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#being bisexual is suffering
sad-pajama-party · 21 days
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I think when people hear the words "homeschooled" or "cult" they only ever think of kids that were raised on some version of an amish farm or kids that are completely clueless about the outside world but the truth is a lot of us grew up with internet access and a LOT of us REALLY fucking resented how we were being raised.
#it feels a lot more like being Sunny from Omori or Hunter from TOH than it does the “wEiRd HoMeSchOoL KiDs” you always see in other media#It's isolating and it's difficult and it's frustrating and you're always scared. always.#I'm not a quirky 12 year old with a retainer and frizzy hair (not that I think that should even be stereotyped the way it is -#in the first place) who doesn't know what the word fuck means or what a tiktok is#I'm a goth and semi-closeted bisexual and genderfluid person#who's suffered 21 years of repeated trauma and now I have anger issues and possible selective mutism#and I can't sleep at night because I ruminate and I spend too much time on the computer every day because#I don't have irl friends because when people find out I was homeschooled or see the way I look they don't want anything to do with me. 👍#I've had my fair share of screaming fits and fights just trying to get the basic respect and freedoms other people are afforded -#without a second thought. I was FULLY aware of what other people thought of me and that I was “weird”#and that I had been excluded from basic life experiences that nearly everyone else in this country has had#just because some passive aggressive fucker in a suit thinks it's “unbiblical”.#It's like lake from infinity train#catching glimpses of the outside world but never being allowed to participate#forced to be a reflection of someone else for your entire life and met with violence when you finally dare to have an identity of your own#and by god you are fucking ANGRY about it.#anyway I'll stop being edgy and go the fuck to bed soon#I've just been thinking about it a lot#I didn't really fit in while I was pentecostal because I was quiet and wore a lot of black and broke a lot of little unspoken rules#both consciously and unconsciously#and now that I'm out I still don't fit in#because I'm quiet and wear a lot of black and break a lot of little unspoken rules both consciously and unconsciously#(and I'm fat) ((and I look queer)) (((because I am)))#don't get me started on fatphobia that's a whole other rant#maybe I'll find my niche/community someday. rural texas isn't exactly the best place for me to look#but maybe if I move things'll get easier#or worse#but fuck it I gotta try#anyways. im done sorry for the text wall#vent
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danceintheskies · 4 months
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look at my stupid idiot dipshit son i love him so much
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theoriginalsapphic · 2 years
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Why I Believe That Byler Is Endgame (based only on what we have seen on the show). part 2
And by that, I mean: no color-coding analysis, no set props analysis, no actor interviews interpretation, no script analysis, no movies parallels analysis; nada. Only what we’ve seen on the show and nothing else.
This will use a lot of comparisons with m/leven because, despite the fact that some of you refuse to admit it, this is a love triangle.
season 3: puberty and changes
In season 1, El was found by Mike, Lucas and Dustin in the woods while searching for Will. Although the main goal of the party is to find and save Will, they also keep El safe and hidden from the laboratory and Dr. Brenner.
In season 2, Lucas and Dustin are mostly focused on Max, while, on the other hand, we see how during the whole season Mike protects Will and is showed that he has been trying to communicate with El this whole time.
mileven breakup
This is the first season in which Will and El coexist with each other in the same space, and how it affects Mike and his relationships with them. However, I want to make emphasis on the two key moments that take place this season of the two relationships: the breakup and the farewell.
The tone of the scene is unserious and carefree, with bright colors during a sunny day. The scene is not intimate; in fact, everyone reacts to El breaking up with Mike. 'Cold As Ice', a song that describes a lover who is materialistic and selfish (Mike buying a present for El instead of telling her the truth), plays in the background. Mike is left confused while El is rejoicing in the moment with Max.
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The tone of the of the scene is serious and somber, with muted colors and downpouring in the background. Despite Lucas being at Mike's house as well, the scene feature only them and no one else. In the two bottom pictures, Will's expression is one of hurt and betrayal, and Mike expresses inmediate regret at the words he just said.
byler 'breakup'
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She rejoices in her newfound friendship with Max.
how El reacts to her breakup
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He destroys Castle Byers, a place he built with his brother after their dad left and in where he took shelter when he was trapped in the Upside Down. He looked at the place that used to make him feel emotionally and physically safe and destroyed it with a baseball bat and his bare hands.
how Will reacts to his 'breakup'
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how Mike reacts to the breakups
the finale
Mike's conversation with Will
Before this episode, I was still on the fence about whether i was reading too much into it or not, but this season finale, in my opinion, confirmed that Mike probably had feelings for Will. Let me show it in images.
We know that three months had passed since the battle at Starcourt, and the Byers are moving. Even though it's not explained what happened during that period of time, it's easy to infer that Mike and Will are in somewhat good terms again.
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It starts simple, with Mike askingEel if she packed her walkie and with promises of talking to her often and of whether they are going to meet each other for thanksgiving and christmas. El is about to leave, after the conversation with Mike turns awkward, but decides to turn around instead and makes their conversation serious.
Mike's conversation with El
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...they kiss...
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... and his face is just pure confusion. love that open closet right behind him tho
The Byers move to California, and with them, so do his girlfriend and his best friend since he was five years old; to put it simply, is a huge change in everyone's lives, but especially in Mike's life. This is one of the few times since season 3 in which we actually get to focus on mike's emotions and perspective but I believe is one of the most important moments for his characters.
Mike
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KYRSTEN SINEMA ISN'T RUNNING FOR REELECTION, YEE-FUCKING-HAW
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punkslovepoints · 2 years
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obliterations everywhere (we blaze with scorching heat) Pairing: Steddie (Stranger Things)
It was girls, it had always been girls.
But then there was Steve. Steve, who stared at his lips while he spoke, who flinched like he'd been burnt when Eddie leaned into his space and whose heroism put him to shame again and again. Who made him want to be a better man. To stop running. To be worthy. To fight.
Steve was something else.
Oh shit.
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Eddie isn’t gay but lots of people make that assumption. Maybe they know something that he doesn't, because he's damned if he doesn't enjoy flirting with Steve Harrington.
Steve was pretty confident in his sexuality. He liked women. A lot. And sometimes, on the odd occasion, he liked men too. He'd decided that didn't have to mean anything though. Then he met Eddie Munson.
OR
Eddie can have a little sexuality crisis too, as a treat.
[read chapter 1/5 on AO3]
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darlinghowl · 1 year
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happy for dick grayson fans and confirmation that he’s bi from gotham knights. now i’m letting DC know that if they don’t confirm bruce wayne as bisexual like his two favorite sons i’m storming their offices with a flamethrower and committing arson
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unkownknowledge · 10 months
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I love people claiming to represent me saying my identity is a kink
#vent post#I am going to fucking murder someone. my identity is not a kink. this is not me exaggerating a well meaning thing >#a well meaning thing that I interpret as bad. I just saw a post saying that kink at pride is ok because lgbt is inherently a kink#AND THEY SAID THIS AS IF IT WAS FUCKING HELPING#LIKE THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH HAVING A KINK BUT I AM NOT A GODDAMN KINK. I DO NOT BELIEVE IM TRANS BECAUSE IT'S A FUCKING KINK TO ME.#I AM NOT BISEXUAL BECAUSE IT IS A KINK. I AM A FUCKING PERSON AND I'M TIRED OF BEING WATERED DOWN TO BE ALL ABOUT SEX#BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT THIS SHIT SAYS. IT'S ALWAYS ABOUT HOW IT'S THE SAME BUT NO. I AM NOT A FUCKING KINK. WHEN THERE IS KINK SHOWN#AS THE MAIN REPRESENTATIVES FOR MY FUCKING IDENTITY IT MAKES PEOPLE THINK I AM A FUCKING KINK#I'M TIRED OF IT. IM TIRED OF EVERYONR REPRESENTING ME AS A BAD PERSON OR NOT A PERSON AT ALL#EVERYTIME I SEE ABOUT SOMEONE REPRESENTING ME THEY'RE EITHER NOT LIKE ME AT ALL OR THEY'RE REPRESENTING SOMETHING THAT I AM NOT#SIMPLY BECAUSE WE SHARE SOMETHING#THIS SHIT IS WHY MY PARENTS DONT FUCKING ACCEPT ME#NOT THE ONLY REASON. BUT THIS WATTERING DOWN THAT IT'S SOMETHING LIKE A KINK. IT SAYS TO PEOPLE THAT I CHOOSE TO BE TRANS#OR THAT I'M ONLY BI BECAUSE I'M A FUCKING SLUT(note: I am a virgin. I meant that as in thinking I WANT to be a slut)#WHEN NO#I AM JUST THAT WAY. I DID NOT CHOOSE THIS. AND WHETHER INTENDED OR NOT PEOPLE HAVE WATERED MY IDENTITY DOWN#MELTED IT TO SUIT THEIR OWN FUCKING NEEDS#AND NOW I'M SUFFERING BECAUSE PEOPLE WHO I DON'T KNOW OR EVEN LIKE DECIDED TO SPEAK FOR ME#AND THEY SAID I'M A FUCKING KINK#heavy vent
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hare-there · 1 year
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In the most respectful way I'm honestly baffled by people who are only attracted to one gender. Like how??? Have you Seen Wamen????? Have you seen the wonderful himbos of the world?? What of the masterful gender 4d chess wizards????
"Just pick one"
HOW???? They're all so hot!!!!
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violetfaust · 2 years
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It’s so funny that every character in Supernatural suffers from Winchester Derangement Syndrome.
And in real life many people (lately, especially straight men) suffer from Ackles Derangement Syndrome.
But Dean Winchester himself AND his vessel, Mr. Ackles (who consistently makes every scene in SPN more gay than scripted), suffer from Castiel Derangement Syndrome
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carnivorousghouls · 3 months
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Day five with no reception. Climbed to a cliff face at the beach to post this. I don’t know how much longer I can go on
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severalsmallwizards · 5 months
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finding fic focused on wlw pairs is just a game of how many iterations of 'ship (background)' and popular m/m and m/f ships youre going to have to filter out to find something good
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h3nsh1n · 1 month
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kim dokja is everything. he's just some guy. he's the kindest person in the world. he's Jesus Christ. he's also Sun Wukong somehow. he's the personification of love as a force that powers reality. he died for our sins. he's a demon. he's an angel. he's suicidal. he's the more important being in the universe. he could be anyone. he's an inconceivable existence that expands along countless of world lines. he's a nerd. he's a concept. he's just some strings of text badly tied together. he's also the prince of the greek underworld. he was bullied in high school. he's an analogy for all the suffering in the world and also everything that is human and worth saving (but there's nothing in this reality that is not worth saving and everything deserves to be loved). he's a god. he's the sacrificial lamb. he's a yaoi man. he's an eldricth horror. he's ugly. he's your friend and also he's you. he's a very complicated anti-suicide metaphor. he's adorable. he's repressed and depressed. he has ptsd. he's the father of various human and non human entities and also the son of various human and non human entities. he's an office worker. he's simultaneously loved and hated by all the universe. he's a gary stu. he's bisexual. he's a murderer and also the most tragic victim of the irrepressible machine of universal suffering. he's a lover. he's a fox boy. he likes isekai novels.
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I want to go back to how things were.
I want to go back to when I believed that the progressives were on the right side of history, fighting against oppression in all its forms, and had critical thinking, honest compassion, and understanding in a way that the right--inundated with racist conspiracy theories and absurd lies--did not.
In many ways, I'm a perfect demographic fit in the pro-Palestine circles. I'm bisexual. I'm a young university student who's been progressive for as long as he knew what progressivism was, and I never experienced genuine economic insecurity or wondered if I'd eat that night. In another timeline, maybe I'd be there marching and shouting their horrible slogans. But there's one, teeny little thing that ruins it, which makes me fall through the cracks and renders me politically homeless, outcast by the progressive left and the MAGA right.
I'm a Jew.
And I'm trying so, so hard to hold compassion for the suffering of minorities who have not extended us that same compassion. I'm trying to maintain my progressivist urge to go out and help minorities in solidarity, but it's so hard when they make it clear that they hate us and want our state dead and gone. I supported BLM, but Al Sharpton, Leonard Jeffries, Alice Walker, James Baldwin, Louis Farrakhan, Malcom X, Jesse Jackson and many others either were or are wildly antisemitic, especially Sharpton and Walker, and so are the BLM movement's leaders, who openly sneered at Jews for being shocked by them by announcing, "I guess their activism was just transactional. How (((Zionist))) of them!"
And the queer community forced me out of their ranks for merely questioning whether the war in Gaza is a genocide, for pushing back against them saying that Hamas is fighting oppression. And spread antisemitic lies about me, claims of harassment and supporting genocide to my friends because I dared to question them. And they've chosen to side with those who would throw both of us off roofs for being queer. Cast out by the outcasts.
Like, what do I do? Our only allies are Hindus, Iranians, Kurds, Republicans, and Christian Zionists (respect to all of these groups for that... even you Republicans. This is one of our only points of agreement). That's literally it. No loud show of from indigenous nations supporting what is effectively the most successful anticolonial land back movement in human history. No push from "antiracist progressives" against rising antisemitism and genocidal terrorism from a reactionary fundamentalist group against a historically discriminated group.
And they aren't even just leaning back and being silent--many members of these groups are being actively antisemitic--especially the progressive left, which has morphed into the most antisemitic mainstream political movement since the Nazis. Instead, we're 'Zionazis' and genocidal colonizers who aren't even oppressed anyway, that's just evil Jewish Zionist lies designed to stoke sympathy for their unrelentingly evil nature, which we can't even help. The notion that Jews are intrinsically predisposed to evil acts and deception--never heard that one before.
So now, when I look at pictures of Pride Parades, a celebration of an identity of which I am a part and would have previously killed to attend--I wonder... would I be allowed to hold up a rainbow flag with a Magen David on it? If I asked any of their views on the state of Israel, what will they say? What about on Zionists who support its existence? Would all parts of my identity be respected, valued, and celebrated? Or would I be forced to leave the Star of David flag at home, pretend I don't notice their antisemitic views, and pass the litmus test of disavowing Israel before being accepted?
I feel suspicious and wary of the very community which I am 'supposed' to belong in. I feel uncomfortable. I hate, hate, hate that I feel this way. That I've become more closed, more cynical, more angry. Those of us who fall through the cracks, who hold multiple marginalized identities--queer and Jewish, black and Jewish, Indigenous and Jewish--we are ignored and silenced, our voices and experiences entirely spat upon as being a front for 'Zionist crimes' or whatever new buzzwords they create.
I've decided that first and foremost, I am Jewish. The me that was proud to be a part of the queer community is dead. I want to support the progressive causes of antiracism and social justice, but they hate us. They want us dead. They wouldn't view my participation as being a genuine gesture of solidarity, but an evil Jew Zionist seeking to con them and co-opt support in order to aid our evil apartheid genocidal settler-colonialist white supremacist illegitimate entity in a land that should really be given to Hamas anyway.
How am I supposed to hold space for other minorities when nobody is holding space for us right now?
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sotruebritney · 2 years
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had a talk with my religious besties about religion and islam and evolution and atheism and all that and ended up drinking a bottle of wine at the end of the night because I love u besties but wtf
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lunememes · 2 months
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🌙 * ― 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 𝐒𝐀𝐈𝐃 𝐎𝐍 𝐃𝐈𝐒𝐂𝐎𝐑𝐃 ( a collection of unhinged and relatable things said on discord. feel free to change wording as needed! do not add to the list. )
❛  you know bullying is my love language and you’re still here so… ❜ ❛  i mean... who am i to say no to that. ❜ ❛  hey, some might be into that. i won’t judge. much. ❜ ❛  we can both be dumb but pretty. ❜ ❛  because you wanna know why? fictional men can't disappoint me like real life men can. ❜ ❛ i need someone that’d end the world for me.  ❜ ❛ can’t be sad with dick / pussy. or nice tits.  ❜ ❛  thinking of how they're all old in this movie like wow i love dilfs and milfs. ❜ ❛  he fucking is like a ROACH, CAN'T EVER GET RID OF HIM. ❜ ❛  [name] do not encourage their antics, I BEG OF YOU. ❜ ❛  don't bully me, i'll cry. ❜ ❛  [name]..... why are you such a people pleaser. ❜ ❛  i am an indecisive bitch okay. ❜ ❛  don't squish his TUMMY! ❜ ❛  fair enough but what did you do dumb bitch? ❜ ❛ i have a flyswatter, i will smack him.  ❜ ❛  oh god yeah, add that motherfucker as well... the hate list grows. ❜ ❛  he gets no peace in any universe. ❜ ❛  if they get hurt, they get hurt. ❜ ❛  no love… there is no love in this house. ❜ ❛  truly, the braincells are not in my head. ❜ ❛ i wanna grab his waist. ❜ ❛  they just… need to fuck the anger out. ❜ ❛  could be worse but i'm judging. ❜ ❛ yes, oil me up baby.  ❜ ❛  don't you shush me. ❜ ❛  how dare you make me NOT distracted. ❜ ❛  i'm sure you've seen each other naked before, this is nothing new. ❜ ❛  suffer. ❜ ❛  i ... fucking THIEF. ❜ ❛  old men are just superior. ❜ ❛  sometimes people just deserve to be stabbed. ❜ ❛  bisexuals don't sit normally. ❜ ❛  i never said i was smart. ❜ ❛  what am i to say about this? want me to kiss your booboos better? ❜ ❛  JOKES ON YOU, I ACTUALLY DO, AHAHAHAHA. ❜ ❛  we both know you have a mask kink. ❜ ❛  kick him six feet under. ❜ ❛  to be fair i only killed those at the gate. ❜ ❛  well sooooorry, can't all be goody-two-shoes like [name]. ❜ ❛  i'm gonna murder you. ❜ ❛  it's because you're OLD. ❜ ❛  we're just ... too nice for our own good. ❜ ❛  and then you got sweaty [name] out here going batshit crazy and killing a whole building of people. ❜ ❛  we are in fact too dumb and yet here we are. ❜ ❛  actually i'm a liar, i'd let a lot of men get it. ❜ ❛  oOP NOT ME SEEING ANOTHER VIDEO/PICTURE AND I THINK HE'S FINGERING HER. ❜ ❛  he's adorable when he isn't being a gremlin and trying to randomly bite me. ❜ ❛  it’s in my contract of existing to bully everyone. ❜ ❛  well clearly you enjoy it since you’re still here. ❜ ❛  feeling a little called out? ❜ ❛  anything can be a dildo if you're brave enough. ❜
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