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#anyways. literally every time i interact with them i just hear ‘please be poly please be poly’ over and over in the back of my head
welcome welcome, it’s been a while.
but we’re back now with tumblr’s favorite show: AFTG Hot Takes, where i spew paragraphs and paragraphs of bullshit instead of working on my WIP.
without any further ado, i am proud to present: every AFTG ship, ranked.
this is your friendly reminder that these are just my opinions. if you like a ship i don’t: great! if you don’t like a ship that i love: also great! i’m always happy to hear people’s thoughts, and i love a good friendly debate, but please remember that i’m 17. i’m not here to argue with you about why your ship is the best. i’m just here to have fun.
these probably aren’t all the ships that are out there, but this is everything i’ve seen so far. if i missed one, let me know!
24. Jean/Riko
this one… ew. ew ew ew. every ship with riko is so ew, i cannot begin to explain, but this one is the worst.
i’ve read too many Nest fics to not gag at this tag, cause it’s never consensual.
23. Kevin/Riko
just no.
moving on.
22. Kevin/Thea
y’all know i hate this ship by now, but for newcomers: it’s predatory and neglectful. very very ick.
21. Andrew/Roland
this one… where to start?
i’ll probably make a full post ab it soon, so for now, let’s just say that it’s very similar to Kevin/Thea. The age gap at the time that things started between them… the morals and legality are murky at best.
20. Andrew/Kevin
i’ve said it once, and i’ll say it again: they. aren’t. good. for. each. other.
Kevin doesn’t respect boundaries. he pushes things. and boundaries are the absolute most important thing for Andrew. they just don’t work.
19. Andrew/Neil/Kevin
i very vehemently despise this ship, for the same reason i hate Andrew/Kevin. i think it’s so important for y’all to remember who these characters are and not just ship them because they all have dicks and are nice to each other sometimes. that turns into mlm fetishization real fuckin quick.
18. Neil/Kevin
this is one that i can almost sort of see. if i hadn’t accidentally spoiled andreil for myself, i would have assumed this was canon during my first read.
but it’s just… i love the fact that they’re friends. i think their friendship can be so amazing, and i love reading fics where they’re that close. i don’t think every friendship in media has to turn romantic.
17. Kevin/Jean/Jeremy
remember what i said about kevandreil? apply it to this one too.
ik it sounds like i just hate poly couples. i don’t. i just hate ships like this, that really wouldn’t be healthy but people put together anyway because oh gay people yay! it feels gross and fetish-y and i am not here for it.
16. Kevin/Jean
this is a ship that i can see happening pre-canon, but i’m not the biggest fan of it simply because there’s no way it could be healthy. they went through a lot together, sure, but traumabonds are notoriously unhealthy.
15. Kevin/Matt
this, again, feels like just putting two characters together because they’re nice to each other occasionally, but really? they aren’t. correct me if i’m wrong, but Matt and Kev only have one canon interaction that i can remember, and it’s literally Matt punching Kev in the face.
Not to mention, Dan and Matt. Dan and Matt! i love them too much to accept this.
14. Kevin/Matt/Aaron
listen. again, i don’t hate poly couples. i really, really don’t. i just…
Matt literally… just doesn’t mesh well with Kev or Aaron. at all? i don’t understand the thought process behind this.
13. Renee/Jean
i don’t… i don’t hate this one. i just don’t like it. i feel like both Renee and Jean have wayyy better ships (not to spoil anything, but they both make top 5 in different ships)
i don’t think they’re awful, per se, i just don’t really see the chemistry.
12. Allison/Seth
this is an unpopular opinion, i know. but i’ve read a few “Seth lives” fics that redeem him, so i can’t hate him. i can’t, you can’t make me.
believe me, i don’t like it either, but i don’t run this city, the rats do.
anyway, it’s not awesome and i like Ally’s other options better, but it could be good! it could be great! i read too much redemption fanfic!
11. Kevin/Jeremy
i’ll be honest, it’s not my favorite to read when Jean is also in a fic, but if we’re talking in general?
i adore. fics where Kev is falling all over himself trying to talk to Jer are my bread. and. fucking. butter. quicksand has destroyed me. absolutely ruined me.
10. Aaron/Katelyn
starting off the top ten with one of my favorite minor characters ever, this ship is up here because i love Kate so much.
i read too much fanfiction, i know, but i just think she’s so cool?
honestly, i really don’t think Aaron deserves her. she’s that cool. i love her so much. that’s my lady. my babygirl. simply adore.
9. Abby/Wymack/Betsy
i like this one, i really do. all the Fox parents together? it’s perfect. i love it. enough said.
8. Kevin/Allison
listen. i’ve said i didn’t get it before, but honestly? i change my mind. i like this one. i like it a lot.
their personalities would mesh so well. they’re both dramatic, they’d be the funniest fucking couple in the world. i like it a lot.
7. Abby/Wymack
it’s a classic. i ship it, you ship it, the Foxes ship it too. we all ship it. they’re made for each other, and that’s all i have to say.
6. Matt/Dan
if you don’t like this one, you’re lying. they are. the definition. of love.
they’re so cute? so cute? i have no words?
your honor, i love them.
top five time!!
5. Nicky/Erik
god, these two.
if you know me at all, you know i have a soft spot for Nicky. i relate to his story so much, and i hate how dirty Nora did him.
but god, these two. they are love. they are perfect.
i have no words. i just love them so much
4. Kevin/Aaron
i love this one. you know i love this one. everyone knows i love this one.
they’re both assholes, and they’re both hurt in different ways, and i love when they heal together. when they help each other and lean on each other and just- ugh.
i like watching them heal, and i like watching them do it together. (plus best friend’s brother anyone?? a classic trope)
3. Renee/Allison
i love them so much. i love them so much.
they balance each other out so well? they’re so perfect for each other?
also, we need more wlw couples in media in general, and especially in this series.
i love them so much.
2. Jean/Jeremy
you know. you know i love this one (thank you Hoax, and thank you gus_47. you have ruined my sleep schedule and i have never been happier)
grumpyxsunshine, guys. healing together. i love when people heal together. i love it
also, round of applause to us in the fandom for creating an incredibly popular ship between two people who literally never interact in canon. we did that. i love that for us.
and now, for #1.
1. Andrew/Neil
they are love. they. are. love.
it’s a classic but it’s perfect, and i love them so much. no i will not elaborate (this time)
well! thank you for reading, start a (friendly) fight with me if you want, and drink some water
hugs and kisses <3
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number-1-crush · 2 years
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do you guys have any idea how hard it is to get over a crush when they have a habit of calling everyone “babes” and they have a silly nickname for you and they’ll often tell you goodbye by going “cya [aforementioned nickname] ily!!” do you have any clue
#they’re cute and it’s annoying to me#just bc like. i’m normally over crushes super quickly. like snap oh feelings gone mkay#but here it’s like. i have zero chance. none. i know this. and yet my brain refuses to detach#like girl!!! this ship is sinking you are not going down with it!!!#oh whoops i was just making an analogy. was not talking abt shipping myself with them that’d be weird#anyways. literally every time i interact with them i just hear ‘please be poly please be poly’ over and over in the back of my head#am i sad jealous or salty? no. am i irritated bc my silly little heart won’t move on? yes#at this point i’m even like. should i just tell them so i can get rejected and move on.#but i think i’d literally rather die#but also how could i have not gotten a crush on them!!!!#they gave me a rose quartz when we met bc they had it in their pocket! they’re really fucking nice!#they’re also strong! we’ve worked together during theatre games and it’s always fun!#when we were first getting to know each other we were talking abt gender and they went ‘omg ur literally my favorite person’#like!!!! not fair. also they introduced the friendly ilys at like. stage 2 of our friendship#the first time they said it i just kinda like. froze bc i was so shocked. and i think i said ‘oh thanks’ or smth bc. flustered#and then they went ‘too soon?’ and i had to scramble like ‘NO IT WAS SWEET I WAS JUST CAUGHT OFF GUARD’#also they said they’d make a playlist for me when i said i wanted to expand my music taste. literally that’s a love language#anyways. mad i’m not over it. the anger isn’t directed at anyone it’s just there#still kinda holding out on the poly theory tho. we’ll see
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OH could you do one with the boys (poly or separate) with a demon s/o pretty please?
Oh, yeah, I can definitely do this one. Just letting you know that I currently have a fic on AO3 of an OC who’s a demon, so if you’d like to check it out feel free!! Here you go!!
Poly!Lost Boys x Demon S/O
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The boys knew you were different. From the moment they saw you, they could tell you weren’t human. At first, David wanted to get rid of you. He didn’t want anyone else squeezing in on their territory, especially something they didn’t recognize
He sent Paul and Marko to go scope you out, and potentially get you alone and away from the boardwalk. The minute they came up to you, you knew they weren’t human either. In fact, you were much older than all of them and you knew exactly what they were. You smirked, and decided you’d have some fun with the clueless vampires
You flirted with them for the whole night, but you refused to let them get you off the boardwalk. Marko would try to convince you with physical affection and hinting at a night alone with him. He’d would brush your hair behind your ear and offer to take you someplace more private, giving you one of his signature grins. You’d refuse, and then Paul would try. He’d hit you with the funniest pick-up lines. After winning you something from the claw machine, you’d say he had magic hands. He’d then not-so-subtly offer to show you exactly what else his hands could do, and you’d have to either laugh or roll your eyes at how shameless he was
By the end of the night, however, the pair decided that you were a good time
You looked so innocent that you could steal things from the game vendors with ease. You’d knick Paul a thing of bubbles, and he practically fell for you right then. This big himbo spent the rest of the night blowing bubbles directly into your face just so he could pop them
You matched Markos fighting energy, and you nearly ripped the head off of a random drunk surf-nazi who decided it was okay to touch you. After seeing you nearly tear him limb from limb, Marko was all heart-eyes. Paul had no chance of holding back the both of you, but the three of you quickly ran away when Big Ed came to break it up
Instead of getting you off the beach to potentially dispose of you, the pair introduced you to the rest. David wasn’t happy. They were directly disobeying orders, but Marko quickly swore, “Trust me, you’ll like them” while Dwayne and Paul distracted you. David reluctantly gave you a chance. He had to admit, it was rare when Marko liked someone new
Dwayne was the next to like you. You took an interest in him because of how quiet he was, and it surprised him a bit. People didn’t usually try to talk to him because they thought he was too intimidating, and you just walked right up to him and asked him about his jacket. Dwayne doesn’t talk much, but he will always talk about his jacket. When you complimented it and told him how cool it was, Dwayne couldn’t help his smile. Okay, so maybe you were alright
Marko and Paul are in the background watching your interaction just grinning like two idiots. Paul makes kissy faces at Dwayne behind your back, and Marko has to push him to stop before he gets your attention
David is the last one to like you. He’s still a little suspicious, and he offers to take you for a ride. You really should know better than to accept an invitation from a vampire, but you accept anyways. David falls for you when you spend the entire ride to the cave holding onto him so tight he thinks you’ll break him, screaming from a mix of delight and fear whenever he does something a little risky
Once back at the cave, all of you come clean. They know you’re not human, and you know they’re vampires. They’re shocked you were able to guess what they were, and you quickly make it up to them by revealing what you are
You show them your true form. Horns, tail, claws and all. The boys think that they were fools for even thinking of getting rid of you because damn. They thought their true forms were cool
Once you settle into a relationship, you cause trouble with them. All types of trouble
You and David play mind games on people together, and you have a running competition going of who can get the wildest reactions out of people. It never fails to make the both of you laugh, and you know well enough to just let David win. David loves it when you possess people. He thinks it’s the funniest thing ever, and it’s the easiest way to get him to really, actually laugh. David doesn’t have to worry about being too much for you, because you’re the literally personification of evil. You don’t care if he’s a bit of a dick sometimes, and he loves you for it
You steal gifts for Paul, and he LOVES them. You stole him a stuffed animal? He named it after you and now it has a special place in the cave. You stole him some alcohol? None of the other boys are allowed to drink it. You stole him a new bracelet? He’ll wear it every day. Paul thinks your true form is the definition of sexy. The minute he sees you slip back into it at the cave, he’s all over you. He didn’t realize he had a demon fetish until he met you, but now he literally cannot get enough. 
Paul is the first to try to drink from you, and the boys quickly realize that demon blood is basically like junk food to them. It tastes good and it’s satisfying, but it’s not entirely healthy for them. It also makes them hyper and gives them some extra strength, which makes them realize just how easily you probably could’ve beaten them the first night. This makes all of the boys like it more, and at least one of them will take a bite each night
You and Dwayne will have chill nights on the couch reading or talking, and he’ll sometimes ask you questions about what it’s like to be a demon or what hell’s like. He likes to hear you ramble about it, and it content to just listen to you while you put your head in his lap. He’ll play with your horns or your tail if you sit in his lap. He likes to twirl it around his fingers and he’s so gentle that you don’t mind. He’s the only one that still babies you even if you are a demon. To him, you’ll always be his little prince/princess/princex, even if you can rip apart someone with your bare hands
Marko and you will fuck with people on the daily. He’s ready to tear Santa Carla apart and set it on fire if you wanted to. He’s easily the most chaotic of the four, and demons are the definition of chaos. And fun! You two take turns scaring people on the beach, and he loves to have you reel in his meals for him. He thinks it’s so cool when your eyes turn all black, and you can feel truly comfortable in your true form around him. He likes to fly with you in his arms, even if you can fly yourself. You two are never allowed to go to the boardwalk without supervision because a fight will ensue
The boys feel as comfortable around you as they would another vampire. You’re a creature of the night, just like them. Except, well, you don’t really need to sleep. You guard them during the day, and satan forbid any nosy little frog brothers try to sneak into their den
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momestuck · 5 years
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Epilogues: Candy, Ch 22-26 [Epilogue 5]
/So a lot of heavy shit has happened, though worse is yet to come (I’ve been warned of an onscreen sexual assault in chapter 32).
Everyone’s been having babies and funerals! It’s a busy time.
(note: csa mention in chapter 23, though it does not occur in the narrative)
Chapter 22
This is another John-Terezi text convo chapter. There’s been a three-year timeskip. And... it’s raining ghosts now.
So I guess that’s what became of the whole ghosts in the Furthest Ring thing?
We also learn that, on top of the breeding restrictions, trolls are banned from rising beyond certain levels in government. Jane is, we learn, pretty much running the government behind the scenes, because what makes fascist movements tick is one evil person, obviously.
Karkat’s the one with a backbone at least...
JOHN: and karkat...
JOHN: he’s gone completely off the grid!
JOHN: at first we all assumed that the reason he ran away was because he got fed up with his shitty poly relationship.
JOHN: which was probably part of it, honestly. but now i keep seeing his face on all the resistance posters!
JOHN: i think they may have actually put him in charge?
TEREZI: H3H
TEREZI: 1 4LW4YS KN3W H3 H4D 1T 1N H1M
This situation is only exacerbated by the ghosts. So that means characters who were very definitely dead in the main storyline can show up.
Gamzee has been apparently spreading this religion of ‘redemption arcs’ by ‘making out with people’, and doing some kind of milk-based ‘baptism’. John, meanwhile, asks about the ethics of kidnapping baby Tavros from his horrific parents...
We get to bare witness to Gamzee ‘redeeming’ the ghosts of Feferi and Eridan. Which involves Eridan going on about Feferi’s feet and Gamzee mashing their faces together to make them ‘kiss and make up’.
Jane, it seems, is going full Condesce in more ways than one:
Just then, a dark shadow passes over the park. The crowd falls silent as they raise their heads to watch a drone ship pass by overhead. Its design is insect-like, splitting into many jagged branches, each decked out with weapons and cameras. It’s completely silent, and encased in armor with a bright red finish, smooth and seamless. It’s often cited by Jane as the crown jewel of Crockercorp’s various military contracts with the government.
...including literally building her spaceships, and sending them out over the Troll kingdom.
So we’re basically going to have the Holocaust allegory in here I guess? Fucking hell.
chapter 23
We get more words towards Roxy’s steady character dissolution...
It’s not like Roxy had ever been argumentative, exactly. He just seems to remember someone from his youth who was somewhat more contrarian in spirit than this person he’s married to now.
Back when they were dating, John thought she was acting a little off. Not quite in a bad way, but perhaps a little too “in love,” too fast. At least she still seemed like herself most of the time. But since the wedding, every year that goes by, she seems to become just a little more conciliatory. Not just toward him but toward life in general. She indulges Harry Anderson liberally and almost thoughtlessly. She doesn’t care that her best friend is slowly turning into an executive overseeing the corporate arm up the puppet ass of a ruthless dictatorship. She still thinks Gamzee is being sincere about all this “redemption” bullshit, even though he’s been casting an increasingly dark and hungry shadow behind Jane: a malicious royal vizier to her burgeoning imperial persona.
So John’s going to do something, and hopes that it will make things feel ‘real’ again... which is to say obviously what he talked about with Terezi, kidnapping/rescuing Tavros Crocker. Well-intentioned, but... I do not anticipate this going well.
We learn a little such as... Jane’s planning to outlaw human and troll marriage, which would retroactively hit Rose and Kanaya. Which I guess is the final straw for them. (Frankly it should be well past the final straw for all of them. They should all be with Karkat by this point!)
Also Jane and Jake are in ‘auspistice counselling’. We witness a loud row, in front of Tavros...
TAVROS: It’s fine,,, my parents are kismeses after all,,,
like, fuck.......
It’s a birthday party for Harry Anderson (John and Roxy’s kid), and Jane’s gift is, well, a fucking imperial drone!
sometimes I picture V’s gleeful face as we see the next thing she’s got for us... and now you lick the clown’s armpit... jane’s making the Holocaust but for fictional space aliens...
John awkwardly finds an excuse to be alone with Tavros, to convince him to run away. The kid dialogue is convincingly naive.
The possibility of child sexual abuse (by Gamzee) is raised, but it’s made clear this isn’t the case: what ever else Gamzee is in this version, he doesn’t rape children. However, that the situation is overall abusive in just about every other way is more than clear. Tavros, on his part, seems to be very keen to leave once he’s convinced John can escape Jane’s security.
I have a feeling the imperial drone may become relevant again shortly.
Jade, however, witnesses what John’s trying to do. She insists it will just make everything worse... (also Jake has an ‘execution dance off show’ because yeah...)
Whatever weird character corrosion has hit them is finally raised...
JOHN: if there was another way we would have found it by now!!!
JOHN: but there isn’t one, because everyone’s been all... brainwashed by marriage, or whatever the hell happened over the last few years that made things be this way!
JOHN: it’s like everyone just talks past each other all the time!
JADE: john...
JOHN: i’m the only one who ever seems to realize that something...
JOHN: that something’s WRONG!
Tavros sadly can’t get a word in edgewise as they start having a go at each other - John calling out everything that’s wrong, the way Jade forced a relationship on Dave and Karkat, and... and the noise is loud enough that Jane arrives on the scene.
John finally has a go at her with all the latent awfulness that’s been building up to this point. The fascism, the way she’s treated Jake, the Gamzee thing... the narration has put us very much on his side, centred his perspective, but his friends won’t hear it. And his windy powers destroy the room. So that’s something.
John runs away.
Comment: the mostly strict John viewpoint makes me wonder if there’s any degree of unreliable narration. All the same, most of the stuff is pretty undeniable.
chapter 24
This one begins with an interesting exchange:
JADE [alt-Calliope]: the timelines are interacting again.
ARADIA: ooh do you hear anything interesting
SOLLUX: don’t be s0 n0sy aradia.
To me the implication is that a lot of the ‘arrivals’ in this timeline - alt-Calliope in Jade’s body, the ghosts - are as a result of things that might be happening in the Meat story.
Through alt-Calliope’s eyes, we see Terezi and John’s conversation. Terezi is lost, in more ways than one, in the dreaming void searching for Vriska. She’s also experiencing derealisation... John, apparently in a mood for dropping harsh challenges, tells her point blank that Vriska is either dead, or, not worth her time for leaving her in doubt for so long.
alt-Calliope explains that what is at stake is not the destruction of this universe - but those of them here are ‘the lucky ones’, who live ‘beyond the reach of the prince’. She doesn’t bother to explain what is at stake.
Meanwhile, John and Terezi talk depression. There’s some really vital Terezi dialogue here...
JOHN: please. please come home.
TEREZI: TH3N WH4T
JOHN: umm, i dunno.
JOHN: we hang out and stuff?
TEREZI: JOHN YOU ST1LL DONT G3T 1T
TEREZI: 34RTH C 1S *NOT* MY HOM3
JOHN: do you really miss alternia that bad?
TEREZI: 1 D1D FOR 4 LONG T1M3
TEREZI: MOR3 TH4N K4RK4T 4ND K4N4Y4 D1D 4T L34ST
TEREZI: BUT 1 H4V3 NO 1D34 4NYMOR3
TEREZI: 4LT3RN14, VR1SK4, SGRUB
TEREZI: 1M SO CONFUS3D 4BOUT WH4T 1 W4NT
TEREZI: UGH, 1 THOUGHT TH4T NOT K1LL1NG H3R WOULD M4K3 M3 F33L B3TT3R
TEREZI: BUT 1NST34D 1TS L1K3 1 R3TCONN3D 4 HUG3 CHUNK OUT OF MY SOUL
TEREZI: 1 3R4S3D 4N 4CT1ON OF R3GR3T 4ND GR13F...  
TEREZI: 4ND JUST TURN3D 1T 1NTO SOM3TH1NG 1 C4NT STOP CH4S1NG 4FT3R
TEREZI: M4YB3 WH4T 1 D1D W4S N3CESS4RY TO S4V3 3V3RYON3 3LS3
TEREZI: BUT 1T SUR3 D1DNT S4VE M3
oh terezi....
terezi is giving up. she tells john she texted, echoing his words, to ‘give him the courtesy of closure’. and that she’s going to let herself die, alone in the Furthest Ring.
this is the ‘sweet fluffy’ branch huh
chapter 25
finally an update on what’s going on with Karkat!
he’s been somehow appointed ‘Commander’ of the rebellion, with good old Swifer Eggmop as one of his comrades! I’m so glad Swifer is having a role. Karkat is not all that pleased about the successes of his rebellion:
KARKAT: SO FAR ALL THIS “TROLL REBELLION” HAS AMOUNTED TO IS A WHOLE LOT OF DICK ALL, WITH AN ADDITIONAL SIDE SERVING OF JACK SQUAT, FOLLOWED UP BY A FINAL COURSE OF GETTING TO WATCH OUR TOP ANALYST, CLIPER BORDEN, BEING FORCED TO DANCE TO AVOID LIFE IMPRISONMENT IN A LABOR CAMP ON LIVE TELEVISION AND MAKING A COMPLETE ASS OF HIMSELF.
It’s all a weird mix of surreal and grimdark, much like the Alpha kids’ backstory in Homestuck proper. There’s hard labour camps... making cake; a ‘pastry-based shadow dictatorship’.
Rose and Kanaya are at least involved somewhat in the troll rebellion, and transport of the Mother Grub has been arranged.
Anyway, Karkat’s typically grumpy internal monologue is interrupted by the sudden arrival of Meenah from another dimension. A living Meenah - equipped with a Ring of Life. John asks if she got it from Calliope, but Meenah insists she did not. (Possibly she got it from Andrew Hussie himself? I’d have to watch Cascade again probably...)
Meenah, it seems, is fresh from battling Lord English - apparently without success. But her massive army of ghosts arrives with her... and she’s willing for Karkat to take charge and order her around, as long as he does it with a suitably commanderly demeanour. Does this mean the rebellion now stands more of a chance? Meenah is ruthless (she was the Condesce in another life), though capricious... Karkat is honest and direct and angry about the right things, but rather prone to getting lost in it.
Also he still won’t text Dave, and won’t let Rose talk to him about it.
chapter 26
Back to John, who’s thinking about messaging Terezi again - presumably in the hope that she is not, in fact, dead?
He’s getting a good old mope on about the seeming fakeness, non-’canonicity’ of life on Earth C. But after some ‘melodramatic contemplating’ in this vein, he’s interrupted by his dad’s car.
I’m going to be very curious if the Meat route explains how all this stuff got into the Earth C universe.
Unfortunately, what John finds in the car is... not his dad, but a bit of Terezi’s blood. From which he concludes... he’s never going to see her again, there was never even a possibility of it.
Feeling derealisation more than ever, John just screams a lot.
Damn lol, this story is making me care about John Egbert of all people!
epilogue 5
This is the episode where the whole idyll comes crashing down. Things aren’t ok, things weren’t going to be ok, trying to pretend things were ok just made everyone miserable.
I am sufficiently depressed that that rather appeals as a narrative - much more than a ‘happily ever after’ ending. But it’s not over yet.
Hopefully there’s yet hope for the characters I like to find some manner of escape from this latest hell, develop out of the worst selves they’ve built... Roxy, at least, I hope can change, stop being this non-person...
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head-and-heart · 6 years
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The 100 Highlights - “Damocles: Part 2″ (5x13)
Hey guysssssss. 
I’m back to cover my final highlight recap for Season 5. After this, I’ll be going more in-depth on analysis/criticism of the overall season so enjoy this lighthearted blundering while you can. :)
To read other posts in this series, you can click here. 
Tree is really out here (as always) doing his best work. The score during the opening sequence this episode was *kisses fingers*
I have to say that I did enjoy Bellamy protecting Madi in various ways throughout the finale. He promised Clarke that he would, and it feels like he’s living up to that promise. First by stepping in front of her to protect her from Octavia, and then later when he told her “we’ll be right beside you”, ensuring that he would have her back the entire time. And that he would be there to advise her whenever she needs his help.
“Now we win.” Lousy shot. Ha. Sorry, but that was hot.
“You’ll never know your daughter.” Good. Fucking. Riddance.
“We’ve been here before, Madi. We were the criminals. The 100.” I get weak for any reference to the original hundred what can i say i’m a starving woman
“You can execute them because they’re the enemy, or you can break the cycle. You can be better than them. You can be better than us.”
I do like the theme of Season 5 being about breaking the cycle. Let’s hope that the writers really do mean that when they say it.
I also enjoy the return of motivational speeches Bellamy. Madi may have been the figurehead throughout this episode, but it was really Bellamy leading the way. He may have changed, but he’s still the heart. He still inspires people, and I’m glad that he got to the be the one to have this moment where he changed the tide of the war. It felt like a nice wrap up of his journey over the course of “Book One”.
“We’ll wait as long as we can.” “Deja vu.” MONTY IS THE ONLY REAL ONE HERE. My first thought when Raven said that line was “oh ffs not this again”. 
I did enjoy the parallel of Monty saving Murphy’s life like Murphy did in 4x13. 
“First we save their lives. Then we let them prove they deserve it.” “The commanders told you that?” “No. Bellamy.” aksqinsks first lemme laugh at Clarke’s skepticism about the flame telling Madi to spare them because that bitch KNOWS that they would never be so noble lmao. Second lemme appreciate my crumbs.
I mean ... I guess we finally know how the radio calls were addressed???
Clarke’s hopeful little smile when Bellamy sat down next to her on the ship was really cute. She looks so guilty and nervous. Eliza raised millions for the Blarkes in this episode.
“THAT’S BRILLIANT!” Me, every single time Bellamy Blake speaks. Thank you for the enthusiasm, Clarkey G.
Bellamy and Clarke are so, so, so awkward in this scene between them but it kind of feels like ... the start of something? Like, they both have made huge mistakes and still found it in them to forgive each other despite it. And now they know how much the other cares for them. I have to hope that it means they’re going to move forward. For real, this time. How they’re supposed to.
“You’re not mad at me for leaving you in Polis?” “The commander told me not to be.” Anyway, Bellamy’s jokes still suck and Clarke still laughs at them so ... some things never change?
“I’ll meet you on the bridge.” That was a weighted fucking look, my dudes. I liked that Bellamy thought to include Clarke. It felt like an apology, in a way. 
Also, WAS THAT THE S5 BELLARKE THEME I HEARD IN THAT SCENE. Cause if so, it’s fucking beautiful.
THAT LOOK BETWEEN THE BLAKES. BOB AND MARIE HAVE SO MUCH CHEMISTRY.
“Cheer up. I wasn’t invited either.” I LOVE A WOMAN
“Your mistake was liking it. Power. It’s the kiss of death. It’s okay. I liked it, too.” Ivana and Marie are both such compelling actresses and HEY LOOK THEY GOT CHEMISTRY. I honestly really enjoyed this short scene between the two of them. They were enemies and yet - no hard feelings. Because the war wasn’t personal to them. We didn’t get many scenes between Charmaine and Octavia this season (or obvious reasons) but I’m intrigued to see if we’ll get more in Season 6 because they work really naturally together. And they seem to understand something about each other (or, at least, Charmaine understands something about Octavia). 
Bellamy and Clarke leading the meeting on the ship ... it felt like old times. I really loved that everyone looked to them for guidance in that scene, despite everything that happened throughout the rest of the season. Gives me hope that we might (finally !) get that co-leading dynamic back in Season 6, especially since they were the two that will be informing the others of Monty and Harper’s discovery. 
Bellamy, in particular, gave me serious Chancellor vibes in that episode. He really stepped into his leadership boots this season, especially near the end there. 
Dear god, please get rid of that goddamn flame as a viable form of leadership. If anyone from Eligius starts following it next season I’m calling B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T. Let Bellamy and Clarke lead, dammit! 
Also ... Zeke looked to Bellamy for permission to speak. Not the Commander. So jot that down, honey’s.
“And Bob’s your uncle.” “I thought you hated that phrase.” “It’s growing on me.” STOP this was cute (and now i’m cryingggggg cause that was Monty and Raven’s last interaction ever)
Clarke taking the bindi off of Madi. 10/10 great scene, let’s burn it now.
Marie in that tank top ... ummmmmmmmmmmmmmm where’s the nearest bucket of holy water
“Kind of like closing the door in the floor.” “Kind of like that.” I liked this callback. Octavia is soft with Bellamy in this scene in a way we haven’t really seen all season. It’s ... oddly nice? Coming from someone who has never cared for Octavia.
“You’re my sister, and a part of me will always love you.” “Does the other part of you still wish I was dead?” “The other part wishes a part of you was. Yeah.”
OKAY. I really liked this scene for a couple of reasons. The first being that I think it clarifies the line from 5x12 where Bellamy tells O that he wishes she was dead A LOT. It basically confirms that Bellamy was referring to the part of Octavia that is blodreina, which doesn’t feel as out of character (whereas Bellamy wishing for his sister’s death did). 
I also really like that, even though Octavia tells Bellamy that she loves him and he tells her that he loves her, too, he doesn’t forgive her. Bellamy and Octavia feel like they are finally on the road to establishing healthy boundaries and burying their dysfunctional relationship in place of building something new. I’ve always wanted this to be textual on the show and I never anticipated that we might actually get it. What they did with the Blakes this season is probably one of my favourite things to come out of the season.
And, as always, Marie and Bob are stunning together. This is a large part of the reason that I’m actually okay with Octavia surviving this season, because they work so damn well together.
I feel like Tree doesn’t get enough credit for his work so I have to mention, again, how beautiful the score was during that scene. He elevates the show so much with his music. In the scene where Clarke and Bellamy woke up, alone, it had such an eery feel to it. I really liked it.
Ngl, my FAVOURITE moment in this entire episode was Bellamy and Clarke’s soft-ass fucking smiles when Bellamy’s pod opened. Like, Clarke’s face when she was watching Bellamy wake up? A BITCH IS IN LOVE. And Bellamy was so soft too ughhhhhhhh Platonic Excellence
“Hey.” “Hey.” HEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
LISTEN. BELLAMY BLAKE DESERVES TO WAKE UP TO CLARKE LIKE THIS EVERY SINGLE MORNING FOR THE REST OF HIS LIFE OKAY? OKAY I’M GLAD WE’RE ON THE SAME PAGE
...
I’m a Big Fan. They’re so fucking cute. That was so domestic. How do I move on?
“Why is it just us?” I literally stood up and yelled “BECAUSE IT’S FATE DUMBASS”
“That’s the way mom and dad wanted it.” I stan my new Bellarke warrior 
“Can I just say that - wow - I mean, I can’t tell you how good it is to finally meet you. Weird, but good. Great, actually.” WHY IS THIS LITERALLY ME WHEN I MET BOB AND ELIZA 
ALSO JORDAN IDOLIZING BELLAMY AND CLARKE? RELATABLE. THIS WOULD 100% BE ME IF I GOT TO MEET THEM
“Who are you?” WHY THE FUCK AM I LAUGHING. Bellamy is so intense and he’s got his deep voice and he’s wearing his intimidation face and him and Clarke are both looking at Jordan like “what the actual fuck is going on” and then there’s Shannon Kook with his adorable fucking smile and his adorable fucking voice and he’s literally a bundle of sunshine and these two people are just glaring at him. BELLAMY, CLARKE, SWEETIES, PLAY NICE THAT IS YOUR GODSON YOU ARE TALKING TO
“My name. Right. I didn’t tell you my name. Sorry. I haven’t met anyone before, so clearly I suck at it.” Reason #2 for Jordan being the most relatable character ever. I, too, am the most horridly awkward human in the world. Step aside, Clarkey G, I think I’ve found my TRUE self-insert on this show.
Monty and Harper are just the loveliest couple on this show. I never anticipated how much I would love them when they hooked up in Season 3. Wow. It was really nice to get all of those shots of them in peacetime, just loving each other, on the ship - especially after how little screentime they got throughout the rest of the season. Also, I swear that Shannon has a mixture between Monty and Harper’s smiles. What is this sorcery?
“Smart like his father.” “Kind like his mum.” CAN YOU HEAR ME CRYING ALL THE WAY DOWN HERE ON EARTH 
(Also ... sounds like my new damn favourite character.)
“Hey Bellamy ... hey Clarke.” WTF MY EYES ARE SWEATING
“Wait ... take care of our boy.” Listen, Jordan. Madi failed me. I’m counting on YOU to parent trap them. Okay? Okay.
But seriously, the fact that Monty and Harper trusted Bellamy and Clarke to take care of their kid, that they wanted it to be them ... is A Lot. I’m excited to see how that goes in Season 6. 
When Jordan opened the window and the new planet appeared and the music started swelling I got fucking shivers. Holy hell. It was so beautiful. TREE WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME 
“Can you see it? Is it beautiful? It is in my dreams. I hope we do better there. I hope Jasper was wrong and we aren’t the problem. I hope your lives there will be as happy as mine has been. Be the good guys. May we meet again.”
GUYS THOSE WORDS FROM MONTY ARE FUCKING EVERYTHING
LIKE, THESE ARE THE EMOTIONAL BEATS THAT THE REST OF SEASON 5 HAS BEEN MISSING
This is honestly the first real time where I’ve had hope that they might actually break the cycle. That they might build something new. Its the end of an era, but it feels like the start of something new. I genuinely cannot predict what is going to happen on that planet. Which is a new feeling. And I like it.
And of fucking course it would be Monty and Jasper (and Harper) who are responsible for breaking that cycle. Of course. This is the best thing they could have done with Jasper’s memory, is sending Monty on this mission to do better for the rest of humanity. And this is the best send-off I ever could have asked for for any character. Monty and Harper have been with us since the beginning. It just feels right that they should get this ending, that they should be the ones who usher in the next generation of The 100. Like. Wow. I’m speechless.
Also, that Bellarke side hug was er nice. That’s the most domestic they have ever looked. Idc. Bellamy staring at the Earth alone on the Ark in 4x13 and 5x01 vs him staring at the new planet with Clarke at his side is the ONLY parallel I claim.
The final shot of them through the window with the planet reflected around them was STUNNING. Honest to god the most beautiful shot I think this show has ever done. 
“End Book One” on Bellamy and Clarke, together, staring at the new world and the new hope they will deliver to their people. Maybe that’s what the first five seasons were really about. Bringing them to this place, where they are staring at the future - side by side, as a unit, ready to face whatever comes next.
Fuck. 
I have to say that I enjoyed the second half of that episode way more than the first half. I feel like it had a lot of emotional beats that I really wanted to see throughout the season (that we just weren’t getting) and it also teed up a lot for the next season. I’m so intrigued by what they’re going to find down on that planet, and I’m excited for the writers to really break the cycle and build something new - hopefully something that involves more character moments. 
I still haven’t decided if I’m going to continue with this series in Season 6, but stay tuned! I hope you enjoyed reading all of my recaps throughout this season. It’s been a ride ahaha. See ya on the other side, folks. 
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