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mrsmiroir · 1 year

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physically i am jordan johanus rietveld lying face up in the canal, emotionally i am his little brother clinging to his corpse

#another banger in the draft #not doing so hot rn #soc #six of crows duology #six of crows #crooked kingdom #kaz brekker #grishaverse

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robiinurheart33 · 10 days

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Soap being jealous of roach? (TW for slight panic attack(?), intrusive thoughts and gore) - angst no comfort

Everyone knows how hard soap feels. He loves with his whole being; he loves with shoulder pats, confident and casual small talk, tiny gestures that mean the world to the people around him.

What everyone probably does not know is that soap feels hard for every single emotion. Anger is simple enough to see: steadfast disobedience at clear orders, growling at choices he doesn’t agree with, bubbling up in his throat to explode sometimes in the form of a punch.

Empathy is one of the things soap chooses to push down at times - it’s hard to do what he does if he thinks about the people involved too hard. Every opportunity he allows himself to connect emotionally with the people around him; he does.

Jealousy however; isn’t a foreign emotion to him. Contrary to what people may see on surface level, soap is not positive. He can laugh and smile, but he can just as easily shout and sneer. Soap isn’t proud of this, and he despises feeling this way almost every single day. There is a reason he’s so friendly all the time - the constant and very real fear of being replaced. He has to leave his mark, he has to be remembered. When he dies, what will he show for it? Will people remember him? Will people miss him? Will people even care?

So when this…roach shows up, how exactly is he supposed to react? He tries really hard; he really really does, but he knows it’s all futile in the end. Soap can handle him having inside jokes with Price and Gaz, Price looking at him exactly like how he sees all of 141, with pride and a trusting gaze. Soap quietly seethes. Gaz has inside jokes with roach, clapping him on the back and giving him a noogie, like roach is his little brother. Soap bites the inside of his cheek and it explodes with a stinging metal taste. But he cannot help the sickening jealousy that finally bursts in his head when he sees the soft crinkle of ghost’s eye when roach smiles at him.

What a fuckin’ cockroach.

He blinks, looking away quickly to take a sip of his beer, the lights in the bar suddenly too bright, the non-stop chattering suddenly too loud; and everything is crashing down at once. Everything is wrong. This is just wrong. He pushes it down though, smiles just the right way, laughs just in the right pitch. He couldn’t resist resting an elbow on ghost’s shoulder though, placing it there like a signal. See? He allows me to do this. Only me. I’m closer to him than you are.

Only when ghost finishes his bourbon, he picks up roach’s drink and takes a sip. Soap’s eyes widen slightly, only conveying a tiny ass fraction of the pure surprise that explodes in his body, locking him rigid. He glances between Price and Gaz, acting as if this is completely normal. Even when Ghost gives off an approving hum, placing down the glass with a small thunk, the sound echoing through soap’s mind. Even when roach acts like that was nothing. Even when they don’t notice soap hasn’t contributed in the conversation as much as he usually does. Even when- even when- even-

Soap takes the biggest gulp of air he can take discreetly, blowing it out into his cup as he takes another fuckin sip. Just like Ghost did with Roach’s glass.

He stands up, not patting Ghost’s shoulder as he tells them he needs to take a piss. He doesn’t look at any of them. He physically can’t. Every time he blinks he sees himself punching roach in the face, ripping the mask off and stuffing it down his throat. He sees himself breaking a beer bottle in half, slicing his neck cleanly and watching the blood steadily pour out. He sees himself sobbing at the table, begging to know that he isn’t a replacement to roach. He sees himself banging his head against the table until his brain matter slides off and falls onto the ground. He-

Soap dunks his head under the tap, taking in heaps of air until he’s borderline hyperventilating, trying to not get lost in his own head. He knows it isn’t roach’s fault. He’s been great company he’s the fucking worst and everything he’s feeling is the culmination of his own insecurity. But fuck, if that doesn’t just piss him off even more. Knowing there isn’t an actual reason to hate roach. He groans, slamming the edge of his palm to his forehead repeatedly to try and clear his brain.

Soap wants to rip this ugly feeling out of his chest, he wants to be normal. He needs to be normal. Soap wants to grab the black tar that gathers in his throat and chest, cleanse himself of everything. Soap wants to rip his hair out. Soap wants to know that he is safe. Soap wants to scratch his skin raw. Soap wants to bleed until he cannot feel anymore. Soap wants-

Soap looks up from the sink as the bathroom door opens. Speak of the god damned devil. Roach and Soap make eye contact with each other, an awkward silence filling the air for a few seconds before

Hey.

“Hey man.”

Roach shuffles a bit awkwardly to the sink, filling the silence with the sound of running water as soap dries his face. Just as he was about to turn and walk out the door, he felt a tap on his shoulder. Soap’s tense muscles somehow locked even more as he turned towards roach, hoping his facial expression wasn’t saying I hope you die in a ditch somewhere.

Sorry if tonight was awkward. I know how disorienting it can be to meet new people out of the blue. Especially since I used to be part of 141 and stuff… Roach’s hands falter and he wrings his hands nervously, as if not knowing what to say. Soap just stares at him. And…you seem like a really nice person. I would wanna get to know you better, if that’s okay with you? Roach looks at him with hesitation and Soap does. Not. Move. He probably took a lot longer than usual to reply, to even move or change his facial expression, but once his mind truly absorbs the words,

“Of course. Any friend of 141 is a friend of mine.” Soap automatically pats roach on the back and gives him an all teeth smile. Crinkles at the eyes. Warm look. Roach relaxes instantly, clapping him on the bicep.

Idiot. It’s probably a good thing no one else really knows how he feels.

#robs ramblings #I really need to work on how to end my blurbs #man #hope this is good tho #I quite like it #I have another draft up in the bank that’s fluff and angst #you guessed it #it’s ghoap #I rlly like soap being jealous #the jealous troupe in general #banger I eat that shit UP #call of duty #john soap mactavish #simon ghost riley #john price #kyle gaz garrick #gary roach sanderson

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bivampir · 1 year

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it's always shocking to me how Normal sam reid looks out of character. he's just like 🙂 🧍🏼‍♀️. he's so shy. like. he s some guy. with a brick jaw. but still

#sam reid #my posting #introverts unite #the newsreader #dale jennings #iwtv #interview with the vampire #lestat de lioncourt #another drafts banger. can you tell im bored #mild failpost #iwtvposting

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ghwosty · 5 months

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"I can't understand what Eddie Vedder is singing"

skill issue

#another banger being hoarded in my drafts

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zukkaoru · 9 months

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the only oda and dazai dynamic i'm interested in is like. dazai is a stray feral cat oda found on the street. oda just wants to feed him and dazai is scratching and clawing and hissing and running away only to get caught in a rainstorm and pathetically crawl back to oda's doorstep, pawing at the door until he's let back inside only to track mud everywhere. and still refuse food.

#and ango is oda's disgrunted roommate who is tired of scratches all over his arms but still helps oda search when his cat goes missing #another banger from the drafts if i do say so myself #hello grace here #bsd #dazai osamu #oda sakunosuke #editing this to say i see now this may just be how *i* feel about dazai.. hmmmmm #whatever. i'm still right

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nick-close · 6 months

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The only Freddie characters that aren’t aspec are ones he makes intentionally very horny

#another banger draft #Mei why didn’t u post this one #this goes hard #dndads #dungeons and daddies #this is a silly post because like I don’t even headcanon glenn and Taylor as aspec but that’s like #because of how I wanna play with them as little dolls #I think canonically they’re still aspec coded

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nuclear-cowboy · 4 months

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jerking off the banana milk straw in the work parking lot

#another banger for the drafts #sometimes work kills you #cain.txt #unsleeping me releases this hopefully to never be seen

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dykemcqueen · 2 months

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“inflation this” “inflation that” be grateful you don’t live in neopia

#route66 #neopets #another banger from the drafts

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turtle-ly · 1 year

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just to be clear the reason i like the super pal trio so much is because *twirls hair* haha girls your morals are sooooo loose 😳

#she ra #my thoughts #sorry bfs morally ambiguous gals just hit different #hell yeah another banger from my drafts dated 4 months ago #super pal trio #my footprints #my she ra stuff

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sphylor · 6 months

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Rain, unprompted: sometimes when i eat peas i dont chew them straight away and imagine my mouth is a little ballpit

Dew: i think you should be studied for science

#another banger from my drafts #Rain and Dew are weird and gross

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danvillecheese · 11 months

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i still have four polls in my drafts lmao

#among like fifteen shitposts and another few analysis posts that are still on the burner.#one of these days i will have zero drafts. today is not that day #I have some bangers but I’ll be honest the tags have been dry as of late #I’m like filling in time waiting for the rest of hng s1 and the pnf reboot #you know how it is

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dilfsuzanneyk · 7 months

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is that a vibraslap in your pants or does your penis go pkrrrrrrr

#ah. another banger from the drafts #vex rambles

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imovyn · 1 month

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i have a lot of Big Ideas and one of them is Run Around In The Woods Naked And Eat Dirt

#another banger from the drafts. what did i mean by this

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khadgarbignaturals · 10 months

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Dad said it’s my turn on the obsidian throne

#another banger from the drafts #where’s that wrathion redraw #world of warcraft

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chaotic-neutral-knitter · 3 months

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Being an adult is great bc you have so much control over your own life. But then of course there is also The Nausea.

#yet another banger from my drafts #how much of The Horrors are just nausea #my nonsense

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pleckthaniel · 1 year

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I'm way, way more creeped by people who are super control-freaky and perfectionist with their Sims than the people who dress them as clowns and drown them in pools tbh. Like the latter is roughly the equivalent of taking your dolls apart or something, you clearly see them as objects and are just treating them as such. Whereas people who keep their sims skinny and 'perfect' looking by obsessively tracking their diets and never letting them finish a meal. Or who put loads of makeup CC on toddlers and dress them in 'designer' clothes to replace the default diaper. Or 'punish' their Sims for disobeying them. It's like, you clearly see them as naughty children or mischievous pets or LIVING things somehow, and you're treating them worse.

#scout talks #another banger from drafts #q #scouts reddit adventures #bc i wrote this while scrolling the sims sub lol

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