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#bruce is so stupid
embracedbythesea · 2 years
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I can't. Really, I can't with this man
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ikiprian · 1 month
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Mr. Fenton is a competent teacher. Almost too competent.
If Mr. Daniel Fenton had any more than a BS (with a minor in education), Tim would’ve flagged his profile as a potential Rogue. That’s the way of most charismatic academics, at least in Gotham. (Got a PhD? Instant watchlist.) Instead, he’s Gotham Academy’s newest celebrity, as a young, passionate, out-of-towner substitute while the chemistry teacher’s on maternity leave.
Tim gets the hype. Fenton seems to genuinely love teaching, and is invested in the welfare of the student body. He hands out bananas during exam week, hosts a “study habits seminar” each month to coach effective learning strategies, and the third time Tim falls asleep in his class, he even pulls Tim aside to ask if he’s doing okay. With all the late work he accepts and the protein bars he sneaks Tim, he’s every teen vigilante’s dream teacher. He could’ve been Tim’s favorite.
In fact, Mr. Fenton was Tim’s favorite. Up until Tim walks into Mr. Fenton’s chemistry classroom for a forgotten textbook, an hour after the final bell.
On the board where tallied scores for today’s review game had been kept, “THE CHEMISTRY BEHIND DR. CRANE’S FEAR GAS: ANXIOGENICS, NERI’S, & YOU,” is now scrawled. A detailed diagram of the human endocrine system projects in front of a small crowd of adoring and attentive students.
Fenton is wrist-deep in the skull cavity of an anatomical model. A short tug, and out pops the brain.
It’s plastic. It’s fake.
Tim identifies the nearest emergency exit.
Fenton turns to the door, and in the dark classroom with the projector illuminating half his face, his eyes almost seem to flash red. “What’s up, Tim?” he asks. His friendly grin is too big for his face. “I didn’t know you wanted to join the Just Science League!”
[OR: Danny’s a science teacher at Tim’s school. Gotham’s a pretty wild place, even for someone who grew up a superhero in a ghost-infested town, so he takes it upon himself to start a club teaching kids how to manage themselves in the event of a crisis. These Gothamites are pretty hardy, but a little extra training never hurt anybody! And he suspects one of his students might be a teen vigilante, like he’d been, back in the day. As a senior super, it's Danny’s duty look out for him! Surely, this is the subtlest and most appropriate way to give the kid pointers.]
[Tim immediately assumes supervillain.]
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ochibrochi · 3 months
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guilty conscience 😬 (i watched legion of superheroes movie)
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deadsetobsessions · 2 months
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“Did this place pick up a ghost when I was dead or something?”
Tim whipped his head towards Jason, who looked mildly perturbed.
“You too?!” Tim demanded.
“What?”
“The ghost! I kept thinking it was a hallucination, you know? But even when I laid off of the caffeine, there’d be a fucking shadow at the edge of my vision! At night! You saw it too, right?” Tim rambled, increasingly agitated. “It even moves the fucking coffee mugs! I know where I left my favorite mug, and it sure as hell wasn’t in the sink!”
Jason blinked at him, face morphing into concern.
“Replacement, when was the last time you got some sleep?”
Tim inhaled. “Jason, I swear to god I will replace all of the shampoo in your twenty six safe houses with glitter glue if you don’t tell me whether you saw it or not.”
Jason nodded immediately. In his defense, Tim grew up to be a scary motherfucker. Diabolical little shit would have been a fucking terrifying villain.
“I knew it.”
——
Danny hummed. Tim was going to freak when he found his cowl three inches to the left.
He merrily avoided all of the set up cameras by simply going invisible and intangible, save for his arms that he uses to sweep the cowl to the side.
He could hear the static on the cameras. Danny grinned. Operation Gaslight, Ghostkeep, Girlboss is on.
——
“Tim-” Dick started, only to be cut short by Tim whirling around and jabbing a painful finger into his chest.
“You owe me this, for that Arkham comment when B went missing.”
Dick raised his hands in surrender, guilt flaring.
“Drake, what kind of pointless scheme are you getting us in, now?”
“Not now, demon brat.” Jason elbows the kid. “Just go along with it.”
“Look.”
“Well. I guess we were right, yeah, Tim?” Duke muttered, eyeing the moved cowl. “My ghost-sight isn’t seeing anything. Not even wind movement.”
“What’s going on, boys?”
“B, there’s a ghost in the manor.”
“He’s freaking out because it moved his coffee mug like three times.” Steph chimed in.
——
“Danny?”
“Yeah?”
“Have you seen anything weird, lately?”
Danny tilted his head. “No…?”
“Not even in the house?” Jason asked.
“Shadows? Anything?” Dick asked, eye bags prominent on the normally exuberant man. Danny snickered inwardly. They’ve been up for three days trying to “catch” the ghost.
“Uh. I mean the floorboards creak sometimes? But in terms of shadows… I think I saw them outside? Kind of looked like Batman, actually. But my eyesight gets bad at night. Why?”
Danny could see in the dark just fine.
“Nothing! Let me know if you see anything, okay?”
“Uh. Sure? Maybe you guys should… get some sleep?”
“Uh-huh.”
The bats file out of his room.
——
Danny locked glowing green eyes with Tim and Dick. He did some quick thinking and contorted his ectoplasm into something more grotesque.
“Kkkhggggghkkkkeeee!!!” He screeched.
“AHHHHHHHHHH!” The two of them screamed, both bolting and throwing things at him. It was impressive how fast they backpedaled.
“That was close,” Danny muttered. He quickly scribbled on Damian’s whiteboard with conspiracy theories and dipped before the rest of the bats came thundering.
He fell into a light sleep just as Stephanie checked up on him, work done.
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lovelylonelymoonlight · 9 months
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Nothing funnier to me than dick going to therapy for like 3 months before going to Bruce and being like
“I don’t wanna be Batman”
And Bruce kinda just looks at him like “….okaaayy?? I didn’t want you to be Batman”
So dick has to go to therapy for ANOTHER three months so he can ask Bruce about That only for Bruce to be like, “who in their right mind would pick Batman over Nightwing??? When given the choice a world without Nightwing would be a nightmare”
And then dick goes home and cries because his dad is proud of him
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ohposhers · 2 months
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guys im so fucking sorry but FNAF Trolls AU LMAOOOOOO CREEK AFTROLL KILLS BROZONE OR WHATEVER IDK HELP ME
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I'm sick and tired of hearing ice-cold takes that Batman's a Mary Sue.
So what? So what if he's an engineer, martial artist, gymnast, strategist, forensic scientist, hacker, racecar driver, pilot, detective, actor, CEO, etc.
Bruce Wayne is NOT a Mary Sue.
He's Everything. Bruce Wayne is the Barbie of the DC universe.
Anyway here's my pitch for a new batman logo:
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cyrwrites · 3 months
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Dearly Devil
Bruce wanted to make a contract with a demon, so he summoned one.
He got a baby incubus in Dick Grayson.
Years later, in the anniversary of his parents' deaths, he tried again, and the summoned baby ifrit trapped him into a custody agreement.
He introduced himself as Jason and refused to give him another name.
The third demon was a cambion. He was not summoned, and he refused to return to his family.
He told Bruce he had no choice about this adoption and that his name was Tim.
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atomicc · 4 months
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Family Photo 💕✌️💥
Based on this pic which I'm obsessed with
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batcavescolony · 1 year
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Jason *dying his hair black*: you know I started dying my hair before Robin.
Dick: yeah why?
Jason: their's like five red heads in Gotham and I knew as a kid for a fact that one was Ivy and one was Riddler. Then I became Robin to find out the other was Batgirl/Barbra and finally Kate Batman's cousin who's now Batwoman-
Dick: Yeah Red Heads in Gotham are either heroes or villains
Jason: -yeah so I didn't want to draw attention to myself.
Dick: ...Jay?
Jason: what?
Dick: I don't think it worked you've been a hero, villain and now anti-hero.
Jason: ...
Dick:
Jason *slams down color brush*: FUCK
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shower-phantom-ideas · 5 months
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Danny is just a kid ya know? Like he is just a little guy. A baby really. 14? Tiny child! Look at him, he needs to be protected. Someone has to help this poor little dude. I mean he forgets to use his own powers to avoid attacks all the time.
Anyway cut to Batfam not knowing all of Dannys power set cause the lil dingus keeps forgetting he can do that stuff in the heat of battle.
Danny uses his invisibility all the time… to avoid being followed. But in a fight? Oopsies hes too busy thinking of funny one liners to realise he could do that.
Intangibility? Give the guy a break. I mean who calls themselves condiment king. Even he was stunned.
He so rarely actually uses his biggest advantage powers that the League doubt he actually has them. He, like any naive child, trusts them and reported fully on his power set. Instead of just asking him to demonstrate his powers they instead start watching him and try to find evidence of his powers.
At least they know duplication was true since they watched him make a copy of himself to go to the bathroom and not miss any of his fav tv show.
#danny phantom#dp x dc#dpxdc#im 100% here for danny using his powers for stupid shit and not the important battle stuff#this post wasn’t meant to be like this so I guess heres for you guys who read my stupid tags#I was gonna have the batfam adopt danny after a reveal and just not know all the crazy stuff he can do#they think they got him figured out then at the manner he does something like seep into the floor to get his forgotten school bag#or he turns invisible cause he got caught parnking and bruce is talking to him and steph but he just dips#no wait I can do better. he gets yelled at by bruce (aka new father figure) for eating a corn chip off the floor and just vanishes from…#… from getting surprised. meanwhile bruce is like!?!?!?!!?#just imagine them going crazy because they have no idea his powerset and they thought they did#his new siblings make a game of it#they get on missions and keep asking danny to do more and more impossible stuff just to see if he will reveal a new power#hey danny go scope out the area but make sure you arent seen ok#and hes like sure thing fam and goes invisible and intangible#doesn’t think to just take out the baddies and returns to them with a full floor plan and locatikn of all the baddies and drugs#like wtf#hey danny think you can do anything about that generator? and hes like sure thing fam and then freezes it#danny bro this guy is out of control! little help? and danny just walks up to the guy and overshadows him and handcuffs himself#brother daniel I dint think we can get in but theres a small hole here in the wall#would you be able to do anything about that? and instead of just walking thru the wall danny shifts his body and goes thru the hole#as if he had no bones and became liquid#the game gets intense and breaks bruce so he gives in first (yes he was playkng too) and just asks danny to show them his powers#he will say some shit like ‘ah hey chum think you can show us all your abilities? that was we can coordinate better in the field.’#dannys just like ‘yea daddio sure thing’ then proceeded to show off his entire move set minus wail until bruce showed him a chamber…#… that could ‘with stand’ his power (spoiler he destroyed that fucking toom lmao)#ok my spaghetti rings and meatballs have been done for a while and juliet is trying to eat them out the microwave so hopefully these tags#fed yall goobers#man I should have just made a second post lmao#stood in the kitchen too long typing and they got cold
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nelkcats · 7 months
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Lost Contact
Danny fell in love with Bruce Wayne in college. If he was completely honest with himself he didn't even know about Gotham or the outside world by that point, he just knew he had to get away from home for a while and complete his studies.
He didn't expect to run into a playboy billionaire who was supposedly very dumb at his college; Danny knew better, he could tell the difference between the act and the real Bruce, someone truly thoughtful, caring and very smart, but no one but him noticed so he didn't say anything.
They became very good friends despite their obvious latent crush and on graduation day Danny was about to confess when he got a call from home asking for help with the GIW. The halfa had no choice but to say goodbye not wanting to get Bruce in his mess.
When he returned to Gotham months later he learned that Bruce was gone, his butler informed him that he would be back but didn't know when and the halfa returned to Amity in disappointment. He decided to take over the Realms for a while and distract himself with all the responsibilities he had been avoiding.
Years later he was called for a college reunion. Danny was very nervous, he hadn't kept in touch with the outside world but his core was still glowing for the billionaire, he wondered if Bruce would remember him.
Despite his plan to confess his old feelings (and pretend they no longer existed), Danny was unable to do anything but look at Bruce who greeted him with a smile and a small child at his side. The halfa grimaced, maybe he was married?
Bruce seemed excited to see him again and exchanged his contact, asking him not to go off the radar again, the halfa felt a little guilty about it. They continued to communicate over the years. Danny noted with amusement how his crush kept adopting children and calling him for a dinner at the mansion.
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tiffycat · 2 months
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this came to me in a dream
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ochibrochi · 3 months
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metropolis nights 🌙 (kal-el ver. under the cut) original "template" by @/K0TTERl
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allgremlinart · 1 year
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god gives his toughest battles (trying to ignore the inherent homoeroticism of your best friends pink robe exposing his collarbones) to his sleepiest soldiers (Clark Kent)
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mysterycitrus · 3 months
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bruce wayne and dick grayson, a lonely place of dying (1989)
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