🍁
you are where...
...you are supposed to be right now.
this doesn't mean that you couldn't have gone higher or further. it only means that at this point in your journey, this exact spot is what works best for your past, present, and future. believe in your present.
however it may be, good or bad, the present is the most real thing in your life right now ✨
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everyday i have to face the fact that i don’t belong here
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They say lavender softens anxiety/ and I wonder whether I can plant a garden/ so dense in your mind/ that the knots in your chest unravel/ and never tighten again.
Jasmine Kaur
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“
it’s my first day at work.
my boyfriend takes a picture of me like it’s the first day of school.
i’m business casual
airbrushed skin
hair just washed
dark circles
empty fucking eyes.
it’s my first day at work.
i’m paraded around the office, plastering a smile on my face that even i don’t believe.
i don’t remember anyone’s name.
every second dedicated to train
i’m pretending like i don’t spend every single second agonizing over what happened.
it’s my first day at work.
i get 2 read the handbook full of mission statements, safety protocols, and
i get 2 messages from you asking how i’m doing but i know you don’t mean it, i know you don’t mean it because
i got 2 hours of sleep last night because i was waking up next to a man who was not my boyfriend or trying to sleep off the worst hangover i’ve ever had or desperately combing through my memories to figure out what the fuck happened because all i remember is black or at the hospital getting a rape kit until 1am or in my bedroom putting my sheets and new clothes into evidence bags or in my boyfriend’s room pretending like i was sleeping when really all i could do was stare at the wall.
it’s my first day of work!
i get 2 read about rape.
victims get 2 weeks to recover
i haven’t even been here for 2 days.
”
— kdf // i will never again be the person i was before and i will forever resent you for that.
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It took me a life time to realize I will never have my parents' validation no matter what I do. That I won't be heard, nor be embraced. Now that I have finally broken free, I desperately want another life to live without these metal chains around my neck.
-Nassy H.
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Just a reminder that a true friend doesn't suggest you swallow your feelings and move on with your life when something is bothering you. They are the ones who push you to open up, to deal with issues head on, and to progress. They are the ones who understand that anxiety is not self-made, it's not asked-for, and it's definitely not attention-seeking. They are the ones who are not afraid to admit they may not understand what you're experiencing, but they trust that you do and that you know what the best way for yourself to cope is.
Don't settle for anything less than a TRUE friend.
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I desperately cling to all forms of escapism. My thoughts are like little voices that crawl up my spine, into my ear and settle in the back of my mind, whispering everything I'm terrified other people are saying. Everything I already believe is true.
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kawaii sugar glider with happy face and candy sprinkles, my anxiety is chronic but my cuteness is iconic
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