well now I am thinking abt how I project onto pythas. I would really rather not be thinking about it. but I am. unfortunately. I take this character who's a bad person. who loves rarely and doesn't know how to do it right. who seems to be built for isolation despite really needing companionship like everyone else does. who grew up too small and too shy and blending into the scenery without trying. and I give him people who love him unconditionally. who see him despite his hiding and light up when they greet him and understand the too-intense way he loves them and drag him out of his shell and forgive him for the things he's done wrong. I take this character who has always quietly acquiesced and swallowed his blood and made himself into exactly who others needed him to be. and I let him learn the strength to fight back and the ability to say no and the joy of choosing for himself. and yk ! I really don't want to know what that says abt me ! tbh ! I really don't want to admit that that's me and that's what I want !