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ravenwooduk · 5 months

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Week 3: Ravenwood Long-Pigs vs Florida Men

Pluck just ‘ain’t enough!

In the pre-match briefing the coaching staff used the predictions from Goblin Gambling as a motivational tool to inspire the Long-Pigs players. “We are facing a solid, if a bit scaly outfit in the Florida Lizardmen, on paper they are bigger and stronger than us, with thicker armour and a big guy with sharp teeth but we have a slight numerical advantage and the edge on pace. We will have to bring our skills from the practice field to bear if we are to cause an upset here. Our secret weapon for this game is unconventional catcher Tomas Hawken, he loves getting stuck in to contact and is and the pace and mentality to take on any on the Florida Roster.”

Having re-worked defensive formations special for the game and signed Blitzer Dolph Xandersson the night before the game to add a little bulk the the lightweight human team, the Long-Pigs were delighted to win the toss and elected to kick off.

Halfling Tin Pot Buffet-Runner kicked the ball deep, behind a formidable line of greater lizards. After some aggressive blocking by the Sauri, two humans were down with Ivan ‘sick note’ Schulz pushed around and only upright because of his intense contact training on the blocking sled. The ball was recovered neatly and a lightweight cage formed behind the scales screen.

Rather than engage the wall of scales head on, a brace of players swept round either flank of the wall to harrass the lighter Skink and Chameleon Players and force them to fight or flee. Gaspedal worked his way in to cover the ball carrier while Hawken and Rache dropped back so as not to be out paced should the skinks break from their protective screen. A few blocks were thrown but only where the odds favoured the home team.

One of the caging skinks fell to injury but Gaspedal’s threat was neutralised by star saurus Frox and the cage reformed to the visitors left, this time with Sauri and Kroxigor forming the pillars. Bold skink sss cut up the open channel and into scoring range, with thrower Rache in hot pursuit.

The saurus blocker duo Zitz and Learherhead, standing shoulder to shoulder presented quite a puzzle for the Long-Pigs blitzers. They had been isolated from the cage which weakened it considerably, but the humans could not afford to commit three players per saurus as they needed to prevent the ball advancing upfield and stop any scoring threats. Gaspedal continued to threaten, being knocked down time and again for his trouble and Rache embarked on a personal quest to beat Chupathingy into the ground. The with minor casualties on both side, stalemate was broken when a brutal blow from Long-Pigs captain Kurgan von Bismarck sent Leatherhead off the field for treatment freeing up enough manpower to surround the cage and take the ball. Sensing the inevitable onslaught, Chupathingy dodged into the end zone and chameleon Gibbles darted free to close the gap and pass for the score.

The roar of the home crowd and the mountain breeze conspired to spoil the pass which drifted in field in front of Rache. With receivers able to take the ball out of reach of all Florida players and no one to interfere with a go ahead end to end touchdown in front of the home fans, Rache fumbled the pickup, the first of several handling errors from the Long-Pigs thrower. A block later saw Rache knocked back and the chameleon recovering the ball and passing to open the Florida account 0:1 at the second attempt.

The Bloodweiser-infused recovery buffet saw all the home players available to play while the Lizardmen were fielding a reduced team. Having squandered the chance to take the lead, it was important for the Long-Pigs to get on the scoreboard while trying to reduce the effectiveness of the Florida Men for the second half. The humans went about flattening the three-man front line while sending three receivers down field, the two extra players were held back to protect Rache (or protect the ball)

The Lizards responded by knocking out Beck and flanking the other two receivers to counter the scoring threat. With some solid blocking and a big hit from Hawken to remove the coverage for top scorer Johan Blitzen who gathered the long pass and sped over the line with time left for either team to score again. 1:1

Another restart although this time one more of the skinks had recovered, reducing the deficit. The Long-Pigs used the same defensive formation that had served them so well earlier in the half and the Lizards set up a front-heavy strategy to drive forward immediately.

Baron Shadenfreude’s kick fell short and the instinctive chameleons reacted while the ball was in the air, immediately scampering across the backfield to hand the ball to the swifter skink Chupathingy who burst forward behind a blitzing saurus.

Not wanting to leave anything to chance, the home side prepared a counter attack and surrounded the ball carrier before big hitting Rufus Zerg-Jaegar smashed the skink from his feet and into the apothecaries tent. The ball bouncing neatly to Tin Pot, ready to spearhead the counter attack.

Seeking revenge for the loss of Chupathingy, Karma and Frox combined to hit the poor halfling so hard that it split his trademark helmet in half ending his short life with the ball bouncing to Karma. Simultaneously the front line exploded knocking out another halfling and Kroxigor Spikeyboi seriously injuring von Bismarck. Unable to regain the lead, the lizards closed in on every available opposing player.

Flying back from his advanced position, Amadeus Beck and Zwerg-Jaeger put Frox down to open a line for Tomas Hawken to blast Karma from his feet with the ball bobbling in field. As the half came to a close, Rache had to evade the two Sauri flanking him, gather the ball and launch a pass to one of the receiver, he fell at the first hurdle and the half finished 1:1.

The second half saw the humans empty the bench with all available players taking the field against a depleted seven lizardmen. The ball was kicked deep and some timekeeping anomaly reduced the second half game time. After some tame blocking, Blitzen made a move forwards with Rache and Hawken dropping back but again fumbling the ball. The visitors dropped into a zone defence with one saurus advancing to sack Rache.

With Gaspedal free and Blitzen in scoring range, Rache gathered the ball at the second attempt and traversed the field, only to miss throw the pass which flew out of his hand and handed behind him, close to the Long-Pigs goal line leaving the rest of the team flat footed and dangerously close to their scaly opposition.

The covering saurus closed on the ball with chameleons Karma and Gibbles breaking from coverage to advance on the ball while the remaining players hit their nearest opposition player, knocking several down and injuring Stefan Gunderson. Beck and Hawken combined to relieve the pressure on the ball and Rache barely managed to evade the incoming players to recover the ball and position himself deep with dump off options either side. A sea of scales descended, knocking Rache to his back (not before he flicked the ball to Tomas Hawken) and surrounding ball carrier and nearby support players.

Some agility from Shadenfreude and Beck set up Dolph Xandersson to clear a way for Hawken to dodge free and take the ball out of range of the lizards, but he stumbled leaving the ball on the floor and stunning himself on the Astrogranite. The Sauri cleared Dolph of the ball and Karma scooped up the ball to take the lead 2:1.

With time against them, the Long-Pigs set up to try and score quickly to draw level and to hope for a miracle in order to win. Tying up potential defenders with Rache passing early to Blitzen who cut upfield to assist with a block taking the ball into an advanced position. The Kroxigor cut a gap for Zits to plant a bell-ringing sack on Blitzen whose last action before being taken off the field was to lay the ball down out of easy reach of any of the defending players. Rache gathered the ball and handed it to Amadeus Beck who ran clear to bring the game back level at 2:2.

Almost all knocked out players recovered on both sides as everyone wanted to make the difference between winning and losing. The Long-Pigs split their team with some angling to deny the Florida team any scoring opportunity and others hoping to recover the onside kick.

The Florida Men wanted it more and burst forward as the ball was kicked with the kroxigor and sauri arcing round to screen block the defenders and create a running channel for Gibbles, the intended scorer, Karma secured the ball but the effort of closing the gap to pass meant the ball did not reach its intended receiver.

With no time left to score and the only opposing player in scoring range Spikeyboi the Kroxigor, Baron Shadenfreude called the players in and with several assists, the angry halfling pitched the crocodilian beast into the crowd.

Despite beating the spread to earn a draw against a stronger team, the Long-Pigs players were disappointed not to win. The hope is that the fans will not turn on Rache who was nominated man of the match, it is hoped that this will boost his confidence for future games.

With the captain out for the next week, the debate has begun for who should replace him in week four. The Baron has been vocal in pushing his own candidacy but it is more likely to be Anders Gaspedal, cool in contact and willing to put himself on the line, rookie thrower Rache has some of the attributes required, but he probably needs to focus on his own performance.

RIP Tinpot Buffet Runner

Video by Grumpy Gorg

#long-pigs #mml #blood bowl 3

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