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#anyway. weekend tag ramble. hi everybody
iraprince · 1 year
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brainstorming phone wallpapers/bgs as a potential patreon perk...
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bleh-bleh-blehs · 3 years
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Paps and Cafes [T.H x Reader]
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A/N- so hey I am back with my shitty fics. This is low-key based on my friend’s life and thanks to her for letting me write it down (only she knows what is the truth and what’s not). Anyways feel free to ignore:)
Summary- Is there any difference between being stressed at home than being stress at a cafe? Yes there is. You can put a show for others but in your case a certain someone came in for your aid. 
Warning- None 
Word Count- 1.6k
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Life was not easy. Not as easy as you thought it would be. No one prepared you for the taxes, rent and bills. And literally no one told you how hard doing a job can be. Your salary was nothing compared to the hard work you did; the stress you took. 
You had no fun at all. Either you were too tired to go out and have a night out with your friends or you did extra office work for a bonus. Just like now. You are sitting in an outdoor cafe doing your office’s work when you could have been enjoying this weekend by relaxing. 
Why were you here?
Because you thought that it would be a good idea. You thought that it would refresh your mind, better than stupid small aparment. But guess what it wasn’t. 
You were still stressed. The people around were either on a date or were with their friends or family. Practically radiating good vibes. You tried not to stare at them but the task in our hand almost made you cry. 
Reaching out for the file beside the plate of donut; accidentally knocking the plate over. But you were too overwhelmed to care. Tightly clutching the file, tears of frustration evident in your eyes. It was getting too much now. 
“Come on Tess. We don't eat food off the floor. I am really sorry for your donut. Do you want me to buy you a new one?” the person asked. 
Looking up you saw a man wearing sunglasses and a baseball cap with hoodie on. You simply nodded your head in a no, wiping some tears away. “It’s okay. I don’t mind at all.” you gave a weak smile. Honestly you have lost your appetite. You just eat because it is necessary. 
“Can I ask if it was a chocolate donut? The man asked. 
“No, it was a plain one.” the man took the seat in front of you, taking off his glasses. “I know that this is none of my business but are you okay?” 
“Would you believe me if i said that I am.” 
“No. I just know that you are stressed because look at your table. All this stuff is giving me a headache so…. I think you should just wrap it up to clear your mind. And I don't wanna hear any excuse. okay? ” he didn’t press the matter further. He definitely doesn’t know what is going on in your life. All he knows is that he isn’t gonna leave you like this. 
You wanted to argue but it is not like anyone is this friendly to you on a daily basis. And a little walk wouldn’t harm. 
*
“You know what you should quit that job. I mean you don’t deserve being treated like that” tom said as he took the last bite of his ice cream. You still couldn’t believe that Tom Holland,the famous and successful actor, the heartthrob of almost all of the girls was talking to you.
He listened to you rant about your almost pathetic life and even bought you your favourite ice cream. 
You were of course shocked when you realised who he was despite him telling that he is a normal person like everyone else. He also squeezed your hand to reassure you that this is not a dream; that he is actually here. 
Both of you talked about your lives, likes and dislikes, hobbies. Only the basic stuff. You told him about your low salary job, your evil boss and your not so friendly coworkers. Your love life which was near to extinction. And about your parents who desperately wanted you to get settled.
“It’s not that easy Tom. I am looking for another job but I don’t know when I will find one. At least this job pays enough for food and shelter.” you told him or more like convinced yourself. 
Silence fell between you both until Tessa whimpered. She was obviously tired from the long walk and it was getting cold and windy as the sun started to set. “I guess this is where we part.” you said softly. Praying that this moment never ends. But of course that was not gonna happen. 
“Yeah.” he gave you a soft smile. And you were sure that you were giving the heart eyes. Making a fool of yourself as usual. 
“Oww!” 
“What? What happened?” 
“I got something in my eye.” you were hopelessly trying to get whatever the hell was in your eye out. “Wait a moment. Let me see.” Tom’s large hands cup your face while you get a hold on his arms out of instinct. 
“Ow! Ow! Ow!” it felt weird as his finger touched your eyeball. “Stop moving. You are making this harder than it already is!” you stopped fidgeting instantly. 
“There you go.” Tom backed away from you as you tried to blink away the uneasy feeling. “Let’s walk you home shall we?” Tom said as he picked very tired Tessa from the ground and carried her as if she was a toddler. 
“You don’t have to.” he just smiled. “I want to.” never in million years you thought that a top notch actor will walk you to your apartment. 
“I am sorry if I am intruding but I can’t believe you are not dating somebody and you just gave up on your friends. Is your job really worth it?” he asked with genuine curiosity.
“I am single by my choice not because of my job. My last relationship didn’t end well. She cheated on me and my “friends” took her side except my coworker Andy. I have got trust issues since then.” you explained him. 
“I am so sorry” he felt guilty to make you remember your relationship again. 
“Don’t be. I did go on a date once; the guy gave me a judgy look as soon as I told him that I am a bisexual. I mean do nice people just stop existing or what?” you huffed in annoyance. 
Meanwhile Tom was trying to process everything in his brain. He was actually starting to like you and was worried that you won’t feel the same way for him since you were into girls. But he heard word ‘bisexual’ his worries vanished. There is nothing stopping him from taking you on a date. 
Tom was smiling to himself until he heard the shutter of the camera went off. That could be only one thing. 
Paparazzi
Tom spotted two people not so far from them. Tessa tried to wiggle out of Tom’s arms but he didn’t let her. “Y/N hold my arm and keep up with my pace. The paps are here.” you immediately started to look up for them.  
“No Y/N don’t look for them!” Tom whisper yelled. 
The two of you walked as fast as you could. Taking the subway to go to your house. You and Tom stood close to each other, completely aware that someone recognised Tom and snuck some pictures of you both. 
Tessa whimpered again and again; the poor baby was too uncomfortable. You scratched her head to soothe her as she laid her head on Tom’s shoulder. While Tom was giving you heart eyes. 
You sighed in relief as you reached your apartment. The whole day has been a roller coaster ride for you. Tom and Tessa followed you behind you. Tessa quickly jumped on your couch, closing her eyes, trying to get some rest. 
“Do you want something to eat or drink?” you asked Tom. “No I am fine.” Tom said as he took a seat beside Tessa. 
“I didn’t really get to enjoy that cafe though.” Tom wondered out loud. “Don’t worry, there many more cafes in the neighbourhood. You can visit them sometime.” You were walking around your apartment, trying to clean it as much as you could. It’s not like you are visited by a celebrity daily. 
“I don’t know, maybe you can show me around sometime?” you freezed at your spot. Was Tom Holland asking you on a date. You were freaking out. You are just imagining things right? 
“Do you agree with me, darling?” he smirked. How dare him to say that! “It’s alright if you don’t. I mean I totally understand if you don’t want to. I am so sorry because of the paps. I didn’t know that they would find us. I am so sorry Y/N.” he started to ramble. Becoming that adorable sweet bean instantly.
“Oh my god Tom it’s alright. Not the Paparazzi part but I am grateful that Tessa ate my donut and that relieved my stress. I really needed someone like you. I don’t know what we can do about paps, they will just give more stress. But I felt better when you were with me.” Tom gave you that million dollar smile that everybody dies on. 
“I wanna kiss you so bad right now.” he confessed. 
“What’s stopping you then.” 
“No, not before I take you on an actual date.” he grinded. “Which cafe do you want to show me first, Donut?” 
“Donut?” you asked him while trying to control your laugh. “Yes donut. What’s so wrong with donut. It’s my nickname for you.” your smile became more wide than before. 
“Then what do you want me to call you? Ice cream?” 
“Yes?” he gave you a puzzled look. Not sure if he wanted to be called ‘ice cream’. And a thought came to your mind. “You don’t have any problem with me being bisexual?” you asked him. “Why would I? I mean it's not my place to judge or have a problem with it, now is it?” you smiled at his answer, already falling hard for this man.
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page divider by @fancyxparker​
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Tagging:- @fancyxparker @musicalkeys @justanothermarvelmaniac @amorhollands @peterspideysstuff @hollanderfangirl @parkerpeter24 @parker-hollandx @captainchrisstan @whatthefuckimbisexual @liestookmyvibes @rnatasha @seutarose @adriannajackson @ethereal-beauty-p @calltothewild @parkers-gal @azaraspirit @fallinfortom @beverlyparkerr @tommysparker @veronica011sblog @canwekissforever-haz
(I have tagged some mutuals. I am sorry if you didn't wanted to be tagged.)
Send an ask to be on my taglist.
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heresathreebee · 3 years
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Brackish and Briny Waters (two)
[Ralph Lamont X Female Reader]
Summary: Settling into your new house Part 1 Masterlist Part 3
Tags: +17 | 1.7k words | just really fucking domestic stuff, one (1) bad attitude, presumptuous behavior, unprotected morning sex, more remodeling.
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AN: I kind of know where I'm going with this. The conflict will be subtle at first but it's there I promise.
The first day goes by fast and for Ralph meeting every single person on staff in this prestigious school was like trying cheeses and wines in a vineyard– fun at first but you get a stomach ache because somebody forgot to tell you not to swallow and there are just so many of them each more rich than the last. By the time he crosses the threshold to his new home, he's exhausted and annoyed. 
"I told you not to unpack without me." 
You look at him from the kitchen and shrug. "I needed stuff, baby. I already wrote a list of things to work on in this 'bare bones' house you put us up in and I was bored." 
You don't care for his attitude but offer him the covered plate anyways. "I saved you some dinner." 
All at once, Ralphie's anger melted from his face. He shuffled his tired feet across the still empty living room and pulled you into his side. The plate was warm (still warm or recently warmed up, he couldn't tell) and his stomach growled. 
"M sorry," he said, "I don't mean to be an asshole." 
You smile your forgiveness. "Long day?" 
"Yes," he hisses. "I already can't wait for the weekend." 
You chuckle. "Oh come on, it can't be that bad. Give it a chance, baby!" 
"As you wish." 
After eating, Ralph is right to sleep despite his insistence you finish packing together tonight. A part of you thinks it's the climate here– fresh sea salt air and less artificial light to disrupt the body's natural sleep patterns. You took off his shoes and empty his pockets because he was just 'resting his eyes for a moment,' then slid in right next to him. He's fine without a blanket, but you pull the back of the quilt over your rear and curl into his side. Sleep comes easier tonight than last night and you dream of wallpaper and wood smoke cologne. 
DAY THREE
The rest of the week gets easier for the both of you. You arrived on Monday and unpack the bigger furniture together by Wednesday with the help of some locals. Ralph is getting to study the lesson plan for Ms. Lewis' math class and establishing a gentle authority with his temporary students. He is still excited for the weekend, intent to help you figure out what to do with the walls of the house. 
"Has anybody come to see you at the house yet?," he asks you Thursday night. 
You pause dicing onions to think. "Besides the neighbors to the north and those Vayle boys? No." 
Ralphie raises his eyebrows and drops them, an involuntary gesture made more for himself than you. 
You put a hand on your hip. "Why?" 
Ralphie waves you off and continues mixing the meat with the spices. "Nothing. It's just everybody and their fucking moms has been asking me about you." 
"What?" This was news to you. "Why?" 
"Because they're nosy," he replies, "asking me about my whole life story and I let slip I had a wife and then they just wouldn't shut up about it." 
You swat his shoulder. "Well don't sound so depressed about it. Do you not like having a wife?" 
"No!" Ralph huffs and turns to look at you as he says, "I just hate that every single one of them bugs me about a million personal things and then I mention you and it's the only thing they can talk about now." 
Ralph turns back to stirring the pan and grumbles to himself, "might tell them to fuck off and just hoard you forever…" 
It clicks in your head at least a bit. Ralph's a born and bred city kid. In the city nobody cares who you are, what you like, or where you're from. Strangers don't want to be anything more than strangers. Their eternal social motto is 'don't waste my time' and anyone who acts differently is probably scheming something. 
You chuckle and rest your chin on his shoulder. "You're forgetting these are a different breed of people. Rich and educated socialites more over but suburban, maybe even rural. We're probably the first new thing to happen to them in decades, and communities like this don't have a 'mind your business and I'll mind mine' attitude." 
Ralphie flicks you a look but you know he knows you're right. It doesn't mean he has to like it but at least he understands it's not malicious, at least not inherently. It's out of his element, a little out of yours too, but you'll have to adapt and play by their rules if you want to stay here for a while. 
The dining room table can seat six, but your Ralphie takes a seat right next to you at a corner so he can hold your hand while you eat. Homemade tacos ease your apprehensions a bit and you go over the remodeling plans with him until midnight. Getting ready to sleep, you wear your thinnest shift and wrap around him like an octopus, your warm core brushing over his barely clothed manhood in temptation. 
Ralphie hums, tucking a stray hair back into your bonnet. "We need to get up early tomorrow." 
It's a weak protest. The two of you keep rocking into each other and sighing at the feeling of friction but eventually fall asleep despite the delightful buzz of sexual energy surrounding you. You do wake up when Ralph flips you under him and sucks a few marks into your neck.
You spread your legs to accommodate his breadth, feeling him settle deliciously and glancing at the bedside clock. It's barely 5 o' clock and the sun is rising. You gasp as you feel Ralphie's cock slide into you and he's met with little resistance. You two have sex for the first time since you moved and it's been so long that the affair is short lived. 
Ralph already has an apology on his lips but you shush him and come a moment later with your fingers brushing your clit in tandem. He peppers you with a dozen more kisses as silent promises to make it up to you. 
You shower together, barely bumping elbows as this bathroom is way bigger than your New York City apartment ever was. You chat idly about the weekend and the town and when you're ready to leave, you grab the manila folder where you store the plans for the remodel. You've even got samples from the wallpaper, only taking the ones you like and want to replace. 
"I know we probably won't find exact replicas but I want to at least find something similar." 
Ralph squeezes your thigh. "Ok, ok. We'll try." 
While this town doesn't have a McDonald's (the town over does and it's fancy for some reason), it does have a Home Depot (also pretty fancy). You know you'll need wood and screws and glass panes to finish that solar room but that's not the goal for today. 
Ralph skips right over the green paint swatch section to the creams. He's rambling about paint brand pros and cons, he did his research on the way in since you were driving and he brought the book from the school library. You follow and half listen. 
"What?" 
Ralph finally catches on to your soft smile. You glance around to make sure no one is in earshot because god forbid these gossipers over hear your conversation right now. 
"I guess I got you pretty excited last night, huh," you say with a sense of pride. Ralph feels the opposite about his performance this morning. 
"I just… I think it's just been a while." He occupies his hands by grabbing every single free swatch sample on the shelf and says, "I promise I will make it up to you." 
You roll your eyes in a not unkind way. "It's fine, babe, really. I uh… it feels kind of good to know I still have that kind of effect on you…" 
Ralphie sports a smile of his own and puts you under his arm. "Of course you do, sugar." 
He leans down to plant a kiss on your lips when you're interrupted by a bright voice. It's so startling that your husband bounces away from you. He stares wide eyed at the woman who interrupted you and he gets that dark look in his eye that only you can see. 
"Jesus, Julie," he tries his best not to growl her name. "This is Julie, she's a teacher at the school. Julie this… is… my wife." 
Julie makes a noise like a whistle. "Oh my god you are so much more beautiful than I imagined! Ralph doesn't have a picture of you in his office!" 
"It's on my desk," he huffs, "it's the one turned towards me." 
"And why would you do that?" 
"...so I can look at it while I work…?" 
Julie's… a little too hands on for just meeting you. You're too reserved to say something about it so you sling a loose arm around her back and hope Ralph doesn't say something for you. 
"Hi Julie, it's nice to finally meet you," you tell her. "Ralph's been slowly but surely introducing me to the concept of his coworkers." 
"I can't believe we haven't met before now! Ralph keeping you all to himself, me and the other teachers are just so curious about you," she coos. It feels almost put on, like overindulging in sweet to play up her first impression. You let it slide though, maybe it's just your city lens. 
"Well, uh, once we've got the house fixed up a bit, we can plan a housewarming party," you suggest. "But not a day before and you may quote me on that, miss!" 
Julie laughed and gave you her phone number 'in case you need anything at all.' Ralph breathed easy once she finally left and you tug his ear gently. "She's veeerry friendly." 
Ralphie shoots you a glare like you'd made a joke he didn't find funny and you go back to debating the paint to use for your walls eagerly.
@escape-your-grape @hoodoo12 @softbeej @go-commander-kim @beetlesstuff @imma-fucking-nerd​ @werwulfy​
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amandagaelic · 4 years
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Fanfic Tag (bc, Sunday)
I was tagged by @waitingforthestarstofall and @disappearinginq who are two of my favorite enablers over here. And according to at least one of them, there are no rules in this game, which means my replying many moons later is all good (right?). 
Questions:
Ao3 Name: gaelicspirit (same on FF.net)
Fandoms: Supernatural, The Young Riders, White Collar, Hawaii Five-0, Sons of Anarchy (all only on FF.net), The Musketeers, Daredevil, Teen Wolf, Timeless, MacGyver, Magnum, P.I. (on both Ao3 and FF.net)
Number of fics: 75 (+ 1 WIP)
1. Fic you spent the most time on: From Yesterday
2. Fic you spent the least time on: Raincheck
3. Longest Fic:  From Yesterday   (286,050 words)
4. Shortest Fic: Sacrifice (2,315 words)
5. Most hits: Devil to Pay (on Ao3...no clue on FF.net)
6. Most kudos: Devil’s Own (huh, I’ve never compared these stats before...maybe I should write more Daredevil)
7. Most comment threads:  Devil’s Own (on Ao3), Ramble On (on FF.net)
8. Fave Fic you wrote: This is a toughie. I love them all when I’m writing them...I think maybe it’s a 3-way tie between War Scars, From Yesterday, and Conairt. The first two were as AU as I generally get (I’ve a tendency to be a bit canon-bound) and that was fun to explore possibilities with those characters, and the 3rd was basically the story I wanted to read but couldn’t find anywhere...so I wrote it myself. 
9. Fic you want to rewrite/expand on: Hmmm. I don’t know that I’d actually rewrite any of them. They exist in my mind the moment they’re being created and then once out there in the world for all to see, that’s who they are, scars and all. I have occasionally thought about expanding on my White Collar story, Fortunate Son to explore what happened next. Though, now that the show has ended, it would be 100% AU. I guess anything I would really want to take further would be a new story in and of itself, so it wouldn’t really count as “expanding” on it. 
10. Share a bit of your WIP or share a story idea that you’re planning:
I started another MacGyver fic last weekend called “Hello to the Night.” I’m about 25K-ish words into it and still playing it out. It’s a bit of pandemic therapy for me, to be honest. It’s really hard to get out of my own head these days, it seems.  Premise: Set  around S4 episodes 9 and 10. Turns out emotional trauma + concussions + experimental drugs don’t mix quite as easily as one might think. Mac’s dark side does more than toss him a creepy grin from the other side of a window when getting “lost in his head” is taken up a notch.
Excerpt:
Another streak of light cut like a white-hot tracer bullet across the darkest part of the sky.
“You out here making wishes on shooting stars?” Bozer asked, tapping the back of his fingers into the palm of his opposite hand.
It caught his attention then that Mac was clad only in a T-shirt and shorts; it almost looked like they were the clothes he’d gone to sleep in, not grabbed for a planned midnight run.
“These aren’t stars,” Mac corrected him, his voice sounding strangely detached from the moment. “That light is caused by dust and rock falling through the atmosphere and burning up—happens when the Earth passes through a trail of debris left by a comet as it orbits the Sun.”
Bozer felt his mouth tug up in a reflexive grin. “Is that right?”
“My dad gave me my first telescope when I was eight,” Mac continued in the same, oddly modulated tone, as if he were speaking in a dream. “Showed me how to find the constellations, track comets. I took it apart one day and he wouldn’t help me put it back together again. Said I obviously needed to know how it worked, so I should figure it out.”
Bozer remembered that telescope. He remembered James MacGyver’s stern face as Mac worked to rebuild it from the collection of parts scattered around them in piles organized by size and use. He remembered fearing that face.
“I did, too. Figure it out.”
“Yeah, I know, man,” Bozer smiled, watching Mac watch the starts. He frowned a little when he saw a hard shiver chase its way through Mac’s slim frame, though the blond man didn’t seem to notice.
“It’s like they were mine, y’know?”
Bozer’s frown deepened. “What—”
“And for a little bit there, it felt like he gave them to me,” Mac continued as though Bozer hadn’t spoken. “Like the whole universe was mine because he let me see it. But…,” Mac shook his head, his eyes distant as they tracked down from the sky and skimmed the horizon in front of them. “Then he took them away. He took them with him when he left. And I can’t figure out how to get them back. I keep trying, but…they’re just…,” he looked back up at the night sky, “they’re so far away.”
Bozer reached out and rested his fingertips on Mac’s bare arm, flinching back a little when he felt how chilled his friend’s skin was. He couldn’t see it before, but with that touch he realized Mac was shivering consistently now.
“Hey, Mac, you okay, man?”
Mac blinked, looking down at Bozer’s fingers on his arm, then frowned. He glanced around him slowly, tracking over to his left until their eyes met.
“Bozer?”
“Yeah?”
“What…what are you doing here?”
Bozer blinked, his eyebrows climbing his forehead. He tightened his grip on Mac, wrapping his fingers around his friend’s forearm until he felt the other man’s shivers through the bones of his hand.
“I was looking for you,” Bozer said truthfully, trying to keep the worry from his voice as he watched Mac look around him, over his shoulder to where the Griffith’s domed building loomed in the shadows, then back across the dark horizon to the lights of Los Angeles. “You decide to go for a midnight run or something?”
Mac swallowed hard, reaching up with a trembling hand to rub at his forehead. Bozer recalled his tired voice claiming his headache had a headache earlier that day—no, last night—in the lab. He dropped his hand and looked around again and Bozer realized what he was seeing was a growing awareness and recognition—and it frightened him.
“What the hell are we doing out here?” Mac asked, his voice sounding thin, baffled.
“Mac,” Bozer gripped his arm tighter. “I found you out here.”
Mac looked at him, blue eyes cloudy with confusion. “What?”
“I found you, man.”
Mac darted his tongue out, wetting dry lips, his shivering increasing until Bozer saw his teeth start to chatter.
“I don’t…I don’t remember…,” he shook his head. “I don’t remember leaving the house.”
Bozer folded his lower lip against his teeth, biting it to keep whatever noise that wanted to escape a prisoner. “Well, how ‘bout we head back there now?”
Mac nodded shakily and moved to slide off the fence. Bozer saw in a split second the ground was too far below him for Mac to land safely. He thrust out his arm and braced his friend, swinging his leg back over the fence to the paved walkway and pulling Mac backwards with him. Mac scrambled to find his footing, standing on trembling legs as he gripped Bozer’s shoulders.
“Holy shit,” Mac took a stuttering breath as if he’d forgotten that was what his lungs were supposed to do, straightening slowly. “How the hell did I…?”
Bozer shook his head. “How about we don’t worry about that right now, huh?”
Mac nodded, his eyes still on the drop-off on the other side of the fence.
“C’mon, man,” Bozer turned Mac toward the parking lot, keeping one hand on his friend’s arm, the other on his lower back. “It’s late and I’m cold.” He wasn’t, but it was always easier to get Mac to act if he was doing so on behalf of someone else.
“Yeah,” Mac nodded. “Yeah, sure, of course. Boze, I’m—”
“Don’t,” Bozer pushed him gently forward. “Don’t worry about it, man. Yesterday was weird for everybody.”
“Yesterday?” Mac asked, the word tripping out on a faltering breath as his shivers increased.
Bozer pressed his fingertips harder into Mac’s lower back, feeling the corded muscles there tighten against the pressure. “Yeah, y’know…crazy DARPA drug, Tesla weapon….”
“That was yesterday?” Mac asked, blinking owlishly at him.
“Time flies when you’re trippin’, man.”
Mac didn’t reply and didn’t resist as Bozer continued to guide him toward the parking lot. He stumbled over his own feet—any coltish grace that once guided him having vacated in the wake of whatever this was. Bozer steadied him, noting that while Mac didn’t quite lean into him, he needed the support.
“Easy, man,” Bozer wrapped an arm around Mac’s slim waist, pulling him flush against his side. “You’re moving like me after a night of whiskey.”
“That…doesn’t sound good,” Mac returned in the same spacey, confused tone. “You make some pretty bad choices ‘cause of whiskey.”
As they reached the car, Bozer shifted his hip to keep Mac propped up, pulling the passenger door open and maneuvering his friend into the seat.
“Yeah, well,” he reached across Mac’s shivering form to fasten his seat belt, “in whiskey’s defense, I’ve also made some pretty questionable choices completely sober.”
Mac huffed a semi-amused chuckle, his head dropping back against the seat. Bozer jogged around the back of the car to climb behind the wheel.
“Let’s crank that heat up, how ‘bout—” Bozer stopped as he glanced over and saw Mac had quite literally passed out, head tilted against the window.
His hands lay lax in his lap, fingers curled toward his palms, the left one twitching in what looked like an attempt to reach out, but not quite getting there.
“Jesus, Mac,” Bozer breathed, turning up the heat anyway as his friend shivered even in his sleep. He shrugged out of his hoodie, draping it over Mac’s bare arms and t-shirt covered torso.
Tagging: Okay, if you’ve already been tagged--or literally have no interest in this--feel free to ignore. This is a bit of a free-for-all here. @thethistlegirl @impossiblepluto @flowing-river24 @panchostokes @nativestarwrites @beamirang @21forestglades @blazeofobscurity @angus-mac-intosh @purplecolouredglasses @writtenbyblair @dashboardonfire @bands-space-and-monsters-oh-my @macgyverfever @thekristen999
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astras-world · 5 years
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Rich kid! Peter Stark Au
Warning: Smut, swearing, jewelry fetish (?), dom! Peter parker slight bdsm (bondage) orgasm denial, over stimulation, bullying
Requested: No. Please do send in requests.
Pairing: Peter Stark x Reader
Summary: Peter gets fed up with the bullying then reveals a fantasy.
(Also why is this scene so hot? Like??? It's illegal to look hot that much okay Tom?)
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Peter would never be one to show off his wealth, he was humble, a trait his father was proud of yet confused by.
All his life Peter had every thing he could ever want and need and Tony made sure he was well loved as well and yet Peter didn't like showing off or even making it known that he was rich but there would be times when Tony knew the Kid felt a little more confident than other days it usually happens when something good happens like when the two of you started dating, the next day Peter wore a limited editon Gucci jacket he was aware of the stares and he loved it.
Peter usually doesn't splurge but whenever he gets the chance to give you something he would always go all out.
His first gift to you was 3 months after you started dating, he'd gotten you a diamond ring and you stared at him in shock
'Peter, I love you with all my heart but I really don't think we're ready for that" you say nervously
"What?" He looks at you confused then looks at the ring again and realization dawns on his face and he laughs
"oh baby, I'm not proposing" he chuckles slipping the ring on your ring finger
"Not yet at least. This is a promise ring" He smiles at you.
"A promise ring? Peter this must have cost you millions how much even is this?" you were scared to even find out the numbers behind the expensive ring sitting on your finger
"Babe, don't worry about it, this is nothing. I only want the best for my girl." He smiles at you and as much as you want to melt right there you were still concerned about him spending so much money on you.
"Baby, really it's no problem, please just accept it?"
After that the gifts seem to only go up in price from dresses to shoes and bags and the only time he gave you a gift that was below thousands of dollars was a photo album that he put together of his favorite pictures of you since he loved to take pictures and he made a scrapbook out of it and gifted it to you on your birthday.
Today was one of the days when Peter felt a little confident, you knew because he used his favorite Balenciaga shoes and you can smell his favorite Valentino fragrance on him. He greeted you with a kiss as he walked up to you a smile never leaving his face
"Well hello sunshine, what's got you in such a good mood?" You greeted smiling widely at him
"Nothing, I just finally finished the project I was working on down at the lab" He answers smiling even wider than earlier
He always felt a little more confident whenever he finishes a project, he feels accomplished and thus trigger his 'Stark!' side.
"Well congratulations, tiger. I'm very happy for you." you said smiling brightly at him
He takes your hand in his and your knuckles before walking you to your class. He waves as you go in and heads to his class
You meet again later at lunch where you eat with him, ned and mj at your usual spot. You were all discussing plans of going to Peter's place for a movie night in the coming weekend when Flash walks up to your table
"Sup Penis?" He says with a smirk
"What do you want, Flash?" Peter replies flatly
"Well I just wanted to say hello to lovely (y/n) over here" He says eyeing you.
"Well you've said it, can you go now?" You ask sharply
"No need to get riled up princess, hey give me a call when Penis over here can't satisfy you anymore" He says teasingly
"No thanks, I'm sure a chipmunk could satisfy me better that you can ever satisfy any girl on this planet' You smiled fakely
"What the fuck did you sa-" Flash grabs your arm and Peter immediately grabs his arm and twists it
"Grab my girl again and you won't have an arm next time" Peter says darkly
"Whatever, Penis. Everybody knows your 'Balenciaga' shoes are fake anyway." Flash pulls his arm away and huffs in irritaion
"You mean like all your 'designer clothes?" Peter fires back quickly. "impressive though maybe next time cut off the tag that says poshmark, yeah?" He says with a hint of amusement
Flash gets flustered by the remark and stomps away.
"God, when will he ever leave us alone?" you say rolling your eyes.
You continue the rest of the day without any more interruptions but Peter seems a little off ever since the encounter in the cafeteria so you when you get to his place like you usually do you decide to drag him up his room and confront him
"okay what's up?" you ask as you lock the door to his room and sit down next to him on his bed
"it's nothing babe, just tired" he smiles a forced smile at you and he knew you weren't convinced.
"Peter? Honest answer?" You ask once again raising your eyebrows at him
"I just... thought about what Flash said earlier." he admits
"Which one?" you ask
"The one where I uhm- don't satisfy you" He answers slowly and his face flushed of embarrassment his eyes not meeting yours as he was obviously shy about the subject.
Peter was always shy around talking about sex but he listened to what you said you liked and tried to implement it to your sex life as much as he could, he never really told you any fantasies or fetishes and kinks. He was incredibly shy when during your first time but he was amazing.
"Aw baby," you laugh at him amused making his face flushed more "you've done nothing but satisfy me both on and off the bed, okay? You always do." you say sincerely cupping his face with your hand and making him look up at you.
"What I'm more worried about is if I'm satisfying you" you say
"What? Of course you do, baby." He says looking up at you confused
"Well you never really tell me what you like, what turns you on and such" you say shrugging
"Well, you turn me on baby, everything you do turns me on" He says holding your face and swiping gently on your cheek.
"So no fetishes, kinks, fantasies?" you ask
"Well.." he leads on
"so there is! Mr. Peter Stark has a kink!" you chuckle throwing your hands up in success "What is it babe?" you ask smiling
"it's weird really, it's fine if we don't do it, it's okay, we don't have to" Peter rambles.
"Baby, it's fine. tell me please?" you say pouting.
"fine its uh- umh- it's more of a fantasy I guess?" he stutters as he starts and you hum telling him to continue
"uhm I wanna fuck you while you're wearing diamonds and heels and nothing else." he says shyly expecting you to reject the idea
This shocks you a bit but then you remember all the times he's given you diamond accessories and how happy he was but also nervous when you wear them, it turned him on seeing you wear expensive things he buys you.
"uhm- well I don't exactly have your gifts on me right now?" you say still a little shocked.
"wait, your want to do it?" he asks surprised
"well yeah, it actually sounds really hot amd I'd love to do it with you but i don't have your gifts on me right now." you say
"uhm- well there's an uhm box in my closet filled with those kind of things if you really want?" he says nervously, your breath hitches
"you keep a box full of diamonds in case i agree with your fantasy?" you ask
"Well, kinda? I was planning on giving you those things anyway but uhm you found out" he says swallowing nervously.
"okay, let me get changed and-" you start but Peter cuts you off, "actually uhm, can I- can I do it?" Peter asks shyly a tone of hopefulness in his voice
"do what?" you ask confused
"Can I uhm- put it on you?" he requests his face heating up and you can't help but smile at how cute he looks
"okay babe, do what you want with me" you say smiling and stand up.
Peter starts to undress you as soon as he hears your approval his hands fumbling with your shirt, you lift your hands to let him take it off revealing your belly button peircing. Next was your pants, he unbuttones your jeans and slides the zipper down he slips it off your body leaving your underwear, he takes off your bra next leaving you practically naked. He steps back and stares at you
"you look beautiful baby." he leans in and kisses you on the lips "I'll get the things go sit on the bed" he says and goes to his walk in closet,
he's gone for a couple of minutes before returning with a big box he opens it and everything sparkles in your eyes. Every piece looks amazingly beautiful and crazy expensive. He reaches for the shoes first.
He kneels in front of you and slips the heels on your feet leaving kisses as he does next he pulled out two thick diamond bracelets and clasps it around both of your wrists followed by several thin diamond rings slipping them through your fingers he kisses the back of your hand after. He pulls out a thick diamond chocker and kisses your neck before clasping it around your neck and then the final piece is a diamond chain bra, it covers nothing but it's surprisingly more comfortable than you thought it would be.
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He steps back to look at his handy work he gulps visibly "fuck baby girl, you look better than I thought you would." he says breathless
You feel shy all of a sudden, you weren't used to having billions of dollars in your body but you certainly loved Peter's reaction to it.
"Go lie down baby girl" Peter instructs and you comply you lie down flatly in the bed looking at the mirror on the top of his bedroom and you see how sexy you look with all of Peter's jewels on and you gasp slightly at the sight.
Peter notices your reaction. "You look perfect don't you, baby?" you look back at him and he's putting on his web shooters "Why are you wearing those? You asked him confused
"you'll find out soon, love" he smiles gently at you. "Karen, do not disturb protocol, please" He orderes to the AI
"Do not disturb protocol enabled." Karen replies
Peter walks up to you and lies on top of you using his arms to lift him up away from your face so he doesn't crush you. He then kisses you hungrily you kiss him back with the same force, one of his hands go down between you two and plays with your clit through the fabric of your underwear.
You gasp lightly at the contact. He stops kissing you and put your hands up above your head and shoots webs making your hand stick to the head board
"As much as I love your hands, I wanna be in control tonight love" He says lust clear in his eyes, be takes off your underwear and he kisses you again an continues to play with you clit
"So wet, love" Peter comments pulling away from your lips
"All for you" you sigh as the pressure inside you builds up as he plays with you. He pulls away from your lips and licks one thing of your nipples that were sticking out from the bra, he pushes a single digit inside you and you arch your back in pleasure
"Baby please," you whine wanting more than his fingers. "Be patient, love" He replies pushing another digit in and curling his fingers in a 'come here' motion you gasp in delight as he finger fucks you and you feel yourself so close to your orgasm
"Baby, I'm close fuck" you pant and he pulls his fingers out in an instant "Peter, what?" you asked him in outrage, Peter never denied you of your orgasm cause he loves the face you make when you do. He stands up and slips a sleeping mask over your eyes and slips your underwear back on.
He simply smiles at you and stands up "I think that's enough for now, baby" he says walking towards his bathroom
"What?? Peter you can't be serious? At least get me out of here! I swear to god Peter Stark if you leave me like this you're not allowed to touch me for the rest of the year!" you shout at him as he enters the bathroom
He looks back at you and smiles "I'll take my chances, love" he winks and closes the door. You let out a frustrated growl cause you can't even touch yourself and as much as you pull at your wrist, the web won't come off.
You silently curse Peter in your head while glaring at the bathroom door when you suddenly feel vibrations coming from your underwear then you hear the shower start to run.
"Peter Stark, you little shit" you mutter unbelievably. You feel the intensity increasing and you can't help but whimper helplessly.
Within minutes you're trembling from the violent orgasm that hit you and you had an inkling feeling that it wouldn't be you're last
By the time that you heard Peter got out of the bathroom you were a whimpering mess after your third orgasm tears were streaming down your face
"Peter, please" you begged. Peter lifted the sleeping mask off your face and immediately an apoligetic look us written all over his face "shh baby, I got you. I'm sorry, love." He apologized over and over as he slipped the underwear off you and desolved the web in your arms
"I'm sorry baby," he says holding you close to him "I took it too far, I'm sorry, baby" he whispered
"hey, it's okay, Peter. I like this side of you" You explain your voice soft
"but I took it too far" He whispers in your ear
"I could've asked you to stop it, I liked it, Peter. But I'd like it better if you'd fuck me." you say against his neck
"you sure, babe?" He asked, a concerned look on his face
"Please, Peter. I need to feel you inside me" you beg quietly
And just like that a fire sparked in his eyes spreading your legs apart and before you could process it, Peter is thrusting himself inside you. You moan out loud and arch your back from the sudden pleasure spreading throughout your body, you hear him silently curse and he began slowly thrusting in and out of you
The slow pace was familiar to the both of you and while you usually didn't mind it you need more of him
"Faster, Peter" you whimper between moans. Peter obeyed your requests and quickened the pace, your head hitting against his headboard and left you a moaning mess, scratching his back.
One of his hands went to your clit, increasing the pleasure you've been feeling nearly sending you over the edge
"Fuck Peter, I'm coming" you moan "Hold it for me, baby" he says breathlessly his thrusts becoming sloppy
"Baby, please I need to cum, please let me cum" you whine against his skin "wait for me baby" he commands softly continuing to drive you insane till he feels himself coming close
"okay, love cum for me" as if on queue, you tremble against him as he thrusts into you riding out your high and he comes inside you filling you to the brim.
He lies down panting beside you, holding you close to him and kissing your forehead.
"Thank you, baby." he mutters against your head. You look up to him confusion on your face "What for, bub?" you ask him
"For letting me do this with you." he kisses you in the lips. You hum in approval
"it's nothing, baby. I enjoyed it. Didn't know you had this side of you though" you chuckle against his lips and sending him a wink
"Well I couldn't let you have all the fun, now can I princess?" He laughs.
"Fair point" you smile to him
"Let me take care of you, princess he says standing up and removing the jewelry from your body and picking you up towards the bathroom.
Safe to say that wasn't the last time that you saw that side of Peter Stark
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sirsapling · 4 years
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MORE TAGGED POSTS
I got tagged in a bunch more things I didn't respond to fast enough, so UNDER THE CUT THEY GO. 
I have too many things to respond to, so I won't be tagging, but consider yourself tagged if you want to do any.
IT’S THE LITTLE THINGS
Tagged by the wonderful @bardingbeedle​
Pass the happy!🌻🌿 When you receive this, list 5 things that make you happy and send this to 10 of the last people in your notifications!
Lying in warm blankets in an cold room. Bonus points for snow outside.
A fresh Buzz cut
Talking to @bardingbeedle​
Having long, passionate rambles about the Marvel Ultimates
Hashbrowns, bacon, maple syrup, maybe a pancake, and a sausage too.
Tagged by the chaotic @s-hylor​
top 3 cities you want to visit: Toronto, again. Colorado (I know its a state not a city I just want to visit ashes AND GET SNOW). And I would like to go back to Italy again. (I also want to visit, just, all of my fandom friends but I don't want to drop all their locations lol)
favorite marvel character: Ults!Steve Rogers and then Ults!Tony Stark. Not counting stony, Anthony the brain tumor, and not counting clones, Gregory Stark.
white chocolate - yay or nay?: Love it, love it, love it.
favourite board game: God Save The Queens- A board game about Bees I invented with 3 other people at University last year for a project.
how many countries have you been to: 10, I have been very luckily graced with the ability to travel to Europe with school a lot.
(Wales, France, Belgium, Germany, Switzerland, America [Florida, Boston, New York], Spain, Portugal, Italy, and finally Canada.)
favorite thing to do on a rainy day: Anything indoors I might usually feel guilty about doing when its sunny. Tv or games particularly
favorite holiday: Christmas. I am a Christmas slut, call me festive sapling I LOVE Christmas.
pen or pencil: Pen. I once bought 7 in lisbon at the same time bc they were perfect and I didn't want to run out.
favourite kind of soup: Cupasoup Chicken noodle, I don't really like soups tbh, I like broths, and gravy type things I make too much of and eat like a soup (like golden Currys or korma sauces)
your typical order at a cafe or coffee shop: Caramel Frappucino or an iced Mocha. If I'm gonna pay a fuck tonne for coffee I'm gonna get a drinkable dessert.
favorite ride at an amusement park: Any slow rides that show you shit, like spaceship earth at EPCOT. I’m not really a speed dude.
the color of your sneakers: RED, red shoes are the shit folks, a good pair of red converse goes with everything.
favorite pbs show (or little kids show if you didn’t have pbs):  Uh I used to watch pokemon then winnie the pooh every single night. But little little kids show I used to watch a show called 64 zoo lane with my grandma so I have fond memories
Rules: name your favorite female characters from 10 different fandoms, then tag 10 people.
Tagged by the wonderful @ashes0909​
Natasha Romanov - Marvel Cinematic Universe
Carol Danvers - Marvel 616
Janet Van Dyne - Marvel Ultimates
Izumi Curtis - Full Metal Alchemist
Martha Jones - Doctor Who
Garnet - Steven Universe (if she doesn't count bc, space rock, Connie)
Rosa Diaz - Brooklyn 99
Ann Perkins  - Parks and Rec
Princess Caroline - Bojack Horseman
Pam Poovey - Archer
LOOK I know there was a lot of cheating here, but I don't have non marvel fandoms really, and I have a hard time remembering a lot of the TV I enjoyed.
Rules: Share your top 10 AO3 additional tags. Tagged by the mysterious @nigmuff​
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look I don't know if I have enough tags to make this a justified representation, but the ones shown are v much on brand.
Fanfic trope meme
I was tagged by the delightful @capnstars​ and @crownofstardustandbone​
slowburn or love at first sight // fake dating or !!!secret dating!!! // enemies to lovers or best friends to lovers // oh no there’s only one bed or long-distance correspondence // hurt/comfort or amnesia // fantasy au or modern au // mutual pining or domestic bliss // smut AND fluff // canon-compliant or fix-it  // reincarnation or character death // one-shot or multi-chapter // kid fic or road trip fic // arranged marriage or accidental marriage // high school romance or !!!!middle-aged romance!!! // time travel or isolated together // neighbours or roommates  // sci-fi or magic au // body swap or genderbend  // angst or crack // apocalyptic or mundane
Look guys, I’m boring. I like domestic 30-40 year olds in secret relationships. We knew this.
And now buckle the fuck down folks because I'm about to answer 50 questions about me no one is gonna stick around and read.
tagged by @bardingbeedle​ the only person who would put up with reading this much about me.
What is the colour of your hairbrush?
I have a buzz cut, I don't have a hair brush anymore.
Are you typically too warm or too cold?
Too warm. I have been warmer than most people my whole life, and I often need to sleep with a fan on.
What were you doing 45 minutes ago?
Working on a sketch for an MTH fill (update from the end of this: I have spent an hour doing this fuckin thing)
What is your favourite candy bar?
Bounty. My favourite candy is Reese’s Pieces but I like a bounty. Or like, and chocolate without fruit in it tbh.
Have you ever been to a professional sports event?
Yes, one of my parents referees Championship Football here in the UK. I have been to a few of his games. I also went to the London 2012 Paralympic closing ceremony, if that counts.
What is the last thing you said out loud?
‘Oh, this will last me a few days’ I was talking to my mother about 1/2 a can of pringles, I was lying.
What is your favourite ice cream?
Vanilla. I am boring. But the best ice cream i’ve had was a cream/milk flavoured gelato in Florence, that shit slapped. I also like cheap strawberry ice cream when no one is trying to put strawberry bits in it.
What was the last thing you had to drink?
Dinner. A spinach, banana, summer fruits and coconut yoghurt smoothie (with extra raspberries). Its my nightly dinner to cheat more veg into my body.
Do you like your wallet?
Very much. It’s about 7-8 years old, it is faded to hell but it has spiderman and a pony ride stony pin
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What was the last thing you ate?
See above smoothie comment, but if that doesn't count, a sugar free mint polo.
Did you buy any new clothes last weekend?
Nope. I don't buy as many clothes as I want to, bc mens clothes in larger sizes are hard to find or expensive here.
The last sporting event you watched?
F1, I don't keep up but I watch a little with my dad every now and then.
What is your favourite flavour of popcorn?
BUTTER. They don't really have it here, and I don't go to movies much when in the states. But @festiveferret​ introduced me to it when we saw Ant-man and the Wasp, and much like poutine and Tim Hortons, I still crave it.
Who is the last person you sent a text message to?
My dad. 
Ever go camping?
Yes, I was a Scout. I have done enough camping to not want to do more, it was fun when I wasn't organising it.
Do you take vitamins?
Yes, but not as often as I should, and as much as my mother bothers me too.
Do you go to church every Sunday?
Nope, not even when I considered myself christian. I go only go to church for other peoples events, and I’m an agnostic now.
Do you have a tan?
I cannot tan. I just can't, I burn lobster red in 5 minutes outside without literal sun cream for BABIES
Do you prefer Chinese food or pizza?
Chinese food, It was easily what taught me to like more foods also, I don't eat tomato so I can't have most pizza. I love a good garlic base/bechamel, but you can't really get that here easily (yes yes I could make my own but that ruins half the point of pizza)
Do you drink your soda with a straw?
I don't drink carbonated drinks, because its like drinking pain. The fuck is wrong with all of you.
What colour socks do you usually wear?
Various colours, but I consider red on the left, blue on the right, my lucky socks. No I don't know why, but I take all exams and interviews wearing them. It’s just a thing.
Do you ever drive above the speed limit?
I don't drive, but if I did, No. Theres a lot of questionable laws out there but Traffic laws aren't one of them.
What terrifies you?
Pfft, most things from spiders to rollercoasters. But more seriously, Being shouted at. Shout at me and I start hyperventilating, its a thing. Also not knowing if someone is mad at me. I’m not good at reading people,
Look to your left, what do you see?
The wallet shown earlier, and the sugar free polos mentioned after that.
What chore do you hate?
Vacuuming. It makes everything in my body hurt. I would rather clean toilets.
What do you think of when you hear an Australian accent?
@s-hylor​
What’s your favourite soda?
See above. I do not like your pain liquid. Apple juice for life.
Do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive-thrus?
Either delivery or kiosk, I don't like talking to people where possible, I often need tweaks I don't want to have to remember to repeat.
Who’s the last person you talked to?
@downeyhills​
Favourite cut of beef?
I don't generally eat beef, lamb, or most red meats. I love crispy chilly beef, but as anyone can point out its bc your generally don't feel the texture of the beef.
Last song you listened to?
Everybody Wants to Rule the World | Tears for Fears | Pomplamoose
I’m on a Pomplamoose kick, and I also just love this song anyway.
Last book you read?
Understanding Comics (The invisible Art) - Scott McCloud
Favourite day of the week?
Friday nights. The weekend is ahead and @loraneldin​ and I take to wrangling our beloved usual suspects through another week of Ults Book Club.
Can you say the alphabet backwards?
I can barely say it forwards.
How do you like your coffee?
With milk and sugar, or ultimately, in a Caramel Frappuccino bc I'm a bitch like that.
Favourite pair of shoes?
I have walking boots that don't make my flat ass feet feel like they’re dying. OR my black and green crocs (Fight me, they’re useful).
The time you normally go to sleep?
9-10 is what I'm working on, but I fluctuate depending on if I'm working on something or not.
The time you normally get up?
5-6 If I have a choice in the matter, but often 7-8 if I didn't get to bed at the right time. I’m more about getting the right hours in for my diet than time specifically.
What do you prefer, sunrise or sunsets?
Sunset is the prettiest, but I like to be awake to see the sun rise.
How many blankets on your bed?
One big thick comforter, because that's the uk standard, and I get too hot otherwise.
Describe your kitchen plates
Two types, big wide white ones with a navy blue rim. They are so large I never use them, and little Navy saucer plates I use a lot.
Do you have a favourite alcoholic beverage?
I don't drink, so no. I drink apple juice or Shirley temples when I'm in pubs/bars
Do you play cards?
Sometimes, I like to teach people to play Old Maid. It’s the monopoly of card games.
What colour is your car?
Again, I do not drive. 
Can you change a tire?
I am aware I just said I don't have a car, but I do know how to change a tire. Everyone should go learn its pretty simple.
Favourite job you’ve ever had?
I have only had one job really and two job experience jobs. I did experience in a school library for a week and that was v fun and chill. I did all the jobs they had prepared for me in 2 days so I alphabetically reorganised their fiction section for the rest of the week. I LIKE ORDERING.
How did you get your biggest scar?
I no longer have a gallbladder, so I have 3 scars across my torso from that, the biggest right in the middle of my ribs. Non surgical wise I have matching scars on my knees from ripping holes in them when tripping. I have weak ankles and also I got both of those at different times.
What did you do today that made someone else happy?
I gave my spare animal crossing Iguanodon skull to a wicked artist I follow on twitter so he could complete his dino park. 
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My world ended that day- part two.
This is my contribution to @choicesfebruarychallenge The prompt is: rain. Thank you for including us all.
Paring: Drake x OC (Lily Rys)  
Word count: 8.304
Warnings: Infant loss, drinking to cope, angst, panic attack, brief talk about an eating disorder and abortion.
Song inspiration: Leave a light on by Tom Walker.
A/N: This part was especially hard to write. All characters belong to Pixelberry other than Lily.
Permatag: @desiree---1986​
Drake and lily tags: @addictedtodrakefanfic​​​​​​​​​, @msjr0119​​​​​​
My world ended that day tags: @drakeandcamilleofvaltoria​​​​ @kimmiedoo5​​​​ @cordonianroyalty​​​
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Soon Wednesday rolled round which meant Drake would  be arriving back in Cordonia with Bianca. Which meant she would be seeing her husband again, which was something she was completely and utterly dreading, that was if he wasn’t just going to avoid her, like she was considering doing to him.
Lily dressed and walked down to the dining room for breakfast. When she walked in, Regina, Liam, Riley, their three children, Leo, Katie who had arrived over the weekend and the twins since Nathan had an important case come up so he was unable to look after them and her twin sisters were both busy too, Bertrand, Savannah and Bartie were already sitting and eating their breakfast.
Leo’s full attention was on his daughter, Eva, who was talking away at him about nothing important. Katie was talking to her son, Lewis, who was talking to her about his best friend, Jack, at school.
While the rest of the adults were talking about Drake’s arrival and the funeral on Friday morning, with Leo and Katie chiming in now and again.
Liam happened to look up and caught sight of her in the doorway. She gave an awkward smile at everyone then took the empty seat beside Leo. They stayed silent, the adults anyway, as Lewis continued rambling.
Lily swallowed hard as she looked at Caitlyn, John, Harry, Bartie and the twins. Tears welled in her eyes. Lewis caught sight of the tears streaming down his aunts cheeks getting out his chair and trotting over to Lily, holding out his arms to her.
Lily gave him a sad smile and picked him up to sit in her lap wrapped his arms around her neck, Lily eagerly returning the hug. She felt Leo place his hand on her back, rubbing affectionate circles along it. She caught her brother’s eyes and gave him a smile.
“Are you okay, Aunt Lily?” Lewis asked.
“Yeah,” Lily said, wiping her face and smiling down at him. The adults all knew she was lying and that the smile was forced but the young boy didn’t.
“Why are you crying?” He asked.
“Erm…I er…I’m crying because I’m happy to see you and Eva,” she lied, “You’ve gotten so big,” She said, bouncing the young boy on her knee. Eva jumped down off her chair, Lily picked her up to join her brother on her lap.
Lily wrapped her arms around her niece and nephew tightly, crying silent tears into Eva’s long brunette hair, much like Ellie’s hair was.
“Alright you two. Come and finish your breakfast,” Katie ordered. The children hugged their aunty tightly then jumped off her lamp returning to their seats to dig back into their cereal.  
Lily wiped her eyes once again turning to face everybody else. Savannah gave her a sad smile. “Have you heard from your brother?”
Liam noted that she didn’t call him Drake, he found it odd. Maybe something had happened between them that  he did didn’t know about, he concluded.
“He’s on his way. They set off early this morning,” Savannah explained.
Lily simply nodded.
She greeted the rest of her family. Savannah, Bertrand, Bartie and Maxwell had been staying at the palace, so Sav could be closer to Drake when he got back and could do anything to help Lily in the meantime.  
Staff soon brought out Lily’s breakfast. Lily nodded a ‘thank you’ at them as they left, leaving her staring at it as everybody else continued to eat theirs. The adults engaged in meaningless conversation, everyone except Lily anyway, as the children talked amongst themselves.
Leo kept glancing at his sister. Noticing she hadn’t actually eaten any of it, only pushed it to the side to make it appear like she had. Leo caught his brother’s eye across the table, having a silent conversation with him. Leo cleared his throat and stood up.
Katie looked up at him giving him a questioning gaze, he simply just smiled at her. He picked up his plate with his half eaten breakfast with one hand, placing his other hand on his sisters shoulder, leaning down to speak into her ear.
“Come on,” he said, moving toward the door with his plate and cutlery. Lily rolled her eyes, knowing what he was doing.
She looked at everyone who all seemed otherwise occupied and weren’t looking at her. She picked up her breakfast and cup of tea following her brother out the dining room.
Leo led her to the ballroom. He placed his plate down onto a table that sat on the outskirts of the room, dragging it near into the centre, then  grabbed two chairs from a stack near the other tables placing them on either side, then plopped down into his seat.
Lily stood staring at him. He nodded to the chair. “Sit down.”
She did as she was asked. She took a sip of her tea then looked up at her brother, her brow raised. “When you were ill, what was the thing that we always did to get you to eat?” Leo asked.
“We’d go and eat away from everyone else and talk as we ate. It helped. It only being me and you and I knew that you weren’t going to judge me if I ate a lot. The only time you’d step in was if I barely ate anything. Leo, you don’t need to worry. I’m not starving myself again. I promise.”
“Good,” he nodded.
“Then why-?”
“Why drag you out the dining room?” She nodded. “Because Lily I’m the one person that can actually  get through to you. I’m worried about you, you’re not looking after yourself. I just want to talk to you. Away from everyone. What’s going on?”
Lily shrugged, “I got a text from Drake. He said he’s not sure if he wants to go on Friday.”
“Okay,” Leo nodded, taking a bite of his eggs. He nodded to Lily’s plate, telling her to do the same. Lily stabbed the yellow yolk with her fork and cut it in half with her knife, then placed it into her mouth, chewing and swallowing. “And?” Leo asked, “Have you heard from him since?”
“No,” she shook her head.
“There’s no right or wrong thing to do, Lily. Drake is going to do what he thinks is best for him. Like you’re going to do what’s best for you. Talk to him though.”
“And say what? ‘I don’t even know if I want to go myself?” she scoffed, “I know that this is fucking hard but he can’t keep running away and avoiding this. I’d like to but sooner or later we are going to have to talk about this.”
“So talk about it. Nobody is going to judge you if you don’t want to go.”
“She was my daughter, Leo. Of course people are going to judge me if I don’t go.  I’m expected to be there. I-I have to be there. I- the bloody press would have a field day if i didn’t go. It’s bad enough there’s a funeral in the first place, then because of who I am the press are going to be  all over it. Like they were when it happened.  Like they were when dad died and his funeral, then mom’s.”
“They’re dickheads. You know that. Lil, yes it’s going to be hard but if you talk to Drake, make up, he’s had time to think, time to calm down and so have you, maybe it’ll be marginally easier if you’re both their for each other. You are going to need each other. At the end of the day only you and him understand what you’re going through.”  
Lily pondered over what her brother had just said. She did need to talk to Drake, she knew that, but it wasn’t that simple. He blamed her, she blamed herself, she was scared if she did talk to him then it would just lead to another argument one that she just didn’t have the energy for.
She looked up to her brother her blue eyes meeting his. He gave her a small smile. “It’s going to be okay. I promise.”
*********
Lily paced around the living room in her quarters. Drake would be arriving back at the palace in the next half an hour. He had rung Savannah saying he was back in the country just over an hour ago.
She was scared to see him again. He was so angry the last time they saw each other, with good reason.
Lily had never been scared of Drake but she found herself being scared of him when he was yelling at her. She felt guilt over feeling like that. She knew Drake would never do anything to hurt her.
She was snapped from her daze when someone started knocking on her door. She walked on over to it, staring at it, debating whether or not to open it.
The knocking was insistent and loud. Maxwell, she concluded, sighing and opening the door.
“What?” she snapped, without entirely meaning to.
Maxwell looked slightly taken aback by her tone but shook it off nonetheless. “Drake will be back in a minute. Are you coming to greet him?”
Lily thought for a second. She couldn’t keep avoiding him, they needed to talk and that needed to happen sooner rather than later.
“Yeah,” she nodded, following Maxwell out.
*********
Lily rubbed her bare arms as the nighttime crisp air stung at them. She followed Maxwell outside to the main entrance to the palace, where Liam, Riley and Savannah already stood. The rest of the group had debated greeting him but decided against it, not wanting to overwhelm him after the long flight.
Lily stood next to her brother on the steps. He turned to look down at her. “You okay?”
She nodded.
No, she wasn’t okay. She was anything but okay but Liam didn’t need to know that. Knowing him he probably already knew anyway.
“I’m okay,” she affirmed.
“Okay,” Liam nodded, knowing his sister and that she wasn’t going to talk if she wasn’t ready and wouldn’t be forced into talking about it.
After Leo’s conversation with his sister earlier that morning, he had told Liam what was bothering her. Liam had already known about the text from Drake though. Drake had told him about not being certain whether he could attend or not.  He knew that was bothering her but that didn’t explain why Olivia was acting weird too. He could practically see steam coming out of her ears when Drake was mentioned. Olivia was Lily’s best friend, she was protective of her, but it was more than that, he was sure.
Lily’s attention was drawn from her brother to the oncoming headlights of the SUV coming up to the steps. This moment had been one she had been dreading since her husband left. It was going to be awkward, she knew that. Like Leo said, they needed to talk.
The SUV came to a stop in front of the steps. Drake’s door was thrown open and he jumped out.
Drake in marrying Lily had been given a title, he was now royal but you would never know as he never acted as if he was.
Drake looked up to the top of the steps, briefly catching Lily’s eye. He looked better than when he left. He’d shaved, had a haircut by the look of it, didn’t have dark circles beneath his eyes- he looked like he did before all of this happened.
Liam, Riley, Savannah and Maxwell walked down the steps. Savannah threw her arms around her brother, pulling him into a hug as Bianca’s door opened and she stepped out.
Savannah finished greeting her brother then turned to their mother, as the rest of the group spoke to Drake then turned their attention to Bianca, but Lily stayed fixed on the top of the steps.
He looked fine. Happy.
Lily could read that man like a book. He was either a hell of a good actor or he was over it. She felt herself getting angry. How could he come back looking like he’d just been on some kind of vacation when their daughter was dead?  They were burying her at the end of the week.
Without greeting either of them she turned back and headed inside. She felt tears prickling and stinging at her eyes, from the anger and sadness she was feeling at that moment.
She jumped when a hand clamped around her wrist, stopping her in her tracks. She’d recognise that touch from anywhere. Drake.
She slowly turned to him, fighting like hell to keep her tears at bay. “Hey,” he said.
Lily took a moment to steady herself. She was so close to crying that if she spoke she was sure the tiny droplets would come tumbling down her cheeks.
“Hey,” She whispered.
“Can we talk?” he asked, letting go of her arm. She looked down at the floor, wiping her eyes then looked back up at him.
“Yeah,” She nodded, leading him through the palace and into the dining room. He gave her a questioning gaze. “Neutral ground,” she explained.
“Fine,” he shrugged. “You okay?”
“Do I look okay to you?” she asked, gesturing to herself. Drake took notice of the dark bags under her eyes, the eyes he loves so very much, her hair brushed but greasy.  She looked skinnier to him, she’d lost some weight while he’d been gone.
“No,” he mumbled.
“And you? I mean you look…fine. Happy. Like you’ve just come home from a holiday.”
“Would you prefer me to still be drinking myself to death? To look like I did when I left?”
“No. T-that’s not what I’m saying,” she explained, shaking her head. She looked around the room, not daring to look at her husband. She sighed, ran her hand through her hair then  looked back up at him, shrugging. “I-I just- Drake I- Are you going on Friday?” She asked, finally having found the courage.  
Drake thought for a second. “I don’t know if I can,” he said honestly. “What about you?”
“Do I have a choice? She’s our daughter, we have to go, we at least owe her that. I know that it’s hard and the thought of the funeral is- the thought of burying our little girl is…horrific? I don’t know how to explain it. I spoke to Leo and he said ‘there’s no right or wrong thing to do’ but of course there is.  We have to go. You can yell at me and tell me it was all my fault there’s a funeral to begin with or say you wish it was me. You can’t say anything to me that I don’t already know, but…I can’t do this without you.”  
Drake was taken aback by her words. He didn’t really remember yelling at her or what he had said for that matter. He was drunk- the alcohol had been doing the talking.
He reached up to place his hand on her shoulder. “I don’t wish it was you,” he said, his chocolate brown eyes meeting her bright blue ones. “I’d never even think that, you know that. I was angry and drunk and I shouldn’t have said any of it. I’m sorry. I don’t blame you, of course  I don’t.”
She scoffed. “It sure sounded like you did,” she shrugged his hand off her. Stepping back from him. “Don’t worry about it though, Drake. It’s fine.”
“Lil-”
“No,” she cut him off. “You left me! I understand you needed a time out, sometime away, well done for knowing you’d had enough. Admirable, it really is how you can just up and leave after everything that has happened, like it’s…irrelevant. Like it doesn’t matter.”
Lily, listen-”
“I’m not done! You ran away. You ran to Texas, to the woman who abandoned you when you were a child, after your own dad had died. I needed you! I still need you. I know Ellie was your daughter too, i know it’s fucking hard, believe me-”
“Listen to me for a minute!” he yelled, “I didn’t know what else to do, Lily. I-we were just pushing each other away. You barely left our bed and I was just drinking the days away.  It was becoming toxic. I’m sorry for snapping at you. I said i’m sorry for what i said. Maybe going to Texas was the wrong thing to do but there’s no fucking guide of how to deal with your daughters death!”
They locked eyes. Both their chests rising and falling quickly from their outbursts. “ Stop being a coward and man up,” she snarled, turning away from him and heading out the dining room, slamming the door behind her.
Lily ran to her quarters, pushing the door open and slamming it shut behind her.  She was angry, upset and countless other things. She wanted to hit something. No, actually she wanted to beat the shit out of something in that moment.
********
Leo, Katie and the twins sat in the living room. The adults on the sofa and the kids sitting on the floor in front of the tv. Eva was drawing as Lewis watched the tv intently. Katie’s legs lay in her husband’s lap, Leo rubbing his hand up and down her bare calf.
Leo and Katie split their time between the states and Cordonia. Katie didn’t really have family back home anyway. Nathan, her eldest brother was busy with his job, his wife, Elena, and their daughter Rosie and her twin sisters, Jess and Kelly, were both off living their own lives. Kelly was at school finishing her degree and Jess had decided to go travelling.  
Like Lily and Drake, Leo, Kate and the twins had a little cottage on the palace grounds. Of course, there was more than enough room in the palace for all of them but they had wanted a place to call their own.  Constantine had gifted the cottage to the couple shortly after they had married in case Leo ever decided to come home, whether just for a visit or to stay.
The Children loved the palace but it wasn’t exactly the safest place for children. They would run around, even had gotten lost on a number of occasions, there were weapons on the display- no where near how Olivia’s estate was but still the couple found it unsafe for their curious five year olds.
Leo groaned when somebody started tapping on their front door. Katie was about to get up but Leo got to his feet first. “I’ll go.”
Leo opened the door to find his sister stood on the other side, cradling her left hand in her other one. Leo’s gaze drifted down to her bloody and bruised hand. “What did you do?”
“I might have…punched a wall. Multiple times.”
Leo shook his head in disapproval. “That wasn’t very clever was it?”
“I know!” she snapped.
“Want to talk about it?”
“Not really,” she shrugged, not really needing a lecture from Leo about what she had said to Drake a she really wasn’t in the mood for it. “Look it’s cold out here, can I come in?”
Leo moved to the side to allow his sister entry. “I’ll get you an ice pack,” He said, closing the door. “The kids and Kate are in the living room. Just don’t let the twins see your hand.”
She nodded heading into the living room. Katie perked up seeing her sister-in-law, they both had become reasonably good friends through the years. Kate’s eyes widened seeing Lily’s hand as she pulled down the sleeve of her jumper, to cover it, causing her to wince, before the twins saw.  
Lily plopped down onto the sofa beside Katie, the children seeming to still be occupied with what they were doing. Katie leaned in closer to Lily.
“What the hell happened?” she asked, nodding to her hand. The bruises were  climbing up her fingers peeking out from the jumper sleeve.
“I hit a wall,” she explained, “I know it was stupid. Leo has already told me as much.”
“Are you okay?”
“It looks worse than it is,” she shrugged.
“You know that’s not what I meant. Did you talk to Drake?” katie asked.
Lily shook her head as if that action would make her forget that disaster of a conversation that had taken place only an hour ago.
“I’d rather not talk about it,” she said, looking down into her lap and away from Katie.  
Leo walked back in handing his sister the ice pack. She took it from him, mumbling a thanks and placing it onto the mess she had made out of her hand. She winced as it made contact.
“You okay?” Leo asked.
“Yep,” she nodded, it was then the kids decided to look up. Eva looked at Lily quizzically upon seeing the ice pack on her hand as Lewis just smiled at his aunt and turned back to the TV.
“What happened to your hand?” she asked.
“I banged it,” lily lied.
The girl nodded in understanding. “I banged my hand the other day when we  were at the park playing with Bartie. It hurt. Does your hand hurt?” Eva asked.
“It does,” she nodded.
“That’s not good. I’m going to draw you a picture to cheer you up,” Eva explained, turning away from the adults to get drawing. Katie smiled at her daughter and then  turned to look at her husband.
“Can I talk to you for a second?” She asked.
“I’ll keep an eye on them,” Lily said. Leo nodded and left the living room with Katie trailing behind him.
Thirty minutes later.
“Aunty Lily look at my drawing,” Eva said, holding the drawing if the entire family including even Ellie. Lily glanced at it but turned away, not paying attention to Eva’s insistent pleas her aunt look at her drawing.
“Aunty Lily?” The girl asked, still trying to show Lily what she had drawn, obviously not getting the hint she didn’t want to look.
The sound of the children’s show that Lewis was watching echoed in her ears. It was loud, too fucking loud in her opinion and it was annoying the hell out of her amongst her nieces pleas she look at a drawing.
“Aunty lily please look.”
She didn’t know why but something inside her snap. She jumped to her feet, throwing the ice pack down onto the sofa.  “SHUT UP!” she screamed at the kids. “SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!”
Leo walked in after hearing his sister yelling. He took Lily’s expression go from pure anger to guilt then turned to see Eva tearing up and Lewis looking at his aunt in shock.
Lily looked from her brother back to her niece who was still trying to keep her tears back. “I’m sorry. I-i’m really sorry,” she mumbled.
Just then Katie walked back in,  “What is going on?”
Lily looked to her brother.
“With me. Now.” Lily followed her brother out the front door and onto the porch. He paced for a second then turned back to her. “What the fuck is wrong with you?”
“I’m sorry i don’t know why I yelled at them.”
“You just scared the shit out of her.” There were very few things that pissed Leo Rys off. He didn’t get angry or upset over a lot of things but he would if someone upset his kids or wife. Leo ran his fingers through his hair.
“I know. Leo, i’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare her or Lewis. I just-”
“Did something happen with, Drake?” he asked, the incident momentarily being forgotten. Lily hesitated.
“No.”
“Bullshit. Talk,” he ordered.  
“We had an argument, okay? He wanted to talk and I lost it on him. He just wanted to have a conversation about the funeral, explain why he left and I told him to stop being a coward and to man up,” she explained, shaking her head and looking down to her feet. She sighed, rubbing her hands over her tired eyes then reverting them back up to her brother.
“I know you. There’s something else. What is it?”
“Nothing,” she lied.
“Wow second time i need to call you out on your bullshit. Talk to me.”
“I erm…When Drake left, Liv and Max came to check I was okay, I wasn’t I- by the time Liv got there i was having a panic attack- Liv and I- I was pregnant,” she explained, stuttering.
“What do you mean was?” Leo asked, his brow furrowing.
Lily swallowed thickly, looking down to her feet again. “Liv took me to see Dr. Ramirez to check everything was okay- it was by some miracle.  On Thursday morning after I had the night to think I made the decision to have an abortion. Liv took me. It’s why you didn’t see me over the weekend- I needed some time to process all of it.”
They stood in silence for a few moments. Lily looked back up at him after finding the courage to do so.
“Why?” Leo asked.
“Because look at me, Leo! I am…broken! It’s my fault Ellie is dead! It’s my fault we have to bury her on Friday. I had an abortion to spare that child from having a mother like me! To stop him or her getting hurt because of me,” She screamed, her voice cracking whilst saying her last sentence. The tears soon came falling.
“What are you talking about?” Leo asked with genuine confusion. “I’m going to say this one more time: it wasn’t your fault. Yes, you were driving but that car crashed into you, not the other way around. Ellie loved you, she adored you, you know that, Lily. Deep down you know that.”
“Do I?” she asked, her voice cracking and tears spilling when she looked up at him again. Leo took a few large strides over to her, pulling her into him. She wrapped her arms around him as if she was clinging to her brother for dear life as she cried into his chest.                      
Leo rubbed circles along her back, whispering reassurances into her ear. In that moment that’s all he could do.
“I didn’t even tell Drake,” she mumbled into his chest. “He doesn’t know, Leo, I-”
“We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it,” he told her. He squeezed her tightly one more time before pulling away. “It’s freezing out here. Let’s go back in.”
They returned inside. Lily gave both children a cuddle and said sorry for yelling and had a look at Eva’s drawing, thanking her for doing it and finishing watching the children’s show with the twins.
********
Thursday evening- Lily had finished making her tea in the kitchen then walked into her bedroom, swallowing thickly at the sight of the black dress hung up on her wardrobe door.
She couldn’t explain how she felt, it was like someone was squeezing her heart, she couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think, all she felt was numb.
It was like she was having a constant panic attack, like she couldn’t breathe, couldn’t catch her breath. Her world had ended that day and she still wasn’t sure nearly three weeks later if there was any coming back from it. Ever. How was she supposed to wake up every morning without her little girl and go about her day?
She took the dress down and put it inside the wardrobe- wanting it out of her sight, no longer needing any sort of reminder of what was going to be taking place the next day.
She sunk down on the end of her bed, gripping the mug tightly in her one hand as the other was still sore from the wall she had assaulted the evening prior.  
She hadn’t left her quarters that day, spending the majority in bed and looking through old photographs from when she was a child. She often wondered if her mother and father would be proud of her. She used to believe they would be but now she wasn’t so sure.
It was an indescribable feeling that she felt went her parents were ripped from her but this didn’t even compare.
She had spoken to Leo that morning to assure him she was okay and that he didn’t need to worry, although she was certain that he would- that’s what big brothers were for.  
Leo had had a point about Drake and lily needing to do this together, to be there for one another in their darkest hour but She didn’t know how they would do it. Every time they seemed to speak it just ended up in having an argument and one of them storming off.
She still needed to find out if Drake was going to attend. She understood very well were the apprehension came from. She understood that having the funeral was saying goodbye, a final goodbye and she wasn’t sure whether she could bear it either.
She was only eight when she attended her first funeral- her mother’s funeral. It was…she had nightmares about it for weeks afterwards, it was traumatizing for the young girl. She had witnessed things her brother’s hadn’t.
She, like Liam, had met with their mother in the ballroom and then went their separate ways.
Later that night, Lily had awoken from a nightmare and went to find her parents. She found them in the dining room with some friends. She peeked into the ballroom and Eleanor had seen her and offered to take her back to her room and stay with her so  Constantine could finish his conversation with the Duke of Karlington.
On the way back to their royal chambers Eleanor started to feel unwell and ended up collapsing. Lily had run back to the dining room to fetch her father by the time Lily had led her father to her mother, it was too late.
Just a week after she was made to attend her funeral, she hadn’t even processed any of it, that her mother was dead, what she had witnessed and she had to say goodbye. Her last goodbye to the woman she looked up to, who she admired endlessly.
Then it was her fathers. It was easier for her, the Rys siblings had known their fathers time was coming to an end, they were prepared for it as much as someone could be. Even then he was ripped from them suddenly, without warning. All she had wanted was to hold his hand and say goodbye, like she didn’t get to do with her mother, but she didn’t even get to do that in her father’s final moments either.
Yes, lily was an adult when she attended her Fathers funeral but it was still as traumatic as her mothers. She had so many nightmares after it. So many nights of waking beside Drake in a cold sweat yelling for her father to come back but during that time she had Drake to sit with her and comfort her that was the biggest difference to now. Drake.
All those memories she had of her mother and father were awful but what she was in for tomorrow would be so much more painful. It would be something she never, ever would forget.
She didn’t know how long she had been sat there when she was brought out of her daze by somebody knocking on her door.
She sighed, placing the mug with the now cold tea onto her bedside table and headed over to the door. She placed her hand on the doorknob looking out the peephole. Drake.
She hesitated to turn it not in any way shape or form in the mood for another argument but the conversations she had with Leo yesterday  morning and the evening prior swirled around in her head. Against her better judgement she opened the door.
Looking down at the floor before gathering the courage and the strength to look up at him. They locked eyes briefly before she turned away, reverting her eyes down the long hallway instead.
“Can we talk? I promise not to yell this time,” Drake said.
She nodded in agreement, stepping to the side to allow him entry. “Good. I’ve got a headache,” she said, her voice quiet and sounding defeated- that being the way she talked now anyway.
She closed the door and led him into the living room.
Drake and Lily both sank down onto the sofa. Drake leant forward, resting his elbows on his knees as Lily brought her legs under her.
“You were right: I have to go tomorrow. I owe her that,” Drake said. Lily turned to him, giving him an appreciative nod.
She took the pillow from behind her and brought it to her chest. Drake noted that was only something she did when she was anxious.
“I’m not going to yell at you again,” he repeated.
She looked down, playing with the tassel attached to the corner of the pillow. “I wouldn’t promise that just yet if i were you.”
Drake’s brow furrowed when he turned to her. “What the hell does that mean?”
Lily turned back to look at the tassel she was playing with in her hand.
He needs to know, Lily. You have got to tell him. It was his baby too.
She swallowed thickly. Took in a deep breath and looked back up at him. “I’m not going to…plead with you that you don’t hate me. You very well might do. You will. I’m not going to ask you to look at this from my point of view either-”
“What are you talking about?” Drake asked essentially cutting her off.
“Last week when you left I-” She stopped talking. She hadnt thought this through. This wasn’t how she wanted to tell him.
“Will you just say whatever it is,” he demanded.
“Last week after you left I-I discovered, along with Olivia, that I was pregnant.” She swallowed thickly, taking in another deep breath to steel herself. She locked her blue shiny eyes with his chocolate confused ones. “I had an abortion late last week,” she whispered.
“What?” he asked, his voice calm but she knew it wouldn’t be for much longer.
“I had an abortion,” she repeated, her voice cracking. Drake sat there in stunned silence. “I know that now probably wasn’t the time to tell you. I know that.  I-I couldn’t keep this from you, it wouldn’t be fair-”
He held up a hand to stop her. She looked back up from her lap to him, her heart shattering at seeing his eyes dancing with unshed tears. “I-I don’t know what to say,” She stuttered.
“Did anyone go with you?” Drake asked. Confusion flitted across her face.
She nodded her head slightly. “Liv took me but why does that matter? Why aren’t you yelling at me?”
“What good would it do?” Drake shrugged, “It won’t change it.”
“But-”
“But nothing,” Drake cut her off. “Am i pissed off? Yeah, I am. Would I have liked to be involved in the decision whether my child had a future or not? Yes, I would’ve liked to at least have been consulted. It was my baby too but…I don’t want to argue with you, Lily. I really don’t. I just- Why? Why did you do it?”
She thought the question over. “Because when you are pregnant that baby relies on you- for everything- to feed them, protect them- you have yourself to look after and the little person inside of you. That doesn’t stop when you give birth, Drake. They get older and don’t rely on you to do everything but you’re still responsible for them. They still rely on you to protect them and I failed to do that for Ellie. She trusted me to keep her safe and I couldn’t protect her. But that’s not why I did it. My heart is still full of her, she’s all I think about from the moment I open my eyes in the morning until I close them to go to sleep, I didn’t- I don’t have room for another baby, not while I’m grieving for her. Maybe not ever again because I don’t think I could ever go through this again. You can  hate me if you want, I wouldn’t blame you  but still come tomorrow.  Please.”
Drake got to his feet. “I- I just need sometime to…process that,” he mumbled and then left. Lily heard the door click into place.
Great…another thing i’ve fucked up
********
Lily glanced at the clock on her bedside table: 5:43. It had nearly been six hours of tossing and turning, falling asleep and waking back up again
She threw the covers off her, her bare feet meeting the plush carpet as she headed into his kitchen. She opened the fridge taking out the orange juice and poured herself a small glass. She put the carton back in the fridge, picked up the glass and headed to her living room, taking a seat on the sofa.
Today was one that she had been dreading for three weeks, from the moment Drake hold told her that her baby girl was dead. It was also one she never thought would happen either. It wasn’t right. This wasn’t the way it supposed to be.  
One day Ellie was supposed to attend Liy’s funeral, not the other way around.
She put the glass down onto the table then picked up her journal and pen, laying it open in her lap.
It’s funny how life turns out. Four years ago tomorrow I gave birth to my beautiful little girl. That was the best day of my life, I know all parents say that but it really was.
Who knew such a little person could change everything? Change your entire life?
You’re so happy when you bring a child into the world. You know one day they’ll have to go through losing you but you never stop to think it might be the other way around because that’s not how it’s supposed to be. That’s not how it works. You are never supposed to outlive your child.
People say it wasn’t my fault- it feels like it is, not just because I was driving the car  but because I protected her from everything for nearly four years, I grew her inside of me for nine months, kept her safe, gave birth to her and I was supposed to do that, protect her until I couldn’t anymore.
Because my mother died when I was  a child I never really had an example of what a mother was supposed to be like. From what I remember my mother was kind, passionate, assertive when she needed to be, not afraid to be the ‘bad guy’ when things called for it, taught me  right from wrong then she died and i didn't have her anymore, that role model, then I had my daughter and I didn't know how to be a mom. Regina was the opposite of my mother, cold, decisive, calculating (I’m describing Regina not Madeline- i know it sounds like the other way around) but I didn’t want to be her. I tried to be my mom and I failed.
I’m starting to think I’m cursed. Everything goes wrong in my life but Drake and Ellie were what went right. They were mine and now I don’t have either of them.
Today I have to go to my little girls funeral. I have to say goodbye but I can’t. I don’t know how to.
Saying that to my parents was the hardest thing I’ve ever  had to do but I did and I found some kind of closure along the way but I can’t do that with Ellie.
Everything revolved around her. She was everything to me. She made me want to get out of bed in the morning, to see her cheeky grin and hear her laugh- I’ll never hear that again. I’ll never overhear her playing tea parties with her bears and dolls, I’ll never hear her plotting things with Leo or see her laugh when Maxwell does something silly or play with her cousins, i’ll never see her squirm when Drake tickles her tummy. It’s all the little things, the moments in between that I’ll never get again. That I’ll miss the most.
A few tear droplets hit the pages, smudging some of the ink on the page, much like the other pages in the book.
It was something a therapist had suggested when her mother died- to write it all down, to get it off her chest that way instead of talking about it because that was something she struggled to do.
The same therapist had suggested that Lily write a letter, even though the receiving party would never read it, that maybe it would grant her some closure. She had done that for both her parents when they died. She wrote down all those unspoken words, everything she wished she could’ve done with them. She also wrote them one when she got married, had Elie, on their birthdays. There was something about it that gave her comfort. It helped her.
She turned the page and pressed the pen back onto the paper.
To my little Ellie,
You’re safe now sweetheart. I promise, nothing will ever hurt you again.
I miss you. Everyday. I think about you all the time and so does your daddy. He misses you. Everybody does, baby girl.
Lily took the pen off the page, putting the lid on. She wasn’t ready. It was too soon. She made herself a promise in that moment that one day she would get that letter written. One day.
********
Lily stood in front of her mirror in her bathroom staring at her reflection. She reached up to adjust the matching black fascinator on her head, before looking back into the mirror solemnly.
This wasn’t right. Any second now she was hoping she would wake up from this twisted, sadistic nightmare.  
She saw Leo come up behind her in the mirror, dressed in his black suit and matching tie. He placed his hand on her shoulder, she looked up at him as a tear trickled down her cheek.
Leo wiped it away. “Come on.”
“I can’t do this,” she said. She was starting to panic, it felt like somebody was sitting on her chest.
“Lil, calm down. It’s okay. It’s going to be okay, I promise.” Lily wrapped her arms around him, squeezing him tightly. He patted her back affectionately.
“Where are the kids?” Lily asked  as she pulled away. Thankful the mascara she was wearing was waterproof. That was a minuscule thing in the grand scheme of things but she was royalty, she was expected to look presentable even in her darkest and most painful hour.
“Joanne has got them.”
“Good,” she nodded, “They’re too young for this. They don’t need to be there.”
Leo nodded his agreement, “The cars will be here in a minute.”
She swallowed thickly and nodded. Leo led her out of her quarters and to meet the others on the steps.
********
Drake stood in front of his mirror doing up his tie and adjusting it so it was straight, then slipped on his black blazer.
He took in a deep breath to steel himself as he ran a hand through his chestnut coloured hair. His eyes moved to Bianca stood in the doorway in the mirror’s reflection. Drake swallowed thickly, licking his suddenly very dry lips.
“It’s time. The cars will be here in a second,” Bianca explained. Drake nodded, allowing his mother to lead him outside.
********
Lily arrived with Leo outside out onto the steps where Liam, Riley, Hana (who she had become quite good friends with) Maxwell, Bertrand, Savannah and Regina all dressed in their appropriate jet black outfits stood,
Lily felt tears pricking at her eyes when she noticed Drake wasn’t there. Despite the disappointment she was feeling that her husband wasn’t there she greeted the rest of her family.  
They stood there for a few minutes after they had all exchanged the most simple of pleasantries, because there was nothing anybody could actually say. Lily kept looking to the doorway, waiting, hoping that Drake was coming.
Lily’s attention was drawn to the two black funeral cars and matching hearse pulling to a stop in front of the steps. Her attention was drawn to the oak coffin in the back, surrounded with different coloured roses and mixed coronations. She felt a small smile tug at her lips when her eyes landed on the single sunflower.
All the young rys children used to grow a sunflower each and see whose would grow the tallest just like lily used to do with her brother’s when Queen Eleanor was still alive.
She felt someone grip her hand. She looked down at it, her brow furrowing as she turned her head to look behind her. Drake.
She squeezed his hand back tightly. She could read him and she knew he was fighting like hell to try and keep it together.
“You okay?” Lily asked.
Drake shook his head, his eyes drifting to the wooden box again. He wanted to believe that his little girl wasn’t in there but she was and that was just  the hard truth of it.
Drake looked back to Lily when she squeezed his hand.
“Are you alright?” Drake asked, she shook her head. They were not okay, none of it was okay.
With one last look between the couple, the group headed down the concrete steps and got into their respective cars.
******** Lily felt herself completely break when she saw the coffin being lowered into the cold, damp earth. She couldn’t hold it in anymore and burst into a heartbreaking sob, most of the people there had never heard anything like it, they had never seen a woman so completely and utterly broken.
Drake immediately wrapped his arms around her as he broke himself, resting his chin on top of her head as his own body wracked with sobs.
“It’s okay,” Drake whispered to her. The group of friends and family turned to look at the couple as they both completely shattered in front of them, all of them shedding tears of their own.
Lily’s knees buckled from beneath her and Drake let himself fall down with her, still holding her tightly.  “It’s going to be okay,” He repeated quietly to himself rather than her. “Everything is going to be fine.”
****Six years later****
Lily woke in the middle of the night in a cold sweat. Another nightmare. She was back in that car again but it wasn’t Ellie sat next to her.
Lily turned her head to the side- Drake was still fast asleep. She carefully threw the blankets off her and climbed out of bed and made her way to her daughter’s bedroom.
Rosie Connie Walker was now the couples pride and joy. She was nearing her fourth birthday like Ellie had been when she died and now Lily felt those memories and feelings rearing their ugly head.
In her nightmare it was Rose sat beside her. She was scared that something was going to happen. Last time broke her nearly beyond repair and if it happened again there really would be no coming back from it. Ever.
She picked the blanket up from where it had started to fall onto the floor and covered the young girl with it. She leant over and kissed her forehead. “I love you,” she whispered as she quietly snuck out.
Lily headed to her study, took  a seat behind the pine desk and took out her journal from her top desk draw and a black ink biro from the pet pot.
She flicked through the pages until she reached those few words she had written on one of the hardest days ever- she had a promise to keep.
Her eyes scanned over those words.
To my little Ellie,
You’re safe now sweetheart. I promise, nothing will ever hurt you again.
I miss you. Everyday. I think about you all the time and so does your daddy. He misses you. Everybody does, baby girl.
She steeled herself and pressed the pen tip against the page and started to write.
It’s been a while since I’ve written anything. Six years, I wasn’t ready then but i think i am now.
You, little madam, would be ten in a couple of weeks. Double digits.
I still think about you every single day.  I haven’t forgotten you and I never, ever will. I love you and I miss you more than words can ever express.
I hope that wherever you are now you know that me and your dad, your uncles and aunties and everyone misses you so much and love you endlessly.
You’d be a big sister. Her name is Rosie because you loved roses, didnt you? Your grandmother, Eleanor, loved them too, you must’ve gotten that from her. Her middle name is Connie, my dads nickname.
You’d be the best big sister, kind, cheeky, maybe a little bossy but you’d be the best big sister a younger sibling could ever ask for.
Your uncle Leo just had another little girl. He has three girls and one boy now- quite the handful he’s got- Luckily they seem to take after their mother.
Uncle Liam and Aunty Riley had twins last year, two girls.  
Your aunt Olivia got married, properly this time and they had a son together a couple of years ago. He’ll be two next month.
Guess what? I haven’t told your dad yet but I think I’m pregnant. I hope so. Maybe it’ll be a boy this time, your dad is a little outnumbered at the minute. He’d appreciate a boy i think.
Just know that wherever you are sweetheart that Rosie and this baby (if there is one)  aren’t replacing you. Nobody ever could. You were my first born. I was so scared but so excited when i found out about you.
It’s been six years and the pain hasn’t gone away, it never will but that’s okay because you’re my little girl and I am never going to forget anything about my little petal.
I miss you sweetheart.
Goodbye
Mom xxx
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glorious-spoon · 5 years
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Nothing Fancy, Nothing Much
Title: Nothing Fancy, Nothing Much Link: On AO3 Fandom: Agent Carter Pairing: Rose/OFC, Rose/Michael Warnings: None Other tags: Character Study, Wistful Summary:  Rose Roberts takes a job in L.A., and eventually finds her feet and her place in the world.
Written as part of the Fandom Supporting Migrants fic exchange for @musiclmaiden who donated to RAICES.
*
What with one thing and another, Rose has been in LA for more than a month before she actually makes it out to the beach. Surprisingly, she doesn’t actually mind that much, even though the beach was half the reason she decided to take the job when Agent--well, Chief, now--Sousa offered back in July.
Okay, more like a third of the reason. She really does like Chief Sousa, and it was becoming increasingly obvious that whatever Peggy managed to pull off back in New York, the options for a gal like her were...well. Limited.
Besides, LA is like a dream. Scorching hot, sure, but it’s a dry heat, and the shop down the street from her new apartment sells these adorable little parasols to keep her from breaking out too badly in freckles. She’s been able to relax her wardrobe a bit, she’s stocked up on bathing suits, and even Chief Sousa has taken to wearing a string of increasingly outrageous Hawaiian shirts, although she’s pretty sure that pretty blonde he’s been stepping out with has something to do with that.
Hard luck on Peggy, but that’s just how the cookie crumbles sometimes.
Anyway, it’s mid-September before she makes it out to Will Rogers Beach. In New York, it would be getting too cold for swimming this time of year, but here in California it’s just as scorchingly hot as ever, and by the time she gets her towel and umbrella and picnic lunch arranged on the white sand, she’s all over sweat and ready for a dip.
Despite the heat, the ocean is still icy; she’s not quite sure what she was expecting. She shrieks, splashes, and topples over on her fanny, and someone laughs nearby, a small warm hand reaching down to help her up before she can be too put out about it, and she looks up to see warm brown eyes sparkling in a pretty sun-browned face, blonde curls pulled behind a bright red bandanna.
“You all right?” the woman asks, white teeth flashing bright.
“Fine,” Rose says faintly. She feels a little faint, and she’s pretty sure it’s not the heat or the tumble she just took.
And that’s how she meets Doris.
*
Here’s the thing. Rose has always had an eye for a good-looking fella. She always figured that after the war was over she’s find a man, settle down, raise a family.
That was before she joined up with the WAC as a switchboard operator and… well. Got her horizons expanded just a touch by a string of pretty hard-edged gals in uniform.
Of course, none of those affairs were ever going to last, but it was good to have a little bit of fun in a miserable situation, especially since none of that sort of fun was going to end up with her in a family way. Just about everybody got up to some kind of nonsense over on the front. Half the men, too, although of course she wasn’t meant to know anything about that.
The point is, she never expected any of it to follow her back home, but with Doris… well. One afternoon of splashing in the shallows and sharing the large picnic lunch Rose packed under her umbrella turned into two, and then three, and then before she knows it they’re meeting for shopping trips down in Studio City, and lunch dates that ramble into dinner dates without anyone paying attention, and by the time two weeks later when Doris leans across the towel they’re sharing on the empty beach at dawn and kissed her on the mouth, Rose already knows she’s done for.
It can’t last. She knows it can’t. But Doris is here, and she’s beautiful, and Rose didn’t survive the war without learning how to hang onto any good thing she can get with both hands for as long as she can.
She knows it’ll hurt when it ends, but that doesn’t mean it’s not worth having while it lasts.
*
She’s right. It hurts.
It’s not even a fight that does it, which might have been easier. Doris’s mother back in La Crosse gets sick, and Doris goes home to take care of her. She even offers for Rose to come with her, but Rose has the SSR, and she knows, she knows that if she gives that up she’ll end up resenting Doris until she poisons everything between them and is left with nothing.
Doesn’t make it hurt any less, but she kisses Doris before dropping her off at the train station, and smiles through her tears when Doris turns to wave with one white-gloved hand, her polka-dot skirt swirling around her legs, and she knows she’s made the right choice.
It’s just going to sting for a while, but Rose is a big girl and she’s lived through worse. She knows how to move on.
*
She never means to tell anyone, after. She doesn’t really date much--or, well, she does, she goes out dancing for a night, lets the other agents and scientists and the occasional civilian buy her a drink and spend a few minutes spinning her across the dance floor to Duke Ellington, but it’s never any more than that. She’s learned her lesson, she thinks. Spinsterhood is starting to look mighty fine.
And then Michael happens.
He’s the last thing she ever expected. None of them, even Peggy, were expecting him to be alive, so that’s a shock, and then he’s tall and blond and handsome and...gentle in a way that Peggy isn’t. Rose figures it has to be an act. She’s read his service files, after all. She knows what he’s done. What he’s capable of. She’s watched Peggy slap him across the face in the middle of the SSR bullpen and tell him that she never wants to see him again.
She’s sure as hell not expecting him to ask her out to dinner a few weeks later when he stops by the office. She’s definitely not expecting to say yes.
Rose Edith Roberts is not known for making smart decisions when it comes to her personal life, though, so she doesn’t exactly know why she’s surprised at herself.
He’s charming at dinner and over cocktails later. He doesn’t ask her to dance, which is probably to be expected. He doesn’t use a crutch like Chief Sousa, but he’s still got a stiff leg, a limp that he hides well enough that she’s not even sure anyone else notices it.
“You can go,” he says, smiling, and nods his chin at the dance floor. “Honestly. I don’t mind. I’m just not one for dancing these days.”
Rose gives him a long look, then lies cheerfully, “Yeah, well, me neither. You wanna buy me another gin and tonic and finish that story about the faked briefcase instead? You didn’t really jam some stiff into army clothes and dump him for the Krauts to find, did you?”
“You know, that’s really supposed to be top-secret,” Michael says, but he’s smiling.
Rose shrugs. “I have clearance. If you don’t want to tell me, though, you can just buy me another drink.”
“What about both?” Michael asks, and the way he’s smiling leaves her no choice but to smile back.
*
So, yeah. Michael Carter. Didn’t see that one coming.
She doesn’t let him kiss her that first night, or the next date when he takes her out to the boardwalk and buys her a cotton candy like they’re a couple of school-kids enjoying their summer break instead of a rather battered pair of spies. Former spies, in Michael’s case.
He doesn’t mention Peggy, and she doesn’t bring it up. Peggy herself has been tight-lipped about the whole business, which isn’t unusual for her, and Rose has a pretty good nose for figuring out when to push and when to leave it alone. This is a time to leave it alone.
But Michael is charming, and when he helps her into a cab later and asks if she’d like to take a picnic to the beach sometime later in the week, she barely even hesitates before she says yes.
She’s been over Doris for a while now, but something about picnics at the beach just always get to her. But she looks at Michael, his blond hair gleaming under the street lamps, his soft blue eyes and the curl of his smile, and she thinks, yeah. Yeah, she can do this.
“Sure thing,” she says. “Maybe I can teach you how to surf.”
“Oh, I don’t think you’ll have much luck with that,” Michael says, but he’s smiling. As the cab pulls away onto the street, she leans out the window to wave, and then to watch the shape of him grow smaller as they pull away until the cab turns a corner toward her apartment and he’s gone.
*
She takes him out to Will Rogers Beach that weekend. It hasn’t changed much in the year since she’s been there. Still choked with tourists, the white sand shifting beneath her bare feet as she slips her sandals off. Michael offers her his arm and she takes it, but she doesn’t let him take the picnic basket. He doesn’t protest, which is a point in his favor.
It’s not until they’re sprawled out on the red and white checkered blanket, their picnic lunch demolished between them, passing a bottle of wine back and forth like a pair of teenagers, that Rose leans back on her elbows and looks over at him, at his bare feet buried in the sand and his sunglasses tilted on his nose and the pink beginnings of a burn across his shoulders, his blonde hair disarranged by the salt breeze, and thinks— oh.
She never really has noticed the fall, has she? Not until it’s too late.
Michael glances over at her, quizzical. “Have I got something on my face?”
“No,” Rose says. Michael is still looking at her, the beginnings of a smile starting to curve his mouth, and it seems like the easiest thing in the world to lean across the blanket and kiss him.
It’s just a kiss, nothing special. Just a sweet first kiss, entirely proper because they’re out in public. There’s no reason for her heart to flutter like it does when they pull apart, when Michael cups her cheek and smiles at her, when he says, “I’m so glad you did that. I don’t think I would have had the courage.”
“Aren’t you some kind of war hero?” Rose asks, grinning.
“Hardly a hero.” Shadows flicker in his eyes, then vanish as if they were never there at all. She doesn’t ask. She’s got a good idea at their causes, and she was in the same war as him. She knows how it is.
And anyway, they’re both here now, on this warm beach full of tourists with the ocean spread out before them and Michael’s hand still warm on her cheek. He’s close enough that she can smell his cologne, see the faint crinkles in the corners of his eyes, and there’s really nowhere else in the world she’d rather be right now.
“Thank you,” he says, “for coming out with me.”
“Thank you for asking,” Rose murmurs, and closes her eyes when he kisses her again. It’s another soft, sweet one, but there’s a hint of promise there now that makes her flush. When they break apart, she says, “I haven’t been here in so long. Not since—”
She breaks off. She’s not ashamed of everything that happened with Doris, but it’s not exactly the kind of thing you bring up on a third date. Even if she gets the feeling that Michael might actually understand. He has that look about him.
“Not since what?” he asks softly.
Finally, she opens her eyes. He’s so close, and his blue eyes are so pretty, his expression gentle.
You can trust him, she thinks suddenly. You can tell him.
So she does.
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The Newest Ackles
Part 2 of Welcome to the Family
Relationship: Jensen X Daughter!Reader, Danneel X Daughter!Reader
Words: 2,232
Summary: The Reader is having a difficult time adjusting to her new way of life. But a challenge is nothing if not exciting!
Warnings: being the new kid at school, bullying (if you squint), lots and lots of fluff
Tagging: @winchesters-favorite-girl @deathtonormalcy56 @sis-tafics @straightasdeanwinchester @infamati--et--obliterati @girl-with-a-fandom-fettish @alexandriajanae4 @27bmm @missdestiel67 @sumara62
A/N: I was going to wait to post this but I’m impatient sometimes lol. Plus I really liked the way this turned out. There will not be another part to this, in case anyone was wondering. Enjoy!
Read part 1 here - Welcome to the Family
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The window was cool against the side of your head, a nice reprieve from the oppressive heat of Texas. Even after spending the entire summer in the Lone Star state, you still hadn’t quite adjusted to the temperature of your new home.
You scowled as the sunlight hit your eyes again; no matter which way you sat in your seat, you could never seem to completely block the harsh rays pouring into the car.
“What are you thinking about, kiddo?”
With a sigh, you turned to face Danneel -- no, your mom.
God, you were never going to get used to that, were you?
“Just…” you trailed off, trying to find a way to consolidate your jumbled thoughts. “Another state, another school. Another round of get-to-know-the-new-kid. It gets old after awhile.”
As she came to a red light, Danneel covered your hand with her own. “I know it’s hard, sweetheart. But just think -- this is the last time you’ll have to be the new kid, right?”
“Yeah,” you said, only just realizing. “I guess you’re right.”
“Be nice, be polite, and try to enjoy yourself a little,” she advised. Spinning the wheel, she drove up to the school building while your stomach did somersaults. “I’ll pick you up right here after school, and then you, me, and JJ can go for ice cream. How does that sound?”
Smiling, you gave her hand a small squeeze. “That sounds awesome.”
Danneel brought you in for a tight hug, rubbing comforting little circles on your back. As you breathed in her perfume, you relaxed your body into her embrace. These were the things you missed, the things you thought you would never get again after the fire. You pulled away, nerves finally calming.
“Thank you,” you said, a genuine grin on your face.
“Of course, sweetheart,” she responded. Then, checking her watch, she began shooing you out the door. “Go, go! Don’t wanna be late on your first day!”
You got out of the car feeling a bit more at ease than you did when you entered. From the backseat, you heard JJ ask about ice cream and laughed to yourself.
Maybe today wouldn’t be so bad.
“Welcome to our school, Y/N! Why don't you tell the class a little bit about yourself? Maybe your name, where you're from, and an interesting fact about yourself!”
With a barely stifled groan, you shuffled your feet. It was always the same story everywhere you went. Same annoyingly happy teacher, same stupid introduction, same bored kids staring at you with blank expressions. After so many years, the whole process had grown quite stale.
“My name’s Y/N, I'm from out of state, and… uh…” Your voice died in your throat as you struggled to think of something interesting. Other than the fact that you lived with one of the stars of a popular TV show, of course.
From somewhere in the middle of the room, a voice called out, “Don't strain yourself!”
Laughter erupted among the students, causing an embarrassed blush to creep up your neck. A look from the teacher silenced the kids, but the damage was already done. If you weren't self-conscious before, you definitely were now. Face hot, you mumbled something about having a little sister and practically ran to an open desk in the back of the room.
“Thank you, Y/N,” the teacher said, her disapproval at her students clear. Then, just like that, it disappeared, and she took on the persona of the too-perky teacher you knew so well. “Now, everybody get out your textbooks and start reading.”
For the first part of the day, no one talked to you, interacted with you, hell, even looked at you. They'd give you a side glance every now and then, but that was the extent of their hospitality. It made for a very lonely morning.
At lunch, you sat by yourself, staring at the disgusting cafeteria food and wishing you were back at home playing with JJ and the twins. There, at least, people would actually give you the time of day.
Without warning, a guy came over to your table and plopped down across from you, spreading his lunch out in front of you.
“Hey,” was all he said.
“H-hi,” you responded, unsure what to do. He, on the other hand, just continued to eat, stopping only to offer you a bag of chips, which you gratefully accepted. “So, uh, not to be rude, but… who are you?”
Seeming to realize that he hadn't introduced himself yet, the boy stopped chewing and stuck out his hand, which you hesitantly shook. “Oh, sorry. Name’s Luke. I saw you sitting alone, and since it's your first day I figured you probably don't know anybody, so I decided to keep you company.”
“How did you--”
Luke smiled gently. “We have English together, first period.”
“Oh, right! You sit next to that girl who looks likes someone dumped an entire bottle of bleach on her head,” you said, giggling.
“That's an… interesting description of her,” he told you with a laugh.
“Who is she?” you asked, full of curiosity about your new school.
Smile dropping from his face, Luke leaned in close. “Amber Green. The meanest and most popular girl in school. She and her clique are the type of people who could ruin your reputation and make you a social outcast with a single word.”
“Man, I hate people like that,” you said angrily.
“Me too,” he agreed. With a smirk, he sat back in his chair. “But hey, if you end up becoming an outcast, at least you won't be alone.” You looked at him in confusion. “You'll still have me.”
As the realization of his words hit you, a smile crept onto your face. “Yeah. At least I'll have you.”
For the remainder of lunch, the two of you talked about anything and everything. Until Luke stood up, you hadn't even realize the bell had rung to signal the end of the period, so engrossed in the conversation with your new friend.
Now, for the first time ever, you were actually looking forward to going to school.
Over the course of the week, you and Luke grew closer, always hanging out with each other any chance you got. By the time Thursday rolled around, you'd invited him over to your house -- with Danneel’s permission of course.
When Luke came over, he seemed starstruck by your mom, who had answered the door for you. He gaped at you, staring at your house in awe; it was kind of funny to watch.
“Y/N?” Danneel called from upstairs, still frantically getting ready.
“Yeah?”
“Please make sure JJ gets to bed on time,” she told you as she hurried down the stairs, in heels no less. “She’s probably gonna fight you on it, but you just have to stand your ground and she should listen.”
Nodding, you glanced over to where your little sister was watching Doc McStuffins on the TV. “Got it.”
“Gen has the twins so you don’t need to worry about them, and all the phone numbers are on the fridge just in case,” she continued, oblivious to the fact that she was rambling now.
“I got it.”
“There’s plenty of food in the kitchen, you both can help yourself to whatever you like.”
“Danneel--”
“JJ is pretty easy for dinner. Just whip up a PB&J and she’s all set. Oh, and one more thing--”
“Mom!”
Danneel stopped, hands frozen as she tried to put her earring in. Turning to look at you, a smile began to form on her face as it hit you -- you’d called her mom. You'd never called her mom before.
It felt really good.
She pulled you into a tight hug, her hands snaking around your waist. “I love you, sweetheart.”
You leaned away from her, grinning like an idiot. “Love you too, mom.”
With a start, Danneel began rushing out of the house, shouting her goodbyes as she tried to get to the party on time. When the front door slammed shut, you and Luke were left standing in the hall, your friend apparently still gazing at your home in wonder.
“So,” you said, glancing at him with a smirk. “Ready to babysit?”
“Hey, new girl!”
You turned toward the unfamiliar voice, eyes skimming through the hallway crowded with kids at their lockers. Finally, with a sinking feeling in your stomach, you saw that girl Luke told you about, Amber, walking in your direction, her posse in tow. Glancing back at Luke, you grimaced -- what did she want?
With a fake smile plastered to your face, you spun back around to look at the queen bee of the school. “Yes, Amber?”
“Listen, there's a party at my house this weekend,” she told you. “Because you're new and I'm so nice, as a welcome gift, you're invited.”
Luke started tapping incessantly on your shoulder, clearly more freaked out than you were. You sighed. “I really appreciate the offer. But I already have plans with my family for this weekend. Thank you anyway!”
“What?” she asked, incredulous. “You're turning me down?”
“Uh, yeah,” you said.
Amber was fuming, like no one would dare say no to her. “Don't do anything you're gonna regret, new girl. I'm sure you've heard by now that I can ruin you.” She was practically snarling. “I own this school. With one word, I can make the entire student body avoid you like the plague. I can make your time here absolutely miserable.”
“Yeah, I’ve heard,” you replied, growing tired of her already. Looking over your shoulder, you smiled at Luke before turning back to Amber. “But you know what? I think I’m okay with that.”
Growling, Amber stalked away from the two of you, mumbling some choice expletives under her breath. You let out a breath you didn’t know you’d been holding.
Suddenly, Luke grabbed your shoulder and spun you around, a shocked expression on his face. “Do you realize what you just did? You sealed your fate as an outcast at school.”
“But, hey,” you said, smirking. “At least I’ll have you, right? If you can put up with me and my crazy family, that is.”
Luke laughed. “Are you kidding? I love your family!”
“You do?”
“I had an inkling when I came over to your house, but when you told Amber you had family plans, I knew for sure,” Luke explained. “You’re the new Ackles!”
You gasped slightly. “What?”
“I’m a huge fan of Supernatural,” Luke said shyly. “I heard all about the convention you went to and how you got adopted by Jensen and his wife, but never in my wildest dreams did I think you were gonna come to our school!” He smiled, full of pride. “There’s a convention this weekend, right? And there’s no way Jensen and Jared wouldn’t bring their families along with them, so once I put two and two together, I knew I was right. Sorry I didn’t say anything before.”
“That’s okay,” you affirmed. “The important thing is that you wanted to be my friend anyway, even before you knew about my dad.”
Just then, there was a big commotion by the front doors, where a large crowd had gathered. With a quick look to your friend, the two of you rushed down the hallway to see what was going on. Both of you pushed through the throng of people, somehow managing to get to the front of the mass.
“What the--?”
Parked outside the school was a big black van, idling near the sidewalk. When the driver door opened, a large guy with tattoos and a goatee got out.
Cliff? you thought. Shouldn’t he be on set with the boys? The back door slid open, answering your questions. “No way.”
Out of the van stepped the man who had taken your life and turned it completely upside down, the one who had given you the family you always wanted, the one who was supposed to be in Vancouver, not Texas.
“Dad!”
All eyes turned to you as you raced across the school grounds to Jensen, whose face lit up like a Christmas tree. Tackling him in a big hug, you felt a wave of comfort wash over you when he returned the hug. You looked up at him, grinning broadly.
“What are you doing here?” you asked. “You should be on set!”
“I don’t see you complaining about it,” he teased, making you giggle. “Filming finished a little early this week, so we decided to pop in for a surprise visit before the con this weekend.”
Puzzled, you searched his face. “We?” Suddenly, someone came up from behind, picked you up, and threw you over their shoulder. Before you even saw his face, you knew exactly who it was. “Put me down, you big moose!”
Jared burst out laughing as he put you back down on the ground and ruffled your hair playfully. “You ready to have some fun tomorrow, squirt?”
“Hell yeah!” you shouted, pumping your fist in the air. “You, me, and dad are gonna have a blast together. Plus, I’ve got some awesome pranks we can pull in the green room.”
Pausing, Jensen looked down at you with an arched eyebrow. “You know you just--”
“I’m aware,” you said, a mischievous glint in your eye. “Trust me, you deserve it.”
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