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ariadnes-red-thread · 1 year

Text

Heartbeat

Summary: You wake up to find that you’re trapped in a cave with Fives. As oxygen dwindles and every breath you take is a countdown to death, you’re forced to confront your feelings for the ARC Trooper.

Pairing: Fives x AFAB!Reader

Warnings/Tags: 18+ *MINORS DNI*, Smut, PiV sex, Oral (female receiving), Brief descriptions of blood and wound care, Near Death Situation, Angst, Hurt/Comfort/Fluff, Porn with way too much Plot, Happy Ending

Word Count: 8.5k (don’t look at me)

A/N: NGL, this one got away from me. Also, maybe someday I’ll write something that isn’t “Idiots in Love” Trope. Today is not that day.

Ao3

It was the worst headache of your life. Everything throbbed. The pain radiated from your right temple and washed over your head, your neck, and then down your spine in sharp, ceaseless waves. The tension pulled your brow together, but any furrowing sent a new stabbing sensation straight to your forehead. The only comfort came from the surface below. Whatever you were lying on, the texture was worn, and the surface was stiff, but a damp coolness saturated the fabric, soothing your aching head.

Where am I? You wondered, the thought forming in between the blooms of pain.

You blinked. The world was blurred as you tried to peek out from under heavy eyelids. The only light was faint, barely illuminating the shadows surrounding you. Awareness slowly returned to your limbs, and you realized you were lying on your side. You stretched out an arm and pushed yourself up. A groan left your lips at the effort.

“Oh, thank the little gods,” You heard a voice you couldn’t place. “You’re awake.”

You tried to turn to the person, but the movement and the change of position were too much. The world started to sway, and you began to plummet back downwards again.

“Whoa, whoa.” Large arms wrapped around you, halting your fall.

Whoever caught you pulled you into them, steadying you against their body, but any softness of their form was interrupted by a stiff, immovable chest. A puzzle piece to this mystery. Plastoid. You blinked. Armor. You blinked again. The haze started to leave your vision, but that didn’t make what you saw any clearer.

“Fives?”

The Arc Trooper grinned down at you, his trademark sideways smile still just as bright in the dim light.

“Hey, mesh’la.”

The clouds of your lightheadedness parted. Fives was kneeling next to you, supporting your weight against his chest plate as he held you up. You moved to right yourself again, crawling onto your knees and sitting back on your heels. He let you shift away from him, though his arms cautiously followed you as you straightened yourself, in case you swayed again.

Details slowly came into focus. Rock surrounded you on all sides. The edges and deep crevasses that ran up the jagged walls created long shadows that danced along the red stone in the soft glow. The light was thrown on them by a bright orb in the middle of this cavern. Through the shine, you recognized it as one of the ARC-standard lanterns. While the illumination didn’t offer much, it was enough to show that the open space you found yourself in wasn’t large, probably no bigger than an escape pod. The floor was dirt, and underneath you lay a blanket. It was one of the GAR-issued ones that the clones carried in their packs. My pack. Your instincts as a medic made your heart jump, and you instinctively patted the ground around you, looking for your gear before you spotted it. Leaning against the opposite corner of the cave was your medic pack and all of Fives’ kit. It had all been rifled through, with supplies out everywhere. You turned back to Fives, who was watching you carefully. He stayed on his knees next to you, still within arm’s reach.

“What’s…” Whatever question was on your lips was cut off and erased by another stabbing pain.

You let out a small groan, and your hand shot to your forehead. You could feel a bacta patch on your temple. Underneath it, broken skin throbbed. You glanced down at your jumpsuit to find it covered in blood.

“Look at me.” Fives quickly spoke, pulling your eyes back to his face. “You got hit in the head. You were a real mess. I’m not you or Kix, but I tried to clean you up as best I could.”

He made you track his fingers and asked you the questions you had asked him a million times before. For how talented a soldier he was, Fives had more head injuries than the rest of the GAR combined. You could always count on finding him in your medbay after every mission for one reason or another. He tried to assess your vision but flashed fingers before you faster than you could count them.

“That’s not how you do that.” You giggled as you rolled your eyes. “Nice try, Doctor Fives.”

“Sarcasm intact, I see.” Fives chuckled, but the laugh didn’t meet his eyes.

He raised his hand to your chin and slowly tilted it so he could inspect your wound. He lifted his other hand to graze over your temple, pressing down on the bacta patch that he must have gotten from your pack and placed on your wound earlier.

“Wasn’t deep, luckily.” He said, his voice soft now. “Just bled a ton. You scared me, mesh’la.”

He was close. So close. And the look on his face made you wonder.

“A big ole ARC Trooper was scared for me?” You teased, desperate for anything to break the tension.

His eyes met yours before he flicked them back to the bandaged wound. Oh, you swallowed before you quickly reprimanded yourself. You had to do that often with Fives. You had been with the 501st since the beginning of the war, and you loved every one of the men you served with. They loved you too. When you weren’t chasing the brave -if slightly reckless - soldiers into battle, they were often pulling you into their own shenanigans, like nights out at 79’s or games of sabacc in the barracks or pranks that made Rex assign you all to fresher duty for a week. It was different with Fives, though.

He had no idea, of course. He didn’t know how his banter, more playful and flirty than his brothers, or that little nickname, mesh’la, affected you. He didn’t know that, through no fault of his, you had been swept off your feet by the handsome man since the moment you met him. He’d never led you on or made you think your feelings were reciprocated. He’d been nothing but respectful and kind. Still, you couldn’t shake your feelings for the ARC Trooper. You loved the way he butted heads with you. You loved how he teased the people he cared about, including you. You loved the way he looked after his brothers. You loved his ingenuity on the battlefield. Despite your best efforts, you loved Fives. You pushed your feelings aside as best you could, trying to only let them creep up on you during dark moments alone. There was no point in dwelling on it. Fives would never feel that way about you. Still, this sudden doting made your stomach twist.

Don’t read into it. You scolded yourself. He’s just worried about you. With his gaze back on your forehead, you tried to turn your attention elsewhere. You searched for the last thing you remembered.

You were on Geonosis. That much you knew. Even in the dark, the sandstone of the walls around you was apparent. Geonosis. You strained and tugged on strings as you tried to remember why you were in Geonosis or, more importantly, where on Geonosis you were.

“What’s going on, Fives?”

The ARC trooper sat back, finally confident you wouldn’t fall again, and leaned against the wall. He pulled one knee up, resting his arm on it. The other leg extended out next to you.

“What do you remember?”

He nodded as you pieced together details for him, filling in the blanks where he could. The more you tugged on those threads, the more you could weave together. Geonosis. You remembered trekking across the desert with a small squad. You remembered an ambush. A group of bugs had sprung out of the dunes. It had happened so suddenly. There had been a lot of blaster fire and explosions. As soon as the fighting started, Fives grabbed your arm, pulling you to shelter behind him. You remembered darkness engulfing the landscape and Fives cursing as his brothers disappeared from view. A sandstorm was sweeping in; brutal winds whipped up the desert as it approached. Fives took hold of your arm again, leading you to the foot of the nearby mesa. The last thing you could remember was pointing to a small cave, thinking it could offer shelter to wait out the deadly weather. Fives, barely visible even a foot in front of you as the storm finally descended, led the way. Then, nothing. There was no more thread to pull at. Trying to piece together the last of the story, you turned to look towards what you vaguely recalled to be the entrance. It was covered in broken, serrated rocks. You frowned. That couldn’t be good.

“Cave collapsed.” Fives finally admitted as you finished. “Must have been unstable, and the winds from the storm made it worse. I tried to dig out, but it just kept collapsing. Without tools, it’ll bring the whole thing down on us. And you’ve had enough head injuries for one day.”

“And you for one lifetime.” You reminded Fives. “So we’re stuck here, huh?”

He nodded, watching you as you moved to cross your legs and settle into a seated position. You noticed his careful look but kept your attention on the predicament.

“Any other exit?” You glanced around, the tall walls suddenly hugging you a little tighter.

If there were any, the cave held its secrets well. The only light came from the lamp, and the air felt heavy. Unmoving.

“No,” Fives’ face was grim when you turned back to him. “I looked after I got you cleaned up. My helmet was damaged during the cave-in, but the radar still works, and there’s nothing.”

He dropped his gaze to his boots. Fives was a lot of things, but a good liar wasn’t one of them. There was something he wasn’t telling you.

“What else?”

Fives let out a little huff. He knew lying wasn’t his strength either. After a moment, he spoke again.

“Indicators on my bucket show the oxygen supply of this little pocket isn’t… uh, well, it’s not gonna last forever.” He raised a hand, rubbing his gloved palm against the back of his neck, still not looking at you.

You frowned at Fives. You didn’t like how vague he was being. Many people mistook Fives’ carefree demeanor for carelessness, but you knew otherwise. Fives was nothing if not thorough in his recon, and that meant he was still hiding something.

“How long?” You asked, your tone still the same one you would use in the medbay. Scientific and determined.

“We have four more hours of oxygen.”

You nodded. That would explain the heaviness of the air.

“Is anyone coming?”

“Yes, Rex is on… on his way.” He coughed as he spoke.

You watched as his jaw twitched from the tension and his gaze shifted further from yours. You glanced at his helmet. It sat among the scattered gear, the antenna snapped off and lying beside it on the ground. You considered your own communicator for a moment but knew its range would never make it through these stone walls. You looked back at Fives.

“Don’t lie to me.” If you could have registered anything at that moment, you would have been surprised at how suddenly quiet your voice was.

Fives flicked his eyes back to finally meet yours. He stared, his honey-brown irises flickering gold in the dim light.

“No,” He finally answered, like a sentencing. “Comms are down. No one is coming.”

You nodded. Your gaze fell to your palms. This was it. Trapped with no way out. You had always known you could die during this war. You had assumed it would be on the battlefield. The thought that it wouldn’t be twisted in your gut. A rage began to boil. You didn’t want to die here, suffocating. You wanted to go down fighting. You looked back at Fives, ready to protest against your fate. Then you saw his face. He met you with a look of understanding that stopped any objection on your lips.

“It’s okay.” He shrugged. “I’m mad too. I’m a soldier. I’m supposed to die on my feet, not in some cave.”

With that, the rage disappeared.

“I’m sorry, Fives.”

“Me too.” He gave you a half-smile. “Honestly, part of me hoped you wouldn’t wake up. Then you wouldn’t have known. You wouldn’t have to wait.”

You tried to return his half-smile, but your heart panged at the thought of Fives having to wait for death alone. You crawled to sit against the wall next to him. Pressing your back against the stone wall, you rested your head on his pauldron.

“Well, I’m glad I’m awake.” You finally spoke. You were surprised to find that you meant it. “What now?”

“Just wait, I guess.”

You didn’t have to look at Fives to see the defeat that had swept over him. It was clear in his voice, the emptiness of his tone ringing like a gong. You frowned. If you were going to be awake, you had to do something. Your eyes fell onto the gear scattered at the foot of the opposite wall.

“I have a sabacc deck.” You tilted your head up at the ARC trooper.

“You’re on.” Fives snorted as he grinned down at you, the smile finally meeting his eyes.

Time crept on at a cruel pace. Too fast and too slow at the same time. The two of you had an unspoken agreement not to look at the indicators on Fives’ helmet. The mood was heavy, but you were grateful to be with Fives. You moved to sit across from him, a perfect little space for sabacc forming between the two of you. Fives discarded his armor, and you had unzipped the top half of your jumpsuit, tying its arms around your waist. Even still, the white tank top clung to you in the stifling heat of the cavern. The temperature aside, it almost could have been another night in the barracks, just the two of you outlasting his brothers as you stayed up too late, laughing and sharing secrets.

“You think the others are okay?” Your thoughts wandered to your friends.

“Echo, Kix, and Rex are too smart to die, Jesse’s too stubborn, and Hardcase is too lucky.” Fives chuckled as he looked over his hand. “Fate’s already given up on killing ‘Case. Despite his best efforts. It’ll be some stupid hero move if he ever goes out.”

You laughed. Thinking that the rest of the squad was safe brought a little comfort, at least. Then you thought of how Fives had protected you during the fight. A hero.

“Like protecting civilian medic during a firefight?” The cards in front of you began to swim, and your eyes quickly found the cave's dirt floor. “You shouldn’t have helped me.”

“Don’t say that.” Fives frowned and tilted his head down so he could meet your gaze. “I would have been looking for shelter during that storm, no matter what. I always would have ended up here.”

Fives looked away, his attention back on the game as he cast the die. You quickly blinked, trying to clear your burning eyes. He swore at the numbers that came up.

“Your turn,” He smiled at you. “And for the record, protecting you… I don’t regret it. Not for a second.”

You sighed. Regrets. You had plenty, and now, the thought that maybe you had led Fives here to this fate was quickly climbing the list. It was more suffocating than the dwindling oxygen. Fives must have been able to see the shadow lingering over you.

“Hey,” He placed his cards to the side and patted the ground between his legs. “Come here.”

You climbed over Fives’ shins and settled yourself against his chest. You stared out into the darkness as Fives wrapped an arm around you, pulling you back into him. It was a little too warm to be comfortable, but you lifted a hand to his forearm and clung to him all the same.

It wasn’t the first time you’d been this close to Fives. All the clones were comfortable with you, hugging you, picking you up, teasing you like a sister. Fives was no different; it always made your crush that much harder. Even now, as death waited around the corner, your heart raced a little faster. You frowned at yourself, willing it to slow. As you tried to focus, you realized that you could feel his heartbeat where his chest pressed to your back. That didn’t help your own heart rate or your focus.

Finally, Fives broke the silence you didn’t realize had settled between you two.

“I wish I could’ve seen the end of it, you know?” His voice was quieter than you’d ever heard it.

“The end of what?” You asked, still staring out into the dark.

“The war. I’d like to give peace a try.” It was his turn to sigh. “I know they wouldn’t just let us go. There’s always another war to fight, but maybe… maybe I could’ve had a life too. Settle down, raise a family. Deploy when they need me but get to come back to a place that was home instead of just a different set of barracks. Maybe I could’ve had a chance to be more than just a number.”

You thought of the heart beating behind you. How alive he was. Fives always had been, and that zeal permeated everything he did. When it came down to it, that was why you fell in love with him. A number’s heart never beat like that.

“You’ve never been just a number.” You whispered, more to the darkness than to Fives. “Not to me.”

You settled further into his chest and closed your eyes. You could still feel the gentle rhythm of his heart between your shoulder blades. The idea that it would come to a stop in a few short hours was too much to bear. You reached for the hand that wasn’t holding you. You needed to feel its warmth. You pulled it into your chest, clasping his hands.

Then you felt his fingers lace through yours. You opened your eyes and looked over your shoulder to find Fives watching you.

Your heart stopped. Time slowed. You knew the gleam in his eyes. You’d always wanted him to look at you like that, like you were the only thing in the world. Right now, you supposed you were.

“Even after everything, you know what my only regret will be?” His breath was hot against your neck.

“What?” Your heart was racing again.

“I never got to kiss you.”

Before you could stop yourself, you let go of his forearm and reached for the collar of his compression top. You pulled him into you. Fives met your lips solidly, stunned and in shock. In the next moment, you felt him begin to melt into the kiss. His hunger quickly matched yours, and he slid his tongue over your lip, begging entrance. You let him in, the shock of your actions finally sparking within you as you savored his taste.

No more regrets, a voice in the back of your head boomed, and a boldness suddenly came over you.

Never leaving his lips, you spun your torso to him and brought yourself to your knees, straddling his legs. He pulled you to his chest, deepening the kiss now that you were at a better angle. His goatee brushed your chin, a comforting reminder that this was real. It was really Fives kissing you. Your hands found his the back of his neck where you clung to him as Fives sealed his lips on yours. He wrapped one arm around your waist while the other hand cupped the back of your head, tilting you so he could taste every inch of your mouth. You sucked on his tongue, and Fives let out a small rumble that went straight to your core. His scent, a heady warmth with a hint of plasma, overwhelmed your senses. He was all you could breathe now, but you needed more. You wanted to feel him. You let your hands fall to his chest and pushed back, breaking the kiss. He stared up at you, this kneeling position giving you the height advantage. His jaw was slack, and his brown eyes were dazed as you met his gaze. You reached for the hem of your white tank top and pulled it over your head, stripping it from your body, and tossed it aside. Fives leaned back as he gapped at you, stunned by your movement. You turned your attention to his clothing, tugging at the edge of his compression shirt.

“Wait, wait!” Fives’ hands met yours. “Are you sure?”

“Yes,” Your voice was firm as you watched him, unblinking.

He swallowed, his grip a little tighter on your hands. He wanted this too.

“We’re going….” His look kept getting pulled back to your lips. “We’re going to use up oxygen.”

“I don’t care.” Your eyes roved over his face. You had waited so long for this. If you were going to die, you wanted to do it by his lips. “Do you?”

“Kriff, no.” He half-growled, any reservations disappearing with your consent.

Everything became rushed. Each movement was faster than the next as you both raced against the clock. Fives released your hands, letting you strip the top from his form. You ran your hands back down over his muscled, tan chest. Fives groaned at your touch before he tugged at your waist, pulling you back into his lips. You gripped his powerful bicep in one hand while the other found its way to his curls, tugging gently at the short hair and earning a moan from Fives. His broad fingertips dug at your bare skin, needy and wanting. He ran his hands over your ribs and under your binder, grazing the sensitive skin underneath your breasts. Then, he traced his way downward. His hands snuck under the fabric of your jumpsuit and made their way over the curve of your legs and around to your backside, kneading at your flesh as he pulled you closer to him still. You felt him harden beneath you. He left your lips to kiss along your jaw before he found a spot on your neck. He sucked and nipped, sending a shiver that traveled from your pulse point down to the pooling heat in the pit of your stomach. You wished you had more time.

You didn’t, though. Even now, the invisible timer ticked away in the back of your head. You moved to squat so you could strip your jumpsuit from your lower half. Fives held you up, his strong hands gripping under your arms as you struggled with the fabric. In sloppy movements, you finally pulled the jumpsuit and underwear from your legs. Fives quickly wrapped you back into him as soon as possible. Your kiss was frenzied now. His hands traveled up and down your body, caressing every inch of your skin he could reach as he swept his fingertips over you in a hurried march. They returned to your binder, where they lingered for a moment. Fives traced your pert nipples through the fabric, the friction teasing your sensitive skin, but after letting out a small huff in your mouth, he moved on. The timer was clearly ticking for him too. Fives found his true target as his hand trailed downward and made its way between you. He paused at your soaking opening only for a moment, tracing your tight ring of muscle just enough to tease you before he quickly slid a warm finger home.

His lips moved back to your neck as you snapped your hips against his hand. He added a second finger and sank deeper, meeting your movements. It wasn’t long before he found your sweet, spongy spot and pumped his hand against it, pulling moans and mews from your lips. His thumb came to your clit, teasing small circles around your sweet mound until you were putty in his hands.

“Just fuck me already.” You begged.

“Oh, mesh’la.” He nipped at your ear.

It was a promise. Fives pulled his fingers from you and reached for the hem of his body glove. He pulled it down, revealing his hardened length, veiny and thick with want. He took himself in his hand, smearing your slick over it as he stroked himself. You raised yourself up over him. He slotted himself against your entrance before he looked up at you. You met his eyes as you both paused for a beat. Fives looked like he still wanted to say something to you, but after a moment, he just surged forward and captured your mouth with his once more.

“Fives.”

You sunk down onto him as you gasped his name against his lips. He pushed against your walls as he entered you, reaching every corner, the pressure making your head swim. You clawed at his chest as you sank to the hilt, any pain turning quickly to pleasure. He gripped your waist, a sharp breath leaving him as he waited for you to adjust.

“Fuck,” He muttered. His hips twitched beneath you as he battled with his body to give you a moment to recover. “You feel incredible.”

“I need to move, please.” You pleaded with him as you reached for his shoulders.

You began to ride him, lifting yourself up and sinking down, letting his cock fill you up again and again. He raised up to meet you with every movement, turning you into a babbling mess as you came apart on his cock. His hand found your clit again.

His thumb refused to slow as it drew wave after wave of bliss from you. Fives’ eyes watched the place where you came together, staring as he stretched you out with every rolling movement. Soon, you felt yourself being pulled to the brink. You let your head fall into his neck.

“I’m so close.” You mumbled against his skin.

“Look at me.” His lips were pressed against your ear as he begged.

You opened your eyes and lifted your head to meet his eyes. I love you, you wanted to say, but you held back. Instead, you tried to tell him with your eyes and prayed he heard you. You wanted him to feel loved. His eyes burned back at you, meeting you with all the want and need you felt for him.

White spots formed behind your vision, and you began to shake. Fives snapped his hips upward, pushing you over the edge and sending you plummeting into your orgasm. He followed quickly afterward, cumming with three final thrusts as he filled you up.

You collapsed into his chest, letting your head fall to his shoulder. He wrapped his arms around you as he softened within you. You were both slick with sweat, but neither of you moved as you tried to catch your breath. You wondered for a moment if you would, and as Fives’ grip dug a little deeper into your arms, you had a feeling that he was wondering the same thing. But eventually, your breathing slowed, and your eyes started to flutter close.

You felt Fives lift you up and slip out of you, tucking himself back into his blacks. Then, he came back to you, helping you tug your jumpsuit back on. You frowned at the sudden space between you. Part of you wanted to protest, but even in your hazy bliss, you knew it made sense. If anyone ever did find your bodies, it would be better not to be naked. When you were both dressed, you laid down on the blanket again and pulled him down next to you. Fives let you tug him close as both of you fought sleep just a little longer. You knew you would wake up shortly, clutching your chest and struggling for air. You knew you would both die gasping in stunned breaths. But for now, you were almost happy. His arms wrapped around you, and Fives placed one last kiss on the top of your head. You pressed your ear to his chest and let yourself fall into a final sleep to the sound of his heartbeat.

Air came rushing back into your lungs. You choked and coughed on the sudden stream. Your eyes shot open at the sudden rush. A familiar, unmistakable face swam in front of you.

“Rex?” You croaked.

You didn’t recognize your own voice, hoarse and broken. Rex, leaning over you, frowned at your effort.

“Shhh,” He quickly hushed you. “We’ve got you. Hang in there, ad’ika.”

He reached down, hoisting you up into his arms. The world behind him glowed, and somewhere, dimly in the back of your mind, you slowly formed one word, Sun. Sun, air, Rex. You were saved. Where was Fives, though?

You started to panic. Fives. You wriggled in Rex’s arms.

“Hey, hey!” He warned as he tried to hold on to you.

“Fives.” You croaked again.

“He’s okay,” Rex assured you, pulling you tighter to him. “Echo’s got him.”

Fives was safe. You stopped wiggling. The darkness crept in again, and you let it take you.

You spent the trip back to Coruscant drifting in and out of consciousness as you floated in a hyperbaric chamber. Nothing was around you. Only a benevolent darkness and your soothed subconscious. Some part of you knew this was supposed to feel peaceful, but something in you was still restless. Even nirvana didn’t feel as peaceful as Fives’ arms had.

Consciousness finally crept up on you in the medbay. Unlike the cave, you knew where you were the moment you opened your eyes. You instantly recognized the sterile walls, the bright lights, and the stiff, scratchy fabric of the patient gowns. And if those weren’t enough clues, the face that soon bobbed over you would have been.

“What the fuck?” Kix prodded at you, poking your shoulder with an outstretched finger as he appeared next to your hospital bed.

“Is this always your bedside manner?” You groaned as you pushed yourself up on your arms, decidedly tired of waking up like this. “No wonder I’m the favorite medic.”

“Like hell you are.” Kix grinned as he waved his fingers in front of your face, starting your second neuro exam of the day. “Besides, this bedside manner is reserved for my civilian medic who tried real hard to die on me.”

“What a bitch.” You sighed as you leaned back into the thin mattress, closing your eyes.

“No kidding,” Kix huffed as he continued your assessment.

You let him feel your pulses and shine a light in your eyes as you drifted off with your thoughts. You were alive. That should be a good thing; underneath, you knew it was. But there was an empty feeling like you had left something in the cave, and it was gone forever. Like it had slipped through your hands. Despite your best efforts, you found your thoughts drifting toward Fives.

Fives. Even his name made your skin crawl now. You practically had thrown yourself at him. For years, you had been able to keep your feelings for him separate from your relationship with him. It was one thing to sleep with him if it was the last thing you ever did. But now you had lived, and you couldn’t take it back. Fives would know now, and when you saw him next, there would be nowhere to hide.

Finally, Kix was satisfied you were well enough to leave the medbay. He pointed out a pile of clothes that Echo had collected for you and turned to go so you could have some privacy. Before he pulled the door shut across, Kix paused.

“Glad you’re here, ad’ika.”

You smiled back at the medic, the empty feeling abating just a little. You were alone with your thoughts, but the familiar beeps and alarms of the medbay machinary brought you some comfort. You focused to the squeaky orchestra as you slowly dressed. You had just pulled your shirt in when there was a knock on the door.

“Come on in.” You called, trying to think what test Kix could possibly have forgotten.

Instead, Fives opened the door. Your jaw and your heart dropped as you met his brown eyes.

“Hey, mesh’la.”

His usual nickname made your stomach twist. Panic threatened to overwhelm you as your heart began to race. You felt your lungs begin to heave again, desperate for more oxygen as your body readied to run. He stayed in the doorway, the space between you both too much and not enough all at once. Your eyes traveled up and down him, clad once again in his armor. There was no softness. Nothing you could cling to anymore. Breathe, you reminded yourself.

“Hey.” You tried to smile at him but your mouth refused.

“Just wanted to check on you.” He rubbed a hand along the back of his neck, eyes roving around the room.

“I’m good.” You watched him, trying to read his every move, but there was nothing. No hints of what he was feeling or, worse, what he was thinking. Breathe. “You?”

“Yeah.” That sideways smile flickered over his face for an instant and then it was gone. “Good as new.”

Silence settled between you, almost as suffocating as the cavern. Breathe.

“So we made it.” Fives finally spoke, his look finally finding yours.

“Yeah,” you shifted under his stare. Breathe.

Fives opened his mouth, but a long beep cut him off. He looked down at the comm on his wrist and groaned.

“I gotta take this.”

“Of course.” You nodded, flashing him a smile that you imagined probably looked more like a grimace.

He nodded before he vanished, ducking out of the door quicker than he had appeared. You dropped back into the cot with a groan. You suddenly wanted to crawl back into the hyperbaric chamber and slip back into the abyss.

Instead, the cruiser made it to Coruscant, and you were able to busy yourself with work. As soon as the landing ship let you out and onto the base, you threw yourself into the medical supplies. You sorted and restocked for hours, ignoring Rex and then Coric when they each tried to stop you in turn.

You were kneeling on the ground, restocking one of the med kits that the clones kept in their barracks, when the lid snapped shut, nearly catching your fingers as it came down.

You glared upwards to find Jesse grinning down at you. Kix stood beside him, arms crossed.

“You‘re coming out.” Kix’s tone was stern. It was the tone he usually reserved for delivering bad medical news. “Doctor’s orders.”

You opened your mouth to protest, but Jesse quickly cut you off.

“Come on,” Jesse nodded towards the door. “We’re all going to 79’s, and we’re not taking no for an answer.”

“Sorry, no is the only answer I’ve got.” You reached to flip the lid back open on the kit, but Kix’s boot beat you to the top, sealing it shut with his weight.

“Just come before we have to unleash more cruel tactics.” Jesse quipped.

“You mean the two of you get more annoying?” You glared at them, but there was no bite behind it.

They glanced at each other and grinned. They had won, and they knew it.

79’s was crowded. Your head throbbed with the bass, remnants of the concussion that you and Kix had a mutual, unspoken agreement to ignore tonight. But it was proving harder than you had hoped. Beyond the music and the flashing lights, the men you came with weren’t helping, despite your affection for their enthusiasm. They all crowded you and Fives into a back booth where they were whooping and hollering at a near-constant rate. Each soldier took turns slapping you on the back and offering to buy you a drink. You smiled at every one of them in turn and thanked them, but you stuck to sipping on water.

You had decided to be sober tonight for a few reasons. The concussion was one of them. The other was across the table, Echo’s arm slung over his shoulder. Echo, who had refused to let Fives stray more than arm’s reach away from him, told the story of how he had been able to triangulate your location based on the maps from the mission briefing and, when he saw the rock wall, knew what had happened. It had taken General Skywalker thirty minutes to get the equipment to the mountainside, and the hot-headed Jedi had apparently fumed the entire time. Then, when the droids moved the rocks from the cave entrance, they were able to pull you out and from the brink of death.

You tried your best to smile at Echo while he recounted. It was proving hard, though, because you still couldn’t bring yourself to look at Fives. To your left, Hardcase leaned across you to whisper to Jesse and Coric.

“We need to get him laid.” He giggled conspiratorially as he glanced at the ARC and then back to his brothers.

“We need to get them both laid.” Jesse elbowed you.

“Nothing like ‘I’m still alive’ sex.” Coric nodded firmly.

Jesse raised a glass.

“I’ll toast to that!” He smirked, and Hardcase joined them.

The drink sloshed out of their glasses and down the front of your jumpsuit. As it darkened, you remembered the blood. Suddenly nauseous, you jumped from your seat. The clones stared up at you with wide apologetic eyes. Then they all spoke at once.

“Kriff,” Hardcase swore as he tried to signal a droid for a towel.

“Here,” Jesse grabbed for all the napkins he could reach on the table.

“Sorry, sorry!” Coric apologized.

“It’s fine.” You pushed Jesse’s hands away as he tried to dab up the liquid. You turned to Hardcase and nodded to him to let you out of the booth.

He quickly jumped up, still profusely swearing inbetween sincere apologies. You brushed him off as you made for the fresher.

Quickly, you found a hand dryer to dry off your clothes. You glanced in the mirror to inspect the outfit. It was an old jumpsuit you wouldn’t miss if whatever acrid liquor they were drinking wouldn’t come out of it. It wasn’t the stain that caught your eye, though. Instead, you were caught off guard by the sour look on your face. No wonder they were trying to cheer you up, you thought. You didn’t look like someone who had just survived a near-death experience. You looked like someone who had just been sentenced to death.

You sighed. Tonight was a lost cause. You should sneak out now, you decided, and comm Jesse and Kix with an apology later. Coric and Hardcase, too, probably. Tomorrow would be a better day. You just needed time.

You left the fresher, a sense of hope creeping in for the first time in hours. It fled the moment you stepped back into the bar.

“Hey, I was coming to look for you.”

You stared slackjawed at Fives. He had somehow managed to escape Echo’s grip and was waiting outside the fresher. Clad only in armor from the waist down, and his compression top rolled up to reveal his forearms, he looked even more handsome than usual in the muted, neon light. A sheepish grin danced on his lips. Your heart skipped a beat, and you cursed yourself. Even after everything, you couldn’t shake how you felt.

He opened his mouth to speak again, but a different voice boomed over the music, calling out both of your names.

“What are you two doing back here?” Hardcase sprung on you and threw an arm over your shoulder.

“We were just saying we need to get you two laid!” Hardcase wrapped his other arm around Fives, pulling you both into him. “Nothing like ‘We’re still alive’ sex!”

“Not as good as ‘We’re going to die’ sex.” Fives let out a half-laugh as his eyes slid around Hardcase to meet yours.

You choked.

You had to leave now. You would have to transfer. Quit. Go AWOL. You didn’t know what you were going to do, but right now, you needed to leave this bar.

“I’ll see you guys at the table.” You said as you slipped out from under Hardcase’s arm.

You scurried through the club, skirting the bar and dashing for the door, desperately avoiding the eyes of any well-meaning clones that stepped out of your way, afraid you might find a pair that would try to stop your flight.

The cool, Coruscant night air filled your lungs as you gasped, your body still seeking more oxygen. You wondered if that feeling would ever go away. As you tried to catch your breath, you glanced around. The platform outside the club was empty, and there was no air taxi in sight. You sighed and dialed a comm. Then you heard your name.

“Are you running away?”

The voice was unmistakable. It might haunt you for the rest of your life. You closed your eyes, trapping the tears that suddenly welled up behind your eyelids.

“Just leave me alone, Fives.”

He called your name again. His voice was closer this time. Then you felt a hand come to rest on your shoulder. You stepped away from his grasp before you spun to face him.

In the wide open platform, Fives looked small for the first time you could remember. His chest was rising and falling quickly like he had run out to catch you. You would have to transfer, you decided at that moment. There was no other way out of this. For either of you.

“Why did you run away?”

“Because this isn’t a joke, Fives.” You snapped at him as you took another step backward. You turned your gaze towards the city skyline as the next words spilled out of you before you could stop them. “That wasn’t We’re-going-to-die sex for me. I have feelings for you. I spent a long time ignoring it, but now, I can’t anymore, and I… I don’t know what to do.”

“How long have you had feelings for me?”

“Since I joined the 501st.” You sighed, still not looking at him. “What does it matter?”

“You really have feelings for me?” He asked.

“Is that your only takeaway here?” You could have screamed in frustration, but instead, your tone was quiet and defeated.

“It’s the only one I need.”

You let yourself look back at Fives just as he broke into a wide grin. Before you could ask what he meant, Fives reached out and wrapped a hand around your wrist. He tugged you to him, pulling you back into your arms. You barely had a moment to be shocked before he kissed you.

There was nothing hurried about this kiss. When his full lips met yours, he moved against you slowly and sensually. His hand found the back of your head again, and he tilted you up to him as he parted your lips and met your tongue with slow, languid licks. He moved to you cheek and then your jawline where he trailed along with soft, sweet kisses until he found your ear.

“I’m sorry I joked.” He whispered against your skin. “I’ve loved you for a long time, and I thought I’d messed it all up. I didn’t know what else to do.”

“I love you too, Fives.” You were breathless as you whispered back.

You barely had time to notice that it was a different kind of breathless, one of excess rather than deficit. You threw your arms around his shoulders as you found his lips once more. Instead of death waiting at the end of the kiss, it was the rest of your life.

By the time you got to your apartment, your jumpsuit was half unzipped, and lipstick was smeared across Fives’ face. Neither of you cared as you stumbled through the doorway and into the bedroom.

You tugged at your zipper, desperate to strip the fabric from your body. When you finally freed yourself and let it pool on the ground around your ankles, you realized Fives wasn’t wrapped around you anymore. You spun, only to find him watching you from the doorway. A soft smile played on his lips. Peace settled across his brow. You couldn’t help but smile back.

“Hurry up, get your armor off and kriff me already.” You teased as you sat on the bed, patting the mattress next to you.

He chuckled as he stepped towards you. Then he paused, bending down to remove one of his shin plates and then the other. He moved slowly, like a man with all the time in the world. You felt excitement pulsing through you as you waited. Anticipation had every cell in your body vibrating as you waited for his touch.

Finally, stripped down to his body suit, he crossed the room in two strides until he towered over you. You felt your mouth fall open just a little as you looked up at him.

“No,” He brought a knuckle to your chin, winking as he closed your mouth. “This time, I’m going to take my time with you.”

He dropped the knuckle to your chest and pushed you over with one gentle finger. You fell softly back into the bed, your legs hanging off the edge. Staring up at your ceiling, you didn’t have time to wonder at his plan before you felt two strong palms pushing your knees apart. You looked down to see Fives fall to his knees next to the bed. A hungry look danced in his eye. His fingers wrapped around the elastic of your underwear, and you lifted up your rear enough for him to strip your panties from you. Your head fell back as you exhaled.

Fives’ lips began to ghost over your legs. The breath that skated across your body seemed to steal the one on your lips. He nipped and licked at the sensitive skin as he moved up from your knees to your inner thighs. You shivered, and your hips started to wiggle as you ached for his touch where you needed it most.

“Patience, mesh’la.” Fives whispered, his words hovering above your throbbing core.

Finally, his tongue met your center as he licked one long stripe along your lower lips. You let out a desperate moan at the attention. Your eyes fell to meet his just as he chuckled at your reaction. He flashed a smile at you before he turned back to the sight before him. He began to trace long, slow circles around your entrance, making you clench around the emptiness. His nose grazed over your clit, sending a shudder through your body and pulling another moan from your lips. Satisfied with the withering mess you had become from his teasing, Fives sunk his tongue into you. He began to lick and suck in a frenzy, groaning as he tasted you. His attention worked you quickly to the brink. He sank two fingers into your slick entrance, curling them until you cried out and came, spasming around him.

When the raptureous swell subsided, you lifted yourself up to your elbows to be greeted by Fives stripping his compression suit from his body. Finally naked, he grinned down at you with your arousal still shining in his facial hair. In an unspoken agreement, you both paused, taking the time to admire the other person. Time you didn’t get before. Muscled, broad, and covered in scattered scars and tattoos, you’d seen Fives without his shirt before. Even before your moment in the cave, you’d personally patched up more than a few of those wounds. But that didn’t stop him from taking your breath away now. Your eyes skated over his bronze form before falling to his erect, hardened length. He was weeping, having teased himself as much as he teased you. You looked back up to meet Fives’ eyes. His gaze met yours. They were shining.

“Now, will you kriff me already?” You smirked at him.

“I can’t wait another second.” He rasped.

You moved up to find the head of the bed as he clambered next to you. He moved over you in the next motion, caging you into the mattress. His honey eyes bored into yours for a moment before he leaned down and captured you in another kiss. You met his lips with a fury, tasting yourself on his tongue. You sighed into his mouth as you felt him slot against your entrance. Slowly, he sank into you, the stretch just as overwhelming as before. Your breath hitched in your throat, and Fives paused. He pulled away, watching your face as he slid back out from you before sinking in again. He continued in slow and measured movements, thrusting in and out until he was pulling moans from you with every roll of his hips. Your hand wrapped around his neck and found purchase in his curls as you looked for anything to hold on to. His breath became heavy and thick in your ear as he muttered praises.

“You feel so good.” He groaned. “My good girl. You- you have no idea... Wanted this so badly.”

His words made you clench around him, and he swore at the vice grip of your warmth. He began to move with a fury, and one hand fell to where your bodies met and found your sensitive nub. He began to draw slow circles around your swollen mound. Your arms fell to the sheets, digging into the fabric at the sensation, still overstimulated from his earlier attentions. You angled your hips up, meeting every thrust of his with one of your own. The new angle let him sink even further into you, bringing new depths of ecstasy. His circles around your clit quickened.

You began to shake as Fives brought you to the edge. Then, with a cry of his name, you stiffened as another orgasm washed over you. He returned your cry with one of his own as he finished inside you. He collapsed into your neck as he buried himself to the hilt one last time.

Fives rolled over, pulling you with him. You curled up, laying your head on his chest. You felt the thudding pulse of his heart against your ear. Without thinking, you raised a hand to his chest and began to tap one finger along with the beat. Lub, dub. Lub, dub. A tiny snort met your ears. You raised your eyes up to meet Fives’ bright stare.

“What are you doing, mesh’la?” He smiled down at you, the old nickname ringing with a different meaning now.

“It… I just needed to feel it. Hear it.” You breathed in rhythm with its gentle drumming. “I needed to know it was still beating.”

“It is.” Fives captured your hand in his and pressed to his chest. “For you. Always for you.”

You looked up at him with glassy eyes. He kissed your forehead before he leaned back into the pillow. As sleep took you, you listened to the cadence of his heartbeat with a smile on your lips.

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