#as for the birds and the bees you'll read about in chapter 2 baby hehe | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ficsforeren · 2 years

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What about Irene’s first boyfriend and her first break up… OMG what about teaching the kids about the birds and the bees? XD

oh noooo irene's first break up would be dad eren trying to cheer her up by stuffing her mouth with her favorite chocolate brand, cuddling her close as they watch Hachiko together so she can cry it out, while also constantly trash-talking her ex like "that guy doesn't deserve you and you know why? cause you're a fucking princess and he's a fucking asshole. and you know what we do to assholes? we fuck them up. I'm gonna murder him later, baby, you just stay looking pretty as always okay?"

"dad, mom told you not to swear."

"mom doesn't have to know sssshhh" and he'll hug her like

with irene feeling so uncomfortable cause "dad, i'm sixteen"

"ssssh, you're my pretty little baby. never aged a day, always be my baby."

"gross. also, please don't murder my ex."

"if my baby says so." and he'll kiss her forehead as he says the words but the second he's out of her room, he's like, grabbing his baseball bat and like "right, time to fuck some shit up"

#send prayers to irene's ex #he needs it #no one fucks with eren's baby okay NO ONE #as for the birds and the bees you'll read about in chapter 2 baby hehe #in another life canon #kana answers stuff

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