#being there for his Uncle Wade 😭😭 | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sciderman · 5 months

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wade’s not a loser he’s just doomed to lose in love because his type is controlling people who make him feel special because he’s their latest pet project and then it inevitably burns out and he gets hurt because he wants too much to please/to be someone else they like and most of them only want an idea of him 😭 that’s different from being a loser. it’s called being sensitive 😭

😔 see, peter's not exactly like that - in fact, he wants to be largely hands-off when it comes to wade's reformation but wade kind of - in his head, still makes those parallels to nate. it's why civil war was such a huge breech of trust for wade – that peter didn't "trust" wade to make the right decision all by himself.

it tanked wade's trust in himself - his own sense of pride and self-determinism, to have peter kind of - police him in that way.

wade's so apprehensive about this because he knows he's perpetually aiming to please. at the expense of his own authentic self. and it's a curse. wade hasn't really found a sense of self because he's always changing to be what his lover wants of him.

[x]

(and that's where the choker motif comes in - which is actually why i was reluctant to bring the choker back, because i wanted wade to kind of - have overcome this.)

the collar was symbolic for a very, very specific thing. and it's not a positive thing. wade's just a dog (bow wow) - his owner throws a bone, he'll fetch it.

i wanted him to have overcome it - which is why i got rid of the choker again after civil war was over - but - y'know, i guess he hasn't overcome it. it's still there. just manifested in a different form. and no matter how both nate and peter want wade to be honest and authentic - wade's certain that's not a good idea. that, or wade honestly - with his shifting brain terrain, doesn't entirely trust himself enough to know himself.

i think the unfortunate thing with wade is not only that he's unpredictable to everyone else - he's unpredictable to himself, too.

[x]

he doesn't put a lot of faith into himself, when it comes to restraint and impulse control. he's so, so uncertain, all the time. he never believes he's ready. never believes he's worthy.

he's constantly afraid of relapse, and of repeating the cycle, over and over. and i think the reason why wade's unable to evolve is maybe to do with the fact that he's not stopped to think about who he wants to be – he's so concerned with what other people want him to be.

i find it so funny that it's become a focal point to wade's character at the moment, because it was something the original draft of civil war explored before the uncle ben angle - wade was dragging peter for filth over him being too concerned over what other people think of him to embrace his own truth.

oh. projecting, are we?

wade - he just wants to be whatever will be wanted. whatever's in demand. whatever the preferred flavour of the week is. whatever's hot right now. whatever will get him sympathy, get him attention, get him approval, get him love. in fact, the entire deadpool persona was founded because he admired spider-man and wanted to be admired in the same way he admires spider-man.

it's a curse, and he's painfully aware of it.

so he'll put on an act and put on a mask and twist the truth to keep everyone interested. but he alienates people that way too. and for peter parker, who just craves some authenticity from wade - peter parker, who fell in love with the modest wade in swim trunks who put away the mask and lay down his weapons and laid his heart bare on the sandy shores of the bahamas...

for peter parker, it's kind of infuriating. that after all this time, wade still doesn't understand that peter loves wade without all the performances and pretence. wade doesn't need to keep pretending.

peter and wade are both guilty of masking - pretending to be something else to be more socially accepted or more appealing or more (or in peter's case, less) attention-grabbing. but where they differ is that when peter gets close to someone, he has this compulsive desire to unmask and be seen. particularly if he feels safe to do so.

whereas wade still lives in fear of it - every day. sometimes, no matter how close he gets to someone.

#sci speaks #ask-spiderpool #meta

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not-close-to-straight · 2 years

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First of all finally codependent! Second- loving in New York wade POV. I love your fantasy worlds but I AM a sucker for in suit in New York stories

I'm totally on a musical kick and guess I'm adding rewatching Annie to it!

Oh ya wade I'm sure you're soooooo upset you have to interfere with Peter on the subway. How TRAGICCCCC

Honestly I just pictured the Shang Chi bus scene for this subway scene

With less intentional beat downs

Oh mannnnn Peter crowding into wades space and looking up at him KILL ME

Peter being beyond scared of himself and wade already being his rock is making me so emotional

The fact Peter has no idea how much wade also is happy to cuddle with Peter breaks my heart

I'm in LOVE with Peter slowly figuring himself out on wades couch. All the break downs of the senses is a fantastic story plot that's never utilised enough

Gotta love peter always simping for wades size

Wade afraid of being alone again I 😭

Poor Peter thinking the outside would be better for his senses 💀 the fact wade was IMMEDIATE to his side GOSH

Mannn wade really is perfect for peter with him figuring out his sense and strength

FANGS FANGS FANGS FANGS 🔥

Peter breaking down in the tub BABYYYYY

The bath cuddle I think is my new favourite. I mean yes one existed in MTW but THIS

Poor May that phone call must've traumatised her she ain't sleeping that's for sure!

Ok ok wade got me laughing with that 'of your life so far' line

OK NO THIS LINE 'It was definitely not some wide eyed, fluffy haired, fangy teethed great ass-ed punk kid’s business...'

Ah the flying peter hug a fave

Ahhh brat! AHHH

The slow breakdown of peter in his apartment is BEAUTIFUL. Man the fact you've never delved into the start of the spider bite amazes me cause DAMN

WOW k uncle ben is still kicking huh?

Ok yep yep I am hooked on this whole story GOSHHHHHH

There is something just *chefs kiss* about canon era Spideypool. My AU's get so intense and long and over the top and that's always fun but canon era Spideypool is a special sort of AMAZING and I'm super excited to get back into it.

PETER putting his hands on Wade's chest and just peeking up at him "am I safe with you?" I could physically SEE that scene in my head as I wrote it and I loved it.

And its been an interesting exercise for my writing to really dive into all that sensory overload for Peter. Me and Alyssa @xkissmeimirishx were complaining about how in pretty much all super hero movies, its like "gets the powers, mild adjustment montage, saves the world". And obviously movies don't want to spend HOURS on the adjustment period for superheros but they are dead wrong if they think I wouldn't watch actual hours of like... Steve learning to use the shield and hitting himself in the face when it ricochets back. Peter Parker accidentally sticking to everything constantly or getting startled and webbing out. Extremis!Pepper getting upset and burning her hands right through her favorite coffee table.

Those are the things that make the heroes HUMAN (like Tony yeeting himself into the wall the first time he tried out his repulsors, I ugly laugh every time I see that shit) but especially with a teenage-to college age boy who just got literally buggy powers and now has to balance that with all the bullshit of hormones and school and all the regular canon stress that is just Peter Parker... you're telling me it wouldn't take him WEEKS to adjust? Maybe even months? When my work schedule changes unexpectedly I need a solid hour to readjust my entire mindset and day but Peter figured out he has webs and immediately starts slinging from buildings?

Anyway, especially in this AU where the dynamics are going to skew *unhealthy* we really wanted to lean into just how overwhelming absolutely every second of Peter's life is right now, cos that will really drive through that Trauma Imprinting that he'll do on Wade. I'm not saying it's healthy but I AM saying it's fun to write and will lead to some super intense moments later.

And yes, Ben is here. He was around at the beginning of the Spiderman movies... right?

OH! Yes! The flying Peter hug! It's one of my favorites! I have always imagined Peter just launching himself at Wade constantly because you know, size difference, but also I just think it's cute?? Cos Wade would always catch him even if he got flattened in the process and Peter would feel so safe being caught for once when he's usually the one catching people mid air (or not. gwen. ba dum tss.) (too soon?) so it would feel like being rescued and we all know how much I love the trope of 'rescuer getting rescued'

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