#bffrry
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getting stoned w bffrry omg!!!!
switched it up a lil but !!!! here you go :)
. . .
"Can you explain it to me again?"
Harry huffs out a breathy laugh and nods, gently taking the blue and green bong from Y/N's grasp. The stupid contraption looks effortlessly small in his large hands and it makes an involuntary pout appear on her face as he shows her, once more, how to hit the bong.
"I promise it's not as difficult as it seems," he says as he packs the weed into the bottom portion. "Just... whatever you do, don't blow out."
Y/N's face wrinkles. "Now all I'll be able to focus on is accidentally exhaling."
"You won't," he shakes his head as he pats around the carpeted floor, searching for his neon pink lighter. "You're a smart girl. It's not too different from that bubbler we smoked from at Lea's party a few months back."
Y/N shrugs. "Can you go first?"
Harry nods. For the entire duration of their friendship, Y/N's figured out one thing to be true about Harry: he makes everything seem effortless. It's annoying, really, how good he is at everything — bowling, mini golf, running, knitting. Every activity they've tried together, he's been impossibly excellent at it, even if it was his first time.
Another thing he's annoyingly good at?
Smoking weed.
She's not sure how he convinced her to smoke from the bong he keeps on the top of the dresser instead of their usual joint, but he's Harry, so of course she said yes. She watches intently as he easily maneuvers the different parts of the bong, inhaling the smoke, holding it, and exhaling it in one smooth pull. Her face remains in nervous rumple when he passes it to her.
"Here, I'll light it for you," he says, reading the anxious expression on her face. "I'll pull the piece for you, too. All you have to do is inhale, okay?"
She nods and swallows harshly before placing her lips at the mouthpiece. Harry glances up at her to make sure she's comfortable before he flicks the lighter, setting the bowl ablaze. He murmurs out a comforting "good", then pulls the stem before nodding curtly; a silent tell to inhale.
Y/N does and it's a lot less graceful than Harry made it seem. She breathes in too quickly so she immediately starts coughing with watery eyes. Instantly, he grabs his reusable water bottle from the nightstand and hands it to her, rubbing a soothing hand over her back.
"You're good, you did good," he says, though she's sure he's just lying to her at this point, "Atta girl, yeah?"
Once her wheezy coughs finally cease, she darts a poignant look his way.
"Never again." she mutters. "Roll me a joint."
Harry scrambles to grab his rolling papers and grinder.
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Remember Me*
Summary: The one where you and your best friend, Harry, reminisce over the first time he ever ate you out.
Word Count: 3.1k
Content Warning: 18+, smut, brief daddy kink, mention of knife kink + blood kink, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, pre-consented somnophilia, not suitable for Ramadan!
“There you go, good girl. Just like that. Cum for me, Bee. Right now.”
You squirm, fingers curling into the silky sheets below as you suck in a quiet breath.
You can feel his lips on your neck. Your chest. Your inner thighs. Soft, gentle, devious. He’s everywhere. Purring in your ear, holding your hips in his hands. Keeping you just where he wants you like you’re nothing but a toy for him to play with.
You’ve never been so close. So satisfied, so pleasured. So ready to let go.
And then…you wake up.
Your lashes flutter as you slowly come to. The bedroom is dark. Still. You can hear the fan in the corner of the room and Harry’s soft inhales from somewhere beside you. Your heart is thumping hard and heavy against your ribcage while your dream slowly dissipates into reality. Disappearing into the back of your mind as you remind yourself where you really are.
And then you realize that Harry’s not beside you but below you. His breathing louder and heavier than it was before.
You look down.
And there he is, large body settled between your spread thighs as he holds you open and stares lovingly at the mess you’ve made.
And suddenly, your dream doesn’t feel so distant as you blink the sleep from your eyes and whisper, “Har?”
He glances up, pretty green eyes somehow bright even in the dark. He smiles and his lips glisten. “Hi, baby. Were you having a nice dream?”
You take in a sharp inhale and nod once. “Ye—yeah.”
“Good.” He dips down to kiss your hip. “Hope I didn’t ruin it for you.”
“No…no, I just…I…I thought I was…”
“I know,” he murmurs and kisses the other side. “I know, Bee. And you need me to fix it, don’t you?”
You blink.
“Kept whimpering for me,” he says. His palms dance down the side of your body. Squeezing lightly as though to reassure you. “Begging me to make you cum…to touch you…taste you. Said you needed my tongue.”
Your chest feels heavy as you watch him ghost his mouth up your stomach.
“And I wanted to help,” he tells you. “Wanted to make it better for you.”
He stops, but only to look up and find you again.
“Is that all right, sweet girl?” he whispers.
You nod quickly. After all, the two of you made an agreement months ago that waking each other up with sex was more than all right. You don’t do it too terribly often, but the times when you do…
You almost start to pant.
“Good,” he says, grinning once more as he runs his thumb along your aching cunt. “But I want you to do something for me, yeah?”
“Yeah…”
He moves his mouth to your inner thigh. “Want you…” He travels up your skin toward your pussy. “To tell me…” He brushes his lips over your clit. “What you were dreaming about.”
You feel yourself start to squirm, the warmth of his breath over your cunt enough to send shivers along your spine. “I…I was dreaming about you.”
“Yeah? Better have been,” he teases with a smirk. “What was I doing, hm?”
You watch him poke out his tongue and tease it near your hole. “You…you were doing this.”
He hums. “Was I?”
You nod. “Just…just like you did the first time.”
His eyes flick back to yours. “The first time, hm? When I asked to taste your pretty pussy?”
Another nod.
“Mm.” He shifts a bit on the bed and pushes your legs further apart. “Do you think about that first time a lot, Bee?”
You feel your heart skip. “Yes…”
“Think about how nice you were to let me practice on you?”
“…yes.”
“Cause you were,” he says softly between kisses to your cunt. Not enough to satisfy you, but more than enough to taunt you. “So nice and so sweet for me. Knew I’d never wanna taste anybody else but you for the rest of my life.”
You smile. “No, you didn’t.”
“I did,” he argues. He sucks your clit into his mouth. “Come on, lovie, you had to know I didn’t really want her. Only ever wanted you.”
Your fingers lace through his hair, and he hums. “You knew even back then?”
“Of course.” He rests his cheek on your thigh, gazing at your pussy almost as though in a trance. “Should have known I’d get addicted. I already was, even if I didn’t realize it yet.”
“Is that so?”
“Mhm.” He starts to pull you open, just to watch the way you clench around nothing. “I’d been addicted to you for years. Just didn’t know why.”
“And eating me out helped with that?”
He chuckles. “Kind of. I really did think I was doing it for Tina, but…the second I saw you, all spread out and dripping…I couldn’t have picked her out of a fucking lineup.”
You squeeze his scalp. “You’re ridiculous.”
“I mean it.” He studies your expression closely. “Bee, I’m so goddamn in love with you it makes my chest hurt. I was in love with you then and I’m in love with you now. Why do you think I kept canceling on her? Why do you think I kept begging you to teach me more things?”
“I don’t know.” You shrug. “Cause you were horny?”
“No,” he exhales and then kisses your pussy again, groaning into you as though he’s a man starved. “No, I was fucking obsessed. And I still am.”
You whimper.
“So, I want you to tell me everything I did in your dream,” he says, his touch growing a bit greedier now as he slips his middle finger inside. “Every little thing you wanted me to do.”
You arch from the bed and try to stay still. You’re not sure how long he’s been teasing you, but it feels far longer than your dream. And you’re already shaking with anticipation as you clutch his curls and say, “You…you were touching me.”
He grins. “How, lovie?”
You reach for his hand and pull it up toward your chest. “Like this,” you pant, and he groans so lewdly, you nearly cum right then.
He squeezes your tit in his palm, kneading it between those long, nimble fingers before he pinches your nipple tight. Eliciting another noise from your throat. And you’ve never been so glad you went to bed without pajamas.
“Like this?” he asks.
You nod before you’re leading him up toward your throat. “And like this…”
You make him squeeze the sides of your neck until your eyes have nearly rolled back. He holds you gently, but with just enough pressure to make your head pound in the absolute best way.
“Yeah?” He crawls a bit higher up your body in order to get a better grip. “I remember the first time you made me choke you. Such an insatiable little thing, weren’t you?”
“Still am,” you quip, sticking out your tongue.
His smile is sadistic as he spits directly onto your tongue and squeezes your jaw shut. “Swallow.”
You do. And the taste of him—of you—is magic. Enough to have you grinding yourself against his bent leg that’s snuggled between your thighs. And he notices, but he does nothing to help you.
“What else?” he asks between desperate kisses. “Huh? What else did my dirty girl want?”
“Your cock,” you whisper. “Wanted your cock so bad, Har. Wanted you to fuck me like you did that first time. Wanted to ride you…see your handsome face when you came.”
“Yeah? Wanted to cut me up all pretty like you did with that knife?”
You pout. “I didn’t cut you up. I just wanted to see it on your cheek.”
He laughs against your shoulder, and you feel butterflies erupt in your stomach. “Still can’t believe you have a knife kink. And a blood kink.”
“I still can’t believe you do, too.”
“Can’t help it. You just look so pretty in red,” he says easily. “Always have. Skin all sensitive and swollen…lips just begging to be bit…blood that looks so beautiful smeared across your chest—”
You grab onto his cheeks and bring his mouth back to yours. Kissing him so hard, he can’t speak. The image in your head is lewd and delicious and you feel his cock twitch against your hip as his body melts into yours.
“Bee,” he warns after a moment. “Bee, this isn’t about me. This is about you, come on—”
“I will. After you cum first,” you insist, reaching down between you to squeeze his tip. “My dream wasn’t just about me.”
His exhale is shaky as he closes his eyes. “Thought we were recreating the first time I ate you out?”
“Why can’t we do both?” you ask, nipping at his earlobe. “You really think I wasn’t imagining what your cock felt like as I watched you? Even back then?”
You feel his wicked grin against your cheek. “Were you?”
“How could I not? You weren’t the only one with a crush.”
He leans back. “You did not have a crush on me.”
“Yes, I did. How do you know?”
“Because you were still hung up on Eric,” he retorts as he moves down your body, returning to his previous position while you watch him go with a frown. “And I was just a convenient distraction.”
“No,” you snort, grasping onto his chin to recapture his attention. He looks at you. “Harry, you were not a distraction. Eric was the distraction. I made myself get over you by getting under him.”
He pulls his lip between his teeth, but it can’t hide his smirk. “Really?”
“Duh. You asking me to teach you was the best thing that ever happened to me. You are the best thing that’s ever happened to me.” You gaze at him gently and cup his jaw. “Please don’t forget that.”
The tension between you is palpable but loving, and you giggle when he sucks your thumb into his mouth with a wink.
“Then can you let me recreate the best thing that’s ever happened to you?” he mumbles around your finger. “Because it was the best thing that ever happened to me, and I still haven’t gotten a proper taste.”
You swipe your wet digit over his lips and grin. “Then you better get to it.”
So, he does. After all, Harry is nothing if not obedient and you can’t help but feel a touch proud as he kisses his way down your body until those greedy kisses find your cunt.
He knows exactly what you like. Knows how to hold you, tease you, taste you. He flicks you with the tip of his tongue and pulls you open with his fingers. He groans every time you gasp and swallows like he’s never had a drink in his life.
And then…he blows on you. Lets his warm exhale dance across your drenched pussy until you nearly squirm away altogether. You feel as though you’re being edged. Like he’s denying you the only thing you need and you whine helplessly as you plead with him.
He merely shushes you. “You know better, Bee. Come on.”
You shake your head violently. “I can’t…can’t, Har, please—”
He spanks you. A sharp smack of his palm down your clit. “You fucking rush me and I won’t let you cum at all. Is that what you want, sweet girl?”
“…no, Daddy.”
“No, I didn’t think so. So what are you gonna do?”
“…whatever you tell me.”
He hums, wildly pleased. “Good fucking girl.”
It’s masterful the way he sucks and nips and thrusts. A combination of his fingers and his tongue that bring you closer with every curl. Because after all this time, he knows your body. He’s had a year to learn you and love you. The way you taste, the way you sound, the way you feel. He knows exactly how to treat you and my god does he treat you right.
“H,” you gasp as you reach for his hair. Clutching onto those soft curls for dear life as your legs squeeze the side of his head. “Shit, Har…I’m…”
“You looked just like this when I first tasted you,” he mumbles against your cunt. “You had this cute little fucked-out expression on your face…kept biting your lip and wrinkling your nose. Like you were scared to enjoy it.”
“Wasn’t…wasn’t scared,” you huff, but you know he’s right. “I was just trying to help you learn.”
“Mhm.” He swipes his tongue up the length of you, from hole to hole. “Loved getting to see you so vulnerable for me. And you were so eager to let me. Practically yanked me into you.”
“I did not. Not until we got that collar and leash, anyway.”
His lips pull back with a Cheshire-like grin. Another fond memory. “Speaking of, we should dig that out again. Don’t think we’ve gotten enough use out of it.”
“I agree.”
“Good.” He slaps your clit once more before spitting on it and spreading it around. “Maybe I should make you watch your dirty little videos, too.”
Your chest begins to heave. “Maybe…you should.”
“Maybe I will.” And just like that, he slips three fingers into your quivering cunt.
But the moment he reaches his knuckles and flicks his tongue, it’s over. You gasp, whine, shake. Tremble in his hands and against his tongue before you’re collapsing onto the mattress with the sounds of his grunted praise in your ear.
“Fucking shit, Bee,” you vaguely hear as he pushes your folded legs closer to your chest. “God, I fucking love it when you do that.”
And somehow, through the orgasmic haze, you realize you’ve squirted. Something else you don’t tend to do that often. But when you do…
“Shit,” he says again before burying himself back in the mess. Almost as though he means to breathe it into his lungs. He kisses it, licks it, indulges in it. Takes every last drop for himself, despite the way you whimper. “M’sorry, lovie. Just can’t help it. S’my favorite.”
And you can feel a second one already barreling toward you. You're far more sensitive now and it almost hurts to have him continue. But you know he wants a second one. Know he needs a second orgasm out of you and you're powerless to deny him.
He brushes his touch through your folds and pulls you apart just to look at you. Watching your body spasm with pleasure as your hole flutters around the emptiness where his fingers used to be.
"Harry," you plead, a pitiful mewl.
He dives in. Licking and licking and licking like you're a popsicle on a hot day. He teases your opening with his tongue before smoothing it back up. Again and again, he tastes you. Until your cheeks are stained with tears and your body unravels once more.
When you cum, time stops. You bite on your lip so hard, you draw blood. The metallic taste filling your mouth as you push him back and wiggle away from his ministrations. Nearly sobbing from the painfully beautiful overstimulation.
He laughs lightly but does allow you to rest. Pulling himself up until he can place his head on your chest and settle in your arms. “Shh. You're all right, sweet girl. I've got you. It's okay."
You only whimper.
He peppers kisses across your face until your hiccups subside. His touch is much gentler now and he spends the next few minutes speaking softly and bringing you back down to earth. Doing everything he can to remind you that he's got you. Always.
"I'm proud of you," he finally says. "So fucking proud of you, Bee. Do you know that?"
You sniffle. "Really?"
“Mhm. And not just for squirting. For everything. All the time. The way you carry yourself. The way you love your friends. The way you love me.” He nuzzles his nose into your neck. “I’m so lucky to be loved by you.”
You swallow around the lump in your throat. “Well, I’m so lucky to love you.”
A tender beat passes. Then, he whispers, “Do you think you’d ever wanna get married?”
Just like that, your heart stops. You hope he can’t hear it. “Um…I don’t know. Would you?”
“Probably. Only to you, though.”
“Oh…that’s good.”
He glances up. “I’m not proposing. I mean, not right now. Not like this, I just...I don’t know. I thought I’d see if you…even wanted to marry someone like me.”
“Someone like you?”
He shrugs and looks back down. “Yeah. I don’t know. I’m not sure I’d be very good husband material.”
Your expression drops. “Harry,” you whisper, dipping down to press your lips to his temple. “You’d be the best husband in the world. No matter the material you’re made of.”
He chuckles again. “Think if we did get married, my parents would have a heart attack.”
“What? Why?”
“They fucking love you. They’ve been trying to get me to ask you out since we were kids.”
“Shut up, no they have not.”
“M’serious. When I told them we started dating, I swear to God my mom sent me like twenty links to engagement rings ‘just in case.’”
You laugh now, too. “She’s so cute. I’m gonna have the greatest in-laws.”
And for some reason, this makes him smile bigger than he has all evening.
The two of you stay like this for what feels like hours. Snug in each other’s embrace, his heart against yours. And you realize that this is where you were always meant to be. Right here, in this bed with him. From the moment the two of you met all those years ago, he was your Harry. And everything after has merely led you to this moment with him.
You often think about that fateful afternoon when he waltzed into your apartment and asked if he could eat you out. You wonder what would have happened if you’d said no. Could you have been okay with seeing him and Tina? Would you have patched things up with Eric, just to distract yourself?
But then you realize, you don’t want to imagine a world where you rejected him. It was a strange twist of destiny that you brought you and Harry together that day. In a position you never thought you'd be in. But if he hadn't, you'd have never known a happiness like this. A peace like this.
You’d never know him. The real him.
You don’t care if he proposes or not. You don’t care what your future looks like. As long as it’s with him, you’ll feel fulfilled. Happy and content in a way you never thought possible.
And the best part is…you know he feels the same.
By the time you start to feel tired again, it’s nearly morning. Soft streams of sunlight are already dancing through your bedroom window, illuminating the beautiful curve of his back. Glistening through his disheveled curls like a heavenly halo.
It nearly takes your breath away.
You count his freckles and moles like stars in the sky. Run your fingers along his shoulders and spine until he snuggles even closer. You've never felt so lucky to behold someone so beautiful.
However, just before your eyes can flutter shut and allow you to finally find a bit more sleep, your phone buzzes.
Confused, you both turn toward the nightstand where the vibration is coming from before you reach for the device plugged into the wall.
“Who is it?” Harry asks sleepily as he nuzzles his way back into your neck.
You read over the message.
And your stomach drops.
“It’s…”
“What?”
“Um…”
"What?"
You say nothing. Can't. You reread the text three more times in an effort to stall and create some sort of explanation.
But your silence piques his curiosity, and he eventually glances up. "Bee? What's wrong?"
Your pulse starts to race. Your palms start to sweat. And even though you know you have nothing to be afraid of, you take in a stuttered breath.
“It’s…Eric,” you say slowly.
And just like that…the tender moment is over.
Harry sits up, expression hard and unforgiving as he waits for the rest.
And you’re almost afraid to give it to him.
“…he wants to meet.”
I cannot believe it's been one year since the story that changed my life 🥹 And I can't thank you guys enough for what you've done for me!!! It was such a silly little story that I was sure wouldn't do very well, but introduced me to so many amazing people and gave me such a new found love for writing!!!
Thank you for being here and supporting me and Harry and Bee for a whole year now!!! I'm actually going to sob 🥹💞💞 ILY GUYS SO SO MUCH!!!
~ Full Teach Me Masterlist
Amazing credit for the beautiful dividers to @firefly-graphics 💞
Taglist: @walkingintheheartbreaksatellite @keepdrivingkisses @swiftmendeshoran @tiredinwinter @straightontilmornin @justlemmeadoreyou @harrysdaydreams @tiaamberxx @myfavfanficsever @littlenatilda @vamprry @fdl305 @tchalametishot @ssaama @indierockgirrl @likeapplejuicenpeach @lukesaprince @closureesny @lc-fics @0nlythrowharrybeaux @hannahdressedasabanana @dylanobandposts21 @butdaddyilovehim-hs @itjustkindahappenedreally @samanddeaninatrenchcoat @laelamarley @myalovesharry @allthelovehes @straightnogayhs @adoringhrry @harrysxcarolina @lillefroe @avasversion @harrysgf01 @lexiecamposv @spinningoutwaiting4ya @vyctorya @thiyaabs @buckybarnessimpp @whoreforjamesbuckybarnes @cherryluvhobi @mybabyh @wolfmoonmusic @wandasbae616 @imavirginhoe @nuggetdean @itsmytimetoodream @floral-recs
#harry#harry styles#harry edward styles#harry styles x reader#harry styles imagine#harry styles x you#harry styles blurb#harry styles fanfiction#harry styles fan#harry styles smut#harry styles request#harry styles concept#smut#concept#soft dom!harry#nsfr#teach me#harry and bee#switch!harry#best friend!harry#best friends to lovers#best friendrry#bffrry
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i love bffry i wonder how he'd react if she ever called him daddy or they did something like dom/kinky anyways i love how soft and careful he is w her 💕
Oh he would eat that shit UPPPP my friend. He is very careful w her, a simp, so to speak- but he is also very into experimentation. Here is a little example 🤓
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—-
The repetitive slap of skin was one of Harry’s favorite soundtracks to his evenings. He swore he would never be able to properly sit on his couch, take a shower, and eat in his kitchen without thinking about the filth that had taken place at the surfaces.
Sweat beaded on his brow as he watched her ass ripple under the force of his thrusts, her fingers gripping the marble countertop with a tight hand as he moved inside inside of her slick walls. The broken moans fueled his ego and his thrusts, his hand moving from her waist to come down for a spank right across the surface.
A startled hiccup turned into a whimper, her cheek resting on the cool counter as heat bloomed across the skin. She rarely told him that he was the best she ever had, but it wasn’t hard to figure out. She felt safe, secure, hot, and so fucking desired it was ridiculous.
“Fuck, that’s so good Daddy.” She whimpered out, not even realizing what had passed her lips. Harry had jokingly referred to himself as the title many a time with her reaction being an eye roll and slight heat in her belly, not wanting to give into the want… but she couldn’t help it. It had slipped.
Harry’s thrusts shuttered, a deep groan leaving his throat as he reached for her neck, pulling her up. His lips smeared across hers, though the angle was a bit difficult, his thrusts slowing to a deep grind that had her keening against his mouth. Nice and deep, his breathing fanned across her lips. “Fuckin’ finally.” He grit. “Knew you loved it. Pretty girl held out on me for so long… but it’s exactly what you wanted.”
Y/N could be a brat, but that’s part of what he loved about her.
His thrusts increased in speed, Y/N not caring about the strokes of his ego anymore. All she cared about was the feeling of his cock stroking her inside. She was wet, wetter than she had been at his approval and rough grab of her. The spanking, all of it. She couldn’t get enough.
“Again.” He panted against her mouth, feeling her cunt slicker up even more than before. His hand tightened just a bit on her throat.
“Daddy- fuck, keep doing that. Love your cock so much.” She moaned, the feeling of him filling her to the brim each and every thrust a threat to sending her over the edge. “Just like that. Please don’t stop. Just keep- keep giving it to me.”
“I’m not, baby. Daddy’s gonna take good fucking care of his girl.”
#jarofstyles#harry styles one shot#harry styles fanfiction#harry styles fanfic#harry styles smut#harry writing#harry styles imagine#harry drabble#harry styles blurb#Harry smut#harry styles smut blurb#harry styles x reader#Bffrry#bff h#flame
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yes!! ive read oh anna!!!!! confession: ive read all of ur stuff… maybe in one night…….. bc its so good………. anyways i just love the trope so bad and its so dear to my heart and im always looking for new bff!h to read 🫶🫶
BESTIE STOP U MAKE ME BLUSH :-) I KNOW I LOVE THE TROPE BECAUSE IT IS SO . MUTUAL PINING AND SOFT </3 TWO IDIOTS IN LOVE WHO JUST CARE ABOUT EACH OTHER SO MUCH I ALWAYS HAVE SO MANY BFFRRY IDEAS FLOATING AROUND IN MY HEAD :)
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Bffrry putting his hand on your thigh under the table unconsciously and immediately snapping it away and whispering “sorry” to you. And you look for his hand a put it back and he tries to hide his smirk and he’s smiley all dinner, he starts getting comfortable when he starts rubbing his thumb on you and you don’t react or move away. He wriggles his finger between your crossed legs slowly moving up your thigh and he’s just starring at you the entire time. You take a sip from your drink trying to act unbothered.
OHHHHHHHH MY GODDDDDDFJVHBUFJNHUJFNHJF
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Binged the first two parts of ex bffrry dad last night and i'm going insane&&&&&&&&&
I love how you always do smut with plot. After part 1 I was just thinking how it didn't even need smut to make it as good as it was but then you come through with all. the. smut in part two but it was still part of the story. The storyline is already so good. I just know there's going to be some more drama in store with Tyler. I can't wait for the next part!
Ahh oh my gosh thank you! I do enjoy the smut aspect but if you've read my stuff you know it's definitely about more than just smut (usually lol). I love an interesting (hopefully) plot so I really appreciate you saying this! It means so much to me because I did put so much love and thought into this one. And there will be some Tyler drama coming soon!
Thank you so so much!
xoxo
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Gonna start referring to you as the Concept Queen. You’ve already given us
Mafiarry
Fratrry
Werewolfrry
Vamprry
Dadrry
Bffrry
Weedrry
Neighbourry
Ceorry
And now you’re talking about Tinderry? 😫 Bestie have a little mercy on us PLEASE (but also don’t, ruin us we don’t care. We love the angst and the filth give it to us pls)
HAHAHAHA the way i’m blushing AND cackling 🤭 i do not deserve such a nickname BUT i am over the moon that you have enjoyed all these concepts 💞
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mutual masturbation with bffrry !!!!!!
mhm mhm mhm…that’s hot🥵
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Concept: Best friend Harry and y/n get in an argument about the guy she is dating and it ends up in angry sex or at least an angry kiss or something and him telling her how much better he would be for her 🤭
I've been sitting on this for like a week and inspo struck hard today!!!! thank you for sending this in bestie!
. . .
"He's a fucking douche. I hope you know that."
Y/N sighs as she lifts her cup to her lips, taking a healthy sip of whatever alcoholic concoction is inside. Tonight, her boyfriend of a month, Will, had accompanied her to a party being held by Harry and his roommate, and the results had been... unsavory, to say the least.
To put it bluntly, Harry was being a dick. He wouldn't give Will the time of a day and was being touchier with Y/N than normal. After being friends with Harry for years, she knew that touch was his love language — especially when he had a few drinks — but they all knew he was being inappropriate. She felt like each of the guys were trying to stake their claim in her or some weird, barbaric thing, when she wasn't up for grabs to begin with.
Now, Will had gone off to make friends with whoever was playing beer pong in the living room while Harry cornered Y/N in the hallway by his bedroom. That part of his apartment was generally off limits during parties, so it wasn't a surprise to her when he all but dragged her in that direction, his blunt fingertips pressing into her hand.
"You're being a douche," Y/N fires back as she crosses her arms over her chest, "This is important to me, you know that, H! I want nothing more than for my boyfriend and my best friend to get along, and you're making it really hard."
"Because he doesn't deserve you!" he hisses, throwing his hands up in frustration.
"How would you even know that? You refuse to speak to him for longer than a minute! You called him Wank, Harry! That was just uncalled for!"
Harry snorts at that only to receive a low, angry stare from Y/N. Quickly, he wipes the grin off his face.
"I just... I know guys like him, Y/N, and he's no good. Alright?"
She rolls her eyes, "Shut up, Harry. You're being annoying."
"Don't call me annoying when he's the annoying one—"
"You're making this worse—"
"His name should be Wank—"
"Just shut up!" she finally exclaims, reaching out to grab him by the shoulders. She grabs him tightly and stares into his hazy, slightly drunken eyes.
And then he's surging forward, pressing his lips to hers messily, kissing her like it's his only way of surviving. At first, she's startled. In the years that they've been friends, they've pecked a few times, but never anything like this.
She doesn't know why, but she wants to kiss him back — so she does. For a moment, she allows herself to melt her lips to his, move them just as erratically and needy as he is.
And then she stops. She pushes him away, because this is Harry, her best friend, and she has a boyfriend, who happens to be just a few rooms away.
"We can't," she shakes her head, leaning down to grab her cup off the floor, "We're drunk— we can't, Harry."
He swallows. His lips are swollen and tinged a deep red now. With flared nostrils, he nods.
"Yeah," he nods, "Yeah, you're right."
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I’m obsessed w the idea of y/n’s rings getting stuck on her fingers, and maybe she’s trying to take them off to wash her hands from something but she can’t get them off, so bff!Harry takes her finger into his mouth and sucks the ring off
Then mayyybeeeee she can’t stop thinking about the way he sucked on her finger and things escalate from there
OOOOOOOF WAIT YES!!!
Especially if they’ve tried everything already, butter, lotion, warm water, even lube and then he says, “Probably just be easier to suck them off.”
And she’s like…..honestly, go for it, I need these things off
So he does and starts to slowly make a show of it…circling it with his tongue, making eye contact…grunting a little and then once it finally comes off…..
Hehehe you’re a genius for this one
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Flame- Glow
Second to last part… who’s scared?
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WC: 4.9k
—-
Y/N wanted to cry.
It had been 4 days since she had seen Harry.
The next day she had texted him to come over but he had replied that he had to go see his cousin who lived an hour away. That was fine, sure, but the lack of invite had stung a little. She had no right to be upset about it considering she wasn’t owed it, Harry had a right to hang out with him alone… but they usually went together. He had a cabin out near a lake and they’d spent a few weekends there with him. Y/N quite liked his cousin.
Usually he would text her an option to go, at the very least. She sometimes couldn’t because of work or classes but there wasn't even the option to deny it this time. He had simply left. He was answering her texts, not ignoring her at all, but it was obvious something was off. The energy, the vibe, whatever you wanted to call it was very wrong and it made her feel sick to her tummy. She was curled on her couch with a mug of tea, having finished her last exam today. Harry had finished his all in two days, choosing to cram them instead of spread them out like she had because it worked better for his brain to let things go in a short amount of time instead of holding off. Getting it over with was the best option.
She exhaled into the steam, taking a sip of the chamomile. It wasn’t as good as Harry made it, but it did the job.
Y/N was praying in her head that she hadn’t fucked everything up. The more days he was gone, the more she realized she had become so used to him as a daily fixture, looked forward to her daily dose of his silliness. Being without him made her feel the echoing emptiness in her chest. Cold and sad and generally miserable. It had caught her off guard. She prided herself on her independence, on her ability to take care of herself. It wasn’t that she still couldn’t do that. It was the fact that she felt like something big was gone every day, wriggling under her skin to let her know something was wrong. He had become routine even with his spontaneity.
4 days was starting to feel like forever. She just wanted him back.
-
The sounds of nature didn’t soothe him the way he had originally sought out. Sitting on the dock of the cabin, he felt it bob with the water as he held his knees to his chest. It was a bit nippy out, still early in the morning. The cool air helped wake him up, his tea in a travel mug next to him as the sweater did it’s best to keep him as warm as it could. The rising sun was peeking through the trees, the momentary warm when the leaves fluttered and exposed it a breath of relief.
The weekend here had been good for him in a lot of ways, but it hasn't fixed everything. His heart still ached. It ached in a way he had thought people were dramatizing in the movies and the songs. His hand rubbed at the spot his heart rested under but no amount of soothing did much to keep it from aching. Throbbing and not in a good way. It was this weekend that opened his eyes up to seeing that it was just as bad as people said. Being in love was so multidimensional that it sort of freaked him out.
He had always been a fan of love stories. The gooey and mushy, the cotton candy softness of two people’s eyes meeting and the rest being history. He was a crier during romance movies, enjoying the final reconciliation at the end with the kiss and the promise of forever. He had never been fond of sad endings, of the protagonist losing the girl and walking out into the night alone. In his mind, everyone deserved love and deserved to feel adored.
With Y/N, he had felt that sort of adoration. That’s part of why he felt so confused. So conflicted with the situation. There was no way he had been reading her adoration wrong. Y/N wasn’t an overly affectionate person with people. That much was obvious to anyone who knew her. She was down to give a hug but she didn’t lay on the flattery thick. She didn't seek out touch. His Y/N was someone who kept her body and her vulnerable thoughts to herself. This arrangement, it had brought out a side of her that he had seen glimpses of but brought it fully to the front. Pouts for cuddles and sweet little kisses on the lips, giggles in bed. Her slipping her hands under his shirt to seek his warmth out, kisses smeared to his neck and cheeks and her smaller hands gripping his jaw so she could simply stare at him. She told him how beautiful she thought he was. Expressed how much she adored him, how much he made her laugh and how lucky she felt to be able to have him in her life.
So what the hell had gone wrong? What had pushed her away from him?
Harry had spent a lot of time wracking his brain to try and figure out what he could have done. Went through their days step by step, word by word to try and pinpoint what could have brought it on. There was nothing on his end, no change or risky behavior besides trying to express to her that night how much he had actually missed her. But even then, she had caved and came to see him. There had been no shift in their relationship until they were at the cafe.
He didn’t want to entertain the thought of her being into that bellend that had come up to the table, but that was the only thing he could think of. He wasn’t Y/N’s type at all. Obnoxious and obviously trying to get into her pants. He wouldn’t have much to communicate with her about. He wasn’t being judgemental- He had Niall look into the guy for him. Creepy? Maybe. But it had bothered him and Niall knew everyone and anyone. It took only a day for him to tell Harry just what he had suspected. The guy was a dickhead and he was definitely trying to get into Y/N’s pants.
That gross sick feeling had been lingering in his stomach ever since. He knew Y/N wasn’t hooking up with him simply because he had been getting pretty consistent texts from her about exams and he did trust her above all else. Y/N may be callous and a bit oblivious to people but she wasn’t a liar. She would be honest with him if she was into him. He had that faith in her. He still loved her, he didn’t think poorly of her even if the feelings weren’t returned.
“Still hiding from her?” His cousin appeared at the shoreline, fishing pole in hand. Harry stiffened slightly, wiping under his eye as a tear he hadn’t realized fell went down his cheek. God damn it. Sometimes he hated how sensitive he was.
“Shut up.” he grumbled, pulling his tea back to his lips as Jack laughed under his breath. His cousin wasn’t one to sugar coat things, let alone baby Harry. “M’not hiding. I’m trying to figure out how the hell to tell her that m’in love with her and we have to stop fucking around because if we don’t I’m going to lose my mind knowing she doesn’t feel the same.” Harry’s voice was hoarse from lack of use, this being the first time he spoke in quite a few hours. It was embarrassing to him, how devastated he felt right now, but he needed someone to talk to. Jack was the obvious choice. He was also the only other person he felt comfortable talking to about his emotions when they ran this deep. Usually it was Y/N… but obviously that wasn’t an option right now.
“Yes, you are. She’s been texting you every day. Obviously she isn’t upset with you or disgusted at the sight of you. I think you need to grow a pair and actually speak to her. She isn’t going to be patient with you running away for a long time.” That was a fact, unfortunately. Y/N wasn’t known for her patience. “H, you don’t know she doesn’t feel the same. Maybe she just put her foot in her mouth because you were acting like a caveman. I have always thought you two would end up together.” Jack sighed, loading up the pole with bait before casting, letting the quiet of the forest settle for a few moments so his words could sink in. “If you want my honest opinion, which you’re getting regardless of the answer, I think she is just as into you as you are into her. She loves you back. You got scared, felt rejected, and ran. I can’t say I wouldn’t lick my wounds for a day but you can’t hide out and not tell her. It’s gone past the way you can just brush it off.”
Harry knew he was right but he desperately didn’t want to admit that to him. His pride felt wounded enough as it was.
“I know. I’m just fucking terrifeid of fucking all of this up, J. She’s… she’s my best friend. I dunno what I’ll do without her.”
“Who says you’re going to have to go without her, Harry? Who says she isn’t going to be relieved you tell her first. Who says she isn’t going to say she loves you too and you two don’t ride off into the sunset to have dozens of stupidly cute babies and a bunch of dogs?” Jack sighed, a bit exasperated from having such an unusually pessimistic Harry to soothe for a few days in a row.
“Y/N is a cat person.” he muttered, wincing as he felt something hit the back of his head a few moments after. “Oi, what the fuck?”
“I threw a strawberry at that thick head to knock you out of your wallowing. Just go. Get the fuck out of my house and go home to her. She’s done with exams. It won’t distract her anymore. You can come back if she rejects you. But she won’t.”
—
Y/N: when are you gonna be homeeee.
H: actually, I just got home.
H: you cool to come over in a bit? An hour? I’d like to talk if that’s alright.
Y/N: sure, sure. I’ll be over.
She was going to throw up. Y/N was sure of it.
He wanted to talk. To Talk. That was never good.
Y/N pulled her sweatshirt closer to her body as she walked down the hallway to his door, hands shaking slightly. She’d never been this nervous meeting up with Harry and it was a very weird feeling, one she wasn’t sure she liked. With him, she felt pretty certain that she would be warmly welcomed, even before they’d had sex. He scooped her into a hug and she would grumble but sink deeper into the embrace when he failed to let go past the usual allotted hug time one would consider normal. Now, however, she felt uneasy.
His abnormal behavior had been the main cause of her stress now that classes had paused for a little bit. She wrung her hands together under the sleeves of her sweatshirt, trying to relax before the door opened. There wasn’t the usual music playing her typically had blasting to a questionable level when she arrived. It was oddly quiet.
Her heart jumped as she heard the click of the lock, speeding up as the door opened to reveal Harry. Her Harry, with his tousled hair and soft green jumper covering his body with his jeans with a hole in the knee, with a bit of stubble above his lip and littering his chin. With darker circles under her eyes that had her brow furrowing with concern. He looked so pretty, but so exhausted.
“Why didn’t y’use your key?” His voice was soft, not cold like she had halfway expected.
“I…” she looked down at her shoes, kicking slightly at the worn carpet as she tried to not sound pathetic in her response. “I wasn’t sure if I should. It’s been a little weird lately and I just didn’t want to barge in.” Her attempt had failed, the reply sounding even more weak than she had tried to avoid.
“Y/N…” He sighed, opening his arms and pulling her into them. “M’not angry at you. I never was. You don’t have to be afraid to come here.”
This was the shit he had been trying to avoid. He didn’t want to make her feel any less safe or comfortable with him and she had felt like she was out of line if she had used a key he had given her far before. His efforts to try and keep himself normal had failed and she had picked up on his upset. She had looked so unsure and uneasy, the sweatshirt hiding her hands and averting her eyes. Internally he cursed, needing to explain this soon before he burst.
Regardless of the pressing matter, he allowed himself to indulge in the hug. Squeezing her to his body and letting his nose rest against her hair, inhaling the scent of her shampoo and the faint notes of her perfume. He had missed her so fucking much. 4 days. He was the pathetic one, really. It took a moment to pry himself away from her, exhaling as he did so.
“Let’s sit down.”
Settling on the couch, he felt like perhaps he was the one who would get sick. Or his heart would beat out of his chest. Either one that happened first.
“I’m sorry.” Y/N peeped, looking at him with sad eyes. “I know I was harsh with you at the cafe. I didn’t mean to be. I was really mean, Harry. I know I jokingly bully you sometimes but I know I hurt your feelings and it felt so awful to see you get sad like that. I know you said you weren’t angry, but I still hurt you. We haven’t spent full days apart.. Probably since we met, and as much as I know you’re going to deny it, I drove you away. You didn’t even want me to come with you to the cabin.” Y/N cursed herself for feeling a slight burning settling behind her eyes. It wasn’t about her right now. She knows she hurt his feelings, she needed to apologize for that thoroughly. “I should have included you in the study group and not made you feel bad for wanting me around.”
Harry stayed quiet, listening to her as she spoke. It made him feel weird, hearing her be so earnest and apologizing so openly to him. Y/N was a stubborn girl, though she did admit her wrongs, she normally wasn’t wrong. That’s just how it was. His arm rested on the couch, picking at the strings on his throw blanket as she spoke about the study group, an exhale being released through his nose.
“That’s not why I was upset, Y/N.” He said softly as she spoke. “You.. You’re allowed to do things without me. I know I’m clingy, probably a little clingier than you’d prefer, but I was upset because…” his throat felt like it was clamped for a moment, knowing this was going to change the way she looked at him. “It was because you were so quick t’remind me we weren’t actually dating. That I basically didn’t have a claim to you or a right to get jealous. And then i realized you were right. The realization hurt a lot fucking more than I thought. You said it so easily and I think…” He paused again, looking away from her face. Like a coward. “I think it hurt me a lot because, to me, I was reading the way we were as a lot different than you probably were.”
The words stayed floating in between them as Y/N blinked a few times, confusion painting her face. That’s what he had been upset about? Her chest felt tight as she looked at his face, trying to meet his eyes to get more of an explanation of that. What direction had he thought it was going?
“I’m sorry, H.” She whispered. “What… Can you explain to me what you mean, though? What direction?” This was a time she didn’t want to jump to conclusions because she obviously hadn’t been the brightest bulb when it came to figuring out what had actually upset him.
He stayed silent for a moment, breathing out shakily. “I thought… I kind of thought we were on our way to dating. Or we were there, jus’ without the label. I was obviously reading a bit too far deep into it when you weren’t, but it was just easy to fall, I guess.” His voice felt strained, still a bit afraid to look at her face on the chance she was looking at him in pity. “I thought that we were falling into a relationship, that it meant more romantically. You were a lot more affectionate with me than you ever have been and I know we’ve always been really close but it felt so right to me. I was a bit naive and assumed that it was the both of us with real feelings developing but I know it was wrong of me to assume you felt the same without actually talking to you.” It felt like there were knives in his stomach, the nausea being traded with full on pain as he shifted uncomfortably, explaining himself.
“It was so easy to fall for you. You’re just really fucking amazing, Y/N. I’ve always thought that, always thought you were the coolest. It’s why I tried so hard to keep you around. You aren’t someone who lets people into your world the way I felt like you were letting me in. Being touchy with me and not being annoyed with me hanging on you and even initiating cuddling and kisses without sex. It felt like a whole lot more than friends with benefits and I was happy to let it keep going because I thought somehow it was meaning more to you too. But we never defined what it was that friends with benefits actually meant. So I just… made an arse of myself and assumed that it meant you wanted to be with me.” His hand ran through his hair, something he did when he felt a bit exasperated. “I let myself get caught up in it without thinking maybe it meant more to me and somehow, I fell in love with you.”
The whole world stilled for a moment. Y/N froze, eyes widening as she looked at Harry as he finally met her gaze. He couldn’t say it without looking her in the face, he wouldn’t allow himself to do that. She deserved the courtesy of seeing him when he said it. She sucked in a breath, ready to reply but Harry beat her to it.
“I just.. I know its a lot, Y/N. I know you didn’t sign up for that and I tried not to fall in love with you but fucks sake, just spend a day in my shoes. You’re perfect. It was impossible not to fall for you. I swear, I tried because I didn’t want to be in this position. I don’t want to lose you, Y/N. I want to keep you in my life forever.” His eyes glazed over with tears and she swore her heart tore into two. Fuck. Fuck. He had just bared his entire heart to her and was almost crying because he didn't want to lose her. She felt like her brain and heart had melted, the sparkle of hope glimmering bright now that she knew he felt the same.
“I understand you don’t feel the same. I see it now. I just… I can’t keep doing physical stuff with you. I’ll never get over the feelings if I keep going. I know it’s annoying and I’m sorry, Y/N. I still want to be your best friend-”
“Who says I want you to stop?”
Finally, her voice began to work again. Her own eyes glazed up, looking at him with so much warmth that Harry paused his entire speech and blinked a few times. He wanted to think he heard correctly but he felt himself reboot, buffering even as he looked at her confused.
“What?”
“What if I don’t want you to stop loving me?” her shaky voice echoed in the silent room, bouncing off the ears. “What if you’re a silly man and I’m a mean, cowardly woman and I don’t want to stop being intimate? What if I want the exact same thing and have felt the exact same way, but you’re much braver than I am with admitting your feelings?” Her eyes bore into his.
Harry felt like his world had tilted on its axis. He was silent for a moment, trying to make sure he hadn’t just hallucinated hearing those words from her as she shifted closer to him. He hadn’t accounted for this reaction. So sure, so positive that he had been one sided pining since the incident that he had lost almost all hope- only for her to bring that assumption crashing down and breaking like porcelain plates.
“You….” He swallowed, throat bobbing as he looked at her with confusion. “You do?” His voice trembled a bit in disbelief, so hesitant to let the sparks of hope ignite the flames that had previously been smoldered in his chest. This had been the one outcome he hadn’t allowed himself to think about. If he had allowed the hopeful part of him to flourish, he worried that he would have an even hard time accepting what he had thought the truth would be. He wasn’t usually pessimistic but Y/N had seemed to be far too good to be true when he had been knocked out of his smoky bubble he had engulfed himself in.
Y/N’s heart splintered at his disbelief. She had made him feel like she hadn’t loved him back and it was her fault for being so scared, so cowardly. His slightly hesitant gaze made her get up from her spot, climbing on top of his lap.
“Yeah.” She peeped, placing her arms around him for a hug. Clutching him to her, exhaling weakly as she buried her face in his neck. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, H.” Her whimper of an apology had him closing his arms around her, the shock wearing off as she collapsed and rested her weight on top of him. It was only a few moments later that he felt hot tears on his neck, his stomach twisting at the idea of her crying as he cooed softly under his breath.
“No… hey, no. No crying. It’s okay.” He whispered, moving to kiss the side of her head as his hands drew up and down her back in the comforting motions he usually did. She sniffled against him, his body and kind a torn mess of wanting to comfort and console and wanting to celebrate. It almost felt too good to be true.
“It’s not. I hurt your feelings because I was scare n’frustrated and I was a big baby who didn’t want to admit I loved you first and I-“ she was interrupted with Harry gently pulling her back, her breathing catching as she looked at him. His face significantly brighter than it had been when he had opened the door, she blinked and went to reply but was cut off by his mouth.
His plush, pink lips pressing against her slightly chapped ones, holding the back of her neck as she let out a little noise against them. Her brain went fuzzy, melting into the familiar warmth of his kiss, her body lighting up with the hazy glaze that covered it, the heat tingling her belly and the fizziness in her heart that she decided to lean into rather than push away. Lips pulled back only for her to surge forward this time, desperately kissing him and pushing him back against the couch as she had decided she wasn’t done kissing him yet.
“Y’mean it?” He managed to breathe out, a pause in their kissing and heavy breathing giving him an opportunity. “Y’love me?” She nodded, but that wasn’t good enough for him. The grip on the back of her neck tightened. “Tell me. Say it.” He wanted to hear those words he had been positive he wouldn’t fall from the lips he couldn’t get enough of.
“I love you.” She pressed her lips to the corner of his mouth. “Love you.” Another kiss to his jaw. “Love you, love you, I love you, Harry.” The kisses were pressed with the words, his chest squeezing and the candy cane fluff filling his stomach. It was hard to breathe in the best way, like pink smoke laced in love was clogging his throat and the only words he could get out were the ones professing it.
“Love you. I love you, Y/N.” He smiled, nose brushing against hers. “I have for a long fucking time and I… I shouldn’t have disappeared but I was so confident you didn’t feel the same-“
“I did. I was just being stupid and scared and wanted to remind myself. I got too excited when you were acting possessive and I was reminding myself that we weren’t dating and… I thought you were being hot. I loved that you got jealous because it meant you cared about what we had but I was so certain I was making it up and I’d be ruining our friendship… I was terrified. You just said we should fool around and I went and fell in love with you, it wasn’t what you asked for…” she babbled, wanting to make sure he knew that he hadn’t done a single thing wrong.
The explanation actually made sense if she felt anything like he did. Stuck between a rock and a hard place, trying not to overthink things. The relief and happiness was nearly leaking from his pores as he peppered her lips with his own kisses. It would have felt like a dream if he didn't feel his heart pounding out of his own chest even still. This time, though, for a much different reason. The flames had caught the kindling, erupting back into that blaze. Almost to a forest fire level, his giddiness had been contagious.
“Y’love me? For real?” He whispered, cupping her warm cheek as if it could ground him to the moment. Her face leaned into him, nuzzling into the slightly calloused hand like a kitten overly eager for affection as she nodded.
“I love you. For real, for real.” Her smile was watery, sniffling while his thumb brushed her slightly damp skin yet again. “Want to keep doing what we were but I want t’go on dates and hold your hand around and kiss you whenever we want, want to bring you to meet my mom as my boyfriend and I want- I want everything. I’m sorry I’ve been so nervous and silly and I almost ruined it but I was scared. I don’t have to be scared now.” Harry’s gaze itself made her wonder how the fuck she missed it. How she could have possibly thought it was one sided. His eyes were full of love. Of fondness. The man adored her and he didn’t even have to say it out loud. She felt it just being like this.
“This means I’m your boyfriend now, yeah?” he asked after another little kiss, trying to calm his overly excited nerves. This felt lovely. So, so lovely. His whole body was on fire, the bubbles in his guts raising to his chest. “I want to do all of that with you. We should have just talked before getting to this point but I… I’m so happy right now.” He felt his eyes stinging with a different type of tears. They’d been so silly, but it led to this. It had led to their connection and Harry really couldn’t regret that.
His glossy eyes made her coo quietly, her own babying of him commencing as she pressed her lips back to his and feeling the sparks come back into her own belly. “So, so happy. Love you, H. You’re my boyfriend.” She laughed, shaking her head as their noses nudged against each other, relishing in the closeness she was finally granted. “I’m your girlfriend. And we are both very, very stupid.”
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Chapter 7
Series Summary: Gemma is definitely Cassidy James' favourite Styles family member, considering they are best friends and all. And especially considering that Harry Styles is Gemma's smug and self-centered younger brother. Her life isn't perfect, and neither is she, but she hates how everyone thinks Harry is. Because she knows that's not the case.
Chapter Summary: Cassidy thought her friendship with Harry and her relationship with Derek could exist peacefully. But you can't always have what you want, and sometimes you can keep what you already have.
Chapter Warnings: Some explicit language, mention of sex, alcohol consumption, jealousy, argument, physical altercation, panic/anxiety attack
[ present - August 2020 ]
As the sunlight from outside peeks through the curtains, Cassidy stretches her body, her eyes still shut as she holds onto that peaceful feeling.
A stirring beside her opens her eyes, and she rolls over to see Derek slowly waking.
It wasn't planned that he would stay the night, but the relief from her completed work, a couple glasses of wine, and the feeling of his lips persistently grazing her neck sent them straight to the bedroom as soon as her laptop was shut.
"Mm. Good morning." Derek mumbles, turning onto his side and slowly blinking to clear his vision, smiling as they meet each other's gaze. "I definitely enjoy waking up like this."
Cassidy brings her shoulders up in shyness, a blush forming on her cheeks. He is the first man, in a very long time, that she has woken up next to in the bed. The man before him was, maybe unfortunately, her last sexual partner. The man before him is actually, in a way, the reason it's been so long. Because, the man before him is Cecelia's father.
[ flashback - January 2016 ]
"You had sex with Nathan?" Gemma squeals, bouncing in excitement.
Cassidy smiles at not only the question, or the memory of that night, but also at how silly yet normal it feels to be sitting on Gemma's bed and talking about boys, since now they are in their early twenties.
"You're acting like I'm some shy, little virgin, Gem! I've had sex before."
Her best friend swats her arm and Cassidy grabs it in dramatic fashion.
"I know you're not, CJ. I was at the party when that all changed." She winces in disgust, and Cassidy knows it is due to the reminder of that night. She was naive, and inexperienced, and it was just bad. "I know about everyone you've had sex with."
Cassidy clears her throat, desperately hoping that Gemma doesn't read anything into it, because there is actually one person that her best friend does not know about. That she can never know about. Gemma will never know that Cassidy had sex with Harry. Twice.
"Okay, now you're making me out to be a whore."
"Oh for fucks sake, CJ." Gemma rolls her eyes, pulling her knees to rest under her chin. "So… what was he like?"
"Gem!" Cassidy exclaims, tossing a nearby pillow in her friend's direction.
"What? I had to ask…"
"You really didn't…"
Gemma pouts, giving her best begging eyes, even though they both know that Cassidy will spill the beans anyway.
"It was good." She states, dropping her head down onto her own knees as she feels a pink hue rushing to her cheeks. "Really good."
"That's all I get?"
"I'm not going into detail about it, Gem, bloody hell!"
"Fine." Gemma's shoulders drop in disappointment, causing Cassidy to let out a loud laugh.
"It was hot and sweaty." She replies, suddenly wanting to give her friend just a little something to satisfy the curiosity. "And, he was good at it."
A buzz almost vibrates through the entire mattress, and both girls check their phones to see who was sent some form of communication. Cassidy holds hers up so the screen is on full view for her friend.
"Speaking of…"
🗨️Nathan: i had a really good time with you
Cassidy instantly feels the pink hue turn to a bright, hot red. She bites her bottom lip, and her gaze flickers up to her best friend, not speaking any words to clue her in on what was just said through the text.
🗨️Cassidy: i did too
🗨️Nathan: i'll let you know next time i'm in town
🗨️Nathan: if you wanna hang out again
"Well… what does it say? Are you gonna see him again?" Gemma asks, scooting across the bedding as if it gets her closer to the information she's about to receive.
"Ummm…" Cassidy begins to reply. She feels an almost giddiness begin to flutter in her stomach, but tries to reel it in. When they met, at that One Direction party, she figured he was nice, even though their interaction was cut short by a certain long-haired twat. And when Michal later mentioned Nathan had been asking about her, she must admit she was a little flattered, despite the awkward tension in the room between her and Harry. It's sort of ironic that she was so insistent that she and Nathan were not going on a date on New Year's Eve, yet here she is, talking to her best friend about how she just spent the night with him. She can almost hear Harry's disgustingly arrogant 'I was right' comment if he were also involved in this conversation. She hates that he was, coincidentally, correct. But her recent date with Nathan went really well, and even though it would cause Harry's already giant ego to grow, she's actually glad she got together with the guy.
"Yeah." She utters, looking down at the open messages on her phone, slight discouragement settling in.
"That doesn't sound convincing…"
"It's just that…" Cassidy looks up, her teeth toying with her bottom lip as she adjusts her posture. "He isn't always in town. I guess he's been traveling a bit for his job."
"What does he do?" Gemma asks. "I don't remember."
"Honestly? I don't either." She admits, pulling her lips inward with a little guilt. "Something with production, or marketing, I think."
"Hm." Her best friend hums, an expression of thought now embedded between her brows. "Well, it seems as if he likes you… he wants to see you again when he can… maybe just see where it goes?"
"See where it goes." Cassidy utters back, as if to let the words take root in her brain. She looks down to her phone again, her thumbs positioned over the keyboard as she begins to type.
🗨️Cassidy: yeah, let me know when you're back
[ present - August 2020 ]
Cassidy gives Derek one last kiss before rolling out of his arms and scooting close to the edge of the bed to retrieve her phone.
"I think we slept in…"
"That's good… right?" Derek chuckles, a humorously confused look across his still sleepy face.
"Yeah, it is, I guess. I just never get to do it. But it's good." She smiles back, unlocking her phone to check the time. As she opens it, her expression drops and she quickly sits up in the bed. "Nope… not good. Not good!"
"What? Why?" Derek asks, sitting up to match her posture and placing his hand on her back.
"Shit. Umm… okay, okay…" She stutters, looking around the room for something, though she isn't sure what she needs, since her mind has become a jumble. "The time! Harry is gonna be here in 15 minutes with Cece!"
"Okay… I don't understand why that's bad."
Cassidy sighs. Not truly out of annoyance, but more so to regulate her breathing, also hoping she can take that second to gather her thoughts.
"She's going to see you here." That's all she can manage as her mind focuses on searching for her clothes.
"I'm… confused… I'm still not seeing the problem."
She can't blame him, really. He's never dated a single mum, so he's not accustomed to the dynamic of this sort of relationship. She really shouldn't blame herself for anything either, but she can't help picturing the face Cecelia will make seeing Derek there when she is brought back home. It doesn't sit right with Cassidy, not this early on.
"She's still getting used to us being together, Derek. I don't want to make it even more awkward for her."
"Cecelia is only 3 years ol-"
"Derek, please. Y-you... I need you to leave."
"Okay." He slides out of the bed, stopping his steps as he gets close enough to hold onto her shoulders. "I don't want you to stress out. I'll go."
Cassidy nods in response, closing her eyes as he kisses her forehead and releases his hold for them to both find their clothing.
She feels her breaths pick up their pace, hoping she can keep herself calm enough so that Derek doesn't pick up on her current fret.
As he finally finishes dressing, he comes up behind her, shuffling along with his hands on her waist as she exits the bedroom, walking to the hook by the front door where he placed his keys.
She spins around to find a wide, amused grin stretched across his face, causing a small amount of annoyance to bubble up.
"What's so entertaining about this?"
He pulls her closer, once again placing his lips on her forehead, then down onto her nose, and one on her own lips.
"This is the first time I've been kicked out." He utters. "But if it ended up happening, I would never have thought it would be because someone was coming back home. Well, not a kid, at least."
"It's just…" She begins to reply, not even sure of what she wants to convey, her mind is in too much of a frantic state.
"I was just trying to lighten the mood, I'm sorry."
He pulls back, lifting her chin to focus her gaze on his. "It'll be okay. I'll call you later, yes?"
"Yes." She quietly responds, receiving one last kiss, and watches as he exits through the front door.
She releases a few shallow breaths as she attempts to gather herself. Derek is gone, which wasn't the problem, but she does believe that having him there when Cecelia got home would just create an even more awkward dynamic between the two of them. She may be young, but she is observant and bright. Cassidy is sure she would pick up on the fact that something was different. Or, at the very least, feel upset because someone else is at their flat in the morning, despite her own absence. Even if Cassidy is completely wrong, she'd much rather be safe than sorry. Her daughter always comes first.
A knock on the door pulls her out of her daze, creating a frustration since it seems Derek is being a bit careless and disregarding her wishes.
She swings the door open, finding Harry standing on the other side, with Cecelia's little hand wrapped in one of his, and her belongings held in his other.
"Mummy!" She exclaims, releasing herself from Harry and wrapping her arms around her mum's leg.
"H-hey, Bug." Cassidy manages to reply, her gaze flickering down the corridor with worry beginning to build. Did they see him? Did they both see Derek? If they did, what might he have said to them?
She moves out of the way, ushering them both inside, and closes the door behind them.
Cecelia runs straight to her bedroom, and Harry turns around with a curious expression on his face.
"I see work went well…" He states, an unclear tone to his words. Cassidy feels her chest tighten at the realization that they did, in fact, run into the man who stayed the night. Not only did her daughter encounter him, but Harry too, and she can't determine why that bothers her almost as much, but assumes it is because of the tension they always seem to have. "Cass, are you alright?"
"Did… did he say anything?"
"Who? Derek?"
"Yeah."
Harry shakes his head, putting down the bag of Cecelia's things and placing one hand on Cassidy's arm.
"I spotted him in the parking lot. Cece didn't even notice." His response helps her to release a bit more of a shaky breath, and Harry gently squeezes her arm. "Hey. Inhale and exhale for me, yeah?"
Her eyes meet his, seeing the familiar concern that he has shown each time he's helped her through a panicked state. He begins to demonstrate what he's asked her to do, and she follows along, breathing in and out at the same pace, seeing his own worry diminish each time they do so together.
"There you go." He encourages, his focus fixed on her. "Better?"
"Yes." She replies, her lungs opening with her new regulated breathing. "Thank you."
"What's going on?" He asks, that concern seemingly turning from her panic and now to what may have caused it.
"I don't really know." She replies. Despite simply not wanting Derek's presence to create an uncomfortable environment for Cecelia, she isn't sure why that possible scenario caused such an intense reaction.
"Was it Derek?" He questions, his tone turning a lot more stern than it was just moments ago. "Did something happen with him?"
"No, no, no." She quickly responds, wanting to squash the negative assumption immediately. "No. I just… I didn't want Cece to see him here."
"Why's that?" He asks suddenly.
"I'm not sure." Her brow furrows, searching her mind for a satisfying answer. Not necessarily for Harry, but for herself. "I just thought it might be awkward for her. I'm sure I was just being ridiculous."
"That's not ridiculous, Cass." He gives her a small, yet reassuring smile. "She's your daughter. You want to do what feels right for her."
A warmth falls over her. A sudden relief through validation. She's a mother. She's allowed to be protective. Especially when allowing another person into their lives. And besides, this is all new territory for her.
Derek hasn't been in a situation like this either, so she can't expect him to understand. Oddly, Harry seems to get it, but many of his other friends have children too. He's probably been privy to a multitude of different parenting difficulties.
"I didn't… plan any of it, by the way."
"What do you mean?" He asks, confusion appearing on his features.
"I didn't know he was coming over last night. He showed up while I was working. He hung around while I was writing, and then we ended up-"
"I don't need the details." Harry interrupts, smiling yet wincing simultaneously, causing Cassidy to laugh.
"I just don't want you to think that I had you watch Cece so I could… have a date or something, and not tell you." She explains softly, and shyly.
"Cass… I know you're not that type of person." Harry chuckles. "And I suppose it doesn't matter anyway. I offered to help, there were no conditions."
She sighs out of relief. Mainly due to the reassurance of his willingness to help out. But also, mildly, she feels that relief because he doesn't seem to be uncomfortable with whatever potential reason she needed that help. Maybe that's a good sign, that they can all get along, and be around each other.
"Plus, I'll take any opportunity to spend time with the James girls…" He begins to add, and by the look being created in his face, Cassidy can tell he has something cheeky to say next. "Well, one of them. The other is a bit of a nuisance…"
"Oh you're one to talk, you wank-"
"But speaking of hanging out, are you free this weekend? My friends Sarah and Mitch want to meet you." He states, a shy blush forming on his cheeks, and an almost timidness to his tone.
"From your band? Why?" She asks, hoping the question didn't come across as snarky. Though, considering their usual banter, she wouldn't really care either way.
"Yeah." He chuckles, running a ring-free hand through his unclipped hair. "They want to meet the girl who tormented me as a kid."
"Oh you've got to be kidding me!" She exclaims, watching as a wide grin stretched across his face, and a dimple caves into his cheeks.
Harry throws up his hands, dramatically, in defense of his sarcastic statement.
"That's how I remember it…" He replies, the grin somehow getting wider. "It would be a small group of us, eating out or something. You can tell lies… I mean stories… from our childhood."
"Wow. You are really selling me on the idea of hanging out with you and your friends." She rolls her eyes, noticing Harry pulls his lips as he jokingly does the same.
"You'll have friends there too. Me…" He points to himself proudly, and arrogantly, as if that's all the reason she needs. To be fair, it is. She would hang out with him any time. But considering how Derek feels, it's probably best to include more people. At least for now.
"Wow. Convincing." She scoffs, lightheartedly.
"And Gem." He jokingly scowls back. "And Roxie, if you want to invite her."
"Well, in that case…" She teases, pretending to ponder all the information she's just been given. One thing she does actually wonder is if she should mention the man she's been dating. If she should include him, too. It's Harry's invitation. He doesn't seem to be the biggest fan of Derek, who seems to reciprocate the feeling, so it's probably best not to. Besides, she has seen a lot more of Derek lately than the others, and she can have a night out with just her friends if she wants. "Count me in!"
•••
Despite the new limited capacity inside, the pub seems to be filled with noise and laughter, and as she walks up to the secluded booth filled with her friends, Cassidy can't help but feel as if this is something she's been needing. Though, it's probably something that most people have been needing, ever since the world practically shut down.
There's probably not enough gratitude she can express for this venue allowing small groups of people, masked until they are seated, to get together and slowly get back a bit more freedom. And just as much, she is thankful for Harry's invitation to a night out.
"There she is!" Gemma exclaims, causing each person's head to swivel in her direction. "Is Roxie coming?"
"No, she couldn't make it."
"Well, nice of you to join us." Harry adds, instantly receiving a friendly glare from her.
"Hey! I had to try to explain to Cece why she couldn't come and hang out with us." She shakes her head, almost exhausted from the fifteen minute conversation she had with her 3 year old before she left.
"She just wants to be with her bestie…"
"Yeah and I still can't figure out why." She chuckles, sliding into the spot at the end of the seat, next to Gemma.
"You must be Cassidy then." She hears from the middle of the group, turning and meeting the gaze of the brunette smiling back at her.
"I am! You must be Sarah." She smiles, reaching across the table as best she can to shake hands. Her gaze moves over a few inches to see a quiet, brunette man, with the smallest of smiles on his face, barely detectable as he makes eye contact. "And you must be Mitch."
"Yep." He responds, reaching his own hand out for a quick shake.
"Nice to meet you both." She states, settling back down in her seat. As her gaze flickers over to Harry, she sees his lips pulled slightly to his left in a subtle smirk, as if proud that they've all finally met. Though, the funny thought crosses her mind that he might not be so happy about the situation if and when she corrects any ridiculously inaccurate stories he's already told them. "I hear I have some childhood memories I need to straighten out."
"That was a joke, Cass."
"They still deserve to know the truth." She smirks, seeing his grow a little wider with amusement. "But first, I need a drink."
•••
As Harry buries his face in his palms, the rest of the group erupts with laughter, unfortunately for him it's at his expense.
"My mum never intended for him to wear that dalmatian costume for two more years…" Gemma states, expanding on the story they've been engrossed in.
"It didn't even fit him anymore. The hem of the bottoms came halfway up his shins!" Cassidy adds, trying hard to catch her own breath.
"Alright. Alright." Harry lifts his head, giving it a shake as he gives his sister a glare.
"Sorry little brother." Gemma states.
"It's a fun memory!" Cassidy adds, regaining control of her breaths. As it settles, she focuses on him, seeing a sheepish smile on his face.
"Yes, yes. They've all been so fun." He proclaims sarcastically.
"Well, fun for us…" She responds, pointing between herself and her best friend. Harry purses his lips with a squint of his eyes, causing Cassidy to lift her almost empty glass for a sip, to fake some innocence. Though, she knows he's unbothered by it. He was the one to create this situation after all.
She feels a buzz under her hand, and she flips her palm over to unlock her phone, opening the new message she has just received.
🗨️Derek: hey beautiful, having fun?
🗨️Cassidy: yeah, loads!
"What about secrets? I'm sure you've got some good ones to share about this guy that most people don't know!" Sarah asks.
She closes out of the texts, turning off her screen to think over Sarah's question. For a second, Cassidy believes she doesn't have any, only funny stories to embarrass the guy. However, only a moment later, she is reminded of the one secret they share. The one no one else knows. The one where their bodies were entangled in a sweaty mess in his hotel room. Twice. The one that cannot and will not be shared with anyone else. Especially not at this table, with this crowd. Especially not with Gemma, her best friend and his sister, sitting right beside her.
Her eyes shoot up to his, noticing his lips pulled inward in anticipation. Or maybe worry. Clearly, though, he was reminded of the same thing as he stares at her with wide eyes.
"Umm…" She stalls, watching him squirm in place as she feels her heart begin to race. What can she even say? Her delayed response is only going to make things more uncomfortable, and maybe even begin to look suspicious. She has got to think of something to say, and thankfully, to her extreme relief, she thinks of one other thing to share. "I do know… one thing…"
"Ca-... Cass…" He utters nervously, and quietly, potentially hoping to be unheard by the others, and plead with her not to share their intimate secret. He shouldn't be worried, she wants to keep that locked away as much as he does. Maybe even more.
"When he was younger, Harry had a crush…" She begins in a teasing manner, noticing his eyes squeeze shut. "On his teacher, Mrs. Hamilton."
His eyes shoot open with surprise, and possibly even gratitude, despite her statement being of utter humiliation for him.
"How did you-"
"I overhead you singing some cutesy little made-up song about her one day."
"You did not!" Gemma squeals, a question rather than a defense for him.
"Most boys have a crush on a teach-"
"She was 50 years old, H!" His sister interrupts, causing his hands to return back into his palms as he growls in embarrassment.
"She had a nice smile." He whimpers, and Cassidy can just make out the red blush on his cheeks.
Despite it being a mild admission, she does feel bad for revealing the information, so she takes a deep breath and reaches towards him, placing the tips of her fingers on his for encouragement.
"I… had a crush on Mr. Peters…"
"Oh god!" Gemma exclaims, her palm hitting her forehead as fast as the words leave her lips. "That's just as appalling."
"He had a nice smile, too." She adds, watching Harry lift his head and chuckle, sending an almost appreciative glance with his glistening green eyes. She feels a tickle on her cheeks as a pink hue undoubtedly begins to surface, so she pulls her hands back and straightens herself. "And now I need another drink!"
"I'll get it." Sarah states, bumping Mitch on the arm, causing him to do the same to Harry. "My shout, I'll pay, as a thanks for giving up all those details about H!"
As Harry stands, he rolls his eyes and steps aside, letting his friend out of the booth. Sarah winks as she walks away, and Cassidy feels a nudge on her own arm.
"I need to use the toilet." Gemma utters, causing Cassidy to slide off from the seat and allow her friend to slide by.
Another vibration from her phone grabs Cassidy's attention as she reclaims her seat, and she opens it up to see a couple more messages have just come in.
🗨️Derek: how long will you be there?
🗨️Derek: was hoping to come by after
Cassidy rereads his question, unsure as to why it seems to suddenly, but only slightly, bother her. He knew she was going out with her friends tonight, and that the two of them didn't have any plans together. But nonetheless, she supposes it should be considered sweet that he still wants to see her.
🗨️Cassidy: not sure, maybe an hour or 2
🗨️Derek: oh, really? okay
She places her phone back down onto the table and sighs, thinking that maybe she should have actually included Derek in this get-together.
"You good?" She hears next to her, coming from that familiar and deep voice of her friend, apparently now sitting next to her. She looks up to find his curious, maybe even concerned, expression waiting for her answer.
"Yeah, I'm good." She nods, but it doesn't seem to ease the tension in his features.
"Is it Cece?" He asks, scooting just a little closer as his eyes float down to the device in front of them.
"No, no, she's fine. Our neighbor is over at our flat to watch her. And she's in bed anyway." She replies, inhaling a deep breath and feeling an odd, random sense of comfort as his cologne hits her senses. "It's actually Derek texting me."
Harry's body tenses, very apparent to her, but maybe not so much to his other friend Mitch who is now listening to something on his own phone. She wishes she knew exactly why Harry reacts that way every time she mentions the man she's seeing. If she knows what it is that bothers him, maybe she can fix it.
"Right. And, umm…" He unclamps the clip that has been holding his hair back, and runs his fingers through as he tussles it around. "Did he not want to come out tonight?"
"I didn't invite him." She unintentionally blurts out, no longer able to cultivate a better reply.
"Oh." He utters, and Cassidy catches a small upward tug of his lips, which he immediately attempts to retract. "Why's that?"
"I just wanted a night out with my friends." She shrugs, doing her best not to react to his true, yet subtle, expression of happiness at Derek's absence. "He can come to the next one."
"Sure." He nods, stretching his long, tattooed arm across to grab his glass, instantly bringing it to his lips for a taste of the contents. Cassidy rolls her eyes, though only internally, at the underlying tone to his statement, no matter how hard he's trying to cover it up.
Another notification buzzes through, and she hears an exhaled scoff from the man beside her, slightly muffled by the edge of the glass still pressed between his lips.
🗨️Derek: text me later then
🗨️Cassidy: i will
She relocks the screen once again, setting the phone into her bag to focus on the friends in front of her. She meets Harry's gaze to find him smiling, potentially the biggest smile of the whole night.
"What?"
"I'm just glad we all get to hang out." He shrugs, a timid innocence drawn with his words.
"Really? Even though I'm counteracting this alternative reality you seem to have created for your other friends?" She chuckles, nudging his side gently with her elbow.
"Yes. Despite that." Harry responds, running his thumb along his bottom lip. "It's fun to reminisce…"
"Yeah. You're right." She agrees. "Turns out not all of my childhood memories were so bad."
[ flashback - September 1999 ]
Sitting atop her fluffy pink quilt, her little fingers picking at the nails of each hand, Cassidy waits for someone to enter her bedroom. She doesn't know who it will be. She doesn't know who she wants it to be. But what she does know, even at the age of 6, is that whatever she just walked into was something she wasn't meant to see.
"CJ?" She hears spoken softly, accompanied by a gentle knocking on her door. Her shoulders drop, feeling a little calmer as to who is on the other side.
Her mother slowly opens the door, keeping that quiet, calm demeanor as she steps inside and closes it behind her, allowing it to be just the two of them in the conversation.
"I'm sorry if me and your dad scared you." Her mother states solemnly, taking a seat on the bed and stroking her daughter's hair in comfort. "We were… having a little disagreement…"
"You were yellin', and yellin' is bad." Cassidy responds quickly, and so matter-of-fact, showing off how well she really does know the rules of the house.
"I know, darling, I'm sorry."
"I didn't like it."
"I know, I'm sorry…" Her mother sighs, kissing the top of her daughter's head. "We shouldn't have been so loud."
Cassidy leans into her mother's chest, feeling warmth and comfort appear as she is wrapped up in the hug.
"Mummy?"
"Yes?"
Cassidy pulls her head back, innocently looking into her mother's eyes.
"Daddy shouldn't have hit you. Hittin' is bad, too." She furrows her brow, remembering her father's hand smack across her mother's face as Cassidy entered the kitchen earlier in the evening. "I didn't like that either."
"I know. I'm sorry, CJ." Her mother pulls Cassidy's body back to her, the hold a little tighter this time. "He was… upset. I made a mistake and… well, anyway, I'm alright. Okay? I'm alright."
"Okay." She nods, feeling a hot breath on her hair, causing another question to want to wiggle its way out. "Umm… Mummy…"
"Yes, darling?"
"Will… will he-... what if I make-"
"CJ." Her mother states, pushing back to stare into her daughter's eyes, showing such a sincerity that even the young girl can understand it. "You don't have to worry. No one will hurt you."
[ present day - August 2020 ]
As Cassidy enters through the doors to the lift of her building, she realizes she hadn't sent a text to the babysitter, letting her know that she was on her way.
"Damn it." She mumbles, reaching inside of her bag to retrieve her device, hoping she didn't miss any important messages.
As she unlocks the screen of her phone, she is met with multiple notifications, and feels guilt poke at her heart for not checking it sooner.
Her finger presses to open the app and her breath halts momentarily as she realizes that every message is from one particular person.
🗨️Derek: have you left the pub?
🗨️Derek: are you back yet?
🗨️Derek: can you please text me
🗨️Derek: when will you be home?
🗨️Derek: Cassidy where are you?
Eyes growing wide and the noise of the lift reaching her floor pulls her attention away as the doors begin to open.
She steps out, her gaze adjusting down the corridor towards her flat, and notices someone sitting by her door.
"What the…" She utters quietly, catching up with her thoughts as she catches the attention of the visitor. "Derek? What th-... what… are you doing here?"
The man scrambles to his feet and instantly stands tall, the expression on his face being one of concern. No, it's not one of concern, it's one that is concerning. To her.
"I told you that I wanted to come by."
"Right, but… Derek, I-... I was out with my friends…"
"I know. You said you'd be back in an hour or two, so I made my way over." He shrugs, as if this shouldn't be a surprise to her at all. As if this was always the plan for the night. "You took a bit longer than you said though."
"You've… you've just been… waiting out here?" She watches as Derek nods, swift and simple, yet not doing anything to subside the shock and confusion that's chaotically taken over her brain. "Umm… l-let's just… go inside."
She reaches into her bag and the quiet jingle of keys captures her focus enough to unlock the door and slowly push it open.
"We need to be quiet. Cece is asleep." She whispers over her shoulder, hearing a hum of acknowledgement behind her.
They both step through the doorway, and Cassidy's neighbor stands up from the sofa.
"How was she, Mrs. Clarkson?"
"She was great." The lady smiles. "Went down for bed pretty easily too.'
"Well, thank you so much for watching her tonight. I really appreciate it." Cassidy states, more than grateful to have finally gotten to know her neighbor a few weeks ago, and the woman's offer to take care of Cecelia whenever she was needed.
"It's no problem. Cece is so fun and so sweet. It was my pleasure." Mrs. Clarkson states and suddenly glances behind Cassidy, seemingly noticing the man standing a foot or two away. "Well… I suppose I better be off then."
Mrs. Clarkson nods at the both of them, grabbing a small bag and shuffling towards the door.
"Are you sure I can't give you some mon-" Cassidy tries to ask, despite their earlier conversation, before her night out even began.
"You are just as sweet as your daughter. But I'm sure." Her neighbor swivels around, one hand up in front, the other on the doorknob, and a smile on her face. "I'm here to help, if and when you need me. Enjoy your night."
"Thank you." Cassidy replies, watching the woman walk out, closing the door, and seeming to take the positive vibes with her. Her previous confusion and frustration reappear instantly as she turns her attention back to Derek. "What is going on? Why did you come over?"
"A guy can't just want to see his girl?" He asks, a sarcastic tone to his voice, and his arms across his chest.
"That's not what I'm saying. But tonight was about me spending time with my friends."
"And am I not good enough to hang out with them, too?"
"What? It's not that… you…" Cassidy exhales forcefully, confusion clouding her mind enough to prohibit any complete thought or sentence to be formed. She still has no grasp of an idea as to why he's there or what's going on. "I just… wanted to spend time with my friends."
"Right. Without me." Derek replies, his entire body becoming noticeably more tense as she sees his palms curl into fists.
Cassidy pulls her lips inward, not wanting to say something she may regret, though she isn't even sure what she would say anyway. This entire conversation, and situation in general, is throwing her for a loop.
Thankfully, a buzz from her phone gives her some relief, pulling it out and using the new message as a chance to momentarily reset herself.
🗨️Harry: did you get home safe?
Her thumbs touch the screen to respond, yet the word 'yes' becomes a jumbled array of extra letters as she feels her phone being snatched out from her grasp.
Her mouth drops open, unable to comprehend what has happened, and she shoots her gaze up to see Derek's scowl as he looks down at the device.
"Harry was there?" He growls.
"Derek, what the h-"
"I fucking get it now." He drops the phone back down into her still open hands and scoffs. "Now I see why I wasn't allowed to go."
"What?"
Derek steps closer, and a familiar feeling flows over Cassidy's body, though she doesn't have the speed and steadiness to determine what it is. But she knows it isn't a good one.
"You didn't want me there, because Harry was there."
"Why would that-"
"Because you love him! Don't you? You fucking love him and you lied to me!"
"Derek, Harry and I are just friends." Cassidy replies, quieting her volume in hopes that he will do the same, for the sake of Cecelia's sleep.
A few more steps and he is right in front of her, their toes almost touching. It's normally something that someone would want their significant other to do, but this is not one of the times, and an uneasiness courses through her veins.
"Are you fucking him?" He asks, his voice no more than a whisper, though the intensity in his tone has doubled.
"We've talked ab-"
"Answer the question, Cassidy." He growls, a darkness growing in his glare. "Are you fucking him?"
"No! I'm not!" She replies, her mind swirling in a daze, only providing the most inappropriate memory to manifest at this most inconvenient time. "It's been years since we-"
"Years? Years since… what? Since you two hooked up?" He groans, throwing his head back and running his hands over his face, scoffing at her unintended confession. "I knew it. I fucking knew it."
"It… it was a long… long time ago." She utters, surprising herself that any words came out considering the lump now lodged in her throat.
"Sure. And I'm supposed to believe that you two are 'just friends' now?" His body resets, and a hand suddenly flies forward to grip her arm, causing her body to stiffen, and as his other grabs her phone and throws it to the floor. "I call bullshit."
"Derek… please…" She whispers, her past beginning to surface in her thoughts and feelings.
"Please? Please what?" He mimics, bringing his free hand up to grab her jaw, and his face hovering right in front of hers. "Please forgive you? Please believe you?"
"P-please… let go…"
A little thud and shuffling of tiny feet grab the attention of both adults, sending worry down Cassidy's spine. She hoped it may have caused Derek to release his hold, but he tightens his grip and she whispers as a fear sets in.
"Mummy?" The sleepy little voice sounds out from the bedroom.
"I'll… I'll be r-right there, Bug." Cassidy manages to get out, tears forming at the corners of her eyes.
"Mummy?" Cecelia utters again, clearly having not heard her mum's response, or not understanding it in her drowsy state.
"Stay in your room!" She shouts, shakiness and panic unavoidable at this point, as she hopes it goes unnoticed. Not just by her daughter. "Please, stay in there!"
She hears Cecelia shuffle back to bed, and her cheeks become wet, undoubtedly leaving long black marks as the tears drop.
"You… you need to leave." She mumbles, unsure if her words even left her lips, but desperately hoping they did.
"You think I'd want to stay?" Derek scoffs. He pushes against the arm he holds tightly, releasing it as she begins to stumble and falls to the floor, landing right where her phone did moments before. "No. It's over. I'm done with you."
She watches through blurred vision as he turns and exits the flat, shuddering as the door slams shut, and desperately hoping it doesn't draw her daughter out of her bed again.
With her legs out to her side, and her palms pressed against the floor to prop herself up, she feels anything but steady. How did she end up there? Obviously, she knows Derek pushed her down, but how did things get so bad, so quickly?
A single knock and the sound of the front door opening has her reaching for her phone and beginning to scramble to her feet.
"Cassidy, it's alright." She hears the soft voice of her next door neighbor try to reassure her, and she collapses back to the ground as Mrs. Clarkson's arms wrap around her shoulders, bringing her into a gentle embrace. "I heard the yelling, and the door slam shut."
"I'm… I'm sorr-"
"Sh. Sh. No need to be sorry. I wanted to make sure you're okay." A soft palm runs over Cassidy's hair and the peaceful gesture alerts her to her racing heart and labored breath.
"Cece… she woke… can you…"
"I'll go check on her." Mrs. Clarkson states, pushing herself up. "Is there someone you can call to come over?"
Cassidy nods, not having a specific person in mind, but giving the acknowledgement nonetheless. Her neighbor walks away, and as she hears the door quietly creak open, she turns her daze covered eyes to her device.
She sees her open messages, pressing the call button and holding the phone up to her ear.
"Uh oh. Is this a drunk dial? Or are you ringing to make more fun of me? Because I don't know if I can take much more tonight." Harry chuckles, and in any other situation, Cassidy knows she would be too.
"H-Harry…"
"Yes…?"
"I… I need…" She stutters, trying her hardest to voice any request, any thought, any comprehendible word to help him understand anything she's trying to say. Anything through the choked back wail that's threatening to push through.
"Cass… what is it? What's going on?" He asks, a concerned tone growing with each word.
"Derek… he…"
"What did he do? Where is he? Is he still there?" Shuffling can immediately be heard from the other end, and if Cassidy could put any extra thought into it, she would know he's putting shoes on.
"No." She whispers, feeling a mild amount of relief as she hears the beep of his car unlocking. But her breathing stays rapid and she clutches her chest with her free hand, as if to keep her heart in place.
"I'll be right there."
Her body begins to feel weak, her eyes begin to glaze over even more, and her hand drops down with a loose grasp on her phone. She hardly registers anything besides overwhelming dread and anxiety, though the feeling of her device leaving her hand can just barely be acknowledged. And then the faint sound of Harry's voice can ever so slightly be heard shouting through the speaker.
"Cass? Cass!"
"Hello?" Another voice speaks, gentle and calm, belonging to Mrs. Clarkson.
The muffled noise from their conversation fades into the background and Cassidy is left with the sound of her fast heartbeats and even faster breaths.
"It'll be alright. He's on his way." She hears beside her. "Harry's on his way."
[ flashback - May 2005 ]
Cassidy sits on her bed and giggles as she watches her best friend twirl around the room in one of the dresses they found in the closet.
"This one should work." Gemma asks, stopping her motions and posing in front of the full length mirror that is propped up against the wall. "You're sure you're okay with lending it to me?"
"Of course!" Cassidy exclaims. "That's what best friends are for."
"Exactly." Gemma winks in reflection, taking one last look at herself before turning around to face her friend. "I need to use the toilet, and I'll change in there too."
The noise of the bathroom door sounds out and Cassidy pushes herself off the mattress, bending down to begin tidying up the multitude of outfits that did not satisfy the specific look that Gemma was going for.
A sudden thud causes Cassidy to jump in place, and her happy, fun demeanor is replaced with anxiety as she hears two voices from the front of the house. From her mum and dad. That means, their happy, fun day is about to turn chaotic, and they need to get out of there. Fast.
"No, no, no."
She drops the clothes and bursts out of her bedroom to the door across the way, bringing her fist up to gently, but vigorously, knock on the wood.
"Gem." She whispers, keeping her words and actions as quiet as possible. "Gemma."
"Alright. Alright. Hold on." She hears in a response, an unknowingly chuckle accompanying the words.
"Gemma. We've… we've got to go."
The door swings open, and Cassidy sees her best friend's curious yet playful expression turn to one of concern as loud voices begin to fill the house.
"What's-"
She's not even sure what her main concern is at this moment, but what she does know is that she wants to get out of there. She needs to get out of there. They both do. She grabs her best friend's hand, motioning for her to keep quiet and begins to maneuver through the house to the back door, while the yelling only increases in volume and intensity.
As they arrive at their exit point, Cassidy's palm grips the doorknob, but she feels Gemma's hand squeeze her own as a sharp noise booms, quickly followed by quiet whimpers.
"You stupid cunt!" The deep voice of her father yells, accompanied by another sharp smack.
"Oh my god." Gemma whispers, and Cassidy's heart sinks as they sneak out of the house. She feels hurt, because she knows her mum is now in pain, and she feels embarrassed, because her best friend now knows it too.
They round the corner of the home, hands still gripped onto each other, and Cassidy lets out an exhausted, but relieved exhale as they reach the footpath out front.
"Umm, so…" She hears, turning to face her best friend, but unable to meet her gaze.
"That… that was awkward, right?" She chuckles, hoping to play it off as normal as possible. "Sorry you heard my parents… having a bit of a… a small disagreement…"
"That sounded like it was way more than a small disagreement, CJ." Gemma replies, her usual confidence taken over by compassionate caution.
"Oh, no. It was nothing."
"I heard him call her a… a cunt… and I heard him… hit her."
"It's… I mean, they just…" Cassidy sighs, choking back the tears in a last ditch effort to keep her composure, though she has the awareness that it's truly failing.
"CJ." Gemma mutters the statement of her name, and the dam breaks. Her hands fly up to her face, knowing her reaction has already been seen, yet still wanting to disappear into nothing. It's bad enough that those 'disagreements' even occur, but having her best friend hear it, know about it, makes it that much worse. And also, that much more real. When no one else knew, at least Cassidy could pretend it didn't happen at all, or that it was just a bad dream. But now? Now someone else knows, now she can't hide it, and now she has to face the truth.
"Please don't tell anyone."
"Well…" Gemma begins, grabbing her friend's shoulders. "I think we should… can I at least tell my parents? Maybe they'll, like, let you stay over."
Cassidy looks right at her best friend, practically her sister, and finds the sincerest and most compassionate of expressions she's ever come across. She can only imagine how much deeper they would be from Anne and Robin. Though the thought of anyone knowing her secret terrified her before, something about Gemma, Anne, and Robin knowing makes her feel at ease. If she wanted anyone to know, it would be them. The family she's basically growing up with now as her own.
"Okay." She agrees, feeling nervous yet comfortable with the decision. "Just, please, don't tell your brother."
[ present - August 2020 ]
Cassidy can't tell if it has felt like mere seconds, or a full hour since Derek had stormed out, so the new knock at the door sends a shiver over her body.
It creaks open, and Cassidy glances over from her spot on the sofa to see Mrs. Clarkson standing cautiously in the small gap she has made between the door and the frame.
"Hello." She states solemnly.
"Hi. I'm Harry." He replies quickly, almost an urgency to his greeting.
The neighbor nods and opens the space wide enough for him to enter the flat. As soon as Cassidy sees his short tousled curls, the small amount of sweat framing his face, and the terrified anger shooting through the greens of his eyes, her gaze immediately falls down to her pathetically shaky hands.
The fragrance of his cologne hits her first, swiftly followed by the warmth of his palms on her thighs.
"Cass." Harry exhales, lifting her chin with his finger, and she looks up to find his gaze flickering all over her face at a desperate speed. His fingers push her hair back on each side, and his thumbs brush over her skin as if searching for the answers. "Are you alright?"
Her brow furrows in uncertainty of how to answer. Sure, she is physically fine, despite the pending bruise that will most likely form from Derek's tight grip on her arm. But her heart, mind, and soul are in pieces. Not over Derek, per say. No, what hurts is the fact that this happened at all, that she let it happen, that she didn't see it coming in the first place. What hurts is that she has been in that situation before, years ago as a child, and still saw no signs in her most recent relationship. But what hurts the most, is the thought of what might have happened if her daughter had not stayed in her room.
"Cass. Breathe with me. Inhale for ten, remember?" His soft voice encourages, though the perceived gentle tone is wrapped with wavering confidence. "Cassidy… please, breathe with me."
Would Cecelia have seen what was happening, and understood? Would Derek have hurt her even more with her daughter present? Would he have hurt her daughter?
Pain and guilt strike every nerve in her body. She, of all people, should have seen signs. She, of all people, should have been able to avoid that situation. She, of all people, should have been able to keep that potential danger out of her child's life.
"C-... Cece…"
"Cece is fine. She's asleep. Mrs. Clarkson just checked on her before she left." She hears the words, though muffled by her racing thoughts. Warmth covers her cheeks again and her head begins to tilt by Harry's hand, raising her blurry gaze to find one of pure concern. "Cass, look at me. Cece is fine."
"I… let… let him… around her." She begins, eyes filling, unbelievably, with even more tears. "I let him… around my daughter!"
A silence fills the room, leaving only Harry's calm breaths left to encourage the regulation of her own. The heat on her cheeks travels to her hands, and she looks down to see them wrapped up in his.
"Inhale for ten." He whispers, taking a breath with her. "And let it out."
"I'm-"
"Please, love. Breathe." He demands in the most tender way, causing her gaze to shoot back up to his. "Breathe with me."
She nods, taking in air with Harry and holding it in as he holds her hands.
"I'm so… stupid." She states, releasing an exhale as she finally feels her lungs open and her chest release the tight hold it has around her heart.
"You're not stupid."
"I should have known." Her brow furrows, an anger towards herself rising to replace her panic as she catches more breaths. "And what's worse? I liked him. I mean… there were things that bugged me, things I questioned a little… but I kept seeing him!"
Harry's hands squeeze her own, so subtly, and she hears his throat clear as he pulls them away. His body moves around and takes a seat beside her, his elbows resting on his knees with his hands clasped together.
"You just… wanted someone… to share life with." He utters sombrely.
"The wrong someone."
"They're all 'the wrong someone' until we find the right one…" He states, a little chuckle following his words, clearly a little pleased with how philosophical his statement came across.
Cassidy releases an amused exhale and feels the tension of her body begin to loosen.
"And even then…" He adds, giving a small yet noticeable shrug. "Love is… complicated."
"I wasn't in love." She instantly replies, certain of that fact, even with the night's events aside. "I've… I've actually never been in love."
Out of the corner of her eye, she sees Harry's posture straighten and his gaze shoot over to her.
"Really?"
She is unsure as to why, but his sudden reaction and the following question have her feeling embarrassment flood over her.
"Have you?"
"I think so." He replies, his hand reaching up and fingers readjusting the clip on his curls.
"Isn't that something you should know?" She asks, watching as his lips pull inward, and noticing something she has very rarely seen in him, if at all. Vulnerability.
"Is it really love if…" He releases a subtle sigh, and as she looks over, she sees him begin to twist his fingers of one hand around those of the other, as if his rings were still adorning them. "If… it's not reciprocated?"
Cassidy opens her mouth with nothing to say. She's never felt that way about somebody. Anybody. The relationship that should have been her example for love had all but destroyed the hopes she had for finding it. She may not even know how to do it properly. Then when Cecelia came along, there wasn't really a need for it. Though that is a different love. Nonetheless, she feels sad for Harry. Knowing how generous and caring he is with his friends and family, with her and Cecelia, she can only imagine how much more he would give to someone he felt that strongly for. And for it to not be returned? She's surprised he hasn't given up hope. She sure wants to, the little she even had to begin with.
"You… probably shouldn't ask me…" She utters, wrapping her arms around to hold herself, and staring down as her fingers gently run over the large red mark that's been left behind.
"Okay. I won't." He states suddenly, slapping his palms against his thighs and pushing himself off of the sofa. Cassidy looks up to him with surprise and curiosity, seeing the formation of a mischievous little smirk. "I'll make us some tea instead."
He walks into the kitchen, doing his best not to clang things around as he retrieves two tea cups from the cabinet and adds water to the kettle.
"You know what though? We're forgetting something…"
"And what's that?" Cassidy asks, repositioning herself to get him into view.
"We are married."
Her eyebrow instantly raises, and her eyes flicker all over the room in an attempt to gather some sort of clarification, though obviously unable to do so.
"I'm sorry… what?"
"Shit. I'm an idiot." He replies sheepishly, a pink hue evident under the kitchen lights. "Of course, you don't remember."
"Remember what?" She inquires, only to be met with a timid shake of his head as the colour on his cheeks grows brighter. "Clue me in, Harry."
"Nope, there's been too many trips down memory lane recently, most at my expense."
"No, you have to tell me! Please?" She asks, channeling the sweetest her daughter uses whenever she needs persuasion to tip the scales in her favour.
He closes his eyes and pulls his lips inward, and Cassidy can't help but giggle under her breath as she watches him prepare to respond.
"Alright. Well, one afternoon, when we were kids… you and Gem were playing fairies." He shares, followed by a sort of grunt as he takes in a breath to divulge more. "Gem wanted to have this elaborate fairy wedding, so she made you the princess… the bride… but you needed a groom. So she found me and-"
"Dressed you up to be the fairy prince!" Cassidy exclaims, immediately covering her mouth in an effort to quiet her new excitement. "I do remember now! Didn't she put glitter all over your face?"
"I was hoping you wouldn't remember that specific detail…" He gripes, pouring the hot water into the cups, and lifting them as he starts to walk back to the sofa. He hands the hot beverage to Cassidy, and carefully lowers himself back down next to her, taking a sip of his tea before resting it down on the table in front of him.
"Well, the wedding was pretty magical." She states. Harry lifts his head, turning it slightly towards her with a proud smile stretched across his face.
"Bit of a rocky marriage though." He points out, and Cassidy's jaw drops dramatically as she swats his arm, causing his hands to be thrown up in surrender.
"That's because the prince was, and still is, kind of a twat."
Harry mimics her offended reaction, his hand flying to this against his chest, as if physically pained by her insult.
"The princess is still kind of a pain in the ass herself."
"Well, thank goodness it wasn't official!"
"Umm, excuse me, but if I remember correctly, the ceremony was done with a magic wand." He states, so matter-of-fact. "That's binding."
"Oh bloody hell." She replies, pinching the bridge of her nose, annoyed but mostly amused by the declaration.
"You're stuck with me, Cass." Harry grins, most likely from his perceived triumph of the argument, yet Cassidy can't help but feel as if he is happy with the sentiment as well. With the notion that she has to put up with him and have him around, in some capacity, forever.
She wants to lean into her instincts and make some jab about how she regrets ever putting on the fairy tutu Gemma had made her wear. But as she focuses on the green of his eyes, she feels a heat run up her neck and hit the apples of her cheeks. She's flattered by his desire to continue to be friends throughout the rest of their lives, and she has to agree that she wants the same. Despite all of their childhood torment of each other, he truly has become one of her best friends, and she can't really envision him not being around. For her and for Cecelia.
A sudden thud from the corridor outside of her flat causes Cassidy's gaze to shoot over to the front door, her lungs to gasp, her arm to swiftly stretch out to her side, and her hand to latch right onto Harry's thigh.
"Hey, it's alright." She hears him say softly, her eyes unable to focus on anything but the front door. One strong, warm palm sets on top of hers, the other begins to run up and down her back, tearing her gaze away and back onto the man beside her. The friend beside her. "You're alright."
She feels her expression go from panicked to pained, and she feels hot tears trickling down her cheeks. Another feeling, an odd feeling, begins to overwhelm her, as if her body is being pulled between alarmed tension and settled ease. The noise outside has clearly triggered an unfortunately familiar response, and yet somehow it is also being so effortlessly drawn to a comforted state. By Harry.
"Would you like me to stay for a bit? We can watch a show or something."
Cassidy nods, still feeling the adrenaline coursing through her veins, though the intensity is decreasing as she watches Harry's caring gaze stay fixed on her, almost displaying relief with her unspoken response.
"Okay, then." He replies, pulling his lips inward, attempting to disguise a small smile that still manages to peek through by the corners of his mouth. He leans forward, grabbing the remote, and settling back into the cushions as he turns the television on.
Cassidy watches him while he scrolls, and something about such a mundane moment begins to bring her a slight amount of peace. She realizes that he seems to be one of the people, one of only a few people, who does that for her. Who actually can do that for her. And she needs all the peace she can get right now.
"Harry?" She practically whispers.
"Yes?" He replies, the light of the screen brightening his face and reflecting in his eyes as he scrolls through the viewing options.
"Would… would you… maybe, also…" She utters, clearing her throat to gain some volume, and confidence, for her next request. "Stay the night?"
His head immediately turns to her, his eyes wide, yet leaving her unable to determine what emotion is behind them. What thoughts could be causing them to react that way.
"Of course I will!" He exclaims, and more tears start to gather on her lash line at how quickly he answered, and how willing he is to do what she wants. What she needs.
He turns away, reaching to the other side of him, and twists back with one of her large blankets in hand. Cassidy scoots closer to Harry as he holds it up for her, allowing him to place the blanket on both of their laps. His arm stretches behind her on the back on the sofa, and without thinking, she leans into him, the movement of their adjustments causing her senses to be hit with his scent. It's the same as it's always been, but tonight it includes an increased, soothing element.
A few muffled noises outside momentarily grab her attention, her head slightly pointing in the direction of their origin on the other side of her front door. She lets out an exhale, louder than intended, and then feels the slightest squeeze around her shoulders.
"Are you alright? Comfortable?"
"As much as I can be, I suppose." She chuckles, accompanied by a scoff of disappointment and frustration, wishing she was able to truly calm down.
"You can… sit back up if you need to…" He utters, and she feels him begin to slowly pull away. "I can grab another blanket, or-"
She sits up, but only slightly, and only so she can meet the green eyes that are now filled with concern and uncertainty.
"No, it's not that. I just… I just don't know if I'll be able to relax fully here." She responds with a sigh, acknowledging that the events of the evening have taken their toll on her physical and mental state.
"Stay with me, then."
"What?"
"Come stay at my place."
"Harry, it's way too late." She states, confused as to his thought process behind the suggestion. "And Cece is sleeping."
"Not tonight." He replies, a bit of amusement to his tone. "Tomorrow. Pack up some things for the both of you, and just spend a few days there."
"I don't know. I don't want to impose-"
"You're not. I offered." He interrupts, seemingly annoyed yet entertained by her attempt to not inconvenience him, despite his constant reminders that she's not. This situation just feels a bit different for her. He's not responsible for making this situation any better. Yet, here he is, doing just that.
"And it's very sweet." She smiles, unintentionally, and feels a heat on her cheeks as he smiles back. "But also unnecessary. We'll be okay."
"Truth be told… I need it." He begins, bringing his balled up fist to his mouth as he clears his throat. "I won't be able to fully relax, unless I can see it… see that you're okay."
Cassidy is instantly hit with so many things at once. Her lips shut tight as she tries to swallow the lump that has instantly formed in her throat, her face tingles with the vibrant blush that has suddenly spread from her cheeks, and her abdomen tightens with something she can't quite understand.
"It would help me." He utters, a sudden timidity taking over the confidence he first used with his suggestion. "You don't have to."
"Well-" She tries to speak.
What is this feeling? What is going on in the pit of her stomach?
"But I'd like you to."
It's butterflies.
"Okay." She accepts, feeling her heart race with positivity, for the first time tonight. "If you insist."
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i think after i finish grumpyrry next story will be bffrry
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Bitch please I’m 28 and “bffrry teaches you how to fuck and then falls in love” is still my softest soft spot I can’t handle it give me moreee
KDJNFBHUJDNF SAMEEEE
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Flame- the masterlist
Best friends to FWB to ….?
Y/N and Harry have been friends for a while. What’s a drunken make out or two? The feelings have been brewing, the touches have increased, but will will push them over the edge to light the kindling that’s been waiting for the flame?
Warnings: angst, smut, unprotected sex, dirty talk, graphic description, spanking, choking, etc
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COMPLETE!
1. Flame
2. Spark
3. Ignite
4. Blaze
5. Crackle
6. Pop
7. Smolder
8. Glow
9. Wildfire
Divider by firefly-graphics
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Flame 6- Pop
Hello please don’t hurt me for the love of god 😀 sorry in advance I will fix it…
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Series masterlist
WC- 2.4k
—-
Harry was pretty sure #1 on the list of best friend rules was not to fall in love with them.
He had failed. Failed massively and horrible and it was overtaking his brain. Watching Y/N as she sat across from him at the coffee shop, he felt his heart hammer in his chest as he observed her. Her back was facing the window, illuminating her from behind and giving her an angelic glow from behind. Her reading glasses kept falling and her annoyed huff made him smile, his own attempt at studying abandoned as he chose instead to sip his coffee, fold the wrapper of his straw as small as he could and stare at Y/N.
It was one of his new favorite pastimes. Watching her closely, observing her doing seemingly mundane tasks and becoming obsessed with the way she made them interesting. He had to admit he had never felt obsessive over a human before, really the opposite. Harry tended to run the other way as soon as he got too close to people because he liked to beat them to the punch. After some shit he had gone through he learned to leave first and didn’t want to see someone else walking away from him. Y/N, though? He was allowing himself to get closer and closer to her. Enough he had opened up his heart.
“Can feel you staring.” She smiled, a phrase all too familiar to her lips now. “What could possibly be so interesting about me studying? Or do I have something on my face?” Her eyes still didn’t leave her paper, though.
“You’re just a pretty girl.” He hummed, taking the coffee to his lips. “You do a cute thing with your nose when you don’t get something. A little scrunch. And then you rub your eyebrow and smooth the hair out of your face. Did you know that?” This was definitely showing his ass as being obsessive but he didn’t mind. Seeing her freeze and duck her head down so he couldn’t see her flustered was a reward.
“You’re a dork. I didn’t know that, no.” Her hand reached for her drink, taking a measured sip before placing it back down on the orange plate with a soft ‘clink’ of ceramic. “Then again, I study. I’m not watching myself stress over memorizing these definitions.” Her words were lighthearted but he could see the stress come back on her face as his eyes fell to the pastel highlighters uncapped next to her. Something Harry never understood doing because she was bound to dry this set out.
“M’sorry, love. Didn’t mean to distract you.” Harry wanted her to let him accompany her to study again. The last thing he wanted was another stretch of time without her and he had to prove himself today that he could keep his hands to himself- but she hasn’t said anything about eyes. That was impossible to keep away, so he wouldn’t even attempt that.
“It’s okay, it isn’t just you. I’m frustrated with it.” She sighed, pushing her glasses back up on her face. “You’re behaving for once.” The smile returned to the lips Harry loved so much, causing the cotton candy feeling to rise back in his stomach. He had done that. Gotten that smile from her. He wanted to do that more and more.
He went to say something back but he was rudely interrupted.
“Y/N?” A voice startled them both, Harry looking up to see a somewhat familiar face. He knew of the guy, someone on the lacrosse team and a bit obnoxious at parties, he wasn’t quite sure what he was doing coming up to them- let alone Y/N- but he didn’t have a good feeling about it.
“Hey, Tyler.” She greeted him with a polite smile.
It was one Harry knew to be reserved for casual friends, not the same ones he got, but he still felt a bit annoyed. The guy was interrupting the little time he got with her today. She was leaving after to go back to her place for another study group.
“Hey! I can’t wait for study group later. It’s really cool that you guys are nice enough to help out. Thanks for letting me join. I’ve never understood material so easily. You’re especially good at explaining things.” The guy hadn’t stopped staring at Y/N, not even taking a glance at Harry. It pissed him the fuck off.
Yeah, he knew she was good at explaining things. She was extremely smart. And funny. And beautiful. And Harry’s. He never did like sharing as a kid and he didn’t like sharing now. Especially not Y/N’s attention.
Fuck. He hated this feeling. This fucker was going to be studying with her today? When Harry was at home watching reruns of ‘Friends’ and pouting because he missed her? It was moments like these that made him irritated that he didn’t have the same courses as her, wishing he could join in and be of use. Be around her and actually make an impact studying. All he could do here was read her flash cards and help her organize her highlighters.
“Oh! I’m so glad it’s helping.” Y/N smiled, looking genuinely pleased. One thing about her? She was oblivious to the ways people looked at her sometimes. She could clock some flirting but the gazes, the schmoozing? It went over her head. It wasn’t that the compliments weren’t genuine either. Harry knew very well it was probably not a lie- but the way he said it, the way he stared. He knew what was going through his head.
“It’s so crazy you’re still studying. Do you ever stop?” The guy seemed impressed but it was like every word that came out of his mouth annoyed Harry more. He hadn’t even said hi or glanced at him which was rude, but he was openly gawking at the girl he was currently in love with. Even if she didn’t know- it was guy code. Don’t do that shit.
“I do! I was taking a break last night but we decided to come out this morning and see some light.” She motioned to the windows of the coffee shop. “This is Harry, by the way.” Y/N motioned over to him. “He’s not in the study group obviously but we make a good studying team.”
It was then that Tyler looked over to Harry, a flash of irritation on his face as he realized Harry was not liking this. As if the moron couldn’t feel the daggers being flared into his back before. “Ah, yeah. I know of him. Don’t think we met before.” He nodded before turning over to Y/N. “I’ll see you tonight. Make sure you bring snacks, I’m sure we’ll be going late tonight.”
The last words were said looking at Harry. As if it was a threat. A taunt. Idiot.
It was stupid because he had her. He knew it. Y/N was only talking to him this way. She wasn’t a liar; she wasn’t someone who was purposely flirting with this guy. He was testing his luck. But Harry had a jealous streak a mile long and it kind of made him pathetic.
“Yeah, we tend to go all night when it’s just Y/N and I.” Harry smirked. “She’s got plenty of good snacks in her pantry. I’m sure she’ll bring something good. Or we can stop at the shop on our way to her place.” He shrugged. “Whatever she wants. She’s generous that way.”
Y/N nudged his foot but Harry’s stare didn’t break from Tyler’s, the easily smug look not melting from his face before Tyler made a half ass excuse saying his order was ready and moving out of there.
“What was that?” She whispered at him, kicking him harder now.
“Ouch! Fuck. Watch the legs.” He hissed, reaching down to rub his sore spot.
“No! Why did you get all weird?” She demanded, narrowing her eyes at him. “He was just saying hi. Don’t make it weird when it doesn’t have to be.”
Harry stared at her for a few seconds before sighing, shaking his head as he reached over to grab one of the cookie bites on her plate she had abandoned. “Y/N… he has a thing for you.” He knew she was going to try and deny it so he shook his head, swallowing the bite he had taken. “I know you don’t see it sometimes, but I do. He had the look, the tone. I’m telling you, the dude likes you. And it’s annoying to come over here and try and flirt with you when m’sitting literally right here.”
“So?” Y/N scoffed, flipping her hair over her shoulder as she adjusted her cardigan. She had been irritated with his “It isn’t like I was gonna entertain anything with him, Harry. And besides…” she pursed her lips. “It isn’t like we’re together anyways. You never got like this before.”
‘It isn’t like we’re together anyways.’
Harry felt like he had been kicked in the stomach.
Immediately his appetite vanished, his mouth opening and closing as he tried to come up with a reply, but he couldn’t. The sick feeling spread to his throat and made it feel like he had a rock in the back of it.
She wasn’t wrong. They weren’t together, actually. But he had thought at the very least they were… something. That what they’d been doing and saying the last few weeks had meant something more than just fucking around. Harry knows that any other hook ups he had were nothing at all like this. There was no yearning or wanting. The moment they’d seriously kissed had changed everything for him. But apparently, it was only him.
He had read it wrong and now he was fucked. Fucked and hurt and embarassed.
“I… yeah. You’re right.” He said quietly, clearing his throat before closing his book. “I wasn’t like this before. M’sorry. We aren’t together so… I shouldn’t act like that.” Grabbing his bag, he pulled it into his lap. He needed to get out of here. To.. hit something, scream, cry, figure out what he was going to do to lose the shit he felt so he could be un-in love with his best friend.
“What? Why are you packing your bag?” Y/N asked confused. “I’m not done. We still have an hour left.” Her glasses were pulled off her nose now as she watched him place his things inside the book bag, zipping it up. They had an hour and 15 minutes left, actually. He had been the one needy for her attention- and now he felt like an idiot.
“Yeah- I just, I forgot I told Niall we would head to the gym. Planned it before.” He gave a weak smile, standing up and pushing his chair in. A five dollar bill was placed on the table. “Get another coffee and study, yeah? I’ll see you later. Have fun at your study group and let me know you got home safe.”
Harry heard her call for him as he left, shooting her a smile that didn’t meet his eyes as he rushed out of the shop. He felt like he couldn’t fucking breathe, his eyes burning a little bit at how stupid he must seem. At least in his own hand.
Of course she hadn’t missed him as much. She didn’t have a problem spending nights apart and studying because she didn’t care as much about it. She didn’t miss the smell of him on her sheets and she didn’t sit and stare at him the same way he did. And he couldn’t even be angry at her.
He had to be the one to go and fall in love with her. She had never asked for it, had never said that. He had let his feelings get in the way, he had been the one confident it wouldn’t change anything and now he had to clean up the mess he made.
—-
🍑: H are you okay?
H: yeah I’m fine
🍑: okay… don’t bullshit me though. Was it the coffee?
H: nah. I met up with Niall and went to the gym. It’s on my insta story.
🍑: yeah I saw that but… idk
🍑: did I hurt your feelings or something? Because of the study group? :/
H: no, no. It wasn’t that. I’m okay.
🍑: are you sure? I realized maybe you feel excluded. You can come with me tonight if you want!!
🍑: we can go and get snacks before :)
H: I’m okay, love. I’m not feeling so good, I’ve got a bit of a headache. Think I’m dehydrated so I’m gonna just relax at him tonight.
H: please be safe on your way home. Text me if you need a ride.
🍑: oh… okay :( feel better.
He was dehydrated, probably. Working out, the sauna and then crying did that to a person. He felt wound up tight, even after the workout. Niall had been a real one for not asking what happened after the initial one, merely patting his back. He understood that sometimes the best medicine was beating the fuck out of a punching bag.
Curled on his couch, he let the tv play as he replayed his own moments in his head. It was the first time he had rejected Y/N to hang out. He went to see her when unknowingly had the beginnings of the flu and ended up giving it to her by accident. But he couldn’t stomach it right now.
It wasn’t that he blamed her. He didn’t. He blamed himself for misreading signs. For making things into a bigger deal than they should have been. Y/N had never been anything but authentic and kind and honestly, he couldn’t blame himself for falling in love with her because it was so fucking easy to do. Though sometimes a bit abrasive, she was sweet under it all. Kind. Helpful. Fucking intelligent too. She had sparkly eyes and soft lips and having her attention made you feel like the most important person in the world. Harry had just gotten lost in the high of it.
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