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sergeantsporks · 1 year

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Writing Request: Raeda and Lumity are both on a date at the same place. Somehow Lilith and Hunter got dragged along. The two aroace third wheels bond over mst3k-ing over those two couple's antics.

I! Do not know what that means! But I can guess!

xxx

Raine bumped into Eda as they both reached for a cabinet. “Oh—" They brought their hand down. “Excuse—”

“Uh—sorry—” Eda started at the same time, moving her hand away.

“Oh—you g—”

“After y—”

They both reached for the door again, but this time, Eda pulled away before Raine could. “You. You go first.”

Despite the obvious indication for them to go first, Raine’s hand stalled. “Are you sure?”

“I just need a mug, I’ll survive two seconds.”

Raine opened the cabinet. “Sorry for getting in your way, Eda.”

“Ahaha, not a problem.”

“But you’d tell me if it were, right?”

“Uh, yeah. Of course.”

Raine took down two mugs. “I just want to be sure I’m not a bother.”

“You’re not a bother, Rainestorm.” Eda snorted. “Trust me, if you were bothering me, you’d know.”

“Alright.”

Luz watched the whole interaction from the kitchen table, slowly eating cereal. “You two need to go on a date,” she announced.

Eda laughed, then stopped. “Oh, you’re not kidding. What?”

Luz pointed her spoon at the two of them. “You’re out of sync. You don’t know what you share in common now that we’re not at war anymore. You need a date to reconnect, and reestablish who you are, and what you like, and what each other’s boundaries are!”

Eda gave her a pained grin, putting an arm around Luz’s shoulder. “Hehehe… Luz, can I talk to you for a second?”

She whisked Luz outside, keeping her head low so that she and Luz were face to face. “I can’t go on a date with Raine!”

“What? Why not?”

“Because I haven’t been on one in AGES! Not a REAL date, anyway! Not since I… since they broke off our last relationship.”

Luz grabbed her mentor’s shoulders. “That’s exactly why you need to go on one now!”

“It’s just… ahhhhh, I don’t know, what would I even do on a date?”

Luz grinned. “Carnival’s back in town.”

“You mean the one where Tibbles shrank you and put you in a pen of dangerous animals?”

“That’s the one! It’s fine, the odds of that happening again are almost zero. Amity and I are going, why don’t you and Raine come with us? Play some games, win each other some cute, overpriced prizes?”

Eda and Luz glanced back at the house. Raine was leaning against the counter, sipping coffee casually, but their face was blushing red. Eda tugged on her hair, her own face bright as a tomato. “Ooogh. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, why not! I’m the most powerful witch on the boiling isles! I befriended the owl beast curse! I can knock a measly date out of the park!”

“Yeah!” Luz cheered, “And if you need anything, Amity and I will be right there.”

Eda squared her shoulders, marching right back into the house. “Raine Whispers, we are going to the carnival!”

They jumped. “We are?”

“We are.”

Luz hissed in. “Whoof. On second thought, I might need to call in a liiiiiittle more backup.”

Xxx

Hunter jumped as the door to the study room he’d booked in the library slammed open. “Hey!”

“Hunter, I need your help,” Luz announced from the door.

“Shhh,” Amity chided, holding onto Luz’s arm, “Library. You don’t want to get kicked out again, do you?”

“Sorry,” Luz whispered back. “I need your help,” she repeated, more quietly.

Hunter eyed her. “With… what?”

“Amity and I are going on a double date with Eda and Raine, and—”

“Nnnnnnope. Nuh-uh. I’m not tagging along to hold your stuff while you all stare into each other’s eyes.”

“No!!! That’s not what I’m asking!!! I just…” Luz sighed. “Eda and Raine haven’t been on a date in a long time, and I want to make sure it goes smoothly. Do you think you could help me just… make sure things around the area are okay? Maybe rig a few things in our favor?”

Hunter set his pen down, leaning back in his seat. “Where are you going?”

“The carnival.”

Hunter hissed in. “There are a lot of factors, there. Scammers. Large crowds. The weather. The tendency of the roller coasters to fling their occupants out into the sky. I can’t control everything.”

“Don’t worry! I’ve enlisted help,” Luz promised.

“Help? Who? Gus is at the looking glass graveyard today… Willow’s at a seminar on the combative ability of plant magic… and I’m assuming you and Amity are going to be enjoying the carnival as well. King?”

“No, King hates the carnival. Bad memories. C’mon outside, she’s waiting for us.”

She?

Hunter gathered up his supplies and stuffed them into his bag, running out after Luz and Amity. He stopped dead when he saw a familiar poof of black hair. “Oh, no.”

Lilith looked up from her Penstagram scroll (tuned onto one Flora Desplora account), and her face twisted like she’d smelled something rotten. “He’s coming with us?”

“I promised I wouldn’t make you do this alone,” Luz told her, “You and Hunter are going to work together!”

“No, we’re not,” Hunter and Lilith said at the same time.

Lilith shook her head. “I was willing to help you out with Edalyn because I’m getting a liiiiiitle irritated at the pining-across-the-table that goes on during reconstruction meetings. But the golden br—guard and I don’t work well together.”

“It’s Hunter,” he snapped, “And I’m out.”

He turned back towards the library, and Luz ran up next to him. “Hey—Hunter. Hunter. C’mon, don’t… please?”

“It’s not going to work, Luz. Even if I wanted to work with her, she wouldn’t want to work with me. We’ve always been a bad mix.”

“That was back in the coven, Hunter! Things are different now, both of you are different! Lilith’s way more bark than bite, anyway. Please? Try?”

You’ve changed

Maybe she has, too?

Hunter sighed. “Fine. I’m on it. Nothing will go badly. Promise.”

“Ha! Thank you!” Luz tugged him back down the stairs towards Lilith. “Both of you.”

“I’m going to need more elixirs,” Lilith grumbled.

She and Hunter followed Luz and Amity at a distance, and with at least two feet of space between the two of them. Luz and Amity met Raine and Eda at the gates of the carnival, and the moment they were inside of the grounds, Hunter began to scan the area for threats.

Scam stand.

Future toothache.

Fire hazard.

Scam stand.

Oh!

Hunter traced a plant glyph on the ground, and other carnival goers yelped and jumped to the side as vines sprang out of the ground. One of Lilith’s eyebrows quirked upwards when Hunter lit the vines on fire.

“What, may I ask, are you up to?”

Hunter pointed at a bird, heading on a direct course to intersect with the happy couples.

The glyph fire was big and hot, fueled by the plants, and the heat rising from it created a pull in the air, wind whipping through Hunter’s hair.

The bird drifted ever-so-slightly through the air, lazily soaring off of its original course.

“Birds have a tendency to take a dump,” he explained, “Kept it away from Raine and Eda.”

“I don’t think that’s quite what Luz had in mind when she asked us to make sure there were no problems.”

“I’m taking this very seriously. Why aren’t you?” Hunter surveyed the games. “Those are rigged.”

“Yes, they are. It’s how the carnival makes money.”

“You know Eda and Raine better than I do. Which games would they be most likely to pick?”

Lilith surveyed the games. “Eda will pick ones that show off her strength. The hammer hit. One of the ones where you throw a ball at a target. Raine prefers the shows, as long as they don’t have to participate in them. But if we want them to have a classic ‘romantic’ time to rekindle old feelings, I’d suggest we steer them closer to the roller coasters. They were drawn back together by dangerous times fighting a dangerous enemy. Recreating a sense of danger in a controlled environment and causing an adrenaline rush will push them together.”

Hunter eyed the steep roller coaster. “You don’t think maybe they’re a little… old… for a roller coaster? It might blow out their backs or give them heart failure.”

Lilith spluttered, and too late, Hunter remembered that she was older than Eda. “They are not too old for roller coasters,” Lilith spit out, “Eda regularly does barrel rolls as a giant feathery harpy. Do you really think a roller coaster is too rough for her?”

“In that case, don’t you think after everything, maybe a roller coaster is a little bit boring? Let’s just do the games.”

“You know, I’m not sure this is exactly what Luz had in mind when she asked us to make sure nothing went wrong. I’m almost certain she meant to just make sure they didn’t get their pockets picked, or get attacked by one of their enemies, not set up the best day ever.”

Hunter waved a hand. “Between the two of us, I’m sure we can engineer the perfect date. Then Luz will never ask us to do this ever again, because Eda and Raine will be set.

One of Lilith’s eyebrows quirked upwards. “Because you’ve been on so many perfect dates, golden guard?”

“I told you, it’s Hunter. And I don’t exactly remember your love life being the talk of the coven either, Lilith!”

“Pshhhh. I could get any witch I wanted to. I can name at least three off the top of my head who’d jump at a chance for a date.”

Hunter crossed his arms. “Oh, yeah? Prove it.”

“Do you think I want someone slobbering on my face? No thank you. We have a job to do, anyway. Let’s just rig those games already.”

She marched towards a game where the objective was to throw a ball at a circling belt of silhouette creatures and knock them over for points. Hunter remembered patrolling the carnival grounds a few years ago, and the game had been outfitted with cartoonishly sinister wild witches that the player would aim for. They’d been replaced by cutouts of coven scouts, and Hunter winced.

Lilith slammed her hand down on the stall counter. “Hey,” she snapped, “I’ve gotten reports of problems with this game. Management sent me and the mechanic to check it out.” She jerked her head back to indicate Hunter. “Everything alright?”

The witch running the stand shrugged. “Probably just some sore loser kids complained to their parents, and they got bent out of shape. Game’s working as it’s supposed to, if you know what I mean.”

“Ah, parents. I’m sure you’re right. We’ll just take a look anyway, check off all the boxes, alright? Everyone does their jobs, everyone gets paid.”

Hunter slipped around the edge of the stall, snagging a rack of emergency tools. The hinge mechanism that would let the cutouts fall backwards was tight and stiff, and no matter how hard he pushed on a scout cutout, it held firm. Hunter pulled out a screwdriver and loosened the hinges just a bit, enough that a decent push would knock the cutout over. After he loosened all of them a bit, he popped up and gave Lilith a thumbs-up.

“Looks good! Game should run perfectly.”

Lilith glanced over at the roaming carnivalgoers and gave the stall owner a tight grin. “Okay, off we go, other games and rides to check and such, goodbye!”

She grabbed Hunter’s arm and all but yanked him over the counter, hustling him away. Hunter shook off her hand.

“Hey, you don’t get to drag me around! What’s wrong?”

“They’re coming this way. I told you Eda wouldn’t be able to resist the games. She wants to win prizes, impress her partner. Look.”

Lilith ducked behind a stall, and Hunter followed, peering around the corner. Eda wiggled her eyebrows at Raine as she whipped a ball towards the coven scout cutouts.

“Oh, I much prefer this version of the game,” she laughed. The cutouts went down one after another. “Man, they’re just as easy to take down as the real life versions, ha!”

Raine laughed with her.

“Blech,” Lilith and Hunter said in unison.

“It wasn’t even funny,” Hunter complained.

Lilith shook her head. “Their judgement is impaired around her.”

Hunter nodded in agreement. “Speaking of judgement impaired around each other, we should rendezvous with Luz and Amity.”

“About what?” Luz’s voice asked behind them, “Also, hey!”

Hunter jumped. “Don’t do that! What are you doing here?!”

“It’s a double date. We’re staying near Raine and Eda. How’s it going?”

“We’ve got this. I promise.” Hunter glanced at Lilith, then back towards Luz. “Do you think… maybe you could steer them towards the roller coasters?”

“Hm, yeah. Which one?”

“The more dangerous it looks, the better,” Lilith cut in.

“Ahhhh, okay.” Luz took Amity’s hand. “You want to do some rides?”

“There doesn’t happen to be a tunnel of love ride, does there?”

“Awwwww,” Lilith said dryly, “Aren’t you two precious.” She blinked at Amity’s irritated glance. “Oh, that wasn’t sarcastic, you really are quite adorable. Anyway. We’ll keep handling things from the ground, just get them on those rides.”

Amity and Luz nodded, moving towards Eda and Raine. The two couples made their way towards the coasters, Eda showing off the prize she’d one, a large selkidomus plushie that she pushed into Raine’s arms with a magnanimous bow.

Lilith nudged Hunter. “I see you were listening to my advice after all, hm?”

“And you’re sure about the rides? We can’t control the circumstances once they’re up there, it’s anyone’s guess what will happen.”

Lilith gave him an odd look. “Gol—Hunter. I think you’re taking this a little bit too seriously. Take it from Luz’s coolest aunt—”

Hunter held back a snort.

“—you need to learn to let go juuuuuuust a little bit.”

“I know, I just…” Hunter paced back and forth. “I don’t want to fail her.”

“Who? Eda? I don’t think she’ll—”

“No, Luz! She’s counting on me, she’s trusting me, and—”

“And you don’t want to let her down, I understand. Truly, Hunter, I do. Probably better than anyone else does. You’ve been given a second chance and… you don’t want to waste it.” Lilith fidgeted with her glasses. “You just… need to be careful that you’re not simply replacing Belos.”

“What?! I wouldn’t—I don’t replace people, I don’t—”

Lilith raised one eyebrow, and Hunter sighed. “Alright. Finish your speech.”

“Thank you.” Lilith twiddled her thumbs. “I don’t necessarily mean… replacing Belos, not… I just mean that it’s… easy. To slip back into old habits. And you don’t even realize it’s happening because… this time it’s for the right reasons, right? This time, the people you’re following are good, they care about you. They’re actually worth devoting your life to.” Lilith sighed. “But it doesn’t mean that you should worship them the way you did him.”

“Wow. Hear that one from your therapist?”

“Yes, actually. They’ve been wonderful, and excellent at handling the horrors of the emperor’s coven. I highly recommend them, if you’re interested. The point is, Hunter, while of course we want to help Luz, and we don’t want to intentionally fail her, this also isn’t the most life or death scenario in the world, and part of… healing, I suppose… from the coven, is learning what situations call for how much seriousness and control.” Lilith rolled a hand. “She did the hard work of setting this up, and is steering Raine and Eda along, we’re just… backup. Here to make sure that nothing—”

A boom echoed across the carnival, and Lilith was framed by plumes of fire rising up from the rides area. A whoosh of wind swept over them, pushing Lilith’s hair forward. Screams followed, and Lilith’s eye twitched.

“…explodes,” she finished, “Edalyn.” She took a deep breath and gulped down an elixir, brushing a stray feather out of her hair. “Alright. Let’s go.”

“This! Is why! I wanted! To control! The variables!” Hunter yelled as they ran towards the rides, pushing through panicked patrons.

“Normally, I’d agree with that sentiment! But my therapist told me I should try to…” Lilith’s lip curled, and she made air quotes. “‘Re-lax.’”

“Time to ditch the therapist, then?”

“No! I just picked the wrong time to do so! It appears!”

The Wheel Of Torment had tilted off of its axis in a screech of metal. Hunter could spot Luz, lowering people down with vines, into the waiting arms of abominations directed by Amity.

“Oh, good. They’re okay.”

“Hm.” Lilith pointed upwards. “Not for long.”

A flock of Pegasus were flapping towards the carnival, breathing fire.

“Augh,” Hunter groaned, “What is it with the birds today?! Okay, We can handle this, just—”

The wheel screeched again, and more screams tore out.

Lilith pointed to the wheel. “Citizens about to fall to their dooms first. Pegasus second.”

Hunter nodded, and they raced towards Amity. “What’s the situation?!”

“Most broken wheel of all time broke. Surprise!”

“When I said most dangerous, I didn’t mean in an actually will kill you sense!” Lilith yelled. She started drawing glyphs all over the ground, ice pillars and vines rising up to stabilize the wheel.

Hunter jumped onto an ice pillar as it went up, taking him to the carriages. “Come on, I’ve got you.” He drew a plant glyph, securing the vine to the riders’ waists and lowering them down to the ground. Clamber up the wheel. Lower people down. Repeat. At least Lilith had managed to prop the wheel up, and it wasn’t tilting around.

At least until the pegasus hit. They started to attack the supports, breathing fire that melted and burned at Lilith’s magic.

“No, no, n—”

“OUT OF THE WAY!” Eda’s voice called, and she soared through the air in her harpy form, crowing. Raine sat atop her back, sending out beams of light from their viola that sent pegasus flying left and right. Hunter scrambled along the wheel to Luz. “Everyone’s off, we need to—”

The wheel tilted, and Hunter caught Luz’s wrist as she nearly lost her balance.

“Whoa! Okay, we need to get off. If we tie ourselves together, we can create a pulley system that—”

Luz grinned. “Nah, that’ll take too long. I got a better plan.”

“Huh?”

“Hey!” Luz yelled to Amity, “Sweet potato! Catch!”

She grabbed Hunter’s hand and took a flying leap off of the wheel, yanking him off of the wheel. “WHOO!”

“AUGH, NO, NO, NO—”

The ground rose up towards them, but so did an abomination, safely softening their impact and gently lowering them to the ground. Hunter gripped Luz’s hand tightly, panting.

“I—will—kill—you.”

Amity rushed towards them, taking Luz’s face in her hands. “Luz! That was incredibly dangerous, are you trying to get killed?!”

“Aw, I knew you’d catch me. Besides, uh…” Luz pointed upwards as the wheel screeched and groaned, starting to slid out of the weakened supports. “We were about to fall off anyway.” She extracted her hand from Hunter’s, and patted his shoulder. “Don’t worry about it, I had a softfall glyph ready just in case, we were always going to be fine.”

“Ooooough, I’ve got it, I’ve got it, I’vegotit!” Lilith called, drawing more glyphs and pushing up the wheel before it could fall on them. “I’ve got it. There we are. It’s fine. It’s aaaall fine. I didn’t study architecture just to not be able to properly support a falling wheel of death.”

“Wheel of Torment,” a carnie offered weakly.

“No one asked you.”

Hunter shuffled on his feet, rubbing his arm. “I’m sorry. I was supposed to be your backup. I shouldn’t have let this happen.”

Luz blinked. “Wai—what?! Hunter, literally no one could have predicted this! Except maybe whoever cleared that wheel for rides! And even they couldn’t have predicted the Pegasus attack!” She laughed. “I guess I should have known that a demon realm date had a chance of turning into a high stakes adventure.”

“Yeah, but… Eda and Raine…”

Hunter heard a sigh from Lilith. “No, it worked. Not quite the adrenaline stimulating scenario I had in mind, but I should have known. Look.”

Hunter craned his neck up to see Eda and Raine sharing a midair kiss. “Oh. There they go.”

They broke apart, laughing and complimenting each other on their Pegasus-slaying skills.

Amity took Luz’s hand. “We made a pretty good team back there.”

Luz gave her a kiss on the cheek. “Yeah, we might have a career in ‘saving people from falling carnival rides.’”

Amity laughed. “With the way this carnival tends to go, that might be more necessary than you think.”

Hunter made a face, and turned towards Lilith. “Mission accomplished?”

“Mission accomplished.” She put a hand to her chest, standing up straight. “We made a pretty good team as well, if I do say so myself.” Her nose crinkled. “I’m not kissing you, though.”

Hunter jabbed a thumb towards the remaining roller coasters. “You want to ditch the happy couples and check the safety regulations on the rest of those rides to make sure nothing else is substandard?”

Her eyes lit up, and she produced several screwdrivers from her hair, holding them between her fingers like claws. “Oh, more than anything.”

#toh #the owl house #toh fanfiction #lumity #raeda #toh hunter #luz noceda #eda clawthorne #lilith clawthorne #my writing #writing requests #asks #aroace hunter #aroace lilith

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