Okay. I officially hate myself.
I went to sleep last night instead of eating dinner. Skipped straight past all the cravings cuz I wanted to weigh less. Convinced I could do it too. Oh the idiocy of me! Had my breakfast, a homemade chicken salad w roasted pecans and cranberries. Inside one 8 inch wrap that’s just 213 calories for Two Tblsp of the salad. “Salad” It’s just chicken, pecans, and cranberries wolled up in the smush of non-fat greek yoghurt and some miracle whip w lots of fresh dill and mint ground up and some black pepper and red onion. One corndog cuz I had to appease the deomns stressing about my lack of fat and that gives me another 220. Lunch had rolled around then and of course came my half a turkey sandwich: One slice of aldi white bread (65) 1.2 oz black pepper turkey (30) .4oz of lite miracle whip (15 for the record just in case anyone needs in on this yummy low cal advice. Cuz a little surely does go such a long ways) and 1.5 strings of black licorice. A whopping total of 159 calories. Plus breakfast and I’m majorly below a grand. But what happens this morning???? WhaAt dost THOU thinkst!??? Of course I’ve gained again. Betting it’s false weight but still fuck the scale. fucking 118.7 I hate these ass-tagious fluctuations. Swear to the sacred cow god of Yore that if I get my fucking period this month I’m going to go on a trecherous killing spree through every garden and none of the ants and cockroaches shall survive. I will exact my wrath on all of them.
I’m so pissed at this point and I’m also fucking starving. But I can’t eat. I can’t eat cuz if I do it’ll only give this assfaced scale more permission to keep fucking creeping. I finally know what the great Sandler felt when he wrote these few phenomenal, evocative lyrics,
“Kill me. I’m on my knees pretty pretty please kill me. Somebody kill me please Somebody kill me please I want to die. Put a bullet in my head.” So poetic. I’m gonna be a death by cheeseburger.
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Passenger - 'I Hate' ♫
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=otFmtLe9NvM
Well, I hate racist blokes, telling tasteless jokes,
And explaining where people belong.
I hate ignorant folks, who pay money to see gigs,
And talk through everything fucking song.
I hate people in nightclubs, snorting coke,
And explaining where you're going wrong.
Well, if you agree, come hate it with me,
And feel free to sing along.
And it goes la, la la la la, la la la la, la la la la etc.
And it goes la, la la la la, la la la la, la la la la etc
And I hate pointless status updates on Facebook,
'FYI', we were never mates.
We pretend to be friends on the internet,
Yet when in real life we have nothing to say to each other,
Oh, brother, I've love for my mother,
For good times, for music and for my mates.
Yeah, I love and I live, and I have love to give,
But sometimes, all you can do is hate.
And it goes la, la la la la, la la la la, la la la la etc.
And it goes la, la la la la, la la la la, la la la la etc
I hate them fussy eaters, you cook them fajitas,
They only eat pizza and chips.
I hate stepping outside for a smoke, and some guy coughs,
Like your lungs are his.
And I hate queuing up for festival toilets,
Especially when you need a shit.
I hate the X-factor, for murdering music,
You bunch of money grabbing pricks.
And it goes la, la la la la, la la la la, la la la la etc.
And it goes la, la la la la, la la la la, la la la la etc
And I hate them magazines, aimed at insecure teens,
They make ten year olds race to throw up.
"Hey kids lets be anoerxic", or better, eat chocolate 'til you throw up.
Keep your Hollywood stars, in their stupid cars,
And the botox, that makes them looked fucked.
Just grow old with grace, have you seen Cher's face?
It looks like it's been hit by a truck.
And it goes la, la la la la, la la la la, la la la la etc
And it goes la, la la la la, la la la la, la la la la etc
And it goes la, la la la la, la la la la, la la la la etc
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