i think it's disheartening to come to the realization that you're not very bright, you're not particularly good at anything, don't have a dream or a goal you wish to accomplish... just existing with no purpose

have the biggest urge to self-destruct just so I can feel something

can't stop feeling like a fraud, i'm manipulating everyone into thinking i'm something that I'm not. i'm a horrible person, always have been and always will be. no point in trying to change it.

it always dawns on me how disposable i am. yes i can be useful to people when they want me to be but the truth is nobody truly needs me. what i can give people, which isn’t much to begin with, can be found anywhere from anyone else. i’m not special and i know that. i imagine myself not present in the lives of the people i love and it’s clear they wouldn’t be missing out on much. not to mention how it feels like people only merely entertain me, maybe out of pity than anything else. i’m only as good as people want me to be and when they don’t want me anymore there isn’t anything i can say or do that’ll convince them i’m worthwhile. i am nothing.

i'm just a shell of a person. i have no desires. i don't want to do anything. get attached to anyone. leave my house. live. just want to physically fade the same way my mind has.

does anyone else get tired of how repetitive they are? i just feel like i’m going in circles and circles talking about how i feel and what has caused me to feel that way but have no power to break the cycle. i’m tired of being tired. i just wish something would change.

does anyone also suffer from body-focused repetitive behaviours (like trichotillomania and skin picking) i really want to talk about it but i don't see many people do that on here

edit: i forgot to mention on this post that i made a bfrb safe space discord server! feel free to join here:

scam accounts

there are a bunch of accounts going around pretending to be palestinian to steal money.

i got an ask from @/asneta-amed that said this:

so i tried to ask a few questions to make sure it was legit and i asked them "where is your family in gaza right now?" and i got blocked immedietly:

if you get contacted by this account report them. you can also check out this post that has more information about active scam accounts to watch out for:

y'know for a bitch who requires attention 24/7, I sure don't know what to do with myself when I get it

the love i crave is creating the biggest void in my chest. i don't think any kind of love will be able to fill it at this point. but i still want to be loved anyway... loved wholly, intensely, and unconditionally.

forever stuck between am i real and is everybody else real

Boycotting products and brands for Palestine

I understand seeing all those info-graphics of lists of products and brands to boycott might be a bit overwhelming besides the big ones such as Starbucks, McDonald's, Disney, etc. and i haven't seen this site shared as much so here it is:

This site has a database of all the brands/products that are actively supporting the genocide and you can use their search bar which makes it easier to see which products that you use personally that do support the genocide.

Here is an example:

Plus, if you search a product that isn't listed in the database and you have information to prove that they do support Israel, you can click on the feedback link, check off the box and provide sources to add it to the database.

Protest if you're able to and keep boycotting. From the river to the sea, Palestine will be free.

lovemelovemelovemelovemelovemelovemelovemelovemeloveme

i must have a big "hurt me" sign on my fucking forehead because that is the only logical explanation for the way people have treated me, especially lately

wanna get drunk and feel okay for a little while

having a homophobic family is not for the weak. 0/10 would not recommend.