#because sometimes he'll say something that sounds really wise but it's actually genuinely unhelpful | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

queenofthursday6599-blog · 3 months

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You know, when I think about Arcane I can't help but think about the fact that I'm not a huge fan of how Vander handled things.

I mean his heart was definitely in the right place, he wanted to protect his children and his people, but to be honest there were moments where I felt like he was very confidently doing the wrong thing.

Specially in a child rearing sense. Now I just want to put it out there, that we the audience are shown a biased depiction of Vander.

Just about every scene he's in he's surrounded by his people who (mostly) look to him for protection, his children who adore him, or his enemies who are literal drug lord gang leader bad guys and corrupt policemen. Who are not humanized by the story until after his death.

For one there's Vi's pretty obvious eldest daughter syndrome, which Vander does nothing to try and curb. In fact I feel like in most of their scenes together Vander is treating this unhealthy dynamic as Vi being her sibling's leader and that she therefor needs to take more responsibility for them.

Even though I feel like Vander teaching Vi that way of thinking caused a lot of problems for all of the kids.

Sure it's great when your kids can work together, but there shouldn't be a pecking order among them, and if there is you shouldn't encourage it.

Vander fully expects Vi to take responsibility for Powder(which makes some level of sense considering she's 4-ish years younger than Vi), but also Mylo and Claggor, who are both the same age as her.

Meaning that if Vander trusts Vi to look after herself (and Powder) I feel like he should be able to trust Mylo and Claggor to look after themselves.

Vi should not be saddled with the responsibility of being in charge of her siblings, who are literally the same age as her.

If Vander is going to be reprimanding Vi for getting into trouble, he should be getting on to Mylo and Claggor just as much.

Sure Mylo and Claggor mention that Vander is going to be upset, but it's very obvious that the majority of the responsibility rests on Vi's shoulders.

Which, sure they look up to Vi and listen to what she has to say and what she thinks they should be doing.

But if it's to the point where Vander thinks it's gotten to the point that they will literally blindly follow Vi into dangerous situations because she said so. Then I feel like it's time for Vander to have a sit down with the rest of his kids and have the very important "Thinking for yourself" talk.

It's- You can't raise your children to just blindly follow their oldest sibling their entire life, and raise the oldest child to be the caretaker of the rest of their siblings their entire life.

Yeah, Vi needs to think things through a bit more, because the other kids look up to her a lot, and will go along with whatever her plans are, because they think she knows what she's doing and they trust her.

But also the other kids need to know how to assess things for themselves, rather than just blindly follow whatever it is Vi says, no matter how much they look up to her.

Like this man fully thinks that his 15 year old daughter, who clearly has problems with her temper and being impulsive herself, should also be responsible for her two adoptive brothers who are functionally the same age as her [one with a pretty obvious superiority/inferiority complex], alongside her younger sister who already has problems of some kind of anxiety.

Mylo and Claggor are just fully not held to the same standard as Vi in spite of being the same age, and literally getting into the exact same trouble. Their choice to go along with what Vi planned, is put onto Vi's shoulders when it shouldn't be, because if Vi is old enough to know better in Vander's mind, so are Mylo and Claggor.

If it was just Powder I could somewhat understand. She's younger, more impressionable, she idolizes Vi, she's not as strong or fast as the other three and if Vi forgot that at some point Powder could have gotten left behind or hurt.

You know the general "You need to be a good role model for your younger sibling because they look to you for guidance" stuff.

Like the fact that Vi feels the need to fight Piltover in order to secure a better life for Powder in Act 1 tells me so much just how parentified Vi is when it comes to Powder's care.

Which I do think originated from before Vander adopted the girls, to be fair to Vander. Vi gives off the vibe of looking after Powder having always been her responsibility.

To be unfair to Vander, I don't think he did anything to try and undo Vi's over responsible and over protective mindset when it came to Powder after adopting them.

#arcane #thoughts about Vander's parenting style #I know he probably did spend more time with Claggor Mylo and Powder that we're just not shown #but the show didn't show us that #so in the actual show it kind of feels like Vander is trying to parent his children via the trickle down economics way of things #like if he's just Super Good at parenting Vi and he leaves her in a role of responsibility over the others #that said good parenting will just trickle down the sibling totem pole to his other three children #and I just gotta be like mmmm doesn't work with economics and it sure as hell doesn't work with parenting #he wonders why they all go along with Vi's dumb ideas that go against the rules he's made #while he makes Vi responsible/in charge of them and the other 3 all know this #Like the man really put what seems to be his most rebellious (literally) kid in charge of the rest of his children #and then wonders why they're out breaking laws and getting into street fights #Sometimes I gotta grasp the thought that Vander very suddenly became a dad of 4 after never having had children very tightly when watching #because sometimes he'll say something that sounds really wise but it's actually genuinely unhelpful #like the talk he had with Vi is literally what gave her the idea to hand herself over to enforcers and act as the fall guy #the man gave paternal advice worded so poorly his kid almost gets sent to jail over it

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