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#bc i refuse to be normal about anything
midbyte · 2 years
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surprise jumpscare feral cat
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khlur · 8 months
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every time i talk w my parents i have to remind myself not to get swayed by their doting affectionate act.
#i mean see#becoming older has made me recognize and appreciate them for a lot of what they did#but to say that i am doing anything except lip service to them rn would be an exaggeration#our relationship has improved but i have made it clear that i never intend to live with them ever again#that the honeymoon period will last 2 days max#they'll cry their crocodile tears#and the emotional abuse will restart like it never stopped#that the physical abuse would have continued if i didn't threaten them by throwing chairs and a knife#like....these past few months have given me such fucking WHIPLASH#it almost makes me forget just how dysfunctional our dynamic has been#how i got away relatively well adjusted because i psychologied myself through clinical and counselling psych classes#how they refuse to take the blame absolutely for my brother's issues surfacing now in his adulthood#ever so often something so viscerally twisted will happen on a call or on the group chat which makes me want to hurt myself#and that serves as a wake up call abt how bad shit used to be#and how glad i am to be away from it all#but every few weeks i will be lulled back into thinking that maybe things weren't so bad#i'm also swayed so much by the people around me rn who hesitate so much to talk about anything that isn't small talk#either that or they're people who really love their parents and enjoy spending time with them#and i'm like....respectfully i cannot relate and neither can the bamboo rod that once broke in two bcs of how hard my parents wielded it <3#and ofc when families come up in conversation everyone acts like it's a normal thing for there to be ups and downs#w so much unsaid and implied about how i'm actually an ungrateful POS who can't appreciate their parents sacrificing so much for me#hehe. no thanks. keep ur judgement to urself
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dnangelic · 6 months
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what is the truth. schrodinger's normal abnormal boy
#i was going to write a meta but i deleted it all bc i got embarrassed and can't put woRDS TOGETHER IN A SMART/CLEAR WAY#RHGHHH#its in my brain though i swear#its just abt daisuke's juvenile sense of confusion#hes young. hes a lil lost! he goes along with his family's phantom thievery but he doesn't necessarily completely enjoy it#it's complicated. he truly genuinely from the bottom of his heart loves art. but he doesn't necessarily like the stealing aspect#and he'd never ever steal anything deeply precious to anyone. he refuses to hurt anyone's feelings#but also- he's a little out of touch with things too sometimes. he keeps convincing himself he's 'mostly' or 'sorta' or 'pretty much' norma#when hes NEARLY DIED PLENTY OF TIMES thanks to his training#nobody normal comes home to electric doorknobs pitfalls alligators rabid dogs and lasers#his whole family is literally a family of criminals! he has live artworks w bonkers powers in his basement!#his own weird pet rabbit can FLY AND TALK#ud think turning into dark he'd be like 'well this might as well just happen' but in a way dark rlly was the last straw for daisuke#and like. there's nothing normal about any of this oagbdkgfk ESP IN A MODERN AGE!!!#but daisuke a) is a little willfully ignorant of it and b) genuinely ignorant of anything outside of it. bc again. hes a kid!#he doesn't have a lot of friends! he's a loser!#satoshi bringing up the tamers' cycles too. dark and daiki both agreeing that even if things seem fine now#that in the future the niwa and hikari would fight again. the niwa would cause the hikari pain#over and over. daisuke can't stand it. everyone keeps trying to tell him that his life and future is fixed#but if it's not one he agrees with or wants for himself then he's going to reject it#and that goes double for people like satoshi who have to reject krad. their sorrow and pain#bc it doesn't actually produce any beneficial outcome. its just senseless#*・゚⊰ 𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐎𝐅 𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐃𝐒. ⊱ ✦ › OUT.
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kneworder · 6 months
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it really is so fucked up listening to hamilton again for the first time in literal years because it really is that good. like it's so good. fuck. god. i want to cringe so bad after the whole fandomizing founding fathers thing but unfortunately i was infected with musical theater disease at ages 7 and i still know all these words from when i was 14 and GOD these harmonies still go crazy. god. it's literally that good. fuck. lin lip bite or whatever.
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cream-and-tea · 2 years
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LAY ME DOWN. chapter thirteen excerpt. 293 words. unedited. featuring: fiver, meaning well, tries to talk to pallas about [REDACTED SPOILERS REDACTED] and it going… poorly. some very mild violence. pallas being possibly the most maladjusted person under the sun.
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“Are you trying to say,” they make their voice as cold as possible. Clench their fists to hide the shaking. “That it wasn’t my fault?” Fiver blinks. Once. Twice. “Oh. Oh god no. Nothing like that.” He takes a step forward. Pallas takes a step back and curses themself for allowing the weakness, for the fear bubbling like black tar in their throat. Fiver's voice is low and gentle and exhausted, like he’s trying to coax an injured animal, hissing and spitting, from under a cabinet. Every cell in their body sparks with buzzing fight-or-flight warning. Danger! Danger! Trap! “I’m saying that you’re a kid, and it was horrible,” in this light more than ever it’s clear just how much older he is. Pallas had never quite comprehended it before now. It had never mattered before now. “And I am so, so sorry.” Twenty-five is a whole universe away from seventeen. They hate him hate him hate him. They’re going to melt his eyes in their sockets. They’re going to make him bleed. Fiver takes another careful step forward, pausing to see whether Pallas flinches back or not. When they don’t his hand moves slowly through the air, as if to touch them. Pallas promptly bites it. Hard. When he starts backwards, swearing, they don’t even feel a flash of satisfaction.  Why did I do that? They could’ve just moved away. They could’ve just burst his heart and killed him here and now. But he’s torn something loose in them, something feral and small and scared. The space behind their eyes is burning and there’s no hiding the trembling now, the heart hammering frantically in their chest. They need to get out of here. They need to get out of here right now. 
short little thing from a scene i just finished! pour one out for fiver my man is trying SO fucking hard.
TAGLIST (ask to be +/-).  @vellichor-virgo​ @nicola-writes​ @doctormoss​ @gerbermatter​ @cactusprincewrites @dauntless-shadow-ice-1 @houndmouthed @muddshadow @aeipathys @just-wublrful @midnights-melodiverse @ramblingtaylorsversion
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bredforloyalty · 10 months
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woke up in a cold sweat after dreaming that rcg became infinitely more cringe
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Top 10 anime betrayals yesterday the bf was like ur hair is always frizzy can u do something about that 🫥🫥🫥🫥🫥🫥🫥
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grasslandgirl · 2 years
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Genuinely don’t know what noble pining is about but youve hyped it to the part that I want to read it when it drops
anon i hope you know ive been treasuring this in my askbox since you sent it in- it's both an honor and incredibly terrifying to think that there are people who are already excited for noble pining, despite the fact that i have neither finished writing nor started posting it skfjvskjfb it's a wip that is so special and dear to me and also something that's always felt like something of a pipe dream, given the subject and pairing of it isn't something that anyone's written before or shown any interest in lsfkjvnskfjbn!! it's also the longest thing ive ever written to date, and idk what i'n going to do with myself when i finally finish it- much less what im going to title it, because noble pining has always been intended just to be a working title skjfvnbsjkfvn
but for those interested parties ill give an overview of noble pining thus far: adaine/gorgug/fabian, fig/ayda, royalty au wherein adaine is a princess and gorgug and fabian are her guards, it's a non-dnd fantasy au (there is magic, but no dnd classes/tieflings/elves/etc), it's currently at around 80k words and I'm working on the fifteenth chapter, with loose plans for at least four or five more chapters on top of what ive already written 🤪
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rat-nest · 2 years
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The massacred my boy in the anime but im pretty sure that scene where tres pretends to be out of ammo to avoid following orders he felt were wrong and then immediately fires 300 bullets into an enemy rewired my brain
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transiconwilfred · 11 months
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im having more thoughts about that tmnt sweet toot au. i think Splinter (still Hamato Yoshi) and his wife were on an ill-timed trip to New York when the sick broke out, and they ended up sort of stranded because in an effort to contain the sick, no one was allowed in or out of the country. Tang Shen unfortunately caught it, and after her death, Splinter kinda just gave up on life and went to live in a cabin in the woods while quietly hoping the sick would claim him too. hes been out there alone for a while when he finds the turtles and they restore his will to live :)
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Desire to ask my brother Judaism questions out of nowhere after 2 weeks of radio silence bc of job nonsense vs knowledge that that's a super weird thing to do FIGHT
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theloveinc · 1 year
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hello i am neurodivergent and i apply it (project??) onto alot of characters but often i dont share these thoughts bc unfortunately as much as we may hope they dont tend to get received well among the wider audience bc ppl dont want their faves being "weird" but i feel like i see myself as someone who is neurodivergent in a lot of these characters so it is interesting to see when allistic/neurotypical ppl make the same observations!!
it's not projection hehe
yeah. i mentioned it a lil in my reblob but......... i truly think people who find it weird just don't understand it, whether that means they don't know anyone nd personally, or have never really bothered to educate themselves.
but (or and?).............. while this is most def a serious topic, it really just makes me want to ask ARE YOU DUMB LOL? because......... i see it, too. and maybe that's just bc i have tons of nd friends and am mentally ill myself (which i only mention bc i never know if nd covers mental illness)... but like. it seems so obvious!!! 
and also... not even like something that should be a big deal, either. your fave can still be your fave even if they're nd. truly, what's so difficult about understanding that? what really changes explain it to me. now.
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somehow i have reached enlightenment where i am free of anger. all it took is for my mom to be so so mad at my dad and everyone and everything else in the world all the time to do it
#like. my moms making a HUGE cake and a bunch of cupcakes for her coworkers husbands birthday or whatever#and i usually help her with baking bc we both really enjoy it#so yesterday we made all the frosting and i made soft pretzels bc we thought it would be fun to use to make the handle on the beer mug cake#instead of using gum paste so i made like 10 or so normal pretzels and two that we could try and use for that#so we all didnt want to cook dinner and left to pick something up. and when we come back i saw my dad had eaten one of the fucking#specifially shaped ones. i was like im not even dealing with this now im fucking hungry and ate#then after we were all done my mom finally saw and was like did you fucking eat the differently shaped one#and my dad was like lol yeah 🤪 and she was like we were fucking using that for the cake#and my dad isnt even like oh im so sorry or anything he literally just. oh lol if it makes you feel better i gave half to the dog 🤪🤪😋!!!#usually i would be so fucking angry bc /I/ was the one who made all the pretzels in the first place but my body was like no girl we have to#shield ourselves from how upset your moms about to be#anyways. my dad just came in to my room be like ughhhh should i make another batch. and i was like well you dont have to bc i made two#so i guess we can go with that and hes like ughhhhh no i guess i will so your mom wont be mad at me 🙄#im just. im just so fucking tired of my dad doing all this shit to either intentionally or unintentionally irritate me and my mom and then#acting like hes being fucking crucified bc EVERYONE IS AGAINST HIM!!!! when he refuses to apologize or even acknowledge that hes done#anything wrong. like i get nobody in this fucking family is good at talking abt anything but he just is so avoidant things have been piling#up for YEARS.#ugh. okay. done i guess i dont know im just so tired. i feel like i have to play fucking marriage therapist to these two bc he refuses to do#anything to try and make their lives not miserable
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belovaskitkat · 1 year
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ugh
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ddejavvu · 6 months
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What about spencer with a reader who is normally so independent and does everything for herself but she’s so soft for spencer and lets him dote on her and take care of her and the team is like :o bc they can’t believe she is letting someone do things for her
"I'm not a tyrant," Spencer's voice is inexhaustibly patient, and his fingers are slightly awkward as he holds them around his phone, angling it awkwardly so that you can see his upper half on face-time while he sits at his desk, "I just want you to take your medicine so that you can get better."
"I am better," You insist, your voice a far cry from its usual drawl. It's more ragged and weak, and you definitely have a stuffy nose, which indicates how untruthful your words are. Everyone knows it, most of the bullpen can hear your insistent griping, and they're beginning to feel bad for Spencer. They can't imagine how he'd gotten you to stay home today, but they're shooting each other knowing grins each time you push back against his gentle insistence.
"No, angel, you're not." Spencer croons, "You're on the mend, but you're not recovered yet. And you'll get worse if you don't take your meds. I put them on the nightstand for you, and some water. All you have to do is take them, and go back to sleep."
"I don't want to sleep!" You insist, and it's a whine- a whine! Emily's mouth splits in an incredulous grin, and a laugh threatens to tremble Derek's broad shoulders at how juvenile your attempts at protest have become. They're used to your biting words, your forceful demeanor, your inability to surrender any control, but Spencer's got you tucked into the covers begging for a kiss on the forehead.
"I've been sleeping all day, and I slept all day yesterday, and the day before that. I'm tired of sleeping. Just let me fill out some paperwork! Anything, Spence, please."
He chews on the inside of his cheek, ignoring the way that JJ giggles suspiciously with Penelope, who's leaning against the side of her desk, drawn out of her office for the spectacle.
"You can read," He relents, "And you can watch tv but only if you do it on your computer with the night light setting turned on," He narrows his eyes, taking on your rather rough persona to ensure that his orders are obeyed, "Promise?"
"Promise," You rasp, and the team can hear the smile in your voice, "Thanks, Spencer."
"Use the night light setting," He warns instead of accepting your thanks, "I'll check later to see if it's turned on!"
"Okay!" You laugh, and Spencer winces lightly as the sound morphs into a thick cough, "Okay, I'll- ah, I'll see you later, baby."
"See you later," He concedes with a fond smile, waving in addition to his verbal goodbyes, "Love you."
"Love you too," You promise, then end the call. Spencer feels the weight of everyone else's stares on him as he sets his seldom-used phone down and resumes working, refusing to acknowledge them unless they prod at him first.
"Good job, Spence," JJ congratulates, "I didn't think she'd ever take a sick day."
"I know," Emily gushes with bright eyes and a wild smile, "If I tried to tuck her in she'd probably bite me."
"Well, that's 'cause you don't have Pretty Boy's charm," Derek cracks, though the smile that he flashes Prentiss is reassurance that he's teasing Spencer more than he's teasing her, "Congrats on wearing the pants today, Reid. Enjoy it while it lasts, 'cause as soon as she's out of bed, she's taking the wheel again."
Spencer takes great pleasure in levelling Derek with a meaningful, "Shut up," because he's more than happy to be your passenger princess any day.
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