A Copolla's Dracula fix it where Mina is the reincarnation of Dracula's past wife but she is still pretty much our train bissexual queen and a past life married to a despote is not going to make her forgive him for killing her best friend and traumatizing her fiance. She might have loved him once. But she doesn't anymore. No, now she loves Jonathan and loved Lucy and she loves her new friends (the Crew of Light) and is just a good person not keen on Dracula killing and terrorizing inocent people.

Jonathan chooses her through and through, Jonathan who would abandon his god and became what he hates and fears the most for her. That writes down the train schedules of places she never went because he knows she loves trains. That smilles when someone compliments her and keeps fishing for it because he just loves to hear about how his wife is amazing. And she chooses Jonathan. Could never not to.

And even if she never had met him she would still not have chosen Dracula again. What she and Vlad had ended long ago. Dracula like the asshole he is does not get the memo and thinks Mina is meant to be his, that they are destined to be together and all that. (alternativaly that but also Crew of Light Polycule)

Seward Summary!

It's been a while since we've gotten something from him, huh? A reminder of what this is, since it's been so long - Dracula is over a hundred years old! The understanding of mental health and ethical medical healthcare represented in the book are, resultantly, not so great, and may be uncomfortable, upsetting, or triggering for some people to read. Of those people, some might want more than the day's memes to catch up, so I make these posts to summarize what happens in each of Seward's entries, doing my best to pare them down into something less likely to distress someone. You can find the other entries with my tag #seward summary or through the masterpost I have pinned!

The first part of today's entry is from Mina, so that's safe to go read. Then we get to Seward's part, which features a little less thinking and a bit more action than we've seen from his parts so far. Let's dive in!

WARNINGS: vague drug reference, implication of restraints

Something is different about Renfield's behavior! He got very excitable and started sniffing around.

The attendant, aware of Seward's particular study of Renfield, tried to get him to talk.

Renfield is usually polite to the attendant, even servile, but was suddenly very haughty and wouldn't talk to him.

All he would say was that the attendant is unimportant now because "the Master is at hand".

Seward and the attendant think it's a religious mania of some kind, and Seward is concerned that that's a dangerous combination with Renfield's existing habits.

Seward expects Renfield to soon believe that he is God, because he treated Seward with no more respect than the attendant. Clearly differences in status between people mean nothing to him at this point, which Seward takes as vanity.

Renfield continued to get more and more excited. Seward watched carefully, but without being too obvious about it (at least, that is how I'm reading that, the exact words are "I did not pretend to be watching him, but I kept strict observation all the same.")

Suddenly, Renfield's body language suggested he got an idea of some kind, and then went to sit quietly on his bed apathetically.

Seward tried to get him to talk about his pets/snacks. Renfield's reply is that he doesn't care about them.

When asked about that, he gives a cryptic answer about how bridesmaids delight eyes waiting for the bride, but when the bride comes up no one is looking at the bridesmaids anymore. (I'm paraphrasing.)

He refused to explain further.

Seward went to bed sad and lonely with Lucy on his mind. He considers taking a sleep aid if he doesn't nod off quickly, but felt like it'd disrespect Lucy to mix thoughts of her with the sleep aid.

His insomnia proved to be useful because around two in the morning he got word that Renfield had escaped.

Seward hopped up and threw on clothes quickly because he doesn't trust Renfield to be roaming or meeting people.

Renfield had escaped within the last ten minutes by ripping the window out, and the attendant was quick enough at hand to watch which way he went. Seward is thin so he could fit out the window and go after him.

Seward spotted a figure, presumably Renfield, climbing the wall that separates the asylum from the abandoned house.

Seward called for backup to head onto the grounds of said house, a place called Carfax. Then he got a ladder to go over the wall and keep following Renfield.

He finally caught up to Renfield while the man was pressed against the door of the chapel, speaking as if to someone.

After a few minutes, Seward saw that Renfield was mostly unaware of his surroundings, and got close enough to hear what he was saying, which I'll put down exactly.

"I am here to do Your bidding, Master. I am Your slave, and You will reward me, for I shall be faithful. I have worshipped You long and afar off. Now that You are near, I await Your commands, and You will not pass me by, will You, dear Master, in Your distribution of good things?"

Seward has some uncharitable thoughts toward Renfield's focus on being rewarded.

When Seward's backup arrived and they approached him, Renfield fought hard. He's a very strong man.

Seward doesn't want to deal with anyone being that angry and wild again, and is glad they caught him when they did because he could do some serious damage if left to it.

Seward took measures of the time period to make sure Renfield wouldn't escape again or harm himself or others while in this state. Renfield isn't happy about this.

Renfield has some coherent words in this fit of rage - "I shall be patient, Master. It is coming--coming--coming!"

At which point Seward promptly decided it was bedtime.

Moffat Dracula Review

Plot Summary For People Who Don’t Want To Watch It:

Dracula corners Jonathan, Mina, and Sister Agatha Van Helsing in a secluded convent in Budapest following Jonathan’s escape from his castle. The castle sequence itself is explained in flashback as Jonathan recounts his experience, leading up to the realization that he himself had died during his stay there. 

Realizing he’s now become some form of undead creature, he attempts to kill himself via a stake but is unsuccessful. Despairing at this, he invites Dracula inside the convent in exchange for a true death.  Agatha and Mina are able to stay safe within a circle of sacramental bread but everyone else is massacred. 

When Mina sees Dracula disguised as Jonathan approaching them, she invites him inside the circle. He of course reveals his identity immediately after. Agatha bargains her own life for Mina’s, so Dracula allows the other girl to go free.

Some time later, Dracula sets sail for England aboard the Demeter, a Russian ship with a strangely high number of wealthy passengers and a bluebeard’s cabin no one is allowed to enter. He quickly picks off the passengers one by one, meanwhile himself leading the effort to find the murderer onboard. 

This culminates in the remaining passengers finally searching the ship— and the mysterious cabin which is revealed to have been hiding a sickly Sister Agatha inside. She explains that Dracula is a vampire and together with the passengers they attempt to kill him by setting him on fire. But it is unsuccessful. Agatha urges everyone to escape on lifeboats because she intends to blow up the ship with her and Dracula in it before it is able to reach England. 

Dracula does not die but remains dormant under water. He reaches Whitby roughly 100 years later and is immediately captured by the Jonathan Harker foundation, lead by Agatha’s descendant Dr Zoe Van Helsing. He leaves captivity fairly quickly however with the help of Frank Renfield— a lawyer he hired over skype. 

Zoe is revealed to be dying of cancer. Dracula offers her his blood to heal her but it doesn’t seem to work. It instead gives her a bond to communicate with her dead ancestor Agatha, which gives her more insight about the vampire. 

Meanwhile, Dracula begins preying on Lucy Westenra, a young socialite. Despite leading a seemingly perfect life, she is wholly apathetic and disgruntled with her situation. She allows him to feed on her in exchange for the high a vampire’s bite can give her. He attempts to turn her into a vampire but she’s burned horribly once she’s cremated following her funeral.

Her death leads Zoe and Jack Seward to where Dracula has been staying. During their confrontation however Lucy returns, and after learning about her appearance, begs Jack to kill her, which he does. 

Zoe asks Jack to leave so she may speak to Dracula alone. She surmises that all of Dracula’s weaknesses are actually ineffective. The only thing he fears is death, and humanity’s willingness to die, She then... resolves to sit down and die right there. But at the last moment Dracula drinks her cancerous blood which should in turn kill him... they make out while dying... The end?

If that sounds like it makes no sense, it’s because it doesn’t. 

Final Thoughts:

The plot was nonsensical and the pacing was very poor and completely unstructured. The story itself bore little to no resemblance to Dracula at all, to the point where I wonder why they even bothered to keep the names. 

Most of the characters were new, and the few that were ported over from the Stoker novel had hardly anything in common with their original versions, Dracula included. 

Jonathan was the most in character of the bunch, if he was fairly more genre savvy while stuck in Dracula’s castle. Mina’s characterization seemed to be confined to a single flirtatious letter, an endless well of trust for Jonathan, and constant sobbing. She was more of a liability than anything else. 

Agatha served the role of a genderbent Van Helsing, though her manner was entirely lifted from the Coppola film. This could’ve been very cool if they hadn’t randomly made her a nun without actually committing to it at all. She was not really portrayed as having any actual lived experience as a nun in the victorian era. And faith as a concept was only touched on for her to dismiss— hilariously casually given her position.  

I think the actress’s performance was fairly decent, and she def grew on me in the second episode when she’s not actually in a convent to constantly remind us how dissonant of a nun she is. But it would’ve been nice if they would’ve either committed to actually making her a nun, (a legit vampire hunting nun could be so cool!) or just abandoning the concept altogether. Because the way it was presented just felt like window dressing. 

Also I’m not normally averse to shipping Van Helsing/Dracula but having to genderbend one of the two just to do it is like... hm. Also the weird tension they had going on was very badly executed in general. 

Speaking of Dracula, he had to be the weakest part of the show. He was written in the smuggest, most infuriating way possible. And it might have worked with another actor but this dude just did not have any gravitas or stage presence whatsoever. And it certainly was not helped by the fact that his costuming and makeup were so fucking lackluster. 

Despite being the linchpin of the story, he had no goals nor any particular drive. He was just out there doing Stuff for Reasons and none of them were compelling. It seemed like he was just killing to kill and the writing was not good enough to actually carry any of the vague themes about how he’s looking for new brides (why?) how he’s searching for a The Perfect Fruit (what???) or anything at all really. He had no depth whatsoever beneath his stupid quips and self-satisfied demeanor. 

There was an interesting implication that he needed to choose who he drinks carefully in order to maintain his own personality/sanity/sentience and that without blood he’d… apparently just become like any of the zombies we saw in the show. And that is such a cool concept! But it was not really  explored, nor was it written all that well. Even though it could’ve been (and I think was maybe intended to be???) an excellent source of existential dread! 

But yes, in general there was hardly any depth to this show. They played almost every possible card they could for shock value, and included many unnecessary and frankly underwhelming esoteric concepts that went nowhere. There was so much gore and random effects. We had zombies, vampire infants, and Dracula legit wearing people’s skins. The lore didn’t make any sense either, apparently people just… being unable to die despite their body’s so called death is a common occurrence? It wasn’t clear whether Dracula even had much control over who he changes and whether or not they become proper vampires. The entire thing just seemed poorly thought out. 

There were a lot of easter eggs and references to previous Dracula adaptations (and even some unrelated vampire media). I definitely noticed nods to the Hammer Horror movies and the Lugosi film, which was fun. The biggest noticeable influence however would have to be the 1992 Coppola movie. I have never seen a show try so hard to be another movie lmao. They even went so far as to make a spiritual successor to the film’s main theme that’s about as close as you could probably get without actually licensing the music. 

However, while the Coppola film at least had skill with regards to the costuming and cinematography to carry its aesthetic, this show simply did not. The costumes, the makeup, and the special effects were all lackluster. The set was nice enough but was not shot in a way to really leave much of an impression. 

The first episode was abysmal— mainly due to Dracula’s awful performance (those disgusting fungus covered fake nails, that age makeup, that ACCENT) and the entire awkward af scene where he terrorizes a convent of nuns while naked and covered in blood. But it was at least so bad it was funny.

The second episode was the most tedious to me because it was less offensively awful so I couldn’t even enjoy the badness. There was definitely a sharp uptick of quality whenever Dracula was offscreen for any notable amount of time though. The passengers were rather boring but I liked the crewmen. And Agatha honestly killed it for the latter half. 

The last episode was by far the worst and yet the most entertaining because they just stopped trying at that point. 

Renfield was amazing and an absolute delight every time he was on screen. Dracula found him over skype for God’s sake, how can that not be fantastic? He actually utters the words “Dracula has rights,” and his argument somehow actually fucking works.  

And even Dracula himself was far less insufferable with the shift in dynamics. By being forced to cope with the modern world, he could no longer act like such a smarmy, self-assured know it all. Seeing him freak the fuck out at the sight of helicopters was genuinely fun. 

Lucy’s handling was misogynistic af though. It was bafflingly, needlessly awful. And the way she was vilified at the very end was appalling. They almost had an interesting deconstruction wrt her utter malaise for her life, and the implication that she actually resents her beauty. But then of course she gets burned alive, and then is treated horribly for it by the protagonists. 

Even though it’s clear she has no idea what’s happened to her body, Zoe doesn’t even bother to explain it to her. She just makes her take a selfie of all things so she can see what she really looks like. It didn’t seem like the show had a shred of sympathy for her, because “oh, clearly she was a narcissistic bitch and she deserved what she got” or something like that?? 

The utter indifference everyone has to her death is baffling. It was an afterthought, that seemed like its only purpose for existing was yet again just shock value. The scene, after her death, immediately shifting the focus back to whatever weird personal rivalry that borders on sexual tension  Agatha/Zoe and Dracula have going on.  

But all in all, this adaptation had me baffled, frustrated, and cringing through most of it. It was unintentionally funny quite often and I honestly enjoyed it, but for all the wrong reasons. I highly recommend it to anyone who wants to melt their fucking brain.

Dracula (2020)

(spoilers) I’m kinda sad that I didn’t watch this one with one with a bingo chart or a drinking game. Even with all of its plot mutations and character updates, Netflix’s Dracula (2020) is pretty much exactly what I expected from a Mark Gatiss & Steven Moffat take on the classic source material: a self-congratulatory, over-produced adaptation obsessed with its own “cleverness” and with its overbearing main character, sprinkled with juuuust enough moments of genuine innovation to make it really sting when it all amounts to a big dud. If you have seen Jekyll, Sherlock, and the worst of Moffat’s Doctor Who episodes, you know exactly what I mean. If you don’t, I refer you to this entertaining and ridiculously long video essay (that absolutely merits every second of its 1 h 49 min runtime) by YouTuber hbomberguy: https://youtu.be/LkoGBOs5ecM; even though I don’t completely agree with all of his points, he does make a strong, multifaceted argument on why, despite his admitted talent, Moffat’s writing usually ends up sucking hard. Anyway. I think the first episode of the three-part Dracula series does make some kind of case for itself. It sets a distinctive mood, includes some pretty solid performances, tells a coherent story, and introduces some truly impressive and creepy horror imagery. I also enjoyed the inclusion of Sister Agatha - even though her being revealed as the Van Helsing of this version is definitely one of those Gatiss & Moffat moments that the writers thought would be much more of oooooh moment than it actually ended up being - who did serve as a formidable opponent for Dracula for the first two episodes. As I said, Moffat tends to anchor his stories to an overbearing lead around whom all other characters revolve, and while that’s is definitely the case here as well, Sister Agatha does stir up the dynamics by refusing to dance to his tune. Still, the writing is also riddled with the usual Moffat plagues, which stay mostly at bay in episode 1 but end up becoming more of an issue in the second episode. The second episode, which fully takes place on the doomed ship Demeter’s journey to Britain (which I believe has been the subject of a horror film script that has been stuck in Hollywood’s development hell for years and years - I wonder if it’ll ever get made now that the story concept was basically executed here?), is overlong, and it’s weighed down by an unnecessary framing device that develops into an unsurprising plot twist, and by the general lack of interest in creating emotional investment in any other character besides the two leads. Just like the ship, the story drifts in the fog for ages but almost makes it to shore in one piece, only to be sunken down by the most stupid thing I’ve watched in a very long time: episode three. Yikes. I do my best to give credit when credit is due and point of the merits of things I overall disliked, but I honestly can’t say that there was anything in the finale that I liked. It’s a mess, and not even a hot one. It’s more like they dug up the long-dead remains of Jekyll, carved out the most awful bits, reheated them, and then left them out to cool down again. I could go on and point out every little thing I found exasperating about the episode, from the regrettable time jump to the lack of thematic focus, to Van Helsing going on and on about the “illogical” nature of Dracula’s weaknesses like it’s remotely interesting, to the clumsy narrative structure that picks up and abandons plot threads like it’s an indecisive customer in a thrift shop, to Zoe Van Helsing becoming just another addition to Moffat’s long line of seemingly “strong” female characters who are rendered basically powerless by the overwhelming charms of the male lead, and all the way to what must be my least favourite horror trope - a paramilitary, pseudo-scientific secret organization set on capturing and studying monsters (seriously, can we please retire this unexciting trope that has never once improved any horror property?) - but for now I’m only going to address the one that made me groan the hardest: Lucy. If you are at all familiar with the novel or any of its numerous adaptations, you might also be aware of the conversation around Lucy and Mina, the novel’s two female characters who both embody Victorian ideas about women and sexuality. A popular reading is that Lucy, the flirty little minx with various suitors who ends up being seduced and corrupted by Dracula, is the whore to Mina’s virgin, which reflects the narrow, black-and-white, judgmental attitudes towards women who stray from the Victorian ideal of the virtuous, demure woman with no appetite for sex or male attention outside marriage. In that sense, the 2020 incarnation of Lucy is a faithful adaptation of the character from the book. And that’s precisely the problem! Just because Bram Stoker’s book is sexist, it doesn’t mean that this version should be that as well. But it is, and oh god I hate it so much. Gatiss & Moffat’s Lucy is a glittery, uncaring thot who takes selfies and DMs strange men, because of course she is; shaming young women for liking sex, being beautiful, and enjoying attention is exactly the sort of thing men who cannot relate to women do when they’re trying to be insightful. And as if that wasn’t enough, they also give Lucy “depth” by making her resent her beauty in some way that remains woefully unexplored, because heaven forbid pretty girls should have any thoughts inside their head that aren’t directly related to being pretty. Even the shallow, dark edge they give to the character fails to bring her any sense of complexity and humanity, and she ends up being just a beautiful creature for men to gaze at in both adoration and condemnation. A beautiful creature who must ultimately be cruelly punished for the sin of being lovely and untameable. How’s that for some Victorian bullshit? More than anything, Dracula reads like a revue of Gatiss & Moffat’s (particularly Moffat’s) greatest and most recurring grievances as writers: a self-defeating attempt at outwitting the audience with “surprising” plot twists hammered awkwardly into the story at the cost of anything that might have made it good, ambitious world-building ideas left to die as soon as they’ve been introduced, an overreliance on a scene-chewing, dickish male lead character who’s supposed to be bad but, like, in a fuckable way, pointless queer-baiting that is guaranteed to elicit frustrated screams from certain parts of the internet, and terribly written female characters with inner worlds conceived by a middle-aged man who is evidently unable to imagine a woman whose every thought isn’t motivated by uncontrollable lust for aforementioned dickish male lead. Jesus.

Science Fiction and Fantasy New Releases: 20 July, 2019

Dungeon core factories, ghost machines, and vampire councils feature in this week’s fantasy new releases.

The Depth of Deceit (Elder Stones #5) – D. K. Holmberg

With the threat of another attack, Haern must use his new abilities to make a dangerous gambit. Doing so requires he trust someone who has betrayed him once before, and count on others who still don’t fully understand the nature of their abilities. If they succeed, they might finally be able to stop Olander Fahr before he manages to acquire another of the Elder Stones.

Daniel struggles to understand his connection to the shadows along with what it means that he can sit at the Council of Elders. When a new threat appears, his unique understanding of the shadows might be the key to survival.

Lucy continues her search to discover the longer game. With the Architect now imprisoned, she has access to someone who can guide her to where Olander Fahr might attack next, but they remain a step behind. A growing fear that someone has deceived her leads her in a new direction, but it’s one that will require her to make a dangerous choice.

Isolated within the city of Lexa, Ryn must continue to serve the Great One, but a new challenge to her authority forces her to look for power in a different way.

Plans unfold, but for the first time, all begin to wonder if the one behind them is different than who they had believed. And if not Olander Fahr, who is the real threat?

Factory Core – Jared Mandani

Who could have predicted that a simple mining mission would end up jeopardizing the entire known world?

When a couple of dwarves keep pushing deeper and deeper into the earth to find new veins of mithril to extract, what they unearth, however, is the doom of their race. Bursting out of the breach they created is a horde of powerful demons that only know one thing: to destroy.

Fast-forward a few months and the war rages on. Unfortunately for them, despite their bravery, the dwarves are no match for the sheer numbers and ferocity of their adversary.

In a last-hope attempt to save their kind, they decide to activate a secret project their engineers had been working on: a mobile factory made of bricks, brass, magical runes and soul gems. That sentient machine is not only capable of observing and learning from its foes, it can also produce the required weapons necessary to strike back.

This Factory Core—as they call it—will need to build units and defensive mechanisms to repel the demon army and prevent it from razing the city. But this will prove to be an almost impossible task as the invaders, led by a vicious commander, have more than one trick up their own sleeve…

The Forging of Dawn – Jacob Peppers

No armies march. No generals marshal their troops on some distant battlefield. Yet the people of Entarna are at war.

And they are losing.

The nightwalkers have returned, creatures that roam the darkness searching for anyone foolish or unfortunate enough to find themselves without light to protect them. And the people of Entarna carry lanterns and torches, wielding them as shields against the night’s creatures.

But sooner or later all lights fade. All flames go out.

Torrik and his wife were once soldiers in the war against the Dark. But when their son Alesh was born, they left that life behind them in the hopes of keeping him safe. But Alesh is no normal child, and Torrik will be forced to learn a hard truth.

Mortals plan. Mortals hope. And the gods laugh.

Finding themselves in the center of a conspiracy threatening the entire realm, Torrik and his wife must try to become the people they once were, people they’d thought they’d left behind long ago.

For when all lights go out…darkness reigns.

The Ghost Machine – Kristen Brand

Ella Rosenfeld doesn’t feel insane. In fact, she feels quite normal. Exactly how she did before the accident.

Until the sun goes down. Then the hallucinations start…and the ghosts come. Sometimes they speak to her. Sometimes they merely stare. But they couldn’t possibly be real, could they?

Checking herself into an asylum in the mountains of Eastern Europe, Ella hopes the doctor there can cure her. She doesn’t want to be a burden to her family. She doesn’t want to keep seeing ghosts, or whatever they are, every night. Desperate for relief, she’ll try anything to banish the dead.

But there is no solace to be found. Only silence, knitting, and cruelty. Soon Ella realizes that while she could check herself into the asylum, she cannot check herself out. At the mercy of the doctor, her treatments grow more barbarous and agonizing by the day.

Ella must escape before the horrific experiments leave her dead. Or completely mad. But her only hope is the surly and stubborn Baron. Only he can stand between her and the twisted treatments her Doctor insists are necessary.

Will the Baron help Ella or betray her? And what terrible fate is waiting for Ella beneath the asylum?

Godless (Feathers and Fire #7) – Shayne Silvers

Callie Penrose is back to murder vampires and chew bubblegum. And she’s all out of bubblegum.

Callie has had a rough few days. Five minutes after discovering she had a Godfather, she learned that the future of the world depended on the two of them taking an immediate road trip.

To Castle Dracula—a place even the supernatural community believed to be an urban myth, dead and abandoned long ago when Dracula had perished at the hands of Van Helsing, Mina, and Jonathan Harker.

Except…Dracula and his castle were alive and well. Worse, he had been secretly running the Sanguine Council—the governmental body of every vampire in the world—ever since his alleged death, with none the wiser. Not even the vampires.

And Callie’s first Godfather-daughter dance was to go assassinate the Sultan of Suck once and for all.

But she soon learns that Dracula is the absolute least of her concerns. And that some bonds should never be forged. Because once made, they can never be broken…

Callie Penrose is about to show the world fear in a palmful of blood.

Lighting Distant Shores (Challenger’s Call #4) – Nathan A. Thompson

He was too late to stop the darkness from falling.

But there’s still time to raise up a light.

Wes Malcolm has arrived to the world of the Sun-Jeweled Seas, but the cataclysm of this world has already passed. Darkness covers the waters. All but a handful of people have vanished without a trace. And something dark and burning hunts the survivors hiding in their islands.

But the Challenger-Lord of Avalon refuses to believe that all is lost.

He is no longer the damaged teenaged orphan that stumbled into the mists of Avalon. He has rescued two worlds, seen the dead resurrected, unearthed forgotten magics, and received the power of two cosmic dragons. Every impossibility thrown at him so far has proven to be a lie.

He will not accept defeat here, either. Not until he drives back the darkness hiding every shore.

  Science Fiction and Fantasy New Releases: 20 July, 2019 published first on https://sixchexus.weebly.com/