#anyways if you gave this a read. thank you! i hope you liked it <3
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I hope everyone enjoyed the finale of @mrghostrat's Big Name Feelings Good Omens AU as much as I did. While ghostrat ended his story perfectly with a beautiful and realistic close to the part of their relationship we as an audience get to see, I had one more scene idea close to my heart and so I'm putting it out here because my heart still sings with love for this story and its characters.
These fanscenes now also appear on AO3. Along with the four I've already posted here (1, 2, 3, and 5), you can find a scene I kept off Tumblr ("Ch. 12"). You can read the final scene ("Ch. 17") below, but you can also find it on AO3, where it shows the text messages in graphical form.
Bilv, thank you once again for creating such an amazing story! I'm happy to say that my mind is no longer filled with your middle-aged men and their middle-aged-man problems. Instead, please enjoy these 3k words of pure fluff.
—
Crowley dumped his bag on the hotel room floor and did a lazy spin to take in the space. "Not bad, eh?"
"It's very posh," Newt agreed, setting his bag down more gingerly. "You're sure we can't pitch in for it?"
"I'm not dealing with you setting your phone on fire trying to do a transfer." Crowley waved the offer off and flopped onto the couch. The hotel suite had two small bedrooms plus a nice little sitting area that would be perfect for board games. It was set up to mainly accommodate a family with kids, albeit a family that could afford to splash on a multi-room suite for the family vacation to Spain. Crowley stretched out, shamelessly taking up the whole couch in a bid to ease the stiffness in his hips. "Tell ya what, if you're feeling guilty, you can buy my drinks tonight."
Anathema laughed and gave Crowley a poke in the side, looking quite satisfied at his jerk and yelp. "Knowing you, that will end up being a fair deal. And I'll take care of renting the wheelbarrow to cart you back here."
Crowley rubbed his side dourly. "Maybe I preferred you on the other side of the ocean."
Anathema grinned at him, unrepentant. "If you want to stay at my place while I'm here, I'll lend you my keys." She ducked a thrown pillow with a laugh.
—
The weather was perfect for sipping cocktails outside, and their mutual agreement to all try drinks they'd never had before helped keep the night from slipping away from them too quickly. Being able to chat without the artificial framing of a webcam was a delight, too, but all of them were too continuously connected to be interested in a strict phones-down policy.
Anathema rolled her eyes and took another sip of her drink before answering the text that had just popped up on her screen.
Aziraphale: Are you certain he doesn't know I'm nearby?
Anathema: I didn't tell him, Newt doesn't know, and he doesn't have a magical angel-detecting sense does he?
Aziraphale: I'm not so sure about that last point. Some of his last texts seem awfully pointed.
Anathema: You're being paranoid
Anathema slipped her phone away before leaning over to look at Crowley's phone screen, where he was lining up a very artistic shot of his drink, showcasing as much of the swanky beachfront seating area as possible. She blinked at him slowly. "Have you been sending Aziraphale 'wish you were here' texts?"
Crowley glanced at her sideways, his thumb paused over the shutter button. "Maybe."
Anathema sighed and rubbed her forehead. "Are you an adult who can handle a vacation with friends or are you going to pine after your boyfriend all night?"
"I'm here, aren't I? It's not like we're tied together at the hip."
Anathema shook her head in fond exasperation. "Getting these printed on postcards for him would be funnier than this text spam." Crowley barked out a laugh and sent Aziraphale his next promise to take him here sometime anyway.
Anathema pulled out her phone again, tapping out a quick message.
Anathema: He says he's a full-grown adult who can handle being away from you.
There was a pause before Aziraphale responded to her — probably due to dealing with a barrage of messages from Crowley.
Aziraphale: A very convincing claim.
Anathema looked up as Crowley put his phone away. "All done?"
"Yeah, he's taking an early night." Crowley took a languid sip from his drink.
"How have his workshops been going?" Newt asked, fiddling with a vibrant russet cocktail in a type of glass he couldn't name.
"Good!" Crowley's eyes lit up with excitement, his cheeks pink. "We polished his presentation before he left—"
"I heard about that!" Newt cut in. "He said it was more like beta-testing than beta-reading."
Crowley snorted. "If you want to see what happens when someone goes against the script, I'm your guy."
"The reception's been okay?" Anathema asked. "I know getting audience participation at workshops can be pulling teeth."
"Nahhh, it's different in the library world. Those weirdos actually care about their jobs."
"So do I, but it would be pulling teeth to get me to do a 'group active learning exercise.'"
"Fair." Crowley grinned. "They know how to talk like humans, then. And they really are interested in anyone with tips on how to break into digital spaces in an authentic way."
Newt hummed thoughtfully. "He's really okay with talking about his online presence at work like that? I'd be way too embarrassed."
"Nah, you stop caring about that stuff when you get older."
Anathema snorted. "I'm still saying it's pure luck you didn't chase him offline again with that con nonsense."
"Pfffft." Crowley made a sound that was all plosives and no vowels. "Never even close."
"Right," Anathema replied with tasteful sarcasm.
Crowley cut her teasing short by slapping a yellow canvas pouch down on the table. "C'mon. Let's play a game!"
"Oh, Bananagrams!" Anathema accepted the diversion and unzipped the banana-shaped bag, pouring the Scrabble tiles out between them. She deftly started flipping them letter side down. "I don't think Newt's played?"
Crowley nodded and waggled his fingers at the pile of tiles. "Rules are easy: Everyone's building their own board-free Scrabble grid. You start with 21 tiles. Say 'peel' when you've used yours up to make everyone take another tile from the stock. Say 'dump' to trade one of your tiles for three from the stock. The first person to say 'peel' without enough tiles left for everyone to take one wins. Simple, right?"
Newt nodded slowly, watching as Anathema divided the tiles out neatly. "So they're putting Scrabble in bananas these days."
—
Aziraphale: Is he up yet?
Crowley gestured Anathema towards the table where their phones sat in a cuddly pile of charging pads and wires. "You got a message while you were in the shower. From Aziraphale?"
Anathema kept her face carefully schooled as she sauntered over and picked up her phone, using the need to adjust her towel turban as an excuse for not making eye contact. "Mm." She picked it up and read the incriminating message, then snorted. "Bracing himself for when your wall of texts will start, I imagine."
"Nahhh, he loves it!" Crowley snagged the glasses cleaner out of his bag and sauntered into the bathroom. He'd be wearing them all day and he'd murder someone if he had to deal with the scummy film left by hotel soap.
"Whatever you say, lover boy." Anathema breathed a tired sigh.
Anathema: Yeah, and he saw this. We should be at the conservatory by 11
She should have just taken the phone into the bathroom with her, steam be damned.
—
The botanical conservatory was, frankly, gorgeous. The greenhouses were so large the ceilings weren't even noticeable, and the outdoor gardens were a riot of native plants. Crowley devoured the signs about plants he was unfamiliar with with gusto, and pointed out those he recognized with the enthusiasm of a man determined to prove he wasn't hungover. Newt listened with unfeigned interest, while Anathema wasn't shy about slowing them down to take photos of particularly artfully arranged displays.
They'd been there about half an hour when a patter of English broke through the background chatter of Spanish. "Could you spot me the entrance fee for the butterfly room?"
"Aziraphale!" Crowley immediately spun to his right, his whole face lighting up in delight before realizing that seeing him here was, in fact, quite odd. "What are you doing in Spain?"
"I left right after my last workshop. I thought it might make a nice surprise."
"It made the best surprise." Crowley pulled him into an ardent kiss that went on long enough for Anathema to cough something about public displays of affection. Crowley eventually relented on the kiss, as much for the sake of their breathing as anything else, but kept his arm slung firmly around Aziraphale's shoulders. "You're a bit of a bastard, you know that? I could've been looking forward to this the whole time."
"Only as much of a bastard as you deserve," Aziraphale teased right back with easy familiarity. His heart kept pounding hard anyway.
"Heh. What a way to butter me up while you're angling for a free ticket." Crowley snuck another kiss onto Aziraphale's cheek. Aziraphale laughed as he slipped his arm through Crowley's, relishing the contact after their weeks apart.
The butterfly room, when they got in, was a riot of fluttering wings. The promise of iridescence was enough to get Crowley to remove his sunglasses, and a quiet compliment on his eyes from Aziraphale was enough to get him tucking them into his pocket instead of putting them right back on afterwards.
They left the butterfly room — with some careful mutual inspections to make sure no one was harboring a stowaway, involving perhaps a bit more care in running fingers through another's hair than was strictly necessary for the task — and emerged near the exit to the rose garden. Crowley's hand moved towards his sunglasses but Aziraphale put his hand on his arm. "Just a couple more minutes? There's something I want you to see first." Aziraphale glanced over at Anathema, who nodded slightly but otherwise kept her expression carefully uninterested.
Crowley looked between them and shrugged. "Not exactly subtle as far as hangover tests go, but a'ight." Aziraphale laughed breathlessly and kept a firm grip on his arm, drawing him deeper into the garden.
The rose garden featured small offshoots to the main path where groups could sit for a little while to rest. It wasn't until the third one that they came upon an alcove that was empty, and Aziraphale promptly pulled Crowley aside, Anathema holding out her hand to keep Newt just outside it with her.
"Crowley—" Aziraphale began, his breath catching in his throat as he caught Crowley's full attention. "I, ah. I actually came here because there was something I wanted to say."
Crowley's hand twitched reflexively towards his glasses again, but this time he kept it down himself, even as his heart started to pound. "...yeah?"
"Yeah," Aziraphale breathed out as he sank to one knee, reaching into his pocket. His fingers were trembling, and his smile was nervous but so very adoring. "If I ask you something, will you promise to laugh?"
"—huh?" Crowley blinked in confusion, then stared as Aziraphale opened a jewelry box to reveal a simple ring.
"Anthony J. Crowley, would you be my snouse?"
It took a few seconds for Crowley to register any of the words Aziraphale had just said, but then he barked out a laugh as the last one hit him. "Really? That's how you ask?"
"You don't like it?"
"I just... I thought if you did it, you'd do a whole speech for it. You even brought us out to a rose garden!"
"I'll be honest, I had one of those planned. I just... couldn't quite seem to bring it to mind." Aziraphale had no idea how he was managing to talk even as much as he was around the tightness in his throat. "You haven't answered my question, dear."
"Pfft..." Crowley closed both his hands around Aziraphale's. "Yes. Yes, of course I'll be your... your whatever. Forever and always."
"Thank goodness." Aziraphale half rose and was instead greeted by Crowley also kneeling, both of them moving together for a kiss that was slow and deliberate. Aziraphale could feel the pounding of his own pulse against the tight hold Crowley had on his hands, and he could tell how Crowley's heartrate had risen to match his by the way their kiss kept shifting for quick intakes of air. Aziraphale finally broke the contact only so he could gently extricate his hands from Crowley's. It took every scrap of concentration he could scrape together to find Crowley's left hand and slip the ring onto his finger. "...it fit okay?"
"Nggh," Crowley replied before pulling him into another kiss.
They might have stayed there all day if Anathema hadn't cleared her throat — snapping another quick photo as they looked up at her, flushed and frazzled. "We are still in public, I'm afraid."
"Yeah," Crowley breathed.
"Huh..." Aziraphale added, just as coherently.
Newt shook his head at the unlikely prospect of them getting up anytime soon, and looked over at Anathema instead. "How were you so prepared?"
Anathema flashed him a smile. "I knew this was coming. Aziraphale asked me to take the photos."
"Is that why you're here?"
"It was the other way around," Anathema replied. "Aziraphale realized he could arrange his schedule to join our trip partway, and we worked out how to take advantage of the situation."
"Bastard," Crowley muttered in response to nothing and everything, pressing tender kisses to Aziraphale's left ring finger like he could imprint a ring there with his lips. "Did you measure my finger while I slept?"
Aziraphale smiled as he watched him, his heartrate finally settling closer to normal under Crowley's reassuring touches. "It's scarcely my fault you're so easy to send to sleep, dearest."
"You're ridiculous. Adorable. Incorrigible."
"Are those all synonyms in your mind?" Aziraphale leaned in to steal another kiss.
Crowley laughed breathlessly at how easily they'd returned to comfortable teasing and carefully pushed himself up. He tugged his clothing straighter and tried to pretend he was put-together as he glanced at Anathema, who was grinning unabashedly at them. "I'll want those pics for... for everything. All of them."
Aziraphale put his hand on Crowley's arm for support as he straightened his own creaking knees. "I'm claiming Tumblr first, if you don't mind."
"Eh—" Crowley gave him his full attention again, not that it had strayed for more than a moment. "This will really get you notice, Angel."
"Good." Aziraphale took Crowley's hand and leaned in to kiss him. He rubbed his fingertip over the ring settled firmly onto a finger that had never borne one before. "Let them know who's claimed you."
Crowley snaked his arm around Aziraphale's neck, chasing down another kiss that went on long enough to have Anathema clucking behind them. "We're gonna get kicked out of the garden, Angel."
Aziraphale smiled against Crowley's lips. "Let them. The one we made is better."
—
Three bottles of wine sat open and mostly-drunk on the table, divided between four glasses that were using the remnants of the previous night's game of The Quiet Year as a coaster. ("We set it in an idyllic countryside and it all went downhill from there," Crowley had explained when Aziraphale came in and started examining the hand-drawn map. "I think the arrival of the dog was the real turning point to madness," Newt had chimed in. "It was doomed from the start," Anathema declared with a resigned sigh.) The red rings of wine stains could have added as much to the group narrative as anything they'd purposefully drawn.
"I came in like a wrecking ball~! I never hit so hard in love~!" Newt sang raucously, a broad grin on his face while Anathema laughed into her hand. Aziraphale tilted his head as he watched them, visibly processing the music.
"All the other kids with their pumped-up kicks, you better run—!" Anathema joined in as the tune jauntily transitioned to a new melody. Aziraphale's face froze into an expression of fond but intense confusion.
"Problem, Angel?" Crowley drawled, utterly amused as he watched the tableau.
"I'm fairly certain that isn't how those songs go. And isn't that polka?"
"Never heard of Weird Al? Bit bigger overseas, I s'pose." He gestured to Anathema's phone, which was supplying the impromptu karaoke party.
Aziraphale nodded, confusion dissolving and leaving just a hint of distaste in its place. "And a different generation, I suppose." He took another sip of his wine, a nice Syrah, as the melody shifted to a new and equally abrasive polka.
"I wear your granddad's clothes," the millennials continued singing, until one of them glanced at Aziraphale and started laughing and the other followed suit, wineglass held out in an attempt to insulate it from deep belly laughs. Crowley snagged it deftly and set it on the table, another drop of wine rolling down to stain the paper there. Aziraphale rolled his eyes, much more amused at their drunken good humor than offended.
Crowley patted Aziraphale's thigh. "Want to take the rest of that Syrah back to my room and leave the loverbirds to it?"
"It would still be rather noisy if we stayed here," Aziraphale replied with a tempting smile. "Why don't you come back to mine?"
Crowley leaned forward eagerly, only a fraction away from jumping up at the unexpected invitation. "Oh?"
"Well, the room may not wind up being quite as nice as the one you got, but I thought for our first night together as a formally promised couple..." Aziraphale's smile said everything.
"You're a genius." Crowley kissed his cheek and grabbed Aziraphale's hand to pull him up with him, then firmly refused to let it go despite the challenge of tucking a wine bottle under his arm while juggling a wine glass and his phone.
Aziraphale laughed. "We can take two trips, since you'll want your bag. Did you leave it packed?"
"Like always." Crowley grinned. "Not going to rib on me for that ever again, huh?"
"One occasion of convenience is not worth the wrinkles, my dear," Aziraphale responded with all the primness he could muster around a wide grin.
Crowley laughed and took the opportunity of Aziraphale opening the hotel room door to crowd closer and steal an eager kiss that was just as eagerly given. "You really managed to hold in that you'd gotten us a room all day?"
"I kept the trip secret from you too, didn't I?"
"Age will not wither," Crowley chuckled and nipped Aziraphale's ear. "C'mon, let's see that room. Coming back for pyjamas optional."
The two of them left the hotel suite hand-in-hand, with everything they truly needed already right there with them.
#good omens#good omens fanfiction#bnf au#ineffable husbands#fanfiction of fanfiction#my writing#middle-aged men and their middle-aged-man joy
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lunar sigh.
summary: your best friend convinces you to move in with a stranger, but both you and xiao are running from your past.
notes: 9.3k words, fic, modern + roommates au, mentions of violence + death, bad parents + bad friends (ie scaramouche)
If you were honest with yourself, you would admit that moving in with a stranger was one of the worst ideas you’ve had in a while.
But to be fair, it technically wasn’t your idea in the first place. It was Ganyu’s, and when you first texted her that you needed a place to stay, she responded that she knew a friend who was looking for a roommate, coincidentally enough.
It’s not like you had a lot of options, so you agreed before you could lose your nerve. And besides, anyone who was friends with Ganyu couldn’t be that bad, right?
That’s how you found yourself standing outside a dingy little apartment, lugging cardboard boxes up and down the stairs with Ganyu and your new roommate.
“Xiao is actually a really sweet guy,” she whispered to you as you passed her on the way back down. “I promise. He’s just… a little awkward.”
You glanced at the man in question. It was nice enough that he was helping you move your boxes, you supposed, but he’d barely said more than six words to you when Ganyu had introduced you in the morning.
“I’m Xiao,” he had grunted. “These are your keys.”
Ganyu had shoved him out the door when it was obvious he wasn’t going to say anything more after that, saying that he should help you move all your belongings.
“I can tell,” you mumbled back to her. “Great conversationalist, that one.”
Ganyu smacked you lightly on the shoulder. “Give him a chance!”
“Ow! Fine, I will.”
A few minutes later, all your boxes were shoved haphazardly into your new room, and all you needed to do was unpack them. Ganyu left, saying she had a lunch meeting with some coworkers to discuss their latest business project, giving you another meaningful stare before she left.
“We should make some house rules,” you said, leaning against your doorframe, surveying the apartment: two bedrooms, one kitchen, one bathroom, and a laundry machine stuck inside a refurbished closet. You’d already agreed to split the rent. “For example, how do you feel about chores?”
“We can split them.”
“Sure. We should alternate weekends when it comes to sweeping the floor and stuff like that. I’ll do my own laundry, and wash the dishes after I cook, and you should do the same.”
“Okay.”
“If you have friends you want to invite over–” you began.
“I don’t invite people over,” Xiao said, cutting you off. “If you’re bringing someone over, give me advance notice.”
“I don’t plan on bringing anyone over, either,” you said, looking away. “Other than Ganyu, but…”
“That’s fine. You don’t need to tell me about her.”
“No using the other person’s stuff without permission, and we should communicate in case of a disagreement or to discuss other rules we should add,” you said, holding up a finger for each rule you listed. “Sounds good?”
“Yeah.”
“Then let’s shake.”
You held out your hand to Xiao, who looked at it with hesitation before slowly taking it. His hand was dry and calloused, his grip looser than you expected, as if he was afraid to touch you with any force.
“Here’s to our mutual cohabitation!” you cheered. You shook, once, and Xiao let go as soon as you were done.
Hopefully you wouldn’t regret this, you thought, your eyes lingering on the tattoos trailing down Xiao’s left arm as he walked into his room and quietly closed the door.
—
For most of the week, you and Xiao mostly kept to yourselves. He got up early in the morning to go and run, coming back just as you woke up to change and head out for the day. You spent most of the week unpacking and settling into the apartment, heading out to walk around the neighborhood and familiarize yourself with the area, noting several restaurants you wanted to try as soon as your paycheck came in.
Xiao would come home sometime in the evening, only nodding his head at you in greeting. The two of you would cook for yourselves, an invisible line drawn in the refrigerator: you put your food on the left, and Xiao put his on the right.
“He’s not that bad,” you confessed to Ganyu one day, nursing a mug of tea in your hands, a blanket pulled over your shoulders. The weather was getting colder as summer ended and autumn approached, the trees outside your apartment blazing with bright reds and yellows in the cooling sunlight.
“I told you!” Ganyu had a knit scarf wrapped around her neck, her coat still buttoned snugly. You didn’t want to turn the heater on without asking Xiao, and since he seemed to enjoy the cold weather, you didn’t have the heart to. Besides, heating was expensive.
“Where do you even know him from, anyways?” you asked.
“His uncle was my tutor in high school.”
“Your tutor– he’s Zhongli’s nephew?” you said, eyes widening. “Really?”
Ganyu shrugged. “Xiao lived with Professor Zhongli for most of his life.”
Why would Xiao leave, then? You’d only met the professor several times, mostly waiting for Ganyu to finish her lessons so the two of you could hang out in a cafe or wander around town afterwards. He was a nice man, from what you recalled, and he gave you milk candies whenever you came over. Sometimes he’d even have your favorite snacks on hand, and you were certain Ganyu had told him what you liked. Certainly, he didn’t seem like the sort to kick his nephew out on the streets to fend for himself.
Well. It was none of your business what happened to Xiao. The two of you were barely better than strangers, and you were glad he didn’t pry into your life. You would try to extend the same courtesy to him.
Your phone buzzed to life on the table, and you picked it up. It was a call from your dad. You silenced it before laying it face down. Ganyu didn’t say anything, though she probably knew who was calling you.
Before either of you could say anything else, though, Xiao walked through the front door, bringing in a gust of autumn air.
“You’re here,” he said to Ganyu, who waved. “Why are both of you dressed like that?”
“It’s cold,” you said. “And heating is expensive.”
Without another word, Xiao walked over and turned on the heater. “Just turn it on if it’s cold. I can pay for the bill.”
He went into his room before you could thank him. Maybe he wanted to give you some time alone to talk to Ganyu, or you were reading too much into his behavior.
Despite your earlier promise not to interfere in his life, your curiosity in Xiao was piqued.
—
The next morning, you waited by the kitchen counter, a fresh pot of black tea brewing on the stove. After a few minutes, Xiao came in from his morning run, right on cue.
“Hey there,” you said casually. “I made some tea. Do you want any?”
Xiao glanced at you, and then at the tea pot, finally closing the door quietly behind him. “Sure.”
You poured the steaming hot liquid into two cups, one for you, and one for him. You cradled your cup gently in your hands as Xiao took a sip from his.
The kitchen was small, too small for the two of you to be crowding it together. Xiao was only a few inches from you, but you simply drank tea in silence. It had been your bright idea to corner Xiao after his morning run and start a conversation, but you knew nothing about him. What were you supposed to say?
“How was your run today?” you asked.
“Good.”
Silence again. You weren’t normally this terrible at making conversation, but it was hard to gauge how Xiao felt. You could usually play off of other people’s reactions, adjusting the way you acted to ensure you didn’t step on any toes, but Xiao’s poker face was impossible to see through. Was he annoyed? Shy? You peeked at his face, but he looked impassive as ever.
“Do you like black tea?” you offered. “I also have some other kinds if you prefer those. I didn’t know what you like, so…”
“It’s fine.” Xiao set his empty cup on the counter. Your heart sank, before he added, “I wouldn’t mind drinking it again if you made some.”
You smiled, watching as Xiao made his way into the bathroom for a quick shower. Really, you had only done this as thanks for turning on the heat when you were cold, but maybe it wouldn’t hurt to do this every once in a while.
—
Your relationship with Xiao started to improve the day after you brewed him tea. You started greeting him in the mornings, and if he bought an extra bag of chips in your favorite flavor, he would give it to you. The two of you never talked more than necessary, and you wouldn’t call him a friend, but it was still better than what you had before.
Being on amicable terms with your roommate was more important than ever once college started, because you weren’t getting a minute of peace with your friends back on campus.
“Hey,” Childe said, slapping your neck before you could react. He had caught you unaware, leaving you no time to react as you were walking to class.
“Jerk,” you groaned. “That’s going to leave a bruise.”
“If that's enough to hurt, then you should consider going to the gym with me.” Childe shrugged. “What were you even doing this summer?”
“This and that. You know how busy it gets,” you said lightly, knowing Childe wouldn’t press for details. And he didn’t.
“No kidding! My family and I went camping this summer. You wouldn’t believe how excited Teucer was to catch his own fish for the first time. Of course…” Childe’s voice trailed off to static as the two of you walked. It didn’t really matter what you said to him, as long as you paid enough attention to react with the appropriate amount of surprise at the right parts.
You liked him well enough, but it’s not like he was really interested in what you thought, or how you were doing. That was fine, because you didn’t particularly invest a lot of time in Childe, either. You were friends, but only in the most casual sense. You hung out during the semester, and forgot about each other once it was over.
“Hey!” Childe yanked on one of the straps of your backpack, causing you to stumble to a halt. “Look at who it is.”
You turned to where he was gesturing, and could make out Scaramouche lounging at a table nearby, legs crossed as he scrolled through his phone with a scowl.
Without another word, Childe ran over to him, hooking his arms under Scaramouche’s shoulders to tug him upright. You headed over more slowly, just in time to catch Scaramouche cursing Childe out.
“You immature moron,” he hissed. “I almost dropped my phone!”
“It’s nice to see you again too!”
“Guys, people are staring,” you said.
Scaramouche rolled his eyes. “Oh, great. I can’t believe both of you are back on campus. Just my luck.”
“Tough luck, eh, Moochie?” Childe said.
“I told you not to call me that.” Scaramouche turned to you. “You. I’m thirsty after dealing with all of his shit. Get me coffee.”
“Oh, I want something too!” Childe said, slinging an arm around Scaramouche.
Scaramouche shuddered, opening his wallet to hand you a stack of bills. “The line’s going to get crowded soon. Hurry up.”
You took the money without comment. “Welcome back to campus, Scaramouche.”
“Yeah, whatever.”
You ambled off, the sound of Scaramouche’s and Childe’s bickering rising up behind you. The local coffee shop on campus wasn’t too far, but you relished in the peace and quiet and walked as slowly as you could. Just as Scaramouche predicted, customers were crowding the store and spilling out of the entrance, bored students with scarves around their necks and backpacks slung over their shoulders.
As you stood in line, you considered getting a drink of your own. Scaramouche had given you way too much money (classic trust fund kid behavior), and it’s not like he said you couldn’t. He always treated you like his personal gofer anyways, an annoying little attachment he had to put up with when he hung out with Childe. You saw how he looked at you, but you knew how to deal with his type, so you just grinned and bore it. There was no point in starting an argument if you could avoid it.
By the time it was your turn to order, you had decided against buying something for yourself. Scaramouche would be sure to comment on it, and you weren’t that thirsty anyways. You paid with his cash, took his and Childe’s drinks in both of your hands, and you were wondering if you could deliver their drinks in time before your next class when someone held the door of the shop open for you.
“Xiao?” you inquired, and he tilted his head curtly at you. You walked through the door and stepped to the side. “Thanks.”
Xiao waited until a few more people scurried out until he let go of the door to join you. “You’re drinking both of those?”
You shook your head. “No, these are for my friends.”
“You didn’t get one?”
You shrugged. “Hey, our rent is pricey. It wasn’t my money, anyways.”
Xiao glanced at the door of the coffee shop. “If you’re holding back for a reason like that, don’t. I can—”
“No! It’s okay!” You stepped in front of him, the coffee sloshing. “I wasn’t in the mood for it.”
Xiao let out a breath. “If the rent is troublesome, I could cover more of it.”
“I can’t let you do that. We have an agreement, remember? I’m picking up more hours at the library today, anyways, so that should help a bit more.”
“Today? What time are you getting home?”
“Er… 9, maybe?”
“Got it. I’ll walk you home, then,” Xiao said matter of factly.
“You don’t have to! I would feel bad, seriously. And I might get off late, and I don’t want to make you wait.”
Xiao shook his head. “No. It gets dangerous at night. I can study until you’re done. Text me when you are.”
Without another word, he left without giving you another chance to protest. It was nice how sweet he was. You felt a smile break across your face; neither Childe or Scaramouche would have offered to walk you home.
When you finally brought Scaramouche and Childe their drinks, Scaramouche took one look at you and said your smile was more obnoxious than usual.
—
You’d had your library job since your first year of college. It was just one of many different job applications you sent out into the world, desperate for a way to make your own cash so you didn’t have to owe your parents. Many places ghosted you, but the library was one of the few that replied. You had come to like being your job (as much as someone could, anyways). The hours were flexible, it was right on campus, and most of your duties consisted of helping students check out their textbooks. Sometimes your boss made you file information in the library’s systems or sort through the archives, but mostly, you threw yourself into mindless work and received a nice paycheck in return.
The first week of school was always busy, so you were stuck running around shelving lost books and answering confused students, completely forgetting about Xiao’s promise to pick you up until your phone buzzed at 9:15.
Are you done?
Shit. You fished your phone out of your pocket to type a quick reply.
sorry!!!! running late >_< u can head home first!!
Five seconds later, another text.
I’ll wait by the bike racks.
Your heart leaped.
ok!!
With a renewed burst of energy, you started swiftly shelving the rest of your books. You didn’t want to keep Xiao waiting for longer than he had to.
Fifteen minutes later, you said goodbye to your coworkers and ran out the door, hastily zipping your coat against the chill.
“Hey,” Xiao said. He was leaning against the bike rack, hands stuffed in the pockets of his jacket.
“I’m sorry I made you wait! I know it’s cold, and—”
“I chose to do this. It’s fine.”
You rubbed your hands together. “Right. Of course. Thanks again.”
Xiao ducked his head. “I offered.”
Silence again. Nothing but your breaths clouding the air, the stars winking in the sky above you. At least you didn’t feel the need to fill it with small talk.
“How were classes today?” you asked.
“Good. Yours?”
“Mine, too. What’re you studying?”
“Biology.”
You weren’t sure what you expected, but it certainly wasn’t that. “Can I ask why?”
“I want to get into veterinary school.”
“I didn’t know you liked animals,” you said, imagining Xiao surrounded by a group of excited puppies. It was surprisingly cute.
“It just… happened to work out like that,” he said slowly. “I wasn’t even sure if I could go to college at first.”
Could, he said. Not would. Did something happen to Xiao? But it wasn’t any of your business. You smiled instead. “It’s nice to have a dream.”
“What about you? Do you have any dreams?”
“I’m the same as most people,” you said lightly. “I’m just trying to get through the year first.”
“I know you’ll do well.”
“You say that so confidently,” you joked. “That’s a lot of trust you hold in me.”
“It’s because…” Xiao paused, as if choosing his words with great care. “…Ganyu told me a lot about you.”
“Oh, yeah. She said you guys had the same tutor.”
Xiao nodded. “We used to run into each other a lot. We grew up together.”
“I’m surprised I didn’t see you, then. Ganyu and I became friends in high school, and we hung out a lot.”
“I wasn’t home a lot in high school. Maybe that’s why,” he said, voice tense. You had stepped into sensitive territory, and you needed to retreat.
“Maybe. So, do you have a favorite animal?”
“I like birds.”
Time passed like that, with simple questions, an easy back and forth. You learned that Xiao liked the color green, and almond tofu, and rarely dreamed. Before you knew it, you reached the entrance of your apartment.
As the two of you tumbled into the warmth of your apartment, Xiao spoke again.
“I’m going to make tea. Do you want any?”
“That sounds great! I’ll set out the cups.”
For some reason, it felt like the stars shone twice as bright tonight.
—
It seemed Ganyu had a knack for roping you into situations you weren’t eager to get into. Maybe that’s why she was so successful at her office job; she probably had an easy time convincing clients to sign away their life savings with her gentle smile.
“You’re nervous,” she noted, as the two of you huddled in front of Zhongli’s door. “Don’t be. They already think you’re great.”
You stomped your feet, trying to regain a semblance of warmth. “We barely spoke, though. The longest sentence I’ve ever said to him was ‘hi, how are you today?’”
“It’ll be fine! It’s just a casual dinner. He just wanted to get to know you a bit better.”
“Because I’m rooming with Xiao, right?”
“I mean, yes. That is part of it. But…” The door swung open and Ganyu faltered. You knew that mischievous grin. Hu Tao appraised both of you, and then clapped her hands together.
“Esteemed guests, welcome, welcome to Hu Tao’s humble abode! We’ve been awaiting your presence with great eagerness!”
Zhongli’s daughter, you thought. She hadn’t changed much since you last saw her.
“Hello, Hu Tao,” Ganyu said. “I brought over my friend for dinner.”
Hu Tao took your hands in hers without warning. “Hello, hello! I haven’t seen you since Ganyu graduated! Dad’s basically done, so you guys can wait in the dining room.”
The two of you took off your shoes at the entrance of the house, setting them on a shoe rack nearby. Walking down the hall in your socks, you could hear the distant sounds of Hu Tao’s voice. The walls were covered in framed photos, pictures of academic men and women you didn’t know, and a few family photos of what you assumed was Zhongli’s family. A baby Hu Tao. A smiling woman holding hands with Zhongli. And Xiao.
Your eyes lingered on Xiao’s pictures. The youngest had him in elementary school, a pout on his face as he hugged his backpack close to him. There was one where he was holding the skirts of Zhongli’s wife. A few pictures of him in middle school, bandages covering his knees as he stared grimly at the camera. There were no photos of him after that. Had your roommate really been so little once? At least his scowl hadn’t changed much.
“He was cute as a kid, wasn’t he?” Ganyu said.
You started; she was already at the end of the hall, leaning against the frame of the dining room. You had been so engrossed in Xiao’s pictures that you didn’t even notice.
“He’s not that different from how he is now,” you said lightly. You hadn’t done anything wrong, but you tore your eyes away and hurried to meet her.
The dining table was already set by the time you arrived. A bubbling pot sat in the middle, a divider separating the spicy and mild broth. Plates of ingredients sat around it, little bowls of fish cakes and sausages, mushrooms and fried tofu. Sauce bottles stood guard at the end of the table, where napkins, chopsticks and bowls had been set out in front of four different chairs.
Zhongli and Hu Tao already sat at two. You took the next next to Ganyu, clicking your chopsticks together absently.
“I brought you something, Professor Zhongli,” Ganyu said, pulling out a little box of pineapple cakes from her purse. “Thank you for having us over.”
Zhongli took the package, his eyes crinkling at the corners as he smiled at her. “It’s my pleasure. Sit down and fill your plate. Have you been eating since you started your job? There’s no excuse to skimp on a good meal.”
“I have. Don’t worry,” Ganyu said.
“Come on, dad. She’s going to starve to death if you keep talking,” Hu Tao said cheerily, throwing several of the ingredients into the pot before her.
“Of course. Come on now, don’t hold back.” Zhongli turned to you. You tried not to avoid his gaze. “You should eat a lot as well.”
“I will,” you said.
And so dinner began. Ganyu only ate vegetables, and Hu Tao dumped most of the meat in the spicy side of the pot. Zhongli took a little bit of everything, but kept discreetly placing vegetables on Hu Tao’s plate. It was mostly Zhongli who did the talking, asking Ganyu questions about her job, Hu Tao chiming in with a joke once in a while. You tried to keep the attention off of yourself, speaking as little as you could get away without seeming impolite.
Hu Tao was cute, and Zhongli was nice. But Zhongli, intentionally or not, intimidated you. He always seemed to pick up on the undertones of what Ganyu and Hu Tao said; even if Ganyu said her job was going well, he would simply raise an eyebrow and remind her not to overwork herself. You wondered what he saw when he looked at you. Nothing got by him, and that was why he was the sort of person you didn’t know how to interact with.
“I heard you were rooming with Xiao?” Zhongli spoke up suddenly, and everyone’s eyes were on you. You picked at the food on your plate, brought it to your mouth and swallowed as you tried to think of what to say.
“Yeah. He’s been a great roommate.”
“I’m glad to hear it. I was worried at first when he said he would live on his own, but if he has someone to support him, then that’s all the better.”
“You know, I’m sure Xiao was happy when you moved in,” Hu Tao said, a grin growing on her face. She pointed with her chopsticks, a piece of fish caught between them.
“I’m sure he would have been happy if anyone moved in,” you said, shrugging. “It’s not like we knew each other beforehand.”
The piece of fish slipped between her chopsticks, and Hu Tao hurried to pick it up, still speaking rapidly. “Huh? He hasn’t made a move or anything like that?”
“You know how he is. Xiao keeps to himself, and I do the same. I mean, we do get along, but why would he?”
“Well— that’s because—”
“Professor!” Ganyu clapped her hands together, cutting Hu Tao off. “Do you have any dessert? I’m sure Hu Tao would love to eat something sweet right now. What about you?” She turned to you, and you could see her leg bouncing up and down the table, so you nodded. Ganyu beamed. “Great. Hu Tao and I will go get some!”
Without allowing the girl a word of protest, Ganyu got up, grabbing her by the arm, leaving you and Zhongli sitting at the table alone.
Zhongli only chuckled. “Forgive Hu Tao. She’s still young, and she likes to poke fun at people where she can.”
“It’s fine. I don’t mind at all.” Think, think. Was there anything the two of you had in common? “Do you remember the times when Ganyu used to get tutoring from you and I would wait for her here? You used to give me my favorite snacks. I never properly thanked you for that.”
“I appreciate the gesture, but it’s not me you should be thanking. The recipient of your gratitude… well, they mostly likely prefer to remain anonymous.” He grinned, and it reminded you a little of Hu Tao in how sly it looked.
“I see,” you said slowly. The three of them knew something you did not, but since Ganyu and Zhongli were clearly reluctant to share, you wouldn’t pry, at least.
Your phone rang in your pocket, and you pulled it out of your pocket to glance at the caller ID. It was your dad.
“Do you need a minute?” Zhongli asked.
You ended the call. “No. It’s not important.”
“I hope you and Xiao can look out for each other,” Zhongli continued. “He’s been through a lot. I think he would appreciate having a friend by his side.”
Look out for each other, huh? Why couldn’t Zhongli tell Xiao any of this himself? What had happened between the two of them?
“We’re back!” Hu Tao said, bursting in with a plate of cut fruit while Ganyu carried a plate of pastries. “Everyone ready for round two?”
You picked a cut of plum from Hu Tao’s plate with a toothpick, and the tart sweetness momentarily chased away your questions about Xiao.
—
There wasn’t a lot of time to ponder Zhongli’s words with college back in full swing. You had a job to worry about on top of classes, and between your shifts and your assignments, it didn’t leave a lot of room for much else.
Xiao always insisted on walking you home every time you had a late shift. You had told him he didn’t need to, that you had done this a million times before, but he would still wait for you in the same spot every night.
The two of you had grown more comfortable together, and you would make the effort to spend your free time together. You still made him tea after his morning runs, and there was no longer such a strict divide between your food in the fridge; you regularly borrowed ingredients from each other, and you even started sharing an egg carton. It was cheaper that way, you reasoned, but it also made the apartment feel like home.
One night, as you often did lately, you and Xiao browsed through channels on the television and settled on a cheesy comedy show, sitting side by side on the couch. Well, you watched, and he would scroll through his phone when he got bored.
“It’s snowing,” Xiao said unexpectedly, staring at the living room window.
You paused the show. “No way.” As if on cue, the two of you headed to the window, pulling back the curtains to press your noses against the frosted glass. You were greeted with soft, fluffy flakes which dusted the windowsill, the stars making soft halos in the distance.
Impulsively, you headed for the door. “Let’s go out and see.”
“Right now?”
“Right now!”
You and Xiao clumsily tugged on your sneakers and pulled on your coats. In another breath, you tumbled down the stairs, skidding across the slick pavement.
“Snow!” you said, waving your arms wildly. “It’s real snow, Xiao!”
The stars shone in his eyes as he watched you. “Don’t fall.”
You laughed, sticking out your tongue to catch snowflakes. “We could build a snowman.”
“There’s not enough snow.”
“That’s quitter talk,” you said, crouching down to drag a finger through the film of snow that covered the ground. “But when it snows enough… you have to. Promise?”
“... Promise.”
“Let’s go! I’ve never made a snowman before, did you know that? This will be my first one!”
“I haven’t either.”
“Ah, look at us. Two peas in a pod,” you said, grinning. “To tell you the truth, I don’t know how to ride a bike, either. Ganyu tried to teach me once, but I ended up crashing on the side of the road, and…” Your voice trailed off as you turned to look at Xiao.
Xiao was smiling. He was smiling at you. You jumped to your feet, and despite the cold, your cheeks were warm.
“Sorry. I didn’t realize I was talking so much,” you said.
“I like listening to you talk.”
You exhaled, looking at the sky above you. Some of those stars were already dead, you thought. Only their light reached you now, a ghost traveling lightyears across the universe. “I don’t normally like to talk so much about myself. But… I guess… you’re easy to talk to. I’m glad I moved in with you. I’m glad you’re my roommate and my friend.”
“To me, you–” A sudden ring cut through Xiao’s words. You fumbled for your phone in your pocket, internally cursing at the interruption.
“Sorry, let me take this real quick,” you said apologetically. Xiao nodded, and you pressed answer without looking at the screen.
“So you finally picked up our calls?” A voice, colder than the night around you, echoed in your ear.
It was your dad. Oh, god. You were so stupid. You should have checked to see who was calling. You should have been more careful. You should have blocked him, but you—
“Not going to respond? Your mom and I are tired of your games. Don’t think we’re going to let you do whatever you like–”
You hung up, dropping your phone in your haste. “Sorry!” you said, bending down to pick it up. Your hands were shaking too much for you to grip it properly. “I’m sorry. That… That, um, I…” Xiao picked up your phone. You stood slowly, avoiding his gaze as you took it from him, slipping it back into your pocket. “Thanks.”
“It’s fine. You don’t need to apologize. Let’s go back inside.” Xiao put an arm around your shoulders, before withdrawing it just as quickly.
“Hey,” you said, reaching for his arm to slip it back around you. “I didn’t say you had to stop.”
Xiao didn’t look at you as the two of you stumbled back up the stairs, but he held you reassuringly tight. At the entrance of your apartment, he paused. “I’ll make us tea.”
You leaned against him, squeezing your arms around him for a quick hug. “Thanks, Xiao.”
“I’ll always be here for you. Just call my name.”
You chuckled softly. When he said it like that, it made you want to stay in his arms forever.
—
“We’re skipping class.”
You looked up from your textbook, your pencil hovering over an unfinished sentence in your notes. Scaramouche and Childe stood in front of you. From the way Scaramouche talked, it seemed less like a statement and more like a command.
“Have fun,” you said.
“You’re coming with us.”
You waved your pencil in the air. “Me? No thanks. I have to study. Some of us can’t afford to slack off.”
“Take a break!” Childe urged, slinging his arm around your shoulder. “The books will still be here when you get back.”
“I can’t.”
“Not even if I pay for food?” Childe said slyly.
On most days, that offer would have worked. But you simply shook your head. “Can’t. My roommate is making dinner.”
“Roommate?” Scaramouche tilted his head. “I thought you lived at home.”
“Well— things have changed,” you said curtly. Damn it. Scaramouche was the last person you wanted to know about your personal life.
“Maybe your parents kicked you out,” Scaramouche mused. “Or did you run away from home?”
You slammed your hands down on the table, but he only crossed his arms, daring you to try something. Childe’s eyes sparkled with interest, but made no move to interfere. You were on your own.
“It doesn’t really matter why,” you said through gritted teeth. “Sorry I didn’t tell you earlier.”
“Sorry? I bet you wouldn’t have told us at all,” Scaramouche said, scoffing. “Whatever. If you ever feel like doing something fun, ask Childe for the details.”
Scaramouche stalked off, and Childe only gave you a smile before following. You sank down into your seat, but your eyes couldn’t focus on your textbook. You reread the same paragraph three times before you finally flipped it shut. You couldn’t focus, so you might as well go home. Xiao was still at work, but he would be home soon, and you could crowd the kitchen together, shoulders bumping as you cooked, before sinking onto the couch to laugh and eat.
The walk home was a blur as you sped along the sidewalks. At the bottom floor of your apartment, your phone rang. It was an unknown number. You answered, putting your phone between your shoulder and ear as you searched for your keys in your bag.
“Hello?” you asked.
“So you’ll only pick up the number of a stranger, but not your own dad? I’m disappointed.”
Your keys fell out of your hands. You leaned against the wall, trying to steady your breathing. “What do you want?”
“That’s no way to talk to your own father. I wanted to check in on you, but I see you haven’t changed at all.”
“Well, Dad. It’s nice to talk to you, but I really should be going—”
“It’s time for you to come home. When are you going to stop these childish games?”
“It’s not childish.” Your voice cracked, and you hated yourself for not keeping your composure.
“It is. What was it you said? That you would show us that you could make it on your own? I thought you would be too old for temper tantrums, but it appears I was wrong. Just come back. You’re never going to end up anywhere at this rate. What are you even studying in college?”
“I’m still… undecided,” you said, the words sticking in your throat.
“Undecided? Even though you’re in your third year?” Your dad sighed, loudly. “Enough. I see you still can’t listen to reason. Fine. You’ll come back on your own, soon enough. But don’t expect me to open the door until you learn some humility, do you hear me?”
Silence. He wanted something from you; an outburst, probably. For you to beg to go home. But… the place you called home… you had already found it.
“That’s fine, then,” you whispered, mouth dry. “Because I’m never going to come back. Don’t contact me again.”
You ended the call before your dad could respond, falling to the ground, trying to control your trembling. This time, you made sure to block your parents’ numbers and the number your dad just called you from. You wouldn’t answer any strange numbers for a while; had he called you from a phone booth? Borrowed a friend’s phone? Either way, it didn’t matter.
It was laughable how weak you were. A few cold words and you were on the verge of tears. No wonder you were a disappointment to them. An average child, with mediocre grades, with few friends. You had no particular talents, no real hobbies, and the best you could do was run away from home.
But you hadn’t blocked their numbers or erased them as your emergency contacts at your college. Because the fact you were their child meant something, didn’t it? If you got into trouble, surely they would come running.
Even if you weren’t what they wanted. Even if they were never home. Even if you learned to smile and keep your head down, just like they told you to.
If you proved you were independent– if you proved you could do something, at least one thing right– maybe they would acknowledge you.
Your dad was right. You were a child. You didn’t feel like an adult at all. For the longest time, you thought that if you made it to eighteen, you would finally feel like a grown-up. There would be some switch, and you would finally get it together. Adulthood was your only goal, but it was just a number. When you turned eighteen, it wasn’t all that different from being seventeen, or thirteen, or eight.
What did it mean to be an adult? You learned how to lie like one, but it still wasn’t enough. When would you know? When would you be worth something? Maybe you’d have to carry that child around inside you forever.
Hands trembling, you dialed Ganyu’s number only to get her voicemail. You tried again, but paused, remembering that it was still early in the afternoon. She was at work. She made it into a prestigious company, and look at you. You couldn’t even choose your own major. No, it’d be better to just leave a voicemail telling her what had happened today.
Your finger hovered over Xiao’s number, but you couldn’t bring him into your problems. That left only one person to call.
“Childe. Where did you say you and Scaramouche were going?”
—
Music pounded in your ears, loud and heavy, neon lights flickering across the ceiling. A throng of people you only vaguely recognized crowded Scaramouche’s penthouse, but it was too late to regret your decision. As soon as you showed up, you had been pushed inside, handed a cup of alcohol, and thrown around the sea of bodies, back and forth, back and forth.
Someone waved at you through the crowd. You waved back weakly, grip tight on the drink you didn’t want. They pushed their way through. “There you are! I thought you changed your mind and wouldn’t show,” Childe said cheerily.
“Well, surprise. I thought Scaramouche hated parties.”
“Oh, he does. But he got into another argument with his mom this morning, so he’s trying to trash his apartment in revenge.”
“That’s stupid,” you said sourly. “And immature.”
Childe leaned closer to you. “So, why did you change your mind? Hate your roommate’s food?”
“No. Xiao is a decent cook.”
“Xiao… Your roommate is Xiao?” Childe said slowly.
“Do you know him?”
“Sort of. But… no way… hold on, I have to call Scaramouche over. He’ll love this.” Before you could stop him, Childe barreled through the crowd, returning a few minutes with Scaramouche.
“What’s the big deal?” Scaramouche snarled.
“Tell him who your roommate is,” Childe said, turning to you.
Unease pooled in your stomach. “His name… his name is Xiao.”
“Shit. Are you serious?” Scaramouche’s foul expression dropped, replaced by something you didn’t want to name. “No wonder you didn’t want to tell us you moved out.”
“What do you mean?”
“You don’t know?” Childe whistled. “It’s a long story, but years ago, I transferred to a different high school in the middle of the year, right? The one Xiao went to. And the dude was infamous there. Apparently he was so wild even the security guards were scared of him. He kept getting into fights, and winning all of them. Of course, I tried to see if he would have a go with me, but he kept avoiding me.”
“Fights?” Your heart was racing. That seemed nothing like the Xiao you knew. “But why?”
Childe shrugged. “Who knows? But the point is he was so notorious the nearby stores refused to let him in. I heard the cops were called at several points, and…” Childe lowered his voice. “Someone died. He was bad news. I doubt he’s changed.”
Stop, you wanted to tell him. Stop. You didn’t want to hear anymore. You couldn’t. It felt like you were betraying Xiao. But why hadn’t anyone told you? Ganyu, Zhongli, Hu Tao… they just kept quiet.
Scaramouche slapped you on the back, hard. Your drink sloshed. “Wow. Poor you. Rooming with a monster all this time, and you didn’t even know! Want to move out?” His voice was loud, louder than it had to be.
Scaramouche gripped your shoulders painfully. He was looking somewhere to the side, so you followed his gaze slowly… and your eyes met Xiao’s.
Xiao turned and disappeared into the crowds. Your stomach dropped. How much had he heard? Why was he here? What face were you making? No. No, that wasn’t important. What was important was how hurt he looked and that you had been the one to place it there.
You shoved Scaramouche, your head swimming. “What the fuck?” you hissed. “Why did you say that?”
“I was just helping you out,” he said sympathetically.
“No, you weren’t. You prick. You knew he was listening! Why are you like this?”
Scaramouche’s face hardened, and he stepped so close that you almost tripped trying to back away. “Me? Me? You have a lot of nerve. Ask yourself the same question. You don’t even like me. Admit it. You think I can’t tell how fake you are? You always act like you’re soooo nice and polite, but the truth is, you don’t care about other people. That’s right,” he sneered, shoving his face closer to you. “You just don’t want to get involved. So drop the act.”
The music hurt your head. The lights were too bright. But you couldn’t give him the satisfaction of making you cry.
You threw your drink at Scaramouche’s face. Childe laughed. Scaramouche yelled, looking at you like he wanted to kill you, but you were already pushing through the crowd, running towards the door.
There was only one person on your mind.
—
You ran down the sidewalks without a care, scanning wildly to see where Xiao could have gone. Oh, god. He saw you. He heard you. How much? Why was he even there?
It was raining. When did it start raining? Water dripped down your face, but you couldn’t tell it apart from your tears as your feet pounded down the road in wild abandon. Xiao. Where did he go?
Wait. You had his number. You pulled out your phone, holding your breath as you called him. No response. Who else could you contact?
You tripped, a bright burst of pain flaring through your knee as you landed on it, hard. Panting, you crouched to assess the damage. Your pants had ripped, and blood ran down your leg, but none of it hurt more than losing Xiao.
First, your dad called. Then, you went to Scaramouche’s stupid party. And now, Xiao was gone, maybe forever, because you hurt him.
Wiping at your face was useless, but you did so anyway, despite your soggy sleeve.
Wait. There was someone who might know where he is.
You dialed Ganyu’s number, and this time, she picked up. “Hello!”
“Xiao…” You burst out crying again, tears trickling into your mouth. “Xiao, he…”
“Xiao? Did something happen to him?” Ganyu sounded frantic.
“No! No… Not like that… I… Ganyu, I messed up. I think I hurt him, and I don’t know where he is, and I…”
“Deep breaths! Take deep breaths. It’ll be okay,” Ganyu said soothingly. “Tell me what happened.” You related the story as best as you could through your sobs. When you stopped, Ganyu murmured in sympathy. “Oh, no. I’m so sorry. I… I was the one who told him where you would be.”
“Huh?”
“You left me that voicemail, right? When Xiao came home, he was worried about you, so he called me. And I told him you left me a message and you might have gone to your friend’s house, and…” She sighed. “No, this isn’t the time for this. Listen. I think… I think he might be at the professor’s house. So…”
“Thanks, Ganyu. I’ll head over right now.”
“Wait! Wait, wait. Don’t blame yourself, okay? Can you promise me that?”
“I’ll try,” you said. “But I have to go.”
“Okay. Okay, I understand. Call me when you find him.”
Ignoring the pain in your leg, you started down the road to Zhongli’s house. It was a thirty minute walk, but you couldn’t afford to wait another second.
Xiao. You couldn’t lose him. Because… because to you, he was…
You pounded on the door of Zhongli’s house as soon as you got there. Hu Tao opened with a cheerful “Hello, welcome to Hu Tao’s–” only to stop when she saw you.
“Is Xiao here?” you asked, trying to smile.
You looked like shit, but she nodded firmly, all humor gone from her face. “Yeah. Are you okay?”
“Never better.”
“Come in, come in. You look cold.”
You did as she said, remembering to take off your shoes as you entered. You hovered near the door, afraid to step farther into the house. There was already a puddle forming around your feet. Hu Tao disappeared around the corner, and just before you wondered if it would be better to leave, she came back with some towels, Xiao following closely on her heels.
“Xiao,” you gasped out, but before you could say anything else he wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into a hug.
“What happened? Did someone hurt you?”
You buried your head into his shoulder, gripping the fabric of his shirt like a lifeline.
“I’ll just leave these… here…” Hu Tao murmured, setting the towels on the floor, backing away.
You wanted to thank her, but neither you nor Xiao could let go of each other. “I’m fine. I… I was just looking for you. I don’t know what you heard at the party, but–”
“You’re wet,” Xiao said abruptly, pulling back. He picked up one of the towels Hu Tao left, wrapping it around your shoulders. “Clean up first before you get sick. Then we can talk.” He grabbed your hand gently, guiding you down the hallway. You stopped in front of the bathroom, where Xiao hesitated. “You should shower. I’ll get you clean clothes. And I can wash the one you’re wearing.”
“Wait.” You clung to Xiao’s hand, refusing to let him leave. “I’m sorry. I need you to know that first. I-I’ve never thought of you as a horrible person.”
He squeezed your hand. “Even if you did, I wouldn’t blame you.”
“But I don’t.”
“Then it’s fine,” he said simply. “Clean off, first.”
In the bathroom, you turned on the water as hot as it would go, until the mirror above the sink clouded over and your wounds stung. You washed yourself as best as you could, with someone’s unfamiliar lavender scented shampoo. When you turned the water off, you discovered that someone had left behind towels, slippers and a pair of worn pajamas on the sink. Your old clothes were gone; probably thrown into the wash, as Xiao had said. You dried yourself, pulled on the new clothes, and padded out into the hallway. Xiao was leaning against the wall, arms crossed.
“Follow me.” He led you down the hall, around the corner, and up a creaky stairway. The door farthest from the stairs was ajar, and as you walked in, you realized it was Xiao’s old bedroom. There was only a bed, a desk, and a drawer; if not for his backpack and the computer on the desk, you would have doubted that someone lived there.
Xiao pointed at the bed, and you sat, sinking into the comforter. Once you did, Xiao went to one of the drawers and pulled out a first aid kit, kneeling in front of you to dab at your cuts with antiseptic.
“Thanks,” you said.
“Right.”
“So…” You tried not to fidget as Xiao carefully placed a bandage over your wound. “What happened?”
“You didn’t come home in time today.” When he was done, he sat next to you. He was short enough that his feet didn’t touch the ground. “You weren’t responding to my calls, so I asked Ganyu, and she told me you might be with your other friends. I asked around to see where they might have gone, and someone told me about the party, so I went.”
He had called you? “I didn’t see. Shit.”
“It doesn’t matter. I…” Silence. Xiao contemplated his next words as you chewed your lip. “I’m sorry.”
“For what?” you asked in astonishment.
“For not telling you the truth. I didn’t want you to think of me like that, so I told Ganyu to hide it from you. But that was unfair of me.”
You shook your head. “No. I was a stranger, and it wasn’t my place to know. You should have been able to tell me about it on your own time, when you were ready.”
“Even if everything your friend said was true?” he said quietly. “I am dangerous, and you have the right to know. I got into fights a lot. Not because I wanted to, but to protect myself. It started when I fought off someone who was hurting my friend, but then he came back the next day with more people. And then, rumors spread. People started to seek me out, and I kept hitting back.”
“But it wasn’t your fault. You were just trying to protect yourself.”
He smiled bitterly. “Yes, but then my friends got involved. A few of them started to back me up in fights, and then one of them… died because of it. So I decided I had to leave. It was too dangerous, and I didn’t want to lose any of my other friends, or to get my family hurt.”
“Xiao…” There was nothing you could say to soothe the pain in his voice. So that was why he had been living on his own, and why there were only pictures of him when he was young at Zhongli’s house.
“My dad was Zhongli’s younger brother. He took me in when no one else would, but all I did was make him worry. I couldn’t repay him for what he did for me.”
“I don’t think Zhongli wants repayment,” you said quietly. “I think he just wants you to be happy.”
“For me to be happy…?” Xiao repeated.
“Hey. If we’re apologizing, I need to do so again,” you said.
“Don’t. You didn’t do anything wrong–”
“I did,” you interrupted. “I shouldn’t have let my friends talk about you like that. But I shouldn’t have been friends with them in the first place. And… I’m not that great of a person, either. I… I also ran away from home. I just wanted to prove I could, I guess. That I could survive on my own, make something of myself. But I haven’t. My parents were… are… disappointed in me. I just wasn’t what they wanted.”
“You’re not your parents’ trophy,” Xiao said slowly. “You don’t have anything to prove to them.”
“But–”
“You’re a good person, even if they can’t see that.”
“How can you know that?” you asked.
“Because you helped me.”
“Huh?”
“In high school,” he clarified. “I guess you don’t remember after all.”
“What did I do?” You searched through your memories, but came up blank. If you had met someone like Xiao, you would never have forgotten it.
“You gave me an umbrella,” he said. “When it was raining. You saw me without one, and ran up to me. You told me you liked the rain, so you were okay without one. I wanted to find you again, but Ganyu recognized the umbrella you gave me. Ever since then, I wanted to talk to you. But I had too many enemies, and it was too risky, so I couldn’t approach you.”
Something clicked in your head as Xiao talked. The night you went to Zhongli’s house for hot pot… his cryptic words, and Ganyu’s strange behavior… You clapped your hands together. “No way! Xiao, did you buy my favorite snacks and ask Zhongli to give them to me?”
He flushed. “Who told you?”
You grinned at his reaction. “No one! I just figured it out. Did Ganyu tell you what sort of snacks I like?”
“... I used to ask her about you. And that was the only way I could think of to show my gratitude. Sorry.”
“Don’t apologize! It’s cute. I owe you, my snack knight,” you teased.
“... Snack knight?”
“The snack knight is the protector of savory treats across the realm.”
Xiao started fidgeting with his fingers. “So, now that you know…”
“Yes?”
“If you want to move out, I understand.”
“Huh? No way! I want to stay with you forever,” you said earnestly.
At your words, Xiao’s face reddened. You could also feel your cheeks heating up as you realized what you just said.
“Anyways!” you said hastily. “There’s a lot I need to do…oh, shit. I threw alcohol at Scaramouche’s face. I just remembered…”
“What?”
“He said horrible things about you. It’s the least he deserves.”
Xiao leaned forward, resting his forehead against yours. “If you talk to him, let me come with you. I’ll keep you safe.”
You smiled, wrapping your arms around his neck so you could pull him down onto the bed with you. “Okay. Sure. But I don’t want to deal with that right now. So…”
“So?”
“Let’s nap a bit. I’m tired.”
“I’ll get you some blankets–”
“Whoa! No moving.” Your arms moved down to his waist so you could pull him closer. You didn’t miss how Xiao stiffened at the movement, or how he tried to hide his face. “Stay with me.”
“...If that’s what you want.”
“Oh, I want it. You know, other than Ganyu, I don’t think I’ve ever told someone so much about myself. You’re special to me, Xiao.”
“You’re special to me, too,” he said quietly.
You closed your eyes, curling against Xiao’s comforting warmth. There was still so much you had to do. You still needed to sort things out with your family and your friends… ex-family and ex-friends, you supposed. And there was college, and your job, and the horribly unpredictable future. But all you wanted to do was hold Xiao close as raindrops drummed on the roof.
There would be a time for all of that later. Right here, right now, you were with Xiao, and that was all you needed.
#liya writes#genshin impact#xiao#xiao x reader#xiao genshin x reader#xiao genshin impact#genshin impact imagines#genshin impact x reader#ITS DONE!!!!#I can hardly believe how long this ended up being OTL#anyways if you gave this a read. thank you! i hope you liked it <3
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365 Days of Writing Prompts: Day 218
Adjective: Sweet
Noun: Haunt
Definitions for those who need/want them:
Sweet: having the pleasant taste characteristic of sugar or honey, or not salty, sour, or bitter; (of air, water, or food) fresh, pure, and untainted; smelling pleasant like flowers or perfume, or fragrant; pleasing in general, or delightful; highly satisfying or gratifying; (informal) used to express approval or admiration, or excellent; working, moving, or done smoothly or easily; (US) denoting music, especially jazz, played at a steady tempo without improvisation; (of a person or action) pleasant and kind or thoughtful; (especially of a person or animal) charming and endearing; (dated) (informal) infatuated or in love with; dear, or beloved; (archaic) used as a respectful form of address; used for emphasis in various phrases and exclamations; used to emphasize the unpredictable individuality of someone's actions
Haunt: a place frequented by a specified person or group of people; a ghost; a place or event involving a ghost or spirit haunting a person, location, or object
#my girlfriend and i went to see the barbie movie today#sadly it was rather disappointing and neither of us liked it nearly as much as we wanted to or we were hoping we would#also our theatre experience wasnt great cos there were a bunch of little kids (all around ten years old) in the last row#and they were being inappropriate throughout the film but especially at the serious and heartfelt moments#(they were talking and giggling and making gross noises like burping loudly)#and it was clear they did not want to be there cos when the movie ended one of them loudly said 'finally!'#it was just horrible and luckily someone sitting in the row in front of us shushed them during the final serious moment of the movie#anyway i gave it 3/5 stars on letterboxd and did not give it a heart for liking it#between this and everything everywhere all at once (which i gave 3 and a half/5 stars and no heart)#im questioning if my standards for comedy in films is too high#however my girlfriend and i watched yesterday (2019) with my dad well yesterday (it was a rewatch for my dad and i)#and we all really love the comedy in it so riddle me that#anyhoo for the prompt#i added a definition to 'haunt' as i couldnt find it anywhere but i know it is used in the same vein as 'haunting'#but i see this as an opportunity to write about someone who has passed away coming back to 'haunt' a loved one in a gentle and loving way#as a way to look out for them if you will and hence 'sweet'#and im looking forward to writing that#thanks for reading#writing#writer#creative writing#writing prompt#writeblr#trying to be a writeblr at least
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hi sie!! i'm happy to see that your requests are open and would like to request something myself c:
1. seonghwa
2. roommate au
3. prompts 11 and 17
4. with spice please 🙏
thanks so much! i rly appreciate you and your writing even if you can't get to this 💕
I hope you like this!!! really enjoyed writing this one :)
—
sleep-talker || p.sh (m.)
“You know you sleep talk?”
“Stop looking at me like that.
🌊pairing ⇢ (fem) reader x roommate! Seonghwa
🌊 summary ⇢ when you and your friends decide on a trip to the beach for spring break, you get stuck rooming with the man you "hate" the most. The line between love and hate is as thin as ice, and you were about to break it.
🌊 genre/au ⇢ roommates au, vacation au, one bed trope, forced proximity au, smut
🌊 warnings/tags ⇢ 18+ minors DNI, wet dreams, fingering, rough sex, unprotected sex, cream pie, PDA, "enemies" to lovers, one-bed trope, teasing, jealousy, intense tension like holy hell
🌊 word count ⇢ 10.2k words
🌊 taglist ⇢ @jjhmk @yesv01 @roe-sinning @meowmeowminnie @yeritheloml @yukine-smx @y00nzin0 @8tinytings @halesandy @shegotboreddsoo @kangyeosangelic @sanshineeeeee @kodzukein @hwaightme @likexaxdaydream @ssaboala @gtr-skyline-lover @wooyoungjpg @lonewolfjinji @asjkdk @charreddonuts (please let me know if I forgot you!)
masterlist
ateez masterlist
“Are you for real right now?”
Spring break. A time for rest, relaxation, and lots and lots of sex.
And now, your plans of being a whore for the vacation were ruined.
“Yes, y/n. I can't afford another room just for you to have to yourself,” Hongjoong, your older brother, mumbled as he stuffed the last bit of clothes into his luggage. “You’ll have to room with Seonghwa. San and Wooyoung already called each other.”
He zipped up his suitcase and stood up to leave, but he couldn't get off that easily. “Please, Joong. I’ll do anything. Cant I just room with you and Mingi?” he hastily made his way out of his room and into the living room, trying his hardest to get away from you. “I’ll sleep on the floor. No blanket, just the floor. Please.”
He turned to face you, a confused expression on his face. “Why are you so adamant about not staying with Hwa? What did he ever do to you?” he asked you, genuinely curious. The truth is, he did nothing to you personally. Maybe that was why you hated him, because god, if he gave you the time of day, you would pounce on him like a cat in heat.
You groaned, running a hand through your messy, unwashed hair. “Because he’s a dumb ass jerk that gets everything he wants.”
Hongjoong laughed at you and turned away. “It's only a week, y/n. He’ll probably spend most of his time in our room, anyway. Just bring a book to read or something to distract yourself.”
As if reading is the thing you'll be focused on if you were in a room with him. Oh Nah, you'll be wishing he’d walk around shirtless and hoping he somehow takes a shower and walks out with nothing on—
“I hope you're packed and ready….” Joong trailed off as he looked at your messy exterior, and stifled a laugh. “And if you're thinking of getting laid, you might want to shower.”
You slapped him on the shoulder, having no drive to shower. You'll get one when you get there. It's not like you were that stinky.
“Shut up, dickhead.”
You stood on the sidewalk of your apartment building, Hongjoong’s little yellow Geo Tracker sitting there lookin’ all cute. However, the tiny thing only had five seats.
There were six of you.
“Welp looks like I can't go! What a shame, what a shame,” you sarcastically yelled out, tossing your hands in the air exasperatedly. “Have fun without me!”
“Shut your mouth, will you?” Hongjoong groaned, tossing your luggage into the “trunk” or whatever it was. “It's only a ride to the airport. You can sit on someone’s lap for ten minutes.”
You crossed your arms over your chest. “Why am I the one that has to do that? Wooyoung is like the size of my arm. He can do it.”
Joong shut the trunk with force at your comment, totally disregarding you. “Hop in,” he said. “Enjoy shotgun while you have the chance.”
You got in reluctantly, even though you were very excited about the beach itself. Your excitement was short-lived as you approached the devil’s lair.
“Stay here, I’ll go help them,” Hongjoong mumbled, pushing his sunglasses up on his forehead as he put the car in park.
You nodded, your arms crossed over your chest. You didn't mind the rest of the group— San and Wooyoung always knew how to make you laugh, and Mingi was absolutely eye candy. You wouldn't mind sitting on his lap on the way to the airport.
Just as you got comfortable with your head resting against the window, the door abruptly opened, causing you to nearly fall out of the vehicle. “For fuck’s sake, who the hell—” your words got caught in your throat as you met eyes with Park fucking Seonghwa. “Oh, it's you…”
He stood there, his thin torso draped in a sheer white top and his long, lean legs covered in a pair of black pants. You swallowed your drool like a schoolgirl, making sure he never knows how you think of him.
“What?” you raised your eyebrow, not moving an inch and not even reaching to unplug your seatbelt. “This seat’s taken, buddy.”
He snickered, his lips mockingly curled up in a sneer. “Oh, aren't you a sweetheart? Now move, I called shotgun.”
“Well, I did first.”
“No, you didn't.”
“Yes, I did.”
“No.”
“Yes—”
“Neither of you are getting shotgun,” your brother laughed from behind Seonghwa, San and Wooyoung giggling like the goofs they are next to him. You still didn't move, even as Joong approached and unbuckled your seatbelt for you. “Y/N, please help me out here.”
You debated on throwing a fit, but knowing that it would just cause more problems, you sighed and pushed yourself out of the front seat. Now standing on the curb of the sidewalk right in front of Seonghwa, you tilted your head up to look him in the eyes. His gaze was intense—it made you envision what it would be like in bed, looking down at him from above, and how his eyebrows would knit together in pleasure. God, you needed to get laid this vacation, or you were going to be suffering from delusions.
Without warning, Mingi pushed through both of you, interrupting your staring contest.
“We better go, I don't want to listen to their bickering any longer,” the tall boy huffed as he plopped himself in the front seat, a proud smile resting on his lips.
San sat in the backseat on the right, Wooyoung next to him in the middle. That left either you or seonghwa to fight to the death for that last seat, but you knew how this was going to end.
And it wasn't going to end well.
—
“You comfortable, y/n?” your brother called from the driver’s seat, looking back at you through the rearview mirror.
You frowned so deeply you could've sworn your face was permanently stuck like that.
There you were, in the back of the car, in the most uncomfortable seat ever. Seonghwa groaned underneath you, his bony body not offering you any wiggle room. You didn't answer your brother, you were certain your expression was enough of a response.
You adjusted yourself on Seonghwa’s lap, looking out the window for any distraction. As you moved, you felt him move his hips, and you had to shut away your filthy thoughts about him as soon as they came. Between his movements and his groans, your stomach was knotting in something more than butterflies.
The car was filled with conversation, however, you and Seonghwa remained quiet and in your own little worlds. As the others bantered, you pushed yourself up further on his lap, grimacing as you heard him let out a grunt in your ear.
And then when his hands gripped onto your bare thighs, you were the one to gasp.
“Stop moving,” he whispered in your ear with haste, almost like a sneer. You kept your vision forward as his breath danced in your ear. “It hurts.”
You swallowed hard. “Oh? Is your little dick that sensitive?” you whispered back, smirking. You moved again, this time on purpose, feeling his bulge through his pants. You kept your cool, ignoring his shaky breaths from behind you. “Are you that happy to see me, Hwa?”
“Shut your mouth or you won’t see the sunrise,” he hissed, but his voice was weak.
The ten-minute ride felt like an eternity as he breathed underneath you, your mind constantly thinking about how hard he was getting underneath you and how sweet it would be to turn around and face him to see his reaction to you.
You looked to your right, seeing Wooyoung with a knowing smile on his face. “What?” you asked him, raising an eyebrow.
He shrugged, grinning. “Nothing, nothing,” he said, letting out a giggle. “Just that you both seem…cozy.”
You slapped him on the shoulder, your movements causing Seonghwa to wiggle underneath you.
“Dammit, Y/N I told you to stop moving,” he seethed, his grip on your thigh tightening. Hongjoong looked back through the mirror, worry in his expression.
“Everything okay?” he asked, meeting your eyes before focusing on the road once again. “We’re almost there, only about a minute or two.”
“Ten-minute ride my ass,” you mumbled, and as you entered the Airport, you should've known that there were going to be speed bumps on the way in….
The shitty old car hopped over the bump, feeling like it hit a huge boulder. You bounced up, not held by any seatbelt, landing hard, right on Seonghwa’s family jewels.
“Fuck,” he cried, tossing his head back against the headrest. Your hands were now holding onto his legs for dear life.
“Joong, will you slow down for those things? Some of us are suffering back here,” you said, to which seonghwa started laughing.
“You're telling me.” he scoffed.
“Okay okay, I just have to park. I have no idea how this works….where the hell is the long-term parking—”
“Probably over there,” Mingi pointed in the opposite direction.
“No, no, I think it’s—”
“I can't take this anymore!” you cried out, leaning forward to assist Hongjoong since Mingi isn't helping. “There's a huge sign in front of us. How can you miss that? It spells it out, dammit.” you huffed, throwing yourself back into your “seat.” This time, he didn't let out a single groan, probably just as fed up with you as you were with him.
Finally, Hongjoong found the lot and parked the car, and as soon as it was stationary, you tossed yourself out of the vehicle like there was no tomorrow. You knew that you couldn't last a minute more on his lap, because if you did, you would be so tempted to turn around and make out with those painfully pretty lips of his. God, he made you so mad. Ever since you met him, there were only the same thoughts circulating round and round.
Dirty thoughts.
Seonghwa crawled out of the car like a decrepit old spider, his long legs holding up his body with grace. You bit your lip, looking down at where you were sitting on him. Quickly, you looked away as he noticed your gaze, and ran away to go help the others with the luggage.
You weren't quick enough to miss the achingly attractive smirk on Seonghwa’s face.
Why did he have to be so….. libidinous? He was like a wild animal, able to take the lives away of his prey with just an expression.
No more seonghwa on the brain—it was beach time. You were certain you could find someone at a bar to sleep with later, and it wouldn't be Hwa.
Not now, not ever.
—
You got lucky with the plane ride.
Your seat buddy was Mingi, and Hongjoong knew how much you like your window seats.
Mingi nearly slept the whole flight, his head rested against your shoulder. He snored a little, but it didn't matter. The gentle giant had a place in your heart, so he could do no wrong.
You often stole glances at Seonghwa across the aisle, his head bobbing up and down as he fought his tiredness. He was so much more likable when he was sleeping, but that was definitely due to the fact that he couldn't stare at you with those entrancing eyes or run that mouth of his.
You were the only one awake by the end of the flight. It was difficult for you to sleep in public places. It didn't feel right. So you would fight off sleep as hard as you could and distract yourself with anything around you.
After the fiasco of leaving the plane, you anxiously trailed behind Hongjoong through the busy airport, pushing past loads of people who had places to be. Thank goodness you were able to leave the airport without a fuss, even if seonghwa was nearly breathing down your neck as you exited.
Luckily, the ride to the hotel wasn't far—and there were more than enough seats for all of you. You distanced yourself from Seonghwa, ignoring his hellish gaze.
The hotel you were staying at stood tall, facing the gorgeous blue ocean for a perfect view. You shut your eyes as you took everything in, smelling the saltiness and the warmth of the air. You smiled to yourself, but your delightful moment didn't last long.
Seonghwa bumped into you purposely, digging his shoulder into yours before walking past you toward the hotel entrance. “Hey, what was that for?” you growled, a scowl on your face.
“You were in the way,” is all he said, not even bothering to turn to face you as he spoke. He continued walking, his beautiful silhouette showing through his sheer shirt. Oh, you wanted to tear it off of him so badly.
You let out a huff of air, but then followed your friends into the building, knowing the end was near if you had to share the room with your snack of choice.
Hongjoong went up to the front desk as you and the boys stood near the doorway, waiting for him to check us in. It didn't take him long, and soon enough, he was walking back over, key cards in his hand, and a bright smile on his face. “All checked in! This’ll be our home for the next week.”
San grabbed his key card first. “Are we all on the same floor? Like in a row? It would be no fun if I had to actually put on clothes to go on the elevator.”
“Yes, San, we’re all on the same floor.” Hongjoong held in his laugh, already clearly enjoying his time away from reality. You stood angrily with your arms across your chest next to seonghwa, who didn't look any happier than you. “And will you two brighten up? You’re killing the vibe.”
You rolled your eyes, glancing up at the boy next to you. His dark hair was slightly frizzy from the humidity, sticking to his forehead like it would if he were sweating. You gulped, thinking dirty thoughts once more before regaining your peace of mind. “I’m not doing anything. It’s all him.”
“No, it’s all you, not me.” he retaliated.
“You’re the one that got a hard-on from me just innocently sitting on your lap.”
“You were purposely shoving your ass on me like a freak—”
“You are ruining the vacation already—”
“Annnd we’re not doing this again,” Mingi sighed and then gripped onto your arm to pull you towards the elevator.
“Let’s go, we got bars to get wrecked at.”
—
“Oh, hell no.”
You dropped your luggage as you entered your room for the week, staring at what was in it.
Or lack thereof.
One bed—a queen, maybe, sat in the middle of the room. A chair was tilted by the sliding glass doors that opened to the balcony, and a lamp stood in the corner. It was cute, of course, but you thought this couldn't get any worse.
Seonghwa walked past you into the room, setting his suitcase on the floor by the chair. “Don't worry,” he hummed, his voice low. “I’ll sleep on the floor.”
“I–” you paused, taking in a breath before continuing. “You can sleep on the bed, I ain't that mean.”
“So you think I’m going to let my best friend’s sister sleep on the floor?” he laughed, but it wasn't out of humor. “That’s funny. I’d get my ass beat.” He sat down on the floor, stretching out his long legs before opening his suitcase. “Just forget about me like you usually do and take the bed.”
You had no snarky remarks to throw at him this time, your eyelids feeling heavier than ever. You sighed, sitting down on the bed with a thud. “Okay, fine. Wake me up when we are going to leave.”
“Yeah yeah,” he snarkily replied, too focused on his luggage in front of him. You shut your eyes slowly, holding on to your consciousness a little longer, before drifting off into a sleep that would cause an unexpected uproar a few hours later.
—
After your amazing nap, you and the boys found your way to a beach bar, sand filling the floor and loud music playing in the background. You took your rightful spot at the bar, sitting right next to Wooyoung, who was already chugging a fruity margarita.
“You should try this, Y/N,” he let out a satisfied sigh after he finished his gulp. “Tastes like fucking unicorns and rainbows.”
You laughed. “Sounds divine, but I’ll pass and get my whiskey sour.”
He grimaced. “Ew, you should spruce it up a little bit sometimes.”
San sat down on the other side of him, a fancy glass in his hands as well. “Yeah, you’re kind of a bore.”
“San what the—”
“She is, isn't she?” Seonghwa hummed from behind you, and of course, sat his ass in the chair right next to you. You groaned, ignoring him once again, although it was quite hard to not drool as he gulped his beer, his throat bobbing as he drank it.
Fucking hell.
You looked around for any sign of your brother to save you, and once you saw him, you cringed, turning right back around to face the bar. “Dear god, can't he keep his dick in his pants for five minutes?” you shivered, trying to think of anything else other than your brother making out with a random person.
Seonghwa looked back, a smirk on his face as you ordered your drink. “Hypocrite. Just last week I walked in on you with Mingi in the chem lab,” he snickered, his midnight eyes catching the neon lights behind the bar. “Your tongue was so far down his throat I swear I—”
“Says the guy who I caught watching porn freshman year in the computer lab—”
“Here’s your Whiskey sour,” the bartender awkwardly interrupted, but thank god he did. You quickly chugged it, finishing it within a minute of getting it. He gave you another right away, and you downed that one as quickly as it came. He was cute, a little on the scruffy side, but definitely a good one-night. You gave him a look, feeling accomplished as he smirked a little before serving someone else.
“Maybe you shouldn't drink so fast, y/n,” San murmured from Wooyoung’s side, his strong arms holding his weight against the table. “You get drunk really quick on an empty stomach. Remember what happened last time? You have a bad habit of trying to kiss everything you see.”
You furrowed your eyebrows, setting the empty glass down on the bar. As you did that, you felt the warmth of the alcohol fill your body. “What? Who did I kiss?”
Seonghwa laughed from the other side of you while you focused on San.
“Me.” San blinked. “Tongue and all. But not just me, you kissed the statue outside our campus. You know, that really rusty one?”
You gagged. “Ew, no. stop. No, I didn't.”
“Oh, yes you did,” Seongwha piped in, sipping on his third or fourth beer. “And then you threw up on my shoes when I brought you home.”
You let out an exaggerated sigh of relief, taking his beer right out of his hands. “Phew, thank god I didn't kiss you,” you shivered, bringing the bottle up to your lips. After you started chugging it a little bit, Hwa ripped the bottle away from you.
You felt your vision start to sway from the alcohol. You loved the feeling of being drunk—just hated the hangovers. Right now though, you wanted to get wasted and go home with a stranger. The hangover will be tomorrow’s problem.
But seonghwa had to just run his mouth once again.
“You know you talk in your sleep, right?” He laughed, a full, humorous laugh. He tossed the bottle to the back of his throat and then continued to laugh at you. “Something about how awful the airplane food was and how drinking milk reminds you of cum.” he grimaced at the last part, but a playful smile still rested on his face. “God you are explicit.”
Your cheeks flushed, looking anywhere but his direction. “I do not sleeptalk.”
You looked to Wooyoung and San for help, but they looked dumbfounded. “I wouldn't know, y/n, I never slept with you,” San smirked, smiling deviously at you. “Unless you’re down with that, I’m all for hearing you sleeptalk in my ear all night.”
“Yeah, me too,” Woo played along, knowing he was just doing it to tease you. Seonghwa, on the other hand, was trying desperately to embarrass you in front of the hot bartender.
“God, it’s so annoying, I wanted to rip my hair out earlier,” he smiled devilishly, his teeth even brighter than normal under all the neon lights. “I thought I couldn't hate you more, but you proved me wrong.”
You looked straight ahead, ignoring Seonghwa’s goofy smile. “Whatever,” you huffed, resting your face on your hand, your elbow holding up the weight. You watched the sexy bartender notice your stare. He smiled and walked over to you.
“Need another sour?” he asked, his cheeks pinched with dimples. You had your eyes set on going home with him, and you were going to follow through with it. Seonghwa can stay outside for the night—or watch, it didn't matter to you.
“Actually,” you pondered, blinking slowly as the alcohol hit your system even harder. “I’ll take a vodka and Sprite. Grey Goose.” you hummed, watching him nod with a smirk on his face.
Seonghwa chuckled, but you were too focused on your mission to hear him blab about how much he hated you over and over again. Soon enough, that damn grey goose hit you harder than anything. Your eyes fluttered after your second glass, your vision fuzzy, and your heartbeat racing.
You let out a heavy sigh, unable to remember your original mission.
“Hey,” you coughed, your cheeks burning up from the toxin. You looked around the bar, only meeting Seonghwa’s eyes…..oh…they’re so pretty. “Where did everyone else go?”
He was facing you, looking at you through those sparkling irises of his. He took in a breath, crossing his arms over his chest. “Well, your brother left with that girl he was making out with earlier….San and Woo left not too long ago to go to another bar, and Mingi….” he paused, watching your expression change when mingi was mentioned. “Mingi went with them.”
“Ah,” you nodded. “Why’d you stop at mingi like that?”
He furrowed his brows. “Why’d you look like that when I mentioned him?”
You sniffled, feeling a burning sensation in your throat from all the vodka. “What do you mean?” you were too messed up to defend yourself. You didn't even know your expression changed.
“You looked…different when I said his name.”
You couldn't help but laugh at his dreary tone. “Pfft. Hwa, do you think that just because I slept with him once that I have feelings for him?”
He frowned, his eyebrows knit with confusion. “You slept with him? Mingi?”
You shrugged. “Yeah. Just once, though.” Oh god, you officially couldn't think straight. Why were you even telling him this? “But that was it.”
He looked at you with an unknown expression, flattening his lips. “So you just sleep with anyone, huh?”
You scoffed. “Well, no, not usually.” you bit your lip, looking at him without knowing how you were looking at him. “I kind of always wanted you, but I didn’t understand why, so I ignore the feeling by sleeping with other guys.”
“That makes no sense, y/n,” he spat. “What are you saying?”
You rolled your eyes, drunkenly gripping his broad shoulders, shaking him slightly. “Awh, shut it, Hwa. Haven't you ever felt that before?” you paused, not realizing how close you were. His eyes were sharp, and his lips parted. “Wanting someone you can't have? Knowing that they wouldn't want anything to do with you?”
He swallowed hard, his gaze piercing into you sharply. “You’re drunk, y/n,” he paused, looking at you intently before shaking your hands away. “Let’s go back to the hotel.”
“Oooh, don't tempt me, baby,” you poked his chest, giggling as he stood up off the barstool. You were completely oblivious to the fact that you just admitted to wanting him, but it didn't seem like he took it seriously.
“Get up,” he huffed, gripping under your arms and lifting you off your chair. You groaned, wrapping your arms around his waist. You held onto him tightly as he reached into his back pocket to grab money, tossing it onto the counter with a glare at the bartender.
“Enjoy your night,” Seonghwa growled, holding onto you, and made his way towards the hotel with you clung to him.
“Seonghwa,” you whispered, a giggle under your breath.
He grunted, pulling you along with him. “What?”
You sniffed. “Can I kiss you?”
He sighed. “No.”
“Why?” you mumbled, shoving your face into his chest.
“Because it’s your drunk habit.”
“So would you kiss me if it wasn't?” you asked, completely obliterated. There was no way you were going to remember this in the morning.
He didn't answer you.
“Come on, Hwa,” you moaned, stopping and gripping onto his collar in front of the hotel. You looked up into his eyes, feeling his intense gaze cut right through your intoxication. You needed him. Needed him bad. “Just once. God, just once.”
“I…” he swallowed, his hands twitching at his sides, crying out to touch you. He kept them away, even if he didn't want to. “Not now. Not while you’re drunk.”
You blinked slowly, watching his lips flatten into a frown. “Does that mean you want to?”
He sighed, running his hands through his hair aggressively. “Please just….let’s get back to the room and get you to bed.”
You groaned, but complied, following him into the hotel and into the elevator. The ride was silent, Seonghwa standing in the corner, farthest away from you, his breathing slowed. You stared at him, leaning up against the wall.
“I really hate you,” you mumbled, glaring at him. He was too sexy, his hair messy, his eyes dark, his long legs taller than a skyscraper. You only admitted your attraction to him when you were drunk, but you couldn't deny the pull you had to him.
He looked up at you, his starry eyes looking from your legs, up to your hips, over your breasts, and finally to your eyes. He took in a sharp breath, biting the corner of his lip.
“I hate you too,” he whispered, his vision low.
And in what world would the words I hate you cause someone’s heart to flutter?
The elevator dinged at your floor, and after a moment of longing stares, Seonghwa gripped your arm and dragged you out. He held onto your drunken body as he searched for his keycard, and once he found it, you tumbled into the room together.
Your back was pressed against the wall, his arms caging you in on both sides. His forehead was on yours, and you were able to feel his hot breath against your lips.
“Oh,” you hummed, your hands subconsciously dancing at the hem of his t-shirt. You watched his throat bob anxiously as you looked into his eyes.
It took everything in him to move away. He coughed awkwardly and then nodded toward the bed. “Come on, you need to rest.”
“Mhm,” you murmured, unable to move in a straight line. You kicked off your sandals, and pulled off your shirt with ease, leaving you only in your bra and that skimpy skirt seonghwa was looking at all night.
He watched as you walked, holding his breath without meaning to.
As you neared the bed, you reached back to unclip your bra, but you couldn't reach it. “Hwa?”
He was looking at the floor. “Hm?”
“Can you…” you paused, giving up on trying to get it off. “Take this off of me? It’s really uncomfortable.”
He blinked, his eyes wide. You couldn't see the confusion in his expression, but you heard the shakiness of his tone. “W-what? Your….bra?”
“Yeah.”
He didn't say anything else. He slowly walked over to where you were, and as his fingertips traced the middle of your back, you shivered under his touch.
He unclasped the hook, but held on to both ends of the bra, afraid to let it drop. “It’s done,” he whispered, backing up slightly.
You dropped the bra onto the floor and then reached to take off your skirt. As you slid it down your hips, you heard seonghwa nearly trip over his feet trying to turn away.
“Do you…always sleep naked?” he asked you, looking anywhere but where you were. You were way too drunk to care about what he sees, but you were also too tired to try. You fell onto the bed, your arm covering your breasts and your underwear still on.
“Fuck, y/n,” Seonghwa huffed, finally looking over and doing everything to not look where he shouldn't. He gently reached for the blanket, tossing it over you in one swift motion.
You shut your eyes tight, feeling his presence loom over you. He brushed away the stray hairs on your face and made sure you were laying on your side.
“.... I’m so screwed,” he muttered, giving you one last look before walking into the bathroom and turning on the cold water.
A cold shower, especially knowing that there was a beautiful, nearly naked girl in the bed just outside the door.
The cold water ran down his body, giving him a rush of pain.
“Fuck,” he hissed, biting his lip as his attraction to you only worsened.
—
After his attempt to cleanse his messy thoughts, Seonghwa stepped out of the bathroom, towel hanging low on his hips. He hesitated before looking over at you, and after he got a good look at your pretty face, he made his way to his luggage, rooting in there for a t-shirt to toss on.
“...seong…hwa,” you moaned.
Moaned.
“....y/n?” he whispered, maybe thinking you were awake and needed something. He didn't want to jump to conclusions, but that sounded too….sensual than just a normal tone.
“I…ugh,” you groaned, “don't stop, please. H…Hwa.”
Seonghwa raised his eyebrows, dropping the clothes he had in his hands, eyes wide.
“Seonghwa….”
Okay, that was the third time. You were most definitely dreaming about him….
“Oh…my…god.” Hwa gulped, cautiously standing up and backing away as far as he could from you.
Little did he know how detailed your dream was.
—
His hands snaked up your bare hips, your legs wrapped around his waist. His lips were on your ear, biting, teeth clashing against your skin.
He thrusted into you, hard, his hips buckling as he moaned. You cried out his name, back arching, nails scratching. He fucked you hard, his forehead against yours, and his eyes rolled back into his head.
“You like that?” he whispered, his tongue sliding into your mouth before you could answer. His sweat fell on your cheek, and you moaned out his name once more. You weren't sure how you got here, how this came about, or anything. All that mattered was that you were finally with him, the man you always thought you hated.
“…hwa,” you moaned, “fuck me harder.”
And as he slammed into you with even more force than before, his lips crashed onto yours, his black hair blocking your vision. You wanted more, and more and more—
“Y/n,”
“Just shut up and keep going,” you cried out.
“Y/N!”
You shot awake, gasping for air as your back hit the headboard. You breathed heavily, realizing that you were dreaming about all of that and that the real seonghwa was standing in front of you, shirtless, with an expression you weren't quite sure you’d ever seen before.
“Seonghwa, what—”
“S..stop it. Don't say my name,” he stuttered, looking anywhere but your body. He quickly tossed a t-shirt at you—his t-shirt. “Just put this on. The guys are down getting breakfast, so we gotta go.”
He quickly walked to his own luggage and grabbed a shirt for himself. You watched him as he tossed it on and slid on his shoes, and with one last awkward glance at you, he left the room in haste.
You were too scared to look down, hoping that you still had underwear on. You weren't too sure if that was a dream or not, but given the way he acted, it made you even more confused.
You felt the wetness between your thighs, clenching them with a sigh. You stood up, tossing on the bra that was laying on the floor as if it was thrown off of you.
After cleaning yourself up a bit, you made your way to the breakfast area on the first floor, immediately noticed by Hongjoong. “There you are! I was worried you weren't going to—” he stopped, noticing the shirt that was way too big on you. “That’s the shirt I got Hwa….”
Seonghwa cleared his throat, shoving a bagel into his mouth to distract himself.
You ignored him and sat down across from him and next to Mingi. You looked up, meeting eyes with the man you thought so filthily about, seeing a swipe of cream cheese on the bottom of his lip. You held back, knowing that it’ll just send you into another spiral if you pointed it out.
But when he stuck his tongue out to lick it off, you felt the tingle in your stomach once more, thinking back at the dream you had, and how his tongue caressed you in more ways than one.
He met eyes with you, his lips parting slightly. His gaze was much different than it ever has been. You've never seen him so….lost. His expression was conflicted, his eyes not leaving your lips.
Wooyoung smirked. “Did you guys fuck or something? What’s with the mood?”
“Wooyoung!” Hongjoong yelled.
“What? I’m just pointing out the obvious,” he shrugged.
“We didn't. Keep dreaming,” Seonghwa muttered lowly, taking another bite of his bagel.
Hongjoong huffed. “I don't want to imagine my sister and seonghwa in that way…that’s super weird.”
“Why?” seonghwa questioned, his tone serious. You looked at him, confused as to why he cared. It seemed like everyone else was just as confused as you. “Ahem, I mean…uh, is it that hard to imagine?” Seonghwa’s voice was shaky, his gaze hopping from Hongjoong to you.
It made your brother laugh. “Well, yeah. You guys hate each other, right?” he took a sip of his coffee before continuing. “It makes no sense for you to even see eye to eye, I couldn't imagine you two in any type of relationship. Maybe her and Mingi, out of everyone.”
Seonghwa dropped his bagel face down onto his plate. “Why Mingi? What’s so special about—”
“I’m right here guys….” Mingi tried to interrupt, but Seonghwa shot him a dangerous glare, causing the gentle giant to hold his tongue.
Hongjoong looked around at the boys awkwardly and picked up his fork to continue eating his eggs. “I’m just saying.”
This was too awkward. You kept stealing glances at Hwa as if he were a magnet. You assumed he felt similarly, because every time you looked, your eyes would meet, and then you would awkwardly stare for a moment too long before looking away.
And when he got up to get more food, you got up, too.
“We need to talk,” you whispered, coming right up next to him as he put a muffin on his plate. “Why are you acting weird?”
He sighed and continued to add food to his plate. “I’m not acting weird.”
As he moved to get a drink from the drink machine, you continued to follow him. “Did I do something wrong yesterday?” you gasped, holding a hand over your mouth as he still ignored you. “Did I kiss you? Dear god, I hope not—”
“No, you didn't,” he said quietly, walking back over to the table.
“Something must have happened, seonghwa—”
He stopped, nearly causing you to bump into his back. “Don't.” he paused, taking in a sharp breath, looking over his shoulder at you. “Don't say my name.”
You frowned in confusion, watching the muscles in his back move as he walked away. You couldn't remember your antics yesterday, but maybe you made him uncomfortable by sleeping nearly naked—he hated you, so you could only imagine how irritated he was.
“Listen, if it was because I was naked, I'm sorry—”
Everyone at the table looked up as you spoke, including seonghwa. He looked shy, a blush on his cheeks, and he sat down quickly and stuffed the muffin in his mouth.
“Naked?” Mingi laughed, looking from you to seonghwa suggestively. “Sounds awfully smutty, Seonghwa.”
“We didn't—” he groaned, running a hand down his face. “Nothing happened with us.”
“Mhm, okay,” San smirked. “Whatever you say. Anyway, we have a whole day out planned, so you two better get back to your normal selves or we won't have any fun.”
You really needed to talk to seonghwa, but it seemed like you'll be busy the whole day with the boys—and he didn't seem to be very interested in talking to you, anyway.
You tilted your head in curiosity.
“What are we doing?”
—
The day was eventful.
First, you went to the beach. Seemed innocent, until Seonghwa took off his shirt and got all soaking wet, sending you in a mess of thoughts and a mess below. He would look over at you, and wouldn't look away, paying intense attention to your body in a skimpy little bikini.
When you went to talk to him, he body-slammed you into the ocean, and normally you would've fumed, but this time, you enjoyed his hands on your bare skin.
After the beach, you walked along the boardwalk of shops and lots of food. You grabbed a popsicle, licking it without a thought, but when you felt an intense pressure on you, you looked over to see seonghwa looking at you with an expression you've never seen on him. His eyes were focused on your lips, his own lips curled up as he bit them. You continued to eat your popsicle, but couldn't stop looking at him.
When you tried to bring up last night, Hongjoong came over and took the rest of your pop, running away from you like a child.
At dinner, you sat at the far end of the table, as far away as possible from Seonghwa. It wasn't intended, but now there was no way you could talk, as everyone would hear your conversation.
You ate, feeling defeated. Maybe you should just forget about it.
It was still daylight after dinner. As the guys conversed about what to do next, San and Wooyoung decided to go their own way and walk the beach, which was just their code word for “shopping” for girls. Hongjoong agreed with them, shocking you since he was always hell-bent on not going off a schedule. You assumed he was just going to meet that girl he was with yesterday, but whatever, it just meant that you could be left alone with Seonghwa.
After those three left, it was only you, Seonghwa, and Mingi. Hwa stood with his hands in his pockets, awkwardly looking around as you stood outside the restaurant. Mingi was even more awkward, looking at you before speaking.
“Um, I’m just gonna go with Woo and San, so,” he breathed, looking to seonghwa now. “I’ll see you guys back at the hotel tonight.”
“Okay, Mingi,” you smiled. “See you later.”
You watched him leave and then looked at the boy standing next to you.
“So,” you tried to initiate conversation, but seonghwa started walking in the opposite direction from where everyone else went. You followed. “What should we do?”
“I’m going surfing,” he said blandly. “I don't know about you, though.”
“I’ll come with you,” you smiled, finally catching up to him. He let out an aggravated groan as you walked close to him. “Do you even know how to surf?”
He scoffed. “Yeah, of course, I do.”
“I’m just saying,” you noted, shrugging as you followed him. “You’re too….dainty. I feel like if you fell off you’d break every bone in your body.”
Seonghwa didn't react in any way you were hoping he would. Instead, he kept walking silently, until you reached the part of the beach where the surf shack was. Wetsuits were laid out, ready to be picked up, and surfboards stood tall through the sand and against the building. You stared in awe as you approached, seeing that there was no one else here but you two.
Finally, alone at last.
“Grab a suit if you’re gonna do this,” he pointed to them, raising an eyebrow when you stood there anxiously. “What? Don't you know how to surf?” he mocked.
You kicked at the sand, your hands behind your back. “Pff. yeah, of course, I….no. I don't.” you pleaded with your eyes sweetly, despite all of the dirty things you wanted to do to him. “Could you please teach me? Pretty please?”
He held his own suit close to his chest as he looked down at you. “Why should I?”
You stepped closer to him, causing him to step back cautiously. “Because I’m pretty?”
“Oh honey, who lied to you?” he joked.
“Please, Seonghwa?” you stressed his name, hoping to break him. You watched his eye twitch as you said it, reminding you of earlier when he told you not to say his name.
“Seonghwa seonghwa seonghwa seong—”
“Okay, fine! Jeez,” he huffed, tossing you a suit, only for it to hit you in the face. “Get dressed.”
You walked into the shack with him, going your separate ways at the locker rooms. Everything went smoothly until you tried to zipper the suit up, only being able to get it halfway. You pondered on asking seonghwa for help or completely turning into a contortionist, but after failing to do it yourself, you gave up and left the room to ask him.
Seonghwa stood amongst the surfboards, his lean body looking delicious in that surf suit. You nearly drooled looking at him.
“Hey,” you started, slowly approaching him as he picked out a board. “Can you help me zipper this?”
He turned to you, his expression conflicted as he saw you. You turned around, showing your exposed back, causing him to clear his throat. “O..okay.”
His delicate fingers brushed against the skin of your back, nearly causing you to shiver. You felt his breath hit the back of your neck as the zipper moved up and up until he zipped it completely.
“....There,” he said, swallowing. “You’re all good.”
He didn't move his hands until you pulled away from him, turning back around to face him. The silence was deafening, so you decided to break it.
“Seonghwa, about last night, what exactly happened—”
“Let’s just get started before the sun goes down,” he interrupted, looking anywhere but your eyes. “We’ll talk later.”
That was good enough for now. You watched him try to pick out a board, but he seemed extremely nervous. After a good bit of time, he grabbed a pink one, causing you to smile. Pink suited him so much, more than he’d probably like to admit.
“Let’s start with some basics,” he spoke smoothly, tossing the board down onto the sand. “Get on it. On your stomach.”
You lay down on the board, looking up at him for more directions. He taught you how to paddle with your arms, explaining that you'll have to dive under the waves sometimes if you were okay with doing that. You couldn't look weak now, especially not to him. So after the little training lesson, you were finally in the shallow water, sand already in every nook and cranny of you.
“Try to keep balance,” he said, his voice raspy. It wasn't the time to turn you on, but of course, he could do it just by his voice. “Keep your chest up.” his hand caressed your back, down your spine.
You looked up at him, his wet hair dripping down his face. You held back, as much as you could, from pouncing on him.
But when you fell off the board and got stuck underwater, you’ve never seen him so concerned before.
He grabbed you under your arms, pulling you back up and holding him to you while you coughed. You were perfectly fine—maybe a little too much water in the ears, but it was the least of your worries. What you cared about was the look on his face and the way he caged you to his body.
“y/n?” he rushed his hand over your face, pushing away your drenched hair so he could see you. “Are you okay?”
You coughed, blinking away the salt that infiltrated your eyes. Seonghwa noticed your distress and gently rubbed your face with the pad of his thumb.
“Don't rub your eyes,” he pushed your hand away, still not letting you go from his embrace. “You'll make it worse.”
“It hurts,” you mumbled, causing his look of worry to worsen. True, the salt started burning your eyes, but you couldn't get enough of his caring touch—maybe because he’s never shown this side of himself to you.
He took in an anxious breath as he looked around. “Maybe we should get back to the hotel,” he spoke softly, the sound of water filling your senses as you looked at him.
Everything about his appearance aggravated you—from the way his midnight hair draped his face, dripping with water down his cheeks, to the way his normally judgemental eyes seemed gentle and sweet. He looked kind, the type of man who would worship his lover like a queen, and all the time knowing him, you tried your hardest to only see him in a negative light.
Now, as he held you in the cold, sparkling ocean as the sun was setting, all you saw was your reflection in his eyes and all you felt was the undeniable pull to be with him. To touch him. To kiss him. To tell him that maybe, just maybe, you’ve always had a piece of him in your heart.
“Seonghwa, I…” you paused, ignoring the burn from the salt water. You watched his lips as they slowly parted, his eyes wide as he picked you apart. They looked at you differently, like they never looked at you before, and you wanted him to never stop looking at you.
The distance between the two of you was nonexistent—you saw every drop of water on his skin, and you were certain he was able to gather the meaning behind your gaze. If he did, he didn't say anything—he only looked back at you with those entrancing irises of his, a look you’ve never seen from him. He waited patiently for you to finish your sentence, but you had nothing else to say.
As your lips neared his, you heard his breath get caught in his throat, and you felt his embrace tighten around you. You closed your eyes, taking in the feeling, hoping that he would be the one to lean in and meet your lips.
He didn't.
Instead, his hands trailed down your back, the pink surfboard still floating next to you despite being forgotten. His breath was shaky as he touched you, but the moment ended too quickly as he shook himself out of his trance.
“I um, we should, you know,” he nodded towards the beach, even though you weren't too far out. “We should get back to the room.”
You slowly blinked at him, watching his expression stay the same despite the change of mind. He coughed, letting go of you, but then he grabbed your hand and the board before pulling you to shore.
The walk back was quiet. He didn't let go of your hand until you got back to the surf shack, and he reluctantly let go knowing you had to change.
You both were silent as you looked at each other, but the ache in your chest convinced you to break this tension.
Before you entered the changing room, you quickly turned back around to face seonghwa, who still stood with that….sex-charged expression on his face.
“….Stop looking at me like that,” you hummed, your chest heavy as he breathed in deeply. He looked at you with those bedroom eyes of his, half of his wetsuit already off. He looked deadly, which didn't help your desire.
He swallowed hard but tried his best to remain calm. “Like what?”
You took a step closer, reaching back to your zipper to pull it down just a little. You shrugged it down your bare shoulders, making sure he got to know that there was nothing else but you under that wetsuit once again.
And when you got as close as you could, you said the words you knew would be life or death for him.
“Like you want to fuck me,” you shrugged, acting all cool even though you were falling apart by the second. You were lucky you were at the surf shack at such a late time of day, and that no one else was here except you.
He choked on air, stepping away from you until his back hit the wall. You noticed how his chest rose and fell as he breathed in, and how delicious it would be to just lick him all over….
“I…” he gulped, but his eyes lingered on your shoulders and the curve of your breasts. “I don't know what you mean?”
You smiled through your haze, mind focused on getting to the bottom of his sudden change of attitude towards you. You reached out, gently guiding your hand down the plain of his chest, down his slim, but muscular waist. Oh, you couldn't get enough of him already.
You smirked. “Then tell me why you’ve been eye fucking me all day, or at least what happened last night, so I can understand.”
He blinked fast, looking from your lips, down your neck, to your bare shoulders.
“You…” he took in a sharp breath as your hands trailed down his body. “You sleeptalk.”
“I know that already,” you whispered, looking into his captivating gaze.
He leaned forward slightly, veins popping in his neck as he strained against his judgment. “I mean, you…kept moaning my name. I…I couldn't take it anymore….I can't take it anymore. Every time you speak I just want to fucking shut you up with my mouth for fucks sake.” he huffed, subconsciously gripping your hips as he grits his teeth. “You so annoying, so damn annoying, I can't—”
“Then take me,” you spoke against his lips. “Fuck me. Just like you did in my dreams.”
His forehead pressed against yours as you pushed him further against the wall.
“And how did I do that?” he growled, his fingertips tugging at your wetsuit. “Was I rough? Gentle?” he paused, lips pressed to your neck. “Did I make you say my name, or was that all you with that filthy little mouth of yours?”
You couldn't speak as his lips glided down your neck to your collarbone. He sucked on the skin there, roughly, causing you to suck in a sharp breath and run your hands through his dripping-wet hair.
You moaned, biting his earlobe. “I want you to tear me apart.”
He smirked against your skin, his eyes finally meeting yours.
“Rough it is, then.”
Without warning, he bit his lip hard as he pulled your wetsuit right down to your ankles, the water from his hair dripping onto your bare shoulders. He nearly growled as you stood in front of him, naked as ever, his gaze darkening before gripping the back of your neck to pull you to him.
As he sucked on your neck, you pulled down his suit with aggression, not quick enough for the hunger in both of your souls. His hot breath tickled your skin, his hands clawed at your hips, and his lips begged to kiss yours as you shoved him against the wall once again, skin on skin. He breathed heavily, his eyes dancing from your breasts to your waist, to your lips.
You gripped onto his hair, staring into his eyes for a moment before you locked your lips with his, tasting the saltiness of the ocean and the sweet warmth of his saliva. Your tongues fought for their lives, dancing as you deepened the kiss. Foreheads slamming, hands invading space. It was all over for your sanity the minute his long fingers glided against your core, his middle finger finding your clit and rubbing gently. His kisses were rough as his fingers delicately touched you, fueling the fire within you even more than it already was.
“Seonghwa,” you moaned against his ear, causing him to move his hand faster with a grunt. “Push them in me.”
He hissed, his eyes rolling back into his head as he pulled his hands away for a moment, only to suck his fingers in front of you before shoving them into you, curling them up inside you. You arched your back against him, crying out as his lips found yours once again.
He kissed you deeply as he made love to you with his hands, his fingers long enough to reach deep inside of you—but it wasn't enough. You bit his lip sharply as he fingered you, causing him to hiss in pleasure. “I need your cock in me. Now.” you licked his jawline, watching him squirm in your embrace.
His cheeks were flushed red as he looked at you, his eyes looking as if he were intoxicated. “I…fuck,” he sucked in a breath, kissing you as his fingers moved faster and faster. “Okay.”
As he pulled his fingers out of you, he licked them once more, his eyes on yours seductively.
“You taste so good.” he moaned, his mouth parted. He then lifted you up, walking you over to the table of waxed surfboards in the middle of the room. Shoving everything off with one hand, he threw you onto the wood, causing you to let out a little grunt.
“You’re so sexy,” he leaned over you, slamming your hands above your head before silencing your moans with a rough kiss. “So fucking sexy, you have no idea how long I wanted to shove my dick inside you.” His words were like gasoline to your fire, causing you to cry out in a whimper for him to do exactly what he said he would do. You kept your mouth shut as he tugged you to the edge of the table, lining up his hard-on to enter you.
After a look of longing, he spit onto his fingers and rubbed them onto his cock and your heat, his chest falling and rising with his heavy breathing. He then buried himself inside you, deeply, causing your breath to hitch. He was even bigger than your dreams, tearing apart your expectations of his skills. You tried your best to free your arms from his hold, but as he moved in and out of you, you had lost the desire to escape it. You really liked the feeling of his fingernails tearing into your skin.
“Ah,” he whimpered, his hips rocking quickly, his eyes shut tight. His thrusts were deep, not slowing down for a second.
Your legs curled around his shoulders, his one arm holding your hands and his other piercing into your ankle. He grunted as he pumped into you, tearing at your insides, feeling him fill you up. “Hwa,” you groaned, back arching in pleasure. “Harder. Fuck me harder.”
He grunted in response, speeding up faster as his hips slammed into yours. You felt him quiver inside you, precum dripping into you without a care. You loved the feeling, you didn't care about the risks in the moment.
You climaxed without warning, your legs tightening around his head. He kept muttering your name over and over again against you, kissing the skin of your ankles as he continued to fuck the living shit out of you. You started to see stars as he nearly cracked your spine, and right before he nearly came, he flipped you over onto your stomach without ever leaving you.
Your face was shoved against the wood of the table, the sweet smell of sex enveloping your senses. You cried out his name as he gripped onto your hips, moving faster as his own orgasm came close. His lips met the small of your back, his fingers gripped your ass with haste.
“I’m going to come,” he mumbled, his voice raspy. “Can I come in you?”
“Yes,” you breathed. “Come inside me.”
As if your words stirred something within him, he immediately moved in shorter movements, his grip on your ass tightening as his orgasm came. His breathing shallowed as he came into you, filling you up with his cum. You let out one last moan as you felt his warmth, and he kissed the back of your neck as he finished.
He pulled out of you slowly despite how rough he was—he could've been rougher, but you didn't want him to think of you as the insane slut everyone thought you were.
Even though you only ever slept with others because you couldn't have him.
And now…..what comes next?
He helped you sit back up to a normal position, and when he saw the dark, purple bruises on your neck and collarbone, he gasped. “Oh, I’m sorry,” his fingers gently brushed against your hot skin as if he didn't just totally destroy you. “I kind of….went crazy, didn't I?”
You smiled up at him in a daze, both your cheeks blushed in embarrassment and enjoyment. “I like crazy.”
He paused, standing proudly in front of you with that delicious body of his. You sighed in contentment, a lazy smile on your lips. “I dreamt of this. Literally.” you reached out to him, pulling his lips down to yours. He kissed them softly, opening his mouth wide as he made out with you. You didn't want to pull away, but as the thought of you both having sex in a public surf shack came to your mind, you pulled away quickly, startling him.
“Um, so,” you laughed awkwardly. “Should we head back now? We are kind of in a public place….”
Seonghwa looked around, smirking as he leaned forward on the table, kissing you once more. “It was kind of thrilling, not gonna lie.”
You leaned into his embrace, his hands caressing your back romantically. “So,” you whispered against his lips. “We should get back. And this time, you better sleep in the bed with me.”
“Oh, baby, I plan on doing more than just sleeping.”
—
After countless rounds of ‘sleeping’, you ended up waking up late in Seonghwa’s embrace, his lips pressed against the curve of your shoulder as he held you. He quite literally rocked you all night long, and you even discovered his love for reverse cowgirl—making him come within two minutes of the fifth round.
Now, as you lay in his arms while he slept, you finally felt content. He was all you ever wanted, even though your words said otherwise this whole time of knowing him.
“Hey,” you turned around in his embrace, pressing your lips against his forehead. “Seonghwa.”
“Hm?” he grumbled sleepily, his eyes blinking open to meet yours.
You smiled, running a hand through his messy hair. “We should get up. The others are probably waiting for us in the lobby.”
“Ugh, why?” he groaned, holding onto you tighter. “ I don't want to leave this bed today. Or ever.”
You giggled, pecking his lips. “Come on, Hwa. I really would like to get a tan on the sand today.”
His eyes were wide open now, but he blinked slowly from his sleepiness. “We barely got any sleep,” he huffed, shoving his head into your shoulder. “And I can't kiss you in front of everyone, I can't wait the whole day to touch you.”
You grinned chaotically.
“Who says we have to hide it?”
—
“Dear lord,” Wooyoung huffed, sitting with his arms crossed at the beach. “Are they ever going to stop and come up for air?”
Your friends sat on towels on the sand, while you sat on Seonghwa’s lap as you made out with him. His hands gripped your face as he stuck his tongue in your mouth, both of you having no care for those around you.
“I knew this was going to happen,” San mumbled with a smirk, elbowing Wooyoung playfully. “Just let them have their fun. It’s been a long time coming.”
“Pfft,” Woo scoffed, looking at how seonghwa touched you.
“I always thought I would be the one tapping that.”
“Wooyoung shut the fuck up.”
#ateez#ateez smut#ateez fanfic#ateez seonghwa#park seonghwa#seonghwa#seonghwa x reader#seonghwa smut#roomates#vacation au#ateez masterlist#enemies to lovers#fwb#wooyoung#San#mingi#Hongjoong
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Caramel (m)
Sub!Brat!Sunghoon (ENHYPEN) x Dom!GF!Reader
WC—4.5 ✧ k
WARNING—jealousy ✧ semi-public masturbation (car, m) ✧ spanking (m!r) ✧ face sitting (f) ✧ degrading ✧ praising ✧ piv ✧ riding ✧ nipple play (f!r) ✧ hair pulling (m!r) ✧ name-calling ✧ pet names (Love, Baby, Mommy) ✧ awkward encounter with Yeonjun from TXT
THEMES—smut ✧ established relationship ✧ fluffy ✧ jealousy ✧ good boy turned bad
NOW PLAYING —I Wanna Be Yours ✧ Arctic Monkeys
A/N. I got some sweet messages of encouragement from readers on both wattpad and tumblr after my last update: thank you! Your words and support motivated me to post this sooner<3
M.LISTS—enhypen ✧ latest updates ✧ read on wp
All rights reserved © femdomlieeh
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The mall was packed with people. After Valentines some stores had crazy sales on winter collections since the last major winter holiday was over and the desperation to empty the racks full of winter clothes before it was too late was at its highest point. So, you and your valentine Sunghoon decided to go to the mall. Although you knew the winter leftovers weren't always the prettiest and that you likely wouldn't end up purchasing anything, you thought it would be fun to try on some clothes and just walk and talk since you hadn't spent much time together since Valentine's Day. Also, who knows, you might actually find something nice!
"Baby, you're so sweet," you whispered into Sunghoon's ear, kissing his temple after he greeted you with two hot lattes, one matcha and one caramel — he always picked those two drinks partly for the taste, caffeine and warmth but also so when the two of you were halfway finished you could switch cups.
"Everything for you, Love," he gave you the matcha latte, blushing at your little affection since you were in a very public setting. The only type of physical touch he felt comfortable initiating in front of others was holding your hand or a quick hug, otherwise it was you giving him pecks on his cheek, sitting on his lap or petting his head, which he loved no matter how embarrassed he felt in the moment — your attention and affection is precious to him.
"Thank you," you took a sip of the matcha, content worth the content and also because the cup was warming up your cold hands, but you grabbed his hand anyway, preferring that source of warmth.
He knew his ears were probably red now. He loved it when your cold hand stole the warmth from his.
You swung your hands a little as you walked to your favorite boutique, hoping to find something nice on sale or just walk around and look at different clothes together. But before you entered you were surprised to hear your name. Immediately you recognised the voice but Sunghoon was caught off guard. A foreign voice. A happy voice. A man's voice. The two of you turned around and spotted a man who looked like he belonged in a Kdrama. Sunghoon wished he hadn't been distracted by your touch as you led him to the boutique and that he instead dragged you two to a hot pot restaurant on the opposite side of the mall so you wouldn't have run into this perfect man but it was too late.
The demon with a picture perfect smile walked up with open arms to you two. Or to you and not Sunghoon to be specific. The handsome man hugged you in front of Sunghoon. His ears didn't turn pink like Sunghoon's would when he gave you a two second hug in public. And omg you hugged this man back!
He pulled the rude, good-looking male stranger by his coat, gently separating the two of you.
"Who are you, again?" Sunghoon asked, very confused as to why a male he doesn't know would feel comfortable hugging his girlfriend right in front of his face.
"Oh, I'm sorry, I got a little carried away when I saw her," the guy said with a grin, which made Sunghoon clench the fist that was once in your hand.
"My name's Yeonjun. ____ and I have known each other for more than six years now, right?" He said, looking at you, not Sunghoon.
"Yeah, I think it's been five, six years already. Time goes by so fast!"
Sunghoon gulped. He hadn't even known you for half that time.
"And we haven't seen each other in so long!" the so-called Yeonjun went to your side, entering the boutique together. Sunghoon felt his mouth go dry at how Yeonjun referred to the two of you as "we" and walked side by side with you so naturally. This fucking doucheb—
"Yeonjun, this is my boyfriend, Sunghoon," you made sure to introduce them to each other since Yeonjun got too excited and talked too much too fast and forgot to ask for your boyfriend's name (which was very much his character).
"Nice to meet you, Sunghoon," Yeonjun held his hand in front of you to shake Sunghoon's hand.
But your otherwise sweet, polite boyfriend pretended like he didn't see the waiting hand, "Likewise," holding your hand instead.
This was supposed to be his day with you, not handsome Yeonjun's day with you. You were supposed to walk slowly, look around for nothing in particular, arms hooked together (your doing), sipping your lattes until they were half empty so you could switch cups!
The thing is, the two of you were right by the entrance to this boutique heading inside when Yeonjun came so its not like you could pretend you were going to another store to get out of this situation or you would seem rude for blowing him off for no reason, especially since he's been your friend of six years. Or have you two been a thing? Was Yeonjun your friend as in you were in the same class at uni or your friend as in ex who you ended on extremely good terms with or — even worse — was he a "right person, wrong time" type of "friend"? No. He's overthinking it. Surely, you would've told him about all your exes already and Yeonjun's name had never been mentioned. Besides you were a smart person, you wouldn't get into a relationship with Sunghoon if you had feelings for or unfinished business with Yeonjun or anyone else.
But the hug. The way Yeonjun showed you physical touch so easily, no sign of insecurity or blushing. Your comfortable body language, as if you've hugged Yeonjun hundreds of times before.
"Do you remember this?" Yeonjun said, holding up a small pink purse.
"Yes, I do remember," you laughed at the memory.
"What?" Sunghoon looked so lost. You two had inside jokes together!
"After you won a bet, I told you I'd buy you a pink purse one day."
"Yeah. We were stressed kids back," you smiled at the reminiscence. You had gotten a higher score on a test so Yeonjun had promised to buy you whatever you wanted and the first thing you could think of at that time was a pink purse. Since he lost the bet during high school, you didn't expect him to buy it since he didn't have a lot of money and also because it was better to save whatever money he had. But high school was long gone and you hadn't thought of the purse since but Yeonjun remembered.
"Now I have the money to do so..." he continued.
"I already got that same exact purse for her," Sunghoon interrupted before Yeonjun went too far, noticing that was the only pink purse in this section so Yeonjun wouldn't be so rude as to suggest buying another pink purse with another design. Of course, Sunghoon didn't want a handsome man to buy his girlfriend a purse that would remind her of him each time she looked at it — unless that handsome man was Sunghoon, of course.
You looked at Sunghoon after he told the lie, but didn't say anything because he'd also do the same for you if he knew you told a lie to or kept a secret from someone.
"Really? You got her a 30€ purse?"
Now that was rude.
"Well, I really wanted this purse, so the price doesn't really matter," you said, embarrassed your friend would say that to your boyfriend.
"Of course! Of course! If you wanted the purse," Yeonjun tried to save the situation, realizing what he sounded like. He sent a friendly smile at the two of you and started looking through a rail of T-shirts.
After a few minutes of trying to find something that was cute on the sale rack, you called your friend over. "This one would look really good on you, Junnie," you held up a white dress shirt in silk that you found on 30% sale.
"You think so?"
"Yeah, I think you pull off this kind of aesthetic well."
Hm, how do I get her to only look at me? How do I get her to only look at me? How do I get her to only look at-
Sunghoon walked up to the two of you, "Do you wanna switch cups, Love? I know you love caramel latte and it will get cold soon," he held the cup in front of your lips so you could taste it. He was right, you do love caramel latte and it tastes so much better warm. You smiled at him. The way he showed affection without having to touch, but just remembering any little fact about you and being caring always made your heart melt. You lifted the matcha latte cup to his lips, making him taste too and he did, but not without blushing. For a moment he forgot you were in public and he just wanted to lay down, tangle your legs and arms together and with the hot drinks getting cold on the table as a rom-com played in the background forgotten as you just looked at each other and talked and kissed—
"Guys, do you have anything to try on?" Yeonjun interrupted your little moment.
Then you switched cups before you looked over at Yeonjun. "I can't find anything I like for now—"
"Then you can come and rate this shirt on me. See if you were right that I would look good in it?"
Oh no. Sunghoon did not like this. He had to do something fast.
"Look, Love! You would pull off this dress so well," he half-yelled to get your attention and held up the first thing he in arms reach, blushing at both the dress and at the double entendre.
Your gaze turned to your boyfriend but your eyes visibly went from curious to a bit mad. It was a tight, red dress with a deep cleavage — and it was inappropriate for Sunghoon to suggest trying on or buying this kind of clothes in front of someone else, especially a friend you hadn't seen in a long time. But the fact that it had a lace bra under it, making it look like lingerie, was humiliating. You turned red. Not from blushing, but from fuming. It was very odd of your boyfriend to do that; the guy who blushed when you kissed his cheek at a restaurant when you were sitting alone held up this sexy dress and suggested you try on or buy it in front of Yeonjun.
Yeonjun turned away, awkward, "I'm just gonna go...try this on."
"What was that?" You questioned sternly.
"What was what?" Sunghoon gulped, still holding the dress.
You grabbed him by the collar of his shirt, "Are you trying to get punished?"
He remained quiet, tall but so small in your presence.
"Cat got your tongue? Hm? Talk, you didn't have a problem being loud just a minute ago," you whispered so others — especially Yeonjun — wouldn't hear you.
The sound of a door creaking was heard, which made you retreat your hand immediately and turn around.
"How does it look?" Yeonjun asked and scratched his neck as he showed off the white dress shirt you suggested.
"My eye was right. You should buy it," you gave him a thumbs up. Sunghoon did not like this.
"Thank y-"
"I wanna try it on too," Sunghoon interrupted him.
"Oh, sure, I can give it to you in a minute."
"Actually, I think I need a bigger size because of my shoulders so I'll just grab a fresh one." It was Sunghoon's turn to be rude.
He felt a minor adrenaline rush — if that even existed — as he power walked to the part of the clothing zoo where he remembered you had told Yeonjun to try on a shirt you found. At this point would do anything to keep your eyes on him instead of that guy. He hurried into the changing room, changing in just a minute and opened the door.
Your eyes were definitely on him. He had styled the shirt a bit differently than Yeonjun, choosing to keep the first four buttons undone, way sexier than the usual one or two undone buttons. The pure white silk complemented his skin, making him ironically look like an angel.
"You look really, really good, Baby."
It was a modest compliment, since you had company, but Sunghoon already knew what you were thinking as you eyed him up and down.
"It looked better on me though," Yeonjun said in a jokingly manner.
"No, I look better in it," Sunghoon said, "Right, Mommy?"
It slipped out. He didn't mean to say that. In fact, he's never called you that before.
Yeonjun gulped and stood up to go, "I'm gonna go pay for this real quick."
"You're gonna regret that," you said with a voice that was too calm.
"What you gonna do about it, Mommy?" Might as well go along with this brat thing.
"Guys, something came up so I gotta go. I just wanted to say bye!" Yeonjun appeared with a bag and an awkward smile.
"Bye," you said, hugging him farewell.
some minutes later.
After throwing the almost empty caramel latte in the trash, you slammed the door of the car (not hard, but a little louder than normal). Sunghoon had embarrassed you in front of an old friend, your angel acting like a brat. And he was just glad he had your attention.
"Love~"
You started the engine and took off, completely ignoring his cute calling.
"Mommy," he leaned over to your side, putting his face in your boobs.
"Brat," you pressed your hand harshly on his dick. He was hard. "You really got hard from acting like a desperate slut in public?"
"Mhm. More, Mommy," he whimpered in your ear.
"Slut," you pushed his face away with the hand that was giving him pleasure just now, placing his head gently onto the neck rest (still worried for him even when you were mad).
He smirked, ears red at the contrast of your words and pushing and then kindness. He needed more. So much more. Any little attention you had given to Yeonjun today, he needed that attention tripled. He would've acted like a brat much sooner today if he knew you would've taken him home to punish him.
With his eyes on you he undid his pants. He wanted to push the limit. You looked away from the road for a split second to catch a glimpse of what your boyfriend was up to, "What do you think you're doing?"
"Being a needy whore," he replied and slid his hand inside the pants.
"Touching yourself without my permission two minutes away from home? You're begging to be punished like the bitch you are," you chuckled and sped up.
"Yes, Mommy," he moaned both as an answer to your statement and because of the pleasure his hand was giving. Apparently he loved calling you that.
"Well, you're gonna get it soon, slut," you replied as you were parking.
At that, he went even faster with his hand to get on your nerves even more. And then you were parked. He went for the door in a second, excited for what was about to happen. You got out too and unlocked the door to your place. A slam was heard after you got in. Shoes were taken off and thrown to the side. Sunghoon took your jacket off for you. "Did I say you could touch me?"
Pink spread across his cheeks as he responded with a no, shy all of a sudden. You grabbed him by the collar of his shirt just like at the mall and dragged him to your bedroom. He almost couldn't keep up with your steps. Inside the bedroom you pushed him to the wall, a moan slipping out. You tugged his hair and pulled his head back harshly. "Pants off. Now."
They were on the floor in seconds. "No underwear? You took them off when you were trying on your shirt? Slut," you smirked and sat down on the foot of the bed in front of him.
"You know your place." He got over her lap, flashing his ass for her to admire. He had been doing weighted Romanian split squats at the gym lately. This position on your lap was one he had been in before. But never for acting out in public or calling you something inappropriate in front of a friend.
Your warm hand started rubbing his skin smoothly to prepare for punishment and joy. "Do you remember your safeword?"
"Pear."
"Do you remember my safeword?"
"Pineapple."
"Good. Count, if you don't we'll start over again. Understood, slut?"
"Yes, Mommy," he said with anticipation clear in his tone. He finally had all your attention on him — and your hands on him as well. This is exactly how he wanted the day to go: spend quality time together.
"How many do you deserve?" You asked to test him.
"Uhm... Ten?" He asked, playing dumb.
"Fifteen it is. Twenty if you misbehave," you said and gave him a harsh spank.
"One," he whimpered out, surprised.
The next one was harder.
"Two," he said under his breath.
"Can't hear you, princess," you slapped his ass cheek rougher.
"Three," he yelled out.
He kept his ground, but you wanted to wreck him for how he acted today — if he wanted to be hurt or just go he should've told you and not been a slut — so you hit harder, if possible.
"F-Four," he stuttered in defeat.
You smirked and brought your left hand to his hair, pulling it.
Your right hand blew him with the same strength as before.
"F-Five," he moaned from the beautiful pain.
Spank!
"Fuck! Six!" He cursed.
"Watch your language," you warned and raised your hand up higher and when it came in contact with his skin it made the loudest hitsound.
"S-Seven. So-So-"
Spank!
"-Sorry! Eight," he exclaimed in a moan so high pitched he was embarrassed.
Spank!
"Ah, nine," he moaned loud enough for the neighbours to be awkward around you next time you see them.
Spank!
"Ten. Mommy, please," he cried out of desperation, not sure if he wanted a break or more.
You were only halfway there, yet his dick already had pre-cum leaking out on your jeans.
"Please what?" You asked and delivered a harder one, knowing exactly what he needed.
"E-Eleven. Mommy, touch me, please," he begged pathetically, knowing you would deny him.
The spank got harder at that.
"Twe-elve," he whined like the bitch he was.
You pulled his head back and looked him in the eyes, "Be a good slut and you might get rewarded"
"Thank you, Mommy."
You let his head go back to rest on the bed (gently just like you'd done in the car) and then spanked him harder to see how much he could take.
"Thirteen," he called out.
His ass cheeks were as pink as his cheeks when you greeted him with a kiss to his temple at the mall.
Spank!
"Fo-Fourteen. Mommy!"
His dick stung at this point. He needed you to touch him so damn much.
Spank!
"F-Fifteen," he moaned, crushed.
He closed his eyes harder, waiting for the next spank.
To his surprise, you just touched his ass softly, grabbing here and there, "You were a good slut for me."
"Thank you, Mommy," his ears got pink at how gentle you were being, petting his hair, combing your fingers through it.
"As a reward you get my cum and if you're good enough you'll get to cum too," you whispered as you nibbled on my ear.
"Thank you, Mommy."
You pulled him off your lap, standing up and giving a peck to his forehead before softly pushing him back on the bed. You let your jeans fall down to the floor to be long forgotten. Sunghoon licked his lips at the sight of you in black panties. They were see-through! He was so distracted and suddenly the panties were gone and you were sitting on his waist.
"Please, Mommy, sit on me," he pleaded with a made-up sweet voice, wanting to be on your good side so you wouldn't tease him.
"How much do you want it?" You moved some hair away from his eyes, resting your hand on his jaw.
"So much. Please, please, sit on my face. I want to be good for you now, please," he made sure to look you in the eye with a small pout.
"I know you got jealous and acted like a slut because you wanted my attention, but you know I like good boys more, right?" You mock pouted at him.
He nodded fast, "I know. I'm so sorry, Mommy. Let me prove I'm your good boy. Please?"
"Since you begged so cutely...prove it to me," you said before you moved up until your pussy was above his face.
He eagerly stuck out my tongue and put in the tip between you folds to tease you a little and to prepare for what was coming.
"You think you're gonna make me cum this way, bitch?"
His tongue slipped in further and faster to taste your delicious juices. You arched your back slightly at the stimulation, he smiled against you and started nudging his nose gently against your clit. Your hands found their place behind you, on his stomach. You weren't satisfied with the feeling of fabric, so grabbed the hem of his shirt and lifted it up so you could touch the skin and small curves of his abs. Sunghoon definitely had more muscles than that guy. His hands went to your butt and, before you protested, they pushed you further down on his face and so his tongue went even deeper.
"Desperate for Mommy's cum?" You asked and grasped a handful amount of his wet hair.
He hummed against your pussy, sending vibrations; he was determined to make you cum so good you'd let him cum too. You yanked his hair slightly and he arched his back a little. To show his appreciation he kissed on your clit. Whimpers started spilling from your mouth and excitement and pride started filling him. Both his face and cock were glistening with pleasure and neediness.
"I'm gonna cum."
He nodded and dove in deeper and licked you like he had been thirsty for you his whole life. You pressed herself lower on him, moaning. He held your thighs as they were beginning to shake. His lips sucked on your clit as if it were your nipple and you finally blessed him with your tasty cum. He licked and slurped till there was nothing left to swallow.
"What do you say now?" You asked as you sat back on his chest, catching your breath.
"You're delicious- I mean, thank you, Mommy."
You chuckled and continued with a question, "Who deserves rewards?"
"Good boys," he replied happily.
"Are you a good boy?"
"Yes, Mommy."
"Yes, you are. Take this off," you said and tugged his shirt, "That shirt from today looked better on you anyway."
He took it off as soon as you told him to. His dick was still standing proud, red from the pleasure and resistance.
"Please, Mommy, sit."
"You think I'm going to let your slutty dick inside me just like that? Go get a condom now."
He hurried to his bag, stark naked in the sunlight from the window. But he didn't care, he just wanted to be inside Mommy. When he got back you had already gotten nude — and that was enough for him to open the condom, put it on and throwing himself on the bed in seconds.
"Don't get too comfortable, sit up," you ordered him as you crawled onto the bed.
He obeyed and rested against the headboard, attention on you. You continued crawling until you sat on his lap.
"Your thighs are so thick and sexy."
"Thank you," he blushed because he'd been going to the gym consistently and your validation made him proud.
"Feels like a sin to make them tremble, but oh well."
You lowered yourself on him until long moans littered the air, both of you sensitive; you from a little overstimulation right after cumming and him from ignoring his pink dick for so long. Without preparation or warning, you bounced up and down on him. He wondered where you get the stamina to do bounce on his dick so well.
"Thank you, thank you, thank you," he cried out.
He saw your boobs bouncing too and just had to start sucking on one of them, hand palming the other one. You gasped. He was very good with his mouth. Your hips moved faster and Sunghoon couldn't keep his moans inside as he switched his mouth to the other boob. He felt like a pervert but he really really loved how your boobs moved up and down when they weren't in his mouth. You tightened your fingers into his hair and made it harder for him to concentrate and suck. He looked up into your eyes through his long eyelashes and started licking your nipple before putting it between my lips.
"My slut."
He let go of your nipple, "No. I'm your good boy, please," and went back to sucking on it.
"Really?"
"Yes, yes, I am. Please, Mommy." Kiss after kiss was placed on your boobs as an apology for being a shameless horndog back at the mall.
"Such a good boy."
"Mhm," he mumbled not letting go of your nipple, sucking harder, needing you to praise him more.
Your thighs were trembling, an orgasm coming soon. Sunghoon was close too, but he needed your permission first. "Mommy. Mommy. I-" A moan disrupted his sentence. "Ngh, Mommy. I-I'm gonna cum."
You yanked his head back at that and put your lips on his neck, "Cum for me, my good boy."
He filled the condom with his cum.
"Th-Th-Thank you, Mommy."
Your hips rode out his orgasm and he moaned like a slut the whole time. "Mommy, hurts."
"Good." You continued overstimulating him, chasing your second orgasm. He bit his lip, trying not to moan too loudly. Then you came too with a small bite to his neck.
You laid on top of him, just hugging, breathing each other in and pecking at each other's faces and shoulders.
"Want me to run us a bath, Baby?"
His answer was a small pout — your weakness — and a soft nod.
You got up and held his hand, leading him to the bathroom where you threw away the condom in the trash and swayed slowly back and forth as you hugged, waiting for the bathtub to fill with warm water.
"Oh! Almost forgot something," you were confused when Sunghoon let go of the hug.
You smiled as soon as you saw him come back with a lighter and caramel scented candle.
✧ ੈ ✧ ‧₊˚ * ੈ ✧‧₊˚＊* ੈ ✧ ‧₊˚ * ੈ ✧‧₊˚＊* ✧ ੈ ✧
"I wanna be your vacuum cleaner
Breathing in your dust
I wanna be your Ford Cortina
I will never rust
If you like your coffee hot
Let me be your coffee pot
You call the shots, babe
I just wanna be yours"
—alex turner
#sub!sunghoon#sub!enhypen#dom!reader#sub!kpop#sub!idol#sunghoon smut#sunghoon hard thoughts#sunghoon x reader#sunghoon imagines#enhypen smut#enhypen hard thoughts#enhypen x reader#enhypen imagines#sub sunghoon#sub enhypen#sub kpop#sub idol#dom reader#sunghoon scenarios#enhypen scenarios#kpop smut#pwp fics#kpop pwp
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horses are still overrated
pairing jeong yunho x f!reader
word count 2k
genres fluff﹒smut
warnings 18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT, mature language, established relationship, mentions of voyeurism, dirty talk, marking-ish, mutual masturbation, kissing, slight cum eating shhhhh don’t say anything, pet names: baby, babe, princess
summary new relationships always have room for experimenting, and well, you and yunho are no exception.
more ok so i tried doing these in ask format but i didn’t like it so we’re back to our regularly scheduled programming with a little update :P anyway,, this was for this request! it’s meant to be an extension of save a horse, ride a cowboy but can totally be read as a standalone! i kinda strayed from the initial req, but i hope this is still good… it’s still yunho day so <3 ALSO @bro-atz thank u for betaing my love i appreciate u so big!! pls reblog if u enjoyed!
@atzhouse
The few weeks that have passed since you and Yunho have confessed to each other have been nothing short of blissful.
He makes you feel like you’re soaring, ensuring that your happiness is the top priority. He embraces you in a way that’s not only physical, but emotional too. Like his feelings for you are their own special hug of warmth that envelopes you when you need it most. You could never get tired of him, could never return to your life back home like this summer never happened.
Because in all honesty, this summer was the best thing that could’ve ever happened to you.
You have a small smile on your face as you reminisce about the wonderful time you’ve spent here so far, leaning back into the bench on the farmhouse porch. Initially, you were sitting here to openly gawk after Yunho as he rounded up the cattle, but now you were too giddy to pay attention to that. You don’t notice him walking towards you directly, Yeoreum tailing behind him.
“What’s got you so cheesy today?”
You blink at his question, feeling a bit bashful. You’ll never get used to this view. “I was just thinking about us, and how happy you make me.”
“That’s cute,” he mirrors your expression, one hand on the back of the bench to hold his weight and the other coming up to cup your jaw, lips pecking yours gently. “Ready for dinner?”
“I have a confession to make,” you start as you’re washing the dishes after dinner.
“What’s up?” Yunho asks you from the other side of the kitchen, putting away the leftovers. He shuts the refrigerator and leans against it, arms crossed over his chest. You swallow thickly.
“I’ve just had this on my chest for so long and I need to get it off before I explode,” you ramble, avoiding his eyes as you scrub a plate. “Promise you won’t judge?”
“I promise,” he chuckles, and you can hear his footsteps as he gets closer. “I won’t judge you.”
Your sigh comes out as more of a shudder, Yunho’s arms wrapping around your middle and his chin resting on your shoulder. The new proximity makes you ten times more nervous to say your piece, your heart beating erratically behind your rib cage. This is fine. This is great actually. (No it’s not!)
“Do— um— do you remember the day before Seojun and I broke up?” Your hands are trembling slightly.
“When you gave Yeoreum a bath, right?” He nods, the movement bothering you slightly because it has his chin digging into your shoulder uncomfortably. “What about it?”
”So…” You have to pause the dishes, your hands clamming up so much that you think the handle of your sponge will fly out of your grasp. “That night, when my lightbulb went out, I actually went out to go grab you. But— uh— I saw something… else… instead…”
Your eyes squeeze shut, entirely too mortified to even think about what his reaction could be. It’s been a minute since the ordeal played out, so really you didn’t have to say anything. Part of you felt like you couldn’t continue this relationship in good conscience without being totally honest, though.
Strong hands wrap gently around your wrists, turning you around to face him. He tsks, “Open your eyes, princess.”
His eyes are soft, no hint of disappointment or disgust on his features as he stares back at you. His lips curl into a smug smile after a couple seconds, cupping your jaw and caressing your cheek with his thumb. You blink at him, a little confused by the shift in atmosphere, but not complaining.
“You’re not—?”
“You watched me fuck my fist, is that right?” Yunho asks so bluntly, so vulgarly. “Tell me, what did you do after that?”
It’s easy to divert your gaze again, focusing on how interesting the material of his button up suddenly is. It’s one thing to admit that you stood there and watched for a bit, it’s another to admit you stuffed yourself with your own fingers not even fifteen minutes later. But you think he already knows that, based on your behavior and some good ol’ context clues.
“I… I touched myself,” you whimper, ashamed of how you’re getting turned on. The worst part is the fact that he’s enjoying this. He’s enjoying the way he has you folding for him so quickly. “To the thought of you…”
Yunho’s grip on your chin tightens and his eyes flutter shut with a groan. “Fuck, baby, that’s so hot…”
You weren’t sure how this would go, and a piece of you genuinely thought he might even end things with you. Any other person would think you were sick and perverted, but not him. It makes you feel a lot better and a lot more secure in your relationship.
Your tongue pokes out of the corner of your mouth, grazing the pad of his thumb. He hisses, cursing under his breath, letting you wrap your lips around and suck the finger. Yunho stares with not a single coherent thought behind his eyes. He’s losing his composure, pressing his thumb down on your tongue.
“Do you think you can tell me? How exactly did you touch yourself?” He purses his lips, his free hand slipping into the opening of your overalls, dragging his finger along the exposed skin of your waist. You shake your head with a whine.
”Yun… That’s embarrassing…”
He pulls his hand out of your overalls, hooking the digit into your belt loop and yanking you closer. His mouth is dangerously near your own, lips brushing yours when he speaks. “I wanna know. Need to picture my pretty princess fucking herself desperately ‘cause her fingers aren’t enough to get her off.”
Your legs feel like jelly, your cunt clenching around nothing just by his words alone. Yunho had always done such a good job at being the sweet and doting partner everyone wanted. He was attentive, praised you like you were a living, breathing goddess. But this dirty side of him is different. And you like it a lot more than you should.
“O-Okay…” You swallow thickly, and suddenly he’s spinning you so his chest is to your back. He urges you towards the bedroom, attaching his lips to your neck and sucking the supple skin gently, tenderly.
”Go on,” he says between kisses, still pushing you until you’re standing in the middle of his room. Your eyes already feel heavy and you haven’t done anything yet. “Tell me.”
”I— um— I thought about your hands and how big they are,” your tone is shaky, and you hope you don’t sound stupid. “Thought about how good it would feel to have them all over me. I pictured that it was your fingers inside of me. Imagined your cock, and how big it is.”
“Is that so? I’m just not getting the visual, babe. I think I need you to show me.” He hums, a hint of amusement in his voice. As if this couldn’t get more embarrassing, now he wants you to finger yourself in front of him? You’re about to protest, but he’s pressing your lower back to the mattress and talking against the corner of your mouth again, teasing you because he knows he can. “If you’re good for me, I’ll fuck you so well, you won’t be able to forget the shape of my cock.”
You nod with a whimper, hopping onto the bed and scooting all the way up to the pillows. Your hands are wobbly as you undress yourself, unbuckling your overalls and kicking them off your feet. Of course you chose the worst day to dress the part. Yunho sits at the edge, watching you with an unreadable expression.
When you’re in nothing but your top and panties, he clears his throat, leaning back onto his palms. His tongue darts out to wet his lips. “Move your underwear to the side for me, princess. Let me see your pretty pussy.”
It’s almost impossible to hold back a moan, following his instructions. You glide your middle finger through your folds, showcasing how you’re practically dripping for him in the amount of time it’s taken you to get from the kitchen to here. He exhales through his nose, legs spreading to give you a glimpse of an uncomfortable looking bulge in his pants.
You sigh deeply at the sight, circling your finger around your clit slowly. The thought of being the cause behind it, of getting Yunho so hot and bothered, drives you crazy and has you curling your toes.
“Just like that,” he encourages, tossing his denim button up to the floor. He palms over his erection, tilting his head slightly. “Can you do some more for me?”
“Mhm,” is all you can manage to force out, doing what he asked. You shove your ring and middle fingers inside of yourself, finally releasing a moan at the intrusion. You keep pressure on your clit with the heel of your palm. There’s silence between you save for the occasional whine.
Yunho shivers, shimmying out of his pants so he can stroke himself freely. You gawk at him with bated breath, biting your lip as your fingers pick up their pace. There’s a knot that settles in the pit of your stomach, tightening and tightening in preparation for that special moment.
The view of him spread out in front of you, fucking up into his hand with hooded eyes trained on your own playing with your cunt, is too much. He’s wearing that same godforsaken white tank top as he was the night you saw him, the muscles in his forearm and bicep flexing with each twist of his wrist, each pump of his cock.
You feel like you’re drooling, ogling at him like he was a piece of meat. But you couldn’t help it. Yunho was the most attractive man you’d ever laid eyes on. The longer you stare, the further you fall. That’s a conclusion you’ve come to a little too late.
“‘M close, Yun,” you moan, arching your back off of the pillows, head almost clunking against the headboard. “Wanna cum with you.”
“I’m almost there, too, baby,” he grunts, teeth gritted as he runs his thumb over his slit. That has a loud whine spilling from your lips, your feet digging into the mattress. You don’t know how much longer you can last.
Your fingers try to reach that spongy, sensitive spot deep in your cunt, but you can’t. It seems that only Yunho’s long, thick fingers could accomplish that feat. No wonder you were so obsessed with his hands.
You opt for using the fingers of your free hand to swipe quickly at your clit while the others curl and thrust into you, inching you toward that steep cliff that has stars decorating your vision. Judging by the volume of his sounds getting higher and higher, you can tell Yunho’s right there with you.
One particular absentminded curse from him has your brain short circuiting, that promise of release washing over you almost violently. Your body aches and quivers, orgasming harder than you ever had just with your own hand. (You’d like to think the presence of a certain cowboy had everything to do with it.)
He groans and follows behind shortly after, painting his hand in milky white. The two of you try to catch your breaths, laying there for a couple moments to recuperate. After a while, Yunho leans over to kiss you gently, squeezing your cheeks with his cum covered hand. You scrunch your nose.
“You’re getting it on my face!”
“That was the goal,” he laughs, pressing another sweet kiss to your lips. You roll your eyes, licking away whatever was near your mouth. He groans again. “Fuck, are you trying to kill me? Purposely?”
“Maybe,” you shrug. “I remember being told you’d fuck me if I did good for you. Where’s my reward?”
“Trust me, I didn’t forget.”
© yunhoszn. do not steal, claim, or repost.
#atzhouse#ateez#ateez x reader#ateez smut#ateez jeong yunho#ateez yunho#ateez yunho x reader#ateez yunho smut#jeong yunho x reader#jeong yunho smut#yunho x reader#yunho smut#yunhoszn#📮 — reqs
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The stars, the moon
Pairing: Anthony Bridgerton x fem!reader
18+ MDI!
Warnings: Talk of drinking, sexist old ideas about women, talk of sex, Anthony being a cutie shhh, oral sex, penetrative sex, dirty talk, body worship (f receiving), heavy praise, lovemaking more than hardcore sex oopsies
A.N: YOU GUYS ARE SO SWEET TO ME ISTG T-T the love on my first two fics is so heartwarming. i'm so very glad you liked them both so much ^-^ Benny and Bridgerton as a whole are both so very important to me so i'm glad i did them both well. anyways my loves, this is an Anthony fic that i hope i can do as well as i did Ben. i was listening to Cosmic Love by Florence and The Machine and it gave me this idea! soooo here is an incredibly fluffy, (and smutty hehe) love filled Ant fic hehe<3 enjoy and thank you again <3 p.s that scene the gif is from sends my mind into a spiral CONSTANTLY my roman empire fr p.p.s I FINALLY GOT DIVIDERS, so now my fics will look a little cleaner i hope hehe >_<
Growing up next to the Bridgertons had been fun and eventful, to say the very least. You were there through every trial and tribulation their family had gone through, and them with yours.
You and your three sisters had always gotten along with the seven siblings. Being the youngest and most... rambunctious of them you had gotten along with Eloise and Benedict the most. They had views of marriage and duty that were similar to yours, and when you were younger you and Benedict would spend hours making doodles on the walls of the gardens at your estate.
Your sisters, who were much more of the traditional women you would often find in the ton, tended to be more akin to the eldest Bridgerton brother and sister. Daphne and Anthony, however kind and loving they both were, were always too strict or, in Daphne's case, too proper for your liking.
You had always thought of Anthony as the moon. He thrived in darkness and was often gone before you even noticed he was there. You never knew why he left balls early, or why you spotted him with that opera singer in the deepest corners of gardens or tucked away in libraries.
Until you grew up, that is. The first time you snuck out of the confines of your room was when you were ten and eight, right after the first ball of your first social season. Benedict had insisted on you sneaking out the window of your bedroom so you could tag along with him to a party a fellow artist was throwing, and you, out of pure curiosity, obliged.
You got there and had your first everything while Benedict was painting, or so he claimed, in another room. You kissed the lord, whose name you cannot remember to this day, and then you went beyond that. Sex. It was wonderful, you decided, and from then on you had much more of it.
Anthony was perceptive, he noticed the change in your behavior and one night even decided to ask Benedict about it. Benedict being Benedict told him everything in his usual carefree manner, not thinking twice about it. Anthony reacted quite strangely however, he just... turned on his heel and walked into his study, locking himself in for hours.
He avoided you at all costs from then on. It was strange, but then again, he was the moon. The moon cannot be out forever.
Anthony had always thought of you as the stars, a happy, mischievous young woman who thrived in the dark. You provided a light to every room you walked into that was too great for anyone to look away from. You were intricate, difficult to read and figure out, and yet you were also so intriguing that every man wanted to do just that.
You were also incredibly mischievous, he knew that from the moment you were born. Being eight years older, and a close family friend, Anthony was one of the first who got to meet you. You had always had that sparkle in your eye, like you were in on this grand plan that no one else was.
When you got older, it only got worse. You were constantly getting in trouble, whether that be drawing on your garden's brick walls with his brother or reading books about math or, fittingly, astronomy. Your father always described you as boyish, to which he would have to agree. You got into fencing when you were ten and two and immediately had a knack for it. When you were six and ten, you snuck off with Benedict and got taught how to hunt.
He was never attracted to your sisters as they were too... boring for his taste. They had interests in things like the latest fashion trends, or hairstyles, and he was sure that none of them had ever glanced at a book. It was quite comforting to know, that because of your foolish ways and thinking, he would never be attracted to you either. Or so he thought.
You were wearing a light blue dress when you entered your first ball, your arm tucked snugly with your father's. Your hair was pinned up more elegantly than he had ever seen it, a few of the still unruly, wavy strands fluttering in the breeze that your white fan made. Stunningly gorgeous in every way, and so ladylike. It was strange.
He had almost assured himself that he would never feel this way towards any woman like you, after all, his list of requirements for the next Viscountess was long and specific, to say the least. Yet there you were, walking towards his family, and he was very much sure he was attracted to you.
So when he noticed the jewelry you started using to hide the dark marks on your neck and the silly excuses you would use to leave balls early, it was worrying. He asked Benedict and his worst fears were made a reality, your innocence was gone. You were loose, in his mind. He could not, no would not, be attracted to a woman without her maidenhead. He refused.
The only way he could avoid that attraction was to avoid you at all costs, which is exactly what he did. He excused himself from every room you walked into, and every conversation. On the rare occasion that you somehow managed to worm yourself into a conversation with him, however, he gave short answers and cold glares.
His heart ached when he noticed your light dim after he left, but then again you were the stars. All stars have to burn out someday.
You found his insistence on completely avoiding you to be quite tiresome, after all, you considered him to be like a brother. An annoying, headstrong, arrogant, prick of a brother but a brother nonetheless.
You look over your shoulder to where he is talking to a young debutante, wishing that he would at least glance over. You would never admit it to yourself, but after his company waned you missed it quite a lot. You could talk to Benedict or Eloise, sure, but there was something about annoying Anthony that made your heart flutter and your cheeks flush.
"Miss L/N, are you listening?" The lord, who you were supposed to be listening to, asks. You quickly turn back to him and part your lips to make an excuse, but quickly think better of it. "No, my lord. I apologize, my mind seems to be running from me tonight." You mutter with a soft smile. He nods in turn before continuing to speak about his latest hunting trip, in which you have absolutely no interest.
You excuse yourself when he is done rambling and make your way toward the Viscount, wanting to finally know the real reason why he has made it his life's mission to avoid you. You wish, so desperately, to see the moon again.
He sees you coming and his heart tightens, you look as beautiful as always. You are wearing dark blue, a gorgeous dress he thinks, and your hair is done up just how he likes it. You have on gold jewelry, which sparkles in the low candlelight with every step you take.
He should talk to you, he really should, and yet he cannot bring himself to. You are not the kind of woman he wishes to make the next Viscountess, not even close to checking off any of the boxes he has on his long list for what a woman should be.
So, instead, he settles for leading the young woman he is speaking with to the dance floor. He passes you without a word but falters momentarily when he catches a whiff of your perfume. Your scent, even.
You had always smelled, however strange it might sound, so comforting. Your family's colors were a light purple, the crest having two bunches of lavender flowers on it. You smelled the part, always having some semblance of lavender to you that wafted through the room whenever you entered. It wasn't strong, no, but it was just enough to get his heart racing. It wasn't just lavender that made it so intoxicating, there was something else there. Something that he could only describe as just... you. He smiles to himself at the many fond memories that come with it.
He catches the young woman looking at him in confusion and quickly puts on a straight face, continuing to walk her to the dance floor, but not before noticing the look of despondency on your face. His heart aches, but it must be done. He could not let himself fall for you, no matter how much he longed to see the brightness of the stars again.
Your heart breaks when he walks past you with nothing but a faint semblance of a smile, and for whatever reason, you feel yourself tear up. You wonder if you had done something wrong, or said something in a passing conversation that had rubbed him the wrong way. Perhaps even entertained a man he had trouble with. Whatever it was, you did not like the unfamiliar feeling his avoidance brought.
Something that you had always hidden from everyone, including yourself, was your feelings. You felt no need to be a woman who expressed love openly, nor a woman who got teary at the slightest inconvenience. It is why you liked the parties you went to, sex and alcohol were wonderful to drown out feelings that you would rather not feel. Something else you had always hidden or shoved down, was your feelings for Anthony.
He was gorgeous, that much was obvious, what with his grey eyes and his thick brown hair. The things that you didn't like, such as his ignorant views of women, or his want to always be the best, were often drowned out by the fact that the man was extremely loving and protective of those he cared about. Not only that, but he was like you in that he was truly sensitive when he did not try and shove it down. He made you want to sing his praises from every balcony in London, to profess your love in front of all of the ton so everyone could see that he was yours.
You realize you have been standing in the same spot for what has to be at least five minutes now, and that a tear that had escaped in your reminiscing has now made it down your cheek. You quickly walk out to a balcony and lean on the railing, and for once, you allow yourself to cry.
He finds you after his dance with the incredibly boring debutante he decided to occupy himself with. He didn't want to find you, but his feet automatically found themselves to you. As if something deep inside him was naturally drawn to you and your stupid free-spirited nature.
He crowds around your back. "Is everything alright?" He whispers and is completely taken aback when he sees your face. You look up at him with tears rolling down your cheeks. It was surprising to say the very least as he cannot remember the last time he saw you cry. "My God, Y/N, what happened?" He asks, placing a hesitant hand on your shoulder.
"Why do you hate me?" You whisper back, and he is even more surprised than before. Hate? God he could never hate you, sure he avoided you, but he could never truly hate anything about you. No matter how much he tried.
He was just standing there like he had not been avoiding you for the past two months. Like he had not ignored your every attempt to speak with him, like he had not completely shattered your soul. It made you so angry that you could not stop the foolish words slipping past your lips.
"It is as if I have committed a cardinal sin, as if I am some heathen you cannot stand to be around and not a woman you grew up with." You say, taking a deep breath as heartbreak shifts to anger. "It is not fair. I have wracked every corner of my memory trying to figure out what I have done wrong and still, I turn up with nothing. I..." You falter and turn to look up at the stars. "You are so distant. I find myself aching without you, Anthony. Like a piece of my soul has broken off with your disappearance and is with you for eternity." You whisper, closing your eyes briefly before turning back to him.
"I ask you again, why do you hate me? What have I done?" You plead, searching his eyes for any semblance of his old self. His eyes widen in response and he takes one of your hands. "I do not hate you. God Y/N, how could I ever hate you?" He breathes and your heart flutters at the look in his eyes. As if you are the only woman on earth. He has returned back to you. The moon has risen again.
"I... I have tried to hate you, yes, but every time you are near something in me longs to touch you in ways that would make any lady blush. I hate that you make me feel this way, so foolishly in love that I can barely form a coherent thought, that the Viscount I am becomes but a memory, but I could never hate you." He confesses, bringing his hands to your waist.
Your eyes water as he continues. "You are a loose woman, or so I so foolishly tried to make myself believe. I ignorantly put that label upon you so I could have a reason to not profess from every rooftop in London how much I adore you and I can never forgive myself for it." He whispers, wiping the tears that have somehow escaped your eyes without your knowledge. "I will never be able to profess how sorry I am, but I can hope that in time you can forgive me for how foolish I have been." He whispers, pressing his forehead to yours.
"How long?" Is all you can manage to croak out in return to his beautiful confession, resting your hands atop his shoulders as your eyes flutter shut. "Since I was a young man, darling. Far too long I have kept it from you." He whispers back as your heart flutters at the title he has given you. "I have loved you since I was a girl." You whisper back. "So I suppose we are both fools." You grin.
He chuckles at that, his hands rubbing small patterns into the small of your back. "Always the witty one, hm? You are truly as bright and as mischievous as the stars, my love." Your heart hammers in the stars, at the way he calls you his love but even more than that, he thinks you to be the stars. "You and I have similar minds, Ant. I always thought you were like the moon, so serious and so attuned to darkness. Yet, so beautiful." You confess, opening your eyes to look into his own. Your cheeks flush at the sight that lies before you.
He is grinning, as if you had just given him the world. He leans in and presses a sweet kiss to your lips, to which you eagerly return as your eyes close and one of your gloved hands cups his cheeks. He pulls away after a moment. "The moon is nothing without the stars." He whispers, and you smile softly. "I shall ask your father for your hand come tomorrow if you let me." He murmurs, pressing a soft kiss to your brow.
Your heart flutters and you cup his cheeks. "I would love nothing more than to marry you, Anthony Bridgerton." You whisper and he grins, pressing his lips to yours once more. This kiss is more intense than the first, more confident as he knows that you are now officially his. You wish for nothing more than to melt into him, become his both body and mind for the rest of your days. The thought sends shivers down your spine, making your core heat up at the thought of finally sharing your most intimate self with the man who has plagued your thoughts for years.
As if reading your mind he pulls back, but only just. "Might I invite you back to my bedroom, my star?" He whispers, dipping his head down to press a kiss to your neck. You let out a shaky breath at the feeling and nod eagerly. "Please do." You whisper back and he grins, straightening back up and grabbing your hand before pulling you out to where the carriages are. Not before muttering something to Benedict, who smirks playfully and winks at the two of you in return.
One carriage ride full of open-mouthed kisses and love marks later and you are getting lifted out of the carriage and carried into the Bridgerton estate. You had so many fond memories here, you are elated that you would have the privilege of raising a family in the big estate. The thought of a family with Anthony makes your chest feel tight with emotion and you bury your face in the crook of his neck to calm yourself.
He notices the change of emotion as he carries you through the front door, ignoring the many questioning glances the both of you receive from the servants who still linger in the hallways, and kisses the top of your head. "What is it, darling?" He murmurs in your ear as he walks up the stairs, toward his bedroom.
"I am only being sensitive as I envision our future that I have for so long ached for." You whisper back, pressing a kiss to his neck to assure him that nothing is truly wrong. He groans a bit and smiles down at you as he ducks into his bedroom and places you on the bed. "It shall be a grand one. One filled with happiness and light, I assure you." He hums as he locks the door before climbing over you and peppering your face with kisses, which makes you giggle softly.
He moves his hands to your hair, taking out all of the intricately placed pins so he can see it in the state he loves the most, untamed and unruly, just like you. He runs his hands through your hair once he has it down, pressing kisses down your neck and to your collarbone which he bites. You whine softly at the feeling, but more so at the fact that you know he is going to leave marks. The thought of parading around a ball with his lovebites on your skin makes your cunt dampen and your thighs rub together in an attempt to relieve the ache that settles in your core.
He feels the movements of your body below him and groans as your knee brushes against his clothed cock accidentally, making him harden further than he already has. He continues to suck on the sensitive skin of your neck as his hands move under you. He pulls you up to a sitting position and presses his lips to yours, reveling in the soft noises he draws from you as his hands move to your back to work on the buttons that hold your dress up.
His tongue slides into your mouth and he lets out a groan as he exposes your bare back, the choice you made to forgo any undergarments becoming the smartest one you made all day. He makes quick work of your dress, parting from your lips as he throws it across the room. "Christ." He growls when he sits back and gazes at your naked body.
Your nipples are peaked from both the cold air of the room and the arousal caused by the way he is gazing down at you. The look of pure desire in his eyes makes you flood down your thighs, which he picks up on instantly. He grins, almost a cocky grin, before removing his clothes from the upper half of his body.
He bends down when he is bare-chested and kisses from your collarbone, down to your right breast. He sucks on the soft skin just to the side of your hardened nipple, making your hips cant up and into his, a whine escaping your lips. He chuckles deeply and moves a hand to yours, so you can have something to hang onto, the other moving to hold your hip down.
He pulls up briefly and rests his chin on your chest, gazing up at you adoringly. "You are perfect, Y/N. Every mark, every blemish, every imperfection is so gorgeous. So perfect for me." He murmurs and you flush, squeezing his hand in yours as a silent thank you as you are unsure if you could even form a sentence now. "Mine." He murmurs with a soft smile before returning his attention to your breasts.
He takes your nipple into his mouth and you cry out at the feeling of his tongue swirling around the bud. You squeeze his hand and your back arches up into him, making him groan. He pushes you back down, all while his mouth sucks and swirls at your sensitive nipple, and rubs soothing circles on your hip with his thumb.
After a moment, he moves to your other breast, giving that one just as much attention. You whine as he bites down softly before pulling up and beginning to mark each of your breasts. He lets go of your hip and smears his hand down your thigh, gently parting your legs as he kisses down your stomach.
You gasp as he gives a kiss to your naval and look down just as he flashes a cheeky grin. He continues his trail of kisses right down to your patch of hair, your free hand grasping at the sheets while the other squeezes his. You cry out when he licks a stripe up your slit, his tongue pressing onto your swollen clit.
He takes the sensitive bud into his mouth and swirls his tongue around it slowly, his hand moving back to your hips when you whine and try to grind against him. You roll your head back, pressing it into the pillow. You get a whiff of his scent and it sends a zing of pleasure to your abused clit just as he moves his mouth down to your swollen hole to drink from you like a man starved.
You moan into his pillow, taking the fabric into your mouth and sucking as pleasure ripples through your entire body. He moves his mouth back to your clit as he pushes one of his fingers into your body, groaning at how tight you are. You cry out, the sound still muffled by his pillow, at the feeling of his finger and the vibrations his noises send through your body.
He adds another finger and begins to curl them into your walls, hitting that spongey spot that makes you scream. Your toes curl as he pumps his fingers in and out of your body in tune with the swirling of his tongue against your clit. You finally take your face out of his pillow. "Close... Fuck please please please, Anthony." You babble as you begin to see stars. You come screaming his name, his fingers gripping your hip so hard you're sure you will be marked there too.
He cleans you up with his tongue before returning to your lips and giving you a swift, but sweet, kiss on your lips. He sits up and slowly rids himself of his trousers, his cock standing proud against his stomach. The sight makes you mewl and spread your legs even wider in anticipation of him filling you until his tip meets your womb.
He settles between your legs and takes both of your hands in his, pressing his forehead to yours. "I love you, Y/N." He murmurs. "I love you, Anthony." You return, and his lips are on yours. He slowly pushes his cock into your body, groaning into your mouth as you moan into his. He bottoms out and lets you adjust, kissing down your neck to your shoulder.
You gently push your hips down as a signal that he can move, and he grins against your skin. He begins to slowly rock in and out of your body, groaning at the noises he draws from your cunt. "Faster, Ant. Please." You gust into his hair, squeezing his hands tight in your own.
He does not need to be told twice. He begins to slam into your body, making your toes curl as you scream out. He continues his brutal pace, the sound of body meeting body filling the bedroom. He presses his forehead to yours just as your eyes shut. "Look at me." He whispers, stalling for a moment. "I want to see how good I make you feel. I've waited far too long for you to hide, my love." He breathes, and you open your eyes.
He gives that stupid arrogant smirk before beginning to thrust into you just as hard as before as if he never stopped. Your mouth hangs ajar, your mind too focused on the feeling of his cock to even try and stop the moans that flow freely from your mouth.
He moves a hand down your stomach, his thumb finding your clit and circling to the rhythm of his thrusts. He growls when you clench around his length and moan his name. He tucks his head into the crook of your neck. "Come with me." He whispers, biting down on the skin.
The action sends you over the edge. You come for the second time, screaming his name and he follows soon after, painting your insides with his seed. He works you through your orgasm before pulling out and nuzzling your neck.
After a moment he climbs off of you and saunters to his bathroom, leaving you dazed on the bed. You turn your head and press your face into his pillow once more, letting his scent calm you down. He returns a moment later and laughs warmly at the sight. You blush at the noise and look up at him. "Funny that," He says, gesturing to his pillow as he cleans your thighs with the washcloth he brought out. "I did the same thing today." He grins.
"Mmm. When was that, hm? Did you sneak into my bedroom?" You tease and he grins, shaking his head as he places the washcloth on the bedside and crawls into bed. "No, though I am flattered you would think I would be so bold." He hums, pulling you under the covers with him and taking you into his arms.
You smile softly and bury your face into his neck, closing your eyes. "I did it when I walked past you at the ball. The young woman I was talking to thought I went mad. I had to stop and think of all of the fond memories I have of you." He murmurs as he rests his head atop yours, kissing it softly before closing his eyes as well.
You smile softly at the thought of him stopping mid-step just to think of you. It warms your soul. "I love you." You whisper, slowly nodding off to the sound of his heartbeat.
"And I love you, my star." He whispers before following you into a deep slumber.
The moon truly cannot thrive without the stars.
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forgive me for what i haven't done
summary: you arrive at your enemy's kingdom under the guise of making peace. the prince being nice to you wasn't part of the plan.
genre: strangers to lovers, hurt/comfort
warnings: she/her reader, reader's father is emotionally manipulative and physically harms her, mentions of violence
word count: 17.5k
a/n: absolute massive thank you to @sulfurcosmos, @isilentprincess, and @woahfruity for reading this through and giving me your honest feedback. i truly appreciate you <3 this fic has sent me through the five stages of grief.
you can’t ignore the bruising grip your father has on your arm as he walks you to the steps of the large palace. the journey here was a mere two hours, but it feels like this palace was built out of another world altogether. it’s shorter than your own, absent are the dull reaching peaks and towers of your home, traded for warm bricks covered in snaking ivy and the shining sun peeking through powdery clouds. where it lacks in height, it makes up for in its expanse. the building was wider than any you’ve ever seen.
it was more beautiful than any building you’ve ever seen, too.
you hope your nerves don’t show as you throw one last glance back at the carriage you arrived in; it would soon take away your handmaidens that had made the journey with you, and you wouldn’t see them again until you went home. it makes your heart ache that the only people you felt comfortable with were leaving you behind. you try and focus on the present instead, knowing that wallowing in self-pity would get you nowhere. you had hours of meeting strangers ahead of you, making polite small talk with them and learning whatever information you could about the royal family until you could go to bed and be upset in private. you weren’t here for pleasure anyways, your father had reminded you as the carriage had pulled in. you were here for a reason.
the first person you make eyes with is the king, a kind looking man, hair and beard speckled with gray and a soft smile on his face as he takes in his visitors. he had invited you and your father here, a gesture of goodwill, an unspoken plea for peace between your two kingdoms.
“they want peace,” your father had scoffed, throwing the letter from the neighboring king to his desk. you watched as it slid off and fluttered to the floor. “the scum that killed your grandfather want peace, and they dare ask me to negotiate a treaty with them.”
“well,” you started, swallowing down your nerves like you did every time you spoke to your father. since your mother passed, all those years ago, you had taken over the role of his confidant, like he did with her. though, he never listened to your advice when you gave it; you were simply a body for him to talk at, to pour out his grief and frustration out on. “did the king not overthrow his own father? he is not the man that hurt our family, and i assume neither are his sons. can we not let the past stay in the past?”
the two kingdoms are small - a unity between you would open opportunities for new trading, allies in battle, new paths to resources that your people don’t see.
“their bloodline is rotten,” he says, definitive. “i would be doing the world a service by ridding it of their pitiful existence.”
his words of extremity did not surprise you; he spoke of all of the neighboring kingdoms in this way. he was not one for alliances, keeping the borders of his territory locked to outsiders, deeming them not fit to enter his kingdom. you can barely remember a time when foreigners or immigrants inhabited the now barren lands.
“and the people in their kingdom?” you question. “they are truly innocent. will they be given refuge here once their kingdom has fallen?”
“i do not care!” he spits out at you, eyes burning in anger, and you shrink back a little. “they will burn along with their miserable rulers. i will find a way to take them down, all of them, to make them pay for what they did to my family. and you, gods help me, will do as i say.”
and you would. in truth, you had barely even considered going against him. you were alone, you had no options other than following through with his wishes, no escape from him and his cruelty. you had nowhere to go that he would not find you. and yet, he remained vexed as he moved closer to you, speaking quietly in a manner that was more terrifying than if he was yelling at you. his fingers curl around your upper arm, like a warning-
“welcome,” the king’s voice breaks you out of your memory, and you muster up a smile for him. “thank you for making the journey here. and please, call me stephen. you are esteemed guests here, no need for formalities.”
your father doesn’t offer the same notion back, nodding coldly at your side. king stephen furrows his brow for a moment, and it’s clear on his face that he’s caught off guard. so expressive for a royal, you muse as he shakes his head and the smile returns to his face.
“my sons,” stephen gestures to the boys standing by his side, the ones you had yet to lay your eyes on. “crowned prince christopher, his betrothed, the lady roseanne, and our youngest, felix.”
betrothed? you did not know the older son was engaged. this complicates things. you can feel the anger coming off in waves from your father, and you place your hand on his forearm for a moment. not now, please, you mentally beg, and you almost sigh in relief when the tension leaves his body, turning your attention to the two royals in front of you.
the taller of the two dons a mop of curly hair under his circlet, cleanly pressed clothes shining with the royal blue of their family. a striking woman is at his side, an arm loosely curled around his. as he moves forward to greet your father, linking arms like the king had, your attention is drawn to the boy left standing alone.
the shorter boy is what you can only describe as ethereal. his features are sharp in all the right places, smoothed out by soft planes and dips covered in starlight scattered freckles. his clothes are similar to that of his brother’s, but no crown adorns his head.
he might be the most beautiful man you’ve ever seen. it makes your knees weak.
“i am felix,” he says, his voice deeper than you would expect from the gentle features of his face. he dips his head a bit, a sign of respect, as he takes your hand and presses a gentle kiss to the back of it. your voice is steady when you respond with your own name, and you’re glad for it.
his attention is diverted when your father’s hand lands on your shoulder, his touch more gentle than it ever is whilst away from prying eyes.
“my daughter, princess y/n,” he announces, a proud smug on his face when you shyly curtsey. he must think your timidness is a ploy to get their trust, and not as a result of the raging nervousness boiling under your skin.
“it’s an honor to meet you, your highnesses,” you meet each of their eyes, looking for any sign of malice, but you find none.
“come inside, please,” the king beckons, and the circle of knights that had been flanking him move aside gracefully to make way to the tall archway leading inside the palace. you’re once again taken away by the beautiful architecture inside, melting candles lining the walls made of warm brick. “we will begin the peace talks tomorrow, spend the day settling from your journey.”
“we will go freshen up,” your father states, cutting your exploration short with a poorly concealed fake smile donning his face. you hope no one else can see through him the way you can. “and we will meet you for dinner?”
he doesn’t wait until the king answers before he pulls you off to a hallway, beckoning over a servant and barking at him to show you both to your chambers. you pray to the gods that your hosts see your father’s unorthodox behavior as a difference in customs, rather than rudeness. the servant looks flustered, eyes wide as he directs you to your adjoined chambers, and you almost feel bad for him. you’re sure he can tell when your father’s anger returns, getting stronger the further you walk from the royal family, and you keep your head bowed until the two of you are behind closed doors.
he lets go of your arm harshly, almost throwing you off of him in his haste and if you weren’t so afraid you would remind him that he probably shouldn’t yell as you’re sure he was about to do.
“he is engaged?” he growls out, teeth gritted together in fury. “this was not in the intel that i was given. this does not fit into our plan!”
his plan was for you to woo the prince, get him to fall in love with you, and then to kill his father and take the throne. nevermind the extensive gaps that he didn’t care to think out, that you weren’t brave enough to tell him about. the thought of the prince not going along with the neighboring king taking over his kingdom never crossed his mind; it was either extreme hubris or immense stupidity on his part. perhaps it was both.
“will i have to marry him? the prince?” you asked, avoiding his eyes. you kept your voice as leveled as you could, but you couldn’t completely mask the apprehension you were feeling.
“you will do whatever is necessary to gain his trust. if the boy proposes, you will accept.” he said, clinical and cold like he wasn’t gambling with your life. if your father was correct, these men were murderers, men who killed others in cold blood. what would the prince do if he discovered your father’s plan? how long was he expecting you to keep up this charade?
“control yourself,” he says when he takes in the tears pricking at your eyes, the wobbling of your lips as the gravity of his words sink in. “those of our class do not weep so easily.”
“what do we do now?” you ask, regretting it almost immediately when his anger turns towards you. you had wished, foolishly so, that he may forget this revenge-fueled nonsense and let you go home.
“i do not know, stupid girl. why do you not think of something instead of having me do everything for you?” you pray that no servants were listening in through the door, and no knights were making their patrol past the hallway. with how loud he’s speaking, there would be no hiding his ill intentions. “i thank the gods you were born a woman and i can marry you off. with how useless you are, there would be no helping my kingdom with you as a ruler.”
the words sting, your heart aches at the cold insult he’s thrown at you, but it’s not the first time he’s said something like this. it’s at the tip of your tongue to tell him that this wasn’t even your plan, that you didn’t want to betray this kingdom in the first place, that you’re tired of being his pawn in a game only he wants to play. you want to tell him that you would be a better ruler than he is if given the chance, that you almost hope for the day that he keels over and dies because you would be free of him. but you’ve learned to hold your tongue in times like this, knowing that he only says these things out of frustration; flashes of the kind man he used to be when you were younger play through your mind, calming you down as you scramble for some kind of answer.
“i will go after the younger one,” you start, a half-baked plan forming in your head. “if king stephen and christopher are out of the way, he is next in line for the throne, is he not? we just have a couple more people to get out of the way. befriend the king, distract him and make him trust you. i will handle the prince.”
you disappointed yourself by expecting some kind of verbal affirmation, some kind of praise for doing something right, but all you get from your father is a curt nod and a gesture to leave his chambers.
a nod was better than nothing. a nod was silent assurance that you were doing something right, that he was wrong about you. that you could think for yourself.
when you enter the hallway, you catch a glimpse of the servant from earlier peeking around the corridor. you smile at him, hoping that he had heard nothing and that your face didn’t betray the whirlwind of emotions clouding around in your head. he simply smiles back, foxy eyes crinkling and he nods at you before disappearing.
───•───•───✧𓆩⟡𓆪✧───•───•───
dinner was an incredibly awkward affair; all throughout the meal, you couldn’t avoid meeting eyes with felix from where he was sitting across from you, and you flushed and looked away every time. his eyes were striking, soft browns highlighted with specks of gold reflected from the candlelight. this was the boy you were supposed to woo and manipulate, and you couldn’t even meet his eyes. gods help you.
you weren’t sure if your hosts could sense the concealed hostility in your father’s voice, but you could. he was doing a poor job of hiding his apathy, answering king stephen’s questions with short words or grunts. he eyed his food with judgment and took hesitant bites, even though you thought it was exceptionally made.
even the banquet hall itself was remarkable, banners of blue and gold hanging from the tall ceilings and plants of various kinds lining the walls. light shone down from the high windows, bathing the royals in front of you in a golden light.
“is the food not to your liking?” king stephen asked, a small frown gracing his features when he saw your father’s mostly full plate.
“this is amazing, like nothing i have ever tasted before,” you voiced, directing the attention to yourself. your own plate was nearly scraped clean, and you might have licked it to savor the flavors if you didn’t have your royal dignity to uphold.
your heart pounded in your chest from addressing the king so directly.
“good, i am glad,” stephen smiled warmly at you, quelling your nerves, and his smile reached his eyes in a way your father’s hadn’t for years. “i shall make sure to send your compliments to our main cook, he was worried that the meal would not suit our guests’ tastes.”
“minho worries too much,” christopher laughs, meeting eyes with his fiancée. the way he looks at her sends warmth up your spine, like you’re witnessing kindling sparkling into a burning flame. “his cooking is the best in the entire kingdom.”
it might have turned you off that he was boasting like that if it wasn’t about someone whose status was below his. a crowned prince, giving compliments like that to a palace worker? kitchen staff, at that? it was different, for sure.
the thought stuck with you for the rest of the night, even as your head hit your pillow at night. though you weren’t so naive to think that first impressions were indicative of their entire nature, it seems that the image of this royal family that your father painted for you might have been more skewed than you initially thought.
───•───•───✧𓆩⟡𓆪✧───•───•───
while your father spent the next day with king stephen and their advisors, beginning the process of drafting and scrapping and rewriting peace treaties that you knew would never come to fruition, you were left to your own devices. venturing out of your chambers where you were bound to run into strangers was unsettling, but you pushed the feeling aside as you got dressed.
your father no doubt assumed you were jumping right into spending time gaining felix’ trust, but you didn’t know how to approach the younger prince to fulfill your part of the deal. you didn’t even know how to find him, or who to ask for his whereabouts; the sheltered walls of your home did not provide many opportunities for you to practice talking to people.
the people here did not seem to have the same problem. wherever you turned, visiting nobles and palace staff sent you smiles, casual how are you’s and i hope you slept well’s handed out to you like spare change. it made your head spin, and the desire to retreat back into your chambers was strong.
you found your way outside instead, through an archway made of brown stone. the fresh air often helped you think.
your casual walk allowed you to take in details that you couldn’t when you first arrived. the trees and greenery surrounding the palace were things you did not get at home, the forever winter killing off any color you longed to see. crops and livestock were held miles from the palace, outside of the reach of your vision and the invisible leash your father had kept you on, but here they thrived under the midday sun. you had a horse that you called your own, but you were only allowed to use him to travel to nearby towns on the outskirts of the palace property, right outside of the strong walls that surrounded it. none of the villagers there spoke to you past cold formalities, no matter how hard you tried, so eventually you gave up, settling for spending your time inside the castle.
here you found that you simply had to step outside of the palace walls to feel the soft grass beneath your feet, to smell the earth under your nose, to drink in the vibrant pinks and purples of the flowers in the gardens. there were so many trees, tall and strong with no walls blocking your vision of the soft foliage. you found a quiet bench under a tree, leaves and twigs decorating it’s surface from disuse, and you decided to call it your own despite having no ownership of any part of these grounds.
no ownership yet, if your father had anything to do about it.
you sat there for hours, drinking in the scenery as the sun made it’s path across the clear sky. you had expected boredom to creep around the edges of your mind, but it never came. the tranquility was so addictive that you found yourself back there, on that same bench, the next morning. and the next, your feet carrying you there before you were even fully awake.
“penny for your thoughts?” a deep voice disrupts your peace on that third day as a slender body sits on the bench next to you, just close enough that the warmth of his body touches your skin. you’re equal parts relieved and distressed when you see that it’s felix, and you smile at him in greeting, hoping that it didn’t come out as a grimace. this time when you meet his eyes, you make an effort to not look away.
“i do not get to see things such as this at home,” you wave your hand towards the garden, towards the birds chirping and the gentle sound of a stream bubbling. “it is beautiful. serene, you know?”
you don’t know how to act around him, and you certainly didn’t expect him to approach you. your words came out awkward, sounding unpracticed and superficial, and you try and hold back a flush from taking over your face. you hoped it wasn’t outstandingly clear how uncomfortable you were in his presence. do better than that, your father’s voice rings in your head.
“i agree,” he turns away from you, drinking in the picture-perfect view in front of you. “i am very lucky to call this place my home. what is yours like?”
“gray,” you deadpan, and the responding laugh he grants you makes your heart skip. better.
“there must be something beautiful there, it cannot just be you, right?” he says, a playful smirk tugging his lips upwards.
“flattery will get you nowhere, my prince,” you shoot back, enjoying the moment of quick banter between the two of you before your words turned sober. “when my mother was alive, she would paint the hallways and the walls of our chambers with beautiful flowers and vines and clouds. the flowers were my favorite part, she painted them in such beautiful shades of purples and yellows. most of them have been painted over, but the ones in my chambers remain. those are my favorite part of the castle, the most beautiful things i have ever seen.”
“i would love to see it one day,” he says, adamant and genuine as he takes your hand in his to squeeze it once before letting it go.
“maybe you could visit?” you look up at him through your lashes, a fake gesture to toy with him that left you feeling staticky and wrong. it was a complete lie - you would never subject this beautiful boy to the somberness of your home, lest it dull his brightness. even though he might not have a home soon, you push away the thought.
“only if it means i can see more of you, and not having you hide away,” he says, pointedly, though his face shows no malice.
“it is overwhelming, for me,” you explain, embarrassed at having been caught. “to be surrounded by strangers.”
“yes,” his eyes are far away for a moment, his head deep in thought. “i understand.”
───•───•───✧𓆩⟡𓆪✧───•───•───
the next morning you had only just left your chambers, planning for another day exploring the greenery around the palace, when you spot felix leaning against the wall opposite of the door. he approaches you with a warm smile and takes your hand, his skin soft under your fingertips. how long had he been waiting there for you?
“my lady,” he bows his head, bringing the back of your hand to his lips to press a kiss there, as he had done when you first arrived. “would you care for a walk around the palace? it would be my honor to be your escort for the day.”
“if you ask so nicely,” you smile back, humor seeping into your voice naturally. “how can i refuse?”
“excellent,” his smile widens and he holds an arm out for you to take. “i’ll take you to meet my friends! that way, you will have friends here, too, instead of strangers.”
his friends, you thought, would be nobles and lords and other members of high class that you would have to make fake pleasantries with. while his gesture was sweet, you had no interest making relations with the elite members of this court, the ones whose lives you were planning on upending. the last thing you expected was for him to take you straight to the kitchens, down winding hallways and corridors, marked by the ever increasing aroma of delicious baked goods and mouthwatering herbs.
“minho!” felix exclaims, bouncing on his heels excitedly, catching the attention of a man who was frowning deeply at a pot bubbling over a fire. “this is y/n, i am taking her around the castle today. y/n, this is minho, the king of our kitchens, and a dear friend of mine.”
the way he introduced you, so casually, was perplexing; no one had ever spoken your name without princess or lady preceding it. even more so was his casual use of king when talking about someone of lower class, a term that should be solely reserved for his father.
“hello, my lady,” minho looks up, his lips turning up into a graceful smile, slightly crooked teeth peeking through his lips. his hair curls around his ears a bit, dainty jewelry adorning his lobes, and his features look almost sculpted in perfection. he’s absolutely beautiful.
“is everyone in your kingdom this pretty?” you blurt out, forgetting yourself, and minho barks into laughter. felix’s hand moves to lay on your arm, right at the crook of your elbow, and if it wasn’t for the amused smile on his face you may have thought you upset him.
“you are one to talk, my lady,” minho says, delight on his face that quickly morphs into exasperation as the pot he was monitoring earlier begins to bubble over.
“careful, min,” felix drawls out, his fingers curling further into your arm. almost possessively. interesting. “she is our guest, not someone for you to flirt with.”
“alright, your royal highness,” minho says distractedly, stirring vigorously. “now stop distracting me, unless you want raw meat and vegetables for dinner tonight.”
felix grins in response, shooting a wave at the cook before leading you to a door in the back of the kitchens. it follows outside to a set of fields you hadn’t laid eyes on before, a cobblestone path winding through it like a river.
“so, do you think i am pretty too?” he teases as he leads you down the path, towards a set of men - knights - sparring in the midday sun. “or is that reserved for minho?”
“well-” you laugh, startled at his boldness. “i will not lie, you certainly are beautiful. but do not let it get to your head.”
“well as you said, flattery gets you nowhere, my lady,” he laughs too, and the two of you break all composure as you lean into each other. it’s almost too easy to be casual with him, too natural to break the carefully taught formalities that were drilled into you. you thought it might be a challenge, or awkward at the minimum, to get close to the prince, but you’re finding it to be quite an enjoyable experience thus far.
as you approach the knights, sweaty and panting from the exertion of their practice, you point out two men stand out from the rest, wearing armor with the royal colors showing proudly rather than the simple silver of the other knights. they held themselves with grace, power exuding off of them almost effortlessly, and they spark your interest.
“changbin and jisung,” felix points them out. “chris’ most trusted knights, and our friends. i pray for you if you ever get into a poker match with those two, they’ll cheat you out of every coin in your purse, the rascals.”
his voice is fond as his words are teasing, a juxtaposition that fascinates you. you don’t think you can recall a time where someone has used an insult as a term of endearment as he had just done. you lock this away in the back of your mind to ponder on later as you take in the two knights in front of you. the shorter one is clearly fond of exercise, if the muscles that even his heavy armor can’t hide is any clue. his hair is as dark as a raven’s feathers, curling from sweat, and his face is kind. the one next to him is slimmer, but no less strong. his face is round, cheeks swelling from the gummy smile he’s wearing, and his eyes are so pretty.
“felix!” the more muscular one, changbin as felix had pointed out, beams at the man beside you. “care to join? your moves must be getting rusty with all the sitting around you royals do.”
felix sends a glare to changbin, no heat behind the gesture, and him and jisung laugh in response.
“i have company, you scoundrels,” felix complains, almost in a whine. “could you not just boast about my prowess on the battlefield? you had to make me look bad?”
“please, lix,” jisung teases before turning his attention to you. “he may not be the most powerful warrior, but he is quick. the most agile swordwork i have seen, probably. it is like he is dancing with his opponent.”
felix flushes, shy under the compliments of his knights, his friends.
“hyunjin and seungmin must be around here somewhere,” felix muses as he walks you down the corridor lined with knights, back inside and down a hallway you haven’t seen before. “this is where mine and chris’ chambers are. hyunjin is chris’s personal secretary, and seungmin is mine. though, i would consider him more of a menace than anything else.”
his voice is lined with fondness again, like the way he spoke about minho and changbin and jisung. it’s the same manner as how he talks about his father and his brother, his family. it was like they were all his kin, regardless of blood.
“you are on a first name basis with the staff here?” you ask after a lull of silence, curiosity winning over your hesitance. your own handmaidens did not address you by name, the women who were your closest companions since you were young girls. you had never even thought to grant them the privilege of doing so.
“we treat everyone with the same respect, regardless of status or bloodline,” he says, words sounding a little colder than usual.
“do not misunderstand,” you quickly correct, not wanting to offend him. because you want him to trust you, your mind supplies. not because you want him to like you. “i think it admirable. it is…different, to how things are in my kingdom. i am simply not used to it. i would prefer it this way, if i had the choice.”
it wasn’t a complete lie; you were searching for words that would win him your favor, but it surprised you how naturally they came to you.
“do you not?” he furrows his brow, looking at you in confusion. whatever iciness he had before had melted into befuddlement, like he genuinely didn’t understand. “have a choice, i mean.”
you don’t know how to tell him you don’t have many choices at all.
the silence takes over the both of you again, less comfortable than before, but he remains quiet as if he can sense the thoughts whirling inside of your head. it’s only when you reach the limits of the palace property that you’re thrown out of your mind, glancing at him with unspoken question.
“i thought we could take a stroll through the lower towns to end our day,” he explains, no signs of lingering animosity from your previous conversation. “it is my favorite place to go to get away from the palace once in a while.”
the lower towns, like most things in this kingdom, were not what you had expected. there were children playing in the streets, laughing and screaming while their parents watched on in exasperation. markets lined the cobblestones you walked on, selling vibrant fabrics and jewelry, freshly baked goods and crisp produce, and a variety of trinkets that overwhelmed you in the best way, patrons were striking bargains for products on every corner, trading goods for coin, a smile on each face you encountered.
it was a good distinction from the towns you were used to, where knights patrolled to ensure nothing was amiss. people there lived in fear, not in joy. everywhere you turned, people smiled at the prince beside you, and he would wave back or offer a small nod, ever polite. the few times you had managed to sneak into the lower towns to buy paints and canvas or trinkets as gifts for your handmaidens, you had gone in a thick cloak that covered your face lest you be recognized. here, walking around in your day dress, you felt almost naked.
a child runs up to felix and wraps his small arms around his legs, bouncing excitedly on his heels.
“prince lixie!” he squeals, and felix leans down to ruffle his hair, a large smile on his face. it might be the cutest thing you’ve ever seen. “is that a princess?”
it takes you a moment to realize that the child is asking about you. you don’t interact with children much, your father would never allow them to touch you like the boy is with felix.
“yes, she is,” felix whispers, like he’s sharing a secret. “a very beautiful princess. why don’t you say hello?”
“hello,” the boy turns shy, peeking his head out from behind felix’ leg. the child, you found, could be forgiven for his lack of decorum when addressing you. he had a lot to learn at his young age. “i am joshua.”
“hi, little one,” you say, a little awkward as felix’ eyes are trained on you. “i am y/n.”
you were at loss for words, but the few words you managed to give had the boy practically beaming at you in response. you watch as felix tells him to return to his friends, because you and him were on official palace business, and the boy nods sagely before scampering off.
“sorry about him,” he says once lucas is out of sight. “i have been visiting him in the village since he was very little. i have taken a liking to him, naughty as he is. he is the son of one of the merchants here, and he lost his mother years ago. i see myself in him.”
“he is precious,” you take his arm again as he continues down the path. “i always wanted to visit the children in the orphanages at home, but i-” you cut yourself off, a habit you’ve taken to since arriving here. i need to learn to think before speaking. “i have not gotten the chance.”
“the children here are lovely,” he says. “i like learning from them. they keep me humble, remind me that not everyone is born with such privilege.”
he says it so simply, as if it’s his right to question such things; a man born into royalty surely has no business spending time with lower-class children, learning from them. it is one thing to offer them a coin, something that the kingdom could clearly spare. but what could they possibly teach him that his well-respected tutors could not?
you didn’t bring it up, afraid that he would react the same way he had earlier, when you questioned his informality with his staff. afraid that maybe, he would react in anger, though you couldn’t quite imagine the perfect lines of his face twisted into anything but peace.
before the two of you leave, he stops at one of the many stands selling an array of sparking jewelry and scarves, and he asks you if you would like anything. you want to say yes, the handmade twists of metal and dyed fabrics captivating you, but you shyly shake your head.
you almost miss his forlorn expression when you refuse, turning away from the stand. it’s better this way, to not receive gifts from him. there will be nothing in your possession to remember him by, then.
───•───•───✧𓆩⟡𓆪✧───•───•───
as felix drops you off at your door in the evening, the day comes crashing down on you - he’s so kind. everyone here is, from the royal family to the staff and the people living in the villages outside the gates. throughout the entire day you spent with felix, you did not once think about why you were here, simply enjoying his company and learning about him, not the secrets you were tasked with uncovering.
it’s given you a lot to think about.
as he leaves, he runs a gentle hand down your arm from your shoulder to your wrist, squeezing gently before walking away. even his strides are made in lovely, even steps that makes him look other-worldly.
you lean against the doorframe, taking a deep breath to try and settle yourself, and it’s then that a flash of movement out of the corner of your eye captures your attention.
a servant is standing just down the hallway opposite from the one felix disappeared into, the same servant who had walked you to your chambers the very first day. the first person here who had smiled at you for no reason other than to be kind.
“hello,” you call out softly, beckoning him closer to you; you don’t know who looks more nervous out of the two of you as he approaches you with uncertain steps. “what is your name?”
“jeongin, my lady,” he almost whispers, hesitant, wide eyes trained on you.
“nice to meet you, jeongin,” your lips tug upwards. he’s adorable.
“we have met before,” he blurts out, smacking his hands over his mouth. “i am sorry, i spoke out of turn. i just meant…”
he trails off, looking down shyly.
“meant what, jeongin?” you ask, sure to keep your voice light and free of demand despite the curiosity starting to burn in you. what did he mean, you’ve met before? surely, he means within the palace earlier that week, right?
“i used to live in your kingdom,” he admits, his fingers playing with them hem of his tunic. “when i was younger. my mother was a servant in your castle.”
“really?” you gasp, understanding and puzzlement taking over simultaneously.
“yes, but i left when i was still young,” he explains. “i remember you, though. you were always kind. i admired you for that.”
“thank you, jeongin,” you manage to force out, knowing that you did not deserve his kind words, even as informal as they were given. he was wrong; you were just as wicked as the rest of the nobles in your court. perhaps you were simply better at hiding it.
───•───•───✧𓆩⟡𓆪✧───•───•───
your father pulls you into an empty corridor near your chambers the next day, his strength harsh enough to make you stumble over your feet.
“what have you learned,” he speaks in hushed tones, scared of being overheard. it’s more of a demand than a question, as if he simply expected you to have what he needs after such little time.
“i spent the entire day with him yesterday,” you start, choosing your words carefully, lest he discover that you’re actually enjoying yourself here. “he took me around the castle, and i have an idea of the layout, in the case that we need to make a hasty exit.”
“anything else?” he pushes, leaning further into your space.
“they are…unusually fond of their staff here,” you divulge, more reluctant to give up this information. “they might be of use.”
“good girl,” his smirk is like frost, and he reaches out to cup your cheek. a gesture that, to others, may have seemed paternal, protective. though his touch sends an unpleasant shiver up your spine, his words satisfy some sick satisfaction within you - the need for his approval was met.
“your mother would be proud.”
as he walks away, it makes you queasy how those words make you straighten up, proud. pleased. living in the echo of your mother’s footsteps for so long made you doubtful that you would ever be able to fill them, but maybe this was a start.
───•───•───✧𓆩⟡𓆪✧───•───•───
you see felix later, walking to the banquet hall with another boy dressed in simple clothes. they pause by the entrance, deep in conversation, and you duck behind a pillar, out of their sight. you’re just close enough to hear snippets of their conversation, when their voices raise from their hushed whispers. they must not want to be overheard, you realize, straining your ears harder. this was your chance to gather some kind useful information for your father.
you close your eyes and listen, picking up puzzle pieces of she’s sick and time off and you’ve almost completed the puzzle when it hits you - though any conversation they might have had was not meant for you to hear, this one in particular felt like a breach of privacy. not of felix’ but of the boy standing before him.
his secretary, seungmin, that he had spoken about the previous day. the boy who, as you had just learned, had a sick mother, and was requesting some time away to care for her. as you peek around the pillar, you see felix rest a hand on his shoulder, leaning close to the boy before pulling him in for a gentle hug.
he’s friends with his staff, and he touches them so casually? this didn’t fit. it fit nothing of the way you were brought up, formality and proprietary trained into you, and it fit nothing of the picture your father had painted of the royals that ruled over this kingdom. it seems that with every observation, instead of answers you were left with more and more questions.
“what are you doing?” a voice sounds from behind you, too close, and you nearly jump.
“what?” you breathe out, turning to see jeongin standing behind you, eyes wide.
“you were just standing there with your eyes closed,” he explains. “is everything okay?”
“my lady,” you correct, the words leaving your mouth as if it had a mind of its own. “is everything okay, my lady.”
“oh,” he says, twisting his bottom lip between his teeth. “apologies, my lady. there is no such need for formalities here, i had forgotten.”
“it is alright,” you assure, watching as he relaxes and lets out a breath.
“just, a word of advice?” he says, continuing before you could tell him that no, you didn’t want nor need his advice. “if you are going to be here for some time, you should try and adapt. not to overstep, my lady, you just might find yourself more comfortable if you relax a bit.”
he walks away with a smile, and you’re left alone to reflect on his words. he did overstep, but it does not mean he didn’t give you something useful. adapt, he had said, and perhaps he had a point. felix seemed to be more open with you when you were agreeable, when you didn’t question his strange impropriety.
maybe becoming one of them, even through a facade, was the key to unlocking whatever you needed to find.
he arrives at your door as the sun was setting, light knocks accompanied by a call of your name that you almost couldn’t hear. you call out softly for him to enter, a delighted smile taking over your face when you see what he has grasped in his hand, held out in offering.
a beautiful bouquet of flowers, wrapped in creamy tulle. the petals were a vibrant purple, highlighted by sharp yellows and soft whites towards their center. they were violas, your mother’s favorite flower.
you hadn’t seen one since she had passed. your father had forbade anyone from growing them on his lands.
“how did you know?” you gasp, smiling at him brightly as you take them from him. you move them closer to your face, and if you were alone you might bury your face into them, savoring their powdery sweet smell. “that these were my favorite flower?”
“you told me,” he says, ears turning pink under your attention. “that your mother painted your room in purple flowers. i just guessed, but from your reaction i hope i got it right?”
how had he remembered such a small detail that you had given him, when you knew little to nothing about him?
“oh, felix, they’re perfect. you remembered such a small thing?”
“there are a lot of things i wish to know about you,” he confesses.
“likewise,” you smile at him.
───•───•───✧𓆩⟡𓆪✧───•───•───
smoke, creeping through the gap between the floor and the wooden door, rising in curling pillars towards you. snaking around your neck, entering your throat and your nostrils, burning your lungs to ash. you scramble for the doorknob, but the moment your fingers hit it you’re snatching your hand back - it’s icy hot, unable to touch.
there is no escape.
the windows - covered by royal blue curtains, catch fire from below, and you throw them back. you need air, something to clear out your crumbling lungs, but when you look outside the city is on fire. red-hot flames lick up the side of the palace, trees turned barren and flowers burned to a crisp.
in the center you can see felix, flames surrounding him but not touching. he’s whispering something, and you cry out that you can’t hear him. speak louder, please, you beg. help me.
“this is your fault,” he speaks, his voice right in your ear, but when you turn towards it, it’s not felix next to you. it’s your father.
his hand slides around your waist, pulling you close to him, embracing you.
“good work,” he says, proud smile on his face as the both of you watch the city fall to the flames. “i knew you could do it.”
───•───•───✧𓆩⟡𓆪✧───•───•───
since the younger prince had taken you on a tour of the castle, you’ve seen him every day. sometimes he would greet you at breakfast, disappearing afterwards only for him to show up at your door later to ask you on a walk around the grounds. other times he would be waiting for you outside your chambers when you woke up with a basket of fresh pasties baked by minho for you to enjoy together, and he would watch in delight as you savored the flavors. on rarer days, you would only see him in passing while he was between duties, but he would stop to press a kiss to the back of your hand, every time.
you played along with him, accepting his flirting and responding in turn. it came instinctively, and you often forgot that you were meant to be luring him into a false companionship, not a real one. he was alluring, smart with a fragment of recklessness, soft with sharp edges, a perfect balance of everything.
as the days passed, he would get bolder. his touches lingered for longer, the searing heat of his hand pressing on your arm, your shoulder, on the small of your back. his kisses moved from your hands to your cheeks and your temples, to the crown of your head, and it left you aching for more. he didn’t hold back his compliments, reflecting not only on how beautiful he found you but also how thought you were clever, intelligent, good-natured. you never thought those things about yourself, but something in the way he said it made you think they were true.
in the times that you weren’t with felix, you spent time with jeongin. the boy was as sweet as he looked, the the more time you spent together, the more his shyness melted away to reveal sharp wit and an even sharper tongue. you found your own walls dropping around him too, his easy companionship making it difficult to remain closed off to him. he reminded you of the home of your childhood, the one that you missed fiercely, and you were grateful to have him by your side. he kept you humble, holding you accountable for the way you acted, even though a spark of fear remained within him any time he spoke his mind in that regard. you managed to hold back your annoyance at his remarks, and soon you found that it simply faded out of reach. you became fast friends, almost too quickly, evidenced by the way he would raise his eyebrows at you when he saw you with felix, like he could see right through you.
you were lucky that your attraction to the prince was all that he could see through. the weight of your impending betrayal was like a shackle on your ankle, following you wherever you went, impossible to truly forget about. while you had yet to learn anything about the royal family that could serve as a benefit to your father, you saw your relationship with felix as a betrayal in it’s own right. if you were better, you would leave him alone - you would leave this kingdom entirely, and refuse to play any part in their downfall. but you couldn’t physically stay away.
you couldn’t stop from filing away small bits of information that might serve to be useful, either. the prince’s brother’s favorite meal, in case the opportunity to poison him came along. his father’s daily schedule, told to you by felix freely when you had asked, your fingertip running down his arm from his shoulder to his wrist. the likely areas where secrets may have been hidden, restricted to you and glossed over by felix when he would walk with you around the castle. you hated it, categorizing this information into handy little parcels that you would deliver to your father.
a welcome distraction came in the form of the very thing you should be avoiding; on a few occasions, felix had christopher and his betrothed, roseanne, accompany the two of you on whatever excursion he had planned for that day.
a simple picnic in the garden, juicy fruits picked just that morning and fresh baked bread and crumbly cheeses to snack on while the four of you talked. conversation came easy with chris and roseanne, once you broke out of the too familiar anxiety that surrounded you when with new people. felix’s warmth from where he was settled next to you, allowing you to lean into him, helped more than you wanted to tell him. chris was so similar to his brother, sharing his kindness and his humor, though his jokes were cheesier than felix’ dry sarcasm. roseanne was lovely, someone who you could see as a close friend under different circumstances.
a on a visit to the lower towns, just as lively as it was the first time you went. it was then that you officially met hyunjin and seungmin, the prince’s assistants. the way they bickered with one another, and their royal counterparts, made you laugh so hard that your stomach ached with it. even they were striking, and it left you wondering whether one’s disposition on the inside reflected their beauty on the outside.
your friendly chatter continued into mealtimes, where the kings would join you, the very few times where you would get to see king stephen at all. he bantered with his children, asking them about their days and their plans for the next ones, acted like a father instead of a king with them. it sent a pang of longing through you - your father had been like that, before. you don’t think he remembered how to be a father, anymore.
as much as you loved the prince’s company, you hated the approving nods you would get from your father whenever he saw you and felix together. the acknowledgement that you craved for just weeks ago felt near futile now - he didn’t see that instead of making the prince fall for you, the opposite was taking place. he didn’t see the genuine connection between the two of you, the way you craved for him, the way nothing else seemed to matter when he was in front of you. he didn’t care about your heart, about how it would likely break beyond compare when he he was finished here. he didn’t care about you.
the you that was falling for felix. for his compassion, for his gentle nature, for his quick wit and effortless beauty. for the way he treated those around him, for the way he spoke to you like you were more than a pawn in a cruel game of chess. it made you sick to your stomach to think about what was to come, what you hopelessly wished you could avoid. you find yourself wishing, not for the first time, that you and your father were truly here seeking peace. that you could imagine a future here without guilt gnawing at your chest.
the closer you grow to felix, the stronger the gnawing feeling in your stomach becomes. but you can’t stay away from him, even if you tried; the sparking light in his eyes drew you in and you were helpless to his magnetic pull. the way he would beckon you over with his hand, palm facing upright as if waiting to join with your own, left you no choice but to go to him. you knew you were selfish, spending time with him out of your own desires while doing nothing to warn him of what was to come and making no actions to follow through with your father’s wishes. you knew your time here, living in peace, was running short, the last dribbles of sand slipping down an hourglass.
and yet, when he finally pulled you into an empty alcove and held you close so that he could press his lips gently to yours, you let him. you responded in kind, moving together with him like some kind of dance.
when he invited you into his chambers and into his bed, you didn’t say no. even then, when he gave you all of himself, you took it.
───•───•───✧𓆩⟡𓆪✧───•───•───
fire, this time contained in a ring of wooden slats, smoke curling up into the night sky. felix, by your side, you tucked into his side while the two of you claim it’s warmth for your own.
“why?” felix says, running a hand up and down your arm. you hum, snuggling further into him when a breeze makes it way to you through the trees surrounding you.
“why what?” you ask, voice syrupy sweet.
“why did you do it?” he turns towards you, the flames still visible in his eyes. he glances over your shoulder pointedly before turning back to the campfire, pulling you into him again. you look behind you, and a firestorm meets your vision. you can barely make out the outline of the beautiful palace through the inferno, but a figure stands out in the center of it. you move closer, the heat threatening to scorch your skin, to see your father strapped to stake. burning. dying.
you turn back towards felix, question dying on your lips when he’s not there. a sick feeling enters your stomach as your gaze returns to the fire, and where your father was is felix in his place.
you let out a horrid scream.
───•───•───✧𓆩⟡𓆪✧───•───•───
waking up to the sight of felix, blonde hair illuminated by the morning light like a halo around his head, was something you think you could never get used to. even if you were allowed this under better circumstances, if the two of you had fallen together after meeting at a ball or a diplomatic meeting, his beauty was something that you truly could not comprehend.
you have half a mind to scold both him and yourself for breaking proprietary, for falling into bed with one another out of wedlock, as parts of two separate kingdoms that have yet to establish ties. you don’t, though; you were as much at fault as he was, and you had enjoyed it too much to ruin it for either of you. you do not acknowledge the guilt that was creeping up inside of you from your dishonesty, or the remainder of fear that lingered from your dream. looking at felix while he slept seemed like a much better way to spend your time.
he is equal parts pretty and cute when he mumbles, smacking his lips together as his eyelids flutter, holding onto the last pieces of sleep he can. when his brown eyes peek through his eyelashes and land on you, you can see the smile in his gaze.
“morning,” his deep voice rumbles, and he pulls you close to him by the waist. you land almost on top of him, his movement making you lose your balance from where you were perched on your elbow watching him, and you both let out breathless laughter at your undignified flailing. you settle against him, his chest pillowing your head while you trace senseless patterns into whatever patches of skin you can find.
you can still feel the phantom touches that he had imprinted on you the night before, as he held you more gently than anyone ever had. you can feel the silky smooth strands of his hair under your fingers, the ghost of his breath panting against your neck. you can hear the sweet sounds you pulled out of him over and over.
“penny for your thoughts?” he asks, just as he did when he met you in the gardens the very first time.
“mm,” you sound, not wanting to break the peaceful silence the two of you were basking in. “just thinking about my mother.”
“oh,” his face drops in sadness. not in pity, but in compassion. in empathy, for of all people he would understand; he lost his mother, too. “can i ask how she passed?”
a refusal is at the tip of your tongue, as it is when anyone asks about your mother, but it fizzles out when you look at him. you found yourself wanting to talk about this with him.
“she was sick,” you start, early memories of your childhood filtering into your head. “since i can remember, she was sick. it took over her body slowly, it took years for her to succumb to being bedridden. she would paint for hours and hours, back then, until she collapsed. but then, it took over her mind too. that was the worst part, her forgetting who my father was, who i was, forgetting who she was. when she passed, it was almost a relief, i could not stand to see her in that state of pain anymore. i was twelve, when it happened.”
“i am sorry,” his voice is deep, thick with sadness. “that sounds like something a child should never have to go through.”
“what about…” you trail off, not wanting to make it sound like the two of you were trading secrets like giggling children.
“she was murdered by bandits, in the lower towns, just a few years ago,” he answered your unfinished question. “she went further than she was supposed to go from the castle grounds, and she always refused to bring knights with her. my father blames himself, and i blamed him for a long time too. but it was not his fault.”
“i am sorry, too,” you place your hand on his cheek, hoping the weight of your caress would surpass the lack of words you offered him.
“as strange as it is to say, i-” he cuts off for a second, letting out a strangled laugh that didn’t reach his eyes. “i am glad that you understand. it is hard telling these things to people that have not experienced that kind of pain.”
you don’t think it’s strange at all. it settles something within you, the part of you that had felt so alone for years. for all of his charms, it was this display of raw honesty that transformed what you had thought to be superficial attraction into something more, something deeper.
“i feel the same,” you close your eyes, trying to tamper the nausea that arose at those words. you’re going to take his father from him too, your back-stabbing mind informs you. and his brother, you don’t deserve his comfort.
───•───•───✧𓆩⟡𓆪✧───•───•───
your father calls for you that morning, sending a note to your chambers. you only see it when you finally get out of felix’ bed and make it to your own to freshen up, a smile present on your face that you can’t help.
every step you take towards your father’s chambers feels more and more like you’re signing your death wish, and the sound of his door opening several moments after you knock on it sounds like cannon-fire in your head.
“you asked for me?” you move closer to the desk where he had sat, and from your position you could see messy piles of paper with words that had been angrily scrawled on them.
“i have asked you for many things,” he starts, voice dripping with condescension. “but it is good to see that you can manage to follow simple orders.”
his passive aggression makes your blood boil; after weeks of being treated so kindly by your hosts, your patience was wearing thin in the face of your father.
“i am trying to earn their trust fully,” you try to reason. “it is taking longer than expected.”
“and sharing a bed with him is not enough? whoring yourself out to them has not given you the opportunity to find out what you need?” his words were almost enough to make your skin catch fire. how did he possibly know what you and felix had done? “complete what i have asked of you, now. the faster we finish this, the quicker we can leave this horrid place.”
leave this place, and go back to what? an empty castle where you are disrespected, forgotten, ignored? a place with no life, no joy, no laughter? you weren’t sure what you wanted anymore, but you were certain that going back was not a favorable outcome.
“i’m not a servant that you can bark orders to,” you bit out, regretting it almost instantly when he stood up so fast that his chair fell to the floor behind him.
“watch your mouth,” he growls, stalking towards you, and you take a few steps back from him. “it seems that the only thing you’ve learned from the insolent brats here is how to be weak. how to disrespect your king, the one who has clothed you and fed you since you were born.”
your king, he said. not your father.
he grabs you by the neck and pushes you back, back, back until you’re up against the door, his grip strong enough that you knew would leave behind a ring of bruises. you wish you could deem this unfamiliar, but the sensation of feeling pain caused by his hands was not uncommon.
“i am growing tired of your excuses. you think they care about you? they would kill you in an instant if they knew what you have been hiding.” he moves closer, until his face is inches from yours and you cannot look anywhere but at him. “if you know what is good for you, you will stop this insolence and do as i say.”
when he removes his grip from you, your knees give out, and you brace yourself against the doorframe to keep from falling. he returns to his desk, not sparing you a glance as you leave his chambers and close the door behind you.
you don’t notice the frightened frame that had been standing outside the door through the tears clouding your vision.
───•───•───✧𓆩⟡𓆪✧───•───•───
you’re sitting at the fireplace in your chambers when you hear your door open, jeongin slipping in and closing it quietly behind him. he settles himself next to you, taking in your haggard appearance.
“your father is not here to make peace, is he?” he asks, his voice quiet and free of judgment. like he was confirming what he was already known to be true, not making an accusation.
“no,” you answer simply, too exhausted to try and lie to him. your friend. maybe the first real one you’ve ever had.
“you are helping him.” he says, letting a crumb of distress loose into his voice.
“yes.”
“you have come here under the illest of intentions, gained our trust,” he starts, calm. quiet.
“i know,” you sigh.
“you are going to hurt a lot of people.“
“i know.”
“you are going to do it, even though you do not want to.”
“i know, jeongin!” you snap, feeling guilty when he jumps a little.
“it’s just,” he’s playing with his fingers, a tell of his nerves. “i remember what it was like, at home. before, and then after. when things changed, when people became meaner. more cold, and closed off. that is why we left, and came here. don not make us go through that again.”
“i am sorry,” you whisper, a heavy, uncomfortable feeling settling in your stomach at his words. all you can offer him is an empty apology, useless as it is.
“i had hoped that you would be different. that you would stay true to who you were, or who i thought you to be.” he’s looking into the fire, not blinking as if mesmerized. as if he’s trying to dissociate from this moment in a way you wish you could. “when i saw you here, you still had it. that light, from before.”
“i do not want to do it, innie,” you choke out, echoing his words while your eyes burned. “i do not know what to do. i never wanted this, i hate it.”
“i know,” he says. “i can see it. in everything you do, your hesitation, the way you hold yourself back. but you do not understand.”
“understand what?” you’re exhausted, you don’t have it in yourself to be frustrated at him.
“that you have a choice,” he says, as if it was a simple thing. “that you can choose to end this, choose to do what you know is right.”
“i am scared,” you wobble out.
“being scared is good,” he finally breaks away from the fire, but the light in his eyes burns just as bright when he looks at you. “it makes you genuine. that is what makes you different from him. but you do not have to let that stop you.”
“i do not know how,” you whisper, voice barely carrying over to him.
“figure it out,” he says, just as quiet. “or i will do something, that you will not like. i will not let you harm my friends, no matter who you are.”
he leaves you then, slipping out of the chambers as quietly as he had come in, leaving you to your thoughts and what felt like a never ending stream of silent tears flowing from your eyes.
the next morning, you hand jeongin a note to give to hyunjin for christopher.
───•───•───✧𓆩⟡𓆪✧───•───•───
the sun had been set for hours when you wrap a scarf around your neck to hind the greenish blue splotches forming around your neck and secure the buckles on your boots. you hadn’t seen felix all day, but you knew that if he asked you to spend the night with him that you wouldn’t be able to follow through with what you were about to to.
your cloak shrouds your face from anyone who might be awake as you quickly make your way through the gardens, to the bench that you often inhabited. christopher is already waiting there for you, a grim look on his face.
“why did you ask me here, my lady?” he asks, clearly confused.
“please, i need you to listen to me,” your voice is hushed, like you’re scared of anyone hearing despite the hour of day and the concealed location you had chosen.”i am going to tell you things that you will not like, but i need you to listen until the end.”
“are you alright?” he looks concerned at how desperate you sound, but you shake your head. now isn’t the time for him to worry about you.
you tell him everything. the things your father had said about his family, the plan he had concocted before even stepping foot in this kingdom, the way his demands have been increasing from your lack of progress. the way you had changed as a result of being around the people here, that you didn’t wish to play in your father’s game any longer. you watch as his face morphs from surprise to anger to betrayal and back again, a cycle of emotions that might be comical under any other circumstance.
there were many ways you could have done this; telling the king for one, but this would open the chance of him ending your life along with your father. trying again to reason with your him, making it clear that you weren’t going to comply with his demands, but you could never see him compromising his mission. there was one single thing that you had thought of that had a chance of succeeding, with your head still attached to your body.
you end your speech with a demand, simple as it is, and that’s when he shows disbelief.
“you want me to kill your father?” he asks, incredulous.
“i may have loved him once,” you admit, voice thick with emotion. “but not anymore. he is not my father anymore, he is a tyrant. there is not a single soul in the kingdoms that would benefit from him being alive.”
“how do i know i can trust you?” he raises a cool brow, indifference masking whatever he was truly feeling underneath. “what if this is part of your plot?”
“you do not have time to consider my legitimacy!” you cry out, desperate. “i have tried to delay him, to think of some way out of this. he is getting angrier by the day and i fear that he will do something without thinking, something bad, and soon.”
“why not just leave then?” he asks, as if giving you a test. for all it was worth, it was a test that you wanted to pass. “why go through all of this when you could just get out, save yourself?”
“that would not be fair to my people, to leave them with him,” your words come out more passionate than you expected them to. “they deserve better than that. and it would not be fair to you, either. you have shown me more compassion than anyone has since my mother was alive. i will not repay that kindness by leaving like a coward.”
“has he hurt you?” the question catches you off guard, as does the concern filtering through his gaze. you bite your tongue; you want to answer, tell him yes, but that tiny, frightened version of you inside stops the words from coming out. you want to pull down your scarf, show him visible proof of the way your father treats you, but your hands feel like lead. he takes your silence as a confirmation though, nodding and cursing under his breath.
“i will not kill him,” he says, and you open your mouth to beg, plead for him to listen, but he holds a hand out as he continues. “but i will keep my guard up. i will not take this lightly; my father’s life is in danger, and i will take every precaution while i gain information.”
you sigh through your nose, defeat making your body sag into the bench. this was your last chance; chris may as well have just sealed all of your fates.
“please understand,” he says, weary. “i cannot go to my father with accusations when i have no proof. i believe you, i just need evidence before i can act.”
“please, just,” you say as you stand, not wanting to ask him for another impossible task he might refuse. “do not tell felix? i cannot have him getting caught up in this. i do not want him hurt.”
“you care about him.” he states, as if he is already sure of your answer.
“more than i thought possible,” you answer, and it is the truth.
“i cannot promise you that i will keep him in the dark. he is my brother,” he frowns. “we do not keep secrets from one another.”
“please,” it’s all you can say before you walk away, pulling your hood back over your face. you can only hope that he will listen to your plea. if not for your sake, but for felix’.
───•───•───✧𓆩⟡𓆪✧───•───•───
you should go to your own chambers, should stay away from felix until things were figured out, done and over. but your feet take you to his door instead of your own, and you’re inside his chambers before you can second-guess your stupid decision. you can tell he’s awake by his breathing, irregular and short, and it both pains and excites you that you are allowed to know things about him in that capacity.
“hi,” you keep your voice low, almost a purr as you climb into the bed and throw an arm around his curled up form. his nose scrunches and he wriggles a little bit, almost dislodging you, but you keep your grip strong. you don’t know when you will get this again.
“you smell like outside,” he complains, his body going lax. “where were you? i missed you.”
“just checking on some things,” you mumble into his skin, your lips finding home on the back of his neck. “i am all yours now.”
“do you not have people to check on things for you?” he asks, opening his eyes finally and turning his head towards you. you’re glad for the lack of light that keeps him from really seeing you. seeing the stress pinching your brows together, and the guilty frown that you can’t get rid of. “i have told you, my staff are there at your disposal. for whatever you need.”
“why trust others to do things i can do myself?” you quip back, the guilt of not telling him eating at you. you bury your face into his neck, hiding yourself, and the hand he tangles into your hair soothes you a bit. you feel tears welling up against your will and you let a shaky breath out into his honeyed skin.
“are you alright?” he tries to move your head up to look at you, but you refuse, shaking your head.
“i just really care about you, you know that right?” you admit, the last words you spoke to chris echoing in your head. “i didn’t expect to ever care about someone this much.”
“i care about you too,” confusion laces his words, and he runs a hand up and down your back. “are you sure you are alright?”
“i will be.”
so will he. you would make sure of it, somehow.
───•───•───✧𓆩⟡𓆪✧───•───•───
felix is out of bed by the time you awaken the next morning, but it isn’t something unusual to wake up to cold sheets next to you. he is a prince, after all, and he can’t spend all hours of his day with you. if anything it’s better that he’s gone today; it will help you keep the distance that you failed to keep the night before.
you’re slow as you dress, the decision you made before you succumbed to sleep weighing heavily on your shoulders; you were going to speak to your father, for a final time. you were not going to give him a choice, you were going to rob him of the basic right that you he so often deprived you of. you were going to make him listen to you, for once.
but when you enter his chambers, he is absent from them. you try and dampen the dread creeping up your throat; surely, he wouldn’t act now? only a couple of days after you last spoke?
you approach his desk, looking for any sort of clue that might lead to his whereabouts, but what you find is worse than you’d imagined. pages upon pages of plans, detailed imagery of how he wanted to kill the king and his sons, how he wanted to enslave the people here, how he would take the resources here and let the land rot and decay, all scribbled down in near nonsensical sentences.
stupid man, leaving these out for anyone to see. you swipe them off the table, folding them neatly and tucking them into the bodice of your dress where no one would find them, just as your father enters the chambers. your hand flies to your chest, covering up what you had just done, but your father must think it an act of surprise from his lack of acknowledgement.
“what are you doing here?” he asks, eyes narrowed on you. you hold your head up even when you want to cower before him.
“the crowned prince knows of your betrayal,” you inform, watching as his eyes filled with anger. no fear, as you had expected.
“how,” he growls, making quick steps towards you and taking both of your arms in a harsh grip. his rings dig into your flesh,
“i told him,” you say, surprised when the words come out clean and leveled and your head stays up high. “i will not help you any longer. the king will know soon, and you will be thrown in prison.”
it was an empty threat; you knew the king was still unaware of what was going on.
“you would trade me for these people you barely know? the same people who killed your moth- your grandfather?” and it clicks into place. he made a mistake, he misspoke, and it showed the last of his cards that he had kept so carefully hidden from you. it’s clear now: he’s gone mad, searching for some kind of revenge, even if it is on the wrong people. he’s locked himself into some grief-fueled conspiracy, and you realize now that he’s truly lost to you. that he had been lost, for years now.
“you are not fit to rule over anything,” you snarl. “you are not fit to be a father, you are not fit to do anything more than sit here and place blame on everyone but yourself!”
he doesn’t react for several moments, searching your face for something, before letting out a bark of laughter, eyes wild.
“you ungrateful, insolent, stupid girl,” he shakes you with every word, and your teeth rattle. “you think you can threaten me?”
he raises a hand and the back of it strikes you across the cheek, metal catching on the delicate bone there. you fall to the ground, the force of it knocking you off balance, and when you raise a shaking hand to your burning skin it comes back flecked with blood.
“get out of my sight,” he spits at you, stepping around your form as if you were a mere pest before him. “this changes nothing. your threats mean nothing, but heed mine. if you ever step foot in front of me again, i will have you hanged. from now on, you are not my daughter. you are nothing.”
───•───•───✧𓆩⟡𓆪✧───•───•───
the walk to your chambers feels longer than usual despite your hurried steps, and you can’t shake the feeling that something unfortunate was going to happen, soon. what did your father mean when he said that your warning changed nothing? did he not believe you?
you don’t dwell on his clear descent to madness for long; you curse yourself for not seeing the blatant signs of it earlier, his obsession and his misplaced fury, but you know that there are more pressing issues that need your attention.
perhaps a further look at his aimless scribbling would give you some answers. either way, it was the proof you needed, the evidence chris claimed was necessary to have before approaching king stephen with your claims. you knew needed to act, and soon.
when you find felix already in your chambers, his presence is enough to qualm the hurricane raging under your skin. it comes back full force, though, when you look at him and he’s angry.
“when were you going to tell me,” he starts, voice ice cold like you’ve never heard it before. it terrified you. “that you were planning to kill my family?”
“what?” you gasp out, every nerve in your body freezing to stone. any urgency you were feeling regarding your father is wiped out, replaced with cold trepidation. chris told him.
“you came here to kill my father, to kill my brother and his love and to, to use me,” he grits out, voice trembling, and you can’t stand it.
“no, i-” you choke out, the words escaping you. you wanted to tell him everything, wanted to show him what you had found and bring the evidence to his father together, but you can’t get it out. “maybe at first, but no, not anymore-”
“not anymore?” he cries out, incredulous. “how can i trust anything you say to me? you’ve been lying to me since you got here, lying about everything, lying about caring for me-”
“no, felix, i love you,” the confession rips out of you and the timing couldn’t be worse. you wanted to tell him after, when things were not in the uncertain state they were in now. you wanted to give him the confession he deserved, something worthy of the man that he was. he shakes his head at your words, crystal tears forming in his eyes.
“you do not get to say that to me,” he bites out. “i do not even know who you are, you have been lying to me from the beginning, playing with me, you do not get to say that.”
“i did not want to,” you almost wail, the feeling in your knees giving out as you fall to his feet. the emotions that you haven’t been letting yourself feel were pouring out of you. “i did not want to, but he would have killed me, or married me off to some brute to get rid of me and i had no idea what to do.”
you want to shout, look at what he did to me, look at the evidence of what he would do to me, but you can’t.
“stop. stop talking.” he drags you to your feet by the arm, grip harsh like he would rather do anything than be touching you right now. “get out of my chambers. i want you and your father out of my home, and if you do not leave i swear to the gods i will tell my father to have you hanged.”
you stumble towards his door, turning back to throw one last pleading glance at him, and you regret it as his next words cut you right to the core.
“they warned me about you, did you know that?” he’s no longer speaking out anger, but rather cold indifference. it’s worse, somehow. you wanted to ask who they were, but in the moment it truly didn’t matter. “they told me about your family, how vile you all are. how you would poison us from the inside. but when i laid eyes on you, i did not believe them. i know now, that i should have.”
your body remains frozen long after he leaves, and you don’t realize that your body has moved to your bed until jeongin peeks his head into the door.
“innie,” you choke out from where you’re laying over the covers. he rushes to your side, and his face falls when he sees the tears leaking from your eyes.
“what happened?” he pushes your hair out of your face with the tips of his fingers, so gentle that you can’t help but let out a sob.
“felix,” you stutter out. “he hates me- he wants me gone. and i don’t blame him, i hate me, but innie, it hurts.”
you let jeongin pull you into his arms, tears leaking into his shirt, and even then your traitorous heart wishes it was felix holding you like this. the last thing you remember before sleep clouds your mind is jeongin whispering i’m sorry into your hair.
───•───•───✧𓆩⟡𓆪✧───•───•───
fire, but this time it surrounds you. not burning, but encasing you in warmth, covering your body completely. it spreads, catching onto the surfaces around you.
it’s threatening to combust, taking you with it. you didn’t know what do to. flee? protect, your mind demands. so you run, past door after door, passing by people who beckon you inside. you can’t, you need to leave.
chris, asking you to come inside. minho, calling you in for a meal, fresh and fragrant. jeongin, asking you to join him, telling you he’s worried about you.
felix, standing still as stone on his balcony. your father behind him, eyes dark as they narrow in on the prince. no.
you rush to them, gliding past felix, your flame sliding off his skin like water. you push your father away, your momentum carrying the both of you forward as the flames catch on his frame.
falling, falling, falling, off the balcony towards an endless pit of darkness. you look up and felix is watching, beautiful face twisted in anguish as he watches the two of you plummet.
───•───•───✧𓆩⟡𓆪✧───•───•───
you didn’t leave. despite felix’ warnings, you didn’t make any moves to flee the castle. you needed to see this through, needed to ensure that the people here were safe; the only way you would leave this palace is in the absence of your father’s company. if you were going to die, you would rather it be by stephen’s hands than by his.
you almost don’t leave your chambers, terror paralyzing you as you sit on your bed, waiting nervously for something to happen. whether it be news from christopher about his efforts or a group of knights ready to take you to the dungeons, your body itched for some action. you don’t leave for breakfast, and you don’t let jeongin in when he quietly brings you a meal and leaves it at your door. you pick at it, watching the morning sun rise into the sky and wishing you had a jug of wine to drown yourself in.
by midday, you had made up your mind; you were going to enter the king’s chambers, deliver him the information you had, and sneak away from the palace at night. where you would go, you did not know, but you knew that you were not welcome in either court anymore. you had ostracized yourself from your home and from the group of people here that you hoped to one day call your family.
you had no one. and it was your own doing.
you push away the thought as you hurry through the familiar halls, stopping at one of the only doors you had yet to enter. the king wasn’t in his chambers, you discovered, when you spent several minutes knocking on the door to no avail. the council chambers were empty as well, and you felt your heart speed up as you raced through the halls, avoiding any person you saw. your boots clicked on the stone as you hastily entered and exited chambers and hallways, searching desperately for the king, hoping he was here somewhere.
you find them in the banquet hall, a smile on stephen’s face as he signs a long document with a feathered quill. you’re not close enough to see what it is from you’re standing behind a column at the entrance to the hall, hiding your presence from them. your father moves to stand next to the king when he finishes, leaning in close as he takes the quill from him, and he raises his hand behind the king’s back. in his hand, sunlight glints off of a piece of metal in his hand - a knife,
you look around desperately for a knight to alert, but you find none. why are there no knights here? your stomach lodges itself into your throat as you stare at the two kings, frozen as your father readies the knife, poised to strike stephen right in the center of his back -
“no!” you cry, breaking away from the spot you were glued to as you run faster than thought was possible have towards them. your father turns towards your voice in shock, the knife slicing through the king’s side in a clean movement, and the king falls.
“what are you doing?” your father snarls, the man by his feet forgotten as his attention turns to you. you spare stephen a glance, meeting his wide eyes, and you hope he can see the apology in yours. your father’s forward movement moves your attention to him, and you see him stalking towards you with his knife poised. “i am growing tired of your foolishness, you wretched girl.”
“if you want to kill someone, kill me. not him,” you plead, backing away from him. “he did not kill her, you know that. this, this delusion you are living under, it needs to stop!”
“do not speak of her to me,” you can see his anger rising, redness traveling up his neck. “you are a poor excuse of a woman compared to her. you know nothing. everything i have done, i have done for her, and i will kill you and the rest of them if i need to.”
you’ve heard your father recount his killing of countless adversaries, spoken in cold tones with no regret, but to see him with his weapon raised at you is something you had never imagined in all of your days. it was a truly terrifying sight.
he backs you into the same column you had been hiding behind earlier, a mirror image of the way he had cornered you in his bedchambers days ago. his free hand circles your neck, covering the bruises that he had left behind then, and your hands fly to his wrist.
“this will never free you,” you choke out, tears brimming in your eyes that make your vision blurry. this way, when you look at him, his features are so unfocused that he almost looks like he used to, when he was sane. kind. “do you not understand? this will not bring her back. you will be truly alone.”
“better to be alone than living with you as a reminder of what i have lost,” he says softly, the sharp blade of the knife pressed to your side, stinging as it nicks your skin.
you close your eyes, resigned to your fate. this was how it was going to end, no matter what. you, suffering from the result of his hands, his jolted mind. you, a mere ghost of your mother, biding your time in this world until he decided that you had none left. living a life that would never truly be your own.
no.
your eyes fly open and meet his and he hesitates, the knife pulling back the smallest bit. you take the chance, your hand moves from one of his wrists to the other and you twist, taking in a sharp breath when he gasps and lets the knife clatter to the floor. he lets go of your neck and you drop, grabbing the handle of the knife with a shaky hand and slashing upwards, hoping that it would land somewhere.
he drops to the floor with a howl of pain, clutching at his thigh, and in the next moment you’re on top of him, pinning him to the floor with a knee to his stomach. the knife is still in your hand, unmoving from how strongly your fingers were grasped around the handle. it would be so easy to plunge it into his chest, so simple. you would finally be free.
you barely register when several knights finally barge into the hall, swords pointed at the two of you. your focus was purely on the man under you, at the madness swimming in his eyes and the ugly curl of his mouth shaped in scowl.
“you will not do it. you are weak,” he wheezes out, confident even as he struggles to speak from your weight on him.
you raise the knife.
a moment of tense silence.
and felix calls out your name. the only voice that could break you away from the trance you were in. his lovely voice, shaped in your name.
when you meet his eyes you drop the knife, and you’re pushed away from your father when by knights who move to secure him in shackles. you stand on wobbly feet, taking in the hall - felix, hovering by your side, hands raised as if he wanted to touch you but couldn’t. chris, standing by his father’s side, supporting him as he rises from the floor. blood drips down his side, but not an alarming amount. he would be fine. your own father, cursing angrily at the guards who were keeping him restrained, his words passing through you with no recognition.
you’re sure you looked horrible, in this moment. hair a mess, chest still heaving, clothes torn. you didn’t belong here. you drop your father’s papers that you kept hidden in your clothing to the ground, watching them flutter before settling, face up for all to see.
“i will leave at first light,” is the last thing you say before leaving the king, the princes, and your father behind you.
───•───•───✧𓆩⟡𓆪✧───•───•───
you didn’t look at your own reflection until the next morning. your face was a horrible painting of blues and blacks, and the bruises on your neck are fading into green, though you’re sure more were forming underneath them.
you look horrible.
you didn’t come with many things, and most of them were unnecessary for where you were about to go; traveling into the woods didn’t require fancy dresses and jewelry, so as you packed your bag you left them behind.
the last thing you expected was for felix to push the door to your chambers open, a noisier affair than you were used to from the way the door banged against the wall.
“you are still here,” he breathes out, panting a bit like he ran here. he eyes the bag you were holding warily.
“i am,” you answer, fear seeping into your veins as he moves closer to you. not of him, never of him, but of the power he held over you. of the way his words could break your heart into more fractures than it already was in.
“your father is in line for execution, at midday,” he informs, placing a hand on top of yours when he reaches you, his warm skin stinging the ice-cold skin of your own.
“good,” it’s the only thing you can think to say. the only reaction you can muster from learning that your father was about to die, like you had wished him to.
“chris told me what you asked him to do,” he says, voice low. “i did not stay long enough to hear the whole story, when he told me the other day. i came to you in anger, and i did not listen to you either. i am sorry.”
his voice wobbles in sorrow, and it breaks your heart.
“no, do not be,” you whisper, flipping your hand around so you could tangle your fingers with his. you wanted to feel him like this, at least one more time. “i should have been honest with you. when i chose to go against him, when i chose you, i should have told you.”
“you were scared,” he strokes the back of your hand with his thumb. “of him. and of us, i presume. i cannot fault you for that.”
“i was scared, but-” you cut yourself off, trying to find the right words. he waits for you patiently, eyes trained on your features. “since my mother died, my life has not been my own. i have not been allowed to make my own decisions, i don’t know how to…do this. that is no one’s fault but my own.”
“this?” he asks, velvet soft as he seeks for clarification.
“to be honest about things. to trust people with what’s going on. to…not be scared of people’s reactions,” even this show of candor was sending your heart into a frenzied pace. “i do not know how.”
“then let me teach you,” you can hear the tears in his voice but you don’t look up to meet them. you didn’t think you could handle it. selfish. “please. i do not know what you are planning to do - after, but please do not leave.”
“felix, i have never felt more free than i have here, in this kingdom, with your people. with your family,” you squeeze your fingers around his hand, the only thing you could bring yourself to do. “with you. you have already taught me so much. how do i continue to take and take from you like this?”
“you do not owe me anything,” he vows, bowing his head a bit. “anything i give to you, i give gladly. i act without thinking and i make rash decisions, too. do not think that i am not learning from you in turn. if it were not for jeongin finding me and explaining things to me yesterday, i would have done something horrid. i could have lost you, do you understand? you and i, we are not so different.”
jeongin. once this was all over, you were going to award that boy a house. or a village. whatever he wanted.
“did he do this to you?” he says when you don’t answer, raising one hand to the bruising around your neck and another to your cheek, feather-light fingertips tracing along the lines. “did he hurt you?”
“yes,” you breathe out, admitting for the first time to someone other than yourself what kind of man your father truly is. letting yourself accept that maybe, it was not your fault. that maybe, you deserved something better.
you stayed.
───•───•───✧𓆩⟡𓆪✧───•───•───
chris meets the two of you outside your chambers hours later, looking more exhausted than you’ve seen him before. he takes in your linked hands with a smile.
“felix told you?” he asks, gentle. you nod, leaning into felix. “i am sorry, that i did not do more. that it came to that.”
“do not apologize,” you say, resolute. “if anyone should be sorry, it is me. for putting you all through this.”
“if anyone needs to apologize, it is your father,” felix swears, his grip on your hand tightening. “if he was not already on his way, i would kill him myself for hurting you.”
you squeeze his hand back, hoping the gesture would bring him some comfort. violence was not a color that you think shaded felix often, but you couldn’t deny that his protectiveness was attractive.
it is chris’ duty to oversee the affair, but you cannot bring yourself to accompany him. the thought of seeing your father again, restrained and awaiting death, was not something that you wished to experience.
felix stays with you, guiding you through the halls and into his bed, holding you tight the entire time. his presence by your side is overrides the myriad of negative emotions inside of you and for once, your mind is quiet, failing to remind you that you needing felix in this moment was self-serving. it’s as if the thoughts were dying along with your last-living relative.
you wished that you felt happy, relieved to be released from him. or even sorrow, full of grief for your lost father. but you felt nothing.
───•───•───✧𓆩⟡𓆪✧───•───•───
chris enters felix’ chambers at dusk, waking you and felix from the sleep that neither of you intended to fall into.
“my father wishes to see you,” he addresses to you, waiting with leveled patience as the two of you slowly rise from the bed.
“is he angry?” your voice comes out as a whisper, betraying your anxiety.
“yes, but not at you,” he assures, settling a hand on your shoulder, his touch light. “do not worry.”
but you did worry, all throughout the walk to the king’s advisory chambers to when you enter the door, startling him out of whatever hushed conversation he was engaged in with his staff. when he looks at you he is angry, and you’re glad in that moment for christopher’s warning. you moved with more confidence than you truly had, chris and felix’ presence at your sides helping more than you cared to admit.
“you wanted to see me, sire?” you ask, your hands wringing together. felix takes one of them into his own, if only to stop your movements.
“i wanted to discuss things with you,” stephen waves off his advisors, waiting for them to leave the chambers before continuing. “regarding your father.”
“my father is dead,” you state plainly, moving forward until you were in front of the king. “i swear fealty to you, my lord.”
you slowly knelt at his feet, gasping in surprise when felix knelt by your side.
“whatever i can do to prove my loyalty, i will do it,” you assured, keeping your head down. normally, you would internally bristle at the thought of kneeling before a king like this, in an act of submission, but this time it was different. this time, it was your choice.
“you have proven your loyalty by going against your own kin, my child,” his voice was thick with emotion. “please, stand.”
you don’t, until felix does and pulls you along with him. you’re confused at his immediate acceptance of you, the daughter of a man who wished him such ill-will. you look at him and you’re sure he can see the puzzlement on your face.
“i did not ask for you here to make you prove yourself,” he explains, gesturing at the papers strewn about the table. your father’s notes. “i simply wished to thank you, for preventing such heinous acts from occurring. these notes…” he pauses, as if gathering his thoughts. “are unsettling. more were found in his chambers, detailing increasingly vicious flights of fancy.”
you would learn later that in your father’s notes were his plans for you, for once his own were executed. perhaps stephen felt pity for you as a result of what he saw. when you meet eyes with the king, any trace of anger is gone, replaced with a deep kind of sadness.
“thank you, for keeping my family safe at the sake of your own welfare. anything you wish for, i will grant it.”
your mind screams at you that you don’t deserve it, that you had put them in more harm than anything, that he doesn’t owe you any kindness.
“i wish for nothing that i do not already have,” you glance at felix, shooting him a small smile when you notice the pride gleaming on his face.
───•───•───✧𓆩⟡𓆪✧───•───•───
it takes less of jumping through diplomatic hoops than you would have expected to sign your kingdom over to stephen. the lands were adjacent to one another, so rearranging property lines was as simple as removing a single line from a parchment map. you learned that it was more common than you had originally thought to combine kingdoms, though usually it resulted from acts of war. you were queen for all of two days before officially resigning.
your father, for all his boasting, did not carry many alliances with other nations, and the ones he did have stephen was glad to cut off. your father’s knights did little more than grumble about having to change their colors, and the ones that refused to were promptly dismissed from service.
the castle that was once your home was a different case; you never wished to go back there, other than to gather the things that still held your mother’s touch. that place hasn’t been a home to you in a while, but you decided that it could be a home to someone.
it would take some time, but you had plans to turn the palace into an orphanage. a place where everyone and anyone could come and seek shelter, food and water, and company. it was the least you could do for your people, who had suffered under your blind eye for over a decade while you sat in your chambers, ignorant to all that was going on outside the palace walls.
the biggest relief was the weight of your kingdom off of your shoulders. maybe it was selfish to think that way, but you had never asked for that life. you knew your people were in better hands with stephen than they ever would have been with your bloodline, and you could think of no better successors than chris and roseanne.
you had your ladies in waiting brought from your old palace, but they did little more than help you dress. jeongin had become your formal assistant, but you considered him a friend and a confidant more than anything. you had offered him and his family whatever he wanted, now that the riches your father held were in your name, but he had refused. he simply asked for a new house in the lower village for his parents and siblings, but stated that he wished to remain in the castle.
you and felix decided to hold off on announcing a formal betrothal, deeming it wiser to let the kingdom that had nearly doubled in size settle first. you had not been together long, after all, and most of your time together was spent with you under a guise. you took the time to relearn each other, to memorize every miniscule detail of the other’s personality, your habits and your mannerisms and your preferences. despite your earlier reservations, propriety mattered little with the two of you; you spent even more time together than you did before, and you had all but moved into his chambers, only using yours when you wanted someplace quiet to think.
you don’t remember a time when you were happier than you were now. for the first time in your life, you looked toward the future with brightness.
#stray kids imagines#stray kids fluff#lee felix fluff#lee felix imagines#felix x reader#stray kids x y/n#skz fluff#stray kids fic#stray kids hurt/comfort#lee felix x reader#lee felix x you#lee felix x y/n#lee felix fanfic#felix imagines
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hi!
I saw you were in desperate need of requests for our lovely Slytherin boys, so I figured I'd help haha.
Would you be inspired by "how the Slytherin boys would spend a rainy Sunday morning with you?" if not it's alright :)
love <3
How the Slytherin Boys Would Spend a Rainy Morning with You
Request: Would you be inspired by "how the Slytherin boys would spend a rainy Sunday morning with you?" if not it's alright :)
Hi! This is my first time doing one of these, so hopefully I do alright. Besides Regulus, I’ve never written for these characters, so please bear with me while I try and get the hang of it. Also, I’ve never read the fics Enzo and Mattheo are from, so this is just a little bit of research and a vibe I'm going with. If you think anything is out of character, please tell me, I’m happy getting any feedback to use in later work. Also, I’m ignoring that the boys' dorms are in the dungeons, since I wanted to put a window for some of them. Anyways, thank you so much for the request! I hope you like it :)
(Warnings: mentions of insomnia, insecurity, smoking, let me know if i missed anything)
—
Theodore Nott:
i think he’s definitely an insomniac. any amount of noise is going to wake him up, and then he’ll just be in his head till he finally forces himself out of bed.
i do think the sound of rain would make him tired too, but it would be so distracting that he couldn’t sleep through it. he’d be so frustrated, and maybe a little grumpy.
before you, he’d use the time to smoke outside under a covering undisturbed. but with you, he just wouldn’t be able to bring himself to get out of bed. he wants to go smoke, but he’s not about to wake you up. you’d ask him if he wants to go outside once you wake up, but he’d just shake his head.
you’re a much needed distraction, and he just wants to be close to you. i think he’s a bit touch starved, and he’d want you to hold him while he rests a little while longer.
nap time if he can fall asleep for sure. you’d be able to see how tired he was, and just gently try to coax him to rest for a little while longer till the rain passed.
Theo had been up for quite a while when you finally stirred. It was still quite early, and you had not intended on getting up until you felt the empty spot in the bed next to you. You found him sitting at the foot of the bed, a far off look in his eye. You furrowed your brows in confusion, sitting up to reach out to him. He nearly jumped up as he felt your hand on his shoulder, only relaxing when he turned around to see you gazing up at him.
“Are you alright?” You asked, running your thumb along the curve of his shoulder. “Can’t sleep?”
He just nodded his head to the window where you could see the rain breaching the wake of the Black Lake. “The rain. It woke me up a little bit ago.”
“A little bit?” You asked, trying to hide your frown when you saw the dark rings developing around and under his eyes.
He hadn’t slept well the past couple of nights, and you were hoping he was going to do better with you sleeping with him. But the weather had other plans.
He let out a frustrated sigh, having to take a calming breath. “Just maybe an hour or two.”
You could tell how aggravated not being able to sleep was making him. He couldn't sleep when he tried–and he couldn’t stay asleep once he finally managed to drift off. It was a vicious cycle, and you wished you could ease his pain. You looked over to the pack of cigarettes on his nightstand, seeing that one had been pulled out but not lit.
You gave his shoulder a squeeze, your voice soft. “Wanna go outside and smoke? I’ll come with you if you do, just let me–”.
Theo could feel embarrassment bubbling in his chest, feeling his skin heat. You knew him so well, even when neither of you had to say anything. You just understood how he ticked, and sometimes that frightened him.
He knew there was nothing about him that you judged or looked down on–he knew that. But sometimes, with how gentle and understanding you treated him, he’d begin to feel like a burden. Like he was something you convinced yourself you had to fix out of obligation, not because you wanted to. He couldn’t have been more wrong, but it was hard for him to see that. And when he saw you going out of your way to try and help him, he shut it down.
“No, pretty girl,” he interrupted, reaching up to cradle your cheek in his palm. “I’ll go later. Go back to sleep. You don’t need to be up for a while.”
You could feel your chest tighten. He needed your help, but he didn’t know how to ask for it–he didn’t know how to accept it. The day had barely started, and you could see how drained he was already. And with a full week of classes coming up?
He wasn't going to make it.
“Come here, sweet boy,” you pleaded, laying back down against the pillows and opening your arms. “Forget about the rain for a moment. Just lay with me for a bit. You don’t have to sleep–just close your eyes and breath.”
Theo almost said no.
He was so close to shaking his head and brushing you off, but he couldn’t ignore the look in your eyes. You wanted to hold him just as much as he needed to be held, and he was so exhausted that he didn’t have it in him to argue. He finally relented, crawling back into bed with you under the covers. He rested his head against your chest, letting his arms settle around your waist. You threaded your fingers through his hair, pressing a kiss to the top of his head. It was quiet for a moment as you stared up at the ceiling, his gaze set on the window.
“I can hear your heartbeat,” he murmured after a moment, pressing a kiss into your skin. “It’s nice.”
You smiled, knowing he could hear how your heart fluttered at his words. “Good. Focus on that, not the rain. Close your eyes, baby. Just rest.”
—
Lorenzo Berkshire:
this man is 100% the kind of guy that stomped in puddles as a little kid after it rained, even if his parents yelled at him for it.
he’d want to let you sleep, but he’d be so excited that—if you didn’t wake up fast enough—he’s easing you awake and begging you to come outside with him.
he wouldn’t want you getting wet tho, he doesn’t want you catching a cold or feeling uncomfortable. he just wants to be able to look at you while he enjoys his morning.
if you wanna splash in the puddles with him, he’ll get over himself and agree. but if you get sick, you’re getting a firm “i told you so,” but of course he’d take care of you anyways.
he’d think you look ADORABLE, even if you were soaked. once you get back inside to change, you better believe that man is throwing you one of his hoodies before you have a chance to put on something else.
You groaned as the bed shifted next to you, and a hand gently pulled at your shoulder. It was far too early for you to be up—Enzo especially, who loved nothing more than to sleep in—and you shrugged away as you buried your face in the pillows.
“Honey, please,” Enzo pleaded with you, a warm hand coming to cup your cheek. “I can’t wait any longer.”
You cracked one eye open, peering up at him with a huff of frustration. “What is it?”
“It’s raining!” He said excitedly, rolling out of bed to peer out the window.
You smiled, letting out an exasperated chuckle. You groaned as you pushed yourself up into a sitting position, rubbing the sleep from your eyes. Enzo was practically halfway out the window already, leaning over the rail to see the grounds below.
“It rains nearly every week, darling,” you said, the covers pooling around your waist.
“Not like this,” he rationalized, coming back over to the bed to put on his shoes. “The puddles down there are massive.”
You smiled wider, leaning down to the foot of the bed where he was sitting to wrap your arms around his waist. “You’re so adorable, sometimes. Still a kid at heart, I think. My life would be a lot happier if I could see it like how you see yours.”
“Actually, I’m adorable all the time,” he corrected, turning around to press a kiss to your cheek. “But you’re the reason my life is happy. Jumping in those puddles downstairs will just make me happier. Come with me?”
You nodded, throwing on some clothes before following him down the stairs to the ground below.
You winced as he slipped before steadying himself, letting out a laugh as he continued running. You internally urged him to be more careful, but you couldn’t help but smile from under the covered archway as he splashed around in the water, a dreamy glaze over his eyes. It must have been quite the sight to anyone looking out the windows above you.
One of the most popular Slytherins in the entire school–splashing around in puddles like a child.
After a moment, you stepped out into the rain with him. He held out a hand for you to steady yourself, before placing his hands on your waist to keep you from slipping. He smoothed your hair back to keep it from matting to your face when you stilled.
“Go back under the cover, sweetheart. It’s too cold. I don’t want you getting sick out here.”
You shook your head, letting your arms settle around his neck. “And why would I do that? You’re out here. You’re just as likely to get sick.”
“Yes, but I have you to take care of me. You’ll end up with Madam Pomfrey if you get sick, she’s a lot more capable of taking care of you than me.”
You shrugged, blinking the rain out of your eyes. “Poppy and I get along quite well.”
Enzo let you stay out with him another moment longer, before he was leading you both back inside. As soon as you got back up to his dorm, he was casting a Warming Charm on you and shoving you into the bathroom to change clothes. The second you stepped out, he was helping you pull one of his hoodies over your head.
“Better?” You asked, grinning when his cheeks flushed a rosy pink.
He nodded, pulling you close. “Better.
—
Mattheo Riddle:
rainy day? oh, you mean never come out from under the covers day?
he’d absolutely whine about being cold. expect cold feet touching your legs, even when you’re squirming and trying to push him away. he’s not letting go. you’re his personal heater.
he’s definitely using it as a day to just be close to you and talk. he hardly ever lets himself be completely vulnerable around you, but being this close to you makes him feel like he can. just listen as best you can, and he’ll value that time with you so much.
i do think he’d get a bit uncomfortable and restless after a while, but he’d still want to keep talking to you like this. so you’d come up with some excuse to bring him somewhere else secluded so he can still be open with you but more comfortably.
but getting wet? an absolute no from him. wherever you take him has to be dry, or you will be hearing about it from him for the rest of the day.
You woke up to ice cold feet rubbing against your shins, opening your eyes with a gasp. Mattheo had wrapped himself around you tightly, his arms trapping you in his hold.
“Mattheo!” You whined, trying to squirm away. “Matty, please get your feet off me. And, for Merlin’s sake, put on socks! I told you last time!”
“I can’t get out of bed in this weather! It’s too cold, darling.”
You could practically feel his teeth chattering. He nuzzled his head into your neck, but you could feel his grin when he slid his foot down your leg. You eventually relented, turning around in his hold to face him so he could pull you closer.
“Come here, you big baby,” you mused, making it a point to kick his foot away before you hooked your leg around his to warm him up.
You stayed like that for a long while, his head tucked up into your neck. Every once in a while, he’d murmur something into your skin, his voice low as he talked to you. You listened, muttering praises into his ear and coaxing him to continue every time there was a moment of silence. It was unusual to have him be this open with you, and you weren’t about to let him pull away.
After a while, Mattheo started to fidget. He’d stretch a limb one at a time before curling back into you, continuing to talk. You could see the strain on his face—you could hear it in his voice. Finally, you reached for your wand, casting a Warming Charm over you both. You stood up, pulling on a hoodie of his before passing another one to him.
“Come on, my love. Your bed is too tiny and the dungeons are too cold for us to both be cooped up in here all day. Let’s get you warm somewhere else.”
He grumbled as he pulled himself out of bed, but he eagerly took the hand you offered him. “If I get rained on I’m not talking to you for the rest of the day.”
“We both know that’s not true, darling,” you grinned, pressing a kiss to the back of his hand before pulling him out the door.
—
Regulus Black:
early riser for SURE.
like he’s definitely the type to wake up in the morning and just lay there and think. and with you there, he’d be more than content to just lay with you and listen to the rain.
he strikes me as the kind of person who likes an overcast sky. the sound of rain is calming, the sight of you is calming, and he wouldn’t feel like he needed to get up or do something productive. he’d just lay there and wait till you woke up to see what you wanted to do.
he really values his alone time, but he’d also appreciate sharing that time with you sometimes. you don’t have to talk, either. silence is good sometimes, and it brings him peace.
but he’s definitely the type that wants to stay in under the covers and just have the day with you. and if the rain stopped in the next ten minutes? he doesn’t care. he’s declared it a rainy day, and you can’t change his mind.
Regulus had been up for hours by the time you woke up. He had propped himself up against his headboard, and gently moved you to where your head was resting against his stomach. He had been absentmindedly smoothing his hand over your hair when you finally opened your eyes, looking up at him.
He felt you move your head, smiling down at you. “Morning, love.”
You took a deep breath, smiling as the fresh air from the open window gently wafted in. You reached for his free hand, intertwining your fingers with his.
“It’s finally raining,” you mused, peering out the window before dropping your head back down against his stomach. “I’ve been waiting all week for it to rain. Looks like it’s clearing up, though.”
“Is it? Well, we’ll ignore that, won’t we? I don’t feel like moving today. I’ll move tomorrow.”
You chuckled into his skin, tracing your fingertips just under the hem of his shirt. “I assume that means I’m not moving either, am I?”
Regulus just hummed, a warm feeling spreading through his chest as you settled yourself back into him. It was quiet for a moment as you both rested, feeling each other’s chests rise and fall. Regulus felt the worries of the day quite literally blow away, allowing himself this time with you. And with how relaxed you looked in his arms, he knew you felt the same way.
“Let me know if you’re getting hungry, alright?” He asked softly just as you were beginning to drift back off. “We can go down.”
You nodded, closing your eyes as you nuzzled closer to him. He smiled to himself, finally tearing his eyes away from you to look back out the window.
—
A/N - Hi! I’m so sorry that some of these are a bit longer than others, I just find it easier writing for some of the boys. I have such a soft spot for Theo, and I got a little carried away. I promise to make the next one a little more even and fair. Thank you again for reading and submitting prompts, I’ll gladly take any more you have! I hope you enjoyed this :)
#harry potter#slytherin#slytherin boys react#slytherin boys#theodore nott x reader#theo nott x reader#enzo berkshire x reader#lorenzo berkshire#lorenzo berkshire x reader#theodore nott#mattheo riddle x reader#mattheo riddle#regulus black#regulus black x reader
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Y'all, my man Lucifer just likes himself some duckies.
Anyway, feel free to read through my rant of why I think he likes ducks so much. SPOILERS for S1 Ep8 toward the end.
(Click image for better quality.)
So in case you don't know, there's this famous(ish) Christian story called "The Devil and the Duck". I'm gonna try my best to summarize it here.
This boy gets a slingshot as a present and decides to be a little shit and impulsively uses it to shoot his grandma's pet duck. This kills the duck and the boy feels extreme guilt. His stupid bitchass sister reveals that she saw the whole thing and holds the boy's guilt over his head (remember this phrasing for later) and makes him do her chores and stuff for him, using what he did as blackmail and a guilt-trip.
The boy for a while keeps doing his sister's bidding until he cracks under the guilt and exhaustion from all the chores, and in a break down he apologizes to his grandma, admitting what he did to the duck. The grandma then reveals that she saw what happened from a nearby window, and although she was deeply hurt by what the boy did, she still forgave him immediately. She says that she'll always love the boy since he's her grandson and that seeing his immediate regret was enough for her. She was just waiting for him to admit it, apologize, and stop letting his sister manipulate him.
In the story the boy represents humanity/any person, the sister represents the devil, and the grandma represents God/Jesus. The boy commits a horrific sin and feels immense guilt over it and the sister/devil holds the sin over his head and tries to convince him to do her bidding since the sin was so great that there's no way that grandma/God could forgive him. The lesson of the story's pretty obvious from there: don't let the devil guilt you with your sins into giving up and turning against God since God sees all your sins and faults and still loves you and forgives you anyway, so long as you apologize and repent for your sin against him.
I think Lucifer as we see him in Hazbin Hotel is placing himself both as the devil (obviously) but also the boy in the story. He's clearly interpreted more as a sympathetic, guilt-ridden figure. He surrounds himself with memorabilia of his greatest regret: the downfall of man (hence the apples and snakes.) Now keep in mind that I've highlighted the phrasing of "holding over [one's] head", well that's because that's the specific phrasing used in the story. Now look at Lucifer's hat. It has the snake and apple. Lucifer is LITERALLY holding his greatest sin over his own head and has given up on his dreams and happiness in favor of doing the bidding of his own personal devil: his depression. He's let himself whither away in isolation and gave up on trying to be a proper king for the people he granted free will to since in his mind they're all wretched sinners abusing that gift. All he sees is the bad side of humanity.
I think to him the duck symbolizes the dreamer still inside him, that bit of hope left in him, that hope that even though he's the cause of evil in humanity he'll still one day be forgiven and maybe even be let back into heaven. We see heavenly figures like Sera and Emily feeling clear sympathy for him in S1 Ep6. They don't hate him, they just fear earning the same fate. Even going into S1 Ep8 we see him decide to stop letting his depression rule over him and help Charlie redeem sinners. He's working to, in some way, repent for his greatest sin because, thanks to Charlie, he's seeing the good in humanity again.
Do I have any way of knowing if this is even REMOTELY accurate? ...No... but I like the thought of this being the reason behind Lucifer's duck hyperfixation, and I haven't seen anyone talk about this or bring this possibility up. Anyways, thanks for reading my little rant :3
#fanart#artworks#digital art#hazbin hotel#lucifer hazbin hotel#lucifer#hazbin lucifer#lucifer hazbin#lucifer morningstar#lucifer magne#hazbin#hazbin spoilers#vivziepop#hazbin art#hazbin hotel fanart#hazbin hotel spoilers#hellaverse#hazbin charlie#charlie morningstar#dad beat dad#rendering is hard#illustration#digital illustration#artists on tumblr#hazbin hotel theory#hazbin hotel thoughts
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PALENTINES -
[ ot7 x reader ]
SINGLE LADIES 😁🔥
8 participants - 8 online
———————————
tae: gave my gf an hour long whimpering audio for valentines day
namjoon: you make me sick
jimin: this definitely counts as harassment
jk: yoongi got me a plastic fork
yoongi: yw
y/n: the audio was 5 minutes long????
tae: ok but i sent it to you 20 times
do the math????
jin: you sat there and whimpered into ur phone for 5 minutes that’s crazy
don’t you feel any shame??
tae: why would i feel shame?
it’s called being in love jin
you should try it sometime
jimin: it’s called harassment
hobi: ew man
jk: free asmr :D
jin: it’s gonna be free tae from jail soon
tae: no it won’t
jimin: ur right when you get locked up no one’s gonna want you free
hobi: KEEP TAE IN JAIL 🗣️💯
jk: personally i would want tae free
jimin: personally ur not real so it doesn’t matter what you want
jk: :ᗡ
hobi: ew how the hell did you flip it
i hate that
ew
jk: :ᗡ
hobi: HOW DID YOU DO THAT
jk: :ᗡ
hobi: STOP GO AWAY I HATE IT
namjoon: yoongi got jungkook a present this year?
yoongi: not by choice
y/n: it was by choice
hobi: it was a plastic fork
yoongi: a plastic fork not given by choice
y/n: yoongi
yoongi: no
y/n: please
yoongi: no
y/n: pretty please :3
yoongi: it was by choice
y/n: see told you!
yoongi: don’t understand why we have to buy each other shit on this holiday anyways
i like ONE of you not all of you
tae: am i the one you like be honest
yoongi: bye
y/n: it’s our silly little tradition don’t be a loser yoongi
yoongi: whatever
jin: ok anyways who ordered me a fucking marching band???
jk: idk but did you like it??
y/n: gonna take a wild guess and say it was jungkook
namjoon: i thought you have his card how did he order that??
y/n: he has apple pay now i can’t stop him 😕
hobi: wait no fair
jin did NOT deserve a marching band all he got me was his butter photocard???
jimin: he got me that too….
jk: OMG ME TOO >_<
tae: i don’t feel special anymore
namjoon: really jin?
y/n: mine was signed!!
yoongi: cheap
jin: you literally got kook a plastic fork?
yoongi: he loves it
jungkook tell him you love it
jk: i love it
yoongi: see
jin: whatever don’t care
jimin: namjoon got me a fucking book
jin: lol that’s crazy cuz you can’t read
jk: i’m sorry to hear you can’t read jimin hope you can soon :/
namjoon: i put a lot of thought into the book i got you
jin: that��s cute but he can’t read so
jk: i wish i was a book
tae: if you’re a book does that make you a tree?
jk: guys
y/n: no jungkook
jk: oh ok
jimin: i CAN read btw
yoongi: don’t care
jin: sounds like fake news
jk: omg wow ur a fast learner jimin you can read now!!!
jimin: ur talking way too much today
you should stop
jk: is he talking to me????
hobi: y/n got me a holiday to australia
i’m not gonna go cuz like bugs
but that was really nice
y/n: you’re welcome!!!!
tae: k but i got sex
y/n deleted this message!
tae: 😕
silencing me like they did MLK
jimin: what
jk: milk
hobi: did you just compare urself to mlk?
jin: yeah never say that again
tae: why not?? it’s true
yoongi: you are nothing like mlk
jk: tae ur not milk
namjoon: taehyung do not compare yourself to martin luther king ever again please and thank you
jk: or milk
y/n: and in black history month too…
tae: you don’t understand me or him
y/n: yeah ok
back to gifts
joon got me some really pretty flowers
jimin: boringggggggg he does that every year
jk: namjoon got me wood
hobi: ?
namjoon: statue
it’s a wooden statue thing
not just wood
tae: joon giving other boys wood for valentines ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️
u wanna know who i gave MY wood too
y/n deleted this message!
namjoon: tae shut up
jin: saw that
tae: i’m just like mlk i’m telling you man
y/n: stop
tae: sorry
jimin: hobi got me shoes
hobi: i did
jk: hobi got me cheese
hobi: expensive cheese
y/n: i took yoongi to those cute photo booth things
yoongi: they didn’t need to know that
y/n: yes they did
we are sharing what we got each other
read the room yoongi
jimin: yeah yoongi read the room
tae: how tf u read a room??!
a room not a book ☠️☠️
u guys dumb as hell
jin: you not knowing what reading a room means makes a lot of sense actually
jk: send photobooth pics ^0^
bet u looked so cute
not you yoongi
y/n
her
not yoongi
i’m talking to y/n NOT you yoongi btw
yoongi: shut up
and no
you’ll never see those photos
jk: ☹️
hobi: so what did yoongi get y/n??
yoongi: don’t worry
tae: personally i’m worried
jk: me 2 guys yoongi is really scary
what if he killed her
y/n: ?
jin: i want to blow jungkook up
jk: i’m no ballon 😭
jimin: probably fucked for valentines let’s be real
tae: well that’s obviously NOT true lmao 😜 ☠️
yoongi: why is that “obviously” not true
we could of
tae: you didn’t
yoongi: and you know how?
tae: cuz i just know
yoongi: yeah ok
we could of for all you know
on the actual day too
tae: you weren’t even with her on valentine’s day
yoongi: and you were?
y/n: he wasn’t
tae: ok
but i could of been
yoongi: but clearly you weren’t
tae: neither were you
namjoon: both of you stop
tae: idk why yoongi acts all high a mighty
especially when it comes to her
y/n: ok that’s crazy
how about you don’t talk about me like i’m not here!
yoongi: idk why taehyung acts like he has a chance lmao
jk: guys
tae: that’s actually crazy
you’d be fucking surprised yoongi!!!!
yoongi: what’s that supposed to mean?
tae: what do you think it means?
tell me yoongi
guess
i’ll tell you if you’re right or not
yoongi: shut the fuck up
tae: or what?
hobi: why this kinda sexualllll
jimin: like 😭😭😭😭
y/n: LMAO STOP
jin: arguing over pussy that belongs to neither of them is crazy i’m just saying
jk: pussy \ ^0^ /
namjoon: how about we all stop arguing and move back to talking about the gifts we got eachother !!
hobi: jungkook got me a ballon
jk: yeah
do you love it
hobi: sure
jk: ^_^
jimin: personally i think hobi’s lying to you kook
jk: WHAT
jimin: i think he hates his ballon actually
jk: hobi pls say he’s lying
hobi: he’s lying
you see it may seem that way because on the outside im a very chill and nonchalant man
y/n: that is not true actually!
hobi: but on inside i am actually very chalant
EXTREMELY chalant no joke
so basically inside im going fucking crazy over the ballon jungkook gave me but it just doesn’t seem like that cuz im a chill guy
jk: but inside ur chalant
hobi: exactly
jk: jimin why would you lie to me
jimin: ur easy to lie to
jk: no im not
jimin: namjoon died in a car crash 24 hours ago
jk: NO NAMJOON OHHMYGOD NAMJOON NO
namjoon: i am not dead
jk: oh
y/n: how did you fall for that
namjoon cant even drive
jk: oh yeah
lol namjoon cant drive guys
namjoon: ok we all know
hobi: so what did you guys actually do on valentine’s day
jk: minecraft but then it got too scary so i played valorant instead
jimin: idk what any of that means but ok
i personally watched movies with joon
namjoon: yeah
i dropped by kook’s and y/n’s place first tho to give my gifts and stuff
hobi: where was my movie invite?????
jimin: we did call you
you were like high as hell
hobi: oh
wow
how real of me
jin: i cooked steak
jimin: for urself?
typical
jin: kys
no
for me and y/n actually
y/n: …
jin: my fault
yoongi: what
tae: oh
jk: SHE SAID SHE WAS BUSY
TTAHSTNOT FAIIROGJKFNKLDVLKFNKLFHKLNNDKVHNFKVNKLGNGR UFHDFHDKJ GHDKLNGFKLNGFG FHJDJHHGR DHGGRHBDNBF JGHKJGHGR
hobi: ????????????????????
namjoon: cool
jimin: jin???? out of everyone JIN??????
why would you fuck jin
jk: WHATR OHMYGOF WHAT?????? SHUT UP
jimin: on valentine’s day too…..
even fucking ME would make more sense than jin right now
jin: tf is that supposed to mean?
jimin: i said what i said lmao
tae: she cant of fucked jin
cuz she’s fucking me
yoongi: LMAOOOO
u really think your special dont you
thats crazy
jk: WHYIS EVERYONEFUCKING MY GIRLFRIENDOHMGYOJFDJFDKJDSDB
hobi: i dont get it even if she was fucking tae why couldn’t she fucked jin too?
y/n: i am like right here you know
tae: because me and her are serious
yoongi: serious???
you are just a rebound
tae: yoongi i think you’re just upset she didn’t come to you first after the whole jaehyun thing
yoongi: i’m glad she didn’t actually because now i know for sure i’m not rebound
you are
tae: shut the fuck up
yoongi: why? you getting upset?
idk why you’re acting like the victim here when you’re using her for the same thing
hobi: woah??
jimin: cap taehyung bitchless
yoongi: it’s time you stop using y/n to get over jennie and grow some fucking balls
jin: hold on
jimin: WAITTTTTTTT
hobi: SHUT FUCKING DOWN FR????
jk: imgonnapassout
y/n: oh
namjoon: yoongi
tae: i am not using y/n to get over jennie and you know that
hobi: wait ur fr??? taejennie was fr??
LIKE ACTUALLY?? OHMYGIDTHISISREAL??
yoongi: i know that? thats crazy how could i know that??
you didn’t even tell us about jennie
for over 3 months you were with her and you didn’t tell us
and then those photos of you and her were leaked and you were all depressed for ”no reason”
and now all of a sudden your obsession with y/n?
yeah you’re not using her you’re right i’m just fucking stupid aren’t i?
jimin: holy shit man
tae: i am not using her
yoongi: so why is yeontan with jennie right now?
y/n: tae you told me he was with you parents?
tae: yeah
but
i didn’t tell you that because im using you or anything i just said that because i didn’t want to cause any problems
y/n: you lied to me
for no reason
if you told me the truth it would of been fine
tae: i know
y/n: so when i came over
were you planing on sleeping with me anyways?
were you mad at yourself for calling jennie and leaving yeontan with her?
did you use me to help forget about it?
tae: did you use me to help get over jaehyun?
y/n: no
i can tell you that in full confidence no
now answer my question
tae: you know i would never do that to you
y/n: its a yes or no question taehyung
tae: i would never do that to you
yoongi: yes or no you asshole
tae: shut the fuck up
yoongi: answer her question
tae: leave me the fuck alone
tae left “SINGLE LADIES😁🔥”
jk: wow
y/n: didn’t sleep with jin btw
jk: ohthankgod
y/n: did sleep with tae once
we are NOT serious
jk: double ohthankgod
wait
y/n: and now i am going to sleep
jungkook come cuddle
gn all
jk: ON MY WAY OHMYGOD IM ON MY WAY
gn
jimin: good night …
hobi: nite!!
yoongi: gn
jin: goodnight
namjoon: gn
DOWNBAD😭🫵🏻 #2 (minus tae)
6 participants - 5 online
———————————
namjoon: yoongi that wasn’t fair
yoongi: i know
but she deserved to know
and he wasn’t gonna tell her any time soon
hobi: YOU AND NAMJOON KNEW THIS TAEJENNIE WAS REAL THIS WHOLE TIME????
yoongi: i just found out
namjoon knew longer
namjoon: not that long
jimin: ok but how do you know tae is using her fr?
yoongi: it’s not hard to connect the dots
jin: still you could be wrong
yoongi: well he didn’t deny it did he?
jimin: to me it looked like he didn’t know if he was using her or not
yoongi: well he needs to figure that out soon it’s not fair to her
or him ig
but mainly her.
—
hate this don’t care about anything bring back yellow….
tags: @piw6n @92jinnies @birdie-vhs @kooksmilitarywife @hob3loveofmylife @jujubiism @bloopkook @ratchetpizza1 @myntalks @arloo00 @watamotee33 @y2kcy3brz @taiwan0618 @freyadanvers @gguksbeloved @raetf @bbsantc @winuvs @medicinemybish @bxnnyhime @leleluvsbts @baetukki @zyaaaszn @thelilbutifulthings @jazminethecreator @k4ngelz @jmnscutie @threeopossumsinacoat @cynicalyoongs @lightningpussy54 @eunthv @gigiiiiislife @lowkeykin @elissasimp @socksfirstalways @knjlvr06 @lailaisarmy @thvkives @xstfudaisyx @xxxanimangxxx @solstice34 @ml8dy @hoeforseoks
#bts crack#bts fanfic#bts fluff#bts imagines#bts fic#bts text#bts x reader#btsxy/n#btsxyou#namjoon × reader#jin x reader#yoongi > reader#hoseok × reader#jimin x reader#taehyung × reader#jungkook × reader#bts texts#rm x reader#suga reader#vx reader#hope x reader#hobix reader#bts fake chats#bts incorrect texts
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Maybe billy hargrove x sunshine!cheerleader!reader ? where they‘re dating and the rest of the cheer squad (except chrissy <3) is jealous so they act like they are her friends and they keep asking her questions about billy to have a chance with him, but she doesn’t realize because she thinks they’re just interested in her relationship since they’re ‘re apparently her friends. But billy is super loyal (kinda unrealistic with his character but anyway lol) and every time they they try to hit on him he rejects them pretty harshly ? And maybe in the end she finally stands up for herself and billy is just like „that‘s my girl.“
I‘m so sorry if this was hard to understand it‘s my first time requesting and I was so nervous🥲, especially since I basically read all of your ST fics😭
Love love love a good boyfriend Billy fic 🫶🏻
I hope this is what you wanted and you enjoy it. Thank you for requesting <3
Cheerleader game
When the word got out that Billy Hargrove locked down on one girl, hell broke loose. The boys were excited that there wouldn't be any more competition, but the girls were having a hard time accepting it. Billy was the heartthrob of the school and every girl wanted their turn with him. But his eyes landed on Y/N, and they never left.
Y/N was sweet, bubbly, and all-around a ball of sunshine. Her being with Billy was a shock to everyone. Sure, she was a cheerleader and Billy only focused on the popular crowd. But the squad couldn't believe out of all of them, he picked her.
Their jealousy made them bitter and snakes. They swarmed Y/N countlessly with questions about Billy. They craved every detail they could get, details to make him interested in them. Poor Y/N didn't know their intentions, she thought they were just interested in her new relationship. She thought they were being friends.
~~~
"So Y/N, tell us! What does he like about you?" Bethany smiled, patting her manicured nails against the table.
"Um, I don't know. I feel like you'd have to ask him that." Y/N laughed awkwardly. To be honest, she wondered why he liked her too. But she didn't think too long about it. He liked her and asked her out. That's what mattered.
"Wrap your brain around it! You beat out the whole school, there must be something special about you." Bethany said, her eyes glared for a tiny second then a bright smile took over her face.
Y/N tried to rank her brain for compliments Billy gave. She smiled as a few came to mind.
"Oh, I know! He loves my pink lip gloss. He said he loves how shiny and irresistible it makes my lips!"
~~~
Billy was walking towards his car when he saw a girl leaning on it. He eyed her quickly but didn't recognize much about her.
"Can I help you?" Billy asked, and not politely. His voice was thick and sharp. His eyes raised in a bothered way and his body language read annoyed.
Bethany giggled and popped her gum. The gum brought attention to her shiny pink lips. Billy noticed the familiarity of the gloss but didn't say anything about it.
"See something you like? The gloss maybe?" She teased, she slowly applied the lipgloss over her already-coated lips. Billy saw the bottle and confirmed it was the same kind Y/N wore.
"Not on you," Billy said, chuckling at the shocked look on Bethany's face. He got in the car and started the engine. The loud rumble made Bethany move out of the car with a growl.
~~~
"What do you guys enjoy doing on dates? Does he like to go to the movies or something?" Sarah asked, throwing her bright blonde hair over her shoulder.
"We go to the movies a lot! He's really into action movies. He wants to go see that new Batman movie."
~~~
Billy was finishing practice, his sweat dripping from his curls down his chest. The small shorts he wore caught every cheerleader's attention. Practicing in the same gym was the best thing the school came up with.
While Y/N and Chrissy were having a small talk on the couch, Sarah took the opportunity to race off to talk to Billy. After her talk with Y/N yesterday, she raced to the movie theater to buy two tickets for the new Batman film for opening night.
She snatched the tickets and confidently walked up to Billy. His back to her as he switched out his shirts. Sarah felt drool on her chin as she watched his tan back move. She tapped on his shoulder, a smile on her face as he turned.
"Hi, Billy! You looked great during practice today." She batted her eyelashes and trailed her hand up his arm. She tried not to pout when he pushed her hand off and made a grunt sound in response.
"Anyway!" She brushed it off, "I got two tickets for that new Batman movie, would you maybe want to go?"
"Sweet! Thanks!" He smiled. There was a glint in his eye that made her stomach flip. "Can I see them?" He asked, his hand reaching out. She tried to catch her breath as his fingertips touched her skin. Her body was on fire from the simple touch.
"Opening night! That kicks ass. Thanks." He said he slipped the tickets into his pocket. "See ya."
Sarah was confused as she watched him walk off. She turned around and growled when she saw him walk up to Y/N. The tickets were in his hands as he showed them to Y/N, who excitedly nodded. They walked out hand in hand with Sarah's tickets.
~~~
Y/N screamed as Billy scored the winning shot. The gymnasium was electric as the boys celebrated their win. Y/N waited for all the boys to finish congratulating Billy, waiting for her turn to race in his arms and kiss his face.
By the time the boys finished, the cheer squad raced to Billy next. Y/N stood shocked as all these girls swarmed her boyfriend. Their hands on his skin, and lips on his cheek. That's supposed to be her!
"Get your man, girl." Chrissy encouraged, her arms crossed as she looked in shame at her team.
Y/N huffed and marched over to her boyfriend. She felt a sense of pride that he didn't look pleased either. He looked annoyed with all these girls.
Once his blue eyes caught hers, a smile lit up his whole face. Y/N wanted to laugh at the way he pushed through the girls, his feet walking towards her.
"There's my girl." He cheered, his arms open as she raced into them. She ignored everyone around them as Billy spun her in the air. Her praise was the only one he cared about hearing it from.
"Amazing, baby." Her words pressed against his lips as she kissed him. And she kissed him hard. Her hands were in his hair as he set her back on the floor. Her back arched as he dipped her.
When they separated from their hot kiss, Y/N offered him a smile before she looked to her team. Her face was hard as the smile was swiped off her face. A glare and snarl sent their way as she stepped closer to them.
"I'm done with all you girls flirting and touching him. He's taken and he's not interested. If you continue to disrespect my relationship, your ass is off the team." The girls quickly ran off, A sense of fear filled the atmosphere as they refused to look at her or Billy.
Y/N stood proudly as she watched them scatter.
"Atta girl." Billy praised, his arms wrapping around her from behind. His face snuggled in her neck as she giggled at the feeling.
"Gotta sink my claws in you a tad bit more, I think," Y/N said, quietly moaning as Billy nipped at her neck.
"Gladly let you."
#billy hargrove fic#billy hargrove fanfic#billy hargrove stranger things#billy hargrove x reader#billy hargrove fluff#billy hargrove#billy hargrove x female reader#billy hargrove x cheerleader! reader#ashwhowrites
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hi! i’m not sure if you’re still taking requests, but i love your writing and your page!
i have a nsfw request and you can totally say no or not do it, but i rly just wanna see someone write it!
so like y/n is super sweet and kind at work at the bau, and everyone expects her to be super innocent since she’s almost the youngest out of all of them, but one night she ends up at hitch’s hotel room during a case because she’s stressed and her and hotch kind of have something between them (like they both rly want each other but won’t say anything, the whole team knows)
anyways, they like get down to it (idfk 😭), and she’s the complete opposite of what he expects, and it kind of surprises him because she seems so innocent and it rly turns him on (that sounds weird idk but YOU GET IT 😭😭).
anyways, i rly hope u write it but don’t feel obligated to if you don’t want to, love! also i think it would be rly funny if she’s caught rly early in the morning sneaking out of his room and a few ppl from the team catch her sneaking out!
maybe like softdom!hotch? idk 😭 SORRY IVE NEVER MADE A REQUEST
ANYWAYS. i love your writing so much! hope you have an amazing day love!
- 🎃
hii!! i hope you have an amazing day too <3 i love you!
nsfw - 18+ minors dni!!!
♡ ♡ ♡ ♡
“And I was screaming at him. If I hadn’t woken up the next second, I would have probably attacked him physically.”
Hotch chuckled at your words as he took a seat right next to you on the edge of his bed.
“Don’t laugh! This is serious, am I going crazy?”
“No, you aren’t,” he said, and gently placed his hand on your thigh in an attempt to calm you down. “I’ve also had dreams about unsubs, it’s normal. You were probably affected because you had talked to the victim just a few hours before he killed her.”
He knew you were worried, but he couldn’t help but notice that you were biting your bottom lip that same way that always drove him crazy. It was so hard being around you; in his hotel room, all alone, with the scent of your perfume clouding his judgment.
“Okay. Maybe I’m overthinking it,” you said, and he caught you staring at his hand on you. If there was any indication of you being uncomfortable he would have never put it there in the first place. But he could see the look on your face; you liked it.
So he kept it there.
Your eyes travelled from his hand to his eyes. God, you were so beautiful, all he wanted to do was lay you down on that bed and take you until you were screaming his name.
The way you were staring at him made him wonder if you could read his thoughts. You were a profiler after all.
“Thanks for the advice,” you said. “You’re a wise old man.”
“That’s David.”
Nothing gave him the same level of satisfaction making you laugh did. During those moments you were almost his.
“Right, sorry,” you giggled.
There was that same look again. You were biting your lips, bit this time it wasn’t out of nervousness; you were trying to contain your laughter.
Hotch didn’t know where he found the courage, but he removed his hand from your thigh and brought it to your face, running his thumb over your mouth. “I love it when you play with your lips.”
You silently blinked at him for a moment, and for that moment Aaron forgot how to breathe. He only obtained the ability to breathe again for a second, before you took it away by opening your mouth and licking the pad of his finger.
The sight and the feeling of your tongue on him made his dick twitch.
You sucked on it slowly, your eyes never leaving his. It wasn’t hard for him to imagine your mouth was on a different part of his body, as you swirled your tongue around his fingertip.
Who would have thought?
He removed his finger from your mouth and while it was still wet from your saliva, he grabbed your face and dragged you close to him.
“What kind of behavior is this? And in front of your boss? I thought you were a good girl,” he said, his nose touching yours.
“I am.”
He could argue, but he’d rather kiss you instead. So he did.
Your little sighs in the middle of the kiss were already driving him insane - he couldn’t even imagine how you’d sound when his hand would find its way between your thighs.
Soon you were on his lap, straddling him, and he pulled away to take your top off. You were eager for another kiss, but he had to take a moment to admire the way your breasts looked covered in that beautiful black lace.
He pulled the left side of your bra down just enough to release your nipple. He played with it with his fingers, making it hard and once it was ready he replaced his hand with his mouth.
The pretty moans that were coming out of your mouth made him even more eager, so he grabbed you by the hips and pushed you down to grind on his cock even harder. You were the most angelic thing he had ever seen, but all he wanted to do was destroy you.
Before he had the chance to think of his next move, you got off his lap with a grin and took of your shoes and jeans.
“Lie down,” you said.
“Who am I to say no to you?”
You crawled on the bed, but didn’t come up to him like he expected. Instead you kneeled between his legs and started unbuckling his belt.
He was painfully hard already and he was counting down the minutes he would finally be in your hands.
Your smirk when you saw his released cock went straight to his ego. And he couldn’t wait to see you full of it.
The way you positioned yourself in all fours, and licked his length while making eye contact with him, looked like it came out of a porno movie.
Your ass looked delicious; the fabric of your panties almost non-existent making him wish he could reach it and give you a few spanks.
“Fuck…”
It was sloppy; one moment you were licking his dick from bottom to top, and the other your hand was wrapped around it while your tongue was swirling around the tip. And it was perfect.
“Fuck, it’s so good. You’re so good at it, baby, you’re so good,” he said, his hand pushing the back of your head so you could suck him deeper.
You cupped his balls and smirked at the way he moaned. You were enjoying it, maybe as much as he was.
“You like it, baby?”
You nodded, and closed your eyes moving your tongue in a torturous pace.
“You know what I like?”
At his question your eyes opened again, and you shook your head.
Aaron signaled you to go up to him for a moment, and grabbed your chin with two of his fingers to maintain the eye contact.
“I like that you’re all shy,” he said and paused to give you a kiss. “Quiet.” Another kiss. “Innocent, in front of others. But with me…you show me what a little slut you are. Just for me.”
Your smile would be the end of him.
“Just for you,” you repeated his words and kissed him before moving between his legs again.
“Spit on it,” he said. “Make it messy, baby, I wanna see you drool.”
You did as he said. He didn’t know where to focus, at your ass, the way your tits were hanging, or your mouth that was doing devilishly things to him.
Finally, he wasn’t looking at anything at all, with his eyes closed, cumming right into your mouth.
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sleep without you ~ charles leclerc (cl16)
my masterlist | my f1 masterlist
pairing: charles leclerc x fem!reader
song inspiration: sleep without you ~ brett young
summary: charles struggles to function properly without her by his side, or a story of a night without his girlfriend.
words: 2.1K
warnings: nothing, just fluff and a slightly clingy charles baby <3
a/n: idk why but this song honestly screams charles to me whenever i hear it, so i just had to make it happen. also this was supposed to be posted on my one year f1-aversary as celebration (well technically it should be more if counting my childhood f1 years but anyway), but i was so caught up in another wip that i couldn't do it. so happy anniversary to me and f1 (two weeks late) with this lil ficlet <3 thankful for all that f1 gave me.
big thanks to the amazing lovely silverstonesainz for helping me make this better and to the equally awesome monzabee for making me much less anxious with her words. love you sm queens!!
please, don't be a ghost reader, leave a comment or rb!
Charles spends a whole afternoon trying to convince her to have a night out with her friends. Just because they're in a relationship doesn't mean they can't have fun without the other as well from time to time. There are still a couple of weeks left of winter break, plenty of opportunity to spend time just the two of them before the season starts again. So the usual point of view, the usual reasoning doesn't stand a chance – that they should spend as much time together as they can, before he's back to travelling all around the world.
"Go to a club, grab some drinks, dance and laugh the night away", he tells her. The usual bestie coffee dates or walks in the park that she usually raises as argument are not the same as a night out, and she hasn't done that for so long now. Definitely not since he's been back home, and he knows just how much she enjoys dancing her heart out.
(y/n) agrees after a short while, accepting his reasons, knowing full well that he's right, and after a few phone calls she starts getting ready, soon walking out the front door, dressed all pretty and dolled up.
Doesn't take long before Charles realises what he's done. A feeling tingles in his chest, one he recognises swiftly. He's miserable. Solely because she's not there by his side, as he makes dinner, eats it – all by himself –, before settling on the couch to occupy himself with a movie. It doesn't matter though, he doesn't pay any attention to it. He doesn't even know what's going on, he hasn't heard a single line, too busy thinking about her.
When the credits start to roll, he switches the TV off with a surprised look in his eyes – how did it already end? He doesn't even remember the first scene ending. Then he moves into the bathroom to do his night routine, from taking a shower to putting on some skincare products, all the while wondering how long she will be out for? Will she come home soon? Hope tingles in his chest that the answer to his question is yes.
Having finished with everything, Charles lies down in bed, trying to read a book, then scrolling on social media, doing anything to keep his mind from straying over and over again back to her. He knows this is stupid, he was the one telling her to go out, why is he like this now? Lying awake on his side of the bed, the fingers on his right hand tracing figures onto the sheet where her body usually rests.
This is pathetic, Charles thinks. He never thought he would be like this, so miserable and impatient just because she's not at home, with him. He's tossing around, unable to find a comfortable position for himself – it seems like he forgot how to sleep without her. No matter how many times he's had to do just that, in hotel rooms all around the world. The past few weeks erased all those nights from his mind.
The delicious scent of her shampoo fills his lungs when his face lands just a bit too close to her pillow, and all of a sudden it's like he's burying his nose in her hair. It only makes him miss her more. Sleeping is impossible, he knows it now. He's only daydreaming, not actually dreaming, of her arriving home and being in his arms again.
Charles imagines the way she dances in the middle of the floor, her hands in the air, shouting the lyrics loudly to the song currently playing – most probably something she knows and loves –, and he can't help but smile fondly. Just the thought of her having fun is enough to make him happier, even in his misery.
He pictures a scene where a random guy tries to get too close to her, as it has happened so many times, whenever he leaves her alone for a few minutes at any club they've been to. It doesn't matter where they are, doesn't matter if they spent the night so far together, all over each other, someone comes into the picture immediately when he leaves, either to grab a drink for the two of them, or to go to the restrooms.
It's not like he doesn't understand those guys. She's simply gorgeous, and radiates such a vibrant aura that everyone is drawn to her. He honestly just finds it funny at this point. Nothing makes these men back off more effectively than her. Oh, the amount of times he bit back laughter watching the scene unfold from a distance. Seeing men crumble and disappear looking all ashamed, what a sight that is. And he doesn't have to do anything.
He wonders how many times she's had to fight off guys so far tonight, with him not even in the club, and he finds he can't wait to hear all her stories of the newest victims. Pierre never understood why Charles found it so amusing, he didn't seem to get it. The trust they have in each other. Knowing that it's him she'll come home to at the end of the night is enough to make him only feel entertained by each instance, and not irritated at the slightest bit.
But thinking about (y/n) fighting off men is only good enough entertainment for a limited amount of time, and soon the smile fades back into a miserable pout on his lips, as his thoughts turn back into ones of impatience, trying to make time move faster with short little prayers falling as mumbles from his lips.
With a sigh, he eventually sits up, looking around to find something he can do. At last he decides on grabbing a drink himself, maybe it will help stop the flow of thoughts racing in his head. A little welcomed dullness.
He takes a seat at the kitchen table, sipping on the liquid in his glass, enjoying the feeling of the light alcohol gently burning his throat on the way down, numbing his tongue along the way. His fingers stay restless, now drumming on the wooden surface. A few minutes later he realises they play a song, soundless except the soft thud of his fingertips with the occasional louder tap or little scratch of his nails when a finger finds a different angle to hit the table with.
A melody appears in his mind as he watches his fingers move, imagining how it would sound if it was his piano instead of the kitchen table. He would go sit at the beautiful, white instrument and try it, but he doesn't want to be so loud at such a late hour. And anyway, he's way too comfortable sitting where he is to stand up and go somewhere else.
He looks out the window, catching sight of the moon – almost full, just a tiny bit of it missing, and Charles examines the craters that are visible to the naked eye, though only as spots of a darker shade on the round shape.
Maybe he'll name this new musical piece that's being born in his head right now after her – well, if he ever finishes it. He'll keep the usual format, three letters of a city name and a date, only this time putting the time and place of when they first met. Or should it be the time and place of when he first asked her out? Or their first date? Or when she agreed to move in with him? God, there are way too many options to choose from. He decides to put this problem aside for now, he's not in a rush to name a song not even written yet.
As the clock on the oven changes all four numbers to display 2am, the action rouses his attention and makes him tear his eyes away from the moon and look at the numbers instead.
He would've never ever thought that he'd be like this.
Raising his glass he notices that there's only a small sip left in it, which he downs in a short moment. His tongue darts out to gather all the minuscule drops that might rest on his lips still, not wanting to waste even that much of the delicious drink. Then he stands up, placing the glass down into the sink, making a mental note to clean it in the morning before (y/n) wakes up.
Just as he ponders putting another movie on, maybe only as background noise if nothing else, his phone buzzes in the pocket of his pants. Taking his time, Charles pulls the device out, expecting nothing more than a useless notification from a social media app he shouldn't spend so much time on anyway.
Instead what he finds is a text. From her.
in a cab, be home soon <3
Charles lets out a relieved sigh, his lips involuntarily curving into a smile, one that you could almost call giddy. It's not just the thought that she's going to be here soon, but the fact that she remembered to text him to let him know. He's in her mind, just like she's in his, even though she's been out with friends, having fun, drinking, while he's only been at home, all alone with his misery.
Now he can move back to bed happily, knowing that shortly she will join him.
It truly doesn't take long until Charles hears the front door creak as it opens, then the familiar jingle of her keys hitting the drawer in the hall, and his heart flutters with happiness. Finally. The high heels she chose to wear hit the floor with a soft thud as she presumably removes them, and the growing anticipation in his body seems to eat him whole.
Her steps grow louder and louder as she moves closer to the bedroom, and time slows for Charles. He watches in slow motion as she appears in the doorframe, being propped up on his elbows to have a better view, a lazy smile curling onto his face, and his eyes lidded with drowsiness.
"You're still awake?" (y/n) giggles, pausing in her steps for a second as her eyes take in the view he provides lying there. His lack of reply to her text made her think he's already fallen asleep.
"Of course," he mumbles. "Come to bed."
His voice is whiny and he behaves like an actual child, he knows, but he can't help it. He wants to sleep, and he wants to sleep beside her, feeling her warmth against his skin. That's the only way he can.
"Let me get changed first," she starts towards the closet, when a grunt of pure displeasure sounds from him along with the thump of his back as he falls into a lying position once more, making her glance back at her boyfriend. "What, can't wait a single minute?"
"No," he protests, pouting . "I've been waiting for hours."
His accent comes forth stronger when he's sleepy, and she can't help but smile adoringly upon hearing it. He's just so cute.
"Okay, fine, you'll get one kiss," she gives in. Charles resembles a lost puppy and she's sure he knows that's her weakness. She can't ever say no to anything when he looks like that.
So that's how she finds herself crawling into bed, trying to get as close as possible to the boy without causing damage to her dress. He grins, as much as his tired facial muscles allow, awaiting her lips touching his own. His pout becomes even more apparent, right until the moment he finally gets what he wants. His goodnight kiss. It's soft, slow and just so full of love it makes both their hearts flutter.
Then she caresses his cheek gently, whispering a barely audible good night, sleep tight to him, before moving back off the bed to disappear in the closet, leaving Charles to think about how he'd happily convince her again of going out if it means she'll come home to him, looking so radiant, properly buzzing with energy, eyes shining, hair messy but still looking so breathtaking. It's obvious how much it meant to her that she had this night out. He made her happy with telling her to go out with her friends, and he didn't regret it, despite all the miserable hours.
By the time she finishes her night routine and walks back into the bedroom once more, he's fast asleep, quiet snores filling the silence of the room. She bites into her bottom lip to keep in the giggle threatening to burst out, and with a heart full of adoration and a head slightly dizzy from the drinks she's had, she gets in bed beside him, snuggling up close to him, revelling in the feeling of his arms instinctively finding their way around her body even when he's sleeping.
He truly only waited for her to come home and give him a goodnight kiss to finally be able to fall asleep.
#charles leclerc#charles leclerc x reader#charles leclerc fic#charles leclerc x you#charles leclerc oneshot#charles leclerc imagine#charles leclerc fanfic#charles leclerc fluff#charles leclerc fanfiction#cl16#cl16 fic#cl16 x you#cl16 x reader#charles leclerc f1#f1#f1 fic#f1 fanfic#f1 fanfiction#f1 imagine#f1 x reader#f1 x you#f1 drabble#f1 fluff#f1 drivers#f1 fiction#formula 1#formula 1 fic#formula 1 fanfic#formula 1 fluff#formula 1 x you
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Hello! I was wondering if you could pair Simeon with the dumbification prompt for the Valentines Treat event 🥰 thank you for taking the time to read! I love your stories btw <3
hello hello!! so sorry I’m getting to your request so late! I planned on getting the valentines requests in a lot sooner but i ended up getting into a car accident and this past week was absolutely insane haha but i’m good now
but that’s besides the point! ofc you can and thank you sm! I’m so glad you enjoy my work, i hope you enjoy this, i enjoyed writing it. tbh I always love writing for simeon he’s one of my favs haha. anyway love ya! (♡ˊ͈ ꒳ ˋ͈)
Warning: NSFW (read at your own discretion) / gender neutral
“my cute little slut”
“What was that my love?” Simeon said with a smile.
No coherent response came from your lips, just moans and mewls of his name. Babbles or things here could be heard there as he made you finish for the hundredth time tonight.
Continuous tears fell from your eyes and you tried to think just how you got into this situation. However it was a bit difficult to think when Simeon’s cock was filling every inch of you.
“Shh it’s okay, don’t even try to bother with thinking love, I’ll just fuck all those thoughts out of your pretty little head.” Simeon smiled.
Though his voice did not match his pace whatsoever.
It was rough and deep, he made sure to hit all of your favorite spots and he practically knew your body like the back of his hand.
“Look at you, aw what a precious little thing for me. You’re taking me so well MC” Simeon said softly in your ear as his fingers worked at pinching and massaging your nipples. You were getting close, he could feel it.
It wasn’t that hard to not notice the way you would clench around his cock each time you came. Though he loved that about you. Your pretty little hole belonged to no one but him.
And, no one but him could make you feel this way.
No one but him could take away all your worries and leave you a dumb fucking babbling mess on his cock.
That was a luxury he alone had, and boy did he love it.
You had come to visit him early in the afternoon at Purgatory Hall. Luke and Solomon went out to buy dinner so Simeon was alone for a while.
Because of this you figured he was the best to vent to about your current troubles.
He understood from the moment he saw you that something was wrong, and when you explained to him how your week just continued to get worse he listened intently and gave the best advice he could.
However he also explained that he would be there for you in any way he could…and of course one thing led to another and next thing you knew you were naked on his bed with your face down in the pillow and your ass in the air.
Simon started out slow and steady making sure to tease you just a bit. He’d bring you close to an orgasm then stop and continue at a slow pace again.
After a good amount of time it drove you absolutely insane to the point you began squirming and begging him to just fuck your brains out.
So, ask and you shall receive.
Simeon wasn’t gentle in the slightest after you spoke. He grabbed your hips and roughly pounded into you until he was satisfied. You came at least twice before he finally finished in you.
That didn’t stop him though. After that he flipped you around on your back to face him and teased you as he continued to pound into you, filling you with his cock.
“You’re taking all of my cock in your tight hole so well, only I can make you feel this good huh love?” Simeon said with a chuckle.
You didn’t respond as he continued talking, all that left your mouth was moans of his name and how it was too much. He in turn noticed and began to slow down with each thrust until you noticed.
“-C”
“MC”
“MC are you listening to me?” Simeon asked with a teasing smirk, his voice now finally reaching you. He had been talking to you for a bit but you never responded so he finally stopped causing you to squirm and beg for him to move again.
“’m listening I swear” you cried out.
“Really what did I say then?” He chucked. His dick throbbed inside of you and you tried to move your hips for any type of friction since he refused to grant you any, but it was no use, Simeon just pinned down your hips with a smile.
When you didn’t respond he laughed and pulled completely out of you.
A whine was about to leave your mouth again as you were getting prepared to beg, but his cock returned inside you in less than a minute causing a gasp to leave your mouth instead; your back arched and your hips buckled into him as you came just from how deep and harsh he entered.
“You’re just a dumb little slut for my cock aren’t you?”
His words had you tightening around his dick in an instant. Out of everyone in the Devildom you never expected an angle to say something that dirty to you. It shocked you but you loved every moment of it, he could tell.
“Uh huh” you cried as you gripped the sheets beneath you.
“Who’s the only one who can make you feel this good?” He said, followed by another hard thrust.
“You” you cried softly.
“I can’t hear you love”
“You- AH…!”
Before you could even string together a sentence he made you come again. Fresh tears left your eyes as he rode you through your orgasm straight into another one.
“Don’t stress with anything else for today my love, just let me fuck you till all you can think about is me and me alone” Simeon said as another orgasm ripped through your body.
You didn’t bother answering him, besides you couldn’t even really understand what he was saying. Your mind went blank as he continued fucking you and even going so far as to whisper a few praises and a few degrading comments with each thrust.
Orgasm after orgasm he had you remember just who’s cock you were coming on.
After all his name should be the only thing you remember in that fucked out little head of yours.
#obey me#obey me shall we date#omswd#obey me smut#obey me simeon#obey me simeon x reader#obey me simeon smut#rashomonss sweet valentines treat
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I HAD THIS IDEA WHILE LISTENING TO "SAVAGE" im going back to my gacha phase
there's this one lyric
"Give me a reason to stay"
So sumeru boys getting into a fight w their s/o and they don't give her a chance to intervene and inform them that she had to move away from sumeru (for work or anything)
İ need angst
After that they don't talk for a few days and boom
They feel bad and decide's apologize their s/o only to find her home empty and catch her getting ready to leave sumeru that day! Wowie
Also grim reaper xiao is lookin fine 🤭
-💤
AHH that's so sad!! I love it!! Apologies for not answering sooner!! Thank you for your request and I hope you enjoy! <3
Why thankyou~
─⊰⊹ฺ🎃𝔾𝕖𝕟𝕤𝕙𝕚𝕟 ℍ𝕖𝕒𝕕𝕔𝕒𝕟𝕠𝕟𝕤⊰⊹ฺ🎃
{༻~Give me a reason to stay~༺}
CW: Angsty! Mentions of a past fight, characters beg you to stay, reader leaves anyway!
(Includes: Tighnari, Alhaitham, Kaveh, Wanderer, and Cyno!)
♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
𑁍༄Tighnari:
"I don't want to yell anymore!"
Tighnari covered his ears, his voice like a earthquake in his own head...and that look on your face, a horrid memory of the fight you had, he still didn't know what you were trying to tell him and now it has been days since you'd even said a word to him. If he had just listened...if the two of you had just talked...
"Stop..you're only beating yourself up, just go talk to them...apologize." He muttered to himself quietly, trying to find the courage to actually knock on your door after standing there for at least ten minutes...it was starting to seem like a lost cause. "Just knock...how will you ever make up other wise just kn-"
He got cut off mid sentence when the door suddenly swung open, revealing you with suitcases in your hands and your normal living room completely barren.."Tighnari? What...what are you doing here?" You looked away, unable to meet his eyes...you felt guilty for not telling him you were leaving, but he never gave you the chance..
"I-i wanted to apologize, I feel terrible about what happened...are...are you leaving? Where are you going?"
"Tighnari...I'm moving, out of Sumeru..."
"No...no wait don't move, I can apologize more, we can talk about this..."
"I..." You wanted to say something else, but your friend started calling out to you, warning you that if you didn't leave now you'd be late, "Thank you for apologizing Tighnari...I...I gotta go." He watched you hurry away and he just stood there, dumbfounded, like he'd just seen a ghost..a ghost of the relationship he held so dear to his heart...
𑁍༄Alhaitham:
Alhaitham sighed, standing in your yard with a perplexed expression...how had Kaveh actually talked him into this? He himself had no idea how to apologize...what to say to make up for the way he acted, the screaming and hurtful words...the tears that rolled down your cheeks when you stomped off...how did you fix something so emotional and serious?
He waited there for a couple more minutes, hoping to catch you walking out or getting home, but when that didn't work...he resorted to knocking. "Hello? Are...you in there? I...want to talk." He listened to your footsteps growing closer, remembering when you'd try to sneak up on him while he was reading and he'd always hear you...he just wanted things to go back the way they were..
The second you opened the door he knew the situation was far more serious than he had imagined, your things stored away in boxes...your suitcases packed, this wasn't some trip...you were leaving. "...You're moving?"
"I wanted to tell you..but we were fighting you didn't give me the chance."
"I don't want you to leave."
"It's to late Alhaitham..."
"Wait..." He tried to grab your hand...but the door closed in his face, with you on the other end trying to calm yourself...
𑁍༄Kaveh:
Kaveh held the flowers closer to his chest, knocking over and over on your door, praying that you'd open it...that you'd forgive him. He felt terrible, he couldn't eat or sleep, the only thing he could think about was your eyes..the tears that welled in them when he had raised his voice. Even flowers wouldn't be enough to fully forgive him and he knew that, but just...hearing your voice, seeing you...talking would help.
"Helloooo?" He leaned over, peeking into your window...his face going pale, all of your things... were gone? No that couldn't be right, had he gone to the wrong house somehow? He started to panick, peeking through other windows of previous residence....freaking out the neighbors, but mostly, finding that every room was the same. Any trace of you had vanished.
"Kaveh? What are you doing?"
His head snapped in your direction, his eyes lighting up at the sight of you, "You're not gone, thank gosh. I thought maybe you had moved away and I'd never see you again..."
"... Kaveh I am moving away."
"What...but why..."
"I have a business offer, to good to pass up...I was going to tell you, but everything happened and we were yelling...so I took it. I came back here to return the keys and saw everyone looking over here."
"...oh. Is there anyway I can..convince you to-"
"No Kaveh...I think...we need the time apart."
He took a step back, racking his brain for something to say...even as you walked away from him and it started to rain...he just...wanted a way to make you stay. Just a chance.
𑁍༄Wanderer:
Wanderer stood at your door, looking at it like it could jump at him any moment, he wanted to apologize, for the argument for everything but it was all just...so hard!, "Ughh! Why did I have to get into a stupid relationship, why did I have to like them...why...ugh...why do I have to love them....so much." He punched the wall, biting his lip as he knocked on your door, only for it to slowly creak open.
"Hey..I know you're probably still upset with me and I...deserve it, but I'm going to be pathetic and apologize, because...I don't want to loose...you?" He started speaking to you even though you were already gone, shocked to see the sight of your empty house. Realization hit him like a ton of bricks, "Shit."
He ran, flying over everything and anything that got in his way, he'd stop you. He would let you leave. No, he needed to apologize, to make you stay. "Wait! No wait!!" He called out to you, your eyes locking with his for just a moment...just a moment and then you got into the boat, while he stood there...
If he had a heart...it would have been broken...
𑁍༄Cyno:
For once, Cyno didn't feel like telling a joke... playing tcg, right now he just wanted to apologize, give justice where it was due. He wanted to explain his actions, he wanted you back...he wanted to be together again and stop the silence. He didn't even know how to start solving the argument, but he figured talking...would probably help, so thats how he had ended up on your doorstep, waiting patiently for you to open the door..
He knocked again...and again, but nothing. He was just about to turn around, convinced it was a lost cause, when suddenly a paper landed at his feet, his heart racing with excitement...this could be his chance to talk to you, although he want sure why you didn't just open the door instead...
He opened the letter despite that and as he read it...his heart sank,
Cyno,
I know I should just talk to you, but saying this... it would be to hard, to upsetting. Before we had started arguing, I had planned to tell you I was moving...family reasons. I'm...I'm sorry, I wish you could have had more of a warning, but as you read this I'm already making my way out the back door...
Goodbye..
He ran to the backside of the house, but you'd already left...he was alone, with nothing but a letter you'd wrote and a guilt he'd never be able to shake until he saw you again...
♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
◥(•̀￦•́)◤☪︎ ִ ࣪𖤐 ☾𖤓~Have a nice day~*.✧
#genshin impact#genshin headcanons#genshin#genshin fanfic#genshin x reader#tighnari angst#tighnari x reader#tighnari x you#tighnari headcanons#tighnari genshin#alhaitham x you#alhaitham x reader#alhaitham genshin#alhaitham angst#alhaitham headcanons#kaveh x reader#kaveh x you#genshin impact kaveh#kaveh angst#kaveh headcanons#genshin wanderer#wanderer headcanons#wanderer x reader#wanderer x you#wanderer angst#cyno x you#cyno genshin impact#cyno headcanons#cyno x reader#cyno angst
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