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oreoambitions · 5 years

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Scout’s Honor

You can thank @ripmecuzmemes for the most innocent part of this fic, and for encouraging me to write this instead of sleeping or working on Good Try. This is hands down the most inappropriate thing I’ve ever written.

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"So," Nia says, her mouth twisting into a sly smile, "When did you first figure out that you were gay?"

Lena isn't sure how exactly Nia convinced the group that it was a good idea to play Truth or Dare at game night. She arrived late, delayed by the inevitable last minute crisis at the office, and missed all of the prerequisite discussion. Discussion which she assumes must have included a stern reminder that no one may request a truth or a dare which might expose anyone else's superhero identity in front of Lena. As if she doesn't already know the identities of everyone in the room. Please.

But it's been a relatively tame evening, and Lena has successfully restrained herself from asking the kind of question she's sure everyone else agreed not to ask before she even walked in the door. She's two and a half glasses deep into an excellent selection of wine, and she's only had to answer one uncomfortably sexual question about her previous relationship with James, and now she's curled up on the couch taking in the warmth and the smell of good food and the sound of familiar voices without really following the conversation. At least she was, until Nia decided to ask Kara about her sexuality.

Kara throws her hands up in exasperation. "I'm not gay, you guys!" She looks at Alex for support, but Alex is looking determinedly anywhere else. James is smirking into his wine glass.

Nia throws a pillow. "Hey! The rules of the game are clear! You're not allowed to lie!"

"It's true though! Scout's honor."

James raises a hand. "I'm pretty sure you can't say that unless you're an actual boy scout."

"Okay, but I never got the chance to be a boy scout because... because I'm not a boy..."

Alex shoots Kara a warning glance, and Lena wonders for the hundredth time how subtle these people really think they're being. Privately this kind of thing makes her blood boil. These are the people she's chosen for her family. They're the best people she's ever known. They still don't trust her with their secrets after all this time, and they won't even do her the courtesy of making a passable effort to keep those secrets properly hidden. But she loves them, and so she sits here in their distrust and tries to be patient.

"You should have been a boy scout though," Nia says, her expression far away. "All that stuff about honor and honesty and helping others is right up your alley."

Lena almost snorts into her wine. She covers it by taking another sip.

"You'd have been really cute in that uniform, too," Alex adds.

Kara rolls her eyes and settles back into her chair. "Sure."

"I don't know," Lena says, and then suddenly everyone is looking at her, and she's realizing that she's spoken out loud, and maybe this third glass of wine wasn't a good idea, but she finishes her thought anyway. "I think that uniform would still look pretty good on you, if you wanted to give it a go."

Lena can picture it in vivid detail. The boy scout shirt open one button too many, the loose red bandanna around Kara's neck, the tight green pants, a pair of scuffed up hiking boots, and a smile that suggests a recreational activity Lena is 100% sure Boy Scouts of America would not approve of. It's perfect. And if Kara's reddening cheeks are any indication, she can picture it too.

Kara clears her throat. "So uh, Lena. Truth or dare?"

"Oh, truth. I don't want to have to get off this couch."

Kara thinks about it. She scrunches up her nose and fixes Lena with such an intense stare that for a moment Lena is genuinely concerned about what might come out of her mouth. And then she asks, "What kind of dumpling do you like best?" and the room fills with laughter.

Lena takes another sip of wine while she pretends to consider the question, even though she already knows perfectly well what the answer is. She does it for the anticipation on Kara's face and for the giggle that Nia is trying to hold in, for James's knowing smile and for Brainy's expression of intense focus.

"Pot stickers," Lena finally answers.

Kara's smile is so bright that for a moment Lena thinks it might rival the sun. She could go so far as to believe that all of National City was lit up for an instant by the joy on Kara's face.

"Pot stickers are my favorite too!"

Which of course Lena already knows. And Kara knows that Lena knows. And James's knowing smile has suddenly deepened, because James knows that Lena's favorite dumpling is actually Polish pierogi, or used to be before she discovered Kara's reaction to pot stickers and decided there was nothing better. Lena suspects she's said too much this evening, given a little too much of herself away, and there will be teasing from James later. It doesn't matter; that smile was worth it.

"Alex," Lena says with a smirk. "Truth or dare?"

"Dare."

"Recite your favorite Shakespearean sonnet in your very best Donald Duck voice," Lena commands with a sideways glance at Kara, who is already fighting to keep a straight face.

"Hold on," Alex says, reaching for her phone. "I'm going to need Google for this."

Game night ends early, not so much by design as by happenstance, each member of the group trickling out for one reason or another until it's just Alex, Lena, and Kara lounging in the living room. Lena is just beginning to wonder whether she should find an excuse to leave so that Alex and Kara can have some sister time when Alex looks at her watch and stands up.

"Well," she says, "I have a meeting in the morning. I hate to leave you with the mess..."

Lena shakes her head. "I'll stay and help Kara clean up. You get home safe."

Kara begins to protest almost immediately. "Oh, Lena you don't have to-"

But Alex cuts her off. "It'll be good for you two to talk," Alex says pointedly. She pulls Kara in for an embrace. "I'll see you tomorrow."

Lena's stomach does an uncomfortable flip, and she questions for a moment whether Alex, like James, has picked up on something more than Lena would have liked. It's not that it's strictly speaking a secret that she has feelings for Kara. It's just that Kara has given every indication that she'd rather not return those feelings, regardless of anyone's suspicions about her sexuality or her interest in Lena specifically. It makes Lena feel almost guilty that she can't put her attraction to Kara away in a box the way Kara seems to be able to lock things away that aren't convenient for her.

When Alex is gone, Lena leans casually against the kitchen counter, holding her fourth cup of wine. It's probably a good thing that she's here to help Kara clean up, because even with super powers, this is the kind of mess that is really best tackled as a team. Nia and Kara ostensibly made cookies, but Lena has it on good authority that most of the dough was eaten before it ever made it to the oven, and a good portion of what remained seems to have been plastered on any and every available surface. It's like a cookie tornado passed through Kara's kitchen.

"How did you get flour on the ceiling?" Lena murmurs to herself with a bemused expression.

Kara trots into the kitchen with an armful of plates to deposit into the sink and makes herself busy. Lena indulges herself for a moment just watching her work, watching her serious expression, her deft movements, the ease with which she carries herself when it's just the two of them. And then Lena is rolling up her sleeves and reaching around Kara for the spare sponge.

"Truth or dare," Kara says after a few minutes of comfortable silence.

"Excuse me?" Lena replies, eyes on a spot of what she thinks might be egg stuck to the side of the fridge.

"You heard me: truth or dare?"

Lena pauses and looks back at Kara, but Kara, busy with the dishes, is not looking at her. Maybe it's the wine talking, but maybe there's something dangerous about continuing this game alone. It's definitely the wine talking when Lena decides to go along with it.

"Truth. Maybe we should just play truths until we're done taking care of this mess."

"That's fair."

Kara is quiet for so long that Lena thinks maybe she's decided to call off the game altogether. Part of her is relieved, but the better part of her is a little disappointed. Maybe Kara wanted her to ask for a dare. She'd pay good money to know what that dare was going to be.

But eventually Kara asks the question. "If you could tell me anything with no consequences, what would it be?"

Lena hesitates. I love you. But those words do come with consequences, and she's not about to utter them over her fourth glass of wine, elbow deep in flour and dish soap, halfway up on Kara's kitchen counter. So she sidesteps it. "I can tell you anything with no consequences, Kara. You're my best friend."

"But you don't. Tell me everything, I mean."

And now Kara is looking at Lena, the water still running in the sink, a rag in one hand, the dishes for the moment forgotten. She wears such a searching expression that Lena holds her breath under the scrutiny. Then she feels rage prickle under her skin, and she turns away.

"That's pretty rich coming from you," she comments. Because her feelings for Kara aren't a secret even if she's never named them out loud. Of course they aren't. She'd never lie about something like that, not outright. Kara can't say the same about the secrets she's keeping from Lena. She can't pretend that she hasn't blatantly, directly lied about her identity as Supergirl to her own advantage. She can't pretend that she hasn't used Supergirl to avoid admitting that sometimes she doesn't trust Lena, that sometimes she doesn't know how to approach her.

Kara turns the faucet off. Lena refuses to look at her, but she can feel the hair on the back of her neck stand up as Kara approaches behind her. For a long moment they stand there, Kara watching Lena, Lena unmoving with her back resolutely turned until Kara wraps her arms around Lena's waist and presses her forehead to the space between Lena's shoulders.

"Alex is right," she says softly. "It would be good for us to talk."

Lena thinks perhaps she has forgotten how to breathe. She reaches down with the hand not holding a sponge to rest her fingertips on Kara's arm. Kara answers without hesitation by weaving her fingers through Lena's and straightening up to pull her closer.

"So tell me," Kara prompts. "What is it you're not saying, Lena Luthor?"

I love you. "I know who you are," Lena whispers.

Kara hums, her nose pressed into Lena's hair. "I thought you might." And then, when Lena doesn't say anything, she adds, "I'm sorry."

It isn't enough. Two words should not be enough. There should be screaming. Lena should throw the wine glass maybe, break a plate, make a scene. But the longer Kara holds her the more tension she feels leaving her body and those two words are so unexpected that Lena almost forgets to be angry. Almost.

"Truth or dare, Kara," she prompts.

"I thought we agreed only truths tonight."

"Okay. Were you ever going to tell me?" Lena's voice cracks on the last word, and she is painfully aware that if they keep talking about this she is going to start crying. In front of Kara. Barefoot in Kara's kitchen, holding Kara's dirty sponge.

Kara sighs. "I don't know. Maybe.... I don't know."

And it's the truth but it isn't the answer Lena wants to hear. She starts to pull away, but Kara, fingers tightening, refuses to allow it.

"How long have you known?" Kara asks.

"I don't know," Lena mocks. She wonders if Kara can hear her heart rate rising. She wonders if Kara will assume it's anger or if she understands what she's doing to Lena, holding her close like this, breath tickling her ear.

Kara tsks. "You're not supposed to lie in truth or dare," she admonishes gently.

Lena lets out a single bitter laugh. "Because you're a paragon of honesty," she says with a roll of the eyes that Kara cannot see but which Lena is hoping comes through in her tone of voice. She feels Kara shift her weight, imagines her biting her bottom lip.

"I was telling the truth today," Kara offers hesitantly. And then, "Even when Nia asked me... that."

Lena doesn't want to talk about this. She gestures with the sponge, hoping that Kara will understand she'd like to get back to her task, but Kara takes it from her and tosses it onto the counter so that she can take that hand for herself too. And Lena tries not to think about how badly she wants this moment to last forever, how comfortable it is to have Kara pressed up against her, arms wrapped around her, fingers laced through Lena's, strong and warm and solid and real. I love you. But Kara has just reminded her that she's not gay for the second time this evening.

"I don't care about-" she starts. It's a lie. The first lie she's uttered all evening, in fact.

"Don't say that," Kara interrupts.

Lena's mouth closes with an audible click. She thinks she can feel Kara's breathing pick up a little.

"I told Nia the truth," Kara repeats. "I'm attracted to men. I loved Mon-El; that was real." And then, with a deep breath, "But I'm also attracted to... someone who is a woman..."

Lena's heart jumps into her throat. "So you're not straight."

"Well, no. But I'm not gay. Bi erasure is a serious issue, Lena. Nia of all people knows how important representation can be."

And then they're laughing together just a little, and Lena is relaxing more deeply into Kara's arms.

"So really you dodged the question," Lena points out. "Which is a kind of lying."

"It isn't lying! I just... didn't tell the whole story. Luthors haven't cornered the market on evasion. I'm just not ready for everyone to know."

Which Lena thinks is fair, because she hasn't told the whole world that she's bi either. It hasn't been necessary, since the two women she dated in college were easily written off as a phase, and she hasn't dared tell anyone anything about her feelings for Kara. Kara, who has let it slip that she's attracted to a woman.

"Who is she?" Lena whispers.

Kara stiffens. This time, she's the one who tries to pull away, and it's Lena's turn to tighten her grip. Not that Kara can't do as she pleases, but she heeds Lena's unspoken request and stays. They're silent for too long, the clock on the wall suddenly deafening as the seconds tick by, Lena's heart racing, Kara's breath a little too fast in her ear.

"It's you," Kara finally says. She doesn't move, but she lets go of Lena's hands and Lena understands it to mean that Kara will let her leave if she wants to. "It was always you."

The clock measures out the seconds while Lena tries to catch her breath. She tries, and she fails, and she considers blaming the wine. She notices when Kara puts a little space between their bodies as she reads her silence the wrong way. I love you. She turns halfway round in Kara's arms to press a too-quick kiss to the corner of her mouth and then she lingers there while Kara's eyes flicker back and forth between her own with that same searching expression she wore when she asked Lena what it was she wasn't saying.

Lena turns the rest of the way around and reaches one hand up to grip the collar of Kara's shirt. The other she slips around the back of Kara's neck, and then she waits, because she's afraid that somehow she's misread this whole thing. Kara's arm tightens around her waist.

"Lena," she murmurs, a warning note in her voice.

And then Lena can't wait any longer. This time she's kissing Kara full on the mouth, and half laughing at Kara's sharp surprised intake of breath, except suddenly Kara is kissing her back and there is nothing to laugh about. There's only the feeling of those lips on hers, too soft for words. Kara is exceptionally gentle, almost too careful as her hand trails up Lena's back and into her hair, as she obeys Lena's insistent tugging on her collar and closes what's left of the gap between them.

Lena is not an impatient women by any means, but this has been too long coming for Kara to be this damn gentle, and so she sweeps her tongue across Kara's lower lip, all but demanding entrance until it's granted. She can taste traces of the wine, sugar from the leftover cookie dough Kara has been scraping out of the bowl all evening, and something more subtle that Lena might have been able to define except that Kara deepens the kiss and all thoughts of anything but that tongue moving across hers are lost in an instant. She's not even quite sure which one of them moans. Kara pushes her back against the counter, her fingers pressing hard into Lena's hip, and catches Lena's bottom lip between her teeth just sharply enough to draw blood.

She scrambles back inhumanly fast. "Rao, I'm sorry, I-" She brings both hands up in front of her as if to ward Lena off.

"Kara it's okay-"

"-I lost control, I should never have-"

"Kara." Lena hooks her fingers through Kara's belt loop and tugs, but she doesn't budge. "Kara, it's okay. It's nothing."

Kara looks away with a hard swallow. "If I can't be with you without hurting you, then I shouldn't be with you at all."

Lena runs her tongue over the broken skin on her lip. It isn't bad, really. She's had worse. If she's being honest, she's imagined Kara doing worse in the privacy of her own home, and in explicit detail. "It's just a little blood. Come back to me." And then when Kara remains motionless, Lena adds, "Maybe I want you to hurt me a little."

Kara turns to study her. She takes a step forward, runs her thumb over Lena's lip, and her eyes darken as Lena takes it into her mouth.

"Are you sure?" Kara whispers. She moves closer still. "Because I can't promise you perfect control. But I want to give you what you want. Whatever it is you want." She pulls Lena's ear lobe gently between her teeth and Lena's hips buck involuntarily against her.

"Yes," Lena gasps. "Yes, I'm sure."

Kara lowers her head to run her tongue over Lena's neck, just below the jaw, and Lena hardly has time to wonder how she knew precisely where to go before Kara bites down. She's vaguely aware that Kara is going to leave a mark, that it's going to be inconvenient on Monday morning, but she doesn't care. Kara is sucking a second bruise onto her neck and Lena is tangling fingers in her hair and giving up on holding in the small sounds that Kara's ministrations are so expertly drawing from her throat. She feels a thigh slide up into her center and grinds down on it as Kara moves to leave a third mark.

Kara's fingers slip under the hem of Lena's shirt, and then she hesitates. Lena is ready to swear on the name of every God she can think of that if Kara pulls away again she is going to lose it, but she doesn't. She nudges Lena's nose with her own and asks again, "Are you sure?"

Lena nods. "I'm sure."

"Okay. And you promise you'll tell me if you want me to stop?"

"I promise." And with a smirk she adds, "Scout's honor."

Also on AO3 for convenience.

#supercorp #supergirl #kara danvers #lena luthor #just kiss already #another reveal fic #supercorp fic

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