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obsessive-ego · 3 years

Text

Wait? Demons go into heat?

Unestablished musical Beetlejuice x reader

Nsft

Beej goes into heat for the first time while knowing you

Dubious consent and masturbation warning

"Y/n, we need to talk"

You look up from your phone and quirk a brow at the statement, it was weirdly serious for your friend, at first you assumed he was getting ready to mess with you or something, until you noticed the purple hue that has taken over his form.

"Are you okay?" You utter softly

The demon sits down next to you on the couch and sighs

"Okay, y/n, I am going to go away for a bit" he refused to look at you, his voice was small and very unlike him, but this made sense, you knew beetlejuice didnt like going to the netherworld on his little business trips, so this behavior started to make more sense.

"Oh okay-"

"I just dont want to hurt you"

What? You freeze.

The ghoul sighs again, before finally meeting your eyes and gently grabbing your hands

"Y/n I'm going into heat next week and I need to be away from you-"

You snort out a laugh, pulling your hands from the ghoul's grasp, so this WAS a joke, going into heat?

Your laughter was short lived when beetlejuice grabbed your shoulders to get you to focus on him.

"Y/n I'm not kidding"

focusing back to the ghoul, it was obvious he was serious, spots of red peaking through the purple was a grim reminder he wasnt joking.

"I-"

"I'm a demon y/n, I'm gonna go into heat, and all I'm gonna do is want to fuck, and I dont trust myself to be around you, I'm gonna go away till it's over, and I NEED you NOT to say my name, just promise me that"

You nod

Never in your time of knowing the ghoul was he ever so serious, honestly it was scary, was his heat so bad he'd just jump you without consent? IT'S best not to dwell on it.

...

It's been a few days since beetlejuice disappeared for your own safety, it wasnt so bad, before he left he was very fidgety and practically glowing pink, the hug goodbye was awkward, the ghoul held you longer then normal and let out a soft whine, guess his cycle was starting.

You couldnt help but daydream about how hot it would be to have the demon rail you senseless in his heat, yes you had a crush on him, but you sure as hell weren't ready to express those feelings, especially during his heat cycle.

The week goes by, you enjoy your silence, and are very productive, it's not like you dodnt enjoy Beetlejuice's presence, it's just not easy to get chores done with him being under foot. You always took the opportunity to get stuff done when beetlejuice wasnt around, you loved him yes, but alone time was important, between getting stuff done, and just relaxing his absence was nice, though you did miss him, but as the week went on, you could help but forget as to why the demon had to vanish, work was rough, and as exhaustion took over your body, peices of your discussion fell to the side of your tried brain, something about heading to the netherworld for a bit, a business trip probably, not that you believed the demon HAD a real job anyways.

As the week comes to an end you go into auto pilot mode, friday was the end of a work week and you and Beetlejuice's movie night.

Coming home from work you had only one thing on your mind, lazing about with your friend and watching shitty horror movies. Everything you did was on auto pilot, tossing your bag aside as you head to your bedroom to swap out your work clothes with something much more cozy, fuzzy pajama pants and a baggy shirt.

You wander from your room tapping away on your phone, ordering the pizza you and beej normally share, you always payed ahead and let the demon believe him scaring off the delivery guy ment free food, you enjoyed Beetlejuice's awful jokes, and that wide toothy grin he gave you when he assumed him scored the two of you a free meal, but in all good consciousness you couldnt let that happen, you'll just the demon believe he's doing you a favor WHILE he's showing off.

You plop down on the couch, everything was set for a fun night of hanging with your pal, you havent seen him all week, for the life of you, you couldnt remember as to why beetlejuice wasnt around, something about going to the netherworld? Probably another business trip, whatever he was always so mopey when he had to leave, he'd probably be thrilled to have a easy hang out right? Well it's been a week and if beej wasnt done with whatever nonsense he had to take care of he could leave, simple as that.

You get up from the couch and holler "beetlejuice beetlejuice beetlejuice"

The lights flicker, then go out completely, you huff through your nose, this wasnt new, been was all about making an entrance.

"Y/N"

you flinch at the tone, harsh and angry, not exactly how he tended to great you when summoned, he was messing with you right?

Unfortunately in the pitch dark you couldnt see him to confirm this thought.

Before you could do or say anything, you're pushed back into the couch

"Beetlejuice-" you cry,

"I missed you honey, couldnt stop thinking about that soft warm body of yours" he purred, you face burned with embarrassed, yes beetlejuice tended to flirt with you, but this felt different, more

Intense

"What?" You utter

Before you could elaborate you felt the weight of him crawling up onto your lap, the ghoul grabs your chin, the demon leans into your face, your eyes now accustomed to the dark you were able to make out a bit of the ghoul before you, just not enough to make heads or tails of what's going on, as the ghoul leans closer to you, pressing his weight against your trapped form, he takes a long inhale through his nose.

"Oooh~ I missed you so much baby~" he moans out in a whisper.

"Okay knock it off beej" you groan, clearly embarrassed and done with this embarrassing joke, as you try to shove the demon off, this whole charade of his, everytime you summoned him he would tease you and mess with you for a laugh, but being this weird? More legit? That was new, maybe he was just upping his game to.mess with you?

Your shoves were only greeted with a growl, you huff and finally shove beetlejuice off you completely, with ungrateful thud the ghoul hits the ground.

"Seriously Beej what's gotten into you?" You sigh walking away from him to turn on the lights.

The ghoul grows at you sudden absence, not that you noticed, with a click the room fills with light. You frown, beetlejuice was gone, great he was in a pranking mood, you sigh, it's been a long week and you just wanted to relax and watch an awful movie. With that thought you are knocked to the ground with a rough shove from the back, and with a shriek and a thud you land on your stomach, you freeze as you feel the weight being pressed against your back, the culprit had crawled onto your back, practically laying on top of you.

"Baby wants to play rough tonight huh? Daddy will allow it~"

"Beetlejuice seriously, I don't want to play these games i- oh fuck" it hit you, it finally clicked why you havent seen the demon in over a week, he told you, and you fucking forgot, you got to caught up in your own routine and exhausting life, you forgot.

"Uh, beej? Can you please get off-"

"Soon baby, I'll get off soon" the ghoul purrs in your ear, his body firmly pressed against yours, you freeze as you feel a sudden hardness poking between your butt cheeks, you could hear your heart pounding away in your ears, you like beetlejuice yes, but you weren't ready to tell him, let alone let him fuck you on the floor. You were frozen unsure what to do, been warned you, and you forgot. You could banish him, 3 times in a row is all you need, and when this cycle is over this will be something the two of you can laugh about right?

"you smell so good honey~" your pulled from your thoughts with the ghoul's gravely purr

"Beetlejuice beetlejuice bee-" your voice was small and shaky

You gasp and curse at the sensation of something cold and wet trailing up your neck

"And you taste even better~"

You try again "beetlejuice beetlejuice bee-" again you were cut short with a familiar hand cupping against your mouth

"I dont wanna leave baby" he groans, lightly grinding his ever herding cock against your ass "I missed you, I missed your warmth, I missed your scent, i missed your sweet voice, I'm sick of being alone, i need you y/n" his grinding picks up in pace, the ghoul practicallydry humping you into the carpet, you yelp and squirm, in which beetlejuice responds with a soft moan.

"Beej please" you cry, a weird mix of arousal and fear fill your chest, in all honesty, you could find this whole situation pretty hot, but not now.

With the cry of your voice the ghoul flips you over, having you lay on your back. You finally get a good look at beetlejuice, as he hovered inches above you, pinning you below him.

The ghoul's once Forrest green hair was now a wild electric pink, almost magenta, his pupils once round, now resembled the eyes of a snake. Beetlejuice was practically drooling, and though the demon didnt need to breath, you sure could hear him breathing hard almost panting. You've never seen your ghost like this before,so this was heat? Again, other circumstances thos could be very hot.

"Bee?" Was all you could muster

The demon started back at you, wordless, it felt like forever until he closed the gap between you, burying his face in your chest, hands finding themselves placed along the hem of your pajama pants.

Beetlejuice was a mess, blabbering on and on "you smell so good, you feel so good, I need ya babes, I need ya bad, please let daddy fuck you" he whined, all the while he kept nuzzling your breasts. As if that was a distraction, the ghoul's hands began to tug on the hem of you pants, slowly he began to tug on them, slowly shimmying them down.

You were alerted to this action with the familiar squeeze of the demon's hand on your bum.

"Beej WAIT" you cry

Unfortunately on deaf ears, the ghoul continues his actions as your pants are finally removed and quickly tossed aside.

Your legs now fully bare were now free realestate to cold undead hands desperate for soft warm skin.

His his hands traveled up and down your legs, always stopping at the rear for a good long squeeze, you squirm and pant at the stimulation.

"You like that doll? You getting all hot under the collar with just a little touching~" he purred looking up for your chest.

You couldnt bare to look him in the eye, it was all too much, truth be told, you werent NOT enjoying his attention.

"Lawrence please-" you whine, not really sure as to what you were pleading, was it for him to stop? Was it for him to go further? So much was happening you felt like this really wasnt real.

But it sure as hell felt real when you felt the ghoul snap the waist band of your panties, you gasp and try to sit up, only to be pushed back down against the carpet.

The ghoul sighs and goes back to his babbling.

"I need this babes, I need you so much, I need you so bad it hurts, nothing else was good enough, I NEED you"

You could feel your ears burning at this, he really wanted you over anything else, it was probably just his heat talking, but in an odd way it was sweet.

You couldn't help but give the ghoul a soft smile at his desperate words, unfortunately the smile was quickly dropped and replaced with gritted teeth as you felt the demon's cold hands quickly yanking down your, now damp with arousal, panties.

"Beetlejuice STOP" you cry

Simple hum was your response

As the garment slowly made it's way down your legs you tried in vain to reason with the lust driven demon, all of your crys were responded the same, ignored.

As the garment made it to your ankles you made one last attempt to reason with beetlejuice

"Beetlejuice please, this isnt like you, just stop and we can just forget this-"

Before you could finish that sentence, as soon as the damp garment was free from your form, the ghoul vanished.

You prop yourself up on your forearms, glancing around the empty room, you slowly sit up on your bare bum, waiting, waiting for another knock down, ments pass and nothing.

You slowly and carefully get up off the floor, glancing around as you walk over to your pajama pants that were tossed aside, you gently slide them on, still staying vigilant.

As the night goes on you're on high alert, waiting to be tackled down or something, but as time dragged into the early early morning, it clicked, beetlejuice wasnt going to do anything else, you finally sigh in relief, and try not to think about how he vanished AFTER your underwear were removed, and missing completely, you assumed they would have wound up as the same place as where your pants were thrown, unless, he took them with him, you cover your mouth and stare at the floor, you paise for a moment, mind swimming with all the lewd things he could be doing with them, this didnt help how you were all hot and bothered from the ghoul's early actions.

Slipping into bed that night, knowing beetlejuice was gone, you felt okay to tend to those desperate feelings between your legs, you carefully pull out your hidden vibrator and gingerly slip it beneath the covers and eagerly bring it to your desperate sex.

Of course

You werent the only one tending to a desperate need.

Beetlejuice now on the roof of your apartment building, a mix of purple and pink have taken over his form, your panties held tightly in his hand.

Did he feel like shit for losing control and jumping you? Yes

Was he glad your dumbass forgot and called him anyway so he could smell you and feel your soft warm skin? Also yes

Sitting on the edge of roof, not that anyone could see him, he takes the freshly woren garment to his nose and inhales the scent of your excited sex, the purple from the demon's hair is quickly replace with a mix of pink and magenta.

"You smell so good baby" he growls

His free hand fumbles with his pants trying to free his full erection, hell the moment he saw your face he was ready to go.

This wasnt the first time beetlejuice went into heat, not by a long shot, but it WAS his first time going into heat knowing you, and fuck, you were all he wanted.

Having you call him, smelling you, seeing you, feeling you, hearing your sweet voice, hes honestly surprised he didn't blow his load while he was humping that cute rump of yours, he drools remembering how he could feel your warm bum against his cold cock, the demon could only imagine how glorious your pussys warmth was gonna feel.

The night was long and lonely for the demon but the memory of you beneath him and the scent of your desire was enough to keep him content, bit next heat cycle? The demon will have you in his pocket and ready to help him out.

Bonus

Sunday

You wake up late and head to the kitchen to make a cup of coffee and start your day, at the little table you had in your little kitchen sat beetlejuice, across from him was a hot and ready cup of coffee

"Morning" the ghoul said plainly, giving you an awkward smile, hints of purple popping up in his hair

"Morning" you respond softly sitting down across from the demon and accepting his 'peace offering'

The two of you sat in silence for what felt like an eternity before beetlejuice breaks it

"So about the other night-" he starts, averting your gaze and rubbing the back of his neck.

"Its fine, you werent yourself, you warned me, and I forgot"

The ghoul stares back at you, bug eyed and dumbfounded, was it really gonna be this easy?

"I guess you're back to yourself huh?" You try to make a positive note to this awkward situation

"Uh yeah, just kinda horny, not full on horny" he chuckles rubbing the back of his neck.

This was gonna be an awkward bump to get over.

#beetlejuice x reader #muscial beetlejuice x reader #nsft

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bluejaytaco · 3 years

Text

(We returned to the session with all party members floating in the waters of Fransland. The bar has “Welcome to my realm” written on it in blood. Outside of it there are strange, humanoid creatures walking around. We're in the water, Theodora had a young elf boy knocked out on her back and Art has Reita clinging to him because she doesn't know how to swim.

The water is, however, strangely buoyant.)

Theodora:(immediately swims over and hugs Koejin) I'm never letting you go again.

Koejin: (hugs back) yeah... uh, no more jumping through strange portals for a while.

Alabaster:(casts waterwalking and walks over to Art) Hello, my friend!

Art: (jumps at the sight) Holy Jesus! Hi, hello!

(We all end up swimming to shore and catching up a little bit. The creatures were something Team A was dealing with while we were in the separate universe. From the distance, some of us can see that the creatures are all attached to one cloaked figure sitting off to the side.)

Koejin: (shoots an arrow at the figure and hits it right in the head. The head pops off and rolls closer. It's Skelly)

Skelly: What the Hell?! What just happened?! Who shot me?!(all his minions just kinda stand around his head) Don't just stand there! Reattach me!

Theodora: Skelly?

Skelly: (After his head's back on, he notices us) Oh, hey guys!

Hennessy: What're you doing here?

Skelly: I don't know. Just one minute I'm minding my own business, the next I'm here with these guys (gestures to the shambling forms) Just making friends and hanging out.

Theodora: Are they.... friends by choice? (stares pointedly at the tethers)

Skelly: They're friends by MY choice!

Theodora: How long have you been here?

Skelly: A day... A week... two years and five minutes? Ehhhh....

Art: (moves to explore the tavern)

(As he moves closer, a giant red claw comes up and climbs onto the roof. Mrs. Red glares at the party. Koejin also notices humanoid Mrs. Red is on her back. Dragon Mrs. Red rears back and uses her fire breath on everyone, successfully melting Skelly into a pile of ash.

We also have a new party member, Jaquine. She is not as high of a level as us, so the blast would kill her.

But then a large tiefling woman jumps in and takes the brunt of the burn for Jaquine. She looks.... very familiar. Despite the fact that we've only really met like two tieflings.)

Tiefling woman: Everyone, inside! Now! (Jumps up on Dragon Red's face and they fly away.)

Koejin: Uh, yeah! Let's go!

Alabaster: (moving over to bring Skelly back to life)

(Skelly is now a strange pile of moving ash. He hasn't regained his original form.)

Vincent: Yesss.... burn.... (This is like... the third time he's gotten excited about some violence.)

Hennessy: Alright! You and me! We gotta talk!

(We go inside the bar to see a scawny looking white dragonborn behind the bar, cleaning a glass. Aside from him, there's only one other patron; a woman passed out in a puddle of her own drool with long, rainbow hair.)

Art: (eyes the bartender) Hey there... I'm Art... and you are? (he already knew the answer)

Dragonborn: (smiles creepily) Oh, hi! I'm Eltbalm.

Art: Right, right. (looks over at the passed out woman and frowns as he realizes it's Thia. He walks over to her)

Reita: (runs to Wreybar and points at a hole in the wall. She then dives for it and pulls out a rat. She tears the rat in half and hands part of it to Wreybar.)

Wreybar: Is it a gift or food?

Reita: (nods and bites into her half)

Wreybar, grinning: Thank you!

(Me: I'm a good big brother for letting this happen.)

(For a moment, we cut to Hennessy and Vincent talking to each other about the way he's been acting. Vincent, after being kidnapped and just all around having a shitty time, has adopted the whole idea of killing in order to make the world better. But, after a bit of talk, he's feeling a little better. Hennessy talks about how Theodora, Koejin, and Alabaster would be able to help him with whatever he needs to feel safe again. That seems to help.)

(Meanwhile, Art is gently shaking Thia awake. He gets her to snap her head up but that's about it. He gestures to Eltbalm to get them some water for her.

We all try to get her to wake up and talk with us, but to no avail. However, all of us agree that this might be the best time for a long rest. But before that)

Hennessy: Art, can I speak to you?

Art: Uh... yeah. What's up?

Hennessy: Your sister. She's still got that pink stone embedded in her back, right?

Art: Yeah... we haven't been able to remove it... why do you ask?

Hennessy: Well, while we were all superpowered by the gods, I came across a spell that might be helpful. We could create a clone copy of Reita and remove the stone from her original body. Then, if anything were to go haywire, then we can put her essence into the clone.

Art:.... I want you to think about this for a second.. Put yourself in my shoes and Vincent in Reita's.... would you still trust it?

Hennessy: If it means saving his very life and the lives of millions, then of course!

Art: Don't get me wrong; I'm not saying no. It's just... a lot. And, I mean, it's not like we can do it right now anyway, right?

Hennessy, seeing that Art doesn't fully trust the idea: Yes, but... to ease your worries... it might help to keep in mind we have a genuine necromancer on our side. (Gestures to Alabaster)

Alabaster, seeing that gesture and looks over to find out whats going on: Hello, yes!

Art: You're a necromancer now?!

Alabaster: Why yes. It's an interesting tale but yes. And I would be able to help your sister, given the situation!

Art: (looks at the Skelly blob then up at Alabaster tensely. He then turns back to Hennessy.) It's not something we can do now anyway so....

(Everyone took a look at the stone. Hennessy discovered it was an ancient magic while Art recognized it as tiefling magic. Theodora offered to cut the magic and see what might come of it, but Art was afraid it might hurt Reita. He might be a little over protective.

This is around where we took our rest. As we're rested and trying to figure out our next move, the tiefling woman steps in through the door. She has in her hands the fifteen foot battle axe and is covered in blood. She walks up, demands a beer from Eltbalm, and walks back over to the table where Thia is still passed out. As she takes a sip, she gestures to all of us to gather around.)

Tiefling Woman: Must be pretty confusing for all of you.

Art: That's putting it lightly.

Tiefling Woman: So, let's start with an introduction; I'm Elsie. Elsie Red. I'm the only form of Mrs. Red here that's a tiefling.

Art: ...yeah, why are you a tiefling?

Elsie, shrugging: Don't know. Don't have any memories of anything outside of here. But, hey! I gotta gift for you (looks over at Eltbalm) Hey, you! Go get her. And you better not have touched her!

Eltbalm: Aww, but- (interrupted by the battle axe embedding itself in the wall next to him) coming up!

(Eltbalm disappears for a moment and returns with a bound Mrs. Red. It's our Red; missing tongue and all. He sits her down next to Elsie.)

Hennessy: Elsie, is your story anything like our Red's? It's quite the tragic tale.

Elsie: I don't know. I dont remember. That smiling bastard sent me and all these reds here. It's like we're some kind of experiment or something.

Theodora, nodding: Sounds like Ticket Master, alright. He is quite an asshole.

Hennessy, turning to Red: Do you still have the diary I returned to you?

Red: (nodding in her condescending, mean girl way)

(Art tries to reach into her satchel in order to show Elsie only to get bitten for the trouble.)

Art: Ow, hey! You bitch!

Red: (glaring at him)

(Art gives Elsie a rundown of what they know about Red's backstory. It sums up to Red ending the war and starting her reign of terror after the death of Eltbalm. At that, he points to the scrawny dragonborn at the bar.)

Elsie: Uhhh, no. I remember being married to a tiefling woman. He's not really my type....

Art: Our Eltbalms haven't looked like that. They're more....uh... Koejin, describe Eltbalm.

Koejin: Oh... He's just so hunky and buff. He's covered in shiny white scales. Like, a beautiful man just... (chef's kiss)

Elsie: Yeah, still no.

(We eventually decide that our Red's inability to speak was making this hard. So, we ask Vincent if there's anything he can do.

Turns out, DM rolls high enough to where Vincent pulls out a mechanical tongue.)

Vincent: Now, you gonna go and bite me the moment I go to put this in your mouth?

Red: (nods with a 'Well, duh' look on her face)

Vncent, putting the tongue on the table: Then you can do it yourself.

(Elsie undoes Red's hands and Red immediately dives to put the tongue in her mouth. She doesn't take long to secure it.)

Red, pointing to all of us: Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuuuck you. And a special 'fuck you' to you! (points at Elsie)

Alabaster: Charming.

Red: You took away everything from me and expect me to do anything for you?!

Art: Oh, you mean like what you've been doing to us?

Red: Oh, you fucking little shit. Why the fuck would I care?! You interrupted everything and stopped my ascent to finally killing that smiling asshole you call Ticket Master.

Art: Please, you went toe to toe with him and couldn't take him down.

(We ended up arguing with Red for a while and trying to get her to help us and figure out the parts missing that kept her from doing it. Then...)

Thia: (grabs the empty beer bottle and smashes it against the table. Holds it out to Red) put that to your neck.

Red: (loses control of herself and immediately follows the order) Wha-?

Thia: How do we get out of here?

Red: I- (is comanded to press in deeper. Starts to cry.) I... I don't know. I don't know. I can't remember!

Thia: Then remember.

Red, freezes for a second: I... remember everything...I... (turns to Art) I'm your mother.

Art: I... Wh-wait.... what?

Red: It happened so long ago now. I... Eltbalm and I... were tieflings. We were very much in love. We were happy... Eventually, we were blessed with a beautiful baby. A little girl... but, the land told us, no. Our girl would become a charming handsome boy. Not too long after, we were granted our beautiful, sweet Reita... but... but the war came to our land. They killed Eltbalm, my love. Right in front of me... So I prayed to the land for a way. To stop the war. To protect my children. I was turned into a dragon and given the power to end it all, so I did. And I prayed for a way to bring my husband back. And the land granted me the stones. All parts of Eltbalm.

I didn't know I would be worshipped by our people. I just wanted you to be safe... so, I prayed for a way to the land. And then.... he appeared.

I was so full of rage, but Ticket Master offered me a way. I sold him my soul and I asked that you and your sister were raised by tieflings. To be sure you were kept safe. And he did...

I tried to make it so Reita could be strong like me. Even in my rage and my forgotten memories, I wanted to keep her safe. She was so... helpless. Art, I am so sorry it turned out this way. I lo-

Thia, interrupting the last part: slit your throat.

(Red follows the order and immediately starts bleeding out. Her body collapses on the ground.)

Art: (immediately moves to save her)

Thia: Stop.

Art: (Fails a Con save and is forced to stop)

Theodora: (moves in to heal Red)

Thia: Sit down.

Theodora: (Fails a Con save and follows the order)

Hennessy: Now, wait ju-

Thia: Cover your mouth.

Hennessy: (Fails a Con save and follows the order) Mmmph Rmph!

Koejin: Thia, why're you doing this?

Thia: It's what you guys taught me. you have to kill in order to get to the top. In order to get anyone to listen. To get any type of power.

Koejin:...I thought you just wanted to do drugs and run your bar.

Thia: I did. But then this shit started happening. And you guys started killing generals. And you guided me here. That's when I realized that yes, this is the only way.

Theodora: (trying to do Lay On Hands to Red as Thia's distracted.)

Thia, noticing: Go lay down in that corner, far away from her and don't move.

Theodora:(fails the Con save and does that.)

Art: The leader shouldn't be influenced by their followers.

Thia: I wasn't your leader. Cloak was. And look how much you cared about her death. (glares at Art) not that you're one to talk about not killing. You signed a contract for the God of Death and Deceit.

Art, glaring back: To save my sister.

Thia: still.

Hennessy: (still screaming behind his muffled hands)

Art, casting Sending to get what he was trying to say: Hennessy says "we have been nothing but merciful as instructed." He also said other things, but it got caught off.

Thia: Fine. Remove your hands and speak.

Hennessy: We have been more merciful to everyone of these generals. Green, your own father, was spared and look now! He's one of our strongest allies! Purple returned to their gem under our influence!

Thia: And what about Orange? And Blue? And Yellow?!

Hennessy: Orange was.... an unfortunate circumstance. And Blue gave us no choice. But Yellow; if I recall he willingly died.

Art, tenses: Uhhh, Hennessy...? Yellow was Thia's mother. And she didn't.

Thia, clearly even more angered: I'm starting to think this world needs to be wiped clean so we can begin again.

Art:.... Please don't think that.

(As if hearing her, the roof of the tavern is torn off and there stands Shmoogie. He's staring down at us.)

Shmoogie: Pelor knew you would see the light. (puts his hand down to her) Come now. There's much work to be done.

Thia: (climbs onto the hand)

(Everyone scrambles to look for a way to stop her from leaving with him. In his panic to keep her there, Art uses Black Tentacles to try and pull her out of his hands before she goes out of reach. Thia sees it and tries to order him to stop, but gets smacked in the face by one of them and is now sporting a huge mark near her eye. She disappears through a white portal in the sky with Shmoogie.

But the spell is then released and they can move.)

Art, rushes over to Red, torn in what he's about to do: Okay, I kinda shouldn't care but after all that now I don't want you to die. There's waaaay too many questions to be answered, but you're still an insane bitch. Okay, I'm gonna do this. I'm gonna save the life of my...mother...mortal enemy... fuck.... How the fuck did Alabaster do this? Here we go. (casts spare the dying on Red)

Red: (Alive and no longer bleeding out, but out cold)

Reita: (watching her brother in confusion)

Art, noticing this: Uhhh... hey, uhhh... There's a lot to explain but.... once I understand what's going on, I'll explain it all. Okay?

Reita: (lifts some of her half-eaten rat to her mouth)

Art: (pushes it back down slowly)

(As Art is healing Mrs. Red and talking to Rieta, everyone is discussing the best way to get out of here. Theodora and Koejin have some private talks with the DM and come back, but seem reluctant to do the things they were talking about.)

Theodora, to Elsie: You think you can turn into a dragon and help us out?

Elsie: You're asking this from the only Mrs. Red that can't.

Koejin:... I think I have an idea. (digs through her bag for a gem she had.)

(She summons a carriage labelled Koejin's Brews and it's pulled by a horse with sunglasses.)

Horse: Heeey there, Koejin! Ready to ascend to your position?

Art:... Koejin's a god... I mean, why not? Why the fuck not? (heads to the carriage to immediately drink his face off.)

(We all pile on the carriage to find a fully stocked tavern with plenty of room. Like a bar version of a Tardis. "A Bardis" as Theodora's player starts calling it. And, as we ascend, the bar shakes a little as if experiencing turbulence, but then we end up in a world of light.

It's bright and white. Everything is white. Including the people.

Me: Sooo, Racism?

DM: It's Pelor's realm.

Theodora's Player: So, yeah, racism.)

(As we step off the carriage, we pass by people and see a letter hanging from the gate. On it is written "To Alabaster.")

Alabaster: (takes the letter)

Letter: Alabaster, you used to be so devout and loyal, but seem to have been corrupted by the influences around you. I will cleanse this world of all that is dark. Come see me and will do the same for you. It isn't too late. Not for you and not for your daughter. Come see me, my boy.

Pelor

(Attached to the letter is a picture of Eris, Alabaster's daughter. Pelor is holding her by the head.)

((DM wasn't kidding when he said this would be pretty intense.))

((Koejin's Player: So... I've been hitting on Art's dad...))

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marxiehodgeheg · 7 years

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Death Note (2017)

okay, so I just watched the Death Note movie and damn that shit was

WILD

so im just going to compile some small notes about how bad and how much they fucked Death Note like fuck man

Please Note: there are going to be elements of spoilers in this list so if you are planning on watching Death Note (2017) be aware (but in all honesty please dont watch it just watch the 2006 Anime Adaptation I beg you, I am doing you a solid)

lets begin

ok so first off, this shit is americanised so of course there is a buttload of whitewashing because if you didnt know Death Note is Japanese and set in Japan and the characters are Japanese - please.

Light Yagami is a good boy™ so like how dare you make this shitty bad boy - hes doing other peoples homework please no

the Death Note lands right next to him - um no the Death Note lands 10 feet away from Yagami and outside his classroom stop this

also it starts raining right after he picks up the Death Note - spoooky

white!light finds some bullys who are obviously over school age and so he pulls the child abuse card on them if they were to hit him - he gets decked anyway.

he gets caught with the homework and put into detention and oh no the light went out - creepy factor™ to the max - so spooked

oh yeah, did i mention that this film is rated an 18

so of course theres been swearing and cursing from everyone, even Light - sorry not my Light

best part of the film was white!light shitting himself when he see Ryuk like yes 10/10 A++ content would watch that scene again

white!light also slaps himself and i wanted him to do it more

theres more swearing, i mean i had to settle in for a wild ride with fucks and shits throughout this whole film, but like the anime was only a 15

also Willem Dafoe as Ryuks voice was pretty cool, had a nice ring to it but anyway

he goes to kill older bully because Ryuk says he wants to (obviously hes hesitant) but cant

legit words from the film “i dont have a pen” Ryuk pulls out a pen “well its good you have one” im yeLLING

he writes older bully guys name down but oh no, Ryuk tells him to write down how so guess what

HE CHOOSES DECAPITATION IM SERIOUS YALL THIS IS HIS FIRST KILL NO HESITATION JUST WRITES DOWN DECAPITATION LIKE WHO FUCKEN WROTE THIS

FUCKEN GORE TO THE MAX YOU SEE THIS GUYS HEAD BE FUCKEN RIPPED FROM HIS BODY BY A TRAGIC ACCIDENT LIKE FUCK

by this point i was already like #NotMyDeathNote i mean

dad is introduced, but where is mother and sister - ill tell you where - non existant (mum is dead and there was never any sister)

MORE SWEARING >:(

theres still apples tho and Ryuk still loves them

white!light reads the Death Note rules (well he actually skims them but okay)

comes across some scribble and sees a not “dont trust Ryuk”

HE PRONOUNCES IT RYE-UK NO LIE IM LIKE HOW THE FUCK DARE YOU NO ITS RYUK PRONOUNCED REE-UK FUCK YOU

its okay tho because Ryuk comes out and shuts him down with the correct pronunciation like yas bitch you tell him

ALSO LET ME LOOK AT MY MAIN MAN STOP PUTTING HIM IN THE DARKNESS LET ME SEE HIS FACE NOT JUST HIS EYES

Ryuk suggests shark attacks on the toilet as a not possible example of death - Ryuk i thought you were better than this

angry scribbling of names - damn white!light is mad

AND ANOTHER THING WHERE THE FUCK ARE THE HEART ATTACKS LIKE HE JUST KEPT SPECIFYING THE DEATHS - NO THIS IS NOT HOW IT WORKS YOU DONT NEED TO JUST KEEP WRITING THESE SHITTY DEATHS

you get one look at Ryuk and damn, my man you ugly im sorry they did you like that

okay back at school, watching the team practice and guess what

HES GOT THE DEATH NOTE AND HES READING IT IN THE OPEN IN PUBLIC - BITCH PUT IT THE FUCK AWAY

OH BUT WAIT A GIRL SEES HIM - SHE NOTICES IT AND IS LIKE “oo Death Note whats that” AND HES LIKE “nah its nothing™”

BUT IT GETS BETTER

HE TELLS HER ABOUT IT AND LETS HER READ IT AND SHOWS HER HOW IT WORKS LIKE WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON - MY LIGHT WOULD NEVER DO THIS

I DONT EVEN KNOW WHO THIS CHICK IS BUT APPARENTLY HE DOES AND SHE KNOWS HIM SO IM LIKE WHAT THE FUCK THIS IS SO WRONG - WHO IS SHE?!?!?!

so new girl who im sure is supposed to be Misa Misa says to white!light “lets change the world together” and so these words obviously go straight to white!lights dick because theres sexual tension in the air

“can i kiss you?” “youre not suppose to ask”

she just fucken pins him to the wall shes making him her bitch and theyre kissing ugh my eyes hurt

cut back to school and they in class and they looking at each other like they fucked

then theres more kissing like fucking straight white movie romances am i right

theyre finding a name for the God who will rule the new world

of course its Kira like what else is it going to be

“Kira means light in celtic” and then quickly “also its similar to the word killer in Japanese” like damn bitch i wonder why you quickly said that - oh yeah because Death Note is actUALLY JAPANESE

im so fucjing done with this film

but now the death victims are leaving perfectly written Japanese messages on the walls like this doesnt mAKE UP FOR YOUR SHITTY WHITEWASHING

news time: white boy feels special for getting lots of praise and attention for killing bad guys

were suddenly in Japan in a night/strip club

hooded guy is introduced - hes speaks Japanese - finally we are saved by the Japanese guy who I assume is L

nope L is not Japanese just speaks it just like in the anime

white!light is suddenly angry as detective dad for getting on the Kira case like damn what is your damage

Watari is here but he is not cute and kind looking like in the anime, i am disappointed

white!lights dad talks to L on the laptop - but wheres the garbled voice???????

L is introdu--

L IS BLACK, I REPEAT L IS BLACK - ARREST THAT WHITE BOY BECOME POWERFUL WE ARE SAVED

“rest your glutes” - true words from L. a real line in a real fim

movie!L is just as good and cute as anime!L

nope wait, he actually appears in public himself instead of a decoy - im sorry but i cant have this - not my L

he might have had his face covered and hooded but still - not my L

WHITE!LIGHT IS RUDE - HE TALKS TO RYUK LIKE SHIT - TELLS HIM TO SHUT THE FUCK UP HOW DARE YOU I WOULD HAVE KILLED HIM FOR THAT ALONE

finally found out Misa Misa replacements name

its Mia

some cops walked off a building

i kind of stopped taking as many notes by this point i was just not paying attention

“if you fuck this were not the good guys anymore” - what part of killing people, be they bad or not, makes you the good guys? NONE

L and Light meeting in a cafe

L becomes a cat and pushes shit off the table

“youre the one who flew into the sun, im just the one to make sure you actually burn” - yooOOOOOOO L rekt u

white!lights dad dares to be killed - Mia thinks about doing it but white!light stops her - she gets dumped

she begs for him back

she pulls out the i love you card

it works because of course it would and theyre kissing again - like fuck no bitch you tried to kill my dad get the fuck out

Watari is targeted, his name is written in the book - LEAVE HIM ALONE

apparently people can be spared by burning the page with their name on it, what kind of bullshit

L is angry, he is so smad

L GETS PINNED AGGRESSIVELY TO A TABLE UNHAND HIM YOU HEATHENS

but another fault that L doesnt really get mad, hes actually a cool cucumber im sorry not my L

homecoming dance - really

Mia gives white!light his outfit for it and also a hat with a note saying “i have it”

have what idk

Ls old kids home is creepy™

white!light is wEARING A TOPHAT TO THE HOMECOMING DANCE WHA THE FUCK

it was a decoy trick wow

oh no Wataris page is missing it cant be burned now, WATARI IS GOING TO DIE

Watari dies before he can give white!light Ls real name HA

Take my Breath Away by Berlin plays at the dance - beautiful

oh damn Mia actally outsmarts and FCUKS white!light - she wrote his name in the Death Note

nope wait shes going to burn the page to bring him back fucking

she still fucked him over tho

L is still smad, but now hes got a gun and hes stolen a cop car

theres a mangled L theme going on i swear

smashes through a “drive slow, drive safe” sign - good one L

L finds white!light and chases him on foot

L IS RUNNING I REPEAT L IS RUNNING

PARKOUR

L IS DOWN AND OUT COLD IM

now white!light has the gun

news flash: white boy is having regrets but white girl is living it

its sad™

OH DAMN HE FUCKED HER OVER BACK IM YELLING

theyre on a ferris wheel and then it collapses spontaneously

oh no white boy is having major regret about everything what a shame

bye Mia, bye white!light

oop Mia is dead

L is okay

white!light is in the water

some random sees the washed up Death Note and picks it up

white!light is in hospital - the random returns the Death Note to him

memories of dead girlfriend™

father just now realised that his son is Kira

WHITE BOY SET THE WHOLE FUCKING THING UP - HE TELLS HIS DAD EVERYTHING LIKE FUCK HE MIGHT BE WHITE BUT HE FUCKING SMART

L is still smad but now he had good hard evidence and proof of Kira

Ryuk is laughing and says that humans are interesting

and then get this

IT FUCING ENDS

WHITE!LIGHT LIVES HE FUCKING LIVES AND LIKE IM JUST LIKE THIS IS NOT RIGHT WHAT THE FUCK NO PUT IT RIGHT FUCKING KILL HIM YOU COWARDS AND LET L LIVE

but its okay because there are “funny bloopers” in the end credits

more mangled L theme

im now watching the original 2006 anime and all is well

Death Note 2017 whats that?

#death note #death note 2017 #death note movie #death note movie 2017 #long post #very long post #ive never written a post this long befoe holy fucj #please readthi s im funny #its good #please dont watch thi movie its so bad #personal #im very tired #notmydeathnote

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