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thecarnivorousmuffinmeta · 3 months

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Muffin! It's ASP Inc, the conglomerate made up of the companies formerly known as Apple, Sony, and Pepsi-Co. Based on your credentials with prior projects, you've been conscripted again for another big budget Twilight media project! Probably the CEO is on drugs, but congrats on your $500m dollar budget.

Your task is to design a big-budget Twilight video game. "But I don't really play that many video games," you maybe say? Idk, the CEO doesn't seem to care and is maybe using this project for tax evasion, so your instructions are "Just make us a Twilight game with gameplay stolen from a popular thing like a Minecraft, Fortnight, Among Us, whatever the kids nowadays are playing. Maybe a Mario? Are Marios still a thing?? I played Oregon Trail on my mac once. Stick some story in it. Give it the Muffin treatment, kids like Muffins!"

Your project brief must include:

1) What non-story-based gameplay mechanic you're stealing ("It's like a Mario!") 2) What story set in the Twilight Universe (tm) you've decided is most game-able. 3) Where you're spending the big bucks.

Thank you and good luck! (I hope this is fun and not, you know, annoying)

That would be a very silly thing for them to do.

Caveat

Twilight already is a video game: it's a visual novel. You are Bella Swan, first person point of view, checking out hottie mchottie across the hall. You don't know it, but the wrong action you take, even if it's arriving in the parking lot late: you die.

It's up to you to find Bella's golden path to survival which is in fact the Twilight novels we know and love.

Ordinarily, I'm a big skeptic of medium jumps without much thought, especially to and from video games as they usually don't transition well. However, in this case, we're already there.

You don't even have to change that much of the narrative structure since it's all in first person and we have the visuals as we know exactly what everyone looks like down to what exact shade of red their hair is.

There's not much for me to do.

But That Will Never Fly/Isn't What You Asked For

It sounds like this merger corporation doesn't really understand Twilight or video games which is not surprising. So, I have to make a real person video game which is just like that thing the kiddos are playing.

And since I'm going to hell anyway: I'm making a Twilight game that's RDR/GTA styled and we're going wild.

You're Bella Swan going to high school but you can wander around the town of Forks/the world at large and do whatever the fuck you want. This often gets you killed horribly. You go to Mexico: you're eaten by vampires. You go to Alaska: you get fucked by vampires and have a wild time in their sauna. You go to Egypt: some guy named Amun locks you in a tomb where you hang out with Benjamin, Tia, and Amun's angry wife. You can take missions for the Volturi, which they never asked you to do, and every time you collect a bounty a Volturi member will give you a weird look and ask "what the fuck is wrong with you/why are you here?" but you'll earn in game rewards as they publicly shame you.

You can also get into affairs with your human friends and ruin Jessica's love life, go to Prom with five people, and so on and so forth.

You can also get involved in the La Push community where they stare at you for being this person who clearly doesn't belong and try to seduce Leah into a lesbian love affair with you. (This is a very difficult quest, Leah's not impressed and very confused and going through it with Sam right now). You get to hear all of people's drama that's going on in the side lines.

The actual plot is dating Edward, and somehow, he doesn't notice all your wild adventures because he can't read your mind and while he's been stalking you every time you leave the state he loses your scent.

Your missions are surprisingly difficult as you have to avoid death by Edward by saying the right things and avoid death by everything else in the universe by navigating Port Angeles correctly (shockingly hard as the rapists somehow corner you at every turn). You also get missions during the Hallucination Edward arc as you have to do increasingly difficult and dangerous things to get Hallucination Edward to appear at which point your player character gets sweet sweet endorphins.

In the online player mode, where you've probably become a vampire, you can engage in vampire warfare where the losing condition is you killed too many humans so the Volturi come to kill all of you.

And yes, of course, there is an honor system but you blow it yourself as Bella's honor plummets during New Moon when she has to endanger herself and others to see Edward.

The money's going into a) graphics b) the sheer open worldness allowed in the number of quests, the random events, and all that good points.

Conclusion

I imagine they ask me how I will market this game to Twilight's audience, who are presumably the only ones who will play this game, and I claim, "Young women love grand theft auto!"

#twilight #twilight meta #twilight headcanon #twilight renaissance #meta #headcanon #opinion

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space-creater · 2 years

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Best Interior Designing Company in Patna - Space Creater

Space Creater is Best Interior Designing Company in Patna. Some Interior related points are:

Floor Plans & Elevations This is where you gather all your information about the project. You should have a clear understanding of what the client wants and how they want it done before ever getting started. If you don't know exactly what they want yet, then it's probably best to just start off with your initial plan. I recommend doing a floor plan first, followed by an elevation plan. These plans help you get a good idea of what size rooms you'll need, the layout you'll need, and how big everything else will be. Take measurements from your drawings and make sure you're using actual measurements for everything (in case they change their mind). In my opinion, you should always stick to the larger dimensions of room sizes, especially if they're paying you money. Make sure you leave enough space between doors and windows. Doors should never be less than 6 inches away from any window, and windows should never be closer than 2 feet away from any door. There should be minimum 10 feet between each interior wall and exterior wall. You don't want any potential moisture to seep behind your walls. You also want to keep at least 4 square feet of open space per person in your house.

Interior Paint Colors I've noticed many people choose to paint their houses white. White is great for a fresh clean look, but it can sometimes feel cold and stark. There are so many interesting colors out there, including warm tones and cool tones. Choosing the right color can add some personality and character to your home. Darker colors will tend to provide warmth and offer a sense of coziness. Light colors tend to create a feeling of airiness and openness. To get the perfect combination of these two different concepts, try picking a neutral color. Neutral colors are those that do not stand out in terms of either warm or cool. Choose something that is a little bit of both and is still pleasant to the eye. A nice example would be choosing a soft gray or taupe. Be careful though! Too much of this type of color can be overwhelming and make a room seem boring. Try mixing a few shades of gray together for a unique style.

Wallpaper Patterns Wallpaper patterns are fun and exciting additions to your home. You can use them to give a simple and clean look to your walls, or if you're creative, you can transform them into unique designs. When selecting a pattern, think about what you want to accomplish. Is it a casual, modern look? Or perhaps you want a traditional farmhouse feel? It's easy to find free wallpaper patterns online that you can download to print out yourself.

Lighting Lighting is probably the most overlooked aspect of designing an interior space. It takes lighting to really bring a space together. Once again, play around with different colors and styles until you find the right fit. Remember, the goal is to make the room bright without making it glaringly bright. You can achieve this easily by adding dimmer switches to your bulbs. Dimming lights gives the illusion of being brighter while actually providing less light. Just make sure to avoid going too dark.

Space Creater (Best Interior Designing Company in Patna) website address is https://spacecreater.com

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jacobj865200017-blog · 5 years

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Home Organization Hacks You'll Probably End Up Regretting

We live in the age of the “hack”: life hacks that solve every small, mundane inconvenience you could ever come across, shopping hacks to save money, sleep hacks, food hacks (also known as “recipes”), even health hacks.

The problem is, a lot of the tips that parade as little-known tricks that will make your life infinitely better aren't really hacks. In fact, they often end up being more trouble than they're worth, especially if they involve a high-effort project for a low-impact problem.

Home organization is a popular topic for the people who create these hacks, and you may be wondering if the ones you've seen are worth your time.

As someone who believes that home organization means that every object should have a place, even if that place is at the bottom of the junk drawer or cluttering the top of your dresser, I may not be the best person to tell other people that their organization tips are bad. However, what I lack in organizational skills, I make up for in being able to spot a bad life hack from a mile away. As a bona fide lazy person, I love things that make my life easier, so I'm pretty good at knowing what makes a good hack and what's a waste of time.

So, which of these hacks are more DI-why than DIY?

Chalkboard Wall

Every few years, I get the urge to paint a wall of my bedroom with chalkboard paint. This always spawns from fantasies of me drawing beautiful, colorful murals in chalk and writing motivational sayings in attractive script, all at the whim of my mood that day.

But because I know myself, I refrain. And you should, too. Here's why.

Sure, all those pictures of successful chalkboard walls you've seen paint a picture of a beautifully organized life where your family always knows the weekly dinner menu because you've drawn pictures of each meticulously planned meal on the kitchen wall and nobody wonders whose turn it is to walk the dog because your chore chart spells it out in big, chalky lettering.

However, getting organized should make your life simpler, not add to your list of things to do. Because this hack hinges on you carving out time each week to create a new masterpiece, your chalkboard wall will likely fall into dusty disuse in a week or two. You just won't want to keep up with it. And if there's one thing that makes you look disorganized, it's a faded, several-months-old chore calendar displayed for all to see.

What to Do Instead

Use a pen and a notepad to write out your plans for the week or keep track of chores. If your family is asking for a week's notice when it comes to dinner plans, start a group text chat or remind them to be thankful that they have someone who provides meals for them and let dinner remain a mystery until it is served.

Reusable Containers for Things That Came in a Container

The internet would have you believe that adorably labeled, hipster-style glass containers are a great spot for you to keep your dry goods, and maybe they are, in the world of lifestyle blogs and certain image-sharing sites, where everything looks good, but nothing is practical. However, the time you spend cleaning up the flour you tried pouring into a chalk-labelled mason jar will make you rue the day you decided it would be cuter to fill your cabinets with these monstrosities rather than keep your food items in the containers they were sold in.

While this hack certainly gives your cabinets a uniform look and can help you keep track of your pantry's inventory, it's not necessarily a more organized route, especially since the bigger containers can be kind of unwieldy if you need to use them frequently. Constantly having to wedge them in and out of your pantry is going to get really old, really fast.

What to Do Instead

If you dream of having super-organized shelves or just have a problem with buying items you already have hidden in the back of your cabinet, a better option is to corral these items together using shelf organizers or baskets, so you can group like-items together and make sure that everything has a place and is visible.

Cookie Jar Bathroom Storage

Organization hackers love to take random objects and repurpose them as storage. Apparently, the latest hack is to use cookie or candy jars to store nail polish, lip gloss and other beauty items. While it might look adorable – and invite a fun comparison between picking out a makeup shade and choosing a treat in a candy shop – it's not super-helpful if the color you want is at the bottom of the jar. It also means that if you ever want to take stock of the colors you own before making a decision, you'll likely have to remove them all from the jar first, which is incredibly inconvenient.

What to Do Instead

If you must keep confectionery containers in your bathroom, stock them with something you won't need to dig through, like cotton balls.

Wall Displays of Clutter

Whether it be with a magnetic makeup board, your spice collection mounted to the side of your fridge, a pegboard in your kitchen for hanging utensils or jewelry pinned to a corkboard, more and more people are utilizing the vertical space in their homes to store and display their stuff.

While it may be clever, it's not necessarily good for organization. Flipping a mess vertically and hanging it on a wall doesn't change the fact that you've still got clutter scattered about. If I keep all my kitchen utensils splayed out on the counter, it's considered messy. But if I stick them up on the wall in the same formation, suddenly I'm an organizational genius?

If it makes your life easier to have your most-used items within reach, maybe this hack will work for you, but it's a hack of convenience, not organization, so if you want a way to make your home look more orderly, this ain't it. In general, making your home look organized involves putting things away, not leaving them out.

What to Do Instead

Walls often have a lot of untapped potential for storage space. However, the key is to make it look neat and minimize visual clutter. This means hanging up something that actually belongs on the wall, like a shelf, and displaying a few choice items on it, rather than sticking each individual makeup palette or rubber spatula up for everyone to see.

Putting Lots of Effort into Organizing Kids' Stuff

The kids will appreciate all your hard work with pom-poms and the hot-glue gun for approximately zero seconds before destroying it in almost the same amount of time.

There are countless mommy-bloggers with abundant ideas for fun, cutesy ways to keep their kiddos' living spaces nice and organized. The results are definitely worthy of a lifestyle-magazine spread. But are they really worth all that effort when the tots will be just as happy with a few plain, cheapo storage bins that don't require a complex organization system likely to be undone the first time they put their toys away?

If you've ever interacted with children, you know that they don't tend to be super into organization. Which is why these types of hacks are especially baffling, because they don't seem to benefit anyone. It's nice for the kids' space to be tidy, but many of these tips seem to be more about making their room photoshoot-ready – one suggests sorting Legos by color into separate bins!

What to Do Instead

Kids don't care if the container that holds their toys is nicely decorated or cutely labelled. Kids are better than we are in that way – they care about what's on the inside. Save yourself an afternoon of crafting and buy a big canvas bin for all their favorite stuffed animals. As they get older, let them take the lead on organizing their stuff, but even when they're young, don't feel the need to micromanage all of their belongings. Let them sort their own Legos. It builds character.

Takeaway

There are a lot of organizational tips and tricks out there, and while some of them are more “hacky” than “hack,” if they end up working for you, hey, don't let this article stop you. However, after poring over many of the hacks the internet has to offer, I have two thoughts for those who feel the need to organize their homes into oblivion:

Your home is never going to look like a magazine cover or the beautiful pictures you have on your online pinboard because your home, unlike the ones in those pictures, is lived in. Relax with this knowledge and aim for manageable imperfection.

Those beautiful magazine homes are overrated, anyway. Ultimately, organization should be about making your home easier and more soothing to live in. You don't need a bunch of clever hacks. Just put your stuff away and get rid of clutter. Done.

Do you have any hacks that ended up not being so helpful? Share your story in the comments!

The post Home Organization Hacks You'll Probably End Up Regretting appeared first on ZING Blog by Quicken Loans.

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