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alpacaparkaseok · 3 years

Text

Mine

12. Skydiving with no parachute

Genre: Min Yoongi x oc

Warnings: none

Word Count: 3.3k

“You’re all packed and ready to go, right?” Sebastian’s voice is loud and clear as I put him on speaker phone and place him on the nightstand.

“Just about,” I respond, folding another shirt and placing it in my suitcase. “I’m just wrapping it up right now. What time will you guys be here tomorrow?”

Bong-cha is out for a meeting at the Bighit building, she promised to come back as soon as possible so we could enjoy the evening together. I decided to make the most of my afternoon and pack everything up.

“Rhea said we’ll swing by at 6.”

Our flight leaves tomorrow morning at 9:30, sending us back over to Europe for another week of promos and then we’ll be off to the states. Home sweet home.

“Ok, sounds great.”

“See ya tomorrow.”

“Bye.”

For all that’s gone on over the past few weeks, today is too calm and quiet. I have the entire house to myself, nobody is blowing up my phone, and I have nowhere to really go today. Any other day, I would have been over the moon about my current situation...but I can’t help but feel a little restless.

Yoongi and I brainstormed yesterday for a long time, trying to figure out just how we were going to make this work. Living on opposite sides of the world and the both of us having busy schedules that just so happen to be in the spotlight isn’t exactly making this easy.

There was a point yesterday where Yoongi stopped mid-sentence and looked at me with bright red cheeks.

“Is this moving too fast? I mean, I know you said we’re on the same page, but I think we should try to make this as normal as possible, you know?”

That statement alone was enough to have me swooning over him all over again. “I’m with you on that. I think right now...should we just focus on the basics?”

To be honest, I still don’t even know what we are, but I’m just happy to know that we are something.

At least, that’s what I’m trying to entertain myself with now that I’m just sitting on the couch and staring at Bong-cha’s TV. I’m not even sure what I’m watching, the thoughts in my head are too loud to think around anyway.

There’s a lot that I end up doing within the confines of the apartment. I can safely say that I’ve completed 12 ½ squats, 3 pushups, and one thirty second wall sit.

I’ve also eaten approximately three meals in the past two hours, so yeah. Boredom can be a dangerous thing, can’t it?

The reality of the situation is this: I’ve completed everything I need to do for the day, and now I’m just trying to stop myself from marching back into my room and folding Yoongi’s black shirt for the fifth time.

Eventually I end up scrolling through the outlines my agent has sent me, mulling over each option. There’s one project that is especially calling my name, but from what I’ve heard there’s a couple of pretty big actresses going after it.

I’m in the middle of a very convincing monologue when Bong-cha walks in.

“Wow,” she chuckles at me while dropping her bag on the counter. “Looks like you’re having a great time.”

“Oh, yeah.” I shrug, putting my phone away. “I’m trying to memorize this monologue for an audition. It’s all about this forbidden love back in the 1700s, it sounds like it would be pretty intense. But people love that kind of crap, you know? Hey, how was your meeting?”

Bong-cha is slipping into her room to change into something more comfortable. “It was fine, pretty boring. Just wrapping up some final details. Jungkook said to tell you hello, by the way.”

We both know who I’m really itching to ask about, but I refrain from asking for the time being. “So what’s on the agenda for tonight? We can go out, eat at that one restaurant, you know the one by the park? That place never gets old. Or we can stay in, order takeout.” I quickly add once I notice the look of pure exhaustion on Bong-cha’s face.

Rolling her shoulders, she shoots me a tired smile. “Don’t you want to go out? I don’t want to be lame for your last night here.”

“No, I really don’t care. Sometimes it’s nice to just chill at home.”

It doesn’t take much more convincing before Bong-cha is on the phone and ordering up some food. We settle down in the front room, bickering over different movies and chatting about my promo schedule.

“So you’re going back to Europe? Why? Weren’t you just there?”

I shrug my shoulders. “Yeah, but we weren’t able to finish up everything that we wanted to because we came here. So we’ll be there for a week in Germany and Italy.”

“And then you’re heading home?”

“Yep.”

“When are you going to start bringing me souvenirs? I always-” Bong-cha is cut off by the sound of someone knocking on the door. “Oh, there’s the food. Anyways, like I was saying- oh!”

I jump up from my seat, heart pounding in my chest as I hope against hope that a certain dear friend of mine is at the door.

“Hi, I intercepted your delivery guy.”

Jimin holds up our food with a shy smile, giving me a little wave. Bong-cha takes a moment to recover, but when she does she invites him in and scolds him for doing the deliverer’s job.

“Are you packed now?” Jimin asks me from where he’s unloading our food on the counter. Bong-cha is moving about in a frenzy, pulling glasses from the cupboards and shooting me panicked expressions any chance she gets.

It’s all I can do to not burst out laughing at the situation. “Yeah, everything is ready to go. Actually, would you mind taking something back to Yoongi for me?” When Jimin nods I rush into my room and grab the black t-shirt from my bed.

“Wow, you stole his clothes? That’s pretty bold of you,” Jimin teases me before setting the shirt down where he’ll remember it. “Here’s your plate.”

I take the plate from him, making some lame excuse about needing something from the kitchen and sidling over to Bong-cha. “Invite him to stay for the movie,” I breathe out, hoping she hears me.

“Have you eaten?” Bong-cha asks as she stomps on my foot. I yelp, rushing out of the kitchen.

“No, not yet. I’ll eat later, though.”

“Well...Cara and I were just going to watch a movie tonight. You can stay if you want, we’ll order more food.”

Jimin’s smile could power New York City as he looks at Bong-cha. “Sure, that’d be nice.”

We fall into an easy conversation, the three of us lounging about and scarfing down our food. Jimin ends up ordering a ghastly amount of food and treats, so much that it looks like we’re hosting a party. I can tell that Bong-cha is one churro away from offering Jimin her hand in marriage as he laughs at a funny part in the movie.

7:06 ME: Soooo Jimin and Bong-cha?

It’s surprisingly easy to angle my phone away from their attention as the two of them are lost in their own little world. One watches the movie while the other watches the person, and then they switch.

7:09 MYG: What, the fact that he’s completely whipped for her?

“What are you over there giggling about?” Bong-cha asks me, wiggling her eyebrows. Jimin tries to do the same, looking like some evil experiment.

“What? The movie is really funny.”

“Cara.”

“Yeah?”

“The main character’s mother just died.”

“Oh.”

Jimin leans back, stretching a bit. “I bet she’s texting Yoongi. That’s all he’s ever doing these days, anyways.” My face burns which leads Jimin to give a triumphant shout.

“Has he confessed his undying love for you yet?” Bong-cha asks. Jimin jumps in next.

“He basically did yesterday, didn’t he?”

“No, Cara just said that they’re working through the basics. No ‘I love yous’ or anything yet.”

“Yeah,” Jimin rests his hands on his knees, angling himself toward Bong-cha. “But actions speak louder than words.”

Now Bong-cha leans forward as well, my own participation in this conversation long forgotten. “That’s true, but you can’t just rely on actions alone! Sometimes words are necessary.”

“So girls want actions and words?”

“Of course they do! Actions can be misleading, words at least offer a clear explanation!”

Jimin looks like he’s caught between telling Bong-cha he loves her or pulling her closer. “But words can be misleading as well! Why can’t people just connect the dots through someone’s actions?”

7:12 ME: Oh my gosh they’ve got it baaaad

7:12 ME: This is honestly the most fun I’ve had all day, just watching them. Are they always this oblivious?

“Because nobody should have to rely on that one thing alone! There should be a healthy balance between actions and words. Say what you intend, and follow up with your actions! It’s as simple as that!” Bong-cha is nearly panting, but there’s a hint of a smile curling around her lips.

Jimin scans her face for a moment longer, eyes lingering on the bridge of her nose and the way her hair falls into her face when she’s riled up.

“Huh. Interesting.” With that Jimin sits back, returning his attention to the screen. Bong-cha follows suit almost immediately.

“Idiots,” I mumble under my breath.

“What was that?” Bong-cha asks.

“Oh, nothing. Just reading out loud.”

🌙

12:17 MYG: Sorry, I just got out of a meeting. I didn’t mean to not respond. To answer your question, yes. They’re always like that.

I’m wide awake and staring up at the ceiling when Yoongi messages me. Snatching my phone from the bedside table, I scan the text.

12:18 ME: You just finished your meeting? Why was it so late?

12:20 MYG: I had to change some things with the mixtape, so there were a lot of things to go over.

Frowning, I hastily type out another question.

12:21 ME: What are you changing? I thought it was perfect the way it was before, but I’m sure whatever you changed will be good too.

12:25 MYG: It’s not as bad as it sounds. I just finally found a concept that I thought really fit. Now we’re just trying to make sure everything flows with the concept.

12:27 ME: What’s the new concept?

A while passes before Yoongi responds, and I try to trick myself into thinking that we’re done talking for the night so I can finally get some rest. Of course, once my phone lights up with a new message I’m just as awake as ever.

12:52 MYG: You’ll see when it drops in December 😌

12:55 ME: Rude.

12:57 MYG: Aren’t you supposed to be sleeping right now? What time are you leaving in the morning?

1:00 ME: Leaving here at 6, flight leaves at 9:30.

Sighing into the darkness I watch at those three little dots appear at the bottom of the screen. I can’t lie and say that I wasn’t disappointed that I didn’t even get to see Yoongi today, but it’s just now that I’m realizing I didn’t even get to say goodbye.

I’ve told myself a million times today that this is just how it’s going to be, and that I’ll just take what I can get. If it’s tired late night texts, then I’ll take it.

I think that scares me. It scares me, how little I want from him. How he has so much sway over my heart.

It’s a good scary, I think. Like the kind of scared you get before you jump out of a plane, your first time going skydiving. Right now I’m just hoping that my parachute isn’t riddled with holes, but as I stare at those three little dots, I’m wondering if I even remembered to put a parachute on in the first place.

1:02 MYG: You should go to sleep, Car. Let’s facetime tomorrow? Just shoot me a text when you land.

As my tired fingers text out a goodnight, I can’t help but feel like I’m an idiot for skydiving without a parachute, because the ground seems to be approaching too fast.

🌙

All I know is there’s an alarm going off, and I want to kill it.

“Whaaaat do you want from meeee,” I groan out as I fumble in the darkness for my phone. Once it’s silenced, I check the time.

5:15 am. I’m disgusted.

Stumbling around the room until I hit the lightswitch, I hiss as light fills the room. Through squinted eyes I can see my suitcase and the clothes I laid out for today. I’m ashamed to say that I nearly sustained a concussion while attempting to put my pants on, my tangled legs and the dresser being the main culprits.

I think it goes without saying that by the time I emerge from the room and finish brushing my teeth, I’m ready to go back to bed.

The sounds of Bong-cha using the toaster guide me, suitcase in tow. Now comes the hardest part: saying goodbye.

“Do you want jam as well or just butter?” A deep, tired sounding voice asks me.

Min Yoongi stands before the toaster, decked out in sweats and a sweatshirt. His hair is a mess, standing up on the ends. His eyes are still half-closed, his lips in a pout as he turns to face me.

I gape at him, taking in what I think might be his best choice of outfit ever. “Is this a dream?”

He shakes his head slowly. “It’s too cold outside to be a dream. Jam or just butter?”

Later I’ll cover for myself and claim that my tears were just a side effect of the early morning and the long day ahead of me, but right now I can’t think up any excuse as hot tears start falling down my cheeks.

“J-jam.”

Yoongi’s eyes widen as he notices my predicament, and he clears the kitchen in no time, leaving the toast abandoned. I think he must be tired as well, because he doesn’t even hesitate before pulling me into his arms and squeezing me tight.

My arms wrap around his back, hands getting lost in the fabric of his hoodie. He presses his lips to the top of my head, the action causing me to snuggle in even deeper and get his hoodie all wet with my tears.

“Y-you came...and made m-me toast?” The words are muffled, but it’s quiet enough in the house that he hears me.

“Should I not have?” Yoongi asks, and I pull away just enough to look up at him, scowling.

“No, I’m happy you d-did. It’s just…” I take a steadying breath, more tears flooding my eyes as Yoongi looks down at me with a soft expression I’ve never seen before.

“I know.” He pulls me back in, hands rubbing soothing circles on my back. “I know, Car.”

We stay like that for a long while, and it’s only when my sniffles have subsided that Yoongi gently takes my hands in his and leads me over to the kitchen island. I sit down, watching as he spreads butter and then jam onto my toast.

Setting the plate before me he reaches into the fridge for some orange juice and pours us both a glass.

“Sorry, it’s probably cold now.”

I shake my head, taking another bite. “Still tastes good. Thank you.”

“Oh, that reminds me.” Yoongi gets up, one hand tracing over my shoulders and he walks over to the couch. “This is for you.”

He hands me a small package wrapped in brown wrapping paper, a black ribbon tied around the middle. I raise my eyebrows at him.

“A present? Can I open it?”

“Open it when you get to your hotel tonight.” Yoongi looks a bit embarrassed as he sits back down, and I realize that he might be feeling a little out of his element here. After all, when was the last time he ever had a relationship?

I get up and put the package away in my suitcase, groaning when I check the time. Everyone should be here in about 5 minutes.

“Times up?”

Looking up I see Yoongi wandering over to me, hands pushing his hair back in an effort to tame it. I nod solemnly.

We don’t speak a word as I meet him halfway, fingers entangling themselves in the hair at the nape of his neck. He closes his eyes for a moment, and I take advantage of the situation, leaning up and pressing a peck to his jaw.

I can hear his sharp intake of breath, quickly followed by Bong-cha’s annoyed voice.

“Really? Get a room, losers.”

Blushing madly, I try to squirm out of Yoongi’s grasp but his gruff laugh has me stilling in his arms. “Turn around, Bong-cha.” Without waiting to see if she will, Yoongi leans down and presses a long, slow kiss to my lips.

It’s not nearly long enough as the sound of a car honking outside pulls us apart. Yoongi has a somber look in his eyes as he gives me an encouraging nod and a small peck to my forehead before stepping back.

Bong-cha skips forward, launching herself into my arms. “You two are gross, but I still love you.”

“Love you too,” I whisper, my tears threatening to make a reappearance. Bong-cha seems to pick up on it, shoving the handle of my suitcase into my hands and pushing me toward the door.

Yoongi beats me to it, swinging it open and clenching his jaw as a blast of cold air hits us. Without a word he takes my suitcase and heads out, leaving me with nothing to do but follow him and hope I have everything.

“Bong-cha?” I turn around to see my friend wrapping her arms around her middle.

“Yeah?”

“Keep me updated. Jimin...he really likes you.”

My friend doesn’t have it in her to roll her eyes, instead just nodding before waving me off. She’s never been one for goodbyes.

Yoongi is already at the car, handing my suitcase off to Ren who hoists it into the car. He looks like he’s freezing, but as he turns to wave me over I decide that freezing looks good on him.

“Be careful, call me, text me, have a safe flight-”

“You’ve got to stop worrying so much, Yoongs.”

Smiling down at me even as he shivers, Yoongi pulls me in for another embrace. There are so many words hanging between us, but I choose to sweep past them and opt to nuzzle my face deeper into Yoongi’s neck.

“See you soon.”

I sigh, hoping that I will. “Yeah, soon.”

🌙

The airport, flight, and car ride to the hotel pass in a blur of shapes and colors. I vaguely remember there being a mob at both the Seoul and Berlin airports, but I was stuffed so tightly between security that I could hardly see anything.

Now, sitting on the edge of my bed, I hold onto the little package from Yoongi. Holding my breath, I untie the ribbon and tear open the paper, chewing on my lip.

An audible gasp leaves my lips as I hold up Yoongi’s black t-shirt. As it unfolds, a small slip of paper flutters to the ground. Holding the shirt to my nose I grin as I realize Yoongi must have sprayed it with his cologne. I wonder who’s idea that was; my bet is on Jimin.

Grabbing the paper, I flip it over to see Yoongi’s handwriting.

It looks better on you.

Chuckling softly to myself, I hurry and slip the shirt over my head. It’s quiet in here, but soon the sound of my video call fills the room as I anxiously wait for Yoongi to pick up.

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anxiety-trademark · 3 years

Text

The week in review:

Raw 09/21 NXT 09/23 NXT UK 09/24 Smackdown 09/25 Clash of Champions 09/27 + Main Event 09/24

Raw:

Billie’s not wrong. None of these people are wrong. That title has fallen so fucking far since Becky held it, Jesus.

Interesting to see Billie Kay be somewhat (?) supportive of Peyton. Manager?

I implore women to stop using red eyeliner unless you’re trying to look possessed.

Oh at least Mickie’s gonna have her last match with her snazzy pants on.

God that theme music is so outdated.

If there was one person on the roster that could convince me they wrestled in the Diva’s era, it’d be Mickie James.

Beautiful Octopus, dare I say best in the division. Look at those crossed legs. Just beautiful, Zelina.

Man it was cool watching Zelina reverse the powerbomb attempt into a rollup, but Mickie couldn’t be bothered to get her shoulders down for a 2 count before the reversal. Shame.

Zelina needs an increase to her speed to pull off the style she’s going for, but it’s a fun style.

oof I think Mickie actually caught Zelina’s forehead with that high kick.

Seated Senton off the top rope is garbage and I hate it.

Lmfao Zelina won with a backstabber. She’s literally Sasha-lite. Okay.

Word was Bianca was the star of the pc combine, right? So if you wanna showcase her strength, do it against someone I fucking know lmao. Who was this bro? Of course she’s stronger than a nobody in the pc. Friggin Alexa Bliss can effortlessly give piggy back rides to Sheamus. That’s impressive, because I know how strong and big he is. This could’ve been done better is all I’m saying. Maybe do a sitdown interview with her pc peeps hyping her up, or show footage of her blowing everyone in the combine out the park. Idk.

Ruby stop hyping up Nia and Shayna individually, individually they suck lol lesbireal.

So did Ruby just give Liv her shirt? …You know what, it works, I’m not gonna dig into this.

I feel like all women use the same starting moves against Nia and it’s a little tired ngl. They do this headscissors into a standing crucifix hold, and then slide down to try and roll her up. Then she picks them up and headbutts them. Come on peeps.

Mk just throw Lana through another table, she’s as useless in the ring (kf wise) as Liv is on commentary (non-kf wise)

Let me rewind, how did Nattie get taken out this time? A punch again. COOL. Nattie confirmed worst tag partner in the history of the division.

Lmfao rip Lana. Bye.

Wow we just said fuck entrances huh? Ugh God. Imagine Becky not getting an entrance as a damn champion.

So Peyton forgoes jumping for the German suplex, which could’ve resulted in her landing on Asuka’s head, and her reaction is to laugh. Consummate professional. Becky Lynch’s optic cranial nerve injury (caused by a failed German suplex) called, it can’t seem to find the humor.

Idk what that double underhooked move was by Peyton, but it was nice.

What bothers me about Peyton’s spinning heel kick, is as high as she gets it, she only hits people with her calf. Awkward to see.

That attempted transition into the Asuka Lock was... something.

Highlight: Lana going through the table

---

NXT:

Did Tegan say “why me” to Candice fucking her knee up with a metal pipe? Somebody get this girl some tissues.

Haha watching Tegan writhe in pain is funny. Candice gets points. And I do not like giving Candice points.

Really appreciate Rhea’s theme after hearing so much generic garbage lately. She’s so done with nxt as a performer, she has passed literally all of them by.

Not to be that person, but seeing so many people in the ring together bothers me. If one person was sick, literally all of them are sick now. It’s just kinda yikes.

Did they forego having a crowd? If so, wise. There’s enough ppl in the ring and at ringside.

Rhea fucking yeeted that girl into the barrier lmaooo.

“...Marina Shafir who’s done some great things on Raw Underground recently,” lmao sure.

The absolute half-assed attempt by that girl to pull herself up before Rhea booted her down to the floor was questionable.

So adding all these random peeps from the pc to this battle royal was done solely to have Raquel and Rhea flex for their feud in 4 months, huh.

Kacy does cool shit, wbk lmao. Gets kicked out, lands on her back, rolls into a handstand, rotates, pulls herself up into the ring using her feet on the ropes; gets kicked out, lands on the side of the guardrail, pulls herself up, uses the plexiglass to help balance herself, jumps onto the stairs; gets kicked out, lands on the side of the guardrail, stands on Kayden’s shoulders and gets chauffeured back to the ring. Brilliant. Would be overkill in a Royal Rumble, but it works here.

R&R eliminate each other/themselves together. Fitting. Dakota “help me I’m useless on my own” Kai is shook.

Why is Indi in the top 5? Or top 7? How is this girl so damn prestigious??

Kacy really just slung herself around the ringpost. I’m becoming a fan of her antics/performances in multiwomen matches.

I see Shotzi’s character is, “I come so close yet cannot manage to touch the gold.” I feel for her... cuz I can’t stand Candice.

Boooo

I love how Io carries herself. She’s a shining example of not allowing her heritage to hold her back or make her feel unimportant. She responds in Japanese, and without missing a beat, translates in perfectly spoken and quick English. Never dances, never smiles, never looks like a chump. Serious and answers the damn question. She gets points.

Highlight: Kacy shenanigans

---

NXT UK:

Lol I love KLR so much. Just ducks out of the ring the first time she’s bested.

“KLR is well versed in mental manipulation,” that she is. She’s honestly a top competitor in that sense; equal to the likes of Sasha and Charlotte when it comes to psychology.

Piper’s got power. Ragdolling KLR here.

That’s right, performing with Charlotte Flair at wm is an accolade one can only hope to achieve (I’m annoying I know) no but seriously, KLR vs Becky Lynch? Take my money.

Nice Superkick, nice Tornado ddt.

Dear ref, stop yelling at her and restart the count. Dweeb.

Lmao self inflicted wreckage of her knee.

This ref is a walking headache. We’re now getting into the autumn of overbooked women’s matches. And UK’s first title match back. Yikes.

That senton was awkward and looked painful af for KLR’s neck. If you’re gonna risk that move while selling a leg injury, make sure you have more space to correct your landing.

I almost wish that turnbuckle came undone naturally because KLR is already such a good seller, but I’m gonna assume this is a worked move since it’s been left exposed.

Yeah see there are issues with that spot. Positives: KLR didn’t purposefully undo the turnbuckle, so it’s not on her to give another title match; the spot has potential, as I’m guessing that would be genuinely painful. Negatives: Piper is too big of a woman to hit the lower turnbuckle doing the cannonball, so she ended up hitting the middle... which was padded. Good ending on paper if you don’t do the equations, but poor execution. Not Piper nor KLR’s fault though.

Slow pacing and I hate overbooked garbage, but this obviously isn’t the only match they’re having so *shrug*

Highlight: Clean tornado ddt, and I do love KLR’s selling

---

Smackdown:

Lol Bayley has her chair. She automatically gets a point every time I see it.

Top of the ramp this time? Okay, sure.

Stop cutting to the fancams, production. I don’t care about their reactions.

A fine enough promo to move along both of her angles, but production sucks. Wbk though.

“...one of the most complex personalities,” which personality of Alexa’s are we referring to, though?

Their timing on her pyro was off and now I’m sad. The pops during the breakdown leading into the fountains are fucking amazing and honestly cannot be topped by any of the other women.

When did Alexa stop wearing her gloves to the ring? Probably when she turned face. Shame.

She just called Lacey bitter, southern tea, and you know what? What a fucking drag. Imagine bitter southern tea. As someone who was raised in the south, that is a disgrace to southern tea. Sweet sun tea or pass.

Look at Alexa: selling Lacey’s strength, full of agile speed, and yet here’s Lacey not even bothering to put her shoulders down for her pin attempt. SAD.

A problem I consistently have with SD in particular is how they set up commercial breaks. They always do something dramatic, cut to commercial, come back and shit’s always completely different. How you gonna cut from Alexa leading and hearing the Fiend’s laugh, to return to Lacey in charge ???

Dear Cole, why are you calling her Alexis lol. Like I know that’s her real name but, hello??

oof Alexa’s midsection is beet red.

Lacey has not been putting on a “clinic” stop tossing that term around, Cole. Good bump by Alexa though.

Love how Lacey doesn’t mind landing flat when her moonsault misses. Respect. Her and Charlotte both eat that so perfectly.

LOVE how the monitors of people turned into Fiend’s face. POINTS.

It’s like she’s reverted back to her heel persona. This is literally 2016 Bliss, right? Right??

Roman is a large, strong, intimidating guy... but holy shit the visual of 5′1 Alexa staring daggers into the back of his head is intense af. I almost complained that he cut off her exit, but well done with the continuity.

Highlight: I’m really digging the Alexa/Fiend story

---

Clash of Champions:

Loving the red roots, hate the eyeshadow.

See, if Asuka wants to fuck around in the ring, you won’t hear me complain. I just wish she took her non-wrestling segments more seriously.

The patience Asuka gave Zelina to set up the arm kick was dumb.

“A hard arm bar by Asuka,” he says, even though her legs were completely bent. Easy on the credit given plz.

Zelina telegraphs too much. None of the bumps she takes ever catch me by surprise.

In the spirit of being fair, put your fucking shoulders down and let her attempt a pinfall, Asuka.

Haha Sasha-lite did meteora in the corner.

Nice roll into a kick, half point for Zelina.

No you don’t get to sell frustration or disbelief yet, that’s not buyable.

I don’t know wtf Zelina was going for with that counter before the Asuka Lock, but honestly idc. Could’ve been a kickoff match indeed. State of Becky’s title btw.

Every week it’s the same shit with Asuka. She gets on the mic, speaks Japanese, barely accomplishes anything, then gets interrupted/slapped/attacked... with dancing and smiling inbetween. I really wish she was more like Io.

Nikki isn’t “medically cleared to compete”, and the tag team titles aren’t being defended. My memory is fuzzy but wasn’t there some covid concerns going around back then? Was that just baseless speculation?

Love that Bayley turned this into an opportunity to be a bigger douche than she already was lol.

IS SHE DOING A VICTORY LAP LMAO

I want to hate this from a smarky “give other women a chance” perspective, but Bayley is an ass and this is great for Asuka to build credit as a face, and after being made to look foolish yet again. Lesgo.

Lol sounded like Bayley said, “you think you can cuck me?” I’m sure she didn’t. I’m choosing to believe she did though.

I never know exactly who to blame when Asuka’s Codebreaker looks ugly, but I swear Charlotte is the only one it looks impactful with. Sell job isn’t the problem, but taking that actual move is always dicey af.

Great kick by Asuka. Rekt.

Bayley says nah fuck this rofl. Fair ending; a fun little sprint of meaningless jabs.

“Chairwoman of SD” I like that too, Graves. Points to you.

LMAOOO Bayley set that shit up perfectly kekekek what’s up Sasha.

She be looking fucking incredible, but that neckbrace is a mega bummer.

Character wise, I’m surprised Bayley’s choosing to dole out punishment rather than taking her title and bolting.

Welp maybe she should have, Sasha going to town lmao.

oof peep that red line going down Bayley’s arm. eesh. Welts all over her back.

Highlight: Sasha beating the shit out of Bayley with a kendo stick

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*BONUS*

Main Event:

You don’t pan the camera over to fucking commentary during Bianca’s entrance. Do better @ production.

Ruby puts her confidence in Liv even though everybody knows Bianca is winning this match lmao.

LOVE Liv’s boots.

like 20 seconds into the match and it’s already 10x better than the Bianca vs Billie Kay one. Don’t even waste a spot on Main Event for Billie Kay. No, I’m not not sorry for saying that.

It’s not that I hold issue with Bianca’s showboating or mannerisms, but it’s all so much more fitting for a heel.

Beautiful stalling suplex, but Liv is rather small.

Beautiful distance on that dropkick to Liv. Liv gets points for throwing herself so far.

We have enough women who rip their shirts off deep into matches, me thinks. Don’t need it from Liv as well.

Momentum could’ve been split better, but that was a decent match.

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*Clash of Champions would be my highlighted event mostly thanks to Bayley, but if that’s a cop out, I’ll give a slight nod to Smackdown’s handling of Alexa.

#wwe #issa review #feel free to ignore these #cuz who tf cares lesbihonest #today's props goes to:#bayley

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