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#anyways ily John but you Are a silly man
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looking over my John Was Bi doc (yes, I have a John Was Bi doc) again and I just noticed this and it just makes me Laugh A Little:
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Three people John apparently told about this.
Only for this:
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Fuck knows what was said.
Boy that was YOU! 😭😭😭
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musicprincess1990 · 3 years
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The Best of Me - for ILY Anniversary 2021
This is inspired by the song by The Starting Line.  I was listening to my #TeenYears playlist (yes, that’s the title I picked, sue me), and I noticed the album cover featured the words, “Say it like you mean it.”  Um, hello TFP vibes!  And then I started the song over, paying attention to the lyrics, and BOOM!  A fic was born!  Starts out with a bit of post-TRF pining, leading up to a TFP finish. And it’s a long one, so catch the whole story below the cut.
Happy Sherlolliversary, everyone!  😘
*
Here we lay again, on two separate beds
Riding phone lines to meet a familiar voice
And pictures drawn from memory.
*
It started after the fall… some months later, in the midst of yet another doomed-to-fail relationship with some other not-him bloke.  Molly didn’t know why she seemed to measure time both by her own failed relationships, and by his major life events, but there you go.  After a ten-hour shift, a disappointing date, and an extra glass of wine, she was more than ready to pack it in for the night.
She’d only just hit the mattress when her phone buzzed, and she whimpered in dismay, assuming it would be Mike needing her for a last-minute post-mortem.  She considered ignoring it and claiming she’d been asleep, when a second text sounded. With a sigh, she rolled onto her side and unlocked her phone.  It wasn’t Mike after all, but two messages from a blocked number.  Again, she thought about ignoring them, not keen on starting a conversation with a stranger, when a third text came through, and she began to wonder… Sitting upright, she tapped on the notification and opened her messages, her heart leaping to her throat as she read:
IN A SAFE HOUSE IN SARAJEVO.  
COULD DO WITH A FRIENDLY VOICE.
MOLLY?
It had to be him… it just had to be!  No one else she knew had any need for a “safe house.” And besides that, no one else would have been so cryptic, so confusing.  Sherlock Holmes never talked about his feelings, in fact, half the time he pretended not to have any.  This was bordering on soul-baring for him!  Why?  Why now?  Why her?  Well, she supposed it the fact that the rest of his friends thought he was dead might have something to do with it.  Even so, what had happened to make him seek her out like this?
A fourth text came through, interrupting her thoughts.
MAY I CALL YOU?
Sherlock Holmes, asking for permission?  Now she’d well and truly seen everything!  Anxious and delighted and terrified all at once, she quickly tapped out a reply in the affirmative, and waited.  It couldn’t have been more than ten seconds before her phone lit up with the incoming call.  In her haste to answer it, she dropped the silly thing on the floor, swearing loudly as she flopped onto her stomach to reach for it.  And, of course, to her embarrassment, the line was connected, meaning he heard it all.  Molly pressed the phone to her ear and whispered, “Sherlock?”
A loud exhale, and then a familiar voice, “Hello, Molly.”
She let out a watery laugh.  “Oh, my God, it’s you!  How are you? Oh, God, stupid question—”
“Molly, it’s fine,” he cut her off.  “I am… as well as can be expected.”
Her brow creased with worry.  “Are you okay?  I mean, is it… going well?”
A beat of silence.  “As well as can be expected,” he repeated.
Clearly, she was not going to get a wealth of information from him on that front.  Not that she was certain she wanted all the gory details—knowing who he was dealing with, “gory” would most definitely be the right word.  Still, he had instigated this phone call, she wouldn’t let him get away with perfunctory answers.  Shifting a bit so that she was leaning against the headboard, she asked, “What made you decide to phone me?”
“You weren’t answering your texts.  Figured you had gone into shock.”
She chewed on her lip a moment.  “Well… you’re not wrong.  It did surprise me.”
“Yeeeesss, I’d gathered that,” he drawled in that posh, pompous tone of voice she never thought she would come to miss.
“Truth be told, it wasn’t just the fact that you texted that came as a surprise, it’s what was in the text.”  She paused here, waiting to see how he would respond.  When he said nothing, she went on, “I suppose even the great Sherlock Holmes needs to phone a friend once in a while.”
“Don’t do that,” he said abruptly.  “I’m not ‘the great Sherlock Holmes’ now, am I?  I’m just…” he hesitated for a moment, “…just Sherlock.”
Molly’s breath came out in a whoosh.  So that was why.  Just like she had before, when he looked sad, she saw him clear as day… even if she couldn’t physically see him.  This mission, this seemingly insurmountable task, she couldn’t even imagine how difficult it must be.  It had to be taxing, even for Sherlock, who always seemed so detached from the situations. But deep down, he was still a man, he still felt things, and he still needed friends.
“Molly?”
His tone was soft, but filled with anxiety, and she realized she’d been silent for some time.  She put on a smile, making sure he would hear it in her voice, and whispered, “I’m here, Sherlock.  What do you need?”
A quiet laugh sounded on the other end of the line, followed by a one-word answer: “You.”
*
*
We turn our music down, and we whisper,
“Say what you're thinking right now.”
Tell me what you thought about
When you were gone and so alone.
Sherlock’s phone calls became something of a regular thing after that. Whenever he felt a little too human, or when he didn’t feel human enough.  Molly was happy to act as his anchor to his old life, to keep him afloat when he could easily drown in the work, the pain, the loneliness.  Even when being his anchor often meant being woken up in the middle of the night.
She never asked him to explicitly talk about his thoughts and feelings, knowing what a minefield that conversation would be, but she always asked what he was doing, usually regarding his mission. That was familiar territory for him, talking over the details of a case, discussing the possibilities and bouncing ideas off another person.  It was this familiarity, she thought, that most soothed him, reminded him of home.
These calls varied in frequency and length over the years, but they always came.  Through the horrors he faced in dismantling Moriarty’s network, through her engagement to Tom, through his four-minute exile (ooh, she’d had some choice words for him about that), and though Mary’s tragic death.
He called her almost daily after that.  She wasn’t entirely sure he really wanted to hear her voice, or if, while John was being a git and ostracizing him, any friendly voice would do. She decided not to care, and to just be there for him anyway.
One call in particular stood out to her, the night of his birthday. They’d gone for cake earlier in the day, and he’d been pleasant enough, but awfully silent.  John had seemed almost back to his normal self, and Rosie was an adorable bundle of energy, effectively distracting all three adults from their own loneliness.
That night, she returned with Sherlock to Baker Street, for the “night shift.”  After a few minutes spent scrolling silently through his emails, he announced he was going to bed.  Molly waited a bit before shuffling up the stairs into John’s old room, which had been converted into a guest-room-slash-laboratory.  The door was left open in case Sherlock started puttering about in the middle of the night, she would hear him and be down to help him, if needed.
Molly had just settled onto the bed when her phone rang, and Sherlock’s name appeared.
What?
“Sherlock?” she answered hesitantly.
“I realize you’re just upstairs, and I could easily have gone up there or had you come down here, but this seemed a bit more…”
A little smile tugged at her lips.  “Familiar?”
He exhaled slowly.  “Yes.”
“It’s okay,” she assured him.  “I don’t mind.”
“Thank you, Molly.  For everything.”
*
*
Jumping to conclusions
Made me fall away from you;
I'm so glad that the truth
Has brought back together me and you.
“What is she doing?”
“She’s making tea.”
“Yes, but why isn’t she answering her phone?”
“You never answer your phone.”
“Yes, but it’s me calling…”
*
“If it’s true, just say it anyway.”
“You bastard.”
“Say it anyway.”
“You say it.  Go on, you say it first… Say it.  Say it like you mean it.”
“I-I… I love you.”
*
Molly dropped her phone as the line went dead, then slid to the floor as sobs wracked her entire body.  She didn’t… she couldn’t begin to think… why had he asked that of her? After all the years he’d known her, all the time he’d been calling her out of the blue… She’d never once asked him to…
Her stomach lurched, and she scrambled up to her feet just in time to vomit into the sink.  Her body felt hot and cold and shivery and aching all at once.  Funny, the scientist in her thought, how a broken heart can have noticeable physiological effects on a person. She was in fact ill, bit of a cold, but it was that horrible conversation, not a silly little virus, that had made her stomach decide to violently expel its contents.
That wasn’t the worst of it, though.  No, the worst part was finding an old letter Sherlock had written, sometime during his absence from London, near the end.  She remembered getting it in the post, and quickly shoving it into a safe, secret place, where Tom wouldn’t find it.  He was at her flat no more than five minutes later, picking her up for a date. He proposed to her that night, and she completely forgot about the letter… until today.  She’d found it while rooting around her cupboards, looking for her favorite citrus tea, the one she always made whenever she felt ill. Its contents had nearly shocked her cold right out of her system.
Dear Molly,
I don’t know if this letter will reach you. There are so many unknowns at the moment.  I don’t even fully know why I’m writing.  I simply wished to express my gratitude for everything you have done for me.  I know that I have caused you pain many times, and in all probability, I will do so again.  And yet, after seeing the absolute worst of me, you are still my friend.  That fact baffles me more than any other mystery I have encountered.
When I return, yours is among the first faces I look forward to seeing again.  I wish I could offer an estimated time frame, but that is one of the many unknowns I now face.  But the one thing that I know is certain, the one thing I can cling to, is that you are, and always will be, a dear friend.  You matter more to me than you realize, Molly Hooper.
Love,
Sherlock
Tears had welled in her eyes, and anger pulsed in her veins, boiling her blood with every word.  Anger toward him, for writing such a letter, instead of calling her.  It was cowardly, no matter how lovely the letter was (dear God, was it lovely!), and when he returned just a few months later, he said nothing.  He gave no indication that he even remembered the letter, or the fact that he’d written it!  Why?
Because you were engaged, a traitorous voice whispered. And then her anger shifted, now aimed toward herself.
If she had read the letter before Tom proposed that night… she would have said no.
And then she was angry with him again, for not fighting for her, not saying what was clearly visible between every word on every line of that damned letter.
He loved her.
Or so she had thought.
After that phone call… she couldn’t be sure of anything.  If he really loved her, how could he do this to her?  Forget making her say the words, as impossible as that felt, how could he treat it all like an experiment? Treat her like an experiment?  Her anger and her desperation battled through the entire conversation, with anger eventually winning out, though it expressed itself with an eerie calmness.
You say it first.
Well, he had.  But only because she’d told him to.
God knew he’d never have said it otherwise.
Molly trudged into the bathroom and brushed her teeth, washing away the sour taste in her mouth.  She never had finished making her tea, but she was too exhausted to even contemplate remaining upright for another minute longer than necessary.  Instead, she went straight into her bedroom and collapsed onto the bed, falling quickly into a fitful sleep.
*
The knock on her door startled her awake, and somehow she knew exactly who it was, even before his voice followed the pounding, begging her to let him in.  She scowled in the direction of her door, rolled onto her other side, and smashed her pillow over her ear.  Eventually, one of her neighbors would complain, maybe even call the police. That, or he’d pick the lock… and if he did, she’d call the police.  Probably Greg, oooh, he’d love that!  There wouldn’t be any real consequences—big brother Mycroft had far too much pull for that—but it would be humiliating for Sherlock.  Served him right, after he humiliated her.
The pounding and the shouting stopped suddenly, and she foolishly let herself believe he’d finally gone.  But a moment later, her phone chimed with an incoming text.  Then another, and then another after that.  Equal parts annoyed and curious, Molly finally sat up and grabbed her phone to read the idiot’s texts.
PLEASE LET ME IN.  LET ME SAY IT AGAIN.
I DON’T WANT TO DO IT OVER TEXT.  YOU DESERVE BETTER THAN THAT.
PLEASE, MOLLY.
Unless…
Molly’s head spun by the end of the third text.  Say it again?  Did he mean…?  Oh, of course he meant that, what else could he be talking about?  But why the hell did he need to say it again?  Wasn’t once—well, twice—enough torture for one night?
A fourth text lit up her phone.
IF YOU WON’T LET ME IN, WILL YOU AT LEAST LET ME CALL YOU?
She almost laughed.  Answering his call was what got her into this mess, wasn’t it?  And yet, against her better judgment, that cursed curiosity forced her to type out a reply.
OK.
*
Sherlock sighed at the response, his hand shaking as he pressed the phone to his ear, listening to the dial tone.  He ran through a thousand opening sentences in his head in the time it took for her to answer the call, and the moment he heard her voice, forgot every single one of them.
“What do you want, Sherlock?”
Her voice was raw, probably from crying, and oh, how he hated himself for doing that to her.  But broken as it was, her voice was the most beautiful thing he’d ever heard.
“You,” he replied, his own voice matching hers.  “Always you.”
She sobbed, and the sound went straight to his heart, piercing it, shattering it.  “Then why—” she was interrupted by another sob, “—how could you—”
“I’ll tell you everything,” he said quickly.  “Everything you need to know, but not like this.  For now, I just need to say one thing.”  Sherlock drew in a breath, bracing himself.  “I love you, Molly.  I’ve loved you all along, before I even realized it.  I don’t know if… there was a letter I sent, but it must have gotten lost… I should have said it when I came back, but when I saw that ring on your finger…”  He swallowed. “I thought I’d lost my chance, that you weren’t in love with me anymore, that—”
The door opened, and there she stood, still wearing that ridiculous jumper, eyes filled with tears, and holding a piece of paper in her hand.  The letter.  His hand dropped to his side, phone still in hand, staring in wonder and confusion.
“I hadn’t read it,” she explained in a small voice.  “Not until today.  That’s… part of why it wasn’t a good day.  I’d gotten it the day Tom proposed.  Right before he picked me up.  I panicked and shoved it in the cupboard where he wouldn’t find it.  He never touched the cupboards, always left it to me to cook or make tea or… anyway,” she finished lamely.
“You didn’t read it?”
Molly shook her head, gnawing on her lower lip.  “I wish I had.  I wouldn’t have gotten engaged.”
“I am so sorry, Molly.”  His eyes fell shut against the pricking of even more tears.  “I should have told you every day, with every phone call…”
“I’m sorry, too,” she said, prompting him to open his eyes.  “I’m sorry for letting my anger get the better of me.”
He gave her a tentative smile.  “Understandable, considering the circumstances.  I tend to bring out the worst in everybody.”  To his delight, she laughed, and his heart lightened at the sound. In a more serious voice, he added, “You, however, bring out the best in everyone… including me.”
Molly went still, and Sherlock worried he’d somehow hurt her again, until she suddenly sprang at him and wrapped her arms around his middle, pressing her face against his chest.  Warmth erupted along his skin where she touched him, and his arms found his way around her, clinging to her, locking her against him.  He rested his chin atop her head, eyes squeezed shut to fight back the now-constant threat of tears.  Good Lord, he was a sop now…
Well.  If it meant Molly would continue hugging him like this, he’d be whatever she wanted him to be.
“You smell like algae,” she commented, her voice muffled against his shirt.
He must have been in shock, or otherwise delirious, for at her words, he burst out laughing.  Fortunately, Molly joined him, leaning back her head and grinning wildly.  “I suppose there’s a story that goes with that?”
“Quite a long one,” he nodded.  “And not a very pleasant one.”
Molly seemed to consider this, then gave a slight hitch of her shoulders.  “Later,” she said.  “I think a bath and a good night’s sleep are in order.”  She took his hand and led him inside, and Sherlock followed, happily leaving the worst behind them.  There was still much to say—so many words unsaid, his mind quoted at him—but for now… he just wanted to be with her.
Finally.
*
*
The worst is over,
You can have the best of me.
God, that took forever… I’ll be honest, this is still open to editing and rewriting.  There are a lot of things I want to add to it.  Hell, maybe I’ll even add a second chapter.  I don’t know.  But this song, OMG!!  Go look it up, listen to the rest of the lyrics.  ALL THE SHERLOLLY FEELS!!  Thanks for reading!
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vegetalass · 4 years
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can i get uhh, the boys dating a dominant woman/person for the first time 👁👁 can be nsfw or not, your choice! if it’s silly you don’t have to fill it- btw i love ur your writing muah
👁👁 Wow…… Anon, you’re my best friend now and ily… Dominant HCs unlock my sharingan tbh… but my taste is actually really particular and not very mainstream so i really hope that this is what you had in mind and is suitable! Hopefully this is nsfw-enough for you!! 
18+!!!
sorry everyone because i went crazy again and this is super…. Long…..
Lowkey this is me @ myself rn tho for finishing this (although tell me why this sounds like the way abigail talks to john LMFAOOO) 
Arthur 
Despite being the biggest yes-man on the planet, he’s not really used to being considered the “submissive” one in any relationship
He’s big and tough looking, so anyone who can get up in his face and boss him around is pretty commendable in his eyes
Especially if it’s a romantic partner
It’s a little awkward at first because he’s so used to being the one providing for everyone, that being taken care of, or even just having his needs thought about, really makes him 🥺😳
To him, what’s attractive about having a dominant partner is partially just knowing that he doesn’t have to hide anything about himself
You WANT him to be himself, and will call him out when he’s not
In a way, he also honestly doesn’t mind not having to be there for you 24/7
That isn’t to say he’s not prepared to fight for and protect you, but knowing that you’ll stand by his side and always tell him how you really feel brings him a great deal of comfort 
If you fight with him about joining him for rides, bounties or chores for Dutch... 
Not only does it make the trips easier, but it also starts making the sex better
Basically... AFTER WORK SEX!!
(Sorry mom, please forgive me) 
And while it doesn’t happen at first... Once you let the pet names start slipping, he’s officially a goner 
The more intense they are, the better 
Sweetie, Baby, Sugar, Pookie, etc. all have him melting in a puddle 
Especially if you’re nonchalant about it and pretend not to notice what it does to him 
All soft smiles and “Arthur, Baby, tell me where you left Charles’ bow?” 
Yes, he has to pass away 
(Not really though because we already lost him once) 
Once you start sharing a tent/cot/bed.... You have to be the big spoon 
People might disagree with this… But he is just in love with you trying to wrap both your arms around him and the way you throw your leg over his hip
Cuddle him like a teddy bear and squish his face in your chest PLEASE
It makes him feel loved and needed… And frankly… He deserves it
(I actually have this down as inspiration for a fic, but…) I just imagine your relationship being one where you’re the one who makes him take care of himself, where you’re always trying to make sure he’s healthy and you do all the shopping for him and you’re the one to pick out all his new clothes.... And you make him stand still for you as you hold them all up to his chest to make sure they fit him right 
And he squirms when you touch him
He just feels good knowing that people see him being loved and getting taken care of
Basically, as long as it’s genuine, just treat him like your baby and he’s yours forever
John 
HOOO BOY
We already know this guy likes dominant people (*cough* Abigail *cough*)... But I really can’t lie to y’all… He’s a simp
The Absolute King of Simps 
At the beginning of your relationship, just as you’re getting serious and he’s begging to realize you aren’t namby-pamby, you could say anything to him and he’d just turn into a huge blushing fool 
Stuttering and everything when you ask him for things or for his help
Kisses are all opened-eyed, intense, and focused
He brings you some wildflowers that he found laying around and when you reach out to try to kiss him in thanks... 
You guessed it, he passes away 
Once you get more comfortable with each other, if you start standing up to Abigail on his behalf... He’d do anything for you 
Not that he doesn’t care for Abigail, but it’s easier when he has backup and someone around who doesn’t tell him that he’s shitty all the time
Watching you get annoyed when Abigail says something mean makes him feel better
Before this all started, though, he has to admit that he did have a little fun trying to have secret sex with you before you came out as a couple 
Loves it when you start toying with his clothes when he’s around.... 
Do things like stick your hands in his pockets or hold onto his suspenders or belt loops as he’s walking or passing you by 
That thing you sometimes see old married couples do when one has their arms wrapped around the other while they’re doing something boring and mundane like sitting around 
Um... Do that to him
Since he’s bad with expressing himself and has been verbally brutalized by Abigail on more than one occasion, his favorite thing is really just physical contact... 
Especially if you aren’t shy about it 
Okay I’m gonna day something controversial.... Straddle him... thanks and goodnight everybody
“John?” You call to him, though it’s more of a call for attention than a question, “Kiss me.” 
Lowkey this shit has me so fucked up bro 
Charles 
When he first realizes he’s pursuing someone more dominant than him, he’s a little bit… at a loss
He was raised a respectable gentleman, always taught to treat his partners delicately, so when he starts dating someone so bold and unafraid, it’s a little bit confusing to him
That’s not to say he doesn’t like it… but it’s honestly just unusual that he’s not exactly intimidating to you 
Most people find him quite large and overpowering, and never hesitate to question his skills as a natural leader... so having someone around him who takes the reigns from him ends up being a nice change
He just never really knew there was another option for him
This applies to sex, too, as he highkey enjoys sitting back and letting you take charge and pamper him 
He also ends up becoming really appreciative of the fact that you never hesitate to fight alongside him or take over what he’s doing
If Dutch ever sends you on a mission together… it’s over for anyone who gets in your way
He’s absolutely in love with the way you’re able to handle yourself around big tough guys 
And if you have a sharp tongue, that’s even better
The more headstrong and passionate about your beliefs you are, the better, basically
Literally power couple vibes only
Even if you just started dating, if you say anything mean to Micah… he’s going to get a boner 
Even just seeing you fight with people, verbally or physically, is also a turn on
Not even bothered if anyone tries to clown for being into someone dominant 
Cue him: *thinking about all the times you’ve had bomb ass sex* *sunglasses emoji*
Your sex life is basically a Megan Thee Stallion song 
Sorry, I don’t make the rules 
Lowkey if you ever told him to shut up or be quiet during an argument or sex he’d be 100000000x more in love with you
As long as you always have a mutual respect for one another and others, he’s gucci with practically anything else
Micah 
Knowing what we know about Micah… This one is a little bit tough
In the beginning, despite his obvious attraction, he will most likely try to fight with you and try to put you “back in your place”
Obviously, this absolutely does not work and he loses the fight every time 
But once his anger turns into sexual attraction... It feels good to just give up
It’s definitely kind of a sore subject for him, at first
Not that he doesn’t want to be with you, but he’s afraid of being seen as weak after talking all his big shit 
Even after you start dating, it takes awhile for him to truly calm down 
His eventual submission is partially based on the fact that he doesn’t want people to think he’s a bad boyfriend 
And the line is already very thin
Honestly, just pull your big ol’ puppy dog eyes on him (and/or threaten to leave him) and he’ll just sigh and go along with whatever you want
He’s both surprised and unsurprised that it becomes such that he has to “earn” any affection from you 
You don’t really express this outright, but you both know it’s all deliberate
He begins to like the feeling of giving in and making you happy, and though it takes him awhile to get used to, he definitely starts to like pleasing you (and yes, in every single way), as well
It’s an accomplishment that he can actually take pride in
Especially since you started withholding affection from him when he gets a little too high on his horse 
Knowing you’re pleased with him and seeing you happy, along with the kisses (and… more) he knows he’ll receive later, is the reward in and of itself
Lowkey just proud of the fact that he can keep a fighter happy 
Honestly, I’m just imagining him being all grumpy about having to do something for you, but still doing it anyway 
“But Micah, I thought you wanted to make me happy?” Or “Awe, Micah, don’t make me sad…” 
He’s like “Smh, fuck” because you know he can’t resist when you’re being s✨a✨s✨s✨y
If you ever call him Daddy to tease him, he 100% will call you Mommy
Dutch  
Please pussy whip this dude, PLEASE
He literally deserves nothing less
He’s so used to being with docile and private girls that the attraction to you is not only needed, but also very natural 
He notices it at first by the way you stare at him
It’s a curious look, not exactly mean, but not exactly kind either
As we know, he doesn’t really like it when people challenge his ideas, but for some reason, whenever it comes to you… He’s willing to lend an ear to hear what you have to say 
That being said, most of the time it’s just to tell him to stop picking on Arthur or siding with Micah (because what else would it be about? 🤡)
Micah gets pissy about this and tries to tell Dutch to stop listening to you, but you just tell just tell him off, too 
Dutch is always surprised that he finds this attractive
Honestly, being with someone who he considers to be on the same level as him is very alluring 
The fact that you value your own opinions as much as he values his… 
It’s spicy, basically
Most of the time, you have to force him to give you affection 
Not by begging, but by demanding 
Hold out your hand until he holds it, or strip in a place where he can see you but can’t touch
(Tie him up *cough*) 
And when he’s standing around camp, busy doing work or talking to people, hug him from behind, drape yourself on him, or make a place for yourself on his lap… ANYTHING to distract him and to get what you deserve
It drives him crazy, but at the same time, he can’t resist a lil brat like that
That being said…at the same time, he is also someone who needs to earn affection from you
He doesn’t realize this, but you are just as stubborn as he is, and as soon as he realizes he’s been ignoring you for too long and you’ve stopped giving him any attention… WHEW!
He will really start acting like a clown just to get you to touch him again
Especially if he sees you pretending to twirl your hair around the other boys in camp 
Eventually, he discovers he needs to beg for you 
Give you things, call you sweet names, massage you, take you on trips out of camp, have Pearson give you extras... Anything and everything to show you that he’s sorry
It works… eventually… and when you’re finally together… unbutton his clothes and pull his hair to tell him how he makes you feel
 Steal the cigar from straight out of his mouth and start to smoke it... See what he lets you do to him later
Turned on by the fact that he thinks you need him and he needs you, but at the same time, definitely down to be a cuck if you ask
It takes a while, but he turns into a total “Yea, Dear” and “Anything for you” type eventually
Unfortunately, though he likes praise, it’s not fun to give it to him simply because he already thinks he’s so great
No you’re not, King, I promise...
Kieran 
God, it’s really not hard to be the dominant one with him
He’s used to being told what to do, so when he starts noticing his attraction to you, there’s no surprise why
That being said, it’s definitely more of a gentle dominance he finds himself drawn to 
While his general efforts at existing often go unnoticed by most, it’s the praise you give him that really gets him the most in the beginning
Later, that evolves into being praised in the bedroom… But that’s a story for another time *winky face* 
All I have to say… Handjobs 
Also… edge him
Okay bye now for real 
It’s very likely you’ll have to start the relationship off slow, but before you know it, he’ll be wrapped around your finger
That being said, do not abuse this power *insert gun emoji* 
Of course he needs to be bossed around, but it has to be with good intentions 
“Kieran, Sweetie, would you mind taking my horse out today?” And “Kieran, could you please get the washing bins set up for me?” AND “Kieran, would you mind grabbing something for me, babe?” 
The list goes on and on and on... and yet he is happy to do it all for you 
It’s all in the way you whine his name
Because yes, you got him. 
Also, please tease him
While he is a pretty shy about it, he has to admit he loves that the way you poke fun at him makes his heart beat fast
“Aw, Kieran, don’t be shy!” And “You like that, huh?” 
Initiate lots of PDA, since he absolutely loves it but is too shy to do it himself
Kiss him on the cheek, drag him around by the arm, play with his hair, ANYTHING, and he’s putty in your hands
Flash him in public…………....
Praise Jesus
YES, HE IS THE LITTLE SPOON!
Javier
Javier thinks very highly of himself, so meeting and falling for someone dominant is actually very surprising to him
This is partially due to the fact that because he thinks so highly of himself, he’s never visualized his relationship as anything other than with him as the top
Once your relationship takes off, however, he realizes that he actually doesn’t mind being the one who gets taken care of
He is quite spoiled, after all
That being said, he is probably very private about the whole thing, mostly because he’d be the most sensitive about getting teased for being “submissive”
Once the honeymoon phase is over, though, it’s a lot easier to treat him the way you want to 
Wear clothes that belong to him, especially clothes that he likes
Not only does he think this is extremely sexy, but it also means that he has a harder time choosing his own outfits
Plus, he loves a good strip tease… 
Dodge him when he tries to kiss you or cover his lips with your fingers
Then tease him when he thinks you’re done and keeps trying to give you affection
The best way to get him to pay attention to you is by ignoring him 
It’s not as severe or as serious as it with Dutch, but pretending you don’t see him when he’s showing off or talking to you immediately gets you whatever you want
It’s all in good fun, though 
P u l l  h i s  h a i r
ESPECIALLY if you’re trying to get something from/out of him
Highkey, this dude loves cuddles
They’re one of the few things he’s open about begging for
You can tease him for this, but as long as you give in and just… hold him… he’s a very happy boy
 Big fan of spooning but also of just being tangled up with you in any which way… 
It doesn’t matter if he’s laying on you or you’re laying on him
Both are good
Lowkey... do nasty things to him at the campfire
It doesn’t even have to be that nasty, even just putting your hand on his inner thigh or up his shirt is enough to Put Him on High Alert
Pinch him...
Just… pinch him, please. 
He likes it
Despite enjoying your dominance, at the end of the day, he doesn’t mind it if you get a little bratty and demanding sometimes, too 
Especially in the bedroom *winky face* 
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hiimsociallyawkward · 3 years
Text
the wicked day
hey guys. i'm back with my random and annoying merlin thoughts. i should be studying for my bio quiz, but yk- i don't want to :,) love you @lady-ofmagic-andstars✨enjoy✨
literally every time i'm going watching i'm going to comment on john hurt that says young man instead of young boy
it's so subtle but wow. thanks i didn't need to be hurt so early on in the episode
i know i know i'm basically a child but this is so exciting
merlin is so cute
aw no not arthur being pouty abt his big birthday
I LOVE THE 'i heard that' thing so much. i love it i love it
off topic, but i love knife throwing. i've always thought that if i had to choose a weapon that's not a gun, i'd choose knifes. swords? maces? crossbows? sure. but knives?? that's where it's really at
i love arthur not wanting to overburden their citizens
ok uther? i hate him
but here? i love him
he's a good dad here. remembering arthur's birthday? that's so sweet. uther in season 4 is the only time i semi like him
AW ARTHUR AND UTHER AT DINNER
i love them
off topic but i like that arthur is wearing his 'every day' clothes, jacket and a tunic under his cape. that's it. the knights are all wearing his garb but arthur is just wearing his 'regular clothes'
hehe gwen being nervous about arthur being on the wheel is so sweet
idk why but i always get nervous at that last knife.
like of COURSe i know he's not going to get hit but it's scary.
the 'not wearing any trousers' thing omg. bbc really decided to do that
i wish we had more of this parental dynamic of arthur and uther
dam alright arthur. being out of it but still being in it enough to see the guy in the reflection? i stan
SKLFJASLDFJA uther fighting to protect arthur
literally me through his whole scene going 'oh jeez oh jeez oh jeez' on repeat.
so off topic but i kind of like the hairstyle they have for most of the guys in this show?? idk is that weird
oh jeez oh jeez oh jeez uther dying
like, i HATe him. i've been waiting for this since season 1 but this scene makes me sad
ok i don't remember the last episode of merlin so i forget what arthur says when he's dying in merlin's arms??
it's something like 'hold me' right? i feel like that has the same energy as 'stay with me' so while i can't exactly say this is sort of parallel, it's sort of parallel?
i mean, ok 1. dying in someone else's arms. 2. dying in the arms of someone you love? romantically, platonically, familial? doesn't matter. both uther and arthur died in the arms of someone they loved. 3. i'm just gonna say 'hold me' and 'stay with me' have the SAME energy, so if no one has called semi-parallels, i'm calling semi-parallels
bradley's single tear
stfu agarvaine. i'm serious. legit everytime he shows up i wanna pow pow pow him
legit. agaravaine needs to get away from morgana.
DO NOT GRAB HER ARM MISTER. LET GO OF HER
I DON'T CARE THAT YOU'RE SECRETLY IN LOVE WITH HER. LET GO OF HER RN
i've said it once and i'll say it again, i love gwen
not to romanticize death or anything but i like candle light vigils.
ok maybe slightly symbolic but probably not? ok actually i think it is, not to toot my own horn but this is also just really straightforward too.
arthur wearing 'street garb' and his 'knight stuff' sort of differentiates between 'arthur' and 'prince arthur'. the scene where merlin and arthur are looking over the vigil and merlin's talking about how there's nothing that can be done, and arthur mentions using magic, i may be off about this but i feel like he's speaking more from prince arthur rather than arthur, uther is my father.
like of course arthur's hurting, everyone knows he's hurting. but idk. i feel like he feels like he's not ready to be king. he needs more time, and he can't be king yet. so therefore, prince arthur is talking about needing to save their king.
gaius and merlin are both right here. idk what else to say.
wow merlin 'you can't stop me' love that
jeez 'maybe this is my chance to change that' little do you know what's happening soon merlin.
oh shoot.
arthur asking merlin if he would use magic to save his father? i'm just thinking back to merlin crying, but not crying over balinor because he couldn't tell arthur, and merlin having to mourn his father in secret. vs. arthur, asking merlin for advice. sharing all his worries and insecurities with gwen. begging gaius to do something more for his father. this just makes me so sad
arthur TRUSTING merlin. with everything. taking merlin's opinion on things and aw
this is dumb but tbh i really like merlin's outfit. like tbh i think i dress in the same sort of style, just ✨modern✨ sadly, no neckerchief for me but i do have a necklace that says 'heather' despite my name being 'ashley'. ily conan gray
ugh. arthur calling merlin a coward but also calling him brave?? you need to pick a side arthur
LMAO ARTHUR STOP THINKING ABOUT WATCHING MERLIN PEE
bruh arthur breaking the vase. it's so dumb but merlin referring to the vase over and over actually makes me chuckle
ok merlin going 'you have come to kill me?' reminds me of another show but i can't remember but i thought i'd put it out here anyways
oh shoot i just realized/remember that uther got stabbed on arthur's birthday. hell of a gift am i right 😭
hehe arthur 'sweeping' with the broom. silly goose
dragoon sounds so vulnerable asking for the right to use magic freely
i love you arthur. this scene, i'm like YES. arthur i love him
i love the saying 'my word'. like, i don't want people to promise me anything anymore. i want them to give me their word.
HAHA THIS IS SO DUMB. MERLIN SAYING 'QUESTIONS. SO MANY QUESTIONS'. I LITERALLY SAY IT WITH THE SHOW EVERY TIME. WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME
aw arthur just sitting there with the cup and trying not to break it HAHA he's so sweet. slightly scared after that vase yk what i mean
ok i don't like morgana and everything but that necklace? that's a stroke of genius. yes girl. make up the plan as you go along
frick you agarvaine. do not scare gwen you PERV
jeez agarvainewas SO rude putting that necklace onto uther. like yes, ik you don't like him but STILL. that's just rude
i'm going to start calling people toads now
hehe arthur closing his door and merlin being right there. it's not necessarily a trope but it totally is and i love it
ah yes. merlin and the tavern. i feel like it's been referred to before but it's still funny.
ok ik arthur carrying merlin is there for kicks for the kids but i laughed anyways
apparently i have the humor of a 10 year old
this is really dumb but the scene with arthur and the two guards. i'm just thinking 'how tall are these guards'. ofc ik that the staging/perception could be doing something that might be making arthur look shorter, but my first reaction was 'bradley is 6' just how tall are these guards??'
merlin's speech about magic makes me sad
aw 'i hope, one day, that you'll see me in a different light'
dragoon has the same effect on arthur as merlin does
uther waking up 😭
AW. UTHER'S LITTLE SIGH AND THEN 'ARTHUR' BREAK MY HEART COVEY. BREAK IT A THOUSAND TIMES.
they're both so happy. this makes me so sad now. oh jeez. oh jeez. oh jeez
oh jeez oh jeez merlin's expression. AW merlin gave arthur his word. oh jeez this is very stressful and i'm only watching this
ok obviously. merlin doesn't want to see arthur in pain. but ALSO this was merlin's chance to change things once and for all. and now uther is dead. #no liam just payne
arthur's face post crying. skf;aldjfa;ldk AW
frick you agarvaine. literally die. i can't wait for merlin to kill you
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i think this scene is pretty. the light on the left and the dark on the right? ok actually, i'm going to be making an off base comparison now because that's all i do.
i'm remembering this post i saw on here and it was like, arthur uther and morgana in the throne room. in order of the way they sit in the throne room, first it's arthur, uther, and then morgana
well. the really dumb and off base comparison here is the 'light' goodness of arthur and the 'dark' evil of morgana being mirrored in the picture above.
'light', bravery, doing what's right- being on the left. 'dark', evil, power on the right- and arthur in the middle of it, king
like i said, it's a dumb off base comparison, but at least the picture is pretty
oh jeez this scene
my heart breaks for both of them
merlin not being able to form a sentence at first.
😭😭😭😭 arthur please. you're breaking everyone's heart right now
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you already knew i had to include this scene
arthur walking in there all alone
oh jeez he's all alone
dumb parallel number 2. arthur walking into the throne room with uther, father and son. merlin and gaius closing the door for arthur- pseudo father and pseudo son.
'he'll never know who i really am'
i want to do a DEH post soon but jeez. the line that hits hardest for me in DEH is 'i never let them see the worst of me. cause what if everyone saw? what if everyone knew? would they like what they saw? or would they hate it too? and jeez that's all i can think about when i think about merlin and his secrets
again. no liam, just payne
asldkfja;sldkfjas dlf merlin waiting for arthur
i have so many feelings
i love the show of affections for his father. you already know that uther wasn't affectionate when arthur was growing up, but still. forehead kiss? i love it
I DIDN'T WANT YOU TO FEEL THAT YOU WERE ALONE. i hate this and love this so much. i'm not saying merlin is completely selfless, because merlin wants magic to be leagalized and arthur is the way to do that. but omg merlin not wanting for arthur to feel like he's alone breaks me
first, merlin being physically alone while waiting for arthur. arthur was technically alone too, but he was with his father
but also, merlin being alone in the sense of his magic. no one knows except for gaius. lancelot knew and then they killed him. merlin is so alone when it comes to his magic, and morgana's enchantment only pushes merlin into his 'magic shell' more. arthur thinks magic is pure evil, and merlin is made of magic. what does that mean would think of arthur. this hurts me so much i'm so sad
friend 😭
arthur asking if he's hungry and them getting breakfast together
ok this sound track
pendragon red. i actually stan
gwen wearing a purple dress?? color symbolism?? nah i'm over thinking
ASIFA;SDLFJAD HE'S KING OF CAMELOT
IT'S LIKE I WANT TO CRY BECAUSE I'M SO PROUD RIGHT NOW.
oh jeez oh jeez.
and merlin saying 'long live the king' at the end of the episode?
chills
Anyways! I’ll be back next week to rant more about aithusa so I’ll see you then! thanks I love you bye
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bioodorange · 3 years
Note
hi it's me again (the one who asked for rules). may i please have a matchup? I'm a bi girl & I'm 4'10. I have brown eyes + thick curly brown hair. I have unlimited anxiety 💅. I like to read, study history, & listen to music.I like frogs, dogs, & bunnies.I'm super-affectionate & I love 2 take care of my partner. 💕 I'm v shy & cry easily, but I'm silly + giggly w/ loved ones. nsfw is okay (i'm switch but like to be a soft mommy dom for sub boys 💞) i think ur super cool 🙈 & ily for doing this ❤
yes hun I rememeber ya- it'd be kinda sad if i didn't tbh. ANYWAY! yes i love yall too whenever someone follows me or likes my shit i die- in a good way! anyways here ya are! i was also thinking nurse anne so if you want one for her just tell me :)
|| Puppeteer ||
First off this dude would think you’re so fuckin pretty like what I think his type is visually- BOOM you!
Height doesn’t matter to him but he finds it kinda cute how small you are
He also may or may not watch you struggle to reach something up high before helping out
So no matter how your hair is he’d love touching it, braiding or combing it ( you didn’t mention your skintone but if you’re a POC he’d look into how to style your hair)
I can imagine him giving you like little flowers for your hair or just in general and you’d keep em, maybe press them or something so they’d last
this bitch would die of happiness and hug you when he found out!!
He has a hard time speaking because of his screwed up vocal cords but if you ever had an anxiety attack he’d pull you close until you calmed down
Or if you didn’t want to be touched he’d sit by and talk a bit with you or maybe hum something
He’d learn what set you off or what you didn’t like and try and avoid areas, like that
I can see you guys spending an afternoon reading together, not even the same book as long as your together
John is a PDA mean he needs lots of reasurance and cuddles to make sure he’s doing alright
He’d find your history study very interesting, he’s been dead for a while expect a lot of questions about culture and the current world
Spend an afternoon showing him tiktok or your favorite youtubers and he’ll be in love
IDK what kind of shows you watch but I can see you guys watching She-ra together
Music is another thing, he’s ok with anyting he prefers older stuff he’s comfortable with learning new things
But if you ever gush over some singer he’ll get a bit self conscious, why isn’t it him, why does their music sound so weird??
This mans is totally ok with animals
He’d most likely get you a rabbit, considering they’re easy to maintain and pretty calm
one day you’d come home and hes just sitting there, arms folded on the floor watching some little bunny hop around like “Oh yeah I got this for you-” he doesn’t really understand why you got so happy but hes happy you’re smiling
Affection is good he REALLY needs someone like that, he’ll double check stuff a lot and needs lots of support
Hugs and praise are an easy way to this mans heart
He may not SAY anything about the small gestures you do, like buying an extra bag of the snack he likes or perhaps buying a radio he knows how to use for your room
But he will very much appreciate it
This dude loves the radio, he’s not much of a movie guy and will sit there all day listening to it
He’s happy you’re emotional just cause he can pick up on emotions doesn’t mean he understands them
The first few times you cry he’ll get a bit panicked, but eventually grow used to it and hug you
Dunno why but y’all would watch fuckin banana fish together
NSFW
So this mans doesn’t have much expierence in the bedroom but he really wants to please you.
You being a soft dom is p e r f e c t for this boy
Small praise and guidance is just what he needs
It may take a while but you can definetely coax some noises out of him
His favorite position is missionary, he can see you’re face and wether he’s topping or not, he knows what he’s doing
Change isn’t something he welcomes but he will gladly try something out atleast once if you like
The first few times he tops he’ll be asking you a lot how it feels and going after your pleasure instead if his own
but once he gets into it this mans can work
If you’re all right with it, light bondage holding your wrists up with his strings
Prefers if you call him John but will definetely call you mommy or bunny
As a confident top he’d go for edging and maybe light degradation lots of “you like that baby, hm?” and “I can’t hear you over all that whining”
If y’all ever have quickies its him leading, taking you into some back area and fucking you
Breathplay is a big NO for him, unless its soft kissing or nuzzles he’ll get turned off real fucking fast if you touch his neck or ask him to choke you
But will happily let you suck on his fingers
If you ever squirt its an accident, just him getting a bit carried away
will try and do it a few more times just to watch you
and fucking you in his lap
Thats all
have a good night/day babes <3
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sergeanttpoliteness · 5 years
Text
➹embroidered hearts➹(ps4 peter parker x reader)
Requested by anon➝  hi! idk if you’re taking requests right now, but if you are, do you think you could write something for ps4 peter parker? maybe like a friends to lovers thing. thanks!
You just... really liked to disappear, huh? To vanish, slip from his fingers. Except that this time Peter found you, caught you before you left once again, which may have just been exactly what you needed.
word count: 2.7k
a/n: holy wowowow, this isn’t a false alarm, y’all-- i actually posted! i’m sososo happy i finally did, and i’m really sorry about how long it took me to do so. school drained all my motivation but exams just finished this friday so i decided to get this done once and for all. i’m shocked that i finally liked something i wrote this month, it’s progress (’: anyway, here’s something for 1 pretty boy whom i love very much, i hope the nonnie who requested it likes it! (: also i had a terrible allergy while editing this so if there are any mistakes pls know that it’s hard to write while sneezing every five seconds. hope this week is great for you bc u deserve it, ok, ily that’s it adios (last thing lol, expect some noir stuff next and that beter sequel eye emoji)
Twenty minutes. Twenty minutes since you told him you were going to the bathroom with a wavering smile, and you were nowhere to be seen. Peter set his empty glass of water on the table for the third time— God, he experienced a déjà vu that left him stumped and everything, and as he watched the crystal liquid stream from the pitcher, he could also sense his bladder protesting against all the suffering he kept putting it through. Nonetheless, he simply thanked the waiter for the refill, or else he was sure that if he didn’t continue drowning himself, the disquiet abounding in his system as a result of your unknown whereabouts would strangle him with its unnerving claws. Perhaps the entrance dish bombarded your stomach (if so, then he hoped you were alright), or the toilet devoured you and swallowed you down the drain. Two-year-old him never trusted the porcelain seat, after all (it... was an actual fear of his, actually). However, past all those justifications and silly fears, he knew something wasn’t right, for there existed no chance you’d simply vanish just like that after the anxiety for tonight nearly eroding you alive, and you wouldn’t surrender an opportunity for a promotion... right?
He scanned the party room, through the many dresses and tuxedos either standing by still or swaying together, awkwardness raining over and staining his skin when he recalled he was the last remaining person in the table after everyone else retired to chat with other fancy people. He surely didn’t fit in that category, neither was he acquainted with anyone — he wasn’t even invited, for crying out loud, rather you were the reason for his attendance; still, you weren’t there. He considered possibly checking the bathroom to make sure you seriously hadn’t died, because you weren’t answering any of his calls and... oh, no.
Your boss walked on stage and tapped the microphone, a muffled thud reverberating through the speakers. “Good evening, everyone! I’m glad the night’s been such a lovely one, I hope you’re all having a great time.” The man — Peter couldn’t remember his name, honestly — spoke, a charismatic grin that paraded his astonishing dental care on his face. Though no alluring smile impeded Peter from panicking further or his limbs from driving him out of his chair and into the tight space in between a cluster of intimidating guests, looking identical to a little kid who couldn’t find his parents at the supermarket.
“Where are you, Y/N?” He muttered to himself, a question he’d reiterated in his head far too often for the past seven months. A haze of amazement and disbelief encompassed his brain when you called him to ask to come as his date— all he could do was blink, his throat clogged up and his heart so unbelieving as if you died and had risen from your tomb, but you might as well have and he wouldn’t have even known, because it’s what it seemed following such a tediously long time of dead silence, of not seeing that lopsided grin of yours, of nothing. It should’ve pushed him away, if anything, although how could it? How could his stunned little heart let you go after you’d embroidered yourself into it, sewn the threads, a perennial string that led back to you, the first day you met? And yet you still gripped it closely, unwilling to detach as he desperately dialed your number again, his stomach diving faster down to the Earth’s core whilst your boss’ speech went on and a high-pitched beep rang in his ear. ‘The person you have called is unavailable right now...’ Not a good sign. No, most definitely not.
“However, I’d like to invite on stage a person who we appreciate greatly in the company,” ‘The person you have called is un—’ Peter hung up, over that goddamn message that always appears to torment him, and grimaced as your boss studied the crowd with proud eyes. “Please, a big round of applause for Y/N Y/L/N!”
The room exploded with sophisticated cheering, but it declined gracelessly, the clapping stuttering, fully ceasing when the moments dragged on and no one entered the spotlight. The leader squinted, visibly distressed, brows perplexed as he leaned closer to the lady beside him. “Y/N... did make it tonight, correct?” He whispered too loudly, gossip escalating in the audience. Peter bit his lip, stepping back closer to the exit door until a rough hand clutched his sleeve. 
“Hey, you’re Y/L/N’s boyfriend, right?” An older man with fuming blue eyes and a bald spot questioned, spit flying but thankfully not anywhere near Peter who sputtered, chest warming up when his tongue failed him, became tangled in his mouth.
“Wha... n-no, we’re just friends—”
 “I don’t care. Listen, if that idiot is not here right now then I’m gonna be in deep shit.”
Peter’s brows furrowed with anger, “Hey, shut up, man— Y/N’s not an idiot.” He snapped, but the guy barely flinched and rolled his eyes as he let go of the taller young man. 
“Just do something!” He hissed, equally as bitter and prodding his chest before disappearing into the crowd.
Peter opened the double doors and sped down the hallway straight to the bathrooms with a sour mood; however, before he knocked, a figure outside the window captivated him and calmed his hammering heartbeat. It... couldn’t be you. Why would you be out there? He surveyed the area, and when he saw no sign of another person or any security cameras, he unfastened the window’s lock and slid it open.
Could he have gone outside like a normal human being? Yeah, sure, except that— first — where’s the fun in that, and second, he didn’t want to walk all the way to the other side of the building— it was an emergency, or at least that’s the excuse he’d use if anyone caught him as he landed softly on the grass. It was indeed you, he realized, sat on a bench, observing nothing in particular unless the building under construction across the street held any trace of beauty in your eyes. He stopped a few feet away from you, mouth twitching. “Is this seat taken?”
You almost jumped into space and out of orbit, your neck whipping around, large frightened eyes gradually lightening when they took him in. There it was. That lopsided grin, unchanging from when you were a sophomore in college apart from the darker under eye circles. And there was his own shy smile, too, accompanied by the blush that stained his face, like red wine spilled over a tablecloth. “Yes, actually, by my imaginary friend Pedro.” You patted the area beside you, on the supposed Pedro’s knee, and he sneaked his hands inside his blazer’s pockets, feigning disapproval.
“You exchanged me for a Pedro?”
“He’s a nice guy.” You giggled as he sat down next to you, your stare fixed on your lap. “Let me guess: I messed up the night and that’s why you’re looking for me.” You said, playfulness faltering and insecurity peeking its head in, and he noticed how it sculpted your expression and body language with its discouragement. 
“Not exactly, no. I was still going to look for you, but a jerk who called you an idiot really needed me to do so.” He grumbled, irritation returning as a combo along with remembrance of the incident. You didn’t reach, though; you solely raised your eyebrows, unruffled, your friend more afflicted albeit he wasn’t the one who was called an idiot. 
“A short guy that kinda looks like an odd mix between John Stamos and Danny Devito?” You queried. Peter rebuilt the man’s appearance in his head, and you had to laugh at his raw shock when he recognized the accuracy of your comparison. He... really did look like that, seriously, it’s the most bizarre combination you could think of. “Yeah, that’s Jonathan. We’re not exactly best pals.”
“I kinda figured that out, Stavito didn’t look so happy.” A smile flourished on his countenance as quickly as a match is set alight after you cackled, your hand flying up to your mouth to mute your laughter.
“Stavito? Man, now he’s gonna hate me even more because I’m never gonna stop using that one.” You shook your head, rubbing your crinkled eyes. He hummed, loosening his tie, wearing a crooked grin that you fathomed meant incoming pain for you—
“He’s gonna stab-ito you!”
Jesus Christ. You let out a drawn-out breath and picked up your legs, expression similar to a parent seeing their kid’s report card. “I hate you. This friendship’s on hold until further notice.”
“It was a great pun!”
“Was not.” You objected, although both of your bodies shook with hilarity. He looked at you, the moon painting silver strokes on your tranquil frame, the delight in him for just being by your side too much that his stare lingered; though not for long, for your attention strayed up to him and his eyes immediately shifted down to his hands, his leg restless, bustling.
“Why are you out here? We could’ve left if that’s what you wanted.” He said, brows knitted. You changed to a cross-legged position, rolling your lips.
“I originally was just going to take a five-minute stroll, but once I sat down here, I just couldn’t go back inside.” You confessed, shrugging. Gloom reemerged, drooping the corners of your lips, striking a spike of ice in your gut— the frost trickled up and down your body, goosebumps of sorrow growing over your skin. “I’m sorry I’m such a terrible friend. Jonathan’s right: I am an idiot.” You whispered.
He held in his breath, blank on what to say. “Why would you think that?”
You snorted, expression unamused. “They’re facts, Pete. Good friends don’t just… fall off the face of Earth without a warning.”
“I’m… sure you had your reasons.”
“They weren’t good reasons, though. I should’ve at least told you something. But I bet it was nice to get a break from me, huh?” You joked, hurt and self-doubt seeping through your voice.
He frowned, immediately denying with his head. “Why would I want to get a break from you? Y/N, we don’t even get to see each other that much. If anything, I…” He halted, gulping. “I-I want to see you more.” He admitted quietly.
Your bewilderment was dim but still present as you ran your hand up and down your arm. “You’re dumb. You could spend your time with people who are actually great but you want to spend it with me.”
“Yeah, well, if I am dumb so what? I still wouldn’t change my mind.” He argued, a line in between his brows. You sighed, sliding down the metal seat, your eyes shut as you tilted your head back. 
“Peter, stop, you don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“I do, though. I mean, yeah, it… it hurt a bit,” Peter raised one shoulder, aware that it hurt more than just ‘a bit’. “I thought you decided to break contact, but it’s okay, really.”
“Give yourself some love, it’s not okay that I hurt you like that.” You momentarily put your hand on his, repentance etched on your features. “You didn’t deserve that.”
“We’re talking again, though, that’s all that matters.” He brushed you off, raising up to his feet. The guilt still held you, played with you like a doll, but the reassuring quirk of the corner of his mouth somewhat relieved it. “We should go back inside, don’t want you catching a cold or Stavito getting fired.”
“He’s not gonna get fired, he’s just way too over dramatic.” You grunted, showing your clear distaste for the John Stamos and Danny Devito love child. Peter lent out his hand but you blinked at it, chuckling uncomfortably. “Don’t you rather stay out a bit more? The sky looks great tonight— I can see a few more stars than usual.” You pointed at the dark blanket of nebulae and astral bodies. He glanced up, close to dropping to the ground to inspect the night sky until he heard the stifled music from the party.
“We can stargaze once the event’s over.” He promised, gesturing with his head to the building. It was then when he distinguished the dread in your eyes.
“...Are you sure you don’t want to do it now? What if it gets too cloudy?”
He narrowed his eyes. “Is everything alright? Why don’t you want to go back in there?”
You tried to utter another excuse, but you couldn’t. The ire at yourself made your hands tremble, set your mouth in a hard line as you were incapable of looking right at him, the humiliation far too much.
“I hate my job.”
Peter sat back down, staring at you, his expression sad. “You know, I spent the entirety of high school and started college with this idea of what I wanted my future to be like. But now that I did it, now that I’m actually there, I’m so… bored with everything. I don’t know what to do. Like, what am I supposed to do now? Go to work and what else? Because if that’s all there is to my life, I don’t know why I should even bother with it.”
“Don’t say that.”
“Peter what am I doing?” You scoffed, scowling. “Look at me: what the hell am I bringing to the world? You’ve got FEAST, and just got that job with Otto Octavius— you’re… so amazing and will do so many great things. The world needs you. I need you. We all do.” You mumbled, voice breaking.
His sight gravitated down to your lonely hand that rested so near to his, that had the string running from his heart encircled around its ring finger, beckoning him closer. His fingers reached out slowly, hesitantly, with great fear. But he wound up grazing your hand, and then he fully wrapped his own around it— around the artist that sewed a handiwork of untouchable adoration into him. “But what if I...” He began, struggling to come clean. “What if I...” He saw your anticipating gaze.
“I need you, too.” He whispered.
Your view averted down to your linked hands and then up at the boy unknowing that he, just like you had to him, had tailored a piece of himself in you long ago. You hugged him. Crumbled, snuggled deep into him, allowing yourself to accept that hand reaching out to you, to surrender to comfort. He hugged you back with as much gentleness and warmth, his chin on top of your head. “You should give yourself some love, too.” He murmured and you let out air through your nose, agreeing with him. “You’ll find your way because you’re incredible, alright? I just wish you could see that.”
Seven months weren’t eons, Peter acknowledged, but perhaps they could be; perhaps they were enough to view everything differently, past that veil that cloaked his eyes, past the doubt and uncertainty, because there was something distinctive in your familiar smile when you pulled away. Something unusual as you sat straight, your eyes drifting sideways to him. “I guess we can help each other with that self-love thing.” You suggested.
He got the hint in your voice, and all of a sudden, he figured out what that something was; but he didn’t want to accept the truth that crashed against him when he realized that it wasn’t new. No, it’d been there all along.
He could try to believe.
“Maybe we could, uh, we could go out for dinner some… some time. Get started with some good food, y’know…” His tone was quiet and he couldn’t have resembled better a nervous teenage boy asking his crush to dance on prom night as he wrinkled his nose in embarrassment.
You faked a cynical expression, despite already knowing the answer in your soul. “Some time?”
“Or never, if that’s what you prefer.” He laughed tensely, his eyes growing wide when he turned his head and cursed at himself internally. You smiled to yourself, moving a strand of hair out of your face.
“How about tonight?”
“Tonight? Like…” He checked his wristband, only to remember it wasn’t a watch. “...tonight? What about the event—”
“Forget the event,” You stood up, and now you were the one stretching out your hand to him. “C’mon, let’s look for some restaurants because why not, am I right?”
Peter clutched your hand, the contentment a welcomed compensation for all those months of not seeing you.
“Yeah, why not?”
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