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butwhyduh · 2 years

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Jason: why aren’t you going to college??

Tim: what does it matter to you? Dick flunked out and you never went.

Jason: the fuck I didn’t. I have my bachelors in literature.

Tim:…

Bruce: you do?!? You do 🥺?

#Jason todd #Tim drake #Bruce Wayne #dick Grayson #red hood #Red Robin #robin #nightwing #batman #incorrect batman quotes #batboy incorrect quote #incorrect batfam quotes

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91-1lover · 1 month

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What if Damian and Tim love each other and even like? It's just more of a situation "Manipulating others is easier ". Maybe an example will help;

Damian: Father, May I go to Zoo today?

Bruce:No Damian, you're grounded.

Tim:Oh, that's bad. I could go with you to take photos of otter, but if you are not going I think I will stay too. What's a zoo without company. Maybe I will go with Kon next week.

Bruce *Super happy in a moment of thinking his youngest kids getting along*: If you two agree not to kill each other, Damian can go

Tim and Damian:*Knowing looks*

Or situation like;

Tim who has abandoned issues and is having fear of people leaving him: Dick is mad at me. Can you stab me so he will be in his mother hen mode Instead?

Damian who would like to have 5 minutes of peace from Grayson: Say no more

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yjcorefourenjoyer · 3 months

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AU that the batkids are all serious and bat-like ONLY WHEN BATMAN ISN’T AROUND

Like when they’re on their own team/out of Gotham? Most respected, calm and serious person there. They have a plan and it will work. “Oh yeah I memorized all the exits and people here the second I entered, you didn’t?” That’s them.

But in Gotham w/ Batman? Pranks galore and singing on patrol, they forget to sleep and forget to eat. When Batman tells them their gonna have a longer patrol they all sigh and complain while trying to give other siblings their work in exchange for doing that sibling’s chore.

But nobody knows that they act like that!! Batman would say something like

“Gosh my kids blew something up I have to go,”

AND EVERYONE WHOSE EVER MET THEM IS ALL CONFUSED LIKE “BUT THEIR A BAT?!?! HUH??!”

and Batman would respond

“Oh yeah you know them, always doing something their not supposed to”

JL: “NO?!”

#Batman #dick grayson #Jason todd #tim drake #damian wayne #cassandra cain #batkids #batboys #batman au #dc comics #batfam #batfamily #justice league #incorrect dc quotes #incorrect batfam

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batfamilycannons · 2 months

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Bruce *storming in, burnt and covered in ash*: Where is your brother?

Damian and Tim: tf??

Tim: uh I think Jason’s in the library?

Bruce: no not him the other one

Dick, *scurries past the door*

Bruce: RICHARD JOHN GRAYSON why did you set my bed on fire

Dick: You deserve it!!

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goodoldfashionedengineer · 2 months

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Dick: *posts a video consisting of multiple clips to social media, in which Jason is seen sitting in a chair, reading something on his phone*

---

Jason: *widens his eyes and leans forward, gripping one of the chair arms*

Jason: No, the fuck, he didn't?!

Jason: That's not something he would say, but fine.

Jason: *blinks a few times* *looks up* *stares at his phone again* *blinks again* *raises his eyebrows*

Jason: *lies his phone aside, grips his hair while he paces around the room, clearly suppressing a scream*

Jason: I know I sometimes turn into a masochist when it comes to reading, but this is on a new level, even for me

---

Tim: *walks into the frame and takes Jason's phone away*

Jason: Give me back my pho-

Tim: YOU READ BATFAMILY ON AO3?!

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firerose18991 · 6 months

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Literally anyone meeting bruce and his family for the first time: So how did you get so many kids by 30?

Dick: HE WAS A TEENAGE DELINQUENT

Jason: *shouting over him* HE LEFT MY MOTHER AT THE ALTAR

*tim is sitting, just happy to be included*

Bruce: BE-quiet. They're ADOPTED!

Jason: *not a beat missed* Because he’s never known the touch of a woman.

#Enough on Tim #let's talk about why Bruce doesn't age #bro has three adult children 10 years younger than him #and HE WAS A HIGHSCHOOL DELINQUENT #bruce wayne #batfam headcanons #batsiblings #batboys #batkids #batdad #incorrect batfamily quotes #nightwing #red hood #tim drake #damian wayne #batman #justice league #chaos shit #with love my loves

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incorrectbatfam · 7 months

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[at Jason's funeral]

Dick: *places his hand on the headstone and sobs*

Dick: How could you do this to me? We are so understaffed.

#source: tumblr #dick grayson #nightwing #jason todd #red hood #robin #batman #batfamily #batfam #batboys #batbros #batkids #batsiblings #batman family #incorrect batfamily quotes #incorrect quotes #incorrect dc quotes #dc comics #tw death mention

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nightwolf14292 · 10 days

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I like to imagine that if any of the Bat-Kids are out in public, whether they be getting food, shopping, patrolling, just walkin' around, whatever, that if they see the Bat-Signal pop on it's an unspoken rule between the siblings that they have to throw on their costume and try and find/deal with the trouble before Bruce gets there. Just to annoy him.

Batman: "Commissioner Gordon! I got here as fast as I could.. What's the situation?"

Commissioner Gordon: "Oh, Batman, thank you for coming.. It's alright, though, it's already been taken care of by these fellows."

*Gestures to the side where there's a couple of muggers sitting tied up next to Nightwing(He has pink, glittery shopping bags hanging all over his arms), Red Hood(He's rummaging through the bags Nightwing is holding, trying to find the black nail polish he just bought to touch up his nails after the fight), Red Robin(He's sipping a cup of coffee that he accidentally stole because he ran out of the cafe so quickly that he forgot to pay), and Robin(He's chowing down on a kids' meal from Bat-Burger)*

Batman: ...

Batman: *Subtle annoyed glare*

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sodamnbored · 18 days

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Damian, entering the living room: Oh, Drake. I didn’t realise you were here too.

Tim, distracted on his phone on the couch: Yeah, best WiFi around. Keeping busy?

Damian, looking in cupboards and chandeliers for acrobatic older brothers: Looking for Dick.

Tim absently, not looking up from Grindr: Mm, me too.

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theaceofarrows · 2 months

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Jason: You know how you're all always going on about how Dick is the "best, nicest, most responsible older brother"?

Tim: Vaguely

Steph: Sorta

Damian: Tt

Duke: Ehh

Cass: [nods]

Jason: Well, I call bullshit. He wasn't like that almost a decade ago with me. He was an asshole

Dick: [sputters] I'll admit I wasn't completely thrilled about you at first, but name one time I was irresponsible with you

Jason: That time you were teaching me how to use the trapeze while Bruce was out of town, and I fractured my wrist

Dick: Yeah? And I took you to the ER, so what?

Jason: Under occupation on the hospital paperwork you wrote "failed acrobat"

[Everyone bursts into laughter]

Dick: Was I wrong?! You did not get the move down, you failed. I.e. FAILED acrobat

Jason: [turns to everyone and gestures to Dick] See? Ass Hole

#jason todd #dick grayson #tim drake #stephanie brown #duke thomas #damian wayne #cassandra cain #dick and jason #incorrect batfamily quotes #batboys #batfamily #batfam #this is so long #i'm tired

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butwhyduh · 2 years

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Tim Drake: it’s 5 AM somewhere

#Tim drake #robin #Red Robin #batman and robin #incorrect batman quotes #batboy incorrect quote #dc incorrect memes #incorrect tim drake

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91-1lover · 1 month

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Dick and Damian- *Fighting using an incredible strategy and hours of training*

Meanwhile

Jason- YEEEET *Throwing Tim at bad guys*

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bat-stuff · 10 months

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Batman: Gotham is quiet tonight

Batman, suspicious: too quiet

Meanwhile five blocks away:

Teen Dick: Swiper no swiping!

Criminal, crying: I'll turn myself in just please stop talking

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ryemiffie · 18 days

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More quotes from my day turned into batman incorrect quotes for your day!

Joker: And now, the time has come for the jaw-dropping final act of the life of the infamous Nightwing!

Nightwing, pulling an uno card out of nowhere: Nice try, uno reverse!

Joker: Aw damn, you've foiled my plot again!

Jason: What?! All he did was pull out an uno card!

Joker: Yeah, an uno reverse card.

Jason: ??

Joker, handing over his weapon to nightwing: Well I suppose I ought to give this to you now.

Jason: You're just gonna give him your weapon?!

Joker: Well of course, those are the rules.

Jason: So if I had just pulled out my trusty uno reverse card back when you were trying to kill me, you'd have just, what? Stopped?

Joker: you had an uno reverse card on you?

Jason: No I didn't have a fucking uno reverse card on me!

Joker: Oh well that's a shame.

Jason: Are you kidding me right now!?

Nightwing: How do you not carry an uno reverse card around with you wherever you go at this point?

Jason: Why the fuck would I!?

Nightwing: Cause we fight these extravagant assholes everyday, they're all wack, of course they abide by uno reverse card rules!

Jason: Well gee, thanks for the heads up!

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batfamilycannons · 4 months

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Dick*the eldest daughter reaching a breaking point and it was this or manslaughter*: Due to my emotional trauma, I have decided I will be reverting back to my childhood Goblin lifestyle

Jason*always one for chaos*: Good for you

Bruce*traumatized from the first time not sure if he can survive a pt.2*: oh no

Tim*never left his Menace Lifestyle and is very exited to help cause more problems*: yay!

Bruce*even more scared*: oh no

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rusomnia · 11 months

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Jason, pointing at Tim: that child is morally grey at best

#incorrect quotes #jason todd #tim drake #batboys #dcu #the batboys as things my friends have said #admittedly this one is something I've said #about my brother #batfam

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