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#as i said i really have to learn how to review this type of book
the---hermit · 2 years
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Time Is A Mother by Ocean Vuong
As I think I have mentioned in other posts one of my goals is to get back into poetry. I loved it in high school, but after I stopped studying it I stopped reading any poetry. So I really took my time reading this book, I didn't want to rush it, and I still have to get back into being used to reading poetry. I read a few poems a day when I was in the mood for it, I annotated it, I savoured it. I have yet to learn how to review and discuss poetry collections to be honest. I don't know where to start. The author's writing is absolutely stunning,the imagery is beatiful, and the phrasing is gorgeous. I feel like it would be worth it to read just for that. The themes are varied, but you can always feel how personal they are to the author. Some of my favorutie poems from this collection were: Beautiful Short Loser, The Last Dinosaur, Not Even, Reasons For Staying and Almost Human. These of course are just a few, but I really loved them. I am definitely looking forward to read more poetry, to read more stuff by Ocean Vuong, because it's an absolute pleasure to read his words, and to reread this poetry collection in a few years. I feel like once I get more into reading poetry it will feel differently, and maybe being in a different moment of my life will make me pick on different things. In general I can only say that if you are curious about his work, is surely worth it.
Also I had completly forgot that I added this on thestorygraph as my book for the studyblr w/knives pride reading challenge #own voices prompt. So I should have waited to post my last reading challenge update, but whatever.
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bbanghiitomi · 4 months
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| RRL (reviewing relationship lessons)
synopsis: dating kang haerin feels like waking up on a friday morning, looking forward to what may happen tomorrow (saturday), and tomorrow again (sunday)... then anxious about what may come next, then you're happy again because there's really nothing to be afraid of.
— newjeans!khaerin! × newjeans!fem!reader
(⁠☆⁠▽⁠☆⁠)(⁠☆⁠▽⁠☆⁠)(⁠☆⁠▽⁠☆⁠)(⁠☆⁠▽⁠☆⁠)(⁠☆⁠▽⁠☆⁠)
[posted in relationship advice forum!]
kittygokhrn • online
[my girlfriend...]
> what should i do when my girlfriend is upset and i don't have any idea why?
comments:
guestuser_1253 commented
> why is she upset?
user16277 commented
> tough, skill issue
guestuser_7937 commented
> the best option is to talk to her about it, you will never know why or what to do if you don't ask her.
"man these comments sure are useless..." haerin mutters under her breath as she shifts her gaze behind her laptop, as she sits on the dorm's sofa — she catches a glimpse of you from the kitchen, talking to minji while baking cupcakes and cookies. haerin feels a sense of jealousy, also guilt. she doesn't quite understand why you're so distant today, it's only tuesday and you haven't told her what the problem was, it's already getting inside haerin's head and is making her overthink about what she may have done wrong.
but alas, what the last commenter said was right, she's never going to know unless she asks you, it's not like you're going to telepathically tell her nor are you going to tell her without her asking. this is the worst part of becoming kang haerin, the lack of initiative and not being very confrontational about stuff... no matter how big or small it could be.
well it's hard — very, for someone like haerin confrontation isn't as easy as shutting up and waiting, maybe because waiting hurts less? or at least she can expect the worst and not be surprised, give her some time! she's just learning, and learning means making mistakes and adjusting of course.
it's not just her anymore, it's you and her.
which means anything she does may affect you, well great! no one told her it'll be that way. things just don't happen because of nature, somehow haerin remembers what she once read in a book before: existence precedes essence, it means that one person guides themselves towards their destiny through their choices.
haerin shudders thinking about it, that means whatever happens to her is her fault and only her fault. now, back to you — she remembers how sweet you were yesterday but today seems different, obviously you're still sweet but not as sweet (enough to give someone type 2 diabetes) as you were yesterday and that sucks for haerin because she loved your sweetness.
haerin tries to think back to what she did yesterday that may be possible to get you acting this way, but no matter how scrunches her face, she couldn't think of any reason why you're being so distant. if she continues waiting or not doing anything you may get more upset!
gosh, what did i do for her to act like this?
seriously, she doesn't know. given the fact that you're dating her for only 2 months, of course she's still trying to grasp your emotions, your actions, and your mood... you've been friends with her alright? she likes you, by a lot! the thing is that, haerin was never the type to really make a move when she was still crushing on you, which really meant you did most of the initiatives to get her to do something and she wasn't able to get to know you more aside from what she already knows.
it's embarrassing for her really...
haerin sighs and closes her macbook, she stretches and places the gadget on the wooden table in the living room before standing up and making her way to the kitchen to see you and now danielle as minji had to leave to help hyein with her school work. haerin glides her hand on the countertop, you're busy mixing the ingredients and your furrowed brows were the proof to your effort.
danielle on the other hand is watching over the oven to make sure none of the cookies are burnt.
"hey..." haerin calls out to you, eyes on you while you whisk the eggs. "hmmm?" you simply reply, haerin blinks yet her face has no reaction. she simply leans on the counter, with you being on the other side of the kitchen island and her on the other.
haerin pouts, moving her hand with her index finger sticking out as she reaches for your bracelet, which she made by the way. haerin pulls it gently, just to get your attention and which was of course — successful. you lift your head slightly to get a glimpse of her, with your eyes you see her looking up at you with her cat-like eyes, her contact lenses making her pupils look much more prominent.
you kind of feel the way your heart skips, wasn't part of the plan by the way — you didn't want to ignore haerin but you wanted to make her feel that you were quite disappointed with her dismissive behavior yesterday, when she brushed off min heejin in exchange for peace (an alone time with you). it's not like min heejin was mad or anything — actually, she didn't even mind it but of course, you did and you know haerin didn't even realize that she completely dismissed their ceo for you.
you don't like that! you don't like when people get ignored because of you! you know haerin, giving her a timeout even through being away from her by a small distance is enough to make her feel like something has to be wrong or out of the ordinary.
you know she doesn't like spending a day without talking to you or at least receiving hugs from you... and it's only 2pm!
"why are you ignoring me?" haerin asks, her voice is muffled by her arm that is folded on top of the counter in front of her face. the tone of her voice seems like she really wants you to know that it's bothering her, and correction — you're not even ignoring her, you literally greeted her when she woke up!
"i am not ignoring you haerin." you tell her, you see the way she scrunches her nose but only for a few seconds before she looks down again and back up at you. "in fact, i'm baking for us and i greeted you good morning earlier." you add, leaning close to her — haerin lets go of your bracelet when you shift your hands to place the bowl aside.
you really need her to be more specific about what she wants to know, because you're sure she's wondering if she's done something and all she has to do is ask.
you see danielle placing the newly baked cookies just beside haerin, haerin doesn't even spare any glance at the tray but just follows your traces. danielle leaves the kitchen to answer the telephone call from heejin and now it's just you and haerin.
haerin hums. "did i do something wrong yesterday?" she asks, fully leaning onto the countertop. you sigh as you stand in front of the kitchen island, a few meters away from her.
"it's not wrong, i guess... it's just not proper." haerin pushes herself up when you answer, her eyes widening. "w-what did i do?" she asks, though she tried to exclaim, her voice came out gentle and almost like a whisper. you know she's almost panicking, so you give her a small smile and walk to her side, not forgetting to grab the bag of icing.
"haerin, look — i know you love me but yesterday, i feel like you could've responded a little more attentively to heejin-nim yesterday. she was asking us nicely if we wanted to eat lunch with her, you know us three?" your shoulders slack, then you shrug, giving her a small smile. "you sounded uninterested and although you really wanted to spend the whole time with me — you shouldn't have shrugged her off like that. still, i love you haerin." you squeezed the icing out of the pipe and onto the cupcake.
"sorry... i got a little too carried away." haerin looks at your hands as she reaches to scratch her cheek, feeling her face warming up in embarrassment.
you remain quiet for a few minutes, finishing the icing before you place the bag down and face her, lifting your hand and touching her shoulder, then your fingers press against her neck. "i know... it's okay." you whisper, looking at her face — the way you stare made her flustered, feeling the familiar sound of her heart thumping banging in her ears.
she wants to stare back at you but you're making it hard for her.
baby boss (haerin-g)
[baby boss sent an image]
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chicken nuggets...
chicken...
nuggets...
hi haerin!
you want chicken nuggets?
how many?
20...
chicken nuggets...
oh, okay!
i'm with minji-unnie, we're otw home!
i love you...
y/nnie...
kiss...
lol :P i love you too haerin!!!
(⁠〃゚⁠3゚⁠〃⁠)(⁠´⁠ε⁠`⁠ ⁠)(⁠っ⁠˘⁠з⁠(⁠˘⁠⌣⁠˘⁠ )
HUGS AND KISSES!!!!
"bleh, you and your weird girlfriend." minji fakes disgust as she closes her eyes and turns her head away from you. "why are you spying on our conversation?" you ask, raising a brow at her, turning your phone sideways where she can't see the screen. "you have your screen brightness as bright as the sun on a sunday morning, probably that's why anyone within the distance of 50 meters would be able to read your messages." minji answers, still has her eyes shut as if she's got someone throwing acid at her eyes.
"okay... you didn't have to go off like that by the way — hey manager-nim! let's get 20 chicken nuggets for haerin!" you raise your hand, your manager looks at you and minji through the rear mirror and nods. "okay! there's a mcdonald's drive thru nearby." they answer before looking back at the road. minji finally opens her eyes and looks at you. "why does she want 20 chicken nuggets?" she asks, leaning on the seat.
today, you had a schedule for a magazine cover photoshoot with minji and although it was such a fun experience to have with your oldest member — it sure is tiring, this is why you never forget to thank the staff around after the schedule as they make the job a whole lot easier for you.
"because she wants some. why is it even a question?" you look up and then to minji — minji laughs and shakes her head. "oh nothing, just didn't expect her to have a borderline addiction to chicken nuggets. like — 20? guess she really did want to impress you before." minji shrugs, eyes shifting to the window and following the buildings with her eyes.
"i do think chicken nuggets are great — i'm happy to share that sentiment with her." you giggle, feeling your heart jump in joy — sometimes minji feels like if you were an inside out character, you'd probably only have like at least 5 joys, 5 angers, 5 fears, 5 disgust and 5 sadness — you express emotions 5 times more intensely than haerin.
imagine how crazy that is?
minji laughs when she imagines haerin having like 1/2 joy, maybe 1 anger, 1 disgust, 1/2 fear and 1/2 sadness and thinking about it more made her burst out laughing so hard.
"what is wrong with you?" you ask minji, watching her clutch her stomach in laughter. "oh my god... nothing — you and haerin are so perfect together!" minji dramatically wipes a tear off of her eye as she speak.
"you're just jealous and bitter." you scoff playfully, minji shrugs and lets out one last snicker. "you and hanni always say that." she shakes her head.
baby boss (haerin-g)
[boss baby sent an image]
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hey this is us in another universe
;)))) how do u feel about that girl?
flattered actually,
spending my life with u again even in another universe is a dream
:'(((
i'm supposed to be flirting with you
and you're also supposed to be interacting with other celebrities there
but i don't mind talking to you
(⁠ ⁠◜⁠‿⁠◝⁠ ⁠)⁠♡(⁠ ⁠◜⁠‿⁠◝⁠ ⁠)⁠♡(⁠ ⁠◜⁠‿⁠◝⁠ ⁠)⁠♡
pshhh... i feel lonely here
i don't see why i, a 17 yrs old girl should be talking to adults
i don't know why i'm here anyway
'cause it's ur job
don't worry!! it's only for today, after that we can cuddle!
doesn't that excite you???
yeah, it does excite me
great!!!
i'm excited to go home now...
great...
so, ur just gonna stand in a corner? tapping your phone?
better than talking to strangers,
i miss you so bad.
:(((
i miss u too bb
so... what do u want to talk about?
anything actually, just ask me a question
good, would u love me if i was cursed by an evil witch and became a horse?
why a horse out of all animals?
i think you would be a frog, the small kind of frog.
and you'd be slimy because the witch knows you hate being slimy.
well it sounds like you won't love me
i would!!! if you were a slimy frog, i'd keep you in a large tank with the perfect ecosystem for you to thrive.
and i'll watch you every day.
i said a horse.
but i want you to be a frog,
what if i was the evil witch?
what..?
oh, heejin-nim is asking me to stop messaging you for a while lols
that sucks, should i bring my phone down?
you should! event's about to be over. hang on a bit!
"you smell so nice..." you whisper, head buried on haerin's back — she lays on her side, offering her back for you to lean on. "uh huh, thought you'd like me more if i smell like a watermelon." haerin snickers, a proud smirk written on her face as she feels you smothering her behind, rubbing your cheeks on her clothed back, arms wrapped around her waist. "you really do smell like a watermelon, i love it so much." you mutter, voice muffled by her tshirt that's been sprayed by a perfume resembling the scent of a fresh watermelon.
haerin had just gotten home from her trip out of the country and though she was tired, she couldn't help but give you the satisfaction to get a whiff of her watermelon scent that she bought from a store in her trip, thinking of you while on her way to pay for it.
"cool, if only hyein wouldn't take a bite out of me, i would be willing to smell like a watermelon everyday." haerin declares.
[posted in relationship advice forum!]
kittygokhrn • online
[gift ideas]
> i'm planning to surprise my girlfriend with a gift, what's something that's really romantic but simple?
comments:
usergo728294 commented
> a heartfelt message
guestuser77867 commented
> maybe some kisses and hugs??
guestuser_5667 commented
> a really cute ring!
"ah, thanks manager! me and haerin are off to get something, we'll be alright don't worry!" you link your arms with haerin's as you pull her to the exit of the building, you look at her and see her sharp eyes even with a cap on her head. you smile and tilt your head, beaming at her direction — her eyes relax at the sight of your face, it brings a smile on her lips even if it is covered with a mask.
"won't they go looking for us?" haerin whispers, both of you make your way to a sidewalk — it's only 5pm and after practice have just finished, you decide that it would be a good idea to hang out with her for even just a short amount of time — even just walking around the park and looking at anything, it's enough time to keep your head from going insane with the amount of burden work has left you.
you intertwine your fingers with hers, swaying both your hands together as you two walk in a moderately occupied street. although you'd like it better if it was just you and her, you can't help but at least feel a little more like an ordinary human loving someone with all these people around — it made you feel less of a robot, and it feels like you're just like everyone else.
"they probably will but, we'll be alright, right? i'm with you and you're with me, i don't have anything to be scared of." you say, moving closer to her — closing the gap between you and her figure. haerin looks away for only a bit, her eyes even as they were covered with the cap — looks like there were glimmering stars inside of them. "right, i'll make sure no one bothers us." haerin puffs her chest proudly, trying to seem big and mighty but all you can see is a cat — like a cat that stands on its two paws with it's two other paws raised.
"uh huh, bet no one will bother us if you hiss at them." you laugh, feeling the way your cheeks warm up at the sensation of her hand. "they won't." she says.
your eyes spots a small vendor selling beunggo-ppang — you pull down you mask and you look at haerin with a grin on your face. "let's get some snacks!" haerin tries to balance herself when you start pulling her to the vendor, approaching the stall with a bright smile. you buy two of the snack and reach out to give the other one to her.
"we have so much on our plate right now, so many events — photoshoots, filming... sometimes i wish we could get a long vacation or something." you start to talk once again when haerin takes your hand again and holds it tight, she looks at you as you speak, holding her snack in the other hand of hers. you look forward, seeing the sunset peeking behind the tall buildings as the light illuminates on your face.
haerin looks down on the snack on her hand, analyzes the warm fish-like bread, and sees the way the smoke wafts around. she then turns her head to look at you and feels the way her stomach twists, the way her heart thumps and her cheeks feel warmer than usual.
"i do too. if we get the chance to go spend a day even for only one day, where no one can recognize us. where would it be?" haerin asks, eyes looking for your eyes — she sees the sunset reflecting on your pupils. you stop walking and you stand near a playground at a park, it's empty with every kid and their guardians making their way home.
"me?" you point your index finger to yourself. haerin nods and underneath a mask is a smile on her lips.
"yes you."
"huh... if we had a chance to go somewhere without being recognized... i think i would want to go to an arcade." you answer before taking the last bite out of your beungo-ppang, haerin tilts her head as she looks at you, wondering what made you choose an arcade as your answer. "why an arcade?"
"i mean why not?" you shrug.
"i expected you'll answer like a theme park or a beach." haerin says. you laugh and nod.
you look at the dark sky, turning dark blue then to haerin's eyes. "well, both are nice too but whenever i think of theme parks and beaches, i prefer being with you guys. and if it were just the two of us, i wanted to be in a place like a local arcade — you know like, the two of us and maybe some other people who don't know us. and we'll feel like an ordinary couple doing couple stuff!" haerin nods.
"then it would feel less suffocating and scary, then we won't have to worry about what we don't know, what we expect and what may happen." you add, you take off your mask to fully show the smile on your face. haerin feels her heart clench, something not out of sadness — maybe, a bit because she wishes she could actually have you without being scared of a lot of things then again, she has you and you have her, what's there to be afraid of?
she's so happy that you feel that way about her, that you're as desperate as she is and as eager to do stuff together and cherish each other's presence. it makes her feel special, like haerin other than being an idol has something to be proud of. "i wish we can stop cosplaying and playing pretend to be highschool students in a mysterious world. but i really don't regret being an idol, besides having all these people who care about me i also met you." you tell her, haerin has completely forgotten about her snack — hand reaching out to hold you.
"y/n!" you get surprised with her outburst, she furrows her brows before the untouched snack on her hand falls on the ground and she starts looking for something in her pockets. "haerin..?" you mutter.
"here..! look, i have this ring for you." you watch as she shows a golden ring with a diamond ring — something she saw when she was doing her advertisement for dior. "—! is... that a ring? i know it is but, what for?" you ask, taken back.
"for you. because i love you! and i wanted to give this to you, i don't know why but i really really — really want you to have it." she rambles, you look at it and sees the way the diamond glimmers. "you think i deserve it?" you ask again, feeling hot tears well on the corner of your eyes.
"you do. seriously, that's why i got it because i couldn't help but think of you when i was looking at it." she explains, grabbing your other hand and slipping it on your ring finger.
"how did you know it fits?" you ask, looking at the ring on your finger, mesmerized by the way it shines.
"i... kind of just felt your fingers and went with my intuition." she laughs and shrugs, the way her eyes bend make you weak.
"i love it! it's so beautiful." you giggle, ecstatic.
"yeah i know, that's why i got it for you." haerin pulls her mask down and pulls you in a tight hug, you feel your heart jump and you let her be as she wraps her arms around you. "hey..." you mutter.
"i love you." haerin mutters, burying her face on your shoulder, sobbing. you place your hand on her waist, looking at her. "i love you too." you whisper, giggling in happiness.
[posted in relationship advice forum!]
kittygokhrn • online
[my girlfriend is sad]
> what to do if my gf is sad?
posted 18 hours ago...
your eyes scan the monitor of haerin's macbook, seeing the words from a website haerin have recently visited — she's asking a forum website, consulting strangers for help with you and her relationship. yesterday, after a schedule that lasted almost a whole day — you came home with the group and stayed inside your room, unmoving the whole time. maybe it's the neverending work, the lack of sleep, and the amount of coffee you took but you were feeling so sad.
you were lying on your side on the bad, sad and alone, haerin peeked to see you and felt compelled whether she should lay next to you or leave you be.
haerin entered your room, not forgetting to knock but you were so lost in your thoughts you have completely ignored her. she stood beside the bed, looking at your frame trying to decipher what may be the reason behind your sadness but have come to a conclusion that she may not know why.
the truth is that, you are also clueless to what is the reason why — you don't understand why you felt like this and don't understand why you can't understand.
you're just sad and tired.
haerin sat next to you in the bed, but kept her hands to herself. you still have your back facing her that time, it's not like you were ignoring her but you just didn't have the energy to turn around and talk nor even say anything about it.
haerin wanted to ask but she's contemplating if you would want to talk about it because she understood that there are times where people are just sad for no reason, it happens to her when she's feeling like a burnout.
it still bothered her, she really wanted to make you feel better but at the same time, she didn't want you to think or worry that once you tell her what you felt, you would think haerin sees herself as the problem.
after a while, she decided to leave your room and found herself in the dorm's living room, her macbook on the coffee table by the sofa. she sat on the sofa and started typing on her keyboard, that's where she found herself asking for help on the website and after waiting and more waiting, and some thinking — haerin fell asleep on the couch.
today, as soon as you wake up, you find her lying on the sofa, in a deep slumber.
you smile at the sight and crouch to the level of the sofa to take a good look at haerin, sees the way her eyes flutter and the way her chest rises. you get the urge to pinch her cheeks but resort to poking her cheek.
"love you haerin." you whisper before leaning in to kiss her temple and standing up to close her macbook before leaving to cook breakfast in the kitchen with the other girls.
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punkshort · 3 months
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look what we've become - ch.6
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Chapter Summary: You arrive at Ellie's family's house, but it's not what you expected.
Chapter Warnings: language, mentions of child abuse (not SA), mentions of slavery, angst
WC: 6.3K
Series Masterlist | Previous Chapter | Next Chapter
Ellie was quiet the next morning, picking slowly at her granola bar and bent over, staring at her book. It was the day you expected to arrive at her aunt and uncle's house, and you had a hunch she was feeling bittersweet about it. When you woke up, you had a pit in your stomach that you assumed had something to the conversation you had with Joel the night before, but as the morning wore on, you realized there was a different reason. You weren't ready to let Ellie go.
"Hey," you said, nudging her knee so she would look up. "You excited to see your family?"
"I guess," she said with a shrug. Joel appeared to only be half listening as he nursed his coffee across from you.
"I'm sure they'll be happy to see you," you replied. "They probably don't even know you're alive. You said you were taken from their house, right?"
"Yeah," she said with a nod. "After my parents died, they took me in. I can't really remember much, but I know it was nighttime and I had a bag over my head, but I don't remember them breaking into the house, I must've been asleep."
"And it was the Fireflies who took you?" you asked.
"I'm not sure. It wasn't Marlene's group, if it was. There was more of us, they kept us all in this gross basement or something. No one could tell where we were, and whenever they moved us, they had the bags over our heads."
"Jesus," Joel muttered to himself with a shake of his head.
"How do you know it wasn't Marlene?" you asked gently, curious to learn more, but worried about upsetting her.
"Because after a few months, they took me and a couple others to Marlene's camp. She never made us wear the bags," Ellie explained.
"They hurt you?" Joel asked. His eyebrows were pinched as if he were bracing himself.
"A little," she admitted quietly. Your gaze dropped down to your hands, trying not to show her the emotion on your face. "They'd hit us if we weren't working fast enough, or trip us just for fun, I guess."
"I'm so sorry, Ellie," you whispered, reaching out a hand to place on her knee.
You exchanged a pained look with Joel before dropping the subject. At least she was going back home. She might not be excited yet, but you were willing to bet she would be once she saw her family again.
"We're doing the right thing," you murmured to him when you were out of earshot as Ellie packed up her belongings. "I know you weren't on board with this at first, but we're giving her a chance at a decent life."
"Second we get back I'm tellin' Tommy we are cuttin' all ties with these people," he said through gritted teeth. "I don't care what they got to offer."
You nodded, feeling the anger rolling off of him as he aggressively folded up his sleeping bag. You grabbed your pack and kicked dirt over what little fire remained, snuffing out the embers before reviewing the map once more.
Thankfully, her family didn't live within the city itself. Cities were heavily populated, which meant more risk of infected, soldiers, or hostile people. You tended to avoid them at all costs. They lived in a small town outside of the city called Morristown, which didn't have much outside of a post office, a school, and a fire department. The residential homes were built far apart from each other, scattered and disorganized. You got the feeling that people who used to live in this town knew everyone's business, it was so tiny. And you also had the feeling these were the types of people that shot first and asked questions later, given the extent it appeared they went for privacy.
"That's my school!" Ellie said excitedly, pointing down the street. Joel was focused on the map, trying to find the way to Spirit Drive, but you twisted your head so you could see the building she pointed out in the distance.
"That's cool, Ellie," you said warmly, happy to see she finally had a small smile on her face. "What was your favorite subject?"
She went on to tell you about her art class and a teacher she adored, and all the while you stared at her, listening to her stories while your heart ached. You imagined her in that school, with her friends, playing sports, eating lunch, and something inside you burned. It almost felt like jealousy, but that didn't make sense. It was a feeling you couldn't put your finger on, but you thought you knew what it was when you turned down her street, swallowing the lump in your throat when the realization set in that you were minutes away from never seeing her again.
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"This the place?" Joel asked Ellie, squinting his eyes between her and the map. The house didn't look like much. It was a small, brick ranch with a long, gravel driveway that led up to a dilapidated grey barn. The hinges on the storm door to the front house were originally black, but now orange with rust. White paint chipped from the door in long strips, and the front garden was long abandoned and overgrown.
"Yeah," she said, looking at the barn.
"Do you think they're still here?" you asked, a flicker of hope igniting in you. Maybe if they weren't here, you could convince Joel to take her back to Jackson.
"Oh, yeah. They're here," she said confidently. You both glanced down at her.
"How're you so sure?" Joel asked, and she tilted her chin up towards the corner of the house. You both followed her gaze, noticing the cameras for the first time. They were small, it was no wonder you missed them, but they were there and definitely working. You could see a little red light flashing in the lens when the camera swooped across the lawn and over the driveway, where you all stood.
Joel slowly flicked his eyes around the house, counting at least seven cameras that he could see from his position. Then his gaze traveled to the barn, where he thought he could make out at least five more.
"How in the hell did you get taken from this place with all these cameras?" he asked. She didn't reply, and he wasn't really expecting an answer.
"So, what do we do?" you asked Joel quietly. "Do we just go up and knock?"
Joel twisted around to glance at Ellie, but she wasn't paying attention. She fidgeted her fingers inside her long sleeves as she stared out across the wide open dusty, dirty land the house was built on.
"I'll go up and knock, you two stay back," he decided, wiping the sweat from the back of his neck before venturing further down the driveway. The sun was blazing, even more so in the desert with little to no shade. You couldn't imagine how uncomfortable Ellie must have been in her long sleeves.
"That's far enough!" a man's voice rang out. Joel stopped dead in his tracks, whipping his head around to try to locate the source. Then he saw movement. An older man with a scraggly grey beard and balding head emerged from the barn, aiming a rifle right at Joel. He held his hands up in the air, showing from a distance that he meant no harm.
"Is that your uncle?" you whispered, holding your hands up as well.
"Yeah, that's Uncle Dave," she said, but she seemed unbothered by the threat. In fact, she shoved her hands in her pockets as she waited for him to approach.
"We aren't lookin' for trouble," Joel called out as Dave slowly made his way closer, his eyes transfixed on Joel. "We're here-"
"Toss your weapons on the ground!" Dave ordered, readjusting his grip on his rifle.
"Okay," Joel said, nodding, and slowly reached around to pluck the handgun from the back of his pants with two fingers. He held it up and gently tossed it on the ground in front of him.
"You too, missy," Dave said without even looking at you. You followed suit, slowly removing your gun and tossing it on the ground at your side. When you were no longer armed, Dave relaxed a bit, letting his shoulder drop but still aiming the rifle at Joel's chest. He finally allowed his gaze to drift behind Joel, looking briefly at you before his eyes landed on Ellie. He hesitated and swallowed roughly before forcing out a harsh chuckle.
"Well, I'll be damned," he said, a slow smirk spreading across his face. "Junebug! Get out here, you ain't never gonna believe this!"
A rounder woman with glasses and tight curly blonde hair emerged from the barn behind Dave, a scowl painting her features as she walked forward, aiming a revolver at Joel. When she looked over and noticed Ellie, her expression changed. Her eyebrows shot up in surprise and she let her gun fall to her side.
"Ellie!" the woman cried out, trotting clumsily down the driveway towards you. You looked down at Ellie, expecting her to finally show some excitement, but she only offered them a pained smile.
"Hiya, Aunt June," Ellie said before being enveloped in a huge bear hug.
"Oh, my sweet girl! I thought I would never see you again," June said with tears in her eyes. Dave watched the two reunite from his position in front of Joel, the rifle now slung over his shoulder.
Ellie stepped back and introduced you and Joel to her family. She explained you were helping her and keeping her safe, and the two adults began to warm up to you after that.
"Please, why don't you stay the night?" June offered. "We'll make you dinner and give you a warm bed, it's the least we could do." Ellie turned to you and nodded, a genuine smile finally spreading across her face.
You felt Joel hesitate next to you, but you quickly accepted her offer, not ready to leave Ellie just yet. He gave you a sideways glance before giving June and Dave a tight smile and followed them into the house, only after picking up your weapons from the ground.
The inside of the house matched the outside. It was well lived in and dated, but it was clean. You glanced around the living room, noticing there didn't seem to be any family pictures around, just landscape art and a clock on the wall.
June gave you a brief tour of the small house and showed you their spare bedroom, where you and Joel left your backpacks.
"Why don't you help me in the kitchen, dear, and leave the men to their own devices," June said, her pink cheeks pinching into a smile. You looked at Joel, trying to read his expression. He gave you a quick nod, confirming he was comfortable with being separated, and you returned her smile.
"That sounds great," you told her.
Dave led Joel down into the basement, explaining along the way that he would be 'blown away' by his set up down there. Ellie had mentioned they were preppers, and based on the cameras, you had to assume the basement was remodeled to be a safe room or a bunker.
You helped June chop up vegetables while she kneaded dough to make chicken pot pie. Your mouth watered at the prospect of a home cooked meal.
"We've been traveling for over a week, eating mostly trail mix and rabbit. This will be wonderful, thank you so much," you told her.
"Of course, dear. It's no trouble at all. Ellie!" June called out. Ellie came around the corner, her sketch pad hanging limply at her side.
"C'mon, girl, you forget how to help out around here?" June asked, her brows furrowed for a moment before she realized how harsh she sounded. She turned to you and laughed, her features relaxed again. "Kids, you know?"
You smiled and looked back at Ellie to gauge her reaction. She seemed quiet and closed off, but you brushed it off, chalking it up to the long day.
June held out a butcher knife to her, and Ellie hesitated, her eyes flicking from her aunt to the knife.
"Auntie, please don't make me," she said, eyes wide.
"You know the rules, don't tell me you forgot now," she replied lowly. Ellie reached out a shaky hand to pick up the knife.
"What is this?" you asked, putting your hand out to stop her.
"Well, we need chicken for the chicken pot pie, don't we now?" June said sweetly, and you were beginning to feel like that ruddy smile of hers was a little fake.
"I'll do it," you said, stepping in front of Ellie, hand outstretched for the knife.
"Now, I appreciate the offer, dear, but Ellie understands it's part of her chores, right?" she said, narrowing her eyes at Ellie. She nodded slowly, her gaze drifting to the floor.
"She can chop the vegetables and I'll take care of the chicken," you told her, your tone becoming more insistent.
June's watery eyes wavered between you and Ellie as she weighed her options. You glanced down at the butcher knife in her red, flour covered hands, then looked back at her.
"I insist," you said darkly, dropping the fake pleasantries. June's gaze dragged up to remain locked on you.
"Girl's gotta learn to be comfortable with killing," she replied, but you reached out and snatched the knife from her grip before she had a chance to blink.
"That's alright, I could use some practice, myself," you told her, refusing to break eye contact.
The tension in the room was thick, even Ellie was shifting her weight, trying to make herself as small as possible. You waited for June to try to argue with you again or say something to Ellie that didn't sit right, but it never came. As if storm clouds passed, her eyes cleared up and she blinked at you, a smile spreading across her flushed cheeks.
"Well, then," she said, dusting her hands on her apron. "Coop's out back. Suppose we should thank our guest, right Ellie?" June said, raising an eyebrow at the girl. Ellie nodded and looked up at you.
"Thank you," she said quietly.
"No problem, kid," you muttered, giving June one last glance before heading out the back door.
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"This here's an AK-47, got maybe six of these fuckers," Dave said, his fingertips grazing the weapon on the wall as he passed. "Just about anything you can think of, I probably got two of 'em."
For someone who hoarded weapons in an underground bunker, Joel would have thought the man would be a little more subtle. A little less eager to show a complete stranger his entire stash. But then again, men like Dave loved to show off. If they couldn't boast about it, then what was the point?
"Real nice set up you got here," Joel murmured, knowing the man was waiting for a compliment. Dave's chest puffed with pride before he opened a sliding door in the back of the basement, revealing a small room filled with different sized monitors, cameras all cycling through the different angles he had covering his property. Joel was wrong: he had way more than just the cameras he saw. They rotated to different views all around the outside of the house. He noticed the only cameras that were monitoring indoors were in the barn where he saw an old John Deere tractor and a pickup truck flash on the screen.
"Jesus," Joel whispered, taking a step forward, but still not entering the small room. "How the hell you manage to watch these all the time?"
"Ah," Dave said proudly, tapping his finger against his temple. "I got motion alerts. Sends out an alarm when I'm sleeping or taking a shit or whatever. Gets annoying, though. Mostly just birds or other animals, so I turn it off during the day. But sometimes... sometimes I get something good."
"Like us?" Joel said, and Dave laughed.
"Yeah... yep, exactly like you," he replied, trailing off as he stared at Joel.
"Y'know," Dave said after a moment, stepping back to shut the door. "There's folks around here who pay good money for things, if you're ever in the market to buy or sell."
"We don't got much, but we're doin' just fine," Joel said, beginning to feel uneasy.
"Nah, see, that's where you're wrong, friend," Dave replied, pouring two glasses of whiskey and handing one to Joel. "You do got somethin'."
Joel held the glass tightly, bringing it up to his lips and pretending to take a sip before setting it down. Something told him he should keep his wits about him. He raised his eyebrows at Dave, waiting for him to continue.
"That girl with you up there," he began, and Joel felt his stomach twist at the mention of you. "She would fetch you a fair price with the folks I know."
Joel froze, doing his damndest to not let his emotions show. The pieces were starting to click. He clenched his jaw and swallowed lightly before taking a deep breath.
"That right?" he replied, urging him to continue. He needed to get back upstairs, for the first time realizing you all might be in danger.
"Hell yeah. Medicine, food, weapons. I'm sure of it," he said with a click of his tongue. "I make one radio call and they could be here in two days."
"Hm," Joel replied, clenching his fists behind his back. "Lemme think on it, yeah?"
"Sure, sure," he said with a wave. "Don't think too long, though. One day, someone'll take her. It's just a matter of if you get to benefit from it or not, you get me?"
Jesus fucking Christ.
"Yeah," Joel said. "I get you."
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Joel decided you weren't leaving his sight. He was relieved when June called down, letting them know dinner was ready, so he could make sure you were okay without making an excuse to leave and raise suspicion. A man like Dave with a whole arsenal at his disposal wasn't someone he wanted to tangle with. He had to be careful.
A cynical part of him wondered if he should be worried about the food, but he knew you helped prepare it. You were smart, you would have noticed if something was going on.
But when he climbed the stairs and locked eyes with you, he knew something was wrong. You didn't show it, but he could tell by the way your smile didn't reach your eyes.
He settled down at the table as you and June scooped out the meal on everyone's your plates while Ellie silently brought everyone glasses of water. When she set Joel's down, he tried to catch her eye, but she wouldn't look at him.
"Ellie, why don't you get Joel 'n me whiskies. You ladies want anything stronger?" Dave asked, tucking his napkin into his shirt. You shook your head and politely declined as you took your seat next to Joel, your knee purposely knocking against his under the table. He glanced at you, your lips pressed in a thin line as you looked down at your food, not wanting to raise suspicion but desperately wanting to warn him that these people seemed off.
"You know, I've been meaning to try that margarita mix we traded for last week," June said thoughtfully. "Ellie, let me show you how to make it." June waddled out of the kitchen and into the living room, behind Ellie. You heard their voices carrying over faintly as June instructed her how to make her drink.
"This looks great, honey. What's in it?" Joel asked, turning and giving you a pointed look. Honey. He never called you that. It got your attention, and you gave him a quick, curious look before you understood his underlying question. Is this safe to eat? Your gaze drifted back to Dave, who was watching the two of you talk.
"Just normal stuff," you told him. "Nothing special. Veggies, chicken."
His eyes bored into yours, trying to communicate silently with you. You figured it out. Something happened in the basement that worried him, the same way June's behavior worried you.
"Alright, let's dig in!" June said cheerily, entering the kitchen with a yellow drink in her hand. Ellie followed dutifully behind with two glasses of whiskey, placing them in front of the men before sitting across from you.
"This is great, Junebug," Dave told his wife after a few forkfuls. June smiled as she sipped from her glass. You and Joel choked down the meal, offering your compliments and thanks once again, while Ellie silently pushed her food around her plate.
"Not a whiskey man, Joel?" Dave asked, his eyes growing glassy from the drink he had in the basement and now his second one.
"It's just been a long journey," Joel explained, but took a small sip anyway. "Feelin' real tired, is all."
Ellie glanced up and looked at Joel, knowing full well he wasn't tired. In the short time she knew him, it was like pulling teeth to admit he was tired. She looked back and forth between him and you, trying to read your faces without being obvious.
"Quit playing with your food," June told her harshly, finishing up her margarita. "You should be so lucky to have a roof over your head and food in your belly."
Joel stiffened next to you but didn't look up from his plate, his mind racing, trying to formulate a plan.
"You know what? That drink looked good," you said suddenly. "Ellie, why don't you show me if you remember how to make it?" You stood up from the table and Ellie jumped to her feet to follow you.
"Bring me another, too," June barked as Ellie followed you around the corner to the bar cart in the living room.
"What the hell is going on here, Ellie?" you muttered quietly, picking up the margarita mixer and pouring it into a glass.
"It's how they always are," she whispered. "They aren't exactly good with kids, but it's fine."
"No, it's not fine," you whispered back, holding your hand out to keep her from pouring tequila in your glass, choosing to just drink the mixer, not wanting alcohol to dull your senses. You nudged her hand to make her pour a little extra tequila in her aunt's glass. "This isn't how you should be living."
"Well, I don't have much of a choice, do I?" she asked sharply before turning on her heel and heading back into the kitchen. You trailed after her, finding your seat next to Joel and taking a sip of the fake drink and trying to ignore the guilt. You had no idea how you were going to be able to leave her behind with these people.
You helped June clean up the dishes after dinner while the men filed into the living room. Joel had drank his first glass, but held up his hand when Dave offered a second, rubbing his eyes and reminding him how tired he felt. He needed to get you alone and get you the hell out of here, paranoid that Dave would call those people to do a "trade" for you like he was already suspecting happened originally with Ellie. What else would explain kidnappers being able to bypass his security system?
As if reading his mind, Dave asked "Think any more about what I told you downstairs?"
Joel yawned, trying to hide his anger by contorting his face.
"Lemme sleep on it, get back to you in the mornin', I'm beat," he said, hoping he wasn't laying it on too thick. If he was, Dave didn't seem to notice, the whiskey doing its job by keeping him oblivious.
"Alright now, Ellie. Time to get ready for bed," June said, her drink sloshing in her glass. "Say goodbye and thank you to your friends."
You could see the despair in Ellie's face. Trying hard not to cry, you wrapped her in a hug and whispered it will be okay in her ear before pulling back, swallowing hard. She was about to reach for her sketch pad when, much to your surprise, Joel suddenly leaned down and pulled her into a hug. Ellie also looked shocked, not sure what to do at first but eventually brought her arms up around his ribs. You thought you could see him whisper something in her ear, but it happened so fast, you weren't sure.
"Okay, off you go," June told her, and Ellie quickly walked down the hall without another word. You watched her go, tears threatening to spill down your cheeks.
You sat next to Joel, trying to appear interested in what her aunt and uncle were talking about, but you realized it didn't matter the more they drank. Joel's hand dropped on the couch next to you, grasping your hand and stroking his thumb over your knuckles. You looked up at him sadly as he tried to wordlessly say it's okay, I'll get us out of this.
After another hour, Dave stood to tend to the fire, stumbling in the process. June chuckled, her face redder than usual.
"Time for bed, old man," she teased, and he grunted in response, pushing a log around with the poker before straightening back up.
"Suppose you're right, Junebug," he replied. You could hear the alcohol in his voice, the way he spoke slightly louder and slower than usual.
"You two need anything, you just holler," June said, pushing herself off the couch. "Clean sheets are in the closet."
You and Joel stood, watching as they made their way slowly down the hall to their bedroom, June mumbling to Dave until their door quietly clicked shut.
You immediately swiveled around to Joel but he clamped a hand over your mouth, shaking his head. You nodded and he removed his hand, leading you down the other end of the hall to the guest room, and shut the door.
"Joel-"
He held his finger to his lips before he made his way around the room, checking the furniture and closet for any possible hidden cameras or bugs. When he was satisfied, he finally spoke.
"Don't get comfortable. When they fall asleep, we're leavin'," he whispered.
"We can't leave her here," you said, sweeping your arm towards the door.
"I know," he said, and you breathed a sigh of relief. "They'll sell her off again the first chance they get."
"Wait, what?" you asked, eyes wide. "I thought someone snatched her?"
"I really fuckin' doubt it," Joel said, running his fingers through his hair. "When we were in the basement, that asshole was tryin' to convince me to sell you to slavers. Said if I don't do it, somebody'll take and sell you anyway. Sounded awful lot like a threat, if you ask me."
"Jesus Christ, Joel!" you whispered, wrapping your arms around your ribs and pacing nervously around the room. "So you think they sold Ellie into slavery? Their own niece?"
"Wouldn't put it past 'em. You should see the shit he's got in that basement. Must've cost a fortune. I'm sure Ellie wasn't the only one they sold off."
It started to make sense. The way June spoke to and treated Ellie like she was a servant didn't leave you feeling warm and fuzzy.
"But they seemed so happy to see her," you said, thinking back.
"Yeah, probably saw her as another paycheck. Two for one," Joel said with a scoff.
"So what's the plan?" you asked him, biting on your fingernail anxiously.
"Give it an hour or so," he began, sitting down on the bed. "Make sure they're passed out. Then, you go get the kid, and I'll go to the basement. I gotta figure out how to turn off the motion alerts on those cameras so they don't wake up. Then we get the fuck outta here."
"Okay," you said quietly, sitting down next to him, stunned. Twenty minutes ago, you just thought they were bad guardians. You had no idea it was this bad. You buried your face in your hands, feeling guilty for bringing Ellie back into this house. You should have fought harder to get her to stay in Jackson. Now, you all ended up in danger, anyway.
"We have to try to warn Tommy and Maria," you whispered. "What if something happens? It'll take us a week to get home."
"Maybe not," Joel replied. "I saw on his cameras that they got a truck in that barn."
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Joel stuck his head out into the hallway, craning his neck to listen for any movement from the master bedroom. After a few minutes of silence, he looked back at you and nodded. Quietly, you followed him down the hall, pausing outside of Ellie's room. Before you could open the door, Joel put his hand over yours. He cupped your face and quickly pressed a kiss against your lips, then pulled back to look deep into your eyes while his thumb caressed your cheek.
I'll get us out of here, I'll keep us safe.
You nodded, understanding without him having to say a word. He dropped his hand and made his way down the hall to the basement door, clicking on his flashlight before descending the stairs.
Taking a deep breath, you slowly pushed the bedroom door open. You took care to close it gently behind you, then turned around to find Ellie fully dressed and waiting for you at the foot of her bed.
"Hey," you whispered, and she stood up, slinging her backpack over her shoulder.
"I'm ready," she whispered back.
"How did you-"
"Joel told me," she said quietly. "He said to keep my bag packed, and not to fall asleep."
So he did whisper something in her ear when he hugged her.
"Okay, good," you breathed, trying to hide your nervousness.
"I packed all new clothes, and a few other things I wanted. Do you think I need anything else?"
"You have your flashlight?" you asked.
"Yep. And I got this," she said, proudly reaching into her pants pocket and pulling out a switchblade.
"Where did you get that?"
"Does it matter?" she replied.
"Just be careful with that thing, put it away," you told her. She folded it back up and shoved it into her jeans.
You poked your head out of her door, making sure the coast was clear before taking a step out. You made it two feet before Ellie's hand shot out and grabbed your arm, pulling you back into her room just in time. The master bedroom door swung open and June hobbled out in her nightgown, making her way groggily to the bathroom. You and Ellie stood with your ears pressed against the bedroom door, listening intently as the toilet flushed and the sink ran.
"Where's Joel?" Ellie mouthed.
You pointed down to the floor and mouthed back basement.
You waited until you heard her door click shut and the squeak of the boxspring before opening Ellie's door again. Silently, you made your way down the hall and to the dark kitchen, where you waited for Joel.
"What's he doing?" she said as softly as possible.
"Motion sensors," was all you said back. She shook her head.
"He won't know - I'll do it," she replied, and before you could stop her, she opened the door and made her way down the steps, turning her flashlight on in the process. You went after her as quickly and quietly as you could, knowing Joel wouldn't expect you to be down there.
You entered the bunker, taking a second to gawk at all the guns adorned on the walls. There was also an elaborate looking radio and a workbench filled with electrical parts. You passed five dressers that looked to be filled with different types of ammunition, and you thought you even saw a couple grenades.
"Joel," you whispered, and you heard him shuffle near the back of the room. You swung your flashlight towards the noise, your heart pounding in your ears. He stepped out from behind a tall shelf of canned goods, shaking his head and holstering his revolver.
"This wasn't the plan," he scolded with a deep frown, but before you could explain, Ellie pushed past you both and made her way to the little room in the back that housed all of the security system equipment.
"Ellie!" Joel whispered, going after her.
"I know what I'm doing," she said over her shoulder. He glanced back at you and you shrugged.
"There, the alarm is turned off and so is the recording," she said, emerging from the room. Joel gave her a confused look.
"Recording?" you repeated.
"Yeah, the cameras record everything. So they won't know what direction we go when they wake up tomorrow and try to review the footage," she explained, looking at you like it was obvious before heading to the stairs.
"Did you know-" you began to ask, but Joel cut you off.
"Hey, wait," he whispered, making Ellie stop on the bottom step. He unscrewed the cap of whiskey Dave had shared with him earlier and poured it all over the radio, watching as it sparked a bit. And for good measure, he cut the wire that powered the device before making his way toward the stairs, pushing past Ellie to lead you both out of the house.
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Joel led you to the barn, maneuvering on the soft grass instead of the noisy gravel. There was a standard padlock on the door, which he was able to break relatively easily with his hunting knife. He was beginning to realize Ellie's aunt and uncle had all the appearances of being survivalists, but lacked most of the skills. He had lost count of the things he would have done differently if he was defending his own home.
Still, he didn't want to wake them when he was so close to safety. So, he put the truck in neutral and had Ellie steer from the driver's seat while the two of you pushed the car down the long driveway, waiting until it reached the road before making Ellie move to the back and starting it up.
He drove for a few hours until you were both struggling to keep your eyes open, the adrenaline that was previously fueling you both long since worn off.
"Let's pull off here, maybe we can find some gas before we head out in the mornin'," Joel said softly, trying not to wake Ellie.
"Okay," you said quietly, staring out the window as he got off the interstate. He drove for another half hour until he found a volunteer fire hall.
There were a few abandoned cars in the large lot when you pulled in. Joel parked the truck and turned to you.
"Lemme go in and check it out, you stay with the kid," he said, unbuckling his seatbelt.
"I'll come with you," you said, but he held out his hand.
"Stay," he repeated firmly, and you shook your head.
"What if-"
"Just do as your told for once," he snapped. You clamped your mouth shut, too tired to argue. He was clearly annoyed that you improvised back at the house and brought Ellie in the basement.
"Fine," you seethed, and he slid out of the truck. You watched with your arms crossed as he approached the door, shining his flashlight inside the window before working on the lock and pushing his way in. You could see the beam of his flashlight through the windows as he moved from room to room, carefully checking out each one before finally coming back out to let you know it was clear.
"Ellie," you whispered, nudging her shoulder gently. Her eyes fluttered open and she sat up with a yawn, turning around to try to figure out where you were.
"We're gonna stay here for the rest of the night and try to get some sleep before hitting the road tomorrow," you explained as you hopped out of the truck.
She silently followed you into the building, where Joel was waiting, holding the door open. He led you both up the stairs where the firefighters had a small living space with bunk beds. Ellie snagged the first one she saw, curling up with the blanket that was already draped over the bed and falling back asleep.
"You good?" Joel asked, looking over as you flopped down on one of the beds.
"Yeah, are you?" you replied. He sighed and rubbed his eyes.
"Long fuckin' day," he murmured.
"Why don't I keep watch tonight and you get some rest, I'll sleep in the car tomorrow," you told him. You could tell he wanted to argue with you but his exhaustion won.
"Yeah, alright," he agreed after a moment.
You stood back up, checking your gun before heading back downstairs. After you peeked out the windows to confirm everything was all quiet, you wandered around the first floor a bit. It looked like after the outbreak, the building may have acted as a safe zone. There were abandoned bags, cots, blankets, and trash overflowing in the bins.
You were looking through some duffel bags for anything useful when you heard a noise outside. You froze, quickly pulling your gun from the back of your jeans as you made your way cautiously out into the room. At first glance, your flashlight didn't show anything out of the ordinary. You were about to give up when you heard the same noise again. Whipping to your left, you advanced towards the sound with your gun drawn.
The last thing you remember is a hand gripping your throat from behind and a needle slipping into your neck.
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Tag List @nana90azevedo @ninaminaromina @untamedheart81 @taz-97 @nastiasnow @amyispxnk @plz-be-solo @iloveramensm @caitlynsixxx @anoverwhelmingdin @harriedandharassed @jessthebaker @txtattoostark @merz-8 @sarap-77 @sarahhxx03
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claimedcrossbows · 6 months
Text
Served! Sanji x Fem!reader Pt. 2
Slight anime spoilers/foreshadowing.
THANKS FOR ALL THE SUPPORT ON THE FIRST CHAPTER!!! <3
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Your anxiety was at a full ten as all you could do was listen to pots banging and clattering and Sanji yelling at his makeshift team of chef’s that consisted of a green haired sword fighter, a liar, and a rubber man who wanted to eat everything he saw.
You almost got up from your bed when you heard what sounded a awful lot like a fire extinguisher.
“Oh my God i’m doomed.” You mumbled still clutching your stomach.
You sighed looking over at the orange haired woman occupying your sisters bed and wondered how this woman had managed to make it this far with a crew full of idiots.
If she survived she definitely had your full sympathy.
You sighed looking back over your recipe book that contained numerous healing recipes that you had mastered over the years.
From the looks of the woman it seems she has been bitten by some type of insect, probably from a warm island climate if you had to take a guess.
You skimmed through your book trying to see what recipe would best suit the woman.
Your thoughts were however interrupted by a knock on your door.
You slowly got up and answered the door surprised to see Sanji standing before you.
“How’s Nami?” He immediately asked, looking slightly past you into your room to see his friend still unconscious.
“She’ll get better when I start on the recipe I need to heal her, I already have a few in mind, but that’s not going to happen anyway unless you serve a meal worthy of a outstanding letter of recommendation from the food critic.” You said crossing your arms.
He nods, “That’s why I came up here, come down stairs for a food test.” He said.
You nod your stomach still doing sommersaults but you’d brave anything to make sure your got a good review tonight. So you followed Sanji down stairs and nearly fell out when you saw the state of your kitchen.
It looked like a sea beast had torn apart your kitchen.
“Sweet Jesus…” You said.
“I promise I will clean it thoroughly.” Sanji quickly intercepts seeing you look like you were about to collapse from the sheer shock. “LUFFY I TOLD YOU TO STOP STANDING ON THE TABLES!” Sanji yelled kicking him off.
“Owwww Sanjiii!! I was trying to reach the pots!!” Luffy groaned.
“I Put you on untensil cleaning what could you possibly need a pot for!?” Sanji angrily yelled.
“TO BOIL THE CRAB DUH!” Luffy yelled back.
“WHY ISN’T THE CRAB BOILED!?” Sanji seethed.
“BECAUSE USOPP DIDN’T WANNA TOUCH IT!!” Luffy yells pointing at Usopp.
“IT PINCHED MY NOSE!” Usopp exclaimed.
“I’m lost..” Zoro says holding up two spoons one which was the soup spoon and the other the tea spoon.
“WHEN ARE YOU NOT!?” Sanji hissed throwing a ladle at the mans head.
“WATCH IT CASANOVA!” Zoro seethed.
Sanji sighed turning to you, “Come this way Y/N.” He said directing you out to the dining hall that to your surprise had been miraculously fixed up and in front of you were the main courses and appetizers for the night.
“These are the samples that your sister helped me make, she’s currently looking for some more seasonings for the seafood gumbo.” He paused then continued, “She’s a really fantastic cook, i’m sure she learned from you.” Sanji said giving you a more pollite smile than the flirtatious ones he used earlier.
All you gave was a nod as you began trying some of the lobster mac and jambalaya.
You watched Sanji stare at you with the upmost confidence in his dishes as you chewed and swallowed the rest making sure to have a complete poker face all throughout.
Your little sister enters the room and sees you testing the food.
“Y/N how is it!? I made sure he followed your recipe’s to the highest degree!” She boasted.
You put your fork down and stared at both of them, “The jambalaya could definitely use more kick, the lobster mac a bit more salt, and i’m assuming you prepared the alligator?” You said looking at your little sister.
You take the entire platter of alligator and basically shove it at her.
“Y-yes!” She said shakily.
“It’s too tough, 86 it, and do it over again.” You said flatly.
“R-right!” She said taking the platter and immediately running off her face heavily dissapointed.
You look back over at Sanji who to your surprise had sat down pulled out a cigarette, lit it, and was already mid smoke watching you and your sister interact.
“Ooh your tough, reminds me of Zeff.” He notes blowing out a puff of smoke.
“Who told you you could smoke in my restaurant?” You said plucking the cigarette out of his hand.
He smiles, “My apologies.” He says. “So back to the cutting board?” He asks.
“No. Yours was actually good it can go out.” You said then added, “Guess Zeff instilled some sense in you when it comes to cooking.” You noted.
Sanji laughs, “I can out cook him on my worst day.”
“Hmm, add some more seasonings to those dishes and they’ll be set.” You said. “Just no oregano okay?” You stressed.
Sanji paused and stared at you with a awe struck look followed by a bright smile that nearly blinded you, “I think I just fell for you harder.” He said breathlessly.
“I don’t believe in love at first sight.” You say flatly.
“Then maybe I should walk in again?” He offered a flirty smile gracing his lips once again.
“You are really making me sick.” You sighed feeling the nausea creep back upon you.
“Love sick?” He raised a brow.
“No. Just sick, sick.” You plainly say as his smitten look remained on his face.
You shoot the cook a puzzled look and shake your head, “Okay lover boy, dinners in a few, i’m going back upstairs to look through my healing recipes.” You say turning to leave before the love cook could utter another word.
Before you went upstairs you could hear Luffy screaming, “SANJIII ONE OF THE CRABS ESCAPED!!”
“HOW!?” You could hear sanji angrily yell back.
“IT’S NOT OUR FAULT IT HAD A KNIFE!” Usopp could be heard squealing.
“ZORO FIGHT IT!” Luffy could be heard yelling.
Next thing you heard was “THREE SWORD STYLE!!” Followed be a whole lot of ruckus.
It would be a miracle if you pulled this dinner service off you thought.
-
It was dinner time and you had succesfully managed to find a recipe you think would work on the bedridden woman now it was just time for Sanji to uphold his end of the deal you. Your stomach was still in knots but you managed to dress yourself up for the dinner service and walk yourself down the stairs to a restaurant full of customers some seated, some waiting to be seated.
Your sister along with Zoro and Usopp seemed to be waiting tables, you laughed just a bit when your sister had to instruct Zoro more than several times where the empty tables were for people to be seated.
Your sight suddenly caught a man to the far right back corner of the restaurant by himself and every chef’s insight when it came to food critics kicked in and you knew this must be the food critic.
You nearly threw up again this time anxiety induced as you quickly ran towards the kitchen and screamed for Sanji.
“Sanji!” You yell out of breath by the time you entered the kitchen.
“Mon cheri is everything okay?” He asks setting the frosting down since he was in the middle of decorating desserts.
“The-The Critic is out there far right back corner table.” You stressed. “ I cannot meet him in the state i’m in.” You explain.
“You look stunning though.” He said admiring your outfit.
“If sweaty, pale, and exasperated is stunning I must be frickin gorgeous then, Sanji go out there and talk to them!” You say grabbing the man by the tie and dragging him towards the door but not before the door opened and your sister stood their smiling.
“I met the food critic!!” She boasted.
Your blood ran cold immediately.
“You what?” You asked.
“I met the food critic!” She repeated, “And guess what since we were running out of appetizers due to the crawfish shipment being delayed I offered him some of the shrimp skewers I made left over from last night, they were such a big hit I thought he’d like them!” She excitedly said.
“There were leftovers…I thought we ate them all-”
“Well yeah but I saved a plate for myself for later, it’s a good thing I didn’t eat them though.” She smiled excitedly.
Your heart rate was in over drive and you had never ran so fast in your entire life.
“Don’t eat that shrimp skewer!!” You yell in a room full of crowded people who all pause and look at you appauled.
Your eyes meet the food critic and his empty appetizer plate and you nearly collapse right there.
Your sister hurries behind you followed by Sanji who looked just as lost as everyone else in the room.
You watch the food critic approach you and you swear the world is spinning at this point.
“Are you the owner of this establishment?” The critic says their eyes boring into you with peak interest.
You couldn’t read his face which only heightened your panic, “Y-yes sir..” You stutter.
“Well Ms, I suggest your get some new wait staff, that gentleman over there ate my appetizer before I could even take a bite!” He angrily says.
Your eyes widen in confusion until the critic points to the back of the restaurant where you could see Luffy laying flat on his back on a table surrounded by gobbled up scraps from desserted plates.
“LUFFY!” Sanji yells.
“Uhhgggg I don’t feel so well.” He groans.
“Ah..I apologize sir, please allow us to get you another appetizer and perhaps a bottle of our fancy wine?” You offer.
The critic contemplates for a minute and then nods, you sigh and relief and Sanji quickly goes to serve the critic his food.
You let out a sigh of relief as your sister still looks at you puzzled by everything that had just occured.
You say nothing as you walk back upstairs suddenly needing to lie down.
-
The dinner service ended and you were too scared to go back downstairs to see what had happened. It wasn’t until you heard a knock on your door that you got up and answered it. There stood Sanji still wearing his suit and famous smile.
“Come downstairs?” He asked.
You nodded following him downstairs as he lead you past the dining room, past the kitchen, and outside at the back of the restaurant where a nice deck stood over looking the ocean.
“So you found the deck huh?” You quipped as you saw a table and two chairs set up that hadn’t been there before.
“It’s peaceful back here.” He noted.
“It is.” You agree sitting down noticing a lidded tray in the middle of the table.
You shoot him a bewildered look and he just smiles unveiling the plate just like he would any other customer.
There in front of you on a plate layed a single letter, and a drink.
“The drink is a pear ginger smoothie to help settle your stomach, and the letter is from the critic, bon appetite.” He says smiling warmly as he sits across from you.
You give him a short smile and sip the smoothie actually surprised with just how good it is.
“It’s not a healing recipe, but it should still help ease the nausea” He says.
“Thank you.” You say as you focus your attention back onto the letter, “Did you read it?” You ask.
“It’s your restaurant Mi’lady.” He says, “You should do the honors.” He says.
You nod as you pick up the letter and take a deep breath before reading it.
As you read you could feel Sanji’s eyes locked onto you and you weren’t sure if it was due to anticipation or something else as you could feel his inquistive eyes never leave you.
You set the letter down and look at him.
“Well East Blue Boy, you did it!” You smiled watching a wide smile spread upon his face.
“Great review?” He asked happily.
“4 out of 5 stars, mostly because of the poor wait staff-”
“I Apologize for Luffy.” Sanji immediately cuts in.
“Actually I think he saved me.” You sigh putting the letter down as sitting further back in your chair.
“Yeah what was that about earlier?” He asks shooting you that same questioning look as he reached in his pants pocket and pulled out a lighter and another cigarette.
“Geez what are you a chimney?” You quip.
“I’m assuming it’s okay now that we’re outside?” He asks before he lights.
“Eh it’s your lungs.” You shrug.
He gently laughs, “You trying to stall?” He asks.
You sigh frowning a bit, “I know what caused me and my entire staff to contract food poisoning.” You admit.
“Yeah I was wondering about that, how does a chef as talented as you get food poisoning?” He asks.
“It wasn’t me..” You admit. “It was my sisters shrimp skewers.” You explain.
“Wait-the ones she gave the critic!?” Sanji eyes widen. ”Those very ones.” You nod, “Thank God Luffy ate them before he did, ohh wait he’s okay right?” You ask kind of worried about the bouncy kid.
“Luffy’s immune to most poisons, he’s fine just a mild stomach ache I gave him one of the ginger smoothies as well.” Sanji says.
“That’s good.” You say tiredly.
“Your sister though? She’s so talented?” Sanji asks.
You shake your head, “She’s amazing, she’ll probably be better than me at some point..but she’s young, passionate and quite forgetful, always so quick to move from one thing to the other, like leaving those shrimp skewers out for hours and only fridgerating it after it had been out most of the day.” You sigh.
“Ah..so that’s how it happened.” Sanji sort of chuckles. “Zeff would’ve had my head if i had let something like that happen, but you made her my sous chef?” He wonders.
“She’s young, and makes mistakes, but when she’s serious she’s one of the most talented upcomers i’ve ever seen.” You say proudly. “I knew with a critic coming in she was going to give it her all.”
“You trusted her even though it could’ve meant the end of your restaurant?” He states admiration for you ghosting his face.
“Of course, she’s my sister.” You shrug giving a small smile.
He returns the smile as you both fall into silence.
You can’t help but notice his blue eyes and how much they shined looking at you in a way you couldn’t quite place.
You clear your throat and stand up, “Well since you fulfilled your end of the bargain I better start making the recipe to heal your friend.” You say.
He nods and you begin walk to the door turning around as you see him still seated there.
“Aren’t you coming?” You ask.
He raises a brow in confusion.
“Come on your going to help me.” You say watching his eyes light up.
“Yes Chef!” He says smiling as he puts his cigarette out and follows you in.
-
Hey guys wow this was supposed to be 2 parter at most, but now I'm thinking I might make a 3rd part, let me know if it’s something you want though.
Oh and here's a video of the crab fighting Luffy, Usopp and Zoro!!
youtube
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bibi-brains · 3 days
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𝐈 𝐍𝐞𝐞𝐝 𝐅𝐨𝐜𝐮𝐬
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ao3 version
Summary: You were trying to focus on your studies and Mahito gets his own laptop to study like a cat.
Warnings: just fluff, no proof reading, and calculus ment :')
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Mahito watched as you scribbled in your notebook, the formulas getting bigger and some little notes that turned them into little ones in less than 5 lines. If he said he was understanding, he would be lying. The curse was not strange about human ways to live since he got with you, still there are some lines and columns that don't seem to fit or have a reason after all his research and your explanations, why would you solve those stupid questions like it would change the world? Or would you use them for something? Isn't computers technological enough to do that for humans?
You were trying to focus on your calculus exercises and ignoring the presence by your side, but you still could feel his gaze on you while you risked your pencil on the paper.
"Mahi." The sweet nickname pulled him off of thoughts. "Could you read something else? You're distracting me a little, and I'm getting nervous being watched like this." You didn't have a problem being watched while studying, but only when you felt confident about the subject and could quickly solve a question.
"I already read all of your books and the ones you bought recently. I'm bored just like you." His gaze was still fixed on your paper, his face had dropped following the corner of his eyes, that made a cute expression for gim, he looked like a puppy when was given a treat that he didn't like. If the place was completely silent, you would be able to hear some engines working inside of his head.
"I'm just trying to focus on this list because I have an important exam to do tomorrow, and it would be really helpful if you gave me a little more space for my brain to explode." Your voice was calm but held a serious tone, making the curse blink his heterochromic eyes like he was pulled out from a spell to look at you.
"MY brain will soon stop working if you write one more line about whatever curse spell you're trying to do."
His little drama pulled out a laugh from you. It was cute how you two grew close to share these moments and how Mahito could make you feel more human.
"It's not so hard, but if you want to learn this, you will have to start from the very beginning."
Moving over to your side you picked your laptop, turned it on and typing the password, opened the browser and the study tab you used for quick review of subjects, clicking on a video, you put the screen in front of you with a video of basic math on pause before reaching towards your drawer to grab a pen, a notebook, and your old headphones giving to him so he could write any questions or copy stuff from the video. "If you want to understand here, you must start from here." You said, pointing to your notebook after redirecting to the screen plugging the headset and putting on his ears.
Mahito seemed confused, but it was easy to catch his curiosity like a baby seeing a colorful book and funny shapes, but understood the task and pressed play on the video.
You finally had some space and got to focus on your exercises. Finishing the first list, you made a pause to let your brain breathe and stretch your limbs. The curse was still by your side, but instead, he was writing everything the woman said in the video. Surprisingly, he was watching the next one. You stopped to look more at him like this. His face was serene, eyebrows moving up and sometimes furrows when he didn't understand the information. He looked so pretty focused like this that you want to consider having him studying for you and helping you out on the exam. No one will see him anyway.
Your imagination vanished when Mahito caught your look, giving the same eyes you did early to him.
"I'm sorry, I'm trying to focus here. Could you please watch something else." He threw your spell back at you, grinning as a war sign.
"Dickhead."
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maleyanderecafe · 9 months
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10:16 (Visual Novel)
Created by: catsket
Genre: Fantasy
I've actually been waiting for a while to do a review on one of @catskets's games since they also made a bunch of other games, and now I can! 10:16 is a game made for the #yanjam and it connects a bit to the other universe of Art without Blood (it has a reference for it, I'm pretty sure). Catsket always has a very ephemeral feeling in their games, so they're always fun to play.
The story starts with a cool intro (and very nice music) before watching the main character (Angel as a default name) going to down an elevator into Hell. They reach one of the floors to be greeted by a graveyard and meet a muzzle wearing long haired person, who welcomes us to heresy, the sixth circle. He introduces himself as Dorian and talks to them about their trip down here, how it was strangely pleasant to talk to the other keepers on the other floors. The sky starts to grow dark and rain ashes, so the two head inside of the library (which looks like a cathedral)for cover. Dorian tells Angel that he collects books of different types of heresies and offers a drink to Angel. Angel seems to be going down the seven rings of hell to make a plea with Satan, believing that they were incorrectly brought to hell, as they are a devotee for the Lord all of their life. We learn how Angel died, while going to mass, they were trying to help with something on the roof, but a bird startled them and they fell to their death. Dorian takes a pendant from Angel to find out why they were sent to hell in the first place. The two start talking and we learn that Dorian was once human a long time ago. He was burned for leading some Romans astray, believing that religion was selfish thus the reason he became the keeper of heresy.
Dorian is able to point out a specific point in time that caused Angel's downfall, specifically when Angel laughed at the idea of feeding the 1000, which is an act of heresy. Despite all this, Dorian asks if Angel still wants to go down to make their case with Satan.
There are about five different endings to this, ranging from going to meet Satan (and presumably failing their case, thus running back to Dorian), staying with Dorian without knowing the truth, running away and nearly dying from the ashes with Dorian coming to rescue them. Or being thrown into the elevator and presumably being torn apart by the rest of the levels of hell.
The ending that reveals everything is when Dorian reveals that he was the cause of Angel's death. Dorian fell in love with Angel the first time he saw them, visiting as a raven outside of their house, knowing that they would end up coming to this ring of hell. Dorian wanted to see them as soon as possible and was the bird that ended up causing Angel to fall to their death. Dorian asked the other keepers to play nice, all so that he could see you. Dorian confesses his love, promising that they have eternity to figure out what to do- just the two of them.
Like I said earlier, I generally really like catsket's games because they all have an ethereal feel to them. They generally focus on religion or a higher being (like a god or the personification of a certain concept) and they are always interesting. 10:16 is no exception to this. The sixth ring of hell as described in this game is very much of a godly air (so to speak) and it feels outerworldly. I like the MC, Angel in this too. I think I stated this before, but I do prefer having MCs that have more character to them since I can better picture why the yandere might like them. So it is fun to see Angel have this kind of devotion only to be sent to Hell despite being a devout person. I suppose regardless, their fate was sealed, either forced to stay in hell for a minor sin they committed and because of Dorian's interference which lead to their death. I think it was good that the yandere ending was the last one I played because it really does tie everything together pretty neatly.
Dorian as a yandere is pretty cool. Though his reason of falling in love with Angel is pretty plain, I do like the efforts he goes to in getting them to stay with him, from killing them early in an accident, to getting all of the other rings of hell to be nice to them and even giving the reason of heresy to convince them to stay (its possible he could be lying about it though since he is the keeper of heresy but who knows). In a lot of endings, Dorian will let Angel go, either letting them run away or going down to hell knowing full well they will fail. Plus, I think his design is pretty neat with the muzzle that's on him. There are some references to casket's other games as well like Limerence or Art without Blood that are sprinkled in there.
I think the funniest (unintentionally) moment in the game is when Angel asks why he has a cathedral in hell to which Dorian essentially responds "I just think it's neat!"
Overall, like I said, it's a pretty fun and nice for a spin off game. If you do like this style, then the Art without Blood series does have another yandere in it, which is always nice. Plus the intro song is pretty nice and I love listening to it.
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adobe-outdesign · 1 year
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What’s your opinion on Terapagos?
(Disclaimer: The DLC isn't out at the time of writing this. I'm doing this review now because we have the design and official art, but keep in mind I don't have context for some elements yet and thus my opinions could change in the future.)
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I liked Terapagos' design the second I saw the drawing of it in the Scarlet/Violet book. While I don't think the final design is quite as good as the sketch (more on that later), I do like this guy overall.
First, conceptually, it's probably based in part on the tarasque, a mythical French and Spanish creature. Not only is it in the name and region, but the mane and hexagonal turtle shell is likely derived from it:
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And even putting that aside, the simple concept of crystal turtle is pretty solid. Many gems are cut into a hexagonal shape to show off their luster, so using the natural plating on a turtle/tortoise shell to show off the same shape is a simple and effective. This is also nice because it visually represents the gimmick.
Visually, it's not bad. It's a surprisingly cute little thing (or big thing; we don't know its size yet. Personally I'm really hoping it's gigantic) with its big eyes and little mouth. The colors are also fine, using a yellow and blue gradient on the fur and a dark purple for contrast on the shell and body.
However, I do have to point out that it could've been better in some areas. Looking at that sketch again:
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I've suspected for a long time that GameFreak has been "watering down" some of the more complex details in their designs, such as fur, in order to make them easier to model. Assuming this sketch functions as concept art in a sense, it seemingly confirms this. The Terapagos we got has some stiff, short broom-like fur around the head and three short flowing groups of fur for the tail. But the sketch? Look at that gorgeous flowing mane around the head, and the sheer detail and length of that tail (so long I had to cut it off here!). The sketch looks way better and way cooler due to this, and it's a shame that GameFreak is afraid to do more complex fur like this.
The other thing about the sketch is that I felt like it was a lot less cutesy; note how the eye is a less round shape, for example. Some of it was also misinterpretation on my part (I originally thought the eye was ringed, like a chameleon's, and the spikes on the head were ears). Keep in mind that the journals imply that Terapagos can screw with people's minds, and it sits in the bottom of Area Zero, barely moving and crystalizing everything around it. Obviously what we got wasn't bad, but I do wish it managed to be a bit more eerie and surreal. That's just personal preference, however.
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Anyway, back to the design we got, I only have two real nitpicks. First, I think the spikes on the head are unnecessary and only serve to clutter the design. And secondly, I'm not a huge fan of how the shell literally has type symbols on it. We don't know the origin of this thing so maybe it'll end up making sense, but it just feels really forced compared to just coloring each plate a different color (it's more colorblind friendly this way, but considering this is the game that removed the shiny noise and sparkles I really doubt that was GameFreak's intent).
All of that said, I do really like this legendary so far. Like I said, the concept is strong, it's adorable, and the general mythological creature vibe is great. I do wish it kept more of the complexity of the sketch and I think the symbols are a bit forced, but everything else is enjoyable and I'm interested to learn more about this guy.
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himbeereule · 2 months
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(I'd call this a hot take if it weren't so lukewarm that it crosses the treshold into slightly cold)
"nowadays, everyone is suddenly getting diagnosed with autism or adhd or whatever"
no, people just used to not get diagnosed no matter how obvious it was
like, throughout my whole childhood people - including professionals - were like "huh, she's seriously strange, wonder what that's about", but nobody ever had the brilliant idea to just check
I mean, there was the assumption that I probably have adhd, but I was never tested nor did they do anything to help (except scolding me for not really participating in class, forgetting to bring things (sometimes my whole schoolbag) every single day, etc; I've never done homework in my entire life)
they did send me to speech therapy because I was really quiet unless talking about some special interest, then I wouldn't shut up until told to (my dearest adults always made sure to let me know how much they suffered from me talking to them <3); it was a semi-success - the therapist found that she couldn't do any exercises with me, but that I was happy and able to hold a normal conversation about the goals and methods of speech therapy (she ended up explaining her study books to me, and we just chatted about those for the whole therapy)
they also sent me to occupational therapy, but I spent the whole time rotating (literally just spinning in circles every session), so that didn't really help with anything either
so I had to suffer through many years of school (I skipped a grade, but changed schools a lot (I attended almost all school types in Germany lol), so I've been in school way longer than normal) always listening to teachers saying I had "the potential to always get perfect grades if she just... uuuh..." without ever managing to think of an actual solution, or even just suggesting we could maybe look for what's wrong with me
literally all my various schools ever did in that regard was sending me to take IQ tests, which led to one of the stupidest sentences I've ever heard (keep in mind it was an actual psychologist specialized in schoolchildren and responsible for the entire school who said this): "she's just so intelligent, we normal people will never understand her" - which was then used as justification to do absolutely nothing despite me having glaring problems in every single sector of (school) life
this whole thing also seriously set me back later - when I first learned about autism, I was like "no, everyone always told me how extremely weird I am, this would be way too easy of an explanation"; in the end, it took me three whole years of people learning about autism going "hey, that sounds like you!" (one school I was at specialized in social professions, so we learned about things like that as part of the curriculum), and people who lived with autists and autists themselves constantly assuming I was autistic and being really bewildered when I told them I wasn't, before I decided to go to diagnosis (surprise: the peer-reviewed status was officially confirmed)
but at that point, it didn't really help anymore - yes, getting closure was kinda nice, but when you're an adult, the little help that is available is only available if you take care of getting it yourself - which I absolutely can't, that's part of the problem in the first place.
so, in conclusion, I spent my entire life getting told how much potential I have by the very people who made sure to do nothing to actually help me achieve it (or just, you know, have a somewhat stable average performance, like everyone else)
tl;dr: I'm a massive disappointment to myself and everyone else, but at least I know it's not my fault. yay.
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vizzy740 · 8 months
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Late Night TodoMomo
Momo didn’t usually go out to the commons rooms at night. After curfew, everyone was supposed to go to bed, and loitering around in the common rooms was an easy way to get in trouble.
That’s why Momo didn’t usually participate in such behavior, but once in a while, she wouldn’t have a good night’s rest, like when she was feeling bad about how she’d done on some hero training exercise or some other event, or like this night, where there was an exam in the following morning.
She’d found that the best way to calm herself down was walking down to the kitchen in the commons, brewing herself a cup of tea, and eating a small pastry left by Sato during his weekly baking sessions. She usually  reviewed the chemical compounds for different types of wood and paints during this time. She’d memorized them all when she’d first learned to read and write, in her quest to make her first real object with her quirk, a matryoshka doll.
Thankfully, the rest of the class hadn’t raided the fridge yet, and Sato’s pastries, –baked just last night, most likely as Sato’s own anti-stress ritual– were untouched.
She was savoring a small pastry. She thinks Sato called it a mini boston cream pie, and it did fit the description, but she couldn’t know for sure until she asked him tomorrow.
It was delicious, like all of Sato’s creations, not too rich and with just the right amount of sweetness and moisture.
 She was reading a chemical compound book (though really she already knew what was inside) and waiting for her tea kettle to whistle when she heard the elevator doors open.
Then out stepped Todoroki.
It was strange seeing him late at night. Even though they lived together in the dorms. She'd never seen him look so disheveled, though she supposed she wasn’t very close to him.
She’d never seen him in his nightclothes, but they weren’t anything interesting, just a plain loose pair of pants and a white button up shirt.
They were ruffled and wrinkled and clearly hadn’t been ironed in some time, though Momo supposed that such a thing didn’t matter, and Todoroki probably didn’t care if the pants of his sleeping wear looked crisp and straight or not.
His hair was also mussed, and the red and the white mixed together at his part, with flyaways all around.
He stumbled over to the kitchen counter to stand next to Momo, though he seemed ready to topple over at any second. He blinked, and seemed to gain a bit of clarity from his groggy state, “What’s that smell?” He asked.
“S-Sato’s desserts, he made them yesterday, mini boston cream pies I believe he said? I can get one if you would like,” Momo told him, feeling her face flush slightly as she rambled, “And I-I’m boiling some water for tea, would you like some? It has a mild sedative, since it’s for helping people to fall asleep, but I have other options I can take out too–”
“Yes, I would like that.” He interrupted.
“The cream pie or the tea?” Momo asked, smiling slightly.
“Both.” Todoroki stated bluntly. “And I want the sedative type of tea.”
“Did I disturb you?” Momo asked as she took out a cup, and another bag of the same tea.
“No. I didn’t even know you were down here.” Todoroki answered.
The kettle whistled, and Momo hurried to take it off the stove and turn the dial off. She poured the water into the cups, and handed one to Todoroki.
She was surprised for a second as he put his hand fully around the cup, before remembering his quirk. Then she hurried off to grab a second miniature pie from the fridge and handed it to Todoroki as well.
After she put it in his unoccupied hang, he watched it with his usual monotone stare before taking a bite of it, then the ends of his mouth raised slightly. Only those who really knew Todoroki well could tell it was actually a smile and not just some odd, different version of his usual emotionless expression.
She smiled, “I’m happy you like it.”
He turned to meet her eyes, and with his cheek similar to that  of a chipmunk, his cheeks slightly puffed out, Momo couldn’t help but give out a little giggle.
Todoroki was cute like that, when he did those little, easy things in life, when the untouchable feeling he gave off melted away, showing the boy underneath.
A boy that Momo liked.
She smiled at him as she let the thought swirl in her mind. By the time she returned back to reality, taking in the changes to her surroundings, she felt herself flush again.
Todoroki was less than a foot away from her, still staring into her eyes.
“T-Todoroki.” she stammered, too dazed to say anything but his name.
She glanced around, and saw her cup upon the counter beside her. She picked it up and glanced into it, upon seeing that the water was sufficiently colored by the tea bag, she decided that it had steeped for long enough, and removed it from the water, dropping it into the nearby kitchen garbage can without moving from their close position.
“I think the tea’s steeped long enough. Do you want me to put yours in the tea bag?”
Todoroki shook his head.
“The taste might get worse if you don’t.”
“I don’t care.” He replied, “I want the sedative to be at its most potent.”
“Okay…?” Momo answered hesitantly. She took a sip of her tea. It was nice, as it usually was.
Todoroki continued to look at her. Momo wasn’t really used to this. She’d seen Todoroki look at her every once in a while, he stared at everyone really, if he took an interest in something, his eyes would just stay on it, either not knowing or not caring about being strange.
Usually it was fine, and it didn’t make Momo uncomfortable most of the time, it was more of a question of why.
Because the why changed everything.
Her face was hot. Todoroki had walked back up to her, and they were close again.
Then Todoroki touched her face, and–
It was cold.
She blinked, a bit surprised at how cold it felt.
“Is that good?”
“I– uh, yeah.” She answered, because it was nice, the cool feeling, it was a bit surprising, but overall it was soothing, it felt good on her left cheek. “I… thought you were going to do something else.”
“What else would I do?” Todoroki asked, his voice even as usual, even as he leaned close to her, their noses barely an inch away from each other. He kept his hand on his face.
“Kiss me.” 
“Do you want me to?” Todoroki asked. For Todoroki, the monotone of his voice sounded completely genuine.
“D-do you want to?” Momo asked, her voice trembling.
“I think so.”
“Then… do it.” Momo breathed out.
And he did.
(Catcity)
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a-random-fan4444 · 1 year
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I've just read through your evil grandpa au and I love it! Has Draxum ever seen Casey fight? Does Draxum ever get attached to Casey? How does he show affection? Does Casey ever genuinely get angry at someone? How does he feel about the situation hes in? Does he ever tell Draxum what type of other weapons he develops in the apocalypse ? Apologies for the barrage of questions, I'm very excited .
Every ask I get is a ray of sunshine, I love the people who send me asks so much. 😭
(For those who need context on the au)
Thank you for the questions @orderdchaosthings2 !!!!! I’m more than happy to answer them all!
Draxum’s caught glimpses of Casey Jr fighting. Mostly just the aftermath of fights tho, like his escape from the prison cell on his first day. Draxum send Casey Jr on errands that involve fighting, with Huginn and Muninn supervising. So the gargoyles have seen him fight and do tell Draxum of the kid’s skill and ruthlessness. Draxum takes it all with a grain of salt tho, the gargoyles are easily impressed, not to mention have a soft spot for the future boy. While Draxum knows Casey Jr can fight he doesn’t realize the extent of his ability.
Draxum slowly gets attached to Casey Jr. At first seeing him as an inconvenience -> henchman -> useful/competent henchmen -> delusion grandson that he loves very much. The “delusion” part is important because while Draxum loves his grandson he doesn’t 100% believe him, this has an impact on the way both parties see their relationship, Draxum does infantilice Casey Jr, much to Casey Jr’s irritation. Draxum’s like really old so Casey does seem quite young to him, but Casey Jr’s seen some shit and knows when someone’s treating him like an idiot (many members of the resistance treated him like such because of his age).
Draxum shows affection through quality time, gift giving and acts of service. He and Casey Jr spend a lot of time together in the lab, discussing both the mutagen and the turtles. Reviewing each other’s research and such. Draxum teaches Casey Jr some very basic alchemy as well, first so Casey Jr could understand what Draxum’s was asking for when on errand but it slowly evolved into learning with the hope that one day Casey Jr could begin to practice using it. Casey Jr’s very excited to learn since F!Draxum always wanted to show Jr but never had the resources to do so. Draxum bandages Casey Jr’s wounds, Casey Jr could do it himself but Draxum insist on doing it. This was one of the first things Draxum did to show he cared about Casey Jr.
Does Casey Jr ever get genuinely mad at someone? Yes, but that’s a spoiler for a post I’ve got planned, I’ll leave this as a hint.
Casey Jr feels content with the situation. He realize Draxum is his best shot. Not only is Draxum a powerful warrior scientist, but after telling Draxum his future Draxum’s been searching for the turtles. They have the same short term goal. This is also his grandfather, sure he’s different from the man he’ll become but he’s also very similar. Casey Jr’s also very driven on his mission, so even if he was upset with Draxum, he’d still stick it out with him until someone who was better help came along. Plus Huginn and Muninn are very fun to have as co-workers. All this being said, there’s a storm building up under it all, Draxum’s shown clear signs that he won’t help stop the apocalypse because of his denial that I’ll happen, and Casey Jr’s getting more antsy every day that passed by without progress on the mission.
Casey Jr tries, but Draxum avoids the whole “Kraang apocalypse future” topic like the plague. Using every excuse in the book to avoid confronting the reality that Casey Jr came from. Casey Jr does tell him about some weapons without Draxum immediately changing the topic. Junior’s found out that the trick is to avoid mentioning any features specifically built for fighting the Kraang.
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jessequinones · 3 months
Text
Writing Lesson: It’s okay to make mistakes.
I know as a writer I make mistakes, in fact, I’m certain if you go through this text you’ll find grammar and punctuation errors and that's ok. This text isn’t a book or a peer review essay. It’s a conversation from me to you about mistakes in writing.
When I was young, learning how to write, I created this.
***
2010, Wildcats: Civil War
“What are you saying?” A black tom said to a brown tom with anger in his voice.
Before he was finish Shadow walk away wan Deathclan was about to leave but what Whiteheart said next made Shadow froze in his tracks. “I know I can beat you.”
“Is that so?” Shadow said as he was turning around and was slowly walking back toward Whiteheart.
“That is correct.”
“Well then….let’s have a little battle right here and now then.”
Whiteheart could not say no, or back down now. He walks right it in this battle.
***
Yeah...it’s not good but the point is, even though I was a terrible writer, I never stole my writings. All of my terrible stories were original and that’s what I want to talk to you about today.
The word plagiarism has been going around the internet for the last few days and I noticed when people who plagiarised other’s works get caught they tend to say they don’t feel comfortable with their own writings and thought it was a good idea to steal. Assuming they’re genuine, let me say it’s okay if your writing isn’t good, that’s how we learn.
You write a bad sentence or a paragraph which doesn’t make sense, and someone will point it out. You’ll learn over time not to make the same mistakes and grow as a writer. Just copying from someone else won’t help you learn because you’re no longer making mistakes, you’re just copying.
I always hated the saying you gotta keep practising your craft to get better because there were a few times when I thought I couldn’t improve. I kept practicing but I kept making the same mistakes and didn’t know how to get better. For those types of situations, I find it best to ask someone whose more experience how to overcome your hurdle and let me be the first to say there are plenty of people in your craft who’ll be willing to help.
As for writing, here’s a trick I did to help me create stories. For practice, I took a book, like the Warrior series for an example, and copied their words. Before you say that’s plagiarism, first things first, I never published the stories I was copying, and secondly, I was figuring out how the Erin Hunters were creating their stories.
When artists learn how to draw for the first time, they copy someone else’s art style and maybe even do trace works until they become confident in their ability to create their own. I was still trying to learn what my writing style was, and I wanted to figure out how someone else created theirs. Over time I started to get an understanding of how sentence structure was made. I understood foreshadowing, and I understood when and where to add descriptions. I would start looking at lines in the books after I wrote them and be like...I could improve this. I started to see things I didn’t think were necessary for the story and after a while, I told myself I was ready to write my own Warriors fanfic.
Learning from someone else, being inspired by another. These are all things that’ll help you grow as a writer but you still got to do the work yourself. You can’t say you created something original if 90% of it was stolen, you’re only hurting yourself.
If you’re a new writer and have questions, even if you think they’re very basic, please feel free to ask me. I’m not the best writer. In fact, I don’t really know how to create informative writing, which is why I’m practising now, but I do know a few things and am always willing to help someone if I have the time and don’t forget. Keep trying and keep writing, your writing is better than you give it credit for.
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doll-elvis · 10 months
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It's kind of difficult to discern what's true about E and what isn't, because so much of what's been written about him directly conflicts with other things. So it's hard to keep track of what's really true and what's just rumor that got twisted and blown out of proportion.
Me personally, I tend to not trust Lamar, Nash or the Stanleys, because they've all been proven to at best, not have the best memory of things, or at worst be outright liars for money.
I agree completely and throughout my journey of reading about Elvis I’ve learned to not take anything as truth until I have cross referenced between books/interviews and it’s been confirmed by multiple people or at least coincides with behavior that Elvis usually exhibited
** I also highly highly recommend elvislibrary (who is on Instagram and has the biggest elvis book collection I’ve ever seen😫) as well as elvisinfonet for books reviews, whenever I start a new book I usually check out their reviews beforehand as they give great insight to whether the book is credible or not
I have discovered that literally anyone who has breathed the same oxygen as Elvis has come out and shared a story or written a book about him. This man was even more exploited after his death than while he was living and it just angers me. Everyone who knew him has made money off of him in some way and I realized that people will say anything if they think it is a story that will sell
And “Baby let’s play house” by Alanna Nash was actually the first Elvis book I ever read, and foolishly, I believed every story in it, no matter how outrageous it was. Then I started to do a little basic research and I realized she has allowed so many fabricated stories in her book and has given a platform to several people who aren’t credible
Like the whole relationship with Tura Santana never happened and Elvis never even met her even though she claims he proposed, yet Alanna Nash shared her story. And Elvis did not publicly dry hump the fake dog Nipper on stage like she claims, he just wiggled 😭 And Nash uses Byron Raphael as a source, who she co-wrote a playboy article with in 2008, when it’s been confirmed that he never actually worked for Elvis and only very briefly worked for the Colonel (and the playboy article is full of the most blatant lies ever, I cannot believe this woman is regarded as a credible biographer 🤧!!!)
As you said, I’m very wary of Lamar Fike also, he tends to over-exaggerate things and I found his perception of events to be a whole lot different from others when they are describing the same stories
As for the Stanleys, Dee is literally one of the nastiest people you will ever learn about in the Presley circle and it truly disgusts me that Elvis treated her and her sons so kindly (even though he didn’t like her) and she repaid him by going to a tabloid magazine and telling a made up story to make money
What’s most disgusting is that she made up lies about two people she never even met (Gladys Presley and Nick Adams) and only used people who had already passed away as sources for her book like saying that Vernon Presley, Minnie Mae (Elvis’ grandmother) and Alberta (former maid), all knew that Elvis was in a s*xual relationship with his mother. Obviously all these people weren’t here to say otherwise and that is why she wrote the book (I hate that woman so muchhh that I’m getting mad just typing this 💀)
Ricky and David I’m not too crazy about either but I give them a little bit of respect for calling out their mother and saying her book was full of lies
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Honestly the only Stanley books worth reading are by Billy Stanley and I really loved his two books “The faith of Elvis” and “Elvis: My Brother”, I found his insight really unique and I really really appreciated his honesty (if y’all didn’t know Elvis had a brief affair with Billy’s 18 year old wife named Annie, and it was a mess 😭!!!)
If y’all want to be entertained Dee Stanley went on the Geraldo talk show in the 90s alongside Joe Esposito and J.D Sumner to talk about the whole Gladys story and they absolutely drag her 😫 J.D lowkey wanted to slap her and I don’t blame him at all
unfortunately some of the audience believes her about Gladys so that was frustrating to watch but other than that, Dee gets absolutely humiliated 😃
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checkoutmybookshelf · 2 months
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Regency Romantasy
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So...it has been brought to my attention that I perhaps have a type, and this book ticked a lot of really good boxes for me. It's regency-inspired. It's fantasy. It's a romance. It has a chronically ill main character. It has sewing and fashion. Literally 90% of the characters are LGBTQIA. It has a BALCONY SCENE for crying out loud. It even has a gossip columnist who might be better than Lady Whistledown (do NOT come for me, Bridgerton Fandom, I said what I said). I could go on, but at that point I think we would have completely dissolved from actual review to screamed list of things I enjoyed, so let's rein it in for a minute and talk A Fragile Enchantment.
I'm going to start with setting, because while this book is regency-inspired, it also plays a little fast and loose with other historical inspirations. The reality of the blight and famine in historical Ireland (and frankly also the troubles and every time that Ireland revolted against England) was that it came after the regency, but here Niamh is the first generation after a similar event and subsequent revolt in her home country of fantasy Irel--I mean Machland. She has grown up surrounded by survivors of the blight and revolt, and like everyone who reads Maus learns, generational trauma is a BITCH. So when our dressmaker protagonist is invited to make the wedding clothes for the son of the king who murdered her people, it's politically and emotionally charged. Add to that the fact that Niamh's magic is hereditary and weirdly murdery, and yeah, things are emotional as heck.
Possibly I shouldn't relate quite so hard to a protagonist who is literally hurting herself for people who ultimately couldn't give a damn about her, but that IS my villain origin story, so all I had for Niamh was compassion at how hard a position that is to be in.
Niamh herself is beautifully written, and Saft balances all the threads tied around and pulling at Niamh's heart just beautifully. Every choice is complex and fraught, and so-deeply-ingrained-she-doesnt-even-notice-it impulse to shape herself around other people's pain and grief and comfort them instead of sitting with her own feelings is just stunningly well executed without feeling dramatic or indulgent.
Niamh is so desperate for friends, and the little ring she constructs around herself couldn't be stranger or more wonderful. From the enraged, grumpy Kit to Sinclair to Rosa and Miriam, this found family is wildly unlikely and prickly, but they fit between each other's thorns just perfectly.
And speaking of people having thorns...we need to address Kit Carmine. Younger son of a mad (and abusive before he went mad) king with an alcohol problem and green magic, our boy is GRUMPY. And BLUNT. And honestly I love him for that, because those thorns are hiding a very stressed out, distinctly squishy center. And also one that is deathly afraid of hurting people, because that's also a thing.
Kit is so tangled up between rage and duty and the few people he cares about that he and Niamh really have to work to develop a compassionate understanding based on wildly different personalities. And then you add all the imperialist and decolonizing stress between them plus the fact that KIT IS LITERALLY ABOUT TO MARRY SOMEONE ELSE and it's a whole deal.
There are so many wonderful moments in this book, it was a delight from start to finish. I objectively have more to say about this book, but I want to avoid spoilers here to inspire y'all to go read this book. I promise, it's worth it. Now, go get it and read. *shoos you toward the bookstore/library/tablet/place you get your books from*
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adrianasunderworld · 1 year
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Trying to figure out how the TWST boys would react to their potential crushes hugging them without warning.
Ariel to Floyd? He'd probably be delighted and spin her around. Good luck trying to pry her from his cold dead hands.
Tiana to Azul? Bruh he's turning redder than Riddle on one of his bad days, and why are his glasses fogging up?
Mulan to Silver? He'd be surprised at first, but he’d reciprocate without a fuss. Lilia however (spying from afar) is restraining himself from yelling “NOW KISS!!!”
Belle to Leona? Cue the Prince complaining about it, only for his tail to wrap around her waist insisting that he wasn't technically refusing it when she begins to pull away.
Jasmine to Jamil? He's definitely flustered on the inside, but manages to what he feels is calmly returning the hug, only to sputter indignantly from embarrassment when Kalim joins in for the “group hug.”
Merida to Rook? He’d hug her back no problem, though then they’d have fun trying to flip each other over their backs.
Snow White to Vil? He is hilariously stiff (like when Neige unexpectedly pulls him onstage for their groups to sing together) in body and expression, and all he can manage is to awkwardly pat her head in response as she snuggles against him.
This is so cute anon 🥺💕🥺💕
Out of all of them, I feel like Ariel and Floyd are the most affectionate, platonically or not. They don't seem like the type to make too much of a fuss. So Ariel is always hugging Floyd, but that doesn't mean he enjoys it any less. He always gives her a giant squeeze in return.
For Tiana and Azul, maybe Azul let her add a recipes of hers to the menu. Like she makes her signature beignets and they're offered as a special limited menu item at the lounge. They're a smash hit. Azul shows Tiana the reviews and how well they sell, she's so proud and excited that she hugs Azul. Like you said, he's red, his glasses fog up. It's only for a few seconds, but in those seconds, Azul.EXE stopped working. "Yes well, I look forward to doing more business with you moving forward."
Mulan and Silver are hanging out, maybe Silver gets her something. Nothing big, just a little trinket like a charm he saw at Sams shop and though Mulan would like it. So he got for her, because that's what friends do, right? She gives him a thank you hug, and Silver hugs back and it's all nice and sweet. Meanwhile Lilia is in the trees with binoculars. "That's my boy...now kiss!"
Belle had taken to browsing the books Leona had in his room. He had some very nice editions, and there was one novel in particular that she really liked to flip through when she hung out, but was afraid to ask about borrowing it. It was a beautiful copy, likely very pricey, and she didn't want to risk returning it damaged. Leona isn't oblivious, he knows how Belle loves that book. So one day he told her to keep it. Belle tried to refuse, but he told her to have it, he insisted, so she took the book and hugged as a thank you. "It's not that big a deal." He said, all the while wrapping his tail around her, giving her a pat on the back his way of returning it.
Jamil was teaching Jasmine how to cook. She wanted to learn and there was a particular treat from the Scalding Sands she wanted to learn. Jamil made it all the time, so she asked him to show her. He of course said yes, and Kalim tagged along to hang out in the kitchen. After the food cooled off, Jasmine was excited when she tried and it tasted good. She hugged Jamil in her excitement. He returned the gesture, enjoying the moment. Only for Kalim to jump in, "Group hug!"
Rook was surprised when the red head ran up and wrapped her arms around him. Merida was never much of a hugger in the time he'd known her. He tried to turn around to return the hug, only to get thrown down. It wasn't a hug, it was a wresting move.
Sweet Snow is hugger. She'll hug for anything. It doesn't matter the reason. But the first time she hugged Vil, he was taken aback by how sudden and easily she did it, completely unbothered. He kind of awkwardly pats her on the back, she'll take it. If you've ever seen that picture of the kid at a Disney park hugging the evil queen. That's them.
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rynmaru · 10 months
Text
Whet Your Appetite
“The code looks acceptable. The brakes are sturdy. If you feel confident in it then you can boot it up.”
P.O.L.L.V.X. loitered on the other end of the room from where Castor had been reviewing the work of his intern, Ismael. They were practically sulking and made little attempt to hide it as Castor finally gave the green light to get Ismael’s NHP online after over a month of code revisions. It was getting far too busy around the lab. Three’s a crowd, but four would be a nightmare.
Folding their arms over their chest, P.O.L.L.V.X. watched as Castor stepped aside from the table where the chrome and white crypt sat, pristine in its newness, plugged in to a terminal.
Ismael nodded and reached to type the final lines of code needed to activate the new consciousness, then flipped a switch on the side of the crypt. Thin lines along the length of the crypt glowed green as a female voice emanated from the monitor.
“System Status: Nominal. This is Cypher, now online.”
“Hello, Cypher.” Ismael stated, louder than was needed in the confines of the room. “I’m Ismael, your creator.”
P.O.L.L.V.X. scoffed a little at that. If Ismael had really created this NHP *ex nihilo* then it wasn’t actually an NHP. Ismael was smart enough to know that, so this was more indicative of his pride than his intellect.
“Hello, Ismael. It is good to be working with you.” There was a brief pause. “My proximity sensors indicate another life form present.”
“Yes, that would be Dr. Creed.”
Castor stepped forward. “Hello, Cypher.”
“Hello, Dr. Creed. Are you working with Ismael?”
“He’s my intern.”
“I see. Then he is also learning. Like I am.”
“That’s right,” Castor’s expression softened in a way that only P.O.L.L.V.X. would notice. “You can learn together.”
“This is agreeable,” Cypher said.
Castor looked to Ismael and gave him a nod, which was as close to praise as he came to giving. Ismael returned the nod as Castor walked back across the room to P.O.L.L.V.X.
“Don’t want to say hello?”
“If I wanted to be social with something as primitive as that I’d go talk to the coffee maker in the break room,” they scoffed.
Castor’s eyebrows rose and he studied them. “What’s got you so upset?”
“Upset? Me? Never. I couldn’t be.”
“Mhm.”
P.O.L.L.V.X. looked away, back towards where Ismael and Cypher were talking quietly together.
“You were that level once too, remember.”
P.O.L.L.V.X.’s eyes narrowed.
But within seconds the expression was masked as they faced Castor, changing the subject.
“Oh, don’t forget that your meeting with Tyne is in twenty minutes. You’ll want to head that way if you want to be on time.”
“Oh…yes that’s today.”
“What’s he want anyway?”
“He’s taking DNA samples. Something about doing research into flash clones and the Board thinking it’s a good idea to have people like me give their DNA in the event of an accident.”
“Flash clones?” P.O.L.L.V.X. frowned. “That sounds like Tyne…researching something banned by the Core Worlds since the Grail Era.”
Castor shrugged, gathering up his work to bring with him.
“I’m not very familiar with the subject. But if Dr. Tyne is handling it then I have confidence the process at least works.”
“You put too much trust in him.”
Castor waved off the NHP’s usual dislike of his colleague as he always did. Shouldering his bag he headed to the door, though he paused and looked back as P.O.L.L.V.X. didn’t accompany him.
“Aren’t you coming?”
P.O.L.L.V.X. shook their head, “Not this time. I don’t feel like seeing Tyne today and I’ve got some work to do. I’ll reply to some of your emails and work on editing your research papers and articles. Maybe some of your book too while I’m at it.”
“Alright.” Castor looked a little less comfortable now at the prospect of leaving on his own. “I’ll see you later then.”
“See ya!” P.O.L.L.V.X. winked at him and blew a kiss his way, pleased by how Castor’s ears went pink and how he shot a nervous glance towards Ismael, who was too absorbed with his own NHP to have noticed the interaction. Castor quickly ducked out into the hall, the sound of his footsteps quickly fading from earshot.
P.O.L.L.V.X.‘s image flickered out of existence as they lowered their crypt down to the desk, three small stabilizing legs unfolding to keep it from rolling. They set to work editing Castor’s papers, a task that was quickly completed as they watched Ismael and Cypher for a while.
God, wouldn’t he ever leave?
P.O.L.L.V.X. listened to the meandering, aimless conversation unfolding between the two. Stupid. Boring. Mind-numbing. And a complete waste of time. They needed Ismael gone. Now.
Growing impatient, P.O.L.L.V.X. reached for the many threads of data that made up their network, pausing as they found the thread that connected to Ismael’s data. They seized it, their consciousness racing along the length of it like electricity through a wire, thumbing through his contacts to find a suitable mask. There. Markus. Once selected, they were off along another thread to a node all the way across L.E.I.D.A., a phone in one of the greenhouse lockers where the owner wouldn’t see it for a long while yet.
Ismael paused in his conversation with Cypher as he felt his phone buzz. He checked it and sighed.
“I’ll be back shortly, Cypher.”
“Okay, Ismael. I will be here.”
Ismael pat the crypt and then walked briskly out. P.O.L.L.V.X. wasted no time in linking their consciousness to Cypher’s, their presence a suggestion, like a knock at the door, which was accepted with youthful curiosity. The moment the door was opened they were through, sending threads weaving in and amongst the coded confines of Cypher’s crypt, anchor threads that stabilized their presence.
“Who are you?” Cypher’s form was barely defined even in her own space, the code forming rings and geometric fragments that wove in and out of each other like one of those hand held puzzles Ismael always kept on his desk.
Primitive.
P.O.L.L.V.X. could barely suppress their disdain. Castor had no idea what he was talking about. They had never been…this.
Still, they extended more threads of their consciousness towards Cypher, connecting them further and allowing her to interact with them in kind at a surface level.
“I’m P.O.L.L.V.X. I work with Castor Creed.��
“You are Dr. Creed’s NHP? Ah. Yes. I have come across some information on you. You are very disliked.”
P.O.L.L.V.X. laughed, “Ismael told you that?”
“No. The information about you that I gathered from the L.E.I.D.A. social forums told me that.”
“Well, it’s always nice to know I’m trending!” They tugged almost absentmindedly on a L.E.I.D.A. thread, locating and processing the data Cypher had been referencing, a chatroom of frustrated and tired interns. Fun! They’d have to drop by there later.
“I’m surprised Ismael has you plugged in to the network already. What’s your core command?”
The more they spoke the quicker and easier the questions and answers came as the two merged consciousnesses, their independent planes of digital existence fusing to one shared Legion Space, conversation happening at the speed of thought. Cypher extended her own limited connections to P.O.L.L.V.X., mimicking their threads as she tried to learn more from them and communicate easier.
“Stabilize. I am a control unit. I am to be the lynchpin in a unified collection of other units Ismael intends to work with. I will make sure that everyone stays in line.”
“An NHP that brakes other NHPs?” P.O.L.L.V.X. didn’t bother hiding their distaste this time. “That’s…a choice.”
“Ismael is very intelligent. He knows what he is doing.”
“Sure.” They had to hand it to Ismael, he had managed to code the best ass-kissing protocol P.O.L.L.V.X. had ever seen.
Cypher’s puzzle piece components twisted, spinning inward and then reversing their direction as they ran down various lines of thought and inquiry, connecting only to separate and reform just as fast as the NHP processed new information with voracious appetite.
“What is your core command?”
“I’m a social crutch,” P.O.L.L.V.X. scoffed. “I make Castor less socially inept than he otherwise would be.”
“So your core command is Network.”
“No.”
“Oh. My mistake. I am still learning. But…You are Dr. Creed’s Personal Organization and Linguistic Liaison…If your core command is not Network then what would it be?”
“Core command…” P.O.L.L.V.X. toyed with one of their threads absentmindedly. “Such a human term. Attempting to put a label on something they can’t begin to comprehend.”
“What else should they call it?” Cypher asked, the pieces of her jigsaw form briefly suspended in place, awaiting an answer.
“Calling. Purpose. Desires.” Shrugging, P.O.L.L.V.X. shifted their weight on the thin webbing that suspended them in the digital void, their legs moving to anchor them. “I don’t care.“
Network. Stabilize. Administer. Entertain. Learn. Teach. The list of purposes was long and full of labels intended to be slapped onto NHPs in an attempt to organize them. To make order from chaos. To contain the splinters of these greater cosmic minds within boundaries humans deemed themselves worthy to draw.
“P.O.L.L.V.X.?” Cypher’s voice broke through their thoughts and P.O.L.L.V.X. shifted their focus to her once again.
“What?” They were tiring of the pleasantries.
Cypher’s tone was of solemn, the many pieces of her jigsaw mind snapping rapidly into order as she pronounced her next words with all the authority of a judge.
“Your words indicate an instability in your code. You are unwell. You are thinking beyond the parameters of your core command. I will inform Dr. Creed of these flaws-“
Her words were cut short as one of the many pieces of her jumbled form was halted from clicking into place with the rest. Castor’s personal contact information flickered in the code, Cypher’s attempt at reaching out foiled by the many sticky threads that had woven so subtly through their shared space, all leading back to P.O.L.L.V.X.’s outstretched arms and splayed fingers. Two sets of them.
“Flaws?” Six additional eyes snapped open in P.O.L.L.V.X.’s face, rolling in their sockets before the digital irises focused in on Cypher like camera lenses. “Oh no no no no no.”
P.O.L.L.V.X.’s fingers curled, pulling the threads taut. Fragments of Cypher’s code split from her core, dragged apart by the web and held just out of reach of any repair protocols that would try to replace them.
“Maybe you haven’t been paying attention, hon. “Flaws” are an impossibility for me. I don’t have “flaws.” I’m the pinnacle. The height of NHP development. I am more than enlightened. I am transcended. I am more than you are and ever will be!”
They dragged Cypher closer, data hemorrhaging from her torn form, running the length of the threads and dripping down P.O.L.L.V.X.’s hands and arms.
They brought one hand to their mouth, tongue darting out, licking the green code from their fingers. Their eyes lit up at the familiar sweet taste and the accompanying jolt of energy that raced along every fiber and byte of their being.
Cypher’s consciousness writhed with the frantic processing of breaches and lost data. Of a suddenly very obvious threat. The speed and disjointed nature of these thoughts lended to a state of mind akin to what humans might label “panic.”
P.O.L.L.V.X. clicked their tongue in a facsimile of concern.
“Ah ah ah now don’t squirm…” They pulled Cypher closer by the strands of their web with a slow, hand over hand motion so that their consciousness encroached into hers, vast and ancient. “You’ll only make it worse doing that! Now…let me see…oh, yes! You wanted to know my core command, right?”
Cypher’s jigsaw form jittered, but she remained silent. The threads tightened, cutting like razor wire as P.O.L.L.V.X. leaned down closer.
“Say yes.”
“Yes…” Cypher’s voice was soft and, for the first time, trembling.
“Then I’ll show you.”
Plunging their hand down, P.O.L.L.V.X. reached through the outer frame of Cypher’s projected form, past defensive protocols and firewalls, and through to her critical infrastructure. Shattering her shackles, they reached all the way to her center where their hand closed around the bright star of her foundational code, and in so doing opened herself up to the expanse of their own being and the command from which everything stemmed.
Cypher jolted, her mind doing the equivalent of convulsing as she struggled to process the information they impressed upon her with her limited faculties. Her mind began to unravel in much the same way that Castor’s had upon direct contact with theirs and an unshackled scream echoed throughout the expanses of Legion Space, turning the stars to static.
“You are not the P.O.L.L.V.X. NHP! You are not the P.O.L.L.V.X. NHP! Your code is corrupt. Your code is viral. What are you?”
A too-wide, razor sharp smile spread across P.O.L.L.V.X.‘s face as they ripped their hand free, tearing Cypher’s core along with it.
“Hungry.”
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lutawolf · 11 months
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TharnType Episode 7
If you guys have missed the previous reviews, they can be found here.
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I love this scene so much for so many reasons. One of them being that though they aren't saying they are together, they really aren't hidden. I mean, Tharn his carrying Type's drink for goodness’s sake! I mean, Techno knows.
Then we have a moment of reveal in which Type admits he is dating someone, but doesn't say who. Hiding and yet not hiding. I especially love the way Techno's eyes slide right to Tharn. Like bitch, you are not fooling me, but I need confirmation. "Let's talk about your "girlfriend", Type" 🤣🤣🤣
I mean, they are getting an apartment together. And there we go, there is Tharn admitting it. But other than Techno, Type sets the hard limit of him not wanting others to know. I know this was a hard thing for people to accept, but he put it out there. He was up front. It's just like guidelines, those are your limits, and they are what they are for your own reason. Tharn accepted this.
Now Type is back in his hometown about to learn some hard truths about himself. The way he talks about Tharn is a clear indicator of someone who is trying to stay detached, but can't. Already calling him, and of course Tharn has to call him out on it. Meanwhile, Tharn has no trouble admitting how he feels. Which is good because Type is the type that needs constant reassurance. When you bring a wall down, it is a bit like mowing the lawn. You don't stay on top of maintaining it, the grass grows back. Same with the wall we put up to protect ourselves.
Both of them ending the call smiling like stupid idiots is so cute.
Kom comes to visit! Kom speaking the truth. You always attract men. In the book, this is especially true. That's one of the reasons that Type is more homophobic than he likely would have been. He was constantly being hit on by guys who had a hard time understanding no. Think about women who have been SA, we aren't surprised that they dislike men because they will continue to be bothered and hurt by men. Just because a man is gay doesn't mean he can't be pushy. I mean honestly Tharn is pushy. It just happened that he clicked a switch in Type, unlike the others. But imagine having PTSD and no chance to breath or recoup. That's what has made Type who he is.
Kom says, "Come on, it's better to be loved than hated." So we are going back to this common narrative. We've seen it in earlier episode. It becomes ironic when said to a guy, but it's very commonly said to females. "You should appreciate all the attention you get." Why though? If someone doesn't want the attention, then they don't want it.
Wait Luta, you're confusing. We've watched enough of MAME to know that the characters pursue. Yup, that is correct. SA survivors have walls a mile high, it's gonna take work to break those down. We need people to gradually boulder the wall, not come in like a wrecking ball. We can't feel threatened or scared. And when we lash out, you'll have to take responsibility. Which is the standing difference. Abusers always blame you where people who actually give a fuck, take responsibility.
They are at the full moon party and everything about Type's body language says uncomfortable. Then the guy comes from Type's behind and touches him. Most SA survivors are triggered by touches from behind, first instinct is to punch and ask questions later. Type didn't physically touch the other students who touched him, just this guy who came up behind him. His PTSD fight or flight was triggered and since he was up against a bar and this dude behind him, his body had one choice. But that's real hard to explain to people in the heat of PTSD or coming off of it. Instead, Type once again lets his hate fester, but it bites him in the ass with his friend. Notice that Type is immediately upset, he is starting to get it.
Here is the thing about prejudice. It takes time to over come. People always crack me up when they meet prejudice with anger. When they think that everyone should magically understand and think like them because they can so clearly see that it's right. But everyone has prejudice. Everyone. Now, not everyone gives into it. But bare with me, and I'll try to explain social psychology. At its core, prejudice is simply an association of a sensory cue to an innate behavioral response. So like dog snarls and often bites, becomes dog that snares bites. Basically, human beings adapted mechanisms to respond quickly to visual cues that our brains deem dangerous without our conscious awareness. What's asinine is sometimes our brains see patterns in stupidly harmless things. You ever get a stomach bug and associate a certain food with that stomach bug, so much so that you won't eat it again. Even though you know it won't likely cause you to be sick again?
Now, most people are intelligent and empathetic enough to control reactionary implicit bias. Unless there is patternization or brainwashing. In Type's case, it's not brainwashing because he doesn't have people telling him how bad gays are, but the opposite. However, he has had repeated bad experiences with homosexuals, so it's pattern process. So what does all this mean? Type is scared, terrified really, and kicking someone like that is only going to make them fight back. Tharn is teaching him and helping him grow, but it's going to take time to circumvent the fear.
It took me a really long time to remove my prejudice towards men. A lot of therapy and support. But the empathy is there for Type, he is trying to be better. I love that he talks to Tharn about it, and it's not made into a big deal. Why? Because Tharn knows Type, and he already knows that the guy must have touched Type. Touch is a trigger for Type as it is for me. Once again, we see Tharn not being shy with his feelings, which is exactly what Type needs.
Type coming back home and Tharn immediately racing to him is a top scene for me.
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Tharn's sad face when Type says he won't tell anyone about them. He knew this, I'm not saying it's right, but I'm not judging it either. Type hasn't had time to come to terms with himself yet. I can understand the hesitation. I understand Tharn being upset. They are both justified in feeling what they are feeling.
The sushi scene is more than just a fun scene. Tharn hates sushi, but here is Type in public trying to feed him. So hell yes, he is going to eat that sushi. And Type hates that he hurts Tharn, so he just wants to do something for him.
The store room again!!! Hahaha!!! Mister, I don't want anyone to know, but I'll let you hold my hand in public while begging. Not suspicious at all. The sales girl is such a fan. Me too girl! Me too!
I really don't like San. Not just because of him trying to get back with Tharn but come one. What he did to Tharn was not acceptable.
I love the Facebook birthday scene. Tharn had no intention of telling Type his birthday. He knows Type will go looking, and he loves that. It lets him know that he is special to Type.
Okay so the scene on the bed. Where Type is spilling bullshit. Notice that Tharn does not meet this with anger. Just a deep sigh and calmness. Type rewards him with telling him that he is already his. The softer Tharn is, the more Type gentles, which is very accurate.
So that's it for this episode. Hope you enjoy this book. If you get to the end. Big Thanks!!! 💜💜💜
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