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jeongheart · 7 months

Text

super shy

summary: he's been receiving these letters for the past year but, he doesn't know your name, does he?

w.c: 7.1k.

tags: friends to lovers, fluff, slice of life.

a.n: this is the longest fic i ever written omg, i've been playing new jeans latest comeback for a few days and this is the result lol. as always, english is not my first language so sorry in advance for any mistakes. leave your thoughts if you liked it, means a lot!

It was there again.

Sitting immaculately on top of his messy folders, the envelope was white without any type of decoration, the owner of the cursive handwriting wouldn't even risk placing a sticker since it could give a clue, even minimal, about who was behind it.

The classroom was almost empty, since recess ended a few minutes ago and the students were still lazily getting up from the grass where they were lying, not wanting to lock themselves in a room again for hours while the day was shining beautifully outside the building.

However, Chan looked around him, narrowing his eyes as he scanned his classmates for the smallest trace of uneasiness as he took the envelope in his hands. But he didn't find any, unless the author had a master's degree in poker face no one around him seemed interested in what he was doing.

After the failed scrutiny, he sat down again with no care on the wooden bench, eager to read what that person had to say today. This excited feeling was new for him, the letters had been arriving about a year ago, right at the beginning of the new semester and at first, Chan found it funny. Surely one of his friends (he bet his life on either Seungmin or Minho, those two were always up to something no matter how much they said they weren't) found it fun to piss him off this year, after all, it has been a long time since his last relationship and sometimes he felt the need of affection, so the "joke" made perfect sense in his head.

He didn't read them the first few months, he just crumpled them up and kept them in a hidden place in his backpack, to let whoever was behind them know that he wasn't interested. But they kept coming even after that vile act against someone's real feelings; and that was when Chan began to question if there really was a person genuinely interested in him, interested enough to send him handwritten letters as if they were living in a classic romance novel. The person had a beautiful vocabulary, and it was clear that they paid attention to details that he didn't even noticed about himself.

The notes weren't very long since they didn't exceed ten lines, but each word was full of admiration and affection. They always reminded him to eat and take care of his health, in addition to telling him day by day one of the qualities why his mysterious person had fallen in love with him. Chan blushed every time he read those reasons, it was no secret (to himself, since he didn't like others to know) that he didn't think very highly of himself; from his point of view there was nothing nice or admirable about his existence. But this person believed just the opposite, and they had made their life's mission to let him know that every day.

Today was no exception, the lined sheets were a pastel color (pink? orange?) and had small animal decorations at the bottom and top (he noticed that these came in "groups", the representative animal of these last ten notes was a smiling giraffe). It was incredibly adorable, and Chan found himself laughing softly every time he took out the contents of the envelope.

'Mondays are always hard! Especially this time of year (can't the professors trust in me and my knowledge of things? I don't see the need for them to take a test).

Anyway, Channie, this weekend I found myself thinking a lot about you, every time I start writing my reasons I feel like I'm going to be left speechless but then I remember that it's not difficult at all to love you. So here is another one:

Your resilience, I greatly admire your ability to always get up no matter how many blows life throws at you. The vast majority of us feel discouraged by the slightest inconvenience, but not you. And that is something incredible.

I hope you have a beautiful start to the week, remember to eat your meals and feel the sun.

Fondly,'

And that's how all the letters ended, the author seemed to hesitate every time they traced the last line, he could feel the uncertainty even on the paper. Chan knew that they were shy and always wondered when they were going to stop being to finally sign with their name and be able to meet that person who stole his heart with every word.

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He was reading the note, hunched over his things, almost shielding the contents of the paper from the prying eyes of anyone who passed by him. You knew he was going to do it (he always did) but you couldn't stop your heart from racing like it was the first time it happened. You watched him from the hallway, hiding behind one of your textbooks while a silly smile appeared on your face, nothing made you happier than making him happy with your words, it's true what people say about "butterflies in the stomach" because that was what you were feeling right now.

His eyes crinkled in the most adorable way possible every time he smiled and from your spot in the hallway you could almost hear the sigh he let out after finishing reading the letter. After scanning his surroundings one last time, Chan placed the paper back into the envelope, and carefully placed it inside his notebook.

"You and your Shakespeare complex again" The sudden voice of your best friend so close made you jump in your place and drop the book you had in your hands. It hit the ground with a dull sound due to the thickness of its contents, and when you picked up the book again you turned around to face the figure of the perpetrator. He just laughed at you and your reaction, which earned him a closed-fist blow directly to his shoulder.

"You deserve it" You didn't even bother to return his reproachful gaze since he clearly felt like fighting, and instead, you returned your focus to Chan's classroom and his figure. He was no longer in his seat and you didn't want to look weird by leaning out the window door to look for him. So you sighed heavily and leaned your body against the wall while closing your eyes.

Until you felt Jeongin's presence come to your side "Are you going to tell him sometime?"

You didn't answer him.

Well, actually you did, with a growl that could mean either 'I'll do it today, stop bothering' or 'not even dead'. However, the blonde wasn't satisfied with your interpretation of an animal as a response and he began poking your ribs with his long fingers, drawing high-pitched sounds of protest from your lips.

"Stop it, Innie" You moved his hands away from your figure and stood firmly looking him in the eyes like a mother who is trying to discipline her misbehaving son. He crossed his arms with a satisfied smile crossing his face with foxlike features and, with a movement of his head, he invited you to speak.

"What do you want me to say? 'Hello Chan! It's me, the person who has been sending you letters like a fifteen-year-old for a year now. I've been in love with you since the moment I saw you at my best friend's house. Do you want to be my boyfriend?" You rolled your eyes tiredly and didn't wait for Jeongin to tell you what he thought, and so you started walking towards your classroom, with an exasperated five foot seven boy following closely behind you.

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You still remembered the first time you'd seen him, and how couldn't you. His presence could illuminate even the darkest corner, and his personality attracted anyone around him.

It was the summer, and you'd gone to Jeongin's house to spend an afternoon together. The air conditioning in your apartment had broken two days ago, and you couldn't stand being in your room for another second, which was already beginning to feel like an industrial oven. When you arrived at your best friend's residence, you weren't surprised by the fact that there were more people than just the two of you. Jeongin was taking singing lessons at a nearby academy and had hit it off with some of his classmates; so while you didn't know them as well as he did, you had the chance to hang out with some of them a couple of times and you could say that they were the funniest guys you'd ever come across. Especially Hyunjin, who seemed to be like a glove with your best friend.

Jeongin's house felt cold, as if winter had come only for the Yang family and, although you shivered with every step you took towards the kitchen where voices could be heard, this felt like paradise compared to the hell you lived in your house (and you even thought it was cooler in hell).

Reaching the kitchen, you heard Hyunjin's melodious voice followed by his nasal, boisterous laughter at a comment Jeongin made. You shook your head laughing inwardly as you pushed the wooden door open to enter the space, the boys turning their heads in your direction as they heard the hinges snapping back into place.

Your best friend gave you his characteristic smile as he got up from his seat on one of the stools in front of the kitchen island to give you a small hug "I thought you weren't coming anymore!"

From Jeongin's shoulder you saw how Hyunjin gave you a smile and a wave, you tried to return the gesture as best you could considering that you were trapped in the arms of a boy who flatly stated that he didn't like hugs. It was getting long in your opinion, so you patted Jeongin on the back, letting him know that yes, you loved him very much, but you were still sticky with sweat from the walk in the sun and you didn't want to make him uncomfortable when he was so cool. When Jeongin let go of you, he opened his palm to introduce you to a person you hadn't seen before, "I hope you don't mind, that's Chan over there. He also goes to our academy, and he goes to university with us! Although he is a year ahead"

You smiled at Jeongin as you walked further into the kitchen to greet the new guest and in front of you stood one of the most attractive men you'd ever seen in your entire life. He wasn't very tall (you could tell even if he was sitting) but his broad shoulders gave him an intimidating presence, his hair looked messy in a swirl of brown curls, and although he was dressed from head to toe in black (you were sure his nails were painted that color too) on his face was a dimpled smile that took your breath away.

From one moment to the next you forgot how to articulate words and you felt like a fish opening and closing its mouth trying to find something to say, but your brain didn't seem to want to work.

You felt a small push on your right shoulder that took your body forward, towards the table, and towards Chan.

"How rude you are" Jeongin rolled his eyes, and although deep down you knew he was doing it to tease you, your cheeks turned red. You felt your tongue heavy in your mouth as the seconds passed and you were unable to utter a single word.

"Leave her alone, Innie. It's pretty hot outside, isn't it?" Chan's deep voice brought you out of your trance and forced you to look him in the eyes. He had a sincere smile on his face and was watching you with raised eyebrows, letting you know that he was going to listen to you when you wanted to respond.

Your heart did a complete turn in your chest, you were surprised in the best of ways at how friendly he was, the vast majority of boys with his attractiveness made that their only personality trait but he was attentive and considerate of all the people around him, even with complete strangers who hadn't stopped looking or saying anything to him in three minutes.

"Yes...yes, it's horrible! And the air conditioning in my house is broken and you can't imagine how hot it is! I feel like I'm going to die one of these days" The words came tumbling out of your mouth, since you hadn't had the time to stop and think about what exactly you wanted to say, and your nerves were playing the worst trick of your entire life.

Chan laughed again (even his laugh was pretty) and he nodded his head, not at all scared or surprised with the lexical vomit you just made.

"It must be like torture, really. You must be tired from the walk under the sun, why don't you sit down for a bit? The boys and I were planning to watch a movie" The brunette softly kicked one of the stools that were stored under the table in your direction.

You nodded shyly and took the seat he offered you, right in front of him. You left your phone on the cold marble of the table and looked around the kitchen for your best friend, you'd been surprised by the fact that he hadn't gotten into the conversation for five minutes and to be honest you desperately needed to focus on something other than Chan's penetrating gaze you felt on your face.

"Innie?" You called out to him with a small shout, loud enough for him to hear you even if he'd gone into the garden.

After a few seconds, your friend's blonde head peeked out of the left door that led to the living room, and a mischievous smile appeared on his face. "I'm sorry! Since you two were talking, we decided to go prepare things for the movie."

Jeongin paused and looked at you evilly, a look that you knew very well and that didn't give you a good feeling at all "Chan, why don't you prepare something to eat? I bought some snacks today, come when you have everything ready~" And before you could protest, he disappeared from your sight again while laughing and yelling something at Hyunjin.

You immediately tensed up and cursed Jeongin in your mind, how dare he leave you alone with your newfound crush. If he was getting revenge for the time you tried to play matchmaker and failed then he was being very childish, that'd been years ago!

While the insulting thoughts against your best friend and all his ancestors accumulated in your brain, from the corner of your eye you watched as Chan got up from his seat and went to the counter where the mentioned snacks and bowls of colors were located, apparently the prankster you called your best friend had already prepared the trap before you even arrived.

You didn't want to look weirder than you already felt so with your limbs shaking and making even the slightest of movements difficult; you also got up from your seat and slowly approached where Chan was, you stood next to him (close enough for him to know that you were willing to help but far enough not to invade his personal space).

He looked at you briefly and smiled sideways, and didn't say anything as he gently pushed a bowl towards you. The task wasn't very complicated per se, but it did become extremely difficult when the only thing you could focus on were the large, veiny hands of the boy next to you, you hadn't realized how attractive it was to see a man opening packets of potato chips and arranging them in a small container until now.

"Jeongin said we go to the same university, do you study the same as him?" You were startled by the sudden interruption of silence, you turned to look at Chan after finishing preparing the bowl with the nachos.

"Yes, I mean, no. We share some classes because some subjects are correlative in each one's career but I could never do the same as Innie" You smiled shyly and shook your head.

"I study psychology," You finally said and looked at your companion, who had his eyes open and bright like a puppy's (how could it be possible for a person to be incredibly attractive and adorable at the same time? It would have to be illegal), and you wondered what it was that'd amazed him so much, there were millions of other people studying the same thing as you.

Without meaning to, you raised an eyebrow; studying his reaction. He laughed again (it was something he loved to do, apparently) and turned his entire body towards you, resting his left hip against the counter and crossing his arms over his chest.

"That's incredible, the human mind is fascinating. I understand why you study that, for my part, I wouldn't read everything you have to read even if someone paid me."

You laughed loudly, infecting Chan as well. He was doing so with his whole body, his shoulders were shaking to the rhythm of his giggles and you could notice that, from time to time, a small squeak would appear in the sound of his laughter.

When the laughter died down, you looked at him again as you put the last bag of snacks in the cupboard in front of you.

"Yes, I mean, it's a lot to read but it's like you say. I'm interested in knowing the reason for behavior, and I would like to help people in the future. Mental health is something important" This last part came out in a whisper, you weren't used to revealing the reason for your career choice, most people told you that you should have chosen something that would make you rich in twenty years.

"That's incredible, I admire you a lot" Chan said in a soft voice, and you hadn't realized how close he'd gotten until you noticed the small touch of his fingers on your arm, the color quickly rose to your cheeks again and panic took over you, making you choke up when you spoke.

"Y-yes, thank you... not many think that way" And you moved your body away from his space; maybe a little abruptly but you were sure that if you continued in that position you were going to do or say something ridiculous, you couldn't trust your ability to reason at the moment.

Chan cleared his throat at your reaction and took two bowls in his hands, starting to walk towards the living room. You hadn't realized how loudly the other two boys were talking, were you so immersed in the situation to forget the outside world? Apparently yes.

"Are you done yet? The boys must be waiting" He stopped right in front of the door, waiting for you to take what you'd prepared.

You nodded softly, and after grabbing your preparations, you followed him into the living room.

You don't really remember what happened after that, you assume you watched the movies that the boys had already chosen before you arrived. You also don't remember if you had even paid attention, probably not, because you were very focused on keeping your breathing as normal as you could since unfortunately Hyunjin and Jeongin decided to each sit in an individual chair and by coincidence the only place left to sit was in the two-seat chair that your best friend's grandmother had given to his mother at her wedding, and conveniently Chan sat there too. So as the movie played on the screen, your heart raced with every accidental brush of your arms or legs against Chan's.

The only thing you remember clearly from that moment is that you couldn't help but look at his profile, trying to memorize every detail and every peculiarity of his expressions.

The rest of the summer felt like a haze, every time you made plans with Jeongin you knew Chan was going to be there. And that did nothing to dispel the feelings that were beginning to become more present with every minute you spent in his presence.

You liked him a little too much.

His kind nature and the way he treated everyone made you dizzy every time, but you were too shy to act on your feelings and unfortunately you weren't the only one who thought Chan was a good catch. Every now and then different girls approached him to ask him out, and although he always rejected them; you couldn't help but feel a little insecure about the situation. And there was also the small problem that he confessed to you one night in Hyunjin's garden: his last relationship had been somewhat toxic, and although it ended years ago, he was deeply hurt and didn't feel ready yet to fall for someone again.

That confession left a sour taste in your mouth, so you decided not to actively act on your feelings, you really didn't want to make Chan uncomfortable or force him into something he didn't want to do, let alone ruin the friendship you were building. But something as strong as love cannot be contained, and one sleepless night you found yourself scribbling in your notebook the things you wanted to say to him, the things you liked about him, and how he made you feel when you looked at him.

You weren't thinking when you left the first envelope on his desk, it was a completely impulsive decision that you regretted the moment you left his classroom. But when you turned around to go back and throw the letter into the trash, he already found it.

At first he didn't read them, you knew because you'd overheard when he mentioned it to Hyunjin during an outing the three of you made, Chan believed that one of his friends was playing a prank on him.

And that was the last straw that broke the camel's back, although you told yourself that you weren't going to write anymore letters for the sake of your friendship and your own feelings you had to let him know (even if anonymously) that he was someone worthy of love and that he wasn't what the people in his past made him believe he was.

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Once you arrived at the classroom (miraculously before the professor, you didn't think you could endure another lecture and there were still three more hours before leaving the university) you sat down in your respective seat by the window. The day was really beautiful, and from your place you could see the large patio where the entire student body went to relax between classes, it was your favorite place in the entire building and at this moment you wanted nothing more than to be leaning against a tree feeling the warm sunlight on your face.

"I'm not saying you have to tell him that but don't you think it's been too long already?" Jeongin didn't seem to want to drop the topic for today, he'd gotten up from his seat taking advantage of the fact that there was still no sign of the teacher and sat at your table, almost knocking all the things that were on top of it to the floor. You rested your head on the bench and waved a hand in the air, brushing it off in an attempt to say 'leave me alone already'.

Your best friend snorted exasperatedly, "You really are a special case, you've been in love with him for a year, for God's sake."

At the boy's aggressive tone of voice, you took your head off the table and looked at him with a frown. He looked back at you like he always did: challenging and forcing you to speak for yourself.

"It's not as easy as you say, Jeongin" You spat angrily.

"For all I know, if he finds out, he could throw my stupid letters in the trash and confessing would not only make me look weird but it would also ruin the friendship we have" You lowered your face, feeling a little sad "And the last thing I would like to do is lose him"

Jeongin’s expression softened as he realized the depth of your anxiety, and he reached out to place a reassuring hand on your shoulder. "I get it, I really do. You don't want to jeopardize what you have but you deserve happiness too, you know? Maybe it's time to take a risk."

“I don’t even think I have a chance” You sighed, feeling defeated.

Jeongin moved closer and lowered his voice conspiratorially, "You may have more possibilities than you think, but sometimes you have to give destiny a little push."

You raised an eyebrow at his choice of words and just as you were about to question him further, the professor made an appearance in the classroom ordering everyone to take their respective seats and apologizing for the delay. Your best friend flashed you a bright smile with his trademark dimples and snuck over to his table, effectively ending the conversation and leaving you wondering what he meant for the rest of the day.

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If Jeongin's plan was for you to not sleep for a week, then he'd achieved it. His words had been spinning through your head like a whirlpool that seemed to have no end. You knew that he'd been friends with the brunette for a longer time than you, but were they close enough that the youngest knew the secrets inside Chan's heart?

Or was he giving you the advice that all friends gave to their other friends desperate to believe in the illusion that the person they like reciprocates their feelings? No, Jeongin wouldn't do that, he was too honest for his own good and besides you'd known each other longer (your mothers said you were born to be friends). So did that mean there really was a chance?

No, of course not, that was ridiculous.

You shook your head in an attempt to get rid of those thoughts as you rang the doorbell at Hyunjin's house. Your group had agreed to meet to study and you needed to have a clear mind, the exams were around the corner and you couldn't afford to keep your brain preoccupied thinking about something that would never happen.

The minutes passed slowly as you waited for the homeowner, and while you were thinking about ringing the doorbell again fearing that the boys inside hadn't heard you, the door suddenly opened, and nothing could have prepared you to see the person who has been living rent free in your mind, you knew he would be there, but you didn't expect to face him so quickly.

"Hey, you arrived just in time, Hyunjin's mom just brought us some drinks" Chan was his usual self, with his beautiful smile plastered on his face and his relaxed attitude.

You blinked once, twice, three times before you managed a small forced smile and responded, "Oh, great, thanks," and you stood there in silence, unable to look him in the eyes.

Chan tilted his head in silent question at your attitude, "Is everything okay?"

His concern for your well-being was evident in his voice and he struck a chord in your heart. You looked at him briefly, meeting his gaze for a fleeting moment and nodded, still struggling to find your voice.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” You finally responded, trying to sound casual despite the jumble of emotions inside you.

Chan's friendly demeanor never wavered as he led you into the house, you followed him with a notable distance between your bodies and so when you arrived at the living room where the boys were already seated with open textbooks and a monstrous amount of things to eat you almost ran to sit next to Jeongin, an attitude that didn't go unnoticed by the blonde, who looked at you with his eyebrows raised in a telepathic question.

Meanwhile, Chan didn't take his eyes off you as he sat next to Hyunjin on the couch in front of where you and your best friend were.

The afternoon went by slowly, too slowly for your liking, you'd gone with all the desire to study and get your mind out of the anxiety that was consuming you, but that attempt had been futile.

Although your gaze remained glued to your notes and your blue highlighter (which hadn't highlighted anything in the last hour, you'd read the same paragraph five times without getting a clue of what it was trying to say) you felt how two eyes were burning holes in your figure. The room was suffocatingly silent, and you were sure that your irregular breathing was evident to the entire group; your nerves were so on edge that when your best friend's voice filled the void you almost jumped in your place.

"I'm tired, how about we take a break?"Jeongin raised his arms towards the ceiling, stretching his back and then collapsing gracelessly against the soft cushions of the sofa.

Hyunjin nodded while massaging his neck, stiff after so many hours of looking down at his notes and reading "I thought no one was going to say it, I was going crazy."

Chan didn't say anything, he just closed his notebooks and imitated Jeongin in his relaxed pose against the couch. You felt out of place when the boys started chatting about meaningless things to lighten the atmosphere.

You only nodded when you felt your input was necessary, or laughed when you thought that was the reaction you should have but you didn't speak, because in fact, you weren't sure you were going to say anything coherent or at least make your voice louder than a whisper, so you decided that the best course of action was to stay quiet.

If the boys noticed it, they didn't say anything, and you couldn't be more grateful for it.

"You know" Chan interrupted the laughter of the other two boys after a not-so-funny story told by Hyunjin.

Everyone focused their attention on him, the tone of voice he'd used was more serious than his usual; so serious that it forced you to look up for the first time since the recess began and you found Chan's brown eyes looking directly at you, doing it so intensely that you thought he was staring right into your soul.

You held your breath, but you weren't prepared for what he said next.

"My secret admirer hasn't written to me in a few days" He was still looking at you, but there was something strange hidden in his irises, something you couldn't decipher.

Silence once again took over Hyunjin's living room, and the tension could be cut with a knife, it almost seemed like time had stopped when the brunette pronounced the last syllable. Your mouth felt dry, and your palms began to sweat. The weight of his words floated in the air and a thousand thoughts passed through your mind, each one more disconcerting than the last.

Hyunjin snorted, and looked maliciously at Chan "Maybe they are tired of you."

His mocking comment broke the heavy silence like thunder. Jeongin joined in with a playful smile, taking the opportunity to tease Chan mercilessly. “Maybe your secret admirer found someone else,” he joked, his tone light and teasing, “Or maybe they are just playing hard to get.”

Your heart was pounding in your chest, wanting to burst while the boys laughed at Chan's expense while he, in response, rolled his eyes and smiled sarcastically at the jokes that his friends kept saying, he also looked at you from time to time making your discomfort even more evident.

You desperately searched for words to contribute to the conversation, your voice choked by the rising anxiety. But as Jeongin and Hyunjin's playful teasing continued, you remained silent, feeling like a bystander in a conversation that was becoming more cryptic by the second. Chan's gaze never left you, and despite the teasing, there was something in his eyes that betrayed a deeper understanding. His comment felt like a puzzle piece falling into place, yet you couldn't put your finger on what he truly knew.

As the laughter subsided, the room descended into an awkward silence once more, and then Chan finally spoke up, his tone more subdued than before. "Well, whoever it is," he began, his eyes still locked on yours, "I hope they know they've brightened my days with their letters."

The comment hung in the air, carrying a weight that seemed to pull everyone into its gravity. Jeongin and Hyunjin exchanged glances, their playful demeanor suddenly giving way to something more conspiracy.

You, on the other hand, felt an overwhelming mix of emotions. The anxiety that'd been building throughout the day reached a crescendo. You wanted to say something, to respond in some way, but the words caught in your throat.

Hyunjin broke the silence once more, this time with a touch of sincerity in his voice. "Whoever they are," he said, "they must really care about you, man." Jeongin nodded in agreement, and the room seemed to shift, it was a subtle transformation, but one that you couldn't help but notice.

Chan smiled, a genuine one that reached his eyes. "Yeah," he admitted, "They do mean a lot to me."

You desperately needed a moment to collect your thoughts and emotions after that serious conversation, so you mumbled something about getting a drink from the kitchen, excusing yourself with a weak smile and slowly, you retreated from the living room, the voices of the boys fading as you put some distance between you and the group.

In the dimly lit kitchen, you leaned against the countertop, your heart still racing from the tension in the room. The realization that Chan cherished those anonymous letters hit you like a ton of bricks. You'd never imagined how much they meant to him.

Just as you were lost in thought, the sound of footsteps behind you made you jump. You turned to find Chan standing there, a serious yet gentle expression on his face. His presence seemed to fill the room with warmth, and your anxiety ratcheted up another notch.

"Hey," he said softly, "You okay?"

You nodded, unable to form words an he took a step closer, his gaze never left yours.

Chan's brown eyes bore into yours, and for a moment, it felt like the world had frozen around you. You couldn't contain the thoughts racing through your mind any longer. With a trembling voice, you finally asked the question that'd been gnawing at you.

"Do you know who's been sending those letters?"

Chan's expression remained calm, but you could see a glimmer of something in his eyes, a hint of knowing. He didn't answer immediately, instead, he stepped closer, narrowing the distance between you.

His voice was soft as he replied, "I have a feeling I might have a clue."

Your heart pounded in your chest as you searched his face for more hints. What did he mean by 'a clue'? It was clear he was being deliberately vague, and it only added to your curiosity.

"But," he continued, "I'd like to hear it from you. Tell me, do you know who it is?"

You hesitated, the weight of the truth pressing down on you. The walls between you and Chan seemed to dissolve, and the vulnerability in his eyes was mirrored in your own. With a shaky breath, you summoned the courage to speak, your voice quivering with fear and anticipation.

"It's me."

The admission hung in the air, heavy and uncertain. You couldn't bring yourself to meet his gaze, your eyes locked on the floor as you waited for his reaction. The seconds felt like hours as you replayed all the letters, and the emotions you'd poured into them.

Chan's silence stretched, and the tension in the room became palpable. Your heart raced, and you feared the worst — rejection, awkwardness, or even laughter.

Then, he reached out, gently lifting your chin with his fingers, forcing you to look into his eyes. The warmth and kindness in his gaze melted away your fears.

"Thank you," he whispered, his voice soft and sincere. "I've cherished every single one."

As tears welled up in your eyes, Chan reached out to gently wipe them away with his thumb. He pulled you into a comforting embrace, holding you close as your emotions overwhelmed you. You couldn't hold back the tears any longer, and they flowed freely as you nestled into his embrace. He whispered soothing words, his voice a balm to your soul, reassuring you that everything would be okay.

After a moment of shared comfort, you pulled away slightly, looking up at him with curiosity. "But how did you know it was me?" you finally asked, your voice still trembling.

Chan smiled softly, brushing a strand of hair from your face, a knowing twinkle in his eye, and replied, "I had my suspicions, especially after some of the things you wrote. But what really gave it away was your handwriting."

You blinked in surprise.

Handwriting? You hadn't considered that, no, haven't even thought about it when you started this a year ago, and to be honest you felt a little dumb.

Chan continued, "I recognized your handwriting from a birthday card you gave me a while back. It was similar to the writing in the letters. And then, well, I saw you looking at me during our hangouts, and it all just started to make sense."

You blushed, feeling a mix of embarrassment and relief. It seemed like you'd left more clues than you thought. But instead of feeling exposed, you felt a strange sense of comfort knowing that he'd noticed your feelings all along.

With a shy smile, you said, "I guess I'm not very good at hiding my feelings, am I?"

Chan chuckled softly. "No, but that's okay. I'm glad you told me."

As you gazed into Chan's eyes, you noticed something change in his expression. The initial surprise and curiosity gave way to a more tender, understanding look. He cupped your face gently, his touch warm and reassuring.

"You know," he began softly, "I've always appreciated those letters. They made me feel special, like someone out there truly understood me. And I never wanted to pressure you into revealing yourself," Chan continued. "I wanted you to do it when you were ready."

"I was just afraid," you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper. "Afraid of what you might think, of how it might change things between us."

Chan's thumb traced small circles on your cheek as he reassured you, "Don't be. This doesn't change how I feel about what we have. If anything, it makes it even more special."

A tear escaped from the corner of your eye, but this time, it wasn't a tear of anxiety or fear. It was a tear of relief, of happiness. You leaned into Chan's touch, and he leaned closer, his eyes locked on yours, and before you knew it, his lips met yours in a soft, gentle kiss. The world seemed to melt away as your lips met his, you felt the warmth of his body against yours, and the sensation sent shivers down your spine. His hands cradled your face, holding you gently but firmly, as if he never wanted to let you go.

The taste of his lips was sweet and comforting, like a warm embrace on a cold winter's day, you could feel the steady beat of Chan's heart, matching the rhythm of your own. The world around you disappeared, and there was only the two of you.

And just as you were lost in that sweet moment, the kitchen door burst open, and in walked your friends, their playful banter filling the room while wearing grins so wide they threatened to split their faces. Jeongin couldn't help but tease you, waggling his eyebrows playfully. "Well, well, looks like someone finally got the courage to make a move!"

Hyunjin joined in with a mock-sympathetic tone. "And here we thought we'd have to wait another century for this to happen!"

You blushed furiously, pulling away from Chan who chuckled in amusement, still holding you close. "You guys have impeccable timing," he remarked, his voice laced with sarcasm.

Jeongin winked at you, "Hey! We're just glad we won't have to hear you two mooning over each other anymore."

#stray kids fluff #bang chan fluff #bang chan x reader #stray kids imagines #stray kids scenarios #skz soft thoughts #skz scenarios #skz imagines #skz x reader #skz fluff #stray kids x reader #kpop scenarios #kpop imagines #bri writes

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pathologicalreid · 15 days

Note

spenwer weid hanahaki pwease 💐💐💐

perennial | S.R.

unrequited love brings spencer to his death bed, unless you can rescue him

who? spencer reid x fem!reader category: angst content warnings: hanahaki au, spencer reid gets a degree in yearnology, terminal illness, happy ending, surgery, doctors, this is a made up disease, mentions of other diseases like cancer and briefly mentions reid's addiction and schizophrenia, and death. word count: 3.01k a/n: if you don't know what hanahaki disease is, neither did i until bri asked. look here for some background. i did not come up with this concept. im not that creative.

He had never quite been able to pinpoint the date he fell in love with you. He wasn’t sure if it was the say you laughed at his jokes or the way your hair shone in the sunlight. He just knew that he loved you, and it was killing him.

It wasn’t killing him in the colloquial sense, it was physically going to end his life. The deep, brutal love he felt for you had been slowly chipping away at him for well over a year now, ever since you waltzed into his life. Haphazardly, he tossed the packet that his doctor had given him onto his coffee table, the papers ungracefully fanning out over the oak surface as he did.

Leaving his apartment today had effectively drained him of energy, prompting him to call out of work – something he had been doing with alarming frequency these days. Luckily, Hotch was able to give him leeway, but it couldn’t be long until Spencer got into trouble. Someone else would notice, he was sure you already were.

Yours was the face he always saw when he closed his eyes. If he didn’t know any better, he could’ve sworn your features were tattooed on the inside of his eyelids. Despite his exhaustion, he was wary of falling asleep. He didn’t want to see you in his dreams, lest it cause his health to deteriorate even more.

Trying to take a deep breath, something caught in his throat, causing him to stumble over to his pathetic-looking balcony. Leaning over the railing, he lost himself in a coughing fit, letting the petals that were poisoning his lungs fly out of his mouth.

Once Spencer got his bearings back, he straightened up. Blinking tears out of his eyes, he watched the purple flower petals float away in the wind. He was watching the petals when he noticed you, walking determinedly along the sidewalk, your jacket flowing behind you. Was it five o’clock already? Had you already gotten out of work?

Splitting himself in two, he hoped you weren’t going to come to his door while also hoping you were headed to see him. He knew that the dull ache in his chest only grew worse when you were closer, but the possibility of seeing your beautiful eyes provided him with the bravery that he needed to confront that pain.

Watching you disappear into the apartment building, he waited until he heard a knock at his front door. He took the wobbly steps required to reach the front door, clearing his throat, and letting a petal fall to the floor just before he undid the lock and deadbolt.

You swung the door open, not even waiting for him to open the door. He waited as you studied him, eyes flittering across his body – just taking in the state of him.

Spencer had never been overly large or muscular, he had been lanky pretty much from the get-go, but over the past year, he had become frail. You swallowed thickly as you took in the way his sweater practically hung off of him, “Hi, Spence.”

His chest ached at the familiar nickname, everything about you was familiar. “Hi, Y/N,” he greeted politely, and he watched your confidence falter for just a moment before he silently pulled the door open. “You can come in if you want,” he felt as though there were an angel and a devil on his shoulders. One would beckon for you to enter the apartment, and the other wanted to banish you. The only problem was that he wasn’t sure which was the angel, and which was the devil.

Nodding, you stepped into the apartment, your shoes tapping against the hardwood before you took them off. His throat tickled at the recognition that you remembered his preferences for shoes in his apartment. Shoving your hands in your jean pockets, you peered up at him, “What happened to you?” You asked with concern violently apparent in your tone.

Narrowing his eyes, he cocked his head to the side, “What do you mean?” He had to bite his tongue from saying you happened to me.

“Hotch said you called off, and I noticed you had been doing that a lot recently,” you said, your voice a gentle caress.

Your observations of him sent him into another coughing fit, and he silently hoped you wouldn’t notice the flower petals that scattered the floor. Purple anemones created a pattern of lovesickness in the entirety of his apartment. His skin burned where your hands landed on him, gently ushering him to the couch.

Gratefully, he accepted the tissue that you had held out for him, allowing him to conceal his flowers. “I’m worried about you, Spence,” you confided in him, unable to hide the silver that lined your eyes.

He waved you off, shaking his head as he launched into another coughing fit. Once he gathered himself, he looked up, avoiding your eyes, “I had a doctor’s appointment.”

Your eyes widened in recognition, “Did you finally get your cough checked out?” The inquiry was innocent enough, but he couldn’t help but cringe inwardly at the words that had come out of your mouth. How was it that something as pure as worry could cause him so much pain?

He didn’t answer your question, leaning back against the supple leather of his couch. With a sigh, he allowed his body to meld into the cushions, it was almost enough for him to just fall asleep.

Flinching as you set a hand on his knee, he finally met your eyes, “Spencer, are you sick?”

He knew what you were asking, you wanted to know if he was ailing. Maybe if he had cancer or something that could be removed from his body. Maybe his opioid addiction had finally caught up with him. He didn’t think he looked jaundiced, but maybe his liver was failing.

Perhaps you were thinking about something more psychological, he was at the age where he could have a schizophrenic break. You knew very well that that was a fear of his.

There was also a strong probability that his years in the BAU were just starting to catch up with him. “Spencer?” You breathed, holding your breath as you were afraid of what he could be hiding from you.

“In a manner of speaking, yes,” he was sick. A patient in the doctor’s waiting room had called him a love-sick fool, and they had been right.

You spluttered for a moment as you searched for the right thing to say. Telling him you were sorry felt like a waste of words, an apology couldn’t help him now. “Is there a cure?” You asked him softly, leaning closer to him until he could smell your floral perfume – the world was cruel.

Taking a moment to clear his throat, Spencer answered your question while tucking a flower petal up his sleeve, “There’s a surgery, but it comes with… risks.”

His answer didn’t satisfy you; risks weren’t enough for you to sit and watch him die. You pulled your hand off of his knee, sitting on the floor and folding your hands in your lap, “But without it, you’ll die.” It was clear to you that whatever was going on with Spencer was serious, and if his illness was fatal, you would do anything in your power to help him.

“Most likely,” he confirmed, the both of you knowing he had already run every probability relating to his own survival. It was all he could do to not reach out to you as your teary eyes finally flooded over.

Wiping furiously at your face, you scrunched up your nose in frustration, “You have to do it, Spence.” Your voice was insistent.

Sighing, he shook his head despondently, “I can’t.” He noticed the way you bristled at his answer, but he couldn’t elaborate.

The risks that came with his surgery would be devastating. He would lose you. You wouldn’t die, but every memory that he had of you would die. That was a sacrifice that Spencer wasn’t willing to make.

Truth be told, he was afraid. He was afraid of forgetting you. Forgetting the way you sang along to every song on the radio – even if you didn’t know the words. Forgetting the way you liked to dance in the kitchen while you cooked. Forgetting the way you protected the people you cared about so fiercely.

Forgetting you was a nonnegotiable term. He’d rather die in love with you than live in a world where he had never known that feeling.

His fear of forgetting you greatly outweighed his fear of death.

He took a deep breath, which only resulted in more coughing. Your soft hands guided him tenderly, helping him to lie down on the couch. “Will you look after her?” He blurted, looking up at you as you returned from the kitchen.

Setting a glass of water down on the coffee table, you crossed your arms in front of your chest, “Look after whom?”

“My mom,” he clarified, his voice gravelly from all of the speaking he had done today.

Your lips parted in surprise, evidently that had not been what you were expecting him to say. “You want me to take care of your mother after you…” you couldn’t even finish the sentence. “You won’t even fight to stay with her.”

He couldn’t find the courage to explain his sickness to you, so he let you form your own conclusions. If you wanted to operate under the assumption that he was a coward, so be it. At least he still had you. “I can’t fight it, Y/N. I don’t expect you to understand, but I do want you to respect that.”

Shaking your head, you looked down at the floor, not meeting his eyes anymore. Looking at your pretty eyes was a privilege he had lost, it seemed. “I can’t,” your voice wavered as you stepped backward, stumbling over a pile of books on the floor before you turned and walked out the door, taking bits and pieces of him with you.

Laid back on his couch, Spencer wiped his own tears before that too became arduous. Left in his apartment to rot, he thought about this disease. This unexplainable disease that he had never even heard of before being referred to a specialist.

There was one cure for Hanahaki Disease, and that was to turn unrequited love into requited love. You had the ability to cure him, and all you needed to do was tell him you loved him.

And it had to be the truth.

Even if he did get the surgery, he could return to work. He could meet you again, which would confuse the entire team, including you, but he’d still be damaged. His doctor had told him just that morning that his lungs were past the point of no return.

You deserved better than that. You deserved someone who had the lung capacity to kiss you breathless. You deserved someone with the guts to tell you how they feel.

All of that was purely hypothetical because in order to re-meet you, he’d need to survive the surgery.

The surgery he refused to get.

Either way, he was going to lose you. That realization knocked the air out of his lungs, causing him to turn over on the couch in a fit of coughs. Bringing a new meaning to ‘hacking up a lung,’ he continued his fit until there was a pile of purple flower petals beneath his face.

It was fitting that the flower petals were anemones. He had thought that from the very beginning. Anemones were perennials. Perennial, meaning lasting for an infinite time – enduring. Just like his love for you.

When the surgery was first offered to him, he challenged the doctors. Insisting that his love for you could endure any surgery. He was a man of science; he didn’t fully comprehend how a cardiothoracic surgery could affect your memory. Then again, he was coughing up fresh flower petals on the daily.

The click of the latch on his door caught his attention, and you stepped through the door. He was surprised to see you, and even more surprised to note the red rimming your eyes. You had been crying – over him. “I thought you had left,” he murmured, watching you carefully.

Nodding absentmindedly, you kicked off your shoes. “I did, I… I was going to go home, but on my way to the metro, I passed that deli that I know you like. You need to eat, I know you haven’t been eating right - or at all, actually.” You took a deep, shaky breath, setting the deli bag on the coffee table. “It’s just soup, I thought it might help soothe your throat,” you informed him, rubbing the back of your neck as you crouched next to him.

“You didn’t have to do that,” Spencer insisted, even if the smell coming from the bag made his mouth water.

Wiping a hand down your face, you cleared your throat, “I was thinking about you. What if I went with you to your next doctor’s appointment? There could be a clinical study or something available. My college roommate works at Johns Hopkins now, maybe she has an in.” The hope in your eyes was almost enough to break his heart.

He smiled at you sadly, “There’s nothing, I’ve asked.” That part was true, he had called in every favor that he had in order to find answers and solutions. Either no one knew what he was talking about, or they told him things he didn’t want to hear.

Tears welled in your eyes again and he reached out to wipe them from your cheeks, his hands trembling in time with your bottom lip. “I refuse to believe that this is the end. This can’t be how it ends.” You looked at him pleadingly, “Are you sure you won’t get the surgery?”

He nodded regretfully. Losing all of his memories of you was a fate worse than death.

Bowing your head, you let loose a sob, “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Spence.” You apologized incessantly to him, “There’s nothing I can do to change your mind?”

His own eyes grew teary until he was just looking at your outline, a blurry visage of the girl that he was dying for. “You don’t have anything to be sorry for,” he insisted, reaching over and smoothing down your hair. “I don’t want you to feel sorry for me,” he whispered, having a hard time speaking as emotions caused his throat to swell.

“Please get the surgery,” you spouted, eyes widening as if you hadn’t even expected yourself to say that. “Please, Spencer if you don’t do it for yourself, then do it for me,” your words started to merge into pleas.

Silent, Spencer watched you as you unknowingly begged him to forget you.

Taking a shuddering breath, you looked at him, watery eyes boring into his. “If for no one else, then save your life for me.”

“It’s not that easy,” he breathed.

You brushed off his excuses, “Spencer, I need you. I need you to get this surgery because I absolutely have to have you in my life. Please, you’re my- I’m…” you faltered over your words. He watched as you desperately searched for the right thing to say, “god, can’t you see I’m in love with you?”

Spencer’s chest ached as he grew fearful. You didn’t know what you were saying.

“I love you!” You shouted, surprising even yourself. “I love you, and I need to keep loving you. So, I need you to get this surgery.” You swallowed thickly, “Please, Spencer.”

He felt like he was out of tears to cry, “Just so I understand, what kind of love are we discussing?” Platonic love wouldn’t do it, not for this.

Leaning your head back, you stared at the ceiling helplessly, “Like the soul-crushing, yearning, I’d-marry-you-tomorrow-if-you-asked kind of love.”

Nodding slowly, Spencer leaned forward, and pressed a gentle kiss to your lips, prompting you to kiss him back. It was soft and careful – the two of you were oh, so careful. “I love you too,” he said, knowing damn well that his yearning had nearly killed him. “But for the record, I’d do a much better job of asking you to marry me,” he pointed that out because he did plan on marrying you one day.

Laughing despite the tears that were still flowing down your cheeks in steady streams, you tilted your head at him, “Does that mean you’ll do the surgery?”

For you, he’d move heaven and earth, but he knew that the surgery wouldn’t be necessary. “Come with me to my next appointment, you can meet my doctor, I’m sure he’d love to meet you.” Spencer’s doctor had, after all, heard everything about you.

“Okay, of course, I will,” you told him, burying your face in your hands. “I’ve been sitting on that for almost a year now,” you admitted, causing his heart to clench.

Propping himself up on his elbow, he eyed you curiously. He wasn’t expecting to return to his old self immediately, but Spencer felt like there was some sort of weight lifted from his chest – like getting over a bad cold. “Hey, Y/N?”

Your eyes widened, “Oh! Your soup!” You moved to get up and grab a spoon from Spencer’s kitchen.

Quickly, he reached up and grabbed your hand, tugging on it until you toppled down onto the couch. You landed gracefully, being careful so you didn’t hurt him. “Actually, I was thinking about something a little more along these lines,” he said, poking his head forward and kissing you again.

Nothing but slow, gentle kisses today. The two of you had all of the time in the world. He leaned back onto the pillows, never separating from you. Finally, he let the scent of your floral perfume drown his senses.

For once, it didn’t fill him with dread.

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kakushino · 8 months

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Kyojuro's first

He's weak

"Don't close your eyes, baby, look at me," you said softly cupping Kyojuro's cheek. He had a bright blush on his face, eyes previously clenched shut opening slowly. He could hardly look at your kind expression without nearly passing out. You were so beautiful to him. "Good boy."

Kyojuro let out a high pitched whine at that, making him blush even more. "Pl-please, don't say things like th-that."

You giggled and guided him closer, into your arms - into the cradle of your plush thighs. "If you don't start anytime soon, I'll get cold," you said and leaned in to whisper into his ear teasingly, "Kyo~ju~ro~"

He ground his cock in between your soft and practically dripping pussy lips, groaning quietly at the warmth. It felt incredible to him. Was it even possible to feel this good?

Impatient, your hand stroked him once, twice, before you positioned him at your entrance. "C'mon, you know you want it~" you teased, urging him to finally slide in and fill you up with every delicious inch of him.

"A-alright," he breathed out shakily, slowly pushing the tip in, your hand letting go of his cock as you moaned at the feeling. Even the tip felt heavenly.

"Please, more-" you begged needily.

Despite it being his first time, he was determined to make you feel good, to fill all your expectations of him, and so, he slid inside in one smooth move.

Big mistake.

Kyojuro nearly choked on air; the heat, the softness, the snug fit, the pulsating muscles inside of you - it was all so overwhelming. "Fuuuhk-" he was going to pull out to keep from cumming on the spot, when your ankles locked at the small of his back, keeping him inside for one, two, three seconds and-

He groaned hoarsely, first spurt of his cum coming out quicker than he could react. His hands gripped the sheets by your head with desperation, as if it could save him from wave after wave of pleasure his first orgasm inside brought. He panted like a dog, ashamed at what happened, ducking down and hiding his face in your neck.

"I'm sorry-I'msorry-'msorry-sorrysorrysorry-"

#i nearly named this churro wetter #thanks bri #that fucked up my mind #no header pic because he doesnt deserve one for that performance #im evil #anygays #kyojuro x reader #rengoku kyojuro x reader #rengoku kyojuro #kyojuro #demon slayer #kimetsu no yaiba #smut #desi the blue eyed kakushi #desi the blue eyed bitch #kyojuro drabble #kyojuro fic #kakushino

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briars-castle · 20 days

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A port mafia Cinderella.

pairings : PmZai x Reader. (dazai pov)

⚠︎︎: arranged marriages mentioned, dark-ish themes?,

♺: Reblog,Request and repeat!

♪♩♬:

Dazai always detested parties. No surprise that Mori always made him attend, however. The port mafia was a very high class organization with many social ties everywhere - for example the high minister of japan himself came to this particular party tonight, some important businessmen or politicians came every time they were held. Most of the time they sought out financial opportunities or some other kind of way they could benefit from the dark underbelly of Yokohama…

No, that wasn’t what Dazai hated - really. He more or less expected and embraced that particular factor of the usual social gatherings. But what he hated was when they would try to forcibly wed themselves into the port mafias social radar. Often times gatherings like the very one he was distancing himself from found a way to call a very sudden engagement, most of the time Mori himself would make the approval. What he said goes, he was the boss after all. Nobody was allowed to argue with him without expecting some sort or repercussions. Another very small portion of the time was just for a scandal. Very rare and very far between but he had seen maybe one or two of them.

There had always been pressure for the mafia executives to be married, not a huge one but enough to cause discomfort. The reality was that the port mafia itself was a complex dance, you wanted power? Marry into it or struggle with a low chance of survival. Dazai got lucky in the sense that he had a secret that him and Mori shared, it was like he took a shortcut. Others however were not so fortunate.

dazai sighed, murmuring something to himself about the stuffiness of the room … he was usually a very extroverted person but he barely knew these people - they acted so sweet as if they wanted to use him, wring him dry and air him out for the world to see - sure, some of the politicians and business leaders brought their children and most of them were his age or around that, heck! He could’ve said some of them were pretty good looking … but they all felt wrong, like he couldn’t trust them no matter how hard he would try. Like no matter how much time he would spend it would always end up with him bleeding out.

it would always end painfully.

He wished Chuuya were here - sure, he was the worst best friend in the world but he was his best friend in the world, his dog even. They were loyal to one another - they trusted one another. Trust was a thing that was hard to come by and rarely given out. Money buys a lot of things - but he knew that it would never buy trust. He wished that Oda where here, the only man to make him change. Maybe he could spread a bit of ‘change’ on how to make this party more sufferable - or at least Ango even! He was stranded.

Suddenly the doors opened again - nobody else really noticed it because they were caught up in la-la land … but he did, he hopped it was someone he could actually stand. But he prayed it wasn’t akutagawa. Dazai already had enough of his failure for one day.

It was a girl, a pretty girl at that. She looked a tad nervous surrounded by everything, he couldn’t blame her. He pitied her - she dressed and seemed like she belonged yet something or another was out of place. One thing that caught his high were her heels, god they looked uncomfortable. I mean, they were glass! Just pure fucking glass. If she took one clumsy step or twisted her ankle the shards would be everywhere. It was entirely unethical, yet he found them pretty. They were a stupid idea - yet a pretty one indeed.

She looked a bit excited too when he got a better look at her, actually. She was breathtaking in her dress, usually he avoided seeing people in that way just because of how dangerous attachment was, Ane-San proved that herself. But the girl was a pitiful sight! He couldn’t let her flail around like a fish out of water - no matter how cruel he was, he was also starving in sheer boredom.

“Excuse me miss? You seem a bit … uhm .. lost, would you care for a drink?” He asked, a little bow to tie the bow of the illusion of a perfect gentleman. The girl turned around and he got a close up of her face, if he thought she looked nice from behind she was gorgeous up front. her eyes were like diamonds and her lips looked so … soft. He got a strange feeling looking at her, he couldn’t explain it. It was like his heart already knew her - like it craved for her.

The feeling was raw. It felt uncomfortable but a good kind of uncomfortable - like he would imagine getting smothered in a warm blanket of joy and misery would feel. He was being idiotic! He barely knew this poor girl - yet he found himself pressing a kiss onto the back of her hand more quickly than he wanted to admit.

“M-my name is (name) - pleasure to meet your acquaintance, if you don’t mind me asking - what’s your name?”

dazai pulled his mouth away, a smile clawing its way upwards to his lips - it was a crooked little grin. It was genuine though - unlike the other people you would find here.

“Dazai, Osamu Dazai - you probably know me by a few of my titles however, but we don’t have to get into that now that you know my name, doll.”

He didn’t want you to get scared of him or make a judgement of him so easily - for now he was Dazai and not the demon prodigy, Not the youngest port mafia executive. It was weird pretending to be your equal.

“Oh - Okay, it’s lovely to meet you, Dazai.”

The girl chuckled - god, he loved when she said his name. Without contempt or malice. It had some kind of loving undertone when you said it … Maybe it was courtesy but he caught himself hoping it was more.

He read somewhere in a book the main character said something along the lines of,

“Falling in love with her was as easy as falling down a rabbit hole - the hard part was not falling in love. It was like climbing upwards out of a cliff with two broken arms.”

He never did understand how true those words were until now. He never did find himself believing in fairytales but he has always believed in common sense. ‘Come on! He just found out the girls name! He hardly knew her, yet he found himself believing in happy ever afters and a light at the end of the tunnel. And to put his symptoms into perspective - his palms were sweaty, knees weak and arms are heavy.

He never wanted to be head over heels for anyone. He knew life was unfair and he never believed in karma - but now he was counting everything he did to deserve this, deserve her.

“mm … there should be a slow dance soon if you would like to join me for that - if you would like something to drink as well we have some wine and maybe a bit of champagne if I look hard enough.”

dazai said, hoping she would say yes. His world felt so dull. the life around him was always contrived, unempathetic, and cruel. So he became all of those things - hardening himself. Yet, this girl was so kind it made him think that maybe there was a tad more kindness than met the eye. Or met his eye, at least.

“I would love that,Dazai.”

The girl giggled - she seemed so excited to dance with him and drink with him, and just as promised the music from the violins filled the room with their song. Dazai was true to his words, it was slow but it wasn’t boring. He would twirl her around and then when the music stopped … he tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and leaned in for a kiss.

It was a soft kiss but it got the message across perfectly fine, and when he pulled away the girl got on her tippy toes to give him another kiss - her fingers finding their way into his hair and his own around her waist.

He was about to ask for her number or something to get closer to her again - maybe to go to her house as his shipping container was a bit crowded and the air a bit stale …

When the clock chimed.

It chimed a total of twelve times, as most of the port mafias social gatherings ran through to the dark hours of the night - the girl however seemed a tad distraught by the sound.

“I….i-im sorry - it was nice meeting you Dazai but I have to go, maybe in another world ..”

no .. no .. no, you were literally slipping through his fingers as you spoke - running away with your glass heels tap-tap-tapping on the marbled ground as the candle light from the chandelier illuminated your dress, as you left the port mafia building he ran after you. He ran and ran until he lost you …

Only leaving a single glass heel.

TAGS 🏷️

@rusmii @atlasnessie @disgracedprodigy

@ruified @chuunai2 @lotus-reblogs

@tsuunara @lovedazai @fyorina @saelique

@lotomber @squigglewigglewoo

@rheeeeeeeesiees @fishii28 @justcallmesakira

Part two will be available once I finish my next fic ! Until then stay safe ! I love you!

check this link for more!

#I think this might me my longest fic EVER #He’s hopeless 💀#osamu dazai x reader #bsd dazai #dazai osamu x reader #dazai x reader #osamu dazai #Pmzai #port mafia #port mafia dazai x reader #Demon prodigy X reader #Pmzai x reader #dazai bsd #dazai osamu #bungo stray dogs #bsd #Bungo gay dogs #pmzai x reader #❥penned by bri!

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sunarintarotea · 9 months

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suna rin wears the same stinky old black beanie every fall and winter i can confirm

he refuses to take it off every season, and it even rolls into spring summer and it’s hard to get him to remove it, even though every one insists he looks better without it, and he has great hair.

but no.

this boy lives in a black beanie.

#☕️—bri speaks #haikyū!!#haikyuu smut #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu #suna rintaro fic #suna rintaro #suna rin #suna rintaro fluff #suna fluff #suna rintarō #suna rintarou #suna drabble #haikyuu drabble #haikyuu fluff #bokuto headcanons #kuroo headcanons

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briology · 9 months

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VERSACE ON THE FLOOR

pairing: model! benimaru x model! black reader genre: smut, fluff content: beni and reader are models under the same company, reader hates beni and beni finds it funny, teasing, oral (f receiving), fingering, aftercare, mentions of drinking a/n: sorry for being gone for a while, i was handling college stuff!

model! benimaru whom you hated with a passion. hated the way he gained a lot of attention from others with just breathing. he knew his looks had too much power, but he uses it to get whatever he wants from the company. whether it'd be a day off, an expensive item, or even a break that is longer than his usual time, he gets it. you hated it, hated it so damn much. like, sure you get what you want, but you're different with it

model! benimaru who you had to do a shoot with for versace. versace being one of your favorite brands, you were excited to do this shoot, but not with beni. oh no no NO. but, as the two top models in your agency, it was perfect for you two to be in the shoot together. but for some reason, beni was a lot toleratable than usual for this shoot. even when he was smirking at your annoyance in the beginning, it didn't bother you as much as he used to. you felt, weird inside. maybe it's the air.

model! benimaru who you have grown closer to after that versace shoot. you actually had forgotten that you hated this guy, but turns out you have some things in common. you had also found out that he never even hated you, but more saw how fun it was for him to tease you. you never thought that you would ever be finding yourself building a close bond with beni, especially your history with him. maybe you realizing that this "beef" was one-sided was the ticket to this.

model! benimaru who invited you over to his penthouse for a drink. you accepted not thinking too much of it. it was just drinks right? just wine (hennessy and sake on beni's part of course) between two people who are horny adults who have had a lot of tension between them since they have laid eyes on each other, nothing was going to happen, you were sure of it. (no you weren't)

model! benimaru who you had too many drinks with. having too much wine, hennessy for beni, it was a mess. you both were both in his kitchen, listening to r&b music, while slowly dancing with each other. with boldness, you pulled him closer to your body. you felt like a kitten in heat when he was close to you. beni felt the same way. the way you looked so gorgeous to him, when all you worse was a shorts bra and some versace shorts. the way your hair suited you perfectfully. god, he needed you as much as you needed him

model! benimaru who had you arching your back from the bed because of the way he was pleasuring you with his tongue. with both of yall's clothes on the floor. holding your legs open while they were struggling to be kept open. making vibrations on your clit by humming as a reaction to you pulling on his hair because of how his tongue was treating you. his fingers then came into contact with your entrance, rubbing it, with a mixture of it being soft yet rough. he inserts two of his fingers inside of you while keeping his tongue inside of you. you can feel yourself letting go at that moment. cumming all over his fingers and tongue.

model! benimaru who ran a bath for the two of you afterwards. washing you up with a nice washcloth, getting every part of your body and giving you messages on your shoulders, your back, your neck, making every part that felt sore, feel much better with the work of his hands.

model! benimaru who cuddles you with care in his arms after the bath, while whispering small praises to you as you begin to fall asleep with the thought of how things would've been different if it wasn't for that versace shoot.

#benimaru shinmon #benimaru x reader #benimaru x black reader #benimaru shinmon x black reader #benimaru shinmon smut #model benimaru #black reader #fire force #enen no shouboutai #anime #bri's works<3

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riabriyn · 9 months

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⊹ ࣪ ˖—Soft Izana Bf hcs !

genre: fluff + strangers to lovers

(This is based on my own opinion ! Not spoiler free)

- A little look into the backstory

- You both met in the pet store when Izana was buying some food for his fish while you were, well... Attempting to steal the hamsters.

- You thought he was cute so you decided just to go over to him and ask for his number.

- You didn't expect he would give it but he did

- You both had started messaging each other for a couple days then, and then Izana asked you on a date.

- At first, He was sort of cold during the first couple months of your situation-ship sort of distancing himself from you

- This was because he was scared to get so attached to someone who might leave him because of his past

- When he did open up to you though, you hugged him and snuggled with him all day assuring him you would always be there to support him no matter what

- Then one thing led to the other then you both got together<3

- Now to the fun part !

- You and Izana have plants scattered all over your apartment.

- You have 2 Betta fishies named Shin and Emma.

- Izana loves playing the guitar for you

- Occasionally you guys have to sing-a-longs.

- Izana hates to admit this but he Loves being a little spoon.

- Considering his past he's very touched starved and clingy.

- So whenever you're out he always has to hold you in some way, whether it be his arm wrapped around your waist, or him holding your hands, pinkies linked, etc.

- Is a light sleeper.

-its probably because He’s used to being on the lookout for danger always.

- a slight movement away from him, he'll wake up and pull you back to him snuggling you tightly.

- He's really good at cooking.

- Whenever he wakes up before you (which is most of the time) he would cook up some delicious breakfast for you<3

- He love love loves to spoil you.

- Considering his job he's very wealthy.

- (In the final timeskip Tenjiku was reformed to an organization that aided orphans, and managed to reach worldwide influence and recognition, so he’s like Rich rich)

- He's like your walking wallet.

- Whatever you like he’ll go ahead and buy it.

- Despite many many protests against him buying whatever you want, he doesn't care. You deserve nothing but the best<3

- Very very very competitive in absolutely everything

- Never holds back during game night

- Wins almost every single game

- Except one, Which is just dance.

- The great and Almighty Izana Kurokawa DOES NOT know how to dance.

- Though it's quite funny and adorable trying his best to beat you at just dance.

- You love gloating after you defeat him.

- But being the petty bf he is he reminds you that he has won all the other games and cockily tells you he'll win next time

- HE LOVES IT WHEN YOU PLAY WITH HIS HAIR.

- Especially when you do tiny braids on it.

- Scolds you when you take his clothes

- But he secretly finds you adorable when you walk around in clothes.

- He's not the best at expressing his feelings but he never fails to let you know that he loves you very much

- Despite how Izana is described; selfish, cruel, and careless. It doesn't matter to you because you love him and he loves you<3

Dedicated to: @sanb3rry

reblogs and comments are greatly appreciated<;3

#bri; writes !#tokyo revengers #tokyo rev x y/n #tokyo rev x you #tokyo rev headcanons #tokyo rev fluff #tokyo rev x reader #izana kurokawa #izana sano #izana imagines #tokyo revengers izana #izana headcanons #izana x reader #tokyo revengers shinichiro #izana x you #izana x y/n

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forgeofthenine · 4 months

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I need to know how the bachelors would react to their partner slipping up and calling them “Daddy”. Pls 🙏

I've been looking forwards to doing this request for a while now, there's something exciting about exploring a classic daddy kink with our favourite men. I hope you don't mind Anon, I added in a surprise Halsin too!

TW: NSFW under the cut, mentions of overstimulation, mentions of sort of exhibitionism (in Halsins)

Calling the bachelors (+Halsin) daddy NSFW headcanons

Dammon

It's a normal night with Dammon when it happens

Despite him having your knees up by your ears, neither of you decided to get very kinky tonight

That is, until he thrusts into you just right and you can't help the noise that comes out

Even if you might be embarrassed by the quiet moan of 'daddy' that escaped you, Dammon certainly isn't

It doesn't phase him, his pace keeping steady as he folds you over and fills you with his cock

It's easy to wonder if he even heard what you'd just said

He quite happily proves that he is listening with his own groan that leaves him next

"Fuck baby, you're taking daddy's cock so well... just like that."

Dammon is more than happy to indulge your daddy kink now he knows about it

Absolute filth leaves his mouth as he praises you for taking 'daddy' so sweetly

The night ends with him asking you to cum for daddy, his voice low and husky as he tries not to cum before you

There's no need to be shy about it now, Dammon himself is hooked just as much as you are

Also the bachelor most likely to refer to himself as daddy outside of the bedroom

Zevlor

Do you want this man to die from being too horny?

You're laid out over his bed, the tiefling between your legs as he goes down on you

It's easy to buck up and into his awaiting mouth, your hands wrapped tight around his horns, a low moan of 'daddy' leaving you

He definitely pauses for a moment when he first hears it, his breath hot against your skin before he dives back in

The mouth working over you seems more excited, frenzied almost, Zevlors own excitement apparent through how he pleasures you

It's only when you're just on the edge, the paladin pulling back and letting his hand do the work in getting you off, a simple command leaving him

"Be good and cum for daddy."

It's impossible not to do as he asks, stars dancing behind your eyes as your lover kisses and nips the bare skin of your thighs

You'll soon find it's not the first time Zevlors been called daddy in bed, but he'd certainly be disappointed if it was the last

Please just ride this man's dick while calling him daddy, he'll get addicted

Rolan

Rolan has you laid across his lap as swift strikes land on your bare ass, a pause for you to count each time it happens

He's more than happy to tell you to stop wiggling, to take your punishment and sit still

What surprises you both is when a loud moan of 'daddy' leaves you instead of the number eight

You'll feel Rolans hand resting against your ass for a moment as you both realise what happened

Soon though, the wizard will break the silence that's settled over you both

"Don't disappoint daddy now, darling, you still have to count."

Rolan absolutely makes the most of this new discovery, teasing you endlessly in the bedroom with your daddy kink

He'll even alter his pet names for you, preferring to call you variations of 'baby' or 'darling' as he bends you over his desk and fucks you

If you aren't teary eyed and babbling out daddy with overstimulation, then Rolan doesn't feel like he's done a good enough job

It doesn't even matter if Rolan is younger than you, he's still incredibly into it when you can't help but call him daddy

Halsin

It's so easy to get wrapped up in Halsin, literally and figuratively

When he has you sat on his lap, god-like cock stretching you beyond belief, strong arms wrapped around you... Well it's easy to get lost in him

It's no surprise then when you let out a high pitched moan, calling the elf daddy as he helps you ride him

Halsins another one that won't be phased, instead easily falling into his role as your daddy

Large, calloused hands wrap around your hips to help as he lets out his own rumbling groan in response

"Just like that, little one. Let out all your noises for daddy to hear."

He's endlessly encouraging of any noises you make, especially when they're part of a kink he didn't realise you have

As patient as the man is, he doesn't last long hearing you call him that before he's flipping you over

The way he fucks you is primal and comforting at the same time, and like any good daddy he makes sure you cum until you're near begging for a break

There's no better daddy out there than Halsin, both in and out of the bedroom, and he has no shame if your companions end up hearing his new nickname

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bbrissonn · 7 months

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𝐚𝐥𝐥-𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐛𝐢𝐭𝐜𝐡 - 𝐥𝐮𝐜𝐚 𝐟𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐥𝐢

summary: in which no matter how much you tried, you were never good enough for him and you decide it was time for things to get messy within the hockey team

disclaimer: english is not my first language and this is not proofread so please excuse any errors and if any words are missing add them in your head :) also this is a work of fiction, this doesn’t reflect how these boys act in real life, and it isn’t how i imagine them acting

warnings: angst, swearing , not proofread

pairing: luca fantili x reader

wc: 5.4k (including lyrics)

a/n: i gave some guys on the team a girlfriend, completely random name so don't go trying to find them lol

guts masterlist

I am light as a feather, I’m as stiff as a board

I pay attention to things that most people ignore

And I’m alright with the movies

That make jokes ‘bout senseless cruelty, that’s for sure

And I am built like a mother and a total machine

I feel for your every little issues, I know just what you mean

And I make light of the darkness

I’ve got sun in my motherfuckin’ pocket, best believe

Yeah, you know me, I

You tried, you really did. You took note of every little things he’d mention, hoping that it would be useful in the long run, hoping he’d noticed how much you cared about him. You waited and waited and waited, but it never happened. All the efforts you made to be the perfect girlfriend for him always went unnoticed, brushed to the side.

You always made sure you looked your best whenever you’d go to his game, wanting to fit the role of the stereotype hockey girlfriend, even though you were far from it. Your body wasn’t as slim and fit as the others and you didn’t have a model like face, but Luca always though you were perfect. You didn’t believe most of time, there were hundreds of girl, prettier girls, that would jump at the occasion to be his girlfriend, so why had he chosen you?

You went to every single home game, even if it’d meant you’d have to stay up late to do homework, you even went to the games at Michigan State. You were always there to support him, but he was never there for you. You knew it was hard for him to always be free, not having access to his phone for a solid three hours during the afternoon, and when he’d get back to his dorm, he’d fall asleep right away. You never really saw him much during the days, with him having all his classes in the morning, while yours were mainly in the afternoon, nights were the only time you could see each other.

Even when you spent time together, it was rarely alone. He was close to all his teammates and apparently spending all afternoon together wasn’t enough for them and they always needed to spend their nights together. You two barely ever got alone time, but you tried not to think about it too much since Luca was always more focused on you than his teammates sprawled around his shared dorm room.

His teammates liked you, you were nice to all of them the moment you met them and they could see how much Luca liked you. Some of them didn’t really understand what he saw in you, something you wish you didn’t know as you overheard them one night during a get together at the senior house.

You had been outside for a while now, talking to your mom on the phone as you walked around the small backyard of the senior house. Luca was with you for the first couple of minutes of your call, talking to your mom a bit before heading back inside and letting you have alone time with her. As you started making your way back to the backdoor, you saw a couple of figures standing there, nothing unsual. You were planning on just walking past them, smiling at them and letting them go along with their conversation until you heard your name.

“Wait, who are we talking about again?” Dylan asked the others, before taking a sip of his beer.

“Y/n.” You heard Johnny answer, and you stopped dead in your tracks. You knew you shouldn’t, it was wrong, but you couldn’t help it. They couldn’t see you since you were on the side of the porch, and no lights were they, you were like a ghost.

“Oh, yeah, totally agree with you man. Don’t get me wrong, she’d nice and all, but like she barely ever talks.” The Duke boy said, making a couple other guys agree with him.

“Exactly, what does he even see in her, anyways?” One of them said, making your smile drop.

“She’s just shy, doesn’t like big groups, that’s all. Once you get to know her, she’s always talking, it’s great ‘cause Luca leaves me alone now. She’s makes him happy, that’s all the really matters.” You recognized Adam say, making your smile grow a little. Over the last six months, you had grown quite close to your boyfriend’s little brother, and hearing him defend you warmed your heart.

“Dude, all we’re saying is he could do better.”

“Whatever, I’m going back inside.” Adam said, and soon you heard the door open and all the figures disappeared. You stood there for a while, thinking about everything that you had heard. Your feelings being hurt a little before shaking it all off and walking back inside, quickly finding your boyfriend, who was standing with his brother.

You never told Luca, or any of them that you had heard their conversation. You knew Luca would get mad at his teammates, and that was the last thing you wanted. You did realize that after that night, Adam started being even nicer to you, always telling you how happy you made your brother, and how thankful he was that you were the one making him this happy. He truly felt like your own little brother in a way.

But something in you changed that day, whenever you’d be having the smallest interaction with any of them, there would always be a voice in the back of your mind reminding you of that conversation. So, you didn’t make much effort to become good friends with any of them, clearly most of you didn’t even think you should be dating their teammate so why would they want to be friends with you?

Luca wasn’t exactly happy that you weren’t that close to anyone, but you were with Adam, so he considered it a win. He always reminded himself that just because his teammates were his best friend didn’t mean they had to be yours too, he just happy none of them hated you.

As time went by, you’d now notice some of the weird looks his teammates would give themselves whenever you’d hug Luca after their game, or when you’d be with him at a party and his arms was always around you. But you didn’t let it bother you, you were happy in your relationship, you didn’t need the opinion of other’s, and honestly, they didn’t really have a right to be judging two people for being in love with one another.

You didn’t know whether or not your boyfriend knew about how some of his best friends felt about your relationship, but you really hoped he didn’t. If he did, it would break you, that he knew what his friends were saying and thinking, but didn’t defend you like his brother had, or that he hadn’t told you about it.

That all changed one cold night in February.

You were currently standing outside of the Yost arena, Luca had texted you barely minutes before telling you to go wait outside for him. You didn’t really understand why, considering how cold it was, but you did anyways. No one else was around, all the spectators had left almost an hour ago, and all the other girlfriends were waiting inside, in the warmth of the arena.

“Hey.” You heard your boyfriends voice, making you turn around with a bright smile.

“Hi, baby. You played amazing!” You told him, rushing over to his warm body and hiding in his arms. The boy chuckled a bit before wrapping his arms around you.

“I need to talk to you about something.” He mumbled after a couple of seconds, making you pull away from his body. Your hands reached down to his arms, that had fallen from your shoulders, your mittens covered hands holding his bare ones.

“What’s up, loves?” You asked, only to be met with a sigh from him. Your smile dropped right away, what was going on?

“I need you to know that I am sorry, okay?” You nodded slightly, confused as to why he was saying that. “I think it’d be better if we weren’t together anymore.”

“What?”

“I just- I need to focus on hockey, and school.”

“Oh.” You whispered, your hands letting go of his and falling next to your body. A heavy sigh left your mouth as you tried your hardest not to cry. “O-okay.”

“So, we’re good?” His question broke you. Not you weren’t, you were far from good. The boy you had fallen in love with in early September had just broken up with you, how were you supposed to be okay with that?

“We’re good.” You lied. Luca smile brightly before giving you and small hug, and before you knew it, he was gone. You were left all alone outside in the freezing cold as he headed back to his friends, ready to enjoy their night, while you were left heartbroken.

Maybe his friends were right after all…

Forgive and I forget

I know my age and I act like it

Got what you can’t resist

I’m a perfect all-American

The next week was hell, everywhere you went, you’d see one of his teammates. It was like they had all mutually agreed to just be everywhere you were, follow you around just to make you remember every single second of every day that your relationship with Luca was over.

But clearly he hadn’t even told him, the text from Adam asking if you two had gotten into a fight since you hadn’t been to their dorm in a couple of days, and Luca was talking about everything but you. Your feelings were hurt a little, that he wasn’t even acting like your break-up fazed him at all, like everything in his life was perfect. It hurt even more that you had to be the one to break to news to his brother, scared that Adam would choose to break off all links of communication the two of you had.

Luckily for you, he didn’t, if anything, to him it just gave you an extra reason to become even closer to him. He knew how much you loved his brother and how much Luca loved you, so he truly didn’t understand why his older brother had done it in the first place. Just because you and Luca weren’t together anymore, didn’t mean you had to lose him too, were his exact words. You knew in that moment that you had a real friend in Adam, one that you wanted to keep for the rest of your life.

You hadn’t gone to any hockey game after that, no matter how much Adam begged, you weren’t ready to go back to the place where your relationship ended. But when the team had made it to the semi-finals of the big ten championship, facing off again Ohio State, you knew you had to be there. Even though you weren’t physically at the games, you were still watching from home, your heart dropping every time Luca’s name would be mentioned.

Being back felt weird, it was a place you had grown so fond off, watching your boyfriend and your so-called friends play the sports they love with each other, befriending all the other girlfriends, it was truly special. But it was so different now, you felt like you didn’t belong here anymore. Adam had tried to convince you to seat in the same seat Luca always had for you, but you didn’t want to, not wanting to face all the other girlfriends yet.

You came with your best friends, so you wouldn’t be alone, and made sure to be near the back rows, you knew the boys always liked to spot people in the crowds, and you didn’t want them to know you were here. You had made Adam promise not to tell anyone you were here, and that you’d wait for him after the game in your car all the way at the end of the parking lot. He was the only one on the team you wanted to see tonight, you came here for him and only him, and because your best friends wouldn’t shut up about going.

Unknown to you, Luca had spotted you the minute he stepped onto the ice. He hated to admit it, but his eyes still searched for you in the crowd, only he was always met with disappointment when he would not find you. Tonight was different, you were here. Part of him felt like he should be happy you were, or even sad, seeing as it was the first he’d seen you since the break-up. But he wasn’t, no he was angry. Why? He didn’t know.

After the game ended, with Adam getting two goals and two assists, your friends had gone home right away, tired from all the yelling they had done during the night. So, you waited alone in your car, making sure to park right under a street light so Adam could spot you easily, and so you could see if any weirdos were approaching.

Luca had left before his brother, Johnny and Gavin walking next to him as they walked out of Yost, and that’s when he saw your car. He knew he should’ve just ignored it, kept walking home, but he couldn’t. He knew you were here for his brother and him only, Adam had told him after Luca corned him after the warm ups. The right thing was to just leave you alone, pretend he didn’t see you, but his legs were moving faster than his brain was.

The loud knock on your window made you jump, yelping at bit at the sound. You looked to your left, only to be met with an angry Luca. You bit your lip slightly before rolling down your window enough so you two could hear each other.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” He asked. His tone was harsh and mean, something you had never heard from him before.

“I am here for Adam, so if you don’t mind, I’d like for you to step away from my car and leave me alone.” You answered him, matching his tone. If he wanted to be a bitch to you after he broke up with you, then he better be expecting the same energy back.

“You shouldn’t be here.”

“And who are you to be telling me this? Last time I checked, this is a public parking lot, so I have every right to be here.” You said, you knew that wasn’t what he meant, but you didn’t care. He had no right to walk over here, and talk to you like this.

“You know that’s not what I fucking meant.”

“Am I not allowed to cheer for my school? Is that illegal now, Luca?” You said harshly. Luca’s eyes were staring into yours, and you could tell he was holding back from yelling, which scared you a little.

“You have some nerves-”

“Oh, I have some nerves? You broke up with me, Luca, not the other way around, and your stupid if you think that’s gonna stop me from coming to see Adam play. I am not here because I wanted to see, if that’s what you’re thinking. I wouldn’t even be here if it wasn’t for Adam. So, get whatever stick you have shoved up your ass out of it and leave me alone.” You said firmly before closing your window and going back on your phone. Luca started knocking over and over on your window, but you didn’t move. You were done with this for the night. After about a minute or two, the boy ended up sending you a text, making you roll your eyes.

Luca

ur so fucking petty omg, grow the fuck up and get out of your car

You let out a scoff before turning to look at him with a ‘are you serious’ face. If you were being petty, you didn’t even know what word was describing him at the moment. Thankfully, Adam arrived and the two of them began bickering like little children until the older boy eventually walked away, not before sending you a death glare, and the younger one joined you in your car.

You started driving immediately, neither of you talked, but you feel Adam’s gaze on you every once in a while. This was exactly why you didn’t want to come to the games before, something was bound to go wrong.

“I am sorry.” He mumbled after a couple of minutes as the car was stopped at a red light. When you turned your head to look over at him, his eyes were already looking in your direction.

“It’s whatever. He’s an asshole.”

I am light as a feather, I’m as fresh as the air

Coca-Cola bottles that I only use to curl my hair

I got class and integrity

Just like a goddamn Kennedy, I swear

With love to spare, I

About a week later, you were laying in bed, your laptop on your lap as you watched the team celebrate their win. Adam had played wonderfully and you couldn’t be prouder of him. Your heart still dropped a little every time the commentators would mention Luca, and even more when they showed the boys after the game.

You knew it was wrong, you shouldn’t be thinking this way, but you couldn’t help it. He looked so good with his slightly damp hair, the wide smile on his face as he hugged all of his best friends making you smile as well. But you quickly reminded yourself of what he had done and said, making you close your laptop in a heartbeat.

You then sent a text to Adam, congratulating him for their victory before going to bed. Well, you just laid in bed in the dark, your phone’s screen being the only source of light. Adam answered you almost an hour later, thanking you and saying he’d call you the next morning. You went to sleep not too long after answering him, wishing him a good night and a safe flight home.

It was almost noon when the younger Fantili boy called you the next day, you could tell he had gone to bed very late, well early this morning. His voice was still a little stuffy like he had just woken up, making you giggle. The two of you chated for a while before he informed you the hockey team was throwing a party that was pretty much open to all students. He hadn’t invited you directly, but made sure to state very clearly that you were always welcomed if you wanted to stop by for a bit.

You almost laughed at his words, he was a little delusional if he though you’d like the spend the night with your drunk ex who’d probably be making out with a girl the whole time. He was a little sad when you told him you probably wouldn’t come, but he understood, especially after whatever Luca had said to you last week.

Weirdly enough though, as the clock hit seven at night, you were standing in your bathroom, getting ready for said party. Why? Revenge. You knew deep down what you were about to do was fucked up, but you didn’t care. They deserved it, all of them, Luca more than the other, but they still did. All those people who pretended to be your friend, only to act like you didn’t even exist the moment you and Luca broke up. Not to mention that conversation you over heard was constantly replaying in your head since your break-up. Yeah, they deserved it.

Realistically, your plan wasn’t that mean, you’d just be ruining a night celebrating a victory they had worked so hard for during the whole season. You had gotten some information through Adam that the boys always “shit talked” some of the other girlfriends, of course without mentioning what you had heard from them. Long story short, at least one of them all had a problem with someone’s girlfriend, but they never said anything to the boyfriends. Pretty fake in your opinion, because truth be told, they weren’t really brothers like they always said, they didn’t like some at least.

When you walked into the senior house, the place wasn’t that full, but this wasn’t any surprise to you considering it had started almost four hours ago already and most people had probably went home by now. Finding Adam was pretty easy, he was in the kitchen refilling his cup when you gently tapped his shoulder. A wide smile appeared on his face when his eyes met yours and his arms quickly wrapped around your waist.

“You came?” He asked surprised as the two of you pulled away and he grabbed an empty clean cup for you.

“Got a little bored, I guess.” You told him, filling your cup with water. You hadn’t came here to get drunk out of your mind like all the others here, you came here with an endgame.

“Well ‘m glad you did. I think I saw that girl you always talk about from your English class, you-”

“Cool, I’ll go find her!” You lied before walking away from him. Honestly, you didn’t really care that she was here, your eyes not bothering to find her as you walked through the house, spotting the group of girlfriends immediately. They were all chatting between them, but quickly stopped when they realized you were standing there.

“Oh, please, don’t let my presence disturb your little conversation.” You said with a smirk, only making all of them look at you with weird looks.

“What’re you doing here?” Ethan’s girlfriend, Hailey, asked. The two of you were never really close, same with Nolan’s girlfriend, Taylor.

“I just really wanted to say how it’s so cute that you’re all able to be friends with each other and like one another, unlike all the guys. Real cute.”

“The fuck does that mean?” This time it was Jacob’s girlfriend, Bianca, who spoke. You looked over at her, sending a massive grin before answering.

“I am just saying, some of them are real good at pretending to be your friends, but then go shit talk about you to each other.” You said, before showing them the text message Adam had sent you. It clearly stated that they all talked about the other guys’ girlfriends badly, but never in front of whoever they were dating. Clearly just showing that they’re “we’re brothers” thing they’d always say whenever a new girlfriend was introduced was complete bullshit.

“How do we know it’s not fake?”

“It happened to me too. Heard a couple of them talking about me outside one night. Go ask your boyfriends if you don’t believe me.” You shrugged before walking away from them. A smirk was plastered on your face as you stood outside, sipping on your water, knowing the girls were confronting the boys at the same moment.

You were standing outside for a couple of minutes before Adam joined you, giving you a stern look.

“What’d you do?”

“Nothing.” You said, your smirk only growing as you looked inside, the house now empty of all the strangers. The only people left were the players and their girlfriends, who all looked like they were not having a pleasant conversation. Well, that was until all the guys started yelling at each other.

“Y/n.” Adam mumbled sternly, making you roll your eyes.

“I just told them the truth. About how you all talk shit about them behind their backs, but then none of you have the guts to say it to each other. I mean, why would they right, you couldn’t tell me or Luca.” Suddenly, you found yourself angry at the boy in front of you. He had let both you and Luca that your couple was loved by all of them, let you believe they were all your friends. His face turned white at your words, only making you scoff.

“Y/n…”

“It’s pathetic really, all that bullshit about you guys being like brothers, but then you pull some shit like this.” You cut him off. Right as Adam was about to say something else, the sliding door behind you opened and your body was pulled inside the house.

Forgive and I forget

I know my age and I act like it

Got what you can’t resist

I’m a perfect all-American Bitch

With perfect all-American lips

And perfect all-American hips

I know my place

I know my place and this is it

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Someone asked as you now stood infront of everyone, all the guys looking at you with angry eyes, while the girls all hugged each other, some of them crying.

“I think the real question here is, what the fuck is wrong with all of you? Talk shit behind our backs and then acting like your our friends five minutes later. If you don’t like someone, don’t fucking pretend like you do and then shit talk them when they can hear you.” You spat, your eyes looking between all of them until you spotted Luca, who was standing all alone in a corner. “Hoping that your “brother’s” goes to shit ‘cause you don’t like who they’re dating. Seriously, how old are you? How insecure of yourself do you have to be to say things like this?”

The house was silent after, all the girls were nodding at your words. The boys, well at least the guilty ones, all looked at the ground, while the innocent ones looked angry and pissed, but not at you anymore, at each other.

When none of them said anything for a solid minutes, you just scoffed and made your way out of the house. You had done what you came here to do. You started walking down the sidewalk, back towards your dorm, when you heard someone call out your name. You turned around, only to see Luca chasing after you.

“I didn’t know, I swear-”

“I know you didn’t, Luca.” You cut him off with a soft smile.

“I didn’t break up with you because of them. I really like you, I really do. You’re amazing, Y/n. But, I just… I don’t want a relationship right now.” He explained, your smile turning into a sad one.

“I get it. I want you to be happy, Lu, and if that means us not being together, then I’m okay with it.” It pained you to say it, but it was true. All you wanted for the boy was to be happy, and if that meant you having to leave his life, you were okay with it.

“‘M not saying never, though. The way I feel about you, I’ve never felt this way for anyone before. Like… I don’t how to explain it-”

“Right person, wrong time?” You asked with a slight smirk on his face, making the boy in front of you smile slightly.

“Yeah.”

“Let me know whenever the right time comes, yeah?” You asked softly, the boy nodding slightly before resting his forehead against yours.

“I’m sorry about how I broke up with you, you deserved a better explanation.” He whispered, closing his eyes as he let his body relax. Your right hand moved up, cupping his cheek and you could feel him lean into your touch.

“It’s okay, Lulu.”

“But it’s not. I shouldn’t… I shouldn’t have done it that way. And I shouldn’t have came to your car and talked to you like that. I am so sorry, baby.” He said, as snow started falling from the sky. You could tell how deeply he meant his words, his voice cracking slightly.

“Hey, look at me.” You whispered, gently tapping his cheek that you were still holding. After a couple of seconds his eyes opened and stared right back at yours. “It’s okay. It’s in the past.”

“You should hate me.”

“I don’t think I could ever hate you, Luca.” You admitted, bitting your lip gently as the boy smiled down at you. “I really need to go home.”

“I’ll walk you.”

“It’s alright. I think they need you more than I do.” You said, nodding towards the senior house, making Luca sigh a bit.

“Always have to clean up your mess, don’t I?” He joked, making you giggle slightly.

“I’ll see you around, Lu.” You mumbled before pressing a kiss to his other cheek and walking away from him. The Fantili boy stood there for a bit, a smile on his face as he watched you make your way back to your dorm. Once you disappeared at the end of the street, the boy turned around and slowly started making his way back to the house.

When he walked in, all the girls were gone, and the boys were now just all yelling at each other. Some were trying to calm the tension that was rising in the room, but didn’t succeed. Only, when Luca walked in, the room went quiet and everyone looked at him. Luca’s eyes found Adam’s, and the younger boy immediately knew what had happened out there, well almost. He for sure thought they had gotten back together, but he was close enough.

“God, don’t tell me you got back with her?” Johnny said harshly, making Luca’s smile flatten as he looked over to his “best friend”.

“Why do you care? Last time I check, who I date isn’t any of your business.” Luca sassed, making his younger brother smile slightly.

“She ruined the night!” One of the guys called out, making Luca roll his eyes.

“She said the truth. Maybe if you guys hadn’t talked behind their backs, none of this would’ve happened. I’m going home.” The boy mumbled before leaving the senior household once again, Adam following behind him.

“So, are you guys back together?” The forward asked after a couple of minutes of them walking back to their dorm.

“No. But, in the future we will, I know it.”

All the time

I’m grateful all the time

I’m sexy and I’m kind

I’m pretty when I cry

Oh, all the time

I’m grateful all the time (Greatful all the fucking time)

I’m sexy and I’m kind

I’m pretty when I cry

When summer came around, you had promised both Fantili boys you’d keep close touch with them, especially Adam since he’d be heading off to Columbus next season, which pained you a little, but you were happy for him.

As the months passed by, you and Luca talked more and more every day, something Adam noticed and was quick to bring up to his brother. Luca was smiling at his phone all the time, and overall was just in a better mood than when you two had broken up. The older brother shrugged him off, claiming he was imaginating things, but they both knew it was a lie.

You were over the moon when you arrived in Michigan, only to find that both brothers were already there, and a time to meet was quickly set. During your little hang out, it was clear to Adam that you and Luca were truly meant to be together, you both had giant smiles whenever you’d be talking to the other. For a majority of the night, it was mainly just the two of you in your own little world, but Adam didn’t care, Luca was happy, you were happy, and that’s all that mattered to him.

“Don’t fuck this up, dude.” Adam whispered in his brother’s ear as the two of them hugged goodbye. Luca had admitted to him that he was planning on asking you out soon, something that almost made the younger boy scream.

“I won’t.” And he didn’t. He asked you out, again, and you said yes, again, a week later. The two of you were just hanging in your dorm, you were complaining about how much homework you already had when he just blurred the question out. You were a little shock, but quickly agreed.

When Luca told his teammates the two of you were back together, he received some questioning looks, but he just ignored them. He thought you were perfect, and that’s all that mattered to him. He didn’t care if his friends didn’t like you, he did and they’d need to learn how to deal with you being around even if they didn’t like you.

You made him happy, and that’s all they should care about.

#bri writes #guts series #luca fantilli #luca fantilli imagine #luca fantili blurb #luca fantilli x reader #luca fantilli fluff #luca fantilli angst #umich hockey #umich hockey imagine #umich hockey angst

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jeongheart · 1 year

Text

03:45 am

summary: late night snack run with chan.

w.c: 1.2k

tags: established relationship, fluff.

a.n: chan in the newest code ruined my brain, he's just so boyfriend coded.

as always, english is not my first language so sorry in advance for any mistakes. leave your thoughts if you like, it means a lot.

You've tossed and turned more times than you can count in the last half hour, the clock impassively marking 03:45 am with its big red numbers. You sigh tired and put the device back on the nightstand to turn around once more; the bed was warm on your side because you been lying in the same spot for hours. You touched Chan's side, it was frozen and with the sheets in place.

With a slight groan due to the sudden movement of your muscles you got out of bed, you didn't bother to wrap yourself up and you dragged your feet across the room towards the living room, you knew exactly where your partner was at this time and, after drinking water, you went in search of him.

The study door was locked, so as not to disturb and not be disturbed. The house was completely silent, except for the faint sound of keys being pressed and papers falling to the floor from time to time.

You gently knocked the door to announce your presence, and a few seconds later, you made yourself present in the room. Chan was hunched in front of the computer, his nose was so close to the monitor that for a second you feared that the fluorescent colors would end up engulfing him, taking him to a world of musical tracks to be arranged.

Around him was all kinds of garbage, except for food wrappers, you could imagine that it had been a long time since he eaten anything and you shook your head as you approached his figure. He always had that bad habit, nothing else existed when he worked; no matter how many times you told him it seemed like your words went in one ear and out the other.

When you were almost two centimeters away, you realized that he had his headphones at full volume, an unreleased song was playing loudly and surrounding everything around him, that's why he hadn't heard the door before and hadn't greeted you when you walked in. Between the darkness of the room, the loud music and his concentration he almost seemed to be absent.

Not wanting to scare him, you put your hand on his shoulder, he didn't flinch from your touch until you put a little more force in your grip. Finally returning to the real world, he took off his headphones to leave them on the table in front of him and looked you straight in the eye.

His eyes were a little red after so many hours of watching screens, and his expression danced between confusion and exhaustion.

"What are you doing?" He asks you in a whisper.

Taking your hand off his shoulder, you moved it up to his face, caressing his cheek gently. Chan unconsciously relaxed and placed all the weight of his body on your hand, still looking at you.

"I couldn't sleep" You answer simply.

Chan laughed softly, a clear sign of his exhaustion, and with his right hand he took yours (which you weren't using to caress his face) and guided you to his lap, you let out a little cry of surprise at the sudden change of position but you let him accommodate you to his liking.

When you were comfortably seated, Chan hugged your waist with both arms and rested his head on the space between your neck and your shoulder, where upon feeling the smell of your shampoo and your perfume he sighed happily and finally closed his eyes. You kept busy those seconds playing with his hands that were still tightly gripping the lower part of your body.

You could feel his breath against your neck, he was freezing and you still had the heat of the sheets on you.

"Let's go out for a little bit" You told him when you felt his breathing become heavier. Chan let out something similar to a growl, you didn't know if he heard you or had already fallen asleep.

"It's late" You almost couldn't understand what he said, his lips were so close to your skin that the sound was almost lost.

You moved your head a little to make him pay attention to you, your heart sank a little when you saw how a small hint of sadness crossed Chan's expression for taking him out of his comfortable position against you. "I'm hungry and you need to stretch your legs, besides, how long has it been since you've eaten something?"

Chan looked away at the question, and there you got your answer. "I have to finish, love" He made a gesture to lift you from his lap and return the chair to its place in front of the computer to resume his work.

"Ten minutes, a bit of fresh air will do you good" You grabbed his face with both hands so he couldn't look away or question you, you were like this for few seconds; just staring into each other's eyes. You could feel how Chan's face was starting to heat up from the closeness and, letting out a nervous giggle, he nodded his head.

You laughed and kissed him on the tip of the nose "Don't forget to bundle up".

The walk to the convenience store was relatively short, Chan was telling you details about the work he been doing so far and how proud he was of how everything was turning out. You listened attentively, excited by his happiness and without letting go of his hand in the ten blocks it took to get to the store.

The automatic door greeted you with its characteristic sound, as did the worker behind the counter who offered you a warm smile despite the late hour and the cold January air that swept in with you. "What do you want to eat?" Chan began to drag you through the corridors of the place in search of whatever and anything to fill his stomach.

You followed him closely as he went through each shelf with the initiative of a small child, showing you package after package full of colors no matter what it was (salty, sweet, bittersweet), unable to decide what to finally buy. You laughed when you saw that he placed each package that caught his attention in the cart you were pushing, his work and the deadlines already forgotten by the promise of eating delicious things.

After a few more minutes of indecision, you finally made it to the checkout to pay for the items. The cashier laughed seeing the various items you carried (from spicy noodles to coconut ice cream to cheese sticks). Chan ended up paying for the purchases even though you insisted that you could separate the bill, he simply ignored your speech and took the three bags full of food while you followed him out of the store, reproaching him for his actions.

"I'm not listening, I'm made of wood, I have fish ears~" Your partner crooned as he began the walk back to the apartment, you rolled your eyes and decided that it was a hopeless case so you had to accept your defeat.

"Next time I'll pay" You told him as you took one of the bags he was carrying to take his hand instead, you didn't know what time it was but you didn't care at that moment. Chan was laughing out loud (so much that you were afraid that he would wake up the people who were sleeping in the houses on the side of the road) and he looked more relaxed; a fond smile appeared on your face and you squeezed your partner's hand tightly.

"Thank you for getting me out of the house, and from my own head, love. You were right, I needed it" Chan stopped walking to press you against his body and envelop you in a warm hug, you breathed in his aroma and let his presence envelop you completely.

#stray kids fluff #bang chan fluff #bang chan x reader #stray kids imagines #stray kids scenarios #skz soft thoughts #skz scenarios #skz imagines #skz x reader #stray kids x reader #skz fluff #kpop scenarios #kpop imagines #bri writes

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