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nikethestatue · 3 months

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I find it funny that those other shippers are saying we're dead because of that BC 😆 like huh?

I'm sorry, but I read that BC and never felt like it doomed our ship?

Azriel and Elain aren't shown to be a couple? Of course not, the elriel book is coming, why would they already be together before their book?

Azriel and his shadows hummed/reacted to music? Yeeeaaahhh...? What does that prove other than music in general makes his shadows react? Looks to me like their special girl wasn't special after all 🤨 not to mention that both Stone Mother and the Glass Coffin have a woman freeing herself from someone they don't love and getting with someone of their choice.

Az said he didn't have a mate, so that means elriel is dead? HUH? How did they get that conclusion? Yes, because OBVIOUSLY a really big couple is going to get together OFFSCREEN and mentioned in a BC? Do these people have any thinking skills whatsoever? NOTHING about that BC denied elriel, AT ALL. Not to mention the suspicious way Azriel was acting when referring to mates 🤔😏

Anyways, these shippers just don't seem to understand that the biggest and important elriel developments will happen in A BOOK OF THEIR OWN, and NOT in someone else's or in a BC of another story.

Either way, our ship is still alive and well 😁 the only reason why some elriels are frustrated is because the other shippers are ONCE AGAIN misinterpreting the text of the BC and passing it off as canon 😮‍💨 the only thing that will give them is disappointment when they realize they were wrong all this time 🤭

They think that EVERY bonus kills Elriel.

They legit think that SJM sits down to write bonus chapters (regardless for which series) with intentions of killing Elriel?

Also, I was under the impression that she already KiLLED ELRIEL with Azriel's Bonus and that he was mated to Gwyn and feeling chest glows because of the bond?

(This is from the first chapter of HOFAS. I guess Bryce and Amren are mates! Because you know...)

And it wouldn't be weird at all, if Azriel was like 'Yeah, I have a mate!!!' to Bryce all of a sudden, in a BONUS.

All we've learned in the bonus is that his shadows react to music. And that he is a shadowSINGER, which obviously somehow connects these mysterious powers that he has to music? SJM clearly has had this idea for over a decade, since he was introduced as a shadowsinger back in ACOMAF. And I am sure it's connected to some deeper magic that we know little about at this point. (I personally think it's Valg related, but that's just me)

But anyway. If it gives them peace and if they are so sure that multiple bonuses have killed Elriel, then they need to sleep easy and not obsess over it.

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monkiebois · 1 year

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Stupid headcanon time!

Baby MK bit a fuckton of people. Pigsy and Tang both have scars. Baby MK did not care. Adult MK is very embarrassed.

(IM SO SORRY ANON I STUFFED THIS IN MY DRAFTS AND FORGOT ABOUT IT AAAA)

OH FUCK YEEEAAAHHH.

LITTKE FUCKING GREMLIN IS WHAT SHE IS.

FUCKING HELL IM PUTTING THAT IN ALL MY AUS ANON I LOVE THIS.

a woven song xiaohua fkn. Biting macaque. She already bites his ears but then they end up just biting his fingers. His arms his cheeks whenever he holds them. Then when tang and pigsy are in the picture they bite them too.

Adult aws xiaotian just. Embarrassed as fuck whenever they bring it up. its adorable.

consequences Mk still bites people bc mei does it too so its normalized love bites in the family.

NOM. hehe

#ask #anon ask #consequencesau💫#tangled star #mk #qi xiaotian #mei #long xiaojiao

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pech-es · 1 year

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https://twitter.com/theashleyray/status/1645659128805867520?s=46

louder !! they expect ted lasso to keep up their lights on even tho they have other -good- projects that they don't care to promote

yeeeaaahhh it seems like apple doesn’t promote its stuff very well. i’m hoping tomvoodoo will provide bc as the man himself says, he’s good at selling shit 😤

#ask

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tommystonsils · 2 years

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tagged by @westerberg thank u so much!!! 💜💕💖💞💗

1. relationship status: single :(

2. favourite colour: oooh lots!! lavender, forest green, bubblegum pink, and seafoam to name a few!

3. favourite food: I also don’t have a straight answer to this bc i Love Food. Pierogi are a big one, but so is kimchi ramen. Also a rly good hamburger is the way 2 my heart. Oh and I’m a fan of figs. Figs w goat cheese, roasted, w herbs, in jam, YEEEAAAHHH

4. last thing i googled: literally the word seafoam bc “seafoam green”, seafoam is one word and not two……

5. dream trip: listen man i have been trying to plan a trip to minneapolis for like three years now and all sorts of shit always came up and i had to make a whole new plan every time. i love the midwest with my whole heart, if someone asked me “hey we could either go to chicago or italy” bon voy-a-gee i’m taking chicago every time. also i’m supposed to be going to mpls next summer so FINGERS CROSSED. also a huge ireland/scotland/wales trip would be so fun.

6. time: 7:52

7. last book you read: oooh it’s a boring book for school BUT i am currently reading The Hobbit and it’s rapidly becoming one of my favorites ever.

8. last book you enjoyed reading: Lemon Jail by Bill Sullivan. it’s about an hour and a half read, super short, probably some of the funniest Replacements anecdotes and it also gave me an even bigger appreciation for what Bill went on to do after being the mats’ right hand man. I’ve also read this like 5+ times now.

9. last book you hated reading: my case studies textbook for applied learning theory because my professor wrote the book and the structure of the case studies are extremely bloated and the dialogue is comically bad. anyway

10. favourite craft to do: paint + also i have a bedazzler……..

11. most niche dislike: when “new vinyl” comes out and you buy this overpriced reissued record and put it on your record player and it rains rice krispies on your stereo w all them snap crackle pops. stop trying to make new records sound old!!! i have literally had new records skip parts of songs bc the grooves were pressed incorrectly!! i’m not a fan of newer reissued records bc they all have that “we’re trying to make this sound old and beat up for your vintage vibes” thing

12. opinion on circuses now and in history: do not like them. many of them were once human zoos, the whole “freak show” with traveling circuses still happens at state fairs and it’s just rly gross and ableist. not to mention animal abuse which was literally the reason my family Never went to the circus. although i completely agree w @westerberg on ur comment about Paul bc yes!! i rly appreciate stagecraft and the art of show business.

13. do you have a sense of direction and if not what’s the worst way you ever got lost: sense of direction is REALLY BAD. i live on the east coast (floriduh) so I’ve tried the whole directional thing with looking at where the sun is but nope! worst way i’ve gotten lost was in middle school trying to find a class in a hallway that wrapped around, so I was speed-walking, panicking in a circle for a few minutes after the late bell.

tagging @kelly-jeanne @awesomgrlgr8job @nettys-girl !! c:

** i just realized i numbered this wrong LMAO im fixing it

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rainchyna · 1 year

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Okay I finally read it😭

28 7-STAR MATCHES? Y/N CARRYING THE WWF ON HER BACK ATP

The pig shit? Not again😭

BACK TF OFF HUNTER ILL KILL YOU🔪🔪 TF AWAY FROM ME YOU BLUEBLOODED BASTARD I WILL BITE YOUR FINGERS OFF 🔪🔪

Shawn's heartbroken bestie wdym what's wrong with him

ROAD TRIP‼️ We warned Shawn and now he's kinda scared of us but also horny as hell

I did nit imagine us being the driver in the road trip fr. I would be w Lita napping in the back. Chips and a juice box for the baby in the car.

“a bo’o o wota!”

WHO SEPARATED THE WIVES I JUST WANNA TALK🔫

Neva taking that Chyna Syndrome shirt off‼️

Who does Sunny think she's manipulating? Bc I'll fuck her up she don't even know 👊🏽💥

Gaslight Shawn yeah💃🏽 Bc he messing with the wrong one Casual girl girlboss shit

Sunny don't wanna get in the ring w me I'll kill her🔪 Maybe not. But it'll fell like it I'll fuck her up. Nobody's badder than The Bad Bitch Y/n Y/l/n. She can't even wrestle😭

GET HER YEAH💃🏽 SUNNY BETTER RUN TO THE SOUNDTRACK OF THE ANGELS CRYING

Is Rocky abt to be our little trainee? That's kinda adorable

THE PIG SHIT‼️ I thought we were past this😔

AL SNOW COME BACK ‼️ Just ask and I'll give you the world baby please😭

THE Y/N POP FOR THE MOST ELECTRIFYING PERSON IN SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT HELL YEAH

Taker don't even know that was just a sample

Sunnys in the mix bc she fucked the boss, let's bfr

YEAH WE FUCKED IT UP‼️

YEEEAAAHHH THE COMEBACK CHAPTER ATE IT UP💅🏽

🤡

SHE IS THE NEEDLE MOVERRRRR

yes again 😼

LEAVE MY BIG BABYBOY ALONE

and what about it 🤨 let him

gotta love the black cat and golden retriever dynamic y/n and shawn have

LMAO

HUNTA WITH AE BRI’ISH ACCENT

relatable

y/n will deck her soon dw

gaslight gatekeep girlboss

i know right he’s so cute 😭🫶🏼

NAURRRRR WE NEVER WILL BE

AL NEEDS ME I CAN GIVE HIM SOME REAL HEAD

Y/N THE WOMAN YOU ARE.

taker will get his slice soon.

AMEN

🫡🫡🫡

#rainchyna #my lil clown baby #sour grapes

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deiteyarchived · 2 years

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HELL YEAH STRONG CALF GANG!!!

YEEEAAAHHH MY LEGS R BUILT ASF bc I walk everywhere + 4 years of marching band and field shows + my hs campus was huge and it took like 5 min to get anywhere

#my valentine ❤︎

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the-pigeon · 2 years

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trlallesssl resell rwlalelsss talllessseeeee tkmeeee time

#pigeon talks #tag to block is pigeon.liveblogs if you dont want to see it #actually maybe just unfollow me bc i forget to tag reblogs until like after the stream is done #ANYWAY YEEEAAAHHH TALES TIIMEEEE

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ravynfyre · 2 years

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Hey, um, I was wondering if I could ask you something about firefighting?

Bc I saw on a post you're a firefighter. But if you don't want to answer that's fine!

So i've been thinking about being a firefighter. Not sure exactly, but it might be something I could do.

But I'm definitely anti-police (I'm not sure if there's a better word for that). Anyways, I don't know where you stand on the police or government or whatever, and it's not my business, but all I want to know is if you have to work a lot with the police? Like are you helping the police out at every scene you're at, or is it more incidental contact?

Sorry if this is a bad question!

My ask box is always open for any questions. And this one is a good one. A doozy, but a good one. It gives me something of a somber giggle, actually - giggle, because 1) EVERYONE knows that Firefighters and Cops hate each other! (LOL, not really, but there's usually a "friendly" rivalry) and 2) apparently my radical tendancies apparently haven't translated to tumblr as well as they have on facebook, because if they had, you wouldn't have been so worried to ask me this. Somber, because this is a very good, and somewhat serious, question.

First, let me preface this entire explanation with a couple of things. My father, when I was a young child, was a sheriff's deputy. I grew up in a LEO (law enforcement officer) household. That was a lot of what inspired me to want to get into emergency services. It was another event in second grade that decided me for the big red trucks, rather than the gun-toting thugs. (and here is where you should start seeing my... radical nature). Also, I have many friends from both my youth, and my adult years, who are police officers or other law enforcement officers now, and I love them deeply.

HOWEVER COMMA!

Putting the rest of this under a cut because it is likely to get long, and... potentially unpleasant.

So, this takes some explaining and personal info. Apologies for the TL;DR. For many, MANY years, I was extremely pro LEO. I was VERY pro cop. I was thin blue line and all that bullshit. My dad was a LEO, my friends are LEOs, I worked with LEOs a LOT, not only as a firefighter, but also especially as a search and rescue K9 handler and trainer. I assited (and still do) on a lot of human remains searches, and many, *many* of those are of "suspicious natures", which means that we will be working at the behest of, and closely with, law enforcement agencies on those searches. Cops are our friends, right? I mean, if you didn't do anything wrong, you shouldn't have anything to worry about, right?

RIGHT?!

Yeeeaaahhh. So.

About a decade ago, I was injured severely while on duty as a firefighter. I had been a firefighter since 1999, so I had been around the block a few times. I had also become deeply entrenched in the... the... the *mindset* of the emergency services world. I thought I was a pretty forgiving, intelligent, compassionate person. But after the doctors spent almost 2 years trying to put me back together again, and then the city came back and said that, unless they could guarantee that I would "get better enought to come back to work", that they were just not going to pay for any more treatment or testing... I had to face facts and take a disability retirement.

Now, quite suddenly, I was one of those "gubmint freeloaders" the guys at the firehouse liked to bitch about.

As a whole, firefighting, as a *union profession*, tends to be Democratic leaning. However, depending on what part of the country you are in, and just how much of your department is made of former military guys... can REALLY skew a department to the much more conservative side. And as a woman, I felt pretty pressured to conform in some ways, because it wold be that much less friction I would have to deal with for a full third of my life. (My department has a 24 hours on/48 hours off schedule)

I live in a pretty conservative area of the country, and at least 1/3rd of my old department are former military. It also really didn't help that, while our town was very conservative, the largest city in the state, and the city that gets the lion's share of tax revenue support, is very, very liberal. So there's a lot of very intense polarization. All of this is to say that my department was pretty conservative, and I learned to be conservative to help me survive in a pretty hostile environment.

Until I left, that is. And then, having become someone who lived with chronic pain that could not be treated, learning to live like a lot of my former patients did, and learning just how shitty the world is to anyone who isn't healthy, hale, whole, and "normal"... really opened my eyes.

And then shit like Philando Castile happened. Breonna Taylor. Oh, there's plenty more where they came from, and quite a few that happened way earlier than they did, but those are the names that stick in my head the easiest, because there's so fucking many people who have been killed by cops that it's impossible to remember them all.

What the fuck does that say about our nation, huh?

I stated to actually think about the many times I had to interact with cops on scenes over the decade+ of my career... started to objectively re-ealuate MY behavior during my incredibly short 1.5 years as a full time security guardshortly after I left the fire service. Started to think critically about "law enforcement" in the US as a whole...

"Law enforcement" in this country is deeply, DEEPLY flawed. Go ahead and @ me if you want (not you, anon... but the folks out there who are going to read this and approach this from the same place *I* was only 10 years ago) but fuck off and give it a REAL HARD THINK: why do cops need military equipment to use on civilians? What the fuck reason should cops be getting surplus APCs for? And if they can't use them responsibly, then why the fuck are we giving them "non-lethal weapons" that they have been intentionally trained to use in a LETHAL MANNER?

I love my friends who are cops. But I *hate* that they are cops. Because I firmly believe that if you have 1 bad cop in a department of 100 good cops, then you have 101 bad cops. Because if you participate and support a system that not only does not stop and prevent malfeasance, but actually seems to condone, support, and encourage it? Then you are as to blame for the bad actors as the bad actors are, themselves, even if you keep your conduct on the up and up at all times.

However, the biggest problem with these systems in this nation is that... those who are in law enforcement who notice the bad actors, and attempt to do something about them, are actively driven out by everyone else for "not backing their brothers". So it isn't quite as simple as saying that all cops are bastards... even if they basically are. It's HARD, if not down right DEADLY, to be a radical in quasi-military organization... and, apparently, thinking that everyone deserves their day in court, and that people shouldn't just be murdered because they were "too much trouble", is a radical idea in our nation's law enforcement community.

So. All of that to say that, yeah, I grok where you are coming from. Now, on to actually answer your question.

Whether or not you interact with LEOs a lot really depends on 1) the type of department you work on, 2) the size of the city/county/district you work in, and 3) the specific protocols of your department and the LE departments near you.

I worked in a small city - only 100k people - and 70% of our calls were medical in nature. MOST of our medical calls did NOT require a LEO - we don't need a cop underfoot when we're working a heart attack or a fell-off-a-ladder type call. BUT, any car wreck? Any suspicious injury? Any report of death? Yeah, we're going to have a cop nearby. If there is any possibility of a serious crime having been committed, then it's the LEO's scene and they "allow" us to work it. That being said, if there's a risk of life safety for the patient, WE would "allow" the cop to work our scene, in practice. Except for, you know, things where the bad guy is still on scene. Then the cops always go first. That's protocol, and quite frankly, if anyone is going to catch a stray bullet, I don't want it to be my crew. LEO's got a vest. Let them be the blue canary.

In a smaller department, in a city with fewer cops (their budget was always literally TEN TIMES what Fire's was, despite us having twice the number of folks and twelve fucking stations, compared to their ONE), in a volunteer department, or one that runs mostly country type calls, you would likely run with LEOs a LOT less. But assume that any criminal call and any car wreck will have a cop involved. That being said, typically, it will be fire fire company officer - captain or lieutenant, meaning - that will actually interact with the cop(s) on scene, rather than the rank and file firefighters.

THAT being said, however... if you plan on going into firefighting as a full time career... Keep your radical ideas under your hat. ESPECIALLY for the first five years. Unless your crew is extremely liberal, just keep your mouth shut about jackbooted thugs and "excessive force"... because emergency services is *dangerous*, and someone doesn't have to be actively gunning for you, for you to get very badly hurt on the job. As for dealing with interacting with LEOs while on duty... like I said, it's usually going to be the company officer, and if you DO need to deal with one, just be calm, courteous, and succinct. You don't have to like someone to do your job.

Especially for a firefighter. Because we can't just decide NOT to use or skills on a patient because the individual happened to murder their spouse before they tried to kill themself. We can't decide NOT to cut the drunk driver that just killed a whole family out of their car. We can't NOT rescue the arsonist from their own fire because they miscalculated.

Long story short... LEOs will be around if you're working as a firefighter. But not in your pocket. Don't let dealing with LEOs be the thing that decides you against becomming a firefighter. They shouldn't get to win that fight. But don't go running around burning all their thin blue line flags, either. If you doubt your own ability to maintain a professional work demeanor around a LEO, just because they are a LEO, then, yeah, working in emergency services is not for you. Because the cops won't be the only unpleasant people you will have to work with. A LEO could be the only thing standing between you and a psycho using a 357 magnum as a chili spoon. (in nothing but his stained tidy whiteys, at that. Yeah, shit can get reeeaaal wild sometimes).

Most importantly, though... don't let your career harden your heart - no matter WHAT you go into.

#stupid firefighter tricks #firefighting #ARE acab?#stupid paramedic tricks #emergency services #life with LEOs

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msookyspooky · 2 years

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I’ve always been a billy and stu girl but sequels suck is making me feel things for randy I am in pain for the poor boy. Excellent writing but I am SUFFERING

SAME

I did not plan on Randy being such a big part of Sequels Suck but here we are. Lol his character must have been kicking me in the head from his timeline if reality shifting is a thing or something bc I've grown to really appreciate his character even If I still have this Billy x Stu x Reader eventually

Yeeeaaahhh....It's gonna hurt me 🥲🥲🥲

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slashiest-slasher · 4 years

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How would the slashers act with a s/o that came hone drunk and just wanted to ya know... have some 'fun'?

i’m sorry i wrote most of this months ago while drunk, and finishing it up just now equally as drunk ﾍ(ﾟ∇ﾟﾍ) enjoy!

Michael Myers (1978 'verse)

- When you go out without telling Michael where, he usually worries thinks you're going to rat on him. But you've just worked your way into his hear enough that he's stopped stalking you everywhere you go.

- But when you finally manage to find your way home, he doesn't expect you to fumble with your keys and slam the front door open. He was watching TV when you did, and while Michael doesn't get startled, he did whip his head a bit quicker.

- He just manages to catch sight of you stumbling in, and catching yourself before you faceplant on hardwood floor. "MIKEY~ I'M HOOOOME~" you bellow out and make your way to the couch.

- Oh boy.

- Michael doesn't react when you plop yourself down in his lap, wrap your arms around his neck, and clumsily attempt to press your lips to his mask. Normally, Michael has a rather voracious sexual appetite. But you're sloppy, and uncoordinated and smell like beer. It's disgusting, and Michael is the kind of guy who eats dog carcasses.

- So instead he pushes you down onto the couch, and pulls down the blanket from the back of the couch. Every attempt of yours to climb back on him is met with being pushed back down while he watched TV.

Jason Voorhees

- Jason is in a similar-ish boat where he has just begun trusting you to leave without flipping out and thinking you're running away. So yeah, he isn't a fan when you tell him you're going for a few drinks at the pub in town.

- Yeah, few drinks his fucking ass. You come back 2 hours later than you intended, stumbling out of some guys jeep, and trip just past the entrance of the camp. You just... lay there, in the dirt. If your back wasn't rising and falling, he'd think you were dead.

- He still panics, because he's Jason. What else is he supposed to do other than kill teens? He runs and hauls your body over his shoulder, and back to the cabin. And our boy built like a brick house, jumps when you start groping his ass.

- "Jaaaason, I need you to fuck me, like right now," you slur out when he dumps you on the bed. Yeeeaaahhh, no, not happening. Not now, not ever when you've been drinking. He can hardly tolerate anyone consuming alcohol, and mixing sex in? What would mother think of him?

- One sin at a time, as you always say.

- He still lays in bed with you, because he's tired and it's his bed too! Even if you try getting him to have sex with you, is a Stone Wall, and will not allow anything to happen until you eventually pass out from exhaustion.

NSFW bellow cut, because c'mon, theyre serial killers

Thomas Hewitt

- Drunk people? At his house? Color Thomas shocked (not). Please he lives with Holt, who drinks pretty much every hour of every day. He can scarcely think of a time when he wasn't drunk. But hey, if the two of you were going off to drink and fish (a past-time you forced Holt into liking) then whatever, he has work to do. He'll just wait until you get back to demand your attention.

- When you and Holt manage to pull up in front of the house without crashing the truck into a tree, he's content. Neither of you seem dead, and you also have a cooler full of fish. A refreshing change from human. Holt stumbles to the front door, as per usual, but you're barely hanging off his shoulder, dragging the cooler behind you.

- Oh No. Thomas Is Not Happy.

- He didn't care if you drank, at all. He didn't even care if you got drunk. Everyone, even Luda Mae drank at the house, so it wasn't a problem. But you can barely walk, and pretty wasted people and Holt don't mix. So Thomas sweeps you up to his room as soon as possible.

- Despite being drunk, you're pretty damn strong. Enough so to pull Thomas down on top of yourself when you land on the bed. You get him nice and settled between your legs and pet the back of his head. "Well heelloooo handsome," you murmur. "You here to show me a good time?"

- Thomas, and rightfully so, freezes. You two have barely just gotten to hand holding stage, and now here you are: flushed, disheveled, and practically asking him to fuck you. Thomas breathes heavily behind his mask, and can't help but grind against you. You're too irresistible.

- But he won't go any further than dry humping until both of you are satisfied. Luda Mae, after all, raised a proper southern gentleman (or her version of one at the very least), so having sex when you two aren't married, or when you haven't consented, would be awfully rude of him. But he is Horny, and you are Horny, and what's a little grinding until he cums in his pants?

Freddy Kruger

- You? Drinking? What is this, torture time featuring the hot person who is the only one who Freddy seem unable, or unwilling, to kill? You're killin him, Smalls.

- Seriously, you're hot as hell to Freddy, and since you're alive and not some demon that haunts everyone's nightmares, you can do everything Freddy can't. You can drink, you can fuck, you can eat, and it drive him mad! So when you're getting sloshed, Freddy is getting more riled up. He can only get dream wasted, which is nowhere near the same.

- So he bides his time until you pass the fuck out and end up in dreamland. But lo and behold, you just polished off an entire fifth of whisky by yourself, so you're still trashed. Even while you're asleep and dreaming of yourself getting plowed by Freddy.

- Fucking jackpot. Freddy knew there was a reason he liked you. So he doesn't really do anything at first, just kind of goes invisible and watched while your version of him has got you on your back, legs over his shoulders, and making you moan like some kind of porn star. He'd like to be all up in there, but watching you go at it is kind of hot?

Brahms Heelshire (bc he is MY BOY; also dubcon warning bc the reader is drunk and cant properly consent)

- Okay so Brahms is kind of in the same boat as Jason where he as literally just got around to trusting you to leave without worrying that you were going to abandon him. Except it took a lot longer for him. You are allowed to go out to the pub for TWO HOURS with Malcolm, but that's it.

- (If Brahms wasn't so adverse to leaving the house he would've gone with you so you would've kiss Malcolm)

- But you're an HOUR late, and he's about to start breaking shit until he sees you stumbling up the road to the manor. Singing. LOUDLY. If Brahms wasn't so wound up he'd find it endearing.

- As soon as he throws the door open to yell at you, you pretty much topple on top of him, and try getting his shirt off. "Braaahms, you're sooo hot. What did I do to deserve someone like you?"

- Oh damn.

- You hit two of his major turn ons at once. And since Brahmsy is a feral little man with no manners, he just pins you to the floor, gets your pants off, and starts finger banging you right then and then. He wastes no time before shoving himself in. He's gotta take you right here, with the cold wind blowing in.

- Boy is practically shaking from how much you got him riled up in such a short time. He really does try to savor in the sight of you sprawled underneath him, face red, and unable to hide your moans.

- For once, you cum before him, and that's what has him cumming. Your O face is one of the hottest things to him. And you both pass out, just right there in front of the open door. At least when you wake up five hours later, moderately sober and in need of a piss, you manage to herd him upstairs and into bed.

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aks3raao1 · 3 years

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So I wrote smth for my grandma's birthday (idr when it is, I just know I made this for her-) and it's centered around both my grandparents (orders from my family) and I just rlly wanted to share it

Grandparents

It's been a while since I felt safe.

I'm tucked under your arms,

In your warm embrace.

The old jokes that don't seem to age,

Paired with the smiles we still make.

I cherish moments of naivety,

The ones you're so happy to give me.

You encourage my dreams

When others put me down.

You want me to fly

When others want me on the ground.

I probably wouldn't still be a kid

If it wasn't for you,

My grandparents.

And that's the truth.

I showed it to my mom and asked if it was ok and she said I must make it longer and I just gave her a deadpan stare and said "no". That "no" actually meant, "bitch, I just poured my heart out on this piece of paper and literally started tearing up in the middle of it and you want me to add more lines bc you think it's not good enough????? Well, fuck you"

And yeeeaaahhh

@travalerray thoughts?

#poem #by me #grandparents #birthday #yeet

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bastard-thot · 5 years

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ok hear me out

dabihawks flower shop / tattoo parlour au right?? but kinda reversed???

like hawks is a tattoo artist but he himself doesn’t have any tattoos except the red wings on his back and he has this whole soft boi/stoner thing going on

dabi works at his mom’s flower shop

(he took it over while she was in the hospital and since she divorced that dumpster fire and got released they kinda run it together)

and he is absolutely covered in tattoos and piercings and definetly does not look like someone who works in a flower shop and like;;;;;;; enjoys it

but he loves working there!!!!

and one day hawks comes by to sketch some flowers for some new designs or sth

and it would have been like maybe a one time thing if it weren’t for the fact that hawks just instantly fell in love upon entering the shop

because the guy that works there????is so attractive???

he just sort of waltzes in there and goes “i’ma skech here for a while if that’s okay.btw your tattoos are hella dope”

so hawks goes there more often and dabi doesn’t mind because he gets to watch this cute guy’s even cuter, concentrated face

and they always have a little chat with not so subtle flirting

they talk about dumb shit too though like

hawks: hey do u like mean girls dabi: do u,,,do u mean the movie or like,,,,actual mean girls,,? hawks:. ,,,,,,,both, i guess? i love my idiotic bastard children

they never really talk about that many personal things but somehow they just click

wich is why dabi doesn’t know that my boy hawks is a tattoo artist bc c’mon;;;;;;; this crackhead wannabe soft boi is supposed to permanently ink ppl???? yeeeaaahhh nope

plus he always smells of coffee so dabi just kinda sorta assumed that hawks was a barista in some cute coffee shop not that he was smelling hawks everytime he got the chance because what kinda creep would do that definetly not dabi

fast forward a month or two

dabi wants to get some flowers tattooed in honour of his mom (she didn’t die, he just loves her and is proud of her for getting her shit back together) and because flowers have always calmed/comforted him and reminded him that not everything in this world is ugly

so he goes to his usual tattoo arist and good friend and explains what he wants from him

and the guy’s like “i can totally do it but if u want something special for this one, there’s this guy i know who’s been getting really good at flower tattoos lately for whatever reason??” so he shows dabi some of this other artist’s work

and holy shit it’s really fucking good

so dabi gets the adresse and zooms over there ang guess who he sees there, lazily flipping through a magazine because buisness is slow that day and his lunch break isn’t for another hour

it’s hawks !!!

and their conversation kinda just goes

dabi: what are u doing here?? hawks: i work here???? dabi: so u,,,,don’t work at a coffee shop?? hawks: no,,,why would you think that? dabi: because you always smell like you bathe in coffee beans? hawks: yeah that’s because I’m tired

to make this short : they talk about the tattoo dabi wants to get and hawks really is pretty good at what he does so dabi gets his tattoo done by hawks and after that they only become even closer and they live happily ever after talking shit about some of their customers’ outrageous demands

#i might add on to this #but this has been in my drafts for forever #and i finally wanted to post it #btw im not a writer in case you haven't noticed #i love those two dumbasses #they're so;;;#dumb #i just want them to be happy #dabihawks #hotwings #headcanon #bnha dabi #bnha hawks #flowershop au #tattoo artist au #boku no hero academia #my hero academia

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jackpans · 4 years

Photo

J A C K ♡ P A N

G E O M E T R I C S

↬ Full name ↫

Jack Darling Pan

↬ Nickname ↫

She hates being called Jackie but otherwise she gets Pan sometimes.

↬ Birthday ↫

June 3rd

↬ Birthplace ↫

Neverland

↬ Zodiac ↫

Gemini

↬ Height ↫

5′4

↬ Orientation ↫

Pansexual

↬ Social Class ↫

Middle Class

↬ Wealth ↫

Their parents don’t focus much on money and material things so neither has Jack. She’s always been comfortable.

A P P E A R A N C E

↬ Tattoos ↫

She has a bunch of little tattoos. A flower with stem on the inside of her arm, an arrow behind her ear, a constellation on her wrist, a couple drawn stars on the inside of her fingers. She plans on getting more.

↬ Piercing ↫

Jack has three ear piercings on each ear.

↬ Outfits ↫

She loves to experiment and wear whatever her mood is that day. There’s a lot of color but nothing that really fits the social norm of what is trendy, she goes with what she likes. Whether that’s a girly gingham dress with sneakers or chunky boots with a button down another, you never know what to expect from her but somehow it always works.

↬ Accessories ↫

Jack actually does need glasses thanks to the Darling side of the family but only wears them on occasion..again depending on her mood and outfit.

P E R S O N A L I T Y

↬ Normal mood ↫

She’s bubbly and quirky most of the time. Jack is someone who is typically happy and trying to just have fun.

↬ Temper ↫

She can be immature and pick fights when she shouldn’t so she can have a temper when she gets fired up.

↬ Discipline ↫

Oh she doesn’t know the definition of discipline. She struggles with being patient and following the rules

↬ Strengths ↫

Jack is confident and strong but her immaturity tends to make people underestimate her. She doesn’t really care enough to fight physically with someone but will try and hold her ground in another other fight. Although, it doesn’t usually end well for her and she usually puts her foot in her mouth.

↬ Weaknesses ↫

Her carefree attitude can be her weakness since people assume she doesn’t care. And lately Mr Henrizzle has become a bit of a weakness since she L words him.

↬ Drive/dreams ↫

Yeeeaaahhh....this is her struggle. She can’t commit to something to dream about it. She wants to explore and experience everything imaginable. (True flakey gemini just sayin)

↬ Fears ↫

Not much scares her. If anything the only thing that scares her is growing up.

↬ Likes ↫

Flying, exploring, Henry, wine, ice cream, Henry, pixie dust, swimming

↬ Dislikes ↫

Pirates, responsibility, driving

↬ Soft spot ↫

Henry :) And actually Jacob. She wouldn’t let anyone hurt him.

↬ Depression ↫

It’s very hard to get her depressed - she can’t even remember a time.

↬ Inspiration ↫

Her parent’s story and Auradon in general. It’s a small part of the world but there’s so much to see and do.

↬ Role model ↫

Her dad but her mom too. She loves them and their relationship, she’s always looked up to them.

↬ Mental disorder ↫

She’s crazy but nothing that crazy.

↬ Habits ↫

She picks at her split ends when she’s bored.

R A T I N G S

(5 Stars means very high strength, 1 star means very low strength aka weak)

↬ Psychological strength ↫

⭑⭑⭑⭑⭑ - At least she thinks so. She’s very cocky.

↬ Physical strength ↫

⭑⭑⭑⭑ - Okay listen she’s not that strong but don’t let her hear you say that. SHE THINKS SHE IS OKAY.

↬ Leadership ↫

⭑⭑⭑⭑ - Jack was always in charge of all the kids who lived on Neverland. Is she great at it? No. Think about that bossy little girl who tells you what to name your dolls and how to play with them. But she doesn’t really care to lead but she can if she needs to.

↬ Wisdom ↫

⭑ - I'm just gonna go with no. Homegirl does not think before she acts. I’m sorry.

↬ Intelligence ↫

⭑⭑⭑ - It’s the classic case of ‘if she applied herself’ but she doesn’t. Jack actually knows a lot and picks up street smarts but she just doesn’t care enough to do anything in school.

�� Confidence ↫

⭑⭑⭑⭑⭑ - She’s got confidence up the wazoo.

↬ Endurance ↫

⭑⭑⭑⭑ - Jack doesn’t have a lot of hardships but she actually thrives on change and can adapt quickly. She loves it since she gets bored easily.

R E L A T I O N S H I P S

↬ Father ↫

Peter, one of her favorite people in the world. He’s funny and has the best stories. Jack has always been close with him.

↬ Mother ↫

Wendy who is a little bit harder on her to do well in school and grow up a little bit. She looks up to her mom and wants to make her proud but the desire to have fun and be a dummy is stronger right now.

↬ Siblings ↫

Oh Jacob...she loves her little brother but he can be such a wet blanket. She wants him to loosen up and have fun but when he doesn’t she gives up and moves onto to something or someone else.

↬ Other relatives ↫

No it’s only the four of them. They don’t really see their uncles or cousins that often since they are in another area of Auradon.

↬ Enemies ↫

Carson but not really, Jack just thinks she wants Henry so that makes her MAD

↬ Rivals ↫

Same as above ya know

↬ Friends ↫

Henry, Sam, Mei, to everyone’s dismay Cora.

↬ Best friend ↫

Cora was always her best friend since becoming her roommate in Auradon Prep but truthfully they’ve grown apart. Jack loves magic and Cora is a scared little bitch. So Henry has become her best friend.

↬ Love interest ↫

Henry :)

↬ Marital status ↫

She be dating that hot, sometimes too serious VK boy

↬ Children ↫

Someday - Celeste & Sawyer

↬ Pets ↫

Not yet - she wants a dog when she moves away from Cora bc that girl has a lizard of sorts and it would eat it.

P A S T - T I M E

↬ Hobbies ↫

Flying, going to parties, exploring & finding treasures, practicing self care

↬ Talents ↫

Uh..truthfully not much. She’s good at talking herself into trouble?

↬ Sports ↫

Nah

↬ Classes ↫

She says she’s undeclared but she’s actually picked a communications major to appease her mother. Jack thinks it’s easy and broad enough that she could get any job whenever she does graduate.

↬ Occupation ↫

No job - she’s too busy flying around and being cute. Truthfully i think once she gets her act together will go into some kind of creative job with either fashion or maybe even home interiors. It’s a good way for her to express herself and still be creative.

H O M E L I F E

↬ Location ↫

She lives in an apartment building with Cora in Auradon City

↬ House size ↫

It’s a fair size for two people. Cora pays more bc she’s a princess and asked for the bigger room.

↬ House type ↫

Jack has mostly decorated it - it’s a very fun and cute apartment. She had a lot of fun actually.

↬ Level of luxury ↫

It’s modest but newly renovated.

↬ Outdoor description ↫

It’s an apartment but the roof top is nice that they can utilize. Jack flies off of it a lot.

↬ Indoor description ↫

Jack decorated it similar to her style of clothes. Colorful and fun but random sometimes. She throws in random things she’s found around Auradon in her exploring. Cora keeps it neat and clean for them though.

↬ Bedroom description ↫

It’s colorful but cozy. A lot of throw pillows and art on the walls.

L I F E S T O R Y

↬ Age 0-12 ↫

Jack’s world was mostly just Neverland and any adventures her dad would take them on. Their family and the community in their neighborhood was a great way to grow up. She learned a lot about pixies and faeries during this time. Even though Jack knew her dad and Jacob fought a lot, she didn’t think much of it and thought it was just a game they played.

↬ Age 13-18 ↫

Jack finally got to play with pixie dust on her own. She started to travel all over Auradon without the knowledge of her parents. Peter never seemed to care where as Wendy was always worried about her.

↬ Age 19-25 ↫

Living in Auradon City full time has been fun for her. She loves meeting new people and especially when the VKs really started to come over from the Isle. Eventually she started to see Henry and it slowly and slowly became more serious. Babies probs gonna move in together next - GOOD LUCK HENRY that’s all I gotta say.

↬ Darkest secret ↫

Jack lost her virginity to Kit

#bio

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solitaria-fantasma · 4 years

Text

((Extensive Session #3 highlights.))

We go to Von Trikona’s tower and are greeted by three students and a handful of golems.

Humphry eyes Mountain with abject terror.

Von Trikona gives us the preserved bodies wrapped in burial shrouds, and teleports us to the town of Fwee - just past the security gates, but not right in town square.

The map for the town of Fwee is heckin’ pretty.

“Oh no...oh no, I fucked up. I made a mistake! UwU!!!”

“Please don’t comment on the corpse-shaped backpacks!”

Udaji may be tol and stronk but she is also dumb and can’t roll higher than a 10 on her Perception checks.

“The only ones who don’t blend in with the local crowd are the Halfling and the Dragonborn.” Claus and I just can’t catch a break…

We walked around the marketplace with the preserved corpse backpacks for a while as we asked for directions to the Rose family home.

Mountain’s intimidation checks are on-point.

Udaji’s average Perception roll is a 4 while the rest of the party averages around 16.

It has been decided that this scaly baby should never have been allowed out of town on her own.

Somebody in this town is throwing mud balls and glitter bomb darts at our rogue and Udaji is seeing NONE of it.

“Claus would like to point out that you’re covered in paint.”

We entered a house and the DM resized our icons to reflect the height differences. It looked like a bad game of Agar.io and I was winning.

Matthias - still covered in paint - was politely asked not to sit on the furniture, and handed a single tiny-ass napkin to ‘clean up’ with.

“Yeeeaaahhh...there was no easy way to do this, was there?”

“Is it more disrespectful to put the bodies on the ground or the table?”

“It might be more disrespectful to try and unwrap the bodies one handed and risk dropping them.”

“Above the board, do we have to tell her that the bandits were already dead when we found them?”

Matthias ‘accidentally’ smeared paint on the servant on his way out, and offered him the tiny-ass napkin back.

Lady Rose thanked us for returning her family’s bodies, but asked us to give her some time to process her loss.

We then went to the magic district (mostly wizards, mostly elven) to get started on the errands we promised to run between Von Trikona and her friend Vincent.

We knocked on the door, heard a loud ‘CRASH’, and poked our heads through the unlocked door Scooby-Doo style.

The DM promptly had us roll for initiative.

I keep forgetting to select my token BEFORE rolling for initiative heck.

“Hopefully you guys don’t die.”

“Gotta be honest - I’ve thought about what character I’d bring in if Udaji DID die. But it would be really, REALLY sad.”

I had to run down to get dinner and missed half a turn of combat but I made it back just in time for my second go.

“Oh! Udaji! You missed this part, but the old wizard man has cried out for you to not set anything on fire.”

“Can do! That’s not my kind of dragon heritage!!”

The old wizard man is ‘Vincent Oman’ - an artificer. We returned his stuff, and he offered us dinner.

“This guy is, like, peak Grandpa. He’s very happy to have people over.”

Vincent has not heard of Lord Hassan, but recalled an enchanted lockbox a cohort of his (Ceri, another artificer) had made on commission for the dowry of a local girl marrying a man in the next kingdom over.

That lockbox (enchanted to be neigh on impossible to break into) was part of Clarissa Rose’s dowry, and now I’m sad.

Vincent drew us a map to Ceri’s house, and then we nearly left without picking up Maxine’s books (three advanced spellbooks & some of her notes).

He also offered to let us sleep in his attic for the night, since it was getting late, only asking us to try and keep quiet, as he was a delicate sleeper.

Matthias finally got to wash off the paint in the ‘waterifier’ (re: magical, water-creating shower).

Vincent reminds Udaji too much of her own dad, and she took one point of homesickness damage. Vincent gave her heartwarming life advice, and more food.

“It’s okay if you get sad sometimes, when traveling far from home. You will find people who will not, perhaps, fill the void, but surely make it feel less empty.”

I’m going to adopt Vincent holy heck

Ceri confirmed that the lockbox was commissioned to keep safe a dowry traveling a long distance, and told us that it could only be opened by using two skeleton keys simultaneously.

We had found one of said skeleton keys in the bandit/necromancer lair back in Session 1.

“We were too eager to shout ‘MURDER!’ in front of the guards back in Torrin so now we’re afraid to whisper it in Fwee.”

Ceri confirmed that the key we found is one of the lockbox’s two keys.

We then debated for five minutes who the key, lockbox, and dowry would legally belong to, now that Clarissa and Donald are dead, but never officially reached the wedding.

“This is not the kind of law my family studies!”

Ceri whispered a few rumors of engagements in the area that had fallen through due to ‘accidents’ which saw the dowries go missing, and that the enchanted lockbox had been commissioned by the Rose family to protect against that.

He then told us to get out of his house.

“That’s the kindest ‘GTFO’ I’ve ever gotten.”

“We haven’t heard back from Lady Rose yet, but I feel like it would be too awkward to go back to her house and knock on the door like “Hey, are you done grieving yet?”. The answer is probably ‘no’...”

“Maybe if we walk around town, someone will try to throw more paint at Matthias.”

We wandered around the marketplace for a while, trying to lure out the mysterious woman who’d been throwing things at us the day before.

[Just to set a little reference - this is all happening within the first two hours of the campaign.]

Matthias got egged, and we chased the perpetrator into a public park.

Mountain got distracted by the beautiful view, and Matthias threatened the woman with his bow. The woman pulled her own bow and threatened right back.

“I am going to swing my lute around in front of me to act as a shield in a worst case scenario. I’m not taking an arrow over an egg.

THE WOMAN. IS MATTHIAS’. CHILD.

DM: “How long has it been since you last spoke with your lover?”

Matthias: “Let’s say it’s been….twenty-five years, seven months.”

The kid’s name is Astrid, and she is mAJORLY pissed off at ‘dad’.

Udaji is backing away from the awkward family reunion, and Mountain is still distracted by the park scenery and has no idea.

“You’re Hohenheim, and she’s Edward.”

[I understood that reference!!]

“Udaji makes eye contact with Mountain and shakes her head like “Don’t get involved you’ll regret it”.”

Mountain officially confirmed for Tiefling.

Claus tries to calm Astrid with the blessings of Lathander. She refuses. Udaji bends over a little and pats Claus on the shoulder consolingly.

His player has difficulty articulating it (and honestly, who wouldn’t? Words are hard), but Matthias is legitimately upset to hear that his lover had died.

“You go up to her and give her a hug with a pat-pat?”

“She immediately starts sobbing in your arms.”

“I shed a single manly tear.”

Mountain has only just now caught up to the fact that these rogues know each other.

Astrid is now refusing to leave. Udaji is still the party baby.

“The only reason I was allowed out of town is because nobody could physically stop me.”

“Claus gives you a comforting pat on your hip, as that’s about as high as he can reach.”

After all that chaos, we were approached by a servant from the Rose family, calling us back to Lady Rose’s house.

Her name is now Ingrid Rose, because the DM forgot to name her until this very moment. Mood.

Matthias is still covered in egg.

Lady Rose admits that she thought the offer of marriage from Lord Bryant Hassan to her daughter was too good to be true.

She also admits that she thought the Lord had asked for a rather greedy amount of dowry with the proposal.

“Were any of my husband or daughter’s possessions recovered?”

Don’t look at Matthias. Don’t look at Matthias. Don’t look at Matthias.

Lady Rose asks us to look into the recovery of the enchanted lockbox that was carrying her daughter’s dowry, and offers to reward us for it.

She ALSO asks us to put a knife in the throat of whomever arranged her daughter’s death, should we find it to not, in fact, be a tragic accident.

Astrid is basically June from AtLA but without Nyla.

Everybody stocks up on rations for a long trip back to return Maxine Von Trikona’s books.

We get on the road back to Torrin, retracing the ill-fated Rose party’s steps as we go.

After two days on the road, we come across a seemingly wounded man on the side of the road, by an overturned cart.

He asks us for gold to get back on his feet.

Udaji immediately fell for it, and had to be physically stopped from reaching for her gold.

Miraculously, we all managed to avoid a bunch of mysterious projectiles and whistling noises.

Interestingly, both of the guard corpses we had ‘interviewed’ reported hearing a whistling noise before their death.

Mountain took an arrow to the horn, but only three points of damage.

We were all tired by this point and there were a lot of bandits so combat was looooooong.

Claus has two waiting Bardic Inspiration dice and is having a very good day.

“You’re going to shoot THROUGH your daughter and your cleric??”

ONE BANDIT DOWN!

I charged at a bandit, sword drawn, but couldn’t quite make it there in one turn, so I added an intimidating roar for good measure.

I rolled a nat 20, therefore proving that I inherited SOMEthing from my white dragon mother, and the bandit pissed himself.

THREE BANDITS DOWN!

I took 8 points of damage from the other bandits and it’s a good thing the DM had us level up at least once bc if I’d still had my lvl. 1 total of 9hp that damage would have damn near killed me.

“Ew, he’s got a skull face with horns! ...oh, wait, he’s just ugly nevermind.”

“If I cast the magic, but Matthias says the words, can we duet ‘Vicious Mockery’?”

“My mother [the white dragon] would be proud of that, and I’m not sure I’M proud of that.”

I stand corrected: Astrid is a ranger, not a rogue.

Dragonborn zoomies.

“I may be wearing a flower crown, but I’m still scary.”

I have now decided that there will be - at minimum - one fight where I take off my flower crown and force someone else in the party to hold it.

Probably Claus.

SIX BANDITS DOWN!

“Well, they identify as a corpse right now, so…”

We got distracted for another five minutes arguing about how useful Hawkeye was to the Avengers in the MCU vs. how useful Hawkeye was to Loki in the MCU, which spawned from the DM apologizing for her slowness in playing out Astrid’s turn, as she had never played a Ranger before because she thought they were useless.

Poor Hawkeye.

The bandit captain tried to ambush Astrid, hit her with one of two scimitars, and failed his dagger roll badly enough to stab himself.

Claus - incredibly inspired by Udaji’s music and heroics - saved Mountain from dying.

Udaji keeps rolling really well on attacks and damage...if only I could shuffle some of those over into Perception.

Astrid got the killing shot on the bandit captain.

I looted his body, and found (2) scimitars, tattered leather armor, the queen piece from a set of dragon chess, and (7) silver.

I took the chess piece, and nothing else.

Astrid found footprints leading back to the bandits’ camp, so we took over it for the night.

We leveled up! Woo!!!

Zone of Truth. Zone of TrUTH. ZONE OF TRUTH-

And College of Creation. This is gonna be fun!!!

#OOC #Quarantine D&D #((these keep getting longer and longer...))#((I need to learn to summarize))

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