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#arthurshelby
shelbystales · 7 months
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Stay - One Shot
Tommy Shelby x Reader - Masterlist
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Word count: 4532
Requested by: @morrigan-crowmwell
Summary: Tommy realizes that despite him trying to avoid it, he loves and needs you.
Warning: angst, fluff and rough smut with dirty talk?
A/N: This was inspired by a brazilian song called "evidências", as requesteted. I hope you like it😘 .
English is my second language so I apologize in advance for the grammar mistakes
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He entered forcefully, pushing the door of your room open like a hurricane.
"Stop it," he ordered, pointing his finger at you.
You glanced at him, but your hands kept busy, packing your bags, shoving clothes into a bag that was clearly struggling to fit even half your dresses.
"I told you to stop," he said, approaching you and closing shut the door of your small wardrobe.
"Make me," you said irritably, trying to force the door open, but his hand on top of it prevented the process.
You rolled your eyes and carried on, your determined hands struggling with the stubborn zipper. You tried to wrestle the wardrobe open once again, a frown deepening on your face, but just as before, his hand on it prevented your success.
You sighed loudly, grabbing your bag from the bed and headed toward the door, ready to leave the scene.
He grabs your wrist firmly, preventing you from reaching the door, stopping you from leaving.
"Let me go!" you shout and struggle against his grip, but he doesn't let go of your wrist. His gaze seemed disturbed like he was out of himself. "Are you drunk?" you ask, pulling your hand, hating the fact that he's stronger than you.
"Why are you doing this?" he asks, and you clearly notice the knot in his throat.
"Tommy, you're hurting me," you say as the strength of his grip on your wrist becomes stronger.
"You can't do this. You can’t leave me" he says.
"Why do you care?" you ask angrily, pulling your wrist as you feel he loosened his grip on it and took a step back.
His chest rises and falls rapidly, his eyes locked onto yours with a mixture of frustration and desperation. He runs his fingers through his hair, a sign of his internal struggle.
“Tommy, what the fuck? You can't just barge in like this and do this” you said angrily
he swallowed harshly and looked around the room, the same room he had been with you many many nights before. The same room where he sleep nestled against your neck, smelling your scent to prevent his fucking nightmares. The same room he told you he couldn’t be with you, that he didn't want to be with you. The same room he broke your fucking heart. 
“It’s not fair,” you added, letting go of your bag to fall loudly to the floor. 
“Fair?” he chuckled “life isn’t fair” he said frustrated. 
His response only fueled your anger.
It felt like he was dismissing your feelings, brushing them aside with his cynicism. You crossed your arms over your chest, glaring at him with a mixture of irritation and hurt.
"Life isn't fair? Is that all you have?" you shot back, your voice dripping with sarcasm.
Tommy clenched his jaw, his fists curling at his sides. His eyes held a storm of conflicting emotions – regret, anger, and an undeniable pain that seemed to cut through his tough exterior.
"It's not like that, ey" he said, his voice strained. "I never wanted any of this to happen."
"Oh, so it's not your fault then?" you retorted, your tone dripping with bitterness “you stood right there” you pointed at one side of the room “and you told me you couldn’t fucking love me anymore! Like, what the fuck! Poor misunderstood Tommy Shelby… you wanted me to beg? to do what?! To run after you like a fucking dog. To beg for your love. Was that it? Tell me, what did you want?”, you couldn't restrain the anger in your voice
He winced, as if your words were a physical blow. You could see the pain in his eyes, a flicker of regret that he was desperately trying to hide. But it was too late for that – the dam had broken, and the flood of pent-up emotions was pouring out
“That’s because I love you” he said, making you laugh in disbelief 
“Fuck you!” you barked at him
“When I said i didn’t want you anymore, thats because I still fucking do” he spat out.
“What? Are you bloody high?” you shook your head 
He seemed to search inside for the right words. It was clear he was struggling.
“I can't let you leave” he stated
“Its not up to you” you answered coldly
“I will blow every road out of this damn city if I have to, drown every boat. But you are not leaving, eh” he warned, his finger raised, pointing at you as a warning sign
“I hate you so much right now” you whispered, your words seeming to have an effect on him. He breathed deeply and looked at the ceiling of your room
"Look, I know I messed up," he admitted, his voice quieter now.
"You damn right you did," you said, your anger still burning hot.
His frustration crackled in the air like an electric current. Everything was spiraling out of control, slipping through his fingers like grains of sand. He watched as you challenged him, your voice a mix of irritation and hurt. It was a pain he was intimately familiar with, one he had tried to distance himself from.
He knew he was the architect of his own misery. The moment he let himself care, truly care for you, he had opened the door to chaos. His heart, so carefully guarded, now laid exposed and vulnerable.
He took a step closer to you, his gaze intense, burning with a mixture of what you assumed to be anger and fear.
His heart raced in his chest, each beat a reminder of what he stood to lose. He wanted to grab you, to shake some sense into you, to break down the walls he had built between you.
But his hand remained at his side, clenched into a fist. He could feel the heat of his anger pulsating through him, but it was masked by an even greater terror - the terror of losing you.
"You think I wanted this?" he finally spat out, his voice raw. "You think I wanted to hurt you?"
You didn't answer, your eyes locked onto his, a mixture of defiance and something deeper.
He ran a hand through his hair, the usually impeccable locks now disheveled, mirroring the chaos inside him. Every step he took seemed to carry the weight of his uncertainty, his fear of losing something he hadn't realized he'd grown so dependent on.
"This is bloody ridiculous. I can't do this, alright? I can't bloody bear the thought of you walking away," he muttered to himself, his voice taut with frustration.
His gaze flickered to the door, as if half-expecting you to disappear beyond it any second. The very idea seemed to send a jolt of panic through him.
"You drive me mad!" he said, his voice rising in agitation.
His chest rose and fell rapidly, his breathing uneven as his gaze darted around the room, searching for some form of escape from the vulnerability clawing at him.
"I've denied it, tried to pretend I didn't need you, that I could bloody well do without you," he admitted, "but I need you," he practically spat out, the words almost foreign on his tongue. "More than I care to fucking admit. You're under me skin, in me bloody bones, and I'm terrified of what that means. I’ve tried but I can't fool me heart, I can't keep lying to meself” 
His voice cracked, the dam of his emotions threatening to break completely.
The room felt stifling, a cage that held him captive with his own fears. Tears welled up in your eyes, the battle between your anger and your love for him raging within you. You took a shaky breath, your own vulnerability exposed.
"You can't leave," he said, his voice low but laced with a desperation that belied his usual composure. "I won't let you. I can't." His admission hung in the air, raw and unfiltered.
Tommy's agitation reached a fever pitch, his body tense, his eyes wide with a mix of anger, fear, and something deeper that he struggled to name.
He couldn't let you go – not now, not ever. The very idea of you slipping through his fingers was enough to shatter his carefully constructed world.
You stared back at him, the weight of his words sinking in.
A mixture of anger and hurt still lingered within you, the wounds of his past actions still fresh. But now, in this charged moment, you could see that he was baring his soul to you.
You didn’t know what to do, what to say. part of you wanted to shout at him, to slap him to push him to the floor and kick his guts… but at the same time, part of you wanted to run to his arms, to kiss him, hold him strongly… truthfully, Your heart ached as you watched him struggle
You stepped forward, closing the distance between you. His eyes followed your movement, a mix of anticipation and apprehension in his gaze.
Your hand reached out, your fingers gently uncurling his clenched fist, the gesture a silent reassurance.
"I can't lose you," he choked out, his voice a mere whisper, his eyes searching yours for some form of understanding.
"I don't want to leave," you admitted softly, your voice breaking “but… you can't just come in here and say all of that after causing me so much pain. The past won't just disappear, Tommy. You can't just expect me to forget everything and come running back."
He shook his head, his hand shifting to cup your cheek, his touch warm against your skin. "I'm not asking you to forget," he said, his voice gentle but urgent. "I'm asking for a chance. A chance to make things right, eh? to show you how much you mean to me. I know I fucked up. But I need you, I need your lips on mine." His thumb gently brushed over your bottom lip. "I’ll give you my life, you can do whatever you want with it. I just want to hear you say yes, that you'll give me a chance to fix it. To fix us."
You closed your eyes, leaning into his touch, torn between the memories of pain and the yearning for something more.
His thumb brushed away a tear that had escaped your eye, his touch sending shivers down your spine.
"Tommy… I…," you whispered, losing your words. 
His gaze bore into yours, his thumb now tracing a path from your cheek to your lips, a feather-light touch that ignited a spark within you. His eyes were filled with a mixture of sincerity and vulnerability, a stark contrast to the tough exterior he often presented to the world.
"Say you'll give us a chance," he murmured, his words hanging in the air like a fragile plea.
His hands still cupped your face, his touch warm against your skin. His eyes danced between your lips and your eyes, a silent request for permission.
Your heart hammered in your chest, the battle between your head and your heart reaching its peak.
His touch, his words, they were like a balm to your wounded soul. And in that moment, you found yourself leaning in, your lips just a breath away from his.
"Tommy," you whispered, your voice trembling, "I want to believe you."
His eyes held yours, a mixture of relief and longing in his gaze. Slowly, almost hesitantly, his lips brushed against yours in a soft, hesitant kiss.
The kiss was short and when his eyes locked on yours again. his hand cradled your cheek, his thumb tracing light patterns on your skin as if he didn't want to let go.
You took a deep breath, embracing your own vulnerability. "Tommy, I…I can't go through the same pain again. I won’t forgive you again"
“You won’t need to” he reaffirmed, his voice unwavering. His thumb kept brushing your cheek.
You nodded slowly, feeling a mix of apprehension and hope you gave him a small smile, trying to give him some comfort. As response, his arms wrapped around you, pulling you close in a tight embrace, His heartbeat thudded against you. 
It was like a weight lifted off both your shoulders, replaced by a warm sense of security. You leaned into him, resting your head on his chest.
His fingers played with your hair, his touch gentle and soothing.
There, in his arms, you allowed yourself to believe in the possibility of healing.
He pressed a soft kiss on the top of your head and breathed deeply your scent, a scent that soothed him as a reminder of home.
“I love you” he whispered in your ears
“Fuck… I love you too” you said holding stronger onto him.
He pulled even estronger, his arms pressed strongly against you as if he was afraid you would slip away
As his arms held you close, his aftershave and Cologne mixture scent mingled with the warmth of his skin, enveloping your senses in a heady combination. Your fingers traced the contours of his chest, feeling the texture of his skin under your touch.
His fingers, which had been tracing patterns on your back, now ventured lower, roaming over your ass, his touch light and teasing.
His lips brushed against your forehead, a soft and lingering kiss that held a promise of more.
Your breath hitched as his fingers trailed along your spine, sending a trail of tingling sensations.
You tilted your head up to meet his gaze, your eyes locking onto his with a mixture of anticipation and a touch of apprehension.
"Tommy," you murmured, your voice barely audible, but laden with unspoken desire.
He swallowed audibly, his eyes darkening with a hunger that mirrored your own. His fingers moved from your back to gently lift your chin, tilting your face up towards his and then his lips were on yours, a kiss that ignited a fire within you.
His lips moved against yours with a fervent passion, his hands sliding down to the small of your back, pulling you impossibly closer.
Your fingers found their way to the back of his neck, tangling in his hair as you responded to his kiss with equal fervor.
His lips trailed from your mouth to your jaw, then down to the curve of your neck, placing soft kisses along the way. Your breath hitched as his teeth grazed your skin, sending a jolt of sensation straight to your core. Every touch, every brush of his lips, was a delicious torment that fueled the growing heat between you.
"Fuck, I've missed you," he breathed against your skin, his voice husky with desire.
The confession sent a shiver down your spine, the intensity of his words adding fuel to the fire burning within you. Your fingers moved to the buttons of his shirt, undoing them with a sense of urgency. His hands mirrored your actions, working together, desperately to rid each other of the barriers that separated your bodies.
As the last button came undone, his shirt, suit and gunholster slipped from his shoulders, revealing his bare chest.
Your fingertips traced the lines of his tattoos, feeling the rise and fall of his chest with each ragged breath.
Your dress was eventually discarded to the floor along with his clothes. You felt so desperate for him, both almost ripping each other's clothes off like animals.
Leaning against the wall across him there was a full-body-length mirror giving him a perfect vision of your ass, and back as he moved his kisses around your neck and shoulders.
He put a hand on your ass and caressed it softly before drawing his hand back and spanking it hard. The slap was sharp and loud in the small bedroom and it mixed with your moan. You dug your nails on his back.
“You're so fucking hot,” he said, noticing the skin of your ass becoming pinkish forming his handprint, moving to the other cheek, he squeezed it once, before slapping it just as hard.
He didn’t lose time, his lips met yours, sliding desperately.
Your fingers tangled in his hair, pulling him closer, deepening the kiss as if trying to express all the longing you had held back. The taste of him, the pressure of his lips moving against yours, were like fuel.
With a swift and confident movement, he scooped you up in his arms. You instinctively wrapped your legs around his lower back as he carried you effortlessly towards the bed, where he gently placed you against the sheets. His lips never leaving yours.
He pinning you to the bed, kissing you with even more passion as he pressed his aching dick into your body through fhe fabric of his pants and briefs.
With your arms pinned against the bed, he started kissing your neck and kissing his way down to your breasts, and began to circle one of your nipples with his tongue.
“oh, Tommy. Fuck” you moaned as he closed his lips around one of your nipples, sucking it firmly.
He kissed your collar bone and moved to your earlobe, biting it playfully. 
“Tell me how bad do you want it” he whispered, his voice hoarse
“I want it so fucking bad. Fuck, i need it” you moaned
Tommy slid his pants off as if his life depended on it, his briefs slipping off along with it.
He flipped your body so that your stomach was pressing against the mattress. A movement that he did so effortlessly. Giving him the perfect view of your ass, which, according to him, was the most beautiful part of your body. 
He took his hand and gave your ass another firm slap, before firmly grabbing both yout asscheeks and spreading them apart. 
“So fucking beautifull” he praised. 
he leaned over you, his face now close to yours, where he left a few kisses on your cheek. his mouth right next to your ear again, just because he knew that turned you on. 
“I going to fuck you real good, ey” he said, his hands sliding between your legs, a finger sliding inside of you.
“Please” you moaned, spreading your legs a bit more apart
He stood back up, so that he could rub his dick against your asscheeks a few times before positioning it against your wet folds, leaning slightly, applying more and more pressure as he adjusted his posture before completely sliding inside of you. 
“Fuck, yes” you moaned as you felt him  inside of you. 
He reached one of his hands to hold at your shoulders, while the other reached one of your arms, pulling it to your back, holding you firmly as he started pounding nice and hard against you.
With every stroke you felt him deeper, moans left your lips involuntarily. His name eventually mixed with the sensual sounds leaving your lips, making Tommy wish you’d never stop. Every moan serving as a fuel for his hard thrusts to get harder and deeper
“Fuck, fuck… Tommy. Oh fuck” you moaned and felt the same strong slap on your left asscheek, then on your right “yes! just like that” you told him
Everytime your perfectly red ass pressed against his hip bones his mind took mental pictures, he would be daydreaming about you like this for the next few days. This, you… was exactly what he needed. The only one he needed. 
“You like it, hm?” he asked breathlessly as he slapped your ass one more time
“Yes, yes I do” you told him, biting your lower lip. 
“Fuck you feel so good” he let his head fall back, momentarily taking his eyes off you. “Tell me, y/n. Tell me you love it”
“I love it Tommy. God, I love your fucking cock so so much. Fuck just like that” your words spit out so quickly, desperate for him not to stop.
He held at your hips pulling them against him everytime he thrusted, making the movement rougher by the minute. 
You were feeling so overwhelmed by the feeling of him deep inside you that the orgasm that washed over you was inevitable. It wasn't common but vaginal orgasms happened once in a while with you, making you impressed everytime it did. 
“Fuck! I coming, i’m coming” you told him, as the orgasm washed over you, your face buried on the duvets
Without letting you recover from it, he pulled out and rolled you over to your back, your tits now reaching up, hard for him. He leaned over to kiss one of them as he pinched the other one hard.
“Fuck!” you cried at the feeling 
He then laid beside you, pulling your hips to him as he did “Get up here and sit on me”, he said and you slowly stumbled upwards to mount him. 
Your head spinning slightly, out of breath as you were still feeling the effects of pleasure course through your veins. As you got on top of him you held his cock, stroking it a few times before directing it to your entrance and slowly lowering your hip, sliding his cock back inside of you, where it belonged. 
“Fuck yes, ride that cock, real nice” he said as your hips moved back and forward. Tommys eyes were a combination of lust and admiration as he looked up to your bouncing tits and moaning lips. 
Both your moans filled the room and you could feel his body shake slight from the pleasure building up at every hip movement. He reached to hold both your nipples, pinching and twisting them, making the pleasure harder to handle as your legs started to feel weaker. 
Tommy leaned upwards pushing your hips against him, dictating the intensity of the moves as he was now working with you, his hips moving up, as yours pressed down on his. 
“Fuck, i’m getting close” He muttered 
“Me too, oh god. me too” you told him and took your fingers to start caressing your clit as you continued the movements, feeling the knot in your stomach starting to grow stronger. 
“Yeah, Just like that, ride that, fucking, cock” he said pausing between words everytime his hips pressed up. 
His grip tighter on your hips, his eyes fucking you as the most lustfull moan escaped his lips, his primal instincs taking over as he moved up, throwing your back against the bed as he started to fuck you faster and harder than ever before. His grunts, getting deeper and louder. 
“Fuck! Don’t stop, don't stop! Fuuuck” You cried surprised at the new feeling. Your nails digging at whatever piece of flesh of his you could grab hold, scratching his skin. 
You were already so close and his attack just made everything more intense, the knot that was forming before, was already strong and ready to explode. But for some reason it didn't, it just kept growing and growing.
“Fuck, your pussy feels so fucking good” he told you out of breath, his atack on your nipples returning as one of his hands pinchend and twisted them. 
All you could do at this point was moan the words fuck repeatedly, your body starting to shiver. Your moans were turning him on so hard you knew he wouldn't last longer.
“Fuck, so close, so close. Don’t stop” you warned him,seconds before your body freezing as the best orgasm washed over you, your head spinning, a burning feeling washed over around your entire body as your skin felt hotter.
The sexiest moans leaving your lips followed by Tommys name, and that combined with your shivering state, was enough to push him over the edge. He couldn't hold anymore, a primal grunt escaped his lips and his moves got uncoordinated as he emptied himself inside of you, coming so hard he thought he would pass out, his vision getting blurred. After a few more strokes, he allowed himself to collapse on the bed beside you. 
"Holy shit," he whispered, his voice still tinged with disbelief and desire as he caught his breath.
The room was silent now, just the sound of your labored breathing filling it as you both recovered. Your labored breaths began to synchronize, creating a rhythm that seemed to echo the connection between you. 
Tommy's fingers brushed against your skin, as he moved to kiss your neck and collarbone. His touch, now gentle and caring.
His hand cupped your face, his fingers caressing your hair as he gazed into your eyes. You smiled at him and he smiled back, a small smile, but a huge one for a man like him.
“That was something” your voice laced with a mixture of amazement and satisfaction.
His chuckle resonated in the room, a sound that felt like a secret shared between the two of you, since not many would ever hear the sound of a Tommy’s Shelby chuckle
“Yes it was… Want a cigarette?” he asked and you nodded, watching him stand up and grab his overcoat, searching for his pack of cigarettes. 
He found his pack and lit one cigarette. The sight of him, half hard as he slid the cigarette over his lips before lighting it felt like the sexiest thing you’ve seen. The flicker of the cigarette illuminated his features in the dim light, casting shadows that danced across his face.
Slowly, he began to approach you, his eyes fixed on yours. He held your chin gently, making you sit, his fingers warm against your skin, as he took a drag from the cigarette. The smoke curled between his lips before he leaned in, exhaling the smoke into your mouth. The act was surprisingly intimate, making your core tinkle. 
He took another drag from the cigarette, his eyes never leaving yours as he sat beside you. The air seemed charged with electricity as he exhaled, the smoke curling around you both like a fragile veil. Without breaking eye contact, he leaned closer, his lips a whisper away from yours.
"You're something else, you know that?" he murmured, his voice husky with a mixture of arousal and admiration as he held your face and kissed you, feeling the taste of the smoke on his lips.
"You're not so bad yourself," you replied, your voice a low murmur .
His lips curved into a half-smile, the playfulness in his eyes contrasting with the intensity of his gaze. The cigarette rested between his fingers, forgotten for the moment as his focus remained solely on you.
the intensity of his gaze was overwhelming, he was fucking you with his eyes. your lips finally met in a hungry, passionate kiss, his lips moved against yours with a hunger that mirrored your own, a craving for each other almost as if you hadn’t spent the last minutes fucking eachother senseless. 
As the kiss deepened, his hand cupped your cheek, his thumb brushing softly against your skin. 
When your lips finally parted, breathless and flushed, his words reached your ears like a plea. "Don't you ever think of leaving again."
You met his gaze, seeing the sincerity in his eyes, the depth of his fear and desire. The weight of his confession hung heavy in the air, the intensity of the moment a testament to the connection you shared.
"I won't," you whispered, your voice laced with determination. "But you have to promise me something too." His brow furrowed slightly, his fingers tracing patterns on your skin as he waited for your words. "Promise me that you won’t shut me out again," you said, your voice soft but firm. "No more pushing me away, Tommy. If we're going to do this, to really make it work, you have to be all in."
He studied you for a moment, his gaze searching your face as if trying to decipher every emotion you were feeling. And then, with a nod, he gave you a small, genuine smile.
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dandelionprints · 1 year
Text
You’ll Catch A Cold
Pairing: Tommy x Y/N
Summary: Y/N catches a cold and it’s up to Tommy to look after her
Warnings: Fluff, explicit language
Word Count: 3060
A/N: I currently have a cold so I’ve used it as ‘inspiration’ for this one shot, I hope you enjoy!
I do not give permission for my work to be posted anywhere else but reblogs, comments and likes are greatly appreciated!
Tag list is here if you’d like to be added to it
Credit for GIF to creator
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A warm glow from outside shone through his office window as the sun was beginning to set. He’d been stuck in his office all day making various phone calls and writing letters to people he’d rather brush off to his secretary, but he couldn’t do that, he was Thomas Shelby OBE. A politician had to keep up appearances and at least pretend they gave a shit about what other people in power had to say. Yes, he’d worked hard to get to where he was today but he couldn’t deny that he’d rather have spent his day with his wife, Y/N, out in the autumn sunshine catching the last of the years warm rays from the sun, for no doubt the mornings would soon be filled with frost and the skies clouded over with sheets of white by early afternoon.
He reached into his pocket to check the time on his pocket watch. Five thirty PM.
He took a cigarette from its holder on the desk, rolling it slightly on his lips before placing it between them and lighting it. He took a pull and allowed himself to slump a little further into his chair, exhaling as he did so. Sure, five thirty was a lot earlier for him to finish work for the day than usual but he decided that he’d allow himself that luxury. He missed Y/N.
He continued to pull on his cigarette, not really enjoying the taste any more but still craving the nicotine he was getting, as he stood from where he was sitting and began walking over to the door, grabbing his coat on the way.
“Mr. Shelby, sir”, came the voice of his head maid, Frances. She’d been on her way towards his office and looked almost surprised to see him already exiting his office so early in the day.
“Yes?”
“Do you know where Mrs. Shelby is? I haven’t seen her since early afternoon. I thought she might have popped out with Ada but I saw Ada leaving on her own not too long ago”
His heart started to pick up pace a bit although he was sure Y/N would be absolutely fine, she’d probably gone for a walk around the grounds of Arrow House as she quite often did, or to the stables where he often found her when she was feeling down. ‘The horses listen, I don’t need to try with them. I can just talk and talk without the fear of judgement’, she’d say.
“No, I haven't seen her, Frances. It’s okay, I’m just on my way outside to find her. She’s probably in the stables grooming her horse”
“Yes Mr. Shelby”, she nodded, “I’ll pop the kettle on and make some tea, I can imagine she’ll need to be warmed up after being out there, the temperatures dropped something rotten”, she turned on her heel and started walking towards the kitchen.
Tommy continued to make his way towards the door leading out onto the grounds forecourt and made sure to grab his peaky cap on the way. He couldn’t deny the truth in Frances’ words as he stepped out onto the gravelled floor, there really was a bite in the air. The sun looked deceiving as it shone through the slowly yellowing leaves on the trees, you’d think you could still go without a coat if you knew no better than to trust the inconsistent British weather. He threw his now burnt out cigarette onto the floor.
The stables weren’t too far from the house and as he made his approach, he could hear his wife softly singing to herself, or to the horses in fact, a sound that he always loved. A smile crept onto his face as she came into view.
“Thought I’d find you here”, he spoke.
She jumped slightly at the sudden sound, bringing up a hand towards her chest.
“God, you fucking frightened me!”
Tommy only let out a chuckle in response and made his way over to his wife, the smile from the sound of her singing still placed on his lips.
“I love hearing you sing to yourself, it’s one of my favourite sounds in the world you know”. He placed a hand on either side of her waist and pulled her in slightly to give her a kiss as her hands gently reached up to grab his coat by the lapels.
“What time is it? It’s still light, I didn’t think you’d be finished with work until much later this evening”
“Five thirty or thereabouts. I thought I’d give myself the evening off to spend with my beautiful wife who I’d usually be happy with not wearing many layers of clothing but who in this instance I’m worried is going to catch a cold from the lack of layers”
She was wearing a light blue summer dress with no tights and a cream coloured cardigan, not nearly enough to keep the late autumn chill off. She’d fallen victim to the deceit of the sun, believing it to be a lot warmer than it looked outside that morning when she’d rolled out of bed alone and stood in front of the window that had the curtains already pulled apart slightly. She knew Tommy must have gotten up and gone over to the same spot that she was now standing in to check that no unwanted visitors were outside, he did the same thing every morning.
She couldn’t deny that she’d begun to lose the feeling in her fingertips and the tip of her nose felt numb from the bitter bite of the breeze that came in through the slats of the stable door, she could just about feel her nose dripping slightly. She quickly gave her nose a swift wipe with the handkerchief that she kept up her cardigan sleeve.
“I figured that it wouldn’t be as cold as it is and I didn’t plan on being out here for too long, I only came outside to wave goodbye to Ada then I thought I’d check on the horses, before I knew it I’d been out here for at least an hour. Y’know, you get quite used to the cold when you’re distracted. The horses are good company”.
“That they might be, love, but I need to know that my wife is looking after herself and isn’t suffering from hypothermia, now c’mon, lets get inside. Frances has made you a fresh pot of tea”, he was already removing his coat and placing it around Y/N’s shoulders.
“Tea sounds delightful Mr. Shelby, will you be joining me?”
“It would be my pleasure, love”.
He playfully smacked her bum as his signal to start moving towards the stable door and back to the house. She giggled and did as she was instructed, wrapping Tommys coat tightly around her frame.
***
Once inside the house, Tommy had insisted that Y/N go upstairs to their bedroom and get into something warmer. She’d chosen to go for a pair of his boxer shorts and one of his knitted jumpers that he only wore when it was the two of them, usually during the winter months in the evening when they were relaxing in front of the fire before bed. Sure the items of clothing she’d chosen certainly weren't the warmest but the boxers felt comfortable and the jumper was big on her, perfect to snuggle up in. She lifted it up towards her nose and tried to breathe in his scent, only to find that her nose had now lost its ability to smell and instead was now completely blocked. Shit.
‘Tommy’s not going to shut up about this, guess I’ll have to try and pretend I’m not ill’, she thought to herself.
Putting on the boxers and the jumper, she went to the chest at the end of the bed and took out her favourite blanket, the one that Tommy had bought her for her birthday knowing that she loved nothing more than to be wrapped up in a blanket in front of the fire with a cup of tea when the nights were chilly. She smiled at the memory of opening it on her birthday, the joy and excitement that came with it, as she wrapped it around herself and sat in front of the already lit fire. Frances must have been in to light it just before they got back into the house.
“One cup of tea, Mrs. Shelby”
Tommy walked into the room holding a cup of tea on a saucer in each hand, a biscuit or two placed next to the cups.
“Oh why thank you, my love. You do spoil me”, she reached out and took one of the saucers, giving Tommy a peck on the cheek as she did so.
“That’s my job, to keep you happy”, he bent down further to place a soft kiss on her lips.
Frances had insisted on bringing them the tea herself but Tommy had told her he wanted to spend the evening with his wife alone and that although he was grateful for her help, he wanted to be the one to do the basic everyday things he quite often forgot he used to do before the money was rolling in and maids were there at the drop of a hat to tend to his every need. Even if that was something as simple as bringing a cup of tea to his wife.
He took a seat opposite Y/N in front of the fire and placed his own cup and saucer down onto the table that sat between them.
“How was it with Ada? What did you talk about?”
“Oh you know, the usual. About the kids, about politics, about how you work such long hours…”
“You know I have to, Y/N, there’s business that needs to be done”
“I know, Tom. I’ve heard it all before, business first, personal life second, I should really be used to it now”, she paused, “it’s just, I wish we could have at least one day a week where you put the business second and personal life first, just one”
“So that’s why you were out with the horses? To talk to them about your thoughts?”
She nodded in response and he felt his heart drop, he hated the fact that his wife was feeling the way she was and it was all because of him.
“I’m sorry, you’re right. I shouldn’t be putting business first all the time, I know that. It’s just, I’ve worked so fucking hard to get to where I am I’m afraid that if I slow down, even for a second, that I’ll drop the ball and it’ll all be gone”
Y/N stood from her chair and closed the small gap between herself and Tommy, cupping his face with one hand and holding her blanket around her with the other. Tommy wrapped both arms around her.
“That, Mr. Shelby, won’t happen. You’re too headstrong and determined to let that happen. All I ask is for one day a week where you let yourself relax and at least spend a bit of time with me, I feel like I spend most of my days missing you”
Another pang to his chest.
“I miss you too, I really do. I’ll do everything I can to make sure I spend as much time with you as possible and I’ll start doing the one day a week thing too, someone’s got to make sure you bundle up before you go outside”, he chuckled as Y/N tried to hide her smile, giving him a playful nudge to the chest.
“Thank you, it’ll mean the world to me”, she bent back down so that her face was level with Tommy’s, giving him a kiss before standing up straight again.
His eyebrows furrowed slightly.
“Is that my jumper?”
Y/N took the two steps back towards her chair and sat down, picking up her tea and taking a sip. She jokingly looked around the room, ignoring his gaze as his eyes bore into her chest, the cream coloured material showing through the gap between either side of the blanket that had come away from each other.
“Hmm, thought it was”, he chuckled and shook his head slightly, he couldn’t give a fuck if it was his or not, he just knew she looked good in it. Then again, he thought she looked good in anything she wore.
His eyes wandered upwards and began to study her face properly, he noticed that her eyes looked a bit glassy and that her nose was slightly red, he could see her fighting the urge to sniff.
“I knew it! I fucking told you! You’ve caught a cold”, he seemed almost smug that he’d been right about the amount of layers she’d been wearing earlier, “looks like you’ll be getting the Doctor Shelby treatment”
“I have not!”, she exclaimed, her eyes widening, so much for trying to hide that she was ill, “Anyway, what's the ‘Doctor Shelby’ treatment?”
“Well“, it appears that you are in fact ill, and will be requiring someone to look after you. Therefore, I see it as my duty to fulfil that post and tend to your every need. I shall bring you cups of tea, fetch you more blankets, bring you tissues, run baths and lay in bed with you for as long as you so wish. You may not lift a finger to do anything, your husband, or in this case, doctor, will do everything for you”.
“Well doctor, that all sounds amazing! And how long may I ask is this service valid for?”
“For tonight and tomorrow, my love. Shit, sorry, that was unprofessional. You have my services tonight and tomorrow, Mrs Shelby”
“You mean you’re taking the day off of work to look after me? What will you tell them? That your idiot wife didn’t wear enough layers outside and that you’re now stuck at home while she lays in bed sniffing and sneezing her pathetic little nose off with a cold?”
Almost as if to give an example, her nose began twitching and she let out a sneeze, managing to stop herself from making as loud of a noise as she could have. Tommy handed her his handkerchief from his waistcoat pocket.
“Yes I’ll tell them exactly that”
She rolled her eyes and smiled, bringing her now cooling cup of tea to her lips again.
“Do you really think that’s wise? Missing a day off work because I have a cold? You’ve got a reputation to uphold. I mean I know I’ve just said to you that I want to spend more time with you but it doesn’t need to be for you to look after me. Please, Tom, go to work. I’ll be fine! I’ve got Frances and the rest of the staff I…”
“No I won’t hear of it, I want to take the day off to look after you. Besides, when was the last time we actually got to spend time together, eh?”
She pondered for a moment, she knew that he was right. Tommy would get up so early in the morning that she either slept right through or was half asleep when he’d roll over to her and place a kiss on her face before pulling himself out from underneath the covers and to the bathroom. The only times she’d see him in the day if he was at home would be when she’d go to say good morning once she’d gone downstairs, sometimes at lunch when she’d convince him to stop his work for fifteen minutes and get some food down him and then again in the evening once work was over if he’d finished early enough to catch her before she went to bed. She’d lost count of the amount of times she’d stay up waiting for him to come to bed, only to find her eyes growing heavier by the minute, finally allowing them to close fully and drift off into a much needed sleep. She would often wake in the middle of the night to find a blanket draped over her along with Tommy’s arm pulling her in towards him.
She couldn’t deny that getting to spend a whole day with him at home sounded like an absolute dream, even if she was ill.
“Okay, but promise me you’ll come up with something better than ‘my wife is an idiot’ when you tell them you won’t be in please”.
She sniffed again as she felt her nose tickle, trying, but failing, to stop another sneeze from coming.
He laughed, “yes love, don’t worry about that. Besides, I’m Tommy fucking Shelby, I do what I want, when I want”, the cheeky smile that she loved so much appeared on his face and she felt her stomach flip.
She composed herself and managed to utter the words, “Oh, is that so?”
“You know it is, love”
“Well then Tommy fucking Shelby, what is it you want to do now?”, a smirk was playing on her lips, she loved watching his mind race, it was almost as though she could see it happening behind his bright, blue eyes.
“That’s doctor Shelby to you”
“Oh yes, sorry ‘doctor’ Shelby, how are you going to cure me?”
“Well, first things first, let’s get you into bed, you need your rest”
He stood from his chair and made his way over to Y/N, scooping her up in his arms, blanket and all. He softly kissed her forehead as he felt his arms wrap around her.
“It’s still early, you haven’t even had a sip of your tea or had your supper yet”, Y/N wrapped her arms around the back of Tommy’s neck, enjoying the warmth that she could feel radiating from his body.
“That's okay, I’m about to do something really unprofessional and have a snack”
With that he threw Y/N onto the bed, ready to devour her, every inch.
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justimagineitblog · 2 months
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“You Used To Love Me” Michael Gray Fan Fiction - Chapter 13
Well hi *I wave sheepishly from behind the computer screen*
Let me start by saying I am so so sorry that the conclusion of this story took so long - I have barely been writing for a really long time. 
But this story and doing it justice has always been in the back of my mind, and I finally got myself to finish it for all of you who have been so loyal and patient.
Here is the final Chapter of You Used To Love Me.
All my love, I hope you enjoy x 
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Besides the obvious shock at seeing him at such a fucking inopportune time, his presence sends an immediate chill down my spine. 
I have to physically close my eyes to try and rid my mind of the thoughts and flashbacks to the other night, when he kissed me. When we kissed each other. 
The room collectively falls silent. No one tries to stutter over their words. No one tries to save the moment with some excuse. Just pure silence. All of us processing what has just unfolded. That is until Gina finally speaks. 
“Well, I guess the gig is up” she says, almost laughing. 
I don’t even look at her. My eyes are just glued to Michael. I watch his face contort into 100 different shades of confusion. 
When no one else speaks, when nothing is elaborated, he looks back and forth between all of us, searching desperately for an answer. 
“Izzy?” He says my name, his tone just begging me for an answer. 
“This isn’t on her…” Gina begins, standing up slowly from the floor and straightening her dress “I’m pregnant, Michael” 
And just like that, the bomb is dropped. But that’s not even the worst of it. My heart aches inside my chest, knowing that it’s about to get so much worse for Michael. 
I didn’t think it was possible, but somehow the air in the room grows heavier. 
My whole body tenses at I wait to see Michael’s reaction. 
He doesn’t know it’s not his yet. 
He runs his eyes over her, covering his mouth in shock when he finally notices the small baby bump just beginning to show through her dress. 
“Oh my god” he runs a hand through his hair, his hands trembling.
He doesn’t speak, he just shakes his head in disbelief. No excitement. No joy at the thought of having his own child. And that says it all. He isn’t happy. This is not the life he wanted for himself. 
Part of me want’s to tell him about Gina’s infidelity. To tell him that he is not having a child. That he is not going to be stuck raising a child with a woman he doesn’t love. But before I can even find the words, his head stops shaking and his brows furrow. Like a lightbulb switched on in his mind. Like something clicked. It’s like I can see him mind doing back flips as he realises that something doesn’t add up. 
He looks back up at Gina, who is chewing at her bottom lip nervously. She is also waiting for the other shoe to drop. 
Like she said, Michael is smart. It won’t be long before it dawns on him, and I know she does not want that moment to unfold before all of us, here in this room. 
“I would like a moment alone with my husband” Gina says quickly, as she looks over at Polly and I. She knows Michael is starting to catch on to what he knows deep down inside. This is not his baby. 
I take her queue to leave immediately, reaching for Polly’s hand. “Come on Pol, let’s go make some tea yeah?” I say, locking eyes with her and nodding towards the doorway. 
Polly’s catches on, and she takes my hand as we both make our way out of the room. As we exit I quickly glance back over my shoulder to find Michael looking at me gravely, before Gina closes the door behind us.
Polly and I walk downstairs and into the kitchen in complete silence. I start making tea, but Polly touches my arm.
“This is not a time for tea… I’ll get the whisky”
I nod. I’m like a soldier with shell shock. I can barely speak. I can barely move as I lower my body stiffly into a chair at the dining table. 
I’m straining with all my might to hear the conversation going on upstairs between Gina and Michael, but it’s eerily quiet. 
I know what she is telling him now is being said in hushed voices. 
Polly slides a hefty glass of Whiskey in my direction, and tasting the bitter drink is the only thing that brings me out of my frozen trance. 
“Michael’s not going to be a father” she says out of the blue, with her face all knowing, as though she has read the room and understands the situation. 
“No” I affirm her suspicions, although she already knows without me needing to “No he’s not” 
“One day” Polly responds, holding eye contact with me.
I’ve always known Polly has senses. Everyone in the Shelby family knows. Hell, everyone in fucking town knows. She see’s things. Feels them. She know’s Michael will one day be a father. I’m not psychic and even I knew that. He has a way with children. He’s wonderful with them. And in this moment, I know exactly who she thinks he will be having children with. I know what she’s insinuating. 
I almost jump straight out of my seat when I few minutes later, I hear footsteps coming down the staircase. 
I quickly sink the rest of my whiskey, as Gina and Michael enter the dining room. 
“I’m taking Gina to the hospital, I’ll be back later. Tell Tommy we have to reschedule our meeting to another day” 
Michael is holding his cap in his hands, gripping it so tight that his knuckles have gone white. But they’re not as white as his face. I can’t tell if he looks like he’s seen a ghost, or if he is the ghost. 
Gina looks down at the floor, then up at the ceiling. Basically anywhere but at our faces. 
Polly nods, knowing that now is not the time to have words with either of them. I’m actually impressed with how civil she is being towards Gina in this moment. In light of the severity of the situation. 
Michael ushers Gina out the front door, and moments later the cars wheels turn on the gravel and make their way out of the street. 
Polly and I sit in silence, drinking for a little bit longer, until everything catches up with me. The whiskey, the sleeplessness, the bomb that was just dropped. 
Without saying much, Polly and I hug goodbye. She holds on a little longer than usual, and before we depart she gives me a knowing smile. 
I know what she’s thinking. I know she can tell something happened between Michael and I.
But I can’t let my brain run off with the possibilities. I don’t know what is going to happen between us. 
Even with Gina now possibly out of the picture, there’s a lot that has gone on between Michael and I. I still carry the pain, nursing it in my arms every day since he left for America, and came back with another woman. I don’t know what he could ever say to fix that.
And then there’s the possibility that he stays with her, despite the news. Which might just send me over the edge. Truly into a place of no return.
I wander the streets in the short walk back to my apartment, where I pour myself another drink when I arrive. 
I don’t know why, but I sit by the window. Waiting, I guess. Hoping that he might show up. Maybe even part of me is hoping that he doesn’t. But still, I can’t pull myself away. 
I have so many errands, so many jobs to do. But I can’t move on. I spend the rest of the day worrying about him. Picturing him at the hospital, sitting by Gina’s bedside. Supporting her on what might be the worst day of this life thus far. I picture his face when he found out she was pregnant. The horror and fear that he was trying to disguise. 
He didn’t have the glow of someone who just found out their wife is having a baby. 
By the time night falls, and dusk gives way, I have bitten my nails down to the quick without even noticing. 
Feeling horrid and heavy with anxiety, I decide to drag my sleep deprived body into the shower. It’s a peaceful moment, and I start to feel like I could finally settle into bed when someone knocks at my door as I’m getting changed into my night gown.
I catch myself in the mirror for a moment, willing myself to be strong, because I already know who it is standing at my door without even having to open it. 
As I make my way to my visitor, I run over 100 speeches that I have planned in my head. But once I grab that handle and pull it open, the chatter in my head falls silent. 
Michael Grey. 
He stands in the door way, a look of relief washing over his face as though he didn’t think I would actually answer him. 
Of course I would. 
He opens his mouth to speak, inhaling deeply, but the words never follow. With this much history between two people, it’s impossible to know where to begin.
He looks like he’s been to hell and back. 
“Sorry” he stammers, snapping himself out of his trance “Your door was unlocked, but I didn’t want to just walk in-”
“It’s always been unlocked” I breathe, knowing that I’ve kept a lot of parts of me unlocked, incase there was a moment where Michael Grey decided to wander back in. Just like he has right now. 
He nods, understanding what I meant immediately.
“Can I come in?” He begins “I can go if you want, I just…”
He looks so small in this moment. He’s the most timid and sheepish I have ever seen him.
“Of course” I nod, stepping aside to let him in.
We move about my apartment in silence, as we both take a seat at my dining table. When he does, he places his elbows on the table and rests his head in his hands. 
Without even needing to ask, I pour us both a drink.
“I figured if I need one of these you probably do too”
I looks up at me gratefully as I place the glass in front of him and he takes a swig. 
“How is she?” I ask, nervous to actually address the situation at hand. But I know there’s no way around it. We’re not going to talk about the fucking weather. 
“They’re uh, they’re going to keep her overnight until she’s got her hydration back”
There’s silence for a moment before he continues, and he looks as if he’s not able to believe what he’s about to say.  
“Then she’s going home”
My heart jumps and skips over a few beats, making me feel unsteady as I realise what he just said.
Gina is leaving. 
“We’re done” he says, and I suddenly take note of the fact that he’s not wearing his wedding ring. 
“Michael I’m sorry-” I begin, but falter when it comes to finishing my sentence.
I am sorry. But the truth is that I’m fucking relieved. Relieved for Michael. Relieved for myself. Relieved that I don’t have to watch him raise a child with someone else right in front of my eyes when it was supposed to be me. 
“It’s okay” he nods “Her and I we weren’t… I didn’t love her Izzy” 
I knew this whole time. I want to scream it from the rooftops. I want to scream it at him. I want to ask what possessed him to act that way for so long. 
I want to ask him who he loves. I want to ask him if it’s still me. 
“It still hurts though” I say instead, trying to keep my wits about me. And that is the truth. He is still in pain. 
“Yeah well I had that coming didn’t I” he almost laughs to himself, shaking his head. 
He looks up at me, bearing himself. He knows what he did was wrong. And he knows as far as karma goes, he was now getting his. 
“I’ve done so many things wrong… Everything got so out of control Iz” I notice his knee is bouncing rapidly beneath the table. 
I hold my breath, so much so that I begin to feel light headed and my chest begins to burn.
“We don’t have to talk about this if you don’t want to” he says once he notices my speechlessness, “I just owe you an explanation. I owe you that much” 
I nod, giving him the go ahead. The green light of redemption. 
We’re on the edge of the moment. The moment I’ve been waiting for for months. 
“You know I don’t even know why you let me in, you’re always so kind, so good. Too fucking good. After everything” 
His chest rises and falls beneath his shirt and vest, growing faster with every second as he gets himself more and more worked up over the train wreck of his life. 
“You know I can’t get the look on your face out of my head, from the day that you saw me and Gina. The day I came back and told you to leave me alone. It fucking haunts me Izzy. Because I didn’t want it. But when you’re in too deep…” He shakes his head, as his words just keep pouring out frantically “I thought it was the only way… the only way to deal with what I had done. I couldn’t even look at Gina. I couldn’t even touch her. So I thought if I forgot about you, that I could move on”
“Did you?” Are the only words I can utter, as the lump in my throat swells, almost cutting off my voice completely. 
“Never. Fucking never” 
I had built this moment up in my head for so long. 
What I would say to him. 
How I would teach him a lesson. 
How I would show him what he had done to me. 
That he can’t get away with doing that to a person.
I had rehearsed how I would make him get on his knees and beg for my forgiveness.
Make him explain himself until he was blue in the face.
Until I was satisfied. 
I wait for that feeling to come, the rage, but it never does.
Instead, I stay silent as he takes a deep breath to steady himself. His eyes are welling up, threatening to spill over as he continues to explain.
“I lost my way over there. I was losing my fucking mind without you. I got drunk, Gina was forceful. One thing led to another and I woke up next to her one morning. Then I couldn’t get rid of her. I was doing business with her family, and it’s like she saw something she wanted and would stop at nothing to get it. That’s when I stopped contact with you… I couldn’t bring myself to talk to you. To face what I had done”
The first tear falls onto his freckled cheeks, but he wipes it quickly. 
“I was going to cut her off before I came back home, but she threatened that she would cut off the deal between Shelby Limited and her Uncles if I left her. She threatened fucking horrible things to the people I loved Izzy, you have no idea” His voice is panicked as he recalls every last detail, and I can see the flashbacks taking their toll on him. 
“Her family and her people, they’re something we’ve never dealt with before…She begged me to let her come with me. I was in way over my fucking head. And so I had to pretend. I didn’t want her to sink her claws into you too. I didn’t want anything to happen to you. I didn’t want you involved. So I had to pretend like I fucking hated you when all I wanted was to come crawling home to you”
By now, one tear had led to another, and he was no longer wiping them away. His eyes red, his cheeks drowning. 
Unable to keep swallowing the lump in my own throat, I abandon all control over my own emotions, and my own eyes spill over with tears. 
“You could have told me” my voice scrapes out of my throat “You could have told me what was happening”
He shakes his head “I wanted to protect you, and I had to break you in order to do that. And I’m so fucking sorry” 
The feeling comes again, where I’m certain I should be screaming at him right now. Cursing him for everything he put me through. 
But I can’t. After all this time, after everything. I just can’t. 
I still love him. 
My small, shaking hand glides across the top of the dining table, and lays gently over the top of his. 
Of course it did. We’re like magnets, him and I. We’ve never been able to keep away from each other. 
My touch has an immediate effect on him, as his breathing begins to calm.
But in an unexpected turn, he holds my hand and brings it up to his lips. His eyes close as he places a kiss on the back of my hand, and then another one on the soft, sensitive skin of my inner wrist. 
This is something we used to do all the time, and right now, it’s like he doesn’t realise what he’s doing. Muscle memory takes over. 
“You’re fucking stupid Michael Grey” I sniffle “I should hate you. I should fucking hate you” 
“Do you?” He asks, still holding onto my hand like it’s his only lifeline. 
I stare back at him for a moment, before I feel my head start to shake in response.
“Never” 
I feel a pull on my arm, as I realise he’s pulling my closer to him. 
And I don’t resist. 
Our bodies creep closer, slowly then all at once as we collide. His arms wrap around me fiercely, engulfing me. My arms wrap around his torso, and I make no mistakes about holding him tight. 
It’s almost crushing, suffocating, the way we are clinging onto one another. 
I can’t breathe, or cry, or laugh. I can’t move. And I don’t want to. 
His hand holds the back of my head, and I bury it into the crook of his neck. 
“I’m so sorry” he apologises, his voice muffled as his face presses into my skin “I’m so fucking sorry” 
I could have stayed like that forever, but he pulls back holding my face in his hands as he looks down at me.
“I love you” he begins, his breath tickling my face “I don’t know if that’s okay with you, but I still love you. Izzy. I never stopped” 
I look up at him, our breaths slowing and steadying, until we’re breathing in synchronicity. 
“I still love you the same as the day I met you” I shake my head, but I can feel the smallest of smiles begin to creep onto my lips “I love you Michael” 
“Yeah?” He asks one more time, as if he doesn’t believe it yet. 
“Yes, you fucking idiot” I exhale a laugh, unable to stop the smile now “I love you”
He beams back down at me, his head lowering until his lips meet mine. 
He’s slow, this time. Unsure. Gentle. As if this moment might fall away and escape him if he makes one wrong move. 
But I can’t hold back any longer. 
I kiss him back, pressing my body even harder against his, which I hadn’t thought was possible. 
I expect a ravenous kiss to follow, for clothes to start falling off our bodies and to gravitate our way towards my bedroom.
But after he returns a tender kiss, he pulls away. 
“Wait” he breathes
“You okay?” I pant, biting down on my lip. 
“Can we wait…” he whispers nervously “I don’t want you to think this is all I want. I just want to talk to you. Stay up all night talking like we used to. God I missed you so much”
My chest warms up, as I realise he really means it. That he doesn’t want me to get the wrong impression. That he missed my body, but more than that, he missed me. 
“Of course” I coo “I would like that” 
He presses his lips to mine one last time, then plants a few soft kisses across my nose and cheeks. Just like he used to. 
We lead each other to the bedroom, and flop down next to each other, taking in the days events. And how the hell we ended up here. 
It doesn’t take long for the conversation to start, as we turn to face each other. 
He caresses my face the whole time, stroking my cheek with his thumb gently. 
It’s all so familiar, and right now in our little bubble, it’s like no time has passed between us at all. Like no hearts were ever broken. 
We talk for hours, neither of us ever feeling tired for a moment. We laugh, getting carried away and wrapped up in each others. Sometimes we cry. He apologises more times than I can keep count. We hold each other. Sometimes I want to ask him to pinch me, to make sure I’m not still concussed from earlier in the week and imagining all of this. That I’m not going to wake up and realise it wasn’t real. That he won’t be taken away from me again. 
We talk about how things used to be.
We talk about the future.
Eventually at some point in the early hours of the morning, once our voices are tired and we can’t keep our eyes open any longer, we fall asleep. 
When I wake, I’m alone, but next to me I can see the indent of where Michael had been next to me the night before.
My heart starts to race as I become more aware.
He’s left. He’s gone again. 
I’m almost carried away into a full panic attack, when something snaps me out of it. The sound of the radio coming from somewhere in the house.
Wondering if someone is here, or if I just left it on, I wrap myself in a robe and make my way into the heart of my apartment. 
And there he is. 
Fixing up breakfast, still in his clothes from the night before. Humming along to the radio. 
He doesn’t even realise I’m there for a few moments, and I’m glad I have some time to process this all to myself.
I had thought I’d never see this scene again. Maybe in my memories, but never in real life. 
Michael, in my kitchen, making us breakfast on a cold morning. 
My chest floods with warmth.
I didn’t realise how I felt like I had been holding my breath up until this moment, and how now I can finally exhale. 
“Morning” he greets me when I he catches me standing there out of the corner of his eye “Sorry, I just thought I’d make you some breakfast, or at least coffee” 
“Thank you” I smile, as I force myself to hurry up and adjust to the moment. 
“You still like your eggs the same?”
“Absolutely” I smile, endeared by him asking. 
He holds out a hand, and I take it, as he reels me in towards his body. 
“If this is too much just tell me” he says softly, checking in with where I’m at right now “Is this okay?” 
I can tell he’s still unsure. Unsure of whether I’m going to tell him to leave. To get out. That the mistakes are unforgivable and that we can never get it back. 
But the truth, that I can feel in my core, is that what we had never really left. 
I run a hand through his hair, and he closes his eyes briefly, taking in the sensation. 
“I think so” I nod, and he perks up, his eyes look hopeful and bright again “I thought you had left” I admit, revealing why I looked so startled just now.
“No chance” he shakes his head “I’m here. I’m yours”
And I believe him.
It’s a pivotal moment.
Standing on the edge and letting yourself jump. 
I know it will take time. And I know he will work every day to prove it to me. 
But I choose to trust him.
In whatever way that means right now.
I am his.
I always have been. And I always will.
TAGLIST
@shadow-of-wonder
@marvelismylifffe​ 
@saintd0lce
@haphazardhufflepuff​ 
@peaky-things​ 
@burnitup​ 
@swweett-insanityyy​ 
@ganjeolhiddaeng​ 
@thoughtfulfreakalpaca​ 
@infinitelycharmed23​ 
@chloeforde​ 
@ashtronomyyyy​ 
@livingforbarnes​ 
@cleverdreamerhoagiewolf​ 
@elleclairez​ 
@marvelschriss​ 
@carezzesuigraffi
@l0tsofpennies
@siliethkaijuy
@ineedabifriend
@bloodorangemoonlight
@maiabiovillage
@yoheyyosup
@hinagiku0​ 
@beth-winchester21​ 
@soleil-dor
@baker151910
@cherrytop02
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prettygreenpills · 6 months
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KINKTOBER day 13: spanking kink w/ polly gray but sub! polly surely 🧑‍🦽🧑‍🦽🧑‍🦽
sub Polly? Oh my god I can’t- I can’t- no she’s such a dom🥺😭
KINKTOBER day 13 | spanking kink - Polly Gray
Count for me
warnings: smut!, spanking kink, sub!polly, dom!reader, fingering, oral sex, orgasm control, etc.
“Don’t you dare cum,” you growled to the woman as you lifted your head from between her legs in her office. From the face expression she was making, you knew that the woman wouldn’t be able to hold it anymore. Smiling for yourself and taking it as another reason to come up with a punishment for her, you were still eating her out.
“Fuck fuck fuck! Y/n!” Polly was already screaming for you. You were edging her what felt for you like a good hour, but you were sure it felt like a lot longer time for Polly. Smiling for yourself, when you felt Polly clench, you pulled away, not giving her the satisfying release she needed so much. “Fuck you Y/n, now really,” Polly whined and you raised your eyebrows.
“Oh this is how do we talk now? Fuck me?” You asked her back and when you saw in her eyes that she had regretted it immediately, you smirked.
You sat down onto the armchair and tapped your thigh. Polly just looked at you, scared. A second later she shook her head ‘no’ and you peacefully waited. When she knew there was no way out of her punishment, she walked over to you and bent over your legs.
“Five for swearing, five for disobedience,” you commented so the woman knew what to expect from you. She just nodded her head and kept laying on your thighs with her ass high up in the air.
You smacked her ass for the first time with what you earned a help from the woman.
“Count for me.”
“One- thank you.” You smiled over that and smacked her again. “Oh- two… thank you,” Polly moaned and you smirked. God how you loved smacking her ass. “Mhm! Three!”
“And?”
“Thank you,” Polly thanked you again. You looked down between her ass cheeks and saw how excited she got from the spanking. You changed your hands and smacked her again, while with the other hand you were caressing her upper thighs from the back. “Four! T-thank you-“ Polly moaned softly and you looked between her ass cheeks again.
“We like this pretty much, don’t we?” You chuckled when you saw her arousal and Polly whined.
“Please-“
“Just six more darling,” you smirked and smacked her ass again. Polly kept counting for you and yelping. And you knew why. Her ass was blood red.
“Fuck! Five-“
“Shh, that’s a good girl. You’re taking your punishment so well,” you whispered and two fingers of your hand started playing with her entrance. You softly entered your fingers and when a moan was already on Polly’s lips, you smacked her.
“S-six- oh Y/n-“ Polly moaned as you started finger-fucking her. Listening to her wetness you felt your clit throb. She looked amazing like this. Bent over your thighs, with her ass as red as pepper and with your fingers inside of her warmth. “Seven!”
“Just three more darling, you can take it, can’t you?”
“Y-Yes-“
“That’s an amazing girl,” you said and took a break from smacking her ass. You turned her on yourself, so her legs were by your thighs and her naked core was presented to you. Polly grabbed the edge of the desk and climbed up so she was leaning on it with her chest. “Oh baby,” you moaned at the sight and added another finger, stretching Polly out.
“Oh yes!”
You were stretching her out while fingering. Seeing that she was taking deep breaths, you smirked at you success and kept playing the woman.
“Oh my god- fuck-“ Polly was moaning on the table and oh that pretty red ass of hers. Knowing that she probably wouldn’t take any more snacks, you were satisfied by that your spanking made her wet so easily.
Slipping your fingers in and out of her, you were making her squirm on the table. When you hit that special spot, or when you decided to tease her clit a little bit.
“Hush Pol. Be a good girl for me…”
“I’m close Y/n! I’m closer,” she whined out and you noted it to yourself. Decided to fuck her until her body was responding, you kept your fingers in the place.
Polly was clenching around you so hard it was difficult to pull your fingers out almost. When Polly squeezed your hand with her thighs… oh the view you had. And then you pulled your fingers out.
“Fuck no! No, no, no, no! Please!” Polly cried and you, honestly, enjoyed it. Her body was still spasming and you were watching her wet core. When you realized the breath of exhaustion the woman let out, you sat into the armchair more comfortably than before and cleared your throat.
“Over my knees. Again,” you spoke with your voice deep as Polly’s chocolate brown eyes. Polly obeyed you and she laid over your thighs again. You teased her ass a little and then, you leant down. “Another ten for you okay? And then you’re free to go.”
“Y-Yes-“
Polly bent over your thighs, her body shaking from the feelings. When she was laying, you caressed her asscheeks which got a pretty red color and leant down to kiss her. And then another smack came.
“Eight! Holy fuck,” Polly screamed and you continued to make this as fast as you could. “Nine!” And then you brought your hand down to her ass for the last time. Polly moaned softly and you smiled, caressing her cheeks which were blood red now.
“Didn’t you forget something?”
“Ten- t-thank you,” Polly breathed out and then you brushed her lower back.
“You did so well,” you whispered to her and caressed her cheek again. Polly whined softly and then you helped her with getting up. She decided to sit on your thighs and she cuddled you. She needed comfort.
“Do you need anything now?” You asked her and Polly looked up.
“I-“ she started shyly and looked down. You lifted her shin up and then you stroked her thighs.
“Yes?”
“Can we cuddle please?” She asked you and went red in her cheeks. You just cuddled her and didn’t give her a verbal answer. Polly hummed softly and closed her eyes. She was exhausted. You softly smiled at the woman and kissed her into her hair. God she was beautiful.
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ethanantares · 1 year
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#peakyblinders #thomasshelby #tommyshelby #cillianmurphy #arthurshelby #peakyblindersedit #tomhardy #johnshelby #peakyblindersseason #netflix #peakyblindersquotes #joecole #shelby #alfiesolomons #paulanderson #peakyfuckingblinders #finnshelby #pollygray #finncole #peakyblindersofficial #michaelgray #peaky #adashelby #byorderofthepeakyblinders #peakyblinder #love #bbc #birmingham #snowfall #graceshelby (presso Snowfall) https://www.instagram.com/p/Cpx_ljFLOFs/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=
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hauwff · 5 months
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hcc-international · 1 year
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House-of-Mustang Eruptiongreen . . . . . . #ford #mustang #v8 #coyote #mustangweek #mustanglife #mustangnation #mustangporn #mustanglovers #mustangmagazine #shelby #thomasshelby #arthurshelby #hcc #hccinternational (hier: Troisdorf, Germany) https://www.instagram.com/p/CoNarQcKCgt/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=
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novakphotofeelings · 1 year
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Jest na Śląsku zakręcona pozytywnie na punkcie Peaky Blinders banda. Stylowe ciuchy, ponętne babki, łypiący groźnym okiem spod kaszkietów faceci... Wszystko w klimacie serialu z lokalnym odcieniem... Damian @fanzlohvonobzyldz (znamy się nie od dziś i troszkę już razem porobiliśmy) jest głównym zbirem tej bandy i pomysłodawcą na cykl fanowskich plenerów. Wszedłem w ten projekcik od razu... a dziś pierwszy set dla oddania klimatu. W następnych sporo super portretówek, zbiorowych i fajnych sytuacyjnych kadrów... *** Przewielkie podziękowania dla całej ekipy: Basia @you_want_it_darker_ Kasia @kaska0192 Damian @fanzlohvonobzyldz@fanzlohvonobzyldz Kuba @fotokompozytor.pl Miłosz @callsign.snowshoe Piotr @wymyslnypiotr Kamil @czytoholik_pl *** #peakyblinders #thomasshelby #tommyshelby #arthurshelby #johnshelby #peakyblindersseason #netflix #shelby #peakyblindersofficial #peaky #adashelby #birmingham #peakyblindersfan #stylizacja #sesjastylizowana #sesjafanowska #peakynasląsku #nikiszowiec #novak #novakphoto #novakphotofeelings #fotografkraków #fotografiakraków (w: Nikiszowiec) https://www.instagram.com/p/CncbpOXIWGm/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=
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worldwidz · 1 year
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multirenowacja · 1 year
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Farby ze sklepu MULTIRENOWACJA.PL 🎨🎨🎨📲 Custom od 👉👟👟🎨@cieslak_dsgn PEAKY FOOKIN’ BLINDERS AirForcy w motywie Peaky Blinders, na których znajdują się podobizny Tommyego i Arthura Shelby. Poszczególne elementy butów zostały pomalowane na wzór beretu, który był nieodzowną częścią ich garderoby. Inspiracja: Peaky Blinders Farby: @multirenowacja Model: AirForce 1 low Nazwa: „Peaky fookin’ blinders” #peakyblinders #thomasshelby #tommyshelby #cillianmurphy #arthurshelby #peakyblindersedit #tomhardy #johnshelby #peakyblindersseason #netflix #peakyblindersquotes #joecole #shelby #airforce1 #customshoes #customkicks #kicks #peakyblinderscustom #nikecustom #angeluspaint #angelusdirect #custommade #razor #airforcecustom #custommovement #customsneakers #multirenowacja #multirenowacjapl https://www.instagram.com/p/ClA_ZCfs6zL/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=
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xantthec · 2 years
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BYE BYE TOMMY _ #peakyblinders #peakyblindersseason6 #seasonfinale #cillianmurphy #tommyshelby #theshelbys #tomhardy #alfiesolomons #arthurshelby #paulanderson #helenmccrory #pollygray #sophierundle #adashelby #seriesoftheday #britishseries #stevenknight #random #bestscene #photooftheday #liferecorder https://www.instagram.com/p/CgOsdNxPGgZ/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=
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dandelionprints · 1 year
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Time To Go
Pairing: Tommy Shelby x you
Summary: The sunlight began to stream in, the sign of a new day. A new day Tommy didn't want to begin. He'd just been called up to fight for his country in the war alongside his brothers, John and Arthur. And then there's the love of his life, how will he possibly say goodbye to her?
Warnings: slight fluff? Mentions of war and destruction/weapons, slight language.
A/N: This is my first imagine writing for this fandom! Full credit for GIF to whoever created it. I do not give consent for my works to be posted anywhere else or used without my permission, reblogs are very welcome though! I feel like this could be better but I really wanted to get something out there, I hope you enjoy it x
Tag list is here if you’d like to be added to it
Word Count: 2929
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He'd hardly slept a wink.
'What time was it?'
He was aware of the sunlight slowly creeping in through his window little by little, making his small box room in the Shelby household glow. The dull wallpaper on the walls now had shadows cast upon it and he tried to decipher what item in his room each shadow belonged to. He'd hoped that it would help him drift off to sleep if even only for an hour. God knows he needed it. He slowly turned onto his side to check the time on his pocket watch that he kept on his bedside table. '5:30am. It would soon be time to leave for the train'.
He rolled onto his back letting out a sigh, fuck he was so tired. The night was spent tossing and turning, his mind wouldn't stop racing with thoughts of the unknown that he was soon to endure. His eyes felt like sandpaper was scraping past them with each blink, his mouth was so dry that it was an effort to lick his lips successfully in an attempt to wet them. He'd kicked the bed sheets off of himself in the night as they clung to his sweaty body and he found himself constantly turning the pillow over in a desperate attempt to reach the cold side.
He'd just been called up for the War.
He wasn't sure yet what his main duty would be, would he be called up to the front? Digging trenches? A sniper man, maybe? A tunneler? God he hoped he wouldn't be a tunneler, he'd hated confined spaces ever since he was a child. His older brother, Arthur, would often trap him in their mothers wardrobe whenever they were fighting over something or he just wanted some entertainment. The sound of his brothers pleas for freedom did nothing but make Arthur laugh even more each time a scream came from the young trapped Shelby lad until their mother set the poor boy free from his dark holding. She'd always be sure to give Arthur a swift hiding on the backside each time which he'd come to see as worthwhile if it meant he got to torment his younger brother.
Tommy could feel his throat closing up just at the memory, the air in the room suddenly appearing thinner as if someone had turned a dial and was slowly shutting off the oxygen. He brought his hands up to his throat and began clawing at it as if to try and remove an imaginary pair of hands he was convinced were squeezing it, tightly.
Don't think about it, Tom.
Trying to regain back some kind of control, he lowered his hands back down to his sides and slowly closed his eyes before making sure to take some deep breaths in through his nose and out through his mouth. His mother had taught him that trick as he was growing up, "the best way to get that breath of yours back!", she'd told him.
He'd soon come to find that it was also a neat little trick for when he'd been out stealing small rolls of bread at the bakers to help feed the family, times were hard, he couldn't let his mother see that he was out of breath from running away and then have to explain the reason behind it. He smiled at the memory and soon realized that he had gained back the control of his breathing, with each breath as smooth as the last.
He rolled over once more to grab a cigarette from his bedside table along with the lighter laying next to it. Lighting the end he laid back down on the bed with one arm rested behind his head, taking a drag of the cigarette that was now in between his fingers.
His mind quickly wandered back to everything that had kept him up all night and the thought of knowing he was about to enter a new chapter in his life. He knew that to begin with he'd have to go through some very basic training, how long this would be for he didn't know, he just knew he'd probably go on to do whatever job he was assigned very under-prepared due to the need for more men to help fight for their country, and fast. 
His brothers, Arthur and John, had also been called up. His youngest brother Finn was still not old enough, a blessing he'd admit to being relieved by. If the three were all to die in combat then at least there would still be a male Shelby to carry on the family name.
He took another drag.
His mind raced then as he thought about all he'd be leaving behind. His beautiful white horse that was a gift from his mother, the freedom of being able to do what he wanted when he wanted, to go wherever he wanted when he wanted. The woods just past the cut that he'd often escape to, trying to relieve his mind of the pressures of the city. His mother. His father. Finn. Aunt Pol. You.
He felt a pang of sadness suddenly hit him in the chest and was surprised to feel a rush of tears enter his eyes but wouldn't allow them to spill out, no chance, if he started he was afraid he'd never stop.
The cigarette had now burnt right down nearly to the filter, his thoughts pretty much wasting the time he could have spent smoking it. He rolled over again and stamped the wasted nub out into the ashtray he kept on his bedside table before once again laying down, this time rolling over onto his left hand side.
A smile grew onto his lips as he saw you sleeping peacefully beside him. He brought a hand up and gently stroked the hair that had found itself covering your eye away so that he could see every inch of your face. 'So beautiful'.
You'd first met Tommy as a young girl whilst playing out on the dim dirty streets of Birmingham. The pair of you had soon become inseparable and it was a known fact that wherever the Shelby boys went, you went too.
You were often being told off for not 'acting like a girl' by your parents, when you'd rather skin your knee's climbing walls into places you weren't meant to go in, or sneak into the pub with Tommy and his brothers to try and drink whatever leftover alcohol people had abandoned in glasses on empty tables, you didn't see the need in making sure you looked presentable all the time.
Tommy loved that about you. Your carefree, determined attitude to do whatever you wanted to do instead of being trapped by other peoples thoughts and opinions about what they thought you should be doing. Even now you were a young woman, that attitude had never changed.
His eyes shifted as you began to stir from your sleep, his hand gently cupping your cheek.
"Morning", he smiled, happy that you'd finally woken from your slumber.
He'd watched you sleep throughout the night, the constant worries of leaving you behind plunging themselves into his thoughts. He'd had to fight them off each time and reassure himself that you'd be okay back here in England with his mother and aunt Pol. They'd make sure to keep you occupied and keep your mind busy to try and warn off any bad thoughts about Tommy's well being, as much as they could anyway.
You opened your eyes fully before squinting, the room now brighter than you'd expected it to be. You heard Tommy let out a chuckle as you pulled the duvet up closer around your chin and slightly nuzzled the pillow.
"Morning", you managed to murmur, "what time is it?"
"Just after 5:30, you can go back to sleep if you want to, you need your rest", his hand was now back to stroking your hair away from your face, each brief graze of his fingers sending the hairs on the back of your neck to stand on end. How did this man do it? Any time he touched you no matter how briefly was like it was for the first time all over again. Electric.
"No, I want to be with you, savoring every second before..." the realization hit you then. Today was the day he had to leave for God knows how long. Maybe forever.
As your voice trailed off he knew you were probably finding things just as hard as he was, he knew you didn't want to be apart from him either. What he didn't know was that you'd been in a constant stream of nightmares all night, terrible ones. Images of bombs going off, men being gunned down, tunnels collapsing... and you wasn't about to tell him either.
His hand was around your waist then, gently pulling you in closer as he pressed a tender kiss to your forehead. He didn't have the words to tell you just how much he'd miss you, how you'd be on his mind every second of every terrifying day. How even though he'd carry your picture with him wherever he went, he was so scared of forgetting each and every angle of your face, the way your nose slightly curved upwards at the tip, the way your lips would feel as they touched his, soft. So soft.
The thing he was most scared of though was forgetting the sound of your voice, how it sounded as you called his name in any capacity, and your laugh, God he hoped he didn't forget that. The noise was music to his ears every time even though you always said you hated the way it sounded.
He also didn't have the words to tell you just how scared he was. Not just scared, he was absolutely petrified. It was probably a good thing because he didn't want to make you worry even more, he had to put on some kind of strong front for the both of you. He was determined that he would be coming back home.Back home to the streets of Birmingham, the woods behind the cut, his family, you.
Neither of you spoke for a while, instead you lay holding one another in the perfect sanctuary of Tommy's bed. Though neither of you said it you both wanted this moment to last forever, you wanted to feel his breath gently brushing past your cheek, his slightly rough skin on the pads of his fingertips grazing every part of your body as if to tease you, his lips pressed to yours, bliss. One thing you knew for certain was that you’d miss it all while he wasn’t there.
But time was cruel and waited for no one, it was time to get up and get ready to leave for the station.
- - -
Once at the station neither of you could hold in the tears that were forming in your eyes. You let out another sob as you flung your arms around Tommy's neck, you didn't care if his uniform got a bit wet and creased, there was no way in hell that you weren't going to hold him for what could be the last time before he stepped onto that train.
Tommy had convinced his mother and aunt Pol to stay behind at the house, he knew his mother would be in pieces having to say goodbye to three of her four sons, watching them step onto the train one by one not knowing if she'd ever get to see their faces again.
John and Arthur had already gotten onto the train. With no one to say goodbye to at the station they couldn't bare to watch mothers and sons, families with children, men with their girlfriends getting to share that last hug before the men went off into the unknown, not knowing if their feet would ever touch the soil in Birmingham again. They'd rather block it out, just get on with it and deal with their emotions in private, they never wanted to be seen as weak.
A whistle blew on the platform, signalling that it was time to start boarding the train. Your stomach tensed up and you could have sworn that you didn't know how you managed not to throw up where you stood. This was the moment you had been dreading, or so you thought.
"Please, come home to me", your voice was shaky through the sobs, your hands cupping each side of Tommy's face, "I don't want to live a life where you're not in it".
Your words were like daggers to Tommy's heart and he brought his hands up to cover your own, "I will do everything I possibly can to come back to you, even if I have to dig a tunnel all the way back to Birmingham myself, I'd do it for you".
Your foreheads pressed together for a moment before Tommy released his hands from yours and gently lifted your chin with a finger. He placed a gentle, loving kiss to your lips. You silently begged for the kiss to never end but of course it did and as you both pulled away you could see the tears still running from his eyes, rolling over his cheekbones and onto the station platform.
Another whistle.
He bent down to pick up his bag that held the very few possessions he owned, the most important one being his photograph of you, it was a portrait he'd taken himself on a camera that he'd stolen from an upmarket shop on their visit to London one year. "The most beautiful girl to ever exist", he'd said.
"C'mon lad, time to go", shouted another man in a deep, burly voice as he walked past Tommy, giving him a slap on the shoulders as he did so.
"I'll write to you, I promise", he planted one last sweet kiss upon your lips.
Tommy’s eyes were still flowing with tears, he used the back of his hand to wipe his nose as he slowly started backing away from the love of his life, his feet aching to step forward, his arms screaming at him to reach out and grab your hand to run out of the station and into those woods behind the cut that you'd so often visit together. But he couldn't.
Before either of you knew it he was at the train door, a bustle of men all stepping on one by one. Tommy took one last look at you and tried his best to give you a smile before he too took a step onto the train.
The sobs that hadn't stopped since you'd left the Shelby household that morning continued, the sound blending in with what seemed to be the majority of the women's sobs on the platform. How could any of them ever stop? Their partners, dad's, brothers, uncles and so on were leaving to fight in a dangerous war, one that they knew wouldn't be forgiving. And God knows how long this war was going to last for, it could be months before the men, come soldiers, could even imagine the pure relief of being allowed to come home.
One final whistle.
The train doors were closed one by one by the conductor, a grimace on his face with every slam of the wooden frames, almost as an apology to the loved ones standing on the platform waving goodbye, as if he felt responsible for sending the men off into what could possibly be their death.
The steam started spilling from the funnel atop the train and the sound of the engine pumping as coal was being piled into the boiler at the front started to fill the air. Ever so slowly the trains wheels began to turn and as they did so the men all stuck their heads out of the windows, hoping to catch a last glimpse of their loved ones.
You saw him, clear as day. Tommy had his head poking out of a window, two men had also stuck their heads above his, trying to wave at their families. He waved at you, tears in his eyes, the smile that he'd tried to throw in your direction before stepping on the train now well and truly gone, instead a look of worry and sorrow was written all over his face. You were sure that the same was on yours too.
His features began to get less distinctive as the train crept further and further away until eventually you could no longer distinguish which face belonged to him, the distance too great. You continued to stand there until the train was nearly out of sight, and that’s when you realised, this was the moment you were dreading the most.
Tommy had gone to war and you didn't know if he was ever coming back.
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justimagineitblog · 8 months
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KEEPER OF MY HEART - THOMAS SHELBY
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KEEPER OF MY HEART - CHAPTER 2
Well… I survived.
Actually, more than that. I feel at home already. 
I glance over at the clock as the last of the men stumble their way out of the pub. I smile to myself as I hear them singing and laughing with each other, all the way down the street. Happy customers. 
I poured the beer. I made sure there were no fights. Nothing was damaged or broken. I made chatted with the men and women, making them laugh as I tried to make sure I left my best impression on them. Incase the Shelby’s wanted to ask around about what people thought of me. 
I felt like I had found my feet after only one night, but the relief doesn’t last long.
I know I haven’t gotten the job yet. In fact, the Shelby’s could walk in here right now and thank me for my time before sending me on my way. I try to push the thought of homelessness or having to clean peoples houses for a living out of my mind as I count up the last of the till. This is all I know. This is what I’m good at. I need this job.
I sweep and mop the floors, and wipe down all the surfaces, making sure everything is neat and tidy. 
A peace of my heart has fallen in love with the Garrison already. 
Earlier in the night, John Shelby and some of the younger Shelby boys and their friends had stopped in for drinks. It was Saturday night after all. The boys were hitting the town. They had their own private room, and I made sure they were tended to like kings. I was fast and discreet, remembering their orders and topping them up with fresh glasses any time they ran out before they even had to ask. 
My only reassurance, is when John pulled me aside just before 11pm.
“Zoe, right?” He had asked me, as he joined me behind the bar and started helping me pour beers during a busy rush. 
“You’re good at this, you know, like really good” He had smiled at me “Tommy told me to stop by-“
“To make sure I hadn’t burned the place down yet?” I joke, earning a laugh. 
“I’m putting in a good word for you, I just want you to know that” he touches my shoulder reassuringly “Maybe it’s that I’m younger, more with the times than the others, but I think you would be good for the place. Bring some life back in here”
I smile at him warmly, turning my attention away from the beers I was pouring to make sure I have him my full presence. Him doing me this favour means more to me than he could imagine. Everything is riding on this. Ever since I gave up my fathers pub, I’ve felt so lost. Just one night at the Garrison and I feel like I’m back in my element. More than needing money, I think I need this job for my sanity. 
“So you’re the softie of the Shelby’s huh?” I grin, handing him a beer “That means a lot to me John. Thank you” I add sincerely. 
“See you tomorrow then hey” he smiles back, heading back to the others. 
I knew from that moment that John and I would be friends. Similar in age. And he had looked out for me when the rest were ready to dismiss me at first glance. He even reminded me of my own brother. 
Smiling to myself at the thought of the exchange with John, I head over to the front doors to lock them and close up for the night. 
Right as I reach up to close the latch at the top of the door, it suddenly swings open. 
And there he is. Thomas Shelby. 
I take a few steps backwards, moving out of his way. 
Like earlier in the day, he looks me up and down before giving me a firm nod. I guess that was his way of greeting me. So much for “hello”. 
He brushes past me, and begins to make a lap around the empty Pub. It takes me a few seconds to realise he’s examining the place. Checking that nothing is out of order. I clasp my hands behind my back, wringing them tightly. I don’t want him to see my nerves. 
“The till is balanced, place is clean, everyone is gone and safe and everything is prepped for tomorrow” I inform him, but he barely even notices. Despite my reassurance, he makes his way behind the bar to check that the money is all in order. 
“I didn’t steal anything, before you ask” I say, slightly offended that he won’t take my word that I can manage the pub. 
He counts the money in silence, and takes one last look around the Pub before finally turning to me. 
When his eyes meet mine, they’re just as piercing as they were 12 hours ago when we first met. Something about them makes you stand still, frozen. They are crystal clear blue, but it is still impossible to read him. To know what is about to come out of his mouth. 
“Good. You didn’t burn the place down”
Seriously.
Any nerves I had fall away, as I am overcome with frustration. That is all he has to say to me? Is he embarrassed that I proved him wrong?
“Thank you is generally the word that people go with” I retort.
“Thank you” he replies condescendingly, almost mocking me. 
I sigh. I expected a lot of things. But I didn’t expect him to literally send me on my way without even giving me a fair chance. 
“What’s it going to take?” I ask, exasperated. I’m tired. I’ve just worked all night. I’m beyond entertaining this man any longer “Just tell me what I have to do?”
But he doesn’t speak. Of course he doesn’t. He just studies me. It’s like I can see his brain ticking. 
Until I get an idea.
“You know what. Sit down. I’m making you a drink” 
“No,” he interrupts her immediately “I have to go and-“
“Come on,” I cut him off, with nothing left to lose “Appease me” 
He takes a deep breathing, looking up to the ceiling as if he’s trying to gather patience “Fine. One drink” 
I burst into a wide grin, feeling like I have a chance again. With a spring in my step, I make my way around the bar, concocting the same drink I used to make for my father. 
When I place it down in front of him, he examines it, a disapproving look on his face. 
“Oh come on I didn’t poison it”
“Not funny” he shakes his head, before bringing it to his lips hesitantly. 
He takes a sip. And another. And another. 
I got him.
He finishes the drink, and I smirk, waiting for him to admit that it was good. 
“Okay so you can make a drink” I dismisses me, unimpressed. 
This man is something else. I can’t pick him. 
“Alright” I shake my head, giving up “Just tell me what you’re thinking”
He pauses “I don’t know if I trust you”
“I’m not asking to run your business” I reassure him “I’m asking to pour beer so I can afford somewhere to live”
“Well I don’t know anything about you” he retorts “I need to know who I’m letting into this family”
“You haven’t asked me anything” 
He opens his mouth to reply, but closes it again. He knows I’m right. 
“You’ve only jumped to conclusions about me. So go on, what do you want to know? I’m an open book” 
He shakes his head, taking less time in between replying now. Like I’ve gotten him fired up and his normally carefully crafted responses are getting hastier. 
“I don’t want to know your favourite colour, I want to know that you don’t have ulterior motives” He reveals. 
“I do” I reply shortly “Who doesn’t?”
He glares at me.
“I want to live in the country. I want to save my money and buy a place. I want to live comfortably. I want to work and be treated like an equal. This may come as a shock to you, but I have no idea who you are and who your family is. I moved here one week ago. The only jobs going are for nanny’s and maids. I saw the ad. I put my name down because I’m good at this. And I don’t want to clean someone’s house for a living. So there…” I pause, letting my words sink “Not everyone has sinister motives you know”
And for the first time, he’s looking at me like he’s actually listening. Like he doesn’t have anything else to say. I search his face, trying to find some kind of indication. Did I go too far? Did I cross a line? 
“And it’s purple” I add, trying to lighten the mood “My favourite colour is purple”
And all of a sudden, he laughs. Okay, maybe it was more of a scoff. But it is the most emotion I’ve seen on his face all day. 
He shakes is head at me, like he’s astonished that I won’t give up. 
“Lot’s of business goes down here. You do not utter a word of it to anyone” He says seriously, his face turning grave and serious. 
“I get paid to listen, not to talk” I nod.
He nods back, and then, he holds a hand out. 
Oh my god. He’s offering me the job.
I quickly take his hand, shaking it firmly to try and show confidence. 
With that, he heads back towards the doors that he came in.
“See you tomorrow, Boss” I call out to him, unable to contain my excitement.
He looks back at me, shaking his head, but I swear I could see the faintest smile on his hollow cheeks. 
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prettygreenpills · 1 year
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Hey, I’d like to make a Saturday request. Could you write a polly gray x fem reader fluff where y/n is her daughter but polly thought that she had died but several years they reunite and a whole lot of emotions and that if that makes any sense. Thanks
Hello, sure! Enjoy the reading bestie, if you’d like, check out “Coming home” from my masterlist
Characters: Polly Gray x fem!reader
Rundown: you are brought back to your mother after Thomas found out you didn’t die
Warnings: mentions of death, reuniting, etc.
Request status: saturday requests
A/n: y/n’s middle name is Anna
“So… she thinks I am dead?” You asked from your cousin you met few months ago. His name was Thomas Shelby and to be honest, after he told you who he was, you didn’t trust him at all. But after all those days you had spent with him, he made you believe that it was safe to talk to him.
“Yes,” he said without putting a napkin in front of his mouth and you started nodding your head and tried to process the new information you just got. Your mother thought that you were dead.
“You said that I have a brother,” you started another topic, but still stayed at you family. You found it pretty calming since at that moment you were walking on a street and as Thomas described it to you, your mother was supposed to live somewhere at the end of the street.
“Yes you have. His name is Michael Gray,” Thomas explained to you and your heart started beating faster.
“Is he here?”
“Yes, he should be with your mother now.” He answered you simply and then he looked at you, seeing the question in your eyes. “He is seventeen, a year younger than you.”
Taking a deep breath you didn’t even realize that you both stopped in the middle of the path. You looked to the left where the house was. Your mother lived in it. Your mother was in there.
“Can I- can I get some time alone?” You asked from Thomas and he looked at the house. When he pulled out a package of cigarettes, he took out the fourth today and searched for matches. You believed it meant that you could get some time alone and you just looked at the house.
The woman who gave birth to you eighteen years ago was in there. The woman who gave up on you, but Thomas said she had to. You didn’t know what to believe and only way to find out was walking inside of the house and ask her, face to face.
Closing your eyes you tried to calm down. You were about to meet your mother and even tho you thought you were ready for that, your body wasn’t. You took few deep breaths, realizing how your throat got swollen and closed your eyes to deal with it on your own.
Few minutes passed. Thomas pulled out another cigarette and you were thinking about that if he was nervous as well or if it was just some kind of routine for him. When you kept watching him for a little longer, he looked at you. You didn’t want to make him wait more so you nodded your head and took a deep breath, looking at the house. So he would understand.
“Are you sure?”
“I am,” you told him and Thomas put his cigarette down. You took a deep breath as he took the very first step in the direction of the doors and you followed him. Your hands were sweating and you tried to wipe them in your clothes without Thomas noticing.
“Would you like to tell her what happened or should I?” He asked you when he stopped in front of the wooden doors. You stood next to him and closed your eyes.
“I will try,” you said and Thomas nodded his head. You supposed that he would push the doorbell or knock, but he took out a key and unlocked the doors. Surprise appeared in your face when he stepped inside of the house.
“Take off your coat, then we will search for Polly,” he said and you nodded your head, taking your coat off slowly. Your mind was full of questions, of those you had been thinking about since you found out the people who had been taking care of you weren’t your parents. You wanted to ask her why has she left you. You wanted to ask her if she hasn’t loved you and if that was the reason she left you. And when you heard some doors shut, you almost jumped.
“Who is it?” You heard a woman’s voice and warmth spilled in your chest. Somehow, you knew that it was your mother, but you had a need to see her.
“Me Pol,” Thomas spoke up and when no answer came from the woman, he nodded to you as a sign you could walk further inside of the house. You nodded your head and took a slow step forward.
As you walked through the doors which were dividing the hall and the room, your eyes immediately looked around and you were surprised by how did the house look like from inside. In a good way. There were another doors in front of you and you knew that the woman who was your mother was behind them. Thomas walked past you and when he was about to open them, he looked at you.
“Ready?”
“Y-yeah-“ you said and swallowed really hardly. Thomas opened the doors and walked inside, holding them open for you.
“Hey Pol.”
“Thomas,” she just said and nodded her head what you couldn’t see. Thomas looked at you to let you know you could walk inside and you really walked in, taking slow steps.
“I came to introduce you someone.” He said only and you looked inside of the room, finding the woman watching Thomas.
As soon as she realized some movement, her eyes started burning you. She looked at you, at frost she didn’t realize what was happening. You looked her into her eyes and didn’t say anything, you just waited for the realization to hit the woman.
Polly kept watching you. You saw something happening behind her eyes. Her brain was working on two hundred percent and you could almost see the puzzles getting together.
“Thomas?” She looked at him and when he nodded, woman’s hands flew to her mouth and she covered it, tears filling her eyes.
“Polly,” he said, making a dramatic pause with a sigh you hated him for, “This is Y/n Anna Gray. Your daughter,” he said simply and Polly shook her head. Tears started running down her cheeks and she kept shaking her head. For some reason you felt special and at the same time you felt like she didn’t want you.
“I-It can’t be- it can’t be-“
“Here,” Thomas said and pulled out some paper. Your birth certificate. He placed it onto the table besides him and waited. The woman looked aside and as if you weren’t even there, she took the birth certificate into her hands, reading it, while her tears were falling onto the paper.
You stayed quiet until the woman wasn’t finished with the reading. When she just kept watching the paper and didn’t look up, you knew that it was unbelievable for her. That you were standing in the same room she was, after all those years.
Brown eyes looked up and met another pair of brown eyes. The eyelids which seemed to be heavy were wide opened and you saw her pupil twitching from side to side. Tears rolled down her cheeks once more and you gifted the woman with a gentle smile.
“Anna?”
“Yes,” you answered her and waited for her reaction. But what she did wasn’t what you’ve imagined before. She rushed over to Thomas and hugged him. Her eyes were closed and her chin was resting on his shoulder closer to you, so you could see her face.
“Thank you. Thank you so much-“ the woman started sobbing and you looked away. Or seemed to be something really sensitive for her and you didn’t want to join something what you shouldn’t have joined.
“I told you I’ll bring them home,” Thomas said and you realized that the woman, your mother pulled away from him. She looked straight at you and you gulped.
“Oh Anna,” she breathed out and made a careful step towards you. You took a deep breath and when she hugged you, you closed your eyes, feeling everything inside of you shake. “Where have you been? Thomas said you died of Spring fever? What happened?”
“Well-“ you started, swallowing hardly. “Uhm…”
“Should I start?” Thomas asked you and you shook your head. You knew that you were ready to talk about it, you just didn’t know how to begin.
“I was sick. I almost died of the sickness I had and then… someone took care of me. I didn’t know who she was until she didn’t explain everything to me. I thought that every single member of my family has died and then… Thomas found me. And here I am.” You said, not knowing if you should look up at the woman or not.
When you heard a sob, you looked up. The woman was crying as if she couldn’t believe it was really you.
“Would you like me to leave you both alone now?” Thomas asked and Polly looked at you. You knew that the decision landed on you and you nodded your head. You thought it would be better.
As he left the room and you stayed with the woman alone, she offered you to take a seat. You sat down really carefully and caught her watching you.
“Would you like anything? Tea or?”
“Tea would be great,” you told her with a little smile and the woman started immediately preparing the tea.
“So… how did you get here? How did you meet Thomas?”
“I met him some time ago,” you said and earned a look from the woman. “Few weeks. At first he kept visiting us and then he explained to my… to the people I lived with, what happened,” you said and Polly put the cup with tea in front of you.
“Few weeks?”
“Yeah. And then he told me everything about you. That I was taken away from you. And I know that I have a brother too, I was told he is here,” you said carefully and Polly nodded her head.
“Yes, he does the accounting in the company- I mean- I bet this is too many information for you, I can tell you later.” She said and you nodded your head as a sign you understood the woman. “Where are you staying now?” She asked you and you blinked few times.
“Well… I live at Tommy’s,” you said and didn’t know if you caused more pain to the woman than before or not. She nodded her head and kept quiet for a while.
“If you’d like to, you can come over anytime. And if you’ll want to one day, you can come and live with me,” she said and this all seemed to be a little soon for you.
“Sure,” you said only, looking up at your mother you met for the first time today. She seemed to be a really kind person. As kind as the people you had lived with seemed. You smiled a little and then looked away from her.
You were finally with your relative. With your mother. And since that moment it was supposed to be only better and better.
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hiluvd · 1 month
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Arthur Shelby (gogolmoskidney is me, inst/tg channel)
#peakyblinders #arthurshelby #poster #dossier #peaky
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milfjagger · 8 months
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now that both my younger siblings have graduated with firsts i can claim my rightful title as the flop eldest #arthurshelby
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