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#batkids: oh so youre making EXCUSES now is that it??? we thought we raised you better than this
fanaticalthings · 2 years
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You know how siblings will pay each other to get the other to do something for them?
I bet the batkids do that with each other all the time, except the offers they make are absolute ass, yet the other sibling always accepts regardless of what they get in return.
But if BRUCE offers them something (usually money) to do something for him they always berate him for being cheap like "Oh, so you're a BILLIONAIRE and won't even pay your own children a living wage for us to complete this one simple task? For SHAME!"
Tim: I'll give you my left over fruit roll up if you write my 2000 word English paper for me.
Jason: Deal.
[Bruce seeing this exchange]
Bruce: I'll give you 100 doll-
Jason: Don't be stingy.
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bigskydreaming · 3 years
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Okay, so you know “Justice League meets Batman’s kids, who they’d previously been unaware existed” AUs?
So picture that.....but this time, instead of them just having no knowledge of any of these other Gotham vigilantes at all....the Batkids all migrate to various cities as they get older and become known as their protectors - Dick in Bludhaven, Tim in San Francisco, Cass in Hong Kong, etc....
Meaning they’re all established figures, the Justice League are aware of them as solo local heroes who stick to their cities and so they just don’t interact with them much if at all, or else some are members of team lineups but are particularly vague about their histories or life outside of the team’s adventures....
So the big reveal isn’t that they become aware of all these other Gotham vigilantes all at once....its that some big conflict or whatever requires a huge team up of all available heroes, and in the aftermath, they figure out that like.....despite being known as solo heroes who work alone or loners outside of their team settings, 80% of these heroes all not only seem to already know each other, they seem to be related.
And so naturally they all turn to Batman, who has profiles on every known hero and they thus figure had researched these individuals too and just never mentioned this little detail, and they’re like, “Did you know about this?”
And then Nightwing turns to him too, arms crossed and is like, “Yeah Dad, did you know about this?”
And the infamous Red Hood is all: “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I have never met any of these people before in my life. Lives? Whatever.”
And then Red Robin moodily grates out “I have no siblings.” Since he’s nursing a grudge since Dick and Jason broke into his apartment the night before and replaced all his custom Red Robin gear with Darkwing Duck merchandise and his vengeance will be swift and also totally disproportionate because things escalate quickly in this family, that’s true in every universe.
Cass meanwhile has deftly skewered Jason’s lie by walking over to him and brazenly patting down the man with many many guns with no fear whatsoever. He squawks and futilely attempts to bat her hands away as she riffles through his many pockets, but he doesn’t seem shocked, just annoyed. Eventually, she pulls away and triumphantly reveals a box of Hello Kitty themed band-aids.
“So these are yours then? Just for you?” Black Bat asks smugly. Red Hood squints at the box.
“What the fuck? How long have those been in my jacket? Why are those in my jacket? Did you freaking plant them in my jacket just on the offchance you could at some point in the distant future use them at my expense?”
Black Bat frowns, puzzled. “Yes?”
“Oh come on, Dead Hood,” Spoiler says with an exaggerated toss of her head meant to convey she’s rolling her eyes beneath her own mask. She skips her way across the room to Black Bat and then drapes herself languidly all over the smaller woman. Who in turn doesn’t so much as twitch beneath the sudden added mass as Spoiler holds out her hand towards the box of band-aids. 
“One please. I have a boo-boo,” she says with easy familiarity straight into the intimidating cowl of Black Bat. Only then does she deign to finish her train of thought with Red Hood.
“I mean seriously, are you saying you don’t have potential blackmail set-ups, pre-rigged releases of incriminating material, and a random assortment of traps, pratfalls and mortifying scenarios in place for the express purpose of being able to humiliate any and all of your siblings at any given moment, without any need for additional prep time?”
“Is this true, Little Wing?” Nightwing whirls on the larger Red Hood with a faux-scandalized gasp. The founder and leader of the Titans, formerly the Teen Titans, renowned for his stratagems and calm competence when directing squads of supers in the heat of battle while he keeps pace with nothing more than naturally acquired acrobatics and a utility belt that apparently uses the same technology as Wonder Woman’s invisible jet....now appears to be....staggering with the back of his hand pressed to his forehead, moaning about how he felt....faint? 
What is happening right now, several dozen superheroes want to know. Is this a drill? Are they supposed to be checking for signs of a mental ambush from undetected psychic saboteurs? Did they all hit their heads at the exact same time and are now experiencing some kind of shared mass concussion?
Look, that wouldn’t be the weirdest thing to ever happen on the Watchtower. 
“Have I failed you so utterly?” The veteran child hero bemoans with a dramatic twirl - that when contrasted with his stern demeanor of a mere ten minutes ago - makes the fears of telepathic infiltration seem less paranoia and more....concerningly probable. “Did you learn nothing from me? Did you learn nothing from B?”
He stops and jabs a finger up at the sky. “Quick, everyone! What is the very first rule of Living While Batty?”
As if by rote, over a half a dozen voices chime in from all over the room, causing various heroes to jump. Spooked by yet more and more vigilantes joining in some kind of mass recitation like they and they alone have some kind of clue what the hell is going on and everyone else just hadn’t been invited to the party. Which is just rude, honestly. Nobody likes feeling like they weren’t invited to the party. Not even superheroes. 
“If you’re not going to bother preparing for every possible contingency and at least six impossible ones, you might as well just stay in bed.”
Even the Red Hood joins in the Illuminati chant or Cub Scout pledge or demonic ritual or whatever the fuck that just was, though his slumped and exasperated posture gives away every hint of sulkiness his headgear otherwise would have kept safely hidden. He’s surprisingly more...expressive, than most who’d only known of him by reputation had expected him to be. The day continues to yield surprises.
“Of fucking course I do,” he growls out, snatching the box from Black Bat. She doesn’t even fight to hold onto it, just lets it go with a knowing smirk. “I wasn’t surprised by the idea of it, I was just surprised she bothered with such a weak effort. Like yeah whatever, actually those could be mine. I use those all the time at home. So what?”
He aggressively yanks one of the band-aids out of the box, fumbles with the peel-off strips with one hand and he roughly rolls up the sleeve of his jacket with the other. Then just slaps it on his forearm and raises said appendage high, showing it off this way and that. “See?”
“Oh yeah, for sure,” Signal drawls from the other side of the room, nodding his head approvingly. “Totally convincing. Nice job walking that one back, you really showed them.”
Red Hood’s head snaps in his direction with ominous intent. “Watch it, Day-Glo.”
Signal just snorts.
“Yeah, like I’m gonna take constructive criticism on my name and costume from a dude who’s spent the last several years calling himself Red HOOD while running around in a freaking HELMET.”
“Its not meant to be literal, you fucking pedant.”
“So wait, its not literally a helmet? Huh, does it at least protect your head literally, or just like...symbolically? Like if Bane were to clock you across the head, would your concussion just be a metaphor? What’s the treatment protocol for a metaphorical concussion? Fluids, bedrest and a philosophical prescription of two chapters of Chicken Soup for the Soul as needed?”
“Laugh it up, KC and the Sunshine Band,” Red Hood bats back. “You just got yourself disinvited from Thursday night’s poker game.”
Signal just grins and folds his arms over his chest cockily. “Please. You’ve been looking for an excuse to ban me for weeks, cuz you know until you can prove I’m using my ghost vision to cheat, you can’t actually bring suit against me for it in Family Court.”
“That, and also Family Court isn’t a real thing, you toddler. Stop validating Wing-a-ding-ding’s obsession with Shitty TV Nostalgia and just call it that thing where Oracle traps us all in a room until we settle our latest fight without anyone getting stabbed.”
“Yeah, but like, say that five times fast,” Spoiler pipes up. “Its just not practical. Family Court’s way easier.”
“Says the one who’s not even in our fucking family.”
“And yet I grace you all with my sublime presence anyway,” she blows a kiss at him, beatifically unbothered. “You’re welcome.”
The Red Hood scoffs and rounds on his heel, zeroing in on Batwoman in the far corner.
“Hey Auntie B, my siblings are all dead to me and I just helped stop an alien invasion so I deserve nice things like a fun Saturday night. Can you get me into Dad’s fundraiser so I can crash it? He won’t put me back on the list until I promise not to bring any C-4 with me and I won’t promise not to bring any C-4 because he should just trust me that I won’t when I say I’m not gonna and he won’t trust me that I won’t until I admit I shouldn’t have brought any to that sting last month where three tiny little yachts blew up through barely any fault of my own, and I’m just not gonna do that ever because I have convictions and I feel I shouldn’t have to be punished for that. Y’know?”
Batwoman blinks at him. “Kid, I’m not gonna lie to you. You’re my nephew and I love you, but I stopped listening three seconds into all that.”
“Ugh, fine. Can you help me crash Dad’s event tonight so I can teach him a lesson about why he should just trust me not to make a scene so I don’t have to always make a scene to make a point.”
“Tempting as you make that sound,” she says wryly, “I have a strict policy for dealing with you lot and your......everything. I only worry about tolerating one of you at a time, and there’s seven of you, and seven days in the week. You each get your own. You know perfectly well its Robin’s day today. You get me on Tuesday, just like always.”
“Auntie B, we’re not like other families, are we?” Red Robin’s delivery is sarcastically childish and his question clearly rhetorical. Most of his attention is fixated on whatever it is he’s doing with his wrist-mounted computer. 
“No sweetie, we’re all severely fucked in the head and a little bit too comfortable with that.”
“Just checking. Oh hey, Hood, I just emailed you a patch for the hole in your firewall I exploited when replacing all my shit using your accounts just now.”
“You did what?”
“Used your accounts to pay to replace all my stuff that you fucked with last night?” Red Robin says slowly. “Did you not realize that I’ve been sticking within ten feet of you for the past five minutes just so I could clone your devices and do all that while BB and Spoiler kept you distracted? I gotta say, bro, I feel like that’s on you then.”
Red Hood swivels his helmeted head in the direction of the aforementioned two. Black Bat waves. Spoiler shoots him an utterly unrepentant thumbs up.
“You’d side with your ex over me? That’s what its come to?”
“My only allegiance is to chaos,” Spoiler says brightly. Black Bat shrugs.
“Plus he bribes better.”
“Hateful,” Red Hood points at Black Bat, moving on to level the same finger at Spoiler, who curtsies in acknowledgment: “Hateful-er.”
Then the finger rounds the bases to aim judgmentally at Red Robin. “Hateful-est. And that was all Nightwing’s idea anyway, not mine.”
“Oh, I assumed as much,” he says casually. “Your idea of a prank tends to have more of a Carrie vibe. Or be a literal literary reenactment.”
“Its called an homage, 4chan.”
“Whatever, plagiarist. And anyway, I couldn’t go after ‘Wing for payback on this one. He used an Immunity card. If you didn’t want me getting back at you, you should have used one too."
Red Hood looms aggressively. Red Robin ignores willfully. Round and round they go. Superheroes who can survive excessive G-Forces are getting dizzy just watching them have a largely motionless stand-off. That shouldn’t be how that works, but whatever. All the most infamously reclusive and isolated heroes in all hero-dom are apparently part of the same one big reclusive and isolated family of fucked up weirdos and they’re all officially bonkers. Nothing makes sense anymore. Reality broke. Try another stall.
“Okay, but see, in order to have an Immunity card, I would have to participate in one of you losers’ stupid Immunity challenges,” the Red Hood drags out with exaggerated patience. “And I’m just not going to do that, on account of those all being fucking stupid. You see the problem there?”
Red Robin just shrugs. “I don’t know what to tell you, bro. You can have principles or you can have an Immunity card. You can’t have both.”
Meanwhile, on another side of....the same room.....look, its like, an octagonal room, probably. It has a lot of sides. Robin fends off questions from an aggrieved looking Superboy.
“You never told me you had a bajillion brothers and sisters!”
“Yes but I never said I didn’t either.”
Superboy rolls his eyes. “Oh yeah, so I should just assume everyone I meet has a bajillion secret brothers and sisters?”
“Well clearly it would have worked out in your favor in this instance if you had, now wouldn’t it?”
“Assuming of course that you can trust what has been said or implied here today and I am actually related to any of those numbskulls. Which I am not actually admitting to,” Robin tacks on hastily.
Superboy eyes him dubiously. “You joined in the same creepy chant all the others did and then got super self-conscious and looked around to see if anyone had noticed. Which uh. I did.”
“First off, your interpretation of body language is abyssmal. I do not get self-conscious,” Robin says with a delivery that probably could have benefited from being a little less self-conscious. “And second....that proves nothing. I guessed what they were going to say.”
“Word for word,” Superboy says super-skeptically.
“I’m very good at guessing things. You know this.”
“Okay. Guess how much I believe you right now then.”
Robin glares and folds his arms grumpily across his chest. 
“And what was that anyway? Was that like....you guys’ family motto or something like that?”
“Oh no,” Spoiler pipes up. “That’s much shorter.”
Superboy balks at that. “Wait, you guys actually have one of those for real?”
“Yup,” Steph says, counting out the words with her fingers. “He who laughs last....probably works for the Joker. So tranq him just to be safe. See? Only sixteen words. The first rule of Living While Batty is way longer, and what we said was just the abridged version. You should hear the original, before Black Bat put her foot down and refused to memorize it unless sizable edits were made.”
Superboy hovers between her and Robin now, both in mid-air and on the verge of taking Spoiler’s words as an invitation to hear just that. A low growl arises from Robin’s direction.
“Must you?” He asks the older vigilante, with a most put upon expression.
She looks at him pityingly. “Do you actually need me to answer that? Like, we’ve met, right? Hi, I’m Spoiler.”
“Wait, so Robin said that I just never specifically asked him if he had a bajillion brothers and sisters, and that’s why he didn’t tell me, so that means he wouldn’t have just lied and there’s not some code of secrecy that flat out forbids telling other people stuff, right?” Superboy realizes excitedly.
“Yes, excellent direction. Go on,” Spoiler says, steepling her fingers. Robin buries his face in the palm of one hand.
“Soooo, what other stuff could you tell me about Robin’s super top secret family that I wouldn’t think to ask about but that he would tell me about if I knew what questions to ask?”
She claps once, lightly but with emphasis. “Well done. You’ve passed the first barrier. Untold secrets await you behind just a few more.”
“I’ll get you for this,” Robin vows calmly. She waves a hand at him.
“Yeah, yeah. Just make sure you do it before January 1st, remember? You’ve promised retribution like ten times already this year and those don’t roll over, y’know. Rules are rules.”
“Enough!” Thunders a voice then, from the front of the room. Well one of the fronts anyway. Like sides, it has a lot of them, but this is the one where Batman’s standing. All eyes snap to him. Which is kinda just what eyes do when Batman says stuff like that. Its like his superpower, except he doesn’t actually have superpowers, which is what makes it scary. But where the snapping of the eyes (directional) is usually followed by Batman saying something else besides just “hey look at me,” here he pauses in the wake of his own call to attention’s waning reverberations. Uncharacteristically silent.
Not that, y’know, he’s normally Mr. Talkity Talk, but usually his silences feel like he has the words to fill them, he’s just withholding them. This though, this feels more like he doesn’t have any words at all. And he’s as confused by it as any of them, and most everyone else is confused by Batman being confused, and its this whole trickle down economy of confusion and its wrecking havoc on the value of the golden silence standard.
Of course, not everyone present is rendered spellbound with confusion.
“C’mon B,” Nightwing cajoles, leaning forward and practically radiating delight. “I think you know what you have to do now. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity. Its not likely to come around again.”
Red Hood snickers beneath his helmet and chimes in. “Yeah Pops, go ahead. You do this and you’ll actually have my respect for a whole twenty four hours. No, wait. Sixteen. No! Eight. Yeah, eight. Still a good deal.”
“Carpe diem, B,” Red Robin grins, leaning back as if to enjoy the show.
“Hey! Infringe on my trademark one more time, dude,” Signal throws a faux-glare at the former. Red Robin just quirks an eyebrow.
“And what, you’ll start saying Yum every time you eat a burger? Oh no. I’m hoist by my own petard.”
Signal flips him off with a grin and then redirects his attention back to Batman. “Yeah seriously though B, you kinda gotta do it now. Because if you don’t do it, then you’ll forever be the guy who didn’t do it, and you don’t want to be that guy, do you?”
“Yeah you really don’t want to be that guy,” Spoiler shouts out. “Nobody likes that guy. He’s the worst.”
“Do it, do it,” Black Bat starts chanting beside her, steadily picking up speed and volume. Several others start joining in. Even Robin appears to be slightly anticipatory, albeit trying very hard to hide it.
Batman sighs, and somehow everyone manages to hear it. Stills. Waits for....something? Nobody but them seems to have any clue what, but the air is thick and heavy with portentiousness. Something is about to happen, and all most of the heroes present could say for sure is it was something they never would have in a million years seen coming.
Finally, Batman straightens with the resigned air of a man about to have oh so many regrets. He crosses his arms, shakes his head, and in an absolute deadpan monotone, says:
“You are awful children. You know you’re killing me. You’re killing your father.”
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mischiefandspirits · 3 years
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Exploration
Sequel to Odd One Out
Alternate title: Five times the batkids' teammates didn't realize they have powers and one time their family already knew?
At the request of etherealizt on AO3
One ~ Oracle
Barbara sighed as she sunk further into the water, blowing a few bubbles away from her nose.
She was having a night of rest and relaxation. She’d told the Birds she was taking the night off and had threatened all the other bats with eternal rickrolling if any of them interrupted. The soft music Dinah had recommended was playing from her phone’s speakers on the counter and the lights were dimmed. She was trying out the strawberry and grapefruit bubble bar Carrie had made and had finally opened the rosé Bruce had gifted her when she’d moved into the Clock Tower. An Alfred-made meal was warming in the oven, courtesy of Jason paying her back a favor. After her bath, she’d eat dinner then watch some of the movies on Dick’s Babs Needs to See This!!!! playlist before heading to bed early.
It was meant to be a nice quiet night.
Which meant that whoever had decided to call her not ten minutes after she had lowered herself into the water and gotten comfortable was going to have some very annoying problems with their technology for the next week.
She gave the phone a good long glare before laying her head back and closing her eyes.
“This better be good,” she growled once she’d connected to her cell and answered the call on speakerphone.
“I know, I know, I’m so sorry,” Mari said quickly. “It’s just… we went on this mission -- just a quick in and out thing, or it was supposed to be -- and we thought we wouldn’t need your help, but we kind of do and now it’s too late to back out.”
Barbara sighed. “I was taking a bath.”
About five thousand miles away, Vixen flinched and looked at her fellow Birds. She mouthed, She’s taking a bath.
Canary flinched as well while Katana and Huntress shared a look and Question shifted guiltily. All five women had stayed at the Clock Tower before so they knew how Oracle preferred to take showers because of how arduous it was for her to get into the bath, even with the bath lift.
The times she actually got to take a bath were to be treasured.
“Shoot, I mean, we’ll handle it.”
“I’d hope you wouldn’t have called me if you could handle it,” Oracle joked.
“No. I mean, yeah, we didn’t interrupt your night lightly, but we’ll figure something out. We don’t want to ruin your b-”
“It’s fine. I’m already logging into my system. What are we looking at?”
She’s already logging in? But that means... Vixen slumped back against the wall she’d been standing in front of as she realized Oracle must have started getting out before she’d even picked up the phone. They’d ruined her night the moment Vixen had pressed call. Well, no reason to waste even more of her night.
The mission went fast with Oracle’s help and the team was out in just under half an hour. They all gave their thanks and apologized again for interrupting her night, but she waved it away before signing off.
“I still feel bad about ruining her bath. Maybe we should get her something to make up for it,” Dinah said as they were on their way home.
“Maybe we didn’t. She got on pretty quickly. She might have just had a tablet near the bath,” Helena suggested.
Renee shook her head. “She had too many things going at once. She couldn’t have managed it all with just one device.”
Tatsu smirked and chuckled, “Even the great Oracle could not handle such limitations. We'll all chip in to show our thanks.”
Back in Gotham, Barbara sunk a little further into the water with a pleased moan.
While it was a headache to manage an entire mission remotely, it was worth it to remain wrapped in the warm water and fruity scents. Thankfully it was just a short one this time, but maybe next time she’ll ask Tim to cover her in case of another emergency.
She started the music on her phone again then reached out to dry off her hand so she could finally grab her wine and start her night of relaxation.
Two ~ Nightwing
Green Arrow frowned as he watched the goon in the interview room. He, Batman, Hawkwoman, Flash, and Cyborg had picked the guy up the day before while trying to locate an experimental power core that had been stolen from S.T.A.R. Labs. They’d tracked the core to a shipping yard, but lost it there. Most of the yard’s crew were clean, but the manager was clearly on the take and knew something.
The only problem was that he wouldn’t talk.
They’d tried intimidation, logic, bribery, and charisma, but nothing had worked. Since Wonder Woman and Martian Manhunter were off-world and Zatanna was unreachable (something about alternate dimensions and a tiefling warlock’s pet eldritch book-dogs), that meant the lasso of truth, mind reading, and truth spells were out.
“There has to be some way we can get him to talk,” Vic said from where he was sitting on the floor next to Wally.
“I could get him to talk,” Shayera muttered, thumbing one of the spikes on her mace.
“No,” Bruce objected as he walked up.
“We’re running out of time.”
“I know, which is why I called for help.”
“Help?” Oliver asked.
“Me.”
Shayera and Oliver jumped and spun around to see Nightwing standing behind them, a wide impish grin on his face.
Fricking ninja bats!
“Oh heck yes!” Wally cheered before bending over in a coughing fit as he choked on the bite of sandwich that had been in his mouth, Vic patting his back.
Dick winked at his friends and looked through the two-way mirror. “Double-R filled me in. This is the guy giving you trouble?”
Bruce grunted.
“I think I’ll be able to take him,” Dick said, walking over to lean against his father. “I’m going to need to borrow Robin for a few days after this, though.”
Oliver swore he could see Bruce’s eyebrow raise beneath the cowl. “For a mission or fun?”
“I need someone small to help with an infiltration… and Jump Wildlife Park has a new Snakes of the Outback exhibit.”
Sighing, Bruce shook his head. “Robin’s benched for the next week, as I’m sure you know. He’s not getting out of it. You can take Catgirl if Catwoman doesn’t need her. I’ll allow a trip to the zoo, however.”
“I’ll take it.” Dick shot him finger guns as he backed towards the door. He then spun around on his heel, high-fived the now standing Wally and Vic, and skipped into the interrogation room. He dropped into the chair across the table from the goon, leaning it back so he could rest his feet on the table. “Hi, there, I’m Nightwing.”
The goon glared at him.
“No introductions then, alright. I’ll make this quick since I’m sure you want to get out of here and I’m currently in a game of hide-and-seek with some of the other bats and I’m not about to lose because B’s having an off day. You tell me what I want to know and I won't have to make you.”
The goon snorted. “Am I really supposed to be scared by that?”
Dick shrugged. “If I wanted to scare you I’d break your fingers. We can try that if you want.”
“The winged chick already offered and it didn’t scare me then either.” The man looked Nightwing over then gave a grin that Oliver was sure set off Batman’s dad mode, even if the man hadn’t responded in any visible way. “You’re welcome to try, though. At least you’re prettier than that bitch.”
Oliver grabbed Shayera’s shoulder when she stepped forward and Vic placed himself between her and the door without looking away from the mirror.
Dick hummed then dropped his legs. The chair fell back onto all fours and he followed the motion so he was leaning against the table, elbows on top with his hand clasped together to create a V that his chin rested on. “You think I’m pretty?”
Oliver blinked and focused his attention on Dick. His voice sounded… different. He couldn’t put his finger on what it was. It just sounded… nice.
Distantly, he was aware there was another voice talking as well.
What was it about Dick’s voice?
Suddenly Dick was standing up and patting the goon on the shoulder. “Thanks, you’ve been a big help.”
The goon nodded, blinking up at Dick in a daze.
Dick skipped back out of the room. “You got everything you need then?”
Did they? Crud, Oliver had zoned out of the entire interrogation. Bats was definitely going to tear him a new one.
Bruce grunted and Dick smiled. “You’re welcome. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to get lost before Batgirl bribes my location out of Double-R.”
And with that, the younger Bat was booking it down the hall.
“I’m going to write up a report on the interrogation. Review the footage and meet up in conference hall F so we can plan our next move,” Bruce said before marching off.
There was a moment of silence then Shayera asked, “What the hell was that?”
Vic rolled his eyes and Wally nodded, “It’s always a little distracting, we know.”
“Speak for yourself,” Vic snorted, elbowing the speedster. “The Titans call it Wing’s Milk and Honey voice. He barely ever uses it, but when he does, he always manages to get the information we need out of whoever we’re interrogating. It’s freaky.”
“It’s awesome. Just wish he’d talk to me in that voice.”
Vic glared at Wally. “I did not need to hear that.”
The speedster snickered.
“Did any of you catch what the goon in there actually said?” Oliver asked reluctantly and was relieved when both Shayera and Wally shook their heads.
Vic made a so-so motion. “I know he said he was working for Luthor and the core got moved to a warehouse just outside Metropolis, but the rest kind of got lost. Dick’s…”
“Distracting?” Wally suggested and Vic elbowed him again.
“Just listen to the recording. It gets easier the more you hear it. Kind of,” Vic suggested.
“Standard Milk and Honey protocol,” Wally said with a nod. “Dick’s just too charismatic for his own good.”
Before anything else could be said, Dick’s affronted yelp came echoing down the hall.
“At least when it’s not one of his siblings.”
Three ~ Red Robin and Batgirl
The Young Justice team had just gotten back from a mission. Bart, Kon, Jaime, and Tim were all resting in the lounge. Artemis had retreated to her room while Cassie and Kara had had to head home. Stephanie had been hanging out with the boys, but had disappeared a few minutes in.
Kon was asleep on the couch with his head resting on Tim’s lap. Tim, meanwhile, was working on a report, his laptop on the couch’s arm so as not to disturb Kon. Jaime was sitting on the coffee table in front of them and playing a video game on the main screen. Bart was curled up in an armchair off to the side, working through his post-mission meal.
A cymbal-banging monkey toy sitting on the shelves behind Bart slid forward a little.
The speedster turned at the noise and blinked at the unfamiliar toy. He shrugged it off and turned back to his food.
The monkey slid a little closer.
Bart turned around and frowned at the toy. He stared at it for a moment then slowly turned back around.
A minute went by, then the toy slid noticeably closer.
Bart spun around, jumping out of his seat and pointing at the toy. “I knew it!”
Tim and Jaime both turned to him, but the Kryptonian-strength earplugs did their job and Kon didn’t wake.
“What are you yelling about?” Tim asked.
“The monkey, it’s moving!”
Both boys looked between the monkey and their friend.
“You’re crazy,” Jaime said, turning back to his game.
“It is!”
“Did you see it move?” Tim asked.
“Well, no, but it’s not in the same spot!”
“Your eyes are probably just playing tricks on you. Maybe your blood sugar’s low or something. You haven’t eaten much yet,” the vigilante suggested before going back to his report.
“Like you’re one to talk about not eating,” Bart muttered as he grabbed his chair and turned it to face the self. “It moved! I’ll prove it!”
Bart didn’t take his eyes off the monkey for the next five minutes, even as he continued to eat.
Then his shadow reached out and tapped him on the shoulder before quickly returning to its proper place on the back of the chair.
He looked up and scowled when he didn’t see anyone. He returned his focus to the shelf, only to find himself nose to nose with the monkey just as it started banging its cymbals.
Bart bolted from the room, screaming about calling someone to come deal with the possessed toy.
Jaime glanced up, then shook his head and resumed playing his game.
A few seconds later Stephanie walked in, her magic bracelet on her wrist, and high-fived Tim.
Four ~ Black Bat and Signal
“Hey, Halo. Don’t turn on the lights.”
Violet paused in the doorway of the pitch-black warehouse, hand on the light switch. “Signal?”
“BB and I are here too,” Lia called.
“Looker? Why are you three sitting around in the dark?” ey called as ey carefully tried to make eir way towards the group by sound and memory.
“Looker and Signal are playing poker. The lights are off so Signal can’t cheat with his vision,” Cass explained.
“And yet the kid’s still cheating,” Lia huffed.
“I am not!” Duke said in an offended voice.
“How are you guys reading the cards?” Violet asked as eir hands finally touched the card table ey hoped the three were using for eir game. “And who’s sitting where?”
A hand came from eir left and brushed against eir arm. “I’m here. BB is next to me and Sig’s across from her. There’s a free seat across from me if you want to sit with us until BL gets here. Also, we’re using cards with braille. I can see the pictures and Sig can read braille so we’re all good.”
“You can read braille?”
“Batman.”
“Yeah, okay, that makes sense.” Violet slipped around the table and reached around until eir hand found the chair. As ey sat down, ey asked, “Is Signal even old enough to play?”
“Does this look like a casino? Who cares? It’s not like I’m sneaking him alcohol or cigarettes or anything,” Lia scoffed.
“Nightwing let me try a sip of beer once. It was awful,” Duke said.
She snorted. “Big Bro probably gave you the shi-bad stuff to scare you off.”
“You know, I patrol Gotham. I’ve heard all the swears before.”
“I am not getting caught swearing in front of Batman’s baby, thanks.”
“Robin and Catgirl are both younger than me!”
“CG is the Cat’s baby and Rob’s an assassin lovechild. You are the Bat's baby.”
Suddenly the room flooded with light, earning hisses, groans, and curses from the quartet.
“Why are you four playing cards in the dark?” Jefferson asked and the four saw him walking up to the table once they’d blinked the stars out of their eyes.
Violet could also now see that Cass was leaning against Lia with one of her arms stretched over the table to hold hands with her brother. The two let go, however, at their leader’s approach and Cass sat up. All three were suited up like Violet, though Cass’s mask was sitting on the table.
“We were playing cards," Lia said. "The dark was supposed to keep the kid from cheating. It didn’t work.”
“Whatever you say,” Duke snorted, gathering up his winnings. He sorted through it, then gave half to Cass.
“Why does she get half?”
Duke shrugged and Cass smiled. “Family helps each other out.”
Lia looked confused while Violet nodded slowly.
Jefferson just sighed. “Right… Well, get this cleaned up then we can discuss tonight’s mission.”
Five ~ Robin and Catgirl
Jon smiled at Goliath as he stroked the dragon bat’s ear. “Who’s the bestest dragon bat? You are! Yes, you are!”
“Bestest is not a word, Kent. Don’t teach Goliath bad grammar,” Damian tutted from where he was brushing Alfred the Cat.
“Gee Damian! How come your dad lets you get so many cool pets?” Kathy asked from where she was laying on Bat-Cow’s back. “I mean, the cow, dog, and cat are normal, -”
“Normal for farm girls, at least,” Colin chirped from where he was scratching Titus’s belly.
“- but the dragon bat’s insane! And now you’ve got a tiger too! Is there anything your dad won’t let you have?”
“Tiger?” Jon, Colin, and Damian all asked and Kathy pointed off to the side where Maya was slowly approaching the Malayan tiger cub that was stretched out on a large pillow and watching the girl through half-lidded eyes.
“That’s Kelley,” Damian said blankly.
“Aw, you named her after your sister?” Jon said, grinning widely at his best friend.
His best friend scowled at him in return. “She is not my sister.”
“I mean, your dad married her mom. That kind of makes her your sister,” Colin shot back and the scowl was turned on him.
“Does she accept pets or am I about to get my arm ripped off?” Maya asked softly as she sidestepped a little closer to the tiger in a crouch.
“Why would you wait this long to ask?” Kathy huffed.
“Kelley couldn’t rip your arm off if she wanted to,” Damian scoffed and turned back to his brushing.
Like she could understand him, the tiger’s head whipped towards him and she bared her teeth. With a low growl, she shifted onto her feet. Alfred realized what was happening as the tiger started bounding towards the bird-themed vigilante and jumped off Damian’s lap just before he was crushed under a juvenile tiger.
“Get off me! Get off me right now or I will skin you and use your pelt as a rug!” Damian snarled.
Jon considered helping his friend, but the tiger wasn’t doing anything more than licking his hair now that she had him pinned. After a quick use of x-ray vision proved that Damian didn’t actually have any weapons on him for once, Jon decided to leave the older boy to his pet and focus back on Goliath.
“KELLEY!”
“You’re the bestest dragon bat in the world, aren’t you? Yes, you are! Yes, you are!”
Plus One ~ Jason
Bruce scowled as he typed away at the computer.
The mission was supposed to be an easy one. Just a quick in and out. But they had gotten just one wrong piece of misinformation and now most of Bruce’s children were lying in the Batcave boasting some form of injury.
Worst of all, Bruce hadn’t been there. He and Selina had been on a date night across the city at the insistence of all the children.
The father paused in his typing to glance around the cave.
Carrie was lying on her pillow in tiger form. Either Tim or Duke had managed to slip a cone around her neck since the last time he’d checked on the kids. Considering the lack of shouting, snarling, growling, or baby roars, Bruce was assuming she was humoring the cone for now. Normally he’d make the boys take it off since it impaired her vision too much for comfort in the cave, but she wouldn’t be running around for a few days and the cone would remind her not to lick at her stitches, something she occasionally forgot while in tiger form.
Speaking of the boys, Bruce could see the cocoon of shadows Tim had wrapped them in on one of the larger infirmary cots. The shadows were meant to help with Tim’s concussion while providing Duke with the darkness he needed to get to sleep. A flaw with Duke’s powers was that it was hard for him to get to sleep in anything but the darkest of rooms, especially after an adrenaline-heavy mission got his photosensitivity at its peak. Normally they’d send him up to rest in his room since Bruce had installed special black-out windows for just this occasion, but Alfred wanted him to remain hooked up to an EKG machine overnight due to an electrical shock he’d received during the mission.
Dick and Damian were on the training mats, though Bruce only knew the former because of the thin, whip-like tail poking out from the mass of feathers to wrap gently around Dick’s leg brace. Otherwise, his youngest was completely hidden within his eldest's wings, bundled up against Dick’s chest to keep the boy from attempting to “train” his recently relocated shoulder “back to form.”
Stephanie was nowhere to be seen, though Damian assured them she’d returned home with the group and the occasional nudging of Bruce’s mug towards the edge of the desk confirmed it. Her bracelet sat next to Bruce, the focusing stone in need of replacement. Thankfully he’d thought ahead and had extras on hand so he’d just need to bring the bracelet to a jeweler friend in the morning to have it set properly.
Cass was curled up in one chair at the meeting table with her legs resting on another as she nibbled at a sandwich with one hand and held an ice pack to her bruised ribs with the other. Her eyes had been closed and she’d looked half-asleep when he’d first looked, but as the sound of a motorcycle reached them through the tunnels, her head perked up.
Bruce turned as his second-eldest arrived. Jason parked the bike and climbed off before pulling his helmet off and looking around. He whistled.
“How’d your mission with the Outlaws go?” Bruce asked.
“Better than the mission these idiots went on, apparently.”
“We got some faulty information. You hurt?”
“Nah. Kory, Artemis, and Biz got to have all the fun this time. Roy and I played sniper. What’s -”
Jason cut off as a black form leaped onto his back. Cass quickly wrapped her arms and legs around him before he could toss her off. Nuzzling into his neck, she cooed, “Big brother!”
“Hey, do I look like a horse!” He huffed, tugging at her arms and legs. Suddenly there was a bird in his place, with a plump body and long legs and neck. He flapped his wings and shook, but Cass had anticipated the change and shifted her grip to compensate.
Bruce smiled at the two, knowing Jason was just putting on a show of being annoyed. It was obvious by the fact he didn’t simply change into pure flames so she’d have nothing to hold onto and the way the feathers around Cass’s chest were alight, the flames rising up to brush against where the ice pack had been resting before.
Phoenixes couldn’t actually heal as some stories stated, but their flames could promote healing and ward off infection. Most importantly, though, they could soothe pains. And despite all his huffing and puffing, Jason hated seeing the people he cared about in pain.
The young man gave one last gentle shake before hissing and stomping off to his and Dick’s nest. He lowered himself down and Cass rolled off his back. She moved around to his front and leaned against the edge of the nest while he draped his neck over her chest. As she began to carefully brush her fingers through the burning feathers on his neck, the feathers on his back lit up once more. From where he was, Bruce could just barely see the faint traces of Stephanie’s face in the flames.
At the same time, Carrie yawned and carefully climbed to her feet before shuffling over and into the nest. She nudged the cone into Jason’s side until he stretched out a wing for her to curl up under.
A moment later, the shadows rose on Jason’s other side and he draped his other wing over them with a click.
Smiling at his children’s antics, Bruce double-checked that Tim had left the shadows open for the EKG machine’s wires then went back to his report.
By the time he looked up again a half-hour later, the ball of near-black feathers had relocated to under Jason's fantail and phoenix flames were covering the whole nest in soothing warmth.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Cookie to anyone who actually gets the book-dog reference at the beginning of Dick's part because I've been spending too much time on Youtube.
Funny story about Halo: I was looking up different characters that have been on the Outsiders team to put with Duke and Cass since I accidentally put Katana with the Birds before realizing she's the only other member of their team besides Black Lightning and didn't want her to show up in two parts (I've decided she runs with both teams in this universe). I decided on Looker because she seemed cool then was reading up on Halo. I remembered the character from clips of Young Justice animated and thought they were cool. I wasn't too surprised to see the original character didn't wear a hijab, but I was surprised that Wikipedia uses they/them pronouns for the part talking about YJA's Halo post becoming Halo. I thought the character was nonbinary until I checked the YJA wiki for something and saw it uses only she/her pronouns. I'm pretty sure that means Wikipedia's just being weird, but I decided to make Halo bigender anyways so she uses she/ey pronouns in this universe.
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queerbutstillhere · 4 years
Note
Hi, honey!! I'm back on Tumblr hohoiii 😆 If you still accept prompts can I ask you for: Damian and Jonno's children (a boy and a girl, God knows why😶) are sent to the past and met their daddys who are recently dating. ((Please, make it extremely awkward, some Batfam too)) tysm😙
(Once again, thank ya for giving me a chance to work with these kiddos! I hope you like this!!)
The portal dumped them out in the middle of the air. Because of course it did.
The two screaming kid vigilantes grabbed at each other as they plumpted through the air. Zaina willed her fluctuating powers to kick in, and sure enough, the adrenaline caused the surge and she snatched her brother out of the air, slowing their fall.
"Oof! You're heavy!" She exclaimed, scowling down at him.
"I am not!" The younger teen, built like a rugby player, said with a scowl.
"Yes you are!"
She looked around, flying to the nearby roof and touching down on it, she "gently" dropped her brother to the graveled roof of the tall building.
"Where are we?" Malik asked, popping up and looking around.
"Ummm."
He was already activating his lenses, which were glowing blue now. He looked around, turning a full circle.
"I think we're in Gotham," Zaina asked, walking to the edge and looking down.
"Really? Did he just teleport us away."
"... No, look."
Zaina pointed across the street to billboard on the side of a building, one that had Bruce Wayne, and something about Wayne Industries.
"Oh my God," Malik exclaimed. "Sis. I think we were sent back in time."
Zaina and Malik Wayne-Kent were the children of Damian Wayne and Jon Kent, they had been adopted at 5 and 3, respectively, and had lived with their parents for thirteen years now. Both were born Arabic, but had met Jon during a crisis in their Homeland, their mother having been killed in it, and Jon took very quick steps to make sure the kids were okay, and not long after, he and Damian decided to adopt them.
Zaina was eighteen now, and yet still shorter then her brother. She was only 5'5", and fairly muscular from having done gymnastics almost her whole life. Her black hair was cut short in a shoulder length bob, and she had darker skin like her father. She had, a few months ago, been exposed to platinum kryptonite, and had thus gained the powers of Superman. Only they were still on the fritz. It made her wince to remember the weeks when her hearing was changing, and when her eyes evolved. The good news was she didn't need glasses. Her father had wanted to take them away, but Zaina had begged and begged and made full persuasive essays and finally convinced him to allow her a trial period.
Malik was only sixteen and but he was tall, and broad in the shoulders. He played lacrosse and worked out and ran and all those things, and yes, he was in a rugby league. He was already a hottie at sixteen, and Zaina could not count the amount of girls she had chased away from her brother. His dark hair, more brown then black, was kept short, shaved on the sides and just a little bit of fluff on top. He had no powers, just his wicked sharp intellect and skills with technology.
They had both become teen vigilantes a few years back, having adopted adaptations of some of the previous heroes in their family line. Zaina had become Robin, with a bit of a twist on the uniform, it was more solid black, with splashed of color here and there, her boots, her belt, her cape, her gloves. So on. Soon she probably would switch to a Super title when her powers fully developed. Malik had made his own name, Batboy, until he felt he had earned the Batman title from his father. His costume was a lot like the Black Bat costume, and his cowl didn't completely cover his head, just came up his neck and around his eyes, his hair sticking out the top, and the classic bat ears poking up from the sides.
Their parents had both stepped down from their vigilante rolls for the most part while they were raising the kids, but when the siblings had started sneaking out, they decided to pick the rolls back up so they could properly train them, and watch their backs until they were ready to go out. It's doubtful they ever thought this would happen.....
Their game plan was simple. Find Batman or one of their uncles. Explain. Get taken back to the batcave, and then to the Watchtower so Waverider or someone can send them back to their time.
They split up after Malik resynced their comms, going to opposite ends of the town. Zaina was flying, scanning the streets, listening for the sounds of her family. And then, as it tends to do, her powers just gave out. She screamed as she started falling, scrambling for her grapple gun, which Malik wisely made her keep. And then she landed on something with a small thunk.
"Hey there, you better slow down a bit, shouldn't jump without a grapple in hand."
She recognized that voice. It was a bit younger, a bit more innocent and lively, but she recognized it all the same. She twisted in her savior's arms, looking up at Superboy.
"Pops!" She exclaimed joyfully, throwing her arms around his neck and hugging him tightly.
She probably shouldn't have done that.
Jon chuckled nervously, keeping his hold on her.
"I think you have me mistaken for someone else..."
"Oh. . . No. It's a long story, we need to find ba- Robin, or errrrr....." She paused, considering how she should do this. "What year is it?"
"2019?"
"Okay. We need to find Robin."
".... Who are you?"
"I'm also Robin, but from the future."
Malik had similar luck. He had been poking around the narrows, secretly hoping to find Red Hood, when the screaming hit him. His sensors started going crazy seconds before he could hear it, and then he took off, running through the streets and weaving between cars and signs to reach the source.
He burst around the corner and found a full on gang street fight going down, a couple kids stuck in the middle.
"Hey!" He yelled, his voice projected slightly by his tech.
A couple people paused and turned to him. He grabbed his Bo staff, fully expanding it and hitting a button to send electrical currents through it.
"Back away from the kids."
One of them scoffed, stepping forwards.
"It's one of them batkids. Soak 'em, boys."
Malik easily knocked out the first two, flipping off the third to get back out of range of their bats and knuckles.
"Oh ho! He thinks he's hot shit!"
More thugs rushed at him, but Malik was used to this, he easily beat them all down. Until one got behind him, arms wrapping around his upper arms and squeezing. Another grabbed his Bo at the insulated section, preventing him from hitting anyone.
Then there was a thump and the person behind him let go. Malik reared forwards, headbutting the person in front of him. He judo flipped them quickly before turning back to find the kids. They were huddled against the wall. He took a running start and flipped over some thugs, ducking past others until he was at the kids. There were three total, two younger ones, and a teen, not much younger then him.
"Hi," he said with a smile, smacking another thug with his bo. "I'm going to get you children out of here okay?"
They nodded rapidly. Malik considered his options and then looked at the oldest.
"I need you to carry the smaller one."
She nodded, quickly getting him on her back piggyback style. Malik picked up the other kid the same way. Then he produced his grapple and aimed for the roof. Once it was hooked, he put away his baton, and grabbed the girl with his free arm. They quickly were yanked up and swung over the crowd of gang members to the end of the Street, where it was clear and safe. His shoulder complained greatly, but it was fine.
When he landed, set down the kids and turned around, everyone was gone. Except a vigilante. Robin. His baba.
He recognized his father instantly, having seen enough pictures to know, even with the significant difference.
"Oh thank God."
Robin eyed him warily.
"Who are you."
"I think we best wait for-"
His sensors beeped in annoyance at the detection of two Kryptonian's. He turned and found his sister and a much younger version of his pops landing, Zaina on Jon's back.
"Sis! Are you okay?!" He exclaimed, ditching Damian to run to her. She jumped off and ran over, meeting him and grabbing his face, scanning him over.
"I'm fine! I heard all the fighting!"
"I'm okay, did your powers give out again?"
"Yes! I was up four stories and they dropped and-"
"I told you not to get that high!" Malik protested.
"Hey! Don't lecture me!" Zaina glanced to the side and froze. "You found Baba?"
"Yeah."
"Are we going to tell them?"
"What else do you have in mind?"
"Doesn't that break time travel rules?"
Malik gave his sister an annoyed face.
"No- God, that's not- no, Z, no."
"Excuse me. We have questions," Jon said, stepping up.
"Police are almost here," Malik shot back, the lenses of his mask slightly blue. "We'll talk after."
After they cleared things up with the police, they headed to the batcave, and Malik immediately felt more relaxed in the familiar, yet older interior. He didn't hesitate to pull his mask off, looking around, noting the differences.
"Robin what is this?"
He glanced over to see Batman and immediately went still.
Bruce had died with they were young, they had barely gotten to know him, and Malik especially had very few memories of him... Zaina, on the other hand, gave a sob like noise and smacked her hand over her mouth. Everyone looked at her, confused.
"I'm sorry," she said softly, composing herself. She too reached up and took her mask off.
"You would like an explanation?" Malik questioned, even as he tapped at the screen attached into his glove.
"We would," Damian responded, eyeing him warily.
"I'm Malik Wayne-Kent, this is my sister, Zaina Wayne-Kent, and we're from the future."
Silence hung over the cave after his words and Damian looked thoroughly shocked.
"I'm sorry," Jon said, speaking up. "Did you say, Wayne-Kent?"
"Yes."
Damian opened his mouth, shut it once, and then spoke. "Please tell me you are Drake's children?"
"Afraid not," Zaina said with a head shake. "You're our baba."
There was another several beats of silence, and then Bruce seemed to put two and two together.
"And your other parent is..... Jon?"
Malik nodded. "Pops."
"Which makes me your grandfather."
Another nod from Zaina.
"You're kidding me. If you're joking right now I'll-" Damian clenched his jaw and looked up at Jon.
"Wait, are you two.... What half of 2019 is this?" Malik asked. "Have you not started dating yet?"
Bruce opened his mouth, looking at his son, and then back at his future grandchildren.
"Oh, dear," Zaina said softly, leaning into her brother. "I don't think they have."
"Oops."
"Wait so you're telling me we get married?!" Jon exclaimed, shocked.
"Uh, well in our timeline you do. When we got spit out here, we created a separate time line from ours."
"And. She . . . She has powers," Jon said, pointing at Zaina.
"I was given them by Platinum kryptonite," Zaina explained. "You wanted to take them away, baba, but I managed to convince you otherwise."
"Sounds like something you'd do," Jon said, nudging Damian.
"Shush, Jon, this is important. We have to get them back to their timeline before we change anything else accidentally."
Bruce was sitting there in silence and then he looked to his son.
"Damian. Are you two dating?"
Damian winced slightly. "Just a few weeks ago...."
"... Okay. I'm going to go prep the jet. We'll head to the watchtower."
The four watched him walk away. Then Zaina looked at Damian.
"It's really odd seeing you guys do young," she said, smiling lightly.
"I imagine so... We really let you two be vigilantes?"
"You didn't really have a choice. I hacked into the cave and then we snuck out every night until you decided to just train us."
Damian and Jon didn't quite know what to do with their children, just kinda awkwardly looked at them.
Malik finally turned and walked away, over to the dino. "Man, this thing is so old."
"Okay, you young pup," Zaina said with a laugh, following after.
"So whose all what in this time line?" Zaina asked, looking over to Damian and Jon, who were whispering softly.
"Pardon?" Damian asked in a cold tone she wasn't used too.
"Uncle Dickie, he's.... Nightwing?"
Jon nodded, his arm was around Damian now.
"Dick's Nightwing, Jason is Red Hood. Cass is Black Bat, Barbara is Batgirl slash Oracle, Steph is Spoiler, and Tim is .... Drake," their pops explained. "Obviously we're Superboy and Robin, and Bruce is Batman."
"Bruce is dead in your timeline isn't he?" Damian asked, walking away from Jon and torwards them.
They exchanged a look, and then Malik nodded.
"There was an accident.... No one could stop it. I'm sorry," he said softly.
Damian shook his head, gently hugging Malik.
"No. I'm sorry. How old were you?"
"I was only five, Zaina was eight."
"I remember him more then Malik," Zaina offered, looking sad now.
Malik, hugging his baba back, looked up to Jon, who looked contemplative.
"But, again, we accidentally changed your time line, so that may not happen. Just like you two may not get married, and you may not adopt us."
"... As far as I'm concerned those seem like fixed points in time," Jon said.
Damian sighed and pulled back, giving Jon a look, and then he hugged Zaina.
"Who am I? In your time?"
"First and foremost your our dad," she answered. "But you're also a businessman and Batman. Once Malik is old enough, you're going to give him Batman."
Damian nodded as he considered this, but went silent, stepping back to stand next to Jon.
They had a very awkward flight to the Watchtower, Zaina and Jon quietly chatting about their powers, and what Zaina had developed so far. Malik sat next to Damian, silently working on his tech, as always. He was obsessive about keeping it updated, always changing the programing. Some of his features didn't work due to the lack of connection to the Wayne Satellites of the future, but enough of them did that he could still preform scans, bouncing off nearby cell phone towers.
"What's that?" Damian asked, watching him tap at the screen on his forearm.
"It's my control panel."
"For what?"
"My OTL."
"What."
"It's. . . Optical lenses in my mask, look."
Malik held it up, flicked on the blue lenses and then turned, looking at Zaina. On his screen, a digital display of a file popped up.
"I can also do this."
He triple tapped it and it was projected up into a hologram.
"Oh."
Zaina leaned forwards, arms on her brothers shoulders. "Malik's a genius. He programs all his tech himself. Even uncle Tim and Aunt Babs can't keep up with him."
Malik flushed, looking down. "I just like programming."
"You'd never guess it, from his public appearance, but he'd a major nerd. Jock Nerd type."
"Okay Prep Jock, shut your mouth."
Zaina giggled.
"So, what are you two's vigilante names?" Bruce asked from the cockpit.
"I'm Robin," Zaina answered, looking up to her grandfather. "But pops and I have agreed once my powers and are more consistent, I'm going to take up another name, Supergirl or something."
"And I'm Batboy, for now."
Bruce nodded slightly.
"I know you guys have a lot of questions, but I am afraid we won't be able to answer some of them," Malik said. "There's somethings I don't dare mess with, timeline wise."
"We understand," Bruce answered. "this isn't our first time messing with time travel."
The rest of the flight was awkward silence. They got to the watchtower and confused everyone they talked to.
"Where's Waverider?" Bruce asked J'onn, who was on duty at that moment.
"He has not been around for several-"
There was a burst of sparks and then suddenly Waverider appeared in front of them. He gave Malik and Zaina a startled look. They waved.
"You two are much bigger," he remarked.
"Well, that's what happens when you aren't hoping around the time stream," Zaina said with a grin.
"Your father's are probably waiting for you," he said, walking over to them. "Let's go."
"Wait!" Zaina backed away, and then spun to Bruce. "I know you don't know me. But... Can I just give you a hug?"
Bruce chuckled and nodded, opening his arms. "Come here."
She ran over, crashing into his body, hugging him tightly. Bruce gently hugged her, rubbing her back.
"It's okay, I don't know what happens, but I understand," Bruce said softly, kissing her head.
"I love you, grandpa," she murmured softly.
"And I can not wait to meet you again, little one."
Zaina pulled away, reaching up and adjusting her mask. Bruce looked to Malik and held open his arms. Malik immediately gave in and ran over, hugging him. They exchanged no words, just hugged. And then Malik stepped back, and Waverider grabbed onto both of them.
"Goodbye, and thank you," Zaina said to the younger versions of their fathers.
"Bye! Be safe!" Jon said with a grin.
And then they were gone.
They appeared back in their time, right in front of their fathers at the batcave. Damian jolted slightly, and then raised an eyebrow.
"Waverider?"
"Hey, Damian. Jon."
"What's up?" Jon asked, setting down his cup of tea.
"Oh, not much, found your kids in 2019. Figured you might like them back."
"Indeed we would."
"Well, see you around."
Waverider disappeared again. Malik sighed and pulled off his mask, walking forwards and hugging his baba.
"It's been a weird day, and I'm ready for bed. Good night baba, good night pops. I love you," Malik said, heading towards the locker room.
"Love you too, kiddo," Jon called after him.
They looked at Zaina. "So what happened?"
"I'll explain over some hot cocoa and smores."
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gobydana · 5 years
Text
The Vet Part 3
A/N: Next part of the Vet. Bruce’s kids trying to help out, much to his displeasure. 
Catch up here: The Vet Part One, Part Two
After a long night of dealing with the stakeout gone wrong, Bruce was ready to head to bed. FIrst he had to make sure Duke and Jason were okay and getting the stake out patrol written. Turns  out Duke was right in that the drugs might come earlier. Next time he was letting him lead.
After making sure everyone was headed to bed or to their respective apartments, he trudge upstairs. As he almost reached the sweet salvation that was his bed, his phone rang. Clark needed him to help with some league items. It happened to be the same day as Alfred the cat’s check up appointment. Well so much for seeing Dr. Y/N again he thought as he plopped onto the bed and fell asleep.
Dick volunteered to take Damian and his cat to the vet while Bruce was off on a meeting. On the way out he joked that he didn’t want to trade Bruce places. Bruce suspected he was using this chance for a day out with his little brother. With both of them in their respective hero activities, they didn’t get as much time together.
After a long, unnecessary meeting, Bruce headed back to the cave from the Tower. He was mumbling on the way up the stairs that the meeting was not needed. A simple email would have worked and Clark knew that. At this point he didn’t have a lot of time before patrol. Dick texted him asking if Nightwing could make an appearance tonight.
He got upstairs to see Dick and Damian with Batburger leftovers. Both were chatting about some video game. He could guess where they were disappearing to next. Apparently there was a two player game they had been trying to beat for the last two months when they saw each other. He cleared his throat to let them know he was there.
“How did the appointment go.” Bruce inquired while grabbing some leftover salmon and rice.
“Good. Alfred is a good kitty.” Dick replied.
Damian nodded. “Also I have invited Dr. Y/N to the gala. After all, you said this gala was to honor those who help animals. They has done well in that category.”
“Some of their collages are coming too.” Dick added in. “It was good seeing them again. Great vet.”
He almost choked on the food he was eating. Bruce couldn’t help but agree. Yet now he was nervous about the upcoming gala. It was his son idea, to raise money to help the local animal shelter and those who helped those animals. It also seemed now he might get some time to talk them. Why did that make him so nervous?
“You are coming to this one, right B?” Dick inquired.
“Yes, I am hosting it after all.” He replied.
“That has never stopped you before.” Damian remarked.
Bruce just hummed in response. The boys headed towards the media room to play their games until patrol. He was lost in his thoughts that at least he would get to see them. Suddenly, remember that Clark was suppose to be the reporter for that gala. Last thing he needed was one of the league's worst gossipers spreading unneeded rumors. Maybe he could ask Lois to cover it instead.  Not normally her reports, but she wouldn’t be snooping in his life.
Thankfully that night was as normal as it could get for patrol in Gotham. Dick teamed up with Damian. It kept Dick from being chatty over the comns. Bruce was once again on his own for his side of town. His children weren’t as chatty on the comns compared to a normal night. Times like this reminding him that they didn’t need him as much. The days of one of the robins next to side almost over.
After patrol, when the others headed their own way, Dick stayed back. He had the half grin that gave away his thinking. He wanted to know something and was going to find out whether Bruce wanted to tell or not. It appeared he was in a good mood, which meant it wasn’t something Bruce had done wrong.
“What is it Dick.” Bruce said as he watched his oldest approach.
“Oh Dr. Y/N was just telling us how Batman helped her the other week. Getting kittens out of behind a dumpster.” He said while smiling.
“Yes. Someone tried mugging them. I was doing my duty.”
“Mmmm hmmm. The kittens are healthy and same with momma cat in case you are wondering.” Dick said.
“Did she tell Damian about the kittens.” Bruce inquired.
“Oh yes. He wants to make sure that someone takes care of them. Dr. Y/N said they were staying with them until they were grown. Warning now, I think he is plotting on taking once they are old enough.”
“I will warn Alfred to watch his backpack. Now was it before or after they mentioned Batman that you gave Damian the idea to invite them.”
“I have no idea what you are talking about. It was done out of gratitude for all they have done for the pets in this family. Amazing skills and should be consider top of Gotham’s vets.”
“Sure.” Bruce said as he headed towards the shower.
“Please make sure to actually come to this gala and stay most of the time. I can take on Batman duties if needed that night.”
“Oh, Alfred didn’t tell you? You are marked as coming to the gala.” He said with his signature smirk.
“You don’t play fair old man. I wonder if Clark is coming. He is usually fun.”
As Bruce headed out of the cave, he texted Lois. It was decided now, he did not need Clark and Dick both there teaming up. 
The night of the gala finally came. Bruce was in a designer tux looking every bit the billion playboy. An imagine that was currently ruined by trying to get his children in line. Cass was in a black dress with a drop back and Stephanie in a dark purple, full length with silver accents. She was helping Tim with his tie as he was muttering ideas for the latest case. Duke was asking if he could have computer duty or even clean the batcave. He must have thought he had a winning idea since he was only in a tshirt and dress pants. His last argument was that Barbara got to miss for patrol, why shouldn’t he.
Jason wasn’t even dressed. Just sitting in a chair reading a book while informing Duke it would never work. Dick was actually dressed and helping Damian who was insisting that his pets should be able to come. Alfred was downstairs checking all the last minute ideas. Harper was commenting that she got in her tux quicker then the boys, while also tossing gummy bears at Cass who was catching in them in her mouth. Time like this made Bruce miss his days of getting dress and going. Now he got bigger headaches and a losing battle.
Once the ever growing family was as put together as they were going to get, they headed towards the main room. Since this was Damian’s idea for the charity, he took over some of the invites. Among the usual Gotham socialites were the top of the animal medical community. He made sure to greet everyone, but truth was he kept looking for one particular person.
Finally, he found them looking stunning. To him, they were the most beautiful person in the room. He started to make his way towards them to be stopped by Lois Lane. She had been trying to find him since he owed her for covering tonights report.
“Good evening Bruce.” She greeted.
“Thank you for coming.” He replied.
“No problem, just remember to hold up your end of the deal.” She pointly said.
“I have already arranged with Alfred to have Jon come over next weekend so that you can cover the UN assembly.” He stated.
“Perfect. Also I am assuming the reason that you didn’t want Clark here, might be  the person Dick and Jason are talking to?” She said while directing his attention towards Y/N.
“Yes, now if you excuse me for a moment.” He said.
Lois waved him off as she made a point to find some of the animal experts to talk to. She could not deal with the socialites at the moment. She couldn’t help but let out a giggle as she saw Bruce’s panic face upon seeing the boys talking to Y/N. The poor man didn’t stand a chance with his children.
“So Bruce is chasing Ace around the house, trying to get him to drop the socks in his mouth. It wasn’t working as Ace was diving under tables.” Jason was saying as Bruce came up to the group, already modified.
“How is it going?” He stated while coming up behind Jason and putting his hand on his shoulder.
“Wonderful.” Jason said with a devilish smile. Dick must have informed him about Y/N.
“We were actually going to grab a drink.” Dick stated while steering Jason in the directions of the bar. Bruce silently hoping they remembered they had patrol tonight.
“Having a good time.” He asked nervously.
“Oh yes. Finally getting to catch up with colleagues. Sometimes I get way too busy for that. Though last I saw Dr. Hans he was explaining to someone the best type of dog to get for young kids.” Y/N said with a small laugh. A laugh Bruce wanted to hear more of.
“Would you care to dance?” He asked while holding out his hand.
“I’d love to.” Y/N replied.
The two of them made their way to the dance floor. The first minute was awkward as they tried to come up with something to talk about. Bruce decided to ask what they liked to do in their spare time. They went into a discussion on favorite movies. They were a movie buff to challenge Bruce. Soon the discussion turned to their love of helping animals. For the first time in a while, Bruce found a genuine smile staying on his face.
They had a few more dances together. Y/N was a wonderful dancer. One of the best he had the joys of dancing with. He was actually getting to enjoy the gala for once. Both talking about everything they could. The conversation flowing easy. He didn’t even bother to put on his Brucie persona for the night.
His and Y/N time came to an end as Kate Kane came up behind him. A slight tap on the shoulder and reminder he was needed for tonight’s speech. She then went back to dancing with her girlfriend. As she went back to dance, she gave a wink to the batkids who had been gathered in a area so they could watch Bruce.
“I am sorry, got to go play host.” Bruce said.
“Have fun. Glad I don’t have that job.” Y/N joked.
“I don’t blame you. Before I go, ummm next week, would you like to grab lunch?” Bruce asked as his heart rate increased.
“Let me check my schedule, but I would love to.” Y/N replied with a smile.
“Just let me know.” He said while going towards the stage were an impatient Damian was waiting.
As he left, he heard them say they would call him. It hit him then as he walked on stage which number they had. He was going to inform Alfred that no one minus him and Alfred were answering the phone. Especially since a few of his children were a little too good at sounding like him. With that he turned towards the audience, ready for next week to come. 
Tagging: @superwhoteen​ @the-shadow-of-atlantis​ @fuckbuckyyy​
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chimaerakitten · 7 years
Text
Blackberries
About a week ago, @komadoriwonder requested the batkids+blackberries. I finally wrote it.
AO3
“Why is it so hooooooooooot?” Dick complained from his place on the kitchen floor.
“It’s summer.” Tim replied from somewhere Dick couldn’t see. “And didn’t the circus winter in Florida?”
Dick rolled over so he could look Tim in the eye. “Tell me you aren’t more effected by this than me.”
Tim did look way worse than Dick did. For someone who practically lived in layered sweatshirts with the sleeves cut off, he really couldn’t take heat. His T-Shirt was soaked through with sweat and he’d pulled his hair into the saddest bun possible to keep it off his neck.
“No,” Tim said. “But I—“He pulled open one of the kitchen drawers to punctuate. “—Am going to do something about it.”
Dick sat up fast when he saw that Tim was taking a spoon out of the drawer. “Tim, don’t. That ice cream is Damian’s.”
Tim hummed as he pulled the gallon of ice cream out of the freezer. “I’ll just blame it on Jason.”
“Jason’s not even here today.”
“Wait for it.”
That same second there was the sound of the door slamming open and boots stomping through the foyer.
“TIM!” Jason yelled.
“KITCHEN!” Tim yelled back, making Dick wince.
Jason stomped into the kitchen. “Where’d you put it?”
Jason was, of course, still wearing his trademark leather jacket, despite the 100-degree heat.
Dick wrinkled his nose “How are you still wearing that?”
Jason shot him a look of pure distain, though he did begin removing the coat. “Because I came here on a motorcycle?”
“…Fair.”
“ANYWAY.” Jason whirled back to Tim. “Where’d you put it?”
Tim rolled his eyes, pulling open the ice cream container. “Where do you think?”
Jason growled.
“In the cave! Jeeze.”
Dick looked from Tim to Jason. “What did you do?”
“Why do you assume always assume I did something?”
Tim cleared his throat. “Actually Dick, It was me his time. I accidentally took his grapple home with me after the stakeout last night.”
“Oh,” Dick said, lowering himself back to the floor, “Okay.”
Jason looked down at him. “Why are you on the floor.”
“Becaush itsch howt.” Tim said, around a mouthful of ice cream.
“What?”
“It’s hot.” Dick explained.
“You do realize,” Jason said slowly, “That you have an entire cave underneath this house that never gets above sixty degrees even in the summer.”
“Brusch banned usch.”
“Since when have you listened to what he says?” Jason asked, indignant.
“To hot to fight him.” Dick explained.
Jason shook his head. “You guys are pathetic. I’m leaving before you infect me.”
“Rude.”
Jason was almost out the kitchen door when it slammed open again. “Grayson!” Damian shouted, stepping smoothly around Jason.
“Damian.” Dick replied smoothly. Or as smoothly as he could, lying on the floor in a pool of his own sweat.
Damian stomped over (what was with everyone and their stomping today?) until he was standing next to Dick’s head. “Cain is missing.”
Dick smiled. “I think she’s in the wine cellar. It’s a little cooler in there.”
Damian huffed. “Why are you all so pathetic.”
“See!” Jason exclaimed, pointing at Damian. “He gets it!”
Damian side-eyed Jason. “And now Todd is here being ridiculous as well.”
“Don’t lump me in with them!”
“Oh, hey!” Dick sat up. “That reminds me!”
“Oh no.” Tim said, having surreptitiously snuck Damian’s ice cream back in the freezer when no one was looking. “Nothing good begins with Dick saying ‘that reminds me’.”
Dick glared. “That reminds me that the blackberries in the back of the property are ripe and Alfred wants to make a cobbler.”
“And why does Todd being here remind you of that?”
“Because,” Dick said, standing up. “Someone needs to pick the blackberries first.”
“Oh hell no, I’m not getting any more lacerations.” Jason said. “I’m out.”
“You are wearing a leather jacket.” Tim observed. “You really have no excuse.”
“He’s right, Jay.”
Jason whirled on Tim. “You’re a horrible little sadist, you know that?”
“I try.”
“And I can tell Damian that you were just eating his ice cream.”
“Drake!”
One fight, a collection of Cass out of the wine cellar, and a trip to the cave for protective gear later, and everyone was tromping through the underbrush at the back of the property to get to the blackberry patch.
While the others walked ahead, Dick lagged behind to guide Tim, who had been laden with Tupperware of various sizes and couldn’t see his feet.
“Watch out for those roots.”
“You could just take half of these off me, you know. I could see then.” Tim said, picking his way around the roots.
Dick grinned. “Where’s the fun in that?”
Tim just rolled his eyes.
“GRAYSON!”
Dick sighed, scooping half the containers off of Tim’s stack. “We better go see what that’s about.”
They met up with the others at the end of the row of blackberries.
“TT, I thought you would never catch up.”
Dick smiled. “I was just helping Timmy with the containers.”
Damian huffed. He painted a comical picture, standing in the underbrush wearing his Robin boots and gloves over civies.
Dick ruffled his hair, turning to the rest of the group. “Alright, we need a plan of attack.”
Tim rolled his eyes. “Dick, it’s blackberry picking, not fighting Darkseid.”
Jason looked contemplative. “No, he’s right, we need to be able to do this quickly.”
“And without pain.” Cass chimed in.
“That too.”
Dick clapped his hands together. “Alright, so. Jason and Damian are wearing the most protective gear, so it’s their job to get the ones farther back in the bush. Cass, you can get on my shoulders to reach the high-up ones. Tim can get all the easy to reach ones.”
“How come I’m on the cushy job?”
“Because Cass has better balance.”
“I can lend you my jacket and you can work with the demon brat.” Jason offered.
“I’m not working with Drake!”
At the exact same moment, Tim said, “Hell no, Jason. That jacket reeks.”
“Rude.”
“Anyway.” Dick said, trying to get the conversation back on track. “Everyone grab a container. Let’s get picking.”
Twenty minutes later, the plan seemed to be working. The only one with lacerations seemed to be Tim (his cry of “Ouch!” rang out every minute or two when he overestimated his reach) and Damian’s picking method of stomping his way into the bush and grabbing every blackberry in sight had already filled an entire container. Jason and Cass both seemed to be following the “Two in mouth, one in bucket” rule, but at least it kept Jason from laughing at Tim whenever the younger boy hurt himself again.
“Hey Cass, you mind if I put you down for a second? This is starting to hurt.”
Rather than reply, Cass stood up on his shoulders and then back flipped off, landing without so much as a sound.
“Showoff!” Tim called.
Cass stuck her tongue out at him, and then turned to Dick. “Now your turn.”
“What?”
“Your turn to be on my soulders.”
Dick scratched the back of his head. “I dunno Cass, I’m a lot heavier than you.”
Cass shook her head. “I can handle it.”
“If you’re sure.”
She spun around so he could climb up on her shoulders. Despite his fears, she seemed unbothered by the weight.
Dick had filled the tub halfway before Cass spoke again.
“I’ve never done this before.”
Dick looked down. “You haven’t?”
Cass shook her head. “Never had the time.”
And of course David Cain wouldn’t have allowed it when she was a child.
Dick grinned. “Well you’ve been missing out. I used to do this all the time with the circus. We stopped in big open fields usually, and there were always blackberries around. We never made cobbler because that required an oven and the one in our trailer rarely worked, but we made blackberry syrup all the time. My dad would serve it over pancakes on the mornings of big performances.”
Cass hummed. “Sounds… sweet.”
Dick wasn’t sure if she meant the family tradition or the syrup itself. “It was.”
“I wonder—“
Whatever Cass was going to say was interrupted by a high-pitched, childish shriek down the row from them.
Climbing down from Cass’s shoulders, Dick’s immediate thought was that Damian must have been hurt, but Damian wasn’t much of a shrieker, which meant it was probably Tim.
So Dick was surprised when he got down to the other end of the row to find both boys unharmed and standing calmly a few feet away from the brambles.
“What happened!? Are you both okay?” Then something occurred to him. “And where’s Jason?”
That was when the bush started cussing Dick out.
He turned around, confused, to find Jason, a full five feet into the bush, sunken down so that hos eyes were at Dick’s chest level.
“What happened?” Dick asked.
Tim laughed. “He stepped into the bush and then he screamed.”
Jason glared. “There’s a drop off here!”
“So why are you still in there?” Dick asked.
“If you haven’t noticed, I’m completely surrounded with thorns! And unlike the rest of me, my face doesn’t have armor on it!”
“TT. I advised you to wear the helmet.”
Cass appeared next to Tim. “Like one of Ivy’s traps.”
Jason glared at each of them in turn. “Someone help me get out of here.”
“You’re pretty far in there.” Dick observed. “We might have to get the machete and cut back the vines back a bit.”
“Dick I swear to god, if you swing a machete at me I will shoot you.”
Dick snorted. “You don’t have a gun on you.”
Jason raised an eyebrow.
“There’s no way you have a gun on you.”
“Do you really want to risk it?”
Nobody replied to that.
“Someone had better get me out of here now or I’ll shoot all of you.”
Dick looked around. “Well Damian’s the most heavily armored, so if he goes in and grabs Jason’s arms the rest of us can pull both of them out.”
“Dick, This seems like a terrible plan.” Tim said.
“For once, I agree with Tim.” Jason added. “This seems like a great way to get shredded by thorns.”
“Well I don’t see anyone coming up with a better plan.”
“Actually, I’ve got one.” Tim said.
Everyone looked at him.
“WE send Damian in first, like you said. He pulls the vines away from Jason’s face, and we get like, a big stick or something, and we pull Jason out with that.”
“Okay,” Dick admitted, “That is a better plan, but we need a branch or something.”
“Got it.” Cass said, and Dick spun around to see that she had somehow already retrieved a branch of the appropriate size.
“That was fast.” Dick said, impressed.
Tim snorted. “It was like three feet behind her.”
Cass stuck her tongue out at him.
“Alright then. Damian, you’re up.”
Damian slunk into the bush, carefully pulling vines away from Jason’s face.
“Brat, if you get me scratched on purpose I’ll—“
“TT. You’ll what Todd, shoot me? How original.”
Jason fumed silently.
“You good there, Damian?” Dick asked.
Once Damian had most of the vines gathered up in his hands, he slid sideways into the bush, being mindful of the drop off. “I believe so.”
“Alright then,” Dick said, “Cass?”
“Wait!” Jason yelled. “I still have a tub of berries in here.”
Dick reached into the bush, carefully taking the tub Jason handed up. It was heavier than he expected, and he almost dropped it. “How many did you pick?” he asked, incredulous.
“What can I say? I want cobbler.”
Dick stepped back, placing Jason’s tub with everyone else’s.
“Ok Cass, we’re good to go.”
Cass passed on end of the branch into the bush, and Jason grabbed hold of it. Tim stepped close to the bush and grabbed the middle of the branch.
“I know Cass is strong and all, but I doubt the two of you are going to be able to do this on your own.”
Tim rolled his eyes. “Quit stalling and go.”
“Fine.” Jason switched his grip on the branch.
Dick started to count down. “Three. Two. One— Everyone pull!”
Tim and Cass dug in their heels while Jason heaved himself up along the branch and Damian pressed himself even farther into the side of the bush. Unfortunately they’d overestimated the amount of strength necessary to manage the task, because Jason got out of the hole easily, but stumbled forward and knocked Tim and Cass backward into Dick. All four off then tumbled over on a tangle of limbs.
For a moment, they all just laid on the ground, out of breath.
“Well that was something.” Dick said.
Jason groaned. “I think Damian missed one near my neck. Something stings.”
“Actually Jason,” Tim laughed nervously, “I think that was me. I haven’t clipped my fingernails in a while.”
Jason sat up. “What the fuck, Tim.”
“Language!” Cass and Dick said at the same time.
“Okay, first of all, the two of you swear more than I do—“ Jason started.
Damian stepped out of the bush. “ That is false, Todd, and you know it.”
Jason got to his feet. “You know Dick censors himself around you, right?”
Damian looked at Dick. “Grayson?”
Dick smiled in apology. “Sorry, Lil D.”
“TT. You are aware that I’ve heard worse than you could ever say.”
Tim sat up too. “I dunno Damian, Dick can be a pretty creative swearer.”
“Blackberries.” Cassandra reminded them all.
Tim hefted Jason’s container. “Actually Cass, I think we might have enough for like, four cobblers.”
Dick sat up, doing a mental tally of all the containers. “Yeah I think we do.”
“Finally.” Jason said. “Alfred’s cobbler will make hanging out with all of you idiots worth it.”
Dick rolled his eyes. “C’mon guys. Let’s eat.”
Of course, there were two attempted stabbings in the hour and a half before the cobbler was done, but that was one attempted stabbing down from last week, so Dick counted the afternoon as a win.
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