i'm literally constantly thinking about sam reid's "when does he change? how does he change? how does his character develop? progressively, as the episodes were coming in, i was realizing that lestat wasn't changing at all. he keeps going back to his same patterns" comment btw. because it's true. a cornerstone to lestat's character this season is that he is utterly, painfully static. which is fascinating, because that ironically makes him one of the most stable, reliable characters in the show, in spite of outwardly acting as one of the most impulsive, volatile ones. it's also the cornerstone to what makes him such a tragic character.

because lestat is aware, to a certain extent, that there's something about himself that leads to him being abandoned. he's alluring enough to captivate, sure, but fundamentally deficit in some undefinable area that will grant him genuine, committed love. he has a way about him, but he's a lot. he's not perfect. and his own imperfections terrify him, because whatever it is, he's sure that it's at the core of himself, that it's something he can't change. and so he chases after love by throwing the worst of himself at it - because if he can find someone who sees his ugliness and loves him anyway, he'll finally have a love that he can keep. and once he finds that love, he devotes himself to it. it can not disappear again, it can't slip through his fingers. it's his, and he won't allow it to be taken from him.

and it works - for a time. preternaturally charming, occasionally thoughtful, he is so incredibly easy to fall in love with. and then something changes. and it has to be an outside force, because he hasn't done anything. he's stayed exactly the same, he's been that same person who louis fell in love with, he's committed to this love with all of himself. he is seen and he is loved and he is wanted, and he won't let anyone or anything take this acceptance away from him. so he clings, and he lashes out.

and it all, ultimately, leads back to abandonment. he's so busy keeping louis in his life, he's so busy making sure nothing changes, that he can never allow himself to grow. because change is rejection. change is the acknowledgement that he'll never be enough, that there really is some part of himself so unacceptable, he'll never be able to be loved in his entirety. and it's not until those last moments of the show, when he finally acknowledges claudia as a person unto herself, with a will and autonomy of her own - when he sees louis agonizing over what has to be done, that he begins to understand his own role in their lives. there's a sort of acceptance that he's pushed them too far, that maybe it's not outside forces, or their own inability to accept him, that's at fault for where they've ended up. that maybe he has some responsibility in how all of this played out. it's the first time in the entire show where we really see that lestat could potentially accept that he's not the victim of things beyond his control forever barring him from love, but that he has some responsibility in how others see him. which could, eventually, lead to change.