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gutsby · 2 months

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Cabin Fever

Pairing: Dark!Joel x Dark!Reader

Summary: Joel saves your life, but help comes at a price.

Warnings: 18+. DEAD DOVE: DNE. NONCONSENSUAL. I’m never ever beating the insane bitch allegations, I fear. Protector-turned-pervert-turned-unwilling-captor-kinda. Corruption kink. Daddy kink. Somnophilia. Misogyny. “It’s too big; it won’t fit” + Joel “I’ll make it fit” Miller. Captivity on both ends. Oral (f!receiving). Gunplay. Oversimplified first-time anal. Uno Reverse Drugging. Evil, inexperienced reader meets evil, feral, slutty Joel. Attempted murder x3. Russian Roulette…as foreplay?

Notes: Both characters SUCK. I condone nothing they do. Please do not take any of their behavior or language to reflect my own moral predilections. That is all 🚬😵‍💫

You were hardly shaking at all when he’d found you chained, maimed, and frozen half to death on the plains.

He didn’t see that every day, that was for-fucking-sure.

Joel Miller barely got to see his share of happy, grinning girls on the cold and bitter frontier he inhabited. Ones that were tied to posts and clinging to life were even less common, so the sight of you there had almost frightened him at first. He’d approached you like one might advance upon a sleeping bear: with the utmost caution and a Winchester Model 70 levelled directly at your head.

He’d learned you were unarmed and defenseless in less than a second. He’d come to realize you were largely unconscious—and unclothed—even sooner than that.

He had been industrious in freeing your hands and feet from their restraints but never uttered a word as he did.

Even on the two-and-a-half mile trek back home, he hadn’t spoken once. You’d hung off his left shoulder like a pretty, frosted slab of meat, covered only with the sherpa blanket he’d secured around your neck, and dangled precariously down his back for the entire fifty minutes.

Your toes were two shades shy of onyx with frostbite.

Your limbs were hanging like lead over his chest.

A whisper of, ‘You’ll be fine, darlin’, I promise’ had just seemed ill-suited for the circumstances and his nature. In truth, Joel didn’t know if you’d be fine. You might die. The blood wouldn’t be on his hands one way or the other, but he never had liked burying bodies this time of year. He’d have to wait until April to break ground, at least.

Presently, he dropped your limp form to the floor of his cabin and hoped he wouldn’t be needing to bury anyone.

You sort of looked charming in the firelight.

He stomped off to the kitchen and began rifling for pans, preparing to defrost the icy stranger as best he could.

You didn’t die.

You didn’t wake for forty full hours, but you didn’t die.

When you stirred on the floor with warm sherpa around your shoulders and a rough calfskin rug under your ass, you thought you had died—maybe taken a pit stop in cowpoke purgatory while you were at it—but then you blinked. Breathed. Realized you were still very much inside your body and most likely still in Wyoming.

You sat up where you were and looked around.

“Da-a-d?”

You knew it was useless, calling for your father.

He had been dead almost eight months; you just wanted to double-check to make sure you were still on earth.

When dead dad didn’t answer, you tried someone else.

“Momma?”

Still no answer.

Figured, since she was among the ones that had left you chained outside in the first place. It’d been worth a shot.

You started to rise from your place, when a sharp pain in your side made you plop back down on the rug. You winced and lifted the blanket, then your old nightie.

A neat little taped-down bandage had your ribs encased in antiseptics and gauze. You frowned down at a stain in the centre, which looked to you an awful lot like blood. That circle of old fluids must’ve been twice the size of your fist and currently oozing tiny, fresh beads of blood from the strain you’d just exerted. You pursed your lips.

Least they could’ve done is kill me, not leave me here.

You’d take it up with your old would-be assassins another day, you were sure. Right now, you were parched, starving, in dire need of a piss, and reeling on the floor to grab hold of something sturdy to lift yourself. But you were as much a child then as you had ever been, swaying in place and clawing at air like someone who’d never kept their balance before. Or might’ve been drunk.

You rolled onto your good side and cast a sweeping look around the cabin. You smelled slow-cooked barbecue.

Thank fuck, you thought.

Now, if I were a juicy rack of ribs, where would I be?

The kitchen was dark and empty; the smell was coming from elsewhere. You craned your neck, tilted your chin, spotted a loft overhead but figured it wasn’t too likely to find someone grilling up there, so where the hell was it?

And who the hell was it, smoking meats and mending up strangers in the cold and lonely dead of winter like this?

You put a pin in that thought as you searched for a place to pee.

By the time you’d hobbled out of the bathroom, the smoky smell had grown even stronger. It was so pungent it bordered on vertiginous, invading every inch of the cabin with a force. Then it was leading you, teasing you by turns to venture outside. All you had on your feet were some oversized socks and two strips of medical tape.

Against your better judgment, you continued to hobble.

Out the door, down the steps, slowly, then following your nose and the first whiff of smoke you smelled to make it to the place you were almost certain you needed to be.

You trudged around a corner of the cabin’s exterior and stopped. Turned around. Cursed your own senses for being so stupid to miss the huge fucking shed spewing smoke out front—or was it the back?—and plodded on.

Your feet might have carried you a third of the way there before your powers of sight and sound eventually failed you again, and you missed another big something.

Big and beige and coated in snow—baring its teeth and snarling at the unfamiliar presence as soon as it saw you.

The next thing you knew, sixty-two pounds of Belgian Malinois had had you knocked to the ground in less than a second. You hardly understood what had hit you until it was barking and chomping away an inch from your face.

You fought hard and frantic to shove the ugly fucker off, but your bandaged hands were no match for its paws. The dog continued to tear at your blanket, nip at your ears, claw at your neck, and all around snuff out any sense of peace you might have acquired in the dozen-odd minutes since you’d first woken up. You screamed.

You yelled as loud as you could and felt yourself cower and sink lower into the snow as you fought.

Just when you tried to raise a knee—to kick the animal in the ribs or else protect your own—a sound broke out above the buzz.

A voice, clear as day:

“CUJO!”

The dog stalled on top of you a moment, just to be yanked off the next, and the closest thing afterward was a face—kinder than Cujo’s but not by very much.

It was a broad, bearded, pock-marked head with more soot to recommend itself than skin. Lips smeared with ash and grime and curved down in the single most decisive frown you’d seen in your life, the man looked to be beside himself seeing you tits up in the snow.

He gripped one arm of yours, then dropped it.

Picked a leg up, paused, then hauled you into a cradle carry as graceless as you’d ever felt it done before.

“Come!” he snapped, and it took you too long to realize that he was talking to the dog. You’d already wrapped your arms around his neck in abrupt complaisance.

He carried you back into the cabin and kicked the door open in front of you. He held you firm for a second, then, just as he had outside, changed course before you knew what to do and was shortly depositing you on the sofa.

You winced when your ass hit the cushion.

You started to sit, grab a pillow for your back or just bring your knees to your chest, when suddenly a palm was pressing flat on your front. Forcing you to lie down.

“Hey, hey!” you cried when the man started lifting the hem of your nightgown.

If he’d heard you at all, he didn’t show it. He just worked his thick, dirty fingers under the fabric and raised the white satin like he might the hood of a car. He frowned.

It was then that you noticed a blooming red splotch on your side, slowly overtaking the terra-cotta color of dried blood on the bandage and spreading out. Then a pain.

Instead of pushing the man’s hands away, you were holding them tight, wrestling that same touch which was trying to keep you from poking around the area now.

“Quit,” the man said, sedate as could be.

“Hurts,” was all you could think to tell him—and you guessed he’d already had that part down by the outpouring of blood. He shoved your hands off.

The brand new crimson hue had already soaked through the bandage. He pulled it off. You caught a glimpse of a wound that seemed to be weeping through its stitches—oozing pus and blood and a gore you could’ve gone your whole life without seeing. You would’ve liked to run a couple gentle, awed fingers over it, but as it was, your coarse and tight-lipped medic wouldn’t let you.

“Hold still,” he commanded.

“Heystopstopstop!” you implored him, feeling a streak of pain up your side as his calloused hands delved deeper.

At your latest flinch and plea, the man seemed to have had enough. Or just needed to angle your body in a different direction for easier access to the site. He gathered you back up in his arms and walked over to the kitchen, where he set you down again on the counter. Hands moved to your hips, briefly, to push you back on the surface and allow him to stand between your legs. Again, the man frowned as he peeled off your pyjamas.

Two warring fears of pain and overexposure fought like wild beasts in your brain for a second—you yelping and trying to cover your breasts in a hurry, then realizing how much it hurt to lift your arms that way when your ribs were dripping blood, then the man making the decision for you both as he pushed your hands behind your back and said a simple ‘Fuck’s sake’ to keep you pinned.

You didn’t like it.

You didn’t like it, and you let him continue, because you knew that you didn’t know shit about doing this yourself.

Joel must’ve fixed your dressings fourteen times before turning you loose. He’d had you perched atop his counter like goddamned Prisoner-of-War Barbie, all riddled with bumps, bruises, and lesions galore, looked your body up and down just once, and nearly grew sick at the sight.

He’d disgusted himself by feeling as aroused as he was.

Shortly thereafter, he’d toted you off—before the blood could rush down to his dick and start to swell—shrugged your gown over your torso, and stepped away. Simple.

Then you’d had to go and throw a wrench in his plans.

“What if I need to pee?” you’d said as soon as Joel started up the stairs with you in his arms again.

He had meant to drop you off on the bed in the loft, out of sight, but it seemed you were more concerned about the prospect of traversing the steps up and down for potty breaks. Joel had audibly huffed above you.

“I can leave a bucket.”

“Yu-uck.” The latter word had been given two syllables to show the full extent of your disgust, like a child might do.

And that was how you’d ended up here: snug in his bed on the ground floor, curled up in more layers of flannel and wool than you could count and staring blankly up at the man who was standing cold and aloof off to the side.

Your eyelids were growing heavy with sleep.

He figured they would be.

Joel picked up the glass that sat beside your empty one on the nightstand and drank, watching you all the while.

“D’you know my momma?” you asked, voice sounding extra small coming from the depths of your cocoon.

Joel finished his drink in four big gulps.

“Sure hope not,” he said once he’d set it back down.

By the sight of the scars he’d found littering your hands and back alone, Joel was able to surmise you’d come from a pretty rough, ragtag group. Maybe even Raiders. Knowing folks like that simply never struck one’s fancy, so he’d been honest. You might’ve argued, or laughed, if you hadn’t been nabbed so tightly in the grips of those first stages preceding sleep, so instead, you nodded.

“Figured,” you mumbled.

7:11, Joel read on the clock. You’d finished your drink at seven, or somewhere thereabouts. Judging by your size, it wouldn’t take long at all for the medicine to take effect.

‘Medicine,’ Joel thought, sounded a whole hell of a lot better than ‘drugs.’ One was meant to rehabilitate, rejuvenate, bring new life to your worn and weary bones. The other would just knock you cold and keep you there.

On second thought, those were definitely drugs Joel had just slipped in your water before giving it to you to drink.

As your eyes blinked from closed, to open, to closed, then open but slightly less open than the time before, and closed again, he felt a sick sense of accomplishment twist in his gut. If only his former-nurse friend could have seen what he was doing with those morphine sulfate tablets he’d traded for—he likely would’ve slapped Joel across the face. And Joel would’ve smiled all the same.

Yeah, okay, drugging the unsuspecting and defenseless female he’d just saved from death’s doorstep two days ago didn’t look great on paper, he would fully concede.

But this was all in good fun.

Great fun, even.

For him.

“Sick fuck,” Joel muttered as he started to undo his belt. The button and zip were taken apart just as fast, and with two steps, he was standing at your bedside—his bedside—and tugging his trousers down his legs. He took his cock in his hand and glanced over at the clock.

7:15.

He nudged your shoulder.

7:16.

Peeling layers of blanket away from your body.

7:17.

“Hey…honey?”

A lot more nothing from the girl sleeping in front of him. He shrugged his jeans to the floor, kicked them off at his feet, and moved onto the bed. You just looked so sweet.

Joel tried working around the fabric of his boxers but got impatient pretty quick. He hauled those off, too.

Soon, his beefy, bare, and surprisingly tan legs were bracketing your hips as he stroked himself above you. His eyes roamed the lax and tranquil features undeniably characteristic of sleep, and he pumped himself faster. Really, there was no need for theatrics or enhancements now—he was already hard as three tonnes of steel—but Joel would be lying if he said he didn’t like the build-up.

You were no longer in danger of dying, thanks to him. You were slowly but surely on the mend, no thanks to Cujo at all, but many thanks to him, Joel Miller, the man who had pried you off of that post, pulled you out of your chains, ushered warmth back into your limbs, and stitched up your side out of the goodness of his heart.

Any objective onlooker could see that you’d availed yourself of his medical attention and aid without ever asking, so why should he request access to you now? This was the way of the world these days, anyway. Sex was no longer so much a question as it was an answer in most scenarios—a mere transaction, wherein the physically weaker of two parties was forced to capitulate. Not within the four unsullied walls of Jackson and a few other pockets of homestead communities here and there, but on the whole, absolutely. Jackson was down the road a ways away and sufficiently far enough from Joel’s cabin for him to be disentangled from their rules. What mattered now was obtaining what he was owed.

Still, the man hesitated a half-second longer above you. He jerked his cock even faster and felt his stomach start to clench. Was that? No—nerves were fucking juvenile. Getting close to cumming from just the sight of you alone was for chumps. Joel Miller was no chump.

He lifted your nightie and lowered the head of his cock to rest between your folds. Then he shifted his knees so that he could rub himself gently against your warmth.

Joel Miller was a monster, but he was no brute. He also understood female anatomy well enough to know that, well…wetter was better. He started moving his hips.

You exhaled through your nose. Nothing major; you probably hadn’t even felt him long enough to whine.

Joel planted a hand beside your head—a preemptive warning.

“There…” He liked to talk as though you could hear him. Like you might be semi-conscious and dimly aware of what he was doing to you then, “Right there…ah, baby.”

He never did catch your name.

That was no matter. So long as you stayed put and made a nice, wet, pretty little hole for him to fuck, you would be fine. By the feel of your folds alone, he could tell you’d be a fun thing to use. Soft and snug and plied with drugs, you could do, and be, anything he damn well needed.

Or maybe nothing at all, he thought without humor.

Joel brushed your cheek with the knuckles of his free hand and watched you turn away, making a face. He snagged your chin and tilted it back to him, sharply, before gliding those fingers down your chest, then your tummy, then your hips, then dipping between your legs. He found your clit and pressed it with a deliberate touch.

“Hey,” Joel whispered, again, as though you might hear, “You’re gonna stay still and let me do this.”

Your nose scrunched in response, thighs clamping together. Joel pried them apart with one push and continued sliding his cock back and forth. He grunted.

“Gonna let me take what’s mine, hear?”

You didn’t hear much of anything, he suspected, but he asked the question all the same. At least now your legs were staying open and he could rut himself gently into that space without having to keep them spread. A first, gentle ‘mmph’ sounded from your lips, and he was glad. He kept thumbing that spot he knew you would like and rubbing along the seam of your cunt with his erection.

Then Joel felt a weight on his shoulders. Remorse? No. Anxiety? Perhaps. This felt more like a fog, though, seizing his muscles and seeping gently between the grooves of his brain. He gave his head a fierce shake.

“Hold still,” he said, more to himself; you hadn’t moved.

Joel fisted the base of his cock and angled the tip toward your entrance, caring much less whether you were ready or not now that his desires had grown stronger.

He was met with resistance on trying to push in. He dug his fingers in the pillow beneath your head and scowled.

“Quit…clenchin’…like that. Ain’t…fair to me,” he huffed.

He was one to talk.

Now, he’d been with a staggering number of women, experiences ranging all across the spectrum, but even the tightest, most untouched pieces of ass he’d ever tapped had given way more than this. Your walls were unyielding, refusing to give him entry. Joel cursed and rutted his hips in a rough, entirely unsuccessful, thrust.

You hummed in response, eyes still closed, one hand fumbling mindlessly for something to hold. Joel seized it.

“Not lettin’ you off that easy, darlin’, I—”

“Fuck,” you breathed, followed by a low whimper.

Joel froze. Had you heard him? Felt him just now?

Something about the uncertainty laden in those questions sent his mind into overdrive, heart beating a wild cadence in his chest. He realized then that his mouth had gone dry, his vision was skewed just slightly on the outskirts. And his cock was throbbing.

“Ya like that?” Joel seethed, not thinking, still rubbing, “Like givin’ daddy a hard time before lettin’ him in?”

“Uh-huh.” Softly.

You little slut. He knew it all along.

Whatever it was that kept your body from being coupled with his was almost immaterial to him now. Joel’s mind was swimming with desire, cock dragging in desperate, fitful bursts between your legs, never penetrating but still wringing massive jolts of pleasure from that place.

With the way he was feeling now, Joel could cum from just fucking your thighs. And that was alright.

You were moaning underneath him. Even…smiling?

“Fuck, baby, you look so pretty.”

Joel had never called a girl pretty before and meant it. But he hardly knew how else to describe you now with how good and sweet and fine you were making him feel. A strange warmth sank into his chest, making it harder to breathe, and then he was panting above you, as if he were really inside that dripping wet spot. He was close.

“Such a pretty…sweet…fuckin’ thing for me.”

That red, raging, leaky cock of his was almost a blur between your legs, he was thrusting against you so fast. Joel thought for one frightening second that it might be his skull that would explode instead, so high was that pressure between his ears, but his fears were promptly put to rest as the first rope of cum came stuttering out. Then another. Then another. Then another.

By the time he finished, he could’ve sworn he’d left a hundred spurts on your tummy. When Joel glanced down and saw a sea of opaque, sticky white, he groaned.

Then he fell. Fully collapsed at your side with his brain in a tizzy of wild, heady feelings and sank into himself.

He hadn’t even fucked you, and he felt like he had.

He lifted a hand to wipe away his spend, but he couldn’t.

He would get to it in the morning, before you stirred, he thought. He thought. He didn’t have the chance to think much longer at all, as darkness started hedging him in.

He slept.

It was 7:57 when he woke.

The man had no real way of knowing that, though, seeing as he was greeted with a nickel-plated revolver between his teeth the second he opened his eyes.

You were straddling his torso, gun pinched between two calm, bandaged hands. You frowned when he jumped.

“WH—” he started.

“Shut up.”

“ST—”

“I said shut,” you cocked the gun, holding it tighter, then shoving it even further inside his mouth, “the fuck. up.”

The man obeyed.

‘Joel M.’—you’d read the name etched on the butt of his pistol before picking it up some twenty minutes ago.

“Pretty fuckin’ thing,” you mocked the man’s Texan drawl as you wiggled the barrel even deeper along his tongue, “Like givin’ daddy a hard time before lettin’ him in?”

The man’s eyes widened.

How dumb did he think you were?

Offering a semi-clear liquid that should’ve been water; he hadn’t even waited for the morphine tablet to fully dissolve before handing it over to you. Fucking idiot.

You were more disturbed by the fact he’d thought you stupid enough not to notice than him actually trying to drug you. The latter was almost to be expected from predatory, execrable men like him, but the insult to your intelligence? Unacceptable. You’d remedied that affront fairly quickly, though, swapping his glass with yours the second he hadn’t been looking, then nestling into his bed and playing pretend for what had felt like an eternity.

You’d been awake the whole time the man touched you, not knowing what the hell was going on but feeling like you had to stay still. Let him finish. Out of fear, at first, then curiosity, then some strange and unfamiliar sensation that you couldn’t quite describe as anything but a pleasurable itch between your legs. You let the man continue, hearing him grunt and groan and swear up a storm before he shot something hot all over your tummy. By the end of it all, you knew it was wrong, and you knew it was dirty—though you weren’t sure exactly what it was that he had done—but you wanted to learn more.

Which was probably why you hadn’t just shot the old pervert right between his eyes the second he’d stirred.

You shifted atop this ‘Joel M.’ and frowned once more.

“Why’d you stop?”

Gun still wedged in his mouth, Joel’s voice sounded garbled as he spoke, “Wha-agh-at?”

You retracted the metal just long enough to pose the question again. When you had, he still looked stunned.

“Answer me,” you barked, and feeling your patience lapse, got straight to pistol-whipping the motherfucker upside his half-grey head, “You DUMB, or somethin’?”

The man sputtered again.

“No, no— I don’t— dunno what you mean.”

He sounded dumb. You would need to spell this out.

“Why did you stop rubbing me like that?”

If anything, the clarification only seemed to baffle him further. He opened his taut, bearded mouth, then closed it, then eyed you up and down with a look that said he was considering something. Then he stared at one spot.

You glanced down at it too.

“And what is this, anyway?” you asked, swiping one finger at the mostly dried moisture on your stomach, “Why’d you spit this stuff up all over me, huh?!”

“I ain’t—”

You raised the gun as if to hit him again. He jolted back.

“I didn’t mean— shit. Shit, I just…came on you, ‘s’all.”

“Came?”

The word hung in the air like a grenade, waiting. Mr. M was already bracing himself for the impact, it seemed.

“Came?!”

That bracing served him well, because in the next second you were lifting the weapon even higher and eyeing him with the most pointed, putrid look of disdain. You’d never been one for letting grenades go untouched.

“Ejaculated!” Joel hissed, lifting a hand to shield himself, “Felt— felt so good I just couldn’t stop and I-I-I came.”

You paused.

Came. Felt good. Couldn’t stop.

You had felt good when he’d rubbed you. You had not wanted him to stop. But then he had. And you were mad. You’d never been touched that way in your life, and now you were feeling fifteen hundred emotions at once.

Were you supposed to ‘come,’ too? Why did he stop?

“Why didn’t you let me…ejaculate, too?” The words felt foreign and strange on your tongue.

For the first time, you saw one side of Joel’s lips twitch. Evidently fighting the urge to turn them into a smile.

“Girls don’t really…do that,” he said. Then, after a beat, “Why? Ain’t ever had your pussy rubbed on by a man?”

You shortly landed the blow you’d been holding over his head, splitting the skin along his brow with one hit from the butt of his gun. Joel jumped again, then moaned.

“Crazy bitch!”

“Creepy fuck.”

Your eyes narrowed with loathing, unable to comprehend how a man so vile had just made you feel so good. Your stomach was twisting in knots while Joel rubbed his forehead, pawing helplessly at the gash you’d just left.

“I saved your life,” he grumbled, low, “You owed me.”

“Did I?”

Abruptly, and without really thinking, you were sinking the muzzle of the gun into the spot you’d just cut, mouth kicking up in a smile at the sounds of pain it elicited.

“Did I, Joel?” you cooed.

“How the— the fuck do you know my name?”

Momentarily, you yanked the revolver from his face and tilted it to show him his name carved into the bottom.

“What’s the ‘M’ stand for? ‘Molester’?”

“Means ‘mind’ your fucking business,” he spat.

You probably would’ve hit him again had it not seemed as though he were trying to sit up just then. You slid swiftly from his frame—just to take a step off the bed, gun still pointed at his head. Then you backed away.

One by one, rapidly, you unloaded the bullets from the cylinder, maintaining a safe distance from the man all the while. You watched him blink and try to get some thing from his eyes, but he didn’t seem keen to move.

You left just one live round inside. You made a point to spin the cylinder and, again, aim it straight at his head.

The man was blinking even harder. Rubbing now, too.

“I feel…” Joel murmured.

“Drugged?” you returned, “Yeah, that must suck.”

A set of wide, irate, and horrified eyes met yours. His mouth hung open in a stupid look of shock. Trying to piece the last bits of this fucked up jigsaw puzzle together and growing angrier by the second.

“You fuckin’—”

Joel’s words were cut short by the weight of your body barreling back over his. Graceless, you imagined, but still nothing close to something you cared about now. You planted your knees on either side of his ribs and grazed the tip of the six-shooter down the length of his nose.

“Tell me,” you said, “How’d you make it feel so good?”

Your hips twisted for effect, jostling the man’s own parts beneath yours and clearly causing some effect in him. The muscles in his jaw jumped up as he gritted his teeth.

“You know damn well, slut,” Joel griped.

Without another thought, you squeezed the trigger.

Click.

The man’s whole body lurched underneath you. Trembling with the realization that you’d left just one lone bullet for him—and he didn’t know which chamber.

As far as foreplay went, Russian Roulette was probably a first, even for a man as wanton and depraved as Joel. You smiled sweetly and made another gyration with your lower half, which prompted him to grip you. Tight.

“What? Ya want me to fuck you, is that it?” he growled.

“I thought it wouldn’t fit.”

“I’ll make it fit.”

“How?”

Try as you might to conceal it, your gaze likely betrayed a hint of sincerity as you made that last inquiry. Joel’s eyes flickered between yours, searching for something there, and just when those glossy brown irises had found it, they stopped. Blinked. He shook his head, incredulous.

“My mind ain’t…right,” he said, slowly, “But I— I know you know what I mean by that, sweet pea.”

Something in your tummy fluttered at the sound. You gripped the pistol tighter to get rid of the feeling.

“I don’t,” you answered.

Again, Joel was stumped. For the first time, though, there appeared to be some sympathy behind his eyes. Or stupidity. Or just a shit ton of morphine coursing through his veins as he tried to make sense of this situation.

As if to confirm an idea in his drug-addled brain, he lowered a hand between your legs and hovered there a second. He watched you; you watched back but didn’t move.

Then slowly, almost clinically, Joel slipped two fingers underneath you and found a soft, pulsing warmth—far wetter than the last time he’d touched down there. When he pulled his hand away, both fingers and half of his palm were glistening with a fluid. You let out a startled cry at the sight of it and nearly dropped your gun.

“What is that?!”

Joel looked to you, equally awed—for different reasons.

“What do you mean?”

“Why’s it all…sticky?”

You couldn’t even try to hide your horror at the thought of that weird, syrupy stuff leaking out of you. It was strange enough feeling it come out of a freak like Joel, but from your own body? He had to be fucking joking.

“It’s normal.”

“Like hell it is— you— STOP!” The last fragment of your sentence was swallowed by a scream, leaping back when Joel moved his fingers toward your face.

“What? You’ve never seen this?” He sounded like he was teasing. You could shoot him for how smug he sounded.

In very small amounts, you’d seen stuff. Blood every month. Bits and pieces of bodily secretions that, to you, had always seemed gross. But never this. Never big, sticky globs of…whatever the fuck this was. You continued to back away on the bed, gun still tipped toward Joel but now trying to put some distance between your bodies. You didn’t know how else to act.

You did know you wanted to scream when Joel stuck his fingers in his mouth. Bile might’ve jumped in your throat.

He sucked the dew clean off the digits, then wriggled them to show what he’d done. You felt the urge to vomit.

“That came from— from— why are you eating it?!”

Joel grinned. Big.

You weren’t sure why, but he looked psyched to be alive in that moment, and not just because of the narcotics.

Before you knew what was happening, he’d pushed you flat on your back, hips pinned underneath his hands as he moved over your body. He didn’t even try for the gun.

“And here I was thinkin’ you were just fuckin’ with me,” he chuckled, palms sliding under your nightdress. When you felt the residuum of wetness from his spit and your slick stuck together on his fingers, you wanted to squeal.

But you didn’t. You tried propping yourself up on elbows until Joel was sliding your one and only article of clothing over your head, then beckoning you down on the bed in front of him. You watched his gaze flit down to your side.

“Still hurt?” he murmured, tracing over the bandage.

You shook your head no, though it did, a little. At the moment, it seemed the pain was the furthest thing from your mind as you saw Joel slide down your body and try to take up residence between your thighs—with his face planted right there. You kicked his shoulder in protest.

“Quit!” you cried, pulling your legs up to your chest.

“You quit,” Joel returned, yanking them back.

Then you felt you had no choice but to brandish the gun, taking the thing between two palms while you pointed it again—as if he needed the reminder.

“Fine. Why don’t you keep that thing aimed at my head while I give you some?” he muttered. The subsequent ‘See if I give a shit’ was silent.

“Give me some what?”

“Head.”

Head. You’d never heard something phrased that way. Joel’s head was down there, sure, practically grinning from ear to ear as he hooked your legs over his shoulders, but certainly he didn’t mean to do a thing as drastic and dirty as—

“JOEL!”

“Hm?” His voice was muffled by your thighs.

You tried to shy away, but he held you down.

“Joel, I— I pee out of there,” you hissed, “Why the fuck would you wanna put your mouth on that?”

As if your groans of disgust and vehement attempts to get away weren’t enough to deter him, you watched Joel’s tongue dart between his lips and down to yours. The sick fuck was actually licking your folds, tracing the tip across that warm, sticky place and moaning into your skin. Holding you tighter when you pleaded for him to stop. Then, with the hand that wasn’t prying your legs apart, he reached down and started stroking his cock.

Again, it felt dirty and wrong. Beyond the fact that this man was a perfect stranger and easily decades your senior, you were repulsed by the sight of his lips and his tongue and his spit mixing up in that messy, wet place you still didn’t quite understand yourself. You didn’t know much about your body, but it had never once occurred to you to be kissed down there. Joel was roaming every contour and crevice with his tongue like it was the most natural thing in the world. Like he liked it.

“I hate it,” you whined, feebly.

You knew you could’ve easily blown the man’s brains out, but some small part of you was still plagued by curiosity. ‘Hate’ was just the first word that came to mind when you were faced with something that made you scared.

“It’s weird,” you tried again. This time pressing the gun to the top of his bobbing head while you grit your teeth, “And wrong.”

At that, Joel stopped.

His eyes flickered to yours, all glass-like and hooded.

“Why? Practically lickin’ ya clean here,” he said, starting to grin to himself as his words came slightly slurred, “There’s nothin’ wrong about this, sweet pea.”

You felt something flutter between you. He felt it, too.

“Like when I call ya that? ‘Sweet pea’?” he said, pausing to flick his tongue over the spot that had just stirred at his words. He watched you fight back a whimper.

“No,” you choked. You pinched your eyes shut, unsure whether it was pleasure or pure revulsion overtaking you—or both.

Suddenly, you felt Joel’s hand smooth over your thigh, still warm from when he’d been stroking himself below. He placed an affectionate kiss to your belly and grinned.

“Is that what this is? Feel guilty about feelin’ this good?” he murmured, “Think it’s…dirty, what we’re doin’?”

At length, and just barely visible to him, you nodded.

“It is dirty,” you corrected him quietly.

Then you saw that stupid pseudo-sympathetic smirk tug at the corners of his lips, and just when you thought he might nudge his way back up your body—to do what, you weren’t sure—he sank between your legs. This time, he made sure to hold your gaze as he re-assumed the position. His palm continued to rub at your thigh, as if to distract you from the rough brush of his stubble or the fact that his mouth was hovering so dangerously close.

“Sweet pea,” he rasped, “Ain’t nothin’ dirty about this.”

As if to punctuate his words, Joel dragged his lips down your slit to press a kiss to your centre, eyes never leaving yours.

“Not here…”

He pointed with his tongue, moving it deftly between your folds. You gripped the sheets, trying to ignore the pleasure that the simple act wrought through your body.

“Not here.”

He kissed your clit. You squeezed even tighter.

“Not on my tongue, on my fingers, anywhere, y’hear?”

You were about to answer—maybe tell him he was supremely full of shit, then flash the gun in his face—when Joel shifted onto his knees on the bed. He moved slowly and as calm as he ever had, motions languid while his mind was likely steeped in the morphine by now. He snagged one of your ankles. He slid his hand up the back of your calf and tugged you down to the edge of the bed. Then he stood up, right between your legs. The warmth radiating from his bare lower half was immediate, almost suffocating from where you lay. You didn’t like it at all.

You refused to meet his gaze, grip tightening on the gun.

“Joel…”

When that warmth at your front shifted inward, though, you hardly had a say in what your reflexes did or didn’t do. You jumped when you felt the head of his dick slip past your pulsing core, closer to the other hole below it.

“Not here, either,” Joel continued, grin still evident from his tone.

Before you could even think to ask what he meant to do ‘here,’ Joel moved one of your legs up, tilting your hips, and pushed ahead with just the tip of his cock. Not breaching it fully, but nudging—prodding at that hole.

For the first time, you let out a moan.

You hastily clamped a hand over your mouth to stifle it.

“Aw, honey,” Joel murmured, “Did that feel good?”

His words reeked of condescension. You scowled at the ceiling.

“No.”

You felt him push a little further—this time making the head of his dick notch into that tight ring of muscles.

No, the word rang through your skull once more. Your curiosity was shortly supplanted by disgust—how the fuck could you let this creepy old man, this stranger, press into you like that? Talk to you like you were dumb? You seized hold of Joel’s pistol with both hands and aimed directly for his chest.

“Stop doing that,” you growled. When the man’s grip on your leg only tightened and you couldn’t writhe away, you lifted the other and tried kicking him in the gut. Of course, Joel caught your foot midair, and it never landed.

“Just givin’ ya options, darlin’,” he said, easy-going. Not seeming to care about the firearm pointed his way.

Fuck it.

You squeezed the trigger again.

Empty chamber.

If Joel flinched, you didn’t see it. He did, however, knock the gun right out of your hand the next second, sending it tumbling with an unceremonious thump on the bed behind you. You tried to leap back for it, but your arm was quickly pinned. Joel cocked one silver-flecked brow.

“You done?” he asked, almost bored.

Your last—and only—leverage taken away from you, you couldn’t help but feel a pang of anger. And desperation.

“I don’t wanna do this,” you cried, trying to squirm away.

Joel didn’t move his cock, but he did hold you still. Blinking with indifference and a fair bit of drug-induced dissociation, it seemed, from the far-away look in his eyes. He pushed both of your legs so they were folded up to your chest, and ignored your whimpers when he did. At length, he pulled out just enough to smear some of your wetness down to the hole he was trying to fuck.

“You want this,” he countered gently.

“I DON’T!”

Joel continued as though he hadn’t heard you, and moments later, you sensed another slick something pooling against you. From your position beneath him, you could see a bead of spit slip from Joel’s mouth and stretch into a thin, glistening string all the way down to the space between your thighs. You watched him rub the saliva in with his fingers, almost meticulous as he did it.

Then he eased his hips forward an inch, wedging himself back in your ass. He groaned when he felt resistance—and a sharp clench of your muscles.

“I can teach ya…show ya everything…there is to know.”

His words somehow made it out through ragged breaths. That broad, tan chest was heaving with every labored pull of his lungs, and you could tell he was feeling good.

You might’ve been able to say the same for yourself, were your mind not singly occupied by the desire to escape. Still at war with yourself, wondering how it would feel or what you might see that first time, all the while despising the man who seemed hell-bent on forcing it.

He might’ve saved your life, but there was no fucking way he’d get to use you like that and stay breathing.

You were raised better than that.

You could do better than anything this man had to offer.

You resolved to kill him as soon as the drugs knocked him out—just like you’d had planned from the second you woke up on the floor of his cabin that afternoon.

Of course being chained, maimed, and frozen half to death on the plains for some well-meaning stranger to find you had always been part of your mother’s—and the rest of the Raiders’—grand plan. Having this stupid, horny sap take you into his home with the hope of claiming you as his own was just the icing on top.

Now you had a reason to kill Joel and steal all his shit.

At present, he fed another inch of himself inside you and grinned when you let out a startled cry.

“Atta girl,” he said, smirking, “Feelin’ okay?”

“Fuck you.”

“Will do.”

Then, as if to prove a point, he bottomed out, sheathing his cock to the hilt in spite of your cries. Your hands fisted the sheets, and you tried to pull off. It didn’t work.

In fact, all it accomplished was giving Joel more room to thrust back into you. And pull out. And shove back in. The snap of his hips was like cruel and excruciating clockwork, completely unhindered by your words or your gestures or your pleas to stop fucking doing that Joel, it fucking hurts! If anything, the sounds of your censure only got him harder, and with it, made it that much easier to fuck you rougher. His eyes shone with pride.

“What’s’at, sweet pea?” he hummed, strokes coming into a steady pace.

“It’s too…big…doesn’t fit,” you whimpered.

In response, Joel glanced down to see the spot where your bodies were joined. He pushed even deeper.

“Yeah?” he said when you yelped, “I think it fits just fine.”

Motherfucker, you wanted to wail, but then your neck craned sideways—your mouth trying to find purchase in anything you might grit between your teeth—and the only thing that escaped your throat was a sob. You tried burying your face in the comforter, only for Joel to yank it back.

Cupping your chin and pinching both your cheeks in a single, punishing squeeze as he continued to fuck you, “What’s the matter, darlin’? Too much?”

You groaned and clenched your jaw, head jerking away.

Per usual, Joel was undeterred. Even smiled.

“My pretty girl need somethin’a bite, huh?” he hummed.

He probably knew you wouldn’t nod, so he went ahead and decided to oblige that one need he saw anyway. Snagging your nightie, Joel raised a hand to your face and proceeded to push the fabric inside your mouth.

Just as he started to lift his hips to deliver another thrust, he had to stop. A sudden, sharp ‘FUCK!’ left his mouth, then a groan, and his hand retreated fast.

You’d bitten him.

You were grinning just a little, and you’d bitten him.

Joel promptly slapped you across the face. If you weren’t so fucking amused by the sight of his bright red fingers, you just might’ve winced. Instead, the smile stayed on your lips, the slap barely registered, and, to your utmost disbelief, something else had just then started to form.

Pleasure, in the pit of your stomach.

“Fuckin’—” Joel snarled.

“Shit,” you finished, eyes rolling back.

You couldn’t help it. Joel was rutting into you relentlessly. That brief hand bite detour had only stoked the flames of his hatred—and arousal—and now he was practically splitting you in half with the force of his thrusts. He slapped you once more for good measure.

“Oh, that you fuckin’ like?” he seethed, cheeks flushed, “Can’t get off with my…tongue on your cunt, but a slap— and my cock buried deep in your ass gets the job done?”

“Uh-huh,” you answered softly. Mindlessly.

Really, there were no two people more fucked up than you in this moment, you thought. Joel growing harder with each desperate objection of yours, you going all soft and hot and bothered the second he slapped your face and fucked you rougher, and together, the two of you letting out grunts and moans of pleasure while the bed shook like an earthquake just shy of a 9.5 on the Richter scale. Were you not already planning to slit the man’s throat after all of this was over, you just might’ve wanted to marry this Joel M for how wonderfully he fucked you.

You let him know as much when you seized his forearms.

Bouncing into his thrusts, you bit your lip and finally met his gaze. Joel’s eyes were trained in somewhat of a daze, pupils all but swallowing his irises as he fucked you.

“Like being daddy’s little cocksleeve, huh?”

Only the sentence was slurred so bad you could scarcely make out half the words. You nodded just the same.

“Like it when he fucks you in the ass?” Joel panted.

You nodded again.

That pleasure in your belly had worked its way up to a full swell—and whatever it was, you couldn’t bear the thought of losing it now. You gripped Joel’s arms even harder as his chest swayed into you, then sank further and further until your fronts were pressed flush to each other and your ankles were hooked tight around his back.

It almost felt intimate. That coarse, weathered, sweat-coated face spattered with patches of grey seemed to you nearly handsome as his lips hung limply in an ‘o.’

Joel’s cock dragged back and forth between your walls at this new, snug angle, and moans fell out of you both.

“Baby.” His voice was hoarse. Strained.

You couldn’t quite make sense of the expression above you, but there was an unmistakable, muted desperation lurking somewhere beneath it. Joel rutted into you quicker, balls leaving rapid smacks against your ass with every thrust. His hair was disheveled, and his hands were making fists in the sheets on either side of your head.

“Joel—”

“Jus’ lemme use you.”

Words so low they were barely audible as he panted.

“But—”

“Daddy’s…almost done, sweet pea. Just take it.”

You were surprised he’d had it within himself to be so soft. A peculiar sort of haze hung over his face, the pace of his hips picked up even more, and suddenly those plush pink lips were hovering a mere hair’s breadth away from yours. Mumbling. Rambling on and on about how wet you were, how perfect you fit him, how nice and sweet and tight your body felt as he fucked you stupid.

That sensation in your own stomach grew even stronger.

Unsure of what to do, you pressed a palm to his chest.

“Joel, I…I feel funny,” you whispered.

Joel hummed. Didn’t slow.

“I know.”

He knew?

“What’s it—ah, fuck.” Your words broke off in a whimper.

Instead of proffering a verbal response, Joel just slipped a touch between your bodies—thumbing sloppily between your folds to earn a couple more high-pitched moans. Your legs tightened around his middle.

“Joel, s-stop!”

It felt so good it almost hurt. He didn’t stop.

“S’just an orgasm, baby,” Joel panted, “You’re okay.”

And, in spite of his own impending climax and the effect of the drugs likely reaching a fever pitch inside him, Joel managed to slide his other hand beneath the back of your head. Cradled you to him while he fucked you into the bed and made you come unraveled with his touch. You tried to writhe away, but he was used to the drill by now—he just fucked you harder and rubbed you faster.

Whatever he wanted would come soon. You doubted there was anything you could do to stop it, but you tried.

Without thinking, you grabbed hold of the damp locks of hair at the nape of his neck and yanked on them hard.

“Joel, I can’t— I can’t,” you keened.

The hand at the back of your head held you firm.

“You can,” Joel returned, tough but surprisingly calm, “Give it to daddy, ‘s’all ya gotta do.”

What exactly ‘it’ was was still unclear. You just knew you felt good and warm and full—about ready to burst. When you felt tempted to give his hair another tug, Joel’s eyes met yours, and they were soft. Insistent, still, but soft.

Dilated as all hell and probably swimming in clouds of a delirious, bleary haze, but always soft. Almost tender.

“Be a good girl and give it to daddy,” Joel slurred, slow, “C’mon, sweet pea…cum for daddy, please.”

For the first time in that short, rough, utterly deranged time you had known this man, he was begging you. Pleading with you, now, as his body grew overwrought with pleasure and just needed release. You needed it, too, not even knowing how you would get it, but the force of his thrusts, the warmth of his body, the look in those warm, bare, powerless eyes—you fucking loved whatever it was that could make a man like that so weak.

You had to strike while the iron was hot. You slid back.

Joel didn’t notice, too focused on your face and the feel of your body to see when you’d reached for the gun.

Just as you took hold of it, a jolt of pleasure tore through you. Your heels dug into his back, and you nearly lost control of the pistol. Joel groaned in your mouth, begged you once again to cum all over this cock, make a fuckin’ mess of it, baby, please, and you could only whine, grip the metal tighter, and raise it slowly to the side of his head while he buried his face in the crook of your neck.

The peak of your pleasure had come into view. You felt it.

You nudged the muzzle through those soft, slick, salt-and-pepper shaded tufts of hair near the edge of his temple right when the first throes of euphoria seized you.

“FUCK!”

You squeezed the trigger.

#NEED DARK!JOEL TO TAKE ME TO HIS PENTHOUSE AND FREAK ME IN WAYS UNIVERSALLY CONDEMNED BY POSTMODERN FEMINISM #IT'S SOOOOO BAD Y'ALL #this might be too niche but i hope at least one person enjoys LOL #joel miller #joel miller tlou #joel miller smut #joel miller imagine #joel miller one shot #joel miller x reader #joel miller fanfiction #the last of us #tlou #the last of us fic #joel miller x you #dark!joel

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alreadyblondenow · 4 months

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▸ Assassin Jaehyun x Assassin Female reader ▸ Smut, Smut, Smut, Fluff, Angst, Gore, MATURE ▸ JAEHYUN SMUT SERIES: FUCK, MARRY, KILL ▸ VOLUME I: PART 1, PART 2, PART 3

THIS IS PART 2. THIS IS PART 2. THIS IS PART 2.

VOLUME I: PART 2 WORD COUNT: 7,889k

Warnings: THIS FIC IS FICTION ONLY, Smut, smut, smut, MATURE THEMES, Heavy description of killings because most of the characters are assassins, mentions of blood, character death, A LOT OF NCT MEMBERS WILL D WORD IN THIS FIC, unprotected sex, mentions of condoms, mentions of pill, pregnancy, swearing, mentions of alcohol. Mentions of being an orphan, Not everything is proofread, apologies again. I hope I did not forget anything.

A/N: I will cut VOLUME I into three parts, just because 20k word count is not acceptable in one post hahaha. I'm sorry :( this is already PART 2 of Volume I, so i hope you guys are still here. Im sorry if it took me so long to post. Can you guess what’s the next color of the poster? :))

When Hendery resurfaced again, he brought a different kind of chaos into your life and Jaehyun’s life.

A quid pro quo. That’s what’s Hendery’s after as he plans on surprising Jaehyun in Milan. It was Jaehyun’s earned free time, and Hendery was about to ruin it. Sure Jaehyun heard about the news that Hendery revealed himself, he was curious about the Phantom who made you soft, but little did he know that Hendery was even more curious about him.

Man to man they talked like normal people, sharing a bottle of wine but the people around them had zero clue that they wanted to kill each other right then and there.

“So you killed Yangyang,” Hendery started while smelling this expensive glass of wine.

Jaehyun was just quiet. He has no plan to trigger this situation further, he knows that a snipper is on standby to kill him from afar. All he could do was judge Hendery’s appearance, he now understood how this man fooled you. Out of all the Phantoms, Hendery is the simplest. Sure he looked like a prince, moves like a rich man but… Jaehyun can easily tell that he’s different.

“Pick a face to show today. I’m not here to play games, I’m sure you’re a busy man. Want to kill me now?” Jaehyun mocks while eating a slice of apple.

“I won’t kill you… that will hurt Y/n. And that’s the last thing I want to do. How is she?” Hendery pries, pushing and pushing Jaehyun’s limits because he knows that Jaehyun will keep on ignoring him unless he mentions your name. Hendery wanted to tease Jaehyun after all. “I fell in love with her you know. Sorry, I tried to stop myself but… she’s one great person… what are you doing Jeong Yoonoh?” Hendery mocked him.

And that’s what triggered Jaehyun’s anger, but he’s still stopping himself from killing Hendery with a cheese knife. The mention of your name just reminded him how he played you like a record of that fateful night in Hong Kong.

“It was so obvious that she still has feelings for you. Why aren’t you two together?” Hendery smirked. “Is it because you’re a Jeong and she’s just a nobody?”

“She’s not a nobody— why don’t you leave Y/n’s names out of this and let’s settle this. What the fuck do you want?” Finally, Jaehyun spoke. Hendery’s smile was wide because he knew that he was in Jaehyun’s mind now.

“Simple. Give Y/n her freedom. Free her from the Jeongs or I will do the best I can to ruin your family’s name in the business world” Hendery relaxed and looked at his surroundings, admiring the fine day, “It’s a win- win for the both of us you know. You can protect your family’s image, I get what I want, Y/n is free… I mean no harm. No one has to die” he smiles.

But Jaehyun knew that there's something behind that smile. He’s a Phantom after all. Guys like him don’t do ‘win-win’ situations. Hendery wasn’t scary at all, Jaehyun thought. But he knew damn well that the Phantoms know how to play. And that put Jaehyun in a very rough situation, especially when Hendery is after you… not to mention, that he wanted to free you from the wicked world of assassination. But even though that’s his motive, he can’t just sell you off away to Hendery.

“How can I trust you?” Jaehyun sternly asked.

“You can’t. I mean no harm to Y/n, but to you and other people?” he smirked, “Don’t even get me started, you killed my friends— Look, please decide ASAP. I have places to go” Hendery said in a different tone, almost as if he’s was in a rush but he still looked relaxed. “you see Jeong Jaehyun, you’re powerless. You’re just an assassin. You’re not a powerful Jeong. But I’m giving you a power right now… a power to make a wise decision. A power to give the love of your life the freedom she deserves… Come on Jeong… think long and hard. Taking my deal is the right thing to do”

And right then and there Jaehyun saw how cunning Hendery is and how dangerous he is.

Hendery stood up and left cash on the table, enough to cover everything served on their table. “I’ll give you a week… I’m excited to see Y/n again,” he smirked and walked away.

By the time Jaehyun got back, he did not let a second go to waste and planned to kill Hendery himself. But deep down… in Jaehyun’s heart, he is considering Hendery’s offer, just so Jaehyun could give you the normal life that you deserve. He felt so powerless, he felt stupid, weak and useless.

“Don’t do it Jeong…” Taeyong started. He can see right through Jaehyun that he is considering Hendery’s offer.

“You know I hate it when you call me that,” Jaehyun crossed his arms “He can give her the life she wants hyung” Jaehyun added, not looking at Taeyong and just looking at the dark blue sky.

“Y/n loves you. That’s enough reason not to sell her off even if it’s about her freedom. She knew what she signed up for and she’s willing to get her freedom fairly… maybe she’s doing it for you”

After that small talk with Taeyong, Jaehyun went to see you and was hoping to talk to you about this matter but he was too afraid to knock on your door and tell you everything he felt. Just when he was about to leave, you opened your door and welcomed him in.

This is the first time again that you two shared a room privately. What happened after New York was both traumatic and sad for the both of you. You never even got the chance to talk about it.. or even apologize to each other. Jaehyun thought that… this might be his chance.

“You never cease to amaze me Y/n,” Jaehyun started.

“What?” you asked with a faint laugh before you sat at the edge of your bed.

“I’m still amazed with how you continue to be my weakness. How you continue to give fire to my soul,” he walked closer to you. Standing in front of you so handsomely while you sit in front of him and melt in his words.

“Is that a confession?” you joked but it was a serious question that you hoped he would answer because you too… you needed answers. You need to know if he’s still hurting about what happened to your relationship, you need to know if he’s still longing for you just as much as you long for him.

“Yes” he answered with his deep voice. So calm and sexy. “I think about you every day. I want you beside me” he reached for your face and placed a soft kiss on your cheek. A kiss that answered every question in head. A kiss that felt like a promise. A promise to do everything right this time.

He reached for your hand and sat beside you.

“This war, between Hendery and me is mainly about you. It’s your freedom… now, Im asking you. Do you want it?” he asked gently.

“Of course I do. But I want it with you”

Jaehyun smiled. Showing you those cute dimples. “Of course you’d answer that—“

“But let me talk to him Jae. You don’t know him like I do, maybe I can talk some sense out of him or —“

You watch Jaehyun smile in disbelief, combing his hair with his fingers and showing you his frustration. Clearly the sweet and calm environment was already gone.

“You were with him one time and you even failed your mission— did you already forget that happened? You don’t know him Y/n. You couldn’t see the craziness in his eyes because you are charmed by his sex appeal or whatever” His tone went louder every word and you don’t like it. This night may have answered every important question in your head but you’re not planning to have a quarrel with him. “You just have to make me jealous now, huh?” he added.

“Please leave. I’d like to rest now” you requested and Jaehyun left immediately.

In the next days, Hendery grew impatient with Jaehyun’s answer so he got bored and made some damage to one the Jeong’s factories. No one is hurt… yet. Everyone thought that Hendery would stop playing games but no, he targeted Jaehyun’s sister and Jaehyun’s mother. Scaring the shit out of Jaehyun. Of course everyone is working double time to protect Jaehyun and his family, but Jaehyun grew tired. Everyone grew tired of it. Every day, Hendery always has his kind of game, toying and playing with everyone. Even you. One day Hendery revealed his location publicly, part of his silly games and Yuta fell for it but lost the fight putting him in the hospital for a few days. And that really was the last straw.

“THAT MAN IS CRAZY! It will be better if I kill him, it will leave a trauma to Y/n—“ Jaehyun exclaims towards Chanyeol.

“This is my failed mission— I’m sure it will be better for all of us! After all, I’m the one he’s after!”

“Oh so now I’m really jealous — Chanyeol what the fuck? I just wanted the best option for her. She doesn’t know what she’s talking about. I met Hendery and you have no idea how dangerous he could get”

Chanyeol and the others are all quiet. Mark was the one enjoying the drama and so is Taeyong . “They’re definitely fucking,” Mark whispers.

“This is Y/n’s failed mission. She should finish this,” Chanyeol finally decides.

“Good luck with handling your trauma then,” Jaehyun leaves the room and bangs the door.

On the same night, you received a call from an unknown number. You had a hunch that it would be Hendery, and you’re right.

“I bet you’re already planning how to get to me,” he said.

You were silent.

“All I wanted was a chance to talk to you, and give you your freedom and that coward Jeong can’t make it happen,” he let out a heavy sigh.

“You do dirty business, that’s why” you explained calmly. You sounded worried too. Hendery was happy to hear your voice. “You also hurt my friend”

“Yeah that Yuta guy killed my bodyguards, he’s good but… I can’t let him kill me. Can you say sorry for me? Please?”

“I don’t understand you Hendery. Are you a good person or are you playing with me too”

Then you heard Hendery laugh so hard, almost as if he sounded like a crazy person. “Lets have lunch like normal people, I’ll text you the address. Good night ” he says, before he hangs up.

The next day, you told Jaehyun and Chanyeol about your conversation with Hendery. They weren’t happy about it, but it was a situation that you couldn’t dodge. It was obvious all this time, that Hendery is ahead of every plan you have and that he got everything controlled at the palm of his hands.

“I can’t track the number he used, sorry guys” Mark said.

“He is controlling us. He wanted you to come to him— and I can’t fucking believe that you’re going for it. If you want to have lunch, have lunch with me not with this psychopath” Jaehyun said calmly. He is done stressing himself out because of Hendery.

But even though Jaehyun already expressed what he thinks, you still met with Hendery secretly. Just to end this war against him and the Jeongs. This plan will most likely make Jaehyun even more mad at Hendery, but the situation is getting more and more ugly as the days go by.

You met Hendery at his favorite noodle shop. It was packed with different people, some were just enjoying their time alone, others were with their friends or family, company dinner… it was just a normal day for everyone. Including you… who’s just meeting an old friend. Something you’ve never done before.

“Back then me and the other Phantoms used to eat in this place. Good times,” Hendery started while stirring his noodles, ‘’but now we can’t do that anymore, because your friends killed my friends”

“I can’t say I’m sorry… “ is all you could say.

“Back then Yangyang was not yet successful unlike Ten and Kun, so they always feed Yangyang and buy him everything he asks them to…”

There was a short silence while you two enjoyed your food. You wanted to leave as soon as you can but you can’t seem to bring it up. Maybe… you missed having his company, maybe you missed this kind of bond. Maybe you missed this kind of awkward silence.

“Do you remember when we danced slowly in the dark while the fireworks lit up the dark sky?” he asks.

“Of course,”

“It was a hopeless day. I killed a lot of people that day, and I was really tired. I knew you were coming, then I actually met you and I instantly wanted to live my life more and shit I fell in love so quickly. But you told me you love someone else and you cant live without him. That’s Jaehyun. I wanted to kill you so bad because I can’t have you”

“Do you still feel the same way now?” You asked calmly.

“I want to kill Jaehyun now, not you. That way I can have you” Hendery smiled innocently.

“What makes you think I’ll love you like how I love Jaehyun”

“I’ll make you” he answered confidently like a crazy person.

This is not Hendery you thought…. At this point you really don’t know what kind of monster you’re facing. But the fact that he wanted to kill Jaehyun is enough reason to kill him even if it’s going to hurt like hell. Even if it’s going to be the saddest kill you’ll ever make.

In your eyes, he’s just a man blinded by love. He just wanted to be loved… but you can’t reciprocate that. After hearing everything he said, you excused yourself and went to the comfort room to breathe. Breathe and ready yourself to go for the kill finally and finish your long overdue mission. Jaehyun was right, this will leave trauma to you. You know you’re scared to kill now because you’re shaking. But just right after you get out of the comfort room, you see people running and panicking. You look for answers while you walk fast towards your table, but you see Hendery on the floor dead already. Someone shot him in the head while you were away.

And you have someone in mind already. Someone who could have done this while you were gone. A perfect timing.

When you got back to 127 house, Jaehyun was already there. He was waiting for you but you just ignored his presence and went straight to your room so you could have time for yourself after a long day. You’re not mad, you just wanted privacy and mourn for your friend. Jaehyun was just doing his job… because you couldn’t. Of course Jaehyun didn’t give you the space you asked for, he was stubborn and still welcomed himself to your dark and quiet room.

He lay beside you and held your hand… you didn’t know you needed his comfort until he made you realize. In return you kissed him on the cheek and snuggled close to him.

It was raining during Hendery’s funeral. Everyone was soaking wet, dressed in black when you and Jaehyun arrived. You didn’t have the guts to say ‘hello’ to his sisters and nieces, you didn’t want them to meet Jaehyun, the assassin that killed their brother so you two stayed in the car and paid your respects from afar.

“I’m still not convinced that he’s a bad person Jae,” You said to Jaehyun. But of course, you knew Hendery was just playing with your mind, you’re just thankful that it’s not Jaehyun’s funeral you’re attending right now.

Everything feels heavy inside. Jaehyun couldn’t take you home today, so he decided to drive away and check in to the furthest motel he could find. He knew that you were hurting and you were desperate for peace of mind, and going home to 127 house would not help you achieve that. The rain poured even harder, just as your tears continued to flow. So this is what feels like mourning. Mourning for a friend. Your only friend.

Desperate. You were desperate to forget.

“I bought noodles, let’s eat it while its hot, yeah?” Jaehyun was trying to brighten up the mood but he keeps on failing. Either way, he will not give up on you. He was lively setting up the table and kept on humming songs you love. He knew of course.

“Hey- I’ll do anything to help you. Emotionally and physically—“ he said, but you didn’t let him continue and sat on his lap. You wanted to turn him on… you wanted to turn yourself on by using Jaehyun but your mind just keeps on drifting to Hendery.

Jaehyun was startled of course, but he knew he had to stretch his patience over and over again. He did not let you succeed with your plan, he understood what you were doing. He can see the desperation in your eyes that you want to forget and divert your attention. Jaehyun wanted to help, but not this way.

He made you stop grinding on his growing bulge and kissed your forehead, “stop it. Don’t do this on your own, I’m here, talk to me” he whispered sweetly while soothing your back.

You were in tears again.

When Jaehyun finally convinced you to eat what he brought you, you two spent your day in bed, in each other’s arms. Quiet and peaceful, just how you two wanted. But when your eyes met again, he kissed you hungrily and showed you how much he craved for you. How much he missed you. How much he still loves you. He made you sit on top of him, giving you permission to use him however you want.

“See…You don’t have to sell yourself short to me, I’ll come to you” he smiled and kissed you sweetly, his hands roamed around your body and put it inside your shirt. Jaehyun knew that whenever he pinches your nipples, you go crazy and it turns you on, and whenever he brushes his fingers softly on your hard nipples it just melts you in an instant.

In return you went in between his legs and pull out his cock, gave it a good lick and made sure it was wet as fuck before you put it inside your mouth and give him a good head. You feel Jaehyun’s hand relaxed at the top of your head, petting you whenever he feels like it, and moaning shamelessly, moaning so good, letting you know that no one in this world can give him a good head except you.

You reach for his lips and give him a peck. Jaehyun wanted more but you teased him. “Come on, I wanted to kiss you longer” he pouted cutely.

“Later” you moaned while you slowly put his cock in your wet pussy. You both moaned deliciously, it has been so long since you two fucked.

“I missed you” Jaehyun said before removing your sleepwear. You were too busy to care, you grind and rode Jaehyun while he cums and while his hands roam freely on your body. Oh you miss his touch.

When you finally reached your high, you flopped on top of Jaehyun and just listened to his heartbeat. He feels warm. He feels good. And his arms feel so good around you.

You looked up to him and told him, “lets give love a second chance Jae”

All Jaehyun could do was smile and laugh, “after all that’s happened this past few days do you think I’ll let go of you again?” He kissed your knuckles and held on to you, “we will never part this time. Even if it takes killing everyone, I mean it”

Jaehyun dried and kissed away your tears, made you smile again and promised that “Hendery may have been the one who showed you the life that you want, but I will be the one that will make it happen,” you tried to avoid this conversation again, but this time Jaehyun won’t let you.

“Listen to me,” he asked sternly but still gently, “It’s not going to be easy Y/n, but I’m ready to take whatever shit my father will throw at me. I have nothing to lose… except you. When we can finally retire, I’ll turn my back away from being Jeong Yoonoh, I don’t want it”

Of course you agreed to him and decided to be together.

This is not going to be the smoothest relationship, a lot of people will die first before you two can have the freedom you want. But over the years, you and Jaehyun proved your importance to the field and they couldn’t do anything to get you to break up again. Of course Jaehyun’s father wasn’t pleased to be in love with a no one like you. Even though you’re his favorite assassin, he couldn’t let his only son marry someone nameless, who kills for a living and is only successful in life because of his generosity.

“Let them be, I’ll have her killed by the time Jaehyun becomes the boss,” are his exact words to his secretary after hearing the news of your relationship. “Let them play,”

And that is why you and Jaehyun had beautiful years of relationship together.

One fine day, Chanyeol called everyone for an important meeting. A mission that involves everyone, this will be pretty big you thought. Even Mr. Jeong’s foreign bodyguards are present, Mr. Jeong’s assistant and some more bodyguards.

Chanyeol says, starting the meeting as he enters the room, explaining to everyone that Jaehyun will finally appear in public as Jeong Yoonoh and will be introduced as the next Jeong in line in front of all Mr. Jeong’s right hand.

“We will protect and assist the Jeong family as they make a public appearance for a gathering. Yoonoh is going to be there to represent his father- I know that you guys trained together and it’s weird to protect Jaehyun”

“Tell me about it” you joked but Jaehyun looked at you with flirty eyes.

“But he’s still a Jeong too. And we made an oath that we will protect the Jeongs with all our heart” Taeyong said. “Can we all be serious now?” The leader speaks.

“Thank you Taeyong… going back to the mission…” Chanyeol continues to explain what needs to be done. You’re hearing everything fine, you understand what needs to be done. But the truth about what Taeyong said still lingers in your mind. And Jaehyun can see it in your eyes.

Jaehyun is the reason for your purpose.

“This is the first time that the big bosses are going to see Jaehyun as an adult… so that’s why Jaehyun’s appearance is a threat to everyone. Knowing far too well that the Jeong’s clan still has a successor” Chanyeol explained.

“The Prince Jaehyun” Yuta teases his friend.

“No no, more like a bait” you said, “This is a good opportunity for the business to know who’s the traitor or not. The companies that will send assassins to kill Jaehyun is the Jeong’s way to know about the truth- what a sick way”

The room went silent. And that is where everyone realized that Jaehyun may be special in everyone’s eyes, but his family use him for business and business only. Jaehyun knew everything about it, ever since he was a kid, his father never missed an opportunity to make him feel like shit. That’s why he didn’t want to be a Jeong and can’t wait to turn his back on this circus one day.

“Not to mention… The two Phantoms that are left alive are very much interested with this gathering because it’s good for business… this can be our chance to meet Ten and Kun— and Y/n can be on standby to kill the two Phantoms—“

“I’m not killing any Phantoms again Chanyeol… you know that, let Taeyong do it.” you said, looking at the floor.

“Well no one is available to do the job,” Chanyeol exclaims, “You will kill them,” and that is the end of this discussion.

“Unlike the other 5 Phantoms that has a very low profile, the entire world knows what Ten looks like because he is a socialite. Our only problem is he is heavily guarded at all times…”

The preparation for this mission took days to perfect but everyone is ready and well prepared to finally protect the Jeongs for the first time in their lives as an assassin. Everyone was ready except Jaehyun.

“Can I sleep here? I don’t want to sleep alone tonight before the big day” Jaehyun said with a soft smile. Even though you’re now openly dating each other, you two are not allowed to have a place on your own,

“Your room and bed is bigger Jae,” you said to him but you made room for him in your bed. You lay first, followed by Jaehyun who wrapped his arms around you immediately. “I like yours better. It allows me to squeeze in beside you like this” he said with a smile.

“Are you nervous for tomorrow?” You asked while patting his head softly. Letting him know that you have his back.

“I am-“ he said but you did not let him continue.

“Oh come on Jaehyun youve been an assassin for years and years now you can’t be nervous. I’m not having it” you said. But he looked serious.

“Yeah but. Not as Jeong Yoonoh — I’m not confident as Yoonoh. I’m not brave as Yoonoh” He reached for your hand and intertwined it with his, “The idea of Jeong Yoonoh is perfect. This place only knew the real me. But outside these walls, they think that I’m perfect, powerful because of my family’s name, I know how to run the business- but the truth is I know nothing. The shit that will come out to my mouth tomorrow is all scripted. It pains me to see myself like this Y/n”

And thats where you saw that he is seriously worried for tomorrow. You have no idea how to show that he has nothing to be afraid of. So you kissed him. Sweetly kissed him. And poured out your feelings into that kiss.

“Just remember that I got my eyes on you tomorrow, I’m your angel” you tried to take away his nervousness. Oh you wish you could help him even more.

First thing in the morning, Jaehyun was escorted to be with his family by Chanyeol and it was the first time ever that the 127 Squad traveled as a team with only four members. “Feels weird right?” Teayong blurted out coldly, “then no one should fuck up. Don’t let Jaehyun die today,” he reminded everyone.

As Jaehyun enjoy his time nervously with his family, the assassination squad are all in their assigned places. Mark is talking nonstop from the earpiece, Yuta and Taeyong are beside Jaehyun, keeping him safe. And you’re on standby, waiting for Ten and Kun to show up. It was one hell of a busy and nervous day.

After a few minutes of waiting, Ten showed up with an army of bodyguards. Shameless. You thought. He went straight to Jaehyun like they’re closed friends already, smiling like he doesn’t have something dirty on his sleeve.

“Jaehyun, get him to talk,” you said through the radio, but Ten was fast enough to start the conversation.

“Tell me Jaehyun— the truth and nothing but the truth only,” Ten smiled so big in front of Jaehyun, enjoying his drink, “Did your family killed my friends? as if they’re like cockroaches?”

Jaehyun was about to stand up and leave him talking, but Ten was one clever man.

“I bet Hendery gave you and your girl a rough time, he really wanted to kill you and get your girl… maybe she was really good in bed that’s why my friend went crazy in love”

After that sentence. Ten looked through your way. As if he knows how you’re on standby and ready to kill him. How could he know your exact location. Exact location. It scared you.

“The fact that you know that were together tells me that you knew too much already,” Jaehyun said calmly, “All the more reason for me to kill you dont you think?”

“Jaehyun dont fucking start a chaos now!” Chanyeol yelled through the radio, “You are Yoonoh today, not Bitter peach”

“Your friends are all crazy— that makes you crazy too” Jaehyun added.

“I’m not here to get killed. And I’m not here to start a chaos either. It’s bad for business and for the both of us,” He let out a heavy sigh with a big smile. A big mocking smile, “I’m here to invite you to my house and talk business. Consider this as the right and polite way to make business together. Without killing anyone or getting killed— let’s stop the killings here,….”he continued to talk about business, a lot of shit that Jaehyun couldn’t understand but good thing his father’s assistant was there too. Of course Ten made the invitation like it was strictly business, and fooled the assistant. Ten reached out his hand, offering him a deal in front of his father, of course Jaehyun couldn’t do anything about it.

Hendery was right after all, he’s just a powerless Jeong.

When everyone came back home, everyone is discussing and agreeing about that ‘invitation’ from Ten. It was obviously a trap. Even you think that it was trap. It was obvious that Ten is a mad man. But Jaehyun’s father was fooled too, he was fooled by Ten’s charms and business talk.

“If you’re comfortable with it, can you answer how nice Hendery was to you?” Taeyong asked politely. Giving you a cup of coffee because you badly needed one.

“He was thoughtful. Family oriented, and a gentleman in bed,” you laughed it out and said it truthfully to Taeyong. He cant believe what he just heard. He was amused.

“Does Jaehyun know,” Taeyong laughed while asking.

“Of course. That guy knows everything,”

“So do you think it’s safe for him to make business with Ten?”

“It would be his greatest mistake Tae,” you let out a sigh, “Those guys are monsters, even Hendery was but he didn’t show it to me,”

“Well then stop him from stepping a foot to that guys house,”

But of course Jaehyun couldn’t resist. As long as his father ordered it. When Jaehyun did his part to showing up to the meeting, Ten didn’t…it was a trap indeed. But Ten didn’t bail on the business deal, he still did his part, signed contract with the Jeongs, etc. he just wanted to hurt Jaehyun physically without getting his own hands dirty. That way, there’s no proof that Ten ordered the assault. Smart man. Ten’s guys tortured Jaehyun inside that big house from sun up to sun down. Sending Jaehyun back to 127 house all covered in blood, naked and you couldn’t almost recognize him. Chanyeol drove him straight to the hospital and that is the end of Jaehyun’s career as an assassin.

Only families are allowed to visit him in his room and of course his family wont allow any of you guys to come near him. For all you know, he will never be Bitter Peach again. He will be Jeong Yoonoh everyday now.

While Jaehyun was in a coma, you were pretty busy with a lot of missions here and there. The squad and Chanyeol is busy with searching for Ten, but no one is getting lucky this time around. Your anger and drive to take revenge for Jaehyun has put aside because all you want right now is his safety and for him to wake up. But even though youre not doing anything right now, you swear to kill Ten and make him pay for what he did to Jaehyun.

But now… another thing is hurting you.

Like Jaehyun… you feel like a powerless person who couldn’t even visit the love of your life in the hospital. You can see how you’re 100% and perfectly incompatible for Jaehyun. You’re nothing but someone who works for his family after all.

The wait for Jaehyun to wake up was excrutiating. Depressing and uncertain. His wounds may be healing, but hes still sleeping soundly.

“The Jeongs wont cut Jaehyun’s life line right?” Yuta expressed his frustration when he overheard an ugly rumor about Jaehyun’s family cutting his life line.

“No. Mr. Jeong won’t have a successor and his pride wont handle that” Taeyong finishes Yuta’s worries.

He was in coma for two weeks. You can’t eat, sleep or even think properly because your mind is busy worrying. And when you received the news that he finally woke up, you were already on your way for a mission and all you could do is cry in the car because of happiness but of course with a mix of anger, how could Chanyeol sent you away for a mission now that Jaehyun is awake.

While you were way, you got the news that Jahyun’s assassin days are over. His father was scared that he’d lose Jaehyun again, even before Jaehyun could fulfill his duties. You also hard the news that they removed all his things from 127 house and they only see him through video calls now … and as Yoonoh.

“It’s like they forced us to forget the friendship that we had— Jaehyun was against it. Damn he looked sad during the meeting earlier” Mark said.

“He’s currently, learning shit about his family’s business while still healing” Taeyong added.

“Well guys, I have to go now. Thanks for the news. I’m really glad he’s safer than ever. You guys look out for him… for me” you said with a heavy heart before ending the call. This mission is taking too long its frustrating you even more. You wanted to hug him so bad and comfort him, tell him that he will do great as Yoonoh. But you can’t.

Then you saw your phone light up your dark room. It was Mark who sent you a text,

“Don’t worry. We’ve planned everything already. You just have to wait for him ;)”

After that message from Mark they never called you again or texted you, you just trusted your friends and their so called ‘plan’ for you and Jaehyun to meet up. And again, the wait was brutal. The wait lasted for four months and sure did felt like he was never going to show up. All you could do is hope that this mission will soon be over so you could go home and do things your way.

Tonight, the wait is over. He’s not 100% healed, he can’t walk straight yet and his right arm is still broken.

But he brought you flowers. And wore the biggest smile. If only you knew how happy Jaehyun is right now, seeing you and holding you in his arms again.

“Hi beautiful. Missed me?” he wrapped is left arm around you and kissed you one too many times. Oh you missed those soft lips.

“Are you warm enough?” you asked with worried eyes, “Are you hurting? How are you?”

“I’m warm, but you can make it better,” he winks and started to kiss your neck.

“Okay I’m convinced you’re all well now,”

The cold night became warm and even warmer as hours go by. You and Jaehyun did not even waste a second and made love the whole night.

This was far from everything you’ve had from New York, your place was small, cramped and it wasnt fancy at all. It completely symbolizes how you feel for the past couple of months while you’re away from Jaehyun.

“I didn’t know you were coming today… I didn’t get the chance to tidy up—“ you apologize while you let Jaehyun kiss your body, feel his warm lips on your skin. It felt like you were dreaming, you almost lost him, he almost died…

“Stop it with your ugly thoughts, Im here now” he whispers beside your ear, giving you goosebumps, making your heart skip a beat. His touch is everything, it give you comfort, the assurance that you’re not dreaming and that he’s real and beside you now. He intertwined his fingers with yours, kissing it one too many times to make you believe. “I’m here” he said again and again and again. Putting your arms around his neck before he starts kissing your neck sweetly, his hands cant get enough of your being, kisses trails down from your neck to your boobs. Sipping on your nipples one by one, making it harder by the second, licking it just the way you like it and teasing you with a soft pinch without a warning just so he can see a faint smile on you face.

“Do I need to tease you the whole night just so I could see that smile?” He asked softly and proceeds to kissing your lips. You feel his hand go down in between your thighs, spreading them just the way you like it and checking your slit if you’re wet already. Of course. This man can make you wet by just a touch.

He teases you with his soft touch, touching your slit softly while he kisses your neck. Softly his fingers moved in between your thighs and dance softly on your skin, not putting anything yet inside, which make you crave for him even more. He kneeled in between your legs and spread them wide, still running his fingers on your slit to make you wetter. And without a warning, he planted a soft kiss on your inner thigh, which if course you know whats coming next… a soft lick on your cunt that soon became kisses. You feel both his hands spreading your pussy lips so he could lick you on the right places. Your body is on fire, you wanted to close your legs so bad but Jaehyun’s tongue felt so good. All this so you get hurt by the time he puts his cock inside of you.

By the time Jaehyun met your eyes again, you were catching your breath and holding on to his arm as hard as you could. “Babe, it hurts” he smiled handsomely and kissed you. You immediately stopped what you were doing and apologized, asked him if he was hurting to other places but the man in between your legs is currently so horny and is longing for your tight walls already. He kissed you hungrily, almost as if taking your breath away, and when you felt the tip of his cock by your entrance, he slowly pushed in until his whole cock is inside of you. “You’re soaking” he managed to whisper while thrusting in and out, his arms caging you while you take everything. Lips crashing every second while feeling his thick cock, listening to each other’s moans and groans, never ending touching and lust.

The night became longer when you two spent your time just talking and laughing. Tomorrow he leaves already. But he promised to fix everything and make you come home as soon he talks to the right people. He also promised that now that he’s not an assassin anymore, he can finally prove that he’s worthy of the name Jeong. He wanted to prove that Hendery is wrong, that he’s not a powerless Jeong.

“Now I know that this is not the original plan before we decided to get back again but…”

“You dont need to explain yourself Jae” you said while you snuggle and bring yourself closer to him. He accepts it by hugging you back and planting a soft kiss on your forehead.

He may not say it to you, but he is scared for himself too. Even though he promised you that he will give up his name just so he could turn his back someday, you let him shine and be Jeong Yoonoh still because this is right.

“What time do you leave?” You asked softly, careful not to break the silence.

“Around 6 in the morning? It has been a beautiful night— are you happy?” He asked. “I am. Im really happy right now” he added.

“Telling you I’m happy is an understatement,”

“Im sorry if I make your life complicated” he says, “just hang in there and we’ll have longer days and longer nights like this. For now… just let me make you happy in my own way”

Even though Jaehyun was scared for the drastic change in his life, he did it anyway. He did it even though he’s doubting himself. He did it even though he knew he’s not going to be good at it. He did it even though he misses you bad. He did it even though he’s tired. He did it. And he did with only a year of knowing the ins and outs of their business. Knowing every people involved in their company. Making it his own kingdom instead of making it control him. And of course he did this to prove to everyone that he’s the boss now.

Jaehyun changed for the better, even more respected, smarter and wiser this time.

He didn’t want to be like his father. Scary and will opt for war in an instant. Jaehyun wanted to change the system. Enough with he killings, just strictly business. But even though he’s the boss now, his father is still the last call. He cant fully change everything, not until he’s gone.

Three years in the relationship

It was half past ten already and you’re still not sure about your target for tomorrow. You scanned pages of papers over and over again, reading every word and catching every detail but you still don’t have a clear shot for what’s coming tomorrow. It’s Ten. It was the same case as Hendery’s. But this time, you know the face that you need to kill.

And you can’t wait to kill that fucker. You will strangle him with your own hands if you have to .

“You look sexy when you’re concentrating, hi,” your boyfriend came out of nowhere who’s been gone for three days but you didn’t notice because you were too busy. You’re even surprised that he went straight here, in 127 house instead of your shared place. “Still flying blind for tomorrow?” He asks while his right hand soothes your back, giving you a slight massage to somehow relieve your stress. It felt like an invitation if you’re being honest. An invitation to ‘come rest and enjoy the night with me’, but at the same time you were desperate to finish this job as soon as you can.

“I think he will really show up tomorrow, and if I could only finish this, I could get home to you tonight— are you here to pick me up? I really can’t go home tonight” you said sternly but your voice was breaking. Frustrated because you missed him so much, and now that he’s here, you only have hours to be with him.

Jaehyun chuckled handsomely at what you said, looking at you lovingly and silently proud of the woman you’ve become. “I’m not going anywhere,” he planted a soft kiss on your forehead and you immediately wrapped your arms around him. “I’ll go home alone if that’s what you want. Pomise you will come home? In one piece and safe?” he joked while spreading kisses on your neck and caging you with his strong arms.

“Yes I promise” you said but still accepting what Jaehyun is doing to you. You don’t mind how his very touch melts your whole being, how his kisses are the best persuasion you’ve ever experienced, and how his hands are all over you but somehow he’s stopping himself. He left a sweet kiss on your lips which you returned without hesitating.

When Jaehyun left you alone in the study room, you feel bad for rejecting him. You know he longs for you, you know he misses you so much, and you know that you can die tomorrow and neglecting yourself from Jaehyun’s loving company is a stupid thing to do. “Fuck” you said as you think about the moment earlier. His touch, kisses, his very presence. You missed him. So much.

And so you arranged all the papers, cleaned up the desk and went to your room to prepare everything in advance for tomorrow. Guns, knives and other important things that might save you, you packed it all and drive yourself home to Jaehyun. The preparation took a while and Jaehyun might be sleeping already but whatever, you will sleep beside him tonight. You silently walked into your shared room see him dressed in his black sleepwear, calm and peaceful. Hugging a pillow and pretending that it’s you. Oh he looked so innocent.

“Hey,” you wake him up and removed the pillow from his arms because he doesn’t need to pretend anymore. “I’m here now and I’m sorry about earlier” you apologized sincerely and hug him tightly. All of a sudden the cold room became warm.

“Hmm. It’s okay it’s not your fault” he keeps you close to him and cage you with his strong arms. Oh you missed being like this.

“How was your business meeting?” You asked because you figured it was not easy given that he was gone for three days.

“Bloody, but I stayed alive,” he joked, pretending that he’s still an assassin. “You do the same thing too, okay? Come home to me”

“I will, always” you assured him.

“Want me to assist you tomorrow?” He offered. Just because he’s worried about you, and maybe because he couldn’t handle being apart from you anymore.

“No baby, I will be fine you need rest,”

He nods and said “I love you”

“I love you”

Its been three years since you almost lost Jaehyun. The past couple of years were hard on the both of you, mainly because his family never approved you as Jaehyuns girlfriend. But Jaehyun never actually cared about what people think, but you do.

Sometimes you imagine yourself disappear in this place and get away from Jaehyun’s love. Dont get me wrong, you love Jaehyun just as mush as you love him but until now, you cant help but think that you have nothing to give to him. When he introduced you to his family formally, they did not approved and clearly hear them gasped sharply when they heard that you’re part of the 127 squad.

You see every Jeong that you knew in the room, the very Jeongs that you swore to protect with all your life. But none of them are thankful to what you do for their family.

“You will be the cause of Jae’s death I know it”

And those words from Jaehyun’s sister still haunts you. It was just a dream right now but that scene really happened. And it broke your spirit.

You face Jaehyun while he was sleeping, caressed his face softly and left sweet kisses. He no longer sleep talks and scream in his sleep you thought, little did you know its all because of you. You are Jaehyun’s peace. “Good morning, I love you. I’ll see you in a few days” you whispered and snuggled closer to him.

While you were away, Jaehyun did not expect his father wanted to see him. He was clueless of what’s going on because every business meeting was already taken care of. Nonetheless, he still went to the office and give respects.

“You wanted to see me” Jaehyun said.

“Sit son,” his said.

“How are you?” his father asked, Jaehyun answered directly and fast because he did not like small talks. “How is Y/n?” this question made Jaehyun smile. Maybe he’s here because his father finally approves. But just after Jaehyun was so happy telling his father all about you, he wasn’t so pleased to hearing that your relationship is going strong.

“I was hoping that your relationship is in shambles and that she finally come to her senses and left you but- I won’t beat around the bush anymore. I want you to meet the daughter of my good friend Johnny. They’re americans, maybe just maybe, you will realize how y/n has no match to these other women who has education a family background and power. Do it for the family. Meet her”

“That druggie? Y/n protects our family, how could you say that to her” Jaehyun defends. At least he tried.

And then his father’s secretary knocked on the door to remind his father about other errands. Jaehyun felt so powerless at that moment, he can’t even make his own father listen to him. Ever since he was a kid, Jaehyun did not like how his father controlled him and that is why he never considered himself as a Jeong. He hated being a Jeong so much.

When you came back after a failed mission, good thing Jaehyun was waiting and expecting you to arrive. Ever since he stopped being an assassin his schedule became busier than ever, but of course, now that he’s one of the boss, he’s never too busy for you.

“I need to ask you something” Jaehyun started while pouring you another glass of his favorite wine, “If I ask you to marry me-“

“No. The answer is no, Jaehyun” you sat closer to him and asked him what’s wrong and what’s troubling him. You can see it in his eyes. He wouldn’t mention marriage out of nowhere if everything was fine. “Not yet. Please. We haven’t have any peaceful years in our relationship and marriage will just make it worst I believe” You added.

But the thing is, he couldn’t just say that he’s father is making him marry someone, Jaehyun knew your insecurities of course, he couldn’t just say and be honest with you right now. So he didn’t answer any of your question. He just left a kiss on your lips and drank his wine slowly. Looking at his glass, lost in the silence like you’re not even beside him even though his hand is holding your hand.

It’s clear that something is bothering him.

Or maybe… Jaehyun really wanted to get married already?

You wont know. You don’t know.

But for Jaehyun, if you don’t want to marry him yet. That’s fine. As long as you will stay by his side and to never leave him. But little did you know, Jaehyun has a plan. If you don’t want it yet, well he will give you reasons to marry him and say yes soon.

“Lets just have one peaceful year, then lets get married” you blurted out just so you can stop worrying. His silence is choking you. He smiled and let out a cute laugh, hearing that from you, completely changed the mood and made Jaehyun happy. He is never greedy in life, he never asked for anything else, but when it comes to you, he wants all of you. That’s all he ever wanted.

“Okay… so correct me if I’m wrong but… you’re saying that we could get married some time next year?” he chuckled and teased you.

“Ugh. Yes. It’s just that… I can’t handle it when you’re like this. I love you and I want to be with you too but… you have to understand that the life we curently have is not a good life. We don’t have freedom Jae” you expressed your worries.

The wine in front of you two is completely forgotten.

“Okay. Okay. I understand.” he pulls you closer for a hug, wrapping you in his strong arms, “No pressure” he says and kissed you softly.

But even though you two compromised already, he’s still on the missions to make you want to marry him soon. And he will try until he succeeds. Hopefully.

The next day, he brought you to his sister’s brunch event, it was an awkward place to be, but you and Jaehyun wanted to see Sofi, Jaehyun’s niece and wish her a happy birthday. It was also a statement to Jaehyun’s family that he will not take any of their shits from now on. He will love whoever he chooses.

“Uncle Yoonoh is here!!!” Jaehyun shouted while catching young Sofi and lift her to the ground. The little girl was ecstatic and excited, to be carried by her uncle. She also hugged you and said hello before she invites you in and to let her lead the tour and introduced you to her friends.

“Why don’t you marry and have kids already instead of pestering me with your visits. My kids are always looking for you lately saying “uncle Jaehyun is the best when is he going to visit?” Jaehyun sister says as she makes a perfect impersonation of her kids. Jaehyun chuckled and gave his sister a kiss.

“Ive been trying” Jaehyun says with a big smile.

“To what? To getting married? To whom? To the daughter of Johnny Seo? Jeez she was your type?” Jaehyun’s sister said without hesitation. Not even thinking about you.

“No. I’ve been trying to get Y/n to say ‘yes’” Jaehyun says directly, “You do realize that were never breaking up. I’ll handle the Seos , I’m sure I can make business with them-“

“You’ll gain nothing from her Jae. Look at you now, you’re already suffering. You have the Phantoms and the Seo’s choking you hard… and now the girl you love doesn’t want to marry you? Ungrateful bitch”

“Its love. She has her reasons. I’ll try and try” Jaehyun says with a smile.

“Whatever your plan is, do it faster. By the time that Seo girl takes over her father’s business, we’re screwed Jae-“

“Tell me, why are we in debt with the Seos again?” It was an honest question, “all I know is they lend us money back when father’s business isn’t going well”

“Nothing special. Johnny Suh is one greedy motherfucker. His daughter is ready to get married and of course pairing her to the heir of the powerful Jeong family is the best way to be richer”

“That’s it?” Jaehyun asked.

“Yep. No plots,” his sister laughs.

“This is our word Jae. It’s already fucked up, it doesn’t need a plot anymore. Dad made you an assassin and made you kill for the family and suddenly you’re the boss, haven’t you learned anything?”

It was quiet for a moment. Then his sister said something unexpected, something he didn’t expect shed say.

“Stop caging Y/n Jae… Don’t you think she deserve so much better than this? If you really love her, set her free. This is not a place for her, she earned her freedom. And marrying you just makes her permanently imprisoned under the Jeongs…. you want a plot?” she smirked, “picture this. Someday, when she’s all fed up with all of this shit, she will leave you and you can’t do anything about it because you love her”

After knowing the truth about the Seos and after hearing the ugly truth from his sister, Jaehyun drowned himself with work and stayed in his office alone for a few days. It was like his head was splitting into half. One second he’s thinking about business and deals wih the Seos. Then the next minute he’ thinking about you. It wasn’t easy. He was trained to be an assassin and fix things with a gun or a knife, but this… this cannot be easily fixed with violence and Jaehyun knew that damn well. It’s frustrating him,

“Hey-“ you startled Jaehyun. He was lost in all the paper work that he needs to finish. His mind is already tired, but the one giving him rest and peace has entered the room. His mood completely changed when he saw you. “What’s up?” You added.

You sat on the vacant table beside him and watch him undo his sleeves and roll them up. He’s ready to call it a day already, you’re here.

Jaehyun stood in between your legs, making you wrap your arms around his neck, and your legs around his waist. Lips immediately found its place on your neck, down to your chest. “Wanna have sex on this table?” Jaehyun asked while kissing you sweetly. You can only nod and agree to his crazy idea. Not to mention, its been too long since you two did something like this.

He was quick to remove your pajama, leaving your shirt and panties on. Obviously, this was a stress release, you can see it in his eyes that he was stressed for days already and now that he got time he’s just craving for your body and craving for you in general. You went down from the table, kneeling in front of Jaehyun and help him undo his belt. His Calvin Klein boxer briefs always looked sexy on him you thought.

“You dont need to do this” he bend down and kissed you on the lips before you pull out his cock and give it good lick. Making sure its all wet and hard, watching Jaehyun from below… watching him became weaker every lick that you give him. And when you finally put it in your mouth, his hands are both relaxed on your head, pushing in gently as possible so he could reach the depths of your throat.

Jaehyun is not hard to please, he loved everything that your tongue is doing to his cock. Sucking and licking, it takes his breath away.

“I’m gonna cum” he warns you and made you stand and bend you on the table. He was quick to pull your panties to the side and thrust inside you, hitting you with fast thrust that made the table rock, you thought it will break any second. Then he pulled you closer to his chest, putting your hands behind you, his lips on your neck as he continues to fuck you good while he cums.

Slowly, while he rides his high he continues to plant kisses on you, “your turn” he says with ragged breaths. He made you lay down the table and spread your legs wide, watching his cum come out of your cunt, playing it with his fingers, turning you on while he bend down and proceeds to suck you boobs. You can feel that even though he already came, he’s still hard, very hard. And when he thrusted in again, the stretch was incredible.

“You’re so hard, fuck Jae,”

“Does it hurt?” He asks while he continues to fuck you, his lips on your lips, his hand busy with kneading your boobs and teasing your nipples. Everything was too much.

You and Jaehyun went on for a few couple of rounds. Few, but dirty and wild. It felt like you bith have the energy to go on and on, fuck like teenagers and do anything you could think of.

“Can you stop taking pills? I’ve read that, its affecting your emotions its not healthy,” he says sweetly.

“Woah there, since when did you know so much about these stuff?” you kissed him sweetly on the neck, reaching for his cock and checking if he’s still good for another round. “Well can you stop cumming inside me?” You joked, but your hands got him on chokehold but not for long. He was on top of you again, kissing your body and spreading your legs.

“Then I’ll wear a condom just stop taking those and I’ll try not to cum inside you, just please be healthy Im worried” he said before he puts it in for the nth time tonight.

“Hi beautiful”

Your heart beat so fast in a matter of seconds the moment you hear his deep voice. You smiled and continue to prepare your things.

“I can see you smiling from this hidden camera planted on the lapshade… I’ll tell Mark to hack this for good-“

You chuckled at what you just heard, “can you please stop hacking Mark’s shit and let the kid work?— let us work, rather”

“I just miss you” he said.

“Miss me? You could have call me—“

“I’ve been calling you. The moment you landed on Thailand” you tried looking for your phone the moment he mentioned it but you cant see it on your desk, “baby, its at the back pocket” you can hear him laugh at you. “Oh can’t wait to take care of you for the rest of my life, anyway, Mark is on I should go. I love you. Come home, alright?”

Right before you could even say that you love him, Mark got his control with the system and jumped right into whatever details you need for the big day tomorrow.

The call was at least 3 hours. Full of plotting and brainstorming, nothing about this big plan was rushed. If there’s one thing that you learned about this whole thing, it’s perfect timing. Ten is hard to find, and it took you months to get a head start. Ten was even harder to track, and it took you a few more months to keep track on him… all because of perfect timing.

Revenge. “Happy Revenge day” you murmured to yourself.

A steady look through the snipper, breathing and out calmly as you watch Ten, the first Phantom, flirt with his lover at his private penthouse.. well, it’s not private anymore, because tonight you’re gonna invade that.

“Green light,” Mark’s happy voice was clear through your earpiece. “Are you going to kill his lover too?” Mark asks.

“Yeah,” you answered calmly, “he wanted to kill me too when he thought he killed Jaehyun”

By the time you remember how Ten tortured Jaehyun, you pulled the trigger… and killed his lover. You watch Ten for a few minutes to do everything he wanted.. cry, call for help, shake his dead lover, watch him get scared and take cover.

As long as you watch him suffer.. as long as you see the sadness in his eyes because the love of his life died right before his eyes… he’s good as dead to you.

There’s a part of you that you didn’t want to kill Ten, not because youre nice. But because you wanted to make him suffer even more and live with the pain in his heart forever.

“Consider this as mercy,” you whispered through the cold air, wishing that Ten could hear it. And in a matter of second, your mercy was released. And you watch Ten bleed on his expensive marble floor.

It’s done.

5 Phantoms dead… and there’s only one left.

You smiled at the thought of your achievement. You smile as you watch the beautiful sunrise in front of you.

When you got home everyone applauded you for killing Ten, they couldn’t believe that you did all the work alone from investigations to finally killing Ten. He was a bit of a work you thought, he was hard to track, hard to find, and hard kill. But you saw his weakness… because you two are the same. You two have one thing in common.

Your lovers are your weakness.

“I’m happy you’re here beside me,” Jaehyun whispers while he pats your head softly.

You squeezed him and hugged him tighter.

“And since, it was such a beautiful kill,” you both giggled, “we should celebrate, we should go to a fancy restaurant tomorrow and celebrate” Jaehyun says excitedly but you looked like you’re not interested, maybe you’re tired, or maybe you just wanted to get on with it as soon as possible and find Kun.

“What do you know about Kun?” You asked Jaehyun.

“Well, he’s the riches among them. He knows all sorts of thing. A real family guy- he can fly a plane”

“Well maybe he’s not down here you know—“

“What? Do you think he lives on the clouds?” Jaehyun joked. “Please babe, you just got home. Take a breather, rest” Jaehyun once again provided calm to your life. And while you two enjoy each other’s warmth in his cozy bed, he’s playing with your engagement ring and kissed you good night.

He’s more than happy that you came back and now you’re safe in his loving arms.

The next day, he brought you to a fancy restaurant and had dinner together. It was a public space which you think was beautiful. Normal people eat on public spaces like this. They chat, dine, laugh until their stomachs hurt… it was all refreshing to you. And Jaehyun knew that.

That’s why he’s smiling from across the table, looking at you while you look at the people around you. He loves seeing you like this.

“Have you ever thought of early retirement Jae?” You asked him with a smile while he drinks wine.

“As an assassin? No.” He answered truthfully and poured you another glass of wine. “I would rather be Bitter Peach than Jeong Jaehyun”

“Sorry I forgot-“ he reach for your hand and told you its fine. He understands that you’re overwhelmed with the surroundings.

“You know while you’re gone.. me and Taeyong.. weve been growing tomatoes and herbs,” he had a proud smirk before he reaches his phone from his pocket and showed you pictures of what he has been doing in the gardens. “I’ve thought of someday having a winery…”

“That sound cool,”

“Have a winery while growing old with you” he added.

“Well, that’s beautiful” you said while he reaches for you slowly and give you a kiss.

But after that beautiful kiss you suddenly dropped on floor.

Your nose was bleeding and slowly you’re loosing air.

Slowly your vision fades out. You can’t move but your mind is telling you to stay awake. “Baby! Dont you dare close your eyes!” You hear Jaehyun yell at you, but even though he’s yelling and slightly slapping you to help you stay awake, you felt useless.

Then you coughed blood.

Jaehyun is already on the phone with Mark, asking for help. “Mark hurry up— she’s bleeding so much!” Jaehyun yelled through his phone.

You watch him try his best.

You saw his perfect clothes got stained with your blood.

And that was the last thing you saw before you closed your eyes.

Thank you so much for reading this work of mine! If you love what you read, please leave something in my inbox and tell me how you feel! CLICK THIS LINK. I hope we can practice, give and take.

Stay tuned for the next part! -B.

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