#another one for the washi tape series
Photo
a galaxy
[ID: Illustration of a crow against a dark blue background, a white moon framing its head. The crow's body contains swirls of blue and teal, with gold stars dotted throughout.]
#crow#raven#moon#stars#night sky#galaxy#space#artists on tumblr#Illustration#another one for the washi tape series#acorviart
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My summer shop update is now live! I just added a ton of new earrings and keychains, new red panda stickers, buttons, pins, washi tape, otter prints, and prints of my backyard bird series! And my first shirts!!
AND the red panda figurine that blew up on insta recently. It is one of a kind so be sure to move quickly if you're interested in it!
I will also be running an ongoing sale where if you donate $5 or more to my godson's preschool GoFundMe and send me proof over DM or Email, I will give you a 15% off code! The money goes to a queer, disabled family that could really use the help with another kid on the way so thank you very much to everyone who donates!
Also reminder that Lavender Tier Patrons get 10% off always ;)
#electricart#art#cute art#shop small#sticker shop#earrings#cute earrings#birds#red panda#cats#keychains#washi tape
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masterlist
all fics are posted to wattpad first (don't judge a girlie by her primary upload platform </3)
i write about the stars, boys who are carved like greek sculptures, and the inability to communicate in a healthy, functional manner. and i also like to write about bangtan sonyeondan in relation to all of those things.
WATTPAD // AO3 // KO-FI // CARRD
no translations | minors dni | don't be a dick x
JJK
SERIES
THROTTLE
pairing: boyracer!jk x fem reader - mutual disdain to lovers
synopsis: in which jeon jungkook hates speed limits, the local government, and the way that min yoongi looks at you.
current wc: 160,244
warnings: explicit language, drug usage, violence, dangerous driving, smut, and themes of an adult nature. not a mafia au, but teeters around the edges of it. organised crime and corruption are at the heart of the story. the characters have questionable morals and do dumb shit. be prepared to hate them as much as you love them. jungkook is a tittie luvr. no further questions.
BAD DECISIONS
pairing: bartender!jungkook x female reader | strangers-friends-lovers, fwb
synopsis: it’s simple: write your deepest darkest fears on origami birds and string them up on jungkook’s ceiling. when they fall—which they inevitably will, thanks to his cheap daiso washi tape—you have to face the fear. set it free.
the issue? you’ve a fear of intimacy.
jungkook, a fear of rejection.
and you’ve both got the capacity to make some incredibly bad decisions.
current w/c: 450k
notes: smut, fluff, a lil angst, bartender!jk, student!jk, strangers-to-friends-to-lovers (?), fwb, deal arrangement, undefined relationship (they’re just friends! just besties!!), miscommunication, idiots in love, emotional slow burn, bucket list (a.k.a. the birds
BAD DECISIONS SMUT INDEX
ONE SHOTS
extended - 5k words or more
ONCE THE THRILL EXPIRES
pairing: college!jungkook x female reader
synopsis: your housemate-turned-fwb takes another girl home after a night out
wordcount: 5.8K
notes: angsty, smutty turmoil. it’s not that bad, but it definitely isn’t a happy lil number. fingering, oral sex (f receiving), rimming (f receiving), vaginal sex, doggy, protected (!!) sex, lil spanks, jaykay sorta makes out with her ear???, jaykay is a fawk boy who needs to learn self-control, oc is holding out for something that’ll never happen, multiple partners in one night (jk), jk calls the reader diz (dizzy)
LANDSLIDES
pairing: officeworker!jungkook x female reader (coworkers)
synopsis: jungkook asks you to dog sit over chuseok. he doesn’t ask you to steal the empty spaces in his head, the dreams he’s yet to have, nor the idea of you always just being ‘you’ to him - and yet, like a thief in the night (with his own damn dog as your accomplice), you do.
wordcount: 6.8K
warnings: fluff more than angst, but it’s not clean cut - there’s also a touch of smut. office worker jk, fuck boy (but kind!) jk, mentions of his workplace escapades, oc is dating mingyu (yay), oc sorta fancies jk (boo), solo masturbation (m), vivid thoughts of shagging (jk is a perv! wow! unlike me to write him as randy bastard!), lots of facetime calls, oc and jk are fundamentally flawed as a pairing, genuine friendship, daddy kink? ig? but like kinda sweet?, jungkook has a complex brain house and you’ve been banished to his annexe!! he also has a thing for claw clipped hair lol
ONE SHOTS
short - under 5k words
something borrowed
- mafia au | forbidden love
dance with the devil
- royalty au | former lovers
KNJ
ONE SHOTS
short - under 5k words
back to you
- idol au | exes
KSJ
MYG
SERIES
HUSH
pairing: rockstar!yoongi x female reader | mutual disdain - lovers (but also strangers - lovers? kinda?)
synopsis: in which you work for your brothers band by day and accidentally anonymously sext his bandmate on the regular by night! whoops !
current w/c: 17.5k
notes: okay, where to start with this one lmao, sexting! and i mean… a lot of sexting (so much sexting oc will probably get early-onset arthritis in her thumbs), yoongi is a dick, he also hates nepotism, and in turn, you. oh yeah, you’re jin’s sister, you work with the band on tour. jin, yoongi, tae, jk and joon are in The Scouts aka the hottest band since sliced bread. jimin is their tour manager, hobi works up in the head office (he’s sleazy and i love him). slight love triangle, one-near-footjob (and counting!), eventual smut, a little angst, dating app that is exclusively for celebrities / people in the public eye, one incredibly inconvenient pairing, yoongi calls the oc clementine / clemmie and it’s cuter than it sounds, idk how else to explain this, mistaken identity i guess? although not really? look, just read it lol. smut warnings will be on chapters individually!!
PALLADIUM
pairing: dilf!yoongi x reader // friends to lovers, slowburn, eventual smut
synopsis: min yoongi is urgent.
in the way he bites his nails down to the bed, and the way his sore fingers type out desperate sentences just minutes before deadlines, he is urgent.
how he prepares jaehyun’s day bag before grandma comes by, and how he double checks everything is packed, he is urgent.
the requests for you to watch over jaehyun each and every deadline day are, always, predictably, urgent.
but the way min yoongi falls in love with you is slow. gradual. tepid.
until, like everything with min yoongi, it becomes urgent.
wordcount: 3.2K
notes: three part series, fluff, angst, eventual smut, yoongi is incredibly conflicted, the oc is just as dumbfounded by the way she feels, lots of feelings!!
JHS
PJM
KTH
ONE SHOTS
short - under 5k words
sundae (kinda love)
- childhood friends | angst
#bts fanfic#bts masterlist#byholly#jungkook fanfic#namjoon fanfic#jungkook fanfiction#jungkook angst#jungkook smut#jungkook ff#jk ff#jungkook masterlist#jungkook x reader
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Week in Review: Nov. 19
Hi there! Posting this recap a little later than usual because it was an action-packed weekend and I was a bit off my routine. I hope you had a good week. I’m coming up on a short work week (yay) because of the Thanksgiving holiday, so I’m looking forward to that!
Here's a live look at me only having two days of work this week!
Please indulge me in a quick(ish) story before I get on with the recap. This weekend, we took our daughter to a trampoline park to play (and get her energy out) and while there she made friends with another little girl. They were both playing with something and looked at each other and in an instant they were pals and walked around and bounced together for half an hour.
While I was watching them, it made me think of my time here and the people I’ve met and interacted with. Whether it’s through a reblog, comment, ask, or DM, making friends on here is akin to making friends on the playground (or trampoline park).
It is all so simple when you realize, hey you like this *insert actor, movie, character, very specific gif, etc*? Me too? Now we’re friends. Let’s yell about it! 🙂 In person, I can be reserved and shy, especially when meeting new people, so being on here has all been an exercise in pushing myself out of my comfort zone. I still get so nervous and second-guess myself a lot on here, but I’m going to keep at it because so far it’s brought some laughs, thots, and just overall great conversation to my DMs and beyond.
Ok, now onto the recap and assorted other ramblings…
Fics I read this week:
My TBR list grows and grows - I wish I had more time in the day to read more things. Here’s what I got to this week:
Frankie Morales
Six and a Half Minutes - Frankie’s version by @avastrasposts - Welp, Mel, I can honestly tell you now that when I’m cooking and have a timer on I will be thinking of this.
Javier Peña
Dry Run by @chronically-ghosted - Javi dancing …. The descriptions in this are top-notch!
Joel Miller
Medicine by @goodwithcheese - Like I said in my reblog, my brain short-circuited a bit with a mention of Joel with wet hair, but this was really a beautiful piece!
Dieter Bravo
Thrash Metal and The Bow Tie by @morallyinept I needed a cold shower after Trash Metal. I mean, the header image alone 🫠 and The Bow Tie is a little giflet featuring one of my favorite Pedro red carpet looks.
His Place of Peace by @nerdieforpedro As much as I love a smutty Dieter fic, I’m equally in love with a fluffy one (hi, yes I see Working Title staring me in the face - I haven’t forgotten you).
Benny Miller
Another week of me being absolutely out of my mind feral for this man … I had to channel it with a few one-shots and then some writing of my own.
All I Need by @dameronscopilot - Ok, this one took me on a journey and the smut was smutting on this one for sure.
Ribbed by @mermaidxatxheart - The header graphic for this alone sent me on a bit of a tailspin and then I settled in for a super hot little one-shot.
I also threw an ask over to @musings-of-a-rose and she delivered in spades.
Current Compulsory Series:
These are the series I am keeping up with at the moment.
Delta Palms Tropical Resort (Frankie) by @linzels-blog
I Like the Way You (Frankie) by @undercoverpena
Destiny & Deliverance (Dieter) by @mysterious-moonstruck-musings
Paranoid Heat (Javi P) by @goodwithcheese
It’s Never Too Late (Javi P) by @javierpena-inatacvest Still one chapter behind along with some extras I have on my TBR list!
Posts from the week:
A fun writing challenge popped up that I think is pretty cool! I’ve never written for Javi P before, but if there was ever a time, it is now! Also, check out the awesome header @trulybetty made for it!!
I got my Javi and Joel pencils from by @fuckyeahpaperco! Now there’s more - sticky notes and washi tape!! Mr. Rhoorl may be getting a few links for my Christmas list lol
I got tagged in some fun posts this week. Here’s a little get-to-know-me and an aura quiz.
Feral corner:
Where do I even start … this week was one for the record books and I’m not sure if the feral corner can capture it all.
The Strange Way of Life behind-the-scenes gifsets were almost too much. Like this one and this one. Goodness, I was an absolute mess the day these graced my dash.
It’s hard to pick a top three when it comes to Pedro characters, but this post makes a compelling point for these three.
Young Joel is always on the brain, so this post of just his arms was 🫠 Also, some Young Joel in the morning. If you’re curious about how I picture Counsin Joel in Delta Landscaping, it’s like this.
Some more assorted posts that man me feral: Tim Rockford thots, Black Shirt Javi, a compilation of Pedro boys’ kisses, and Pedro dressed as Dieter sends me. This little moment from The Bubble is just so sweet it almost cured my WT writer’s block.
Garrett Hedlund
Garrett gets his own little spot on the feral corner, because …. Well, I think this post started it all. But then a good Benny gifset always gets me. I still need to watch his new show, thanks to posts like this and this.
Things I watched:
I saw a few things this week - I rewatched Strange Way of Life and still love it. Ugh so good! I was so overwhelmed the first time I saw it, so seeing it again was helpful to pick up on the little things I missed (like Pedro’s tricep).
For a fun throwback, I watched Green Street Hooligans this week. Thank you to @laurfilijames for letting me yell about it. I forgot how much I liked that movie and how hot Charlie Hunnam was in it.
I also went to the movie theater this week to see the new Hunger Games movie. I didn’t read the book, I literally have it sitting next to my desk mocking me because I thought I’d be able to read it before the movie came out. I thought visually the movie was beautiful, but I was a bit confused by the ending. Snow is supposed to be this evil figure in the original trilogy but I didn’t find his turn to be that convincing in this prequel. But maybe it’s because I missed something? I don’t know, the ending felt rushed to me.
Personal Stuff
A month down in my health journey and I’m feeling a lot better! The Thanksgiving holiday will be a big test, but I’m trying to not beat myself up too much and just enjoy it.
I went to a concert this weekend and I had a blast! I really liked Ice Nine Kills before this, but now I’m an even bigger fan. They put on a great show (I loved how campy some of their antics were), and they sound amazing too. Plus, their lead singer isn’t bad on the eyes (again I’m feral AF).
I also finished up my Pedro 2024 desk calendar. I’ll take some pictures when it finally arrives from Shutterfly.
Fic updates:
Gave Frankie some love this week on the latest episode of Delta Landscaping! I was also distracted by Benny this week (and my thots) and put out a Part Two of Are You On Mute. I’ve taken a little writing break, but I miss my characters so I’m hoping to get some writing in this week.
Thank you as always for reading and listening to all of my rambles!
Masterlists
Working Title (Dieter, series, ongoing) | AO3
Delta Landscaping (Triple Frontier, series, ongoing) | AO3
Turbulence (Frankie, one-shot) | AO3
Are You on Mute? (Benny Miller, one-shot) | AO3
Are You on Mute? Part Two
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Silly little thing I made the other week when I was stuck in hospital while I was feeling up to making things. It's litterally just me complaining cuz I was feeling pretty fed up lol. I have been almost entirely in hospital for over a month now with a only few days off. Back home after round 2 of chemo though and hoping not to have a repeat of The Infection I made this about! lol
[ID: A series of images of a small handmade zine held together with washi tape.
Image 1 - The cover, titled "THE HOSPITAL" in big blue all caps. There's some bright pink lines shooting out for emphasis, and little doodles of plasters, pills and a syringe coloured in bright orange.
Image 2 - Page 1 and 2. "I have been in hospital for 5 1/2 days and it has thoroughly SUCKED. I only just got out from 2 1/2 weeks unplanned hospital time and was supposed to have to weeks mostly at home but nope!" In big yellow all caps is written "2 DAYS" with spikey emphasis lines. "I have been in a wonderful variety of pains, experienced many lovely symptoms, and have been bombarded with people and occurences." Written with hearts and pink flowers around it is "Thank You Neutropenia!" Followed by a doodle of a simple person giving a big thumbs up from a hospital bed with a smile and bags under their eyes.
Image 3 - Page 3 and 4. "I'm doing chemo for lymphoma, and the plan was to cut and dye my hair with my siblings like this" an arrow points to a drawing of a bright green mullet haircut with bright pink buzzed sides. There's a bright yellow zigzag shape around it. "Or this" another arrow points to a drawing of a longer bright green mullet with dark green roots. There's a bright yellow zigzag shape behind it. "asap BEFORE my hair started falling out, then when it did I'd buzz it, look like-"
Image 4 - Page 5 and 6. "-a mouldy potato for a bit, then be bald until it grows back after treatment." There's a doodle of a potato with green mould and a little smiley face, and one of a shiney orange egg with wide eyes. Then in big purple caps is written "BUT INFECTION STRUCK" "after my first pass at a haircut. I went to bed, ready to finish it the next day, then BAM! Hospitaled." The word bam has a green spikey shape around it and there's a doodle of an ambulance. "Didn't even get to wash it, so it's been GREASY until today. And now it's falling out." There's another doodle of a hand holding a clump of hair.
Image 5 - Page 7 and 8. "But that brings me to today. The other day, they switched me to a new antibiotic, and last night and today I've been feeling almost normal apart from some little side effects. I'm doing really well compared to how I was. They're saying I might get home tomorrow and I" in big yelloW all caps taking up the next page "REALLY FUCKING HOPE SO!" With lots of green zigzags.
Image 6 - Page 9 and 10. A doodle of a simple figure backed by shadow, with wide, blank, shadowed eyes hunched over the word "UPDATE" written in big purple caps with a shadow underneath. "I did escape. For long enough to have my dinner, then STRAIGHT back into hospital with a high temp. Not neutropenic this time though. Been in about a day 1/2. Hoping to go home later today." a pink squiggle between the pages, then yellow caps saying "UPDATE 2" "I AM HOME!! I have lit candles. I am chilling. I got mcdonalds on the way home :) There's stuff I need to do, but that's for later. Just gonna enjoy the peace while it lasts. AND THUS ENDS THE HOSPITAL ZINE!" There's a little doodle of a couple of green candles and one of a burger and fries.
Image 7 - The back cover. There's a little orange plaster doodle in the corner, and at the bottom it says "Made in Hospital* *mostly" End ID]
#original art#elv talks#long post#cancer tw#hospital tw#sorry if the id kinda sucks#my brain's a little mushy and words are not entirely my friend rn#i hope it's still understandable if you need it#idk why I've been getting such an urge to make things while in hospital lol#it's not a masterpiece but it's fun that i made something i can hold i think that's neat
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Behold! 'Tis I, the mysterious Bagginshield Cryptid, here to visit you with another Bagginshield question. . . What is your favourite piece of bagginshield fanart, and who is it by?
You trying to get me in trouble Cryptid? You think I can just pick one? I've been sweating bullets over this question for days! So instead I will be sharing some links to art I have commissioned and artists I have had the pleasure to work with on various projects.
Don't forget that artists and writers go together like bread and butter. We're all doing the hard work of making fandom a fun place to be❤️
I worked with the amazing and wonderful @consultingpacha during the TSF event. They did this lovely Thorin piece for my fic You Should Be Safe With Me.
I commissioned this saucy Bilbo art from the stupendously talented @aimless-passerby for my Happy Accidents series
and the first ever commission I did that is my Icon and banner @tsuyonpuu who's art is now peppered around my house due to the fact that I raid their store every time they're not sold out. I have their line of washi tape on EVERYTHING in my home at this point.
Razzy has gotten me addicted to commissioning art and I can't wait until you all see the amazing things the future brings ❤️❤️
#bagginshield#the hobbit#tavas art means everything to me#I put that tag only anything remotely tava related to remind them that I adore them#fan art
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Obi-Wan Kenobi: Part II
And here is another one for the series.
Adore the relationship these two have, it's just pure perfection. And yes, that is washi tape in place of the gloves
#obi wan kenobi#obiwan kenobi#star wars#star wars art#star wars prequels#kenobi series#my art#artists on tumblr#chibi#leia organa
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My book habits make the most uptight bookreaders cringe
Photo by Polina Zimmerman from Pexels
One day a "friend" made a Facebook post that was indirectly related to my books. It was about if you have a book series, it should either be all in hardcovers or all in paperbacks, there should be no mixing of any kind. For me, I don't give a fuck. As long as I have all of the books in the series, I'm happy. It will all be read anyways.
Other things I do that piss off those who gatekeep the book community, I write in my own books. Never a library book or books that I'm borrowing from people because I am very much aware that they're not mine. I dogear pages that stand out to me. I leave washi tape/sticky notes everywhere in my hardcovers (I still cannot write in a hardcover to this day, that is my limit.)
I'm not going to tell other readers what they can or cannot do and do the whole gatekeeping and uppity-tight thing. And I'm a bookseller for a living so that lends itself to some credibility. However, I do have to tell other readers that if they have not paid for a book, please don't write in it, spill your drink in it, dogear it, bend it really far back, and other words ruin it because it is not your book. (That is when I do have to do the whole gatekeeping and be uppity tight because I have a business to run still.)
All in all though, if it's your own personal book do whatever you want with it. In the end, it's a private conversation between you and the story and I am not going to interrupt that. If it makes you super duper happy to get multiple editions of the same book, go right on ahead. Again that is between you and the story. If you don't care about mixing your book series with all kinds of formats, go right on ahead because again that is between you and the story. I don't care about the reason at all. I don't care if all you listen to is just audiobooks. I don't care if you go with one e-reader over another. I don't care where you get your books (most of the time.) I just care that you enjoy reading and that you're willing to nerd over it with other book dragons.
And it's also a beautiful thing to see people be deeply affected by storytelling in their own way.
And now the weather:
Bi Wife Energy by Cringe and the Lizards
~ Stacy N. http://dlvr.it/SqMyDj
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9 Wall Art Ideas for Your Space
Premium Print art provides the best wall art framed pictures. The best approach to decorate a place you love is with meaningful memories. Any house may feel more like home with pictures from previous trips, significant life events, holidays, and even simply your candid daily life. Plan out your display before covering your empty walls with framed prints or photo art.
See which of the wall décor ideas below are best for your room to make things even simpler for you.
Create Your Own Art Gallery at Home
A masterfully curated print collection serves as the foundation of gallery walls, which artistically elevate any area. You'll have the ability to add warmth and highlight your individual flair by making your own. Use accent items, such as: to add your own special touches.
a variety of textiles, such as fabrics or canvas prints
a variety of images, from stark black and white to bright, colourful pictures
non-photogenic items such as letters, medals, or flags
Create a photo grid with your prints.
In order to create this kind of wall display, equilibrium must be attained. Before beginning a photo grid or mosaic, confirm that you have:
a ruler or tape measure
a flexible graphite pencil
Double-sided foam tape or washi tape, which are soft adhesives
Plan your photo locations on a floor or table.
Layout the photographs first on a flat surface inside the boundaries of the desired shape. For consistency, measure the space between each print. We advise selecting square photo prints with a similar tone that are all set at the same size.
Once you've created the grid you prefer, carefully mark the locations of each photo on the wall using a gentle pencil. Using your tape, start adding each photo print by starting in the middle of your grid and working your way outward. To make sure the white space is consistent throughout, measure the distance between each print.
Use photo prints in large format
Your subject matter is amplified by large format prints. Large size images normally stand alone, but putting several prints together can be a fun way to exhibit them. Several unusual suggestions include:
Create dialogue by flipping comparable photographs so that they are facing one another so that your images can "talk" to one another.
Save an image as: By cropping the photograph to print as two or three frames, you can create a continuous series of caught horizons, cityscapes, and landscapes. Then, with a space between each print, show it.
Decorative Metal for a Wanderlust Wall
With scenery that is unconstrained by frames, what better approach is there to satisfy your wanderlust? With their realistic, shiny coating, metal photo panels are especially well suited for this. This wall decoration project is easy to complete but really improves any space.
Just make sure your photos completely fill the photo panel for a borderless appearance. We adore this style of lightweight multipurpose wall décor. Print out the most vivid sunset from a previous trip or your most genuine interactions with locals. Combine metal portrait photo decor with slender stacked landscapes for a unique look.
Utilise acrylic wall art to give your space a sophisticated feel.
In contrast to other wall decor options, acrylic wall art gives your imagery depth. The photo's fine details are brought out by its shiny acrylic covering.We advise picking pictures that celebrate intensely hued or vibrant undertones. When grouping acrylic wall art, make an effort to employ complementary colour palettes and photography approaches.
Since acrylic wall art has a mesmerising three-dimensional feel to their exhibition, keep eye level in mind while hanging it. A decent general guideline is 8 inches over your couch or bed frame. This manner, even while everyone else is sitting or taking a nap, you can still enjoy your images.
A selfie with a hashtag
Use a chic shelf to showcase your photos rather than sticking them all on the wall. In your living area, set up a shelf with other sentimental artefacts for selfies. Consider the items that could be kept for these shelves when purging other areas of your home. There may also be a nook for interesting miniature mirrors, ceramic sculptures, or unique artefacts.
These kinds of exhibits are also excellent for showcasing the photo artwork and designs of your kids. Even self-portraits created by your kids have entertaining individuality touches.
Classical Canvas Wall Art
Canvas photo prints can provide warmth to a space that is lacking texture and liveliness. The most popular types of canvas wall art are family and wedding images, but creative artwork provides this classic choice a fresh perspective. For a uniform, balanced impression, try to match the colour of your furniture with the artwork.
A canvas that has been gallery wrapped blends in seamlessly with the wall. This style of photo display is perfect for corridors, breakfast nooks, and other high-traffic areas of your home.
Display of Family Staircase
It might be challenging to get the placement of the photographs on your staircase wall just perfect, so be sure you know where you want them to go. To ensure that the entire image is visible from a distance, make sure that each painting hangs slightly above the outer fence.
Allowing your images to create a tale as a guest to your home ascends the stairs is a great idea. Maybe they're pictures of your kids, who get older as you go higher. Alternatively, perhaps you choose images of your kin from various generations at each stage.
Fireplace Recollections
The ideal location for wall art is on the mantelpiece in the living room. Choose the pictures that are meaningful to you and that you want to share with others since it is already a place for gathering and relaxation.
Select images in sepia, black and white, or with earthy-coloured frames if you want warm neutral tones in this space because many people save their vintage pieces for the fireplace mantel. Visit Premium Print Art to get the best and high quality of printed framed wall art at an affordable price.
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Hello y'all, and happy (late) new year!
You can also read this on Ko-Fi or my website, but it's the same over in those places as it is here.
Good morning, everyone! I’m a few days late, but I wanted to say a quick Happy New Year to everyone. There has been a lot on my plate over the last few weeks between the holidays, filing business taxes, and some personal time with my husband.
So, I haven’t been super loud and open throughout this last month because I’ve been on a semi-hiatus (hiatus from Twitch and heavier video topics, but still illustrating, doing Ko-Fi rewards, and spending a lot of time focusing on practicing and improvement.), but I wanted to touch base today with some of the things going on here at Conquer Thy Fear Studio and with me.
Twitch
It’s a little bit later than I originally planned for my return, but I’ll be coming back to Twitch the week of January 10th. This is because I’m waiting on new internet to be installed here at our house; they originally were going to install on the 27th but we had a pretty massive snow storm that completely threw that out as an option. With any luck, they’ll be here in the afternoon on the 6th and I can have time to cancel the other internet provider and return the equipment. Mentally, I’m in a much better mindset than I was back in November and I needed this break desperately. I don’t know if this will be a yearly thing or not, but it’s shaping up to likely be that way. Maybe not the entire month every year, but at least the later half of the month for the holidays. We’ll see how I feel when we get to that point of this year.
For now, I’m setting a soft schedule— I won’t be sticking strictly to a schedule this year for Twitch, but you can look for me on Tuesdays and Thursdays from 3pm-7pm CST. I may pop up without notice, or I might make my schedules week by week based on what I have to do work-wise. The Tuesdays and Thursdays will likely always be art, but I’ll try to pop up with gaming from time to time. I miss you all, and I’m excited to be coming back! We’ll see how this goes.
Classes
Back in November, I released a free class on Youtube talking about art fundamentals and where to start . Well, keep an eye out because I’ll be making a followup video soon! With any luck, it will be out on January 20th, 2023. This one will be talking about anatomy, proportion, and perspective— all really important fundamental concepts that are slightly more intermediate than the first ones I covered. I’ll likely be writing another newsletter around then, and I’ll link to the video when I do. This is going to wind up being a series of free classes that are available on Youtube, so I hope that you enjoy! This will go on for a while.
Pretty soon here, I may also be creating some paid classes that go a little bit more in-depth as well, but I’ll touch on that a little more in a bit.
Conquer Thy Fear Studio, LLC Store
The shop on the website is back up! I have mostly some small things like stickers and patches in the store for now. Be sure to check it out here if you’d like to own some merch! Most of the stuff that I’m selling in the shop is self-sourced, so it may take a little bit to get to you, but I also have some print on demand stuff in there that are professionally made from vendors I trust. I’m hoping to start working with some vendors to make some notebooks, washi tape, more stickers, and some other stuff to get in the store. Pretty soon I’ll also have art prints there as well, so if that’s something you’re interested in, keep an eye out!
One of the goals that I have for this year is to also have some courses available for sale through the shop. These will be announced ahead of time, and also likely have extra materials that come with them. They will be a bit more in-depth than what I post on Youtube, so if you’re interested in learning my process or something from me, keep an eye out and I’ll announce in the Newsletter when those pop up!
The Last Month + Upcoming Goals
This past month, with the break that I took, I leaned really hard into getting some other things done that had kind of fallen to the wayside or been on hiatus for a while. I started working on On Broken Wings a little bit more intently, and also cemented a bi-weekly Youtube schedule. These are things that are really important to me, because I don’t want to let your guys down by not sticking to what I promise. But, I also did a lot of soul-searching this past month on what is important to me and what I aspire to do here. Above all, my goal with building this platform and our little community is to make sure that people feel like they aren’t alone. I want people to be inspired, and I want to show people that if you fall in love with the process of creating, you can do anything. And I also want to make good art that fulfills me and helps others to see themselves in it, or to feel like they are seen and appreciated.
Part of making good art is practicing, and I gave myself a lot of time to just experiment with my art and also gave myself permission to just relax and not pressure myself to finish everything I touched. I also did a lot of practicing and going back to basics with my drawing goals, as well as practicing my fundamentals. One of the results of that is this:
This, my friends, was the 100 faces challenge. The goal was to draw 100 faces, lines only, in 10 days. So, this is what I got done! Some of these are better than others, and some definitely would look better with shading/having been rendered, but I was pretty proud of the accomplishment. I learned a lot doing this. Talking about this is leading me into one of my goals for this current year. I’ll be picking several of these to start trying to digitally paint; at least one from each day. I want to get better at digital painting, and the only way I’ll be able to do that is if I actually practice digital painting. Don’t be surprised if you see some of these again on Twitch, or posted throughout the next coming months. I’m excited to lean into the adventure and to refine my skills.
I spent a lot of December planning what I want to do for the coming year, and a lot of this in terms of work boils down to these three main points:
Start polishing my portfolio and applying for studio work
Make more content that people enjoy and market it better, as well as marketing my support spots better.
Show my gratitude to my audience and make sure that people know that they are loved.
I have a bunch of actionable goals written out for these things, but I won’t bore you with the details of all of that. At the end of the day, I know what’s important to me and I want y’all to feel it, as well.
Closing Thoughts
This is actually much shorter than I expected to be, I tend to be very wordy when it comes down to it, but I think that ultimately, I just wanted to touch base and make sure y’all had a joyous set of holidays. I know the holidays can be really rough for a lot of people, including and especially people who don’t get along well with their families, and my heart goes out to you. Lets walk into this new year slowly, and take the time we need to allow ourselves to really get our goals accomplished the way we need to. It doesn’t matter if you attack them vigilantly, or if you slowly pick at them and get them done a little bit at a time. Progress is progress.
So until I talk to y’all again, I love y’all. Drink some water, give yourself some grace, and do what you can.
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bad decisions - jjk | eight
"God, what's wrong with us?" He laughs, still tapping the side of your head with his foot. It's annoying, but you let him.
"Fear of intimacy and fear of rejection," you muse. "Make quite the pair."
He smiles in such a way that it doesn't feel like a smile, but he hopes that the hormones will play tricks on him. Will convince him that he's happy. "Anyways, I keep the birds up as a reminder, I guess."
"Of?"
He just shrugs. "Gotta set people free."
It's a nice idea. One you think you'd quite like to indulge in, too.
"You got any more paper?"
"Fuckin' loads. Accidentally ordered, like, a thousand sheets."
Your voice is delicate as you say, "Show me how to make them?"
Bad Decision #8 - Washi Tape
warnings: THE BIRDS!!!! the most important plot device of the story!!, mentions of jk's former fwb (grimacing as i type)
soundtrack: are we having any fun yet? - larkins; beach side - kings of leon; toroka - christian kuria
wc: 8k
bd total wc: 370k (on-going)
minors dni | wattpad | series masterlist |
When Jungkook wakes up in a dark room, he's confused. He never sleeps in pitch-black darkness. Even when his curtains are drawn, he usually has a lamp running throughout the night. It projects a galaxy onto his ceiling. Makes him feel like he's surrounded by stars.
Had no need for it last night, mind you.
After all, you were there. He was already surrounded by stars.
But now, he's not.
His eyes hazily focus on the pile of pillows next to his bed. He's kind of glum when he notices you're no longer buried within them. Pouts. Thinks you've done it again.
Thinks you've succumbed to your typical routines; done to him what was so unfairly done to you in the early hours of that very morning.
Would make sense, and yet he still feels a little vexed. Feels like it's a bit of a dick move on your part. Thinks that at the very least, you could have woken him to say goodbye.
He can't bring himself to be annoyed though. Is too concerned. Fears that the cold light of day will have left you embarrassed about your upset, and more than anything, he doesn't want you to lament the choices that led you to his place.
Doesn't wanna be another one of your bad decisions.
But then his bedroom door clicks open, and he closes his eyes, trying to pretend as if he'd never been mentally chewing you out for 'leaving'.
He's lethargic as he turns to hook a leg over his duvet, rolling onto his front. He's in shorts, the shirt he'd gone to bed in discarded during the night after he'd gotten a little too hot.
It's bunched up next to the towel that's crumpled by his head. He's not resting on it anymore, but it was always inevitable. He gets restless in his sleep.
Back broad, the ridge of his spine is on full display, muscles framing his skeleton like a work of art. He's got the kind of body the Greeks would have sculpted; Renaissance artists would have painted. Maybe one day you'll fill a canvas at the cafe with a study of his back.
He groans, an incoherent murmur sounding in his throat as he rubs his face into his mattress.
"Thought you'd left," he grumbles, voice slow and lethargic, eyes still closed. This is exactly why he sleeps with his curtains open. It makes it so much harder to stay in a state of slumber when he's being blinded by sunlight.
By the door, you're smiling. "Sorry. Didn't leave. Just went to get some water."
"Gimmie."
He pushes himself up, palms flat on the bed as he twists to face you.
Your hair is a little lopsided from where you've slept on it, but his is just the same. Even worse, maybe. In fact, he actually looks like he's just stuck a fork in an outlet with how unruly it is. His eyes are puffy, and he really doesn't want to keep them open, but he's trying to get a read on your mood.
He's pleasantly surprised to find you smiling, delicate as you tiptoe around his bed with two glasses of water. "Here."
Sitting up, duvet pooled around his waist, Jungkook takes the glass from you with two hands and chugs on it as if he's spent his dreams in the Sahara without a flask. The way he glugs it down is actually concerning - and the fact he doesn't stop until he's practically poured all of it down his gullet? You're surprised he doesn't drown himself.
He finishes with a slight gasp, and when he opens his eyes again, they're not as puffy as they once were. "Cheers."
You've only taken a single sip. Too busy looking at him with sheer bewilderment.
"Thirsty?" You laugh.
"Nah," he grins. The lies he tells are so sweet when he's looking at you like that. Makes you want to believe them. "Not in the slightest. Sleep alright? What time is it?"
"Really well, actually," you nod, taking a sip on your water as you sit back down into your pile of pillows. You notice his lack of cushions, and toss one up to him. It lands in his lap with a soft thud. "And it's just gone eleven."
He grumbles, taking the pillow beneath his arms, on top of his lap. No matter how late he gets home from work, he hates sleeping in late. Feels like he wastes his days. So much life to live in such a short amount of time. Wants to make the most of it.
"Not fancy the gym today?" You ask as he rubs his eyes, trying to shake himself from his drowsy slump.
"Figured you didn't need it," he says with an indifferent shrug. His lip ring glistens in the small stream of light that creeps in through the gap in his curtains. You lean around to pull one of them open a little further. He winces. Whines. "Bright."
"I didn't need it?" you ask, a little confused by what he means, ignoring his discomfort from the light. It's not like his visits to the gym have anything to do with you.
"You're not hungover," he shrugs, letting his body relax back down onto his mattress, pillow now beneath his head. "You don't need to walk it off."
"But you work out without me," you remind him. "Still could have gone."
He snorts now, eyes closed, lips pouting as he purrs a jibe in your direction. "I always workout without you, because you don't actually work out-"
"Fuck off, yes I do."
"Don't," he grins, opening one of his eyes, just to ignore the outrage on your soft features. He's glad you're eating up his bait. He's trying to move the direction of the conversation. Doesn't want to have to explain that he actually stayed home from the gym so that you wouldn't have to wake alone again. Would rather his kindness go unnoticed. "It's fine, though. Had a late night last night. I can go this evening instead. No work."
"Sorry," you whisper as you throw him a smile, aware that you've disrupted his plans, but he just shakes his head.
"S'cool," he shrugs. It's no hardship. No skin off his back. "Honestly."
His toned muscles tweak in the morning light as he reaches for his shirt, and you find yourself looking away. It's not like there's any need for it - his body is probably the thing he's most confident of - but the fact he's trying to cover himself makes you think that maybe you're seeing something you're not supposed to.
There are a couple of tattoos he'd rather not explain, and a tiny white scar just below his ribs from a wheelie gone wrong during his childhood, but nothing too revealing.
Still, you're in his space, and that in itself feels incredibly personal. Not uncomfortable, just a little less casual now in the broad daylight that's pouring in through his windows than it had been in the dark of night.
"I should probably get out of your hair," you offer, not wanting to overstay your welcome.
Jungkook disagrees. Thinks you're perfectly welcome. "No rush."
"It's fine," you smile, pulling your hair from the bun it's tied in and shaking it out. It smells like strawberries. Smells like Jungkook. "I really appreciate you being around last night. The least I can do is not derail your entire Sunday."
He wants to say that taking an alternative route wouldn't be derailing, and that it really doesn't matter if he ends up at the same destination, but locomotive metaphors feel lame, and he also doesn't wanna have to explain that chess wasn't the only slightly nerdy pastime he'd indulged in a child.
So instead, he just says, "If you're sure?"
Your clothes hang over the back of his desk chair, just as slouchy and comfy as the shirt of his you're wearing, but somehow a little less appealing. He reaches over for them and tosses them your way, because he doesn't want it to look like he'd quite like you to stay.
Just feels bad that you'll be going back to your apartment, knowing it will smell like your ex. Knows that the reality you ran away from will be just the same as you left it. The bed will still be unmade, the clothes Seokjin had stripped you of will still be crumpled on your floor. Maybe the indent of his head will still be on your pillow, condom wrapper still by the foot of your bed. The sound of his laugh could be trapped beneath your duvet, the feel of his hands on your skin could be heavy in the stale air of your unventilated bedroom.
Should have opened a window before you left.
And Seokjin never should have left in the first place, but it is what it is.
"I'll let you get changed," Jungkook says, drawing you from your senseless thoughts, eyes soft, not really waiting for a response before he heads for his door.
You say a small thank you, but it's muffled slightly by the way it catches in your throat. He doesn't acknowledge it, slipping out of his room without turning back.
He's conscious of the fact that you've been rolling dice and landing on chance cards for a little while, now. Your friendship had been chalked up to lucky encounters and serendipitous endeavours.
Last night was much more deliberate. Felt like you'd looked through the chance cards before picking one: Go to a square of your choice. Collect £200 if you pass go.
He doesn't have a full set of cards yet. Can't put down houses, nor hotels - but you landed on the waterworks last night, and he landed on the electricity company. You're level. Both winners; both losers.
Muffled chatter has you slightly on edge as you hear Jimin's sleepy voice spliced in conversation with Jungkook's. Hadn't considered how strange it could look for you to be leaving Jungkook's room, when all three of you know the last time you'd been in their apartment, it was Jimin's room that you'd tried (and failed) to sneak out of.
And while there's no need for you to sneak around now, you know it will look a little precarious if you slink out of Jungkook's room with a look upon your face that will no doubt reek of guilt.
It's not because you've done anything wrong, but just because you understand the dynamics of friendship. If Jimin emerged from Danbi's room without warning, you'd be a little confused. Not upset, per se, but definitely awkward. It's easier for everyone if your current whereabouts are unknown.
You fold Jungkook's shirt neatly and smooth his bed sheets, trying to make his room look a little bit more presentable.
As you're stacking the mountain of pillows towards the top of his double bed, you can hear Jimin query where the sofa cushions have gone. Jungkook lies. Says he was building a fort for gaming. Promises he'll bring them back - but Jimin just says not to worry. He'll bring his pillows from his bedroom into the living room for the time being. Jungkook can keep the fort up.
There's a smile on your lips. It's nice to hear them chatter; nice to hear Jimin in a normal setting outside of a club or a bedroom. Even nicer to hear that Jungkook is just as tender with his housemate as he is with you. He's kind. You think it's your favourite thing about him.
Which is strange, because normally kindness makes you run for the hills - but as you cross your legs, sitting at the end of his bed, you realise there's no need. The reason you're not running is because Jungkook isn't chasing you. He walks alongside you, like your shoelaces are tied together.
Maybe one day you'll trip, but for now, you have a good pace set.
When he returns to his room, he's holding a finger to his lips. Shush, Byeol. Keep quiet.
And yet he vaults a packet of crisps at your face without much thought. The thick plastic crinkles against you, and Jungkook finds himself in a state of pleasant surprise from the impact, brows raised, mouth circled like a polo.
You say a thousand words with just a single gasp.
"Sorry, sorry," he whispers with a hushed giggle, the door now shut, realising how much he underestimated his throw. His palms are raised like he's holding white flags until he reaches the bed. You go to kick him, but he catches your ankle just in time. "Hey, hey!" He's still whispering. "I said I'm sorry!"
His thumb strokes against the bone of your ankle as he apologises, and the sweetness of his smile is hard to resist. You yank your leg back from his grasp and narrow your eyes.
"Couldda blinded me."
"Don't be dramatic."
"Never tell a dramatic girl to stop being dramatic, Jungkook. You don't know what you'll unleash."
He rolls his eyes and flops down onto his bed beside you. He's looking up at those damn birds again - so you do the same. His patchwork arm folds behind his head, ink-free arm resting over his stomach as he waits for you to shuffle into a comfortable position. There's only a little distance between the pair of you, but it's enough to reinforce that line you've drawn in the sand.
"Jimin's just put The Notebook on," he says without much animation, as if it were an inevitability he saw coming.
"So..."
"So, it means two things," he says with absolute certainty—because it was an inevitability. "Number one? He didn't get laid last night."
You laugh, not picturing Jimin as much of a romantic- especially when you know how he likes to fuck. Must have been why he offered you the chance to stay over. It could be that your least favourite part of a hook-up - the intimacy - is his favourite.
"And two?"
"Two is that we've got two hours until he leaves the living room."
"Shit."
Jungkook turns his head to face you, seemingly affronted by your exclamation. "Ouch. Rude. My company isn't that bad."
You let your gaze drop to meet his, the side of your head now resting on his duvet. You smile. "Yes, it is."
"Dickhead," he laughs, but doesn't let his gaze linger on yours for too long. Something so damn fascinating about those birds. "Nah, it's up to you. If you really have to get gone, I don't mind telling him you're here. I don't think he'll make it weird, or anything.
"I'd rather not," you admit. "Just means... explaining things, doesn't it? Don't really want a guy I hooked up with once knowing the ins and outs of my dating life."
He nods. Understands. Things are simple between the pair of you, but there are complexities when it comes to your mutual friends.
"Told him I'm not feeling great, so he's not gonna disturb me for a bit. I'll get Netflix up on my desktop or something, you can watch whatever you fancy. I've got some coursework to catch up on, so I'll be doing that."
You watch Jungkook as he reaches over you with a muffled sigh. He's retrieving the iPad from his nightstand. He's never mentioned his studies before, but there's something incredibly confusing about the concept of him—bartending gym rat, heavily tattooed Jungkook—doing homework.
But then you're feeling bad again, knowing surely you'll be a distraction to his day.
"Sure you don't wanna use your desktop for your coursework?"
"Nah, nah," he smiles and raises the tablet. "S'what I use in class. All my notes are on here."
It's the first you've discussed his studies. Didn't even realise he was still in school. Still so much to learn about one another. It's okay, though. You've all the time in the world.
"Watcha studying?"
He presses his lips together, not quite smiling. Finds it a little bit awkward talking about his endeavours, knowing that there is a weight that comes with a degree. Doesn't want to get one and then end up never using it in his life - kind of like you.
"Business and events. Study part-time. Had to work alongside it. In my final year."
"Oh wow," you say, genuinely surprised. You just never assumed he had any free time, because you only ever actually see him when he's busy. You've never seen him on a Tuesday and nor a Thursday, though, which is when he's in lectures. "That's impressive."
He rolls his dark eyes, but his smile is ever-present. He awkwardly sucks a little air between his teeth and knocks his head to the side. "It's not. Everyone has degrees these days."
You want to argue back, but then he's asking you about your degree, and how you ended up working in an art cafe. The answer is simple yet feels complex—a saturated job market is where you place your blame, but the internal feeling of inadequacy is why you actually think you never got one of the lucrative roles in your chosen industry. Just don't feel like you're good enough. It wasn't for a lack of trying.
He tells you it's impressive that you've got a degree, with a bit of a shit-eating smile, and it has you rolling your eyes, too. Makes you realise how dumb you sounded saying it to him.
"C'mon," he nods towards his desk. "Let's pick something to watch."
There's a casual nature to the way he lets you sit on his desk chair, chin resting upon your knees, as he leans over you; hand on the mouse, navigating through his desktop.
You ignore the fact he opens up chrome in incognito mode. He just hasn't deleted his history in, like, forever, and fears what could be on display. Knows that there's a high chance it could be something unsavoury. Could also still have a tab open with your name in the search bar.
He just got curious. That's all. No biggie.
His keyboard is one of the tippy-tappy kinds. Goes click-clack as he types. You don't know the name of the keyboard model, just know that you like stumbling across videos of them at two o'clock in the morning.
It sounds so comforting when Jungkook enters the web address. His password, too, and then your name into a new user, because he doesn't trust you not to fuck with his Netflix landing page.
He restricts your access to 'kids only,' for no reason other than to have you whining in his direction. He refuses to change it back. Tells you to suck it. Keeps it up until you pinch some of his hair between your fingers and threaten to pull.
"Alright, alright!" he exclaims in a hushed whisper, still conscious of Jimin in the next room over. He clicks through the settings and restores your access - but also then picks the ugliest-looking character he can find for your display picture, too. "There. Happy?"
"The happiest."
And somehow, it doesn't feel like a lie.
See, when Jungkook's focus is on you—his laugh in your ear, smile in your eye line—you forget the ache in your chest left by Jin.
He's a distraction, but not in the sense that Jimin was. Not how any of your hookups have been. He doesn't offer what they did - and he won't, which is likely why the distraction is so welcome by you.
He's sticking dry ramyeon in your cracks and sanding it down. It's not perfect, and it's not permanent, but it does alright for now.
You look over at him in the mirror by his window, intently observing him as he gets to grips with his notes. There's a swell in your chest. It's so nice to have a friend. To not have expectations. To have someone value having you around for no ulterior motive.
Jungkook doesn't really think much of it. He likes having you around, too. Likes your company. Likes that he doesn't have to worry about you crushing on him, because Jimin's already taken your fancy. Likes the lack of pressure.
Doesn't like it so much when you start asking him about his origami birds again a little while later.
You've just finished an episode of some crime drama he doesn't recognise, but didn't choose to start the next one up. Instead, you waltz to the end of his bed and lie down to look at the folded figurines.
You get why Jungkook seems to like doing it so much. There's a subdued serenity to their soft movements in the stream of air blowing from his aircon unit.
"How'd you make them?" You ask, eyes concentrating up at them. They're two-tone—white on top, black from beneath. All the same. Uniform. Identical.
He knows what you're asking about, so he doesn't look up from the notes he's making. "Easily."
"You're the worst," you say, and he can almost hear the fact you're smiling.
"Nah," he retracts his statement as he glances over towards you. "Really wanna know how?"
You turn your head to meet his gaze. He looks far more awake, now. "Obviously."
He shrugs. Has that shit-eating grin on his face again. "Folded some paper."
"I'm leaving," you say, and yet you don't move a muscle.
"Jimin's still in the living room," he reminds you.
And so you decide to play up to the narrative he's already decided for you and his housemate. "Maybe I'll just go to his room for round two."
"Told you it wouldn't just be a one-time thing."
"Literally fuck off," you laugh, knowing there's no way you'll ever win against Jeon Jungkook.
"It's my bedroom, where exactly am I meant to fuck off to?"
"The floor."
And so he does. Takes his iPad, sticks his apple pen behind his ear and crosses his legs on the shagpile rug that's next to his bed. He's challenging you as he raises his brows.
You don't wanna bite the bait. "God, you're so ridiculous."
"You love it," he jokes, and then he realises that he might be flirting a little bit, so he tries to draw it back. Decides that maybe it would be good to tell you why he's got them up. You shared a lot last night. His turn, now.
"No, I... I dated a girl for a bit who would always fold things up into butterflies. Guess I wanted her to think we had a similar quirk, or something like that."
He's so sweet that it's devastating. Must have broken his fair share of hearts, you think.
"Did she fall for it?"
You know you would have.
"She never knew," he admits. A blush creeps across his cheeks and atop his nose. Pretty. "It was a bit of a weird situation."
"You? Weird? Gasp. Sounds unlikely."
"Shut up," he laughs, briefly meeting your gaze before looking down at his hands. "No, we were friends for the longest time. Still are, I guess. Same group of friends, at least. We were never official. Just a couple of friends who fucked about for a bit. Anyways, to cut a long story short, things didn't work out. So. She hasn't been here to see them."
"But you're still friends?"
Depends on how you define friends, he thinks. There was never any big fight. The last time he saw her—a night out to celebrate another friend's birthday—they'd spent the entire night goofing around together.
It's funny, really, how Jungkook thinks you're the epitome of stars, but he's never had more in his eyes than when he looked at her.
You've never seen him like that. The only time you see stars in his eyes is when you catch your own reflection.
You think it would be nice, though. Think he'd look sweet all loved up, boyish and bashful in the presence of someone whose beauty encapsulates everyone around them. To see him in love would almost feel like experiencing it yourself.
"Kinda," he shrugs. "Don't see her much. She's got a boyfriend up in Seoul. Spends most of her time there."
The melody of his voice is melancholic. He doesn't sound regretful. Maybe a little resentful. Sad, more than anything. It's a shame.
"You really liked her?"
Jungkook decides he's said enough. He puts on his best smile and shakes his head. Plays it off like it's no big deal. Pretends as if he didn't make a single-at-thirty marriage pact with her. Acts like he doesn't wish things had worked out differently; like he doesn't kind of hope he'll still be single at thirty, just in case she is, too.
"Why are we even talking about this? Really doesn't matter," he says, voice a little harsher than he intends. You feel guilty for pushing the subject. Glad to know him a little better, mind you. "I think I get it, though. Your whole... never staying thing."
He's the first person to say that to you. Everyone else has made you feel a little weird for it; as if your one-night-stands are somehow even sleazier because of it.
Your voice is quiet as you look at your hands. "You do?"
"Kind of," he shrugs. "I always stay, but only cause I only tend to fuck girls I actually like. I just... since her I haven't really let it get that far. Scared of staying and then the girl leaving, like she did, I guess. You 'n' me? We're two sides of the same coin. Doesn't really matter, though does it?"
Jungkook surprises you. You'd have never thought him to be as much of a defeatist as he appears to be, now.
"No," you acknowledge as he comes back to sit on his bed. He lays down, head by your ankles, feet by your head. The birds above him are none the wiser of their impact on him. "It's just, I came to you crying over my ex last night, so it'll be nice to have a heads up if you're gonna come crying to me."
There's humour in your voice, and he appreciates it. Likes that he can be serious with you, but that you try and lighten the mood for him. He doesn't like talking about things like this. Always gets a heaviness in his chest. Only ever had a panic attack once, but he remembers how it started. Remembers it feeling a lot like this.
"She's not an ex. We never dated, so. Won't be crying. Don't worry."
You both know that titles count for nothing. Both know he cried plenty.
"Ouch," you grimace, to which he just smiles, now. No point in letting himself dwell upon it all.
"It is what it is."
"Bit more than that," you counter, because apparently you don't know when to shut up. It's not that you want him to have to rehash his bad memories. You just think they're eating him up. Think it will do him good to exhale.
He hums in confusion, the noise light and airy. Almost like he's chirping. Maybe he's secretly one of his little paper birds in disguise.
"Well, if it was enough to put you off dating for good," you rationalise. You know why he's downplaying it, but he'll do himself no favours by living in denial. "It shouldn't be dismissed as nothing."
"Not for good," he objects, and taps your head with his foot. You bat him away, but there's a weightlessness to the way you both start laughing. "Just for now."
"How long has it been?"
"Does it matter?"
"No."
He kind of hates how many questions you ask. Kind of likes it, too. Likes that you don't know the Jungkook that came before her. Likes that you never had to see him when he was struggling with it.
The only person that had ever seen it was Jimin. So good at putting on a brave face, the rest of their friends barely knew. Even she didn't realise how badly she hurt him. It's why she still tries to be his friend.
Makes sense. They were best friends. Always said things would never change. In her eyes, they haven't.
"Just over a year," he finally sighs. "Confessed last spring. Was also subsequently rejected, but not till the summer."
You chirp in confusion now. Think about how long it must have fucked with him, never knowing where he stood. You feel awful for him.
"Well, she said she wasn't sure what she wanted. Anyways, ended up not being me. And so now, I never let myself get that deep into things. Don't wanna repeat history. Make the same bad decisions. Y'know?"
It's the SparkNotes version.
He won't bore you with the way he accidentally said he loved her after one too many shots, and how she'd told him that he didn't mean it - only for him to fuck her that evening like he really did. Won't tell you how she asked him about it in the morning, and when Jungkook nervously asked, "Well, do you want me to be in love with you?", she'd said, "No. I think that would ruin things."
And so he'd just laughed, and told her good. Said he'd never be in love with someone as ugly as her with a smile on his face reserved for only the most beautiful of people.
He won't tell you how she began to playfight with him, and how he ended up fucking her again. Fucking her like he meant it. Fucking her like she put the stars in the sky and stole the wind from his sails just to turn the tides. Fucking her like he never had done before. Fucking her like she wasn't just a friend, and he wasn't just a little horny.
The difference was, sober now, she felt it. Felt his intent. Knew that his slip-up had been the product of a fall.
He was confused, but so was she. He hadn't meant to fall—but she hadn't meant to trip him. No one was to blame.
And so he just blames himself. Shies away from love, 'cause he thinks that maybe he isn't right for it. If even the person who knew him better than he knew himself couldn't bring herself to love him, then what hope did he have?
"God, what's wrong with us?" He laughs, still tapping the side of your head with his foot. It's annoying, but you let him.
"Fear of intimacy and fear of rejection," you muse. "Make quite the pair."
He smiles in such a way that it doesn't feel like a smile, but he hopes that the hormones will play tricks on him. Make him at least think he's happy. "Anyways, I keep the birds up as a reminder, I guess."
"Of?"
He just shrugs. "Gotta set people free."
It's a nice idea. One you think you'd quite like to indulge in, too.
"You got any more paper?"
"Fuckin' loads. Accidentally ordered, like, a thousand sheets."
Your voice is delicate as you say, "Show me how to make them?"
There's hesitancy from Jungkook. Not sure he wants to share such a personal part of himself.
But then he thinks maybe it would be nice. Thinks that just because he wants to be alone romantically, doesn't mean he has to be lonely.
He tells you where the paper is—the top drawer beneath his desk—and begins to instruct you. They're simple enough. Only a few steps. He's made so many that he relies mostly on muscle memory.
Your first attempts are terrible. He questions whether or not you really work at an art cafe, because he can't comprehend that you're so bloody awful at crafting. You tell him that painting is an entirely different discipline, and he tells you that you're making excuses.
Eventually, though, you get the hang of it. Can make them without getting paper cuts. Almost. He still laughs every time you wince and mutter 'shit' beneath your breath.
You're about ten birds deep into your new flock when you walk to his desk to retrieve a pen. Jungkook raises a brow, catching the biro effortlessly as you toss it towards him.
"Can't just set people free," you say, an idea brewing in your head. "Gotta set your fears free, too. It's the only way you'll get over them."
"Okay," he bites. "So?"
"So: go on," you nod towards the sheet of paper in his hand. "One of the things you're scared of. Rejection right? What are scared to do because of that?"
It's a big question. He's not even entirely sure he knows the answer.
And so he deflects. "What are you scared of?"
You take a moment to think, uncapping a pen with your teeth and scrawling down an answer on the sheet of paper. When you're done, pen cap still between your teeth, you turn the page to show him your answer: Staying the night after a hook up.
"I don't do it," you say candidly, as if it's news to either of you. "What don't you do?"
He takes a moment now. Really considers how his complexes conflict with his life. Some are easier to confront than others, though, so he scribbles one down and holds it up: following girls back on instagram.
A smile tugs at your lips. "Sorry?"
"Well, what if they strike up a conversation in my DMs?" He says as if it's a totally rational and reasonable response.
"You followed me, though?"
"It's different. I was just trying to get you your phone back—and not being funny, Byeol, you'd just fucked Jimin? Didn't really think you'd be trying it on with me?"
You snicker a little. It's kind of nice how he sees you as this strange entity all because you got a little frisky with Jimin. Writes you off. Doesn't consider you a 'girl' anymore, apparently.
But all you can do is laugh and say, "Yeah, fair enough. Suppose that's true. Alright, now you're done, fold it up."
You both do it in unison, the folds coming easily now that he's shown you the ropes. He's almost a little bit impressed that you finish just a second or so after him. Isn't actually impressed, 'cause it's the simplest origami known to man, but it's sweet how pleased you seem to be with yourself. Cute.
"And set it free," you finish, tossing it down into the pile of birds gathering by the foot of his bed.
"And set it free," he nods with a grin, twiddling his lip ring with his tongue as his gaze lands on yours; his bird landing in the pile.
Such a simple act, and yet it is freeing.
"Again?" he asks, to which you repeat his word back to him.
"Again."
The pair of you sit in comfortable silence, scrawling out your fears onto the papers. You choose to write all of your fears out first, and then fold them up. Jungkook writes a fear, folds, and then repeats it. Different methods, same end goals.
He runs out of fears before you do, but it's okay. Not like it's a competition. He thinks it's interesting. Wonders what you're hiding up there behind your starry eyes.
"What now?" he asks as you toss your final bird into the pile.
Your purse your lips together, contemplating the next step. There's only one that really makes sense.
"You got any string?"
And of course, he does. Not only did he order far too many sheets of paper, but also far too much string. He gets it from the drawer beneath his desk, and a couple of rolls of tape. It's washi, dark grey, and he worries that it's been sitting for so long that it could have lost its tackiness.
You don't seem phased though as you stand on his bed and struggle to reach the ceiling. It's all very endearing. He comes to stand behind you, and doesn't really think much of it as he reaches for your hips and pulls you off of his bed. At least, he doesn't think anything of it until you shriek a little in surprise - and then he's covering your mouth with one of his hands, the other still on your hip.
"Shush, shush, shush," he coos with a small laugh as you swot him away. "You stick the string to the birds. I'll put them up."
Routines come as bread and butter to the pair of you. It's so casual how you work together, like the tides and the moon, it just... works. It doesn't take long once you fall into a pattern—string, stick, pass, stick—and soon enough, his bed has a canopy of so many birds that it's almost hysterical.
"Got a whole flock now," you smile as you both come to lay back down, heads by each other's ankles. Opposites. In tandem. Yin and Yang.
It's kind of a mess, but in such a way that it feels entirely right. There are a few incredibly lopsided birdies, all thanks to you, but Jungkook finds a certain charm to them. Likes how you somehow managed to make perfect birds and also ones that belonged in the bin—and how it was those slightly wonky ones that you seem to like the most.
It's as you're praising how pretty the birds look that the washi tapes loosens on one of them, falling onto your tummy.
Jungkook groans. "Told you the tape wasn't strong enough."
You scrunch your nose. He's right, but you don't want to acknowledge it. Don't like 'told you so' moments—so instead, you pretend as if it was meant to be.
"Must be that you're ready to set that fear free."
"Hmm?"
"Well, it definitely isn't one of mine," you grin, holding the bird up to look at it. The folds are sharp and pointed. Pristine, almost. It's too well-made to be one of yours, so you pass it over to him. "What does it say?"
"None of your business," he declares, holding it tight to his chest.
But he's curious too, and just laughs when he opens it. Holds it open. Gives you a peak.
Following girls back on Instagram.
"You've already seen it," he says, explaining why he doesn't mind you looking at it.
"And I still don't understand why you think it's such a huge thing," you tell him softly - not because you want to invalidate his fears, but because you want to understand them.
"A lot of girls find me through the club's Instagram," he admits, sensing that your confusion would only be remedied with honesty. "Feels a bit sleazy to follow them back when they were probably drunk."
"It's an insta follow back, Kook. You're hardly making a move," you say. "It really doesn't have to be a big deal. If they're already following you, then you're the one rejecting them."
"But what if"—
"But nothing. Gimmie your phone," you say—and you're surprised when he does. No hesitation. Makes you think that maybe just he needs a push. Wants this.
He's pleased when he notices a slight sparkle to your chipped nail varnish. It's midnight blue, and you bought it because it reminds you of a twilight sky, but it just confirms that you're made of stardust to Jungkook. The shine prevails even when you're without your trusty glitter.
You pull up Instagram and head to his notifications. He's got a solid bounty of new followers. 68 since he last checked.
"Okay, what about her?" You pause your scroll on a brunette—slim build, hair cropped to just above her shoulders. She's wearing a little glitter too, from the looks of things. Jungkook wonders if that's why she stood out for you. Wonders if maybe you saw a little bit of yourself in her.
"Yeah, she's pretty," he admits, but glances over to you to check he isn't speaking in a way that makes him seem like a dick. He doesn't want you to think he'd objectifying anyone. "I'm not so sur-"
He doesn't have a chance. You've already pressed on the little blue follow button.
"See! Not so hard."
Jungkook disagrees.
There's a feeling in the pit of his stomach. What if the girl shows up at the bar and tries to strike up a conversation? Then what? The first step is all very well and good, but you seem to have forgotten that his life goes on after the press of a follow button.
But then the moment passes, and he realises that the world is still turning just as it always has been. Nothing has changed. Maybe it is okay.
And so he takes a little bit of a lead.
"Who next?" he asks, trusting your decisions.
"Her?" your thumb points towards another brunette. She's gorgeous. Face straight out of a magazine, body off a catwalk. How on earth he wouldn't have noticed her at the club is beyond you. She's not the kind you'd forget easily.
"I remember her," he says, confirming your suspicions. He does notice girls, and he does pay an interest in them. You think it's sad that he's stopping himself from pursuing any of them.
His voice is flat as his lips sneer a little, though. Had noticed her for all the wrong reasons.
"She was a grade-A wanker to Yeonjun," he explains. "Literally was last night. He messed up her order, and instead of just asking for a redo like a normal human being, she pretended to knock it over. Got vodka lemonade all over the counter, which is like, not an issue, but when it's peak time and you do it just to be a dick? Yeah. I served her for the rest of the night so he wouldn't have to deal with her. She follows me?"
You nod, a little embarrassed that you suggested her. It almost feels like you're the one being scolded. You kind of like seeing him like this, though. He looks good a little heated. It's so different to how mild-mannered he typically is.
"Force her to unfollow me."
The look on his face as you glance over at him is hard to read. He faces you, eyes focused on yours. They dip quickly to where your mouth rests ajar in surprise, then back up. "What?"
"Nothing," you laugh. "Just... I dunno. Strong morals."
"That a bad thing?"
"Not in the slightest," you say, voice soft, smile faint but sincere.
He goes to speak, but stops himself. Changes the topic. "Who next?"
And so you scroll, because you don't want to dwell. You make your way through a few of his followers, almost like you're playing an insta-tinder-hybrid.
"Oh, what the fuck," you snort as you reach a profile towards the bottom of the list.
"Hmm?" He asks as he looks at the profile you tap through to.
Ciara, her profile reads, and the instant you see her tight curls that delicately frame her face, dyed a caramel blonde to contrast her dark eyes, you recognise her. Like most of the girls in his notifications, she has the kind of beauty to leave an impression.
Unlike the last girl you'd done a deep dive on, she actually is a sweetheart, you think.
From what you remember, at least.
"Ciara," you hum, scrolling through her feed. It's dappled with pictures of friends, books in coffee shops and adventures from her time in Korea. She's Irish—not that her profile really gives it away—and you can almost remember the way her accent tastes. "It's definitely the club where she first saw you."
"She did?" He asks, not really sure how you know this with such certainty.
"Uh-huh. I met her a few weeks ago."
Jungkook doesn't interrupt. He senses more coming.
And then you shrug.
"Hooked up with her, actually."
"Oh," he says with a little surprise. Doesn't sound negative, but it doesn't sound entirely positive, either. You glance over to find him looking at you, and question his surprise. "I just didn't know. That's all."
And then you laugh. "Why do men always seem to think women's lives revolve around the male species?"
"I don't," he quickly protests, not wanting you to think ill of him.
Though he's pretty set on his sexuality, he's also no stranger to a little experimentation. Wouldn't judge anyone for their sexual endeavours, nor who they choose to engage in said endeavours with. Consenting adults are consenting adults.
"Literally just didn't know," he adds on. "It's no different to you being surprised when you found out I was studying for my degree."
You narrow your eyes but it's all in jest. You accept his response. Have had far worse in the past.
"Do you mind me asking?" He continues, getting a read on your expression before he clarifies. Doesn't wanna overstep the mark, but also isn't asking you anything he wouldn't be comfortable with you asking him back. "How you, like, identify?"
It's delicate, how he phrases it. Tender. Airy. Makes you feel quite safe, actually. His voice is so calm and neutral, that he may as well be asking what you'd like for dinner.
You simply shrug, shoulders lifting and then pressing back down into his duvet. It's something you've given a lot of thought, but always find hard to draw conclusions on. "Always just used to say bi."
"Used to say?"
"Had a boyfriend for a year, so people never cared to ask," you purse your lips, reminded of your least favourite aspect of dating Seokjin: erasure. Not just of your sexuality, but of your identity outside of the relationship. You were 'Jin's girlfriend' to so many people. You hated it. Wanted to be a person in your own right. "Maybe it was self-inflicted, but people seemed to forget I had a life before him. Maybe I did, too. When you lose your sense of self, it's hard to define it, yanno?"
Jungkook nods. He doesn't entirely understand, but tries. Recognises it was difficult for you. Feels bad. "Sorry."
"Not your fault, is it? Anyway, it's okay. I'm trying to rediscover myself, almost? Trying not to tie myself to anything too definitively. Scared I'll get it wrong."
"You're allowed to not know," he says. His brows crease above the bridge of his nose like they always do whenever he's speaking with a little passion. "And you're also allowed to know and not want to define it. Fuck what anyone else thinks."
"Either way," you deflect, not wanting to dwell. "Would be weird if you started chirpsing a girl I've been with."
"Agreed," he laughed. "Would make a double date with Jimin interesting."
"Jesus, give up the Jimin agenda," you smile. "It's not gonna happen again."
"Sureeee. Okay, next girl," he says, but is interrupted by a second origami bird falling.
It's on the outskirts of the flock - the one impacted the most by the breeze of the aircon - and Jungkook can tell immediately who made it.
"Oh this is definitely one of yours," he laughs, holding it up to study it. "How is the wing so bloody wonky?"
"He's poorly," you pout. "Like Jacquimo from Thumbelina."
Jungkook doesn't even pretend to know what you're referencing, so you just tell him you'll show him later. It's one of your favourite films. He says he'll watch it if you win a game of chess against him. You've no idea how to play. Tell him your agent will be in touch to schedule a tournament. He says he'll be waiting.
And then he's thinking. Voicing his thoughts. "We faced one of my fears"—
"And no one died."
"Exactly, no one died," he smiles. "So let's face one of yours."
"Wait!" You say quickly, going to grab the bird from his grasp, but he holds it above his head. You panic. "Look, Kook, I didn't plan on you ever seeing any of mine."
"So?"
"So... " you cringe. "Fear of intimacy."
"Sooo?"
"So... intimacy??"
"I'm lost?"
God, he couldn't be more of a boy if he tried. You half think that sometimes he plays dumb just to get you squirming. If he does, it works.
"Some of them aren't exactly PG," you say, your face scrunching even further up, as if you're preparing for a shot. Alcohol or medicinal. Doesn't matter which. Both would be less painful than this.
The way Jungkook laughs has you covering his mouth. It's a role reversal, with you reminding him Jimin is just next door.
"Sorry, sorry," he says as he recovers his breath. His teeth are on show, nose blushed, skin dewy. He's so pretty like this, you think. Handsome when he's happy. "I just—how bad can it be?"
The look on his face as he opens it says it all.
Yep.
You groan.
"Jesus Christ, Byeol."
Pretty fucking bad.
minors dni | wattpad | series masterlist |
#jungkook fanfiction#jungkook angst#jungkook smut#jungkook ff#jk ff#jungkook masterlist#jungkook fic#jungkook x reader#jungkook x you#jungkook x oc#jeon jungkook smut#bts fanfic#byholly#angst#smut#jungkook x y/n#college!jungkook#bartender!jk#jungkook fluff#bd#bad decisions#bd!jk#bts
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Quick links: Ko-Fi l Etsy
To everyone who's ordered a letter for me- Thank you so much! Your support means the world to me. I never thought I would get paid to write so this is a dream come true.
I didn't think my letter commissions would take off like they did, so after thinking for a while, the following is the new price list. Also an exciting surprise- I have an assistant to help me! @the-spiritual-bisexual is going to be my assistant, for now, they're going to help with simple things like packaging and gluing envelopes, taping things down, etc. But since they love to write, I hope soon they'll want to start doing letter commissions too!
I'll be doing two different types of commissions, the first are my letter commissions where you get a handwritten letter from a fictional character of your choice, and the second is writing commissions for this blog. Ah, also I set up a Ko-Fi! Don’t feel pressured to tip at all, it’s just a few people were wanting to tip me for commissions and I didn’t have anything set up ;)
Fandoms I can write for:
DC Comics
Marvel Comics
Twilight
Harry Potter
Haikyuu!!
My Hero Academia
Fruits Basket
Danganronpa
Jujutsu Kaisen
One Piece
Anyone from a Voltage Otome Game
Certain Webtoons
A Series of Unfortunate Events (Platonic only)
Lord of the Rings
Percy Jackson
Ouran High School Host Club
Mystic Messenger
Greek Mythology Love Letters (Hades in particular)
And more! Just message with what character and I’ll try to work with you!
Letter Commissions
The following are the tiers and what they include, all prices are in USD and shipped, if you are outside of the US add an extra dollar for shipping:
Basic - $7
A One Page/ 200 Word letter
The Envelope has either the flower illustrations I do (Or some other of your choice as long as it's in my capabilities) or the character you chose glued on with washi tape
One in character Extra (Stickers, photograph, etc.)
Mid-Tier - $10
A one page/200 Word letter
The envelope will have both illustration and a character on the envelope
Two in character Extras (Tea, sticker, photograph, etc.)
The Works - Etsy Exclusive
One Page 200 Word letter
Envelope with both illustration and character on the envelope
A Playlist from your character with a bonus page/epilogue of content
Two in character extras (Photgraphs, stickers, etc.)
A bag of tea
Examples are here
Package - Etsy Exclusive
This one is new, I've done a few of these and they're pretty fun, this is a US exclusive (Because of shipping), if you are international, feel free to refer to my Etsy listing for pricing.
This comes with one of my famous Works tier letters
Two Comfort items (Notebook, pens, headband, extra. It's all based on your preference)
Some snacks (Please tell me all allergies and preferences when filling out the form)
Notes from your comfort character on everything
This is a limited item, I'll only be doing maybe 2-3 a week. boxes are upcycled, but to make them pretty I usually draw on them a bit :)
Writing Commissions
I've been thinking of doing this for a while, but I noticed I always have a lot of requests, about 1,000, and most of them don't get written- either because it's not my cup of tea or I just don't have the time. So this will be kind of like, you get to bump your request up to the front of the queue with 100% guarantee it'll be finished. All commissions will be digital and posted on this blog, and you will be cited as the very generous benefactor who paid for it :)
Payment must be through friends and family on Paypal, or via venmo. For right now, I'm only doing one-
Blurb Level - $2.50
This will probably be around anything from 250-500 words
It'll either be a short imagine or a bulleted list
Anything longer than that will be charged the industry rate of $0.01 a word, and you give me a word count. For Example, You want another part of the Damian Wayne School Series, and you want 1,000 words. It would be $10, any words I happen to go over are on me, you don't have to pay me anything more if I happen to write a 2,000 word part.
All requests are at my discretion, and I’m free to reject any commission if I feel like I’m not the right writer for the job. As always, I don’t do ‘dark content’ so any requests consisting of anything that might need a trigger warning will be rejected.
Thank you so much for reading and supporting me! I hope to have more items in my shop and write more good content for you soon!
- Sim
#batman imagine#dc comics imagine#jujutsu kaisen imagine#jujutsu kaisen#my hero academia#marvel comics imagine#harry potter imagine#one piece imagine#writing#commission#commissions#pen pal#art comission#superhero--imagines
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NOOOOOOOOO PLEASE RELEASE THAT WIP 😭 now that you've mentioned he's not an asshole it's just Y/N being kinda meh about him, I wanna seeeeeee I wanna reeeeeaaaad. So is there some sort of misunderstanding happening?
Ugh, that's so annoying, I understand wanting to keep some stuff for yourself but sometimes it's just SHARING IS CARING BITCH 🔫 I order a lot of albums and I usually sell them or give them away, I hate selling tbh I prefer trading, especially if I have duplicate PCs, I actually traded whole albums for some photocards, lmao.
Yes I keep all my photocards in protective sleeves and in binders, it's also important to take extra care while sending them to people. Some fans just don't pack them well 🥴 after all those are just pieces of paper, they get damaged easily. I help with GO's sometimes but they're such a hassle...
Ah I get not wanting to be repetitive especially because since some people might get mad at others copying their work, though many stories lack originality anyways so it's usually hard to prove. But omg that upcoming series you linked?! I've missed it, but I hope it's gonna come out soon. 😭😭😭 also you do not have to convince me to re-join Shinestarism ok, this is my home this is how I live 🤡
Mafia Hwa Y/N was really that bitch, wiueishsuwvdhjwbshs. Aw, you're so cute, the way you described the Hongjoong fic. Movie? Tell me the title if it's okay with you? I always wonder how many of the stories people write are truly self-indulgent and something they'd like to experience.
Shit that villain reader one is so important to me bestie, you do NOT realise 😭😭😭😭 I almost forgot why would you bring it up??? To take revenge? I need more bad Y/N's can't be just the guys doing the questionable stuff you know and I love villains or rather antagonists with purpose.
Aghhh a Touch of Frost I love that one a lot!
Let me continue in another message, because I have things to say 💀 - DV 💖
HI THIS IS SO EXCITING FBFB
NOOOOOOOOO PLEASE RELEASE THAT WIP 😭 now that you've mentioned he's not an asshole it's just Y/N being kinda meh about him, I wanna seeeeeee I wanna reeeeeaaaad. So is there some sort of misunderstanding happening?
BFWMDBWKDHWK they, just immense amount of tension bc hwa is pinning but miss yn wants it to be a professional relationship DESPTE them being in the similar friend group…he just, 😶😶 IDK HOW TO DESCRIBE THIS BC UT WONT MAKE SENSE IF U DONT READ IT FULLY THRU FBENFBEN
Ugh, that's so annoying, I understand wanting to keep some stuff for yourself but sometimes it's just SHARING IS CARING BITCH 🔫 I order a lot of albums and I usually sell them or give them away, I hate selling tbh I prefer trading, especially if I have duplicate PCs, I actually traded whole albums for some photocards, lmao.
YEAH !!! FBWNDHSJ SOME PPL R JUST REALLY PETTY OVER IT ANF FOR WHAT 😭😭😭 omg do u trade that’s so cool, u must have like all those washi tapes and decorative stuff to trade and all omg
Yes I keep all my photocards in protective sleeves and in binders, it's also important to take extra care while sending them to people. Some fans just don't pack them well 🥴 after all those are just pieces of paper, they get damaged easily. I help with GO's sometimes but they're such a hassle...
THATS SO TRUE i traded once, i put them in a very neat card and taped them to a small cardboard and bubble wrapped it and i just received it in a small box with nOTHING tho im half they weren’t damaged fbdbdb OMF U DO GO’S TOO??? that’s so cool i can imagine the hassle but how’s that process?? bc ik some ppl want specific pc’s so do u just take their desired ones out from a different album and put them in?? what do u do if u see a polaroid, do u tell them or u just…yk…finders keepers
Ah I get not wanting to be repetitive especially because since some people might get mad at others copying their work, though many stories lack originality anyways so it's usually hard to prove. But omg that upcoming series you linked?! I've missed it, but I hope it's gonna come out soon. 😭😭😭 also you do not have to convince me to re-join Shinestarism ok, this is my home this is how I live 🤡
yEAHH !!!! there’s so many concepts repeated that u rly have to add ur own scenes to it so u can change ur but there still will be similarities between works,,,, i was quite excited abt writing a series again but after seeing that nO FBSNDBS also bc it’s so much work 😭😭,,,, YES ME TOO THE SERIES SOUNDS SO PROMISING LOVE IT FBFB,,, LMFAOOOO FBWNDHSJ IT WAS MY EXCUSE TO OFFER FIC RECS
Mafia Hwa Y/N was really that bitch, wiueishsuwvdhjwbshs. Aw, you're so cute, the way you described the Hongjoong fic. Movie? Tell me the title if it's okay with you? I always wonder how many of the stories people write are truly self-indulgent and something they'd like to experience.
SHE RLY WASSS I LOVED HER FBWNBDEK omg omg this is a self indulged storey absolutely im gonna ramble about this fic rn,, pls don’t mind me
jab we met ( jab means ‘when’ we met ) : adityah, a heartbroken tycoon on the verge of committing suicide, aimlessly boards a train. he meets geet, a high-spirited girl who plans to elope with her lover, and finds himself pulled into her crazy life.
bestie, bestie this movie is the definition of love. he’s an introvert, she’s an extrovert. it all happens on a train, she drags him when he doesn’t want to go and gets him in trouble. makes him re-experience love by asking him to burn his exe’s photo— she threatens him to take her to her home bc “you’re the reason i lost my luggage!” “did i ask you to follow me?!?” yeah. he’s so in love, so so in love. “why are you playing with your life?” “because it’s my favourite game, life!” “you need a psychiatrist!” she makes him experience childishness + the dialogues bestie ugh 😩😩 there’s a song where he hallucinates and sees her everywhere, dancing in the rain and him being a complete love struck idiot. she’s wild, talks nonsense her motto is “i’m my favourite person!” 105/10 i rec this movie so much bc it’s my favourite, ive watched this 20+ times ever since it came out in 2007. here’s the trailer (captions r included) i have the fattest crush on the main lead.
here’s a little scene i personally subbed to show to one of my friends and it’s literally one of my favourites !!!!! it’s, when u watch it and if u ever do,,, you’ll see how that man loves quietly and chooses to keep it go himself bc he doesn’t wanna bother her with it 😭😭😭 ANOTHER SELF INDULGENT IVE WRITTEN IS THE SAN FIC !!! it’s also based on this movie omg if u ever watch it, you wont ever, ever find a movie like this, it’s like an emotion <3
yeh jawani hai deewani ( this youth is crazy ) : a young medical student falls in love with a man who plans to travel the world and never settle down, or get married.
so. this is everyone’s travel dreams into one masterpiece of a movie together. this movie NEVER GETS OLD ISTG,, imagine going on a trip with total strangers and ur 3 friends from high school, one loves to show her bravery, other is a complete fuck boy who has nothing but his dreams, and the last who’s places bets on sports matches. a trip where u runaway from gangsters on a cart + singing 90’s music + make sex jokes + indian weddings that r better than white ones + friendship deep thoughts + travel log and yearn to travel and explore + fall in love and then follow ur dreams until it comes to a stop. & u meet at a wedding, classic nerdy girl x fuckboy prompt !!! “you have such a killer smile, if i had a heart it would’ve fell for you.” remembering everything and the drama + THE SONGS THE SONGS R >>>>> ridiculously amazing chemistry, there isn’t a movie like this and there will never be (also what my san fic is based on !!) 107/10 + here’s the trailer !! pls skip to 48 seconds that’s when it starts dbdb i don’t have a subbed video i did for this but here’s an edit
questions for you !!! what’s a movie you’ve watched that you would self indulge yourself in ???
Shit that villain reader one is so important to me bestie, you do NOT realise 😭😭😭😭 I almost forgot why would you bring it up??? To take revenge? I need more bad Y/N's can't be just the guys doing the questionable stuff you know and I love villains or rather antagonists with purpose.
BDQMBDWMHDWK ME TOO BESTIE ITS SO IMPORTANT 😭😭😭 FBWNDH TO TAKE REVENGE FOR THAT LANYARD 🔫🔫🔫😭😭 miss yn in it will be full of magic and hwa can’t help but be interested in yn even if he’s gonna get married to someone or be so interested in the tea she offers him everytime he comes but never answers his questions ☺️☺️☺️☺️
Aghhh a Touch of Frost I love that one a lot! Let me continue in another message, because I have things to say 💀 - DV 💖
LOVE IT SMMM 😭😭😭😮💨😮💨😮💨 i will answer that separately bc this got too long fbfbf
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5am.raining
The past few days have been so strange... In addition to hurting my hand on Wednesday, my husband and I got our second dose of the vaccine on Friday evening, and we've spent most of the day Saturday in bed with aches and chills. 😣😣😣
I won't know until 2 weeks from now if my hand will require a surgery to repair the nerve or tendon. If it does though, it's going to be in a splint for a while... 😭 Which is going to make doing much of anything pretty difficult. I really hope it is not needed...
Anyway. Here's an older photo from some goodies I bought at @tokyopenshop and my thoughts on them! ✌☺🛍
💮Midori Paintable Stamp (Animal)
Absolutely lovvve this stamp! So cute. The images are so tiny and they come out really nice. Goes well with my planner since they fit into the small spaces of the weekly and monthly spreads.
💮Pilot ILMILY Frixion Planner Stamps (Frame)
I just wanted to get this since it's limited edition, and I thought it could be cute for highlighting dates and stuff.
💮Petit Deco Rush (Light Bulb)
I'm obsessed with the functional deco rush tapes! I thought this one could be cute for marking notes and ideas I want to bring attention to.
💮Acroball L Series (Pearl Gold)
Honestly I didn't need this pen I just thought it was a pretty color scheme. 😆
💮Midori Wakka Seals (Flower)
Cute plastic stickers for highlighting important dates and stuff.
💮Pentel TUFF Mechanical Pencil (.5 mm, Beige)
Beautiful vintage style pencil. I put my blue layout lead in here.
💮RoundTop Schedule Washi
I can't help but love the tiny schedule washi tapes/stickers from RoundTop! I already have another design of theirs, but I had to get this one too. Would be super useful for bulletjournaling.
#personal#bought#tokyo pen shop#planner#planner community#planner addict#planner life#planner junkie#planner obsessed#planners#plan with me#planning#studyblr#studyspo#study#study inspo#student#study blog#university
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Another journal page that I thought I'd post here since... I don't know what to post at the moment. Or should I add a short life update, as well? I know it would take time before I could post another one. So here we go! . 📌As you can see, I added a few elements of bujo on my own journal. Maybe just my way of being able to be someone productive, especially in terms of writing and other stuffs that I tend to forget at times. Maybe I should add more stickers and washi tapes in my collection if I'm going to decorate my journal pages in some way, huh? 📌 Updating in Wattpad will be quite seldom starting today since my phone's browser doesn't display anything related to Wattpad anymore, for some reason. But hey, I'll just pile up the things I needed to write. 📌 Still haven't been able to find a proper outfit that I'd be using for my younger sister's wedding next month. 📌 I did a Nancy Drew Mystery Stories reading marathon this month, which I like, by the way. Ah, wait. Let me correct that. It's a re-reading marathon since I've previously read the series up to Book 28 and haven't been able to continue reading Book 29 since then. And that was like years ago. 📌 I'd be adding a few new chapters on TLSOTE that I haven't uploaded before. More on the perception of Kourin and Seiichi, by the way. I just noticed that there were more scenes involving the Knights rather than the scenes of the main characters. . I think I can do more writing by hand because of what happened. But the updating time is the one that I'm a little unsure of. In any case, let's see if a "miracle" can happen sooner. Who knows, right? . . #lifeupdate #randomthoughts #journaling #journalpage https://www.instagram.com/p/CVW5HhRhY0A/?utm_medium=tumblr
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in terms of design advice, any ideas for a broke college student apartment room? 💕💕
college is a weird time because you are kind of a grown up but also definitely not! and your interests and tastes will change so rapidly in the next few years. so honestly it’s a great time to experiment and be creative. this advice all depends on your particular space, but in any small space everything that can be double duty, should be double duty (night stand is also a tv tray/laptop tray, art is also bulletin board or jewelry holder), the more uses you can get out of something, the better! going vertical on the walls where you can get away with it is amazing. here are a few easy and cheap ways to upgrade and some basic design principles:
take this design quiz to find out your style (plug in a fake email) and then google or pinterest away. you’ll see repeat themes (for ex. major bohemian trend is macrame, which easily DIYable, or MCM is all about legs and clean profiles). maybe that would be fun post - to highlight different styles and trends. but here are some upgrades that translate to any design style for cheap:
PLANTS
don’t go to a nursery and drop a hundred dollars you don’t have. a plant or two or three you really love will change the vibe of the whole space, and give you something to take care of, which is ofc good for your mental health. tips for getting plants and planters on the cheap!
think of a relative or friend who already has houseplants and ask for free ones next time they’re splitting. i literally did my entire garden this way in my first place.
look on like FB marketplace or whatever your swap site is because people are often selling plants or cuttings for a discount.
i have literally split the cost of a plant with a friend and then split it in half, like a baby before Solomon
pothos plants of any kind are easy to take care of and can split into smaller plants pretty regularly.
succulents are usually a few dollars at the store and everyone loves them! start with one simple succulent.
herbs! if you get herb garden seeds or plants you literally make what you eat!
if you have pets, make sure they are pet friendly.
i do not spend a lot of $$ on planters! i use terra cotta because 1. they’re cheap as hell and 2. cute! some of my favorite planters are terra cotta pots kristina painted for me! you can also thrift pots, which i would encourage, or reuse food containers by putting small holes in the bottom.
create hanging plants by making yarn macrame holders! youtube is your friend on this! you can get a ceiling hook for like $3 if it’s a solid ceiling (drywall) and super easy to patch up when it’s time to leave.
ART
function + form. something organic that you can change out inspiration or art, like a cork or inspiration board (look on like a varage sale or in a thrift store for this). you can get four12x12 cork boards from target for $7 and create something like this from two of them, which is in and of itself a piece of art (and you can take it down w/out damaging walls)
other cheap things i have done for art:
calendar or magazine pages in thrifted frames (my favorite cheap tricks is to get matte black or white craft paint for $1.25 from wm or target and paint a bunch of odd frames to unify them)
a picture ledge like this from ikea is your best friend because you can interchange the art to be whatever you want!
embroidery hoop fabric bulletin boards
seriously, posters are cool. get a cheap poster online and hang it with washi tape. it’s not precious. if you want something more grown up, try to thrift a frame for it for cheap. if you don’t like the color of the frame, paint it! if you can’t hang something heavy like this on the wall, use command velcro strips OR set it on top of a dresser or bookcase and lean it against the wall.
i love tassels and buntings. just google either of those and you’ll get thousands of cheap ideas. in my last bedroom i just had a bunting i cut and made over my bed and it acted like a bedframe and i loved it.
just free prints from the internet hung up with little clips like this ($2 from target) or bulky push pins – those holes are so easy to patch!
when my kids were little until two weeks ago i had an entire wall covered with their artwork. i’m saying maybe go to the thrift store, get some ugly canvases with your friends, and have a painting party. everyone brings a $4 thing of acrylic paint and a brush and have a party. good memories + new art for everyone. swap at the end!
pictures! actually print out those pictures and tape them to the wall with washi tape. you can also do something like this with push pins for as big or small as you want to make it (i have this in my living room
here’s a proper primer on the 7 elements of design, but you can skip that and go here if you want!
BALANCE
white space and focal points. in the same way that you need to break up one massive wall of text into digestible paragraphs, you also need to break up the focus in your room. a FOCAL POINT is a statement area in your room (i.e. the window, over your bed, your desk) that your eye is drawn to, and where you want your eye to be drawn to. ideally rooms should have ONE focal point (that’s like the adverb room for writing) but in a dorm apartment, that isn’t practical because it HAS to be multifunction. the important takeaway is that white space on your walls is okay, and important. it gives you a soft space to land, visually, which is important in making you feel more relaxed and even productive.
groupings – grouping like with like makes great sense organizationally AND design wise. a collection of postcards will look amazing on the wall together rather than spread around the room.
LAYERS
adding layers can make a space feel luxurious – curtains, rugs, extra throw pillows or an extra blanket on your bed or chair. plants are great for this, but fabrics and baskets can add another layer. these can be pricey so i would a. raid your mom’s house if that’s an option and ask if she needs ‘x’ rug or curtains anymore. you can also thrift curtains for cheapppp or even look for clearance fabric – once you wash the curtains they really are safe to use. clearance frabric can be hemmed without being sewn and hung with curtain rings if you need to. and $5 tension rods can work as a curtain rod inside a window frame if needed. i could do a whole post on this but a cheap rug next to your bed and something soft on a window can do wonders! dude i have also bought cheap cotton weave cloth from walmart and used rit dye to make turqoise curtains and i loved for years. see also: RIT DYE
so decorative pillows are expensive as HELL but regular, cheap pillows are like $4. i get cheap fabric or thrift fabric and sew my own, which you could do by hand, really, and use the pillow stuffing to make it. ikea also sells great cheap pillow covers!
COLOR
gosh there are no hard and fast rule here but here is a great primer series on color theory for design that you can translate to your room
simplifying a color palette will feel more calming to you, and so will using cool colors like blues and greens. but again, no hard and fast rules. repeat a color or element (shape, pattern) throughout a room 3x (ex. i have a blue rug and that same blueish tone is in a chair and also on a bookshelf. they don’t have to be the same blue, just color family, and it makes it all seem more intentional)
HOW TO DO IT CHEAPLY
buy secondhand. there are entire thrift makeover and upcycle youtube channels that are amazing! same for diy blogs.
reuse and repurpose what you have. i turned a dvd player box into a toy oven for my kids and they used it as a play kitchen for four years. my bookshelf that stores our games in my living room was $12 from salvation army - i just painted it and added casters for $15. my dresser was a thrift from the REstore, a habitat for humanity store. my end tables are actually butcher block pieces that were in my dad’s factory for forty years. i love bringing old things back to a different life. and you don’t always need a ton of tools to do it.
barter and trade. i traded a one of my kid’s dressers for the hutch that holds our toiletries outside of our upstairs bathrooms.
sell and repurchase something that works for you. i sold my old bookshelves on fb marketplace and bought another that actually works better. this isn’t applicable to everyone!
make muffins for someone in exchange for their sewing skills or knowledge. i’m teaching my friend to sew right now! libraries often have classes and such to learn new skills.
OK so i have rambled enough. i could ramble more. i hope this gets you started and if you have more specific or follow up questions, on this or organization side of things, let me know! remember these are all just guidelines and the most important thing is having a space you love, that makes you feel comfortable and that you’re proud of and happy in. comparing yourself to others isn’t always the best and you can make it a space you love no matter where you are.
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