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#anna belle kaufman
anxsity · 2 years
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inevitability
Richard Siken // Anna Belle Kaufman, "Cold Solace" // Ada Limón, "Accident Report in the Tall, Tall Weeds"
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alas-pooryorick · 1 year
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On Friendship, Falling in Love and Falling Apart, pt. 2 (pt. 1, pt. 3, pt. 4)
Ode to Friendship, Noor Hindi
The Truth Has Three Sides, Sabrina Benaim
I've Got a Dark Alley and a Bad Idea That Says You Should Shut Your Mouth (Summer Song), Fall Out Boy
Autumn, Patty Dickson Pieczka
Unknown
Unknown
Nature Poem, Chen Chen
Planet of Love, Richard Siken
Ever Yours: The Essential Letters, Vincent Van Gogh
Just Like Heaven, The Cure
Speeches for Dr. Frankenstein, Margaret Atwood
The Dialogue of Desire and Guilt, J.D. McClatchy
Someplace Like Montana, Ada Limón
Cold Solace, Anna Belle Kaufman
Fleabag (2016-2019)
Litany in Which Certain Things Are Crossed Out, Richard Siken
Your Love Finds Its Way Back, Sierra DeMulder
The Diaries of Katherine Mansfield
Moments, Mary Oliver
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"Flood", Wideawake Field: Poems, Eliza Griswold//Cold Solace, Anna Belle Kaufman
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taizi · 4 months
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in the mouth of the world
one piece word count: 1k written for @op-secret-santa 2023 and my giftee was @viktorclawthorne ! viktor, two of your favorite characters are zoro and sanji, and one of your favorite pairings is platonic zolu, so this is what i came up with. i really, really hope you like it !
read on ao3
x
Sanji is in the kitchen, sleeves rolled up to his elbows, hair tied back with one of Usopp’s scrunchies, trying to remember if the raspberry or the pistachio macarons went over better last time. His friends inhaled them all in a matter of minutes, but Sanji can’t recall which ones went first.
In the end, he goes with mango. The fruits are ripe, cheerful orange, and their color pings as appropriate in his mind.
These pastries are finicky at best, and a punishment from god at worst, so leveling the battlefield by removing extra heat and moisture from his workstation is always step one. As a result, the room is very cool, the door propped open to let in the crisp winter air, a fan borrowed from Franky’s workshop whirring away in the corner. 
Zoro and Luffy are in the galley, sitting around the scarred kitchen table—ostensibly to keep Sanji company while he works, but more likely just waiting around to see if they get tossed any scraps. 
As Sanji whips meringue, he finds his attention wandering back to the two of them in time to pick up part of their conversation.
“—be anything,” Luffy is saying, spreading his arms out wide as if to encompass the full scope of just how big the concept is he’s talking about. “There are no rules and it can be as weird or funny as you want! What would you pick?”
Zoro hums, giving it some thought. A stranger might be surprised to learn it, Sanji thinks, given how severe and forbidding their first mate appears at a glance, but he is generally the first to fold when it comes to catering to their captain’s whims. This terror of a swordsman, this nightmare of a pirate, simply follows Luffy’s every step without even looking to see where it might lead, like a no-nonsense Belgian Shepherd plodding along behind a bouncy border collie. 
That’s true for battle and danger as much as it’s true for shenanigans. Zoro is worth millions, is as much a killer and a criminal as any of those other Wanted men his posters are displayed beside, but he isn’t afraid to look silly. Not if it’s Luffy reaching back for him, sunny grin amped up to eleven, calling Zoro, you too! Come with me!
Zoro says, “Time, then.”
Luffy rocks up in his seat, eyes round and impressed, and says, “Time travel? Like the Fruit that Momonosuke’s mom ate, that sends you forward?”
“Mm. But mine would go backwards,” Zoro explains, leaning into the game of make-believe. “It would only work one time and it would start me back at the very beginning.”
Zoro’s birthday was a month ago, and Sanji made a dark chocolate truffle cake infused with enough liqueur that he guiltily baked a lighter version for the younger half of the crew. But Zoro had taken one bite of the boozy dessert and his eyebrows flew up to his hairline. He doesn’t usually go in for sweets, but the bitterness of the chocolate paired with the velvet smoothness of the liqueur seemed to win him over instantly. 
It isn’t in their nature to thank each other openly. From as far back as Thriller Bark, the best things they know about each other are secrets kept from everyone else. But Zoro took a second piece when Robin’s extra hands offered him one, which said much more than any effusive praise would have anyway. 
Just last week, it was Chopper’s birthday, and Sanji whipped up about a hundred triple-strawberry cupcakes, filled with ganache, topped with cloud-like icing and sugared fruit and sprinkles, and it was worth it for the way his little brother’s face went slack with awe when he took in the spread. 
Until Robin and Vivi’s birthdays in February, there are no specialized desserts Sanji needs to prepare. His nakama will sometimes have a craving, and he tends to keep sweet things on deck for those nights when sleep is not forthcoming, for those cloudy days when it’s hard to see the sun waiting for them beyond the storm, but he rarely makes macarons just for fun. 
The timing, the temperature, the moisture, all of it has to be exact, or the shells will crack, or the feet will spread, or they’ll come out hollow. It’s not a hard recipe, it’s just annoying. It’s the last thing he learned from Zeff, because he perfected every other dish on the menu well before he made a halfway decent batch of macarons. 
No one asked for these. Sanji is well-aware that he doesn’t have to be standing here, sacrificing the bulk of his day to this thankless task, but he’s already in it now. The buttercream and mango curd are ready, and the shells are about to go in the oven. 
“A one-time Fruit!” Luffy exclaims. Zoro could have said he would pick a Fruit that would turn his hair a different color every day and Luffy would have sounded equally as fascinated. “You would go all the way back? Do you want to change that much?”
“My Fruit wouldn’t work that way,” Zoro explains simply. “I wouldn’t be able to change anything or the future I was from where I used the Fruit wouldn’t exist, would it? It would have to stay exactly the same for me to get back there.”
Zoro doesn’t want a Fruit—neither does Sanji. They spend half their lives dragging their nakama who are already anchors out of the sea. 
Besides that, Sanji wants to meet All Blue properly the day he finds her. He’s going to swim for hours and hours and barely remember to come up for air. A Fruit would only take from him more than it could ever give. 
And Zoro has never cut corners when it comes to his own strength. But there’s something in his tone that makes Sanji wonder if he’s thought about this before. 
“What if you wanted to, though?” Luffy asks. “Or what if you had the chance to stop something bad before it happened?”
“No changes,” Zoro says adamantly. “No diversions. I would have to live it all over again.”
Sanji remembers all the stories Luffy tells his crew about the trouble he and his brothers got into when they were children. He said there was a pâtisserie in High Town where chefs and bakers created decadent desserts catered only to the nobles. When they snuck around that part of the kingdom, a brightly-colored dessert in the display window there would always catch Ace’s eye.
Once, Sabo and Luffy broke into that pastry shop in the dead of night at the end of December, and made off with as many of those colorful macarons as they could carry. 
“Ace was angry,” Luffy laughed through his retelling. “He told Sabo we were lucky we didn’t get caught and have our hands chopped off. But he hugged me for a long time after he yelled at me. The cookies were for him, you know? For his birthday! You have to have your favorite on your birthday.” Luffy had smiled as if it didn’t hurt at all when he added, “Even back then, Ace was bad at being loved. Sabo said he just needed more practice. He said that’s what Ace had us for.”
“And then at the end,” Zoro says, “when I catch up to the future, and I’m back where I started, I would have more time.”
“How much more time?” Luffy asks.
“Not much,” Zoro admits. “Maybe a few minutes. The time I took to use the Fruit before would be free for me to use differently.”
“You’d relive your whole adventure for a few extra minutes at the end?” their captain says, brow furrowing while he makes sense of it. “Would it be worth it?”
Zoro sits back in his chair, his dark eye fixed on his captain the same way sailors follow Polaris relentlessly across the fathomless sea, and says, “Yes.”
The final baking tray goes into the oven. The macarons will be ready for tomorrow night, for the party they’re going to throw at the close of the year. At midnight, Sanji will cart them out—bright orange, each of them painted with whimsical little whorls of red—and they’ll wish Ace a happy birthday, wherever he is. They’ll wish he was still here to scold his baby brother and eat stolen pastries at midnight with the people who loved him best. They’ll resolve to protect Luffy and enjoy sweets in his name. 
It’ll be a good night. Luffy will be surrounded by his nakama and the open arms of the sea. If the macarons make him remember something sad, he won’t be alone. Luffy—unlike his brothers—is very good at being loved. 
Sanji washes his hands, sets the timer, and then calls over, “Hey, idiots, what do you want for dinner?”
Luffy appears beside him as if summoned by a magic spell, hopping up to sit on the counter before Sanji has a chance to wipe it down, sending up a little cloud of almond flour. 
“Beef!” he declares predictably. 
“That stew you made with red wine that one time,” comes Zoro’s contribution from where he’s still lounging at the table. 
Beef burgundy it is, Sanji thinks, hauling out his biggest soup pot. He nudges Luffy’s knee out of the way so he can close the cabinet door but otherwise leaves the young captain where he is.
“Sanji,” Luffy asks brightly, “if you could have any Devil’s Fruit in the whole world, what would you choose?”
“One that would make me a better swimmer,” Sanji replies without missing a beat, and turns his head to hide his smile when Luffy bursts into loud, ringing peals of laughter. 
But that strange, tricky, highly specific Fruit that Zoro dreamed up—one that would make him relive his life and everything he’s ever done, everything he’s endured, all the pain and fear and joy and breathless wonder, all for the sake of an extra minute at the end—a minute he could use to look up at Polaris one last time and say thanks for taking me with you. You didn’t have to do that. I hope I was everything to you that you were to me—
That wouldn’t be so bad, either. 
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jessaerys · 9 months
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the word father rotted in my mouth: i. tom stoppard, rosencrantz and guildenstern are dead. ii. nurnehpetsnur iii. anne carson, plainwater: essays and poetry iv. see notes. v. see notes. vi. genesis 4:9 vii. anaïs nin, winter of artifice viii. see notes. ix. slider.xxxxxxxx x. josh alex baker, death wish. xi. see notes. xii. eric larocca, things have gotten worse since we last spoke xiii. death note, c-kira one-shot. xiv. leah horlick, for your own good, xv. death note manga, L's death, mello's death. xvi. ocean vuong, someday i'll love, xvii. woyaocharlie xviii. death note short stories, a-kira one-shot. xix. anna belle kaufman, cold solace.
notes under the cut.
*iv. artist notoriously hard to track, there's several images on pinterest that are clearly the same style, tried with all of them and they all seem to come from a long deleted 2008 photobucket folder.
v. & viii. the oldest source seems to be long-deleted posts from this blog, which were re-posts.
xi. this is the only source i can find but i don't think it leads to the artist ): please hmu if you have any leads about all of these.
part of the mine and the bestie’s delusional headcanon that near and mello (& matt) did have somewhat of a mentor/mentee relationship with L (fuck them other kids….) whom although genuinely fond of them was a willing participant in the amoral watari industrial complex (did he care to be succeeded? did he find it amusing or an interesting long term project? were the tests and mindfuckery and hot/cold unpredictable behavior and purposeful sowing of a rivalry between them the only model of family and mentorship he knew and was capable of? did he ever really love them? will they ever know? etc etc etc.)
i’m handwaving away the “we only talked to L once” story as skillfully edited by near because 1. he loves to lie and 2. his complicated relationship with L and subsequent grief AND resentment is still wrapped in seventeen thousand layers of emotional repression and who wants to get into that. 3. also makes mello’s comments in LABB about not caring if near is hurt that he knows more about L than near does way funnier. sibling behavior
anyway the both of them have a brotherfatherhero complex the size of TEXAS but thankfully they can sublimate that in the bedroom through creative kinky means. i know the usual "don't ship them!" rethoric is that they're foster brothers but unfortunately that just makes them a billion times more compelling. to me
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grandmother-goblin · 15 days
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Dialogue Punctuation Cheat Sheet
This is just a friendly little guide on how to use punctuation in dialogue since (at least for me) this isn’t something that I was taught in school and had to learn on my own. That being said, I am not an expert! I don’t have an English degree or anything like that! I’m just an avid reader and writer and wanted to share what I have learned in a concise format.
A lot of this information is from “How to Write Dazzling Dialogue: The Fastest Way to Improve Any Manuscript” by James Scott Bell, “The Best Punctuation Book, Period” by June Casagrande, and “The Blue Book of Grammar and Punctuation” by Jane Straus, Lester Kaufman, and Tom Stern. If you’re able to get these books, I highly recommend them!
(Also, yes I used Disney quotes for most of my examples lol)
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Rule 1: Dialogue punctuation includes the following:
Period
Comma
Question mark
Exclamation point
Em-dash
Ellipsis
All dialogue will include some sort of punctuation before the closing quotation. 
---
Rule 2: Punctuation goes inside the quotes.
Correct
“Do you want to build a snowman?” Anna asked.
Correct
“You can’t marry a man you just met,” Elsa said.
Incorrect
“Do you want to build a snowman”? Anna asked.
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Rule 3: Don’t capitalize a pronoun used for dialogue attribution.
Correct
“I was hiding under your porch because I love you,” he said.
Incorrect
“I was hiding under your porch because I love you,” He said.
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Rule 4: Capitalize for action beats.
Correct
“A llama? He’s supposed to be dead!” She slammed her fist on the table.
Incorrect 
“A llama? He’s supposed to be dead!” she slammed her fist on the table.
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Rule 5: Use a comma when introducing a quotation, such as when dialogue attribution comes at the beginning. The first word of the dialogue is capitalized.
Correct
Scar leaned forward and said, “Run away, Simba.”
Incorrect
Scar leaned forward and said. “Run away, Simba.”
Incorrect
Scar leaned forward and said, “run away, Simba.”
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Rule 6: Use single quotation marks for quotations within quotations. Punctuation goes inside both quotations (I’ve heard this can vary depending on country).
Correct
“My father said, ‘Everything the light touches is our kingdom.’”
Incorrect 
“My father said, ‘Everything the light touches is our kingdom’.”
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Rule 7: If there are two or more sentences, the speaker attribution should be put before or after the first complete phrase.
Correct
Grandmother said, “Great. She brings home a sword. If you ask me, she should’ve brought home a man.”
Correct
“Great,” Grandmother said. “She brings home a sword. If you ask me, she should’ve brought home a man.”
Incorrect
“Great. She brings home a sword. If you ask me, she should’ve brought home a man,” Grandmother said.
(Note: This is a rule I break all the time, but I thought I would include it in this list anyway! Usually when the first sentence or two are very, very, short and go together, but they still need that “breath” of a dialogue tag in between. But it’s a good thing to be aware of!) 
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Rule 8: Use commas to interrupt a complete sentence with a dialogue attribution. Don’t capitalize the next word after the comma. 
Correct
“Aren’t you,” Hercules said, “a damsel in distress?”
Incorrect
“Aren’t you,” Hercules said, “A damsel in distress?”
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Rule 9: Use ellipses to illustrate a character trailing off, showing hesitation, or a pause.
“Aren’t you… a damsel in distress?”
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Rule 10: Em-dashes can be used for interruptions, indicating simultaneous actions that do not cause an interruption, or a change in thought/tone. Don’t use dialogue attribution after an em-dash.
Another Person Interrupts
Correct
“He would never do anything to hurt me. He—”
Hades threw up his hands. “He’s a guy!”
Correct
Meg said, “He would never do anything to hurt me. He—”
Hades threw up his hands. “He’s a guy!”
Incorrect
“He would never do anything to hurt me. He—” Meg said.
Hades threw up his hands. “He’s a guy!”
Self Interruption
“I—” Hercules reached into his pocket and pulled out a small doll. “I’m an action figure!"
Simultaneous Action
“I am surrounded” — Scar dragged his paw over his face — “by idiots.” 
Change In Thought/Tone
“It’s not that you’re awkward. I’m awkward. You’re gorgeous — wait, what?”
---
Other Notes (these might just be my personal preferences, feel free to ignore)
Don’t use semi-colons in dialogue. Use a period instead.
Use exclamation points sparingly. Extremely sparingly. Maybe once per 10k words or even less.
After using an ellipsis, saying “he/she trailed off” is redundant. Just skip to the next action. The ellipsis already implies someone trailed off.
New speaker (or character action that serves as a response) = New paragraph.
“Said” should be your most commonly used dialogue tag. Any dialogue tag other than “said” or “asked” will stick out to the reader, and should be used sparingly.
If there is anything I missed, got wrong, or should add, PLEASE KINDLY LET ME KNOW! Again, I don’t have an English degree, I’m not a professional, and I’m actually a bit of a pea-brain, but these are the general rules that I know of and follow in my writing.
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genisflyingkites · 6 months
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one sided heartbreak
my art based off flowers grow out of my grave//On This the 100th Anniversary of the Sinking of the Titanic, We Reconsider the Buoyancy of the Human Heart by Laura Lamb Brown-Lavoie//I Know its Over the Smiths//Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe//Cold Solace by Anna Belle Kaufman// Louis Undercover
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redpasserines · 6 months
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Damian, Jon, and losing each other.
Us Against You, Fredrik Backman / @/bakwaaas / Damian and Jon / Time Adventure, Adventure Time / Concerning The Book That Is The Body Of The Beloved, Gregory Orr / Damian / Cold Solace, Anna Belle Kaufman / Jon / Crush, Richard Siken / Disco Elysium, Robert Kurvitz and Aleksander Rostov / Funeral / Orestes, Euripides / Jeane, The Smiths / Thanksgiving 2006, Ocean Vuong / Damian and Jon / War of the Foxes, Richard Siken / Damian and Jon
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madasrabbits · 1 year
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on the eternal summer
lucy dacus / anna bell kaufman / taylor swift / phoebe bridgers / pete wentz / hanif kureishi / richard siken / margarita karapanou / panic! at the disco / pete wentz / zoë lianne
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kimwifexler · 2 years
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SOMETIMES YOU GET SO CLOSE TO SOMEONE YOU END UP ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THEM.
— Frank Bidart (Elegy) / Richard Siken (An Interview with James Allen Hall) / Anna Belle Kaufman (Cold Solace) / Ada Limón (Accident Report in the Tall, Tall Weeds) 
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lock and key.
@mltdesigns // bastien grivet // elizabeth kostova // mikko harvey // dennis sibeijn // euripides (tr. william arrowsmith) // sonya palencia // traci brimhall // traci brimhall again // srabon arafat // anna belle kaufman
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elmasthings · 2 years
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Cold solace, Anna Belle Kaufman
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apoemaday · 3 years
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Cold Solace
by Anna Belle Kaufman
When my mother died, one of her honey cakes remained in the freezer. I couldn’t bear to see it vanish, so it waited, pardoned, in its ice cave behind the metal trays for two more years.
On my forty-first birthday I chipped it out, a rectangular resurrection, hefted the dead weight in my palm.
Before it thawed, I sawed, with serrated knife, the thinnest of slices— Jewish Eucharist.
The amber squares with their translucent panes of walnuts tasted—even toasted—of freezer, of frost, a raisined delicacy delivered up from a deli in the underworld.
I yearned to recall life, not death— the still body in her pink nightgown on the bed, how I lay in the shallow cradle of the scattered sheets after they took it away, inhaling her scent one last time.
I close my eyes, savor a wafer of sacred cake on my tongue and try to taste my mother, to discern the message she baked in these loaves when she was too ill to eat them:
I love you. It will end. Leave something of sweetness and substance in the mouth of the world.
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Cold Solace, Anna Belle Kaufman//"Flood", Wideawake Field: Poems, Eliza Griswold//House of the Dragon (2022-)
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allsadnshit · 3 years
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asyoulikeitnow · 4 years
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Cold Solace
When my mother died, one of her honey cakes remained in the freezer. I couldn’t bear to see it vanish, so it waited, pardoned, in its ice cave behind the metal trays for two more years. 
On my forty-first birthday I chipped it out, a rectangular resurrection, hefted the dead weight in my palm.
Before it thawed, I sawed, with serrated knife, the thinnest of slices — Jewish Eucharist. 
The amber squares with their translucent panes of walnuts tasted — even toasted — of freezer, of frost, a raisined delicacy delivered up from a deli in the underworld. 
I yearned to recall life, not death — the still body in her pink nightgown on the bed, how I lay in the shallow cradle of the scattered sheets after they took it away, inhaling her scent one last time. 
I close my eyes, savor a wafer of sacred cake on my tongue and try to taste my mother, to discern the message she baked in these loaves when she was too ill to eat them: 
I love you. It will end. Leave something of sweetness and substance in the mouth of the world.
--Anna Belle Kaufman
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