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#bc the smear campaign against her was so bad that people have walked away with him as a hero
solitaria-fantasma · 4 years
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((Extensive Session #3 highlights.))
We go to Von Trikona’s tower and are greeted by three students and a handful of golems.
Humphry eyes Mountain with abject terror.
Von Trikona gives us the preserved bodies wrapped in burial shrouds, and teleports us to the town of Fwee - just past the security gates, but not right in town square.
The map for the town of Fwee is heckin’ pretty.
“Oh no...oh no, I fucked up. I made a mistake! UwU!!!”
“Please don’t comment on the corpse-shaped backpacks!”
Udaji may be tol and stronk but she is also dumb and can’t roll higher than a 10 on her Perception checks.
“The only ones who don’t blend in with the local crowd are the Halfling and the Dragonborn.” Claus and I just can’t catch a break…
We walked around the marketplace with the preserved corpse backpacks for a while as we asked for directions to the Rose family home.
Mountain’s intimidation checks are on-point.
Udaji’s average Perception roll is a 4 while the rest of the party averages around 16.
It has been decided that this scaly baby should never have been allowed out of town on her own.
Somebody in this town is throwing mud balls and glitter bomb darts at our rogue and Udaji is seeing NONE of it.
“Claus would like to point out that you’re covered in paint.”
We entered a house and the DM resized our icons to reflect the height differences. It looked like a bad game of Agar.io and I was winning.
Matthias - still covered in paint - was politely asked not to sit on the furniture, and handed a single tiny-ass napkin to ‘clean up’ with.
“Yeeeaaahhh...there was no easy way to do this, was there?”
“Is it more disrespectful to put the bodies on the ground or the table?”
“It might be more disrespectful to try and unwrap the bodies one handed and risk dropping them.”
“Above the board, do we have to tell her that the bandits were already dead when we found them?”
Matthias ‘accidentally’ smeared paint on the servant on his way out, and offered him the tiny-ass napkin back.
Lady Rose thanked us for returning her family’s bodies, but asked us to give her some time to process her loss.
We then went to the magic district (mostly wizards, mostly elven) to get started on the errands we promised to run between Von Trikona and her friend Vincent.
We knocked on the door, heard a loud ‘CRASH’, and poked our heads through the unlocked door Scooby-Doo style.
The DM promptly had us roll for initiative.
I keep forgetting to select my token BEFORE rolling for initiative heck.
“Hopefully you guys don’t die.”
“Gotta be honest - I’ve thought about what character I’d bring in if Udaji DID die. But it would be really, REALLY sad.”
I had to run down to get dinner and missed half a turn of combat but I made it back just in time for my second go.
“Oh! Udaji! You missed this part, but the old wizard man has cried out for you to not set anything on fire.”
“Can do! That’s not my kind of dragon heritage!!”
The old wizard man is ‘Vincent Oman’ - an artificer. We returned his stuff, and he offered us dinner.
“This guy is, like, peak Grandpa. He’s very happy to have people over.”
Vincent has not heard of Lord Hassan, but recalled an enchanted lockbox a cohort of his (Ceri, another artificer) had made on commission for the dowry of a local girl marrying a man in the next kingdom over.
That lockbox (enchanted to be neigh on impossible to break into) was part of Clarissa Rose’s dowry, and now I’m sad.
Vincent drew us a map to Ceri’s house, and then we nearly left without picking up Maxine’s books (three advanced spellbooks & some of her notes).
He also offered to let us sleep in his attic for the night, since it was getting late, only asking us to try and keep quiet, as he was a delicate sleeper.
Matthias finally got to wash off the paint in the ‘waterifier’ (re: magical, water-creating shower).
Vincent reminds Udaji too much of her own dad, and she took one point of homesickness damage. Vincent gave her heartwarming life advice, and more food.
“It’s okay if you get sad sometimes, when traveling far from home. You will find people who will not, perhaps, fill the void, but surely make it feel less empty.”
I’m going to adopt Vincent holy heck
Ceri confirmed that the lockbox was commissioned to keep safe a dowry traveling a long distance, and told us that it could only be opened by using two skeleton keys simultaneously.
We had found one of said skeleton keys in the bandit/necromancer lair back in Session 1.
“We were too eager to shout ‘MURDER!’ in front of the guards back in Torrin so now we’re afraid to whisper it in Fwee.”
Ceri confirmed that the key we found is one of the lockbox’s two keys.
We then debated for five minutes who the key, lockbox, and dowry would legally belong to, now that Clarissa and Donald are dead, but never officially reached the wedding.
“This is not the kind of law my family studies!”
Ceri whispered a few rumors of engagements in the area that had fallen through due to ‘accidents’ which saw the dowries go missing, and that the enchanted lockbox had been commissioned by the Rose family to protect against that.
He then told us to get out of his house.
“That’s the kindest ‘GTFO’ I’ve ever gotten.”
“We haven’t heard back from Lady Rose yet, but I feel like it would be too awkward to go back to her house and knock on the door like “Hey, are you done grieving yet?”. The answer is probably ‘no’...”
“Maybe if we walk around town, someone will try to throw more paint at Matthias.”
We wandered around the marketplace for a while, trying to lure out the mysterious woman who’d been throwing things at us the day before.
[Just to set a little reference - this is all happening within the first two hours of the campaign.]
Matthias got egged, and we chased the perpetrator into a public park.
Mountain got distracted by the beautiful view, and Matthias threatened the woman with his bow. The woman pulled her own bow and threatened right back.
“I am going to swing my lute around in front of me to act as a shield in a worst case scenario. I’m not taking an arrow over an egg.
THE WOMAN. IS MATTHIAS’. CHILD.
DM: “How long has it been since you last spoke with your lover?”
Matthias: “Let’s say it’s been….twenty-five years, seven months.”
The kid’s name is Astrid, and she is mAJORLY pissed off at ‘dad’.
Udaji is backing away from the awkward family reunion, and Mountain is still distracted by the park scenery and has no idea.
“You’re Hohenheim, and she’s Edward.”
[I understood that reference!!]
“Udaji makes eye contact with Mountain and shakes her head like “Don’t get involved you’ll regret it”.”
Mountain officially confirmed for Tiefling.
Claus tries to calm Astrid with the blessings of Lathander. She refuses. Udaji bends over a little and pats Claus on the shoulder consolingly.
His player has difficulty articulating it (and honestly, who wouldn’t? Words are hard), but Matthias is legitimately upset to hear that his lover had died.
“You go up to her and give her a hug with a pat-pat?”
“She immediately starts sobbing in your arms.”
“I shed a single manly tear.”
Mountain has only just now caught up to the fact that these rogues know each other.
Astrid is now refusing to leave. Udaji is still the party baby.
“The only reason I was allowed out of town is because nobody could physically stop me.”
“Claus gives you a comforting pat on your hip, as that’s about as high as he can reach.”
After all that chaos, we were approached by a servant from the Rose family, calling us back to Lady Rose’s house.
Her name is now Ingrid Rose, because the DM forgot to name her until this very moment. Mood.
Matthias is still covered in egg.
Lady Rose admits that she thought the offer of marriage from Lord Bryant Hassan to her daughter was too good to be true.
She also admits that she thought the Lord had asked for a rather greedy amount of dowry with the proposal.
“Were any of my husband or daughter’s possessions recovered?”
Don’t look at Matthias. Don’t look at Matthias. Don’t look at Matthias.
Lady Rose asks us to look into the recovery of the enchanted lockbox that was carrying her daughter’s dowry, and offers to reward us for it.
She ALSO asks us to put a knife in the throat of whomever arranged her daughter’s death, should we find it to not, in fact, be a tragic accident.
Astrid is basically June from AtLA but without Nyla.
Everybody stocks up on rations for a long trip back to return Maxine Von Trikona’s books.
We get on the road back to Torrin, retracing the ill-fated Rose party’s steps as we go.
After two days on the road, we come across a seemingly wounded man on the side of the road, by an overturned cart.
He asks us for gold to get back on his feet.
Udaji immediately fell for it, and had to be physically stopped from reaching for her gold.
Miraculously, we all managed to avoid a bunch of mysterious projectiles and whistling noises.
Interestingly, both of the guard corpses we had ‘interviewed’ reported hearing a whistling noise before their death.
Mountain took an arrow to the horn, but only three points of damage.
We were all tired by this point and there were a lot of bandits so combat was looooooong.
Claus has two waiting Bardic Inspiration dice and is having a very good day.
“You’re going to shoot THROUGH your daughter and your cleric??”
ONE BANDIT DOWN!
I charged at a bandit, sword drawn, but couldn’t quite make it there in one turn, so I added an intimidating roar for good measure.
I rolled a nat 20, therefore proving that I inherited SOMEthing from my white dragon mother, and the bandit pissed himself.
THREE BANDITS DOWN!
I took 8 points of damage from the other bandits and it’s a good thing the DM had us level up at least once bc if I’d still had my lvl. 1 total of 9hp that damage would have damn near killed me.
“Ew, he’s got a skull face with horns! ...oh, wait, he’s just ugly nevermind.”
“If I cast the magic, but Matthias says the words, can we duet ‘Vicious Mockery’?”
“My mother [the white dragon] would be proud of that, and I’m not sure I’M proud of that.”
I stand corrected: Astrid is a ranger, not a rogue.
Dragonborn zoomies.
“I may be wearing a flower crown, but I’m still scary.”
I have now decided that there will be - at minimum - one fight where I take off my flower crown and force someone else in the party to hold it.
Probably Claus.
SIX BANDITS DOWN!
“Well, they identify as a corpse right now, so…”
We got distracted for another five minutes arguing about how useful Hawkeye was to the Avengers in the MCU vs. how useful Hawkeye was to Loki in the MCU, which spawned from the DM apologizing for her slowness in playing out Astrid’s turn, as she had never played a Ranger before because she thought they were useless.
Poor Hawkeye.
The bandit captain tried to ambush Astrid, hit her with one of two scimitars, and failed his dagger roll badly enough to stab himself.
Claus - incredibly inspired by Udaji’s music and heroics - saved Mountain from dying.
Udaji keeps rolling really well on attacks and damage...if only I could shuffle some of those over into Perception.
Astrid got the killing shot on the bandit captain.
I looted his body, and found (2) scimitars, tattered leather armor, the queen piece from a set of dragon chess, and (7) silver.
I took the chess piece, and nothing else.
Astrid found footprints leading back to the bandits’ camp, so we took over it for the night.
We leveled up! Woo!!!
Zone of Truth. Zone of TrUTH. ZONE OF TRUTH-
And College of Creation. This is gonna be fun!!!
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