#bet you'd like that. and he was like. addyyyyaa write a book about me! write a book about me! | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

el-im · 2 years

Text

todayyyy in class the guy i hate asked a stupid fucking question and antonio elbowed me to get me to notice he was saying something fucking stupid again (i noticed) and he said. i don’t know why you hate him so much. you two are exactly the same. and i said. what are you talking about. and he said. you look the same. and i was like. because we’re both asian? that’s racist. and he started laughing, then got a hold over himself, and was like. that’s not even what i mean--you dress the same. and i looked at him and he was wearing shorts and a sweater and a scarf and i said. i do not dress like that. (i was wearing trousers, patent leather shoes, a turtleneck, a massive wool coat...) he said. you’re both so pretentious. i said what do you MEAN.

#i am sort of. pissy #i'm pulling my head out of the sand a little and realizing that Now That He's No Longer Flirting With Me As Overtly he doesn't ask me any #questions about myself. doesn't respond to the things i tell him. responds to my questions with one word answers.#and i'm just like. why am i wasting my time on this.#what the fuck.#captain's log #i just dont get it. he's not nice to me anymore.#and then he IS #and then he ISNT #and i think. he's using me. and he's getting so much a sense of self importance from this.#today we were talking about grad school programs and i said i needed to write something for a portfolio and he was like. what do you mean?#you dont need to write stories. if they read your letters they'd know you can write. or even your notes. anything you write. and i said--no #you have to write something... original. with a narrative. and he said. why dont you write a book about me? and i laughed and said yeah i #bet you'd like that. and he was like. addyyyyaa write a book about me! write a book about me!#and i said. what--like a biography or just my impressions of you? and he said. what you think of me. and i said. i'm not sure if you'd enjoy #reading that. and he said. what do you MEAN. and i said. well some things i'd have to say are harsh. but true i think.#and he asked me what i meant and i (pressed) gritted my teeth and tried to explain myself #and i said. you think so highly of yourself. sometimes rightly but. my god. you dont take anything seriously. and he said. i DO take things #seriously! and i just--.#and i said. you feed people. so that they'll bolster your ego. you give them fodder to work with. and he looked at me and said. adya--#i dont feed my ego. if anything--you're the one making it what it is.#so anyway i hate him im sick of him he's so--#he's such a narcissist and he's so self important and i am simultaneously SO in love with him and SO sick of him #because he's so selfish. and i dont think he understands any of this. and if he does--he doesnt respect it. and he isnt kind about it.#and he deliberately misleads people to get what he wants from them.#AHHHH

11 notes · View notes