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bitsandbobsofwriting · 3 years

Text

Kilgharrah: “Kill that child, Merlin.”

Merlin (like a normal person): “No?? What the fuck???”

And with that, everything changed.

Part 2 Part 3(final part)

“You must let the boy die.”

Kilgharrah’s voice echoed incessantly through Merlin’s head for days after the Druid boy’s appearance, and subsequent disappearance.

Merlin had, of course, ignored the scaly old bastard, and hadn’t once questioned if he’d done the right thing by hiding Mordred away in his tiny bedroom.

If the boy truly had such a terrible destiny, then the best thing for Merlin to do was to keep him close, if not to steer him away from his fate, then to at least be able to see it coming if it was indeed inevitable.

Currently, Morgana was the only one aware that Mordred was still here (other than Gaius of course, who was somehow disapproving and proud at the same time). As far as everyone else was concerned, Arthur and Uther included, the boy was never found, and must have slipped out of the city somehow (going by the extra patrols in the woods, as opposed to the castle and town).

The Warlock was nervous about anyone knowing at first, but when Morgana had tearfully thanked him for saving Mordred, and proceeded to sneak in spare blankets, food, and money for clothes, Merlin was glad for the co-conspirator.

The boy was currently curled up in the corner of Merlin’s room, a pile of blankets and pillows organised like a bird’s nest around him, wearing a soft shirt and sleeping the night away.

Merlin watched him from his bed, realising with growing horror just how protective of Mordred he had already become. He was so young. How could Merlin even consider punishing a child for some stupid destiny he didn’t even know about?

He had to think of a solution quickly. He couldn’t risk sending him away, not even to the Druids, they were as much slaves to the so-called prophecies as Kilgharrah was, and Merlin had once been (”Gods. Sounds like I’ve been dealing with destiny for years. It’s been like six months. I’m too young for this shit.”). But equally... what could he do with him??

Thankfully, no one had really gotten a good look at the boy, so hopefully with a change of clothes and a haircut, he wouldn’t be recognised, at least not if Merlin came up with a convincing enough story.

To be honest... the cover story worried him far more than the prospect of someone recognising him. Uther hadn’t recognised Nimueh, the woman who had been his court sorceress for years... the man was apparently not very observant.

In the end, it was a throwaway comment by Morgana a few days later, about a week after the Druid boy had “escaped” that gave Merlin a very stupid idea. So stupid, that it might just work.

Morgana had once again snuck away from the main castle to sit with Merlin and Mordred in the servant’s room.

Gaius had said nothing as she’d entered the Physician’s chambers, enough food for four hidden away in the picnic basket she carried, just raised his eyebrow slightly, and thanked The Lady for the food offering that was definitely-not-a-bribe.

She gave him a quick wink, and the old physician rolled his eyes fondly as he set an overturned bucket in front of the door; if anyone came in, they would come in loudly.

Mordred was happy to see her, and Merlin hid a fond smile at the boy’s quiet giggles. He still didn’t speak much, so it was a relief to see him finding joy in something, even if it was clandestine visits from Uther’s ward.

She ruffled his hair slightly, resisting the urge to pull the touch averse boy into a tight hug, and set the basket on the bed. Merlin sat against the pillows, and Morgana sat down opposite him, the basket in between them as Mordred clambered up to sit just in front of Merlin.

Morgana and Merlin talked quietly as they ate, Mordred staying silent as the adults (or...as adult as they could get. Like Merlin kept thinking to himself, he was too young for this shit at sixteen, and Morgana was only two years older than him) avoided the elephant in the room.

The elephant being that they couldn’t keep this up forever. Arthur had a habit of bursting in whenever he so pleased, and it was a miracle he hadn’t done so already. Plus, it would be cruel to expect Mordred to stay cooped up in here for much longer. He was a child, he deserved to play outside and explore and do all the other things he couldn’t do in Merlin’s bedroom.

Once they finished eating, Mordred moved to his makeshift bed in the corner, tightly clutching a book that Morgana had bought him, and furrowing his brows in concentration as he read.

Morgana stared at him with a soft smile, and Merlin sighed, once again worrying about his new ward’s future.

Morgana tilts her head, as if a sudden thought had occurred to her, and looks slowly between Merlin and Mordred as the servant raises a questioning eyebrow at her.

“You know Merlin, the two of you look remarkably similar.”

Mordred is engrossed in his book, and doesn’t react at all to Morgana’s quiet comment, but Merlin’s eyebrow goes even higher as he huffs out a laugh:

“You think? I don’t see it.”

Morgana looks at him with a deadpan expression:

“Merlin, you don’t have a mirror in here. I’m fairly certain you have no concept of what you look like.-”

Merlin looks indignantly offended for all of two seconds before he sighs and nods, she’s right to be fair. He’s tall-ish, with pale skin, and he thinks he has brown hair. That’s about all he knows.

Morgana chuckles as she once again looks at Mordred:

“You both have very dark hair, bright blue eyes, pale skin. You know...-”

She looks back at him with a thoughtful frown on her face:

“-if someone told me you were brothers... I’d believe it.”

Merlin raises an eyebrow:

“Really?”

She nods decisively:

“Yeah. I mean, the more I think about it, the more I look between you, yes. You could definitely be related.”

Merlin nods his head slowly, thinking. He takes in a deep breath and tilts his head slightly:

“It could work. I haven’t really talked to anyone about my family so... we could say that... he came to live with me? Because life here is... good?”

Morgana snorts slightly, rolling her eyes before looking back at him seriously:

“You’d have to be more convincing than that. You could say that the harvest was poor in your village? That Mordred was better off coming to stay with his big brother in the big city?”

Merlin nods at her words, grimacing slightly as he mutters:

“If we’re running with the whole... brother thing, I need to write a letter to my mum, just in case. Gods she’s going to laugh so much.”

Morgana laughs at him quietly, but the noise finally catches Mordred’s attention and he looks up in confusion. Merlin moves the basket to the floor, and gestures to the boy to come over.

He walks over wordlessly, climbing up to kneel between them, biting his lip nervously.

“Is it time for me to leave, Emrys?” echoes through Merlin’s head, and he gives the boy a comforting smile, shaking his head slightly, before saying out loud:

“You’re staying with me, Mordred-”

The boy smiles slightly as he stares at Merlin in reverence, and Morgana quickly hides her questioning gaze. She could see that there was more between them than simple protectiveness over a child, and thankfulness for being saved, but she kept her thoughts to herself as Merlin continued:

“-but we can’t keep you hidden in here forever, so we’re going to tell people that you’re my younger brother, come to live with me. Is that alright?”

Mordred nods his head vigorously, and Merlin chuckles slightly as the boy’s grin grew:

“Ok. We’ll get you a haircut and tell Gaius the plan. Probably wait a few more days for things to settle down further, and then see how it goes, ok?”

Mordred nods once more, smile not leaving his face. Morgana bites her lip to stop herself from laughing at Merlin’s shocked face when the boy threw himself into the servant’s arms for a tight hug.

Merlin spends the next few days teaching Mordred all about Ealdor and his mother and Will, so that the boy could have at least a little knowledge on what was supposedly his home and family.

The next time Morgana came to visit, she brought a comb and a sharp pair of scissors, as well as a few more changes of clothes that looked less... Druid. By the time she left that evening, Mordred had much shorter hair, and a wide grin on his face at the prospect of finally being able to go outside (he was Druid after all, he needed trees and fresh air).

The letter had been sent home, and Merlin was expecting a reply any day now. The only thing left to worry about was how to hide Mordred’s Druid marking. It would be easy to cover with clothes, but Uther’s increasing paranoia meant that it would be best if they could find a more permanent solution.

Gaius suggested some sort of glamour spell fairly quickly, but Merlin was unwilling to cast one on the boy until he’d mastered it.

And THAT meant showing up to serve Arthur with ink all over his hands that he had tried and failed to cover.

Merlin had also realised with dawning horror, that he would have to tell Morgana the truth. She knew about the marking, and she was smart, there was no way that hiding it wasn’t something that had occurred to her. She would bring it up eventually, and how could Merlin explain without having to... explain??

Morgana was already risking her favour with the King, and frankly, her life, by protecting a Druid... she would do the same for Merlin, right? But Mordred hadn’t actually done any magic... BUT she’d always spoken against executions... BUT Merlin had lied and hidden it from her, his friend...

Hmm...

In the end, he’d decided he would just have to suck it up, and tell her. Fuck whatever that dragon said. After Kilgharrah’s last round of... advice, Merlin had been ignoring his calls. If there was an emergency, the cryptic bastard would tell him, and until then he could just sulk in that cave on his own.

That two weeks was also enough for Uther to become convinced that the mysterious Druid boy really was long gone, and to just forget about it. He was pissed of course, but talking about it and extending the search just highlighted that a child, barely eleven summers, had managed to evade all of his forces and that... did not cast him in a good light.

It took Merlin about two weeks to fully master the spell, which was longer than the three of them were hoping, but he was adamant that he perfect it before he cast it on Mordred, and Gaius was incredibly impressed at his ward’s determination.

Morgana was of course confused about why they kept pushing it back, she thought they were only going to wait a few days before they started introducing Mordred, but she trusted Merlin and saw no harm in waiting a little longer.

When Morgana arrived that evening, she could tell that Merlin was... anxious. They’d agreed on a specific day to make introductions but it wasn’t until the end of this week, it didn’t make any sense for Merlin to suddenly be nervous about it.

Mordred wasn’t quite as good at hiding his emotions, and didn’t even giggle like he normally did when Morgana came over, just stared at his “brother” anxiously.

Morgana rolled her eyes and huffed as she shut the door:

“Alright, Merlin. What is it? Spit it out.”

Merlin opened his mouth, about to come out with an excuse, before he snapped it shut again and took a deep breath.

It worried him, how easy, how automatic it was for him to lie, but that was a worry for another time.

Mordred reached up and took his hand, squeezing it, and Merlin looked down at him with a weak smile before sitting on the bed and gesturing that Morgana join him.

She looked at him worriedly, but settles where he gestures, and doesn’t acknowledge the way Mordred sits defensively between them.

The boy looks back at Merlin:

“Are you sure, Emrys?”

Merlin gives him another smile, and squeezes his shoulder slightly as he raises an eyebrow:

“I’m sure. And you need to get used to calling me Merlin at some point.”

Mordred pouts slightly, and Merlin ruffles his hair as he laughs, before looking back up at Morgana’s questioning stare.

He takes another deep breath, before slowly speaking:

“I... we’ve found a way to properly hide Mordred’s marking.”

Morgana looks taken aback, but relieved:

“Oh. Is that all? That’s good isn’t it? I have to admit, it was worrying me.”

Merlin gulps:

“Yeah it... it is good... it’s just, it involves... magic.”

Morgana raises her eyebrow, and nods slowly, as if it were obvious:

“I figured it would be. It’s not like it would be easy or reliable to cover it with make-up every morning, or hide it with clothes.-”

It’s Merlin’s turn to look taken aback now, and Mordred fixes her with an unreadable expression. Morgana continues:

“-The problem, lies in finding someone willing to do whatever spell it is. Someone we could trust wouldn’t share the secret, no matter what.”

Merlin grimaces slightly, more gulping, and taking yet another deep breath:

“We already have someone. Me.”

Morgana gasps slightly, and she’s vaguely aware of the brothers in front of her tensing up, but all she can focus on is the gold of Merlin’s irises.

The gold fades, and Merlin clears his throat, breaking her out of her stupor. She reaches over and punches Merlin harshly on the arm before getting up and beginning to pace, speechless.

Merlin and Mordred panic at first, but when she makes no moves towards the door in her pacing, they relax. That only lasts for a moment or two however, before she looks back to Merlin, furious:

“Are you thick Merlin? Why on earth would you learn magic in Camelot of all places?? Do you have a death wish!?”

Merlin laughs slightly, cheeks turning pink as he rubs the back of his neck:

“Actually uh... I was born with magic; I’ve always had it. My mother sent me here because she thought I would learn to control it better.”

Morgana looks incredulous as she continues to rant:

“What? With the fear of execution hanging over your head?! That’s not control, that’s terror.”

Merlin shrugs:

“It works though. My magic is mostly instinctual, the threat of torture by pyre sure as hell stops me from losing control when I’m angry or scared or whatever...”

Morgana huffs, crossing her arms and fixing him with a glare. Both Merlin and Mordred cower slightly as they are reminded of angry and disproving mothers; as if they were about to be scolded for getting their clothes dirty, or ruining their dinner with too many snacks.

She just stares at him for a minute, before she sags slightly, and begins chuckling at the boys’ fearful faces:

“You are ridiculous. But it’s far too late to persuade you to leave now. Does Arthur know?”

Merlin’s face morphs into a mournful frown, as he looks to the floor and mumbles:

“No. I wish I could tell him but... with Uther...”

Morgana sighs, putting a comforting hand on his shoulder:

“Uther won’t be here forever. We’ll just have to keep Arthur from turning into too much of a prat before he becomes King.-”

Merlin laughs at that, and looks up to give the woman a grateful smile. She returns his smile before continuing:

“-So, you can do the spell?”

Merlin winces slightly and gestures for Mordred to pull the collar of his shirt down, to reveal a blank patch of skin:

“I’ve actually already done it. It’ll stay there permanently until I take it off. Though we should keep checking, just in case.”

Morgana looks surprised, and smiles:

“What’s the problem then?-”

She rolls her eyes when Merlin looks at her incredulously:

“-Oh, come on Merlin. I’m not going to turn you in, you’re safe with me. You both are, and you always will be.”

The servant jumps up to give her a tight hug, which she quickly returns as Mordred nervously joins in. Morgana smiles to herself, and squeezes her boys tighter.

She may love Uther and Arthur, and she knew they loved her back, in their own way, but this? This was family.

The time finally came for Merlin to introduce his baby brother. Hunith had supposedly dropped him off late last night and left immediately, having to get back home quickly.

Morgana had gone to gather Gwen and Arthur whilst Merlin and Mordred waited in their room (it was definitely their room now, instead of just Merlin’s).

It was early in the morning, and to say that Arthur was grumpy at being woken by Morgana instead of Merlin, was an understatement.

But he eventually caved, and dressed himself as he grumbled, allowing Morgana to drag him to meet Gwen (who was equally confused) before the three of them made their way to the Physician’s chambers.

Gaius was suspiciously absent, and Morgana knocked on Merlin’s door, before slowly opening it and walking in, Arthur and Gwen following her quickly.

Gwen was surprised at the sight of Merlin stood behind a child, hands protectively on his shoulders, but smiled and gave Mordred a soft wave in greeting.

Arthur however, froze, and stared at the boy with a shocked expression.

Morgana moved to stand next to Mordred, and took one of his hands as Merlin began to speak:

“Gwen, Arthur, I want you to meet my baby brother, Mordred. He’s come to live with me.”

Gwen waved again, and bent over to Mordred’s height:

“Hi Mordred, I’m Guinevere, but all my friends call me Gwen. I didn’t know that Merlin had a brother, but it’s lovely to meet you.”

Mordred gave her a small smile, and Merlin suppressed a chuckle as-

“I like her, Em- Merlin.”

-echoed through his head.

Arthur’s gaze moved away from Mordred finally, up to Merlin.

Merlin stared back at him blankly, but Arthur saw the way his jaw clenched as he moved a protective hand down, to pull Mordred closer to him.

The Prince let out a deep sigh, growling slightly as Gwen looked at him in confusion, and Morgana and Merlin stared at him challengingly.

He shook his head as his shoulders sagged, and he rubbed at his eyes with the palms of his hands before looking back to Mordred with a strained smile:

“It’s nice to meet you, Mordred. My name’s Arthur.”

With that, Morgana smirks slightly, and Merlin relaxes. Gwen just rolls her eyes:

“Sorry about him Mordred, he doesn’t spend much time around people your age.”

Mordred gives her another smile, and Merlin glances to Gwen, before looking down at Mordred:

“Why don’t you go with Morgana and Gwen to see the city a little? Me and Arthur need to talk, I’ll catch up with you later, ok?”

Mordred turns around quickly, and grabs Merlin’s hand tightly:

“You promise??”

Gwen holds in an “awww” and Morgana hides her smile. Mordred rarely talks aloud (she’d been told of the mental link), but she’s glad to see he was feeling at least a little more comfortable.

Merlin crouches down, and pulls the boy into a tight hug, stroking his hair slightly as he stares straight at Arthur:

“I promise. I’ll never leave you for long Mordred.”

Arthur gulps at Merlin’s hard stare, but gives him an almost imperceptible nod, which Merlin returns as he stands up. Mordred gives him one more look as he takes one of Morgana’s hands, and one of Gwen’s, and follows them out of the room.

Morgana shuts the door quietly, and Arthur sighs again before looking at Merlin:

“What are you thinking Merlin?? You just thought I wouldn’t notice?”

Merlin crosses his arms, his glare still hard:

“No, I knew you would notice, I just had faith that you’re a better man than your father.”

Arthur is still deep in his “my father can do no wrong” faze, and takes great offense at that, taking a threatening step forward and growling:

“And what’s that supposed to mean?”

Merlin just huffs and raises an eyebrow slightly:

“I had assumed that you were not the type of man to have a child executed, just for existing.-”

Merlin copies Arthur’s step forward, raising his chin and continuing, his voice low and dangerous:

“-Did I assume correctly? Because there is nothing I wouldn’t do to protect that kid, Arthur. Nothing.”

Arthur stares at him incredulously, only managing to hold Merlin’s surprisingly confident stare for a few moments, before nodding and stepping back:

“Of course. He’s a child, Merlin, I won’t see him hurt, if I can help it.”

Merlin nods slowly, not looking away from Arthur as he softly says:

“I’ll hold you to that.-”

He walks around The Prince, opening the door and stepping halfway through before looking over his shoulder, and quietly saying to a confused Arthur:

“-If you truly believed that all magic is evil, and always corrupted, no matter what, then you wouldn’t care that he’s a child; you’d want him dead anyway. So perhaps think about your... prejudices, a little more deeply, maybe you’ll discover you are different to Uther in other ways as well.”

Before Arthur can even really process what Merlin said, the servant is shutting the door behind him, and rushing off to find his new brother.

OK SO!!!

I really LOVED writing this, there will definitely be more parts, I just figured I should end it here before I got carried away

This series is finished!! (Links at the top <3 )

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a-small-batch-of-dragons · 3 years

Text

End of His Rope

Prompts: Don't know if you're in the mood to write some Merthur but if you are, being the hurt/comfort royalty that you are, may I humbly request a little "shatter my soul" misunderstanding? If not that's fine too. - alittletoo-obsessed

So, I've been rereading some of your Merlin fics, and I was wondering if you could maybe write something where Merlin's experienced some sort of trauma before he came to Camelot, and so he's always avoiding things or reacting strangely, but Arthur assumes that's just his personality, but then something seemingly innocuous happens and he just breaks down completely in front of Arthur, & Arthur can't understand why. Cue Arthur trying to help him and Merlin eventually having to explain everything. - anon

Our BOYS i did miss them

Read on Ao3

Warnings: childhood trauma, flashbacks, drowning

Pairings: merthur, platonic or romantic don't care

Word Count: 3682

It’s always the water in his dreams.

Dark. Lapping at the stone walls. Bottomless.

The chain clanks heavily against the sides.

It’s so deep.

The rope is never long enough.

—————

Arthur has no idea why he had to get assigned the weirdest servant in Camelot.

Sure, it’s not like he asked for Merlin to be his servant—and he’ll kill you if you tell him this, but he’s not changing Merlin for the world—but come on, he could’ve at least gotten someone normal.

But no, he has to get this clumsy fool of a bumpkin that insists on tripping over his own feet, stumbling into walls, spending days at a time who knows where—he’s good friends with the tavern owner so he knows Merlin’s not there—and occasionally spouting great wisdom seemingly off the top of his head. And to top it all off, he’s endearing enough that Arthur panics whenever Merlin’s not right next to him.

It’s terribly annoying.

But that—well, most of that—he can forgive. Merlin’s a clumsy fool but he’s a good distraction. He’s a forgetful sod but he’s witty enough to make up for whatever time he’s lost with some sort of solution. He’s a disrespectful clot pole but it’s a welcome relief from all this ‘yes, sire,’ ‘no, sire,’ ‘would you prefer pork or poultry, sire?’ It gets a bit grating every now and then.

And alright, maybe Merlin’s not entirely to blame for how endearing Arthur finds him. Maybe.

But the whole thing about water Arthur will never understand.

The first time he asked Merlin to draw him a bath he thought the man was about to fall over. Merlin had gone pale and stammered out that yes, he would do that, how does he do that? He’d assumed it was because Merlin was shirking from his duties or whatnot but he hadn’t asked any of the other servants to help him, instead drawing the water for Arthur all by himself. Bemused, Arthur had told him he’s allowed to get help, only for Merlin to go on one of those impressive rants about how servants were people too, and interrupting their jobs seemed rude. Which, alright fair enough but it didn’t erase the pale and shaken expression from his face.

The first time he walked in on Merlin trying to clean the floor, he stopped and stared at the bucket sitting in the farthest corner of the room.

“You know it’s more efficient to keep the bucket with you, right?”

Merlin shrugs. “You have an issue with how I clean the floor, you are more than welcome to do it yourself.”

Arthur had scoffed and turned to leave but the tension in Merlin’s shoulders had stayed.

The first time he met Merlin in the courtyard and tries to walk past the well was the first time Merlin had strayed from his side.

“And of course, you’ll need to make sure all of my armor is…” Arthur trails off, looking around for Merlin, only to notice him a few paces away. “What the hell are you doing over there?”

“Walking.”

“Get back here,” Arthur barks, “I’m not done.”

“I can hear you perfectly fine over here.”

“Merlin—hey!”

“Sorry, sire!” A carriage blows right by them, Merlin reaching out to yank Arthur closer by his sleeve as it goes by. “Didn’t see you there!”

Arthur mutters a curse and brushes himself off.

“That’s why,” Merlin says, helping him dust himself off, “don’t want you to get run over by a wagon, now.”

Arthur cuffs him half-heartedly over the head and keeps walking.

He tries again a few times but Merlin studiously avoids the well with a grace that he scarcely applies to anything else.

It hits him when they’re out hunting once that Merlin might just hate getting wet.

So he pushes him into a pond.

Merlin splutters and curses at him and purposefully dumps all the arrows into the pond with him so they’re useless for hunting but he knows how to swim and if the way he slings his sodden neckerchief at Arthur is any indication, he’s not entirely opposed to the water.

And yes, the day was hot and maybe a water fight was the best way to cool off.

It only ever happens when they’re in Camelot. Sometimes Merlin will accidentally kick one of the buckets and it looks like he’s about to jump out of his skin. Arthur chuckles at him and calls him a delicate pansy but it’s only ever that loud noise. Not when the bells are going off—they really need to get better security for the dungeons—not when Merlin drops another tray, only the bucket.

And he still won’t go near the well.

Merlin must just not like it. That’s fine.

Doesn’t mean he’s going to get out of his chores, though.

He watches Merlin go about his day, watches him change the sheets, do up the rest of the room, get the laundry, but he never goes into the courtyard. He frowns when Merlin does ask someone else—Lilian, he thinks her name is—to go get a bucket of water for him, but there’s nothing quite like the way that Merlin lingers at the very edge of the courtyard, his gaze on a constant swivel, trying to see something that isn’t there.

It’s unnerving.

But it’s Merlin, and Merlin is strange, so Arthur just shrugs and moves on.

—————

Merlin wakes up in a cold sweat.

He wraps his arms around himself and scrambles to the floor. Dust cakes itself over his shins and forearms and he heaves a sob.

The hand on his shoulder that branded him so many years ago hums with the feeling of Arthur’s glove.

—————

“Leave it,” Arthur says, patting Merlin’s shoulder as he walks by, “we’ll get the next one.”

He steers Merlin away from the well toward the castle door, the dropped bucket rolling across the stones. Behind them, Lilian lowers another bucket into the well, the soft splash-thunk of the water and the creak of the handle. Arthur shakes his head.

“Why does it have to be so bloody hot?”

“It’s summer,” Merlin mumbles, clearly feeling the heat too by the sweat beaded on his brow, “it’s supposed to be hot.”

“Not this hot.” Arthur shakes his head, dismayed when his hair sticks to his forehead. “We should be inside.”

“You’re the one that dragged us out here, sire.”

“Enough. Come on. I’m sure there’s somewhere cooler we could be sitting.”

They make their way back into the castle, Merlin immediately going to draw the curtains to block out the hideous light of the sun as Arthur flops down onto his bed and scrubs his hands over his face.

“You’ll get your sheets all sweaty.”

“Everything in this castle is already sweaty,” Arthur mumbles, “what’s a few sheets?”

“Well, when you have to sleep on them tonight, that will be your problem.”

“Please. I’ve slept in worse.”

“Mm.” Merlin swats him with a pillow. “You’ve also complained about your room being too hot more times than I can count. Move.”

“You move,” he manages as he peels himself off the bed and onto the floor. “Why is it so hot, Merlin?”

“I told you, it’s summer.”

Arthur squints. “You’re wearing so many clothes.”

“It is polite to wear clothes, Arthur.”

“But you’re wearing a jacket and long sleeves and a scarf and long trousers! How are you not hot?”

Merlin shrugs. “I run cold.”

“C’mere then.” Arthur holds out his hand. “I’m too hot. Cool me off.”

Merlin rolls his eyes. “You’d have better luck sticking your head in a casket of mead.”

“Merlin.”

“You would,” Merlin sings, “but then you’d be even stickier than you are now.”

“Fine.” His head falls back against the bed with a thud. “Maybe I’ll just jump in water next time.”

He’s too hot to notice the way that Merlin stiffens.

—————

Merlin pants and heaves and scrabbles at the floor. It’s real, he’s really dry, it’s safe, there’s nowhere to go down.

He shivers on the cold floor and reaches for a blanket, wrapping himself in it tightly and clutching the fabric to his face. It scratches horribly and he rubs his cheek into it.

Rough is safe. Dust is safe. Warm is safe.

There’s nowhere to go.

High above Camelot, dark clouds begin to swirl in the sky, carrying with them the promise of rain.

—————

Arthur sighs as he slumps under the edge of the stable. Really, a rainstorm? Right now? The air had a weight to it, hanging over the courtyard like a dirty rag, right up until the heavens burst open and decided to pour over the city. They’d barely made it to the safety of the stable in time before it looked like the storm was doing its best to wash the courtyard clean.

“Well, there goes the plan for the rest of the day.”

Merlin huddles against the stable, shying away from the gutter. “Are we going to try and make it back inside?”

“Unless you fancy a mad dash through the storm, I’d say we’re better off waiting it out.”

Merlin glares at the water like it’s personally insulted Gaius in front of him. Arthur follows his gaze to watch one of the horses finally drag its cart under an overhanging section of roof.

“Seems everyone wants to get out of this rain.”

“Wouldn’t you?”

Arthur sighs before something hits him in the forehead. He glances up.

A raindrop hits him square in the eye.

Biting back a curse, he glances around and spies a bucket.

“Aha!”

“What’re you—Arthur?”

“This should show you,” he mutters, shoving the bucket under the leak, “there. Now try it.”

He looks up to reassure Merlin that he’s fine, he just got hit in the eye with a raindrop, only to see Merlin’s face.

“…Merlin?”

Merlin’s face is ash. His mouth hangs open, his lips dry despite the rain and his lower lip starts to wobble.

“Merlin!”

And Merlin is gone, tearing through the rain like a bat out of hell. Arthur mutters another curse and races after him, barely flinching at the deluge as he tries to keep his eyes on Merlin, Merlin, Merlin, as they dart into the castle and up the stairs.

“Merlin, where are you—slow down, you’re going to—Merlin!”

Merlin trips. He falls.

Arthur reaches out and wraps an arm around Merlin’s waist, just saving him from careening down a staircase.

“Merlin, shh,” he tries, only to have to grunt and struggle to keep a hold of the man as he claws at the air in front of him, “come on—Merlin!”

His room. They need to get to his room.

“Sorry, Merlin,” he mumbles, before swinging the man up—why is he so light?—and making a break for his chambers.

The door slams shut behind him and he lets Merlin go, his chest aching as he watches him fall to the floor, scrabbling madly at the stone until his fingers start to bleed.

“Merlin,” he cries again, dropping to his knees and taking Merlin’s hands in his, “Merlin, look at me!”

His…his eyes…

Arthur has never seen Merlin look like this. He’s never seen him in so much pain.

“Merlin,” he tries, softer this time, “Merlin, it’s alright. You’re safe, I’m right here.”

Finally, finally, Merlin stills. Though still is almost worse, he looks frozen. He swallows.

“…’rthur?”

“Yes, Merlin, it’s me, I’m right here, it’s alright.” He gives Merlin’s hands a gentle squeeze. “What’s—oh!”

Merlin throws himself at him, all but knocking him over as he wraps his arms tightly around his waist. Arthur catches him with a huff, letting him bury his soaking wet face in his jerkin.

“Easy, Merlin, it’s alright,” he laughs nervously, “you’re—well, alright, you idiot, if you…if you need to…”

He says as if he’s not cuddling Merlin already.

Arthur sighs, the dampness of their clothes making it more than a little uncomfortable but not caring in the slightest when Merlin starts to sob into his shoulder.

“Hey, hey, Merlin, it’s alright, I’m right here. You’ve got me, I’ve got you, we’re not going anywhere.” He rubs Merlin’s back firmly and presses his cheek to his wet hair. “I’ve got you.”

Poor Merlin is still shaking like a leaf. Arthur frowns, glaring at the storm with the intent to stare it down until it tells him why the hell it thinks it can hurt his Merlin like this.

“The rain can’t hurt you anymore,” he growls, “we’re inside. You’re safe. Everything’s alright.”

Merlin hiccups. “We’re—it’s—over?”

“The storm isn’t quite through yet, but we’re out of the rain, yes, Merlin, you’re safe.”

“Don’t—want—fall—“

“You can’t fall here, I’ve got you, we’re on the floor.”

“Rope—too short—won’t reach all the way—hurts—“

The roaring protectiveness in his gut starts to give way to confusion, what rope? Where is Merlin trying to go?

“Calm down, Merlin,” he says instead, rubbing his back, “it’s alright, there’s no rope—“

Merlin lets out a howl.

“No, no, no! That’s not—there is a rope,” Arthur tries desperately, “and it’s long enough, we can reach, it’s alright, everyone’s safe, you’re safe, shh, shh…”

The howl buries itself in some soft part of Arthur’s chest. His hands are itching for his sword, something, anything to fight what’s causing Merlin this much pain but he can’t, there’s nothing, so he wraps his arms tighter around Merlin and glares at the storm.

After a long, long time, when their tunics have done their best to meld with their skin, Merlin stills. There’s one more soft hiccup before a cold nose presses itself to Arthur’s neck.

“…Merlin?”

“‘Rthur? Arthur?”

“It’s me, Merlin, I’m right here.”

“Arthur…” Merlin tenses and before Arthur can protest, pulls away. “Sorry.”

“Don’t,” Arthur says sharply, only for Merlin to flinch. He softens his voice and reaches for him. “Don’t pull away, don’t apologize. Are you hurt?”

Merlin lets him wrap an arm around him, thank god. “No. Not hurt.”

Arthur opens his mouth to protest but thinks better of it. “Come on, let’s get you out of these wet clothes. Get dry. Yeah?”

The word ‘dry’ seems to unlock something, Merlin’s limbs flowing looser around his body. “Yeah…”

“Dry it is then,” Arthur says quietly, “come on, there are towels for us to dry off, we can get dry, we’ve got dry clothes here.”

Concern chases its tail around Arthur’s chest as he carefully tousles Merlin’s hair dry as Merlin peels himself out of his soaked clothes. They end up in a sodden heap in the corner, ready to be taken to the laundress’s as Arthur offers Merlin one of his nightshirts.

Merlin looks like a drowned puppy, blinking warily at the proffered shirt.

“Just put it on, Merlin,” Arthur says softly, “it’s dry and warm.”

There’s the magic word again. Merlin tugs on the shirt and wraps his arms around himself. Arthur glances behind him at the bed and prods Merlin’s shoulder.

“Under the covers now,” he murmurs, smiling a little at Merlin’s confusion, “come on, I want to be warm too. And if you still run cold you’re going to need more than that to warm you up.”

Merlin lets him tug them both up to the other end of the bed, under the covers, pulling the sheets up to their chins. Arthur reaches out to take Merlin’s hands and examine them.

“You’re hurt,” he murmurs, “but it shouldn’t last very long. We can go to Gaius if you really need it.”

He glances up to see Merlin’s exhausted little face.

“Hey,” he murmurs, tugging Merlin a little closer, “are you alright?”

“Tired, now,” Merlin mumbles, “and embarrassed.”

“It’s okay.” Arthur pulls him closer. “C’mere.”

“What’re you doing?”

“Warming you up.” And hugging you because you’re still looking like a drowned puppy.

“Oh.” Merlin is all elbows and knees and wet hair, scrunched up under Arthur’s chin, but he relaxes a little. “Thanks.”

“Mm.” Arthur runs a hand over his back. “Want to talk about it?”

Merlin hums. “Not really.”

Arthur bites back a curse and takes his lip between his teeth. “Can I ask what it was that set it off? So it…doesn’t happen again?”

Something warm flares against his neck. “It’s stupid.”

“You just had a breakdown in my arms, Merlin, it’s not stupid.”

“They can both be stupid.”

“Well, they aren’t.”

“You don’t even know what it is yet.”

“It makes you upset,” Arthur says firmly, “it’s not stupid.”

Merlin is quiet for a few moments. Then: “you can ask.”

Good. “Was it the storm?”

“Not really.”

“Was it the rain?”

“Not really.”

Arthur frowns. Then what could it have been? Merlin had been glaring at the storm like he wanted it to go away.

But he was the one to suggest they make a run for it.

As a matter of fact, he’d been fine up until…

Up until Arthur had moved the bucket.

“…Merlin?”

“Yeah?”

“Was it the bucket?”

Merlin stiffens. Then he lets out a long sigh and tucks his face deeper into Arthur’s chest. “Yes.”

“…can I ask why?”

“Do you have to?”

Yes. “No, I don’t, I just…” Arthur takes a deep breath. “I don’t like seeing you like this, Merlin, it…you’re upset and I can’t help and I can’t do anything. It hurts.”

He holds Merlin a little tighter.

“I don’t like seeing you hurt,” he confesses in a whisper, “I want to help.”

Merlin shudders in his arms. “Well that’s not fair,” he says hoarsely, “but…thanks.”

And the story comes spilling out of him.

There is a well on the outskirts of Ealdor. It is old, built before Merlin’s mother can remember, and it has one metal bucket on the end of a long, fraying rope. When there is a drought, the bucket has to be lowered further in order to reach the water.

One year, there was a very bad drought. The well was running dry. So the people of the village decided to build a new well closer to the river with a much longer rope. The old well was not used.

Merlin’s job used to be to fetch the water for the animals at the end of the day. So he would walk to the well. One night, he forgot that the old well wasn’t being used.

He found a pack of the village boys around the old well.

They were laughing and pointing at something inside.

Merlin wandered closer to figure out what was going on.

The bucket sat useless outside the well.

There was a boy inside the well.

Merlin couldn’t see him, it was too dark.

The splashing sounds were getting weaker.

The cries were getting quieter.

The other boys laughed at him when he threw his own bucket down and raced for the other one.

One of them grabbed his arm.

“Don’t, or we’ll throw you in too.”

Merlin had to watch.

The boys left when they couldn’t hear the cries anymore.

Merlin threw down the bucket.

The rope wasn’t long enough.

His mother found him the next morning, the metal bucket by his side long forgotten, his hands all but frozen to the old crank, still peering down into the water.

Arthur’s mouth runs dry as Merlin keeps talking. Unbidden, his arms tighten around the man mumbling into his chest.

He couldn’t have known.

How cruel those boys must have been, how awful it must be for Merlin to keep seeing that, over and over and over…

“I’m sorry,” he says in a strangled whisper when Merlin’s finished. “I’m so sorry.”

Merlin is quiet.

“It wasn’t your fault,” he continues, “it wasn’t, Merlin, it’s—it’s not your fault.”

“The rope wasn’t long enough,” comes the mumble, “I couldn’t save him.”

“Shh, shh, it wasn’t your fault. Don’t blame yourself for the cruelty of others.” Arthur holds him tighter. “I’m sorry, Merlin, you don’t have to go near the well ever again, I promise, we can get someone else to do it.”

Merlin just curls further into his chest.

“You’re safe, you’re dry, everything’s alright, you’ll be fine—“ Arthur can’t stop blabbering on, trying to reassure the poor man in his arms— “I’ve got you, you’re safe.”

Merlin wraps his arms around Arthur too and holds tight. “Don’t have to go near the well?”

“No, no, Merlin, never.”

“Don’t have to use the buckets?”

“No. Only wooden buckets and only when you need to.”

“Don’t have to be wet?”

“You’re dry, I’ll keep you dry.”

“Is there still rope?”

“The ropes are long enough, they’re always long enough.”

“Good,” Merlin mumbles, the exhaustion finally bleeding into his voice, “good…good…”

When they wake up, they’ll have to talk about what else Merlin needs, how to deal with this. Arthur will have to grit his teeth and resist the urge to storm back to Ealdor and teach those boys a lesson. Merlin will curl his fingers into Arthur’s jacket every time they walk past the well.

But for now, Merlin will drift off to sleep in Arthur’s arms, Arthur will hold him, and they’ll stay safe and dry out of the rain where they don’t need a bucket to stop any leaks.

#merthur fic #merthur #merlin bbc #merlin #bbc merlin #arthur pendragon #dragonbabbles #fic

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little-ligi · 3 years

Text

Febuwhump - No.28

No.28 - “You have to let me go!” Fandom - BBC Merlin Wordcount - 2308 @febuwhump

Follow on to No.10 (Hostage Situation)

“How dare you?!” The king rose from his throne, his face red with anger. He threw the parchment to the floor and Merlin caught sight of Arthur’s signature, his seal, and a horrible splattering of blood. His own blood went cold. This was the last time he was ever going to let Arthur go anywhere on his own. He knew he should have insisted on going with him.

The sorceress was restrained and manhandled to the floor. She hissed angrily at the men holding her but didn’t fight them.

“An eye for an eye, your Majesty,” she spat. “Release my husband, and I shall let your prince go.”

“Where is he?” the king growled. His hands were balled into fists, shaking with rage at his sides.

The sorceress merely laughed. “Agree to my terms or you shall never find out.”

Merlin was almost vibrating with nerves. He could feel Gaius’s arm tense beside him. He leant towards him, nudging him with an elbow.

“I can put a tracking spell on her,” he muttered. “I’ll follow her to where Arthur is.”

“Be careful, my boy, she’s powerful.”

“Gaius, I have to save him.”

“I do not negotiate with sorcerers!” the king yelled.

“Your son said the same thing, your Majesty. But I think perhaps you are both wrong,” she said with a cruel smile. “If you want to see your son alive you will negotiate with me.”

Continue reading on Ao3, FF.net or below! 👇

Uther roared, storming down the steps towards her.

“If you harm him…”

“Release my husband,” the woman cried, sitting up on her knees to glare at the king.

Uther scowled at her with cold contempt. “He is already dead.”

“No!” The sorceress let out a scream so piercing that many of the guards around the room slapped their hands over their ears, the ones holding her letting go. Merlin winced, feeling his magic surge inside him, reading for if he needed it.

The woman shouted a spell and Uther staggered, tripping and falling backwards at the foot of the throne. A guard leapt forward to grab his arm and pull him up, but the sorceress was on her feet again and bearing down on him, near spitting in anger as tears poured down her face.

“You killed him! You will regret that, Uther Pendragon! I shall send you back your prince. I’ll send you back his bloody corpse!”

“No!” Uther growled, reaching for his sword, every guard and knight in the room copying his action.

The sorceress flung the king back to the floor with a second spell then began a chant, turning on the spot so her cloak swirled in a sudden whirlwind. Merlin shot his hand out, muttering the tracking spell just in time before the woman vanished into the hazy air. Luckily, in the chaos, no one except Gaius seemed to notice him.

Gaius put a hand on Merlin’s arm, squeezing briefly and nodding.

“Go, my boy. Good luck.”

Merlin wormed his way out of the throng of onlookers, pushing between servants and knights alike to get to the doors.

“Sir Leon,” the king was shouting behind him. “Take two score of men, find the prince! And find that witch and bring me her head!”

Ignoring the clanging of armour and clamour of voices, Merlin burst from the throne room and began sprinting through the palace, tripping down stairs and hurtling along corridors.

He got to the stables and breathlessly demanded a mount, for once using his status as the prince’s personal manservant to get the stable hands leaping to obey his order. He’d thank them and apologise when he got back, but for now speed was of the essence. Within a couple of minutes, he was galloping out of the front gate, following the tug of his magic to find the sorceress’s location.

----------

A distraught scream heralded the sorceresses return. Arthur tensed against his restraints, gritting his teeth and trying, in vain, to curl his numb hands into fists. The door burst open and the sorceress swept in, her staff already pointed at Arthur, a spell on her lips before he even had time to blink.

Blinding pain burnt through his head; he cried out, screwing his eyes shut as black spots danced across his vision.

“He’s dead!” the woman screeched. “Executed by word of the king.”

Arthur could do nothing but gasp ragged breaths in and out, trying to stop shaking. He felt limp, only the restraints that held his arms and legs against the wall keeping him upright.

The sorceress raged, screaming spell after spell, her staff flashing in the air as she wielded it against Arthur. It felt like fire blazed in his chest, choking him, stopping him from taking a breath. He twisted and thrashed, his back arching away from the wall, which only increased the pressure of the bonds around his wrists. He was in agony, and he couldn’t prevent the sobbed cries bursting from his raw throat.

Eventually the sorceress stopped, her own breathing heavy, tears streaked down her face.

“Your father has signed your death warrant, Prince Arthur,” she spat at him, her voice shaking. “The second that axe blade fell on my husband.”

Arthur’s head dropped to his chest. He’d known his father would not negotiate with this woman, had known that her demands would not be agreed to. Her husband had been arrested for sorcery and therefore must be killed. That was the law of Camelot. He wasn’t entirely sure how this sorceress had even got into the city, demanded the release of her husband and managed to get back out alive.

“Please,” he croaked. “You have to let me go. Killing me won’t bring your husband back.”

“The king must pay for what he’s done!” she shouted.

“If you kill me, the king will never stop hunting you,” Arthur tried to reason, but he knew it was futile.

With a sneer, the sorceress jabbed her staff forwards. Arthur was flattened back against the wall, his head thumping into the stone. Blood bloomed across his already stained shirt as if she’d stabbed him with a blade. His stomach lurched, pain radiating through his entire torso.

Before he had time to recover from the blow, the magical restraints holding his arms and legs vanished and he fell to the floor in a crumpled bleeding heap. The staff was levelled on him again and the pain ricocheted through his body. Agonising pain, like a thousand tiny daggers plunging into his skin, crawled up his back. He keened, the sound torn from him until even his voice gave out. His hands grasped uselessly against the floor, trying to pull himself away, but the pain was never ending. It burned and burned and burned.

He couldn’t breath. Nothing existed apart from the constant pounding in his head. He kicked his feet into the stone floor.

“Let me go,” he begged, his pride shattered as he sobbed into the blood stained floor beneath him. “Let me go.”

---------------

A horrible ragged scream echoed through the building and Merlin dashed forwards. He reached a door at the end of hallway and burst through it, his hand already up and ready to unleash his magic.

Arthur was curled on his side on the floor in the middle of the room, panting and whimpering, blood seeping through his shirt and trickling from between his lips. The sorceress was standing over him, her staff jabbing into his back.

Merlin threw his hand forwards, sending the woman flying into the wall, then hurried to the prince’s side.

“Arthur!” He dropped to his knees, placing one hand on Arthur’s shaking back, keeping the other outstretched to the sorceress.

“Who are you?” she spat, pulling herself up from the crumpled position she had landed in.

“Someone you’re going to wish you hadn’t crossed,” Merlin muttered, bending to try and see Arthur’s face, which was pressed against the flagstone floor, his eyes glazed and partially closed.

“I doubt that,” the woman hissed.

She pulled her staff up and suddenly burning pain was racing through Merlin’s head, ferocious and blinding, feeling like it was going to split his skull in two. He cried out, arching his back and grabbing his head. He couldn’t see, he couldn’t think. Every muscle in his body jerked as fire lanced down his spine.

“No!” he ground out, gritting his teeth.

He blinked, trying to see through the haze of agony, forcing his magic up to fight the incoming spell. Slowly and painfully he managed to push her magic out of his head, clearing his mind and blocking her from making another attempt.

With a gesture of his hand he tugged the staff from her grip, snapping it easily with a spell. He let the two pieces of now useless wood drop to the floor and a flicker of fear crossed the sorceress’s face.

“You can’t…” she whispered.

“You gave me no choice!” Merlin yelled, flinging her back against the wall again.

She slid down it, motionless. Whether she was dead or just knocked out, Merlin didn’t care; Arthur had just groaned and shifted his hand.

“Arthur? Arthur, can you hear me?” Merlin muttered to him, his hands sliding across Arthur’s back and shoulders, searching for injuries.

“M’lin?” He blinked up at him, his eyes clouded, unfocussed and streaming with tears.

“Come on, we have to get you out of here. Can you stand?”

“Wh’ happ’d?” Arthur slurred, his head lolling as Merlin tried to hoist him up a bit.

Merlin didn’t answer, concentrating on getting Arthur sitting upright, leaning against his chest. He pulled Arthur’s arm over his shoulder and slightly unsteadily got to his feet, dragging the prince up with him. He wrapped his arm around his waist, pressing against him and taking his weight on his hip. Arthur just about got his feet under him and together they staggered from the room.

Merlin looked back over his shoulder, saying a spell to bring the ceiling down as soon as they were out of the building. The rumbling, crunching crash of falling masonry roared behind them as Merlin dragged Arthur towards the woods where he’d left his horse.

Arthur wasn’t completely with it as they made their way into the trees, his stumbling feet catching on a root and sending him tumbling to the floor. Merlin was pulled down as well and he breathed heavily as he scrambled back up and leant over Arthur. The prince groaned, his hand clutching at his wounded stomach. Merlin propped him against a tree, brushing the hair back off his face. His eyes still wouldn’t focus.

Frowning, Merlin pulled Arthur’s hand away from his stomach, replacing it with his own. With a quick glance at Arthur’s slack face and closed eyes, Merlin muttered a healing spell, lifting Arthur’s shirt to check the wound. His spell didn’t seem to have had any effect. Whether that was because it was a magically inflicted injury or just because Merlin had never excelled at healing spells, he wasn’t sure. He tried again and managed to at least stop the bleeding.

“M’lin, sound str’nge…” Arthur murmured.

Merlin cut off from the spell guiltily, he’d thought Arthur was unconscious. But his eyes drifted open and he gave Merlin a bleary look.

“How are you?” Merlin asked, ignoring Arthur’s inquisitive comment. If he asked anything else, Merlin could just pass it off as his delusional mind playing tricks on him.

Arthur groaned. “Ev’rythin’ hurts.”

“I know, I’m sorry. I –” He stopped, leaping to his feet when he heard approaching horses. His hands balled into fists, magic pooling in his palms and he stood protectively in front of Arthur.

Thundering hooves shook the ground until suddenly several dozen horses burst through the trees ahead of them. The red cloaks of Camelot knights flowing behind their riders.

“Merlin?!”

One horse cantered over and the rider looked down at him. Sir Leon opened his mouth to ask a question but before he could say anything, he caught sight of the prince slumped behind him, and immediately slid off his horse, hurrying to Arthur’s side.

“Sire! Arthur?” He put a gentle hand under Arthur’s chin, tilting his face up to look at him. Then turned to Merlin. “What happened? Where’s the sorceress?”

“I… I don’t know,” Merlin lied. “I didn’t see her, I just found Arthur and got him out.” He gestured behind him in the direction of the collapsed building.

“Go and search! Find that sorceress and bring her back to the king. Preferably dead,” Leon ordered the other knights and half of them rode off in the direction Merlin had pointed, the rest circling the trees around the fallen prince. Leon grimaced and looked back at Merlin. “How did you know where to find him, Merlin?”

“I – he told me where he was going and I, um, just searched the surrounding areas?” Merlin offered, knowing his voice sounded uncertain in the lie, but hoping Leon would be preoccupied enough by Arthur to not notice.

The knight gave him a brief searching look, but then turned his attention to the prince.

“Leon…?” Arthur looked up at him, confusion tilting his eyebrows into a frown.

“Yes, it’s me, Arthur.” Leon smiled, his hand gripping Arthur’s shoulder. “Come on, we’re going to get you home.”

Merlin helped Leon lift Arthur to his feet and carry him over to Leon’s horse, where they hoisted him up into the saddle. Leon gave the patrol of knights orders to keep searching the area, then mounted up behind Arthur, wrapping an arm securely around his middle to hold him to his chest.

Merlin dashed into the trees to find where he’d tied his own horse and scrambled up into the saddle, trotting quickly back to Leon’s side.

“Thank you, Merlin.” Leon gave him a large smile. “Well done.”

#febuwhump2021 #febuwhumpday28 #you have to let me go #bbc merlin fanfiction #arthur whump #bamf merlin #damnit uther #ligi finishes a challenge #YAY!#febuwhump finished #a day late #BUT DONE #i did it #phew #ligi writes #thank you to everyone who read liked and reblogged

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bi-bard · 4 years

Text

Long Forgotten Past- Arthur Pendragon Imagine (Merlin)

Title: Long Forgotten Past

Pairing: Arthur Pendragon X Reader (I tried to make this gender neutral but if I slipped up, I’m sorry)

Requested: Nope...

Warning(s): Mentions of past abandonment and memory loss

Summary: Someone made a decision that changed (Y/n)’s life forever. Now things are changing and the truth will be revealed. A visitor coming to Camelot makes sure that the truth comes out and (Y/n) learns more in a day than they had in forever.

Author’s Note: I have had this sitting in my drafts for so long! This was originally a musical prompt but I drifted very far from that original idea... whoops!

---------------------------------------------------------

“Merlin, let go of my wrist,” I hissed as he dragged me through the halls of the castle.

“No, this is important,” he replied, continuing to drag me along.

“Merlin,” we heard someone shout behind us. Merlin stopped with an angry sigh, tuning around to face Arthur. “Hello, (Y/n).”

“Hello, Arthur,” I smiled.

“Merlin,” Arthur turned his attention to the boy that was still grabbing onto my wrist. “What on Earth are you doing?”

“I need to speak to Gaius and it’s important that (Y/n) is there,” Merlin explained. “You can make me do any chores you want afterwards.”

“(Y/n), are you alright,” Arthur touched my arm gently.

“I’m fine,” I said with- what probably looked like- a dumb smile. He nodded before waving us off. “Bye.”

“Bye,” he replied.

“God, you two are pathetic,” Merlin muttered once Arthur was out of earshot and you had continued following him to see Gaius. “He is absolutely in love with you.”

“No, no he is not,” I insisted. We had this discussion all too often. Merlin had this idea that Arthur loved me... which wasn’t true. It couldn’t be true.

“Gaius,” Merlin shouted as opened the door of their room. “I’ve discovered something.”

“What is it,” Gaius asked, stepping away from whatever potion he was making.

“There’s a king missing his child,” Merlin explained. “His wife died when the kingdom was attacked and the child disappeared.”

“Merlin, where is this going,” Gaius asked. I furrowed my eyebrows and crossed my arms.

“(Y/n) is that child,” Merlin exclaimed.

“What,” Gaius and I shouted at the same time.

“Is it impossible,” Merlin asked.

“Yes,” I replied.

“You have no memories from before... about eight years old,” Merlin added. “You know that your parents didn’t give birth to you. Why can’t you even think that this is a possibility?”

“Gaius,” I turned to look at the old man. “Please tell him that he has lost it.”

“Well...,” Gaius started.

“Gaius,” I shouted.

“We need to tell Uther that there’s a chance,” he continued. “The only one who could confirm this is the man who is potentially your father.”

“You’re kidding,” I shook my head and looked down.

“Come with me, we’ll speak with him before his meeting with the knights,” Gaius said, motioning for Merlin and me to follow him.

“We’re doing this right now,” I asked. I was scared. I shouldn’t have been scared. None of this was possible. They both nodded. “Okay.”

“Sire,” Gaius said as we all walked into the throne room. “I have an important issue to discuss with you.”

“Make it quick, Gauis, I have a meeting soon,” Uther replied.

“You may have heard about King Rowan,” Gaius explained. “He lost his wife when their kingdom was attacked and his child seemed to disappear at random. Merlin and I have reason to believe that we’ve found his child.”

“Really,” Uther looked stunned. “His child has been missing for almost fifteen years. Who do you believe it is?”

“(Y/n),” I straightened my spine when Uther looked at me when Gaius said my name. “The only person who can confirm that is King Rowan.”

“I’ll have someone go and deliver a message to him,” Uther promised, walking over to us. He placed a hand on my shoulder. “It should only take a few days for him to arrive. We’ll find out the truth.”

“Thank you, Sire,” I said, nodding before going to leave. I still had work to get done... even if my thoughts were in a mess now.

**A Few Days Later**

I ran through the hallways once Gwen and Morgana finally let me go. They had insisted on making sure I looked my best when my potential father showed up. I understood why but it made me even more nervous.

I only stopped when I was right outside the doors to the throne room. The guards at the doors gave me nods that I think were supposed to comfort me. I nodded back and they opened the large doors for me.

“This is (Y/n),” Uther said as I walked in. Another man was standing there. That must have been King Rowan.

The room was completely silent. I stood in the middle of the room, scared out of my mind. King Rowan walked over slowly. My heart felt like it was going to burst out of my chest.

“Your necklace,” Rowan said. I touched in out of instinct. It wasn’t much. A single charm on some string. But I had always had it. “It belonged to my wife. She told me to give it to my child. It was her last wish on her deathbed.”

“That... That means...”

“(Y/n),” King Rowan pulled me into a tight hug. I felt him shaking. I let tears fall from my eyes. “My child.”

“Father,” I mumbled. I stepped away after a minute, trying to wipe my eyes so I could look presentable. “Why can’t I remember that time? I would’ve been old enough to have memories.”

“That was my doing,” he looked down. “I had a warlock wipe the first ten years from your mind. I didn’t want you to hold onto that pain. Now that you’re here, we can find a way to restore them.”

“Gaius,” Uther said. “He would be able to fix this, yes?”

“I could certainly try, Sire,” Gaius nodded. I turned around and hugged him.

“Thank you,” I mumbled.

“You’re welcome,” he replied before stepping back to look at everyone. “(Y/n) will need to stay in my chambers and I will need to be able to work with her in private.”

“Of course,” Rowan nodded. He gave me one last hug before following Uther, who was offering him a tour of the castle. “I’ll see you soon.”

“Of course,” I nodded. Everyone had left the room except for Gaius, Merlin, and Arthur.

“I told you so,” Merlin said. I rolled my eyes at him.

“Merlin,” Arthur warned. “One more word, you’ll be sleeping in the stables.”

“Sorry,” Merlin held his hands up. He moved over to hug me. “Congratulations.”

“Thank you,” I mumbled.

“Gaius and I will go off to prepare for... whatever is going to happen,” Merlin said before following Gaius out of the throne room.

“So, you’re royalty,” Arthur said after the door shut behind them.

“Apparently,” I looked down. I was caught off guard when he hugged me and twirled me around. “What is it?”

“This is the best news,” he replied. “This is perfect.”

“Why is it so perfect?”

“We’ll talk about that later,” he shrugged with a smirk before kissing my forehead. “Good luck.”

“Thank you,” I gave him a nervous smile before heading off to see Gaius and Merlin.

I walked through the door, fiddling with my hands. My stomach was full of butterflies and I was scared that I would actually throw up. Merlin gave me a comforting smile once he saw me shifting from one foot to another.

“Come lay down,” Gaius said. I nodded and sat on the cot that Gaius had.

“How is this going to work,” I asked.

“Well, I’m going to give you this potion,” Gaius held up a bottle. “It should start bringing your memory back but it will cause you to fall asleep because the process of regaining memories can be...”

“Overwhelming,” I completed his thought. He nodded. “Have you done this before?”

“Never had to,” Gaius replied, kind of shrugging at me. I let out a heavy sigh. “It’ll be okay.”

“Okay,” I shook my hands out before holding one out to take the bottle from him.

I shifted so I was laying down, then took a huge gulp of the potion. I winced at the flavor as Gaius took it from me. My wincing stopped as I started feeling drowsy, my eyelids struggling to stay open. After what could’ve been seconds, I was falling asleep.

**Time Skip**

I slowly blinked as my brain became less and less cloudy. I rolled my neck before moving to sit up on the cot. I jumped a little when I saw how many people were there... just looking at me.

“Hello,” my father said softly, sitting next to me. I smiled at him. “I know this is going to sound a little silly but... can you tell me the name of your mother?”

“My mother’s name was Aleida,” I replied, my eyes filling with tears. “She was killed by a neighboring kingdom when I was eight. And I just forgot her.”

“No, no, no,” my father hugged me, rubbing my back. “You did nothing wrong. I am so sorry. I am so sorry for everything.”

“May I have a few minutes,” I asked. “I just want to collect my thoughts.”

“Of course,” my father nodded, moving to stand and guide everyone out.

Once the door closed, I felt all of my emotions truly come out. I was scared and I was confused. I placed a hand over my mouth as I cried. Almost eight years of lost memories came crashing back in less than a minute. I couldn’t sort through all of my thoughts.

Whether or not I understood what was going on, my tears eventually stopped. I finally stood from the cot and walked towards the door. Everyone was waiting just outside.

“Sorry,” I mumbled. “I just needed to pull myself together.”

“You’re alright,” Arthur stepped forward and touched my shoulder. I smiled at him.

“Merlin, I believe you and I have some work to finish up, don’t we,” Gaius asked. Merlin nodded, a very smug smile on his face as they walked back into Gaius’ chambers.

“Rowan, I believe we have a deal to discuss,” Uther announced. “Would you like to go discuss the matter?”

“Of course,” my father replied, walking towards the throne room.

“So,” Arthur said slowly. “It’s true.”

“It’s true,” I chuckled. “So, you can tell me why this was such great news.”

“Well,” he looked down for a moment. “I just want you to know that I love you.”

“Oh,” I froze up for a moment. “As in you’re in love with me?”

“Yes,” he confirmed with a small smile. “I didn’t want to say anything because of the stupid rule about royals not being with people that aren’t also royals... but this was the best stroke of luck because now no one can do anything to you if I was to say anything... which I did.”

“I am very happy that I do know,” I replied. I glanced around the nearby hallway before leaning up and kissing his cheek. “Let’s go see what our dads are so adamantly discussing.”

“Alright,” he nodded, holding his arm out so I could wrap mine around. I leaned on his shoulder while we walked down the hallway. It was nice. This was a definitely a nice moment.

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wordsablaze · 5 years

Text

17~ “Stay With Me”

Magic and Misery Merlin might use magic to help Arthur but he rarely uses it to help himself, which leads to an awful lot of misery… written for whumptober, enjoy!

A/N: I’m pretty ill so sorry if this one isn’t the most coherent. Lowkey still linked to witchfinder stuff...

Merlin wakes up crying.

He’s not sure why at first but flashes of blades and chains and indifferent smirks are enough to let him guess that, apparently, he’s not recovering as well as he’d thought.

And if that wasn’t enough, he could easily have guessed because lately, it was common for him to lose out on sleep and end up experiencing his past pains all over again. It seems that, unfortunately, he’ll never quite get used to it.

Angrily, he wipes the tears from his eyes and pulls himself out of bed because the sun seems to be peaking through his window anyway so there’d be no point in getting back to sleep.

He’s still a little disorientated by the time Gaius wakes up and serves them breakfast so he says nothing, keeping his troubles to himself, not wanting to worry the man he considers to be his father.

“Are you feeling alright, Merlin?” Gaius frowns at him once they’re both finished and Merlin’s halfway out of the door.

He briefly considers replying truthfully.

“Of course, Gaius!” he smiles widely before closing the door behind him and making his way to Arthur’s chambers.

Arthur’s still fast asleep, no surprise there.

Rather than immediately waking him, though, Merlin sets up the armour for later, tidies away what he can, and sets the table for breakfast before attempting to rouse him.

“Arthur, come on, you’re going to be late!” Merlin all but yells at said prince, yanking the covers off him and chuckling when Arthur grumbles in response.

“So rude,” Arthur comments as Merlin kindly manhandles him upright.

For a second, he sounds just like Aredian’s son, right before a dagger had been plunged into his skin because he’d refused to make a sound. For a second, he’s back in a hollow, stone room with no escape and no refuge from the cruelty of someone out for revenge. For a second, he forgets where he is.

“Merlin, you do have to move,” Arthur says impatiently, breaking the spell.

“Right.” Merlin clears his throat, pushing away his memories and focusing on getting Arthur into a more respectable outfit for his meeting.

They’re both quiet until Arthur sits down to eat, at which point the silence seems to be suffocating Merlin and he finally speaks up: “I need to, uh, feed the horses. Unless there’s anything else?”

Arthur frowns before shaking his head. “No, that’ll be all. But make sure you’re back here after lunch to get me ready for training.”

“Of course,” Merlin promises before sprinting from the room, his feet taking him towards the stables even though it’s not actually his turn to feed the horses and he’d just used the first excuse he could think of.

When he gets to the stables, he turns and takes the path that leads into the woods, walking until he knows he hasn’t been followed before sinking down into the leaves under a particularly tall tree and sighing sadly.

He lets his head fall onto his knees once he’s pulled them up to his chest, keeping his eyes open so that he doesn’t fall asleep but letting himself slump back against the tree trunk, too tired to hold himself upright.

And he cries.

He doesn’t mean to but he can’t get the scent of metal and blood and badly hidden hatred out of his mind and it’s driving him crazy.

Silent sobs ripple through his frame as he tries to breathe, tries not to fall into unpleasant flashbacks, tries and fails to stay composed.

Only when he knows he can’t stay any longer without risking being late and letting Arthur down does he push himself to his feet, wiping the tear-tracks off his face and breaking into a soft run.

“You’re late, as usual,” Arthur scolds as he bursts through the door.

“You’re ungrateful, as usual,” Merlin retorts, scoffing.

He swiftly goes over to the armour and starts getting Arthur ready, letting himself stay focused on securing the clasps rather than securing his emotions.

“You smell bizarre, Merlin. What were you feeding those horses?”

Merlin blinks in confusion before pausing. “Um… I wasn’t… Someone else already had so I went to collect herbs for Gaius instead.”

Arthur hums in acknowledgement, the two of them lapsing into a hushed quiet once more before making their way to the field so Arthur can embarrass the new recruits with his ego.

He must be having a bad day because Merlin doesn’t even know what happens between handing Arthur his sword and the end of the training session. He’s dimly aware that he’d been gathering weapons and assisting the Knights but he can’t focus on any of it.

“Merlin, get your head out of the clouds,” Arthur yells at him eventually.

It’s only then that he realises the sky has gone dark.

“Wh- what?” Merlin asks, blinking as Arthur walks over to him.

“Did you get hit in the head?”

Merlin nods without thinking, then frowns. “Wait, no. I don’t know.”

After a beat, a matching frown appears on Arthur’s face. It disappears before Merlin can comment on it and then Arthur is pulling him back to his chambers, his grip on Merlin’s arm soft and gentle but firm enough to hold.

“Help me with my armour,” Arthur orders him once they’re both back inside.

Merlin does so, without question.

He steps back once all the armour has been taken off, picking up the gauntlet and readying himself for having to clean it all before the next dawn.

But Arthur just shakes his head. “No, Merlin, they don’t need cleaning yet.”

“Then what do you need?” Merlin asks, dumping everything in the chest near the door so he remembers to clean it another time.

Arthur opens his mouth and closes it again, then repeats the process.

Merlin would laugh if he weren’t so curious. “Arthur?”

“Stay with me?”

It takes Merlin a second to process the request because Arthur had blurted it out as if it were trying to run away from him.

“What?” is all he can reply.

Arthur walks over to him and smiles knowingly, something he doesn’t do very often. “I know that something’s troubling you, Merlin. Perhaps if you stay with me tonight, I can help.”

Oh.

Merlin’s heart grins as he understands why Arthur had been acting so nervous: he was just worried. But it’s not like Arthur can fight Merlin’s own mind for him, especially when he has no idea what goes on in there.

“Arthur, I appreciate it, but-”

“I know,” Arthur interrupts, “that I don’t understand entirely. But it’s worth a try, isn’t it?”

Even if he’d have wanted to, Merlin couldn’t argue with that.

“If you wish,” he mumbles.

Arthur’s explicit concern is almost surreal but Merlin lets himself have it, lets himself fall asleep in the presence of another despite the risk of his nightmares being a nuisance, lets himself be the subject of someone else’s help for once.

He sleeps soundly.

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thebikles · 4 years

Text

Little Merlin Fanfic Chapter 5

chapter 1: https://thebikles.tumblr.com/post/616315012077813760/little-merlin-fan-fiction

A few hours earlier

Merlin dreamed that all of Camelot knew he was a sorcerer. He stumbled through the lower town, the buildings surrounding him almost familiar, with twisted geometries and shuttered doors. He needed to make it to the cover of the forest and beyond, but his legs wouldn’t obey him, they existed in slow motion. Duck into an alley, shy away from the torchlight. Shouts and sword points licked at his heels, the space between houses grew smaller until it was whittled away entirely.

He was trapped. Trapped! And it didn’t make sense that there was nowhere to flee because it didn’t make sense that he should die so young. The fear didn’t fit in his chest and that’s what finally woke him, a sort of bodily instinct to de-escalate.

Merlin lay gasping for several minutes in disorientation, allowing the residue of his dream to evaporate, willfully forgetting.

Though, the reality he had woken into didn’t feel much better. Merlin burrowed back beneath the covers and lay in a close musty darkness of his own creation. The events of the night before were still too hot to touch, so he forced his mind to drift in the starless cosmos beneath his eyelids. To not think was a matter of survival.

Gaius, however, would not allow it.

The morning had barely begun to drain away when he called through a firmly closed door, “Merlin! Breakfast!”

No response.

“It’s getting cold!”

Then, “You’re going to be late…”

Finally footsteps on the stairs. He tensed as Gauis poked his head into the room,

“Merlin, what are you doing? Arthur will be asking for you.”

“No he won’t,” came the muffled reply.

Giaus eyed him then yanked the covers away with surprising force, to reveal Merlin lying there crumpled like a wet cat, blinking in protest.

“Right. Up you get. Eat my oatmeal and tell me what’s the matter.”

Merlin pawed for his pillow which was swiftly confiscated as well.

“I won’t permit you to wallow any longer. Your clouds of gloom are slipping under the door and contaminating the air, spoiling all my medicines…”

He stood with his hands on his hips, waiting.

So Merlin got up. He trudged down the stairs, plopped onto the bench and stared bleakly at his breakfast. Gaius situated himself opposite and ate industriously, trying to set an example.

“Oh, I almost forgot. There was a note addressed to you this morning.”

Merlin felt a fresh stab of fear. It was like the first jolt of a fall, when your body is in one place and your stomach is in quite another. It could only be from one person. To wait any longer would be excruciating, so Merlin asked, in a shaky voice,

“Would you read aloud?”

“Alright.” Gaius cleared his throat and began to speak as if he were reading from one of his clinical textbooks, “Sorry for being an ass last night. I’m off hunting- need to be alone for a while. Will be back whenever. Signed, Arthur.” Then, in his own voice, “What happened Merlin? Why do you look so sad?”

Merlin sat in silence for several moments. He knew he could be stubborn, that Gaius would eventually grow tired of questioning. But it was difficult, living with these sharp edges inside of him. How was he supposed to think, when there were so many places in his mind he could not go? He didn’t want to be comforted, he wanted someone to acknowledge his hopelessness, to bear witness.

“Last night I told Arthur I liked him.” It was such a childish sentence but Merlin didn’t know what else to say.

“Ah.” Gaius enunciated carefully. He sat digesting, “And how did he react?”

“I don’t- know. I didn’t stick around to find out.” He felt leaky and out of balance. Merlin kept speaking, but not of his own volition. It was like he was rolling down a hill and had gained too much momentum to ever imagine slowing down. “He was drunk, and he kept pushing me and I snapped. I told too much truth. So now he’s run away to the forest. Because he doesn’t want to see me.” He paused, then spoke thickly, “I think I’ve ruined something, Gaius.”

“Maybe he just needs some space,” the old man offered, “some time to think.”

But Merlin’s hole was already too deep. He didn’t want to know about other, more livable worlds, for hoping was how he’d hurt himself in the first place.

“Yeah. Maybe. By the way, are there any chores you need me to do?”

Gaius scoffed, “I never thought I’d live to hear you say that. As a matter of fact there are.”

So Merlin hauled and scrubbed and polished. He changed and rearranged small objects of no consequence and imagined himself to be a sardine among many interchangeable thousands, a grain of sand, a single pine needle, curved and delicate as an eyelash, waiting out the winter.

Anything to keep from sitting around in his room watching for Arthur to return. He knew it would be empty and abstract as the inside of a cello, trembling with vacancy. Fear of what might happen if he stayed there too long fueled his furious application of elbow grease. Merlin couldn’t promise himself that his magic wouldn’t find a way to seep into the world. He couldn’t be sure that books wouldn’t shudder from their shelves, or that cracks wouldn’t scurry through the foundations of the castle.

Merlin was walking down another stone corridore. He didn’t trudge or hurry, he simply moved forward through space, feeling detached, as if a glass wall separated him from the rest of the world. As he passed, furtive voices trickled from Morgana’s door and Merlin almost kept walking. Let Uther deal with whatever she’s got planned, part of him thought bluntly, don’t get involved for once, just let it fall.

But some instinct yanked him as close to that door as he dared. He couldn’t quite bring himself to let things lie, it wasn’t in his bones. Besides, secrets and conspiracy were a much better distraction than window washing and reorganization.

Merlin could tell right away that Morgana was not speaking to a friend of Camelot. The airy sweetness to her voice, which she took great pains to maintain, was all scraped away, leaving nothing but cool impatience.

“Now is the perfect time to strike, he’s off in the woods, he’s brought no men with him…”

Merlin stopped breathing. She was talking about Arthur.

Another voice spoke, but it seemed to come from a long way off and he could not make out the words.

“Yes, as many as you can spare, we must take no chances, he needs to-”

There was a sudden, suspicious silence, like a shift in the clouds so that shadows materialized in the dirt. Merlin frowned, listening for the other muffled voice, realizing too late that he needed to run.

The door burst open and Morgana stood framed there like a fury, with snake bites for eyes.

They watched each other and Merlin knew she expected him to plead and make excuses. He lifted his chin.

“What are you doing here?” it wasn’t a question, it was a threat.

Merlin sighed and glanced away. What had become of Lady Morgana? They had been friends once. Her eyes were still full of intelligence, but now they were barbed and guarded as well.

“Why are you doing this?” he said so exhaustedly, without malice.

She laughed coldly. “I wouldn’t expect you to understand. You don’t have to hide each day, you don’t have to live with the knowledge that you would be killed if anyone discovered who you are.”

Merlin swallowed and said nothing.

“Uther is a tyrant and murderer. What could be more righteous than taking him down and bringing freedom to my people?”

“But Arthur’s your brother, and he is no tyrant.”

Morgana stiffened, something like doubt shifted in her eyes. It occurred to Merlin that she had no reason to speak to him, for the king would never believe a word against his beloved ward. It was as if she needed to justify herself.

“Yes but one day he will be,”

“-You don’t know that-”

“...and his life is a small price to pay for justice, and equality.”

Merlin kept his eyes locked on hers, “There is always another way.”

Morgana smiled poisonously, “How sweet. I remember when I was as naive as you.”

“I won’t let you do this.”

The door closed firmly in his face. “Have fun trying to stop me.”

So Merlin took off running, his malaise slipping like a cloak from his shoulders. It didn’t matter now, whether Arthur didn’t want their friendship, so long as he was alive to avoid it.

Merlin discarded the stairs, leaping three at a time, blurring the line between a fall and a sprint. He ran until his thighs burned and his teeth ached and then kept running. Let Morgana laugh, let her underestimate him. He could feel magic sloshing beneath his skin.

#bbc merlin #merlin #merarthur

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book-boys-are-my-guilty-pleasure · 6 years

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Imagine: Winning a fight against Gwaine and eventually the two of you fall for each other.

Request: “Can you do a Merlin Imagine where reader meets Lancelot/Gwaine for the first time (she is a demon that ran away from home so stays with Gaius) and she’s like ‘pfffttt not impressive, I bet I could do better’ and then they fight (Idc how the fight goes) Maybe after a bit they get together and Arthur barges in on them and she yells at him trying not to laugh at his horrified expression.” For @killthe-illusionarydreams

Warning: This gets a teeny tiny bit heated towards the end, but then again it’s me so it’s probably not that bad.

“What took so long?” Gaius asks, as you walk through the door.

“The herbs were hard to find Gaius,” You say defensively and he looks at you, raising his eyebrows, “Alright, fine, I got in a bit of an argument with someone.”

“Y/N,” He sighs.

“Don’t ask,” You simply say, dropping the basket in front of Gaius and walking towards your room. You were a demon and Gauis had saved you from being hunted, allowing you to stay with him. He had practically raised you so it was safe to say, you were quite different from most demons.

“Y/N wai-”

You open the door and find a shirtless man sleeping on your bed, “Um... Gaius? Why is there a man in my bed?”

“It was your turn,” Merlin shrugs, appearing out of nowhere -something that he had a real knack for.

“My turn?”

“The baker’s boy from the village stayed in my room for an entire week last month when he was ill,” He reminds you, “It’s your turn to sleep on the floor.”

“Gaiiiius...” You say in a whiney voice, giving him your best puppy dog eyes.

“There’s nothing I can do about this, sorry Y/N.”

Your expression goes back to its usual sarcastic self, “What’s he even doing here?”

“His name is Gwaine and he saved mine and Arthur’s lives and ended up getting hurt in the process, Arthur promised him anything.”

“He may have, but I didn’t, how long is it going to take him to heal?”

“He seems like a strong and healthy man, it shouldn’t take long,” Gaius states nonchalantly.

“He is,” Merlin nods, “You should have seen him fight, it was better than I’ve ever seen before-”

“Sounds like someone is in love.

Your comment earns a chuckle from Gauis and a scoff from Merlin, “All I’m saying is that he was really good.”

Merlin proceeds to tell you the entire story of what had happened at the tavern, not missing a single detail. You lean back in your seat, crossing you arms, “Not impressive, I bet I could do better.”

“Is that so?” Gwaine asks, walking out of the room -still shirtless- and looking you up and down, “Wow Merlin, you didn’t tell me you lived with a princess.”

You laugh sarcastically, “Don’t ever call me that again.”

“Whatever the princess wishes,” He shrugs.

Before you can say anything, Gaius steps in, “You should be resting.”

You were walking around the palace with Gwaine, Merlin was busy running errands for Arthur, so you were forced to show him around. He had been in Camelot for a few days now and Gaius finally let him walk around, so here you were.

“What was thing you said when you first met me? ‘I bet I could do better’? What did you mean by that?”

You shrug, “I like to fight.”

“And I like to bet, so how about it?” He asks, gesturing towards the empty training grounds.

“Sure, better than walking around the castle with you all day.”

He hands you a sword and the two of you begin sparring. Minutes go by and neither of you have gotten a clean hit in, so you decide to use your magic to make him slip, and as soon as he’s on the ground, you have your sword to his throat. You offer him your hand and he shakes his hair out of his eyes, “You just got lucky.”

“Oh sweetheart, luck has nothing to do with it,” You chuckle.

“As incredible as that fight was, you’re not permitted to fight on these training grounds,” Arthur interrupts, walking over to you with Merlin following close behind.

“I thought you promised me anything,” Gwaine smiles.

“Which is why I’m letting you both go unpunished.”

The next few days go by the same way, wandering around aimlessly with Gwaine, fighting with him -playfully for the most part- and growing attached to him.

You were walking through the castle, having a normal conversation with him. One thing led to another and he ended up pulling you into an empty guest room, his lips met yours as his foot kicked the door closed. He pushes you against the wall without breaking the kiss and your body molds into his. You pull away breathlessly and tug at his tunic, which he hastily discards before turning his attention towards the laces of your dress.

“Are you sure?” He asks huskily.

“Never been surer.” As soon as the words leave your mouth, he has you on the bed and is hovering above you.

Before you can go any further, the door bursts open, reveal a horrified, red-faced Arthur, “I- I’m so sorry I didn’t realize-”

“Arthur! Have you never heard of knocking?!” You put on an angry facade, though in reality you are trying not to laugh at the look on his face, “Get out!”

“Right, of course,” He quickly shakes his head and leaves you two alone. With him gone, you and Gwaine burst into laughter, “I’m going to have a lot of explaining to do once he gets over the shock.”

“Seeing the state of us, I don’t think we’ve left much to explain,” He chuckles before leaning into to kiss you once again.

End.

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thegreatestsorcerertoeverserve · 6 years

Text

Merlin’s just a fast learner: Chapter Five, Lots of Trouble (you’ll get the joke)

You can catch up here on tumblr, and here on AO3. As always, thanks for your feedback, and as newly, all my love and gratitude to Gen (@magicandfandoms) for helping me out.

The hardest part about faking learning magic in front of Arthur was deciding what was the earliest he could believably start using his magic for his chores. Washing Arthur’s clothes? Polishing his armor? Mucking out the stables? Of course, this dilemma didn’t hit Merlin until it was too late; specifically, a week after he’d been given the task of court sorcerer.

About fifteen household items, including mops, wash rags, and scrub brushes were working on every surface in Arthur’s chambers while Merlin sat in Arthur’s desk chair, feet up and whistling a tune.

“Merlin, I wanted to ask-”

Arthur got a foot in the room before he was smacked in the face by a stray mop. “Arthur!” Merlin yelped, jumping to his feet. His mind offered up a helpful dose of AHHHHHHH, and so he went with it. “AH-I-uh-SEVEN SECONDS! Personal record!” He continued to yell, cheer, and jump around, eventually getting to a thoroughly confused Arthur, who began to jump and yell along with him.

“WHAT PERSONAL RECORD?”

“OF HOLDING UP MOPS!”

“OH! THAT’S… GREAT! CONGRATULATIONS!” Arthur cheered proudly.

Needless to say, Merlin didn’t want another close call like that.

Gwen stopped him in the hallway one afternoon. “Did you hear?” she whispered urgently. Merlin shook his head.

“What is it?”

“The spies have come back from Essetir, with terrible tales about Lot, the king who took control after Cenred’s death. They say he is planning an attack. Merlin, I think you need to speak with Arthur.”

Merlin stared at her. “What could I possibly do?”

Gwen looked nervously down the hallway, making sure they were alone before continuing. “Merlin, I won’t say it. I won’t even make you say it. But you can be truthful with me.” Merlin couldn’t lie to her, not when she so obviously knew.

“When did you find out?”

“The battle of Camlan.”

“Gwen, I’m sorry-”

“Nonsense!” Her tone was stern, but she gave him a hug that just about cracked his ribs. For someone so small, she had amazing upper body strength. “You never have to apologize for who you are. I just wish… you didn’t have to hide it, even now,” Here it was. She wanted him to tell Arthur.

“Gwen, I can’t. You of all people must understand that. Arthur would never forgive me; he would never trust me again. And he needs me, Gwen.”

Gwen nodded solemnly. “Now more than ever. I just think, Merlin, that you don’t always give him enough credit.”

Gaius appeared around the corner. “Merlin! There you are! Arthur is requesting your attendance at the Round Table immediately.”

“Requesting me?” Merlin murmured incredulously.

“You are the Court Sorcerer now, Merlin. It is a position of respect.” Gwen reminded him.

Gaius shrugged, a grin on his face. “I’ll revise. It was more like… I believe the kids say… bitching?”

Gwen let out a snort. “Never mind. Some things never change.” She patted Merlin on the shoulder. “Go on, Merlin. But please do think about what I said.”

By the time Merlin made it down to the Great Hall, he was winded and sweaty. He continued his rush in, bursting through the large wooden doors.

“Merlin! Nice of you to join us.” Arthur said, looking up to be annoyed for only a second, which was how Merlin knew it was bad.

“What’s happened?”

Arthur pointed something out to Leon on a map spread out on the table, murmuring, so Gwaine answered Merlin. “King Fucking Lot decided he wasn’t happy terrorizing just one kingdom of people. So he’s decided to take a shot at ours.”

“When?” Merlin replied anxiously.

Percival answered this time. “Three months. He has his own army, plus two hundred he’s bought out from our enemies.”

“Merlin,” Arthur finally looked up from the map long enough to look at his friend. “They have sorcerers in their army. We can’t compete with that.”

Merlin swallowed hard. “We can.”

Almost everyone around the table fell silent at this. They were all still grappling with the fact that magic was legal, and especially that Merlin was the most knowledgeable about it among them. Silence was a common response whenever he spoke about it. Leon, Gwaine, and Percival alone seemed unfazed.

Arthur was the first to speak. “You’re certain? In three months?”

Gwaine looked Merlin in the eye. “Perhaps if we had the sorcerer from Camlan, we might stand a better chance.”

“Perhaps.” He said quietly. Did he know too? God, was Merlin just terribly obvious all this time and had no idea?

Arthur stood up suddenly and cleared his throat. “This meeting of the Round Table is adjourned. We all know what we need to do moving forward. Godspeed men-” Gwen, having appeared in the time after Merlin came in, cleared her throat loudly. “-and women.”

The room cleared slowly, the knights making their last minute comments and jokes as they filtered out. Gwaine squeezed his shoulder as he passed, and Merlin could’ve been imagining it, but the familiar gesture seemed to him to hold more depth than just a goodbye. He didn’t have enough time to dwell on it, however, because Arthur motioned him closer. “Merlin, I don’t know whether you’re incredibly brave or incredibly stupid.”

Merlin grinned in spite of himself. “One of my finest qualities.”

“I’m inclined to agree.” Arthur wasn’t looking at him, but there was a fond smile on his face that made something in Merlin’s heart jump.

“Erm, sire?”

“... yes?” Arthur came out of whatever daydream he was in, finally turning to face Merlin. He seemed a little disconnected now that he wasn’t in front of all of his knights.

“Are you alright?”

Arthur again took his time to answer. He took a deep breath. “I am… I will be.” He sighed deeply. “It’s funny, in the back of my head, I had the idea that everything after Morgana would be… fine. Not easy, maybe, but… better. But now, with Lot taking over right where Cenred left off… do the villains ever stop coming?”

Merlin chuckled bitterly. “I don’t think so. But we can defeat Lot, and we will. Together.”

“Merlin,” Arthur started, then stopped. “I was thinking, it might be apt for us to strategize every so often, me as head of army strategies, you as head of magic strategies…”

“I am the magic strategy.”

Arthur snorted. “Alright, just, report to my chambers on Tuesday mornings.” Back to king mode. Merlin was well versed in the Pendragons’ emotional- vulnerability-then- straight-to-barking-orders move, so he let it pass. Plus, he was pretty sure he just scheduled a regular Tuesday morning brunch date with the love of his life, so he was pretty willing to let some things go for the time being. Including figuring out exactly who knew he had magic, and if he had to worry about them letting that slip to Arthur.

Never mind. He was worried.

#merthur #fanfic #merlin's just a fast learner #chapter five #merlin #arthur #bbc merlin #my writing #gwen #gaius #gwaine #leon #percival

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winglesscrows · 6 years

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I’m Yours Ch. 9

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Merlin (BBC) I T I Merlin & Arthur I 61k

“Arthur used to think he knew everything about his servant, and to an extent he still did. As shocked as he had been about the incident, this wasn’t exactly something that was unlike Merlin. It was dumb and it came from a place of kindness with a total disregard of himself. The action itself, Arthur understood. What he didn’t understand was why Merlin had kept it to himself.”

In which Arthur slowly unravels the mystery that is Merlin, and begins to realize just how much he doesn’t know.

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Arthur pulled himself together as he took his unconscious manservant and sprinted to the physician's quarters. He passed a pair of guards on his way to the other side of the castle, frantically yelling at them to get Elyan to Gaius as fast as possible, and only heard as the guards too started sprinting down the corridor to get the knight. Despite Arthur's quick steps and frantic breathing echoing down the empty hallways, nothing seemed louder than the sound of Merlin heaving for air, sounding like nothing entered his lungs. Arthur didn't look at him as he ran, afraid of what he would see should he look. As long as he could hear Merlin breathe, it would be okay. It would be okay.

Gaius was rightfully startled when Arthur burst into his chambers at such a late hour, but didn't get to ask any question as he saw the state of his ward. He immediately gestured for Arthur to put Merlin down on the bed, and Arthur held up a candle to light Gaius' field of vision.

"He's been poisoned," Gaius said, working through the unpleasant surprise by stating the obvious, "How did this happen?"

"He drank a truth serum," Arthur tried to explain, his voice morphed into something he couldn't recognize. He wanted to scream and yell that this wasn't supposed to happen. That this wasn't his fault. But now wasn't the time for excuses. They just needed to find a cure. "I don't know why this happened. It was fine before."

"Truth serums are fickle things," Gaius explained, as he kept examining Merlin, going into full physician mode to prevent his emotions from take over. Arthur should be thankful for that. As soon as Merlin was better, Gaius would be nothing short of angry, "Many of them will lose their properties after less than a day, usually developing into something different."

They should have researched that. They should have known, taken every precaution. They should have-

Elyan appeared by the door and hurried to Merlin's side as soon as he saw him.

"I need to know what was in the truth serum," Gaius said urgently, and Elyan shook his head, getting into a less worried state as he recited the recipe.

As the two of them worked together, Arthur took a few steps back, giving them space to move freely, and collapsed on the bench. This was not meant to happen. It might not have been right to use the truth serum, but what cruel fate had dictated that for his actions, Arthur would poison his servant, his closest friend? Was their friendship the prize for breaking Merlin's trust? Arthur wouldn't be able to bear that. All he had done, he had done for Merlin, to stop him from getting hurt.

But he had gotten hurt. Arthur had hurt him. Poisoned him, tricked him and betrayed him. And if he died- no! Arthur refused to let that be an option. Merlin wouldn't die, but what would happen then? Merlin had always been loyal, but what reason would he have to remain? And what would Arthur do then? If there was no Merlin, then surely, there was no Arthur either.

It was perhaps an hour later when Elyan moved Merlin from the patient's bed up to his own room to rest. Arthur wanted to follow them, but Gaius blocked his way.

"What were you thinking?" Gaius accused and Arthur felt smaller than he had in years. It was never pleasant to have the ever patient Gaius yelling at you, "Did it never occur to you that you didn't know what you were dealing with?"

"No, we-" Arthur wanted to say they had tested it, that they had made sure to not give Merlin something they wouldn't know what was, but what knowledge did they possess? They weren't physicians. They were knights. Stupid, foolish knights who thought there was a simply solution to everything, "I don't have an excuse," Arthur said quietly, "I made a mistake, and Merlin had to pay for that. I'm sorry. I never meant-"

"I know you didn't," Gaius interrupted, "God knows that you would never do something like this intentionally. But even if your intentions hadn't backfired, do you still think you did the right thing?"

"No," Arthur shook his head. He couldn't look at Gaius as he spoke, "I was… angry, scared. It seemed like an easy way to be rid of all my problems. I knew it wasn't right. I didn't want to use it, but I just got… frustrated and, God, I wish I had never done it," Arthur looked up at Gaius, "But please, don't blame Elyan or Gwaine for this. I was the one who chose to use it. They aren't to blame."

"At least you're responsible," Gaius scoffed, still very angry with Arthur, "I would send you back to your chambers, but I think it would do more harm than good. Stay as long as you like."

"Thank you, Gaius."

None of them slept that night. Elyan stayed with Merlin in his room, watching over him, sometimes apologizing for what had happened. Arthur had told him it wasn't his fault, but Elyan didn't listen. Arthur couldn't stand to stay with Merlin for long and eventually settled on sitting by the small staircase leading up to his room instead, the door open just enough for Arthur to be able to see Elyan sitting against the wall. Gaius sat by his bench, half focused on a book and some of the work that was yet to be finished. Gaius didn't speak to any of them, and the quiet night turned to morning after what seemed like an eternity.

The peace was disrupted when Gwaine waltzed into the physician's chambers, asking for Merlin.

"One of the maids was asking for him," Gwaine said, and Arthur looked at Gaius and then back at Gwaine when it became clear that the physician would not explain what was going on. Arthur stood up and went over to Gwaine. Almost wanting the knight's response to be punching him in the face. He deserved that.

"I used the truth serum," Arthur said, and Gwaine's face dropped as he realized that Arthur spoke of this freely in the presence of Gaius, because it had gone wrong.

"What happened?"

"It-"

"It poisoned him," Elyan interrupted as he emerged from Merlin's room, "He barely survived."

Gwaine looked between the two of them, waiting for the punchline to the joke, but was slowly forced to realize that they were speaking the truth. As he did, he pushed past them to get to Merlin. Arthur and Elyan didn't follow him, merely looked at each other, surprised that Gwaine's first instinct hadn't been to throw a punch. It usually was.

Gwaine stayed with Merlin for roughly ten minutes before he came back out, not stopping as he left the room: "Fetch me when he wakes up," he said on his way out, "You know where I will be." And with that he was gone. Arthur promised himself that if Merlin hadn't woken within a day, he would at least stop Gwaine from drinking himself to death.

Another hour passed, Arthur and Elyan still unsure what to do with themselves and startled as Guinevere burst through the door looking for Gaius.

"Lancelot's party returned," she panted, trying to regain her breath, talking rapidly to Gaius and possibly not even having registered the two other people in the room, "But sir Lucan is badly injured. Lancelot is bringing him here."

"What manner of injury, Gwen?" Gaius asked as he cleared his work bench for sir Lucan.

"A stab wound in the leg," she informed, still slightly out of it, "But it's been some time. Lancelot said that it's probably infected, even though they tried to keep it clean."

"I'll examine it. For now, fetch me some water. Take your brother with you, and bring me a bowl of hot water as well."

Gwen spun around and finally looked at Elyan and Arthur, who were awkwardly stood to the side, "What…?" She began, but then snapped out of it as she just grabbed her brother, sprinting down to get the water.

"Sire," Gaius began, "If you won't leave, stay with Merlin. We don't want this place to get crowded." It was Gaius' polite manner of telling him that since he couldn't assist, he should just leave. Arthur did as he was told, and closed the door to Merlin's room just as he heard more people entering the physician's quarters. Arthur leaned against the door, listening to what was happening on the other side of it.

"Put him down here," Gaius instructed, "What happened?"

"This was yesterday," Lancelot began, "We decided to take a detour on the way back, through the forest of Ascetir. There had been signs of sorcery only a week before and though we had been investigating during the harvest, Lord Agravaine needed us to stay close, so a thorough investigation was never allowed. As it would delay our arrival in Camelot only by an hour or so, I convinced Lord Agravaine to let us investigate on our way back. I didn't expect us to find anything, but it was worth a try. At least it would put the citizens at ease, as they had been too frightened to even venture close to the forest.

As we searched through the forest, sirs Lucan and Kay went off on their own. I urged them to stay together, but they must have separated for Lucan suddenly let out a scream, while Kay was both uninjured and had no idea of what had happened. We hurried back as quickly as we could, kept the wound clean, but it's been almost a day now."

"Do not blame yourself, Lancelot. Sir Lucan is a knight of Camelot, being injured comes with the job."

"I just can't help but feel that there was more I could have done."

"Lancelot..." Arthur was immediately on his feet and rushing to Merlin's side, as his servant seemed to slowly regain consciousness, the name of his most honorable knight on his lips. It took Merlin a moment, but he slowly opened his eyes and looked directly at Arthur, before he immediately looked away, "Leave," he spat weakly, trying to turn his head away from the prince, and while Arthur wanted nothing more than to stay and talk, apologize for what he had done, he stepped away.

"My lord?" Lancelot said as Arthur emerged from Merlin's room, taking the knight by surprise.

"He woke up," Arthur informed Gaius, "And he's asking for Lancelot."

"Woke up? What's going on?"

"He was poisoned," Arthur explained as Gaius moved past him to get to Merlin, leaving the two of them alone.

"How?" Lancelot was getting more distressed by the second. Learning that Merlin had gotten hurt, while he was away on a mission, where he already blamed himself for an injured knight wouldn't be easy on his mind, and Arthur was about to make it so much worse. Arthur had always wondered, if Lancelot was forced to choose between him and Merlin, who would be cast away? Under the current circumstances, Lancelot's choice shouldn't be difficult.

"I made a mistake," Arthur began, "I wanted him to talk, got my hands on a truth serum and used it on him. It backfired."

The look on Lancelot's face was somewhere between disbelief and betrayal. He looked at Arthur for a while, before pushing past him and joining Gaius in Merlin's room. It wasn't like Lancelot to act on anger, or even show his anger, but more than anything, Arthur really wished that someone would just punch him. Punish him, free him from this hellish situation and just give him the push to do something about it.

Arthur looked down at sir Lucan on the patient's bed. His wound had been treated, and though it looked like he had a fever, he didn't look in pain. Arthur should demand reports from Lancelot and Agravaine, figure out what had happened on the mission, but Arthur wasn't in the right headspace to do so. Instead, he left the physician's chambers and headed towards the Darkling Woods with nothing but his sword and a small empty basket.

Arthur came back hours later, and the first person he bumped into was none other than Leon.

"Sire!" He exclaimed as the two crossed paths in a hallway, "Where have you been? The king has been asking for you."

"Doesn't matter," Arthur said, "Inform him that I won't be available for the rest of the day."

"Sire?" Leon asked, more concerned than before, "What's going on?"

"Nothing the king needs to worry about." At some point, Arthur would let Leon in on what had happened, but Arthur couldn't bring himself to tell more people.

Before Arthur made it all the way back to the physician's quarters, he met Guinevere who was just leaving, possibly after having assisted Gaius (After Morgana had left, her duties had varied depending on where the castle was the busiest, and if you wanted to find her, going to Gaius was the best guess). Of course, when Arthur said that he met Guinevere, he meant more the sort of; they bumped into each other and after taking one look at him, she walked up to him, anger apparent in her features and firmly slapped him so hard he thought he heard ringing in his ears. She looked like she had something to say, but decided against it, wanting Arthur to know he wasn't even worthy of hearing her voice - even if what she would have said would surely have been nothing good - and left him alone on the staircase leading up to his destination.

"I see you met Gwen," Gaius commented as Arthur entered through the door. At first, the comment confused the prince, until he reached up to the cheek she had struck and found it sore. There was probably a red mark in the shape of her hand.

"Is he awake?" Arthur asked carefully, and put the now filled basket on the table before removing his sword to put it away. He wanted to look as harmless as possible.

"He is," Gaius said, his back turned to the king, not wanting to give him attention, "But I can't promise that he wants to see you."

"I can imagine," Arthur said, trying to force a smile. It didn't work, "I just want to explain what happened. Even if what I did wasn't honorable, at least I want him to know that killing him was not the intent."

"If he was smart,, he would know that already," Gaius remarked, and Arthur managed a small, real smile.

"But he's an idiot," Arthur answered, and took the basket as he headed up to Merlin's room.

Arthur entered the small room and found his servant sitting, leaning against the wall, his feet covered by the blanket, but his knees loosely tucked up to his chest, his arms falling weakly around them. He looked at Arthur as he entered, but looked away just as quickly. Arthur didn't expect forgiveness to come easy, if at all. The crime he had committed was no better than what had happened. Often death was better than betrayal, and Merlin surely thought that. If his reluctance to speak to Arthur came on the cause of thinking his prince wanted him dead, Arthur could hardly imagine what he would think when he learned the truth.

Arthur had never been a man of words, much preferring to show himself through actions and sat down the small basket by the end of the bed, Merlin hardly acknowledging it.

"It's blueberries," Arthur said, gaining no visual reaction from his servant - if he even was that anymore. Perhaps, Arthur feared, that if Merlin decided to stay, that was all he would be. Maybe he wouldn't even be Arthur's.

"Why are you here Arthur?" Merlin asked coldly, never looking at him, his gaze fixed at the small window which revealed the bright blue, cloudless sky. "Here to finish the job? Is that what those berries are for? Or perhaps you wanted me to survive so I would suffer," There was a slight hint of sarcasm in his tone, but it wasn't how Merlin usually talked. He talked like he was a prisoner, taunting his guards to kill him as he would never give them what they wanted anyway.

"I always took you for a merciful executioner," Merlin continued, the disappointment and spite in his voice reminding Arthur of how his father talked about the knights of the round table, "Perhaps I was wrong about that too."

Arthur didn't know what words would be the best to choose. He had hoped Merlin would give him a more silent treatment, letting Arthur speak freely. That was what Merlin usually did when he was upset. He was quiet. Arthur felt like a fool for thinking he could predict what Merlin would do. Hadn't these last few weeks, months even, shown Arthur that he didn't know his servant as well as he thought he did? Merlin didn't give Arthur a chance to think about what to say, as he kept the defying tone of voice with which he stripped away all the courage and confidence Arthur had tried to take with him as he had first entered into this conversation.

"Are you going to burn me?" Merlin asked so casually, Arthur thought that couldn't possibly have been what Merlin has said. He didn't sound afraid, only slightly disapproving. Both of them hated the pyre, Merlin knew that, so why would he think Arthur would have it in him to burn him?

"Why would I burn you?" Arthur voiced his thoughts, truly perplexed by Merlin's thought process, not even wanting to think about Merlin in the flames, about Arthur being the one to have put him there.

Merlin didn't answer. Didn't even so much as move or change his expression, which Arthur couldn't read. His lips pressed in a thin line, but the rest of his pale face unbothered, like he had somehow accepted his fate. A fate Arthur was unaware of.

Arthur carefully took a step closer to the bed. Merlin still didn't react, so Arthur said what he had been meaning to say all along: "I'm sorry." That gave him a reaction, but not quite the one he had wanted. Merlin huffed, and let out a short and forced laugh, making him sound distant and detached. Nothing like the usual bright laugh, Arthur had grown so used to.

"For what?" Merlin said when he stopped laughing, "Not killing me faster?"

"No, Merlin," Arthur said, raising his voice slightly as he got a little fed up with how this conversation was developing, "I didn't mean to hurt you."

Merlin made another sarcastic sound. Not believing Arthur for a second. "What. So you just grabbed the first poison you could find and hoped it would kill me quickly? You should just have run me through. Then I wouldn't have survived and you wouldn't have to be here."

Arthur clenched his fist. He needed to clear up this misunderstanding and he needed Merlin to tell him why he was so hellbent on thinking that Arthur wanted him dead. He closed the space between them, kneeling in front of the bed, partially blocking Merlin's view to the mirror, hoping to get his message across. Of course, Merlin still refused to look at him.

"Merlin. I didn't want you dead," he said firmly, "I don't now and I doubt that I ever will."

"Why not?" Merlin questioned, like he wanted Arthur to consider just running him through, "I lie, I keep secrets and I've lost the trust I spend so long trying to gain. What use do you have for me? Especially now? Anyone could do your laundry, sharpen your sword, clean your damn room and whatever servants need to do. If that's all I'll end up becoming, then there is no point. And that's not even touching the-" Merlin breathed in sharply, stopping himself from continuing.

"Merlin. Listen to me," Arthur tried again, but Merlin kept interrupting him.

"I am listening."

"No, you're not. Just shut up and let me explain. I won't claim that I tried to do something honorable, because I didn't. I just wanted you to tell the truth for once. I hadn't even intended for you to tell me everything, just the most important things. What I put in your drink was a truth serum, and it almost killed you. I am sorry for what happened and I am sorry for betraying your trust. It wasn't right. Even if you hadn't almost died. It wasn't right."

Merlin looked at Arthur for the first time. It didn't look like Merlin was necessarily believing him, more like he needed to look at Arthur's face to confirm whether or not he was being truthful. Merlin had always been good at reading Arthur, so he would know that Arthur had spoken nothing but the truth.

"So you..." Merlin began slowly, his voice a mere whisper, "You don't know anything?" For the first time, Merlin's voice bore no trace of hatred or anger. Arthur felt a little more at ease.

"I wouldn't say I know nothing," Arthur joked, trying to build on the improving atmosphere, "But no, I don't know anything. Especially not anything I would want you dead over."

Merlin kept eye contact for another second before turning away again, trying to focus on the window once again.

"Merlin," Arthur pressed on, "I can understand if you don't trust me right now, but that doesn't make it any less important that you tell me about Agravaine. If not for me, then for the rest of Camelot. Your friends, Lancelot, Gwaine, Gaius."

"No," Merlin said weakly, "I can't." This time Arthur knew that Merlin's voice was strained because he didn't want to cry. He knew what Arthur said made sense, yet he still did not speak. Whether it was because of what Arthur had done or something else, the prince couldn't know, but he would like to think there was an underlying reason. More than Merlin just not having the proof he wanted.

"What do you think will happen, Merlin? Do you really think I would kill you for being honest with me?"

"No," Merlin sighed, "Not now. You would feel bad because of what happened. You could still banish me."

Again, banishment. Merlin's biggest fear.

"Even after what I did," Arthur said slowly, "You still want to stay."

"Yes."

Arthur was about to continue, but Merlin cut him off.

"Please leave," he said, "I need to think."

Arthur wanted to protest, but wanted to respect Merlin's wishes. He had done what he needed to do. Let Merlin know the truth. What he did with that was up to him. "Don't forget the blueberries," he said on his way out, closing the door behind him.

Since Merlin was now awake and able to talk, Arthur decided to go and get Gwaine. It hadn't yet been a day, so the knight probably hadn't reduced his lifespan considerably during the time he had been there, but Arthur should stop him before it ended up that way. He met Lancelot on the way or, rather, Lancelot had been patiently waiting for him not too far from the physician's chambers.

"Do you remember when I first came to Camelot?" Lancelot began as he fell into step with Arthur, likely knowing that he was on his way to stop Gwaine's drinking and not wanting to delay him, but still needed his attention.

"I do," Arthur replied, not quite sure where Lancelot was going with this, although he was sure it was leading into some kind of lecture about honor and, quite specifically, Merlin.

"I broke the knight's code," Lancelot continued, "Even if the rule that commoners cannot become knights is unjust, the fact that I lied about my identity was dishonorable."

"Which is why you left," Arthur remembered. If he had had his way, Lancelot would never have been revoked of his knighthood back then. He had always been one of the best people Arthur knew.

"Yes, sire," Lancelot said, Arthur almost taken aback by the formality as everyone else who knew of the Merlin situation had seemingly dropped them, "I needed to prove myself, become someone worth your trust and loyalty."

"You already were," Arthur insisted. He understood why Lancelot had done what he had done, but he didn't quite agree with it. Lancelot should have stayed.

"I wasn't. I lied to get what I wanted. I lied to you and to the king, the people with whom I should always be honest. Dishonesty should not be taken lightly," Lancelot said firmly, "My actions proved that I was more concerned about myself than about Camelot. My loyalties were divided, and as with anyone who serves you, loyalty should, above all, be most important."

"Of course," Arthur agreed. This was about Merlin. Merlin who was loyal to a fault and didn't deserve any of the things Arthur had done to him. This was Lancelot's way of telling Arthur that he had messed up.

"When I came, I lied and I didn't show my loyalty," Lancelot repeated, like he was writing a perfect report, "No matter who they claim to be, do not trust people who haven't shown you loyalty." Arthur's eyes widened. This wasn't about Merlin. This was about Agravaine. Had something happened on the mission? Arthur was about to ask, but seeing that he was, Lancelot stopped him. "Trust the people who have."

They went to the tavern together, finding Gwaine alone in a corner, looking like he had been there for a full week. The sun was beginning to set, so after Gwaine had paid Merlin a small visit, Arthur would sent him straight to his chambers. Going by Gwaine's state, Arthur should probably also ban him from going to the tavern for the next month.

"This isn't your fault," Arthur told him on their way back, Lancelot supporting most of Gwaine's weight as they moved, "It was my decision to use it."

"I should have stopped you," Gwaine merely replied, his lively tone of voice completely gone, "You always have the worst ideas."

Before Arthur could open the door to the physician's chambers, Elyan appeared, apparently just leaving. He looked at the three of them, figuring out their situation quickly and then looked to Arthur, and gestured to his cheek, "I see that you met Gwen too."

Arthur instinctively moved his hand to his cheek. It was still sore. Sometimes he forgot how strong Guinevere was.

"You know," Elyan said, acting more like himself that he had just that morning, "Even though Merlin insists that at least Gwaine and I shouldn't be to blame, I don't think he'll be able to convince Gwen of the same. You should be careful Gwaine. She'll probably come for you next."

"We should just be thankful that Percival isn't the one doing the hitting," he tried to joke, but it still came out a little flat.

"Speaking of Percival," Lancelot said, "Should we inform him and sir Leon?"

"Gaius said not to," Elyan informed them, "They'll want to visit and he doesn't want Merlin to feel crowded. We can tell them in a couple of days."

And with that, Arthur left Gwaine in Lancelot's care, and returned to his own chambers, where he hadn't been since he had poisoned Merlin. It felt weird to come back. The shattered glass was still lying where Merlin had dropped it, the liquid from the wine having spread and left stains on the floor. There was Arthur's glass, still intact on the table, and in the closed cabinet, there would be an empty vial, hidden from anyone who might have entered. At the time, merely hidden from Merlin. Arthur found a dirty shirt and used it to clean up the broken glass, and had a nameless servant dispose of it together with Arthur's untouched glass.

Getting ready for bed, Arthur noticed a stack of documents on his desk and looked through them, not remembering having left anything out. They turned out to be reports from Lancelot and Agravaine. Arthur got into bed, not thinking about the fact that he had had nothing but a couple of blueberries to eat that day and read the reports. Lancelot's was thorough and well documented. Arthur skimmed through the tedious tales of the harvest and skipped to the first sighting of magic.

Lancelot's description matched what the woman had told them. A bright red cloud had been spotted covering the forest and it had lasted half the night. Under Agravaine's orders, they had spend a few hours gathering up the citizens, making sure everyone was safe before investigating. They had split up in teams of three, Lancelot and Agravine leading one each. Lancelot's party had found nothing that could explain the cause of the red smoke, and after half an hour in the forest it disappeared, quickly, as if it had never been there at all.

Arthur compared the description to Agravaine's report. It was practically the same. They had protected the citizens, gone to investigate, Agravaine had taken sirs Lucan and Kay with him, but they had found nothing as they had searched, and eventually the smoke had cleared.

The following days, Lancelot had repeatedly asked for permission to search the forest, but Agravaine had denied him permission. This was not mentioned in Agravaine's report.

During their journey towards Camelot, Lancelot had finally gotten permission to do a quick search, but their efforts had been cut short as sir Lucan had been injured, the circumstances unknown. This was the same in both reports. Arthur would have Kay write up a report of the incident. If Lancelot had ordered them to stick together, any knight of Camelot would respect the word of the knight assigned to lead them. And Arthur knew that Kay, at the very least, wasn't a pure-blood. The young man would quite often spar against Percival during training, and got along well with Elyan, often riding close to him on missions.

Lucan on the hand was a pure-blood. His father, a close friend of Uther's, held many of the same beliefs as the king, and Lucan definitely shared many of those views. The first time he had been on a mission with a round table knight as his commander, they had gotten in a fight. Gwaine had promptly broken his nose, and Arthur had banned him from the tavern for three days as a punishment. As a friend who didn't actually think Gwaine had been too out of line, he had paid for his next trip to the tavern. It had been an expensive gesture, but he was the crown prince. He could afford it.

The reports weren't so different that there was anything inherently suspicious about it. Which made a lot of sense. If Agravaine was up to anything, he would hardly make it easy for Arthur to notice. For now, he could only be extra vigilant when it came to his uncle.

Arthur was woken the next morning by yet another new servant. He ate a plentiful breakfast to make up for the lack of food from the day before, and gathered all the fruits on a plate to bring with him to Gaius. He asked the servant to bring him blankets and a few pillows, which he then brought with him as well. Now that the harvest was over, it was getting colder and though material gifts were not exactly what Merlin wanted or needed, Arthur still felt that he deserved to be more comfortable.

"Oh great," Merlin said as Arthur entered his room, "You're back." Though his voice was sarcastic, Arthur was glad to hear that it wasn't as cold as yesterday.

"I thought you would like this," Arthur said and set down the pillows and blankets by the foot of the bed and shoved the plate of fruit into Merlin's hands.

"Thanks," Merlin answered, his voice still slightly sarcastic, but reached for a raspberry immediately.

"Not scared that it's poison anymore?" Arthur joked, and Merlin sent him a death glare.

"Shut up."

"You can't tell me what to do," Arthur said automatically, "I'm going to ask you some questions, and I want you to tell the truth. No lies, but you can choose not to answer."

Merlin rolled his eyes, "And here I thought you were here for a friendly visit and not an interrogation."

"You could consider it both," Arthur suggested, and got no reply. He continued: "The scar. The one I saw on our way to Mercia. Where did you get it?"

"I already told you," Merlin said as a matter of fact, "In the Darkling Woods."

"Yes, but that doesn't really tell me much, besides," Arthur continued, "I'm beginning to think that's a lie."

"Congratulations," Merlin said fakely and clapped his hands twice, "I lied about the woods. The truth is that I don't know how I got it. Aren't you happy that you know the truth now?"

"What do you mean you don't know?" Arthur asked perplexed. Arthur had a story behind every single one of his scars. Knew exactly how and where he had gotten them, what lesson he had learned, how he had grown stronger.

"I mean exactly that. I get hurt often and at some point I don't care to remember all of it. What's the point?"

Arthur wanted to say that the point was to stop from getting hurt again, but he knew what was going on. Merlin didn't get hurt because he was a warrior who was bested in a fight, Merlin got hurt to prevent Arthur from getting hurt. Merlin often said that Arthur wouldn't last a day without him, and Arthur was beginning to see the truth behind those words. Ironic how Merlin so willingly spilled the truth when Arthur didn't listen.

"What about the shoulder scar? The one Percival saw?"

"Serkets," Merlin said simply. It was like Arthur had suspected, but that just begged the question:

"How did you survive?"

"An old friend helped me," Merlin said crytically, and while Arthur knew that that meant he wasn't going to elaborate, he tried his luck anyway.

"Who?"

"His name is Kilgharrah."

"That sounds made up."

"Well, it's the truth," Merlin said and popped another raspberry into his mouth.

"And what about Agravaine?" Arthur asked, returning to the topic that kept tearing them apart.

"I told you. I have no evidence," Merlin said, seemingly unbothered by the topic. Perhaps the near death experience had made it harder to stir him up.

"Yet you still think he works for Morgana," Arthur pointed out, done with the lies. If he wanted Merlin to be honest with him, the least he could do was to tell him everything too.

"How did you-"

"I overheard you and Agravaine. You accused him of working for her," Arthur said simply. Eavesdropping could hardly be worse than accidentally poisoning Merlin in an attempt to force the truth out of him, so he didn't mind telling him.

Merlin got a weird look on his face, like Arthur puzzled him. "If you knew, why did you keep asking?"

"I wanted to know why you think that. You aren't one to think the worst of people, so he must have done something."

"He hasn't," Merlin said, "That's the problem. If he had done something, I could tell you. Just... I have a feeling."

"That's not enough-"

"Oh gee, thanks for letting me know that not having evidence is the problem here."

"It's not enough, but if you think I shouldn't trust him I won't. Merlin, if it ever came down to a choice between you and my uncle, I'd be a fool to not choose you."

Merlin looked him the eyes. His eyes were glossy and full of disbelief, but were slowly turning into something Arthur could only describe as wonder, "Do you really mean that?"

"I keep telling you. You're the worst damn servant I've ever had, so why do you think I keep you around?"

"Because my jokes are funny," Merlin smiled carefully. It was the first smile Arthur had seen since…

"They're not that funny," Arthur said, "I keep you because you're my friend. The first one I ever had. A friend who gives me great advice, who would follow me into battle with no armor and a sword you can't even use correctly, and who is loyal to a fault. I've faced bandits, enemy knights, magical beasts and an actual dragon, and you were right there beside me through all of it. What kind of friend would I be to cast that aside?"

Merlin's smile faltered a little, and Arthur could only wonder why. That was the nicest thing Arthur had ever said to him, maybe even to anyone.

"I'm sorry I lied to you," Merlin said and looked down, his fingers fiddling with the blanket draped over his legs, "I don't want to lie to you."

"I know," Arthur said, "But I can understand why you feel it's necessary."

"No I..." Merlin said, like he was working up the courage to say something, "I haven't been completely honest about that either. There's more. I was... scared."

"Of banishment? Yes, you've mentioned that a couple of times."

"No. I was scared of you. Of everyone. I've always been told not to tell anyone."

That made Arthur stop and think. He had always been told not to tell? Always? Something wasn't adding up, but Merlin seemed to still be working up his courage, and Arthur knew that Merlin was braver than anyone, so he didn't speak. Merlin reached out for Arthur and took his hand. Arthur thought it was to keep himself grounded as Merlin took a deep breath and closed his eyes.

"You told me," Merlin said slowly, "That you would choose me. That nothing I could do would make you want me dead."

"Yes," Arthur confirmed, bracing himself for absolutely everything Merlin could possibly say now. That Merlin had forced Morgana to turn evil. That Merlin had tried to kill him once. That Merlin was a secret spy sent by an enemy kingdom. That Merlin had released the great dragon. The Merlin had somehow been the reason for his mother's death. Arthur prepared himself for everything, knowing that something Merlin would keep locked away, hidden and refusing to share even if it could cost him his life, would have to be something that would change Arthur's entire worldview.

"Everything I do," Merlin continued, his voice shaking ever so slightly, "I do for you Arthur. You know that right?"

"Yes," Arthur said again, and Merlin squeezed his hand before letting go again.

"Please. Please don't think differently of me."

Arthur looked down at the hand Merlin had let go of, feeling a weight that hadn't been there before. Gold and red met his eyes, as he looked at the rose in his hand that had definitely appeared out of thin air.

#bbc merlin #i'm yours #chapter 9 #chapter nine

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vcdbtch · 3 years

Text

Blood and Bruises

Merlin x Arthur

Graphic description of blood/beating. Major character death. Crying. Love confessions. Death. Suicide warning

"Morning Gaius" Merlin mumbled sleepily as he stumbled out of his room and slumping down into the chair, immediately digging into his breakfast.

"Morning" Gaius chuckled at the young boy's eagerness for food.

"you're in a good mood today"

"you know what? i am" Merlin grinned.

While there was nothing special about Today, Merlin just had a good feeling. He got an extra 15 minutes sleep in before he was woken up by the calming sounds of bird songs in the woods. Now, he was eating his favourite breakfast watching as his mentor flipped through some medicine books, no doubt trying to find a cure to a certain illness.

"Merlin, can you get-" Gaius started but was cut off by the doors being kicked open.

Merlin snapped his head around and his eyes widened when he was met with Guards walking over to him, accompanied with a very angry looking Uther. He felt his stomach churn when he realised what was happening, they had found out about his Magic. Though, he would like to just say this was a misunderstanding, the look on the King's face showed he knew exactly what he was doing.

"What are you doing?" Merlin yelped when two guards yanked him onto his feel by his arms with an unnecessary amount of force. He momentarily struggled against their grip, causing them to tighten their holds on his arms which sent a wave of pain through his body. Eventually he gave up and let them drag him, after all he had made a promise with himself that if he was ever to get caught he would do nothing to fight back, he would accept his fate.

"Please, stop" Merlin cried out when they picked him up by the arms and carried him out of the room. Uther gestured for them to stop right in front of him which made Merlin's heart hammer against his chest.

He started deep into Merlin's eyes with pure rage and malice before he slapped the warlock on the side of his face, cutting his cheek with his ring before his expression turned into a proud smirk.

"take him to the cells, he will be executed at dawn tomorrow" Uther ordered his guards before locking eyes with him again, "and make sure he gets a good beating"

***

The first thing Merlin was aware of when he woke up was the pain. He was slumped against the wall at an awkward angle, his bloodied and broken wrists shackled to the wall. Every single bone and muscle in his body hurt, he was just thankful he was sitting down. The angle his back was lying made the pain in his side worsen but he was afraid if he moved the pain in his torso would become excruciatingly harder to tolerate. Just breathing was enough to make pain shoot through his torso making him dizzy. He desperately tries to keep his eyes open for he knows if he lets darkness overcome him, he wont get a chance to explain his past to anyone. He takes in a large, shuddering breath that sends jolts of pain through his entire body, making little black dots appear in his vision more and more until it took over him.

Arthur ran as fast as he could through the halls of Camelot. He didn't care that he was in his night clothes or that he had just knocked out the guards outside his room, all he cared about was getting to Merlin. He wasn't exactly sure what he was expecting to see when he got down to the cells, all he know's is Merlin's in danger and that's all he cares about. Even when Percival burst through the doors in the middle of the night and told him that his servant was being accused of Sorcery it didn't even cross his mind that his friend was a possible traitor, all he wanted to do was see his friend and get him out alive.

He skidded to a stop when the Guards at the cells abruptly stood up and blocked his path. "i'm sorry sire, but we have be ordered not to let you through"

Anger flared in Arthur's nostrils and before he could even consider the consequences, he roughly shoved both of the guards aside, causing them to hit their heads on the stone walls and fall to the ground. He clenched his fist and took a deep breath before he stumbled down the stairs, almost tripping as he did so but he braced himself on the railing. As soon as he reached the bottom and caught a glimpse of his friend, his knees weakened and he fell to the ground.

He crawled over to the edge of the cell and wrapped his hands around the bars, his finger's clenching in anger and shock. He felt his heart shatter inside his stomach when his eyes darted all over his body, taking all of his injuries in.

Merlin was slumped against the wall at an awkward angle, his bloodied hands were lying limp above his head as they were shackled to the wall. The entire right side of his face was bruised and bloodied, wounds that looked like they were from being hit with the blunt side of a sword repeatedly. His tunic was ripped in the middle, giving Arthur a view of his stomach that was painted with purple bruises and crimson blood. There were multiple gashes on his arms and chest which still had blood trickling out of them, dropping onto the stone floor. His eyes were closed, his stomach rising up and down as he took in short staggering breaths like each one could be the last.

"Oh my god Merlin" Arthur's voice was barely above a whisper.

Merlin momentarily heard what sounded like a whisper in his ears but nothing seemed certain anymore. His entire body felt oddly numb, the only thing he could feel is his heartbeat thumping against his ribs. He heard another whisper and this time he knew it was real, he could hear their voice echoing inside his head.

Slowly and with much force, he forced his eyes open and lifted his gaze to see Arthur kneeled on the ground outside the cell, his hands gripping the bars so tight his fingers are white.

"Arthur" he mumbled and instantly regretted it as another wave of pain shot through him, momentarily blurring his vision before he is able to see properly again.

Arthur felt a lump form in his throat as he watched his friend try to keep his eyes open, only for them to flutter open and closed. A new found rage coursed it's way through his body and all he can see is red. His mind is clear and there is only one objective, one thought rushing through his brain: save Merlin.

"i'll get you out of here" Arthur swallowed thickly before he stood up and fumbled with the keys on his belt until he found the right one. He unlocked the cell and instantly kicking the door out of the way, running over to Merlin and holding his head in his hands.

"Come on, stay awake" Arthur whispered, tapping his cheeks softly to force him to keep his eyes open.

He quickly reached to his side and grabbed the keys for the shackles, releasing the metal and releasing his wrists. Merlin's bruised and bloodied arms fall limply into his lap, causing him to groan thickly. Arthur carefully slid one arm behind his back and the other under his knees, situating his head to fall onto his shoulder before standing up and carrying him bridal style out of the cell.

Arthur briefly looked down at his friends unconscious form and a new found determination courses through him. "You're going to be fine" he whispered into the boys ear before he walked briskly down the opposite hall of the Guards and walked out of the cells.

The last thing Merlin was aware of is Arthur whispering something in his ears before his eyes become clouded and he slips back into the world of darkness.

***

After a few hours of stumbling through the woods in the darkness, Arthur decided it was best to make camp. He carefully sat Merlin down against a tree, taking his cloak of and tucking it around his small figure. He briefly strayed away from camp far enough to get some firewood before he came back to camp and makes a fire pit. It took him a few attempts to actually produce a spark big enough to start a flame and he finds himself momentarily wondering how Merlin could do it so easily?

Arthur turned his attention to Merlin and almost immediately he felt sick. The blood had now dried up on various parts of his body, almost staining his skin a permanent red. His breathing was still fast and shallow, as if it was going to stop all together any minute now. Arthur swallowed thickly and walked over to his side, dropping to his knees and gently taking his face into his hands. He gently moves his head to get a better look at the wound on his head, wincing when he realised it to be deeper than it appeared earlier. He walked over to the bags he had brought and retrieved his dagger and the water he had brought. He used the dagger to cut off a large piece of his shirt before he drenched it in water and set about cleaning the blood off his face.

"I'm sorry Merlin" Arthur mumbled when the warlock briefly winced at the contact, his forehead creasing slightly as his eyes screw tight.

Merlin's eyes fluttered open with great difficulty and for a few moments all he could see is blackness and the only sound he could hear was a muffled ringing, like he was trapped inside his own body. He managed to blink a few times which cleared his vision enough to see Arthur looking back down at him, his blue eyes filled to the brim with tears that wouldn't fall.

"Arthur" Merlin breathed out.

"It's okay, you're going to be okay" Arthur whispered and brought a hand to the left side of Merlin's face, gently grazing his cheekbones with his thumb.

The corner of Merlin's mouth twitched upwards as he leans into Arthur's hand, the coolness numbing the pain on his face. He knew he didn't have long to go, his entire body felt numb and he could feel the ribs grazing against each other when he moved. You didn't have to be a physician to know someone with the amount of blood loss and broken bones Merlin currently had wouldn't last long without proper treatment. Both Arthur and Merlin knew going back to Camelot was out of the question, the King would kill Merlin on the spot and disown Arthur.

"I-" Merlin started but was cut off by a shuddering pain.

"Shh, don't talk" Arthur whispered, trying to keep his face neutral enough so he didn't scare Merlin with his worry.

"I-i'm not going to make it" Merlin swallowed thickly as tears brimmed his eyes. Though, he wasn't sure if they were from the pain coursing through his body or the idea he was dying.

"No, you're going to be fine Merlin" Arthur lent down and pressed their foreheads together, the tears sliding down his cheeks drop into Merlin's face and slide down like his own.

"A-rthur"

Arthur pulled back to look into Merlin's eyes. He gently used his thumb to wipe the tears off his cheeks, trying his best to comfort his friend until they figure out what to do. "You're going to be fine, you cant die on me Merlin, i wont let you"

Merlin let out a breathly chuckle and clutched Arthur's shirt with his hands, desperatly trying to find the right words. He needed to explain everything he's ever done, why he's kept his magic a secret for so long, he knew his friends deserved to know. He knew he was getting deeper and deeper into the black abis where death would await and he knew there was nothing that could be done to stop it.

"I'm sorry" Merlin said, voice thick with tears. "I'm sorry I lied, I love y-you"

Arthur choked back a sob as he looked down at his best friend's broken and bloodied body. He too knew there wasn't a lot they could do, especially not without help from a physician.

"I love you too" Arthur sobbed and before he can stop himself he leans down and pressed his lips against Merlin's. As soon as their lips touched a shiver went down both of their spines, their heart's fluttering in their chests at how right it felt. Their lips fit together like two pieces of a puzzle. Arthur had always known deep down that the feelings he felt for his manservant were more than one would feel for a friend.

The two broke away when it became too exhausting for Merlin to breathe. He slumped back down in Arthur's arm and let his head loll onto his shoulder, feeling the Prince's large biceps against his head. He could feel himself drifting away again, but this time he fought to keep himself alive otherwise he knew it may not wake up.

"Merlin!" Arthur cried and shook the boy, earning a slight whimper. He sighed a breath of relief and situated himself against the tree, repositioning Merlin's head to lean on his own.

"Please, there has to be something I can do!" Arthur sobbed, "Anything!"

Merlin fluttered his eyes open and smiled weakly at his Prince, willing to do whatever it takes for a servant. "There's nothing.. y-you can do"

Arthur's breath hitched in his throat when he realised Merlin had given up on himself. He knew there would be no way in saving him if he couldn't even believe in himself.

"A-Arthur-" Merlin was cut off by the feeling of blood rising in his throat. He let out a choked cough, spluttering blood all over his face and Arthur's shoulder.

"No!, Merlin please i cant-" Arthur trailed off and pressed their foreheads together.

"Y-you will b-be a great K-king. It was an h-honour working b-beside you" Merlin smiled weakly and brought a shaky hand up to wipe the King's tears off his cheeks, "G-Good bye"

And with that, Merlin's hand slumped down to his side. His usual bright blue eyes were glazed over and staring back up at his Prince like a statue. Arthur's heart hammered in his chest as looked back into his eyes that seemed to get duller by the minute.

"Merlin?" He breathed out and shook Merlin's body. heart dropping in his chest when Merlin's head lolled backwards out of Arthur's grip. "Merlin!" He tried again. He let out a heartbreaking sob and clutched Merlin's hand in his, squeezing it so tight he would have broke his knuckles, had they not already been broke. "Please, please wake up! i cant-"

He doubled over, wracking with sobs as he lifted Merlin's limp body and held it to his chest. He placed one hand on Merlin's head, holding him close and the other held Merlin's waist. Wave upon wave of indescribable pain washed over his body and he briefly wondered if he would die of a broken heart.

Arthur lost track of time that passed while he sat there, rocking Merlin's lifeless body in his arms and whispering his name over and over again until he eventually cried himself out of tears. He clutched Merlin's body close for a few moments before he pulled apart and looked back into the eyes of the man he loved and as soon as he caught a glimpse of hazy eyes , his heart shattered all over again. His usual bright blue orbs that somehow managed to brighten the day were now reduced to a dull shade of grey, like he held his life in his eyes and that life had just been sucked out of him.

He raised a shaky hand to his lovers eyes and forced them closed, watching as his long eyelashes scraped upon his bloodied cheeks.

"I love you Merlin" Arthur sobbed. "i'm sorry"

He pressed one last kiss to Merlin's cool lips before gently lowering him to the ground and crawling to where he left his sword. He knew what he had to do, there wasn't anything left for him anymore. Merlin was the centre of everything. His Kingdom, his title, his life, it all tied back to the warlock.

With shaky hands, he gripped the hilt of his sword tightly in his hands, aiming the blade towards his chest. His eyes filtered back down to his love once more, taking in the pale skin and blue lips as he lay peacefully on the grass, and the Prince's mind made the decision for him.

"I'm coming, Merlin" He whispered before his eyes hardened and he thrust his hands forward, the blade slicing deep into his chest.

The pain was unlike any battle wound he had faced before, but it was nothing compared to the pain he felt watching the light fade from Merlin's eyes.

He could feel himself slipping, teetering on the edge of death as blood soaked his tunic. With his last remaining strength, he pulled the sword out and threw it to his side, moving to lie beside his servant. He felt around until he found Merlin's hand, still slightly warm, and weakly grasped onto it. Just as his eyes grew heavy, he turned his head to look at the man he loved one last time before everything faded into a black abyss.

- When the Prince doesn't return home and a search party is sent out for him, the Knights find he and Merlin's lifeless bodies lying in a meadow, holding each other close.

The news is soon delivered to the kingdom, tears are shed, words are shouted, but in the end everyone is at peace because they know the boys are together again in a new life.

#merlin x arthur #arthur pendragon #sad arthur #hurt merlin #gay #love #love confessions #major character death

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solign0501 · 6 years

Text

La Morte D’Winchester

Part 3

Summary - Sam and Dean Winchester are looking desperately for ways to stop the apocalypse and the inevitable choice between being themselves or being a vessel for Michael and Lucifer. One day, potential new ally Crowley pops up with info on a young witch who might be able to help - problem is, they have to travel back… to a land of myth and a time of magic

A/N: This is a fic that my best friend and I started writing a couple of years ago, set around Season 5 of Supernatural - thought we’d upload it here and see how y’all like it!

Warning - it’s long…. like 30+ chapters long and we’re not finished yet! Also present day chapters in the present tense, historic in the past - see what we did there? :) (as an aside, we know the French in the title is incorrect)

"Your exits are located here, here, and here. If the cabin pressure drops oxygen masks will fall in front of you. Make sure you put your own mask on before helping anyone else". The safety presenter says over the speakers.

"Cabin pressure, exits, oxygen mask? Sammy I need to get off this damn plane" Dean says rubbing his palms on his knees.

"Dude calm down, the chances of anything happening is about as likely as Cas without a trench coat" Sam says trying to lighten the mood.

"…a whistle is located on the life jacket if needed. Have a pleasant flight" The safety presentation ends and the air stewards take their seats.

"Breathe Dean, Breathe" Dean tries to reassure himself.

The plane engines roar to signal its take off. Dean starts to hum AC/DC's Back in Black, Sam joins him to relax his brother.

When the fasten seatbelt sign is switched off, Dean jumps up.

"Dude I need a drink," he says to Sam.

An air stewardess looks at Sam. "Is he ok?" she asks him. Sam nods, smiling reassuringly.

"It's gonna be a long flight" Sam says getting comfy for the next 8 hours.

*****************************************************************************

"Merlin!" Merlin grumbled as Gaius' voice brought him round.

"Merlin!" The door opened and Gaius walked in.

"You'd better hurry up or you'll be late" He looked around Merlin's room and sighed. "And get this room sorted, WITHOUT magic"

Merlin grumbled again and threw the covers back.

"I'll make breakfast, Hurry up"

A few moments later, Merlin fell down the stairs into Gaius' main chamber, earning a tut and an eye roll from his mentor.

Grabbing the bread from the plate, Merlin dashed out of the room, mumbling a goodbye at Gaius through a mouth full of bread whilst he tied his scarf in place.

"You're late…" Arthur snapped as Merlin burst through the door.

"And you're dressed…" Merlin stammered, catching his breath.

"Observant, as always" He put down the papers he was reading and scowled at Merlin "Where is my breakfast?"

"I thought you could diet today Sire" Merlin said, ducking as a well-aimed candle sailed past his head.

He stood back up and grinned widely at Arthur. The Prince softened slightly. He was fond of his friend, but he kept his face level.

"Forget it. You're such a useless servant you'd only give me food poisoning anyway. What you can do is get my boots polished, my horse groomed and ready and bring my sword and crossbow. I've decided to go hunting".

"That explains why you're dressed. Will it be okay for you to leave the castle?" Merlin inquired.

"We haven't seen Morgana for months. It will be safe for us to go out" Arthur said matter-of-factly.

"Us?" Merlin said, dreading Arthur's response.

"Yes, us" He clapped Merlin on the back. "You're coming too; though try not to let the deer scare you too much".

Merlin laughed sarcastically as Arthur walked away into his bed area.

Cursing Arthur in his head, he went down to the armoury to collect Arthur's weapons before telling Gaius where they were going.

Gaius was in Uther's chambers when Merlin went to find him. He held the cup to the king's lips as Merlin walked in.

"How is he?" Merlin asked, walking up to Uther's chair.

"There's been no change. His mind is broken by what happened." Gaius straightened up and looked at Merlin. "I honestly don't know what more I can do for him"

They both stood and looked at Uther for a moment. "Does Arthur need me?" Gaius asked eventually.

"No" Merlin said, stirring from his thoughts. "He wants to go hunting"

"And you're going with him?" Gaius said, more as a statement rather than a question. Merlin nodded, still looking at Uther.

"Do you want me to try something again?" Gaius shook his head.

"I don't think it will work Merlin, and we should not risk Arthur finding out, or Uther remembering."

Merlin nodded again, feeling sorry for the man in front of him. He may not be the fairest of kings, but nobody deserved to be brought low like this.

"You could light a fire," Gaius said, checking Uther's temperature. "The warmth will do him good"

Merlin turned to the fire and held out his right hand. "Forburnan" his eyes glowed gold and a fire sprang to life in the hearth.

"MERLIN!" Gaius exclaimed, slapping him round the head with the back of his hand.

"Ow!" Merlin said, whilst rubbing his head and looked wounded.

"Don't use your magic, you fool" he scolded, turning back to Uther. "You had better go and get the horses ready before Arthur finds you and gives you more work to do"

"Right, see you in a while" Merlin turned to go.

"Merlin" Gaius called to him. "Be careful. Morgana may still be out there, hiding. Watch Arthur, but keep yourself safe too" He looked at Merlin over the top of his glasses,

"I will Gaius, I promise." Merlin flashed him his famous goofy grin, before turning and hurrying out of the room, nearly bumping into Arthur as he walked in.

"Where are you going?" Arthur asked side-stepping Merlin and glaring at the warlock.

"The get the horses ready," Merlin said, speeding off.

Arthur shook his head, allowing himself to slightly grin before becoming serious again as he turned to face his farther, and a weight fell on his shoulders as he saw him.

"Your highness," Gaius said, bowing.

"How is he, Gaius?"

"The same sire. I am giving him every combination of teas and tinctures I can think of, but his heart and mind are broken".

"Morgana" Uther murmured. "Why Morgana?" Arthur choked back a lump in his throat.

"Leave us please, Gaius" Arthur commanded, trying to keep his voice level. Gaius gathered his things and made to the door to leave. "Thank you" he said quietly.

Gaius paused, bowing to Arthur, "Sire," he said affectionately before leaving.

"Father?" Arthur said gently, walking over to Uther's chair. "How are you father?" Uther didn't acknowledge his son. Instead he stared out of the window at some distant point.

Arthur sighed and took the seat opposite his father, "Our scouting parties came back this morning. The borders are safe, the outlying villages will be bringing in the harvests soon," He took a breath as he recalled the standard reports given to him that morning. "The store rooms are well stocked and the city's water supply was cleaned out. Gaius says that illness levels are down in the upper and lower cities." He steeled himself as he came to his main point.

"There has been no sighting of Morgana for three months." Uther's head snapped round and he seemed to look at Arthur for the first time.

"Morgana" he reached out and took Arthur's hand in his, gripping tight. "Why Morgana?"

"Father, it's me, its Arthur."

"Morgana, What have you done? I love you, my daughter. Why would you do this?" He broke and started to sob. Arthur leaned forward, hugging his father tight, a tear rolling down his cheek.

"It will be fine Father," he whispered.

"Find her. And tell my son I need him. Bring Arthur to me. Arthur!" he shouted "Arthur!"

Gaius came running in and helped to pull Uther back.

"Help me get him into his bed, before he raises an alarm," Arthur commanded as Uther continued to shout his name.

Together they half carried him over to his bed and lay him down, pulling the quilt over his father. Uther's cries died down to mumbling and then to silence as he slowly drifted off to sleep.

"I'm so sorry Sire," Gaius said, putting his hand on Arthur's shoulder. Arthur reached up and grasped his hand, trying to stop the tears falling freely.

"Just take care of him Gaius." He gave Gaius's hand an affectionate squeeze before turning and walking out.

#supernatural #merlin #supernatural merlin #supernatural merlin crossover #emrys #arthur pendragon #prince arthur #bbc merlin #camelot #uther pendragon #gaius #sam winchester #dean winchester

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little-ligi · 3 years

Text

Febuwhump - No. 12

No.12 - “Who Are You?” Fandom - BBC Merlin Wordcount - 1822 @febuwhump

“You can’t be serious?” Merlin cried, gazing up into the dragon’s huge face.

“It is your destiny to stand at his side and save his life, young warlock,” the great beast said in his wise voice.

Merlin was beginning to regret following the voice he’d heard in his head down to this cave. He could’ve still been asleep in his nice new bed, rather than being given some ridiculous rescue mission by a dragon. Perhaps he was still in his bed, perhaps this was a dream? He pinched his arm. It hurt a lot. Damn. He looked back up at the dragon.

“I’ve only been in this city since this afternoon!” he told him. “I don’t even know who the prince is.”

Continue reading on Ao3, FF.net or below! 👇

The dragon closed its eyes and leaned its head down to Merlin’s, the hot breath from its nose washing over him, ruffling his hair.

An image appeared in his mind; a handsome, blond young man, fast asleep in a huge, red velvet covered bed. A shadow was moving in the corner of the room, and Merlin saw the glint of a long thin knife. A dark cloaked figure dashed forwards, arm raised, the knife sweeping down, plunging into the sleeping prince who woke with a ragged scream that was cut off abruptly as the figure stabbed him again and again.

Merlin cried out in vain. The image withdrew, replaced with a maze of corridors and hallways, staircases and doorways, a route from the prince’s room down, down into the very cave Merlin was standing.

“This assassination has not yet taken place,” the dragon whispered, raising its head again, its golden eyes boring into him. “It will happen tonight. I have shown you the way. Go. You must save the prince’s life.”

“But –”

“There is no time to lose, young warlock. Go.”

Merlin gave the great dragon one more suspicious glare before turning and running back through the cave towards the stairs that would lead him up into the castle. He leapt up the steps two at a time, only tripping once, but managing to not fall and carry on running. He sprinted along, his feet unconsciously following the route the dragon had placed in his mind until he came to a set of double wooden doors. He snatched for the latch to open them, bouncing backwards when he found them locked.

“Aliese!”

He shoved his hand against the door again, throwing magic into it as he did so. He heard the bolt slide across on the opposite side and the door swung open.

The moonlight was filtering in through the partially open curtains and the room looked just like it had in the dragon’s vision. Merlin hurried as quietly as he could towards the bed; he didn’t want to risk waking the prince up in case the dragon was wrong. But the prince remained fast asleep, his head turned towards Merlin on the rich velvety pillow. He was lying on his back, one arm flung up over his head, the other fisted in the blanket under his chin.

Merlin skirted around the end of the bed, going straight to the corner that the assassin had been hiding in the vision. The corner was empty. A quick check of the other corners and any alcoves where someone could be hiding, found the room completely assassin-less. He let out a gusty sigh of relief as he stepped backwards out from behind the dressing screen.

“Who are you?” a harsh voice behind him demanded and he felt a short blade pressed right up against his back.

He spun around. The prince was awake. Damn, Merlin must have made a noise without realising it. He was barefoot and naked to the waist but his grip on the dagger and his easy fighting stance made him seem intimidating nevertheless.

“Who are you?” he spat again.

“I’m Merlin. Who are you?” he snapped back, internally berating himself for asking such a stupid question.

“I’m Prince Arthur,” he said, smugly Merlin thought, and jabbed the dagger in Merlin’s direction. “What the bloody hell are you doing in my bedroom? You’re clearly not some kind of assassin so… what? A pervert who gets off on watching people sleep? Or just a simpleton who can’t find the servants’ quarters?”

Merlin caught a flicker of movement from behind the prince. The window was slowly opening as a dark clad figure eased their way over the windowsill. Of course, right now was when the real assassin had chosen to turn up. Great.

“I’m here to save your life,” he told the prince then tackled him to the floor as the assassin ran towards him, knife raised.

Pain erupted in Merlin’s shoulder as he fell; the assassin’s knife had caught him instead of the prince. He looked back up at the hooded figure and pushed his magic out, making the assassin fall. The prince scrabbled up from underneath Merlin, wielding his own dagger. He pushed Merlin aside and stabbed the assassin in the stomach. The man’s hands uselessly grabbed at the blade in his belly and he staggered backwards, toppling over. The prince leapt on him, kicking his knife away.

“Guards!” he yelled, pinning the struggling man down and punching him squarely on the jaw to knock him out. “Guards!”

A few moments later, three uniformed men with swords drawn burst into the room, surveying the scene with expressions of surprise.

“Your Highness?” one of them asked uncertainly.

“Fetch my father, tell him I have apprehended an assassin… and this idiot” – he jerked his thumb at Merlin. Then seemed to notice the cut across Merlin’s shoulder, blood staining his white nightshirt. He tutted. “Get Gaius too.”

“No, you don’t need to tell Gaius,” Merlin whined. His uncle would probably tell him off for this.

“Shut up,” the prince said to him before turning to the guards. “Go, now.”

“Yes, sire.” Two of them hurried off.

With a final twist of the dagger in the assassin’s belly, the prince stood up, looking up at the third guard and gesturing to the body.

“Get him out of my room.” The guard grabbed the unconscious assassin and dragged him to the door.

The prince sighed, dropped the bloodied dagger to the floor and stomped across his room to the jug and washbasin in one corner. He poured water over his hands, rinsing off the blood, then grabbed a cloth and dipped it into the clean water in the jug.

Merlin was twisting around, trying to get a look at the cut on the back of his shoulder, but the prince shoved him face down to the floor, kneeling at his side and pressing the damp cloth to the wound.

“Who are you again?” he asked, pressing hard.

Merlin hissed in pain.

“Merlin.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you before.”

“I only came to Camelot this afternoon.”

“And yet you decided it was a good idea to break into the prince’s private rooms in the middle of the night?”

“Well, the stupid dragon in the caves told me you were going to be assassinated and I had to stop it,” Merlin blurted. He wasn’t really thinking about what he was saying, his mind occupied by the pain in his shoulder and the cold floor pressed against his cheek.

“The stupid…” The prince sat back on his heels, his hand falling from Merlin’s shoulder. “The what?!”

“The… dragon…” Merlin’s voice petered out slowly, he got the feeling he really shouldn’t have mentioned anything. Clearly the prince didn’t know here was a dragon chained up under his palace. Oh shit. Gaius’s words suddenly filtered back into his mind. Magic was banned in this kingdom… dragons were seen as evil… magic-users were executed. Oh shit.

Panic welling in his chest, he scrabbled up to his knees, facing the dumbfounded prince.

“Do you have some sort of mental affliction?” the prince demanded.

“No!”

“But you think you can talk to dragons?” He gave him a sceptical look.

“No?” Merlin lied, hoping it didn’t sound as completely idiotic as he felt. But the prince hadn’t jumped to the conclusion that Merlin had magic. He obviously hadn’t noticed Merlin knocking the assassin over either. So perhaps it was better for him to believe Merlin was just a bit simple?

“Honestly… Who the fuck are you?” The prince was angry again now. He snatched up his dagger once more, pointing it at Merlin’s chest.

“No one, I’m just… I’m Gaius’s nephew, I came to stay with him. I… I didn’t plan on talking to a dragon,” Merlin rambled, unable to stop himself in the face of the prince’s dagger. “Or meeting you or… or anything. I just came to learn to be a physician…”

The prince frowned. His eyes flickered from Merlin’s face, to the small bloodstain where the assassin had fallen then around the room before landing on the closed door.

“You’re too stupid to be a physician. I should call the guards back…”

“I just saved your life, you prat!” Merlin shouted. How hard was it to just say thank you? Then clamped his mouth shut when the prince raised his eyebrows, his hand shifting on the dagger.

The prince pierced him with a steely gaze, his bright blue eyes holding Merlin frozen with scrutiny. Merlin tried not to blink. Eventually, he put the dagger down.

“There’s something about you…” he muttered. His eyes narrowed fractionally.

But before Merlin could say anything the door was flung open.

“Arthur!” came a shout then an imposing looking man strode into the room, flanked by guards.

He must be the king, Merlin surmised, confirmed a second later when the prince stood.

“Father.” He gestured out into the hallway again. “Did you see the assassin?”

“Yes. Well done,” he commented lightly, then scowled around the room. “How did he get in?” He glanced down and saw Merlin on the floor. “An accomplice?” he growled, stalking forwards and grabbing a handful of Merlin’s shirt.

“No.” Frowning, the prince put a hand on his father’s arm until the king let go of Merlin. “He, uh, he saved my life.”

The king’s eyebrows shot up so high it would have been funny if Merlin wasn’t so anxious about his reaction.

“This servant? Saved your life?”

“Well-” The prince pulled a face, clearly unhappy to admit he’d been saved by a mere servant after hearing the disbelief and derision in his father’s voice. Prat, Merlin thought. “He woke me up so I could deal with it. And got in the way of the dagger.” He gestured to Merlin’s cut shoulder.

The king gave a surprised laugh. “Very well. You shall be rewarded,” he said to Merlin. Merlin sat up a little straighter, a bemused smile crossing over his face. “You shall be the prince’s manservant,” the king proclaimed, nodding and turning away from Merlin.

“What?” the prince spluttered. “Father!”

Merlin’s head dropped into his hands. Oh great.

#febuwhump2021 #febuwhumpday12 #who are you #bbc merlin #fanfiction #different first meeting #bloody riddle dragon #protective merlin #oblivious arthur #ligi writes

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vcdbtch · 3 years

Text

Cold as ice

Pairings: Arthur x Merlin

It started with a fever.

Merlin, Arthur and the knights were on a regular hunt, this time though they decided to venture further away from Camelot than they ever had. About 3 days away to be exact. They were just about to catch some animals when a sudden rustle in the bushes frightened them and they scattered away. Arthur looked back at Merlin with a glare, thinking he had scared them off again, but when he saw his manservant was no where near the animal, he grew suspicious.

Arthur being Arthur, brushed it off as a slight shift in the wind and mounted his horse, signalling for the group to keep moving. Merlin, on the other hand, could sense something was wrong. His magic was pounding at the walls of his skin, begging him to let it free.

"Sire, is it really a good idea to stray this far away from Camelot? we're already three days away and if one of us gets injured, we wont get back in time" Merlin argued.

Arthur turned and shot him a glare. He too knew they were taking a risk but he didn't care, as far as he was concerned no one would get injured so they would be fine.

"we will be fine, don't be such a girl Merlin" Arthur rolled his eyes before he signalled for the group to stop again.

The group did what they were told and stopped, waiting for further orders from their King. After the King scanned the area and found nothing, something in the back of his mind told him they shouldn't venture much further.

"we'll go just over the ridge and set up camp then head back tomorrow" Arthur ordered. The rest of the group nodded in response and urged their horses further. After another 20 minute ride the group arrived at the ridge. They dismounted their horses and tethered them to trees just near the edge of the stream so they could reach the water.

Once camp was set up, Merlin was tasked to make dinner with the little supplies they had. With only a few pieces of bread and vegetables, Merlin was able to make a meal which was only just big enough to feed everyone, provided no one went back for seconds.

The group sat in comfortable silence, the only sounds were slurping sounds from Gwaine and a couple howls of wind. After they finished their meals Merlin set off to clean up. Just as he was about to grab the plates he felt his magic thumping at the walls of his skin, telling him danger was near. He stopped what he was doing and carefully looked around, making sure to cover every inch. After he found nothing, he shrugged it off and began cleaning the plates.

He walked down to the stream and began rinsing the plates, humming a gentle melody to himself as he did so. The feeling of his magic screaming at him to let it out never went away like usual, which meant the danger was still present, and that had Merlin on edge.

He was happily humming to himself, listening to the relaxing sounds of the steam water trickling when a horrid scream was heard. Merlin immediately dropped the plates and ran back to camp. His heart hammered in his chest when he saw the knights fighting some horrid creature.

He carefully snuck behind a tree, careful not to step on any twigs that could blow his cover. He muttered some words under his breath and almost instantly the creature screamed, but that didn't seem to slow it down. Merlin kept trying different spells, wracking his brain until the beast finally started to slow down.

Just when Merlin thought it was weak enough for the knights to handle it themselves, it reared up on its hind legs and swiped its claw down towards Arthur. On instinct, the warlock darted forward and pushed the king out of the way, screaming in agony as it's claws nicked his back, ripping him to shreds.

The knights watched in horror as Merlin lie on the cold grass, barely moving apart from a few shivers and jagged breaths. Arthur turned his attention back to the creature as it took it's last few breaths and crashed to the ground with a thump large enough to shake the ground and knock a few of the knights over.

Arthur scrambled to his feet and ran over to his manservant who was shuddering violently. He knelt down beside the frail boy, putting a shaky hand up this neck to feel his pulse. It was nothing but a faint thump against his fingers.

"god damn it Merlin" Arthur shouted.

Arthur took his cloak off and gently cocooned him in it before picking him up and taking him back to camp. The other knights set off to find firewood, leaving Arthur, Lancelot and Merlin alone.

Lancelot walked over and sat on a fallen down branch that Merlin was propped up on. He listened to his breathing very carefully, making sure it was even. He cursed under his breath when the slight wheezing sounds filled his ears.

Soon enough the wheezing became sudden gasps as the boy desperately tried to get as much air as he could, despite being unconscious.

"what's happening?" Arthur asked as he tried to hold back tears.

"his asthma is acting up, he needs to get to Gaius" Lance explained as he kneeled beside the boy and put his hand on his chest, feeling the shaky breaths.

"Asthma? what the hell is that?"

" It's an inflammatory disease of the lungs, basically his airways are becoming narrow and it's making him harder to breathe" lance explained. "Gaius has a special medicine for him when this happens, we have about 15 hours to get him back otherwise he wont make it"

Arthur's breath hitched in his throat. "how long has he had this for?"

"Since a little kid"

"why didn't he tell me?" Arthur frowned.

"he didn't want to worry anyone, plus he had it under control" Lance smiled sympathetically.

"There’s no way we're going to get him back in time, we're easily almost four days away" Arthur's voice cracked as guilt hit him. This was all his fault. Merlin had warned him and tried to get him to turn back but he didn't listen, all because he wanted to kill a stupid animal

"we could go to Elador, it's about a days ride back towards Camelot. It's going to be risky but we may be able to make it in time if we leave before sun up" Lance told him before he got up to help the others with the fire.

They set up a fire and moved Merlin closer to it as his body became greyer and greyer by the second. Small, random shudders running down his spine as his teeth chatter slightly. Arthur wrapped his cloak tighter around the boy, rubbing his warm hands up his arm. His heart sped up when he felt how cold the servant was from underneath all of his articles of clothing.

***

The next morning the group woke up just before sun up and set off on their journey to Elador. Arthur hauled Merlin onto his horse, climbing on behind him and leaning his small, frail body against his before wrapping his arms around the boy and taking off.

The group silently rode through the woods, long weeds and wild flowers. No man daring to say a word, no man having words to say. They were all worried about their friend, but it was no secret Arthur was more worried than anyone. The relationship he has with the manservant goes far beyond friends. The two were best friends, inseparable. If you found one, the other would most likely be somewhere behind them. Despite the bickering and playful banter, both boys were aware of their feelings toward the other but were too scared to say something.

The thought of Merlin dying made Arthur's heart clench, his stomach twist. Just the mention of the words 'merlin' and 'dead' in the same sentence made him physically sick, made his head spin. It made him want to curl up into a ball and cry, it made him want to scream, it made him want to throw something or destroy something.

After a few hours of riding, the knights began to get uncomfortable on their horses. Even Arthur was starting to get sore and he could tell the horses needed a break but he refused to stop. If he stopped it would just set them back and make the chance of Merlin dying a lot larger.

Eventually though, the need for a rest became too strong as exhaustion flooded over their bodies. They found somewhere to camp for a few hours before they would set off again. Arthur stopped his horse and gently slid Merlin off, earning a slight groan in response but otherwise nothing. He carefully laid the boy down on the grass and propped his head up on his lap.

Arthur winced as he looked over at the boy. His normally pale skin was now more of a grey complexion with little beads of sweat rolling down his forehead, despite him feeling ice cold. His forehead was hot but the rest of his body was freezing to the touch, it was unlike any of the others had seen before.

***

After a half hour of rest the group set off again. They were only half a day's ride to Merlin's home town and it was still early in the morning. Provided they didn't run into trouble, they would arrive by nightfall.

The ride was incredibly silent, again, no one daring to say a word. They knew their King was deeply affected by his manservant falling Ill and they certainly weren't about to get on his bad side. Arthur wasn't the only one who was terrified though, the entire group were worried about their friend. Merlin had easily become apart of their group, he was a friend to pretty much all of Camelot.

As the sun began to set, Elador could be seen in the near distance. Arthur sighed a breath of relief and urged his horse a little faster, they only had a short distance so Merlin could handle being shaken around for a few minutes.

They slowed their horses down to a trot once they reached their town. A stable boy took their horses while the group ran towards Merlin's mothers hut. They burst through the door, momentarily startling Hunith until she saw Merlin.

She hurriedly took them to Merlin's room where Arthur gently placed the boy down and covered him with the blankets.

"what happened?" She asked as she put her hand to his forehead.

"some beast attacked him" Arthur explained as he ran his hand through his hair.

"and his asthma is making it heaps worse" Hunith nodded as she got up and walked to the kitchen.

The knights watched as she came back with a small vile of liquid. She gestured for Arthur to help her hold him upright while she poured it down his throat. Merlin whimpered slightly but that was it. Arthur gently laid him back down and brushed his hair away from his forehead as one of the knights came back with warm water.

"we need to keep him warm" Hunith said as she pressed the cloth to his head.

***

The group has been at Elador for only a few hours but it was enough for Hunith to know Merlin's condition was drastically worsening and wouldn't improve unless they got to Gaius. Nevertheless, she gave the knights and Arthur a lovely meal and gave them a safe place to sleep while they contemplated their next mood.

"how's he doing?" Arthur asked as he walked into the bedroom. Hunith sat on a chair next to the bed, constantly rubbing warm water all over Merlin's frail body.

"The medicine I gave him earlier has improved his lungs slightly. He is now taking bigger breaths but it's not enough. I think your best option would be to stay here till the morning and head back to Camelot. There’s not a lot I can do here, Gaius has much more medicines and herbs to help" Hunith smiled sadly.

Arthur sighed and walked over to the bedside, sitting on the end of the bed quietly. "be honest, what are his chances?"

"I'm not a physician but I would say on the lesser side. He would have more of a chance if he didn't have asthma" She explained.

Arthur's breath hitched in his throat as tears welled up in his eyes. He tried desperately to blink them away, not wanting to cry in front of Huntith. He was the king of Camelot for gods sake. That didn't stop a few warm salty tears from sliding down his cheeks before he wiped them off.

"it's my fault" he whispered under his breath.

"no it's not honey, you couldn't have known some creature would attack you" Hunith assured him.

"Merlin told me we were taking a big risk straying this far away from Camelot but I didn't listen, I was too concerned about killing stupid animals. Even the other knights told me it wasn't a good idea but I didn't listen"

"why did he have to push me out of the way? Why couldn't he just follow orders and stay back?"

"Arthur, Merlin is a very loyal boy, he always has been. He cares about you more than you know, he cares about the knights too. You guys are friends to him, not just people he works for. He would do anything he has to do to make sure you live, that's his job" Hunith assured him.

Arthur nodded, still blaming himself but he knew better to argue with Merlin's mother.

"is there anything I can do?"

"If you could keep him warm while I go make him some broth that would be great. He needs to keep eating, it will help make him strong enough to fight the illness" Hunith smiled as she handed Arthur the towel before walking past him, shutting the door behind her.

Arthur quietly sat down on the chair beside the bed and began wiping warm water all over Merlin's body, paying extra attention to his back and chest.

"merlin" he whispered as he leant down near the boy's ear.

"mm" was all Merlin replied with.

"Can you hear me?" Arthur asked as he clutched Merlins hand. His heart instantly sped up when he felt a faint squeeze against his warm hand.

"I'm so sorry"

Merlin was so tired, so weak. His entire body was freezing yet he felt so hot. He only had just enough strength to flutter his eyes open and smile slightly at Arthur.

"it's not your fault" he breathed out, taking short gasps of air as he did so.

"it is, you told me we should go back but I didn't listen" Arthur croaked.

Merlin barely had enough strength to bring his hand up to the side of Arthur's face and wipe the tears with his thumb before his hand slumped back down to his side. His breathing became worse with every breath he took, yet he still managed to stay awake a little longer before he slipped into another world of unconsciousness.

***

As the sun rose over the hills sending beams through the window of the hut, the knights started to get ready to leave while Arthur began getting Merlin ready. After he had passed out again the previous night he got a lot worse. His breathing was more rigid and wheezy, his skin became even more of a grey colour if that was possible.

"come on Merlin" Arthur mumbled to himself as he gently hauled the still freezing cold boy into his arms. He wrapped his thin frame into his cape again before gently resting his head onto his shoulder and walking out to the others.

Hunith gave them another bottle of medicine if his Asthma gets worse and bid them goodbye. And once again, the group set off for Camelot. They were now only a day and a half's ride away but Merlin's condition was worsening by the hours it seemed and everyone was beginning to lose hope.

The group rode in silence through the trees, no one daring to say a word. The knights were trying to stay positive and keep their usual banter up. Gwaine was telling his usual tavern stories, an attempt to make the knights laugh, despite the situation. Meanwhile, Arthur was off in his own little world. All he could think about was the freezing cold body slumped against his, sending a chill down his spine just by contact.

Arthur had millions and millions of thoughts and feelings running through his head, all negative. He was angry at himself for making the group stray further away, he was angry at Merlin for pushing him out of the way of the creature yet again, he was mad at himself for not telling Merlin his feelings while he had the chance. Honestly he was just angry and god help the poor servant who has to put up with him when they get back.

Suddenly, or not so suddenly, Merlin's breathing became wheezy and he once again began taking sharp, quick breaths. Arthur stopped his horse abruptly and fished around in his pocket for the vile of medicine Huntih had gave them. He gently lifted Merlin's chin upwards and slid the liquid down his throat, gently rubbing his throat to help him swallow. After a few minutes his breathing slowed down enough to make Arthur's heart stop racing.

***

Relief washed over the men when Camelot could be seen from a near distance. Instantly Arthur urged his horse faster until they were galloping towards the gates. Arthur clutched onto Merlin tighter, keeping one hand on his head while the other the reins while also keeping Merlin steady.

They galloped through the gates, only slowing down when they got to the stables. Arthur slid of his horse, taking Merlin with him and sprinting as fast as he could to Gaius' chambers with the knights following suit.

As soon as he burst through the doors, Gaius shot up from his seat and immediately cleared of the patient Cot.

"what happened?" he asked as he began stripping off Merlin's jacket and tunic to inspect the wounds on his back.

"some creature attacked us-" Arthur started.

"and he pushed you out of the way" Gaius nodded in understanding and walked over to his shelves of potions.

"I need someone to go fetch me some warm water" Gaius said as he began looking through his books.

Arthur obviously volunteered to go. The knights followed him but eventually went off to do their own duties.

***

When Arthur came back with more warm water, Merlin's condition had somehow gotten worse. He was now shaking violently, his lips and nose becoming a bruised blue colour.

"god, he's getting worse" Arthur muttered under his breath as he continued dipping the cloth in the water and rubbing it all over Merlin's shivering frame.

"I know. I fear he does not have long left" Gaius sighed from behind him as he continued to flip through magic books, though Arthur was too distracted to live.

Warm tears began sliding their way down the King's cheeks as the realisation hit him. Merlin was dying, the love of his life was dying and there was no buts about it.

"there has to be something you can do, Gaius I can't lose him" Arthur broke down in sobs. At this point he didn't care about anyone else seeing him cry, he simply did not give a fuck.

Gaius sighed and ran a hand through his long, grey hair before standing up and walking to the Kings side.

"I know my boy, but i've looked through pretty much all of the books I have and none of them have an explanation on his illness. His entire body is freezing except for his forehead, which I've never seen before in my life"

"So basically he's dying and theres nothing we can do?" Arthur breathed out, his voice cracking as he did so.

"Sire I know this may be an overstep but I would consider telling him your feelings towards him while he's strong enough to be able to hear you" Gaius smiled sadly.

"what? h-how did you know?" Arthur looked up at the older man.

"I know things my boy. I see the way you look at him, I know how much you enjoy having him around. I also happen to know he returns those very feelings" Gaius explained. "he would kill me if he found out I told you that but at this point-"

"okay, I will" Arthur sniffled as he looked back down at his best friend.

Gaius placed a comforting hand on the King's shoulder before walking out of the room, closing the door quietly behind him.

"merlin" Arthur breathed out as he stopped patting his friend down with the towel and grasped his hand.

"um, I don't know if you can hear me or not, if you can then I guess you just heard what Gaius said but nevertheless it needs to come from me" Arthur started. He took a deep, shaky breath before he continued.

"I love you, Merlin. Like a lot, like more than I've ever loved anyone. You have no idea how happy you make me, with that stupid laugh and that amazing smile. I know I make fun of you a lot but it's just a cover, it always has been. Ive been in love with you since I first met you when you called me a prat. I was so mad that someone could show me so much disrespect but then I realised how refreshing it felt to be treated like a normal person not Royalty. You've been by my side since the start and I will be forever grateful. God this sounds like a goodbye, but it's not. I refuse to let you die, I absolutely refuse. You WILL fight this because you are merlin god damn it, you can do anything"

Arthur couldn't hold it back anymore. All of the pent up frustration, sadness, anxiety, anger, love all came pouring out of him in the form of wracking sobs. He clutched Merlin's hand to his chest and leant over him, nuzzling his head right beside his so their cheeks were touching and just cried.

***

The next day was filled with visitors coming and going. Gwen and the knights came and bid their goodbyes as they fear Merlin wont make it another night and couldn't fathom not being able to say goodbye to their friend.

Merlin woke briefly while Gwen visited only to start violently coughing before slipping into another realm of unconsciousness.

Arthur continued to wipe Merlin's body over with warm water as he talked to him. Gaius said at this stage of the illness it was highly unlikely Merlin could hear anyone anymore, nevertheless Arthur continued. If he was honest it was helping with his heart ache to be able to say everything he's wanted to say for the past few years, even if no one but Gaius could hear him.

Gaius continued to flip through book after book, desperately trying to find out what this damned illness was so they knew how to fix it. By now, the old physician had gone through all of his books at least twice with no result.

Both men were extremely sleep deprived and their stomachs were begging them for food but neither had any intentions of leaving the room, fearing Merlin would pass away while they were gone. So, both of them continued on in their state, Arthur falling asleep momentarily every now then again but being woken up by a sudden thump in his chest telling him Merlin was gone.

"Arthur" Gaius' soft voice sounded from behind him, momentarily startling him.

"you need sleep, you haven't slept in three days"

Arthur frantically shook his head. "no, I'm not leaving him. What if he- no, I'm not going anywhere"

"please my boy, theres not a lot we can do anymore. I've looked through the same hundreds of books at least twice with no result, it's clear trying to keep him warm is failing. Please, I promise I will tell you if anything happens"

Arthur looked back at his manservant for a quick second before sighing and standing up. He didn't want to leave Merlin on his deathbed but the truth is he couldn't bare to sit by his side, simply dabbing warm water over him with no result. He felt absolutely useless and he was exhausted.

He walked down the halls of Camelot, running a hand along the walls as he did so. As soon as he got to his chambers he slid down the door, pulled his knees up to his chest and sobbed. He didn't care that passers by could probably hear, he didn't care about anything anymore, all he cared about was Merlin.

***

Arthur must have cried himself to sleep because he woke up on the hard floors. He immediately shot up, rubbing his lower back and neck as he did so and ran to the Physician chambers.

He ran as fast as he could, dodging seemingly millions of people as he did so. His heart sped up when he saw Gwen leaving the chambers, a shaky hand over her mouth as tears streamed down her face.

"Gwen, what happened?" He asked as he grabbed her shoulders, forcing her to look at her. She was crying so much she didn't even realise someone was in front of her until they shook her shoulders.

"h-hes gone" Was all she said before she ran off.

Arthur's heart dropped to his stomach. He burst through the doors to see Gaius pulling a sheet over Merlin's figure.

"NO" Arthur shouted as he ran over to the bedside, dropping to his knees.

"I'm sorry my boy" Gaius smiled sadly before he walked out of the room.

For a few moments, Arthur was completely frozen. He kneeled at the bedside, clasping his shaky hands as he looked at the outline of his manservant under the sheet.

Arthur skeptically pulled the sheet down just enough to see his face. As soon as he did so however, he regretted it. Merlin's face was completely white. His usually rosy lips now a chapped and a sickly shade of blue. The tip of his nose and his eyelids blue as well as his ears.

"oh god no please let this be a joke" Arthur sobbed as he picked up his best friends body and clutched him as close as he could. "I'm so sorry, I love you so fucking much"

After clutching his best friends freezing cold body to his he gently sat him down and pressed a chaste kiss to his forehead before pulling the sheet back over him. He didn't even realise Gaius had come back until he felt a warm hand on his shoulder.

"Merlin wanted me to give you this incase he ever-" Gaius trailed off with a sigh as he handed the King a piece of paper.

"what are you going to do with his body?" Arthur shuddered at the thought of Merlin being a 'body'.

"I will have him escorted back to Elador immediately"

Arthur nodded and took one last look at the figure under the sheets before he walked out of the room. His legs were so shaky he had to lean against the door for a few seconds so he didn't collapse.

***

Arthur sat down at his desk and just stared at the letter. He didn't want to read it because Merlin only wanted him to read it when he passed and him reading it would mean he really did die and that none of it was a dream or some sick joke.

The king sat at his desk, simply staring at the piece of paper as tears streamed down his face before he decided to read it. He rose his shaky hands from his lap and picked up the paper, wiping the tears to clear his vision before he read it.

Prince prat

If you're reading this then I have passed, which is unfortunate for me.

I have a few things I need to say to you so I'm going to tell you a short story of a young boy born in Elador. His father had left his mother with a child a long time ago as he was on the run. She gave birth to him in a small hut, on the dirt floor which honestly explains a lot and if you couldn't tell by now, I'm talking about me. If you didn't catch on at that then you're stupider than I thought.

Soon his mother realised he was different. His mother would be in her own world, doing her own things when things would fly across the room, dancing in the air of simply shatter. It became apparent to her that her little boy had magic.

I'm a warlock, I was born with magic. You may not know what that is because they're so rare but I am one, I never practised sorcery nor did I chose that path.

My mother became frightened because she knew the people of Elador would also be frightened of me and I could have been killed if anyone found out. She kept a huge secret for me because she loved me, because that's the kind of thing you do for the people you loved.

Once I grew up, my mother sent me to Gaius so he could help me control my magic. As soon as I arrived at Camelot I came face to face to an execution. I still haven't gotten the image of the event out of my head, I haven't gotten his mothers screams out of my head. None of that was your fault though, that was your fathers doing.

Anyway, soon After I arrived I saved your life for the first time, do you remember that? I hope you do because I grazed my elbow sliding across the floor for you.

I used my magic to drop the chandelier, breaking the spell she put on the room. It wasn't enough though as she soon woke up and aimed a knife right at you. I slowed down time and dived towards you, knocking you out of the way. That was the day Uther appointed me your servant and the day my life changed forever.

Soon after I arrived at Camelot, I found myself before the Great Dragon. The one I told you I had slayed, but I simply couldn't, not after it told me my destiny. That destiny was to serve and protect you so you could become the once and future king, which you have now done, and I am so immensely proud of you. Our destiny together is to unite Albion and bring magic back to the land.

Now, years later I have saved your royal arse millions of times. Whenever you told me to hide from bandits or other creatures I was always hiding in the sidelines, using my magic to drop branches or turn arrows into dust.

Sometime around the 50th time I saved you, I realised my true feelings for you. I realised I thought of you as more of a friend, but as someone I loved deeply. I will admit it was hard for me to sit back and watch as you and Gwen courted each other and married but I was simply happy that you were. Even when the engagement was broken, I provided you a shoulder to cry on not as a way to get you to like me, but as a friend. Because that's what friends do, they offer a shoulder to cry on, they care about each other.

I have lived a very happy life, despite being reduced to clean up horse dung- thanks for that by the way. I have saved your life without praise, not because I was to modest to ask for it but because it is my purpose and I was just happy I could do it. You have made me so happy, you have made me so angry, you have made me so sad but all of that contributed to the wonderful life I had here.

Now, I only ask three things of you.

1. Please make sure my mother and Gaius will be okay on their own. Gaius will probably get a new apprentice but nevertheless, I want him to be okay on his own.

2. Please take care of Gwen. She was one of the first people I talked to and instantly she treated me as a friend. I need you to make sure she will be okay as well.

3. Please do not pine over my death for too long. It will make me happy if you fall in love, get married and have children like you are expected too. Obviously you should do what makes you happy but I dont want you to never love again just because I died. I also want you to do whatever you feel is best when it comes to magic, weather you decide to make it legal or not, I trust you'll make the right decision.

This is goodbye, I guess. I will rise once again when you need me the most, wether that be in a few weeks, years or centuries. I will be there for you.

I love you, Arthur.

Merlin.

Arthur sat silently, clasping one hand over his mouth as the other shaky hand held the letter. Merlin had magic and he never told him? did he not trust him? was it something else?.

Arthur would be mad if it was anyone else, but this was Merlin. Merlin could never do harm to the kingdom or its residence, he couldn't even walk properly. He folded the paper and clutched it in his hand as he slumped down onto his bed and cried himself to sleep.

***

The first month was probably the hardest for the King. He had to get used to not being woken up by a blinding light and a sing song voice in the mornings. There was absolutely no way Arthur would ever get a new manservant so he taught himself how to do the things Merlin would always do. Dress himself, get his own food, clean his own chambers.

Arthur didn't really ever leave his chambers nor did he talk to anyone. He would simply do his chores, get what he needed and lock himself in his chambers for weeks on end.

The knights, Gwen and Gaius checked in on him while mourning himself but he didn't want a word of it. He didn't want the sympathy hugs from Gwen, he didn't want the jokes from the knights, he just wanted to be alone.

Some days were better than others. Some days he would go outside and watch the knights train, participate in conversations with them and sometimes even crack a smile. Other days, all he could do is lie in bed and cry.

***

Merlin soon adjusted to his life back in Elador. He hadn't realised how much he missed the farm life until he arrived. He forgot how much he liked helping his mum cook dinner or how much he missed watching the sunset over the hills.

He had never forgotten about Camelot though, how could he? thats where his best friends reside, where his father figure resides, where his soulmate resides. Things were hard for Merlin too but they were no doubt easier for him than they were for Arthur.

It wasn't until two months since his 'death' did his mother bring up the subject of going back to Camelot.

"I don't know, I mean I literally died. will they want me to go back?" Merlin asked as he shoved a forkful of food in his mouth.

"and plus, Gaius probably gave Arthur the letter where I confessed my magic. Whats to say if I return I wont be killed?"

"honey. Arthur would never kill you, he loves you." Hunith smiled as she squeezed Merlin's hands over the table.

***

Today was one of the harder days. Arthur couldn't even be bothered to get out of bed this morning. He felt so weak. His head was pounding from lack of food and water and the fact he had cried all his fluids out so he was extremely dehydrated.

By now, Arthur has probably read the letter over and over thousands of times. He found himself reading it before he went to bed, on the harder days or simply when he needed to see Merlin's handwriting.

Arthur heaved another silent sob as he read over the letter once again, tracing his fingers over every letter. Even after two months, he still couldn't wrap his mind around the fact that Merlin, his most trusted friend, was in fact gone and wouldn't be coming back. He expected him to burst through the doors any minute, he expected to be woken up by that annoyingly adorable sing song voice he always used. None of that happened though, of course.

The king was brought out of his daydream when a loud knock sounded at the door. He sighed to himself and slid further in his bed, pulling the covers over his head as an attempt to shut out the outside world. Apparently though, his attempt failed as another knock sounded at the door. It became clear to Arthur that whoever was at the door was not in a hurry to leave so with another great sigh he pulled the blankets off him, wiped his tears and walked to the door.

He opened the door and almost passed out when he saw his manservant standing in the doorway, looking back at him with glossy eyes. His breath hitched in his throat as he stared, unable to move. He was still unsure if this was a dream or not.

"merlin?" Arthur breathed out.

"yes sire?" Merlin grinned innocently, despite the tears sliding down his cheeks.

Arthur grabbed Merlin's arm, pulling him inside before wrapping him in the tightest hug he could possible muster. His heart fluttered with happiness when he felt small arms wrap around his waist.

"I don't- you died" Arthur croaked as he pulled away, looking into his best friends eyes.

"I know. I will explain everything I promise. But I'm here now" Merlin smiled.

Without any thought, Arthur cupped Merlins cheeks and pressed their lips together. His heart thumped in his chest as Merlin wrapped his arms around his neck as they both melted into the kiss. It was unbelievable, as soon as their lips touched his legs became stronger and his head stopped pounding.

"God, I missed you so much" Arthur mumbled against his lovers lips.

"I missed you too" Merlin smiled.

"you have no idea how upset I was when you died" Arthur spoke again.

"Arthur, just shut up and kiss me" Merlin rolled his eyes.

Arthur giggled, he actually fucking giggle as he picked Merlin up and spun him in the air, giving Merlin a chance to wrap his legs around his waist and deepen the kiss.

A/N: lets not talk about the science of dying then magically being alive, I just love happy endings.

Word count:6509

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