Now, Coach Darnell just wanted a fun little hiking trip for the school. Give the kids some exercise, let the parents be involved. It's free, they get to be in nature, and it's a perfectly lovely laid-back afternoon. Unfortunately for him, the entire Close-Foster-Freeman-Swift-Stephen-Stampler-Marlowe-Swallows-Oak-Garcia-Wilson-Actually-Likely-dear-god-how-many-last-names-do-these-people-have family decided to chaperone.
Henry: We should go to [fairly far away trail] it's a prefect one for the kids
Carol: How are we going to get there though? The school doesn't have enough minibuses
Darryl: Well, Odessey-san could probably fit about a class and some parents and teachers
Mercedes: And the journey is less than an hour so we can use our no-emission fuel source
Glenn: Guess that means I'm riding with you guys, huh
Darnell, who only knows the Odessey as Darryl's rundown car the kiddads got kidnapped in that one time: Hold on, are you seriously suggesting that we try and fit 30+ people into a 30-something year old minivan that runs on a weird fuel source that you never name and has to be changed every hour, that for some reason only Glenn use?
TJ, completely missing the multiple problems: ... she's bigger on the inside
TJ: She can fit a class
Sparrow will not stop picking up squirrels. No one knows how he's even able to get that close to them or why they don't freak out when he picks them up (the answer is druid powers). There's a picture of him holding twenty and surrounded by more on the school's socials.
Grant: This hike will be a great opportunity to spend time with Lincoln's new friends and see what they're like
*Sees Link with a terrifying goth girl who acts just like Terry Jr as a teen (including hating her new stepdad), a weeb who has the exact same vocal mannerisms as Glenn and cool guy energy as Nicky, and clearly Normal Oak*
Grant: You know what, never mind, maybe we should go back to homeschooling him
(Grant: *he's just like me fr meme /negative*)
Darnell: I don't want a repeat of soccer camp '22, Terry Jr
TJ: I did absolutely nothing wrong
Darnell: You stuck Lark on top of the flat mast saying, and I quote, "Naughty children go on the pole"
TJ: And it got him to stop setting fire to the goal posts, didn't it?
Every single one of the s1 parents made homemade snacks. Every. Single. One.
Henry, ranting about nature and rocks: and you know the chasm we're walking by is actually made by a waterfall slowly eroding its own overhang and slowly moving backwards along the valley
Darryl: Henry, we do this trail once a month and you mention this every single time. I did take high school geography. I know how oxbow lakes are formed
Glenn in the background: the chasm we're walking by is also where I fucked your mom WOO
Samantha: I'm pretty sure Autumn was more likely to make love here with Ronnie than you, Glenn
Glenn: Damn, Sam, still bringing out the decade-old burns
At one point, Nicky hurts his ankle (plus his asthma is acting up) so Terry just starts giving him a piggy back unprompted.
Lark: Hey Teej, can you carry me as well for a bit
TJ: no <3
Nicky absolutely did not need to be carried the entire rest of the trail, but what was he supposed to do? Tell Terry to put him down? Obviously not an option
(Terry also could easily have carried Lark too, he was just being petty. He also knew he could have stopped carrying Nicky after like, 10 minutes, but hey, Nicky wasn’t complaining, and maybe he liked being able to be this close to him again, sue him)
They go to a milkshake diner place after the hike (which has vegan options to appease the Swallows-Oak-Garcias). Glenn and Morgan get those couples straws and you know this meme?
They both do the thing in the bottom picture, but they share the glasses that they put the bottom end of the straws into so it still ends up looking like the top picture. Alternatively, they only share one glass, and the other straw is in an individual glass. Which of course means they get into a whole Freddie-esque tangent/rant about why the middle glass needs to be twice as big because it's being consumed at double the rate of the other two
Jodie is not jealous at all as he watches this. Nope. Nuh-uh.
Scam and Mark somehow snuck onto the trip. No one knows how. Terry spends the entire diner celebration shooting the paper coverings that come with straws at takeout places at Mark because he still hasn't forgiven her for upsetting Ron
Poor Darnell just has to keep dealing with this weird-ass blend of 4, maybe 5, different families that just keep on happening. Unfortunate downsides of being Carol’s best friend
26 notes
·
View notes