#because everyone hates long post
Text
You know what's interesting to me? For all people keep claiming at every juncture that perhaps Bells Hells will come around on the gods and see the harm they do (which, as discussed extensively, is, half the time, simply not intervening) not only have they never done so, but also they never quite cross the line into saying the party should join the Ruby Vanguard or aid them - and indeed, they defend against it - so what does this achieve? It feels like they're asking for a story in which the party stands idly by, which isn't much of a story nor, if I may connect this briefly to the real world, a political stance anyone should be proud of.
That's honestly the frustration with the gods and the "what if the Vanguard has a point" conversations in-game. What do we do then? Do we allow the organization that will murder anyone for pretty much any reason that loosely ties into their goals run rampant? The group that (perhaps unwittingly, but then again, Otohan's blades had that poison) disrupted magic world-wide, and caused people who had the misfortune to live at nexus points to be teleported (most, as commoners, without means of return). While also fomenting worldwide unrest?
Those were the arguments before the trip to Ruidus; with the reveal of the Vanguard's goals to invade Exandria, the situation becomes even more dire. Do you let the Imperium take over the planet?
And do the arguments against the gods even hold up? If Ludinus is so angry at them for the Calamity, what does it say that he destroyed Western Wildemount's first post-Calamity society for entirely selfish means? (What does it say about the validity of vengeance as a motivator?) What does it say that Laudna told Imogen she could always just live in a cottage quietly without issue before the solstice even happened? (Would this still be true if the Imperium controls the world?) What does it say that when faced with a furious, grieving party and the daughter she keeps telling herself was her reason for all of this, Liliana can't provide an answer to the question of what the gods have done other than that their followers will retaliate...for, you know, the Vanguard's endless list of murders. (That is how the Vanguard and Imperium tend to think, huh? "How dare your face get in the way of my boot; how dare you hit me back when I strike you.") She can't even provide a positive answer - why is Predathos better - other than "I feel it", even though Imogen and Fearne know firsthand that Predathos can provide artificial feelings of elation. Given all the harm Ludinus has done in pursuit, why isn't the conclusion "the gods should have crashed Aeor in such a way that the tech was unrecoverable?"
Even as early as the first real discussion on what the party should do, the fandom always stopped short of saying "no, Imogen's right, they should join up with the people who killed half the party," it was always "no, she didn't really mean it, she just was trying to connect with her mother." Well, she's connected with her mother, and at this point the party doesn't even care about the gods particularly (their only divinely-connected party member having died to prevent the Vanguard from killing all of them). So they will stop the Vanguard; as Ashton says, the means are unforgiveable. As Laudna says, it's not safe to bet on Predathos's apathy. As Imogen says, she's done running; the voice that she used to think of as a lifeline belongs to someone she doesn't trust. So I guess my question is: if they're stopping the people who are trying to kill the gods (and defense of the gods isn't remotely their personal motivation)...do you think the next phase of the campaign is Bells Hells personally killing the gods? Reconstructing the Aeor tech and hoping none of their allies notice? How does this end? Does your ideology ever get enacted? Or is this entirely moot and pointless and the story ends with Bells Hells saying "well, I'm really glad we stopped the people who [insert list of Vanguard atrocities from above]; none of us follow the gods or plan to, but honestly, the status quo we return to is preferable to whatever nightmare Ludinus had concocted in his violent quest for power and revenge"?
#i've got a lot to do today so I think I'm done posting but#cr spoilers#i called that this particular cohort of fans had empathy only for those like them and were terrified of player agency like. 18 mos ago#and i have never been proven wrong. zero analysis just a constant demand that everyone coddle their feelings and confirm their biases#literally will straight up fabricate lore and cry you're disrespecting a pretend person for not including it in your considerations#absolutely SHIT understanding of actual lore. utter incapacity to follow a logical throughline to its conclusion#it's like. wow. wonder why you're so focused on hypocrisy and you overreact to the word selfish#the reason they hate or fear orym (they say they don't...but that just means they want him to go to a reeducation camp instead of die)#is bc i think they are truly terrified of the idea that people can not just hold opinions that are against theirs but stand fast by them#easier to stan the villain because then they die and you can feel wronged and betrayed and wallow in a sense of continual victimhood#than to like a character who might last long enough to call you the idiot and asshole that you are#but it's also funny bc literally if orym weren't there in the latest convo the conclusion is the same.#ashton's had the same opinion of the vanguard the whole time (and it's not positive) but that's not under scrutiny#probably bc it doesn't allow people to be ghoulish in the most cringeworthy way possible
92 notes
·
View notes
Text
[Tuvok & Janeway: Control, Distance, Duty & Connection.]
Sources: St Voyager Transcripts / Mitski 'First Love Late Spring' / Disco Elysium
#web weaving#star trek web weaving#st voyager#Kathryn Janeway#Tuvok#be the change you want to see in the world - make a long post about Tuvok & Janeway's similarities <- angel on my shoulder#I feel like a lot of people see them as 'opposites attract' sort of friends where Janeway is unhinged & Tuvok reigns her in#but in reality I think that while there is that element in there (exacerbated HEAVILY by their delta quad circumstances)#what I see most in their relationship is how they both value loyalty and duty above all and are extremely rigid with themselves#and the people around them. How they both have to maintain distance from others bc of their positions as captain & vulcan#I hate when people dismiss Tuvok as not being remotely interested in Maryana or Noss - it erases an interesting struggle that he and Janewa#both share - their desire to stay loyal to their spouses vs the 70 years of loneliness that that loyalty demands of them#But they BOTH triumph and they BOTH remain loyal (Tuvok until he returns to T'Pel and Janeway until Mark informs her that it's over)#and for both of them it's a little bit insane for them to do that.#Isn't it more interesting that Janeway and Tuvok both have feelings for people other than their spouses but don't give in#to that temptation?#They're both people who live very fastidiously by codes. Either written codes or moral codes - they very rarely if ever do things because#it's what THEY want to do. I'd say they're the least emotion-driven members of the crew and yes I'm including Seven because Seven#has a very...how to describe? It's a blunt and insular selfishness. She does what SHE wants to do and doesn't really care about others.#To me that's emotion-driven. Or...personal desire-driven? Not a bad thing at all but very different from Janeway & Tuvok who#are always more 'this is logical' or 'this is for the crew' rarely do they think 'this is what I want' bc they can't afford to#for different reasons (captain & vulcan)#they both also are in the most 'caretaking' positions on the ship from my POV. Security and Captain - both are directly in charge of#ship and crew safety.#Janeway & Tuvok#star trek voyager#st voy#when I say caretaking I'm NOT saying they're everyone's mom and dad or whatever - I'm saying they're in positions where they always#have to think about the greater good and the crew as a whole and how much danger is acceptable etc etc.#Janeway is always killing herself for the crew but Tuvok is right there beside her
72 notes
·
View notes
Text
#it's the way he solos everyone else despite getting almost no screentime because the devs hate him for no reason#please i'm dying simeon is SUCH a good character. simeon/mc kills me EVERY time#obey me simeon#simeon x mc#simeon#obey me#obey me nightbringer#obey me nightbringer spoilers#obey me spoilers#i didn't care for this season or how it ended one bit + i'm still mad about how poorly the devs treat diavolo#but as a barbatos/simeon/solomon “main” this lesson was a trip#long post /
89 notes
·
View notes
Text
This week on "CJ needs to gush about DAO": Morrigan's dark ritual.
I adore Origins because depending on how serious you take roleplay, every decision you make is a thread that leads back to your origin, and in this case of the ritual, who you choose to romance can have a major impact on how you handle this choice.
For context, my canon run is with a female Tabris who romances Alistair and keeps him as a Grey Warden, and is close friends with Morrigan. It's more in character for my Tabris to reject Morrigan's ritual and not even bring it up to Alistair, which would result in her leaving him behind while she makes the ultimate sacrifice in killing the archdemon... however, agreeing to convince Alistair to do the ritual with Morrigan is the only choice in the entire game where I break roleplay because I'm selfish and weak and I want Tabris to live.
I have a lot of strong feelings about the ritual, like it hurts me. It makes me want to chew on furniture. I can talk about it until I can talk no more. I so badly want to be strong enough to remain in character and reject the ritual.
Let me explain: Tabris survives an origin that deals with sexual assault. She gets kidnapped on her wedding day, she watches the other kidnapped women and her husband get murdered, and then is too late to save Shianni from being assaulted... and Tabris carries that trauma with her throughout the entire game.
If the way to save her life is to ask the two most important people she cares about; one being her lover and the other being her best friend; who she knows hate each other, to have dubiously consensual sex in order to make a baby to absorb the old god soul... she's saying no. The last thing Tabris would ever do is put someone into a sexual situation where consent is at all dubious after what she saw happen to Shianni and nearly happened to herself. She'd rather die than force that upon Alistair and Morrigan.
That's what I mean when I say origin affects everything; I know some will side eye that with "Really? Your warden would rather die than let Alistair sleep with another woman? It's one time, and Alistair agrees to it, so no one needs to die?"
Let me be clear in saying this isn't a "Morrigan slept with my man" issue. Sure, that part's awkward and it sucks, but that's not even breaking water tension, let alone diving into the deep waters to the core of the issue.
For my Tabris, this is about betrayal, consent, and accepting fate.
The person offering Tabris this deal is someone she thought of as a trusted friend who has actually been lying to her the entire time. It doesn't matter what Morrigan's intentions are now or if she genuinely wants to save the wardens. She knew from the beginning why Flemeth sent her with them, she admits as much. She knew a warden would need to make the ultimate sacrifice and then leveraged that to get what she wants. Morrigan waited until the night before, when Alistair and the warden learn one of them has to die to defeat the archdemon, and took advantage of the high running emotions and possibly the fear of dying to make the warden agree to her ritual.
At least, that's how my Tabris interprets this confrontation. She feels betrayed by someone she came to love like a sister and went out of her way to help Morrigan with her mother upon learning what's in Flemeth's grimoire. And then that someone tells her no one needs to die, she just needs to convince Alistair to sleep with her... which is a huge fucking problem.
The Alistair and Tabris romance is slow; it took a long time for either of them to be comfortable with being emotionally vulnerable and trusting each other with basic intimacy, let alone sex. Tabris is mortified at the idea of putting Alistair in this situation. Not only would it feel like a betrayal on her part to ask that of him, but she knows the last thing Alistair ever wants to do is father a bastard who then goes on to grow up without him. How could she possibly ask him to do that?
Then you consider that ritual or no, there isn't a guarantee that they'll survive anyway. Say they do the ritual and Tabris dies anyway; she made Alistair sleep with Morrigan in order to save her and then she died anyway. Or if Alistair dies then Tabris gets to live with the fact that the last person Alistair was with was a woman he hates because she asked that of him… and either way, Morrigan gets to walk away with what she wanted.
Tabris led the group, and she's accepted that if Riordan dies [which he does] then she'll be the one to make the sacrifice, even if it means breaking both hers and Alistair's heart.... except she doesn't because I'm a coward who doesn't want to lose her because my worldstate isn't good without her in it but I also refuse to lose Alistair so I just pretend it plays out differently in my head it's fine-
But... that's how I play Tabris and view the situation. My friend @pi-creates and I have discussed the dark ritual at length. While I play a Tabris who romances Alistair, Pi plays a Mahariel who romances Morrigan, so we have vastly different interpretations of the ritual itself and Morrigan's intentions.
Which yeah, it makes total sense that someone who romanced Morrigan with a different origin, and has the option to do the ritual with her rather than asking someone else to do it, wouldn't see this the way I do.
To quote Pi: "Playing as a male warden in the Morrigan romance makes the whole situation feel different, and maybe it’s because she’s presenting it differently due to the emotional connection, but it feels more like she’s opening up about her initial instructions (that she had been given by Flemeth) and offering a solution to avoid the possibility of death. And for my Mahariel, the constant threat of sudden death has haunted him from the start – he caught the blight and was ripped away from his clan (something he did not want to do in the slightest), got forced into a Grey Warden ritual that could kill him, was forced into a battle that could kill him, going on this whole quest that he never wanted but has now become responsible for regardless of his thoughts on the matter… the dark ritual may be one of the few moments where he is presented with an option to decide if he wants to walk into certain death, or take actions of his own volition to stop it.
"The idea of the ritual still feels like a dodgy thing to do since the ultimate outcome is unknown at that point, he’s taking Morrigan at her word that it will save the warden and that this child would be unharmed, just with an old god soul that she isn’t exactly clear on why she wants that and is determined to runaway immediately after the battle to secure it properly. It could be interpreted that it’s purely a preservation thing, but I’m biased to wanting Morrigan's intentions to not be power based.
"But also, taking part in the ritual isn’t as outlandish for my warden since he and Morrigan have already been involved in an intimate relationship. It’s the future of the ritual that is scarier – the idea of this old-god baby, and the idea of Morrigan insisting that she’s leaving afterwards when Mahariel and her have a loving relationship. He’s hurting, but he doesn’t want to die, he doesn’t want Alistair to die, he doesn’t want Morrigan to leave, he definitely doesn’t want pregnant Morrigan to leave on her own… it’s complicated, but for completely different reasons."
And I find that fascinating. I want to know how other players approach this part of DAO, what origins they play, and who they romanced. Seriously, this is an invitation to anyone reading to share their thoughts.
What about a warden who doesn't even have Alistair in their party because they made Loghain a warden? Is there anyone out there who has Loghain do the ritual with Morrigan and why? What about male wardens who don't romance her? Do you choose to do it with her anyway, or do you ask Alistair or Loghain to do it? Do you tell Morrigan to fuck off with the ritual? Why? Who makes the ultimate sacrifice in that case? And what about Morrigan herself? How do you interpret her intentions/motivations? I want to know.
I'm telling you, this is a discussion that gets me excited, as most discussions about DAO do.
#dao#dragon age origins#alistair theirin#dao alistair#dao morrigan#da morrigan#tw: sa mention#long post#i love origins so much#every time i replay i end up on discord having this discussion with pi because it makes me *emotional*#and yes this is why i was looking up alistair's dialogue about a dead warden before#also want to clear up that while i am harsh on morrigan based on how my tabris feels i don't hate her or anything i love her#morrigan's one of my favorite characters and that's why the whole thing hurts like... tabris was happy for her to come along with them#since she still didn't know alistair well and felt more comfortable with another woman around even though she never felt threatened by him#and for them both to be her closest companions like.... it's a lot to take in#and its not like tabris is totally in the right here- she doesn't tell alistair it's an option when it could be argued that she should've#but like i said i've never actually turned down the ritual because i love my warden too much... i just close my eyes#and pretend there's an alternate solution where Alistair and Tabris do the ritual and they have the old god baby instead sksksks#that way no one has to sleep with someone they hate and alistair gets to be there to raise his child. it's fine everything's fine sksksk#i don't care if it doesn't work that way okay it's the only way this works out better for everyone... except maybe morrigan but still
41 notes
·
View notes
Text
Lil rant (MAYBE PJATO SHOW SPOILERS?)
Lots of opinions up ahead so uh, look out.
I’m watching the PJATO show and I really love some parts. The casting—they’re all wonderful (literally everyone, Mr D is hilarious) and any fears I had have been quelled because they’re all amazing and the trio fit their characters well (even IRL and they’re so precious). Camp Half Blood — so well done. The cabins are huge, the colosseum is just what I imagined, and they really did great on making it properly large and vibrant. I love it. Some of the extra beats they’ve added to make it better expanded beyond the strictly Percy POV in the book have been good. Annabeth and Grover chucking Percy into a fountain to try to heal him was hilarious and totally in character—probably my favorite part so far. Also: AHHHH SEAWEED BRAIN!
But is anyone just feeling… like the pacing is super slow? Like I get that us “zoomers” have tiny attention spans and stuff but “The Horse and His Boy” was my favorite Narnia book and I read LOTR when I was 11 so I don’t think my attention span is quite so bad. These kids got ADHD and it feels like every talk and every scene just drags. Every time I think the energy is gonna rise, it gets smacked back down by lackluster scene climaxes. Again, I’m not trying to say we need more explosions or booms or arguments, just that I]it isn’t even remotely eliciting the same kind of goose-pimple/heart thumping moments I remember from the books. I reread them constantly and it’s always thrilling.
And the music… someone I was watching it with said it sounded like generic Marvel music, and they’re kinda right. I can’t remember a single note from the score at all, and I’m always listening to movie/TV scores because they’re like listening to the story in music format! PJATO’s score though? Can’t even remember it. I can’t remember any of it even being used in certain places. I thought they’d try to get older instrumentals to make it unique, like lyre AND electric guitar in the mix, but honestly I can’t even remember what it sounds like. That’s bad, right?
[[EDIT: I just looked up the score on Spotify and it was literally made by the people who did the “God of War” game score. There’s no freakin way this music is bad. I’m gonna listen to it alone later. Maybe it’s just set really low in the mix… ]]
The “death” of Sally Jackson was so lackluster. Just a standard medium long shot, can’t even remember if the music flourished or dropped or anything. Their acting was great, but it was framed so poorly that it just felt… idk…
The pacing feels like it’s something I would do as an amateur who doesn’t yet understand how to edit on my first few write-up’s of a script. I’m not trying to be mean or unfair because I REALLY wanna love this show and I genuinely love a lot of stuff about it and I can tell that so many people are working so hard on it, but holy moly I feel my brain begging for someone to do something impertinent and just slap the show into a roll whenever I’m watching it.
There’s another issue I have with the timing of the most recent episode but I don’t wanna go much further.
Again, this is all opinion and not meant to say anyone shouldn’t like the show or that the people in it are stupid because they aren’t at all and people should like it! I’m just saying that as someone that really appreciated the pacing of the books (that was quick but never sacrificed the storytelling and slowed down when it needed to), I am really feeling that this show isnt shaping up like that. Additional note: I’m not even saying that the pacing of the show needs to BE the pacing of the books. I’m just saying that the pacing of the books is one of the things that made it so good and I really haven’t read many things with pacing of that quality.
Aaaanyway feel free to disagree with me or roast me alive. I just haven’t seen anyone talking about it and I wanted to rant a little and see what other people thought. I’m still gonna keep watching because I think if they can fix the pacing, imma really freaking enjoy this and in case they do, I don’t wanna miss it. And because I’d rather have more PJATO show than less!
#Rusty rants#pjato spoilers#pjato show#percy jackon and the olympians#mild spoilers#critique#please don’t hate me#Mr Riordan I’m sure everyone is trying their best#but this pacing is seriously gonna be the death of me#if I was 10 I would get bored and turn it off#I’m powering through because I love pjato and I wanna support this cast and the team’s hard work#long post#pjato
20 notes
·
View notes
Text
Mmm 🤔 I genuinely think another big reason that trans men and transmascs are holding onto the idea of ‘transandrophobia’ is because a good portion of them, including myself, grew up on this website where the early days of the trans community pretty much coddled and served us, all the time. And then, when many of us actually started to transition (be it socially and/or physically), it was a wake up call that reminded many of us that being read as a man by society means that your are going to be treated differently than how you were previously.
Like, this whole situation is just a giant example of ‘social amnesia’ because anyone who was on tumblr in the early days knows exactly what I’m talking about. There were hundreds upon hundreds of posts made specifically for afab trans/nonbinary people. There was constant encouragement for trans men to express themselves however they wanted to, especially if they presented in a stereotypically feminine way. There were whole ‘passing’ guides made predominantly for trans men and transmasculine people and rarely anything for trans women and transfems.
So to me, this whole ‘transandrophobia’ thing reads like a giant temper tantrum being thrown by grown ass people who cannot fathom that they are no longer those ‘uwu little soft boys’ from the early tumblr days of their own youth and that they actually have to be accountable for their behavior towards other people now that they are being read as adults/adult men. Particularly, towards women (trans women are obviously included when I say this but I’m just putting this here so there is no confusion).
Like, seeing some of them say such out of pocket stuff like ‘uwu I lost the privilege of having women as friends and being able to see myself as a victim and it feels so isolating being a man uwu’ just tells me how little they actually understand the ways in which systems of power and oppression work AND that they’re making their personal relationships with women out to be completely one-sided while suspiciously not ever considering their own behavior towards those women 🤔.
It’s never as simple as ‘women have it easy because they can become friends with each other and can see themselves as victims because of female socialization (which is literally a TERF term that blatantly supports bioessentialism…why are y’all using it???)’ Did y’all seriously forget that racism still exists for women of color? Did y’all seriously forget that many minority men will still have access to conditional privileges, as long as they can demonstrate ‘manhood’ in an acceptable way (which many of them do, so it ends up leading to serious misogyny in their own communities)?
And it’s really irking me to see not just some black trans men and transmascs feeding into this racist, MRA shit but to also see non black trans men/transmascs using issues specifically pertaining to anti-blackness (ex ‘masculine black people are seen as aggressive so therefore, it’s androphobia uwu’) to try to support their flimsy arguments and it’s genuinely infuriating. Even more specifically, it is white trans men and transmascs doing this while (ironically) denying transmasc poc their identities when we speak up against them. You are taking the context of anti-blackness away from those specific issues and trying to re-contextualize it to conveniently fit your ideas and it is incredibly harmful.
Victimhood has never been a ‘privilege’ for any women, except for cis white women (and even then, there can be limitations), so the fact that so many of these transandrophobia truthers see ‘womanhood’ as synonymous with ‘victimhood’ just tells me that they do not have enough nuance or even respect for what any women, especially women of color, have been through. Ask any woman outside of the US or Canada or the UK about their experiences existing as women. Hell, ask any woman here in the US how they’re feeling considering the insane amount of anti-trans AND anti-abortion laws that have been cropping up. Cis women, trans women, transfems, and afab nonbinary folks are all witnessing the same injustices of bodily autonomy as trans men and transmascs, yet this realization isn’t really hitting home to them.
They’re basing this entire ‘movement’ off of personal experiences where they are treated like the men they are, told to take some level of accountability for their behavior (which their tumblr addled brains aren’t used to), and then claiming that there’s some sinister ‘attack’ on masculinity when it’s far more complex than that. Femininity is in no way ‘rewarded’ as much as y’all claim it is, even in queer spaces.
Both femininity and masculinity can be rewarded and punished, in various ways, that are not going to be easy to understand at first glance. There are people who, when performing either of these things in the ‘acceptable’ way to a cisheteronormative society, will be rewarded the conditional privileges and acceptance that comes with it. And there are some people who will be punished for either not sticking to either of these or switching between them or mashing them together. However, there are many outside factors like race, sexuality, and culture that can also heavily influence who is more likely to be punished for these displays of rebellion than others.
I’m not sure how to end this but I do want to propose a question that more folks, regardless of gender, should start asking themselves before they start speaking on important social issues: is it really about you wanting to help the community or is it about you wanting to be noticed?
Because I’m gonna tell y’all this now…there is a world of difference between the two and you can’t have both, as much as tumblr will try to convince you that you can. If it’s just about you, then it can’t be about the community and if it’s about the community, then it can’t just be about you.
NOTE: if you’re not going to be nuanced or relatively understanding of the power dynamics I’m referring to in this post, don’t interact. I’m not about to argue with anyone.
#long post#i’m just stating my own opinion here so don’t think i’m not considering nuance either#if you want to have a constructive conversation about this topic I’m all for it but the moment you try to bring in some MRA ‘woe is me’ crap#i’m gonna call it like it is and end the conversation because the whole idea of ‘hating men’ is more of an online phenomena than it is irl#y’all just don’t go outside and stay online far too often and allow those opinions to fester in your mind until you’ve made up a strawman#of a group of ‘evil women’ who are hellbent on eradicating men when that’s like…a very small portion of women who are TERFs and we don’t#take any of their bullshit seriously especially when the same ideology they spew that may hurt men…comes back to hurt everyone#trans issues#lgbt#trans#if you’re not going to be nuanced about your response then don’t bother interacting#if you clown on this post i’m blocking you with no damn regrets#pbscore#feminism#intersectional feminism#transmasc#transfem#racism#antiblackness#transgender#trans men#transandrophobia#transmisandry
605 notes
·
View notes
Text
It honestly baffles me how people are dunking on Sada and Turo for being shitty parents much more than I saw when Sun and Moon first came and Lusamine was first revealed to be the villain like huh 😭 where was that energy before??? Because I feel there’s more nuance with Sada and Turo’s characters and their motivations than there were with Lusamine’s (I’m talking about her in the games of course, not the anime. I will also leave discussion for what happens in Ultra Sun and Moon for another post, so I’m only talking about the plot of the original Sun and Moon here). I’m honestly just tired of all the bashing on the Professors and them being watered down to “typical shitty parent in Pokemon” when the game clearly states and implies the exact opposite.
Lusamine is very much shown to have abandoned her kids, openly berating them and saying she has no children right in front of her daughter’s face because they “abandoned her love” and going forth with her plan to open the wormholes and summon the ultra beasts with no consideration for anything else. She doesn’t have the headspace to care about her children anymore in her plan, in huge contrast to Sada/Turo’s plan where despite how extreme it was, was at the core still centered around their son and their family. I think chalking it down to just “well they’re still both bad parents anyway” takes away some of the complexity surrounding their characters in the first place. Also I’m only bringing Lusamine as a comparison mostly because Ghetsis and Giovanni do not have any other depth to their characters in the core games lmao, and I feel Lusamine is a great example of a parent who used to care but had lost that love after her husband’s “death” and along the way of achieving her goal, while Sada and Turo are examples of the complete opposite: parents who still held onto that love and care throughout their goal, but took it so far that they hurt the one person it was for the most out of everything. It really feels like people are portraying the professors’ flaws in the completely wrong way. The problem was never “they never loved their son at all and intentionally abandoned him” it was “they became so invested and deluded in their plan they ended up neglecting the treasure it was supposed to be for.” which is exactly what distinguishes them from all the other parent antagonists we’ve seen so far. There’s a certain tragedy present in seeing a broken family that used to be so happy together that I feel was also in Sun and Moon’s story, but was muddled due to the story focusing on other aspects.
And I’m going to address this right now because I know people are going to say something because they lack reading comprehension: I am not excusing Sada and Turo’s actions in the game and how their neglect had affected Arven. Explanations are not Excuses. You can acknowledge that they loved their son while still hurting him in the end, both ideas can coexist. I merely just want to analyze wtf even happened here for the professor to go down this path. And it’s also worth nothing that we don’t have much answers in the game itself as of right now, since well—the original is dead and we’re dealing with an AI version of them for the entirety of the game. Most of this is coming from the original’s journals in the lab, but I think the game makes a clear distinction that they still loved Arven even after everything. Despite their delusion taking over them, I think they genuinely believed what they were doing was the best for them and their family despite otherwise. The whole point at the end was to highlight how they didn’t need to create that paradise. They had that loving family already, and it was too late for them to realize that Arven only needed them and nothing else.
I don’t know if it’s just me, but I want the DLC to address Arven’s other parent and what exactly happened to them (or better yet, meet them in the story which would honestly be an interesting parallel where the professor of the opposite version is the one you get to know more than the original in game one). I know the in game Professor’s journal entry says they “walked out” but what does that even mean in hindsight? Keep in mind this is from the point of view of someone who’s continuously being deluded into their own idea of paradise, who most likely felt grief after their partner left them that they built an entire AI of themselves to help complete the project.
And yet they still say they’re going to build a paradise for “the three of them.” Does that mean the in game professor was also trying in some way to bring the other parent back? What if it was an accident? What if they were sent through the time machine and couldn’t go back, and the in game professor was so distraught their delusion out of sheer desperation made it so they processed it as “(s)he walked out on me, and now I’m all alone.” Of course this all a lot of speculation, but it just doesn’t make sense to me how Arven’s other parent would “leave” like that. Maybe I’m being an optimist about it, but it really does feel like it was unwillingly in some way, where the in game professor’s increasing delusion was the reason why they “left” so to speak.
And that’s not even addressing the 3rd legendary of the game and its role in all of this is. I wouldn’t be surprised if it was meant to parallel the snake/the devil in Genesis, as the sin of temptation since the professor and Area Zero have a lot of similarities with the Garden of Eden and this idea of “paradise” for their family. Where the 3rd legendary gave them the opportunity to create their paradise by giving them access to the paradox pokemon and terastalizing, and thus influenced them so much, it eventually led them down to a path of their own destruction consumed by the delusion that they could create a paradise for their family, but failed to recognize they ended up hurting the one person they treasured most in the end. If the other professor did indeed return in the DLC, maybe it would give the chance to separate themselves from their spouse and make things right with both the region and Arven. Having them be the antithesis to the other Professor’s motivation and making the choice to stay with Arven in the present would be a really cool way to wrap up the story ngl.
Anyways people who portray them as apathetic and uncaring to Arven in fan art and fics I wish you a very “play the fucking game again please”. Even their character design sheets say otherwise, especially with Sada like I cannot imagine the woman described as “not being able to hide her emotions well” would be a cold and uncaring mother like come on 💀 I played Violet for crying out loud and I’m still able to recognize that.
#and also like idk everyone seems to have shitty parents in this game?? with the exception of the mc and their mom#if we're going by what Nemona and Penny say in the area zero dialogue#I think people are just solely focusing on Arven and his parents because they tie so much into the main story#that and I think a lot of people were not expecting the twist with the professors being the real “antagonists” of the story#the professors are very interesting characters to me and it’s surprising how I haven’t seen them be analyzed as much as other characters#where they’re immediately labeled as “abusive parents with no depth” like the other parent characters in past games#when imo they share much more nuance and character than the others had before#I feel like I’m still going to get hate from this somehow 😭#I can say one thing though and it’s that the disc pokemon is very suspicious#that legendary played a role in something that’s for sure#pokemon scarlet and violet spoilers#pokemon#pokemon scarlet and violet#professor turo#professor sada#arven pokemon#lusamine pokemon#my posts#long post
139 notes
·
View notes
Text
i don't believe in the fandom concept of problematic faves
(all characters should have at least one Problem, i think, for flavor)
but if i did, fiona pitch would have a permanent throne at the very top of my list. i just think she's neato-cheetos.
#on a scale from one to belittling a teenager who was just subjected to weeks of solitary confinement starvation torture#i think that fiona is a 10.5 and should consider prozac#rainbow has a way with multifaceted characters who do things because it's the only thing they know how to do#good things for bad reasons and bad things for good reasons and selfless things for spiteful reasons and vise versa etc#everyone is at least a bit of an asshole about something. even goodboy milk chap boyscout simon killed a bunch of vampires on sight#they were probably up to something shady but the likelihood that they were gonna kill those girls in broad daylight at a crowded renfaire?#probably pretty low. too late to un-kill 'em though. like. those were People. vampires are People. goblins too.#imagine you're a goblin looking to make some serious changes in your society and the only thing you have to do to achieve those goals?#is kill a fifth grader that already hates you and your entire species on principle and would definitely kill you first given the chance#some of those goblins were probably pretty power hungry assholes but i imagine if they have a monarchy they also have tax laws and shit#i couldn't kill a fascist cub-scout for free healthcare but i'm also very anti-murder in general and goblins seem quite pro#i am definitely thinking way too far into this but that's also my One SkillTM#the incredibly similar way that simon and fiona view 'dark' magickal creatures (and what it means about the entire WoM) is an essay itself#its also a LONG essay and i'm too much of a weenie to post in-depth fandom opinions more controversial than 'big teeth Hot'#so the gist of it is 'I JUST THINK THEY'RE ALL NEAT I LIKED THE BOOK A LOT'#del/lat
20 notes
·
View notes
Note
Ok hi!!!! I love all your takes on the characters and it's rlly interesting! I also think moash is a very nuanced and fascinating character. I'm kinda mad at him after he tried to convince Kal to k!ll himself but I think he's a great charcter with lots of depth and your pinned post was so interesting because it said so much about moash! Anyway sorry bye!!!
Hello!!! Thank you!! I apologize for inflicting that post on you, but I'm glad you read/enjoyed it! ty for letting me know <3<3<3
#i pinned it kinda as a joke but also bc i'd keep getting sent moash hate from new followers#and while there are many places in this fandom that are receptive to that. i am not really one of them.#man remember when i read ob in 2017 and liked it and so came onto the internet to draw characters from it w/ no knowledge of this fandom#i wasn't a moash-poster back then (all szeth all the time baby) but i was shocked by how everyone talked about one of my fav characters#these days there are plenty of people here who like him but back then i felt like i had to claw out a space for myself to discuss him#largely just felt that the kind of hate he got was counterproductive to any deeper discussions or critiques of the narrative#of course in present that essay mostly serves as a barrier to entry for new people following my blog#because the real question of course is how you guys keep finding me#it's sort of a ''come for the silly drawing you saw somewhere‚ stay for the erratic and long-winded discourse'' kind of vibe#anyway. always nice and flattering to meet new people. sorry i don't post much here anymore.#i make up for it how much i ramble in the tags tho
14 notes
·
View notes
Text
the thing about jackie is that i LIKE that she's dead
#as horrible a thing as that is to say about my favorite character. but it's what makes her so good!#her story is a tragedy not because it was always meant to be one but because they (shauna & the rest of the yelliwjackets) made it one!#she could've lived if only even just one of them had shown her a shred of kindness that night.#would she have made it long enough to be one of the remaining survivors? probably not but we'll never know for sure!#it's about the wasted potential. it's about the fact she died thinking the only people she had left all hated her.#thinking her best friend (THE LOVE OF HER LIFE) hated her. ultimately freezing to death in your sleep is not the worst way to go#especially compared to the various awful ways a lot of the other characters have suffered before death.#no what makes jackie's death particularly horrific is the WHY behind it.#she died not in a heroic effort to try to save everyone. not in an accident. not for sustenance.#she died frozen and alone and for no good reason at all.#jackie taylor#yellowjackets#yj posting#📺 tag#send tweet
23 notes
·
View notes
Note
I just want to say, that I agree with almost all of your Critical Role takes and you have 1000% better and more nuanced takes than all of Twitter and I greatly appreciate it! The takes over there regarding Liliana and the gods are just wild and you bring some much needed sanity to the content I see
Thanks! I hope you don't mind because I've been thinking about this re: the Twitter takes but the thing about Twitter and Liliana specifically that I've seen is that there's this really bizarre fetishization of like, the fact that she is a (white) southerner (this also weirdly happened for Birdie though to a much lesser extent, and the person who spearheaded that wasn't even American so I have to assume this is a specific corner of Twitter Culture At Large). And like, here's the thing. It's true that fantasy tends to be very British in its accents, and it's also true that accents in a fantasy world are used to convey the same things we'd assume in our world - RP British for educated, southern American for rural, Cockney for rougher types, etc.
It's also true that laying the exact socioeconomic parallels from our world onto, say, Liliana and Orym (who reads to me as non-regional but I, like Liam, am from the Northeast originally) is a recipe for disaster. Or rather, it's not, but it is going to reaffirm your own biases, some of which are dangerous to reaffirm.
There was a popular post on Tumblr a while back, probably not long after Trump was elected, of someone talking about how they were convincing a relative with the confederate flag towards socialism by appealing to the idea of "isn't in unfair how uneven wealth distribution is and how a small group has so much control" and a number of people were rightfully like "uh, maybe you should focus on the racism" or "hey OP ask your relative who they think that small group in control is because I'm getting a really bad feeling they're going to say it's The Jews." And I feel that a lot of the empathy for Liliana from those spaces feels like that OP. Or in other words: I get that you see your relatives in Liliana. Unfortunately, I cannot help but see me and mine in Orym.
You see someone trapped by circumstance and desperation in a dangerous ideology. I see the fact that I haven't gone to a synagogue in easily 6-7 years without there being a security guard present and usually, the doors locked with someone looking through the window to let you in, and then in the sanctuary there's been an installation so that you can quickly bar all the doors in case an alarm goes off or you hear shots in the lobby.
I think there's a great case for seeing yourself in Imogen, who is in a painful struggle with the fact that her mother does love her very much but is in dangerously deep and has done a number of incredibly terrible and harmful things. That latter point is important, incidentally; I get that cult members sometimes rise through the ranks but all but the leader are being manipulated. But the fact remains that a brainwashed person can still commit atrocities, and in this story, they have, many times over. It's especially true because like...sure, plenty of people are like "I lost my relative to a cult and I just want them back and I couldn't harm them," but also, as we've seen, this cult can and will harm Imogen! Plenty of people are also like "yeah I gotta cut them off, it hurts but unfortunately my horribly bigoted and violent relative, while a victim of brainwashing, is a threat to me too." It's not even the full picture of the Temult side of things, let alone the picture that includes the Vanguard's victims.
I also think the Southern gatekeeping is unhinged because it's like. guys there's QAnon members and other cults across the country; the Confederate flag example above was actually notable in that OP wasn't even Southern so you couldn't even write the flag off as deeply misguided heritage but rather was explicitly being used as a hate symbol. It's awfully presumptive to assume all southerners have the same experience (especially since the Temults are portrayed, physically and in accents, as white southerners, not that the experiences of white southerners aren't also incredibly varied). It's awfully presumptive to assume that people find Liliana threatening because they have no personal experience with people like her; often, it's because they have all too real experience with people like her, and it says something even worse about you if you can say "but you guys, I see me and my family in Liliana" when people are telling you that they see them and their families in Orym. I would not, personally, publicly admit that one's empathy extends to the people who remind you of your family but runs out before it reaches their victims. Nor would I publicly admit that I assume everyone who disagrees with me clearly has never had personal experience with this topic.
I should also note that, as I've noted a number of times before, that these are fictional characters and not real people. Twitter seems to be really fucking bad at grasping that. Like, yes, this is the other thing; I do not think that OP should kill their Confederate flag-toting relative, whereas if Imogen did so to Liliana I'd be like "hell yeah." The former is a real person who I do hope gets deprogrammed, just, you know, maybe adjust those priorities; the latter is a fictional character in a story.
#answered#anonymous#if steel had a southern accent do you think people would feel differently about her? sound off in the comments i guess.#cr spoilers#it really is like. with the people who can't separate characters from real people...there's this assumption#that everyone who doesn't agree with them lacks the same experiences or is bigoted#don't like liliana? well it's because you're not southern. don't like laudna? it's because you're neurotypical and straight and hate women.#notice how none of these carry within them any argument within the text? notice how they just rely on the assumption#that you can only understand things through direct personal experience and not like...thought and empathy?#that if you fit certain demographics you obviously Will hold these exact opinions bc clearly all nd people or wlw are a monolith?#it's like. yeah man i see why you have more sympathy for the vanguard than their victims...you think like a cultist even if you're not one#you say There's Those Who Understand And Have The Mandate of Heaven Because We're (southern or nd or queer or whatever)#and then there's Them The Ones Who Don't Get It And Never Will Bc They're Not Like Us (even though plenty of times...they are)#anyway. as always i am sorry that twitter sucking hurts the careers of countless creatives#but i think it does foster this sort of no-nuance no-argument Me First thinking so. can't be too sorry.#long post
40 notes
·
View notes
Note
Whenever I see someone being transphobic on twt in a bridget thread i reply with three pictures of my mains: ky kiske from ac+r, ky kiske from rev 2, and ky kiske from strive.
it self selects for people who actually play the game. it’s canon that he’ll fight off transphobes with the blade. and if they actually played guilty gear they’d get the underlining messages
While it can be really funny to bully these guys back, please keep in mind that nothing you can say or do to these people will hurt them or waste as much of their time as what they say will stick with you or waste your time. It might be funny to send them a bunch of Ky pictures, but what they're doing is laughing that the only response the people they hate can give them is sending a bunch of pictures of anime boys.
The only thing that works is blocking them. They've turned being an asshole into a recreational sport and getting any sort of response in return is a victory for them.
#asks#Unfortunately I was an asshole on the internet once (not a vicious transphobe just a basic internet asshole)#I know exactly how these people function because I was there once...#When you don't take the person you're arguing with seriously it's very easy to laugh at every single thing they do#Which is what these guys are doing. It doesn't matter how well thought out the counter argument is. They don't care and they won't care#All you can hope for is that they're young and they grow out of it (I did)#I feel bad for them because I think about what led to me being like that decades ago. Are they going through the same thing?#I was like that because I was in a hopeless situation and hated myself and hated everyone else#People arguing back just proved my point that everything sucked and my hate was justified#It's an awful feedback loop. People being kind to me felt disingenuous. Why should they be kind? I hated them. They had no reason to be nic#I had to get to a point where I was willing to help myself crawl out of that pit before I let anyone else even get near me emotionally#I still remember the day when I realized I was being a fucked up little shit to everyone lol#Early June 2011. It was sunny with no clouds and there was a cool breeze. I was listening to In This Moment and I realized#'What the hell am I doing? Do I want to be like this forever? Get your shit together man'#It was a slow process from there but I did get out of it. Slowly. Very slowly.#There's a lot I did that I regret and can't ever apologize for because it was so long ago and the names and faces are gone now#Apologizing at this point would be selfish and only for my benefit anyway. I can only hope that what I did didn't hurt people permanently#Anyway. I've never talked about this on here before because it's the kinda shit that gets put on callout posts out of context#So. I am laying my naked soul bare and raw for the sake of underlining my original point: Internet trolls don't care
25 notes
·
View notes
Text
I know complaining about Netflix is stupid but the fact that there are no subtitles for anime dubs is stupid. if you want to watch anime in English for whatever reason — you like the VA’s better, you don’t speak Japanese and don’t want to have to pay 100% attention all the time — but are hard of hearing or have audio processing issues, fuck you! suffer
#doesn’t super affect me because I don’t regularly watch anime but on the occasion that I DO#I wanna watch fma in English because Travis willingham :( but the subtitles never ever ever match the dialogue it’s bad#tried to switch one piece to English last night so I could participate in discord conversations without pausing it for long stretches#and ultimately went back because I don’t. I hate everyone’s English va I’m sorry dhsks#but the SUBTITLES#WHERE ARE THE DUB SUBTITLES#this has been a post
18 notes
·
View notes
Text
this is your reminder that if I don’t follow you on tumblr I still love you.
#I hate that tumblr did the freaking mutual thing because now everyone can see#dash curation is such a personal thing and it’s also a brain thing#If you are intellectually stimulating it’s better if I just check your blog now and then#(which doesn’t mean if I do follow you you are intellectually not stimulating)#it’s just. a delicate balance and vibe#and it’s one of those things where the more you say it and draw attention to it the more awkward it becomes#But also I’ve been wanting to make this post for a while!#idk. it’s something I’ve wrestled with for so long and then eventually I was just like. I need the vibe of the dash to be a certain way#just for my own sanity and that involves not following a lot of people tbh#anyway I just. Yeah. It’s a public space so the necessity of boundaries being established is normal and everyone’s gotta#but it’s also a community and I know how hurtful it can be to suddenly realize someone is not following you who once was#idk. I strongly encourage everyone to unfollow me#and check in when you want if you want lol#who would WANT these things on their dash#just all interspersed#No one cares Maria it’s not important etc.#but yeah it’s just very. when my depression works the graveyard shift all of the people#I’ve ghosted stand there in the room#like. It can FEEL like that
19 notes
·
View notes
Text
Fool Me Twice [4/?]
After more than a month, I'm back with this update which is... not extremely long, but I figured I would post it before I lose confidence :')
Part 4 ft. (the aftermaths of) fake dating, a cold, and an office conversation
You can read part 1 [here]! (No additional context is needed aside from the previous 3 parts.)
—
Work resumes on the 3rd. Yves thinks of all the ways he might thank Vincent for all the trouble—a late New Year’s gift? (But he doesn’t know what Vincent would like, except presumably useful things, but if they’re useful, shouldn’t Vincent have them already?) An invitation to dinner at some nice restaurant? (But what if Vincent sees it as another inconvenient proposition—as more time outside of work which he’ll be obligated to spend with someone he doesn’t even know that well?) A gift card to a nice restaurant? (But would that not come across wrong—presumptuous at best, condescending at worst?)
Normally, Yves would ask Margot—ever the voice of reason—for advice, but it occurs to him, now, that he won’t be able to consult any of his college friends about this if he intends to keep up the lie.
And there’s that, too. If he intends on going to any future events that Margot—or any of his other college friends, at that—will host, he’ll have to tell them that he and Vincent have broken up since (which will only serve to prove Erika’s point that Yves isn’t everything he’s made himself out to be—at least, when it comes to relationships), or think of some sort of way to excuse Vincent’s continued absences.
If one thing’s for sure, it’s that asking any more of Vincent than he’s already asked is entirely out of the question.
Yves drives himself to work on Tuesday morning, gets to his office earlier than most, says hi to Cara and Laurent, and gets to work. It’s easy enough to settle into work again, to a 10am meeting with the team and another couple calls with clients, to all the paperwork and data analysis he’d for himself before the winter holidays.
Vincent usually gets to work early—he’s always there when Yves gets to the office—and stays late. He’s usually at the break room at 10:15, unless he has a meeting of some sort, for his usual morning coffee. He works on the same floor, but his cubicle is far enough away that Yves can’t see him from where he sits.
Yves doesn’t look for him. Better to catch him in the morning in the break room or at lunch in the company cafeteria, Yves thinks, as to not risk interrupting him in the middle of something important.
But Vincent—despite showing up to a morning conference with the team—is surprisingly absent from the break room at 10:15. And then Yves ends up working with Cara on an upcoming presentation until 1, and when he gets to the cafeteria, Vincent isn’t there, either.
It’s unfortunate timing, or perhaps Vincent is just unusually busy. Yves knows he does a lot of work behind the scenes, from the few times he’s asked him what he was working on and gotten an intimidating list of projects in response. When he passes Vincent’s desk in the early afternoon—more precisely, when he decides to take the long way to the break room—he finds Vincent speaking with Angelie, one of the new hires, their heads ducked together over the harsh glow of Angelie’s laptop screen. He watches as Vincent gestures to something on the screen and says something too quiet to make out from this distance, and Angelie nods, jotting something down onto a notepad she’s holding.
How formal, Yves thinks. It isn’t long ago that he was in her shoes, new and intimidated by the formality of the workplace, asking Vincent for help and tabling everything he thought might be of note.
He doesn’t think much of it—only that of course Vincent is busy; Angelie is right to think that Vincent has the kind of expertise that will really be useful to her, and the patience to walk her through it with a level of thoroughness Yves is frequently impressed by, or else she’s just gotten very lucky.
The afternoon passes quickly enough. All of a sudden, it’s 5, which is around the time when Yves usually leaves, and he still hasn’t spoken a word to Vincent all day.
Against better judgment, he takes his briefcase with him, heads toward the sector of the building that Vincent works in. Tells himself it’s just on the way to the back door exit. Tells himself a short exchange wouldn’t hurt—would it really be so wrong to invite Vincent out to dinner, or at the very least, to offer him the thank you he so unquestionably deserves?
He half expects Vincent to be gone already, considering that he’s probably been here since 7:30. But when he gets there, Vincent is at his desk, as usual, cross-checking several documents he’s printed out.
“Hard at work, as always,” Yves says, stopping just short of his cubicle.
“Yves,” Vincent says, though he doesn’t offer any further note of acknowledgment. He looks tired, Yves realizes, from the slight tension to his posture, the way he blinks hard behind his glasses, his eyebrows furrowing slightly. But of course he’s tired—he’s been here for almost ten hours already.
Yves waits for him to finish what he’s doing—to look away from the monitor screen, even just for a moment—but he doesn’t.
“Are you planning to stay much later?” Yves asks, at last, though he gets the feeling that he should leave.
“Most likely,” Vincent says. “Is there something you need me to look over?”
“No,” Yves says. “But I was wondering—”
“I’m very busy today,” Vincent cuts him off, paging through one of the documents that’s laid out over his desk. “So if it’s not work related, now’s not a good time.”
It’s then that Yves realizes—Vincent must think he’s about to drag him into another one of his fake-relationship arrangements.
“I don’t need anything from you,” Yves says, faltering. “I’m just—it’s getting late, and you’ve been here all day.”
“Yes,” Vincent says. “Like I said, I’m very busy.” He pauses to highlight a line of numbers, scribble something into the margins. How he can concentrate on his work and the conversation simultaneously, Yves doesn’t know. “If you have work for me, feel free to leave it on my desk, I’ll get to it tonight. Otherwise, I’d appreciate it if we had this conversation later.”
“Noted,” Yves says. He tables the dinner conversation for later, sets his briefcase down on the floor so that it leans up against the wall. “Let me help.”
Vincent frowns, his eyebrows furrowing. “It would take longer for me to explain this to you.”
“You don’t need to explain anything,” Yves says. “I can look over the documents myself.” He takes a step closer, peers down at the papers strewn across Vincent’s desk—earnings reports and expense reports, mostly, and a couple marketing proposals.
Vincent reaches up to pinch the bridge of his nose. “That would require you to know the context.”
“I’ve dealt with a hundred of these in my life. I promise you I know what I’m doing.”
“Then you’ll have to spend more time telling me your findings,” Vincent says. “Better to not split up the work at all.”
“It would still be faster than going through them yourself.”
“Hardly.”
Perhaps Vincent doesn’t trust Yves to get things done to the standard that he expects, then. Yves thinks he’s worked here long enough to consider himself decently qualified, but they haven’t worked together closely on anything since Yves’s first couple months at Evertech, and so he doesn’t fault Vincent for being wary.
Still, Yves thinks he can be useful here. And maybe there is something selfish to it, too—to wanting to be as useful to Vincent as Vincent had been to him, to wanting to prove that he is capable of helping in the first place, of offering something of value—but even aside from that, he’s worried that if he doesn’t step in, Vincent might be here all night. It doesn’t seem like much of an impossibility, considering who he’s talking to.
“You’ve been here for hours,” Yves tries. “It’s only our first day back.” He looks around—perhaps there’s someone else here that could help, someone who’s worked here longer than Yves, who Vincent trusts. “You don’t have to let me help. But at least hand some of it off to someone you actually trust, or tell Charlene that she’s given you too much work this week, or both.”
“It’s no more work than usual,” Vincent says, with a sigh.
“And yet, you’re planning on staying late.”
Vincent looks up at him, at last, his expression unreadable. “I’m capable of doing my own job, Yves.” His voice is curt, almost snappish. “I really don’t have time to argue with you right now.”
Yves wants to say, of course I know that. Vincent is nothing if not qualified—Yves has never doubted that for a moment. He wants to say, I want to help you regardless.
But that would only be presumptuous. He doesn’t know Vincent that well. Besides, it’s really none of his business—they’re coworkers, not friends. Vincent knows what’s best for himself. The best thing Yves can do right now is to stay out of his way.
“Okay,” Yves says, a little defeated. “Good luck on your work. Make sure you get some sleep.”
There’s no response to that—no acknowledgement that Vincent has heard him at all, even though it’s quiet enough in the room that he must have. Yves turns to get his briefcase. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Vincent jerk forward suddenly, his shoulders tensing with a near-silent—
“HhH’Gkt-!”
Yves bites back a reflexive bless you. It’s just one sneeze. It doesn’t have to mean anything. But Vincent sniffles, pressing his knuckles up to the underside of his nose, to stifle another—
“HhH’NgkT-!”His breath hitches again, his eyebrows drawing together as he jerks forward again, with a quiet but painfully forceful, “Hh… hEH’NGXt!”, crushed into his fist.
He sniffles again, reaching across the desk to snag a tissue from the tissue box that, Yves realizes with a jolt, is usually not present on his desk. He sighs quietly—the sort of tired, drawn out exhale that leaves no question about how tired he is—and reaches up with a hand to gingerly massage his temples. The slight grimace that follows is almost certainly indicative of a headache.
Yves considers asking Vincent how he’s feeling for all of two seconds before he remembers the almost-hostility with which he was just faced. Perhaps it would be better if he pretends to not have heard. Briefcase in hand, he quickens his pace, ducks out of the exit, and heads down the stairs.
Vincent spent his New Year’s Eve with him, at a party surrounded by strangers—even though Vincent dislikes parties and probably dislikes strangers—he’d put up an immaculate act, played along even through Yves’s slight intoxication, and driven him home—and in turn, Yves has repaid him by...
God. Yves shouldn’t have asked to kiss him. The guilt settles heavy in his stomach.
Yves really, really owes him.
He heads down several flights of stairs and ducks outside to the parking garage. It’s even colder today than it had been on New Year’s—perhaps indicative of a colder winter to come—and though the parking garage is sealed off, when he’d looked out from the office windows upstairs, it had been starting to snow.
The cafeteria at their workplace is closed for dinner, and it’s a half hour drive home from here through rush hour traffic—maybe a little longer in the snow, and longer still if he stops to get something to eat.
He’s in the process of unlocking the car, setting his briefcase at his feet, and inserting the keys into the ignition when the idea occurs to him.
It’s an irrational idea, probably.
[Part 5]
#snz fic#sneeze fic#sneeze kink#snz kink#snz#part of the reason why this took so long was because i got caught up in the whirlwind of final exams/projects#(which are over now! possibly forever?)#but another part of it is that i hated my initial draft for this so much that i just shut the document and haven't opened it since#finally got around to rewriting it yesterday + stayed up til 5:30 hammering it into shape#i am posting this so that i cannot edit it anymore and have to move on#my fic#thank you to everyone who left kind comments on pt 3 🥹 reading them brings me so much happiness#yvverse
68 notes
·
View notes
Text
semi-heavy adhd vent tw 🫢🫢
personally of the opinion that the worst thing about adhd is the subtlety. we joke abt how obvious and silly it is but its barely visible 95% of the time.
& u spend your whole life not knowing if the mental struggle you have doing basic shit is what everyone deals with or if something's wrong. even when you KNOW you have adhd and even have it TREATED you STILL don't know if you're having a normal amount of obstacles.
i've been on meds for two years now and i just spent a whole fucking summer semester not sure if i was having adhd burnout or if my meds weren't working or if i was actually just being lazy. i think its all three, but who knows! and now i have a final tomorrow that i have to pass and i dont know if i can because i could barely fucking do any work all semester.
this happens like every year/semester but this one particularly stings cause it was supposed to be really good this time!! lots of free time, one class to worry about, the best nd-friendly note-taking system i've ever used, lots of flexibility, and friends to spend time with. it was even a science class!! chem, not bio, but better than non-science, right? but apparently, the only way i can ever stay motivated and on the ball is if im chained to a super-stressful and merciless schedule. so i have to choose between my long-term success and my mental health!!
i don't envy neurotypicals for the weird fucking ways they operate sometimes but good lord fucking jesus it sounds nice to be able to do things. i feel like a loaded gun with a busted trigger; i have all these amazing ideas and well-thought-out schedules and all the passion and desperation to follow through, but my brain and body just. won't. do it.
#vent#adhd#im really freaking out ngl but i will pull through because i HAVE to#i did the math and as long as i get like a 50 on this test i will almost definitely pass#but i'd at least like a -B#im just trying to find a way to be productive without destroying myself#cause i tried the insanely busy routine in the spring semester of my senior year of highschool and it worked!!#but i was sickly and exhausted and losing weight and everyone but me noticed#i kinda promised my friends not to do that to myself again#god i hate having adhd sometimes FUCK#i keep telling myself im only 18 and i'm still figuring out my adhd and unlearning the habits i learned growing up to survive#and that a lot of people do stupid shit and struggle in college even WITHOUT adhd#but omg how long is it going to take until i can rely on myself#im really scared im never gonna figure it out and i wont be able to do the things i wanna do#i just wanna sit in a lab all day and research cells or some shit man!! put me in a room full of bugs or worms or something!! jesus!!#this isn't the fun witty adhd stuff i like posting about but hey at least my brethren out there will be able to relate :)#adhd student#adhd struggles#adhd mood#adhd problems#neurodivergent#neurodivergent student#college#stem student#buggie's nerd stuff
44 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
wefoundwarblerland
You and I got lost in it
tbzhours
horizon *ﾟ+
mattvairo
Everything Mat Vairo;
cerosin-bis
posting live from the mw19 allegiance headquarters