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literaryfaeriecorner · 3 years

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02/21/2021: Promotions, Old Friends, and Yellow School Buses

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February 21st, 2021

somehow i received a promotion at work last Friday even though i am literally probably one of the LEAST motivated people teaching at that school... fuck. so... now, instead of just being a regular-schmegular teacher, i am now the '6th grade head social studies teacher' which means that i have to run planning meetings for the social studies team, attend morning meetings discussing whole-grade growth and failings, and solutions for how we're going to get the kids to... not suck. uuuuuuggggghhhhhh!!! and this is for the rest of the year and the next!!!!

apparently, i am the 'perfect person' for this position because all of my classes have consistently performed better than the rest... but between you, me, and the entire internet, that speaks more to the abilities of my students than my own personal abilities as a teacher. i don't believe i'm a sucky teacher or anything but the fact remains that between work, grad school, delusional lovesick-related episodes, mental illness, and other varying distractions, i am not Doing The Best I Can. in fact, i'm literally in survival mode 95% of the time. the other 5% of the time, i'm in manic-as-fuck mode. so... do i really DESERVE this promotion? who even fucking knows? i like to believe, however, that i'll eventually figure out how to bullshit this new responsibility as well and no one will be the wiser. i mean, if this promotion came with a financial boost as well, i'd be more inclined to not fuck it up but, like... i'm doing more work for the same weak ass pay... i'm not as motivated with kind words and encouragement than i would be with a solid boost to my pay grade. anyway... whatever.

i was on tumblr the other day (i am fasting from all social media sites during the day for Lent but tumblr doesn't count because i literally just reblog five or six posts into the void, look at sad literature quotes, and log out just to do it all over again the next day... i am not addicted to tumblr as i am to twitter, instagram, pinterest, and linkedin... yes, linkedin. my quest to escape my job has led me down a very weird and addictive path) and i came across this post by user beetlejuices:

"isn't it all about old friends? like everything? all of it?"

and it is. i think so. i really do.

one of the things i've been conscious of in my early adulthood is that i am still chasing after the friendships i had in middle school. i wrote about this two Lents ago too. there is a memory that i remember so vividly in middle school and it reminds me constantly about how i felt so loved and appreciated and like the world couldn't go on without me if i somehow left or disappeared or went away. i think about it all the time. that is how freeing and loving and whole it is. just a simple memory of being three hours late to school (after a huge, blown out argument between parents who should've divorced years ago) and being startled by a flood of texts that starting pouring in at 7 that morning.

ashley: YOOOO where r u? they snagged all the donuts from the corner store!

alysha: you missed the bus this morning?

ashley: i bought donuts off eman 4 u... say im the best :D

kiera: U MISSED CRYSTAL'S FAT HEAD ASS SLIP DOWN THE STEPS LMAOOO

kiera: u're always here early u good?

alysha: are you coming 2 school today?

ashley: are u ok?

Christyl: don't forget we have a test in math!! where are you?

kiera: babe?

ashley: are you ok? why is ur phone off?

alysha: i just talked to ashley are u ok?

Christyl: where r u?

kiera: i just talked to ashley r u ok?

kiera: none of ur sisters r here either... u ok?

ashley: i'll call again @ lunch

alysha: pls be safe

Christyl: i'll tell the teacher you're sick and maybe you can take it tomorrow

Christyl: are you ok?

and even more messages that were sent during and inbetween classes... i thought it was a bit too late (and too time consuming) to respond to them all individually so after being signed into school three hours late, i decided to wait for all my friends at our table in the cafeteria to surprise them before explaining my mess of a morning. i was nervous because i thought they would be mad at me for some reason. but as soon as they saw me, ashley, alysha, kiera, and christyl, they came barreling towards me screaming my name. it was an entire scene. people looking at them crazy and then raising their eyebrows at me, not seeing what the big deal was. i probably looked the same exact way that i did the day before. unspectacular, bookish, awkward. they couldn't see what the big deal was. it embarrassed me but it thrilled me at the same time.

they nearly knocked me to the floor pushing each other to get to me first trying to steal the first hug. in the end, i stretched my arms out as far as i could and they all fell into them. we probably looked a mess. a tangle of brown legs, arms, frizzy hair, loose braids, and scuffed dress shoes. i remember feeling so loved and wanted. i felt bigger and grander than i was. i had stopped the world for five entire minutes and i didn't do anything. i was just existing.

i don't really talk to any of the girls anymore. i follow them on social media and i wish them happy birthday every year and we're all on each other's close friends list on insta... so i still know a few, if not all, of their secrets... but we'll probably never be as close as we were in middle school. and that's ok. i still love them as much as i did when they tackled me in the lunch room that day. i still root and cheer for them like we still spend every night after school on the phone for hours talking shit and planning presidential campaigns and gossiping about boys. i will never forget that day in the lunchroom. ever. and, like i said, it has only occurred to me now, as a young adult, that i've been chasing that kind of friendship and sisterhood since it happened.

i like to treat all my friendships as mini-romances. i remember a tweet that said, "friendships ARE romance," and i agree. i think i'm in love with all of my close friends, if not all of my friends. it's embarrassing (just a bit) but i have probably fallen in love with all of my friends at least once or twice. this is especially true for my group of college friends (at this point, they are really family). i have been in love, at least once, with all eight of them throughout our four years. i don't actually find this embarrassing like i said earlier. what's embarrassing is that this information might embarrass other people which, in turn, would thoroughly embarrass me. but the fact itself doesn't embarrass me. that is how i am. i fall in love and out of love at breakneck speeds. i think it's important to be a little bit in love with your friends.

i really enjoyed being in undergrad and planning literal dates between all eight or nine of us. and we would call it that. "what are we doing for our date next weekend?" "so who's going on the date tomorrow?" "are we cancelling the date or does the weather not matter?" (the weather always mattered.) my favorite college date was valentine's day senior year. we all went to korean-style karaoke and ordered so much food and drink we could barely stand to sing. we were all sat around the tv singing horribly to mariah carey or beyonce or rapping to nicki minaj verses. we took so many bad pictures and tone deaf videos and we kept leaning or hugging or holding each other's hands. that's another thing i love about my college family. most of us are touchy-feely people. i am a touchy-feely person. i'm southern and my mom is ridiculously gooey so one of my love languages, inevitably, is touch. i, usually, reign it in A LOT unless i have a partner but in college, i somehow discovered a whole group of people who loved to kiss each other on the cheek and hold hands and lean on other people, and lock arms. i felt at home. really.

maybe it's not only about old friends, though. maybe it's about feeling at home.

there was another post on tumblr and i think about it a lot. it's a screenshot of a tweet from twitter user @HumbleCore.

"HUGE NEWS: finally found my best friend from middle school on FB. We've both been looking for each other for over a decade. I told her I think about her whenever I play any boardgame or drive by a church. She told me she uses my name as her password at work. A perfect reunion."

when i read that the other night, i cried. i don't know why. it was heavy and ridiculous and i was worried my roommates would hear me. i don't know why i cried. at all. and even typing it out like that made me want to cry again. the feeling is not as strong or as overwhelming as it was the first time but it's still there.

i think about a best friend i had in first grade. even before i thought of ashley as my best friend (i have known Middle School Ashley since the first grade. i thought we were destined to be best friends forever and ever and ever, which is what i wrote in her middle school yearbook). his name was Malik. or Malique. my memory fails me. but anyway, i loved him like crazy. we didn't do anything without the other. we shared lunch together, we HAD to be partners on every field trip, i cried when Ms. Sanchez moved my seat from his in an effort to stop us from disrupting her lessons and i hated her for an entire week. (a very long time from a first-grade perspective.) even now, i think about him whenever i go to petting zoos or farms and when i ride on yellow school buses with my students.

Malik/Malique was my first kiss. we were hiding from Ms. Sanchez and the other chaperones so we could pet the goats one last time. while we were hiding behind a barn, he kissed me. "for good luck," he said. and then we sprinted across the farm to get back to the goats. and we pet them again before Ms. Sanchez found us and ordered us back on the big yellow school bus where we held hands for the entire hour-long ride back to school.

it's very silly to think now but in high school when i was trying to determine whether i loved my first boyfriend or not i remember thinking, "well, does he make me feel like Malik/Malique?" it's silly but sweet. at fourteen, still comparing the way he made me feel behind a barn at 5 years old to how another boy, years and years later, made me feel. it is silly but i think it's sweet.

i don't actually have any interest in finding Malik/Malique or knowing for certain what he does or how he's doing because i seriously doubt i had such an impact on his life, but i hope he's well and alive and happy because that's what i always naturally hope for when i pass petting zoos or farms or see bright yellow school buses.

so, yes. i think everything, us, our relationships, the entire world, is about old friends. all of it. every last bit of it.

i have a whole-grade data analysis, 300 pages of reading, and two mini-papers for classes to finish before tonight so i'm going to get going... i just wanted to write about old friends first.

#on love #on friendship #on teaching #on community #stream of conscious #crushes

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branlovestowrite · 6 years

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Complicating Factors: Chapter 6

This is my WIP that I have been posting over at FanFiction.Net. I am reposting the chapters here as I slowly start to write more. Mad props (do people still say that?) to @kmomof4 for being my beta reader/cheerleader. Good things coming. I hope you enjoy this chapter for now.

Complicating Factors

Rating: M for language and smut in later chapters

Summary: Emma Swan is a single mother trying to contact her ex and father of her child, Neal Cassidy. While she expected some awkwardness when meeting Neal’s mother, Milah Gold, she never expected the undeniable attraction she feels toward Milah’s younger boyfriend, Killian Jones. No Magic, Modern AU. Captain Swan.

Previous Chapters: Ch1 Ch2 Ch3 Ch4 Ch5

Also on fanfiction.net.

Monday morning, just after she parked the Bug at Henry's daycare, Emma's phone rang. She didn't recognize the number.

"Hello?"

"Miss Swan."

"Mr. Gold."

"Yes."

Conversation with this man was painful. At this pace, it would take forever to wrap up this call. She opened her mouth, ready to cut to the chase, when he beat her to it.

"I've heard from my son. He wishes to meet his child. This will not be done in a public place, as there are still some outstanding warrants for his arrest. I will select the location and send you the details. You are not to share this information with anyone, particularly your friend Detective Nolan."

Emma was stunned. "How did you..."

"I have my ways, Miss Swan. Do you agree to these terms?"

"Hell no! I'm not going to some random location with my son and no one knowing our whereabouts."

"Mommy!" Henry scolded. "Hell is a bad word!"

"Nice to see my grandson isn't as uncivilized as his mother."

"Listen buddy," Emma said through gritted teeth. "You don't get to judge me or my parenting ability. If Neal wants to meet Henry, he's going to have to face some public exposure. I am not going along with your suggestion. And I don't appreciate you stalking me. You may be some rich lawyer, but you are not above the law."

"No one is stalking you. I did some due diligence to make sure you were who you said you were. That included investigating your acquaintances. Trust me, I have committed no crime."

This man was infuriating. How did Milah stay with him so long? That thought gave her an idea. "I'll meet him if Milah can come with me. And if I can share the location with my friend Regina."

Gold was silent for a few minutes. "Fine," he said with a groan. "But my philandering ex-wife cannot bring her pathetic Irish boyfriend."

"Deal," Emma replied. "When and where?"

"Sunday evening at 5:00. I will send you the location details that morning. Only your friend Regina can know the location. You and your son will not be in danger."

"And Milah?"

"No harm will come to Milah this week."

His words made Emma uneasy, but she agreed and ended the call.

She got out of the car and helped Henry out of his seat. They walked inside, and were met by Mary Margaret at the entrance to the classroom. "Good morning you two! How are you doing?" Henry's teacher was always upbeat, even early on a Monday.

"I'm alright," Emma replied, "other than just having one of the strangest conversations of my life a moment ago."

"What happened?"

Recalling Gold's warning about not letting David know, Emma hesitated. "Neal's father called me back. Nothing yet, but he was very cryptic. That man is kind of creepy."

"Oh, that's not a good way to start the week. Hope your days starts looking up."

"Thanks Mary Margaret." Emma looked for Henry, who had already run off to play with his friends. "I'll see you later, kid!"

"Bye mom!" Henry replied without even looking her way.

Emma turned to leave, but her friend stopped her. "Hang on a minute. Are you guys available to come over for dinner tomorrow night?"

"On a Tuesday? I don't know. We had a crazy weekend, and I really need to get Henry back on his routine."

"Oh please! We really want you guys over."

"We were just there a couple weeks ago." Emma looked suspiciously at her friend. Mary Margaret was never good at keeping secrets. "What's the real reason?"

The petite brunette looked sheepishly at the floor. "Okay, you got me. David told me you met his partner Graham the other day. I was hoping to have you and Henry over for dinner the same night as Graham. Kind of an informal date. That was actually the motivation behind the last invite, but Graham had to cancel last minute."

"A setup? Really?"

"Come on Emma! David told me how you and Graham were looking at each other when you met. He's a really good guy, and so good looking. And he's interested in you. Why not take a chance? This could be your happy ending!"

"Henry is my happy ending. I don't want to date until he's older."

"But Ruby told me you went on a date this past weekend."

"Of course she told you about that. It was a date, but not really. And besides it didn't go anywhere. I'm not interested in a relationship right now."

"What are you so afraid of, Emma?"

"You know my story. I have every reason to be afraid of opening up to someone."

Mary Margaret looked physically in pain. She always seemed uncomfortable when talking about Emma's past. Almost as if she felt guilty on behalf of all the people who'd done her friend wrong. "Please, Emma," she asked in a more subdued tone. "If not for yourself, then for me and David. It's just dinner."

Emma hated upsetting her friend. She heaved a deep sigh and said "Alright, I'll be there. But you have to let me bring something."

Mary Margaret's chipper demeanor returned almost instantly. "You can get dessert!" Another parent walked in then. The classroom was starting to fill up. "6:00 tomorrow night, okay?"

"We'll be there."

Monday morning, Liam went with Killian to his flat- no, not his, Milah's flat, and helped pack up his things. Beyond his clothing and a few electronics, he really had no personal possessions. It was a good thing that the apartment he'd rented was furnished. Liam helped him take these things to a storage unit, since the younger Jones could not move into his new place until later that week. In the meantime, he packed a suitcase with the basics and settled into a hotel room. It was not as plush as Liam's accommodations, but it was the best Killian could afford.

Liam left that afternoon on a train to New York. Unused to being alone, Killian was at a loss for what to do with himself. Just as he was about to call Milah and beg her to have dinner with him, Rob called.

"Hey Mate!" He answered, thankful for the interruption.

"Killy, what are you doing tonight?"

Killian cringed. Rob was Liam's old school friend and had picked up the annoying nickname Liam insisted on perpetuating. "I'd prefer it if you didn't call me that. But to answer your question, I am doing nothing."

"Great. Why don't we meet for a pint? Catch up since it's been a while? After all, I went out on a limb and vouched for you on that sublet. Need to make sure I'm not about to burn a bridge."

"Come on mate, have more faith in me than that."

Rob chuckled. "Fair enough. Head over to the pub. I'll be along in a bit."

Grateful for a chance to get out of his own head, Killian grabbed his wallet and headed to the pub. He was only there about twenty minutes, still working on his first beer, when Rob walked in.

"Good to see you," Killian said.

"Likewise." Rob sat at the table and motioned for the server. After he'd ordered his beer, he turned back to Killian. "I'm sorry I haven't been in touch lately. Life has just become so busy with Roland and now Regina."

"No need to apologize, mate. Congratulations, by the way, on your marriage. I'd love to meet your wife someday."

"You'll have to come over for dinner. Perhaps after you get settled in your new place?"

"I'd like that. Thank you for helping me find that. I'm sure I would have been searching for weeks if you hadn't helped out."

"Glad to do it. The current occupant is an old friend of mine, Will. We met when I lived in that building."

"You lived there?"

"Indeed. Marian and I bought the apartment with a settlement we received from her father's estate."

"And you still own it?"

"Yes, Emma's renting it now."

"You know Emma?"

"Well of course. Didn't Liam tell you he met her at our house?"

"He told me he met her while he was having dinner with you and Regina. I assumed it was at a restaurant and she just happened to be there."

"Even your revered older brother doesn't have that much skill with women," Rob said with a chuckle. "Honestly, I was surprised he asked her out."

"Why do you say that?"

"She just doesn't seem his type. In truth, I feel like you would be a better match for her. Now that you've broken up with Milah, perhaps you should pursue Emma. She might kill me if she knew I said this, but she could use someone in her life to care for her."

Killian sputtered a bit after hearing these words. "I...I just broke things off with Milah. I'm not quite ready to pursue a new relationship."

"Fair point," Rob said. "It's likely for the best. Emma is important to Regina and myself. I only want her to be with someone who won't hurt her. You're probably not ready for that."

"Hang on there, mate. Sounds like you are insulting my honor as a gentleman. If I were to pursue Emma, I would never do anything to hurt her."

"I'm glad to hear of it. Maybe later, if the timing is right. Now, then, let's order some food."

Despite the inauspicious start, Monday was a good day for Emma. She wrapped up a case she'd put on hold the previous week while pursuing Chad. Ashley started, and ended up being a huge help in the office. Leroy told Emma she was off the payroll officially since she was doing so well with her case load and Ashley had already proven herself. Emma was filling a niche in the office, pursuing cases that Mu and the other agents considered too "small time." They weren't as lucrative, but they were usually easy to resolve, and the money she made from them added up quickly. I was all rather mundane, which affirmed Emma's original assessment that working in the bail bonds industry was much more exciting on TV and in movies.

Taking advantage of her newfound job flexibility, Emma left early on Tuesday afternoon after she wrapped up another case. She was looking forward to a few hours to herself before picking up Henry. She went to the grocery store and picked up the ingredients to make chocolate cupcakes. Emma didn't bake very often. She'd never learned to bake as a child; no had taken the time to show her. But during the two years she'd lived with Neal, they'd had a neighbor, Mr. Perkins, who took a liking to Emma. He was a widower and said his grandkids never came to visit. Perkins owned a bakery in his younger years, and he shared some of this knowledge with Emma. Baking was now a soothing ritual for Emma, and she thought of Mr. Perkins every time she did.

Arriving back home, she calculated that she had two and a half hours before she had to leave to get Henry. Plenty of time. She went into their small kitchen and got to work. She was quite happy with the finished creations. The recipe was based on her favorite hot beverage: chocolate cupcakes with whipped icing and a sprinkle of cinnamon. Mary Margaret and Henry both loved them, and thinking of their joy upon seeing these made Emma smile. She left the cupcakes on the counter as she went to her room to change. After she was satisfied with her appearance, she re-entered and began looking for the cupcake carrier. It was a Christmas present from Mary Margaret. It didn't get much use, but Emma knew her friend would notice if she brought the cupcakes over without using it.

Henry was excited to see her when she came to pick him up. She didn't see Mary Margaret, and asked one of the other teachers where her friend was.

"She left a little while ago. I think she's sick."

"Oh. I'll give her a call. Thanks." Emma was concerned about her friend, but also felt a little excited that she might not have to be a part of the setup. It wasn't that she disliked Graham. She agreed that he was very good looking. She just didn't like being set up.

Once they were in the car, and Henry was gushing excitedly about the cupcakes, Emma pulled out her phone and dialed her friend.

"Hi Emma! You on your way?"

"Well, one of the other teachers said you went home sick today, so I was calling to check on you first."

"Oh, that was nothing. I'm fine now."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive. Head on over."

"Okay...see you soon." Emma hung up, buckled her seat belt, started the car, and headed to the Nolan's house.

Mary Margaret and David didn't live far from the daycare, and Emma arrived shortly after she’d ended her call. Her friends lived in a cute townhouse. There was no driveway or garage, and Emma had to park in the street. That was her least favorite thing about this location, but she shrugged it off and walked around the car to help Henry out and grab the cupcakes.

David answered the door before she could even knock. "Hey guys! Glad you could make it."

"Hi Uncle Davey!" Henry said. David leaned down for a hug, and Henry responded by wrapping his arms around the man's neck and lifting his feet from the ground. He dangled for a moment before David laughed and picked the boy up.

"Sir Henry! My little knight! Have you been practicing your swordsmanship?"

"No," Henry pouted. "Mommy took my toy sword from me."

Henry had a sword made of foam, which David had given him last Christmas. Emma didn't like her son having something that was designed to harm others, even if it was only made of foam, and she'd confiscated it and stored it on the top shelf of her closet. Hearing this now, David looked appalled.

"Emma," he said. "How is he supposed to become a proper knight if he doesn't practice his skills?"

"He can have it back when he's a little older. It's not a toy meant for a four-year old."

Henry looked sad, but David whispered something in his ear. The boy immediately perked up and begged to be let down. He ran to the living room as soon as he was free.

"What'd you say to him?" Emma asked.

"Just that I have wooden swords in the living room."

"Oh, that's great David. Let's take away the foam weapon and give him one made of wood."

"I won't let him take it home. I just thought maybe he and I could practice in the backyard for a bit. If he learns proper use of a sword, he won't use it to hit others."

"You sure?" Emma looked at him skeptically.

"I am. My brother and I had toy swords when we were his age, and neither of us were permanently scarred. And I can guarantee you that he and I were much harder on one another with those than Henry could ever be."

"Fine," Emma conceded. "How is James, by the way?" James was David's twin brother. She'd only met him twice. They were as different personality-wise as two brothers could be.

"He's fine. Living in LA. Engaged to some rich guy's daughter, but I'm pretty sure it's just part of a deal so he can become partner in his firm."

"Well...good for him."

They walked into the living room, where a very excited Henry was showing the swords to Mary Margaret and Graham.

"Can we go practice, Uncle Davey?"

"Absolutely!" He nodded to his wife. "Let us know when you want us back in to eat."

"Will do," Mary Margaret said with a smile. No sooner had the back door closed then she looked to Emma and Graham and said "well, I have a lot to do. I'll be in the kitchen if you need me."

"Wait!" Emma walked toward her friend and handed her the cupcake carrier. "Do you need any help?"

"Oh, no, I'm good. You stay here and keep Graham company."

She hurried away then. Emma smiled awkwardly at the very obvious setup. She walked over to the couch and sat at the end, near the chair Graham was occupying. Graham looked just as uncomfortable as she did.

"So..." she began. "It's good to see you again."

"You too," he said. "How is your job going?"

She smiled and relaxed a little. "It's going good." She talked to him about her job, and he reciprocated, telling her how he'd come to join the Boston police department and worked his way up to detective. His manner was easy, and she found talking with him was very enjoyable.

When the conversation came to a lull, she decided to change the subject. "Did David try to hide the fact that this was a setup from you? Mary Margaret tried to with me."

Graham laughed. "The first time he did. Then I had to cancel because I got called in for a case, and he told me everything the following day. He didn't make any pretenses this time."

"How long have you known David?"

"A few years, but not well. We've only been partners for a month."

"And he's not scaring you off with these setups?"

"So far it's only been you, and I can't really complain."

His comment made her blush involuntarily. "They're always trying to set me up. I love them, but it can be annoying."

Her comment seemed to offend him. He looked wounded. "I don't want to be a source of irritation, even indirectly."

"Oh, no, I didn't mean it like that. You're not irritating me at all. I'm having a good time."

His face relaxed. "Sorry if I overreacted."

She gave him a smile. "I'm not always the most eloquent person."

"Would you like to have dinner sometime? Maybe free from the well-meaning intentions of our mutual friends?"

Emma paused. She meant what she'd said the day before. She didn't want to date until Henry was older. But she really liked Graham. And she suddenly realized that she hadn't thought of Killian all day. Going out with Graham might help cure her of this unhealthy attraction to Milah's ex. "Yeah," she replied. "I'd like that."

The day had come to move into his new apartment. Killian rented a truck and loaded it up with all his possessions, which fit in five boxes. Looking at the small remnants of his life. He felt more lost that he ever had during his time in the Navy, or when he and Liam were diving on shipwrecks and camping on strange beaches. The more time he spent without Milah, the more he realized how much of himself he'd lost in the last ten years.

The other times he and Milah had broken up never felt like this. He would spend the first few days pursuing meaningless unions with other women and drowning his sorrows in a bottle. The longest they were ever apart was six months, and that was only because he took a job as a guest lecturer at a school in South Carolina. This time Killian was trying to do better. He was abstaining from rum and avoiding other women. Part of him knew that he was doing this because he didn't want to ruin his chances with Emma. He couldn't stop thinking about her after his conversation with Rob.

He and Rob had never spent much time together, despite living in the same city for so many years. Liam and Rob were three years older than Killian, and Rob had moved to the States long before Killian. He found now, however, that he was glad to have a friend in the city. He enjoyed Rob's company and looked forward to growing their friendship. And he was flattered that Rob thought he might be a good fit for Emma.

He pulled up in front of the building and began unloading his possessions. He'd had classes and office hours all day, and so only had one more hour of sunlight to complete his move. Trying to rush things, he stacked two boxes on top of each other and headed for the door. It wouldn't open for him. He realized with a groan that he needed his key card to open the door, which he'd left in the truck. He turned to head back, without unloading his arms. He missed the step down from the curb and went tumbling forward, falling painfully on the boxes.

"You alright?" a voice called out.

"Aye, everything seems to be in tact," Killian replied. The other man extended his hand and helped Killian up. The boxes were crushed, but not ruined. And they were still taped shut.

"Would you like some help with those?"

"Yes, that would be much appreciated." He held our his arm for a handshake. "Killian Jones."

"Graham Humbert. Nice to meet you."

"You're Irish. What part? I was born in Dublin."

"Belfast."

"Oh, well I won't hold it against you," Killian said with a smirk. "Let me run to the truck and get the key card."

Graham picked up a box, and Killian came carrying one more. He opened the doors and with Graham's help got all the boxes into the lobby.

"When did you move in?"

"Today," Killian replied. "These are all the possessions I own."

"That's it?"

"I'm starting over."

"Ah, I see. Bad breakup?"

"Aye." With Graham's help, Killian got all the boxes into his apartment. "I'm glad I ran into you, mate. I would have had a much more difficult time without your help. Can I buy you a pint to thank you?"

"Maybe some other time. I'm actually here to pick up a date."

"You don't live here, then? Well, don't let the neighbors know I let a stranger in."

"It's alright, I'm a cop," Graham said with a grin.

"That's a relief. Well, I'll let you get to your date."

"Thanks, it was nice to meet you," Graham replied. He pulled out his phone to exchange numbers with Killian, but noticed he had an incoming call. "Emma, hi," Graham answered. "I'll be there in a moment. Sorry for the delay. I ran into a new neighbor of yours that needed some help moving his things in." He paused, listening to her. "Yes, his name is Killian. Do you know each other? I'll tell him you say hello. See you shortly."

Killian stiffened upon hearing this conversation. This man was here to take Emma out on a date. Despite his claims to Rob earlier in the week that he wasn't ready for a relationship, he felt jealousy coursing through his veins. Killian wanted to be the one taking Emma out. He tried hard to school his features before Graham ended the call.

"It appears you know my date, Emma. Small world, eh?"

"It would appear so."

"We'll get that pint another time. Have you a good night, Killian."

"Aye, you too, Graham."

As soon as the door was shut, Killian slumped against it. For the first time in a week, he regretted taking this apartment.

#cs fanfic #CS fanfics #cs ff #ouat fanfiction #killian jones #emma swan #milah #complicating factors fanfic

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cuthian · 4 years

Text

Starting Over Chapter One

Welcome to the second-to-last installment of this series (probably, honestly, I didn't mean for there to be as many parts as there are already)!

This fic is focused on both Thor and Steve's journeys, and sets the scene for the main fic, the one that follows this one, the one you've all been waiting for :) There are two chapters fully focused on Thor's journey, so should you wish to skip those, check the notes at the top of the chapter! I'll definitely mention them :)

I expect I'll update this once a week (it's fully written) and hopefully will be able to upload the final installment after I've posted the final chapter of this one!

As always, much love and gratitude to my lovely Juulna, who dragged me through all of this, and kicks my ass into gear when it's needed.

Let us know what you think!

Love, Annaelle

Starting Over

Sometimes, the hardest part isn’t letting go, but rather starting over.

—Nicole Sovaugn

Chapter One

RUMORED CELEBRITY COUPLES WE ALL *HOPE* ARE REAL

The celebrity rumor mill is always churning. While it is mostly tittle-tattle, there are certain romance “news” items that, in our heart of hearts, we’re dying to be true. From co-stars with unbelievable chemistry to sure-to-be-legendary duos, here are the pairs we have our fingers crossed for.

10. Nikki Reed & Ian Somerhalder

[...]share a common interest in playing vampires—with Reed’s Rosalie in Twilight to Somerhalder’s Damon in The Vampire Diaries—but also have several common friends. Both are close with Nina Dobrev—Somerhalder’s ex-girlfriend—and Ashley Greene[…]supposed reports of their developing relationship since July, and they have adopted a horse together.

[…]as of yet no official confirmations have been made.

[…]

7. Natasha Romanoff & Steve Rogers

[…] Rogers and Romanoff have been spotted out together on several occasions, ranging from coffee runs—such mundane activity for such extraordinary people—to trips to Coney Island and Avengers Tower[…]The outings have set many tongues wagging, implying a scandalous relationship between the Captain and his Avengers co-worker, despite official, repeated statements that Captain Rogers is still grieving his former life and is not interested in forming romantic attachments.

[…]Captain was also linked to former Army Captain Rebecca Barnes, before she confirmed her own relationship—see No 2 on this list![…]whatever is going on between Captain America and the women in his life, one thing is certain: we would all like to be rescued by this star-spangled man with a plan!

[…]

5. Zac Efron & Leah Michelle

[…]big surprise for everyone! These two have known one another for several years, but have recently been photographed packing on the PDA on a yacht in Italy in July[…]possibly nothing more than a summer fling, but a reliable source told E!online that Efron likes that she is laid-back and he can relate to her. He is, apparently, attracted to her great attitude, and they understand one another.

[…]

2. Rebecca Barnes & Thor of Asgard

This surprise couple accidentally got caught on camera in a picture posted to Tony Stark’s Twitter account on the 4th of July last year[…]emphasis on “accidental”, considering the couple was only barely visible in a corner of the picture that featured almost all of the Avengers.

[…]lo and behold, it clearly showed Rebecca Barnes, seated on a barstool next to who appears to be Captain Rogers, wrapped in an intimate embrace with none other than the Prince of Asgard, looking real cozy together. Gotcha!

[…]picture remained on Tony Stark’s Twitter account without further comment from any of the Avengers for 72 hours before a press conference was held to confirm the relationship between the two, though insistences were made on their relationship remaining casual for now. “They’re having fun, they like each other, but neither of them wants to be in a serious relationship right now.”

Casual seems to be working for the couple though, because all appearances point to them still being together two years after their first press conference!

[…]only confirmed couple on this list!

—M.S. Sura, E! Magazine, « Rumoured Celebrity Couples », July 2013

————————

Washington D.C., United States of America

August 9th, 2015 – 5:19 AM

Steve

Steve liked going for a run in the morning.

When he and Becca had first moved to D.C., he had felt at a loss—he’d never really lived anywhere but in New York, and D.C. had felt like an unknown entity, nothing like the city he’d been born and raised in. It was… It was quieter, in a way, less crowded and less intense than New York had been, and Steve had both hated and loved it with equal measure during their first few weeks there.

Running in the morning had been something Karen the therapist had suggested when he’d originally confessed to feeling antsy and cooped up when there were no missions to be done, and no bad guys to fight.

It’d become a way to blow off steam, to get rid of the horrid feeling of inactivity, and to get to know the city he’d be living in for the foreseeable future. Becca hadn’t really understood—nor had Steve expected her to, considering it would’ve involved leaving her bed before she absolutely had to—and though Thor, bless him, had done his very best to give it a try, he really didn’t understand the appeal of running without chasing something.

Steve, however, loved it.

Running was one of the very few activities where he could let go of all restraint and just go, without having to worry that he was going to hurt someone, or break something irreparably. Running allowed him to test the very limit of the serum without truly having to worry, and it was a feeling so incredibly freeing it made him feel dizzy the first time he’d realized.

He’d learned to appreciate D.C. for its own merits, over time. He loved New York and he would always consider Brooklyn home in a way nowhere else could be, but here… Here he could walk down the street without getting pulled aside for selfies and autographs constantly. He could run for hours without paparazzi not-so-subtly trying to sneak pictures of him.

He could visit Peggy, who had—very reluctantly—taken up residence in a care home close to his and Becca’s house, after a nasty fall that broke the femur bone in her left leg in two places.

New York was not so very far away either, and when they wanted to visit Tony and the others, the flight there usually didn’t take them very long. Steve felt more settled here, and much less anchored in the past, than he had in New York, although it had taken him a long time to admit it.

Of course, it wasn’t like Steve loved everything about their life in D.C. He’d initially loved the job, and the way it gave him a sense of purpose in his life, but the intensity of some of the Agents put him off, and he decidedly disliked the way everyone had had set expectations of who and what he was supposed to be—both as a leader in the field and as a person.

He loathed the way Fury treated him sometimes, for that matter, like he was some dumb kid who didn’t know what the hell he was talking about. He hated when Fury sent him on missions with people who had their own missions, when he was expected to lead people who had their own agendas and their own timetables.

He especially disliked the agents that Fury had set to tail him at all times—he wasn’t supposed to know they were there, but it seemed they’d all conveniently forgotten he was good friends with the Black Widow and Hawkeye, and that he lived with Becca Barnes, who had the uncanny ability to spot agents, no matter how well they disguised themselves.

He hated them, but, over the course of the past four years of living in the 21st century, two of which he’d spent working with S.H.I.E.L.D., he’d learned to pick his battles. There were bigger things going on in his life than trying to figure out which hapless idiot they’d sent to try to tail him on his run today.

There was, for instance, a new guy—not an agent, Steve thought—running on his preferred route.

Steve didn’t tend to run the same route every day, because he’d get bored and probably run into a tree or something, and he didn’t quite fancy the idea of having to explain to Fury—or worse, Tony—why there were gossip rags with the headline “Captain America Can’t Handle Morning Wood” or something equally ridiculous.

Also, by changing up his route regularly, he was able to figure out how long it took S.H.I.E.L.D. to figure out where he was. The longest it had ever taken them was fifteen minutes, and Steve was pretty sure they’d only figured him out because he’d stopped to take a phone call from Becca.

This route, though, starting at the World War II memorial, crossing Inlet Bridge and going past the Lincoln and Jefferson Memorials, was one of Steve’s favorites to run. It took him past his favorite sites in the city, and ended whenever he ran past the cute little bakery a few blocks from the Holocaust Memorial Museum with the best croissants he’d had on this side of the Atlantic. There weren’t usually a lot of people around at this time of morning, because Steve could admit that he was slightly overzealous when it came to running in the morning—as in leaving before the sun was up, and not coming back until at least two hours later—and it was easy to notice when there was a new fellow maniac who liked to exercise before dawn.

Steve let his eyes trail over said new maniac’s back appreciatively.

He definitely looked good.

He felt a pang of guilt—much less debilitating than the stifling sense of dread and guilt and horror it had once been—and shook his head, pushing himself to run a little faster, to pass this new, cute, unknown entity and leave him behind, because for all that Steve was doing pretty well, he didn’t think he was ready to acknowledge when he actively thought someone was cute.

It was different than when he went on dates because Natasha set him up. Those were nearly always women, and much as Steve appreciated Nat’s effort, they were never into him for him.

That, in itself, was enough of a turn off.

The fact that they were absolutely never his type was just an easy excuse to give Nat when there were, inevitably, no second dates. This, though, he thought as he caught up to Cute Fellow Maniac… this felt different.

“On your left,” he bit out as he ran past New Cute Fellow Maniac, barely allowing himself a glance to look at the other guy, refusing to see, because that would mean he actively liked someone who wasn’t Bucky, and he wasn’t sure he could do that.

He’d talked about that with Karen-the-therapist at length too.

After he’d seen Thor make an effort to let go of his promise to only ever love Loki, to give his relationship with Becca an honest chance, he’d wondered, because he’d been convinced that Thor was the only person Steve had ever met that understood.

He’d understood why Steve just… couldn’t.

Why the very thought of being in love with someone other than Bucky made him feel sick to his stomach, like he’d be betraying everything he had shared with Bucky, like he’d be making a mockery of Bucky’s memory if he did allow himself to move on. Going on dates with women had been much easier than this, because… well, they were women.

For all that Steve was hopeless when it came to flirting with them—or even just talking to them—they didn’t run much of a risk of reminding him of Bucky. It wasn’t so very hard to not give them a chance.

He knew it was poor manners, to give a lady hope where there was none, but… it got his friends off his back, and it was easy to let it all wash over him.

Men, though…

He knew Bucky would hate that Steve felt that way, and that he might even be insulted to learn Steve hadn’t tried to fuck his way through the 21st century in his name yet, because Bucky had been nothing if not a realist (and also a horny bastard), and whereas Steve had been—still was—optimistic enough to believe he could spend his entire life loving just the one person, Bucky had… Bucky had said things that made Steve think—now, in hindsight—that he’d never really believed he’d make it out of the war.

Maybe he’d always known Steve would, eventually, have to move on.

Steve sighed and slowed down, eyeing the split in the path that came up ahead of him contemplatively. The left branch would loop him back to roughly where he’d seen Cute New Maniac, and might give him a second chance.

The other…

“Come on, Rogers,” he told himself firmly. “Make an effort.”

He took the left path.

————————

Washington D.C., United States of America

6.03 AM

Steve

Alright, so maybe he hadn’t stopped to talk to Cute New Maniac right away.

He watched, slightly amused, as the other man limped his way to a patch of grass and collapsed back against a tree, wheezing a little. Steve felt a little bad—just a little—but then, he hadn’t made the other man try to race him.

Honestly, after the third time Steve had lapped him, Cute New Maniac should really have realized that he wouldn’t actually be able to keep up with Steve even if he did try.

Which he did.

It hadn’t really gone his way.

“You need a medic?” he blurted before he could think about it, moving towards where the other man sat with a grin that was probably just the right side of smug. Steve felt a little gratified when the other man laughed, shaking his head a little before he replied.

“I need a new set of lungs.” He laughed and pushed himself up a little, glancing towards Steve with a smirk. “You just ran like thirteen miles in thirty minutes.”

Steve grinned a little.

It wasn’t like he could come right out and say he looped around four times with the express purpose of seeing Cute New Maniac again, so he shrugged, putting his hands on his hips in a way he knew accentuated the contrast between his broad shoulders and narrow hips. “Guess I got a late start,” he quipped cheekily.

“Really?” Cute Maniac laughed. “You should be ashamed of yourself. You should—you should take another lap.” Steve couldn’t stop grinning, cheeks burning and heart pumping fast with exhilaration, even as the cute guy looked away for a second, before he looked back and rolled his eyes.

“Did you just take it? I assume you just took it.”

Steve outright laughed at that, shaking his head a little before he gestured to the dog tags that had slipped from underneath the guy’s sweater. “What unit were you in?”

He saw the minute stiffening of Cute Maniac’s posture before he relaxed again, and felt momentarily bad for asking, but before he could take it back, Cute Maniac replied, “58th Pararescue. But now I’m working down at the V.A.” Before Steve could do more than nod, Cute Maniac held out his hand, wiggling his fingers insistently until Steve grasped it in his and pulled him to his feet.

“Sam Wilson,” Cute Maniac—Sam, a voice in Steve’s head that sounded suspiciously like Bucky insisted—offered, smiling when Steve floundered a little.

“Steve Rogers,” Steve finally said, grinning shyly. This was usually the point where people either freaked out and started treating him like… well, like Captain America. Steve hadn’t hoped someone wouldn’t this badly in quite a while.

“I kinda put that together,” Sam grinned, fingers lingering on Steve’s for a second longer than strictly appropriate, and Steve’s stomach swooped. “Must’ve freaked you out,” Sam continued, and Steve’s stomach sank, because he knew what those next words were going to be before Sam even said them out loud. “Coming home after the whole defrosting thing. “

Steve heaved a sigh and shrugged. “Took some getting used to.”

He swallowed thickly against the disappointment that curdled in his stomach and shot Sam a small, insincere smile. “It’s good to meet you, Sam.” He turned away before Sam could say anything that would make Steve’s stomach ache harder than it already did, becauseof course, the one time he decided to take a chance, the guy turned out like everyone else.

“It’s your bed, right?”

Steve stopped, turning around with no small sense of bewilderment as he looked at Sam. “What’s that?” he said cautiously, eyeing the other man nervously. He wasn’t sure if Sam was being dense, or if he was blatantly trying to come onto Steve, but it made him feel off-balance, and Steve hated feeling off-balance.

“Your bed,” Sam repeated, raising both eyebrows. “It’s too soft. When I was over there, I’d sleep on the ground, use rocks as pillows.” Steve turned towards Sam fully, now intrigued and a little relieved, hoping he might’ve misjudged. “Now I’m home,” Sam continued, “lying in my bed, and it’s like…”

He shook his head, apparently at a loss for words.

“Like lying on a marshmallow,” Steve finally finished for him. “Feels like I’m gonna sink right through to the floor.”

Sam smiled a little and nodded.

It was a cute smile too, damn him.

“How long?” he asked, eyeing Sam carefully. He figured he could get away with asking something similar to Sam’s earlier question, and it wasn’t that he doubted that the other man had served, but…

It just felt different knowing.

“Two tours,” Sam answered curtly, although he didn’t appear all that put out by the question.

Steve swallowed and nodded tightly. Though Sam hadn’t specified, from what Steve understood, two tours could mean anywhere from a year to eight years total, and Steve couldn’t imagine being out there for that long, even with a break in the middle, without losing his mind. It’d baffled him during the war too, seeing European soldiers of various countries that had been fighting for literal years without stopping, refusing to give up.

He’d both admired them and felt incredibly sorry for them.

“You must miss the way things were,” Sam finally said, cautiously, as though Steve would explode if the past was mentioned. If this had been three years ago, Steve might’ve. He would’ve put on a brave face, but the reminder of the life that had been torn from him would’ve sent him spiraling and heading for the hills to lick his wounds in private, and he was mature enough—now—to know that.

As it stood, Steve had been in intense therapy since his breakdown four years ago, and he’d learned to deal with his grief in far more healthy ways.

“It’s not so bad here,” Steve shrugged. “Food’s so much better. I need to eat a ton, because—” he gestured towards his body sheepishly and blushed when Sam smirked. “Back then, getting enough calories was horrible. We boiled everything, and the stuff that did have what I needed was barely edible at all.” He grinned and added, “Internet’s great too. Super helpful. Becca showed me how to use it back when I first woke up. Definitely read that a lot, trying to catch up.”

Sam nodded, raising an eyebrow. “Becca’s the roommate, right? Your guy’s grandniece or something, right? Freaked out every gossip rag from here to L.A. when you two moved here, to D.C., together. Big scandal.”

Steve sighed and shook his head. “I remember. Ridiculous. Becca’s one of my best friends. Currently dating one of my other best friends.” He wrinkled his nose and shook his head, because much as he loved Thor and Becca, he really didn’t like to think too much about it. He’d walked in on them one time too many to still be casual about it.

“Yeah,” Sam smirked. “I remember seeing that revelation around too.”

Steve winced a little.

Everyone remembered that particular Fourth of July. Tony still felt bad about it.

“So,” Sam said, smiling lightly, “You doing anything fun today?”

Steve saw it for the change of subject that it was and grasped at it eagerly—maybe a little too eagerly. “Hopefully you,” he blurted, blanching when his brain caught up with his mouth, wincing at Sam’s slightly stunned expression. “I mean—that’s not—I wasn’t trying to—”

He gave up on his spluttered explanation when Sam burst into laughter, hiding his face—cheeks burning with an increasingly embarrassed blush—in his hands. He didn’t look up until Sam reached out and put his hand on Steve’s arm, gently pushing it down so Steve would be forced to look at him.

“Don’t worry about it,” Sam grinned, winking when Steve dared to look directly at him again. “I mean, you should definitely buy me a drink first, but it’s good to know I wasn’t imagining that you were flirting.” He looked momentarily confused and then asked, “I wasn’t, right?”

“No,” Steve admitted breathlessly, feeling more than a little overwhelmed by the idea that he’d actually managed to ask someone out—sort of—and that said someone had actually returned his interest.

What the fuck.

Stuff like this didn’t happen to Steve—he was the hopeless single friend.

Willingly.

Sam smiled—a real, bright smile that made Steve’s stomach do another funky flop—and bit his lower lip. “Well then. You gonna ask for my number, Rogers?”

“Right!” Steve blurted, fumbling to get his phone from his pocket without accidentally tossing it across the damned park. Sam took it from him with an indulgent smile, and Steve was pretty sure his face was stuck somewhere between bewilderment and soppy admiration, and he wasn’t sure…

Well, he wasn’t sure what to do now.

“There,” Sam handed his phone back and raised an eyebrow. “You better call me, Rogers. I ain’t one for getting stood up, even by a superhero.”

Steve nodded eagerly. “I will, definitely, I just—” His phone buzzed in his hand, and he frowned when he recognized Nat’s S.H.I.E.L.D.-issued number. Nat only used that number to call him when they were being called in for a mission.

“Duty calls,” he said ruefully, wiggling his phone at Sam. “I’m sorry. Thanks for the run though.” He grinned and winked, “If that’s what you wanna call running.”

“Oh, that’s how it is?” Sam exclaimed indignantly, although there was no real heat to his words.

“That’s how it is.”

“O-okay,” Sam chuckled. “You better call me when you get back.”

Steve nodded dumbly, not turning away until he heard the familiar engine roar of Nat’s favorite Corvette—because of course she’d tracked his phone instead of waiting for his reply, damn those spies—grinning sheepishly at Sam’s raised eyebrow. “Can’t run everywhere.”

“No, you can’t,” Sam agreed, smirking when Steve awkwardly tried to fit himself into the small seat—he swore that was at least half of the reason Nat always picked him up in this thing.

“Hey fellas,” Nat grinned, baring all her teeth with a predatory gleam in her eye as she looked at Sam.

“No,” Steve said firmly, before she could do or say anything that would make Sam realize Steve was a goddamned disaster and he should run while he still had the chance. He frowned at her, and when that didn’t have much of a visible effect, he pouted.

Her expression softened, and Steve barely managed to keep from grinning.

Worked like a charm. Every damned time.

“I’ll call you,” he told Sam, offering him a quick smile, before he turned back to Nat, putting thoughts of Sam and the conversation and the potential date in his future out of his mind, focusing entirely on the folder Nat had tossed onto his lap and resolutely ignoring her attempts to pick apart what little she’d seen of his interaction with Sam.

“What do we have?”

————————

EXCLUSIVE: CAPTAIN AMERICA MOVING IN WITH DEAD BEST FRIEND’S GRAND-NIECE?

Captain America, also known as Steve Rogers, and Rebecca Barnes—granddaughter to Rogers’ late best friend’s little sister—aremoving in together, but they are most definitely not in a relationship, despite an absurd tabloid report.

Gossip Cop can exclusively correct the story and report that it’s completely false.

According to OK!USA, our favorite supersoldier is moving out of the Avengers Tower to follow Barnes to Washington D.C., where they’re “on the hunt for a love pad”. An alleged insider tells the magazine that Thor and Barnes, who were recently accidentally ‘outed’ by Tony Stark, have split up because of the “deep, intense feelings” between the Captain and the youngest Barnes.

“They’re both so attracted to one another,” says a supposed source, who further contends that the other Avengers and the Barnes family “aren’t surprised Cap is following Becca to D.C. and that they’re looking for a home together.”

The outlet’s premise is flat-out ridiculous.

Just last Sunday, Thor joined Barnes and Rogers for dinner at Rebecca Barnes Sr.’s home.

The idea that Rebecca Jr. has dumped him for Captain Rogers is ludicrous. Additionally, the tabloid’s article is based on claims from an anonymous and untraceable “source,” but Gossip Cop reached out to Rogers’ spokesperson, who tells us on the record that it’s untrue. Despite what the magazine’s so-called “insider” claims, a rep qualified to speak on the Captain’s behalf assures us he and Barnes aren’t a couple, and the relocation is funded and requested by S.H.I.E.L.D., where both Captain Rogers and Agent Barnes are employed.

[…]gossip media is constantly trying to create new milestones in the relationship between Captain Rogers and the females in his life, despite their relationship being friendly and professional. […] Last week, we busted another bogus report alleging the Black Widow might be pregnant with Rogers’ baby.

Earlier this week, Gossip Cop also shot down a phony article claiming that the Avengers were split between Barnes and the Black Widow, picking sides in a vicious fight for Rogers’ affection.[…]

This latest article involving the supposed lovers house-hunting together is yet more fiction.

—A. Shuster, Gossip Cop, « Captain America moving to D.C. with Rebecca Barnes?», August 2012

————————

Indian Ocean

11:08 PM (UCT+6.30)

Steve

He listened intently as Rumlow briefed them, eyeing the specs intently. Natasha stood beside him, brow equally furrowed in concentration, while Becca fiddled with her gloves, alternating between looking at Rumlow and the screen. Normally, Steve would try to scold her into paying attention, but by the time he and Nat had gotten to H.Q., Becca had already been debriefed and had several plausible plans ready for Steve to review once he’d been briefed on the jet.

He’d learned to value her insights on cases like these, because there was a reason she had made it to the rank of Captain in the Army at twenty-two, and he knew how hard it was for her to stand still.

“Any demands?” he inquired when Rumlow finished identifying the target and outlining the situation.

There hadn’t been when they’d left D.C., but that had been mere minutes after contact with the Lemurian Star had been lost—two and a half hours ago.

“Billion and a half,” Rumlow nodded curtly, facing Steve directly, preparing for the questions he likely knew were coming. They’d worked together quite a few times over the past few years, and Rumlow had learned to anticipate what info Steve needed to effectively plan a successful mission in minutes.

“Why so steep?”

Demands were all good and well in hostage situations, but no agency deploying simple satellites would be able to afford quite that much money on such short notice.

Rumlow looked surprised, for a moment, before admitting, “Because it’s S.H.I.E.L.D.’s.”

Steve barely managed to refrain from rolling his eyes, quietly cursing Nick Fury in the back of his mind, and glanced towards Nat. “So it’s not off-course.” That’d been one of Becca’s theories; an attempt to explain what the ship would be doing this far out of international waters; why they’d been vulnerable to pirates in the first place.

“It’s trespassing,” Becca agreed, crossing her arms over her chest and frowning.

Rumlow looked like he wanted to say something—probably something derogatory that would make Steve want to punch him regardless of his professional competence—but Nat stepped in before he could. “I’m sure they have a good reason,” she offered, smiling winningly at Steve.

Steve did roll his eyes this time. “I’m getting real’ tired of being Fury’s janitor.”

He could’ve been having lunch, at home, right now. He could’ve asked Sam out for breakfast, could’ve tried to figure out if he could try dating without wanting to throw up at the mere thought of it.

Why did Fury always want him to clean up his own damned messes?

He turned back to Rumlow and gestured to go on. “How many pirates?”

“Twenty-five,” Rumlow replied immediately, pulling up several profiles of well-known international fugitives. “Top mercs, led by this guy.” He pulled up and enlarged a picture of a built man with a buzz cut and a dead-eyed expression Steve had seen in too many men in the service before.

“Georges Batroc,” Rumlow continued, “Ex-DGSE, Action Division. He’s at the top of Interpol’s Red Notice. Before the French demobilized him, he had thirty-six kill missions.” He looked Steve dead in the eye and frowned. “He’s got a rep for maximum casualties. It’s why they wanted to get rid of him in the first place.”

Steve nodded curtly. He wasn’t sure what a man like that would want with a S.H.I.E.L.D. vessel, but he was sure it couldn’t be anything good. “Hostages?” he demanded, crossing his arms over his chest.

Rumlow faltered, and Steve frowned, because that couldn’t be a surprise question—they’d been sent specifically to rescue said hostages. “Uh...” Rumlow stuttered. “Mostly techs. One officer.” He nodded towards Steve. “Jasper Sitwell. They’re in the galley.”

Steve knew of Sitwell.

He wasn’t terribly high up the chain of command, and certainly didn’t have security clearance as high as Steve and Natasha, but he wasn’t just another grunt worker either. From what Steve knew, he was one of S.H.I.E.L.D.’s top mission handlers.

He dealt with junior S.H.I.E.L.D. agents that went on lesser undercover missions—had dealt with Becca’s undercover mission too, until Nat had unceremoniously usurped him. Steve had no clue what he’d be doing on a satellite launch platform.

“What the hell is Sitwell doing on a launch ship?” he mused, more to himself than to either Nat or Becca, before he shook his head and pushed the issue from his mind. Honestly, it didn’t matter what Sitwell was doing on the ship, it just mattered that Steve needed to get him and the techs off of it.

Safely.

“Alright,” he said briskly, glancing to his core team briefly. “I’m gonna sweep the deck and find Batroc. Nat, you kill the engines and wait for instruction. Rumlow, you sweep the aft and find the hostages, direct S.T.R.I.K.E. as you need them. Just get them to the life-pods, and get them out.” He glanced towards Becca and grinned. “Barnes, help Rumlow get into the galley and then cover my six.”

Becca grinned back and cheekily saluted him. “Aye, aye, Captain.”

Steve rolled his eyes. “Let’s go.”

He followed Becca and Nat to the hold, taking the communicator Nat held out with a grin. “Secure channel seven,” he said into the communicator when he’d attached it to his wrist.

“Seven secure,” Nat replied, sidling up beside him with a smirk that predicted little good things for him. Usually conversations that started with Nat smirking at him like that ended with dreadfully boring dates with lovely dark-haired women that bore suspicious resemblance to both Bucky and Peggy.

“So,” Nat drawled. “Who was that positively gorgeous specimen you were talking to when I picked you up?” She raised an eyebrow at him and smirked. “Were you flirting, Steve?”

Becca popped up from behind one of the S.T.R.I.K.E. agents, her expression bordering on gleeful, and Steve barely repressed the urge to groan. He’d hoped to keep Sam to himself a little longer, at least until he had decided how he felt about the whole thing.

He should’ve known he would never be able to keep it under wraps with these two in his life.

That not mean that he wasn’t going to try, though.

“I’m not talking about this now,” he said firmly, shooting a glare at Becca when she had the gall to pout at him. Thankfully, the pilot’s voice interrupted the two women before they could pester him more, warning him of the drop zone coming up.

He ran his hand through his hair one more time before he pulled the helmet on, moving towards the loading bay as he did.

“Oh, no, you don’t,” Becca piped on from behind him, snatching him by one of the straps on his suit and pulling him back with surprising ease—to everyone but Steve, who’d hoped she would let him get away with it this time. “Put on a fucking parachute, Rogers,” she bit out, shoving aforementioned parachute in his hands.

“Come on, Becs,” he wheedled. “I need to get in stealthily. The ‘chute ain’t covert. It’ll slow me down.”

Becca didn’t seem particularly impressed by his reasoning. “I’m not letting you jump out of a goddamn plane without a parachute, you moron.”

“You let Thor do it all the time,” Steve pointed out, smiling winningly, sneakily pushing the parachute into a hapless S.T.R.I.K.E. agent’s hands, stepping in front of the man to make sure Becca wouldn’t be able to see what he was doing.

Becca threw her hands up in exasperation and shoved at his shoulder, even as Steve moved back to the loading bay. “Thor can fly, Steve, he doesn’t need a parachute.”

Steve grinned at her over his shoulder, and winked at her. “Neither do I.”

He jumped.

————————

Lemurian Star, Indian Ocean

11:14 PM (UCT+6.30)

Steve

“Hostages en route to extraction,” Rumlow’s voice alerted Steve. “Barnes is on her way to you. Romanoff missed the rendezvous point, Cap. Hostiles are still in play.”

He didn’t have eyes on Batroc anymore, and the entire ship had fallen suspiciously silent following his attempt to smash Batroc’s skull in with his shield. Of course, they did have standing orders to subdue the man, not kill him, but Steve had seen an opportunity and he’d taken it.

He’d rather be scolded for taking out a terrorist than risk the man getting out again.

Steve cursed under his breath before he replied, voice hushed, “Affirmative. Natasha, Batroc’s on the move. Circle back to Rumlow and protect the hostages.” There was no reply, and worry coiled in the pit of his stomach. He stopped, distracted, and lifted his arm to speak directly into the comm unit.

“Natasha?”

He didn’t see the attack coming.

He didn’t have time to do anything other than parry the volley of blows that came at him, faster and harder than anyone he’d fought in recent history. He was bowled over by the sheer viciousness of the attack, and before he knew it, his attacker had knocked him on his back, giving him no time to recover.

All Steve could see when he straightened up was the boot flying right at him, and he barely managed to move just enough so said boot landed on the floor instead of on parts of Steve’s anatomy he’d really rather keep intact—especially with the possibility of a date in the near future still in the back of his mind.

Batroc—because of course it was Batroc, Steve hadn’t expected anyone else—froze for a heartbeat, as did Steve. The stillness of the moment was over as soon as it had begun, and Steve didn’t spare much thought to technique when Batroc attacked again in a violent flurry of movement, punching and kicking so fast Steve couldn’t do anything but block, at first.

It only took a few moments before he spotted a pattern in Batroc’s attacks though, and then, instead of concerning, the fight became fun.

Batroc was a good fighter, and while he was certainly no match for Steve, he was far more of a challenge than anyone but Thor had been able to provide since he’d gotten the serum. Even Schmidt, for all his bluster of being the perfect man, had had shockingly little fighting technique and had mostly relied on brute strength alone.

Batroc, on the other hand… Batroc fought like it was an art, and Steve loved it.

Steve did not, however, have time to relish in the fight. Batroc was getting cocky, likely spurred on by Steve’s insistence of blocking and not punching—because he did have orders to bring the man in alive, and if Steve would punch him with full strength, he’d probably punch right through his skull.

It was too easy, really, to shove the man back with the shield, tossing him several feet.

It didn’t slow Batroc down though, and Steve was grudgingly impressed. The man had to be highly trained to be able to shake off a hit like that, and even when he attacked again, and Steve punched back, with his fists and the shield, Batroc got back up.

Steve was a little impressed.

“Je croyais tu étais plus qu’un bouclier,” Batroc sneered when he’d gotten back on his feet, and that… the implication grated, even though Steve knew, he knew Batroc was goading him, he knew Batroc knew he couldn’t beat Steve… But it stung nonetheless.

Before he knew what he was doing, he holstered his shield, keeping his eyes on Batroc as he undid the chin-strap on his helmet. “On va voir,” he said evenly, and he was itching for this fight, itching for a reason to beat this guy into the ground, regardless of how well he fought—

He and Batroc both flinched and spun around when a loud gunshot rang out across the deck, and before either of them could react further, Becca appeared, shooting Batroc twice, without hesitation, with the stun gun they had designed specifically to take hostiles in alive.

The man dropped like a sack of flour, and Steve was left staring between Becca—who looked positively furious—and the third man there, laying face-down in a pool of his own blood, a gun lying slightly beyond his outstretched fingertips.

“On va voir?” Becca hissed, stepping over Batroc’s prone body with an expression so infuriated Steve was almost afraid she’d set him on fire with just that look. He’d seen her angry before, but… shit, he’d messed up. “On ne vois rien! What the actual fuck, Rogers?!”

“Okay,” he said slowly, raising his hands in surrender, because Becca was still holding her stun gun, and she was not lowering it. “In my defense…”

“In your defense?” Becca shouted, stomping forward, shoving him in the shoulder hard. “There was no in your defense! You put away your main defensive weapon! You took off your helmet on an active mission with hostiles still in play! Jesus Christ, Steve, you knowbetter!”

Steve opened his mouth, but Becca waved her gun around angrily and he snapped it shut again, because he might be a supersoldier and if she shot him, he’d survive, but it’d still hurt like hell, and he wouldn’t put it past her to shoot him just to teach him a lesson about how close to death his body could take him.

“He had a gun on you,” she hissed. “He was waiting to take the shot, damn it! He would’ve blown your fucking brains out, Steve, and it’s not like you have any to spare!”

“Hey!” Steve exclaimed indignantly, glaring at her. “That’s not fair.”

“Try that again when you didn’t put away your main weapon in front of a hostile!” Becca shouted, poking her finger so close to his face, Steve was worried she’d boop him on the nose and make him laugh, because he knew laughing at her now would definitely make her shoot him.

“Okay, look,” Steve tried, backing away a little, because he was no fool, and staying within arm’s reach of an angry Barnes was never a good idea. “My entire body is basically a weapon. I mean—”

“Well, this is awkward,” Natasha interrupted.

Becca and Steve spun around to find her sitting cross-legged on Batroc’s back, securing his wrists with heavy handcuffs that could probably hold even Steve. Steve’s cheeks flamed, because Natasha was smirking in a way that meant she had heard all of the conversation that Steve would have rather kept between him and Becca.

Of course, he’d rather have not had the conversation at all, but he wasn’t that lucky.

“Where were you?” he bit out angrily, desperately grasping at the only thing he could to change the subject, glaring at Nat when she just raised her eyebrow. “Rumlow needed you with the hostages.”

“He’s fine,” she waved a hand dismissively. “I…” she paused and her eyes darted between him and Becca, who was still steely-eyed and angry, but at least not shouting anymore. “Fury gave me a secondary mission,” she admitted, holding up a hand to stave off the angry tirade that was already itching to burst from Steve’s lips. “I can’t talk about it here. Later, Steven.”

“Fine,” Steve bit out. “Fine.” He pointed to Natasha menacingly. “But you’re coming back to our place later to explain.”

Nat raised an eyebrow. “Fine.”

“Fine.”

————————

Start from the beginning:

In Hell We Stand By You:

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8)

Never Feel Alone:

(1) (2)

Decisions: (1)

Dancing with a Limp:

(1) (2)

Chances:

(1)

Or read it HERE on AO3 :D Find the next chapter HERE on Tumblr :)

#IHWSBY sequel #Starting Over #stucky #Stucky fanfiction #Steve rogers #Bucky barnes #Rebecca barnes #thor #tony stark #Natasha romanov #sam wilson #avengers family #my writing #Lisa writes

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awayfromthedesk · 4 years

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Unsollicited Advice for the Class of 2020 in your teens, 20s and 30s.

By Athena Fosler-Brazil, Christine Argueza-Prince and Marielle Argueza

As a first-generation college graduate and a veteran attendee of several graduation and promotion ceremonies (because all my siblings are smarty pants), I want to acknowledge that for the graduating class of 2020, this can be an intensely emotional time. You were promised to participate in a tradition and to celebrate your accomplishments in front of your peers, family, friends, mentors and teachers and a public health crisis took it away.

There are tens of millions of students in the class of 2020 who will miss out on their graduation ceremonies in the United States. It’s a milestone that some have taken to recognizing online or celebrating out in the streets with neighborhood parades. Where it won’t be happening is out in the sun, in the hot fields and stadiums, or crowded gyms and auditoriums of their respective campuses because of health restrictions.

But let’s not dwell on that. I speak from experience from when I say, graduating and moving from one phase of life to another, does not come from sitting in an hours-long ceremony filled with—let’s be honest—pretty bad speeches with hit-or-miss jokes and administrators with cringe-worthy mispronunciations of your name. I don’t even remember my keynote speaker’s name, just that her advice was to say “yes” to everything, which is just a setup for needless self-sacrifice IMHO. That speech was the most dreaded of things I really didn’t want to hear as a know-it-all 21-year-old: unsolicited advice. I was rolling my eyes the whole time.

So naturally, I and two graduates of 2020 are giving you unsolicited advice—hopefully better than my class of 2015 keynote speaker’s advice—to immerse you in the full-experience of graduation. Athena Fosler-Brazil is an outgoing senior of Carmel High School and Christine Argueza-Prince, a recent graduate of University of North Carolina’s Gillings School of Global Public Health (and also my oldest sister). Instead of asking them to write a commencement speech, I asked them to cut to the chase. What nuggets of wisdom would they give to their younger selves, and ultimately to those moving from one phase of life to another.

Without further ado here is your list of unsolicited advice:

In Your Teens By Athena Fosler-Brazil

1. Don’t let your peers convince you that caring about things is uncool.

2. Stop pretending to like the music your crush likes if it genuinely sucks. 3. It’s really worth it to ask questions in class.

4. It’s okay to shed the relationships that are no longer fulfilling in order to make room for new ones.

5. No high school relationship is worth planning your future around.

6. You may not be friends forever, but that doesn’t make the friendship less valuable. Not everything meaningful must also be permanent.

7. Find a teacher at school who will help you skip “mandatory” pep rallies.

8. Good teachers will change your life if you lean into your education.

9. Crying in front of other people doesn’t make you weak.

10. Remember that your life will never be as easy as it is right now. Enjoy being supported and be grateful for it.

11. Approach your education as a privilege and not as a chore.

12. You’ll stop worrying about what other people think about you once you realize that people are very rarely thinking about you. I mean this in the best way possible.

13. Learn how to advocate for yourself. Now.

14. Sometimes risky decisions lead to good memories and great stories. Sometimes risky decisions lead to trauma.

15. Learn how to omit excessive “likes” from your sentences before you become an actual adult.

16. Don’t make everything into a Big Deal.

17. It is rare that you can successfully teach a shitty friend how to not be a shitty friend.

18. Remember that you are only at the beginning.

In Your 20s

By Marielle Argueza

1. Contrary to the informational pamphlet, universities can’t bring you the real world. You have to seek it out and live in it.

2. You may never become friends with your parents, but you can forgive them.

3. Friend breakups are as difficult as romantic breakups.

4. Take off your makeup before you sleep and wear sunscreen. Every. Single. Day.

5. You are not your job, your major or your relationship.

6. Wash your sheets frequently. You’ll feel better.

7. No Karen, you’re not “honoring” your one-sixteenth Cherokee “heritage” with that headdress that you want to wear to Coachella.

8. Learn to listen by shutting up and learn to respond with a question.

9. The universe is not conspiring against you, but your priorities might be.

10. Caring about the environment doesn’t necessarily mean going vegan and buying new shoes made of recycled ocean plastic. A lot of the time it’s revamping your consumption.

11. Find your shade of red lipstick.

12. Sometimes you’re different, but other times you’re average. Embrace both.

13. Failures are almost always constructive criticism. Verbal and psychological abuse is not.

14. Look at your bank statements every single week.

15. You’re probably using the words “actually” and “literally” incorrectly.

16. Know how to order and make a cocktail that you like.

17. If you want to travel cheaply and well, think small. Stay in neighborhoods and make friends in those neighborhoods, instead of generalizing an entire country. London isn’t the entire UK. Parisians are different from the Lyonnais. Cabo isn’t the capital of Mexico, Chad.

18. Assume you are never the smartest person in the room and that’s OK.

19. Sorries aren’t reserved for the douche bag talking over you. They’re for apologies. For example: “Sorry, I’ll try not to finish this thought while you’re talking over me...d-bag.”

10. Learn to be proud of yourself. You’ll find more validation in yourself than in others.

In Your 30s By Christine Argueza-Prince

1. Thirties are really the new 20s. “You get a re-do! You get a re-do. Everyone gets a re-do!” -Oprah

2. By now, people you know will have had babies, are married (or divorced), and have a bunch of letters like PhD, MBA, and M.D. after their names. Measure your success with your own stick.

3. If you’re not using a calendar and the Pomodoro Technique, you’re not as productive as you think you are.

4. Wit and grit will get you pretty damn far.

5. There will never be “a good time to have a baby.” Define your own timeline.

6. Two words: email etiquette

7. The time to start thinking about your next promotion is the day you get promoted. Don’t get too comfy.

8. Have the audacity to put yourself in charge (see no.9)

9. ...you can start by planning and hosting a party. Preferably not the kind that results in two DUIs and a paternity test.

10. Public speaking is a skill to master. Know how to present without PowerPoint slides. Gasp!

11. Find a good tailor and hem your clothes to fit you. Zara didn’t know that you’re 5’2 and curvy.

12. Find someone to mentor. Then you will know if you are truly ready to lead.

13. If you had a crappy day, it is not okay to unload it at home. If you must, it is wise to ask if people have the mental space for it.

14. Learn how to fight with your significant other without slamming doors and breaking dishes.

15. If you’re feeling unusually moody, numb, or uninterested in the things that typically make you happy—please ask for help.

16. It’s easy to become a cynic. This perspective is not your only option.

17. Ninety percent of your groceries should come from the perimeter of the grocery store.

18. Instant food is (mostly) gross. Know how to make your childhood faves like mac and cheese and pizza from scratch.

19. No, chicken breast doesn’t need to be washed before cooking. But you do need to season them, Shiela. Remember this: lemon pepper is poison.

20. If coffee is life, you should have a moka pot, pour over, or french press in your cupboard. On that note, grind your own coffee beans.

21. Treat yourself on your own dime.

22. Treat your health and wellness first. I am talking about that really good moisturizer, a 90-minute massage and a bouquet of flowers just because.

23. A 13 percent interest rate for a BMW is not a good decision. Your paycheck should pay YOU, not Sammy the sales employee of the month.

24. You should be on your own Netflix, phone, and car insurance plan by now.

25. Take care of your mouth. Nothing is worse than your future boss or beau walking away because you have terrible oral hygiene. Colgate is BOGO at Walgreens, so is lip balm.

26. As it turns out, orange is not the new black. If you must get a tan, go to the beach.

27. No Ashley, you did not live in Europe on your post-college trip. That was a vacation and Europe is one whole continent. Also, Disney is not the happiest place on Earth.

28. Know the freedom of traveling or eating in a really fancy restaurant all by yourself.

29. You can always see how a (wo)man will treat you in seven years with a baby when you invite them over for a home cooked meal. If they’re dancing you around in the kitchen—they’re a keeper!

30. If you are not living that fragrance-free, pasture-raised, organic life, you’re not about that life. No, really. Read labels and know what can prolong your sweet life and what can kill you.

From everyone at Away from the Desk, congratulations class of 2020.

#2020 #classof2020 #featured #clutter #_full_size

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graveyardari97 · 7 years

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Max Didn’t Cause the Storm/Chloe’s Death

This is like what my fourth/fifth Life is Strange post since Before the Storm dropped this is how much I think about this game. Anyways, on to my theory.

I don’t believe Max caused the storm, she only had her powers for a week. That tornado/hurricane thingy was huge a storm that big couldn’t be caused by just a week’s worth of changing minor things.

I’m not one for time travel logic but it seems very odd that Max could create a whole storm based on a week’s long of decisions.

No, I don’t think Max caused it. Now you’re like well Ashley if Max didn’t cause the storm who did/what did?

I believe Mark Jefferson is the real root of the storm. Don’t you find it odd that he can go announcing Victoria Chase as the Everyday Hero to the junkyard in that span of time?

What is Jefferson has time power and that’s part of the reason why he was so fixated with Max.

The Dark Room has been there a while and he has never been caught. He fucked up when he killed Rachel Amber.

.Yes, I am part of the group that thinks Nathan is innocent of all wrongdoings involving Rachel.

Nathan’s an ass, that point is apparent. But he doesn’t look like he has the ability to kill even if by accident. He freaks out when he shoots Chloe by accident if he got spooked by that I doubt he could try dosing Rachel.

Nathan doesn’t look all that conscious in the junkyard picture either. But that could be up for debate because it’s not a detailed picture.

Anyways, what if throughout all of the game Jefferson’s following Max and Chloe and using he’s rewind power to throw them off his trail which is why it took so long to figure out it was him until the last two episodes.

He’s not exactly subtle either. The first line we get from him is about framing you in a dark room. Even if no one knows about it why would you risk people questioning that phrase?

[I also know the voice actor of Jefferson didn’t mean to say it but the game developers kept it in so that means it canon]

Cut dialogue between him and Max sometime after Kate commits suicide/attempts he openly says he’s not an everyday hero in terms of “helping” Kate the conversation continues with Max telling Jefferson that she saw him talking to Victoria and he gets mad saying ��You might be the noisiest student in the history of Blackwell” why would a teacher say this to a student? And if you report Nathan for having a gun and accusing him of drugging Kate, Jefferson says Nathan’s not threat. He also said in this cut dialogue “regret and nostalgia can be a dangerous combo. You can’t change the past, Max. You just have to accept your choices and “walk on” which is my clever exit cue” This is an oddly phrased sentence for choosing to get David’s Blackwell privileges revoked.

Max says she feels guilty yet he deserves it for making Kate cry but she never said she regrets it.

Either the storm was gunna happen regardless or Jefferson caused it cuz in another cut dialogue when Nathan catches you breaking into his room he yells. “The storm is coming! Everyone’s waiting for the storm” if you let Warren beat him up a bit and you stop him, I doubt Nathan has time power cuz if he did he’d use it to rewind back to not kill Rachel so who would he know about a storm? Mark Jefferson maybe.

Jefferson keeps Max on drugs even after he takes his creepy pictures of her. Why would he need Max drugged if he was gunna leave her strapped to that chair when he was gone? Because he knows that if she’s impaired she can’t use her powers.

Perhaps this is a long stretch but it makes a bit more sense to me. Cuz Chloe’s completely dead in episode 4/5 yet the storm keeps coming. Even if you do sacrifice Chloe it doesn’t make sense that, that is what stops the storm cuz again if Chloe’s death is what stops it then we wouldn’t have had an episode 5. Everything changes because Jefferson is arrested and all his deeds are discovered.

For a story that makes us save Chloe a lot for her death to stop a storm wherein the big reveal that Mark Jefferson was the real enemy. Cuz if Chloe’s death truly stopped the storm then why is it still coming after she’s dead and Max is trying her hardest to get back to Chloe.

Sacrificing Chloe, means you don’t go investigating into Rachel’s disappearance basically stopping the whole adventure of the game. Which also means Jefferson doesn’t have this thing out for Max because towards the end of the game he gets progressively angrier the more we poke into everything. How else can you explain his clear distant for Chloe when he’s never been one scene with her and never heard anything about her?

I think the game developers didn’t think about Chloe’s death that much stopping the storm. Cuz we can’t go from still having one after the fact to never having one before Max gets’s her powers cuz wouldn’t it make more sense logically if it were Max’s death that provides the storm.

If it truly was her power then her going back to the beginning of the game and having her get shot by Nathan would stop the storm cuz she wouldn’t have gotten her powers and if she still did she wouldn’t have used it cuz she would’ve died. But no we can’t kill the main character right; reversing Chloe for Max makes a hell of a lot more sense in the grand scheme of the story. Since everything started with her it should’ve ended with her, not Chloe.

The one with the powers should stop the storm, not the other way around.

I would still be sad if we had to sacrifice Max to stop the storm but it would feel like a better pay off in a way it would’ve put more weight to our decisions for changing tiny things like Dana’s pregnancy test, dropping the paint on Victoria, the files falling in the gas.

IDK

Also, side note: if Nathan "killed" Rachel why did he get all happy when he thought Max was her. Food for thought.

A thing that came up while watching AGirlAndAGame’s video about Jefferson being a time travel.She points out that he’s not freaking out about the snow if you rewind you can hear him saying “I see you, Max”. She also says that the moon disappears when they go to the junkyard could be Jefferson.She says that Jefferson messing with time might be fucking with Max’s timeline which further proves to me Jefferson caused the storm!

To also add, if Rachel truly caused the storm. I still think it’s a cop-out. The idea of Rachel controlling air is cool in all but since it’s not canon it doesn’t hold any water. The storm stopping because Chloe is dead because Rachel has her back is still kinda fucked. Because Rachel didn’t tell Chloe about Frank for one and didn’t tell her about Mark Jefferson.

I think 100% if Rachel told Chloe about Jefferson she wouldn’t be dead! Chloe clearly has strong feelings for the blonde she would’ve fought so hard to make sure Rachel was okay. Chloe seems like the type of person that can detect bullshit.

Chloe would’ve asked how old Jefferson was and been the friend to tell Rachel that she shouldn’t try to go out with him. The way Life is Strange plays around with Rachel’s character makes her seem like a total bitch to Chloe. So, the storm stopping because she’s “reunited” with Chloe is bullshit.

Rachel had a fling with Frank that Chloe had no knowledge of and was pissed. Rachel then went on for her to have a thing with Jefferson. Idk the game kinda makes you want to believe Rachel was a hoe to get money to leave Arcadia Bay. Cuz there’s no timeline of when she started dating Frank when they broke up to her seeing Jefferson. Chloe and Rachel might not have had a relationship it could’ve been one-sided on Chloe’s part but Rachel just entertained the idea. Which is why it was so easy for her to hop from Frank to Jefferson.

Life is Strange just fucks up Rachel Amber as a character that we’re supposed to be invested in despite never seeing her. From just episode 1 of Before The Storm, Deck Nine is doing everything right. Rachel doesn’t feel like an ass to Chloe even when she blows up at her in the junkyard. In Life is Strange Dontnod makes it seem like Rachel never gave two shit about Chloe!

I want Deck Nine to be the new head of any Life is Strange game! Because they seem to have their shit together. Ironic seeing as I was skeptical I was when I heard it wasn’t the original development team.

Deck Nine proved me wrong in all the right ways! Shit, I’m pretty sure Deck Nine would’ve made amberpricefield a thing!

#life is strange #chloe price #max caulfield #rachel amber #amberpricefield #pricefield #mark jefferson #nathan prescott

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thefantasysuite · 6 years

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Arie’s Bachelor Preview

Finally. Maybe it just seems longer because I didn’t post much during ette or paradise, but it’s about time we got some new info on the OG of dating shows. The cast has finally been released. I’m going to assume that like me, your heart skipped a beat when you got that google alert stating as much. I glanced at a few pictures, but have held off reading anything about any of the ladies to make sure I captured first impression. You wouldn’t stand out there greeting each as she comes out of the limo and then get black out drunk and not remember what you first thought the next morning. Unless of course you are a contestant on this show and have already stalked the bachelor for months on end. In that case, pass the alcohol.

If you’ve followed this blog at all you know I like to stay away from off season drama. You had your 15 mins of fame. As Mr. Wonderful eloquently puts it:

But since it’s the season of giving I’ll give you a quick update on last year’s bachelor, Nick. Him and Vanessa broke up. The end. But seriously, this is what they looked like right after they were able to make their ‘arrangement’ public:

Yeah. Good job convincing everyone that was going to last.

Alright Moving right along. The bachelor this year is Arie Luyendyk:

I don’t remember feeling strongly about Arie one way or another when he was on. I do remember feeling strongly about the bachelorette that he was chasing after however:

Back to Arie. He comes from a family that likes to race cars. The F1 circuit to be precise. For all intents and purposes I’m going to group that in with NASCAR because the jokes are easier. Matt and Trey got 22 minutes out of making fun of NASCAR:

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I can do a season of the bachelor.

Arie’s bachelor announcement doesn’t come without some controversy. He may have broken up with girlfriend right before he became the bachelor:

http://www.etonline.com/exclusive-arie-luyendyk-jrs-ex-girlfriend-says-she-was-blindsided-bachelor-casting-their-breakup

It also appears Arie has a type when you look at his ex compared to the former bachelorette:

Enough about Arie. Let’s see the skanks that will be racing after his heart (get used to a bunch corny puns relating to his former profession)

Ali

Ali is a personal stylist. Got a quick tip for Ali. Next time ABC offers to have their professional stylist help you out before your headshot, don’t say “I got this”. The most embarrassing thing she listens to is Nickelback. While unrelated, please check out this clip of another Chad Kroeger fighting his local government to keep house parties a god given right:

youtube

The Beastie Boys would be proud

Amber

3 people dead or alive you’d like to have lunch with. You can tell a lot about a person in how they answer. Starting your list off with Kim Kardashian says more than enough. What can you possibly ask her in which the honest answer isn’t “sex tape”? How did you get so famous? Sex tape. How did you break into the industry? Sex tape. What drove your step dad to become a woman? Sex tape

Annaliese

I feel like Annaliese misunderstood the question 5 things you can’t live without. She listed 3 different types of food and 2 emotions. I think the producers are looking for you to say something like wi-fi and your favorite hoody. She also listed Miley Cyrus and Chrissy Tiegan as people she would want to be. Guessing there isn’t much going on upstairs with this one

Ashley

Ashley looks super boring. Doubt she makes it past night 1. She hates doing laundry because it takes her a week to go from washing her clothes, to folding, to putting them away. Pft. I leave that shit in the dryer and go grab a pair of socks and underwear as needed. Amateur

Becca K

Becca has quite the jawline on her. Hopefully she has a smokin hot body. Becca is a publicist. You know who was also a publicist? Fucking Shauna:

Something tell me Becca is publicizing people more like Johnny Drama and less like Vincent Chase

Bekah M

Bekah is very intriguing. This might be a first, but her age isn’t listed in her bio. And I really want to know what it is. Her profession is nanny so I would assume she’s pretty young. But past contestant Corrine also had a nanny and she was pretty old. I know it’s because of the hair, but I’m getting a Morena Baccarin vibe:

I’ve got my eye on this one

Bibiana

I’m guessing Bibiana has quite a bit of personality. This has to be the girl other girls hate, right? She’s an executive assistant and former NFL cheerleader. I vote Bibi as most likely to tell everyone that she isn’t there to make friends and to start calling Arie her man

Bri

Bri is a sports reporter. I needed to look it up to be sure:

Now I’m not saying someone that’s already been on TV can’t fall in love with someone else on TV. But if she gets to the final 3 this season, fans like her, and a sideline job happens to open up with ABC she may have her eyes on a prize other than Arie

Brittane J

At the risk of making an off(on)-color joke, I’m going to guess that is a new way to spell Brittany. And is she winking? Lunch with 3 people dead or alive she went with Whitney Houston, Bernie Sanders, Beyonce. When the bill came Bernie made sure that Whitney Houston’s estate paid for her meal before the new tax bill gets rid of the death tax. (Hey. She got political, not me)

Brittany T

Seeing her listed as Brittany T confirms that the previous girl does pronounce it as Brittany. This Brittany would like to have lunch with Chris Evans, Hillary Clinton (shudder), and Beyonce. When Chris Evans goes on a coke binge he better hope he stays away from the bathtub to relax afterwards (See Whitney Houston above). Also, do you think Hillary ordered a side of beef at lunch? I remember when she got chucked into a van like a side of beef at a 9/11 memorial ceremony:

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#neverforget

Caroline

I’m out on Caroline. She doesn’t have a dog yet, but can’t wait to find someone to “co-parent” a dog with. You would be a dog owner, not a parent. I bet she also can’t wait to “play house” with Arie. She’s going to be that girl that Arie tries to have a serious conversation with and can’t stop giggling while talking about how much fun they have together

Chelsea

Chelsea is boring and generic. Sticks out in no way. Not pretty. Not ugly. Thinks France is the most romantic city. Listed grade school sports as something she did competitively (read: unathletic). Likes warm weather, but not too warm. I don’t see anything here. I suspect an early pass (racing jokes) from Arie

Jacqueline

I’m trying to figure out who Jackie looks like. Right now I’m stuck on a poor (very poor) man’s Winnie Cooper:

I don’t think that’s the right answer, so I am open to suggestions. I also kind of wanted to look up Danica McKellar so I’m not mad. This will never work out though. She keeps talking about her career and how important it is to her. Career first women don’t win. They usually become the bachelorette. Not that I’m suggesting that will happen. Just that she has no chance

Jenna

Jenna is a social media manager from Indiana. Speaking of, I need to fire mine. When she eventually reads this post I expect https://twitter.com/thebachtweets to be updated with the new season flair. Jenna’s favorite show is Friends. I’m going to diagnose her as Monica. Looks like she is bubbly, can provide some comic relief when necessary, and probably has a nerdy brother named Ross that keeps finding ways to screw up everything with his much hotter girlfriend. How you doin’??

Jenny

Jenny’s most afraid of picking the wrong person to marry. I guess you can’t make that mistake if the bachelor picks you. She probably has nightmares about being the bachelorette. Many of her answers indicate that she’s outdoorsy and loves adventure. She looks just the opposite. Maybe her idea of camping is hanging out in a motor home watching netflix while a fire burns outside

Jessica

Jessica’s occupation is television host and I immediately couldn’t wait to look up which show. Then I saw she was from Canada, which isn’t real tv. Is Degrasi still on? But then I looked her up and it’s worse than Canadian tv host. She has a youtube channel called Jessica Carroll TV.......(So what if I watched the video ‘Get Pool Party Ready). So we have smoking hot girl living in LA that’s used to the camera. Guess who might get called out first for not being there for the right reasons

Kendall

I feel like Kendall has a drink in one or both hands of this picture. This chick is weird. If she could be any animal she went with bat. Most romantic gift was an alligator hand holding an iron heart in a jar because she collects taxidermy. As long as it wasn’t an alligator holding a human hand. Carl Weathers would have been pissed:

Krystal

Krystal is one of those fitness nuts. I feel like that’s a profession/hobby that never does well on this show either. She says she is most afraid of unused potential. Lol. She must moonlight as a life coach. Trying to remember back to when Arie was on the bachelorette he didn’t strike me as a real go getter. I feel like Krystal is going to push him to be better and Arie will end up channeling his brother in name and hit her with:

Lauren B

I think Lauren B goes far. Pretty girl. No weird answers. What is my first rule about going on this show? Don’t be weird. She has a second degree black belt in Tae Kwon Do. By the way, whatever happened to Billy Blanks?

Lauren G

Lauren has the real descriptive occupation of executive recruiter. Her favorite tv show is ‘This is Us’. I’ve never seen an episode, but based on the people that watch it and from what I’ve heard it sounds like one long ass chick flick. It’s like tv networks needed to try and scoop up the ‘Parenthood’ audience that loves mushy feel good/make you cry stories and we ended up here. Those shows are the worst (And no, the bachelor is not the scripted reality version of those shows).

Lauren J

Lauren is honest. Asked if she’s neat or messy, she concedes to being messy. Doesn’t like playing games with guys, just tells them how she feels. Eats full meals in bed. Can’t live without mascara. She’s also 33 so no time to beat around the bush. I think she’ll end up getting super jelly when she sees Arie making out with other girls. I’m gonna say she ends up in the top 5. Arie wants a young girl to parade around for a little while. Lauren is probably trying to have kids tomorrow

Lauren S

The run on Lauren’s continues. We’ve got another social media manager on our hands. It’s funny thinking back to the first season of the bachelor and knowing how that job wouldn’t have even existed. When asked if she could be anyone in the world she went with ‘anyone in Taylor Swift’s girl squad’. You wouldn’t want to be....I don’t know....Taylor Swift instead? Not very lofty girls for this one. She’s an early out

Maquel

Maquel? Whatever. Guess we are just making names up at this point. Her favorite holiday is Halloween. She loves dressing up and creepy/scary stuff. I’m guessing she is more Cady and less Regina:

Marikh

Maybe the weirdest answer to a question that I’ve seen:

What? So you don’t want to accidentally confirm an incorrect assumption? Keep in mind that she was asked this question, had time to think it over, decided to go with that. I think Marikh might break down if asked where she wants to go to eat. “I love Olive Garden but I hate their breadsticks and salad and pasta so let’s go there”

Nysha

Nysha looks like she’s embarrassed to take this photo and have an official Bachelor headshot that will live forever. I don’t see Nysha doing real well this season. Her answer on favorite tv show and fictional character comes off as a bit “I don’t need no man”. Try not to make a scene when you don’t get a rose

Olivia

Olivia is 23. She looks even younger than that. Favorite book is 50 shades of grey. Not sure she was old enough to read that when it first came out. Do you think she secretly hopes Arie has a sex dungeon? Probably would have been a good intern for Matt Lauer.

Seinne

I’m going to guess that Seinne is this year’s Rachel (you know what I’m getting at). Favorite tv show is Game of Thrones. I don’t care for the show. Watched the first season and couldn’t believe I wasted that much time. Don’t get the appeal at all. If I hear Dilly Dilly one more time I’m going to fucking lose it

Tia

Tia could win this year, be the girl that everyone hates, or be the next bachelorette. I’ll know by the end of the first episode, but right now I have no clue. I’m looking for key things in her answers and she says ‘sassy’ as well as having gone to a swingers resort. I’m going to go with the one everyone loves to hate. But I reserve the right to change my mind

Valerie

Valerie is a server in Nashville (failed country music artist). She’s 25 and has over 50 Halloween costumes. Maybe she celebrates it multiple times a year. I just hope she doesn’t have that thick twang when she talks. That’s so annoying

There they are. The desperate fame whores looking to make their mark January 1st. I do wonder about airing the premiere on the 1st. I know there isn’t a ton of crossover between individuals when it comes to the bachelor and college football, but I can imagine a fight or two between couples when it’s the football semi-finals vs bach premiere. The game airs on ESPN which is of course owned by ABC’s parent company of Disney. I would suggest holding off a week but the national championship game is played that next Monday.

See ya after the premiere

- Nick

#The Bachelor #arie

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iguana012 · 7 years

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Intro post: Tatsuki Machida

Now that the off-season is officially here, skating fans will have the opportunity to see their retired faves again and in Team Japan’s case the number of retired faves has been increasing every year. Of all TJ retired “stars”, one of them stands out through their personality, way of thinking, skating, and why not - refusal to speak to the media again.

Tatsuki Machida was what people call a “2nd tier” skater until his last couple of competitive seasons. He was the “almost there but not quite” guy. Nobody in his family was involved with skating and he was doing it just for fun until he saw Daisuke Takahashi and decided he wanted to become a skater like him.

His life story has inspired skaters and fans alike; thanks to him, many people were encouraged watching him get out of the crowd and reach the top. It’s probably one of the most beautiful “underdog becomes hero” fairy tales. But just like every other inspirational story, there’s more pain and sadness behind the medals than fulfillment and happiness.

Early life

He was born a premature baby and the doctors told his mother there were chances he wouldn’t survive. His mother stood by his incubator praying until he started feeling better.

He has a younger sister Sakura and his father is a company employee at Mazda

He was very close to his maternal grandmother Kumiko, who gave him a handmade amulet. Kumiko embroidered his silhouette on it. He always kept it in the pocket of his warm up jacket.

When Kumiko fell sick, he wrote a letter to her: "My mother wants to visit Tottori to take care of you, but she can't. She can't leave here since I'm a figure skater. I feel very sorry for it." Kumiko died of cancer.

He used to live in Hiroshima. His mother worked in two places at the same time to pay the costs for his skating.

When he was in the second year of University, his mother fell sick and spent over a month in the hospital. As he had seen how hard she worked, he told her "I'll try my best to earn prize money and to be a skater who will be invited to many shows. So please leave one of your two jobs"

His mother and sister often went to see him compete. He is very close to his sister.

Although he was living in Hiroshima, he decided to attend the same high school as Daisuke Takahashi in Kurashiki city, Okayama. He had to take the train every day.

He was obsessed with video games so much that one time he showed up at the rink with his console instead of his skating boots.

He started taking interest in books when he traveled by train to school and back.

He moved to Osaka when he entered Kansai University and joined the Kansai University skating club.

The Kansai University skating club is now famous for its skaters: Nobuo and Kumiko Sato, Daisuke Takahashi, Nobunari Oda, Satoko Miyahara and Marin Honda.

He became close friends with Takahito Mura and Keiji Tanaka.

Making a name for himself

He won the Jr National Championships in 2006 and placed 9th at the 2007 Jr World Championships

In 2008 he met Yuzuru Hanyu with whom he later developed a new friendship

In 2009 he finished 4th at the National Championships and was listed as first substitute for the Vancouver Olympics

In 2010 he won his first major international medal, a silver at the Four Continents Championships

He and Yuzuru Hanyu were assigned to their first (and same) Grand Prix event but none of them had a strong debut; Tatsuki had started trying quads in competition but he only landed one at the 2010 Nebelhorn Trophy, where he won the gold medal

In 2011 he moved to Lake Arrowhead to train with Anthony Liu, a coach he had met earlier at a summer camp

Anthony Liu became like a father - older brother figure for him. With his help, he started to become more consistent

In 2012 he contacted Phillip Mills after watching Ashley Wagner’s “Black Swan” program. He wanted a similar “bird-themed” program for himself. Mills choreographed Firebird for him

He became very close to Mills and his family; Mills would later describe him “A diamond; no colors, just sparkles. Sparkles of talent.”

Rise to fame and retirement

By 2012 he had become Phillip Mills and Stephane Lambiel’s new muse; he was skating a Lambiel program for his short and a Mills program for his long

He finally qualified for the Grand Prix Final when he was 22, but finished last

He had a strong desire to go to Worlds but he finished 9th at the Japanese Nationals that same season

He was deeply disappointed with himself but was already facing the Olympic season and he vowed he would rise from his own ashes. He shaved his head and started choreographing his first program, Byakuyako.

At the start of the 2013-2014 season, he had only landed 2 ratified quads in competition. From then on he landed 28 in just a season and a half.

He reached the Nationals podium for the first time, qualified for his first Olympics and Worlds and became the #2 man in the country and the world

He used to say he was aiming for the gold medal at the 2015 Worlds and was considering competing until 2018

He was talking about his FS as something that had never been seen before, and a challenge for him artistically and technically

He forbid the media to disclose details about his new programs and he used to practice with the windows of the rink covered

His new SP, Fantasy for Violin and Orchestra, was inspired by his personal experiences in his love life

Phillip Mills told the media it was only the beginning of what Tatsuki had to offer to the audience

Nobody knew he intended to retire until the day he announced it

The Aftermath

His mother, Yayoi Machida: “At first he was saying his goal was the World Championships. He would have possibly gone to Worlds if he had made the podium at the Nationals. Perhaps he thought he didn’t deserve to.”

He always brought around 5 books with him to every competition he went and always valued the artistic side of figure skating: for his FS Symphony no 9 he held his opening pose for 20 seconds so that the music could be longer, as the limit of 4:30 minutes was too short for the symphony.

Takahiko Kozuka: "Whenever we had meetings and press conferences we all enjoyed his comments which are well known as the ‘Machida quotes’. His way of thinking was completely different from ours and that will always be my perception of him. He was very different from me or any other skater for that matter. He was one of a kind."

Yuzuru Hanyu: “My ideal image of a man is Tatsuki. As an athlete and as a performer, he never turns away from the road he’s chosen.”

He told Takahito Mura “I know you have the ability so I’ll be counting on you to carry on the years I’ve given up on and achieve the things I couldn’t.” Mura said Tatsuki could have stayed for longer.

“We enjoyed chatting even though he was never the type who talked much,” Mura describes Machida. “But he’s always been unique, and his breakthrough came around the time of ‘Timshel’. I was very shocked to find out that a skater who had been competing with me all this time had retired. His presence has been a big part of my life and I am truly grateful for his words - 'I entrust everything to you’. I have to get good results and do my best for him."

"He retired just so suddenly. Otsukaresama from the bottom of my heart,” Daisuke Murakami said, choking up. “I’ve been rooting for him so much and I’ve worked so hard to catch up with him… he’s truly been an inspiration. The first word he told me was 'ganbatte’ (give your best). I will do that, keeping his words in my mind.”

At the 2012 NHK Trophy, Murakami suffered a serious injury. The socket in his right shoulder was dislocated and he needed an urgent surgery. He had to go on a long hiatus from skating to recover and he thought of retirement. But the only thing that changed his mind was Machida.“He was amazing,” Murakami says, referring to Machida’s 2013-2014 season. “He had a brilliant breakthrough at that time. His presence at the Sochi Olympics inspired me and I decided to keep going because I haven’t reached my full potential yet."

Yoshinori Onishi, his last coach: “When I heard he retired, my wife and I burst into laughter. That’s just like him, I thought.”

Machida would always say “I’m the 6th ranked skater” and other such timid things, so Onishi told him “Humans are like this, if you only say negative words that’s how things will be. Carrying out one’s own words is essential. If you set a huge goal for yourself won’t you be able to do it and try your best?”

“Machida’s true character is actually clumsy. This boy who struggled with chasing both grad school and skating, he did so well,” Onishi said.

Phillip Mills: “Tatsuki’s Ladies in Lavender was about something completely different but I’m hoping that the people viewed it as something that helped themselves. It’s many different things that inspire me to try and give the skaters what they deserve. Something that will help them not only grow artistically but be successful competitively and to inspire hopefully the world and develop into an artist. Not just an athlete, but an artist as well. And I think Machida has done that, with me the best of anybody thus far. I was so fortunate to work with him for all those three seasons.”

Personal life

He is currently living in Saitama, near Tokyo, attending and working at the Waseda University.

He wants to become a choreographer, art director and coach. He’d like to direct his own ice show.

He is also dedicated to finding a way to facilitate the balance between skating and studies for elite athletes.

He considers himself “simply a student, no longer a star” and has never spoken to the media since he retired in 2014.

However, he keeps getting media attention whenever he appears and is always welcomed with a loud round of applause.

When his appearance was confirmed at Prince Ice World right after his retirement, the tickets were sold out in less than 2 hours. Moreover, BS Japan broadcasted the show live for the first time in its history due to Machida’s sudden popularity.

While a classical music nerd, he also enjoys pop music and Korean pop music

He used to have a stalker who followed him closely wherever he went for about a year and a half; the stalker has disappeared from social media platforms for almost a year

He was constantly rumored to be in a relationship with fellow skater Haruka Imai; in 2014 she traveled with him in the US and Tatsuki introduced her to Phillip Mills, who choreographed her new programs

Skating style and qualities

Journalist Jean-Christophe Berlot: “As soon as Tatsuki Machida, the 2014 world silver medalist from Japan, entered into the Meriadeck rink, TV crews from Japan started following him wherever he would go, from his warm-up to concentration time to -- of course -- his practice sessions. "You can always feel when a master is entering into a hall," former great Pierre Brunet (who coached Carol Heiss to her Olympic victory) used to say. Machida's taking part in the Trophée should be an event in itself in Bordeaux.”

Tatsuki Machida on his own skating

I see figure skating as a performing art. A quadruple jump, like a quad toe, can be a piece of art in itself. A beautiful surrounding helps going into that direction, at least. So, it's important for me to use my technical capacity to create art. If you want to give a good performance, you need to understand culture, and to study the music, the composer's life, the choreography of your programs.You know -- (he smiles) -- in English, we say "figure skating," but in French, they say "artistic skating." I think they are right. Figure skating should be a performing art, just like ballet or dance. It belongs to the same category. I cherish performing arts.

During my time on the ice, I forget about the competition. I tell myself, "This is my stage." In this way I don’t just think of jumps, scores or medals. I think of expression. Jumping is also a way to express oneself. A jump is a piece of vocabulary to express one's feelings. I have to say that my skating career is 18 years old. I have worked on each one of these jumps all year long, and this for 18 years. They are just expression. I don't think of them, I just do them.The rink is my stage, and all I want to do is to focus on expression.

A quad expresses strength. It is so powerful. When I land a quad, I can hear the audience react directly. In comparison, a triple will be an enhancement to the program. I love big audiences. I always want to show my art to the entire world. In Japan, skating arenas are much bigger than this one, and they are always full!I like big audiences, especially for my long program: We have chorus in the fourth movement of Beethoven's 9th Symphony, and a big audience makes it even more special!

Tatsuki Machida’s skating through the audience’s eyes

His skating style has always been described as “larger than life”, “dramatic”, “grand”, and even “royal”. He had a commanding presence on the ice and his jumps were huge. He had one of the best 3A and probably the best 3Lz among all Japanese men. There was (and still is) a lot of meaning behind his programs; a thought, a personal experience, a feeling. He skates with his heart on his sleeve. He takes you along in his journey. He has the posture and lines of a ballet dancer. His best work is perhaps “The Inheritor”, a tribute to skating itself. Every jump is included in the program, in between intricate transitions and balletic choreography. It is the very essence of Tatsuki Machida - the person, the skater, the artist.

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More info, articles, edits and videos on http://tatsuki-machida.tumblr.com/

#Tatsuki Machida #figure skating

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thejetsetblog · 7 years

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Short Models Matter Too

Standing at a whopping 5′2″, I am 2 inches shorter than the average height in the United States. You might be thinking, “You’re not a midget, you’re not that short.” It surprised me a little to find out that the average height of women in the U.S. is 5′4″. With my family roots being Vietnamese, statistically I am actually not that short. Ironically, in all my circle of friends growing up I was either the shortest or among the shortest of the group. So why is the minimum height for most modeling agencies strictly 5′7″ - 5′8″? In the fashion industry, especially runways, beauties from across the globe stun the crowd in gorgeous designer outfits and bikinis. All are tall and thin, gracing the stage with their noticeably long legs. Even in my most recent trip to Miami Swim Week, all the models were considerably taller than the average American woman. However, certain companies were not as strict to the height rule. For the most part, it should be noted that the majority of the models were indeed at least 5′7″ without heels. One particular runway line caught my eye, however. In fact, I think they caught everyone’s eye. For me, this was the first time I witnessed a fashion runway and saw plus size models. I was truly grateful to see at least one company break the standards, and bring not only diversity to the stage but almost history.

I started my modeling career via Instagram. The camera I used to start capturing my modeling photos was my iPhone 5. At the time, my photo shoots consisted of me turning to my friend at the time and say “Hey! Can you take my picture really quickly?” or I set my GoPro on a timer and walked back and forth in front of it until I got the shot that I liked. When I first started playing the Instagram game, it was still relatively new. Most people have not downloaded the app, and the term “Insta-famous” wasn’t even relevant. I had a few friends who have already been doing photography at the time, but I was too scared to tell everyone that I wanted to be a model. I was in my second to last year of college, and I had so many things I wanted to accomplish and was too afraid too. Growing up, I was always very shy and slow to warm up to. I was super uncomfortable with myself, had trouble making friends, and I always wanted to be somebody besides myself. I loved sports and I let that be my rock, school was my forte, and I did meet some very good people but I was still on a soul searching journey. I’ve always wanted to be a role model where girls like me could look up to. I needed something to help me break out of my shell, I needed something to help me gain my confidence. I wanted to help and inspire people, whether or not I was in a medical field. I wanted to see someone go out there and break the standards, because kindness became rarer and rarer every day. We needed more kindness in the world. I wanted girls to see someone who not only earned a degree, but earned a degree while chasing their dreams too.

Upon starting my Instagram, I renamed my original account and vamped it up to become my modeling platform and portfolio. At the time, Alana Blanchard ( @alanareneblanchard ) was (and still is) my biggest inspiration. She is dubbed “the world’s hottest surfer” and not only is she a stunning model, she is also a talented athlete. She really inspired me, and I basically learned how to model from her. I ultimately taught myself to model, and I slowly became more comfortable in front of the camera. Not only did I teach myself how to model, I also taught myself how to surf. I whipped myself into tip top shape, I strengthened my shoulders by paddling 2 miles at beach every day for almost an entire summer. I created my own routine at the gym, and got into the best shape since my basketball years. I gained my following very quickly. I posted photos of my every day lifestyle. I had surfing shots, and even skimboarding shots. I snapped shots of my outfits I put together, and mainly I had beachy and bikini lifestyle shots. I just made my Instagram fun, and I wanted people to share in it too. Slowly, I wrangled in about 70 - 100 followers almost every day. It was all an organic following. In addition, companies started collaborating with social influencers so the bikinis and e-mails started pouring in. The more I kept creating, the better and better I became. I learned as much as I could every step of the way. I eventually caught the eye of some big companies. Sun Bum scouted me out to bring me on their team, and I won an amazing contest with O’Neill Women’s (see the links at the bottom of my page). I went to my first surf expo in Orlando and it felt so amazing to hear people be so in love with my work and congratulate me on how far I’ve come. Everything started to fall into place. I slowly started believing in myself as I created my dream career, and starting achieving my goals. I found myself in modeling, and I fell in love with it. I loved creating something beyond words. My content and photography started to become my world, and I couldn’t have been happier. Everything comes with their challenges, however. With all good things come the haters, and a lot of scam artists. Unfortunately for them, they never ended up breaking my spirits and I have always found a way to be stronger and better.

After I graduated college and earned my Bachelor’s degree in Biology, I tried my best to make modeling a full time job. I managed to get booked by very cool companies, I got to meet and become friends with some amazing people, and I became so confident in front of the camera. I continued to find myself, and who I wanted to be. And I wanted to keep inspiring and helping people. It became easier for me to constantly create photos and set up my own shoots. It basically became second nature, and if I couldn’t figure something out I constantly worked at it until I improved. I became established and respected, but I’m still not at the point where I’m constantly booking modeling gigs or I wasn’t always paid for my posts on my Instagram. Instagram started changing its algorithm as it became more and more common for girls to become “Instafamous.” Though there is a lot of negativity that stems from social media, there is a lot of good that can be brought from it. Instagram breaks the height barrier that most modeling agencies implement. In my photographs, most people cannot guess what my actual height is. Most people have told me that they thought I was a lot taller. Some companies don’t even use modeling agencies to book their models, and a lot of the models they actually book are shorter than 5′7″. Recently, I contacted a few agencies and even visited one in the hopes of making my dreams a full blown career. Friends that have visited agencies gave me advice saying that seeing a model in person is considerably different than an e-mail. So I decided to visit a couple. My first one seemed promising, I received very good feedback. Sadly, I didn’t receive a callback. I visited one in Miami while I was traveling in south Florida. The first person that saw me, she turns her chair towards me and says “How tall are you?” I reply “5′2″ and she contests and asks if I had called the agency before coming to their office. I reply with “No” and they told me about their strict height requirement. So all in all, they refused to talk to me any longer, refused to look at any of my photos because I was “too small.” They gave me the names of local commercial agencies because they do not have a strict height requirement and sent me on my way. I think I lasted about a total of 2 minutes. Deflated, I left as fast as I possibly could only to get stuck in a flash flood in my car.

I was extremely disappointed with my experience at the agency. Though there is other types of modeling besides high fashion and runway, I was disappointed to get rejected. With so many other beautiful models out there especially on Instagram, booking gigs has become difficult. It has made it very competitive especially in Florida, since we do not have as progressive of cities like L.A. and N.Y.C. so it takes a little bit of digging around to continue networking. Regardless, I learned to take my experience with a grain of salt. I couldn’t let one bad experience ruin everything I have accomplished so far. Just because my path was a little rockier than others, it didn’t mean that it was all for nothing. Ashley Graham is currently the most famous plus size model, who graced the cover of Sports Illustrated. With plus size models hitting the runway in Miami, it was only a matter of time until a model shorter than 5′8″ hit the runway. With companies like Hollister Co. changing the look of their models completely, the standard for models have changed and made quite the step forward to be a realistic representation of women. In their newest campaign, all the women look real. There is not one specific look, or one specific type of girl. And most importantly, they look happy. In addition, Aerie campaigns don’t use any photoshop on their models. So who’s to say the runway and high fashion is only for the tall models? With all the progress that I’ve seen over the years, It’s only a matter of time until modeling changes its standards across the boards. I’ve come so far beating the odds, and it just takes that one opportunity to change everything. So until that day, I still aspire to be a model even if it’s not with an agency. There’s a lot of professional and other types of fashion I can model for. I’ve already done it. So please, share my story. I hope I continue to inspire others to chase their dreams too.

#antm #Model #storytelling #dreams #inspire #truth #modeling #tyra banks

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itswomanswork · 6 years

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Quarterly Progress Report – Q2 2018

Progress report time! I’ve been doing these quarterly progress reports for the last few years.

I find this exercise a helpful time to evaluate what happened over the last 3 months, to see what you got done, and to ask if you’re happier or otherwise better off than you were when you started.

So am I?

I think so!

Our 2nd son was born at the beginning of April, so it was a pretty light quarter work-wise. Day to day, most of my efforts have been going toward the podcast.

I’ve been a little stressed about just being in “maintenance mode” — struggling to keep up with the email and weekly production of The Side Hustle Show, and not really moving forward with any major new initiatives.

It’s a frustrating feeling, but at the same time, business is good (up 40% from last year), so I can’t complain too much.

Of course there will always be more to do, but I’m trying to recognize the “season” of life for what it is: an opportunity to spend time with Bryn while she’s on maternity leave, help with baby stuff, and unplug to chase a toddler around when he’s home from preschool.

So why a “progress” report? Because that’s what it’s all about!

To me, progress means forward motion, or actively taking the steps to improve each day. It’s one thing we can control.

Progress is universal; everyone can make progress toward their goals in some meaningful way, however small the steps may seem.

As you’ll see, it’s a cumulative, iterative process we can work on week in and week out. In May, Side Hustle Nation turned 5 years old, so you’re looking at about 1800 days of effort here.

Growth of the Nation

There are 3 main metrics I track:

Website traffic

Podcast downloads

Email subscribers

The latter is the most important.

Twitter followers and Facebook likes are great, but these are the numbers I pay the most attention to. And like the great Peter Drucker said, “What gets measured gets managed.”

Blog traffic growth:

Side Hustle Nation earned about 4400 visits a day during the quarter. That’s up about 25% compared with the same time period last year, but trending slightly down over the last 3 months and down vs Q1 as well.

(Q1 is historically a strong period. My theory is people are looking for new business ideas to start in the new year.)

Most of the spikes on the traffic chart coincide with my Thursday email newsletter.

The best traffic day of the quarter was when my monster list of ways to make extra money was featured in Rockstar Finance.

The good news is my organic traffic from Google has been very consistent, and that’s been a primary focus. I’m trying to optimize each new post to get free evergreen traffic and make sure the posts that are already ranking are relevant, sticky, and (if applicable) monetized.

Podcast download growth:

After passing 5 million lifetime downloads during Q1, The Side Hustle Show averaged 6200 downloads a day in Q2.

The most popular episodes were the $60k a year part-time blog, James Johnson’s freelance writing lessons, and Abbey Ashley’s journey from active to passive income. Those have all been downloaded more than 25,000 times each so far.

And after a year-long plateau, it’s encouraging to see the show beginning to see signs of growth again. There’s a lot that goes into each episode so hopefully the upward trend continues!

I actually updated some of my iTunes settings after this chat with Jonathan from ChooseFI, who challenged new podcasters to think of how new listeners will find them.

Email list growth:

This is probably the most important metric of all, and I added close to 6000 net new subscribers during the quarter.

That’s actually a slower pace of growth than what I’ve seen during certain periods in the past, but I’m testing some less aggressive email capture strategies.

(For example, including some of the content that would have traditionally required an opt-in directly on the site.)

My theory is that could help with SEO and perhaps lead to more engaged subscribers.

The little dip on the chart is a “mini-purge” I did to remove some inactive subscribers — people who hadn’t opened an email in 6 months. I plan to do that a little more regularly going forward.

I’ve been sending weekly newsletters on Thursday (well, almost every week) for the last 5 years, but I’m re-thinking that strategy a little bit lately as well. Active Campaign has some powerful filtering / segmentation options so maybe there’s a smarter way I should be communicating.

What I’ve Been Working On

It was another weird quarter work-wise. With a new baby in the house, a steady stream of visitors/helpers, and Bryn home on maternity leave, “deep work” hustle time was extremely limited.

One of my main areas of focus was trying to get ahead on the podcast. Crazy, but every week another Thursday rolls around and the show must go on!

Building a Story Brand

If you haven’t read Donald Miller’s Building a Story Brand, I highly recommend it.

I read this in the early morning hours holding a baby, and it took a while to implement (really still a work in progress), but it’s well worth it.

You’ll learn the common structure of the best stories (books, movies), and how to position YOUR business just like the “guide” character in those stories. Let your customer be Luke; you be Yoda.

You can even fill out a full “brand script” online and watch quick explanation videos for each part. Here’s what mine looked like:

As a result of this book (and my conversation with copywriting pro Laura Belgray), I’ve actually been re-working the home page of Side Hustle Nation:

There are still a few tweaks I need to make, especially on mobile, but overall I think it does a much better job. (It’s purposely not as aggressively conversion rate optimized as it could be.)

Working with a Podcast Coach

As important as The Side Hustle Show is to me and my business, I probably haven’t been reinvesting into it as much as I should.

For that reason, I took the plunge and began working with a podcast coach for the first time.

Dave Farough (let him know I sent you!) has a long history of radio experience and has been helping me with some subtle suggestions for improvement. I think you’ll notice those in episodes starting this month.

Selling Out Sponsorships

Ad spots on The Side Hustle Show are just about sold out for the rest of the year, with just a couple pre-roll spots remaining.

It feels great to not have to think too much about that side of the business for the next several months.

Gmail Shortcuts

Gmail shortcuts have been around for years, but I never took the time to learn them until recently.

They’ll make you feel like a productivity boss as you fly through your inbox.

Side note: my mastermind members say this is a perfect example of focusing on the wrong thing. Hire someone to triage email for you, they said, instead of trying to make incremental gains processing it faster.

That’s probably fair.

Adding Pinterest Followers

My Pinterest assistant and I are trying to figure out the best ways to drive traffic from the popular content discovery site.

I was surprised when a rep from Pinterest HQ contacted us to talk about growing the account following. By encouraging my email subscribers to follow Side Hustle Nation on Pinterest, we added another 1000 followers to the account, but traffic from the site is still relatively flat.

Every now and then a pin will go medium-viral and I’ll see a spike, but I’d still like to see more traffic.

I’ve also started to use consistent fonts and colors for my pins, which should at least my boards look nicer. For what it’s worth.

7 Blog Posts

I have not prioritized writing time lately. In fact, I think this post is my first since the last progress report!

To keep the content flowing, I’ve been relying on guest writers and even experimenting with paid freelancers for the first time.

(The 90+ Best Affiliate Programs for Recurring Commissions was mostly outsourced.)

The most popular posts of the quarter were:

Direct Marketing: How We Made $30,000 from a 3-Page Website with No Traffic

35 of the Best Fiverr Gigs to Start and Grow Your Business

The best affiliate programs post linked above.

For each new article I write (with the exception of progress reports like these), I’m trying to be conscious of HOW the post will generate traffic and revenue as a standalone asset.

13 Podcast Episodes

Even though the podcast numbers have kind of plateaued, I feel like I’m practicing my craft and getting better each week. I don’t know if that shows in the listening experience, but I’ve got a process in place for producing the shows I feel good about.

The most popular episodes of the quarter were:

27 “Weird” Productivity Hacks You Can Try Today

How to Build a $60k a Year Part-Time Blog, with Brett Lindenberg

From Active to Passive Income: From $25 an Hour to 6-Figure Launches, with Abbey Ashley

The podcast was my main focus for the quarter as I keep trying to get ahead. This time, it was to build a little breathing room in advance of a month-long stint away from the office.

Practicing Early Retirement

This is more of a mindset game than any specific project or tactic. When I feel stressed out, I try and ask myself, “What would a retired person do?”

It’s my little reminder that every deadline in my business is self-imposed and it’s all voluntary.

“What would a retired person do?”

A retired person would prioritize their workout, bike or walk their kid to preschool, go on lunch dates with their wife, stop checking email at night, that sort of thing.

I think it’s helping

Starting a Month Away From the Office

Also we embarked on a month-long adventure to visit friends and family in Seattle, and to do some exploring/relaxing in Mexico. Gotta make the most of that maternity leave and take advantage of this location-independent business!

What I Bought

Here’s a new section in the report to highlight my favorite or perhaps most interesting purchases from the last 3 months.

Giant Side Hustle Show banner

My new upstairs “cloffice” set up is working great, but the problem is the webcam looks directly at a bright window, making it horribly backlit.

My solution? This giant Side Hustle Show banner that blocks the window. Plus a little more branding never hurts, right?

It was surprisingly affordable from HalfPriceBanners.com. Check ’em out!

The banner combined with this “selfie” LED light actually makes for a decent video setup. (Bryn calls it my “Kardashian light”.)

WellnessFX

I had heard about getting some baseline blood tests done years ago from either Tim Ferriss or Scott Britton, but never actually did it.

Well this quarter curiosity finally got the best of me and I wanted to see if was in good shape “inside.” I did the “Baseline” test from WellnessFX to find out.

Thankfully there were no surprises in the results, and most areas checked came back in the green:

I think it’s definitely an interesting service and will probably do it again next year or if I start to feel changes in health/energy.

Brain Octane Oil

I’ve been mixing Bulletproof coffee 4-6 days a week with Dave Asprey’s official “Brain Octane” MCT oil.

It’s part of my effort to eat more healthy fats (and fewer carbs/sugars), and attempt to practice intermittent fasting — basically not eating between 7pm and 11am.

Ever tried this stuff?

I can’t say I feel noticeably smarter or more alert, but it does seem to provide lasting energy in the mornings.

Cool Biz / Lifestyle Stuff that Happened

Little Hustler #2!

We’ve kept our new addition alive for 3 months already! He’s doing great and is way easier than his brother was — so much less barf

And big brother has only made him bleed once so far, so we’ll count that as a win! In all seriousness, he’s been a very sweet older sibling and can’t wait for a playmate.

Lots of Visitors

We had a steady stream of family at our place helping out with the baby and entertaining his brother. Since we live a couple states away, it was great to see everyone.

Instagram Stories

I never used to click on the little circular “stories” buttons at the top of Instagram, but this quarter I found myself checking them out — and adding my own for the first time.

Check me out on Instagram to follow along

Oakland Meetup

I finally got around to scheduling another Bay Area meetup for local side hustlers and had a great turnout in Oakland. One attendee even brought this amazing 3D-printed Iron Man helmet as a gift!

What Sucked?

Because it’s not always rainbows and unicorns.

A Bunch of Sites Got Hacked

“Um, you might want to check your website.”

That’s not a text you want to see!

Several of my smaller sites fell victim to a malware infection and were redirecting to some spam sites. It took a few days and a couple different services to get everything straightened out.

These were mostly neglected properties so it wasn’t a huge deal, but it was still a pain to have to deal with, and you just feel dirty and violated that someone “broke into” your virtual house.

I used a combo of WP Fix It and a seller on Fiverr to get them cleaned up. After that, I changed all the passwords, installed a backup plugin, and a security plugin. And then I set a calendar reminder to go in every month and update the themes and plugins!

Kidney Stones in the Sky

About 10 minutes after our flight took off for our month-long adventure, I got attacked by a kidney stone.

It made the short flight from Oakland to Seattle the longest of my life!

Super painful but grateful for the Southwest flight attendants and the hospital ER staff who helped me out.

What I Read

I actually had a decent amount of reading time this quarter, most of it being up super early in the morning holding a baby on the couch.

It made me super grateful for the Kindle and not having to physically turn the pages!

Building a Story Brand

Like I mentioned above, this was the most important book I read this quarter. I took action on it and am implementing some changes on the site as a direct result.

Definitely worth checking out.

The Everything Store

This is the history of Amazon through 2013 or 2014. It was fascinating to learn more about the ins and outs of this company that is at the center of so many side hustles.

The author does a good job of balancing all the positive things they’ve accomplished with their sometimes ruthless business practices and sometimes toxic internal culture.

American Kingpin

American Kingpin tracks the rise and fall of The Silk Road, a dark net site where apparently people could (and did!) buy and sell all sorts of illegal goods.

Since I never heard about this when it was actually going on — and the main character spends a good amount of time in nearby San Francisco — I thought it was awesome.

A real life page turner

Work Less Make More

James Schramko’s Work Less Make More is a quick read that will inspire you to focus on the few things that really matter in your business.

My favorite parts were his discussion of EHR; your Effective Hourly Rate and his definition of a business as “an offer that converts.”

I think you’ll like it. Well worth the $6 (current Kindle price).

Your Turn

How’d the last quarter shape up for you?

How are you tracking toward your goals?

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#IFTTT #WordPress

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haleyfury · 4 years

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Is it that much of a surprise that this reader and fangirl has an anticipated releases list solely dedicated to contemporary books? As per usual, I am excited for SO many new contemporary books in 2020 across YA, new adult, and adult fiction. And never fear, I have another anticipated releases list with all the upcoming non-contemporary books I’m most excited about coming next week.

The Map From Here to There by Emery Lord

Release Date: January 7

The much anticipated sequel to The Start of Me and You, I have a feeling I’ll be rereading The Map From Here to There (live love my love for Max Watson) at some point in the new year, after reading it for review in 2019.

Tweet Cute by Emma Lord

Release Date: January 14

Hype for Emma Lord’s Tweet Cute has (appropriately) been all over YA Twitter, and I really want this one to be one of the first 2020 releases I pick up early next year.

The Gravity of Us by Phil Stamper

Release Date: February 4

I’m so excited to read The Gravity of Us because it sounds super unique! It follows two teenage guys who are the sons of the astronauts involved in NASA’s first mission to Mars.

Of Curses and Kisses (St. Rosetta’s Academy #1) by Sandhya Menon

Release Date: February 18

Sandhya Menon is seriously blessing us contemporary YA readers in 2019 with two new books! Of Curses and Kisses is the first book in her new fairytale retelling series set at an elite boarding school.

Anna K by Jenny Lee

Release Date: March 3

An Anna Karenina retelling, Anna K sounds so extravagant. Many bloggers have especially loved its Gossip Girl and Crazy Rich Asians vibe.

Harley in the Sky by Akemi Dawn Bowman

Release Date: March 10

Many readers absolutely love Akemi Dawn Bowman’s Starfish, making me even more excited to pick up that and her upcoming release, Harley in the Sky. After a huge fight with her parents, Harley joins her family’s rival circus group to perform as a trapeze artist.

We Are the Wildcats by Siobhan Vivian

Release Date: March 31

The most anticipated book on my list, I have been basically waiting for another Siobhan Vivian book since I finished Stay Sweet in 2018. We Are the Wildcats has me especially intrigued thanks to my field-hockey playing self.

Time of Our Lives by Emily Wibberley and Austin Siegemund-Broka

Release Date: April 21

Emily Wibberley and Austin Siegemund-Broka have spoken a lot about their own long-distance relationship during college, so I’m especially excited to see them enter the college YA world with Time of Our Lives. Time of Our Livesmore-so focuses on the transition from high school to college.

Chasing Lucky by Jenn Bennett

Release Date: May 5

One of my top three releases on this list, I couldn’t be more than excited for Jenn Bennett’s Chasing Lucky. I love anything and everything about her books, but I’m so, so excited for Jenn Bennett to explore one of my favorite settings, A BOOKSTORE!

Bookish and the Beast (Once Upon a Con #3) by Ashley Poston

Release Date: June 16

Ashley Poston’s Once Upon a Con series is such a fun blend of contemporary and fandom. I’m really excited for her to take on the Beauty and the Beastretelling with this third book, Bookish and the Beast! This is one of my favorite book titles ever!

10 Things I Hate About Pinky by Sandhya Menon

Release Date: June 30

I had a feeling while reading There’s Something About Sweetie and Ashish that Pinky would be the next protagonist to take on the ‘Dimple and Rishi’ world.

Love & Olives (Love & Gelato #3) by Jenna Evans Welch

Release Date: July 7

Jenna Evans Welch’s Love & Gelato and Love & Luck are two of my favorite summer contemporary books, so I’m really excited to see her expand this world with Love & Olives. I might’ve not read a book that takes place in summertime Greece since reading The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants series!

Untitled/American Royals #2 by Katharine McGee

Release Date: Expected September 2020

Although American Royals #2 isn’t 100% contemporary, set in an alternate United States with a monarchy instead of democracy, I’m so excited for this book that I’m going to likely include in every anticipated releases post ever. There’s no official synopsis or title for American Royals #2, but I’m so interested to see where it begins, especially considering book #1’s jaw-dropping ending.

Untitled by Morgan Matson

Release Date: Expected 2020

Since Morgan Matson has published a new book every two years, it’s expected that her latest novel will come out this year. Her books usually come out between May and June. I don’t even need a synopsis in order to pick up one of my all-time favorite authors’ books, but I always end up loving her premises anyway.

New Adult & Adult

Wild at Heart (The Simple Wild #2) by K.A. Tucker

Release Date: March 3

I did not expect there to be a sequel to K.A. Tucker’s Wild at Heart, but I was so pleasantly surprised while watching one of Kristin of Super Space Chick’s News & Stuff videos. There aren’t too many details just yet, but it will follow the main characters from The Simple Wild, Calla and Jonah.

The Honey-Don’t List by Christina Lauren

Release Date: March 24

Christina Lauren became one of my go-to authors in 2019. What makes this book even more of a go-to read? It’s about a book tour!!

Beach Read by Emily Henry

Release Date: May 19

I’m excited to continue my new-found love for adult romance with Beach Read. This one sounds super unique, following a romance author and literary fiction writer’s summer together trying to get over their writer’s block.

Undercover Bromance (The Bromance Book Club #2) by Lyssa Kay Adams

Release Date: March 10

The Bromance Book Club was one of my favorite 2019 book reads, and I need the companion sequel, Undercover Bromance, ASAP! I’m really glad we don’t have to wait a year, since The Bromance Book Club just came out in November.

You Deserve Each Other by Sarah Hogle

Release Date: April 7

There a ton of enemies-to-lovers stories, but You Deserve Each Other is instead a lovers-to-enemies story following two fiancés who are doing anything to avoid their lavish wedding- and the nonrefundable bill.

The Heir Affair (Royal We #2) by Jessica Morgan and Heather Cocks

Release Date: June 16

Another unexpected release, but another way I am BEYOND excited about, I know I need to reread The Royal Webefore jumping in The Heir Affair. Live love more royal contemporary in 2020.

Honorable Mentions

Lucky Caller by Emma Mills | Release Date: January 14

How to Build a Heart by Maria Padian | Release Date: January 28

A Castle in the Clouds by Kerstin Gier | Release Date: January 28

Together We Caught Fire by Eva V. Gibson | Release Date: February 4

Running by Natalia Sylvester | Release Date: May 5

Influence by Sara Shepard & Lilia Buckingham | Release Date: June 30

A Cuban Girl’s Guide to Sweaters and Stars by Laura Taylor Namey | Release Date: expected 2020

What contemporary books are you most anticipating in 2020? Any of the above? Any that I didn’t mention? Share in the comments!

Anticipated 2020 Releases: The Contemporary Edition Is it that much of a surprise that this reader and fangirl has an anticipated releases list solely dedicated to contemporary books?

#2020 #2020 Releases #Anticipated releases #Contemporary #Most Anticipated

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jonasmaurer · 5 years

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73 questions

Hey friends! Happy Thursday! Hope you’re enjoying the week.

It’s been a fun and crazy one over here. The girls have had half-day camps, Liv auditioned for dance team, the Pilot has been flying nights, and madre’s birthday was on Tuesday! We got together for a *small* family dinner (we joke that we’re just a small party of 28), and ate Mexican food, cake, and sang “Happy Birthday” to the amazing lady who gives so much to everyone in our family.

My fave picture from the night!

(The cake was from Whole Foods bakery and so so good.)

Workout-wise, I’ve crushed every day this week. Sunday, we filmed Summer Shape Up videos (the party starts June 24)! Monday, I hopped on the Peloton bike for a 30-minute ride, Tuesday was barre, Wednesday was a BODYATTACK class On Demand (my link is good for 21 days FREE of the amazing Les Mills workouts), and today and tomorrow are off since I’m traveling to Chicago for a blog trip. I’m looking forward to catching up with Anne and Julie, and meeting some new blogger friends. I’ll be sure to share some of the adventures on IG stories!

I originally planned to post this one while we were on our cruise, but since internet was a bit sketchy – and I blasted through the ship’s plan in a mere 24 hours – I didn’t get the chance to get this one published. I originally saw this survey on my friend Ashley’s blog, and then Julie’s. I loved reading their answers so much, so I thought I’d join in the survey fun.

1. What’s the best thing that happened to you this month? Taking a Disney Cruise with the fam!

2. What’s your favorite game? We don’t usually play board games at home, but our favorite games is a hide and seek and tag hybrid. I hide, the girls try to find me, I jump out and go “AHHH!” and they scream, I chase them around until I tag them, and then they hide.

3. When are you most inspired? Mid-morning, usually after I’ve had breakfast and survived the school drop-off.

4. If you could teach one subject in school what would it be? Math

5. What’s your favorite beverage? LaCroix

6. What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received? A friend from the gym sent a text message while the Pilot was deployed and basically gave me a pep talk. She said she was proud of me for doing so well with work stuff and solo parenting. It was very unexpected and really made my whole month. It was a great reminder to let other people know when I’m inspired by them or think they’re crushing it.

7. What is your favorite birthday cake? Yellow cake with chocolate buttercream

(That was my bday cake last year!)

8. What is one thing you still have from your childhood? A photo album that my mom made for me when I was 4 and we’d taken a trip to California. I was with all of my aunties, my parents were still married, and my uncle was still alive. Our dog chewed around the edges of it when I was younger, and the small plastic photo album contains quite a few happy memories from being a kid.

9. What is your favorite movie? Love, Actually

10. What is something you can’t do? Play the flute even though I faked it for an entire year in 5th grade. I could do all of the finger work, but no sound would come out. So I just pursed my lips and acted like I knew what I was doing.

11. Window or aisle seat? Aisle so I can get up a thousand times if I feel like it.

12. What makes you laugh no matter what? P makes the most ridiculous faces that make me laugh every day. We get a kick out of zooming in on photos that she’s in, because you never know what you’re going to get.

13. What does creativity mean to you? Free from any perceived restraints or judgments.

14. What are your favorite lyrics of all time? “Look around, look around, how lucky we are to be alive right now.” I don’t think I’ll ever get sick of Hamilton.

Or hanging out with Betsy

15. What is your favorite holiday? Thanksgiving

16. What’s heavily played on your music playlist right now? “Far Too Good” by John Smith.

17. If you could raid one woman’s closet who would it be? My friend Annie’s! Whenever she posts Instagram posts, I want her outfit and her shoes

18. Must have purse item? Color Intense lipstick in at least 3 shades

19. What did you want to be when you grew up when you were 12? On Broadway

20. What is something you will not be doing in ten years? Wondering where the heck we’ll be living in a couple of years. It’s so crazy to be able to know and plan where we want to live.

21. What is an important life lesson for someone to learn? Your gut instinct is always right.

22. How do you start your day? Scrolling through my phone with one eye closed.

23. Would you ever live anywhere besides Tucson? Yes! We’d love to make it back to San Diego one day but love being in Tucson for now.

24. What is your favorite dessert? Anything super chocolaty.

25. Is there a dessert you don’t like? Creme brûlée is gross.

26. It’s brunch! What do you eat? Eggs, breakfast potatoes, turkey sausage, and a mimosa because brunch without cocktails is just a sad breakfast. <— words of wisdom from Prep & Pastry

27. Where was the best vacation you’ve ever taken? Positano

28. Favorite Disney animal? Stitch

29. What is a book you are planning on reading? “Educated” is downloaded on my Kindle but I haven’t started it yet

30. What did you read most recently? “Where the Crawdads Sing” and loooooved it

31. Favorite solo artist? Michael Bublé for life

32. What is something you’re tired of? The Instagram algorithm. They want to turn it into a “pay to play” platform, which was the downfall of Facebook

33. What’s a city you wish to visit? Paris

34. Heels or flats? Wedges

35. Where does one go on a perfect road trip? To Sedona. It’s just an easy drive from us and has an incredible energy.

36. What do you do on a rainy day? Try to find indoor activities to entertain the kiddos! We’ll do art, visit a museum, go rock climbing, or see a movie

37. What’s your favorite exercise? Spin, barre and BODYPUMP are tied

38. What was your worst subject in school? English which is a hilarious thing since I write a blog for a living

39. What is your spirit animal? An otter. I want to spend the day in the pool, floating on my back, eating salad

40. What do you usually eat for breakfast? A giant egg patty and either oatmeal with almond butter or a brown rice tortilla

41. What do you usually eat for dinner? We change it up every night but some classics are salmon, sweet potato and salad, Harney Cobbs, or sushi roll bowls

42. Cooking or Baking? Both!

43. Favorite baked good? Cookie dough on the bottom, Oreo’s in the middle, and brownies on top

44. What is something you wish you could be good at? Organizing photos on my laptop. It’s a hot mess

45. Skiing or Surfing? Paddle boarding

46. First celebrity crush? JTT — Jonathan Taylor Thomas — I became a vegetarian for him when I was 8

47. Most recent celebrity crush? Aaron Tveit. I love his voice!

48. What color was your prom dress? Junior year it was bright pink and senior year it was light purple and silver

49. How do you manage stress? Try to do the most challenging/inconvenient item on my to-do list first

50. What do you do to relax? Read or cook

51. Age when you were first kissed? 12

52. Place you were first kissed? Playing “spin the bottle” after musical theatre class

53. Favorite fashion trend of all time? Low-top sneakers with dresses

54. Best fashion advice you’ve ever received? If you have to convince yourself that you like it, you’ll never wear it, so don’t buy it

55. What is your current favorite piece of clothing that you own? These embellished sandals. I wear them all the time and am constantly asked where I bought them

56. Shoes or Bags? Bags! I love a good crossbody

57. How do you know if you’re in love? When you know, you know

58. Television show you’ve binged on recently? The Bachelorette! We’re almost caught up for the season

59. Who do you turn to when you’re sad? My mom – she always knows exactly what to say to make me feel better

60. Leather or lace? Lace

61. Vintage or new? New

62. What is your Kryptonite? Chocolate or guacamole

63. What are you most enchanted by? Surface level: Moms on social media who have 18 children, homeschool, are all matching in neutral clothing with zero stains, and elaborate mermaid braids in their hair. Deeper: I’m beyond enchanted with Liv and P. They surprise me, make me laugh, and make my heart explode every single day. I often find myself wondering how they’re so darn amazing?

64. What is your biggest strength? Hustle

65. What is your biggest weakness? Stressing over all of the details

66. What are 3 words to describe living in Tucson? Picturesque. Hot. Eccentric.

67. Cutest thing on planet earth? Baby koalas

68. Favorite color? Peach

69. Best first date idea? Something active, like a low-key hike, followed by dinner and drinks

70. Favorite time of day? Late.. probably around 9 or 10pm. I enjoy the quiet and downtime

71. What do you first notice about someone when you meet them? Their smile

72. What’s your guilty pleasure? Take a jar of almond butter, sprinkle chocolate chips into the jar, scoop out with a spoon

73. Favorite band? I wouldn’t say I’m super into bands at the moment and my music taste is all over the place. Back in high school, I was obsessed with Dashboard Confessional

That was a fun one! I always love surveys because it gives me the chance to get to know you all better.

So, tell me friends:

When are you most inspired?

What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received?

What’s one thing you cannot do?

Cutest thing on planet earth?

What do you do to relax?

Or pick any of the questions above and share your answers below!

Have a lovely day.

xoxo

Gina

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elizabethbgrimes · 6 years

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“That Girl” (Becoming the Girl You Always Want to Be)

Day 1-Blog-“That Girl”

Have you ever wanted to be “that girl?”—That girl who has it all “together?”

Or perhaps, have you ever feel like your body is working against you?

You think: “If only I _____” then I’d be happy?

If only I weighed 10 pounds less or more

If only I didn’t have love handles or cellulite

If only I was fitter, stronger, faster, or better

If only I didn’t feel so bloated or constipated all the time

IF ONLY I WAS “THAT GIRL,” THEN EVERYTHING WOULD BE PERFECT!

We all have that nagging thing—I call it our “Achille’s heel” or “dangling carrot.” That thing that holds us back or keeps us striving forward, telling ourselves, “If” or “When” we are “THAT girl” ALL will be well.

I get it…big time.

My Back Story: Wanting to Be “That Girl”

For MOST of my life, I’ve wanted to be “THAT GIRL.”

You know: A mix between Blake Lively, meets Mary Kate & Ashley Olson, meets Carey Underwood, meets “Tone it Up,” meets CrossFit badass, meets ____ —any other beautiful girl that comes to mind.

In fact, for the latter first half of my life, I struggled with a severe eating disorder that left me constantly in pursuit of the ideal: Wanting to be “that girl.” (Check it out here)

It Begins: 9 Years Old

Wanting to be “that girl” all started around the time I was 9-years-old. What began as an “innocent diet,” however, quickly snowballed into a full blown eating disorder, in pursuit of becoming “that girl.”

Although I found recovery (over 15 years later), in the aftermath, I found myself struggling with ANOTHER health battle I NEVER saw coming—and that ironically, STILL, left me striving to be “that girl.”

I call it “Post Recovery Recovery”—what happens to your body AFTER spending MANY YEARS dieting and abusing it.

Post Recovery Recovery

In short: for the past 5-6 years, I’ve still found myself wrestling with my body at times.

Hating on it or telling it, “You’re too thin,” “You’re not pretty enough,” “You’re not healthy enough”…

To say the least, over the past 5-6 years, as my body has continued to heal from more than 20 years of damage (from both my eating disorder and my childhood processed foods diet), I’ve also dealt with my fair share of side effects from those years including:

Metabolic Dysfunction & Insulin Resistance

Autoimmune Diseases

Amenorrhea

Hormone Imbalances (“adrenal fatigue”)

IBS, SIBO (small intestinal bacterial overgrowth), Dysbiosis (gut bacteria imbalances)

Thyroid Problems

Rude and hurtful comments and whispers from others who cut me down because of what I look like

—All of which have left me feeling frustrated with my body and, more than anything, wanting to be “That Girl.”

My Wakeup Call

While it’s not bad to want to look good and feel good, these frustrations with my body continued until the past 6 months when I had a BIG wakeup call that I actually am THAT GIRL, and she’s been inside me all along.

What do I mean?

If you’ve every wanted to be “That Girl,” read on to find out. This one is for you…

That Girl

How “That Girl” Looks

She’s got a defined waist, toned legs, flat abs. Perfect hair, not one out of place, even after the wind blows.

She looks good in jeans and a t-shirt, Lululemon yoga pants or a little black dress—no matter what she’s wearing, she’s always dressed to kill.

At the lake, or at the beach, she can rock any swimsuit she so chooses—be it a frumpy one-piece that she turns into a ‘classy’ Jackie-O style, a sportswear Speedo—donning her femininely buff arms and legs, or a string bikini—who no one else on this planet could wear but her.

She can even make a brown paper sack look good.

How “That Girl” Moves

That Girl moves ever so gracefully in high heel pumps—as if they were Nike tenni-shoes, and any time she enters a room, heads always turns to see that woman who just walked through the door.

She’s fabulous, confident, and completely 100% at peace in her own skin—never a flinch of distaste for herself, but not conceited either.

She just is—she does her thing, nothing seemingly standing in her way.

She’s into CrossFit, Barre, yoga, spin or running—something she totally loves and moves, not out of hate for her body, but out of love—doing things that enliven her and give her energy. And when she’s working, she doesn’t sweat. She glows.

How “That Girl” Eats

She’s totally paleo, or into green juice, or vegan—something that makes her feel connected with nourishing her body and sustainability. She probably doesn’t feel pulled or tugged to or sneak a date with Ben & Jerry’s on her couch late at night.

How “That Girl” Hangs

That Girl has a long line of suitors who would kill to date her, or raise her children. She always has. And she doesn’t settle for anyone or neeeeed a man to define her. Whoever is by her side is special—someone that is able to hang with That Girl and doing big things in this world too—captain of the football team, president of his fraternity, hot musician, soccer stud, CrossFit badass, an investor, a Harvard-educated lawyer, a retired pro baseball player, an entrepreneur—of, now, multi-million dollar companies.

She also has a select handful of really amazing friends—Girls who are doing things in their lives. Growing non-profits, changing lives, starting something great. She moves and grooves with other movers and shakers.

That Girl’s Instagram has thousands upon thousands of likes, whether she posts a picture of her Acai Bowl at her favorite café, the scenery of her awesome vacay to the West Coast, kicking butt in spin class, rocking her bikini laughing with her friends on a Labor Day boat ride, or side-by-side with her fam on a visit home—people love to see what she’s up to.

How “That Girl” Does It All

That Girl has a lot on her plate—just like we all do—and then some, but for some reason, she seems to pull it off without flinching.

“I don’t know how she does it” other says.

She’s a med student, a pediatrician, a finance and accounting double major. She’s going to be the next Erin Andrews on ESPN, or talk show personality on the Today Show. She’s an accomplished blogger, jewelry designer, fashion merchandiser. She has her own business—or is looking into starting her own. She’s an active member of her sorority, or the Junior League; cheer squad or inspiring personal trainer; three kids or super nanny; Honors Society or booming medical or law practice in town; chair of the Booster Club, PTA or chair of the community service organization; a leader in student government or a social do-good non-profit movement.

That Girl doesn’t waste time. You won’t find her spending hours upon hours, sitting on a couch, watching re-runs of the Gilmore Girls, or staying up on her computer until the wee hours of the night Facebook stalking, or look up at the end of the day and think, “What did I do today?”

She’s engaged in living her life—not watching it pass her by.

That Girl totally, fully, completely has it ALL together, and we all, at one time or another, have wanted to be That Girl.

And try as we might…That Girl is always there, in the back of our minds.

How “That Girl” Has ALWAYS Been There (in the Back of Our Minds)

In middle school and high-school That Girl’s accomplishments and accolades looked different—but she still had it all together. And that’s what we wanted too. Come college and her 20-somethings, then on to 30’s and kid rearing, and even in her post-menopausal and golden years, That Girl is the Girl we always want to be—but never can seemingly live up to.

And we can’t help but think: How does she have it all—and have it all together—and I never do? Or, I am not good enough plays on repeat in the back of our minds.

In our efforts to be That Girl we’ve hired personal trainers and committed to 30 day bikini BODY tone ups.

We’ve gone on juice cleanses, tried the paleo diet, sworn off meat, downloaded My Fitness Pal to carefully calculate every calorie we consumed. We’ve restricted, then binged, then purged through exercise, fasting or with our head in a toilet.

We look in the mirror every time we pass by—to check to see if we look any better than the last time we looked. We’ve gone blonde, brunette, ombre—something in between.

We’ve plastered on fake lashes, laid in contraptions with harsh lights to get tan or been sprayed down while standing completely naked in a foreign shower to look more bronzed.

We’ve dragged our butts out of bed to go to the gym and slaved away not at just one cardio kickboxing class, but stayed around for Pump or Core right after to get our double dose of body chiseling.

We’ve run another mile in the name of justifying that muffin we ate for breakfast or that sushi roll we are thinking of eating for lunch. We’ve Google searched until late into the night—looking for the answers to our bloating, stubborn weight gain, metabolism or fast ways to get lean.

All to be That Girl.

How “That Girl” is Not Reality

It’s easy to believe that everyone else is much better than you.

Comparison is the thief of all joy and like a dangling carrot in front of our noses, That Girl is something we’ve constantly chased, but never seemed to catch.

The reality?

You are not alone. Everyone else, just like you, has wanted to be That Girl (and it’s not just something that goes away after middle school).

The reality?

“That Girl” doesn’t really exist—At least she doesn’t exist the way you think she does.

Because That Girl also has a “That Girl” that she wants to be too.

And That Girl really only exists when she first believes that she can actually be That Girl herself—That Girl who glows, has confidence, knows her worth and isn’t worried about being like the next person. That Girl who is present and fully committed to living her own life—not someone else’s. That Girl who realizes all she has (and wants) to be is the best version of herself.

How You Can Be “That Girl”

YOU can be That Girl when you stop striving and comparing.

When you make up your mind to STOP hating so much on yourself…or loathing your weight…or your style (or lack thereof)…or your frumpy hair.

When you stop fingerpointing all of your flaws, and instead, decide to genuinely, truly love yourself as you are—flaws, blemishes, quirks and all.

Just do you and when becoming “THAT GIRL” is made possible.

The post “That Girl” (Becoming the Girl You Always Want to Be) appeared first on Meet Dr. Lauryn.

Source/Repost=> https://drlauryn.com/mindset-body-love/that-girl-becoming-the-girl-you-always-want-to-be/ ** Dr. Lauryn Lax __Nutrition. Therapy. Functional Medicine ** https://drlauryn.com/ “That Girl” (Becoming the Girl You Always Want to Be) via https://drlaurynlax.blogspot.com/

#Elizabeth B. Grimes #ElizabethGrimes #Holistic #Nutrition #Therapy #Recovery #Functional #Medicine

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clarencebfaber · 6 years

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That Girl (Becoming the Girl You Always Want to Be)