#anyways i feel so guilty having m*mmy issues bc i don’t trust my own perspective of things
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things do not feel Good right now <3
#i’m abt to go on a very long laundry list of reasons why i’m throwing myself a pity party#which i beg all of u to. ignore.#bc ik w/ posting on social media there is an air of. wanting to be seen.#which i will not deny! but it is much easier to yell into a void of profile pics then. be by myself or (god forbid) actually talk to someone#but like! here are all my fantasy escapist media so i can ignore how i am trying to avoid reality at all costs <3#alcohol continues to be the devil. i am so tired.#and does an adult in ur life ever say something so off-putting that u don’t even know how to interpret it#like wtf does ‘this house will all be yours anyway just make sure u take care of my pets :)’#like. i’m 90% sure that means my house will be left to me but. it was just. weird.#which tying into some other things my m*ther said tn im just like. what the fuck is happening#anyways i feel so guilty having m*mmy issues bc i don’t trust my own perspective of things#so what if im just ungrateful and a bitch? <3#also sometimes i feel too anxious to leave the house#and i am either too anxious or too low on energy to talk/talk consistently with most people i know#so that’s all fun#and i want out of here but idek if/when that will ever happen#and i am so very tired! and so very anxious! and i would like to be able to just talk abt that#and hope get the point across how it’s ruining my mental health without having to say it#and not have to hear advice that just evades the point that. when i am without any distractions i am deeply unhappy <3#i am at all times stuck in august/september and i feel like i will not let myself leave#and when it turns out that this is all pmsing and hormones i will simultaneously become worse and pretend this never happened <3#anyways. ‘im scared and i do not want to be like this’ lines that will haunt me forever#anyways. sudden downspirals that make u want to be medicated but also just sleep for a while.#i have had an uptick of sudden downspirals lately and it’s all bc i no longer have the motivation of. self-care/self-preservation.#and in the morning. i will either wake up more anxious or wake up embarrassed.#either way. i always feel like a brat complaining abt my home life or my job or my mental health etc etc etc but. alas.#i just. miss a lot of things rn. and i would like to not be like this.#i rly don’t want advice or. sympathy or anything like that. bc idek what i would say to most stuff#so instead i will bury this post with posts abt my funny little guys <3
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