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androgynousartbaguette · 1 year

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Tim: Dandelions symbolize everything I want to be in life Steph: Fluffy and dead with a gust of wind? Jason: Unapologetic. Hard to kill. Feral, filled with sunlight, bright, beautiful in a way that the conventional and controlling hate but cannot ever fully destroy. Stubborn. Happy. Bastardous. Friends with bees. Highly disapproving of lawns. Full of wishes that will be carried far after I die. Tim: edible

#batfam incorrect quotes #incorrect batfamily quotes #batfam #batfamily #tim drake #stephanie brown #jason todd #batsiblings incorrect quotes #batsiblings #batkids #batbrats

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vodrae · 5 months

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Rich pregnant socialite: So we went to this clinic and let them manipulate our genes so we're 100% sure our child won't have any disease, he will have my hair and his father eyes and so much things we did for him! And you Bruce ?

Brucie: Found em in the trash. Except Tim, he found me in the trash.

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firerose18991 · 5 months

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Literally anyone meeting bruce and his family for the first time: So how did you get so many kids by 30?

Dick: HE WAS A TEENAGE DELINQUENT

Jason: *shouting over him* HE LEFT MY MOTHER AT THE ALTAR

*tim is sitting, just happy to be included*

Bruce: BE-quiet. They're ADOPTED!

Jason: *not a beat missed* Because he’s never known the touch of a woman.

#Enough on Tim #let's talk about why Bruce doesn't age #bro has three adult children 10 years younger than him #and HE WAS A HIGHSCHOOL DELINQUENT #bruce wayne #batfam headcanons #batsiblings #batboys #batkids #batdad #incorrect batfamily quotes #nightwing #red hood #tim drake #damian wayne #batman #justice league #chaos shit #with love my loves

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goodoldfashionedengineer · 1 month

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The only time when all the batkids will work together in perfect harmony is to prank Bruce.

And for the best prank all they needed was a few label makers.

Labels are put on everything.

On every mug, on every plate, on every bandaid package.

The chocolate bars are labeled "BatSnack".

The fruits become "Batana", "Batricot" and "Batermelon".

Every button on the microwave, every key on the keyboard, it all gets a label.

"Batstop button", "Batstart button", "Bat-A-key", Bat-Enter-key".

Bruce's desk isn't simply the "Batdesk". It is the "Batwood construction surface".

There is a label beneath the desk too.

Originally named "underside of Batwood construction surface".

It takes days, weeks, months to remove all the labels.

Until one day, when Bruce makes a few new installations in the cave.

Surely some higher being is laughing at him right now, Bruce thinks, as he pulls of the last one.

"Batceiling"

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incorrectbatfam · 6 months

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[at Jason's funeral]

Dick: *places his hand on the headstone and sobs*

Dick: How could you do this to me? We are so understaffed.

#source: tumblr #dick grayson #nightwing #jason todd #red hood #robin #batman #batfamily #batfam #batboys #batbros #batkids #batsiblings #batman family #incorrect batfamily quotes #incorrect quotes #incorrect dc quotes #dc comics #tw death mention

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nightwolf14292 · 5 days

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I like to imagine that if any of the Bat-Kids are out in public, whether they be getting food, shopping, patrolling, just walkin' around, whatever, that if they see the Bat-Signal pop on it's an unspoken rule between the siblings that they have to throw on their costume and try and find/deal with the trouble before Bruce gets there. Just to annoy him.

Batman: "Commissioner Gordon! I got here as fast as I could.. What's the situation?"

Commissioner Gordon: "Oh, Batman, thank you for coming.. It's alright, though, it's already been taken care of by these fellows."

*Gestures to the side where there's a couple of muggers sitting tied up next to Nightwing(He has pink, glittery shopping bags hanging all over his arms), Red Hood(He's rummaging through the bags Nightwing is holding, trying to find the black nail polish he just bought to touch up his nails after the fight), Red Robin(He's sipping a cup of coffee that he accidentally stole because he ran out of the cafe so quickly that he forgot to pay), and Robin(He's chowing down on a kids' meal from Bat-Burger)*

Batman: ...

Batman: *Subtle annoyed glare*

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dragonpyre · 1 month

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Jason: foster care is just government sanctioned kidnapping

Dick: wait no, you’re right

Tim: that’s why I made a fake uncle

Bruce, tired: no

#Batman #dc #Jason Todd #dick Grayson #Tim Drake #Bruce Wayne #batfamily #batkids #batbros #batsiblings #batfam #text post #incorrect quotes

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ryemiffie · 20 days

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More stuff from my day as batfam incorrect quotes:

Batman: I would never betray you!

Red hood, pointing at Tim: Then what's that?!

Tim: ...

Batman: A complication.

Red hood: A complication?! It's a child!

Batman: Well I see that!

Tim, talking to Jason: Oh you don't have to be offended, he doesn't know how I got here.

Red hood:

Batman: I don't!

Tim:

Red hood:

Batman: It's actually kinda unsettling, how did you get here?

Tim: I followed the voices.

Batman: Oh, I didn't realise we were being that loud.

Tim: No no, not your voices, the voices.

Red hood:

Batman:

Red hood: should we be worried or-

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shyjusticewarrior · 3 months

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Jason: As your favorite Robin-

Tim: Dick's my favorite Robin.

Jason: As your favorite Robin-

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leoleolovesdc · 5 months

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Jason [after a rough patrol with Damian]: Huh, that was fun! Wanna go for a drink?

Damian: Akhi, I’m 16

Jason: Wait, seriously?

Jason: Damn, I was convinced you were 12

#b4 anyone says anything im convinced jason wouldnt ever take a kid to drink #especially since both him and his mom struggled w addiction #this is js for the meme dont take it srsly #jason todd #damian wayne #incorrect quotes #incorrect batfamily quotes #batfam incorrect quotes #incorrect dc quotes #robin #red hood #batfam #batkids #batsiblings #bat siblings #bat kids #bat bros #bat brothers #batfamily

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youroriginalsublimecupcakestuff · 4 months

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Dick, at the police station: hi, i'm here for jason.

officer: last name?

Dick : .....ah. you must be new.

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androgynousartbaguette · 1 year

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Batfam Incorrect Quotes

Jason: Who the fuck added me to a fucking group chat?

Dick: >:O language

Damian: Yeah watch your fucking language

Tim: OKAY WHO TAUGHT Damian THE FUCK WORD?

Steph: 'The fuck word'

Duke: Are you stupid? You guys use the f word all the time

Jason: Oh my god they censored it

Steph: Say fuck, Dick.

Damian: Do it, Dick. Say fuck.

#batsiblings #robins #jason todd #dick grayson #damian al ghul #tim drake #stephanie brown #duke thomas #dc incorrect quotes #batsiblings incorrect quotes #dc #dc comics #dc headcanon #batkids #batfam incorrect quotes #batfam #batfamily

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vodrae · 2 months

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Jason: Man I was born in the wrong era

Barbara: Oh ? Where would you go ? Roman Empire ? Golden Age of pirates ?

Jason: Far West, when you'd be a hero by shooting bad guys.

Barbara: Jason !

Steph: Y'know, you ain't a tree. You can move. Kidnap rogues and kill them in countries without proper justice system.

Barbara: Stephanie !

Tim: Or you just could go to the no man's land in Yellowstone park or the four corners.

Barbara: Timothy !

Dick: Quite frankly if you drop Joker's body in Bludhaven we won't waste time on it.

Barbara: Richard !

Damian: There would be an investigation only if there is a body.

Barbara: Damian !

Cassandra: Cassandra !

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gothamundernightlight · 5 months

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Incorrect Batfam Quotes

Damian: Drake, I have need of your aid. My class is being forced to do a Secret Santa and I got the class bully. What should I get him?

Tim: Make him a Where’s Waldo book but photoshop Waldo out of every picture.

Damian: …

Dick: …

Jason: …

Jason: That’s cruel, but I love it! Do that!

Dick: Tim, didn’t you give me a Where’s Waldo book last year?

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goodoldfashionedengineer · 2 months

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Dick: *posts a video consisting of multiple clips to social media, in which Jason is seen sitting in a chair, reading something on his phone*

---

Jason: *widens his eyes and leans forward, gripping one of the chair arms*

Jason: No, the fuck, he didn't?!

Jason: That's not something he would say, but fine.

Jason: *blinks a few times* *looks up* *stares at his phone again* *blinks again* *raises his eyebrows*

Jason: *lies his phone aside, grips his hair while he paces around the room, clearly suppressing a scream*

Jason: I know I sometimes turn into a masochist when it comes to reading, but this is on a new level, even for me

---

Tim: *walks into the frame and takes Jason's phone away*

Jason: Give me back my pho-

Tim: YOU READ BATFAMILY ON AO3?!

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incorrectbatfam · 10 days

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Goon #1: Last night, Red Hood paid the boss a visit, and Robin picked up a grenade someone left on a crate, and let me tell you...

Goon #1: When Hood yelled “Put that shit back!” so loud, you know what I did?

Goon #2: You put your own shit back, didn’t you?

Goon #1: I put my own shit back.

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