at the idea of not only dating Bucky, but of being someone he brings up in conversation to other people.

"Alright, love birds, cute as this is, are one of you gonna invite me in or am I just supposed to stand here awkwardly in your hallway all night?" Sam interjects, walking to you both as you turn your heads to look at him.

Bucky turns entirely, moving closer to you, slipping his arm behind your back and resting his hand on your hip, "Yeah, welcome in. Steve said he'd be here with beer in a few minutes," Bucky says, an annoyed edge to his voice as he lets Sam through the door. Sam raises a brow at you and you force a smile. As soon as he's inside, Bucky snaps the door shut behind him, leaving you both in the hallway still.

"What the hell," Sam says, loud enough for you to hear through the door.

"Look, it started as a lie to get out of a date, but then I just kept using you an excuse to not go to things I didn't wanna go to. And ya know, more than half the time I wasn't really lying because I was with you," he tries to excuse himself.

"Are you insane?" you ask him plainly.

"I know, I'm sorry, but I really need you to be here tonight, please," he begs, his puppy eyes starting to get to you.

"You had only asked me to be your fake date."

"Yeah, once you said yes, I was gonna work the girlfriend thing in," he smiles wryly, rubbing the back of his neck in his anxiousness.

"You're ridiculous, you know that?"

"Is that a yes?"

You roll your eyes before acquiescing, "Fine. But you've gotta come clean tomorrow. You can't start the new year with secrets, it doesn't bode well for anyone."

"Deal," he smiles his real smile this time. Then his eyes drift down to your outfit and you warm, like you always do, under his attention. "You look good," he says softly, sincerity in his voice.

"Thanks," you accept quickly. You will not let him fluster you so easily. Not tonight.

More of Bucky's friends arrive soon after you get back from your apartment, your bag of grapes and bottle of unopened cider in hand. Bucky introduces you to each of them and you're now unsurprised that they know your name and exactly who you are. And you, for your part, are in awe of each and every one of them. Though you like to think you don't make it obvious.

And it's surprising how normal it all feels.

You for sure thought you'd be a nervous wreck around these people, but, especially with Bucky by your side, you've never felt so calm and comfortable, and at a party of all places. Though you suppose it helps that you're already so comfortable around his apartment. Still, it's nice. They're nice. And fun!

Card games are played, karaoke sung, and stories told as you all snack and chat the evening away.

You're all laughing as Sam talks about how everyone was sure Bucky had been making you up like a summer camp girlfriend after the fifth time he claimed you were sick or out of town so you couldn't show up to the events they had invited you to. Of course, you had no idea about any of them, but you do know where you were each and every night they brought up.

You were here.

With Bucky.

So, he wasn't completely lying. You smile and look to Bucky who stands right next to you. Your eyes instantly meet his, a smile of his own already gracing his face. You look back down, bashful despite yourself.

The night has passed so quickly and it's already nearing midnight. You're about to go get your grapes ready, but Steve's voice stops you, catching your attention.

"Ya know, I can't even remember the last time I've seen you look so happy, Buck," Steve smiles as he looks at the two of you. "I'm really happy for you, both of you,” he adds. “It's obvious how much you two care about each other. It's good to see."

You don't know what to say, and you're too scared to look at Bucky. You just force another smile, feeling a bit sad more than anything. Because this isn't real. Whether you'd like it to be or not. It isn't. You have to remind yourself of that.

Bucky's hand squeezing your waist, and the feeling of his admiring gaze on you as he pulls you closer to his side, doesn't help. It just makes that pit in your stomach grow deeper.

This is easy for him because it means nothing.

This is killing you because it means everything. It’s everything you never give yourself permission to dream about. Everything you want. And it’s what you know isn’t for you. It couldn’t be.

Just a few more minutes, you breathe, and then you'll go back to normal. No dating, just friends...just friends? Whatever it is you are to him...

You're lost in thought as the conversation continues around you, Bucky's hand never leaving you and his gaze never wavering. Even as he engages in the conversation, his attention is solely on you.

"Oo, countdown is going!"

The yell pulls you out of your head as your eyes snap to the television. What the hell! How did you just lose eight minutes? Damn Bucky always taking up your thoughts and distracting you.

You don't have the time to get to the fridge for your grapes as the kitchen is crowded, flutes of cider and champagne being passed out among the group.

You tsk, oh well. At least you have on your red underwear.

As the count gets lower, Bucky gets closer, and you mindlessly lean back into him as you watch the live broadcast from Time Square. Ten seconds hits and you all count along, Bucky's other arm comes around as he holds you from behind. Nine. Eight. Seven. Six.

Five.

Four.

Three.

Bucky turns you around in his arms, catching you off guard as you look up at him, your hands coming to rest on his chest.

Two.

He leans in, and you're frozen. His nose brushes yours, as his lips brush against your own. Oh.

One.

"Happy New Year," he whispers against you, cheers and exclamations of the same sentiment shared all around the living room, between everyone else.

"Happy New Year," you whisper back breathily before you unthinkingly press closer to him.

His lips meet yours as he leans in ever closer and kisses you, so softly. Your eyes flutter closed as you return his affection, kissing back harder than you intend before you break away. It feels like magic, it feels like home. And you want nothing more than to do it again. To lose yourself in him so delightfully…

You remember yourself then and almost shy away completely before Bucky takes your face in his hand, turning you back to him. You lock eyes once more and you feel like you can't breathe at what you see in his. You don't have time to think on it before his eyes flick down to your lips and then he's kissing you again. His lips press harder against yours, still moving just as gently but somehow it feels much more intimate. Sincere. Real.

You deepen the kiss and then suddenly the whooping and claps around you both bring you back to reality.

You pull away, taking a sobering breath, blinking away the haze of longing as Bucky's delicate touch remains on your cheek. You gingerly reach to take his hand, slowly pulling it off of you. You hold it for a second, squeezing his hand before letting it drop.

The celebration continues all around but you need to get yourself together. Alone.

"'M gonna use the bathroom," you whisper to him, knowing he can hear you even through the din.

You exchange 'Happy New Year' exclamations with everyone you pass on your way to his bathroom and bid goodnight to the people already getting ready to head home. A lot of them have early mornings at the tower, so you get it.

There are only a few people in the living room with Bucky as you look back before you escape to the bathroom, taking your time to decompress.

Sam, Steve, and Nat were talking with him, but his eyes were on you when you looked at them.

You knew this was a bad idea. You knew you'd get caught up in the fantasy. And somehow, he still got you to do it. You curse yourself in the mirror and then notice your smudged lipstick.

The thought of your lipstick staining Bucky's lips right out there has you in a flurry of emotions...

He kissed you. Twice. That actually happened. But did it really mean anything?

Your heart twists as you refuse to believe it could have. You just need to... God, you don't know what you need. All you know is right now you can't stop thinking about Bucky's hands on you. You can't stop thinking of how soft and supple his lips are. And how damn good of a kisser he is.

You look at yourself once more in the mirror.

Fucking hell. What are you gonna do? You sigh, eyes squeezing shut before you shake your head at yourself.

You turn back to the door, opening it right when someone's knock hits.

You're somehow surprised, and yet not at all, to see Bucky staring back at you as you pull it open wider.

"Hey," you say, raising a brow and shoving every fuzzy feeling threatening to strangle you back down.

"Hey," he started. "Everyone left. I just, uh. Wanted to make sure you were okay."

"Yeah, I'm good," you nod.

"I'm sorry. About kissing you."

"Oh," you utter - sounding more dejected than you wanted to. "Yeah, no. Don't, don't even worry about it." You muster a shamefully see through smile.

His stare is near invasive as he really looks at you, analyzing you. He opens his mouth to speak, but thinks better of it, instead giving you a tight lipped smile in return.

He nods, then looks to the floor, "Okay," he accepts.

You nibble your lip, crossing your arms as he still stands in front of you.

He notices and moves out of your way, offering a small sorry and a huff of a laugh.

You walk back out into the living room as he follows.

"Wow, this place is a mess,” you breathe a laugh, hoping to keep the subject change.

"Yeah," he agrees, "I'll be having fun tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?" you question. "Are you busy now?"

"... I guess not."

"Then grab a garbage bag, Barnes. We've got work to do."

He laughs, "Oh, yeah? You're gonna stay and help me clean up?"

"What are friends for if not clean up?"

He smiles at you as his mind replays his conversation with Sam, Steve and Nat just minutes ago.

He told them the truth about you, and their reaction wasn't what he expected, but definitely what he needed.

"Wait, sorry, you're not dating her?" Nat asked, puzzled.

"Yeah, I'm confused, too," Sam added. "You guys act more like a couple than most couples I know."

"And she's cute, you seem perfect together."

"Well, we're not. Not, not perfect together," he amended, "I mean we're just not together. We're friends. Nothing more."

"Looks like a hell of a lot more, if you ask me..."

"So," Steve finally chimed in, "you spend all that time together, you talk about her constantly, and I saw the way you kissed her at midnight, Buck, but you're telling us it's nothing more than friendship?"

Bucky didn't know what to say. But he knew Steve knew what he was really feeling. He knew exactly what he wasn't saying.

"Do you want it to be more?" he asked. "Because from an outsider's perspective, it seems like you have everything with her but the label."

"I..." Bucky looked around, making sure you hadn't snuck back out of the bathroom yet, "yeah. I do want it to be more. She's, fuckin' perfect," he breathed a laugh as his thoughts, as they always do, strayed back to you. That familiar warmth that fills his chest anytime you're near, or hell, anytime he so much as thinks your name, returned to him. And suddenly his thoughts went back to the softness of your cheek as he held you close earlier. How pliant and perfectly your lips moved against his as you kissed him back. Not once, but twice.

Even still, he thinks back to when he told you why he was so reluctant to go on the dates his friends kept setting up for him. It was a lie when he said it was because he didn't want to date right now... well, partially. He really didn't want to date around. And his mind was focus on other things.

Other things, of course, being you.

When you nodded and told him you got it, that you felt the same way, his heart felt like it deflated by ten.

He was getting ready to finally make his move and ask you out, for real this time. But how could he do that now? He didn't want to be another guy you had to swat away, he couldn't be another one of your rejections. And you gave out plenty, always to his selfish delight if he was being honest. In fact, he can't remember the last time you actually went out on a date. It's been months...

Most of your nights are spent together. Just the two of you. But if you weren't wanting to date anyone right now, and he asked you, he couldn't be sure what you'd say. More importantly, where it'd leave you.

Bucky wasn't stupid, he wasn't blind, and he wasn't deaf. He had every confirmation he could ever want that you liked him the same way he liked you. But he didn't want to chase you away by pressuring a relationship, especially if that's not what you want.

"It's clear she likes you, too, ya know," Steve pointed out what he thought was the obvious.

"I know, I just. I don't wanna push her away by moving too fast. I don't think she's looking to date anybody right now,"

"If you don't ask, you'll never know."

He knew they were right. He needed to just bite the bullet and ask you outright. And he would.

But as he watches you glide around his kitchen, so at home, putting things back in their rightful places and throwing away the random garbage left behind, he thinks maybe not tonight… He doesn’t want to ask a question that might make you leave. But then again…what if it makes you stay?

"Chop chop, supersoldier," you admonish him as he continues to watch, staring dreamily at you. Your back is to him so you can't see his face, but you can feel the weight of his gaze.

Bucky follows your lead, tossing away the empty cups and putting away the leftover food and drinks while you wipe down the counter.

It really wasn't that much of a mess, but you're glad to get it cleaned now, so you won't have to worry about it tomorrow.

Wait...why would you be worried about it tomorrow? This isn't your apartment. God, you really are always over here, aren't you...

You turn to Bucky as he ties off the bag of trash.

You just look at him for a minute. Admiring him from mere feet away while he does the same to you. It's quiet between the two of you, but you can feel the charged silence as it brims with words unsaid.

You know what you want to do right now. But you do what you think you should instead.

"I guess I'll head out, then."

"Oh," he breathes.

"Oh?"

"I just, uh,” he shakes his head, "Never mind."

"No, what is it?" you prod, now entirely curious.

Bucky's bright eyes flash back up to yours and you see him search for what to say instead of saying what was on his mind.

"Your grapes," he remembers, turning to the fridge to get them for you, "you didn't eat them."

"Oh, yeah, well, too late now," you laugh softly.

"What's your resolution?" he asks.

"That's not how the grapes work, Bucky."

"Come on," he goads. "What's your resolution? I wanna know."

"Hmm. Well, good question," you think for a moment, watching him as he rinses off a bunch, then pulls two grapes from their stems. You mindlessly purse your lips as you think. "I want to be less scared," you start quietly, eyes meeting his intent gaze, when he looks back at you, "More confident," you add with a little nod.

"You, more confident?" he asks. "You're one of the most confident people I know. And I know Thor," he adds, getting the laugh he was hoping for from you.

You shrug, "Fake it til you make it." You give a soft, almost sad smile. It physically hurts him to see that hint of sadness in your eyes, and he wants nothing more than to do whatever he can to take it away. He hands you one of the two grapes and you raise a brow as you take it.

"And you?"

Your heart rate kicks up as he steps close, invading your space and standing right before you.

"I…would like to communicate better."

You huff a laugh, tittering, "Yeah, that's a good one."

"Let's both start right now," he says, holding up his grape.

"Okay. Let's," you hold up your own grape, bumping it into Bucky's as if you were toasting before you both pop your own grape into your mouth, stupid smiles on both of your faces.

As you finish, Bucky takes a step closer, surprising you as you look up to him. A bit of deja vu coming over you as you swallow hard. You wait a long breath for him to say something. And then he finally does.

"So. This is me, trying to communicate better: I'm not really sorry that I kissed you. Either time. And if I'm being entirely honest, I'd really like to kiss you again right now."

You're stunned silent and you think you can hear your blood rushing in your ears as you blink up at him.

It takes you a moment before you think you can respond, but Bucky speaks again before you do.

"But I'm not going to do that. Because I want to do this right. In fact, I've been wanting to do this right for months."

"Bucky?" you murmur quietly.

"Doll, will you do me the pleasure of accompanying me to dinner and a movie this Friday?" he asks sincerely.

Your mouth is dry and you have to force yourself to swallow hard again so you can speak. "We always do dinner and movies on Fridays," you point out.

"I mean as a date," he clarifies, holding himself to his resolution.

You stare at him, unsure of what to say. Well, that's not true. You know what you want to say. You know what you want to do. You want to say yes, and you want to lean into him again and indulge him in one more kiss, because you want to kiss him as badly as he wants to kiss you. But that terrified voice in the back of your head is currently telling you to make a run for home as fast as you can. You want to fight the fear, really you do.

Bucky is keeping his resolution already, you're just not sure if you can do the same.

"Uhm," you drone awkwardly.

He laughs that nervous laugh you rarely get to hear...the one you love.

"Is that a yes?" he asks with a hopeful wince.

It takes you a second and then your mouth moves before your brain does as you respond to him.

You stand there, a bit shocked at your own answer, and not entirely sure where to go from here...

#bucky barnes x curvy!reader #bucky barnes x reader #neighbor!bucky x reader #neighbor!bucky x curvy!reader #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes x plus size reader #ciwywt #bucky x reader #bucky x curvy!reader #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x y/n

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buckyalpine · 8 months

Text

As requested, just a little back story for how you and Bucky got together after this fic (Steve cheating on you with Sharon). You could read this as a standalone. Turns out the backstory is longer than the OG fic but I hope you like it! <3

Warnings: Cheating, angst, smut, flufff, comforting, protective Bucky falling in love with you

"It's-it's not what it looks like"

It was pathetic even for him.

What else could it possibly look like.

Steve scrambled up to cover himself as if he wasn't balls deep in someone else while Sharon squeaked, pulling the sheets over herself. You didn't move from where you were standing, still blinking at the flushed captain while he struggled to pull his boxers on, nearly tripping as he ran over to you.

"Sweets, it's not-

"Please don't" You whispered shaking your head, tears you didn't notice streaming down your face, still looking at Sharon's fucked out form, the deep blush on her cheeks and messy hair enough to let you know they had already been at it for a while.

"Let me explain-Wait, y/n!!"

You walked as fast as you could in desperate need of air, hoping you wouldn't run into anyone as you dashed down the hall, your eyes trained on the floor. You nearly bit through your lip, throat closing in on itself painfully tight, not noticing Bucky as you dashed by.

"Y/n?" Bucky was on his way for a run when he saw you leave Steve's room, surprised to hear a sniffle as you ran off with your head down. It wasn't his business to pry into the relationship but seeing you upset made him worry, now also concerned for his best friend.

He made his way over to Steve's room instead of chasing after you, his blood turning ice cold finding a half dressed Sharon along with Steve still in nothing but his briefs.

"What the hell"

"I-" Steve froze, stuttering when Bucky's eyes flicked between him and the other blonde with disgust, stepping outside again till they were both fully dressed.

"What the fuck Steve" Bucky's fists were balled at his sides trying not punch his best friend square in the face, giving him a chance to explain himself first. Not that it mattered.

"It wasn't supposed to happen"

"Which part, you cheating or y/n finding out" Bucky stared at the Captain while he sat down on the edge of his bed in defeat.

"Relax, Barnes, it's not like she was your girl-

"You shut the fuck up" Bucky growled when Sharon tried to speak up, pinching the bridge of his nose in an attempt to collect himself.

"Leave. Just leave" Steve turned to her, ignoring the annoyed huffs she made as she collected her things, slamming the door shut behind her.

"It was just the one time. We never did anything else before th-this" Steve's voice cracked on the last word before breaking into a sob, running his hands through his hair while Bucky made his way over to sit beside him.

"Is that supposed to change anything punk?" Bucky shook his head in disappointment, now worried for you instead. "Why would you do that to her"

Silence followed Bucky's question while Steve wracked his brain for the answer.

Why.

Why the fuck would he do that.

You were nothing short of perfect for him. Beautiful on the inside and out. When Steve first met you, he had the same feeling in his stomach as the day he'd met Peggy. His heart started to beat a little bit faster. Cheeks a bit warmer. He mustered up all the courage he could to ask you out on a date and the second you said yes, it became the happiest day of his life. He felt so strongly for you, it almost hurt.

However along with his passion came an equal amount impulsiveness and carelessness. It showed during brave, heroic acts where he threw himself out of buildings or on top of grenades. Now it was showing during his less gracious moments where he gave into a moment of temptation, not thinking about anything else when he took the blonde to his room, falling for the batting of her lashes and soft touches.

"It was just the one time sweets, I promise. I've never done anything else"

Steve's desperate voice made your heart hurt, his red rimmed eyes and puffy face were full of regret. You chewed your lip to keep it from quivering, the both of you sitting on the edge of your bed.

"What was the reason?"

"I-I don't have one" His head was hung in shame, unable to meet your eyes while he fidgeted with his hands. No answer would dignify what he did and you certainly deserved better than any pathetic excuse he'd come up with. He couldn't hold himself back when he heard you sniffle, pulling you into his lap and cradling your head to his chest, hugging you tightly as you shook in his arms.

"I'm so sorry sweets, I'm so sorry" His voice cracked again, tears dampening your hair as he cried with you, rocking you gently, "I know you deserve better, I shouldn't have- m'so sorry baby"

You sobs died down to sniffles, eventually calming down to shaky breaths, the room falling silent again. The wounds were too fresh, exhaustion taking over stronger with all your emotions in turmoil. The scent that always brought you comfort and love now stung when you inhaled, still hiding away in the crook of his neck.

Old habits die hard and you found yourself falling asleep moments later, still tucked in his arms while he continued to whisper apologies, begging for forgiveness, hoping for one more chance he knew he didn't deserve.

"Can you give me another chance? Just one" Steve whispered when your eyes cracked open, your body till drained and head throbbing. "Just one darling, you don't have to tell me right now, I just- "

"I'll think about it"

Steve nodded, leaving your room to give you some space while you thought it over. You tried to take a hot bath to ease the heartache but it did nothing. You hated how quickly you had melted into him the second he comforted you. You hated how much you wanted to forgive him easily because you loved him so much. He had just slept with someone else and you went and fell asleep in his arms.

Pathetic.

You eventually made your way downstairs for a snack, unable to fall asleep, embarrassment crawling up your cheeks when you saw Bucky nursing a cup of coffee, seeing your disheveled form. Before you could do or say anything, he pulled out a chair for you, having you sit down and pecking the tiniest kiss on top of your head.

"I'll make it for you" Bucky smiled, pulling out your favorite mug with kittens on it and putting the kettle on. He knew your go to was chamomile tea during late nights, grabbing a box of chocolate chip cookies to snack on.

"He wants another chance" you mumbled between sips, "and it's pathetic that I'm considering it"

"That's not true y/n" Bucky sighed, giving your hand a comforting squeeze, the cool metal easing your nerves. "It's not pathetic. You really loved him, that doesn't just disappear over night"

"I'm supposed to be stronger than this" You shrugged but Bucky wasn't having any of it, scooting closer to you.

"You are strong. Its hard because you loved him. And you still do"

"I wasn't good enough, was I" If it wasn't for his super hearing Bucky would've missed the whisper of your voice, his eyes growing wide at what you said.

"Don't. Doll, in the most respectful way possible, you're beautiful. On the inside and out. Anyone can see it. I don't feel comfortable around others the way I do with you. You're one of the wonderful people I've ever met and I've been alive for 103 years. The prettiest doll too. If you were mine-"

Bucky blinked as soon as the words left his mouth, no. There is no if you were mine Barnes, that's the girl your best friend loves-

"Sorry" He caught himself, cutting himself off, not wanting to overstep, "What I'm saying is you were not the problem here. Not in the slightest. There's no way the sweetest angel I've ever met is not good enough"

"Well, I was clearly lacking something, there's just me and he's the great Captain America" You scoffed.

"To the world" Bucky nodded, shaking his head thinking about the person that he knew from all those years ago. Steve Rogers, a skinny kid who got beat up in back alley ways. "But he's also that punk from Brooklyn who got all excited when some blonde kissed him for his bravery while also being in love with Peggy Carter. Melted into her arms and then tailed after Peggy like a kicked puppy seconds later when he realized he fucked up. He's not always the brightest bulb in the box even if he is the bravest. Sometimes"

"I don't know what to do"

"You don't have to know right now" Was all Bucky said, not wanting to persuade you to do anything when you were already struggling emotionally. He made you another cup of tea before walking you to your room and giving you a tight hug, letting you know he was always there if you wanted to talk before bidding you good night.

It had been a few weeks. You tried. You tried with all your heart to appreciate the efforts Steve made to mend the relationship but your mind would always flash to what you walked in on that day.

Their clothes on the floor.

Warm, flushed skin.

Sounds of pleasure.

Whenever he kissed your cheek, you thought of the way he probably did the same to her. You weren't ready to be intimate with him and you weren't sure you'd ever be able to again. In the mean time, you spent more and more time with Bucky. It helped having someone to talk to who also understood the person you had been in love with.

With every conversation you had with him, you started to feel confused. The fluttery feeling you used to have with Steve started to happen with Bucky instead. But maybe that was because he was the one person you knew you were able to turn to. Maybe.

But then you started hanging out with him even when you weren't sad. When it was just the two of you left back at the compound, you'd enjoy walks around the city, visiting art galleries, movie marathons and late night drives. Sometimes you'd both end up falling asleep together, waking up wrapped up in each others arms, only to pull away without saying a word once the sun rose again.

Your friendship was purely platonic is what you kept telling yourself when you found yourself trying to find nicer outfits to see Bucky, adding a touch of extra makeup and finding excuses to cancel on Steve just to relax at home with the team his bestfriend instead.

You slipped on some comfy clothes, ready to go to sleep when there was a knock at your door. You knew exactly who it was considering it was just the both of you once again, your facing feeling warm as you made your way to the door.

"Let's go for a ride?" Bucky gave you his signature cheeky smile that stuck with him from the 40's, his eyes sparkling when you took the other helmet from his hand, playfully rolling your eyes

"Alright Sergeant, let's go"

Bucky happily led you to the garage, ignoring the way his heart flipped when you wrapped your arms around his waist, tightly holding onto him when the engine roared to life. He had no reason to ask you to go on a ride with him. You were doing perfectly fine. You were trying to work things out with Steve and that alone had its issues but you were doing much better than before.

You didn't need to use him as a distraction.

You didn't need him at all.

But he was starting to feel like he needed you...

He couldn't think of you like that...

He shook those rogue thoughts away, zipping through the near empty streets, the cool wind making you shiver, snuggling closer to him. Bucky found himself placing his hand above yours often whenever he was at a stop light, neither of you saying anything every time your fingers intertwined instead. Once he parked back at the compound, neither of you said anything, letting the thick tension between you two linger as he walked you to your room.

Then he said good night.

Kissed your cheek.

Stayed rooted in place when he should've walked back to his room instead.

That night Bucky made love to you for the first time. It wasn't supposed to happen. It wasn't planned. Your underwear didn't match. He didn't have protection.

But none of that mattered.

It was different.

You knew Steve loved you and constantly told you how beautiful you were but a part of you still always felt insecure whenever you were intimate with him. Like you'd never be perfect in his eyes though he never said such a thing.

But not with Bucky.

You let his eyes roam your body, kissing every bit of your skin he could touch. You didn't doubt for a second that he found you beautiful everywhere. His hands roamed the soft skin of your tummy and you didn't tense your stomach. You kissed his shoulder where mental met flesh and he didn't flinch, feeling just as safe around you.

He was inside you and it still didn't feel close enough. You were wrapped up in each other with your arms and legs tangled together, soft moans filling the room as if you were still trying to keep what was happening a secret. It wasn't right, it should've have happened but it did and neither of you wanted to stop.

"Angel, I-I love you" He whispered, desperation and shame clouding his mind because he knew Steve was trying but you deserved so much more loving. "I know I shouldn't but I do. Fuck, I love you so much" His voice was muffled against your neck while he continued to rock his hips, hitching a knee up to push himself deeper.

"I love you too" You surprised yourself with how easily the words followed, feeling guilty from how true they were. You did love him. It wasn't in the moment. You had loved him from before. You loved him more even now.

"M'gonna treat you right princess, I promise. Swear on my life, whenever you're ready, if you'd have me" He pulled away from your neck, his wide innocent puppy eyes pleading with you to believe him, that he'd take care of you with his whole heart, "I won't break your heart precious girl"

"I'll be yours" You moaned as he moved faster, desperately chasing both of your climaxes. You clung into him tightly as he started to fill you up without a second guess. "One day, I'll be yours"

That started it. Neither of you said anything, not acknowledging what it was. After all, you were technically still Steve's girl. But it didn't stop Bucky from sneaking into your room in the middle of the night. It didn't stop you from sneakily holding his hand under the blanket during movie nights.

Maybe you were not ready to tell Steve yet but you were more certain about what real love felt like now than ever before.

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navybrat817 · 1 year

Note

Bucky needs to be smothered in kisses. No sex has to follow, just him allowing you to pepper kisses all over his cute face simply for being him and for looking so pretty and cute. Like, "Shut up, Bucky and take it" - proceeded by dozens of kisses 💋💋💋

Bucky deserves all the kisses! How about a little something for our tattoo artist?

What Dreams Are Made Of

Pairing: Tattoo Artist!Bucky Barnes x Baker!Female Reader Summary: You're on Bucky's mind before your date. Word Count: Over 1.5k Warnings: Ki-ssing, Fluff, slight insecurity if you squint, slight feels (it's me), Bucky Barnes (he's a warning, okay?). Graphics talent and thanks: Banner - @sgt-seabass, Divider - @firefly-graphics, Bucky edit - Nix, Moodboard - yours truly A/N: My second Connect 4 (C4007 - Square 1) / Into an Alternate Juneiverse for @buckybarnesevents! Set in my Sin on Skin AU, but can be read as a standalone.❤️ Not beta read and written on my phone, so any and all mistakes are my own. Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog for new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!

Bucky flopped down on the break room couch with a tired smile. He had a hard time sleeping the night before and wanted a little rest before his first client of the day arrived. It didn't surprise him when he struggled to sleep. He could sometimes be a night owl when he wasn't dealing with the occasional nightmare, but last night was different. You consumed his thoughts after he went home.

Every single one of them.

You thinking of me, Sugar? I hope you are.

Hell, you hadn’t left his mind since he first walked into your shop. His beautiful, sweet baker with the warm smile and humor to brighten his day. You looked too pure to be with someone who looked like him. He wasn't blind to the stares he received whenever he went out. With his physique and exposed skin littered with ink, many wrote him off as dangerous without a second thought. They would’ve been shocked to learn he was a bit of a science nerd who loved to read in his spare time or that he served his country alongside his best friend.

Something told him you’d appreciate all those little details about him, especially since you asked him out.

"Wish I was taking you out now, Sugar," he whispered to himself as he shut his eyes.

Bucky didn’t want to admit to himself that he was a little nervous. From his chats with you, he gathered enough of an idea on where it would be good to take you for your first date. He didn’t want it to be generic though. If he couldn’t make it unique, it at least had to be special. Something you’d remember. You deserve the best.

And he wanted to show you he was nothing like your prick of an ex.

"Hey."

The sound of your voice beside him made his eyes open, his heart racing as you smiled. He hadn’t even heard your footsteps. When he tried to sit up, you pushed him to lay back down. The sugary scent that lingered on your skin from the shop had him licking his lips as you moved on top of him. But instead of your normal work clothes and apron, you wore a sundress.

One that was dangerously riding up your hips as you straddled him.

And he was too in awe to stop you.

“How did you get back here?” he whispered, not at all upset that you managed to sneak into the room.

“Steve let me in,” you whispered back, framing his face. He couldn’t decide where to place his hands. He wanted them all over you. “I had a break and couldn’t wait to see you.”

“You saw me last night,” he smirked as you leaned down, your lips dangerously close to his. “Not that I’m complaining.”

While the guys heard all about you and expected to meet you at some point, no one thought you would rush into the shop the way you had. You didn’t know it yet, but they all had a soft spot for you because of Bucky. Even if they didn’t, not a single one of them would’ve put up with how your dick of an ex spoke to you. Respect meant everything in their establishment and any man who talked down to someone the way he had with you had no right to be there.

The fucker made you cry, but I wiped that smug look off his face just for you.

“Too long to wait,” you smiled, your breath skimming his mouth. It paralyzed him as he waited to see what you would do next. “And I know our date isn’t until Friday, but I want to kiss you now.”

“Why do you wanna kiss me?” he smiled because yours was contagious.

“Because I want to thank you.”

“You don’t need to,” he promised. He’d stick up for you no matter what the situation called for. Call him smitten or a decent guy, that was just how he was.

“I want to. I also want to kiss you because you’re pretty. And, yes, you are pretty because I say so,” you teased, which earned an almost bashful smile from him. He was far from pretty, but any sort of compliment from you meant the world. “But mainly because you’re a good man and deserve a kiss.”

“Just a kiss?” he asked as he did his best to keep his hips still. You didn’t just deserve the best date, but you deserve a gentleman as well. Fuck, did he want you though and the things he wanted to do to you were far from innocent. He wondered if you felt through his jeans just how much he did.

“Just a kiss. For now,” you said, closing the gap between the two of you.

There was no hunger or desperation when your tongue slipped past his lips. Even when he deepend the kiss, you didn’t rush. It was soft and tender, but held the promise of something more just like your first kiss had. He wasn’t just a moth drawn to your flame. He carried the fuel and wanted to douse you in it.

Bucky craved to be the one who brought your fire to the surface until it consumed you both.

“Am I dreaming?” he exhaled, finally gripping your hips when you dragged your lips along his face. The featherlight motions were enough to drive him mad, tempting him to flip you over so he could explore your body properly. No, he needed to let you stay in control for now. “Sugar, you’re killing me.”

“And what a way to go, Hottie. So, shut up and take my kisses,” you giggled.

He chuckled as you smothered him with your lips and he took the opportunity to hold you closer. It felt right to have you in his arms. He couldn’t recall the last time he fell for someone so quickly, if ever. What if that scared you?

What if he scared you?

“It’s time to wake up, Bucky,” you whispered in his ear. “I’ll see you soon.”

Bucky’s brows furrowed as you faded from his arms. “Sugar?” he asked. Where did you go?

“Buck, you need to get up!”

Steve’s shout startled Bucky awake and it was a miracle he didn’t fall off the couch. His heart pounded before he realized he had been dreaming. You weren’t in the back room with him. You hadn’t smothered him with gentle kisses.

He was all alone.

“What the fuck?” he whispered, tossling his hair as he sat up.

Figures. It was just a dream, but I’m glad I had it.

“You okay?” Steve asked as he carefully approached his friend. “Hey, I wasn’t trying to scare you. Called your name a couple of times and that didn’t do the trick. Didn’t think I should touch you either.”

“I’m fine. Thanks,” Bucky huffed a little. Both of them had their share of nightmares after being overseas. Steve wouldn’t have yelled his name if he thought something was wrong, so he must’ve appeared peaceful enough. Peace. That was what you gave him, even if his jeans felt a little tighther and uncomfortable.

“You need a minute?” the blonde smirked when Bucky adjusted a bit.

“Why did you wake me?” he replied, avoiding his question. The guys knew well enough how crazy he was about you and didn’t need to know he was dreaming about you in the shop. “I’m sure it was extremely important.”

“Because your client should be here in a few minutes and I wanted to make sure you didn’t sleep through the appointment. So, yeah, extremely important.”

With a nod, Bucky slowly got to his feet. “Space is already cleaned and disinfected. Stencil’s done, too,” he said. He liked to prepare as much as he could and they prided themselves on having a clean and safe workspace. “Um, Sugar hasn’t stopped by, has she?”

Steve shook his head. “No, she hasn’t,” he answered, giving Bucky a small smile when he frowned. He knew all about the date. “But Friday is just around the corner if you don’t see her before then.”

He tried not to feel disappointment and swore he could still smell the sugary scent of you in the air. It must’ve lingered on the couch from when you were there the night before. He wished he could have that smell on his pillows and sheets. “I like her.”

“I know you do. We all do,” Steve said, leaning against the wall. “We even told Hal he wasn’t allowed to go into the bakery out of fear that she’d fall for his charm,” he added with a wink.

I’m charming, too.

“No, punk,” he said, not wanting to be more vulnerable than he already had. “I really like her.”

The playful look on Steve’s face fell, replaced with something softer. “I know, jerk. And I think she really likes you, too. So be the good guy we know you are and sweep her off her feet.”

That’s exactly what Bucky planned to do.

Bucky, our hearts are yours! Check out more of Hottie and Sugar wiht Sweet and Strong. Love and thanks for reading! 💙

Masterlist ⚓ Bucky Barnes Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi

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holylulusworld · 2 months

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Traders of love (lust) masterlist

Summary: Our dear readers are in trouble. They sell the only thing they have left. Their body and dignity.

Pairing: Different (multi-fandom) characters x fem!Reader (different reader in every story)

Warnings: angst, kinda prostitution in some chapters, dub-con, extortion, voyeurism, roleplay, smut, virginity kink, pregnancy kink, daddy kink, sir kink, size kink, all the kinks, a/b/o kink, roleplay, loss of virginity, sex for money, blindfolding, a lil bit of feelings, pregnant reader, single mom reader, age gap, DBF trope

A/N: This is not a regularly updated series. It’s a collection of smutty one-shots, with a different character and a different reader in every story.

You can read only single chapters (except for the sequels) they are all connected/in the same universe but can be read as a standalone story. Some (side-)characters will reappear in different chapters.

A/N2: Please head the warnings for all chapters. Some kinks are not for everyone.

A/N3: We will see Lloyd and his reader throughout the whole series. They are the center of the story.

I’m your daddy now (1) (Lloyd Hansen x Singlemom!Reader)

I’m your daddy now (2) (Lloyd Hansen x Singlemom!Reader)

Swaying (Mobster!Ari Levinson x Dance instructor!Reader)

I’m your daddy now (3) (Lloyd Hansen x Singlemom!Reader)

Like a virgin (DBF!Bucky Barnes x Virgin!Reader)

Chocolate and roses (Mobster!Sam Wilson x Chocolatier!Reader)

Like a virgin (2) (DBF!Bucky Barnes x Virgin!Reader)

Lawbreaker (Lee Bodecker x Sassy!Reader)

French Kiss (CEO!Nick Fowler x Interpreter!Reader)

Best trade ever (Boss!Steve Rogers x Assistant!Reader)

Wallflower (Rich(Mean)!Loki Laufeyson x Florist!Reader)

Lightning and Thunder (Rich!Thor Odinson x Librarian!Reader)

Every move you make (Jake Jensen x WebCamGirl!Reader)

I’m your daddy now (4) (Lloyd Hansen x Singlemom!Reader)

Two for one (August Walker x Pregnant!Reader)

Damage done (Mobster!Dean Winchester x fem!Reader)

Follow the law (Andy Barber x Criminal!Reader)

I’m your daddy now (5) (Lloyd Hansen x Singlemom!Reader)

Under protection (Reacher x Witness!Reader)

Instinct (Walter Marshall x Prostitute!Reader)

Skyscraper (Sam Winchester x fem!Reader)

Make you sweat (Lance Tucker x Gymnast!Reader)

Undecided addition

Untitled so far (Tony Stark x ???!Reader)

#bucky barnes #lloyd hansen #dean winchester #sam winchester #andy barber #ari levinson #jake jensen #steve rogers #lance tucker #lee bodecker #walter marshall #Traders of love (lust) masterlist #smut #multifandom #reacher #sam wilson

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hesthermay · 9 months

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𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐋𝐈𝐅𝐄

PAIRING: bucky barnes x f!reader

SUMMARY: bucky barnes and the domesticity he deserves.

WORD COUNT: 1.1k

RATING + WARNINGS: general audiences, domestic themes, fluff. use of she/her, more fluff, use of y/n, more fluff. in my head reader works outside lolzies

NOTES: marvel!? again!? it never ended!! just switched to something else for a bit but hesthermay will always be a multifandom blog! i quite literally am attached to too many things for it to just be one anymore lmao. anyways!! this is apart of the lady may universe, all works will be labelled as such but remember they do not need to be read in any order or together at all! they can be read as standalone stories because they are all apart of a collection!!

MARVEL MASTERLIST LADY MAY UNIVERSE

The sun had just finished setting, the dark sky staring back at him as he stood in front of the kitchen window.

Bucky Barnes wiped his flesh hand on his jeans before reaching up to readjust the phone wedged between his cheek and shoulder before it could fall. His other remained submerged in the soapy dishwater, metal fingers clutching the wine glass more delicately than his past self ever thought he could as he secured the device. “No, Steve—if you need me, I can come back.”

The blonde man shot him down immediately, insisting that it would only be a waste. Bucky sighed deeply and quietly, knowing his friend was as stubborn as they came.. “Alright, punk; if you say so.”

Truth be told, he did not want to go back just yet. As tired as he’d gotten over the years, the fight most likely wouldn’t ever leave James Buchanan Barnes’ life and that was just something he was going to have to accept. But when he’s here, in the tiny town in the middle of nowhere that was his very slice of paradise, there was no fighting. Only hard work and long days, warm evenings and calm nights, and loud laughter and dinners shared between two.

The life that Y/N L/N had given him was not one he had predicted, but one he would never take for granted. It was…all he could possibly want. If the world were to end tomorrow, he would spend his last moments with his lips on hers.

A tail hitting against his calf was what caught his attention and momentarily pulled him away from the conversation, glancing down at the plump dog stood next to him. Her eyes were trained on the doorway of the kitchen and the brunette knew exactly what she’d picked up on, a grin growing on his face as the last dish was dried and put away.

“Steve, I gotta go, Y/N/N just got home…okay, okay—I’ll tell her,” he chuckled as his metal hand swiped a rag over the counter quickly.

“Tell who what?” A voice piped up from behind him and the cloth was soon abandoned as he whirled around. There she was, standing in the doorway dressed for work and looking like it’d been a long day of it, while still radiating the kind of beauty he swore he’d never get tired of.

Bucky’s grin grew into a smile impossibly fast for a man who used to be a shell, a weapon, but that wasn’t unusual for him these days. “Ah, speak of the devil and she shall appear,” he remarked, and was met with an eye roll from his love and a laugh from his friend, before pulling the phone away from his ear.

With one click, Steve Rogers was put on speaker phone and thrown under the bus. “Stevie says you owe him a dinner from when he kicked your ass in beer pong.”

“I did not say that!”

Y/N’s laugh echoed around the kitchen and filled Bucky’s chest with joy. “Oh, well quit your complaining and get your ass down here then!” She called out as she made her way to the fridge, boots thumping against the floor. “And last I recall, there was no ass kicking. You barely beat me, Rogers.”

Steve and Y/N got along great, and it had become obvious to Bucky very quickly that they acted just like siblings. Their dynamic mimicked that of an older brother and younger sister, and if they didn’t look so different it’d be hard to tell they weren’t related. If they were, Bucky knew she’d give Steve a run for his money.

“I’m all booked up for the next few weeks unfortunately,” the captain’s voice filtered through the speaker, “but I wouldn’t be opposed to a visit after I clear everything up.”

“Oh,” Bucky drawled out as he leaned against the counter, arms and ankles crossed in the very name of ease, “I bet you wouldn’t. Grandma’s cooking’s pretty good, right?”

Another laugh was accompanied by the popping of a beer bottle’s cap coming off and the clinging sound of it hitting the floor. “You’re damn right!” Leaning down to pick up the trash, Y/N continued to speak to Steve but the mechanic had already gained tunnel vision.

His eyes were on her everywhere she went, observing the way her lips formed the words but not really hearing what they were, the way her eyes flitted over to him every few minutes because she was just as obsessed with him as he was her.

The life that Y/N L/N had given him was not one he predicted, but one he would rather die than take for granted. It was his greatest gift.

The sound of his name broke his concentration and he was brought back to the present, tuning in to the conversation to hear Steve saying his goodbyes, throwing a ‘talk to ya later, Buck!’ at the end before he hung up. The phone was forgotten, remaining in the same spot with a black screen as the family of two now focused solely on one another. Y/N walked to the sink, beginning to wash her hands as she looked at the man before her with a semi serious face. “I sure am glad Steve let you have a break even with this long mission. I was starting to go a little crazy,” she chuckled.

“I’ll always find a way back to you, lover girl,” he replied smoothly with that crooked grin as one hand reached out to swipe a thumb across her cheek, wiping off the smudge of dirt left over from her day at work. She beamed at him and he couldn’t help himself, couldn’t stop himself from pulling her in for a kiss; a kiss that conveyed how much he’d missed her, how long he’d waited for her, and just how much he loved her.

When they broke apart she laughed ever so softly, eyes a little out of focus as she recovered from the display of affection. “You gonna let me set the table, Barnes?”

“I suppose I could,” he feigned reluctance, waiting until the very last second to release his hold on her face, hands slowly pulling away from her face where they were gently resting.

“Thank you for making dinner, by the way,” she threw over shoulder as she made her way into the next room with the plates and silverware stacked in her hands, and he followed her with the trays of food he had prepared for them.

“Of course, doll,” he assured, knowing that if not for her he wouldn’t be able to make this meal nor would he have the motivation to learn how to. This domesticity, the routine of home life, was utter bliss.

The life that Bucky Barnes had gained was not one he ever thought was possible for him, but it was one he would never let go of. It was all he needed, all he wanted, all he’d dreamt of.

all works on this blog belong to hesthermay.tumblr.com: do not copy, repost onto other sites, or claim my work as your own.

#the witch: writes #—marvel #—lady may universe #—signed; barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes au #bucky barnes oneshot #james barnes x reader #james barnes x you #james barnes imagine #marvel au #avengers au #avengers x reader #cannon divergence #domestic!bucky #mechanic!bucky

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cacoetheswriting · 10 months

Text

a mutually assured attachment

pairing: bucky barnes x fem!reader word count: 3.9k summary: crossing the thin line between friendship and something more, but not before a few set backs.

warnings: set before tfatws, therapy positive, emotional hurt / comfort, mutual pinning, adult dialogue, use of pet names (sweets, darlin') mentions of food and alcohol consumption, a little bit of jealousy, friends to lovers, a conclusion to a lovely little slow burn

a/n: technically part of a mini-series, but can 100% be read as a standalone. also, unsure if anyone is still following this story, but i wanted to wrap it up ‘cause i really enjoyed starting this series all those months (years eek) ago. plus if anyone stumbles across it in the future, it will be complete! thank you for reading and for your support <3

SERIES MASTERLIST

Bucky Barnes did not think of himself as the jealous type.

Yes, he envied his fair share of individuals he encountered throughout his long life: the people who made life appear easy, those who seemed to have everything figured out, and everyone who took “mundane” for granted.

The regular Joe’s with their nine-to-five jobs, a random group of friends, and not a care past anything other than their stack of overdue bills or their fantasy football league (whatever the hell that was…). The average Jane’s who often reminded Bucky of his own mother, hoping to grow and nurture happy homes, full of sweetness and a load of laughter, desperately trying to shield everyone around them from pain and misery.

Envy, yes. Bucky was familiar with the feeling. Jealousy however… Well, jealousy was different.

Jealousy was usually a side effect of romance. It called for a connection stronger than Bucky allowed himself to form with the people he met ever since he became himself again. It involved trekking on dangerous territory and putting other people at risk, therefore no, James Buchanan Barnes was not the jealous type.

That is until he met you.

He’s learned to admit that you entered his life at a time he did not even realise he needed you most, turning it completely upside down (for the better) and providing him with a glimmer of hope that there was still good in this post-blip world.

He’s grown attached to you, opening up in more ways than one and sharing thoughts he hasn’t spoken about with anyone since Steve. Over time, you have easily grown to be his favourite person.

And now Bucky was sitting at the bar, picking at the label of the beer bottle in his grip while watching you toss your head back in laughter at something this random suit-wearing jerk was saying.

You disappeared for five minutes to go to the bathroom. Bucky thought nothing of it, even ordered you another drink while you were gone. But when you didn’t come back to your seat, stopping instead for a chat with a stranger, you unknowingly caused an unnerving feeling to rush through the brunette sergeant.

This wasn’t the first time someone tried hitting on you while you were out with Bucky, (and considering how jaw droppingly beautiful you were, he was actually quite surprised it didn’t happen more often). However, this was the first time you engaged back in the flirtatious interaction, which was more than unsettling to your blue-eyed neighbour.

He wanted nothing more than to wipe the smug smirk off of the dude's face. Quite frankly, the only thing stopping him from doing so was the reason he wished to do it in the first place: you.

Fuck, Bucky cursed himself, this was jealousy.

Shifting in his seat so he wouldn’t have to witness you with that dunce, Bucky brought the beer bottle to his lips and, in one sip, finished what was left of his drink. He then paid the tab and was about to stand when a hand gently squeezed his shoulder, grabbing his attention.

“Sorry about that,” you said and he forced a smile.

“No need, darlin’,” Bucky reassured, hoping the tone of his voice didn’t betray him, although, judging by the elated look on your face, he had nothing to worry about. Your thoughts were focused entirely on something… else.

“I was actually just about to leave,” he added and got to his feet. “Didn’t wanna disturb your conversation.”

You furrowed your brows. “What? No, don’t go,” you implored, sliding your hand from his shoulder down his leather covered arm until your fingers reached the hem of his jacket.

Bucky held his breath as you gripped the material, the softness of your skin just barely brushing against him.

“He gave me his number so I’ll call him later if I feel like it.”

“You stay,” he demanded, “I’ll go. There is something I gotta take care of anyway and I don’t wanna ruin your evening.”

Pursing your lips together, you eyed him suspiciously, scanning every inch of his face for any tale of dishonesty. See, during the time the two of you have spent in each other's company, you have gotten quite good at reading your brooding neighbour, despite his closed off demeanour. Which is how you could clearly see there was something bothering him.

However, you have also come to learn when to stop pushing him and give him space.

“Okay.”

“Okay,” Bucky repeated and shooting you one last congenial smile, he walked towards the exit.

You watched him leave, his figure disappearing in the shadows of the rainy New York night. Inhaling a quick breath, you returned to the guy you were chatting with just moments prior, and four drinks later, you stopped thinking about Bucky.

Albeit just for the night.

The next morning you wound up at his door, as usual. When he didn’t immediately answer, you retreated back into your own apartment without giving it a second thought because it was definitely like Bucky to ignore you from time to time.

That afternoon you knocked on his door again, and you repeated the action after returning from work over the next four days — still no Bucky. And because he was also not answering his phone when you called or replied to any of your texts, the worry suddenly spread through your veins making you nauseous.

Feeling conflicted about what to do next (since it wasn’t like you knew anyone else in his life you could reach out to) you decided to distract yourself any way you knew how, hoping one day the grumpy brunette would simply show up at your door as if nothing happened.

Unfortunately for you, keeping your mind from wandering about your blue-eyed neighbour proved harder than you wanted it to be and it wasn’t until a few weeks after you last saw Bucky, the perfect distraction finally made an appearance.

You often debated adopting a pet but your landlord didn’t allow any animals which seemed like reason enough. Now, you were standing face to face with what was perhaps the most beautiful cat you had ever seen, and as you cautiously approached it, the white feline inclined towards you, allowing you to gently run your fingers through its fur and eventually pick it up.

While carrying the cat to your apartment, you researched vet clinics in the area and promptly made an appointment for that same afternoon. Turns out your new furry friend was a she and the epitome of health, making you think there was someone out there missing her immensely.

While at work, you printed out flyers with a picture you took of her and your phone number at the bottom, before dropping them around town during lunch.

For about a week, you waited. Waited for your cell to buzz but no one ever called.

“Alone together, huh…” you murmured, gently running your fingers through her soft fur, “Guess I should give you a name then. Can’t keep calling you cat, you deserve better, don’t you think?”

She purred in response, as if she understood every word you just said, and you couldn’t help but smile.

The next couple of days were spent brainstorming potential names although nothing you came up with seemed to stick because either you didn’t entirely like it or she didn’t respond to it — mostly the latter.

“You’re so stubborn,” you tittered, watching her lick her paw, “I should call you ‘Bucky’.” The name escaped your lips and you immediately froze, your mood dampening.

That night you didn’t sleep. Tossing and turning all night, thinking about the blue-eyed man for the first time since the cat has entered your life.

Stirring sugar into your coffee the following morning, Bucky still occupied your thoughts.

There was something about him you couldn’t quite shake. Despite the majority of the people in your life being there longer than your super soldier neighbour, the connection you two shared, well you couldn’t really explain it. Bucky just made you feel… different.

Frankly, you hated yourself for becoming so codependent on another human. Sure you had a good group of friends and even enjoyed the company of a couple of your colleagues, but no one meant as much to you as James Barnes.

The cat snuggled into your leg, purring softly. You tilted your head down to look at her, her blue eyes reminiscent of Bucky’s, and a defeated sigh escaped your lips.

“Don’t look at me like that,” you whispered and she blinked. For a moment you wondered if she sensed the growing sadness in your heart. You remember reading how pets can detect human emotion, which is why they provide so much comfort, but you had a hard time believing it, until now.

The corner of your mouth twitched upwards, shifting your expression into a half-smile. You were about to say something when a distinct jingle of keys drew your attention.

It couldn’t be, you thought and hastily dropped the teaspoon into the sink before heading for your front door.

At first you were almost certain you were seeing a ghost, pale and dishevelled. Then, for a brief second, you didn’t really know who you were looking at. An intruder or someone new moving in perhaps? (A lot of possibilities although you only wanted one to be true.)

It wasn’t until the person turned around, eyes meeting yours instantly, you realised it really was him.

Bucky was back. Unexpectedly. The exact same way he disappeared.

“Hey,” he greeted sheepishly.

Your first instinct was to get angry, but the longer you stared at him, heart thumping, the more you knew that wasn’t the rational thing to do. Anger wouldn’t solve anything, it wouldn’t answer any questions. And you had a lot of questions.

The next thought that ran through your mind was to throw your arms around his neck and nuzzle yourself into his embrace because you missed him goddamnit.

“I-I…”

While you debated exactly how to react and what to say to him, your furry friend squeezed between your legs. The quiet meows grabbed your attention momentarily along with the attention of the brunette man.

With a shaky hand, you lifted the cat up before meeting Bucky’s gaze once again.

“I-I got a pet,” you blurted out, immediately regretting it because what a lame thing to say to someone you genuinely thought you would never see again.

He cleared his throat and responded, “I can see that.” Pause. “What’s um, what’s his name?”

“Her name,” you corrected, “And to be honest she still doesn’t really have one. I’ve just been calling her random things to see what would suit.”

Biting on the inside of his cheek, Bucky fought back a smirk.

“That’s definitely unique,” he commented.

“Don’t tease me, James.”

Just as the two of you returned to your usual banter, silence surrounded once again when his name escaped your lips. An apologetic look spread across Bucky’s features and he took a step in your direction.

“I’m sorry.”

Bucky decided quite early on into his friendship with you that he would do anything to keep you out of harm's way. When his feelings towards you transformed from general fondness into something much stronger, he decided the best way to keep the promise he made to himself would be to distance himself, (at least until said feelings faded).

He never planned on leaving. He simply wanted to make himself unavailable some evenings or weekends, come up with lame excuses as to why he couldn’t hang out. But the night Bucky left you at the bar, returning to his sad apartment alone, he switched on the TV. Suddenly, he needed to visit Sam. He figured you would understand. He never planned being away for so long. He never planned on leaving you behind without so much as an “I’ll be back”.

Looking at you now however, bottom lip quivering and tears in your eyes, he fucked up. He should have at least answered your calls and texts.

You sniffled. The cat, which was now half-resting on your shoulder, alerted immediately to the gentle sound of your undeniable sadness and rubbed its paw against your face.

“Uhm…” you cleared your throat, “I-I should go feed her.”

Bucky chewed on the inside of his cheek and nodded. He didn’t want you to leave yet, there was so much he had to say, a lot to explain.

“Right, of course,” he uttered almost sheepishly, “Maybe later if you have some time we can—”

“Maybe,” you cut him off and did a u-turn back into your apartment, “Welcome back, James.”

The next couple of weeks passed uneventfully.

And no, you weren’t avoiding Bucky. Not entirely. It just so happened that every time you had to leave, you did so via the fire escape as opposed to your front door, and every time you heard him out in the hallway, you switched everything off and held your breath, pretending you weren’t home.

You rationalised your behaviour as necessary. It wasn’t avoidance. It was… self preservation. He hurt your feelings when he left. You couldn’t just let him waltz back into your life as if nothing happened, opening yourself up for pain yet again.

Bucky was understanding of your unspoken request to be left the fuck alone. He knew he screwed up but he wasn’t sure how to make things better. All he wanted was to see you smile, and be the reason for it. How could the two of you get to that point when the couple of times you bumped into one another it was awkward?

Was it going to be like this forever?

Luckily, you had your cat to keep you distracted.

Despite not being named yet, she brightened your mornings and had a calming effect in the evenings. She sat at your feet while you were baking and purred into your chest when you were taking a nap. She followed you around the apartment like a trusted companion, even sitting on the bathroom floor while you showered.

So it was strange when one morning she wasn’t in your bed and it was even stranger when you didn’t hear her tapper around the apartment while you were getting ready. A feeling of dread settled in the pit of your stomach when you called her for breakfast by the various names you’ve so far come up with — no response.

By the time you had searched around your whole apartment, you were already late for work. At that point you were thinking you couldn’t go in anyway, your fucking cat was missing. One quick “I think I have food poisoning.” call later, you unlock your laptop in search for the flyers you made when you found her. Tears formed in your eyes while adjusting the title from ‘IS THIS YOUR CAT?’ to ‘HAVE YOU SEEN MY CAT?.

That’s when you knew you couldn’t do this alone.

A short two minutes later, your knuckles are pressed against the wooden door of your neighbours apartment. One, two, three gentle knocks later, and Bucky is standing in front of you.

“I need your help,” is all you managed to blurt out. It’s all you needed to say, really. Bucky doesn’t need any further explanation when it comes to you. He grabbed his jacket and followed you without question.

When you showed him the poster on your laptop screen, he reassured you in a calm tone. One that almost makes you believe him. One that almost makes you forget that he’s left you all alone, without a word. Almost.

“When did you last see her?” Bucky asked.

When you shrugged your shoulders in a defeated manner, he sighed softly and without really thinking about where your friendship currently stood, wrapped his strong arms around you. The second his frame closed around yours, you burst into tears, face pressed against his chest as he held you close, consoling you.

The world seems to come to a stand still at that moment.

You’re not sure how long the two of you stood there. Seconds, minutes. He did, however, manage to calm you down, bringing the waterfall to barely a trickle as you sniffled against his t-shirt.

When Bucky eventually dropped his arms, you avoided his gaze. Scared to admit out loud how good that felt and how glad you were he was here for you, since he’s hurt you once when you became too attached, and you weren’t going to let him do it again.

“How about you stay here, in case she comes back, and I’ll go search for her outside?” Bucky suggested, dipping his head to try and meet your teary eyes. His hand is on your shoulder, barely holding on as if he was afraid you would suddenly flinch and pull away — which he most definitely was.

All you did was nod, and as he headed out the door, a quiet “thank you” escaped your lips.

“Anything for you, darlin’.” Is what you think you heard, but the tone of Bucky’s voice is so quiet, you rationalised that you heard wrong.

The day was spent wandering aimlessly around your apartment, checking your phone every two minutes to see if Bucky had had any updates on the whereabouts of your little pet. He had not.

By the time the sky turned dusky dark, you had lost all hope. She’d never be found. It was as if the universe only meant for you to be together while Bucky was away. You couldn’t have both. That would be too good, too lucky.

But just as you were about to start crying again, a glass of cheap wine in hand, the doorknob rattled and seconds later, in walked Bucky, holding your precious feline friend in his metal arm.

“Oh my god,” you exhaled as relief took over your entire body.

You ambled forward, reaching for the cat in Bucky’s grasp as she meowed uncontrollably, seemingly happy to see you. And Bucky smiled as he watched you snuggle into the white creature, heartbeat growing tenfold with every tick of the clock.

“She uh,” he began as you moved across your apartment, settling down on the couch, “She’s quite the climber, that one. After a day of searching half of Brooklyn, I eventually found her on the rooftop of this very building.”

“Thank you,” you said without averting your gaze from your furry white friend.

What he wanted to say is, “Just glad I could be here for you,” but what he uttered instead was, “Don’t mention it, darlin’.”

For a moment, Bucky hovered in your entryway, unsure whether you wanted him to leave now or if he could stay, just like he did many times before. He decided to not push it. Decided it’s best for the longevity of your friendship to not force anything with you, especially since the strong feelings he had for you before he left have only increased in the time apart — complete opposite of what he wanted to happen.

So he turned on his heel, but just as he was about to say goodnight, you turned your attention to where he stood and waved him over.

“Stay,” you requested, “The least I can do as a thank you is order us some takeout.”

“You don’t have to do that, darlin’.”

“I want to,” you said honestly, hoping he can detect your sincerity, “Stay, please. I-I let you walk away once before and ended up not seeing you for months.”

He swallowed, but didn’t say anything.

“Please stay. I want you to stay, James.”

The morning light trickled in through your half-opened curtains, causing your eyes to open slightly and take in your usual surroundings. Except these weren’t entirely your usual surroundings. There was one thing different this Saturday morning as compared to others.

Bucky was still asleep, covered loosely by one of your many blankets. His chest heaved softly, quiet breathes escaping through his parted lips. He looked so peaceful sleeping in your bed, sleeping next to you, and you couldn’t help but smile at the sight before you.

You shifted to your side and slowly trailed your gaze along his pretty perfect features, focusing on the details you’ve honestly never noticed before. The scruff perfectly angling his jawline, the little crinkles in the corner of his eyes showcasing how he’s aged over the years, barely noticeable but still present.

Then the cat made an appearance, jumping on the bed, settling between you and the super soldier. Before you got a chance to shush it, not wanting to wake Bucky up, she purred against his shoulder.

A smile crept up on his features at the contact. Seconds later, he opened his eyes before slowly tilting his head to first look at the pet, then at you.

“Good mornin’.”

“Hey.”

There’s a moment of silence during which you two simply stare at one another. Time seemed to have come to a standstill. The blue of his eyes piercing, searching your gaze for what, neither of you were really sure. All you both knew was the longer you remained this way, the more your hearts swelled.

Bucky was suddenly feeling nervous, as were you.

“Thank you for staying,” you eventually whispered.

“Thank you for asking me to stay,” he replied.

Another second of silence.

There was so much Bucky wanted to tell you, but the words were stuck in his throat because how can someone go from avoiding, leaving without a word, to admitting that they cannot live without the other person. And that’s exactly how he was feeling. He’s come to terms with it now. He couldn’t live without you.

Would you even feel the same? He wouldn’t expect you to. In fact, he would think you’d want to remain a little distant given everything that’s happened. But then again, if that’s how you felt, then why would you ask him to stay?

Maybe you just needed the extra push, same as him.

“Think you should name her Alpine,” Bucky suggested, one hand rubbing the cat that was now sitting on his chest, while the other reached for your fingers. Slow, but not hesitant.

“Alpine,” you tested the name on your lips. “I like that.”

You take his hand then, intertwining your fingers together without commenting on the fact. He squeezed gently, testing the waters further, and you squeezed back — again, both of you choosing not to say anything about the physical interaction.

“Did you have any plans for today?” Bucky asked and you shook your head. “So, would you eh, would you wanna go somewhere?”

The smile on your lips widened.

“We do have a lot of catching up to do, neighbour.” A modest tease. One you hope won’t ruin the moment, or the day ahead.

He just chuckled, mimicking your expression and making any worries disappear just as fast as they threatened to break through.

“That we do, darlin’.” Pause. “I’m sorry for messing it all up. I promise to make it up to you, starting today.”

Taking his apology in, you let go of his hand, instantly missing his touch. Bucky was too, but he didn't get to completely register just how much because you shuffled closer to where he lay, closing the gap between you.

One arm extended towards his chest, resting gently as your fingers brushed a now sleeping Alpine, and also grazed against Bucky’s own in the process. The thudding of your heart inside your chest was most likely loud enough for him to hear — it was. He focused on it, the beating, and it calmed him entirely.

Your aura calmed him. It has since day one and he hoped it would until the end of his days on this Earth.

Yes, Bucky was more than attached to you.

Luckily, the feeling was mutual.

Sealed with a soft kiss.

as always, thank you so so much for reading, and please reblog to tell me what you think! <3

main masterlist

#phew— this was a LONG time coming jesus #happy reading <3 #a mutually assured attachment #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky barnes x fem!reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x y/n #neighbor!bucky #neighbor!bucky barnes x reader

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syntheticavenger · 3 months

Text

bad decisions series masterlist

This series intertwines with quite a few others. Namely, Cold Sweat and a few random drabbles about Steve. Might want to read those before you dive into this one BUT it can also we read as a standalone.

Warnings: 18+ ONLY, angst, language, HEAVY violence (mentions of a beheading but in passing conversation, gun violence), assault, minor character death, mentions of murder, major character injury mention.

Mob Boss Bucky Barnes x Right Hand Female Reader

Frank Adler x Right Hand Female Reader x Natasha Romanoff

Summary | Being Bucky’s right hand gets complicated when he decides to marry a girl from a questionable family that provides no answers to his decision, only more questions.

One

Two

Three

Four

Five

Six

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky barnes x reader #frank adler #frank adler x you #frank adler x reader #frank adler x female reader #natasha romanoff x you #natasha romanoff x female reader #natasha romanoff x reader

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sarahghetti · 8 months

Text

mcu masterlist

steve rogers

[ one-shots ]

we might fall | 2.9k, angst Steve has to fake his death for a mission, but no one can know outside of the Avengers. This includes the reader.

war of hearts | 2.3k, hurt and comfort Sequel to we might fall.

“This won’t happen again,” he said, reaching for your hand but you pulled it away.

“Can you promise me that?” He hesitated.

long time coming | 2.5k, angst, hurt and comfort Thoughts ran through your mind – what if you didn’t really break free, what if HYDRA was planning to infiltrate the tower through you – what if you hurt him again?

tall and two sugars | 1.4k, fluff There was a quaint little shop that he and Bucky would walk past everyday a lifetime ago and the smell of coffee replaces the one of sweets now, but she’s sweet enough.

cookies and coffee | 0.7k, fluff The team get curious about this little coffee shop that Steve loves so much. Sequel to tall and two sugars, but can be read as a standalone.

family relations | 2.9k, hurt and comfort Howard has a sister, and she has Steve’s heart. Then, seventy years later, she has a nephew named Tony and Steve is fast on his way to becoming his uncle-in-law.

collateral | 2.0k, angst The reader during the events of The Winter Soldier.

damage control | 0.7k, hurt and comfort Sequel to collateral. The reader after the events of The Winter Soldier.

catching up | 2.0k, fluff You’re on Coulson’s team and are dating Steve. Naturally, he’s curious.

countdown | 1.3k, hurt and comfort Soulmate AU. His mom tells him that it was nearly 85 years away, but smiles, saying how magical the moment would be regardless. Steve almost mentions the fact that people barely lived to be seventy-five.

heart hope | 1.3k, hurt and comfort, smut Steve visits the reader before the Civil War.

golden days | 1.1k, hurt and comfort Steve finds Pierce’s former right hand, the reader, after the fall of SHIELD.

salience | 1.7k, fluff, hurt and comfort Your relationship with Steve through the eyes of the rest of the team.

hesitance | 0.8k, hurt and comfort Steve's girlfriend saves his life by killing another person without hesitating and he’s not sure how to feel about it.

connection | 3.6k, hurt and comfort You woke up in an unfamiliar room, dazed and confused. There were dozens of guards outside who’d shoot you on sight and all you had was an earpiece with one voice on the line.

He said his name was Steve, and he promised to get you out of there.

[ drabbles ]

late nights | 0.6k, fluff You and Steve stay up late, only for him to confess something while you're asleep.

reality | 0.2k, hurt and comfort "This is real. You are real."

new objective | 0.9k, fluff "I'm going to be a dad."

"Correction, you're going to be a great dad."

et toi? | 0.2k, fluff French lesson with Steve.

ring toss | 0.2k, fluff Steve is stupidly good at carnival games.

redolent | 0.6k, fluff He’s handed a bottle filled with a thick liquid and Steve has to hide his reaction when the smell hits him, pretending to be hungry when he feels like he might throw up.

bucky barnes

[ one-shots ]

loose ends | 1.2k, angst He picks up a photo on a bookshelf and Bucky sees her face, her smile between him and Steve and-

He’s breaking down a door, she’s screaming. Metal around her throat, nothing more than choked gasps from her mouth

-he does not want this memory back.

even a broken clock | 1.6k, hurt and comfort The scientist barks with laughter as he sees the timer on the severed limb, frozen at 25497:01:23:02. Bucky doesn’t understand.

“We’re doing you a favour, kid.”

And closes the door.

[ drabbles ]

a different kind of love | 0.6k, fluff “Our best friends are that awful ‘cute’ couple that make-out in public and call each other “sweetie” and “sugar” and “babe” and god they’re awful let’s talk about how awful they are – develops into “shit we’re the awful couple now”

make-believe | 0.2k, fluff “I told my sister I have a boyfriend so she’d stop trying to set me up with people but now she’s coming to visit and I’m in too deep I need a fake boyfriend ASAP"

alias | 0.4k, fluff “You give me a different fake name every time you come into starbucks and I just want to know your real name bc ur cute but here I am scrawling 'batman' onto your stupid cappuccino AU”

misunderstandings | 0.6k, fluff Could you write a story where Bucky is your new neighbor and you’ve talked but not much, but he likes you and wants to ask you out. But he hears you talking things like “hey handsome?! I’ve missed you!” and stuff like when you’re home and he assumes you’re dating someone… but what he doesn’t know is that you have a cat?

best of wives | 0.3k, fluff can i request a bucky or steve x reader where they’re not married but he keeps accidentally referring to her as his wife and doesn’t realize hes doing it until someone points it out to him?

tony stark

luxuries | 1.3k, hurt and comfort He’s not ready for this – he’s never been loved, not in the way she loves him.

thor odinson

limited | 0.4k, hurt and comfort "I think I'm in love with you and I'm terrified."

matt murdock

exs and ohs | 0.3k, fluff The reader is in the apartment when Elektra breaks in.

#steve rogers x reader #bucky barnes x reader #tony stark x reader #thor x reader #matt murdock x reader #steve rogers #bucky barnes #tony stark #thor odinson #matt murdock #mcu #the avengers #my writing

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frostironfudge · 1 year

Text

I Should Have Stayed - Bucky Barnes

Summary: When Bucky's distance with you causes your safety to be compromised, he will do anything to get you to back. Even if it means awakening the Soldat he fears looms at the periphery of his mind. Part of my This Feeling I've Got (Bucky Barnes AU). This piece can be read as a standalone.

Pairings: FATWS!Bucky Barnes x Plus Sized! Fem!Reader (established relationship)

Warnings: angst, whump, reader is injured, reader and bucky argue, bucky is an idiot (at the start), hydra mess, torture, angst, some fluff, mild mention of smut (nothing described), mentions of bucky's time as soldat, feels, emotional hurt comfort, reader feels neglected, making out, caring of wounds, emotional messes?, crying.

AN: i started writing this months ago and finally had the inspo to complete it, i hope you enjoy reading it

Word Count: 8981 || Dividers: @firefly-graphics

Masterlist // AO3 // This Feeling I've Got AU Masterlist

It started slowly. Unseen texts. Ignored calls. Softly his footsteps felt foreign on the worn flooring of the home the two of you shared. Touches that lingered across dawn, warmth that shielded you from a new day gone even before it enveloped you.

You stare at the device almost hating it. It had been two days of radio silence. The device chimes just as you’re halfway putting away the untouched food. Your appetite is gone.

Bucky: hey kitten, the mission ran longer, we needed wheels up swiftly so I couldn't let you know earlier, the extension led into another mission. I’ll be home soon.

Scoffing, you place the device upside down. You’d believe him when he stayed home or should you call it that anymore? Alpine curls around your feet, her meow making you look at her.

“Yeah Al, he isn’t coming home tonight, said soon.” You tell her, the chirp from her sounds disappointed as well. Sitting on the dining chair you stare at the wooden pattern. It begins to blur, Alpine rubs her head against your arm,

“I just miss him.”. The sob is a quiet echo through the empty house.

The day comes in, along with the headache your crying caused. When you shift a weight pulls you back. Panic sets into your bones before a sleep laced voice grumbles,

“Kitten, go back to sleep, it's too early.” Bucky pulls you closer with his vibranium arm, his thumb stroking the skin of your stomach.

“Need to go to the bathroom…” You trail, shifting away from him. His grip loosens, you don’t look back at him as you make your way over. Shutting the door, your eyes lace with more tears. Not one ‘i missed you’, ‘i love you’.

Wiping your eyes, splashing cold water on your face. It does little to help the puffy appearance of your face. The pain medication sits on the counter. Sighing you grab two, placing the bottle back.

You needed something to stomach the medication. Bucky sits up on the bed rubbing his eyes as you head out, the blanket bunched around his waist. Your eyes move over him, no visible injuries, relief floods you. Alpine clambers onto the bed, nuzzling into his side and purring.

“Hi pretty girl, I missed you.” He coos.

Wordlessly you head to the kitchen. Swallowing down, if you got time with him you wouldn’t argue. If he didn't, maybe you would ask if he even wants to be together anymore. You knew missions would come and go. He would update you before leaving. Now it was after the fact.

“What hurts?” Bucky’s arms move around your waist, chest warming your back. Chin resting on your shoulder. Lips press to your cheek, “Heard the bottle.”

“Just my head.” You take a bite of the toast.

“Did you sleep late? You didn’t reply…” He kisses your temple.

Were you naive to want to melt into his affections? You take another bite of toast. Bucky kisses along your hairline. Palm moving over your back, soft touches. You lean against him, resolve breaking.

You shake your head, “Just, feeling off, I guess.”

“Come back to bed then.” He coaxes, “Let me cuddle the headache away.”

You chuckle, looking up at him, his brows furrow.

“Kitten,” he turns to you, cupping your face in his hands, “What made you cry?”

“Nothing–,”

He gives you a look that oozes disbelief.

“Just a movie, you know how I get.” you lie, “I was assured of healing cuddles?” you raise your brow.

Bucky says nothing for a beat, then leads you back to bed after you take the medicine. Tucked against his side, head on his chest. Fingertips softly running over your scalp.

“Did you miss me?” You ask on the precipice of sleep, you don’t look up. What if he lies?

“Every minute I’m away I miss you, Kitten.” his index finger tucks under your chin, titling your head back to look into his blue eyes.

“Couldn’t wait to come back to you. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you I had to leave for another one right after.” Sincerity shines in his voice and eyes.

You swallow the lump in your throat, your palm moves from his chest to his jaw. His stubble grew out further. Pushing yourself closer, Bucky meets your lips half way. The bed is soft as he turns, pressing you against it. Your legs wrapped around his waist. Your back arches when his hips rut against you.

Bucky moans against your throat as he marks your skin, his scent envelopes you further, pine, bergamot, your own little concoction of heaven.

“Missed you so much, my pretty little kitten.” He tugs on your earlobe.

“Bucky,” You call out, your hands roaming on his back needing him closer.

“Need you too baby.” He assures, kissing along your shoulder, back up and meeting your lips again, tugging on your lip.

“I love you.”

“Mine, as I am yours.”

“Yours.”

You feel his presence over you, on every part of your skin. Basking in the afterglow. Softly Bucky traces his own written memories across your back. Humming when you nuzzle closer. He presses kisses to your skin, forehead, temple.

You don’t know why the tears reappear, maybe the intensity of his love, the love you can finally feel surrounding you. You press further into the crook of his skin. Bucky’s hand pauses on your mid back.

“Kitten?” He feels the warm tears over his chest.

You shake your head when he tries to pull away to look at you, your arms tighten around him, keeping yourself flush against him and hidden away.

“It’s okay, I’m here, let it out. I’ve got you.” He runs a hand over your head, free hand running over your back.

Even as the sobs shake you, he doesn’t let go. He keeps you protected.

Minutes pass as you calm down, sniffling intermittently. Bucky waits till you stop crying completely. He sits the two of you up, pulling you into his lap. Grabbing the tissues from the side table. He wipes the remnants of the breakdown from your face.

“You want to talk about it?” His question is met by silence and your nervous fiddling.

“We don’t have to talk about it.” he assures, pressing kisses to your forehead.

Bucky wraps his arms around you again, worry laces his heart. What had made you this upset?

Your eyes close, exhaustion seeping in, Bucky feels your breathing even out. He counts your heartbeats, then your breaths. After a few minutes, he gently shifts allowing the two of you to lay on the bed.

On instinct you reach out to him, he keeps you close. Thumb tracing your cheek wiping away the tear tracks. Maybe he could plan a date later today. It felt far too long that you and he went anywhere.

He watches the dawn turn into morning daylight, before sleep finds him. He falls asleep with his lips pressed to your forehead.

When you both wake up close to lunch time.

Neither of you bring up your crying spell.

Take out is delivered.

Clothes are changed, it’s after lunch when a show is playing in the background and Bucky returns from the kitchen with your cat ear mug filled and his own mug filled with coffee.

“I was thinking,” he sets his mug down as you sip from yours then look at him, “We should go out tonight, on a date.”

“A date?” you sound more surprised than you intend to, Bucky catches it but says nothing.

“Yes, well, we haven’t in a long time and I found a place where I can take you dancing with dinner.” He smiles showing his little dimple.

“Dancing, Mr. Barnes?” You raise a brow, a smile on your lips, “Alright, take me dancing.”

His smile turns brighter, a fist pump and a yes, have the house fill with laughter, Alpine meows.

“Yes, treats, yes.” Bucky chuckles heading towards her.

Hours later, smoothening your dress, Bucky admires you from the mirror.

“You look gorgeous, Kitten.” He winks at you, your cheeks heat.

“You’re looking dapper as well.” You compliment, Bucky’s lips part to say something and then his phone rings.

“I promise it's nothing.” he says taking the call, you try not to dampen your mood.

Slipping on your shoes, setting up Alpine’s auto feeder and the camera to keep an eye on her. Bucky meets you at the door helping you wear your jacket.

Taking his bike isn’t unusual, you’ve gotten used to it. Plus Bucky pressing the breaks and speeding just to feel your hold on him tighten makes you laugh. Just as you wait for him to take off his helmet his phone rings again.

“Take it…” You urge, hands tucked into your jacket pockets.

“Sit inside? I don’t want you getting cold.” He gives you an apologetic smile, the call is answered as you walk to the establishment, the interior is cosy, soft lighting and there is a dance floor in the middle but it isn’t a club-esque place. You smile already excited.

The hostess leads you to the table Bucky had reserved, she places the menus and two waters. You look towards the door, then to the menu. Ten minutes pass, the waiter looks at you hoping you would signal him.

You look at your phone texting Bucky.

You: Is everything okay?

You: Bucky where are you?

You: Do you want me to place the order? It would be here in a few minutes

At the twenty minute mark, you move across the now occupied dancefloor, outside Bucky is still on the phone, an argument going on with Sam.

“Sam, don’t be fucking reckless going in alone. We’ve been going over this.” Bucky glares at the ground, “No I can make it, nothing important is going on.”

You scoff, he looks up at you, then closes his eyes.

“I’ll call you back, give me half an hour.” He looks up at you from the phone.

“I didn’t mean it that way.” He says, you shake your head.

“No you meant it correctly. There isn’t anything important. There hasn’t been in the last few months. Do you know how many days you were home just last month?” You ask, waiting for a response.

“I–,”

“Ten. Not even together, I’m stringing together your hour based sporadic returns and giving you these ten days.”

“Kitten…”

“Please, just, save it, yesterday as well, you were supposed to be home for dinner as you promised on that five minute phone call.”

“The mission–,”

“Went on longer, thanks for telling me after the fact.”

“You knew what I did, I will have to go for missions, like tonight.”

“Thanks for telling me beforehand, how long is this one going to last? Answer me?” You step closer to him, “You want to know why I was crying?”

Bucky’s breath shudders, guessing your answer. You nod.

“I don’t feel prioritised anymore by you. Now I know a date with me is nothing important. I know you’re needed, you fight for keeping people safe and I am proud of you for doing that, I always will be, but Bucky this is the longest time we’ve spent together in the past months.” You wait for him to say something, do something.

He studies you for a few moments.

“I need to leave. I’m leaving you home.” He holds the helmet out towards you, you wear it.

The journey back seemingly shorter, he says nothing even as the door unlocks, heading to pack his duffle. You wait in the living room.

“We will discuss this once I come home.” he stands at the entrance of the living room. You look up from where you were playing with the hem of your dress. Nodding you walk towards him.

“I really am sorry I have made you feel this way. I know what I put you through is difficult as is, I wish I had realised on my own rather than pushing you to be this upset and feeling neglected. You are my priority, I know it doesn’t seem that way as I am leaving again, but I’m going to improve and show you just how much you mean to me.” He steps closer, his adam's apple bobs as he swallows.

You stand on your tiptoes, kissing his cheek.

“Take care of yourself for me.” You request as you always did, “You come back and we’ll talk about this…”

He nods, his chest tightening as he turns to the door, you follow behind him, Alpine curled near your feet as you both watch him leave.

Bucky texts you when he reaches the compound. You just read the message, curled up on the sofa under the blanket with your tub of ‘soothe the heartache’ ice cream, even your favourite show doesn’t prove to be the salve to the wounds you didn’t realise had formed upon your heart.

Bucky fairs no better staring at the mission docket blankly, he requests FRIDAY to provide him with his off time list in the past months, you were right. He had hardly been home. Extended missions, new missions right after primary ones ended.

The group pauses when Bucky stands dismissing the hologram.

“I’m not going.” he announces.

“What?” Sam questions, “You were just on my ass about going in alone.”

“That was before, priorities change.” He glares at Sam, “Also we have an entire team here.” he points at the fellow avengers.

Sam looks around and back at Bucky, “Alright.”

“Good, now if there is an emergency then let me know.” Bucky pushes the docket to the centre of the table, grabbing the duffle he heads to the parking lot of the tower. He had to work towards his relationship with you. Missions would come and go. You are his constant, his future.

The incessant knocking on the door has you pause, Alpine looks up at you from her perch near the window. The wood rattles again at the louder knocks. Tiptoeing your way to the peephole you do not recognise the people.

The man standing in front turns, you cover your mouth to prevent the gasp. The logo on his jacket chills your bones. You pad across the room, grasping Alpine and heading to your bedroom, placing her in the carrier Tony had come up with, you grasp the little clip on her collar shoving it into your pocket.

Her meows are frantic and her claws rake across the carrier wanting to be let out,

“Alpine no, be quiet.” The search for your phone takes you back out to the living room, you stay close to the ground crawling.

When you reach the living room, dread fills the entire house. Your hair is yanked upon strands tearing making you cry out.

“Where were you hiding, hm?” The man chuckles, lifting you up causing more strain on your hair roots, “Where is Soldat? Leaving you all alone?”

You don’t answer, legs kicking around as you’re lifted upwards. Your hands move to his, there is a sting across your cheek before you roll across the floor, your back meeting the table.

“Check the apartment.” The same man looms over you, his foot on your palm, pain blooms with another cry from your lips.

All the defence moves Bucky taught you, yet none seemingly making their way to your body and mind.

“Nothing, only their cat’s in the cage.” Another voice adds.

You grab the man’s ankle, trying to dig your nails into his flesh. It only makes him laugh.

“Put Soldat’s little kitten in a cage as well. She will help us revive him.”

You’re ripped from the man easily, the pain of your palm now dull. The man has you kneel right in front of the camera set up for Alpine.

“Go on, ask Soldat to come find you.” Cold metal kisses your temple. You stare into the camera. The blazing tears now manifest.

“Bucky, don’t try—,” Your hair is tugged back harshly, “Bucky!” You cry out for him.

“That is not right, call out to Soldat. Not Bucky.”

“No.” You seeth trying to twist away you manage to kick his leg he falls but before you can reach for the exit hatch where you placed Alpine.

You fall forward, crashing into the glass cabinet. It shatters and you feel yourself dragged by your foot where the man caught you.

Screaming, crying for help, you kick at his hand. It only angers him. Only Alpine’s distressed meows are your reply.

“Call to Soldat.” The sting of his palm causes a ringing in your ears.

“He isn’t your pawn anymore, you fucking asshole!” You yell, trying to get away yet again.

“Listen you little fucking bitch. You’re testing my fucking patience. Take her.” He backhands you again, the metallic taste on your tongue.

You thrash still in the next pair of arms, “Don’t fucking touch Alpine!”

“Shut up.” The former man, with a scar across his jaw yells, he places a muzzle on your mouth muffling your screams as you’re dragged out.

“We care scarcely for pets. You are the prize. You’re going to bring Soldat back to us.”

They don’t head towards the elevators, instead taking the stairs to the roof, a jet waits and you try with all your might to prevent them from taking you.

Yet you’re shoved between the men, the woman on the pilot seat looks back at you once then begins the pre-flight process.

You close your eyes as the restraints dig into your arms, twisting them back. Hoping Bucky or the team gets the distress signal from Alpine’s carrier that you activated.

A sinking feeling latches onto your stomach, what if he’s already long gone on the mission? In a way you were happy. He would not be captured by these assholes.

Tears anew gather along your eyes, pooling over the muzzle, lining it with salt instead of iron as it might have memorised.

The man speaks with others in annoyance, then you feel a pinch along your shoulder.

Slowly everything fades away.

When Bucky sits on his bike, all hell breaks loose. The alert system rings, his phone alert chimes and Sam runs out from the elevators.

“Bucky!” He calls out, but it sounds distant as Bucky reads the notification of the distress call from Alpine’s carrier. He had taught you how to use it and what situations would call for its usage.

Bucky can feel the adrenaline ripping through his blood, heading to every muscle with each cracked beating of his heart.

“Go, go, I’m right above.” Sam urges, red wing to follow Bucky as he drives off. Sam moves swiftly, suiting up and moving through the sky.

“The security has been tampered with at your building.” Sam speaks through the comms, Bucky doesn’t reply. He needs to make sure you’re okay, the calls to you go unanswered. He blinks back the tears, he should have stayed. He should have fucking stayed.

“Satellite footage shows a smaller quinjet landing on the roof. I’m trying to locate it.” Sam knows it isn’t of any use distracting Bucky but he knows this information may help put into perspective.

He should have stayed.

Bike haphazardly parked he rushes through the glass doors, this was supposed to be hidden away. Blue eyes trace the steps he had carried you through, soaking in the rain or blooming through the first spring, hot chocolates in hand during the snowy winter.

Memories of laughter in the hallway, why was his mind his worst enemy? The door is open, he can tell by the faint scent of those candles you love permeating through the hallway.

He should have stayed.

Alpine’s meows gives him hope, it sinks the second he assesses the damage in the living room. He heads on over to the carrier kept near the hidden exit hatch he had shown you.

Alpine paws at the cage, meowing louder as she recognizes Bucky, he opens it, she launches herself at him, he holds her unable to control the tears that soak her fur.

“You’re okay, I’ve got you, I’ve got you.”

As his vibranium fingers run over her fur he notices her bell isn’t sounding the same. Checking the collar he realises you took the pin that contained her tracker.

Oh he could kiss you. He will when he finds you.

“Sam?” Bucky stands holding his fur baby. Shielding her from the living room and walking out of the apartment. He was going to move you both to a better, secure location.

“What do you need?”

Bucky explains what you did, Sam smiles at your quick thinking. Bucky meets him on the roof. Red Wing loads the tracker information.

The moments are tense as it loads. Bucky only feels the knot tighten when he realises the course is set for Russia.

“We head back to the compound and you will need help.” Sam places a hand on his shoulder.

“I need to save her, Sam, I have to fix things. I promised her.” He stares at his friend, Alpine struggles in his hold.

Sam nods, “You will, now come on. Let's take care of her first, I know Y/N will be worried about Alpine more than herself.”

“Call out to Soldat.”

“No.”

Another hit, you close your eyes. Biting down on your tongue to stop the sound of distress.

“You’re testing my patience girl.”

You stay silent, the red light on the camera mocks you.

Give in.

It repeats.

You shake your head.

“We know the triggers don’t work.” The same man with the scar on his face tells you.

“We want to approach this differently.” He walks around you, pausing behind you.

“He was always an emotional fool when he would begin to remember. Right before we put him in that chair.” The light flickers on in the corner, Bucky’s memories come crashing down as you recall his ordeal spoken to you over his own tears.

“Should we give you a taste?” The man laughs, “You would beg for death. You would do anything I say for death.”

The ropes keep you in place, you’re hunched over. Silently letting the tears flow. How are you finding the strength to not cry out in pain, you don’t understand.

“Now call out to Soldat.” Your head is lifted to face upwards. The fucking red light mocks you, catching your moment of weakness.

“Bucky, it's them, they, they want you to lose your progress, don’t, don’t let it—,” Another slap cuts you off. You bite your tongue not willing to let any sound of distress make it to the video. You stare at the wet patch on the rough ground.

“Do you not understand? I said,”

Harshly the man grabs your jaw, squeezing till your lips form a pout, your head turned to face the camera.

“Call,”

His foot presses on your own leg,

“Soldat.”

You weakly shake your head, glaring at the man.

“You little bitch.”

Your head hits the ground as the chair topples over, your pained whimper makes the man smile.

“Soldat, we have your precious kitten, ah, yes we have been watching for a while. How you’ve been leaving her alone for more and more time.” The man chuckles, as you’re lifted to be righted by his subordinates,

“Poor thing had cooked for you, all that food left in the refrigerator. Now, you come to us alone, we exchange you for her.” He towers over you,

“She doesn’t scream for you Soldat, seems you have chosen a strong one for yourself. I’ll enjoy breaking her. Then she will sing for you.” He assures, you don’t look at him, staring at the ground instead.

The silence is deafening, roaring in your ears as they leave you alone for minutes or hours on end. The red dot in the corner indicating the camera isn’t there anymore, they got what they needed.

You will yourself not to cry, one motive was them exploiting you and your pain to bring out Soldat.

Bucky had confided in you about his past.

The dark embers that surrounded his mind. The night he spoke about the words and their consequences with a rasp you had sobbed in his arms.

Cradling him. Your arms ache in remembrance of Bucky. Your mind taking you to the first time cuddling with him, pressed against him on the cold day.

You couldn't allow them to take away his progress, to weaponize them again. You were hardly an enhanced being, just a civilian. A civilian who is endangering the man she loves.

Metal clangs, the ties to the chair are unravelled. Only footsteps echo when you’re dragged into the outer hallway, flickering lights make you wince. Keeping your gaze on the floor. The throbbing in your head dulls in the slightest.

When you’re pushed into the room on your knees, hands shackled above you. The people leave the room. Looking around there isn’t much, it’s cleaner and tilted a section to the side has a wide bed, another seems to harbour a two way glass.

You stare at your own reflection, red lines your forehead and temple. Splotches across your cheeks and arms. The full sleeved shirt you were wearing is in tatters.

The man enters, a scowl on his face. It tugs on his scar. His footsteps feel like pinpricks on your skin.

“Check her.” He orders the subordinate who steps closer to you. Her hair was cropped, she kneels her hands pat along your arms moving downward. You shift uncomfortably then her hands move to your pockets.

You feel her reach for the clip. You bite your tongue. Closing your eyes. The slap doesn’t sting this time, your bruised cheeks throb in numbing pain.

“Tracker.” She places the clip into the palm of the man’s hand.

“Hmm, it appears you have led Soldat right to us. He was to head to his old stomping grounds following our jet. Your smartness has led him right into our hold.” He grins, your heart sinks.

“Yes, you should feel guilty. However, you should feel pride. You will be the catalyst to return the fist of HYDRA.” His laugh echoes even after he leaves.

Your stomach cramps, not understanding how many hours has it been.

Your mind drifts to Bucky, guilt latches around you.

You should have kept quiet, what if he got hurt?

What if no one found Alpine?

What if you put him in more danger?

Tracing your location had been easy due to the tracker. However, HYDRA had been smart, constantly moving you. The cat and mouse game they were playing with him.

The video came in after three hours, your eyes glazed over filling Bucky’s with rage at the way they kept hurting you. Forcing you to call out to The Winter Soldier.

The video from Alpine’s camera had burned itself into his memory. He swore to cause all of them pain. Each one that hurt you.

Sam watches him through the video feed, the quinjet on the last leg of the journey.

“I need to ask you, not because I don’t trust you, but I am worried.”

Bucky turns away from the video, he was going to rip the man apart. Piece by fucking piece.

“I already told you, they won’t be able to trigger—,”

“You told me once, you feared he was still somewhere inside, waiting.” Sam cuts him off.

“Sam, I do know what I told you, I, I don’t want it to come down to that. But if it is the only way to protect her? Then I do not care, I’m giving myself up for her even if I have to pretend to be him.” Bucky looks back at the paused screen, on your features, he clenches his fists. The embers in his mind rattle, the part of him tucked away already trying to break free.

“And if he takes over? What will prevent her from getting hurt?” Sam didn’t want to think this could happen, but he had to have Bucky pause and run through the consequences.

The blue eyed man stays quiet, “I’d never let anything harm her, I’ve failed spectacularly but I plan to not let it happen ever again, from my own hands to anyone else’s.”

Sam nods, the jet lands on the outskirts. It doesn’t sit right letting Bucky go in alone. They couldn’t afford anything to happen to you. Stocking the jet with supplies, safe houses and trackers planted.

Bucky loads his weapons, heading out towards you. He jogs through the perimeter. Silently taking down the guards walking along. He pulls the bodies into the surrounding forest.

They don’t get a chance to touch him, not landing even a nick to his skin. Bucky traces the easiest exit path from his breach point back to the jet.

Breaching the facility walls and building, with each body on the floor it hardly satiates the anger within him. The room you were kept in was familiar. All facilities mimicked the same patterns. Same layout.

The room is empty, he traverses down the hallway when he hears your pained whimper. He doesn’t care if it is a trap.

“Y/N.” He whispers, limbs picking up pace, he kicks down the door, the room is empty. Save for the glass that shows him you, kneeling on the floor. Arms extended behind you in shackles.

His vibranium fist collides with the glass.

The man grins.

“Oh look, Soldat is here.” He announces.

You look up, glass trembles as his fist lands upon it.

“Bucky.” You say loudly still unable to see him.

The punching becomes frantic, Bucky looks around the room, then at the corner of the glass frame.

“Call out to Soldat.”

“Bucky!” You cry out as the hit lands to your side.

“Don’t you fucking touch her!” He roars, hitting harder.

“Soldat.” The man seethes again. You don’t understand why your resolve to not cry or sob is breaking. Your eyes move towards the glass again. It shakes.

A crack forming at the bottom left, then right.

You cry out when your hair is pulled upon, “Bucky—,”

“Kitten!” He calls out, another hit to the top left corner, the satisfying crack pushes him forward. Using the table as leverage, he moves back holding it up.

The light flickers, your gaze finds Bucky moving back with the table, “Bucky.” You rasp finally seeing him. The weight on your chest shifts, tiny spikes of guilt press into your heart.

“Soldat, pay attention.” The voice cuts through his movements.

Bucky looks out the glass, the barrel of a gun is held against your temple.

“One more move and she doesn’t get to even reunite with you.” You whimper when the gun presses harder into your skin. The metal is warm as though recently used.

Bucky sets the table down, “Give her to me.” His voice is cold, the anger simmering through his veins.

“Now, now, ask her to call to Soldat.” The man tuts, “She seems hell bent on not wanting to help us. Help you in fact. You were at your greatest with us. It is your destiny to be HYDRA’s pawn to greatness.”

Bucky looks at you, even in a tight grip he knows defiance is on your tongue. You weren’t going to allow him to be subjected to those horrible times again.

He takes note of your visible injuries, the way your breathing is shallow he knows you’ve landed injuries to your chest too.

“She won’t because your precious Soldat is gone.” Bucky looks back at the man.

“Now I find that hard to believe.” The man hauls you up, your unsteady footing makes you stumble, Bucky moves forward, then there is a click.

“You remember this scent I presume? Locking down your body but keeps you conscious.” The man chuckles.

Bucky turns to the door, but the gas permeates through him his hand stays half raised, your hands slam on the glass as he falls to his knees.

“Bucky!” You cry out.

“Say it.” Bucky rasps coughing against the irritant fumes.

“No, Bucky I—,”

“Do it, don’t argue.” Blue eyes blazing, you gaze at him, tears stream down your face as the men filter into the room.

“S-Soldat.” You say as they pick him up, grabbing his head by his hair making him look at you.

“Louder, he needs to hear you.” The man taunts as the six men hold him up. Bucky’s eyes are trained on you. He wants to apologise for putting you through this, for hurting you, for not prioritising you. His throat is locked, the gas was enough for them to read the words to him, so he knows he has time.

“Soldat, please— Bucky.” Your voice breaks into a sob before your head is slammed against the glass. Bucky’s eyes shift to the man, he’d be creative in hurting this man. He’d make it hurt.

“You can’t do anything right can you?” The man taunts.

Another harsh tug and slam. Your vision blurs, “Soldat.” You cry out, “Soldat please, just,” your palms rest on the glass, eyes on Bucky as he blurs into smears of colour.

Bucky closes his eyes, your calls to the Soldat echoing around his mind. It isn’t dark embers that begin to shroud over him. There is red hot anger. A growl rumbles in his chest. His breathing is heavier.

Blinking away the tears, you feel the last of your resolve crumble when they press the barrel of a gun to his temple. His eyes are closed, you can’t see him like this, you need him to look at you.

“I need you, Soldat, help, please.” You begin to weep, your own eyes closed now, pressed against the glass, “Soldat, please, s-save, Sol-Soldat.”

The man drags you back to where the shackles were, and lets you go. You fall to the floor not able to hold yourself. Curling against the wall.

The men holding Bucky’s arms are pushed down by him, his hands on either of their necks. The two slump over in his grasp. He stares at the ground ahead. Turning he reaches for his guns before finishing them off.

The remaining four begin to scramble but Soldat doesn’t let them get away. Recognition of the ones who hurt you in your home and in the video. He makes sure their screams reach you in the room across.

They plead, beg, fight, all of it futile.

They lay on the ground.

He picks up the discarded table. The two way glass shatters, the man with scar on his face stumbles back towards you.

You look at Bucky leaping over the shattered glass, boots crunching the scattered pieces.

Your heart shatters like those pieces. You did this to him.

“I’m so sorry.” You whisper, his gaze shifts to you. You sniffle, he makes his way over. Needing to protect you. He had to save you.

More men and women pour in from the broken doorway. The woman who found your clip raises her gun and shoots; the bullet ricochets off of his vibranium palm.

He moves swiftly, the movements natural to him. In a moment he has her on the ground moving to the next soldier. Gunmetal permeates the room, you watch as the cavalry trickles in, Soldat’s movements gain agility.

None of them a match for him, he keeps them away from you. One attacks him with a knife, he catches it turning it around and pressing it into his attacker.

His breathing is hard as he remains standing, you stare at him. He moves in and out of focus as he turns. Locking his eyes on you. The soldiers think his gaze on you is his distraction but it is his fuel. His sustenance. His revenge on them.

“Soldat, welcome back, Hail HYDRA.” The scarred man gleams.

Bucky pauses, turning to the man, he stands at ease as a soldier, hands folded behind his back. The smile of the man widens, you feel a fresh wave of tears.

“Would you like to keep her Soldat?” The man questions, “Isn’t anything special, but you may need something to blow off steam. We could even share—,”

“Kotenok (kitten).” His voice has a deeper timbre, eyes on you. You stare at the ground.

“You call her Kitten?” The man raises a brow, “You recognise her?”

This gives you hope, for what you don’t know. If even as Soldat he calls you by the endearment that only the two of you know the reason it fills you with hope.

“Kotenok.” He calls out again, when you look up at him, you don’t feel unease, “Close your eyes.”

You nod, turning away.

Soldat turns to the man again, lips stretched into a snarl. He lunges for the man, two bullets in his legs and the man cries out.

You curl further against the wall, his screams are hoarse, the crunching of bones should make you shudder but a fucked up part of you wants to celebrate as Bucky hurts the man as much as you’ve been hurt.

Soldat doesn’t stop, he lets the man think he has a chance at living. The rage drives him. He never knew he could decide who to harm, your voice calling for him, needing him. Awoke him from a slumber he knew he had to return back toward.

He didn’t need a finality moment to recognise you, it was in his being.

Who you are, what you mean to him.

Every part of him recognised you.

Knew you.

Knows you.

Protects you.

Loves you.

“We’ll get you Soldat.” The man warns in Russian, coughing up blood. Soldat drags him over the shattered glass.

“You won’t.” Soldat assures speaking the same tongue, “This is a warning, the last one. If you try to touch my Kotenok again, or even think of it. Any one little measly one of you, you have to go through me. It won’t end well. You trained me for this didn’t you? You will reap the consequences.”

His metal arm delivers the final blow. He stands making his way over to you. Kneeling, he checks on the surroundings, more people hadn’t come in, the facility was big but not too much man power. He had secured the perimeter.

“Kotenok.” He whispers, you turn, “Open your eyes.”

You follow his instructions, the first thing you see is his chest. You keep your eyes steady, you follow the movement of his breathing, trailing up to his neck then chin, jaw, lips, nose, eyes. You breathe.

“I’m sorry.” The words tumble out.

“You did nothing wrong. I am sorry.” He assures, flesh hand coming to touch your cheek with such tenderness, you lean into his palm.

“I feel safe with you.” You tell him, needing him to know this side of him does not scare you away.

“Kotenok.” He says as though he doesn’t believe your words.

“I do.” You shift to raise your hands to hug him and then wince as the pain manifests across your body.

“Don’t move, I’ll carry you out.” He says hands moving under your knees and around your back.

Without effort you’re lifted, you tuck your face against his chest not wanting to see the place. You feel the ghost of his lips along your crown. It’s so featherlite you think you made it up.

“You can open your eyes, Kotenok, we’re outside.” It’s dark out, you wonder how long it has been? The facility had no clock and they never told you anything beyond ordering you to be a catalyst.

“Is Alpine okay?” You feel bad for not asking till now, he nods.

“With Sam, the vet checked her, she’s healthy.” Something inside him warms, he holds you closer.

“Okay, that is, that's good.”

Soldat’s jog slows down as the quinjet nears. He asks you to slip in the comm into his ear from the upper flap in his jacket. .

“Bucky? Are you both okay?” Sam’s voice comes through.

“She’s hurt. Need the medical supplies.” His replies are curt.

“What about you?” Sam questions, having the quinjet open, he carries you up right to the first aid area.

Soldat keeps quiet, working on retrieving the first aid boxes, this felt different than before. It wasn’t just him in the forefront with everything else static, until one day his mission turned into his long lost best friend.

It's almost as if Bucky isn’t tucked away but present, just lingering.

“Bucky?” Sam questions again,

“Put the flight path to a safe house, I’ll be radio silent for twenty five minutes.” He says placing the comm back into the pocket.

“Kotenok.” He says you look up at him, the plinth wasn't uncomfortable but you felt better upright.

“Hey.” You greet, “You feeling okay? Are you hurt?”

“Still Soldat, no but I should be.” He says, lips curling in disgust at himself, as he reaches for the scissors taking in the blood coating your clothes.

“You’re still you, I’m glad you aren’t hurt.” You press, he looks down at you.

Nothing further is said, he uses the gauze and saline to wipe away the dried blood and wash the cuts on your forehead and face.

You realise lifting your hands is painful. He has the scissors and cuts through the material. His inhale is sharp as your skin is exposed.

Bruises litter your skin, “I went too easy on him.”

The scissors break in his vibranium arm.

“Bucky.” You swallow, “This is not your fault.”

“It is! He should not have left you alone and vulnerable, weeks on end!” He looks at you.

“They would have attacked and used me against you even if you were there all the time. That was their plan. I shouldn’t have argued with you right before a mission.”

“He could have protected you.”

“And he did. As did you.” You don’t want him to harbour guilt, you know this isn’t a conversation to be had when he’s not feeling like himself. While he’s vulnerable. You don’t know how to navigate this, you don’t know what he needs, it makes you feel helpless.

He says nothing, soaking more gauze to clean the blood from the cut on your side. You shiver at the cold sensation of the antiseptic.

You recognise his duffle bag as he pulls out a long sleeve black henley of his, helping you wear it, along with a pair of your leggings and shoes.

He inspects your lower limbs, small scrapes on the knees and nothing more. Carefully he makes you wear the clothes, easing them on you without triggering the pain.

The scent of the antiseptic mixes with the lingering cologne on his henley. You sigh at the small comfort. He watches your thumb tracing over the sleeves that are longer on you.

“Do you want to keep laying down?” He reaches forward when your face contorts into pain.

“I’d rather keep sitting.” You murmur, “Do, do you have water?”

He nods, moving to the other side and bringing you a bottle, gingerly holding it up to your lips as you drink small sips. He moves his vibranium hand to the back of your head holding you tenderly, fingertips softly tracing over your scalp.

Your eyes fall half mast, the gesture always comforting when Bucky did it, having you pressed against him, protected in his embrace. When he feels your head push into his hand the bottle is removed.

The stray drop of water wiped away by his flesh hand.

“Bucky,” your breath warm over his digit.

“Not him.” He corrects you, thumb tracing over your bottom lip.

“Do you want me to call you ‘Soldat’?” You wonder, trying to search his eyes for an answer as they trace your lips.

“No.” His lips press into a thin line.

The hum is of the quinjet, filling in the silence. You keep your breaths even, deeper ones trickle into pain. Exhaustion lingers in the periphery slowly gaining momentum as the adrenaline retreats. The aches now front and centre but you fight it all, begging yourself to stay awake for him.

“Call me yours, Kotenok.” Your eyes shift to his, there is a nervousness that is palpable within him. The Soldat never deemed himself worthy, he knew you didn’t blame his counterpart for the crimes that drench his palms in red.

You grasp his wrists gently, “You are mine, every part of you, every facet of you. Even the pieces of you that you think are too broken for me, too jagged, that it may hurt me, even the pieces of you that you deem pristine. That you think are worthy. You are mine.”

He closes his eyes, head dipping forward touching his forehead to yours, “You told him once, what he did was not him.” He whispers, “How will you tell me that it wasn’t me? When you know the hands you hold are guilty?”

“You did not do it out of your own accord, you were manipulated and forced.” You keep your eyes closed, the sickening image of the chair comes to life, “That man, he showed me the chair.”

He stiffens, “Did they—,”

“He threatened to, but he didn’t. They took away your free will.” You press a gentle kiss to his palms.

“What if, what if I told you some days I did it just to avoid the punishments? That I willingly shed blood.”

“You tried to protect yourself. They pushed you to it, I know you never wanted to hurt anyone, I know you wouldn’t do it without reason. You’ve suffered enough. It will take time to heal, I know. I don’t expect this conversation to make things okay in a giffy.” You open your eyes, his still closed, gently you press your lips to above his cupid’s bow.

His face contorts, red spreading along his cheeks as he tries to stop the tears. Eyes screwed shut tighter.

“It took too long for me to answer your call, Kotenok.”

“It’s okay. You have me, it’s okay. Let it out baby.” You assure him, “You answered my call. You rescued me. You took care of my wounds. You are taking care of me.”

He shifts, very careful of your injuries, nuzzled into the crook of your neck. He holds you, not letting you wrap your arms around him. You grasp onto his leather jacket. Then snake your palm towards his scalp knowing it soothes him when you run your fingers through his hair.

Tears coat his henley that you wear, your own eyes brim with your own tears. He cries, the sobs making his shoulders shake. You pull him closer when he tries to shift away to prevent jostling you.

“Stay.” You meant for the word to sound reassuring but the way it breaks on your tongue, giving away your own selfish need to have him close, “Please, stay. I’m here for you.”

Time trickles on by, his sobs turn softer, then breathing evened out. You keep running your fingers through his hair and along the nape of his neck. You press your face against his chest.

“I’m sorry I made you feel neglected.” His voice is softer, the slight hint of his accent gone, “I, I can’t believe I let you get hurt. Don’t, don’t try to make me feel better by excusing it onto them.”

“Bucky—,”

“I don’t want to hear it, Kitten. Blame me. Scream at me. Be angry with me.” He places a chaste kiss on your neck, “Tell me off, they hurt my kitten so badly.” His arms move gently over your back and then sides.

“They hurt me.” You try to reason.

“Because of me. Because they want him. If I was around I would have caught on.” He argues.

“Bucky—, just, why were you taking so many missions?” You ask, if this is how you would get him to stop trying to blame himself so be it.

He shifts, creating distance to look at you, eyes falling to the bruise. His lips purse as his thumb traces over your cheekbone. Reliving the way you were hurt in front of him.

“I, I began to feel the guilt again. Nightmares started intermittently. I thought that if I did more good, I could outweigh the bad.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Your hands rest on your thighs, the wave of dizziness hits you then, your eyes remain downcast. Bucky blurs in and out of view with black spots.

“I thought I could handle it better, I didn’t realise I’d ended up pushing the actual good in my life so far away. You’re so important to me. I fucked up, I’m so utterly sorry.” He grasps your chin making you look up at him.

You close your eyes, Bucky sighs when he doesn’t get to see your pretty eyes. The ones he would find first thing in the morning to be the last sight of beauty before he slept.

“I’m sorry.” He rests his forehead to yours again.

“Please don’t put me through that again, making me feel like I don’t matter.” You request.

“I’m never going to make you feel that way again, Kitten. I promise.” He opens his eyes, breath caught when they find yours looking right at him.

The quinjet lands, bringing on another wave of nausea and pain. Bucky holds you close, jogging the distance to the safe house. Carrying you across the threshold and locating the room, he places you on the bed.

The safe house has a lingering scent of pine and vanilla, the thought makes you laugh that it isn’t what you expected. Maybe hidden weapons and not as though a scented candle store.

Bucky sets the bags down next to the bed. With precise movements he goes through the house, gathering more medical supplies as he makes sure the location is safe. He connects to the communications system and updates Sam in writing instead of a call.

Although it seemed as if Sam knew what may have occurred. The HYDRA base was left finished by him, void of any manpower.

Sam sends in an update that the base is no longer standing. The intel was collected from devices they could garner.

The tucked away part of him smiles, it worries Bucky how there isn’t a barrier anymore between Soldat and him. The way Soldat defended you, took care of you. He knows your safety isn’t something he should be worried about.

“Bucky?” You rasp, he strides to the room.

“Kitten?” He tucks a strand of your hair back.

“Come lay down?” You request, he nods.

“Let me change out of these clothes.”

He walks to the ensuite clean clothes in hand, Bucky notices the way your fingers clutch the sheets as he’s about to close the door.

“I was thinking,” He leaves the door open, taking off his clothes. Your hands relax seeing him.

“Yeah?”

“It’s Alpine’s birthday next weekend, we should host a party, get her a party hat. Blue with frills?”

You stare at him for a moment, “You want to get Alpine a party hat?”

“Yeah.” He grins, taking off his pants.

“Okay for a minute I thought this concussion is making me imagine a white fluffy cat in a party hat.” You try not to giggle but the sound escapes you, making Bucky laugh.

The crinkles by his eyes gaining prominence, you want to reach for him.

“It would be cute.” He defends.

“She’s going to gauge our eyes out.” You chuckle.

“Nah we’ll get her nails clipped so she can’t.” He teases, putting on his shirt and making his way to bed.

As he settles in next to you, you shift despite his protest to have you lay to not aggravate any injuries. You shoot him a glare.

“Alright, alright.” He raises his palms facing you in defence, wrapping them around you when you cuddle against his chest.

You feel his steady heartbeat, the gradual rise and fall of his chest. The heavier dosed painkillers work wonderfully but the exhaustion pulls at you.

“I want to stay awake.” You whisper.

“I’ll be right here when you wake up.” Bucky presses a kiss to your forehead in promise.

“I’ve missed you.”

He stays quiet in the wake of your admission, “I’m sorry I made you miss me this much.”

“I meant what I said, about loving every part of you.” You remind him. The exhaustion lingers in and out.

Bucky presses his lips to your forehead again, Soldat shifts forward for a moment, fingers moving as he gently tilts your head back to meet your eyes, “Thank you for trusting me, Kotenok.”

His lips brush against yours, more hesitant, you shift closer.

The kiss is soft, Soldat learning the way your lips taste. He pulls away, taking you in for a moment, his muscles relax but not completely.

“I don’t know how to keep him tucked away again.” Bucky admits, “I knew he was there…”

“I’m sorry–,”

“Please don’t apologise, I’d rather have you being the one calling out to him rather than anyone else.” His thumb moves over your cheek.

“I won’t apologise if you don’t apologise about me getting hurt. I’m not talking about you taking missions, I’m talking about blaming yourself for what happened at the base.”

Bucky sighs, breath fanning across your lips, he contemplates your words. Mind reflecting on everything that happened.

“You have yourself a deal.” He says, you smile.

“Now about you being an idiot of a boyfriend. After we wake up you can grovel.” You poke his cheek, Bucky laughs.

“Alright, kitten. I’ll get on my knees too.” He teases admiring your smile then wraps the blanket better around the two of you. Your eyes slowly flutter close.

Bucky stares at the ceiling. Soldat allows himself to feel you in his arms.

Bucky closes his eyes, joining you in slumber.

bucky permanent tags: @slutforsexyseabass

permanent tags: @stevesmewmew @pandaxnienke

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your-eternal-lies · 18 days

Text

_ HEAT OF THE MOMENT (AU masterlist)

Main Navigation || Follow @your-eternal-library and turn on notifications for all of my fanfiction updates.

FEATURED PAIRINGS — Fire Chief!Ari Levinson x Reader / Firefighter!Bucky Barnes x Reader / Firefighter!Jake Jensen x Reader / Small!Firefighter!Steve Rogers x Reader / Fire Marshal!Frank Adler x Reader / Firefighter!Loki Laufeyson x Reader / Firefighter!Lloyd Hansen x Reader / Firefighter!Thor Odinson x Reader / Firefighter!Pietro Maximoff x Reader AU INTRO — The local fire department, the famous and beloved Station 616, is just teeming with eligible bachelors... but not for long! Summers are for falling in love, after all.

CONTENTS AND WARNINGS — Modern AU, firefighter AU, crossover fic, language, fluff, mild angst, sexual content (ranging from mild to explicit), rom-com vibes, no use of y/n, each character gets their own Reader (not a poly fic), playboy tendencies, age gap, friends to lovers, workplace romances, enemies to lovers, allusions to divorce/troubled marriages, and possibly more as the stories are written.

NOTE — Each story is a three-part miniseries and can be read as standalones. I do not currently have any plans to write any more than what’s listed, but I will never say never. There is also no release schedule; I will post at my own leisure so please refrain from asking, thank you!

LAST UPDATED: March 31, 2024 STATUS: Coming Soon

PLAYING WITH FIRE _ ╰┈➤ ft. Fire Chief!Ari Levinson x Photographer f!Reader

Ari is the dedicated fire chief of Station 616 who runs the show with an iron fist and a heart of gold, but the one thing he can’t seem to get a handle on is his personal life—until the Station is partnered up with a new bright-eyed photographer for this year’s charity calendar photoshoot. Part 1 ┊ Part 2 ┊ Part 3

MOTH TO A FLAME _ ╰┈➤ ft. Firefighter!Bucky Barnes x Firefighter f!Reader

There are strict rules to be followed in life, otherwise the world would descend to chaos, right? You insist on never dating a coworker, while Bucky insists on not dating at all. Well, fortunately for the both of you, everyone knows rules are made to be broken. Part 1 ┊ Part 2 ┊ Part 3

FIRE AND WHISKEY _ ╰┈➤ ft. Firefighter!Jake Jensen x Bartender f!Reader

It’s tradition that the entire squad heads down to the same local hole in the wall for any occasion, no matter what it is, okay? It has absolutely nothing to do with Jensen’s insanely obvious crush on the badass bartender, capeesh? Part 1 ┊ Part 2 ┊ Part 3

COMIN’ IN HOT _ ╰┈➤ ft. Small!Firefighter!Steve Rogers x Volunteer f!Reader

At just 5’4” and 95 pounds soaking wet, Steve is the scrawniest yet the most determined member of the 616 team. Often underestimated, he finds solace in a budding relationship with the part-time volunteer at the firehouse, who seems to see right through his physical appearance. Part 1 ┊ Part 2 ┊ Part 3

BURNING UP _ ╰┈➤ ft. Fire Marshal!Frank Adler x Business Owner f!Reader

You are horrified when you head to work one day only to discover that your precious store has gone up in flames. And if that isn’t already terrible enough, it seems the crabby, unsmiling fire marshal assigned to your case is already convinced that you’re guilty of arson. Part 1 ┊ Part 2 ┊ Part 3

HEAT WAVE _ ╰┈➤ ft. Firefighter!Loki Laufeyson x Environmentalist f!Reader

Loki, the enigmatic and secretly sensitive member of the team, is dispatched to a scene across town, he’s not expecting anything out of the ordinary. Imagine his surprise when he finds a woman from his past, chained to a tree, and leading an environmental protest that is quickly getting out of hand. Part 1 ┊ Part 2 ┊ Part 3

WARM BEDS _ ╰┈➤ ft. Firefighter!Lloyd Hansen x Teacher f!Reader

Lloyd doesn’t actually like teaching fire safety to snot-nosed brats, but he loves going on the prowl for his next one night stand with the single moms, teachers, and school administrators… until he meets his match in a new no-nonsense teacher, who remains frustratingly unimpressed in the face of his uniform and charm. Part 1 ┊ Part 2 ┊ Part 3

HOT-BLOODED _ ╰┈➤ ft. Firefighter!Thor Odinson x Grad Student f!Reader

You’re usually very level-headed, okay? You’re not usually the type to get into scrapes like this. All you wanted was a tiny bit of revenge on your cheating, lying ex-boyfriend… you didn’t expect your rage to get the better of you, nor did you expect the fire you set to his car to get so out of control. Part 1 ┊ Part 2 ┊ Part 3

WORLD ON FIRE _ ╰┈➤ ft. Firefighter!Pietro Maximoff x Reporter f!Reader

Rumours begin to swirl around Station 616, calling into question the integrity of the fire department’s hiring policies. But when you meet Pietro Maximoff, the firefighter at the centre of all the controversy, suddenly the price of a potentially career-making story is no longer one you’re willing to pay. Part 1 ┊ Part 2 ┊ Part 3

NOTES — I cannot wait to share these with you!!! 🥰

#ari levinson x reader #bucky barnes x reader #steve rogers x reader #loki laufeyson x reader #thor odinson x reader #lloyd hansen x reader #jake jensen x reader #frank adler x reader #pietro maximoff x reader #firefighter au #au: heat of the moment #marvel fanfiction #chris evans character fanfiction

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buckyalpine · 1 year

Note

So for the Untouched AU have you thought about any of these scenarios? Film themselves having sex, using whipped cream or chocolate, try getting tied up (either one of them but y/n would be my choice), give y/n a nipple-only orgasm, role playing, try edging, order a sex toy online after they search the site for things they wanna try together, tease each other all week with sexting during class, sending pics/videos to each other. I know. Just a few thoughts…🙄

18+

Bucky x f reader (Steve's sister, if you’re like me, add the caveat of being an adopted sister)

Sex tapes with our Untouched babies? The answer to this is hell yes. These babies are learning everything together. Nudes. Edging. Sex tapes included. Can be read as a standalone.

Warnings: Smutty smut, fluffy fluff, shy reader, sending nudes, sex tapes

The first nudes

It started off with a few sexy pics.

He’d send you a pic of him in his grey sweats after the gym. There’s no way to hide his boner, the outline of his cock straining against the fabric.

Shirtless pics.

Fresh out the shower, towel hanging low pics.

He didn't want to pressure you to send anything so he doesn’t even ask, happy to tease and tempt you instead. Quite honestly he regretted sending you anything in the first place because the second you sent him something with a little extra cleavage he had to hold his school bag against his lap to contain his boner.

The first time he sent you nudes was after he’d spent the whole day struggling to keep his hands to himself after you’d paraded around the house in a tiny sundress. He’d come over to play video games, gritting his teeth each time you came over to you brothers room to bring up their pizza and drinks, petting his hair on your way out. He couldn’t focus on a damn thing, his mind clouded with your bare thighs and the glance he got of your tiny panties from where he was sitting, only coming to his senses when Steve threw the controller at his head.

At least keep it in your goddamn pants when I’m around punk

As soon as he was home, he pulled his pants off, grabbing his phone, showing off his leaking cock, throbbing, the tip glistening without him touching himself.

My Bucky: See what you do to me?

Babydoll: OMG BUCKY 🙈

My Bucky: It’s fucking leaking sweets, fuck I need you

Babydoll: Serves you right, perving all day 🙄

M Bucky: You’re the one who teased me, come make it go away 🥺️

You giggled, your face heating up, feeling a little frisky, butterflies erupting around your tummy when he sent you another pic, this time with his balls, legs spread. You pulled your dress up, pulling your panties to the side, giving him the perfect view of your glistening cunt, your heart racing after you hit send.

Babydoll: Take care of me first

My Bucky: God Damn.

My Bucky: Fuck babydoll

My Bucky: Not fair, let me come over doll, please?

5 minutes later

My Bucky: I’m outside.

That started it. Bucky didn’t hesitate to show you exactly what you did to him and how hard he was, always ready to show you exactly how turned on he was for you. Study room. His car. Bed. It was fine until he’d nearly gotten caught twice, always scrambling to yank his pants back up, the tell tale blush on his face giving him away.

“Bucky had his dick out again”

“For fucks sake Barnes”

“You’re both something else, I swear”

“This is why we call you Bucknasty”

“You nasty hoe”

“Shut up Sam”

Your nudes drove Bucky feral and he’d nearly came in his pants the first time you sent him something in lingerie. He whimpered as soon as he opened the message, struggling not to palm himself, his eyes nearly crossing seeing you encased beautifully in the dark lace, the sheer material hardly covering your nipples and your perfect cunt. He may or may not have left class to rub one out, but it didn’t do much, his cock continued to twitch until he had you spread out on his bed. Your nudes are precious gold to him and he treasures every single one with his life. His beautiful doll in her bare form, all just for him.

The first time edging

“Sweet girl, please?”

“You’re pretty when you beg baby”

You were on top of Bucky, winding your hips down on him, watching his beautiful fucked out face, his skin flushed, lip chewed from how hard he was focusing. He had a bruising grip on your thighs, his cock throbbing from how badly he wanted to cum. You had made him hold it, bringing him close to the edge only to stop his orgasm right at the tip, his cock swollen and desperate.

“F-fuck, I can’t y/n” He nearly sobbed, squeezing his eyes shut. You felt your stomach clench, watching his perfect face contort, his brows furrowed, trying so hard to force himself from cumming. “Baby, s’too much, I wanna cum, let me cum, I can’t hold it”

“Y-yes you can” You continued to bounce on his cock, your high pitched whines making it harder for him to hold off his orgasm. You’d been curious about edging for a while, wanting to give Bucky the most intense pleasure of his life, not realizing it’d be just as amazing for you. Your slick dripped all over his crotch, his balls covered in your arousal.

“C’mon, I know you wanna cum, let’s cum together baby, please” He pleaded with you, choking at the way your pussy squeezed and fluttered around him, your own orgasm waiting to snap. You whimpered, gasping when he snaked his hand to play with your clit, a pornographic moan slipping from your lip as he rubbed perfect circles.

“Does that feel good doll? You gonna cum with me?”

“FUCK BUCKY” You gave into the pleasure he toyed with, your muscles tensed as he started to fuck up into you from underneath, his cock growing harder. “I-shit-

“Let go with me doll, cum with me, I got you” Bucky grabbed your hips, slamming you down onto his cock while he thrusted upwards, his back nearly arching off the bed. You moaned, your body giving way and falling limp, letting him pound from underneath you, the sounds of skin slapping growing louder.

“I’m gonna cum Bucky!” You started to flutter around his cock, your juices soaked him again as you came on his cock. Bucky let out a strained moan feeling you squeeze him, his pace growing sloppy as he pushed in as deep as he could.

“Fuckffuck thankyouthankyou, oh god, gonna c- AH FUCKKK” Bucky wrapped his arms around you, stilling as he cock throbbed, cum pumping into your pussy while he whined and whimpered under you. He refused to move afterwards, keeping his cock warm inside you while you both cuddled under his sheets, his face buried into the crook of your neck.

“Bubba, you have to pull out at some point” You giggled, playing with his hair while he shook his head, keeping his flushed face hidden.

“Sensitive” He whispered, staying inside your warmth, a new idea coming to mind, “We should try rope next time”

The first time using rope

“You sure you okay with this bubba?” Bucky checked the ties again, making sure they were comfortable around your wrists, his thumb stroking your cheek while you looked up at him with love and adoration. No matter what it was he wanted to do, your comfort had always come first.

That being said, something about having you tied up had made Bucky extra feral. He loved the way you trusted him, your pretty doe eyes shying away from him while you were bare in his bed.

“You-you look so pretty tied up like this for me baby” Bucky whispered, kissing your lips sweetly while you whimpered, squeezing your thighs together, your clit throbbing. You felt a shiver, naked on his bed while he still had his clothes on, admiring your pretty form as if you were a present just for him.

He stripped his clothes off while keeping his eyes locked with yours, crawling onto the bed and tossing your legs apart, licking his lips before kissing your inner thigh.

“Gonna let me play with this pretty pussy baby?” Bucky didn’t waste a second, his tongue laving and drinking every bit of your sweetness, loving the way your squirmed each time he flicked at your clit.

“Fuck Bucky!” Your back bowed off the bed as he latched onto your clit, suckling, practically nursing off you, moaning as he kept his lips sealed around your sensitive bud. He pulled away from you, untying the rope, just to manhandle you and shove your face into the mattress with your ass in the air. You yelped, feeling his hand spank your ass, grabbing both hands and tying them again, holding onto your wrists as leverage as he brought his cock to your entrance.

“Scream for me baby” He gave you a wolfish grin, glancing at the mirror that was off to the side of the bed, the more you squirmed, the more his cock leaked. “Can’t run from my cock now so take it” He shoved his cock into you, pounding into you, letting his balls hit your clit with each thrust, grunting and groaning.

“S’too much” Your eyes rolled back, the coil in your belly winding tighter as he pressed his hand to your shoulder blades making his cock his deeper. You cried out, your pussy squelching, your juices making a mess on his thighs. “I’m gonna cum Bucky, pleasee-”

“Fuck, you gonna cum without me even touching you baby? Don’t even need me to rub that pretty pearl of yours, you gonna cum just from my cock fucking you? You can take it baby, you’re my good girl” Bucky’s voice was low, nearly breathless, his cock throbbing, reeling over how the rope felt as he held onto your tied hands, his perfect beautiful doll, helplessly crying over his cock. “Hold it baby, fuckin’ hold it”

“Wanna cum James, p-please, wanna cum” You couldn’t even hold it any more, your pussy already starting to flutter. Your moans were muffled against the sheets, your trembling body a sign you were close.

“Together, jus-jus’ fuckin hold it sweets, that’s it, my good girl, my good fuckin’ girl, m’gonna fill you up okay?” Bucky rubbed up and down your spine, his head thrown back. “Gonna make you feel so good, give you all the cum you want babydoll, cum now baby, cum right fucking now!”

“Give me your cum James” You cried out, your orgasm ripping through you right on his command. Your pussy was desperate to milk every drop of his cum, squeezing and pulsing around him making it harder for him to move.

“Oh fuck, you have no idea, I’m gonna give it to you doll, gonna give you so much, so much, SO FUCKING MUCH FUCK-” Bucky slammed into you, grabbing your hips and holding still as his cock throbbed, desperately moaning as he filled you up. He untied your wrists, still panting and sensitive from his climax, pulling you up to cuddle up with him.

“Did I do good Bucky” You mumbled against him, your face buried in his chest, nearly falling asleep instantly at his ministrations.

“Did so good for me my angel, so perfect” He stroked your hair, kissing your face while you nuzzled against him, his hands gently massaging the indents of the rope of your wrists. “My perfect good girl”

The first sex tape

Bucky can't help himself, wanting to capture some of those intimate moments with you for just his viewing pleasure. It didn’t matter if he was making soft love to you or railing the fuck out of you, he wanted to go back to every single moment and capture how perfect you were for him, how perfect you looked together. He wanted to see how gorgeous you looked when you were filled up with his cock, how your pretty face contorted with pleasure with him deep inside you.

You knew he wanted something when he spent the whole day being needy, trailing behind you like a lost puppy.

“Wanna make a sex tape with you” He whispered, his cheeks blushing.

"Buckyyy" You covered your face when he brought it up, your cheeks heating up at the idea; you weren’t against it but you still felt self conscious. Bucky pulled you into his lap, cupping your cheek to make you look at him, kissing you before speaking again.

"Promise no one else will see it sweets, we won't do it if you're no comfortable with it though" He smiled softly and you knew he meant it. Not once had he ever pressured you into doing something you didn't like.

He waited for the day where you felt comfortable. His whole body buzzed with anticipation, noting that you were much more shy, staying curled up in bed, trying to cover yourself up. Bucky propped his phone up, letting it rest on the dresser while he crawled into bed, draping his body over yours, keeping you covered.

“You sure you okay with this pretty baby?” He whispered, his nose gently bumping against yours. You felt your face heat up, nodding and wrapping your arms around his shoulders. “I’m sure”

“Can-can I eat you out first?”

Your eyes grew wide for a moment before you said yes, your breath hitching in your throat as he slowly trailed kisses down your body, starting at your neck, stopping to take your nipples into his mouth. He swirled his tongue around, nipping them before continuing down. His broad shoulders still kept you partially covered, his sculpted ass flexing as he grinded against the mattress, moaning as soon as his tongue tasted your slick. He came back up, crashing his lips against yours letting you taste yourself, moaning when he felt your legs come to wrap around his waist.

“How do you want it baby” His cock brushed against your pussy, the tip leaking, “You want it soft or hard?”

“Soft please” You whispered, biting your lip as he smiled, kissing your forehead while lining his cock up, rubbing the tip, letting it catch your hole. His eyes rolled back feeling you fluttering already, his whole body keeping you covered. You relaxed under his body weight, gasping as he filled you up, your pussy fluttering over the roll of his hips. You whimpered, trying to keep your moans down, your nails scratching down his back instead, pleasure overwhelming you.

“Let me hear you sweet girl” He whispered, trailing kisses down your neck, sucking the sensitive flesh, coaxing a whine out of you. “You sound so beautiful when you moan for my cock baby” You couldn’t help but cry out for him as he sped his thrusts up, bringing his knee up, his cock rubbing and kissing that sensitive spot deep inside you.

“Jamesss” You were finding it harder and harder to silence yourself, soft moans starting to slip from your lips. Bucky’s hands came to lace with yours, pinning them on the bed, squeezing them as he barely pulled out, keeping you full of him.

“You feel my cock deep inside you baby?” Bucky’s intense gaze made you feel shy again, overwhelmed with the pleasure he was giving you, how intimate the moment was, how you felt him everywhere, all over.

“So deep B-Bucky” Your voice was shaky, struggling to keep yourself from tipping off the edge, gripping onto his hands instead.

“I know princess, doing so good for me, you make me feel so good” Bucky kissed you until he had to come up for air, panting and resting his forehead onto yours. “Do I make you feel good babygirl? Does my cock make you feel good?”

All you could do was moan, unable to formulate words as he fucked you harder, is thrusts pushing all the way into you. Bucky groaned at the way your jaw was slack, your body trembling under him, thighs squeezing him, you were close, trying so hard not to cum.

“You like my cock in your pussy huh angel? Look at how beautiful you are right now doll, Love making you feel good doll, wanna make you feel good every. single. day” Bucky’s pace started to grow sloppy, his breaths getting heavier.

“Gonna watch this over and over and make myself cum every time I can’t have you pretty girl”

The thought of Bucky watching your sex tape while touching himself was too much, heat coursing through your body, your pussy starting to suck him deeper.

“FUCK JAMES”

“That’s right baby, say my name, wanna hear you scream for me when I make you cum, c’mon, scream my name baby, let go” Bucky picked up his back, moaning into your neck, struggling to hold his own pleasure off until you came first. “Cum baby, m’not gonna last”

“J-JAMESS” You sobbed, your back bowing off the bed, pressing against his chest, your eyes rolling back. Your let out a pornographic moan, cumming all over his cock, your slick gushing out of you as he continued to fuck you through your high.

“Gonna cum for you baby, take it sweet heart, take my cum, take it, take it- oh fucckkk” All the muscles in his body were pulled taut, stilling as his cock throbbed shooting his load inside you. He cuddles with you for a bit, still staying inside you before finally pulling out, making sure he still covers up most of you before grabbing his phone to stop recording.

After the first sex tape, you get a little more comfortable and also more frisky. Bucky records just about anything whenever he gets the chance.

His favorite tapes are the ones where he can see your face and see the way you look at him. It makes him feel butterflies, blushing as he looks back, your pretty eyes always shyly gazing at him even when he doesn’t notice.

His absolute favorite video is the one from the shower where theres so much steam, it’s a little fuzzy but it makes the moment so much more intimate. He has your legs around his waist, water dripping off your bodies, your back against the shower wall. Your moans echo and bounce off the walls significantly louder, mixed with the sound of the shower.

He also has a few prized ones that he will guard with his life. Ones that would make him cum without touching himself.

“Smile for the camera my little slut” Bucky’s voice all you can hear, his phone focused on you while you lay on his bed, your hair messy and tousled, a thin sheen of sweat covering your body.

You blink up with doe eyes, your tongue darting up to lick up the cum dripping from your lips, his load covering your face. You run your finger through the mess he’s made, sucking it off, giving him an innocent giggle. Bucky groaned, panning the camera down to capture the way hes stroking his spent cock, growing hard again because you look so sexy covered in him.

“Got my dick all sensitive baby, made me cum so hard” He smirked, bringing his semi hard cock to your lips, pushing the tip for you to suckle on. “That’s it, my good girl, my little cum princess drinking up like a good girl”

You whined, still playing with the cum that covered you, letting him record the way you took his load, coating your fingers and fingering yourself, rubbing your clit after. Bucky spread your legs apart, capturing the way your fluttering pussy dripped onto the bed, your cream messy between your thighs. He makes you hold his phone so you can record the way he cleans the mess up, his chestnut hair between your legs, arms holding you down.

You can hardly focus on keeping the camera steady but you get every single minute of the way he moans and greedily licks up the mixed arousal pouring out of you. You nearly loose your mind at the way he lets his eyes roll back, telling you how perfect you taste together, crawling up to kiss you, making your more messy than before.

“Let’s make a sequel?”

Tags: @glxwingrxse @hungryyeyess @sebsgirl71479 @beabutterfly987 @teambarnes72 @witchywhore @jamesbuckybarneswify @slutforsexyseabass @chrisdrysdale @littlemarvelmenfan @buggy14 @whimsyplaty92 @sergntbarnes @inkedaztec @pono-pura-vida @moonlightreader649 @brooklynscherry-z @elle14-blog1 @justsebstan @littlelightnings @psychomanniac-blog @happyt0exist @emmabarnes @bethyruth @matchat3a @cjand10 @getwellsoontana @cherryschaos @lokisasgardianvampirequeen @ashenc-blog @buckybarnessimpp @potatothots @goldylions @high-functioning-lokipath @morganemorganite-blog @kingfleury @peaches1958 @spiderman-stilinski @peaceinourtime82 @gublur @wintersmelodie @geeky-politics-46 @lolawassad @almosttoopizza @a-poor-gryffindork @alternativeprincess @buckycallsmeaslut @kamaria-sweet-writes @charmedbysarge @xnorthstar3x @kryoee7 @alina02 @gh0stgurl @polishprincess999 @jessybarnes @alltheficsiwant @chemtrails-club @eralen @perdidosbucky-yyo @clqrosmgc

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navybrat817 · 1 year

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In His Hands

Pairing: Woodworker!Bucky Barnes x Female Reader Summary: Bucky's new project is his favorite one yet for a very special reason. Word Count: Over 2k Warnings: Fluff, implied sexual content, pregnancy, slight feels (it's me), minor flashback, canon divergent, Bucky Barnes (he's a warning, okay?). Graphics talent and thanks: Banner by @sgt-seabass. Divider by @firefly-graphics Bucky edit by Nix. Moodboard by yours truly. A/N: My first Connect 4 (C4007 - Square 2) / Into an Alternate Juneiverse for @buckybarnesevents! Set in Into the Woods AU and time jump from Valentine's Day Tradition, but can be read as a standalone.❤️ Beta read by the lovely @whisperlullaby, but any and all mistakes are my own. Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog for new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!

The buzz of the table saw echoed in the barn as Bucky carefully cut through the maple board, inspecting it to make sure it was even. He put a lot of thought and care into each project and design he created. Everything from cost to maintenance to longevity. His current project was especially close to his heart.

My favorite one yet.

After the fight, coming to grips with his trauma, everything, the city felt different. Bucky longed to have a simpler life. He unexpectedly found a bit of peace in the form of woodwork. Using his hands to build things, and not damage them, kept him busy and happy. But the thing that brought everything full circle was you.

His wife.

"Doll, I still can't believe you said yes."

"Who would say no to you, Jamie?"

He glanced at a photo of the two of you on the wall, still in disbelief that he got to wake up beside you every morning. He found it more and more difficult to get out of bed when he wanted to stay tangled up with you, but the bills wouldn't pay themselves and he had to work to get a paycheck. Lucky for him, his "office" was in the nearby barn. The yard was a decent size, too.

"Great place for a family one day, isn't it?"

"Just about perfect, doll."

Like Steve, he hadn't expected to love living a quiet life outside of the city, but he did. You made a beautiful home together and it wasn't that far of a drive if he wanted to visit. He wondered some days if he was living in a dream because things seemed too good to be true.

If so, he never wanted to wake up.

"Need you to be perfect," he said to himself as he cut another board.

He checked the design again, his eyes narrowed as he thought about how long it would take to finish. You gave him your seal of approval when he showed his idea and reminded him not to put too much pressure on himself. He had plenty of time to make it and other projects came first.

But he hadn't had a task as important as this one.

He removed his safety glasses when the sun shone through the window, giving the place a soothing glow and him a moment to pause and reflect. He made love to you that morning. There was no pain in his left shoulder. Steve planned to stop by this evening. It was just about a perfect day.

How is this my life?

"You know, I think that is going to be your best work yet."

Bucky turned his attention to where you stood in the doorway. He couldn't keep the smile off his face when he noticed you had one of his shirts on. You looked good in his clothes, always had. And seeing you enter a room still took his breath away. He didn't think he could love you more, but he did each day.

If I ever stop breathing from the sight of you, at least your face will be the last thing I see.

His gaze went to your stomach before he closed the distance between the two of you and placed his large hand on it. He hadn't built a crib, but he did his research to be sure he'd make the best and safest one possible. It would be something to hopefully pass on to future generations. Another tradition.

But first and foremost, it would belong to the baby.

Our baby.

"I'm just getting started, but I think you're right," Bucky said, sinking to his knees and kissing your belly. "Only the best for our little jellybean."

Most days he couldn't keep his hands off of you, but it got worse once he found out you were pregnant with his child. You were glowing, more than usual, and he was a moth drawn to the flame. Thankfully you didn't mind and let him indulge.

Your need matched his own.

He'd never forget the joy he felt when you told him you were pregnant. You often brought him snacks or lunch while he worked, but that day you brought him a small gift box, too. It wasn't his birthday or a special occasion, so he had no idea what it could possibly be. Inside were two positive pregnancy tests. He almost dropped them, too stunned to speak. His heart almost burst through his chest when he saw the happy tears in your eyes.

"We're having a baby, Bucky. You're going to be a dad!"

It took a minute to sink in. You were having his baby. He was going to be a dad. You were giving him a family. A life he had only dreamt of.

'I still have to see a doctor, but-"

His mouth came down on yours before you could finish what you had to say, his massive hands framing your face so he could deepen the kiss. He poured his love, passion, soul, everything into it. He took you right there on one of his empty work tables, his left hand on your stomach the entire time.

"I love you, doll. Love you both so much."

He brought you back to the house and made love to you all over again, taking his time to worship you. He didn't get any work done the rest of the day. It was worth it.

"How are you feeling?" he asked, concern filling his eyes when you yawned.

He always checked on you during his breaks to make sure you felt okay, even when you insisted that he didn't need to. Days like this when you visited the barn first, he still had to ask. Any discomfort or pains, he wanted to know and help however he could.

"Just fine," you assured him, tucking a few strands of hair that came loose from his ponytail behind his ear. Just like he couldn't stop touching you, you always found an excuse to run your fingers through his long, brown locks since he grew it back out. "A bit tired, but fine."

"You're not wearing your mama out, are you?" he asked your belly. He pressed his ear against it and felt a slight kick, as if he got an answer. "Good because she needs rest. She has enough to deal with taking care of me."

"We take care of each other," you said.

Bucky wanted to believe that. You had a good set-up in the city before the two of you decided to move and he worried you'd regret going with him. You reminded him that you were still going to work from home and it was a choice you made together.

Partners. Equals. Soulmates.

"Yes, we do," he said fondly, focusing on your stomach again. "But can you believe she had the nerve to ask if we should buy you a crib? Like she forgot I could make you one. Don't hold it against her, jellybean. Hormones and baby brain."

"Bucky!" you scolded before you laughed.

He chuckled as he kissed your stomach a second time. "I'm kidding. Kind of. I did have to drive all over town the other day to find the potato chips she wanted."

Bucky would drive to the ends of the earth to satisfy any craving you had.

"Hey. Our baby is the one asking for them and it was the only flavor that would provide any satisfaction," you defended yourself. "And I balanced it out with fruit, so everyone wins."

"Yes we do and I'm glad. I need you both nice and healthy," he said as he stood up.

"We're both fine. You know that," you smiled.

He hadn't missed a single appointment, wanting to be there every step of the way. Listening to his baby's heartbeat was like hearing his favorite song again for the first time. He actually waved at the screen when you had your sonogram. And he swore the baby waved back.

Bucky also bought a few books on babies and parenthood. While he knew some life lessons couldn't be learned from a book, he wanted to be prepared. You supported him in that and baby proofing the house in advance.

Your only request was that you didn't want to know what you were having, which he agreed to.

It would be a beautiful surprise for both of you.

"Need you both safe, too," he added.

"We are safe," you said, glancing around. "Our home is safe. You don't need to worry."

Bucky tried not to. Your home was secure and he kept a clean and safe shop in the barn, but he didn't want to take a risk by having you too close to any of the tools or get irritated by the dust. The only table he let you touch was the empty one where he made love to you. Maybe that was why it was still empty.

"I guess you're right," he said, brushing his lips against your forehead. "You know if we have a girl, I'm never letting her out of my sight."

"Oh, I know," you giggled, putting your hand on his wide chest. Feeling the wedding band through his shirt was one of his favorite things. "And if we have a boy, you'll teach him to be a gentleman. Though I imagine he'll probably be just like you."

"Hey, I am a gentleman, ma'am," he smiled.

"Mmm. You keep telling yourself that," you teased.

Bucky hoped they took after you. Kind, but fierce. Loving and fair. Whether he had a daddy's girl or a mini version of himself, he just wanted to have a special place in their heart.

"And you really don't mind that I'm making the crib, do you?"

"Of course, I don't," you said, frowning. He immediately kissed your lips to make it disappear. "Why?"

"Just making sure," he said, rubbing your belly. The source of comfort from such a small gesture amazed him. "I think I just feel better knowing our baby is truly in my hands."

It was silly, but Bucky thought if he made the crib that it would be like he was holding your child as he or she slept. That no matter what, they would be safe and cared for. Surrounded by familiarity and warmth.

Your baby deserved that and more.

"I think that's a beautiful thing," you assured him, placing a hand over his. "You work so hard for us and I know our baby will one day appreciate that you built them something with your heart and hands."

His hands, like the rest of him, were massive and strong. A man his size was meant to destroy, which he did in battle and worse. He also proved that he was meant to create. His size never intimidated you. In fact, you once said that one of many things that made him special was how deceptively gentle he could be.

That the only ruin he would bring you with his touch would make you whole again.

In my hands, you'll always be loved.

"I'll always work hard for my family," he promised.

He hadn't told you yet, but he planned to build a rocking chair for the nursery, too. He wanted it to be a surprise. He could already picture the two of you sitting in it with a soft blanket to keep you warm.

The image made his heart swell.

"And if I have my way, we'll have one more. Jellybean could use a companion."

"Now you sound just like Steve. Both of you wanting to keep your best girls knocked up," you smiled, sliding your hands up his muscular arms to his shoulders. "You think you'll convince me?"

"I don't think. I know," he smirked, kissing you before you could argue.

As excited as Bucky was for the next part in your journey together, he was also afraid. He knew he'd be a good father, but not a perfect one. He'd make mistakes and stumble along the way. He wouldn't always have the answer. What he did know was that he was going to give his child unconditional love and care.

Starting with the crib built with his heart and hands.

Bucky is going to be an amazing dad, right? And how about Steve? Love and thanks for reading! 💙

Masterlist ⚓ Bucky Barnes Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi

#navybrat writes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x y/n #connect4au #woodworker!bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes #woodworker!bucky barnes #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes imagine #into the woods au #bucky barnes x f!reader #sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan x female reader #sebastian stan x you

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dharmasharks · 2 months

Text

Always you

Mature | Steve x Bucky | 8K

Part 3 of Other stars but all parts can be read as a standalone.

Major tags: Canon Divergence - Steve and Bucky find each other in the 50s, Steve Never Gets the Serum but Still Joins the SSR, Bucky Still Becomes the Winter Soldier, Cold War, Established Relationship, On the Run, Bucky Barnes Recovering, Devotion, Hurt/Comfort, Non-linear Narrative

Summary:

“Bucky,” Steve groans. “This isn’t the kind of talk I meant.”

Bucky scoots in closer on the mattress so he can tangle their legs together.

“What kind of talk should we be having?”

“You know.” Steve’s grave blue eyes hold his. “You know what kind I mean.”

—

Steve, Bucky, and the same choice made again and again (and again).

Read on ao3 >

Fills @stuckybingo Round 5 February Adoptable: Déjà Vu All Over Again

#my fic #other stars verse #cold war shrinkyclinks AU #stucky #steve x bucky #stucky fic #shrinkyclinks

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dc-marvel-crossovers · 1 month

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Crossover Fanworks Celebration Masterlist

Thanks so much to everybody who participated! We're still waiting for a couple late entries, but here's the wrap-up of all the fics that were fanworked and their related works. You can find the Ao3 collection right over here.

It seems like everybody involved had a great time, so it's very likely that this will be a repeating event. If you'd like to join in on the next one, follow us here and/or send us a message about joining our Discord!

Knaves All Three by @ginbenci: gen, focused on Steve Rogers, Bruce Wayne, Matt Murdock, Foggy Nelson, and Tony Stark. Funny comedy-of-errors identity porn. 7922 words, rated T.

All Three Knaves by @o-kaythislooksbad

Playlist by @bittercape

Third Wheel by @kangofu-cb: Jason Todd/Bucky Barnes/Clint Barton. Established Bucky/Clint. Roleplay gone hilariously awry leads to a hot-as-hell threesome. 10,776 words, explicit.

Sequel by @carcrash429

Bookbinding by @moonshinebindery

Remix by @there-must-be-a-lock

Playlist by @capriciouswrites

Won’t You Stay Awhile? (I’m Staring At A Ghost) by @daddyswickedqueen: Jason Todd/Steve Rogers. Steve gets picked up (and flustered) in a dive bar; sexy, but also a great look at both characters. 5022 words, explicit.

Podfic by @betrayedbycinnamon

Remix by @sammialex

Sequel by @darbydoo22

Moodboard by @drgrlfriend

Snow On The Beach by @bittercape: Jason Todd/Bucky Barnes/Clint Barton. Interconnected vignettes of a developing relationship — some funny, some fluffy, some smutty, and some all of the above. 13,181 words, range from T to explicit.

Art by @o-kaythislooksbad

More art by @o-kaythislooksbadkay

Timestamp by @betrayedbycinnamon

Spider and Bat Friends by @emmacortana: mostly gen. A series of standalone fics about Peter Parker in Gotham. Mixed bag with something for everybody: some wildly creative crack, some angst, and more. 170,897 words total, mostly rated T.

Podfic by @graham-cracker-guillotine

Art by @wyxan

The Stockings Were Hung by @betrayedbycinnamon: Jason Todd/Bucky Barnes and background /Clint Barton. Christmas lingerie, insecure Jason, and a tender, reassuring Bucky. 3945 words, explicit.

Remix by @darbydoo22

Moodboard by @kangofu-cb

Sunrise On The East Side by @wyxan: Tim Drake/Peter Parker/Michelle Jones, established Peter/MJ. Spilled coffee + endearingly awkward Peter; luckily MJ is a boss and very comfortable doing something about his crush on Tim. 8816 words, explicit.

Remix by @there-must-be-a-lock

Podfic by @noxnthea

Finders Keepers by @drgrlfriend: Jason Todd/Bucky Barnes/Clint Barton. Adorable “meet-ugly” courtesy of animal friends. Clint and Jason aren’t used to romance, and Bucky decides to change that. 3081 words, rated T.

Art by @bittercape

Podfic by @daddyswickedqueen

Remix by TheologyDiscography

Moodboards by @there-must-be-a-lock

What's in the name by @graham-cracker-guillotine: Peter Parker & Bruce Wayne centric. Feel-good fluff and humor. 2142 words, rated G.

Podfic by @carcrash429

Art by @o-kaythislooksbad

blood upon the snow by @carcrash429: One fic is Clint Barton/Bucky Barnes; others are gen, focused mainly on Clint and Dick Grayson, with appearances by Natasha, Roy, and others. Fae Clint fantasy AU with great world-building. 11,900 words, rated T.

Art by @o-kaythislooksbad

Podfic by @noxnthea

Moodboards by @there-must-be-a-lock

can't start a fire without a spark by @mightymightygnomepriest: Frank Castle/Jason Todd. Frank saves a puppy and gets caught in the rain. Soft and sweet and sexy. 3468 words, explicit.

Remix by @daddyswickedqueen

Sequel by @bittercape

getting better in the worst way by @o-kaythislooksbad: gen, featuring characters from Moon Knight, Doom Patrol, Teen Titans, Hulk, and Venom. Creative canon mashup with characters that don’t get a lot of representation in fic. 80,064 words, rated T.

Moodboards by @there-must-be-a-lock

Hawksnest by TheologyDiscography: Jason Todd/Clint Barton. Post-Under The Red Hood friends-to-lovers with a fun twist on Clint’s story. 3359 words, rated T.

Podfic by CainPods

Sequel by @o-kaythislooksbad

Marshmallow Crime Lords by @noxnthea and @there-must-be-a-lock: Jason Todd/Bucky Barnes/Clint Barton, but the relationship isn’t the focus; lots of BatFamily shenanigans and fluff. 46,440 words, rated T.

Remix by @bill-longbow

Sequel by @bittercape

Art by @wyxan

Podfic by @flowerparrish

Playlist by @carcrash429

If It's A Highway by @there-must-be-a-lock: Jason Todd/Bucky Barnes, Lost Days/post-CA:TWS canon fusion. 77,122 words, explicit.

Timestamp by @bill-longbow

Art by @wyxan

#marvel #dc #dc marvel crossover #crossover #crossover fanworks celebration #art #fic rec list #podfic #jason todd #clint barton #bucky barnes #peter parker #bruce wayne #tony stark #steve rogers #frank castle #winterhawkhood #dc/marvel

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drabbles-mc · 1 year

Text

Do You Need Someone?

Bucky Barnes x F!Soldier!Reader

Summary: In the aftermath of finally getting control over his own mind, Bucky tries to start building a normal life for himself. Just like any soldier coming back from the war, he needs a helping hand with it all.

Warnings: 18+, angst, language, PTSD, mentions of war/violence, hospitals

For the Alternate June-iverse Event Prompt: therapist

Word Count: 4.9k

A/N: I love the idea of instead of Bucky getting funneled right into Avengers things when he gets his mind back, he just gets to be a "normal" vet. This AU was so much fun to write but I was a fool to think that I could pack everything that I wanted to do with it into one story, so there will definitely be more installments of this as time goes on. However, I feel like this is a good kickstart to it and could be a standalone if I let it be. It's also my first Bucky readerfic! What a time! Hope you enjoy! Also, shout-out to @buckybarnesevents for hosting this event! xo

MCU Taglist: @garbinge @artemiseamoon (If you want to be added to any of my taglists, please let me know!)

Bucky stared up at the towering concrete walls that made up the outside of the hospital. It felt so strange to show up here after everything. It felt too normal after all that he’d been through. But, if he was going to try and scrape together any semblance of a normal life, he supposed that this wasn’t the worst place to start. This hospital was one of the few in the area that worked directly with the VA, so that’s where Sam had sent him.

He looked down at the screen of his phone, looking over all of the information for his initial appointment here. Today was just supposed to be about getting set up with a doctor, specifically one who knew a good deal about prosthetics. What he had was going to be above most people’s paygrades, but he tried to be optimistic about it all.

Once he was inside and made his way to the elevator, he hit the button for the floor the woman at the front desk had given him. It was only a few floors up but the trip up felt like it took much longer than it should’ve. Finally, there was the singular ding that let Bucky know he had finally gotten to his destination. He strode off the elevator, trying his best to weave through the people getting on without bumping into them. He fought the urge to pull his baseball cap farther down over his face—old habits die hard.

“How can I help you today?” the woman at the desk greeted him

He cleared his throat, stuffing his hands into his pockets. “I’m supposed to have an appointment?”

She nodded, fingers flying across the keyboard. “Name?”

“Buc—” he stopped himself short, “James. Barnes.”

He could’ve sworn he saw something flicker across her face, but it was gone before he could think too much on it. Looking up from her screen and back at him, she smiled and nodded before handing him a clipboard. “Fill this out for me, please. Feel free to take a seat in the waiting area. Your doctor will be with you shortly.”

Bucky found a chair towards the back of the waiting room, one that situated him without anyone sitting right next to him. No one there really seemed to be paying him any mind, but he still felt like all eyes were on him. He tapped the pen against the edge of the clipboard in his lap as he read over the sheet in front of him.

It didn’t take him long to fill out the form. Most of his information had been sent to the hospital already. But all of the questions wanting to get into more details of the reason for his visits, any symptoms or things that he was struggling with that he wanted to discuss more in depth with his doctor, felt like they were trick questions at worst, essay questions at best. He did his best to keep it short and sweet—part of him had to assume that whatever doctor landed his case had to know what they were getting into. If nothing else, he knew that Sam would’ve at least made sure of that.

When he was done filling it out, he brought it back up to the front desk before promptly going and finding his seat again. He took the time to study everyone around him a little closer. He’d taken vague note of everyone when he first arrived, that was a habit he didn’t think that he would ever shake, but now he really tried to study them all.

There was such a range of people. There were a lot of younger people, people that were fighting wards that Bucky hadn’t even really had the time to fully learn about yet. He also noticed the few older people who were in the waiting room too, people who looked the way that Bucky would if he’d had any sort of a normal trajectory in life after the war. He tried not to think too hard about it—he had enough things clogging up his mind for the time being.

Like a saving grace, the sound of his name put a stop to his spiraling thoughts. “Barnes?”

“Yea,” the word came out before he thought better of it. He was instantly standing up out of his seat, grabbing his backpack off the floor as he went.

The appointment wasn’t as daunting as Bucky had been making it out to be in his head. The doctor gave him a general checkup, but most of what they did was talk. They talked about treatment plans for old injuries that never really healed properly, about what the strategy was going to be for care when it came to his arm.

“I think,” his doctor said as she set her clipboard off to the side, “the thing that’s going to be most helpful for you, though, is finding someone that you can talk to.” She saw the slight panic on Bucky’s face at the mere thought of it. “I can help you with all of the physical things, but I’m not the most qualified to help coach you through coping with everything that you’ve been through. We have some great psychiatrists here and—”

“I don’t wanna be catatonic because someone decided I need to be on a bunch of meds,” he said, cutting her off with a tone that wasn’t loud, but it was firm.

She took it in stride, simply giving an understanding nod. “I completely understand that. We also have a really great team of counselors who do group and individual therapy sessions. I think that you would benefit a lot from shopping around and finding someone that you feel comfortable talking with.” She paused, seeing the hesitation still on his face. “I can’t make you book an appointment with someone, James, but I really think that you should consider it. Getting your body working well is all fine and good, but your brain has undergone just as much trauma as your body.”

He shifted uncomfortably on the bed in the exam room, the paper crinkling beneath him. “Right.”

The doctor stood up and went to the wall where they had rows of pamphlets. Trailing her fingers along a few of them, she scanned until she found the one she’d been looking for. Plucking it from the holder, she stepped back over and handed it to Bucky.

“Like I said, I’m not here to force you. But here are the doctors here and the services they provide. The front desk can also give you an updated schedule for group therapy sessions that are held here.”

He took the pamphlet from her, still unsure of whether or not he planned on even looking at all of the names let alone calling any of the people to schedule an appointment. Still, he nodded and tucked it into his backpack. “Thank you.”

She gave a nod and took a step towards the door, a silent signal for Bucky that he was now free to go. His body relaxed a little bit as he stood up from the bed and slung his bag onto his shoulders again. She pulled the door open and allowed him to walk through first, letting him know to stop by the front desk to schedule their next appointment before he left.

Once he stopped by the desk to make his next appointment, he started to make his way back towards the elevator. He was looking down, pulling his phone out of his pocket when he felt someone accidentally bump against his shoulder. He tensed up, caught off-guard, but when he saw the frazzled and apologetic look on your face, his annoyance faded a little bit.

“Sorry,” you said, shaking your head at yourself. “Wasn’t looking where I was going…obviously.” You offered a tiny, awkward smile.

He shrugged, tone neutral as he said, “It’s okay.”

“Was running late for group and then I got off on the wrong floor before I got here. So, you know,” you reached up and dragged your hands down your face in exasperation, “just having one of those days.”

“Group?” he asked, noticing the dog tags that were hanging around your neck.

“Yea. Oh,” you paused, looking him over, trying to figure out if you’d seen him before and forgotten, “is that where you’re heading too?”

His eyes widened and he shook his head. “N-no. I just, um,” he motioned back towards the hall with the exam rooms, causing you to see the silver metal of his hand and arm, “just had an appointment. Doc mentioned something about groups here though.”

“You wanna come check it out?” Your smile grew a little warmer. “They might take it easy on me for being late if I bring a friend.”

His brows furrowed for a moment. “I don’t think I can just, I don’t have an appointment. Or a therapist.”

You shook your head at him. “It’s fine. They won’t turn you away.”

Bucky didn’t believe much in fate, but this felt fate-adjacent. He knew that if he walked out of the hospital, there was no way that he was going to look into things and find his own therapist and go through that hassle.

You could see him debating it all in his head. “If you’re not feeling it, you can just get up and leave. No harm, no foul.”

He hesitated for a moment longer before finally giving a small nod. “Okay.”

You nodded, not wanting to make a big deal over it and make him more uncomfortable. “Great! Follow me.” The two of you fell into stride with each other. You were a few doors away from the room you needed to be in when you asked him, “Sorry, what’s your name? Forgot to ask before I wrangled you into going to therapy with me.”

The sound of your laugh got him to give a hint of a smile. “I’m James.”

You nodded, giving your name in return. “Nice to meet you, James.”

When the two of you walked into the room, all eyes went to you for a moment. It was only fair, since you did show up late. No one looked annoyed. You being a few minutes late was the least of anyone’s problems.

Your counselor, the one who ran the group, was a man who was about ten years older than you. He’d been the therapist you’d been working with ever since you came back from your second deployment. You considered yourself to be extremely lucky that you got along with one of the first therapists you’d seen, because you knew that a lot of people didn’t have that experience.

However, because of your good rapport with him, he was the first and only one to give you grief about being late. “Nice of you to join us,” he said it with a smile, no malice in his voice.

“I know I’m late, Doc,” you didn’t even try to argue, “but I did pick up a straggler.”

There was a moment of silence as Bucky and your counselor both looked at each other. It was clear that Bucky was sizing the man up, and your doctor was content to let him. He broke the silence. “Happy to have you.” He gestured to the few empty chairs that were left. “There are no bad seats, so pick any one you want.”

Since you were the one who had essentially talked him into coming to group in the first place, you made sure that the two of you at least managed to get seats that were right next to each other. It didn’t take someone with a doctorate to see that Bucky didn’t really want to talk. So, thankfully, no one tried to make him.

As the minutes ticked by, part of you was waiting for him to just get up and leave. You were pleasantly surprised when he didn’t, though. It was evident that he wasn’t fully comfortable, and no one could really blame him for that. But he was watching and listening intently as different people spoke up and shared what they’d been struggling with, what they had going on. He sat, his backpack between his feet and one elbow propped against each knee as he took it all in.

You felt his eyes on you when you took a turn to speak. You talked about how you had trouble sleeping, that your nightmares weren’t as frequent as they used to be but they would still happen every now and again and make it impossible for you to even attempt to fall back to sleep after the fact. You mentioned that you didn’t take your sleeping meds anymore because you figured out that they were making your nightmares worse. You were looking at the tile floor as you spoke, but you could hear your counselor taking notes on what you were saying. He did it for everyone in group, stuff to circle back to or bring up in individual sessions.

It wasn’t long after that, that group came to a close. You didn’t know why, but you were glad to see that the man beside you had stayed for the whole thing. Sure, you didn’t know him, but you didn’t have to know him to know that everyone needed a bit of help when it came to stuff like this. Group was a decent place to start.

People were starting to filter out when you and Bucky stood up from your seats. You turned to look over at him, watching as he put his backpack back on. “Not horrible, right?” you said with a laugh.

The tiny smile he gave didn’t quite reach his eyes, but it was still something. “Not horrible. Thanks, um, you know, for the invite.”

You shook your head. “Don’t gotta thank me.”

Before either of you could say anything else, your counselor materialized beside the two of you. He looked back and forth between the two of you, a content smile on his face. He addressed you first, thanking you for coming and sharing, before turning to Bucky. He held out his hand. “Sorry I didn’t get a real chance to introduce myself earlier. I’m Dr. Anderson.”

Bucky nodded as he firmly shook the man’s hand. “I’m James. Sorry for just showing up.”

“No need to apologize—that’s how a lot of people start off here. I hope to see you back again if you can make it.”

Bucky brought his hands up to his chest, holding the straps of his backpack, clearly not sure how to navigate the rest of the interaction. “Thanks.”

Dr. Anderson turned to you as he started to walk away. “And I’ll see you…”

“Friday, yes.” You laughed. “On time.”

He chuckled. “On time.”

It was just you and Bucky now as you started to walk towards the door that would land you back out in the hallway of the hospital. You both seemed content to walk next to each other, neither of you saying anything about the group session, or anything else. You walked side by side all the way to the elevator.

“First floor?”

He nodded. “Yea.”

As the elevator started to go down, you said, “If I didn’t already hijack most of your evening, I would say we could go grab food or coffee or something and talk if you wanted. But I get it if you want to just get home, or do whatever it was you were planning on doing before I ran you over.”

Bucky huffed out a quiet chuckle. “Thanks.”

The elevator doors opened up and you both walked towards the main entrance and exit of the hospital. You didn’t know what to say at this point. It wasn’t like you were friends—there wasn’t even a guarantee that you would ever even see him again. You figured that telling him to have a good one would have to suffice.

Right as you stepped out onto the sidewalk, you were going to say just that, but he beat you to the punch with a completely different statement. “Are these every week? Or…?”

Your face brightened at the question. “Yea! I mean, Anderson holds his every Wednesday, and usually he’ll do one extra evening at some point during the week as well in case people can’t make the Wednesday one. But other doctors hold them at different times on different days.”

“Right,” he said with a nod.

“Wanna come back next week?” you offered.

“Uh, yea, yea okay.”

“Great!” You paused. “Oh, would you, um, do you want my number? In case you have any questions or anything?”

His eyes widened a bit at your question, clearly not having expected that to be the next thing you said. Still, he nodded, if out of bewilderment than anything else. “Okay.”

He dug his phone out of his pocket and handed it over to you. You quickly added your name and number to his contacts and handed the phone back to him. “Anything comes up, feel free to text or call or whatever.”

“Thank you.” He said, eyes looking at your contact listing in his phone.

“No problem! I’ll see you next week.”

“See you.”

The week went by faster than Bucky had thought it would. Trying to figure out what it was like to just be a regular person after everything that happened was more time consuming than he thought it was going to be. He didn’t know how he simultaneously felt like he wasn’t doing anything at all, while also being so busy all the time. If it hadn’t been for the alarm on his phone, he would’ve completely forgotten that it was already time for group again.

His second session went by much like his first. He didn’t really talk. At least this time he got the chance to introduce himself. Still, he did more listening than anything else. He sat next to you again, the two of you making small talk before and after the group session.

And that was how it went for the next couple weeks. He’d say a few words here and there during sessions sometimes, but he was never one to have much of a monologue. You could tell that he was still fighting to get comfortable with the idea of sharing, but at least he was still showing up. That meant something—you of all people would know. Each week that went by, you always offered to grab a bite or some coffee when group was over, and every week he always found a kind way to say no. You didn’t take it personally—he didn’t seem like the type to be much of a social butterfly.

That was why, when the fourth week rolled around and you didn’t see Bucky there, you were a little worried but not too much. No one was held to the standard of having to show up every week. You just did it because you knew that you needed it. He was probably just busy.

When group ended and you checked your phone, you saw a text from an unknown number. Normally, your automatic reaction was just to delete them. But when you read the preview of the message in your notification bar, you had a pretty good idea of who it was.

“Sorry I didn’t make it tonight. Can I still cash in on the offer to get coffee?” You were about to start typing out a response when a second text came in. “This is James btw”

For some reason that caused more concern than him not showing up did. You instantly replied, “Of course. Got a place in mind?”

A few texts later the two of you had settled on a spot. It was within walking distance of the hospital, and it had you wondering if it was also within walking distance of his apartment, or maybe he was coming from somewhere else entirely.

When you walked through the door of the diner, the first thing that you did was look around to see if he was already there. Sure enough, he was sitting at one of the booths in the back of the restaurant. He had the same baseball cap as usual on, pulled down so that it was covering most of his face. He still had his hoodie and jacket on, so either he hadn’t been there long or he just hadn’t been comfortable enough to take them off.

You made your way back to the booth where he was sitting, sliding in across from him. When his eyes snapped up to yours, you could see the exhaustion all over his face. You tried not to let your expression falter too much as you got situated. “Hey, James.” You paused for a moment. “Everything, um, everything okay?”

The answer seemed obvious but you figured that he wasn’t going to come right out and say anything without asking. He nodded, picking at the edge of the napkin in front of him. “Long day.”

You nodded slowly. “I get that. Do you…do you wanna talk about it?”

He shook his head. “Not really.”

That was about what you had expected. “Okay.” There was a brief pause in your conversation as the waitress stopped at your table, asking for your order and taking right off again when you asked for two coffees. When she was gone, you picked right back up where you’d left off. “Want to listen to me talk?”

He looked up at you at the sound of that question. It wasn’t what he had been expecting. Still, he found himself nodding.

You gave a warm smile as you leaned forward, bracing your arms against the edge of the table between you. “Want me to talk about group stuff? Or not group stuff?”

He gnawed at his bottom lip, considering the question for a moment before finally answering, “Group stuff.”

“So, let me think.” You lightly drummed your fingers on the tabletop. “You already know about my rampant insomnia and occasional night terrors,” you made light of your own struggles to cope with it, and if nothing else you hoped that he would at least find you to be an amusing distraction from whatever was bothering him, “but I’ve never actually talked about what landed me in group with Dr. Anderson, have I?”

Bucky shook his head. “No.”

“It’s not, you know,” you hesitated for a moment, “it’s not like what you’ve been through per se.” There was no point in pretending that you hadn’t learned about who he was in the last month of seeing him at the hospital every week. “But, I was getting towards the end of my second tour. I was thinking about extending it, coming back for a third. You know how it goes. Can’t…can’t leave the war once you’re in it. I only had a couple weeks left, which felt like no time at all and also the longest fourteen days possible. We were on our way back to base one night when our vehicle got hit. Came outta fucking nowhere.” You shook your head. “There were six of us packed in there, only two of us made it out. It was…it was a mess.”

The words, “I’m sorry,” were on the tip of Bucky’s tongue, but if anyone knew how useless apologies were, it was him.

You pushed up the sleeve of your hoodie that was covering your right arm, revealing a pattern of scarring that Bucky instantly recognized as burn scars. “Not quite as cool as a metal arm,” you joked despite the tears starting to sting at your eyes, “but you know, some chicks still dig it.”

The conversation was halted again when your waitress reappeared with coffees for both of you. She was about to ask if you were ready to order anything else when she saw the looks on both of your faces. Reading the room, she said, “I’ll be back in a few minutes for your orders.”

Sniffling and blinking the tears away, you reached for a few packets of sugar to tear and pour into your coffee. “So, as you can imagine, I was a little unwell after all of that. Didn’t even finish out my last two weeks. Got sent home, and got funneled right into the VA hospital. I’ve worked with Dr. Anderson ever since. He now has me on a strict regimen of three sessions a week—one group, two individual.”

Bucky’s eyes widened slightly at that. “Wow.”

You shrugged, taking a sip of your coffee. “It’s a lot, but I need it. It’s, you know, it’s good for me.”

“It helps?” he asked.

You nodded with no hesitation. “It does. I know I still talk about having trouble sleeping and stuff, but when I first came home they pretty much had to sedate me. It was,” you let out a hollow laugh, “it was not good. If I didn’t have him, and some other really good doctors with good meds to level me out, I don’t think I’d still be here.”

The two of you sat in silence for a minute, letting the weight of your words hang in the air between you. Bucky had wondered in passing what had happened, the same way anyone would. If you hadn’t offered it up, though, he never would’ve asked.

Clearing your throat, you said, “You should eat something.” You took another sip of your coffee. “I know I’m going to.”

A small smile tried to curl the ends of his mouth. He knew that at this point you were probably assuming that he hadn’t eaten all day, and you were right. When the waitress came back over, you each placed an order before getting back to your conversation.

“I know it’s hard to think that things are gonna get better,” you told him honestly, “especially after everything you went through, but it will.”

“This your way of telling me not to miss group next week?” he asked before taking a sip of his coffee.

You laughed and shook your head. “No, no. I mean, I enjoy having you in group. I just,” you paused for a moment, “I’m not gonna pretend to know what happened today, or what you’ve gone through, but I’d hate to see anyone give up.”

“I don’t think that I can just tell everyone about everything. How do you get comfortable with that?”

You shook your head. “I don’t tell everyone everything. There’s a lot of shit that I only discuss one-on-one with Anderson. Some stuff I only talk about with my friend who went through it with me. The stuff I talk about in group is just what I’m comfortable discussing there.”

He nodded, the furrow in his brow deepening as he mulled over what you said. “Right.”

The waitress brought your orders over setting them down and promptly walking away again, realizing that the two of you were still very much involved in an intense conversation.

“You just need to find one person to start with,” you told him.

“Like a therapist?” he said, a bit of a joking sarcastic lilt to his voice.

You laughed, shrugging. “Yea. Or a friend.”

You noticed the way that those last three words gave him pause as he stared across the table at you. You gave him the illusion of privacy as you kept your eyes fixed on your plate. When a few more seconds of silence went by, you looked back up at him, only to find him still looking at you with an expression that you couldn’t quite figure out. Regardless, there was a smile on your face that was warm enough to let him know that you were alright as long as he was.

After a few more minutes of silence with the two of you eating, he said, “I didn’t recognize where I was when I woke up this morning.” He waited to see your reaction, but when you didn’t flinch at his statement, he continued. “It was my apartment, but I didn’t…at first…I thought…”

“And then once you realized, you didn’t want to leave.”

He nodded once. “Yea.”

“That…that happen a lot?”

“Not a lot. More than it should.”

“You made it here, though.”

He scoffed, frustrated with himself. “Only took me—”

You cut him off, “But you did it. That’s progress.”

Some of the tension melted out of his shoulders as he conceded with a nod. The two of you went back to eating after that, exchanging an occasional remark here and there, but for the most part just soaking up the comfort between you.

You tried to pay for the meal, but Bucky insisted, so you let him have that. The two of you walked out together, lingering on the sidewalk once you were outside.

“I’m glad you reached out,” you told him with a nod as you stuffed your hands into the pockets of your jeans.

Embarrassment flashed across his face for a moment but he agreed, “Me too. Thanks, you know, for this.”

You smiled. “Any time.” There was a pause and then you asked, “I’ll see you next Wednesday?”

He chuckled and nodded. “Next Wednesday, yea.”

“Good. Take care of yourself, alright?”

“You too.”

You laughed. “I will. Goodnight, James.”

“Goodnight.” He watched as you turned and went to walk down the sidewalk towards your own apartment. You got a couple steps away before he finally got himself to say your name and get your attention. When you turned back around to face him, he hesitated for a moment before saying, “Bucky. My, my friends call me Bucky.”

A warm feeling washed over you as you took in the weight of what he’d just said. You smiled as you amended your previous statement, “Goodnight, Bucky.”

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