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spearheadrampancy · 4 months

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So... if you don't mind me asking how've you been?

hoo boy. yeah. tldr: alive!

quite a fair chunk of shit happened i think. when i redownloaded the app i weighed up if i was gonna make a post abt what's happened, but ultimately decided against it bc i wasnt sure how active i was gonna be. looks like the answer is very, so i might as well for anyone who's curious (:

on with the details in no particular order!

just before we stopped posting, we mentioned how the company we worked for announced big profits, an expenses-paid trip for the top employees, and also the tiny small news that the team we were on was getting downsized from 20 ppl total to about 3 (6 to 1 for my role specifically). well, we did end up losing our job completely because the company was unwilling to make reasonable adjustments so we could move to the same role in a different team (we don't have any legal grounds to take action unfortunately). but this was fine for us bc we grew jaded with how management was doing shit anyway. they also laid off about 700 people from across the company a few months later.

we spent months trying to find a job, and eventually applied to university on a whim. we got in! we're studying game design and are currently in foundation year (level 0) of the course. we were pretty worried about "fitting in" and suff but honestly we made friends instantly and it turns out a lot of lgbt autistic folks are studying game design foundation year. strange! (/s). its a little weird being part of the popular clique now.

we built a site. a real one! with colours and scripts and all that! a couple sites, actually, but only one is what we're comfortable sharing publicly (other site is sys member info for friends to reference). the site is on neocities, available here. we got really into coding for realsies around the time that we stopped posting. we also got into something called choicescript, but the site took priority as we use it as a digital portfolio. we also started practicing API work by making little tools for the discord bot pluralkit, but they are. uh. far from finished

we got an rgb bulb that actually works with shortcuts, so it inspired us to actually code shortcuts again. they're pretty advanced now; we have a series of them dedicated to forcing us to sleep (it obviously isnt working given i'm still awake at 4am !!), but they're really smooth and helpful

we started drawing properly again (i know we've posted a lot of art on here but most of it is low effort memes. and also none of it was trad art, which we got back into), in order to prep for being asked for a portfolio for uni. which we eventually didnt even get asked for. we opened an instagram account to post it to while we work on getting our art on our actual site, and recently a deviantart account for crossposting.

i stopped writing. i also largely stopped building on my ideas for games and comics and such. this was more because i had More Pressing Things to be writing about, like our CV, and our applications, but i havent really picked it back up. in a bit of a plateau of inspiration rn. wanna fix that though.

we started playing hotline miami, which we'd been meaning to do for years. completed the first, got halfway into the second before a TERRIBLE AWFUL THUMB INJURY (dramatic. didnt even need glue) rendered us entirely unable to use a controller. it healed but we havent finished the second yet. today's actually the first time since august that we've even touched a controller, let alone played any games.

we got back into making music. we decided the system was going to start releasing music as a collective, so we set up a whole youtube channel and stuff for it. videos'll start january 1st, we hope.

i convinced two people to watch red vs blue. my token cishet guy friend who was my colleague at Shitty Workplace (i sent him slutty locus from earlier and his only response was "amazing") and one of my new uni friends (very autistic i think they will go feral for it). token cishet just finished season 8 and uni friend is in season 3 i believe.

health wise has been. a ride... our normal gp stopped practicing entirely, and we dont trust the other gp's at our clinic, so we've been entirely unmedicated and unchecked since november of last year, barring OTC stuff. except for the part where at the end of october we finally saw a rheumatologist (after being referred in 2019!) who said we probably had fibromyalgia. earlier this month we also caught some Mystery Illness that lasted two weeks and nobody knew what it was. our voice still hasnt recovered fully and the whole experience was weird, but the hospital nurse wasnt concerned and it didnt come back as positive for That One Illness That Got Really Popular In The Last Three Years so its honestly likely that it was just the regular old flu, which we werent used to after only really suffering from Disabled Person Sicknesses for the best part of the last 15 years.

we met steve downes and jen taylor, the voice actors of halo's master chief and cortana! got photos & signatures (: steve complimented my jacket and jen Really Wanted A Nap.

WE GOT THE GRIFBALL PLUSH (: i would make this bigger if i could. it's just one of those Material Gains that has a lot of sentimental value to us. and i found my glow in the dark ring which i cried about. again: material gains of high personal significance.

so yeah! a lot. im probably missing something because i have the brain of a sieve. but we're alive and thats the important part.

#srs09:m:haix #i know this is a long one but hopefully that readmore works ‼️‼️#srs09:t:looking up #its good to be reminded that my presence on this bitch of an earth means something to someone. id like to hold onto that feeling forever.

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yoongisgoawaydoormat · 7 years

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Your anon is mistaken. I was the one who sent that zayn anon and fyi I'm far from harry stan or ot4 stan. I'll always worry about zayn talking shit about louis because I guess I'm the only one who remembers he in fact publicly humiliated louis and that started the trend of hating on louis to look cool. I hope and wish zayn grew up and isn't that childish and arrogant anymore but it did happen and as a louis fan I'll never see him as a good person.

ok im gonna stop you right there because you don’t get to use defending louis as an excuse to shit on zayn

first off i can only assume youre referencing the zouis twitter fight of 2k15? i’ll have you remember that LOUIS started that fight with the constant shade at naughty boy and zayn by association. they BOTH humiliated themselves and each other that day, and it was an embarrassment on either end. louis doesn’t get out of that situation innocent, nor does zayn, and i think it’s clear (based on their individual comments) that they see that now. you wanna call zayn ‘childish and arrogant’ for that? then louis is too.

frankly, i’d like to see you face anxiety issues, disordered eating, islamophobia and more all while under intense public scrutiny and still manage to not act out against the forces and people who were involved and/or responsible and then see how reasonable you’d find it to be called childish. zayn is the farthest from childish of all 5 of 1d, so absolutely sit the FUCK down on that point.

also i’d like to pick apart your “that started the trend of hating on louis to look cool” logic. first off, literally ALL that you are basing this on is ONE tweet in the context of louis looking just as bad as z did, as ive already mentioned. but let’s just assume that it’s not a completely wild and implausible leap to act as if that ‘started a trend’ and break it down another way. let’s look at the major factions who think it’s cool to make fun of louis: ztans, harries/harrie larries and the general public/media (if you can think of another group that does so im all ears but..... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)

if you’re referring to ztans who dislike louis, they already did that before anything z said. z’s single ‘bitchy life’ tweet did not incite anything in them that was not already there, and if anything they despise louis and ot4 in SPITE of z’s graciousness... so on count one?

if you’re referring to harries/harrie larries who make fun of louis you fail yet again because those are the same people who hate zayn, more openly and more blatantly than they hate louis. these people’s shit treatment of louis comes from deeply rooted issues of classism in this fandom that have always favored harry and hurt louis (and zayn too i should add!!!!!!) this has been an issue for years, with larries in particular treating louis as less then harry. pinning any of that on zayn is just obtuse, and maybe you’re not a harry stan but doing that once again gives harry and his stans a free pass where blame should be placed squarely on their shoulders......... sooooooo bottom line you wanted me to believe that zayn influenced people who hate zayn to be as shitty about louis as they had always lowkey been anyways?

finally we have the general public and media outlets, and similar to the harries/harrie larries, them being shitty toward louis is a product of quite a bit more than zayn’s single comment. the gp’s dismissive and mocking attitude toward louis is a product of years of him being painted as the ‘other’ member, the one only known for having a girlfriend, the background guy. it is a product of a concerted effort to put Harry Styles™ out front and it is a product of some boneheaded moves (at times) on louis’ or @Louis’ part (im not getting into an argument about that dichotomy rn but you get the idea)... it kinda sounds like you didn’t read louis’ observer interview at all because on this front? zayn is the last person you should have an issue with.

you’re the “only one who remembers [zayn] in fact publicly humiliated louis and that started the trend of hating on louis to look cool” because you’re the only one who thinks it happened that way. and you’re the only one who thinks that because it DIDN’T happen that way. whatever reasons you have for hating zayn are your own but you don’t get to fabricate a reality just to justify them. you don’t get to call him childish. you don’t get to call him arrogant. you don’t get to act like he made people hate louis.

#Anonymous

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