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#and you can't finish it until you get back from that Important Urgent Thing
ggomos-maribat · 7 months
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4 | in which a boy becomes jealous of his niece
Part 4 of No Mr. Wayne You Can't Adopt Me! | Masterlist
When Bruce heard that Diana and Clark were both in the city for work, he decided to kill two birds with one stone and invite them for lunch and a meeting in his office. He even had Tim in attendance, so he could give his opinions for the League-related discussions. They were deep into intergalactic affairs when a knock rapped on the door.
"Mr. Wayne?" Marinette called out from outside.
Bruce wondered why she was knocking, since she knew he had guests over. Marinette never disturbed him if he had guests. Is there an emergency?
Tim was quick on his feet as he opened the door for her. Marinette's head peeked out, looking a little shy. "Sorry to interrupt, but I've got something to show you urgently."
Bruce gave an apologetic smile. "Can it wait until later—"
Tim cut in, "It's a casual meeting, B, let the girl in."
With Clark and Diana's gazes on him, he conceded and motioned for Tim to let his assistant in. The girl carried her tablet inside, setting it up on the table in front of them. "There was an intruder last night in your office. I managed to extract the audio feed and sync it up with the video footage."
The glint in his son's eye already gave Bruce a foreboding feeling. Tim gasped dramatically. "An intruder? How scary!"
"I'd like to show you so you can confirm his words." Marinette pursed her lips. "Batman visited last night."
"Batman?" Clark's gaze wandered off towards Bruce.
The assistant nodded solemnly and pressed a key to play the video. "He came in late at night to 'retrieve something' but I did suspect he was stealing."
Like the nosey coworkers they were, the two League members immediately slid towards either side of Bruce to get a glimpse of the screen. Bruce's encounter with the knife-wielding Marinette was caught clear as day on the camera—he started to feel heat rush to his cheeks.
Tim attempted (and failed) to mask his laughter with a cough while Diana didn't hold back at all, letting out a chuckle as they watched.
"I think that's enough of—" Bruce stretched his arm to pause the video but Clark moving to hold back his wrist was faster.
"No, it's important to see the whole thing, Bruce," his sly friend told him, "This is a security breach."
"He's right, Mr. Wayne." Marinette's eyebrows furrowed. "He slipped in so easily; our security system must be faulty if he was able to go inside without triggering alarms."
Bruce bit on his tongue and wished he could say something. But his assistant's blue eyes shone with so much innocent concern and worry that he couldn't stay firm. He leaned back and let the video finish, with amusement clear on Clark and Diana's faces and Tim wheezing behind him.
He cleared his throat. "Thank you for bringing this up, Marinette, but Batman is right. We had a prior agreement so he's allowed in the office."
"But why associate with Batman at all?" She tilted her head. "Is he one of your lovers?"
Bruce was pretty sure Tim just choked on air.
"We both save the city, in our own ways that is." Bruce internally cringed at his explanation. "I think we both have the same goals and I'm happy to help him if it means Gotham is safe."
"No offense, but he's a recluse. You can do better, Mr. Wayne."
Bruce glanced at his two fellow founding members. "I'm sure he's got some friends of his own."
"I don't know." Clark pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose. "I've talked to Superman a few times and according to him, the Bat is a weirdo."
Marinette's eyes widened. "Weird how? Oh, that reminds me . . ." She pulled out something from her pocket: the same Batarang Bruce had thrown at her. "He pinned my sleeve to the wall! It's going to take forever to mend."
Bruce looked away guiltily.
Clark shook his head in faux disappointment. "That's awful. Superman says he's always like that—cold like a stone wall, very grumpy, and protective over his secret identity."
"It seems that Batman was very much caught off by your presence, Marinette," Diana added.
Tim was already silent-laughing by Bruce's desk, knocking his fist on top of it while holding his middle.
"Sorry, Marinette, we have other things to discuss here." Bruce forced out a smile again. "I'll tell Batman not to come unannounced again. Thanks for telling me right away. If you'd like, I can pay for your blazer to get fixed."
Marinette pocketed the Batarang and picked up her tablet. "Sure, but to be honest, I'd rather have a personal apology."
"I agree, Bruce, he should show some remorse." Clark nonchalantly sipped from his drink.
"I'll—I'll make sure he does that."
***
Bruce was sitting in his office's lounge with stacks of binders and envelopes scattered all over the table. Sat across him was Marinette, who was helping him organize the upcoming hectic schedule for the company. He pointed to an empty spot on the paper calendar. "What if we put the grand opening on the sixth? That would give us enough time to prepare."
Marinette spoke slowly. "Why on the sixth?"
"It's free, isn't it?"
She decided to continue to stare at him wordlessly, waiting for something to strike him. He only stared back dumbfoundedly at first but after a few beats, Marinette saw the exact moment the realization dawned on him.
Cue the panicked Bruce Wayne.
Marinette went back to scribbling on her notebook. "How can you forget the birthday of your only grandchild, Mr. Wayne?"
"It slipped my mind." Bruce visibly gulped. "I haven't prepared a gift yet."
"It's a week away."
"Yes . . . yes I'm aware."
She gave her subtle but pointed look. She should've predicted this, in all honesty—Bruce seemed to be extremely swamped both inside and outside work the past few days. But she expected him to have the date marked on his personal calendar at least.
"If I start on the handmade gift tonight, there should be enough time for me to finish by the sixth," she told him.
He pursed his lips, "No, I can't possibly ask that from you. It wouldn't be a gift from me if it's you making it."
"Do you have other ideas then?"
Bruce came up with a blank. He shook his head, clearly in distress.
"Then allow me to make it, Mr. Wayne," she insisted as she clicked her pen. "If you're the one to pick the design I'm sure she will love it."
He breathed out, practically slumping on the sofa. "Thank you, Marinette, you're a lifesaver."
"That's not the magic word."
"I'll pay double your—no I'll pay triple your salary. That should cover the materials cost and work for it."
Marinette nodded in satisfaction. Triple was already a lot more than her usual commission prices. She looked over the scheduled events and tried to work out another suitable schedule. "I'll have the design options ready by tomorrow—I'm thinking of a thick cardigan—so please get her measurements from Mr. Pennyworth."
***
Marinette was running in heels. Sweat clung to the nape of her neck as she caught her breath in front of the manor gates. The rude taxi driver had dropped her off a good distance away from her destination, making her horribly late for the party when she had an important package to deliver.
She stared down at the gift bag with a neat little bow hanging from her wrist. Bruce had told her that he was going to be late to the birthday party and tasked her to get the gift there first . . . without much excuse for his tardiness. And when there was a flimsy excuse, it only meant that he was attending to something Batman-related.
After fixing her appearance and checking her reflection through her phone, she ventured into the back garden where the Wayne family had set up a modest party: a few family friends had been invited, standing around the long banquet table with finger foods and there were some picnic blankets laid around. The weather seemed to be in good favor just for Mar'i Grayson, who squealed and jumped into Marinette's arms the moment she saw her.
"Marinette!" The girl beamed. "You're here!"
Well . . . Marinette wasn't invited in the first place. She was there thanks to Bruce. Behind Mar'i, she saw Dick whispering to Kor'i with a frown, probably voicing out his disappointment that Bruce wasn't there yet.
"I wouldn't miss it for the world." She smiled back.
Mar'i looked around. "Where's grandpa?"
"Uhh, your grandpa's running a little late today but he had me deliver this!" Marinette held up the bag, drawing out a look of wonder from the child. "Happy birthday, Princess."
The girl was already bouncing on her heels. "What's in it? What's in it?"
"Why don't you open it to find out?" A new voice said.
Marinette hoped no one heard her sigh of relief. Bruce had just appeared, but his tousled hair and wrinkled clothes indicated that he dressed himself in a rush.
"Grandpaaaaa!" Mar'i ran to her grandfather and he easily lifted her up.
"Happy birthday, sweetheart. I'm sorry I'm late." Bruce tapped the tip of her nose.
The girl giggled. "It's okay, there's still cake for you!"
"Why don't you open up your gift?"
Marinette moved aside and watched with anticipation as Mar'i peeked into the bag. She couldn't help the smile tugging on her lips when she saw green eyes lighting up in delight. Mar'i held out the soft pink cardigan adorned with patterns of a figure resembling Silkie, along with a little crocheted bag in the shape of a star.
Even though Bruce nearly forgot the date, he picked out a fitting design.
"I love it!" Mar'i gasped, immediately slipping the cardigan on. "Thank you, grandpa!"
With her job done, Marinette retreated towards the refreshments table where, to her surprise, Damian offered her a glass of water. His gaze seemed to be trained on the gift, which Mar'i was proudly showing off to the other guests.
"Is that your handiwork?" He asked.
"Do you want one too?" Marinette teased after she downed the whole glass. "I'll make one for you on your birthday if Mr. Wayne forgets yours too." 
He snorted. "I didn't say that. And Father will not forget my birthday."
"You sure about that?"
"You will be reminding him either way anyway." Damian sipped on his own drink. "You didn't have to make the gift for the sake of covering up Father's mistake."
"He paid me well, so it's fine."
"Still, he should've been the one who made the effort."
"He's right, Marinette, you didn't have to." Dick came up to them, handing a slice of cake to Marinette. "Old man's tendency to forget isn't new."
Marinette gave a grateful smile as she took a bite of the pink-and-purple frosted cake. "It's alright really. I wouldn't have offered to help but I didn't want Mar'i to celebrate without a gift from Mr. Wayne."
"It must've been a lot of trouble." Dick briefly looked at the wrist brace around her hand.
"Ah, this isn't from making the cardigan. Don't worry," she lied.
"I heard he only asked for the cardigan," said Dick. "What about the bag?"
Marinette's gaze traveled towards Mar'i again. The girl was stuffing her new bag with candies from Roy as her mother fixed her hair. "Just an accessory to match the cardigan. Consider it a gift from me."
"Thank you, Marinette." Dick nodded, looking at his daughter with a soft expression. "And I'm sorry for all the trouble on behalf of Bruce."
When Dick left (presumably to pull Bruce to the side and talk to him), Marinette noticed the side-eyes Damian was giving her. She raised an eyebrow at him.
"You strained your hand making the cardigan didn't you?" he asked.
She put a finger up to her lips. "Let's keep that a secret between us." 
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I’ve been waiting for your requests to open and they finally are! Could I request a Melina x reader where they live together on her farm. They’re in a relationship but when Alexei comes back with Nat and Yelena, Melina goes back to him. Reader leaves them be but still helps in taking down the redroom but dies in the process and basically it’s just a lot of angst, regret on Melina’s part and a lot of grief. I really feel like crying today and I was inspired by the Wanda x reader with Vision but I really need a not happy ending. Thank you very much 🥰
I'm not ready to say goodbye
Warnings: Main character death, emotional dependence, depression, suicidal thoughts and therefore 18+ only, Love triangles, angst, Yelena is a great comedian
Word count: 3.4 K
Pairing: Melina Vostokoff x Fem!Reader
Prompt: Despite having a beautiful relationship, the arrival of Alexei makes Melina have mixed feelings about her past relationship.
Reader made a promise that she plans to keep, regardless if Melina stopped loving her.
Requests: OPEN
[Main masterlist] [Marvel masterlist]
IMPORTANT WARNING: If you or your partner have any of the attitudes that the reader takes,tt is important that you see a mental health specialist. Emotional dependency is NOT a game
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"It's strange, isn't it?"
"The fact that?"
"The fact that, we were what we were, and yet here we are… you and I, enjoying our lives, while you try to educate those disgusting pigs, and I, try to pass my knowledge of chemistry at the local university
Mel put her weight on her forearms, so she could get up a little and be able to stare at me, while I was still lying down and playing with her long locks.
"Hey, don't tell Alexei that he's disgusting, he'll be offended" I playfully hit her shoulder, causing the brunette to lie down again, while we both gave each other a smile "In spite of everything, I thank the Red Room for the simple fact of having met you” she gave me a sweet kiss on the cheek
"I think we agree on something, Кролик девочка, I appreciate that, thanks to that torture, I met my perfect doll" I licked her cheek
"You suck Y/N" she wiped her cheek with a quick movement
"You can't say anything, not when you're working with pigs!" 
“Even they are cleaner than you” 
“Ouch” 
“Honey, we better go to sleep, you have a long day ahead of you tomorrow” 
"I'll sleep, but on one condition" 
"Which?" 
"Give me a kiss" 
Melina quickly began to distribute small and loud kisses all over my face, until it culminated in a much longer and more sensual kiss on my lips. 
"These and those you want, my life" 
——————————————————————————— 
"Miss Y/L/N" the secretary of the university interrupted in my classroom, making us all turn to look at her
"Yes Rachel?"
“Your wife is looking for you in your office. She says it's urgent."
"Thank you very much for notifying me, Rachel" the blonde left the room, so I turned to look at the students "well, guys, the class will have to end a little earlier than expected, but remember that you already have a pending task"
The guys didn't even wait for me to finish speaking, when they quickly put their things away and left.
Without running, I quickly but discreetly walked towards my office, only to find a distraught Melina pacing my office.
"What happen dear?"
"Alexei escaped from prison and is with Yelena and Natasha"
"And how do you know that?"
“In New York there is a lot of talk about the retirement of the Avengers, while Dreykov informed me of the disappearance of Yelena, and the perfect escape of Alexei”
"And that should concern us, why…?"
“What if they try to find me? You and I would be discovered, or worse, the same room. Это может навредить нам…”
The brunette started to ramble, while having a small anxiety attack, so I carefully put my hands on her cheeks, to make her beautiful eyes look directly at me.
“First, I think it would be very unlikely that they would want to look for you, second, I think you are exaggerating, baby, I don't see such extraordinary reasons to put you in this state; And lastly, if any of your assumptions prove true, I will protect you.”
I felt how her body, despite not being completely relaxed, began to give in to my thumbs tenderly caressing her cheeks, while giving me a slightly crooked smile.
"Of course, you're right" she smiled at me adorably, and gave me a small kiss on my lips
"Of course, I'm always right"
——————————————————————————— 
No, I wasn't right this time.
A week ago, Alexei , Natasha and Yelena had come to our humble cabin, making Melina act completely strange. I understand, I was seeing her, 'daughters' and her… whatever Alexei was.
But even so, I found it strange that Melina along with Alexei seemed to want to ignore me, while Yelena and Natasha herself, were very nice to me, despite their circumstances for which they came here. In fact, even the girls themselves had noticed the almost uncanny closeness between their 'parents'.
So one day when Alexei and the girls were out, I set out to talk to Melina. While she was working on her tablet right in the dining room, with a loud noise I sat next to her, to notify her of my presence.
No, I wasn't right this time. 
A week ago, Alexei , Natasha and Yelena had come to our humble cabin, making Melina act completely strange. I understand, I was seeing his, 'daughters' and his... whatever Alexei was. 
But even so, I found it strange that Melina along with Alexei seemed to want to ignore me, while Yelena and Natasha herself, were very nice to me, despite their circumstances for which they came here. In fact, even the girls themselves had noticed the almost uncanny closeness between their 'parents'. 
So, one day both Alexei and the girls went out to talk to Melina. While she was working on her tablet right in the dining room, with a loud noise I sat down next to her, to let her know of my presence. 
"What the hell is wrong with you Melina?" 
The use of his last name let him know that he was serious. 
"With me?, nothing happens" his voice stuttered a little 
"Do you know that to be a spy you lie terribly?" She only looked at me out of the corner of her eye, making me notice her discomfort. 
“I think I still love Alexei” he whispered, so much so that I didn't understand him. 
"what?" 
"I think I'm still in love with Alexei" she whispered again
"Melina, stop fooling around"
“I am in love with Alexei”
The mere fact of hearing that phrase made my heart break, I felt how I was short of air, how an almost harmful heat settled on my neck, how my limbs trembled, and how my eyes began to fill with tears.
“Wh…what?
“I'm sorry, Y/N” she had also started to tear up “but, I can't compare how I feel about you and how I feel about him; he was very important…” I couldn't even hear her speech, my ears were completely covered, trying to analyze, when it was the exact moment Melina realized that Alexei still had her heart. Until she said, what she feared the most. "Sorry, Y/N, ours, it can't be"
"No Melina, please" now that my crying had become much louder, I tried to take her arm, but she moved it away with a slight movement
“I'm sorry, Y/N. I really didn't want things to end like this."
“No, Lina, please, don't leave me” I took her arm tightly, hugging her, while staining her shirt with tears “do you want me to change? I swear I can change; But please don't leave me. Melina, without you, I'm going to die. Please"
I was so involved in begging for some affection, that I didn't realize that they had returned, Alexei, knowing why I was crying, preferred to leave the scene, while Natasha looked disapprovingly at the brunette, Yelena just looked at me with pity
"Y/N, please" Melina also had tears on her cheeks, but carefully, she tried to erase them with her free hand "I just need you to understand me"
“How do you expect me to understand you?” Natasha scolded her
"This is none of your business" Melina countered.
"It is, when she's been nothing but enjoyable and nice to us, not to mention having to put up with your fucking shit for years."
"NATASHA!"
I stopped listening to their fight, my panic made my ears close, leaving me alone, along with my terrible thoughts
——————————————————————————— 
Natasha was able to find me a small place to live, near the center of St. Petersburg. Because even though the last thing I wanted was to be separated from Melina, seeing her interacting with Alexei made my heart break a little more. 
I hadn't left the apartment in days, my food was running low, I hadn't taken a shower in days, I barely had the strength to cook anything other than a sandwich, but who the fuck cares? The only person I cared about stopped caring, so who cares? 
Hopefully I had the willpower to take a little shower, but I always had the same problem, the mirror. 
The mirror and I had been bitter enemies for years, but when Melina was by my side, my reflection didn't bother me; if she told me I was beautiful, I looked beautiful, but now that she was gone, I only saw my worst flaws. 
My body was thin enough for people to think I was sick, not counting its multiple scars, abuse marks and deep torture, my dark circles only made evident my lack of sleep, my huge nose. 
Every day I looked in the mirror, it made me want to cry even more; Sure, how did I expect Melina to stay with me, if I'm the ugliest woman? 
Almost always, when I looked at a mirror, I tried to run as far away from it as possible, so this time I thought it would be a good idea to go to a place too far from me, in the center of the city. 
So, not caring about my wet hair, I just put on some jeans, a simple t-shirt, a sweatshirt, and some sneakers. I took the little keys, a little money, and I got out of those damn walls. 
Melina had always said that going to the city was a great danger, we were an easy target for the red room, so being here, without Melina's protection, while breaking her rules, made me feel strange, like a little girl who disobeyed her mother, and now she is lost, unable to return home. 
Despite that, as soon as I saw the faces of the people, their kindness, and their beautiful smiles, I began to walk a little more calmly; buying a little organic jam, and the occasional crossword booklet, which helped me calm down. 
Suddenly, I heard a big commotion, people looked up, pointing their finger to a specific place, while keeping their big mouth open; the dogs began to bark, the children hid in their mothers' petticoats, while the adults began to tense up. 
The noise of engines began to reach my ears, which made me look up, only to notice, at least 3 aircraft were above the sky of St. Petersburg. 3 airships that I could recognize as belonging to no one but Dreykov, to the red room. 
The beating of my heart began to resound in my ears, a tremendous desire to vomit settled in my throat, and my legs began to tremble; they had found me, Dreykov had found me, and now he wanted me to return to him. 
I dropped my few purchases, and began to run, causing the other inhabitants to start looking away from the sky, only to land on the crazy girl who had started running, as if they were chasing her. 
I hadn't realized that I had run far enough, until I recognized the place where I was, it was near my old home, just a few kilometers from Melina. 
I was so focused on running, and hoping to get a look at Melina, that I didn't realize that I had collided with some other moving body, not only making me stop running, but even making me fall off my feet. face to face and bounce a bit 
"What the hell?" 
"Y/N?" 
"Yelena? What's wrong? Why are you running?" 
"Why do you run?" 
“I saw that the red room is here, just as I had gone out into the city; I got scared, so I started running to... nowhere. Have you already seen it? Are you okay? 
“In fact, the room… they were captured. I had had an argument with them, so I hid, so much so that they couldn't find me” the blonde started to sob, so I carefully ran my hand up her arm, giving her elbow a squeeze “Natasha is supposed to and I were going to destroy it together, but now that they have it, I don't know what to do. She is the one who knew what to do, I was only going to support her, but... I can't do it by myself." 
"Hey, of course you're not alone, am I painted?" 
She looked at me with confusion in her eyes, trying to analyze my words. 
“Oh Y/N, you don't have to help me. Trust me, you just have to stay hidden. You already have a life after being a widow, why fight?" 
“I made a promise to Melina. I promised that I would love and protect her all the days of my life, until my last breath. 
We both started to walk to Melina's cabin, because, if someone was ready with a weapon to take down the bad guys, that would be Melina. 
“Are you going to help mama Melina despite what she did to you?” asked Yelena incredulously 
“Дорогой, I, NEVER, break my promises” 
——————————————————————————— 
Entering the building was not easy at all, especially knowing that they had separated the family members into 2 completely different sections; So, while Yelena rescued Melina and Alexei and helped us free the widows, I tried to rescue Natasha and help her bring down Dreykov. 
Yelena was apparently already halfway through her mission along with Lina and Alexei, while I had barely found the Avenger. 
"Y/N, what are you doing here?" 
"Same as you, make Dreykov burn in hell" carefully, I released her wrists from the manacles that held her captive "so what's the plan, avenger?" 
“We have to take Dreyvok to the west wing, there is an emergency bomb there, if we activate it and leave it long enough to disable its escape, we will end not only the mastermind, but also the main building. The women of the world will be able to be in peace” 
“Okay, that last one was heard too much from Captain America, I think you've been hanging out with him for a long time. But, it's a great idea. Come on, your sister is already with Lina and with Alexei”
"Come on, before he gets to us"
We both started running from the wing on the east side, to the middle of the building and just as we were going to start moving towards the west side, we ran into some agitated Alexei , Melina and Yelena.
“Do you have Dreykov behind you yet?” Yelena asked
"Y/N, what are you doing here?" Melina asked
“Trying to win you back, oh, and I'm also baking a delicious chocolate cake. What do you think I'm doing? I'm saving the world's ass."
"The world has no ass, but…" Yelena began to ramble
"I'm serious, Y/N" Melina interrupted "You shouldn't be here, I'll help you get out of here, you don't owe anything to me or anyone here, you should be trying to rebuild your life"
"Listen to me" carefully, I took her cheeks, making her forehead collide with mine; our eyes closed just enjoying the contact of the other and her smell “years ago I promised you that no matter the circumstances I would protect you, even if it put me at risk. And you know, I'm a woman of my word" I opened my eyes, giving her a quick, but meaningful kiss on her nose, moving away quickly to take Natasha's arm "Let's go, we still have to kill an asshole"
I didn't give Melina enough time to respond, when Natasha and I had started running again.
——————————————————————————— 
Natasha and I had been giving Dreyvok a few good hits, leaving him less time for the bomb to explode, the only thing we didn't know is that, the helipad was less than 5 minutes from this room, 6 minutes was enough for the escape, but we needed at least 8. 
With a strong blow, Natasha had sent him to the ground, while he had a hard time getting back up. 
I turned my head to look at the clock, seeing that it was 9 minutes before the explosion, I forcefully turned Natasha's body and pushed her to the door. 
"Leave away!" 
"Y/N, we can't leave, he will leave" 
“Not if I stay” 
"No, I won't let you stay" 
"It's not a question" I took her wrist tightly, forcing her to look me in the eyes "you have 2 families waiting for you at home, I have nothing, I have no one to wait for me after this... just go away" 
I released her, only for Dreykov 's arms to tighten around my neck, trying to suffocate me, but with a quick movement I loosened his grip and went back to fight him. 
"Y/N!" 
"Just go away!" Natasha, with tears in her eyes, turned to open the door and run, but before she could do so, she spoke, despite being now on top of Dreykov "Natasha!" she came back just to look at me "Tell Melina to always love her, with every fiber of my being" 
Without further ado, the redhead ran out of my sight. 
——————————————————————————— 
Narrate Melina 
"Where are you going?" Alexei asked as he poured himself another drink. 
"I'm going to do what I had planned for months" 
"Do you want me to accompany you?" 
“No, I need to do this by myself” 
He simply respected my request, and let me out. So, I got into the truck I had obtained, and carefully, I started driving to the municipal cemetery. 
Already there, I bought two bouquets of flowers, which combined white carnations with some pink, and others red. 
Entering the large lot, I was quickly able to find the tombstone that I had so much trouble looking at, the name 'Natasha Romanoff ' was surrounded by flowers, love, admiration and gratitude, while the tombstone next to her seemed almost empty, without love, without someone who could mourn her loss, no one, except me, who every day, felt emptier without her. 
I carefully placed their respective bouquet of flowers, adorning the name of my beautiful 'Y/N Y/L/N' 
“Hello, my love” I greeted, trying to swallow my tears “I know it's been a while since I didn't come to greet you, even though I had visited my малышка ” I carefully traced her name carved in stone “but, you have to understand me, it is not easy to know that the love of my life is buried 5 meters under the ground. I'm not ready to say goodbye” 
 
I was completely silent, not knowing what to do, why the hell was I talking to a piece of stone and earth as if they were Y/N? Who am I kidding? Y/N left, left and everything was my damn fault.
Y/N was stubborn, like a damn mule, but if I had begged her to stay in St. Petersburg, she would have, but she didn't even give me time to ask, much less say goodbye
"What are you doing here?"
"I just came to think" the other person sat next to me, while I rested my head on her shoulder "Did you come to see Natasha?"
"Actually, I came to see Y/N" the person left a bouquet of sunflowers, and a small pinwheel that had a happy face in the center "You know, I didn't know her at all, but she helped us, she was very nice with you , despite what happened… she took care of my mom for years”
I started to cry in a more violent way, she took care of me for decades, and how do I repay her? Letting her go for someone who doesn't make me feel a tenth of what she made me feel.
“Sometimes I feel that life has no meaning without her, sometimes I feel that the one who should have died was me, not her, not my маленький цветок”
"Mom, don't say that, she wouldn't like to know what you think… she knew you had us, Natasha and me, and even though Natasha is gone, Fanny and I will always be good company" she said blonde gave me a sad smile, making me do the same
"You are always welcome, my girls" I got up to kiss her cheek
"Okay, let's go, let's do some Pelmenis in honor of Y/N and Natasha."
The blonde forced me to get up, and hugged me from the side, while we walked slowly
"Only without Fanny does not rub in my pants, I do not want it full of hair"
“We promise nothing”
Before I got in the car, I took one last look at Y/N's headstone, now showing that there were people she had marked, that we would carry a part of her with us forever, people that loved her.
'My love, I loved you, I love you and I will love you, forever and ever; until my last breath. I will miss you'
Note:
I am very sorry for the delay,but, I really enjoyed doing this request (even though it broke my heart a bit), so, I wanted to spend time and love.
Thank you very much for giving so much support and love to my works, you do not know how beautiful I feel, to see, that you enjoy reading my works
I hope you enjoy it
I appreciate the reblogs, the likes and the comments
taglist: @littlebitchsposts
message me or send an ask to be added to my taglist!
Traductor:
Кролик девочка - Bunny girl
Это может навредить нам… - can hurt us…
Дорогой - darling
малышка - little girl
мой маленький цветок - my little flower
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Weekly Challenge 15/9: The endless phone-buying, forgetfulness in the doctor's office, another Kafka's nightmare, map progression, disorganized studying...
Runtime: 14th Aug - 20th Aug
This week was one chain of successive 'muggle' events that happened on a daily basis, starting from Monday.
Monday was the day I got a new phone (via mom, finally! No new quarrels today). We bought it in Yettel's shop where we had a negative experience of standing for over an hour in the shop until the entire process was done. We were exasperated both mentally and physically by the end of it and mom even showed visible signs of irritation due to it all (and due to the seller's behaviour.) By the time we were on our way home, we both started questioning whether this buying place was a good option; we both judged that it was not. But alas, the contracts were signed and sealed. There was nothing to be done about that now.
The next day, I was on my way to the Second Ambulance, where the results of my Friday testing were waiting to be picked up by me. I knocked on the door of the main office, a little bit nervous because I forgot to bring my medical ID card with me, and entered. (As a side note, this forgetfulness has become a regular, sort of subconscious, practice to me in the last several years; a little bit reminiscent of Neville Longbottom and I don't like that.) Fortunately, I didn't need ID: my results were given to me (they were fine) and I also learned that my doctor was currently on a summer vacation, so I cannot make another appointment (however, another doctor is available tomorrow, if you wish to visit it, it should be at 2.30 pm, right at the beginning of a new shift). Sure, thank you for the information, bye!
(Of course, I didn't have any intentions of visiting this other doctor. What I started with one, I wanted to finish with that one. The matter wasn't that urgent, after all.)
Wednesday. A psychiatric morning appointment, another useless endeavour. Again in the basement office: environment that looked like it came out straight outta Kafka's nightmare. I was admitted about an hour after my arrival and spent 30 minutes talking with the doctor, only for her to tell me that my personal development over the years went "all left" (meaning 'all wrong') and that I simply needed to accept myself as such. To all my worries, she just responded with: can't you not worry for a change, or worry less?
(So, it seems that I am finally done with her. Three appointments, three wasted times. Sigh )
Thursday was a completely ordinary day in which nothing of significance happened. I researched DIY options for getting the data out of my old phone in cases of damaged touch-screen (alas, too expensive); I read Life of Pi for a while, talked with Kate...
Early Friday morning I woke up with shortness of breath. Perhaps s panic attack. Later that day, I showed my three messenger friends the tentative map of the world I was in the process of creating. (I am happy with the progress so far. It's going slow, but it keeps floating!) Perhaps, the most important thing that happened this week to me.
That night, I went for a walk outside: biked my way to the shop, walked under the moonlight back. This was the first attempt at walking outdoors since my winter nightly 'expeditions' when I constantly sought to get my mind back into the dream-state that it inhabited for so long.
On Saturday, the realization finally dawned upon me that I need to start studying in earnest. However, my first idea of reading two books daily boiled down to dedicating one entire day to one and the following day to the other.
So disorganized...
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polaris-one · 9 months
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Time Management Coaching Techniques That Work
You might think that time management is a habit, like brushing your teeth. It’s not. Time management is a skill, and like any other skill, it requires practice to master. If you want to become more efficient in your daily life, whether you are an entrepreneur or working in an office environment, here are some effective time management coaching techniques that work:
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Set goals.
When you set goals, make sure they're specific and measurable. For example, instead of saying "I want to lose weight," say "I want to drop 10 pounds." This makes it easier for your coach and yourself to track progress and know when you've reached your goal.
Your goals should also be achievable but challenging--which means that they may take some time and effort before they are achieved (and sometimes even longer than expected). For example: "My goal is to be able to run 5 miles nonstop by September 1st" versus "I would like to run 2 miles nonstop by April 15th."
Finally, always remember that your goals should align with what's important for you in life--not someone else's idea of success or happiness!
Prioritize.
Prioritizing is a key component of time management coaching techniques that work. It's important to prioritize the tasks on your list in order of importance, starting with those that are most urgent and working down toward those that can wait until later.
The first thing you need to do is figure out what needs doing right away, then next week or month, etc., until you reach the bottom of your list (which should include everything else). For example:
Urgent: Call insurance company about car accident claim.
Important but not urgent: Go through my clothes closet and donate anything I haven't worn in over a year; call library about renewing my library card; call doctor's office about scheduling annual checkup appointment.* Less important than either of these two categories above: Call friend who lives nearby who doesn't have children yet so she can keep me updated on their social life without having too much pressure from them about getting together soon; buy new pair shoes online since mine aren't comfortable anymore; bring old books back from storage unit where they've been sitting since moving here two years ago
Create a To-Do List.
When you have a clear idea of what needs to be done and when, you can start scheduling your time accordingly. Make sure that the list is concise and easy to read so that it doesn't become overwhelming or confusing. You want it in front of you at all times so that when something pops into mind during the day (and it will), there's no question about whether or not it should go on the list for later that night or tomorrow morning: just write down every single thing!
Schedule your day in 15-minute increments.
It's tempting to schedule your day in 30-minute increments and then get frustrated when you don't get everything done. But if you break up the tasks into smaller chunks, it's much easier to see what needs to be done and how long each task will take. If a task takes longer than expected, just schedule another 15 minutes on top of that time slot so that you can finish up at the end of the day without feeling rushed or stressed out by not finishing everything you set out to do.
When you get distracted, go back to your list immediately.
If you start doing something else and then realize that you are no longer on task, stop what you're doing and go back to the original task. You can't do everything at once, so focus on one thing at a time! If it helps, use an alarm or timer to remind yourself when it's time for a break or another activity.
Focus on the task at hand, not the entire job or project.
It's easy to get overwhelmed by the big picture. When you're working on a project, it's natural to think about all that needs to be done and feel like you won't be able to get it done in time. But if you focus on one small thing at a time, then eventually everything will get done!
For example: If I'm working on organizing my closet, I might start by taking out all of the clothes from each drawer and putting them into piles based on what kind of item they are (tops vs bottoms). After this step is complete, I'll start sorting through those piles by color and type (shirts/sweaters vs pants). Once I've grouped everything together into categories based on category and style--and separated out any items that don't fit anymore or no longer suit me--I'll put them back into their original drawers according to category so that everything has its own place where it belongs!
Take breaks when you need them.
Take breaks when you need them, but keep track of how much time you're spending and what you're getting accomplished during those breaks.
Make sure that your body is getting enough sleep, healthy food and exercise, relaxation and positive social interactions. Your brain will thank you for this!
Delegate tasks that are not a priority for you and your business.
Delegation is an important part of time management. It's the act of assigning responsibilities to others, which frees up your time and energy.
If you're like most people, delegation is not something that comes naturally--and it can be difficult to learn how to delegate effectively without making mistakes along the way.
One technique that works well for me when delegating tasks is asking myself these questions: "Is this task something that I really should be doing?" "Does this task fall within my skill set?" If yes, then I have no problem taking on more work! If not...then it's probably best if someone else takes care of it instead!
These simple tips can help you manage your time.
Here are some time management coaching techniques that can help you improve your productivity.
Set goals.
Prioritize the tasks on your to-do list and schedule them accordingly, so you can make sure that each task is completed as soon as possible.
Create a to-do list every morning before starting work or school, so you know exactly what needs to be done before leaving for the day (or night). This will also give off a positive vibe in those around you!
Schedule your day in 15 minute increments; this will allow for breaks when needed but also force focus on what needs done right now instead of letting things pile up later on down the line when they could get even more stressful than they already are at their current momentary level of "not being stressful enough."
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Polaris One is the world's first time management coaching business. We provide our clients with the tools and strategies they need to get more done in less time, so they can spend their days doing what matters most to them. Polaris One is proud to provide Time Management Coaching. We know that you're busy, and we want to help you get more out of your day.
Our time management coaching services are designed with one goal in mind: helping you manage your time better so that you can accomplish more of what matters most to you. Polaris One wants to help you maximize your productivity, minimize stress, and improve the quality of your life in general.
Polaris One 310 Laguna Vista, Alameda, CA 94501, United States +15102893350 https://www.polarisone.com/ https://www.google.com/maps?cid=6776342651580498392
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lilacastar · 1 year
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The mirror reflected certainty in his old soul.
He knew the right thing that must be done, even if it was difficult. The past several months had taken its toll, but here stood the face of today looking back at him. Garret took one last look at his clear and assertive reflection before deciding he was ready.
An odd sense of still calmness settled in the air as he buckled into the driver's side, he wouldn't be leaving for work today, no. Today was more important. The anxiety and doubt still rested alongside, but reassurance and confidence carried him on the other. No matter what happened, he did the right thing. He had done something, which was more than everyone else had for himself.
Garret stepped into the courthouse parking lot like the other times of late. He recalled the last occasion, where he had the misfortune of crossing paths with Louise before entering the building. She'd scolded him about bothering himself with matters that were none of his business, for ruining her son's future, for tearing their family apart.
"And what about Issac's future?" Was what he responded with.
"Issac was fine until you stepped in."
"Was he? Or were you ignoring him because your other son is more important? Because you would rather your other son move on with success, while Issac takes the fall, dealing with this alone for the rest of his life."
She hadn't taken very kindly to those words, but that was unsurprising. What was surprising, was how unrestrained his emotions were now. Liz had told him 'righteous anger' suited him rather well. And he was tempted to agree.
Now seated in one of the many courthouse halls, he waited for the time the door would open. He had arrived quite a ways early, but punctuality was vital. He was plenty fine with waiting if that meant being on time for his testimony.
Movement from across the hall caught his attention, a group of three approaching. Two adults in formal wear, and a child he recognized.
Garret's heart caught in his chest, there he was, all dressed up to testify. He could only hope he'd done enough for the child to finish his decision.
Issac tugged on the woman's sleeve, and pointed his direction urgently. They conversed briefly, the two adults nodded and responded back to Issac. The three then came to where he sat.
"Issac will go in shortly," The woman stated. "You can't talk about anything you witnessed, but he'd like a quick word."
"I understand." Garret nodded.
She gestured forward to Issac, giving permission.
"Mr. Ambers," Issac urged. "What should I do? I didn't know it'd be like this, and I don't know what's going to happen."
Guilt lodged in his throat, despite knowing he still did the right thing. Getting Issac away was best, but the child would still want to go back to his family, even if it was where mistreatment was happening. And If Issac testified truthfully, his mother's custody would most definitely be lost. He didn't know how important the situation was and probably wouldn't for a long time, therefor he would naturally want to go home. Would his words really be enough? He'd done his best to explain consent and mistreatment the day Issac confessed, but could his impact last?
The woman currently in custody of Issac held Garret's gaze. He knew what she was thinking, that he should be very careful what to say. Being a witness, he legally could not discuss the events.
"I can't tell you what to do, Issac." He softy spoke. "You have to decide this on your own."
"But I don't know what's right." The child pleaded.
"You do." He countered. "The choice you make is for you, and for your health. It will be ok, you will be ok."
"How do you know? Can't you tell me what will happen?"
"I can't tell you how to testify, but I can tell you how you'll be alright."
"Please," Issac blinked, trying not to cry. "How will I be ok?"
"It's going to be real hard, I won't lie to you. Some days, it'll feel like you're stuck in your own head. It might make you feel afraid and anxious, but you'll get through it."
The beginning of the semester felt like so long ago now.
"You might think of something you don't want to, and it'll make it hard to rest. It might make you feel dirty and tired, or angry at everything. But you have to remember the people who love you."
He remembered sitting with Issac, seeing how each other felt so similar. For a brief moment in time, they were at the same level.
"Maybe one day you'll have a bad dream, and everything will remind you of how you felt. It'll make you do silly things to feel in control, like act out in ways you didn't mean to. So you got to talk about it. Because you aren't alone, and other people care. Even if it's hard to talk about."
He smiled through the pain, remembering how he destroyed the hobby that kept him safe all those years.
"And the next day, you'll clean up. You'll take a shower, and even though you might not feel clean, you'll feel a little less dirty. And that's better than before. Maybe you won't be perfect, but you'll be better."
The women checked her watch, and glanced down at Garret.
"You will be ok." He continued. "One deep breath, one day at a time."
Issac nodded, but with a hand on his shoulder, it was now time for him to leave.
"How will you do it, Issac?"
Issac inhaled steadily. "One deep breath, one day at a time."
The door opened.
[end]
✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧
[notes]
I'd like to think Issac made the right decision. But I guess we'll never know. It's hard for that to happen, especially when what you're familiar with is what's bad for you. Some children never learn what's right for them, or how to speak for themselves. Many cases can't go very far because the child doesn't know their anatomical terms, or because they've been taught they don't matter, that their abuser's future is more important than themselves. But I guess that's the point of fiction. Writing a consequence to wrong actions, where the person in need receives help. And I guess that's the end.
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lordoftermites · 3 years
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uhhhh hi, wow, hello.
i have [productively... somehow, i think?] dissociated the entire day, and now it is 1:09AM.
and while i have no idea where most of that near-13 hours went, i have a cookie. like, a whole ass cookie.
so i mean, it must have been a good day.
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violetarks · 3 years
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making up with them
anime: my hero academia
characters: midoriya izuku, bakugou katsuki, todoroki shouto, kirishima eijiro, yaoyorozu momo
warnings: afab! reader, she/her pronouns used, third person pov, part one
↣ midoriya izuku:
The two shared a house and a bed together. They cooked in the same kitchen, they got fixed up in the same bathroom, they were always in the same place.
So think about how Midoriya felt when he suddenly walked into the bedroom to see it empty and untouched. 
Y/N always went to bed before him, fixing up the pillows to their liking and turning off the light but letting the lamps stay on until they went to sleep. She would also fall asleep before him, in his arms and resting against his chest. She was there waiting for him. But not today.
After their argument, he went on a long walk. It went for around four hours, and he even vented to Todoroki about it. He didn’t specify the secret he was keeping, but he did say that he couldn’t tell her. So Todoroki told him to try to explain why the secret is so important, or just say the secret itself. The only thing that kills a relationship faster than ever is miscommunication.
It’s when he finally changes and washes himself that he hears her voice from the other room. The upstairs study. Midoriya quietly walks over to the door-less room, spotting Y/N standing in front of the desk with her hands on the wood of it. She’s on the phone, holding it close to her ear as she sighed out, “Listen, I don’t know if we’re up for this job just yet.”
Midoriya leaned against the doorway, watching her. He knew never to interrupt someone on the phone unless it was an emergency. And he knew how important it must be for her to be called after 10 PM.
“No, it’s not that we don’t want the mission.” She claimed, leaning back and rubbing her neck, “I just don't think we could do it so early. The fight with that villain yesterday really… took the toll on us.” Her voice was quiet at the end and Midoriya felt his heart squeeze.
Y/N was suddenly nodding her head, hand in her pocket now. “Of course. Yes, I will, as soon as we’re available.” She stated, shoulders now relaxing at her statement, “Oh… Izuku? Sorry, he’s not here right now. Um… he’s just on a run, to get all the tension out of his system.” 
She squinted at the wooden desk. There was truth behind those excuses. 
“I will. Okay, thank you, have a good night.” She finished off, ending the call and putting the phone onto the desk. With that, she began to wipe her face before taking a deep breath in. She began typing in Midoriya’s number. 
“What was the mission?” He called out, making her stop. Reluctantly, she turned around to be met with his green eyes. “Is it urgent?”
She shook her head after making sure she could still speak to him. “No… they just asked if we could go to a conference, but the actual mission takes place in three weeks.” Y/N explained, brushing her fingers against her neck, “But the both of us don’t need to go.”
It was clear what this was. The dissolving trust between the two of the., or rather Y/N to Midoriya. It stung a little. But he just moved forwards and collected her hands in his, looking her straight in the eye.
On his walk, he prepared for this moment. What to say, how to act. Everything down to how he would hold her in their sleep. But it seemed like now. Midoriya was frozen. His mental notes were disappearing as time went on and he was left unarmed.
"I'm sorry for what I said." She says, brushing hair behind her ear, "It was out of my place, I shouldn't have—"
“I want to tell you. But I’m afraid you won’t like what you hear.” Is all he says. But that only makes her more worried. She can't stop her mind from going places.
“Did you cheat on me?” She murmured under her breath warily.
“What? Never! I would never, Y/N, that’s not it!” He shook his head frantically, pulling her closer to him. His hand was on her cheek. “It’s about my quirk.”
They’d got together when they became Pros, so she had no idea of anything in UA, only when she first met him at the provisional license exams. Explaining this would be incredibly hard. But he had to try.
“Is something wrong?” She asks, clutching onto his hand. Although they were arguing earlier, she still felt the need to check up with him. She loved Midoriya. Nothing could change that fact.
He kept a hand on her cheek, brushing her skin. “Can I explain in bed? My legs are killing me.” He stated, closing his eyes for a moment.
Y/N snickered, nodding her head, “Of course. Thank you, Izuku. I love you."
"I love you too, Y/N." He said, peppering kisses along her face, "I just don't want you to think less of me. I'm not… I haven't always been the way I am."
She only tilted her head. Her lips landed on his forehead. "I'll still love you, Izuku." She says, leaning her head against his, "Nothing will change that."
"Well that's good to know." He says, walking with her hand in hand into the bedroom.
↣ bakugou katsuki:
He was fine without her hand in his during their walk to class. Or her little giggles and jokes about the class and herself. Or how she wanted him to feel included in whatever she did. Or the fact that she was his girlfriend. He was fine.
For about a week.
Y/N placed two drinks in front of her and Mina on the coffee table in the common room. They were going over homework, or more Y/N helping her find the answers to it. She tried keeping herself occupied by anything. On Wednesday, she talked about cheese with Aoyama. Friday, she asked Midoriya about notes on her favourite Pro Hero. Even yesterday, where Kirishima was passionately explaining his workout plan to her. Anything to keep her mind off of Bakugou.
Because she knew as soon as he would creep into her mind, that’s all she’d think about.
So when Bakugou places a hand on her shoulder, you could imagine the panic in her head.
Mina immediately excuses herself, already seeing Kaminari and Sero at the doorway to help her scurry off. That left only the two of them. Y/N glanced at Bakugou with knitted brows and a frown on her lips. Bakugou wanted her to give him that sweet smile with a tilt of her head like she normally did. But he didn’t deserve that yet.
Bakugou said some of the deepest things when he didn't know how to act.
“Can you just…” He started, hand gripping her shoulder tightly as he grounded his feet, “Just fucking talk to me?”
She mumbled back, “What’s there to talk about?”
It sounded so harsh and she meant for it to. Hearing him speak to her after a week of brushing her off was hard to deal with. How could you completely push someone away from you and your life, want nothing to do with them for a while, and then just ask them to have a conversation with you? 
He grit his teeth for a moment. “Fuck—I’m not good at this, okay?” He growls out, standing away and walking backwards from her, “How am I supposed to know how to freaking act around you now? Or—Or not want to punch that shitty nerd in the face?”
Y/N stood up from her seat, frown dropping and face relaxing. She only watched him and gripped her sleeves. Seeing Bakugou like this was… different. And she didn’t know what to do. Or if she could even do anything. 
He was unpredictable.
“I know you’re better than whatever shit I said you were.” Bakugou states, fingers wrapping around his tank top and bunching up at his fist, “I don’t know why I said you were only with me to back me up, I can fucking do that myself!”
“So you really don’t need me?” She questioned, lips pressed into a thin line. She looked hurt. She was hurting. Bakugou was hurting too. They just wanted it to stop. So bad.
He shook his head over and over again, “No! I—I still need you!” God, he sounded pathetic saying he needed someone who wasn’t him. At least, that’s how he sounded to himself. “I’m just a—… piece of shit!”
Y/N was holding her breath at this point.
“I can’t fucking change the way I am! I don’t know how to! This is just the way I turned out!” He told her, hands going up to his hair as he glared at the ground. He was going crazy right this second. If he looked at her, he knew he wouldn’t be able to talk anymore. And she deserved to hear all of this. 
“And all of that fucking sucks because now I’m going to lose you because of how much of an asshole I am!”
It’s when she reaches up and unwraps his fingers from his hair that he feels like he can breath. 
Y/N is pulling his arms around her waist and her ones are circling around his neck. Bakugou’s eyes widened as she placed a hand on the back of his head and rested it against her shoulder. He was stiff around her waist. Y/N pushed against his chest and dug her face into his neck. He smelt as usual. A little more sweet.
“You won’t lose me.” 
It’s just those words that have his worries crumble down to the ground. That stupid fight was no longer in this mind and Y/N seemed to have let it go. She understood that Bakugou couldn’t change and she knew she couldn’t make him. But she could always help him cope better.
He’s taking a deep breath in before squeezing her in his arms, nuzzling his face into her shoulder. Bakugou only grunts in return, knowing that if he spoke he wouldn’t sound as confident as he usually was. He’s happy. More than words can express.
“I better not.”
↣ todoroki shouto:
It took him a few days to understand that maybe he wasn't so right about what he said to Y/N. That the way she treated him was different.
She had the best intentions. She treated everyone she met as she thought they deserved to be. People who were bitter and arrogant were treated with caution and care. People who were loud and full of laughter were treated with the same kind of attitude. 
Those who were quiet and isolated, were accompanied and always walking hand in hand.
It was when Y/N became the silent one that Todoroki noticed the change in the week. 
It started when she woke up and greeted everyone. It was always 'good morning! How's everyone going today?'. But it was 'morning, guys'. Simple, but different. Todoroki was already up. He wanted a little bit of soba for breakfast. Only a bit.
But he seemed to have made too much. He left an extra bowl on the table for Y/N, in her spot specifically. Y/N came downstairs when Todoroki was cleaning his bowl. She spotted the food before seeing him leave the room.
From his spot in the back of the classroom, he watched as Mina tried to strike up a funny conversation with her, only for Y/N to smile and nod. Mina pouted a little, shrugging at Midoriya, Uraraka and Iida. The three of them sighed, looking at each other and trying to devise another plan.
It was break time now, signalled by the bell ring. Todoroki stood up as Y/N did. She turned towards Hagakure and Uraraka, who were bouncing with energy. With her back facing him, Todoroki slipped a small note into her bag before leaving the room with Midoriya and Iida.
He didn't pay full attention to her again until their walk back to the dorms. Usually, they'd be hand in hand, talking about the day and such. Right now, hands her in her pockets, her arm hooked with Yaoyorozu and the other with Jirou. She listened to what they said, grinning every so often.
They kept her in the living room as Kaminari and Kirishima tried to pick up her mood. In the meantime, Todoroki left a container of her favourite food at her door, along with a few flowers.
He stayed in his room for a while, trying to take his mind off of it. Was what he said so bad that it changed her mood completely? He didn't mean for it to be harsh. He just wanted to… 
To…
What did he want?
A knock on his door made his attention turn from his workbook to the entrance. Quickly brushing off the ice particles on his pants and on the leg of the chair, he went over and opened the door.
Y/N stood, holding the container of food with two pairs of chopsticks in her hands. She looked a little unprepared for Todoroki to answer so quickly. "Um… I'm pretty sure you left this at my door." She said.
Todoroki bit the inside of his cheek. He replied, "Do you want to return it?"
"Of course not." She chuckles, shrugging her shoulders a little, "It's my favourite. But… you made quite a lot here, so I thought we could—uh…"
Todoroki was already stepping aside, allowing her to walk inside. She set the container on the desk, seeing the white icicles on the floor, fading away. She turned around to Todoroki, ready to say something. But when his cold hand slipped into hers, she stopped.
"I'm sorry for what I said the other day…" He finally spoke, heart racing at the touch of her hand, "I know that people are different, but I… don't know why I thought I should be treated the same way the others are."
She gripped his hand tightly, smiling softly at his words. She knew Todoroki wasn't that good with apologising. Whatever he did, he thought through. But… just not this one. 
She wrapped an arm around his, the same one she was holding hands with. Her head leaned against his shoulder, eyes closing. "I know, Sho. It hurt a little, but I'm okay. I understand what you mean." She said into him, feeling his hand rest against her back, "But I don't want to treat you like our friends… I love you, y'know?"
Todoroki closed his eyes, nuzzling his nose into her hair. "I love you too, Y/N." He said back, pulling her closer, "Please, treat me differently from them. I don't want you away from me ever again."
Y/N pulled away, smiling and kissing his cheek. "Sure thing." She sighed, "Should we start with dinner?"
↣ kirishima eijiro:
"I don't believe I've seen you this injured in a while, L/N." Recovery Girl claimed, leaning back in her chair, "I'm sorry that I could only heal so much, your energy was already so drained when you walked in."
Y/N nodded her head. She said back, feeling the bandages on her hand, "Right, I know. Sorry for the trouble, Recovery Girl."
She came back from using her quirk too much outside in the forests of UA. She was angry. At herself, mostly. So she took it out all outside.
She had invited Bakugou to train with her again. And he did for a while, until he said it was time for homework. And then she began training by herself. She was low on energy, especially after versing Bakugou. 
It was when she missed her footing and hurt her arm that she stopped moving. Scratches on her arms, legs and her breathing ragged. She was tired now. Aizawa found her after doing a dorm check and Bakugou told him that she was still in the forest.
On the way to the medbay, he kept a hand on her shoulder. She had tears pricking her eyes but not falling. She didn't want to cry yet, holding her breath every few seconds. She was supposed to be stronger.
The older woman only shook her head. "No, it's my job to help you kids." She spoke out, hopping off of her chair, "Now, I'll leave you for a while. Be back in a while, your teacher asks for a briefing on what happened."
She walked out of the room. Y/N was left by herself, sitting up and staring out the window. It was quiet now, only the soft chirping of birds outside. She didn't enjoy it. It was never quiet when Kirishima was around.
And it was proven right when he barged into the room.
"Are you okay?" He said, rushing over to her bedside with a worried expression, "Bakugou told me you kept training and Aizawa said you were—were hurt, so I—"
She didn't face him, sitting up with her fingers gripping the bed sheets. She didn't want to face him. They hadn't been talking for about three days.
"Y/N…" He mumbled out, hand on top of hers, "Please, I'm so sorry for my outburst. Can you look at me? I can't do this anymore. I don't like this..." 
Tears falling down her face as she traced the clouds with her eyes. She made no effort to wipe them away, only letting them fall onto the sheets.
She did, however, gulp and hold her breath for a moment. "I'm sorry, Eijiro." She whispers out, palms shaking on the bed and under his hand, "I don't… What am I supposed to do?"
Kirishima is baffled by the question for a moment. Until she turns to him with that teary look in her eyes, frown on her face and out if rhythm breaths. 
He stood up straighter, leaning towards her and wrapping his arms around her shoulders. He pulled her closer, nose dug into her head and one hand caressing her cheek. 
"You'll get better, Y/N. You always do." He stated, closing his eyes as he brushed his thumb against her skin. His other hand held onto her shoulder, never letting her go. "You work just as hard as everyone else, and I'm so proud of you. But you need to learn to take breaks. I care so much about you and every time I see you in here, it hurts even more than the last."
She reached up a hand and wrapped her fingers around the fabric of his shirt. 
"I love you, Y/N." He says, kissing the top of her head. 
"I love you too, Eiji." She says, sniffing before burying her face into his chest. Her arms circled around his torso. "Thanks. For everything."
He blinks once. And then he says, "We'll stay in, eat and watch movies when we get back." 
↣ yaoyorozu momo:
The break bell rang and class was over. Y/N didn't need to look over her shoulder to know that Yaoyorozu was staring at her. She felt it the whole entire lecture.
She stood up as soon as the rest of the class left the room for lunch. Taking a deep breath, she turned around and walked towards Yaoyorozu's desk in the back. The black-haired girl sat up straighter, lips in a thin line as she saw her.
"Y/N?" She nervously said.
Y/N slouched her shoulders, staring dead straight into the girl's eyes. She was as nervous as could be but her face looked as if she was calm. 
"I'm sorry for what I said to you the other day, Momo. The thing about you and Todoroki " She mumbled out, bowing her head to her, "I know you're not… not what I'm saying you are."
Yaoyorozu tilted her head a little. "I didn't quite get the last part." She informed Y/N. 
She was confused. What was she saying? Of course, she knows of the incident that happened, but the way Y/N was wording it was challenging to understand.
"God, I don't know what I'm saying." 
Y/N suddenly broke out in laughter, pinching the bridge of her nose and leaning back against the chair behind her. "I've been thinking about this for the last two days and I still don't know what I want to say to you." She said out loud, feeling the heat rush to her throat, "I'm so sorry, Momo, this isn't the apology you deserve."
Yaoyorozu stood up, making her way around the desk. "Y/N, it's okay, I'm fine with this." She said, waving her hands.
"That's the thing…" She huffed, hands at her side and clenching her skirt, "You're settling for me, Momo. Everyone in UA knows you. I'm not the same."
She stared at the ground, closing her eyes. She hated herself for this. Because she wasn't anything like she wanted to be for Yaoyorozu. For her girlfriend.
But she thought she wasn't.
"I'm sorry for everything I said. And that I'm not—"
A hand lands on her shoulder. She opens her eyes slowly. 
"I love you, Y/N." Yaoyorozu says quietly to her. She slides her hands down Y/N's arms and into her palms. "No matter what happens, I will love you. Even if other people don't think we belong together."
The h/c-haired girl only nodded. Seemed likeYaoyorozu knew how to express herself better. Y/N squeezed her hands back, stepping closer to her. "I'll love you too, Momo. Thank you for waiting for me." She tells her.
Yaoyorozu smiles back at her girlfriend, landing a kiss on her lips. "I'll always wait for you, Y/N."
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Title: More than Words
Pairing: Idol! yoongi x reader
Warnings: smut, fluff, angst, thigh riding, dirty talk
Rating: 18 and over
Permanent Tag List: @heyimtavia​ @mochilicious-yoongi​
Y/N:
You were hustling to get to his studio before 12pm, knowing damn well once 12pm hit, you wouldn’t be able to grab his attention. You rush up the hall, iced americano in hand, and bang your knuckles onto the door of his studio.
*Silence*
You pace back and forth from one leg to the other waiting for him to answer the door. Impatient, you knock again. The door swings open and before you stands your boyfriend Min Yoongi. “Hi!” You smile excitedly, handing over the coffee you purchased for him. He smiles wide at you, grabbing the coffee with one hand and pulling you towards him with the other hand. He hugs you tightly, kissing your cheek and breathing you in. “Thank you so much jagi.” “You’re welcome. I wanted to give you some fuel for your day. I'm excited to spend the evening with you.” You explain stepping back to adjust your purse on your shoulder. “Uh, yeah, about that.” He winces and you feel your heart drops knowing what’s coming next. You swallow back the lump in your throat, clearing it completely. “Jagi, I completely forgot, and I told the members we could record the new track tonight. I’m so sorry, please don’t be upset. I know this is a surprise.” You felt the anger sear up inside you. How could he forget? You knew he was busy, but this was too much. “No, I’m not surprised. This is just how you are Yoongi, my busy bee. Honestly, I'd be surprised if we actually hung out tonight. Please, don’t worry about it. We can catch up another night. Have a great recording session.” You give a tight smile, blowing a kiss to him before sauntering off, leaving him standing at the studio door.
Yoongi:
He couldn’t move. He just stood there watching her walk off. His heart thumping in his chest. Her words echoing in his head. ‘Honestly, I'd be surprised if we actually hung out tonight.’ He couldn’t lose her, not when she was the best thing to ever happen to him. He was so in love with her, how could he be so stupid and allow his work to come in the way of his relationship. He growled under his breath, pulling out his phone. “Namjoon-ah, I can't record tonight. I have to take care of some other things tonight. Let’s reschedule for next week.” He hangs up and immediately makes another phone call. “Hi yes, It’s Min Yoongi. I need a favor.” Yoongi smiles sneakily, biting his lip.
Y/N:
You stand sulking in front of the microwave, listening to the kernels of your popcorn settle, ready to take it out before it burns. Just as you are about to yank the door open to your microwave, you startle at the sound of your doorbell ringing, huffing at how silly you are for getting such a fright. You walk over to the door, pressing your ear to it. “Who is it?” “Courier, special delivery, signature needed.” “You have the wrong address. I’m not expecting a delivery.” “Is this Miss Y/F/N Y/L/N?” “Yes.” You almost whisper. “Uh, Ma’am, please I have a lot more drop offs tonight, and this requires a signature or else I can't leave.” Your brow furrows at what it could possibly be that’s so urgent. You open the door slightly, eyeing the courier suspiciously. “Sign here please.” He hands you clipboard. You sign it, handing it back, and he then hands you a black gift box tied with silver ribbon. “Who is this from?” “I just deliver the packages ma’am but whoever it's from, they must really like you cause these deliveries are not cheap. Have a great night.”
You make your way back into your apartment and plop down onto your couch. You pull open the ribbon and lift the lid of the box to reveal a small white card atop white tissue paper. You lift the card out of the box and read the small cursive text.
‘Meet me at the Rooftop Del Mar and wear this. A car will be by in one hour. Xo Y.’
You pull the tissue paper from the box to reveal a black drape neck mini dress. Your mouth falls open as you feel the soft material and you run to jump into the shower. You are dressed and done up in under the hour time limit. You head downstairs and are greeted by a driver who is holding a tablet with your name on it. “I’m Y/N.” You say and the driver opens the back passenger door for you. You take a seat and attempt to call Yoongi but it goes straight to voice-mail.
You are at the restaurant in no time and soon the driver is opening the door and helping you to exit. “Welcome,” A male host greets you upon entrance into the restaurant, “Please follow me. You are our guest of honor.” You can’t help but blush, unsure of what’s going on. Your head is hazy and the feeling of butterflies fluttering in your tummy has you a bit queasy. You are escorted up to the rooftop, the elevator opening to an extravagantly set up dining area. There are no tables set up, only what seems like hundreds of bouquets of roses, pillar candles, and a red carpet. Your mouth hangs open and you look around drinking everything in. “Enjoy madam.” The host bows and gets back onto the elevator to leave. “Uh, wait. I don’t know what’s going on.” You stutter, your mouth dry.
You hear a click and suddenly your favorite love song plays on the overhead and you feel your heart thump in your chest. “May I have this dance?” Yoongi appears before you. Your jaw drops at how amazing he looks dressed in a white shimmering suit with pink embroidered top. He smiles at you, taking you in. “You look beautiful, jagi.”
Yoongi:
“How? Why? I thought you had to work?” She questions, picking at her fingers. “Work can wait. You can’t. I’ve been working too much and neglecting you, the most important person to me. I’m sorry for that jagi. I wanted to show you just how much you mean to me, just how much I love you, here, tonight. So, may I have this dance?” He smirks, holding his hand out to her.
She smiles that big beautiful smile and moves towards him, taking his hand. He pulls her towards him, her giggle filling him with joy. They begin to sway side to side, her palm resting on his chest, his hand on the small of her back. “Won’t you get in trouble for not recording the new track?” She inquires. Yoongi shrugs. “The thought of losing you trumps any trouble I could ever get in.” He says, twirling her around. She giggles again, her body pressed against him when she returns to him.
They gaze into each other’s eyes and all Yoongi can think about is how much he loves her, how he’d do anything to see her smile the way she is right now, and how he’d never do anything to jeopardize what they’ve built. “What?” She chuckles, her cheeks reddening. “You’re just so beautiful. I can’t stop looking at you.” He whispers, leaning in to plant a kiss on her soft lips. “Dinner is served outside sir.” The host appears. Yoongi nods, leading Y/N out through the decorated area, and onto the deck where a beautiful candlelit dinner has been setup.
Yoongi pulls out the chair for her to sit and takes a seat across from her on the bench. He looks up at the night sky, thinking how not one star in that sky shines as bright as his gorgeous Y/N. “Yoongi, this is so amazing. You didn’t have to do all this.” She assures almost nervously. Yoongi reaches his hand across the table to take hers. “Of course, I did. You mean the world to me and I’m sorry that I haven’t been doing right by you. It’s wrong of me to always put you on the back burner. Yes, work is important but all these accolades and then no one to share them with? If my whole world fell apart, I know I’d be ok, so long as I have you. You deserve someone who cares and I do, so much. I promise to show you that often jagi. More than words, actions. I never want to lose you, us.”
Yoongi sees the tears forming in her eyes and he brings her hand to his lips to comfort her. “Don’t cry my love.” She stands immediately, walking over to sit in Yoongi’s lap, her head in the crook of his neck. He pulls her close, the feel of her warm body against his bringing him such comfort. “I love you so much Yoongi. I was so scared earlier, like you just didn’t care anymore but this is so amazing. You’ve made me so happy. I don’t want to lose us either.” “Never jagi. Never.” He whispers, kissing her shoulder. She shifts in his lap, moving to plant kisses on his lips. He doesn’t fuss, instead letting her dig her hands in his hair to tug at his locks.
He can’t help but moan when she drags her tongue along his bottom lip. He opens his mouth for her and she wastes no time deepening the kiss, swirling her tongue around his. She breaks the kiss, licking her lips seductively as she stands. Yoongi looks past her, smirking when the host steps out to check on them then immediately turns to walk back in when Y/N straddles Yoongi. “Jagi, we’re still in public. Let’s finish dinner and we can head back home.” Yoongi pants, his breath catching in his throat when she thrust her hips forward. She shakes her head in opposition and Yoongi frowns. “I want you now.” She whines. “Not going to happen my love.” Yoongi declares.
She bites her bottom lip, her eyes glinting with that dark lustful look Yoongi knows too well. “I’m serious.” He warns. “Me too.” She teases, planting an open mouth kiss on his neck, suckling at his flesh. Her hand dripping down to massage at his manhood. Yoongi sucks in a breath, wrapping his arm around her waist and lifting her off her feet. He walks over to a secluded area, covered by greenery and potted trees. Yoongi takes a good look around, happy to have found a spot out of camera view.
Y/N:
“My poor naughty girl. It’s my fault you can barely control yourself.” Yoongi whispers against your collar bone, planting kisses against it. “It is.” You moan, attempting to reach down to grab his erection until Yoongi grabs both your wrist in one of his large hands. “No, no, no my love. Tonight, is all about you.” He smirks, taking his bottom lip between his teeth. He raises your hands above your head, holding them in place there. He lifts his bent knee up and anchors it into the wall between your legs, planting his flexed thigh into your heat. He grips your hip with his free hand and drags you across his thigh. You gasp out loud and watch the devilish grin spread across Yoongi’s face. “That’s it baby. Use me. I want to make you feel good, watch you cum.” You whimper at his words.
Bending your knees to gain better footing, you soon begin to rock back and forth along his firm thigh, your needy bud throbbing and hardening with each thrust. “My gorgeous girl. So needy, I’ve neglected you for too long, haven’t I? Dying for release?” “Yess. Yoongi. I need you.” “I’m right here baby. Watching you, wanting you so badly. You look so beautiful. So hot against my thigh. Soaking into my pants.” He whispers, licking at the shell of your ear. You moan out, rocking harder against him, bending your knees further to press more of your electrified bean into his tensed muscle. Your panties are completely soaked and the friction against your nerve endings has you coming undone faster than you had anticipated.
“Yoongi, so close. So…. God damn close.” You mewl, throwing your head back. Yoongi releases your hands, taking your hips into his hands now. You grip his shoulders, staring into his eyes as he presses his thigh into you more, aiding you across his thigh at an accelerated rate. Your mouth falls open, and you pant frantically, your throat drying. “That’s it jagi. Let go, soak my thigh, cum for me baby.” “Oh god,” You cry out, the coil deep inside your belly tightening. You clench your cunt suddenly, your coil snapping immediately. “Oh, yes! Yoongi, I’m cumming.” You shout, digging your nails into his shoulders. He pulls you into a kiss, one hand buried in your hair the other on your ass, still dragging you across his thigh. He swallows your sobbed moans with his tongue, slowing the pace as you come back from your high.
You pull away from him, pressing your back against the wall. Yoongi stretches his leg, the very apparent wet spot glistening in the moonlight. “I ruined your suit.” You say breathlessly. He shrugs looking down at it. “I don’t care about the suit. How do feel?” “OK, like I want more.” He smiles his wide gummy smile and moves towards you, pressing his body into yours. He kisses you softly. “Like I said it’s all actions from here forward jagi. Whatever you want. Although, maybe we should eat?” You giggle, kissing him again. “OK, maybe just a quick bite.” “That’s my girl.”
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welldonekhushi · 2 years
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Corrupted Blood: Shock and Awe
The SAS compound was attacked by the vampire forces lead by Zakahev, as the counter-vampires try to defend their attacks and eliminate all of them each. But, the count was so strong, that it almost destroyed everything, including leaving many casualities. Some had escaped on time until the vampires don't stop their tantrum, but it seems one had been left behind.
The SAS soldiers began to run through the nearby forest and go as far as they can. While retreating, Gaz tried to contact Price, but the signals were weak and they weren't able to reach back. Also, Wallcroft stopped for a while and turned back, looking at the base far away, still being attacked.
"Wallcroft, why did you stop your steps? We have to leave now!" Gaz cried.
"I am not able to contact with the FNG! Maybe he's still back there!" Wallcroft replied.
"Why would he not retreat yet, didn't he get the order?!" Gaz said in shock, seeing that they left Soap. Back there, it's pretty unknown what could have happened to him.
A half-hour passed. And everything came to a rest, with everything finished. The bodies of the soldiers were scattered everywhere in a pool of blood, either being bitten or slashed to death. It was a very brutal attack, as faced by the SAS.
Captain Price never knew the coming danger he would have to see when he'll come back to the base. Going away for an important meeting, about the discussion of strengthening the army to oppress Zakahev's army, and now coming back. Price was coming back in his car, trying to contact Gaz or anyone but they weren't able to pick up. It was strange, for the base to not pick up any sort of incoming message. He was about to reach anyway, so it wasn't much of an emergency.
Price parked the car nearby the garage, and then arrived at the main compound. For what he could first notice, he almost tripped over something, to look at it, he found a leg out. Price could before open the control room beside him, suspicions rise within and with that he bashes open the door, and his eyes widen in shock. He saw the people violently murdered. Price panicked for a bit and then escaped the place, but it wasn't the only area which he witnessed being filled with dead bodies. He looked at the condition of the base. Everything was on fire, with crashed vehicles, buildings, and the many dead. Price walks around the place, seeing their bodies being slashed to death. One thing that worried him was he can't see his friends around.
Could they be dead too? Or they're hiding somewhere in safety?
Price stormed in the compound, passing through every corpse, to find one. Soap.
He lied there on the ground, passed out. Price cried out. "Soap!" He ran towards him and picked him up, but Soap was still unresponsive. Maybe being unconscious, he wasn't able to wake up, Price tried to contact Gaz as soon as possible to send aid and support. He grabbed the nearby walkie talkie on the ground and dialled in.
"Hello? Does anyone copy? I'm Captain Price, we are in an urgent need for aid, over!" Price cried through the phone, hoping the signals might reach for help, but the communication was going static as usual. Price tried again and again, and Soap was drowsing and pulsating in pure pain. He hissed and then opened his eyes, blinking them a few times to clear his vision. He can see Price, trying to contact anybody they can find, and saw him now picking up and making both escape out. L
Before Soap and Price can escort out of the base safely and gather the signal, the Seargant growled in anger. Price stopped midway and looked at Soap in concern, thinking he must have been injured badly, but it felt like something else.
"Son, are you okay? Are you hurt? Don't worry, we're going to get help so—"
Soap lets out a huge roar, and pinned Price to the ground, trying to attack over him. The Captain got horrified, not able to believe what was happening but now he was witnessing it. Soap growled and hissed in hunger, his fangs protruding from his teeth and eyes glowing red. Price got sight of a wooden rod beside him, so he quickly grabs it and uses to stop Soap from biting him. The rod was between his mouth, which now started to water in saliva. Price tried to restrain Soap's attack but his shock was making him not believe it.
"S-Soap.. h-he's.." His attention then went towards his neck, to see it bitten.
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"He's a vampire?" Price said to himself, while trying to block Soap's fury from killing him instantly. He was growing more and more furious, and something had to be done to stabilize him down.
"Soap! You have to listen to me! I know you're there! Don't do this!" Price cried but Soap didn't listen, instead, he just roared in anger.
"Look at me, son! This isn't you! This isn't what a true soldier does! No matter if you changed into a vampire, you still can be better! Soap, don't do this! Are you listening to me? Soap!" Price tried everything in his power to bring back the Seargant to his senses, and somehow, it did. He felt a drop of tear fall over his cheek, and saw that Soap was crying.
He began to sob through the wooden rod over his mouth, and clenched his eyes in hurt. Price's eyes softened and realised he still had the human within him. To end it once and for all, he picked up a syringe from his pocket.
"I'm sorry." Price furrowed his eyebrows, and stabbed the syringe through Soap's neck, making him pass out again. They both were laid on the ground, while the base was still in chaos. There, help finally arrived, and rescued the survivors, including Price and Soap together. The Captain wasn't that heavily injured, but he knew one needed help and he had to be with him at all costs.
Because things had been drastically changed. For Soap. And for anybody themselves.
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aspire-to-the-light · 2 years
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How to know when "take a break" isn't working for your brain
If your dash looks anything like mine, Tumblr is quite fond of telling you to take a break. It says things like "your body needs to rest, it's not shameful" and "don't feel bad about getting nothing done during the pandemic, it's a very stressful time" and "capitalism tries to stop us taking breaks but actually breaks are vital". Unfortunately, it took me a long time to realise that most advice in this vein is absolutely horrible for my brain and it is very damaging for me to be constantly hearing those messages. Here are some signs that you might be a person like me, who needs to either block those posts or mentally reverse the advice.
You do want to do something. Check in with your feelings. If you want to do a million different things but can't decide on one, the solution is to roll a dice. Taking a break and doing none of them will probably just make you sad.
You have been lying in bed for 12 hours. "Take a break, rest is important, don't be ashamed" urges your Tumblr. You have been lying in bed for 24 hours. You need to eat something and don't want to get up and make it. Thinking about getting up and making food is very stressful, so you decide to take another break. You have been lying in bed for 48 hours.
You feel just as tired after lying down as you felt before you lay down, but you feel energised and renewed after achieving something - even something small.
When you are "taking a break", you actually feel compelled or obligated to finish the things that your brain has labelled as "break actions" - eg. you take a break by playing a game of solitaire, and don't feel like you can end your break until after you've beaten the solitaire (even if you kind of actually want to get back to work).
Worse, maybe your break actions feel more urgent and compelling than your work - like if you know that your homework is more important than scrolling Twitter, but emotionally you feel like it is absolutely vital to be up-to-date on all the latest world tragedies via Twitter and have all the correct takes, so when you take a break and scroll Twitter you actually get more stressed out.
You find it very easy and enjoyable to finish a task that you've started, but incredibly daunting to start a new task or to restart a task that you took a break from.
You are trying to "take a break" from basic self-care actions like feeding yourself and using the bathroom. Those actions are actually obligatory and you do not get to take breaks from them, sorry.
You feel afraid of introspecting about your goals, because if you worked hard on the things you're passionate about and really enjoy, then you might have to admit to yourself that it's time to stop doing the daily quests in the phone app you don't even like. You don't want to admit that to yourself. You take a break from thinking about it, and go do your daily quests in the phone app you don't even like.
You are afraid of coming back from breaks because you drag them out so long, you're scared of replying to people's emails and messages - you find yourself constantly writing "sorry it took so long to reply", then taking another break because that was stressful
Taking a break becomes your only mechanism for coping when work becomes stressful. Don't know how to start a task? Take a break! Anxious about getting something perfect? Take a break! Made a mistake and upset about it? Take a break instead of fixing it! Burying all your woes in Solitaire is not a healthy kind of "taking breaks" - it is just encountering a problem and responding by giving up.
You find that your breaks inevitably get longer, and harder to come back from, every time you take one
You find yourself nodding along to a "rest is vital and breaks are important!" post and decide that you're taking a break, despite the fact that you have done zero work in a week and aren't taking a break from anything at this point
You are using "I just need a short break" as an excuse to avoid pressure whenever anyone asks about your work, because you are ashamed and uncomfortable
You find that your idea of what is normal is very malleable; it used to be easy to work 12-hour days when you considered it normal and expected and just did it... but now you expect to need a break after 30 minutes of work, suddenly your brain demands one
It feels like you're giving ammunition to the excuse-monster inside your head, who says things like "just five more minutes" and "but breaks are really important" and "can't we just finish this one video" when you're trying to persuade yourself to get back to work - and feeding the monster doesn't feel good
Rest does not make you feel good
Movement makes you feel good
Interacting with people makes you feel recharged and/or inspired
You are diagnosing yourself with burnout when you haven't worked in a long time and no amount of rest seems to be making the "burnout" better
Diagnosing yourself with burnout doesn't feel like relief, or like an explanation of what's being going on, or like finally having a label for something you couldn't speak of - it just feels like feeding the excuse monster, it feels scary
You find it much easier to do work and feel energised when you get out of the bed or room where you've been stagnating, but taking breaks and resting always seems to involve staying put
The unease in your soul is really with yourself, not with the pressure of the outside world
Doing nothing and resting makes you feel very anxious, and you take a break to recover from the anxiety, which feeds a vicious cycle
Think carefully about whether this is you. Many people find that the Tumblr-advice, on resting more and feeling less guilt about taking breaks, is useful and important to them. This post is not aimed at you if you are one of those people. You are not bad for taking breaks. This is purely aimed at the people who are "resting" in ways that actually don't make them happy or rested.
If you think you are one of these people, here are some alternative things to try:
Have tasks that feel productive and exciting, but are very easy to get started on - eg. opening up a Duolingo app and starting a lesson
Try to have lots of things around that make it low-cost to start different activities - for example, roommates who will drag you into the kitchen and ask to cook together, lots of accessible screens (phones and tablets and PCs) with your work in Google docs, and an easily accessible todo list
Instead of finishing a task and then taking a break, leave the very last line of your essay unfinished and then take a break. It's much easier and less daunting to come back and write the final sentence of your essay and then start on the next task, rather than having to come back from a break and immediately figure out a new task. The final line of your essay becomes like an easy starter task that you know exactly how to do, to tempt you back from your break.
Instead of doing 'rest' activities, rotate tasks - eg. alternate working on your website's code and working on your artwork so that you get a 'break' from each type of task while remaining in a flow/work state
Surround yourself with people who treat it as extremely normal to work all day and cook yourself a meal; they should be sympathetic if you express that you're struggling but they should not regard it as the default/normal state of affairs. It is not something your excuse-monster gets to demand. Your excuse-monster is the unreasonable one here, you know it, and you want other people to back you up when you're arguing against it.
Recategorise what your brain thinks of as "rest"; when people tell you to take a break, they are not telling you to lie in bed and play solitaire, they are telling you to work on your novel. Lying in bed and playing solitaire is not rest. It is just not an action that people like us should do.
Internalise that you do not want to lie down and watch TV if it makes you feel bad, and that means you shouldn't do it, no matter how many people tell you that rest is important. You should only do things that make you feel good.
Make a list of things that make you feel good - not the things that are 'supposed' to be restful but things that actually make you feel energised and revived. For me this list includes martial arts and writing poetry and does not include naps or TV.
Do not negotiate with the excuse-monster. IFS does not work on the excuse-monster. The only way to get rid of the excuse-monster is to do the incredibly hard work of actually making yourself feel accomplished enough that the excuse-monster isn't panickedly clinging to its Cookie Clicker high score. The only way out is through.
Instead of resting, indulge. No, I will not lay in bed for another five hours. I will make myself an extra special dessert and a cup of nice tea. It will be nice. It will be worth getting out of bed for. I will treat myself by drinking the tea while I work on my novel (or learn Spanish or write my essay or whatever other task makes me feel good). It is important that the reward for being productive is "I get to eat these delicious biscuits while I work on my essay" or "I get to enjoy this beautiful view at the park while I read my textbook" and not "I did tasks for a bit so now I get to stop doing tasks". Not-doing-tasks is not inherently a reward and mentally categorising it that way will fuck you up.
If you notice a bad routine forming, like scrolling Tumblr for two hours on your phone in bed every day after waking up, do anything to break it before it becomes habit. Uninstall the app. Sleep on the couch. Invite a friend over for an 8am run together. Do not let it become normal, because once it's normal you'll feel like you're being put-upon if you decide to do something good instead, and that's when the monster thrives.
Again, these are ideas for if the standard advice does not work for you. I am not trying to imply that everyone is lazily making excuses to get out of work. I am saying that I have an excuse-monster and these are things I do to try and keep it managed.
I will add more if I think of more later. I mostly just wrote this off the cuff while waiting for my tea to boil. I'm going to get a nice cup of tea to help me through handling my emails!
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sammininoofthelord · 3 years
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Last chapter of the 5+1 "5 times Aziraphale shielded Crowley from the rain, and one time he didn't."!
Can't believe is over!
Collab with @zeckarin-blaise
It is Crowley's last day as Nanny Ashtoreth, and she needs to break the news to Aziraphale.
You can read it on Ao3 by Zeckarin or bellow
**
Until a few minutes ago, the garden had been a true haven of peace. Crowley sighed in her coffee cup, wondering for the third time if she should close the kitchen’s window or not.
Eavesdropping was important, but she liked to drink her coffee in peace.
The Antichrist’s furious yelling started again, so loud Crowley wondered if he was unknowingly using some part of his powers to reach such volume.
“ I don’t want to go to Scotland!” screamed Warlock at the top of his lungs.
“ This is an important occasion for your father, and you will come with us,” answered his mother, only slightly lower.
“ Scotland sucks !” yelled the boy, stomping his feet on the ground and effectively squashing two tulips in the process.
From her vantage point, Crowley scowled. She did teach the boy to ground the world under his heels, but the poor flowers had been doing their best and were, as the rest of the garden, flawless. She would have to have a word with her charge when he came back.
With a pang, she remembered there would be no word to be had upon Warlock’s return.
Blessed social conventions, decreeing that a boy of nine wasn’t in need of a nanny anymore. The next two years would be critical in shaping Warlock’s mind, and the role would befall another demon.
What kind of stupid fake name was ‘Harrison’ anyway?
With a low growl, she finished her cup, looking at the coffee machine. She needed more, but it would have to wait. There was a much more pressing matter to take care of.
Where was that stupid angel when she needed to see him? He usually spent half of his mornings here in the kitchen, chatting and drinking tea with the cook, who had a soft spot for ‘ that nice Mr Francis’ , and always used him as her personal taster*.
*Not that the angel complained. Mrs. Griffiths was a wonderful cook, and had been the recipient of many small blessings in the last four years.
 
A movement in the gardens caught her eyes, and she blinked in surprise.
What was Aziraphale doing trimming the edge? In all his time as a gardener, he had always miracled them neat every few weeks.
Tilting her head, she focused on her old nemesis. Was that… sweat on his forehead?
“ What in Manchester is going on?” she mumbled, putting her empty cup down and heading to the door.
“ Hiya, angel.”
Aziraphale started, the movement making him snap his clippers. He watched in fascinated horror as the top of the bush fell to the ground.
“ Trying a new style?” asked Crowley with a chuckle. “I’m not sure Harriet is very keen on modern art, you know.”
“ Crowley!” chided Aziraphale in a hushed voice, “How many times will I have to ask you not to sneak up on me!”
“ I’m a demon and a snake, sneaking is my thing , angel. The question is why are you here, working your arse off like a real gardener?”
Aziraphale straightened himself haughtily. “I am a real gardener! And I am taking my work seriously!”
“ Ha!” scoffed Crowley, summoning all of Nanny Ashtoreth’s poise and sense of decorum to stop herself from laughing out loud, “You haven’t cut a single leaf of grass in four years, you lazy bastard! If you want to lie to me, make it at least a little more plausible.”
For a moment, the angel seemed like he was about to answer with outrage, but something shifted in his look and he deflated visibly.
Crowley squinted. “ What ?” she snapped.
Aziraphale shrugged, picking up his clippers. “Nothing. I… may have had a visit from Gabriel this morning.”
Crowley hissed through her teeth. “What did that wanker say this time? Let me guess: too many frivolous miracles? Is that why you’re butchering those poor boxwoods?”
She unfolded her black umbrella in angry motions and held it over her friend with pursed lips. Stupid wanker Gabriel, forcing her angel to work in the blazing sun like this. Typical.
The angel mumbled something unintelligible.
“ I am afraid I didn’t quite catch your meaning, Brother Francis,” said Crowley dryly.
“ I said he ordered me to quit!” cried the angel in anguish.
“ He WHOT?”
“ Not so loud!” pleaded Aziraphale, looking up at the sky. “He asked me to quit my position here. Apparently there is a lack of angelic intervention in Soho, and I am needed there.”
“ That… doesn’t make sense,” said Crowley, frowning. “Do you reckon they’re afraid you’ll succeed?”
Aziraphale blinked, and another perfectly trimmed bush lost its head. “Why would they want that? I am trying to avoid the end of the world, of course they approve of it!”
“ Why else would they want you out, angel?” Crowley gasped in realisation. “Oh! Are they replacing you too?”
Aziraphale suddenly got very still. “Replacing?” he asked cautiously. “What do you mean? Is Hell replacing you?”
Crowley shrugged, her perfectly coiffed hair not moving one millimetre. “Yeah, they’re sending another demon tomorrow to take over.”
“WHAT?” yelled Aziraphale, throwing the clippers away so hard they sank into the ground to the handle. “How DARE they? I will not let this happen, Crowley, I swear to you! I will smite them the instant they put a foot on Earth, and every other after them if I need to!”
Crowley reached out in a hurry, grabbed her friend’s shoulders and shook furiously until the Heavenly light dimmed around him.
“ Not replacing me on Earth ! Here! With Warlock! They’re sending someone to take my place here !” she said urgently, waving around.
“ Oh,” said Aziraphale. “Maybe you should have started with that.”
“ Honestly, angel, don’t you think I would have looked a little more stressed if they’d called me back to Hell ?”
Aziraphale pouted, looking away. “Well… possibly,” he admitted.
“ Possibly,” mimicked Crowley, rolling her eyes. “Really, you’re unbelievable. Here you are, keeping a low profile and not using miracles so Heaven doesn't know you stayed and disobeyed them, and you go and try to summon Heavenly Grace directly from the source!”
“ Ah, yes. Thank you for stopping me, dear girl. It was not the most discreet endeavour.”
“ Tell you what? Let’s go back to London together tomorrow. I’ll give you a ride. We did our best here anyway.”
“ But… what about Warlock? He needs positive influences in his life!”
“ Angel… there’s a new demon arriving here tomorrow. They’ll spot you, it’s way too dangerous. We will find a way to keep an eye on Warlock,” she added, seeing the angel’s resolution weakening.
“ All right, then. If you are sure it is the right thing to do,” conceded Aziraphale.
“ You won’t be able to stop the Apocalypse if you’re dead, angel,” grumbled Crowley.
“ Quite right.”
Aziraphale looked around, made a face at the massacred edges, and sighed. “Well. Better start packing!” he said, clapping his hands to get rid of the dirt.
“ You’re going to leave it that way, right?” asked Crowley with a knowing smirk.
“ I am sure the next gardener will have no trouble taking care of it,” lied her friend, walking towards the house.
Crowley followed him, feeling both proud and impressed.
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maplecornia · 3 years
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chapter 22
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𝔴𝔬𝔯𝔡 𝔠𝔬𝔲𝔫𝔱: 4.36K
𝔤𝔢𝔫𝔯𝔢: romance | slice of life | fluff | angst | bts x female!reader | ot7
𝔰𝔲𝔪𝔪𝔞𝔯𝔶: You watched them from the sidelines ever since you were a young teenage girl. Now you’re grown up, they’ve returned after 2 long years and everything has changed. What happens when you pull back the mask and find the darkness within? What happens when you see that they’re broken?
𝔞/𝔫: our first full introduction to all of BTS! I hope you're all excited ^^
𝔴𝔞𝔯𝔫𝔦𝔫𝔤𝔰: cliffhangers | angst | fluff | slight mentions of self hatred | depression | mental health illness | self harm | occurs in the year 2024 | set in a timeline where BTS went to the military together | slight language
tags: @kookaine | @fangirl125reader | @kookiebbyxx | @taradevonne | @rae-bear |@mangminnie | @pixiekooo
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Why did there have to be a meeting today of all days?
Yoongi scowls in the back of the car, trying his best to work on the small music app he’s downloaded for free on his phone. Letting out a small growl, he throws the phone aside, frustrated and annoyed.
“Absolute trash.” He snarls, staring ahead with nothing but malice in his eyes. The driver flinches a bit at the dark aura emanating from the back seat, and slowly rolls up the little partition glass that separates the two.
You know...just in case.
Yoongi notices the small act of distance and rolls his eyes, scoffing. He doesn't have to apologize. He can have a bad attitude if he wants. His schedule was supposed to be completely free today, a day where he could work on the album quietly. It was supposed to be a productive day, one where he could hole himself up in his studio and work and work until he made music that was perfect for their comeback.
Perfect for BTS.
Narrowing his eyes, he mutters a string of curse words under his breath for the 7th time that morning.
Then he got the call. That there was an urgent meeting for BTS to attend. A meeting that would affect the future of the company.
Running his hands through his hair, he tries to refrain himself from punching the car window out.
"What the hell is that even supposed to mean?!" He screams in aggravation, causing the driver on the other side of the partition to jump, startled. Not paying any mind to the driver currently struggling to restart his heart, Yoongi sighs, positioning himself on the seat so that he's comfortably lying down. Looking up at the ceiling with his soft, sparkling eyes, he tries to calm down. See things in a brighter light, try not to care so much. It's just...things are so frustrating to him.
All.
The.
Time.
Raising his hand to cover his eyes, he tries to remember a time when things had been so hard. He remembers training, debut, remembers the struggles of rising to the top, remembers injuries, exhaustion, remembers quarantine and tireless motivation…
Each moment seemed worse than the last. Every time they conquered a new struggle, another presented itself. As though they were walking down a road filled with multiple storms. A road that was destined to tear them apart, scatter them and leave them for dead.
Suga didn't think it would be so hard to leave. They were only gone for 2 years and yet by the time they got back it was almost as though the world had either forgotten about them, replaced them, or turned against them. Smiling bitterly, he raises his dark eyes to the ceiling once more, his hand curling into a fist at his side.
"You really fooled us didn't you...?" He mutters, his voice soft, but cold. Shivering with forgotten remorse. His hand rests itself safely over his eyes, shielding himself from the world. Trying so hard not to lose himself, he fights back the tears, barely able to struggle out the one word he's been holding back for so long.
"ARMY…"
Closing his eyes, he fails to catch one solo tear that falls, trailing a lonesome streak of wet painful memories across his soft ivory cheek.
He doesn’t remember the rest of the drive to the studio, choosing instead to block everything out and focus on releasing the dark cloud shrouding his mind. He’s learned how to deal with the pain, how to erase it, ease it safely and securely back into the inner corners of his mind...his heart. It's an endless procedure, falling and picking the pieces back up again. It doesn’t seem to matter how many times he may lock them away...they always come back, stronger and worse than before.
At least he’s learned to keep it inside.
At least he can safely hide.
And pretend everything is alright.
As the car pulls to a stop, Yoongi seriously considers skipping the meeting and staying home. Maybe then he wouldn’t feel like crap. Maybe then he’ll be able to forget...at least for a while. However, as soon as the car pulls up, the driver immediately opens the door and cuts the ignition. Yoongi groans from the back seat, glaring up at the ceiling just as his driver opens his door, and nervously waits for him to exit.
Muttering under his breath about how some people are such pussies nowadays, Yoongi reluctantly sits up, gathers his things and exits the car. Paying no mind to the nervous driver, he stares up at his company building. His face hidden in a shadow, he bites his bottom lip, his hand clenching around the strap to his backpack.
Since when has he regretted coming here?
Since when was he afraid to see what may lie on the other side?
Shaking his head free of such thoughts, he groans, the dark cloud surrounding him only growing. Today’s just a bad day, he really needs to pull himself together. Sighing, he rubs his hand over his face before heading towards the building. Each step seems to weigh him down, blur the world around him, bring him further and further into his mind.
A dark mess of music notes and compositions.
Of torrents of pain and broken promises.
Of hidden fears and memories.
The mind of a man past his breaking point.
But then he hears the voice.
“Yoongi!”
Just as he’s opening the door to the building, it calls out from right behind him. That one voice...that one sweet cacophony holding brotherhood and love, is enough to draw him back to reality. It’s enough to break the hold the darkness had had on him. Smiling softly to himself, he turns and meets his eyes with a soft steady look of his own.
“Hoseok.”
Jhope smiles broadly at the mention of his name, and finishes running across the distance to his hyung. Clapping his hand around his shoulder he chuckles a bit as they walk together inside. Yoongi smiles at him a bit, but looks away before Jhope could notice.
If he was being honest, any one of his members have the same effect on him. Every one of them...the hidden parts to the family they have struggled so hard to build...they make everything okay. They make everything worth it.
If Yoongi were to suffer…
Then it would be okay.
As long as it was all for them.
“Hyung, why do you think PD-nim wanted us here this early?” Hoseok asks, breaking his hold on his friend in order to stretch as he yawns. Yoongi doesn’t answer, brooding a bit over how his work got interrupted once more. First it was Namjoon, over a stupid assistant, now its Bang Sihyuk?
“Whatever it is, I hope he has a good reason for interrupting me.” Yoongi mutters darkly under his breath, startling Jhope a bit. Jhope flinches, and noticing the change in Yoongi’s mood, steps away a small distance, chuckling nervously.
“Were you working on something important?” he asks as they walk inside the elevator, headed to the office on the top floor. Yoongi scoffs as he presses the button and the elevator doors close.
“I sure hope it was. It was for our new album, which is due no less than a few months from now! Namjoon and I still haven’t even gotten the beat down for the title track...and now this?! What could possibly be more important?” Yoongi sighs, collapsing against the cool metal walls against the elevator. Cold and indifferent, he stares at his warped expression in them, wondering if that’s enough to protect himself.
But...
What does he need to protect himself from?
Jhope regards Suga with a soft look, almost pitiful. He’s found that when he gets like this, sometimes it’s just best to leave him be, to let him work it out on his own. But right now…
Is this really the best way to solve things?
The look on Yoongi’s face is familiar, and yet different from all those times before.
Hoseok finds that he can't read it, he doesn’t recognize it. Something about that…
Scares him.
As the elevator dings, and Yoongi immediately steps out into the hallway, it takes Jhope a moment to follow suit. Silent, he watches the back of Yoongi, trying hard to understand him, figure out what’s going on with him. It frustrates him that right now, when he needs him most is when Jhope has no idea how to help him.
Can he help him?
Biting the inside of his cheek, he looks at his feet as they make their way to the meeting room. He knows that ever since they were separated, ever since the military enlistment, no one has been the same. Once beloved by the world, they found themselves facing the fear of being forgotten. Of entering a world where no one cares about who you are...only how strong you can be. An honorable service, but a taxing one, something that would change a person.
And so it has changed Bangtan.
For Yoongi, it drove him further into himself. Into the depression of darkness he had tried so hard to avoid. Without his sources of light, without that grasp on hope he had before...he found everything fading away. He found himself fading away.
How easy is it to find yourself again?
How easy is it to turn everything back to how it was before?
For anyone who knows...it’s near impossible.
So he’s trying, he’s trying his hardest to turn it into something that he can live with. Into a strength he can look back on and say he grew from. Another obstacle that he has defeated in his pathetic excuse he calls a life…
But what can he do right now?
Except fall deeper and deeper into the darkness which becomes so alluring to him. He finds himself longing for it, he finds himself wishing to end it...because what is he fighting for anyway? He already reached the top...and now he has to make his way back up again? What is that supposed to mean to him? How is he supposed to deal with that?
They said they would stay with them.
They said they would wait for them.
But they lied.
They moved on, they forgot.
Was everything they ever did…
Did everything mean nothing to them?
Entering the meeting room the pair of them are greeted by noise. The familiar noise of joy and laughter Bangtan carries with them everywhere, just happy being with the other...no matter how many hardships they may face nor how much the darkness may cloud each of their minds...as long as they're together, nothing else matters. Yoongi can’t help it…
He smiles.
It happens on its own accord, without warning. It's just...seeing them, seeing how happy they are despite everything makes him feel a bit of happiness, a little ray of joy, a little speck of pride and amongst them all he finds what he’s been looking for all along.
Hope.
The one thing stronger than his fear.
“Yoongi! And Hobi hyung! You guys made it!” Jimin practically barrels into Yoongi as Jhope closes the door behind the two of them. Laughing like a maniac, Jimin squeezes Suga so tightly that it's hard for him to pry him off.
“Seriously Jimin, you saw me just yesterday, you act as though it’s been years.” Suga sighs, placing his backpack in one of the many chairs in the meeting room as Jimin pouts. Jhope chuckles at his expression, rubbing his hair affectionately before following suit.
“It feels like it’s been years! Have you forgotten that we only got back a few weeks ago? I’ve missed our hugs--” Yoongi places his hand expertly on Jimin’s face, stopping him as he moves in for another hug. Growling, Jimin gives him a glare and Suga raises his eyebrow.
“What was our deal about hugs?” Jimin pulls away at the ultimatum and dramatically deflates into the chair next to Yoongi as he sarcastically recites the “deal”, deepening his voice and flattening it as much as he can in order to match Suga’s.
“One free hug a day...any other extra will cost you.” While Suga rolls his eyes, he can’t help but crack a smile as everyone else in the room laughs along and Jimin sits up in the chair, chuckling to himself at his great impersonation. Well...great in his eyes. Shaking his head, Yoongi looks around at the room, smiling at the familiar faces he finds meeting his own.
There’s Jin, who hasn’t stopped laughing, his unique laughter carrying through the room, half hurting everyone’s ears, and half bringing them joy and happiness. Yoongi always forgets that it’s actually possible to miss that strange windshield laugh.
There’s Taehyung who sits next to Jin and rolls his eyes a bit at how hard he’s laughing, before chuckling softly to himself in quiet happiness. Yoongi still can’t believe that there was ever a time he didn’t cherish Tae as much as he does now.
There’s Hobi who has just settled into a chair right next to Yoongi and laughs that contagious laugh that strikes hope and joy into even the darkest of hearts. Suga still remembers when that laugh first entered his life.
There’s Jimin who has just tackled Suga into another hug before dancing away and laughing almost manically. Yoongi lets him off the hook, smiling softly to himself because if he were being really honest...he would want those hugs every day of his life.
Then there’s Namjoon, the one who watches over them all, a small but distant smile present on his face. As Yoongi raises his eyes to him, he can’t help but feel a bit of nostalgia.
His first friend.
His best friend.
Perhaps the only one who could understand him and yet…
He always seems so far away.
Namjoon, as though feeling Suga’s gaze on him, slowly flickers his eyes over to him and is startled by what he finds.
He sees the darkness shrouding his dear friend's mind. He sees the cry for help. His heart pounding with worry and trepidation, he bravely meets Suga’s deep conflicted eyes and tries to pick them apart, solve them as though they were a problem only he could untangle. He hasn’t seen this face for so long, he hasn’t seen this kind of fear in his friend before. His chest constricting, he almost wants to hold onto Yoongi and hold him tight in his arms until he makes everything better.
As though it were his job to make everything better.
His brow crinkling with concern, he opens his mouth in order to address him, but an outburst from Taehyung who is looking out into the hallway cuts him off and the connection is broken. Yoongi almost immediately looks away, leaving Namjoon to continue to stare at him, in deep thought.
"Where's Jungkookie? Why is he so late?" Tae is asking as he leans back in his chair to stare out the see-through glass that encases them inside the meeting room. Jimin, coming up behind Tae, almost makes him fall as he pushes the chair down so that Tae meets his eye.
"Wha…" Taehyung begins but Jimin cuts him off.
"That's rich coming from you Mr. MickeyD." Jimin snorts at the reference to the soaked bags Tae brought as a peace offering yesterday, before letting go of his chair and leaving Taehyung to teeter slowly to a stop. Jin, picking up on the let's tease Taehyung memo nods and leans forward in his chair as though invested in the conversation.
"Yeah, where were you yesterday? You took an hour to get here TaeTae…" he coos, reaching forward to touch his hand but Tae pulls away grimacing. Jin laughs before pulling away and Namjoon rolls his eyes, ignoring the small smirk growing on his face.
"Stop it guys, he was helping Yen, my new assistant manager." Namjoon explains as he pulls out his phone to check any new notifications. "She fell during the afternoon rush in the lobby yesterday and hurt her ankle. Tae was helping her to the hospital. That's why she's not coming in today."
At that comment, Jimin's face goes a bit cold, and he glances at Tae in the corner of his eye. Tae nods frantically in agreement to Namjoon's statement almost as if he were clearing his name, and Jimin can't help but feel a pang of disappointment.
Tae used to tell him everything…
So why does Namjoon know this and he doesn't?
It wasn't that hard to explain...he would have understood...so why?
Why couldn't Taehyung talk to him instead of having to turn to RM?
Tae swallows hard to see if they all believe him, his heart pounding a bit fiercely in his chest. That was partly the truth...but Namjoon doesn't know the whole story. Nervously glancing at Namjoon in the corner of his eye, he can't help but fidget a bit.
The only way he was able to keep Yen home was to get the all clear from RM. And in order to do that...he had to tell him that you were hurt. And so that's exactly what he did...it just wasn't entirely the truth.
Looking down at his hands, he holds them tightly, faintly remembering how your hands felt in them. If he told Namjoon about what happened, who knows what he would have thought? Besides, Taehyung doesn’t want to tell anyone about that day. He doesn’t know why, he has nothing to hide but…
It's almost as if he mentions it to someone else…
It’ll become theirs and not his.
“In any case, we’ve been waiting long enough...where’s BangPD anyway?” Suga wonders quietly, not bothering to hide the frustration in his tone.
“Good morning to you too, Yoongi.” At the voice, the 6 of them freeze, and slowly turn toward the door, which was closed once before, but now occupies three significant figures. Suga tries hard not to wince, but as he meets BangPD’s dark eyes, he can’t help it. The other members seem to shrink due to the tension rising in the room as the door closes behind the newcomers. This isn’t exactly a situation they would like to be present for.
“Jungkook!” Jhope cries as he scans the three faces, and sure enough there he is standing attentively behind BangPD. He smiles a bit as Jhope calls his name, and waves to them but when BangPD walks into the room, Jungkook follows closely behind. The third figure, a tall and slender woman, closes the door behind them.
Namjoon glances towards her a bit curiously, trying to place where he may have seen her before. As she sits in a chair near to the door, a reasonable distance from the rest of the others, she glances towards him as well. As their eyes meet, Namjoon barely has time to notice the small flecks of gold circling in her brown eyes before she looks quickly away. Raising his eyebrow, he shrugs before turning to BangPD who is setting down a few papers and documents in the head chair of the meeting room.
“Sir, what exactly is going on? Why did you ask Jungkook to text us all to meet here? Is it something to do with the album?” BangPD smiles at Namjoon’s quick wit as the rest of the members glance at each other a bit confused. He’s the only one who figured out that BangPD was the one behind that strange text last night. Sitting down, BangPD meets Namjoon’s stern but curious eyes, trying to pick apart the complexity hidden behind their depths.
“The reason is simple. We needed to confer with you 7 as shareholders in the company.” Taehyung sits up from his once relaxed position at the sentence, turning attentively towards BangPD-nim. He glances toward Jungkook to try and read his expression, but Jungkoook avoids his gaze. What exactly are the two of them planning?
BangPD nods to the woman sitting attentively in the back and she nods back, pulling out a computer and walking to the head of the table. She opens it and begins connecting it to the stereo system. Yoongi crinkles his brow at the curious setup. Once the woman is finished, she nods toward BangPD before heading back to her seat next to the door.
“Before we can do that however...there’s something you need to hear.”
With that, BangPD presses play and once more...your voice fills the room.
It instills a hush over each of them. Each one of them, even the woman in the back, is visibly affected by the emotion in your voice. The soulful pain that you carry through each note you sing takes them to a world which only they can see; drives them to emotions they have never felt before.
Jin goes completely still, trying his hardest to hold back the tears which are threatening to spill over and wet his cheeks. He wants to hurt whoever made you feel this way. Whoever made you sing like this...as though you were crying out for help.
Jhope’s expression is blank, completely out of character for him. But he can't help it. At the sound of your voice, he is unable to keep the mask up for any longer. It falls, shows everything underneath, shows what he really hides behind his smile. He can hardly feel it as the single tear runs down his cheek.
It takes all Jimin has not to break down into tears right then and there. He stares at the computer as though that would help him reach you. Help him to erase the pain that has affected you deep inside. As though he could erase in you what he could never erase in himself.
Yoongi has closed his eyes, leaning his head back in the chair he sits in. As though if he were to open them, the voice would disappear and the beauty he sees behind his eyes would go with it. As though it's the only anchor keeping him from completely fading away.
Namjoon finds himself searching through his mind, trying to figure out where he’s heard this voice before. Where he’s felt this kind of pain, this deep level of sadness and insecurity. Trying to remember why he can find some familiarity in it. Why he feels as though he’s home and safe.
Taehyung is petrified. He’s heard this voice before. He has it saved safely in his pocket at this very moment. He helped the owner of this voice home the other day. He can still feel her touch on his skin.
Frantically, he glances toward Jungkook once more. How was he able to get this recording? Was he there? And if he was…
Then was that moment Taehyung shared, that one break in time where he could only see you, that one moment where he knew, he just knew that you were perhaps the only one who could truly understand him…
When he couldn’t understand himself…
Did it mean nothing at all?
Jungkook smiles to himself now as he sees the room which is alight with your voice. As he sees the way they change, the way they are affected, how it seems as though they have been healed with the sound, the beautiful world which your voice brings to each one of them. When he sees the way your voice alights in them a new fire, a new flame unable to be doused, he sees the true purpose behind your voice behind you.
A light that was meant to be shared.
As the song ends, though he’s sad to see it go, this time he’s sure that he’ll hear it again.
That he’ll hear you again.
In the silence, the ones who remain have a hard time coming back to themselves. It's as though they are wandering in the dark, now that the world they were able to see has disappeared. Almost as though they had forgotten how to live, how to breathe without that utopia in their mind.
But the main thing is that suddenly, all at once…
They felt as though they had been healed.
Even if it was only for a moment.
“Her name is Yen.” BangPD’s voice breaks through the fragile silence, catching everyone’s attention, including Jungkook. Clearing his throat, Bang Sihyuk opens your file, passing it forward on the table. Everyone is able to see your ID picture, where you were born, your current number, your family members, your current address...even your social security number. It’s all there, for each of them to see and to immediately know…
“She has recently been hired as Namjoon’s assistant in Jaejin’s absence.” BangPD explains, but this is something they already know. They share a look with each other, recognizing that this is the same girl who brought a smile on their face yesterday.
“Now that you have heard her voice, let’s get down to business.”
The same girl who was hours late for her first day.
“The real reason I called you all here is because we need to make a decision.”
The same girl who turned Namjoon into a frantic mess.
“A choice that may make or break this company.”
The same girl who turned Jungkook into a dumbstruck teenage boy.
“A choice that involves this voice, that involves Yen.”
The same girl who helped Taehyung find himself...even for a little while.
“As shareholders for this company this affects each and every one of you.”
Though the rest may not have met you...they all saw the picture.
“I called you here today to ask you…”
They saw in you the same charming girl that everyone else had seen throughout the day.
“If the 7 of you would agree to signing this girl on as a trainee for our company.”
The one behind this voice.
Is the same girl who tried to stuff an entire bowl of salad in her face.
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𝔫𝔬𝔱𝔢: crazy crazy
chapter 23 here
check the Infinite Stars masterlist for more chapters
check my BTS masterlist for other BTS content
check out my masterlist for other kpop fanfics
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Chapter 1
(Probably)
Nicolas opened the door to the Pet shelter. He always got goosebumps from the cages filled with broken people: Pets. But this time he needed to see his friend urgently.
"Liam?" He called out.
Some of the Pets huddled towards the back of their cages, some went limp, and some didn't react.
A brown-haired man approached him with a smile.
"Hey Nick! Haven't seen you around lately. Liam's out of town but if its important, I can forward a message."
"Ben! Yeah, I've got a lot of work to do. Can you tell Liam to call me when he can?"
"Sure thing man."
The two men stopped to watch as a plumb man dragged in a small, black-haired girl on a leash. A Pet. Ben put on his customer's smile and went to greet him. Nicolas couldn't seem to take his gaze off of the girl. He'd never seen a Pet this terrified. She was shaking on her knees, staring at the ground, breath hitching.
Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Ben gesturing for him to go over.
"Hey Nick? Can you take it with you for a few days. A week or two at most. We don't have enough room for it here." Ben asked.
His cold mask was getting sloppy so he quickly agreed, not really listening, concentrating on keeping his face emotionless as they exchanged papers. He took the girl's leash from the man's chubby fingers and walked out the door, pulling her with him.
At first he almost had to drag her but after the third corner, she walked exactly one step behind him on his left hand side. Like a good Pet should.
As they arrived home, Nicolas quickly took the girl's collar off, along with the leash. Angry red marks greeted him and he fought to remain expressionless.
"My name is Nicolas. What's yours?" He asked.
"You can call me anything, Master." She whispered.
"Call me by my name." He ordered.
"Yes, Master Nicolas." She flinched.
He fished out the papers from his pocket and scanned them, looking for a name. Nope. No name.
"Alright then. I'll call you Mekra. Is that okay?"
The girl seemed to lighten as she nodded, still looking at the floor. Nico sighed. That seemed to frighten her though so he ordered her up. She was short. Like, really short, and thin. She only barely came up to his shoulders. Her black hair hung loose just below her shoulder blades in a tangled mess.
"Alright follow me, I'll show you around."
The girl obediently followed her new master around the house, nodding every time he showed her a room. Finally, they arrived at the bathroom.
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"I want you to clean yourself up. I'm going shopping so I'll be back soon." Master told his pet.
It nodded. Is this a threat? "I'll be back soon" Master had said. Master left and pet still stood there like the stupid thing it was. "Clean yourself up." Master's words echoed in its head. But- surely Master didn't mean the bathroom. But Master hadn't shown pet its place. Pet decided to risk it. It wouldn't have time to find where it can clean itself anyway and Master would be mad.
Pet turned the shower to cold, not wanting to waste Master's warm water. It hurried as much as it could, washing its hair and body with only water. After it was finished, pet looked around for something to dry itself with. Not Master's towel of course. That would result in a good beating. Finding nothing safe, pet decided to wait until it dried. It had been in a similar situation before so it can endure it again.
A knock at the door had pet leaping out, almost slipping on its wet feet, scrambling to open the door and kneel at Master's feet.
"Ah I see you washed your hair too. Good. Here, I bought you a towel. Dry yourself and meet me in the kitchen, okay?"
Why did Master ask pet? Pet nodded on instinct. Something dry landed in front of it, and it flinched away, silently cursing at itself. It was a pale red towel but it was the first thing pet has ever owned. Pet couldn't really process it. It can't own something! Its just a pet. Pets can't own anything! Master nudged the towel towards pet with his foot and pet took the towel, scrambling to dry itself as Master left.
The towel was soft. The softest thing pet has touched in a very long time. And it was pet's? Yes! No, it can't be. Its just a trick. Master wants to punish pet later for using Master's things? Pet's thoughts were interrupted by Master suddenly appearing in front of it with a big shirt. He stuffed the shirt into Pet's hands, ordering it to put it on. But pets aren't supposed to wear clothes! Especially not Master's clothes!
_____________
The girl slowly reached out with a shaking hand.
Come on. Just take it already!
She slowly pulled it over her head, glancing up at the tall man.
"Good. I have lunch ready. Come on." He told her.
__________
And here is my first attempt at posting my writing lol
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artsyxloner · 3 years
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Not Just a Monster
Warning: None
15. Running out of supplies
We were running out of water, that's what Eun-Hyuk told me, there was a small Secret group meeting We had. I was Currently in the Storage room packing and dividing the rations.
With Ji-Su, Jae-Heon, Eun-Hyuk's and Hyun-Su he was finally able to come out and Socialize with others. I was happy he didn't have to stay Cooped up in that small room.
Coming out from the closet I saw Ji-Soo carrying a pack of water bottles it must have been heavy because she looked like she was in pain. And her face was more Paler now than before.
Going over I picked them up for her, this time I asked, I was getting concerned. " are you okay?" I whispered, laying the water down. She was caught off guard by the question.
" Pardon?"
I stopped at what I was doing, " I know there something wrong you should tell someone." We packed food and other Essentials, putting them in small crates and boxes. " I'm fine plus if there was something wrong no one will be able to help-"
She was interrupted when someone busted in through the door. It was Seung-wan he started to yell, getting angry. " Stop!" We all looked up at him.  Has he gone nuts already?
" did you think I wouldn't notice if you guys, ran away?"  I raised an eyebrow, we aren't Secretly running away, where did he hear this from?
Eun-Hyuk and came in, as did the other guys. " give me my share!" He ran towards Jae-Heon grabbing the food he was holding. Trying to take it away from him. " Fuck I can't trust anyone anymore!"
He screamed out like a mad man, Jae-Heon grabbed him trying to calm him down. " clam down, let's talk!" But Seung-Wan pushed him against the glass Freezer. " don't touch me!!" He pulled out a box cutter knife pointing it Jae-Heon's neck.
My eyes widened thinking he was going to cut him. " I'm not going to die here like this! I'm going to leave here by myself!" He then pointed it at Eun-Hyuk I started to walk forward but Hyun-Su grabbed my hand and shook his head.
"  give me the car keys." He pushed something pasted him it hitting the wall getting closer to Eun-Hyuk with the knife. " Give me the car keys you asshole! Give me the car keys you son of a-" he screamed, his hand shaking with the knife.
He was about to get cut Eun-Hyuk but was stopped by Sang-Woo. He pulled him away and punched him straight in the face. He fell, groaning in pain, but he grabbed him pulling the mad man up.
Dragging him away, I should have been shocked by what I just saw but in this world it was normal I wasn't Surprised but we humans shouldn't act like this towards each other, we should at least have some common courtesy.
Following them Seung-Wan was on the floor. " why don't you go out there then?" Sang-Wook Insisted, Seung-wan started to scream like crazy. " you don't know how it feels. To have your life and someone else's hands!!"
" what are you doing?" Gil-Seob came in to view. " do you want the kids seeing this?" He questioned, I turned my head to them. " Who cares what the kids see you're not? We're all going to die anyway!!" It all got quiet for a moment.
We all were staring at him until Gil-Seob began to walk towards him. " No... not all of us will." He crouches down to Seung-Wan level. " people who act stupid As you do. Just because they're afraid are the ones who die first!"
He then slapped his knee, " get a grip, and more importantly Take care of your own life." He told him the guy looked like he was about to cry. After that, it was silent and very awkward.
Like the air was on thin ice if you stepped on it, it could break at any given moment. Everyone then began to leave because of it. But before I went, I hadn't realized I was holding Hyu-Su's hand the entire time.
It was Firmly gripped in mine. Did Hyun-Su know we were holding hands? I mean it's not that hard to Acknowledge plus he was holding it tight. Taking a glance at him his eyes were peering down at our interlocked fingers.
A blush formed on his cheeks, eyes wide and big. Letting go, I was kinda embarrassed. He looked up my way, but I left before he could say anything. My stomach was feeling queasy like I needed to throw up.
I knew why though I was getting feeling for Hyun-Su and it was too many feelings for my stomach to handle. I said that I should live life but it's hard when you don't know when you're time is up and that you're gonna turn into a monster anytime soon.
Going to the bathroom, I splashed water on my face, trying to calm myself down. I can like him right? Even though we were both infected he just didn't know it yet. Is it worth it though, I would just end up getting my hopes up? 
Why is this so complicated, I grumbled.  Knowing liking someone in this Situation leads to trouble and never turns out good. When I was done having a two-sided conversation with myself I went back into the day-care-Center to clear my head.
But Eun-Hyuk stopped me, " I need to talk it's important." He insisted, Motioning for me to follow him we walked into the office and I saw, Gil-Seob and Du-Sik. What were they doing here?
" We need more supplies," Eun-Hyuk began, " food is running sort so is the water as you know it's Been Contaminated we need to get outside resources." He said this writing it all on a Chalkboard.
" first Mr. An has been scouting out the area to make sure it's safe for the person that goes out, Mr. Han is fixing the car and Reinforcing it. And Lastly Soo-Nico you will go out and get the supplies we need."
He explained as if the others already knew about this and volunteered me for the job. " I'm not doing this to use you Soo-Nico you are the best chance we have out there." He said as if I was the only one to do it.
I guess I was the only one able to do the job since I knew were every monster out there, including their whereabouts, how they kill, and how to escape if necessary.
Thinking it over, it was for everyone's survival including mine. So I agreed to it, not seeing I had a choice either. We all made our way to the Day-Care-Center telling everyone we were having a meeting.
I sat in the left corner of the room on a desk. While everyone piled in, seeing Hyun-Su he sat next to me on a stool. Things were still kinda awkward soon we didn't say anything to each other.
Soon Eun-Hyuk brought in the chalkboard I saw just a few moments before he stood in front of it, " we need to Venture outside, we only have five days' worth of food. We'll search the Convenient store first."
He told us, good for him I know a store that still tons of food. " isn't too dangerous?" Jae-Heon, questioned, well yes it was. " we've been preparing, Mr. An has scouted out the area And Mr. Han is working on the car." He explained.
" Hang on there, four eyes who's going then, I mean are we going to draw straws?" Byeong-ll wondered, wanting to know who will go out.
" it's an important mission only Who is likely to succeed will go and knows what it likes out there." He finished, they didn't have to guess they all knew. " Soo-Nico will go out there with her experience."
Everyone's eyes landed on me, including Hyun-Su. " but didn't she get caught up in that spider web?" Someone I didn't even know the name if asked. Eun-Hyuk nodded, " Yes but she got out on her own."
He defeated me, which I was shocked by. Soon the meeting was over and they all left, telling me good luck. I didn't expect it though. Going back outside, I don't know if I was ready?
" So you're going out there?" Hyun-Su spoke, it Startled me when he did. Getting over my mini heart attack I told him yeah. "I'm the only one so who else?" I laughed
I was expecting him to but he wasn't. His face was blank. " but do you want to?" As if he read my mind a few minutes ago, I didn't but there are some things you have to do. " I wouldn't do it if it wasn't necessary but it is." And it was, but Hyun-Su seemed to understand.
" Just be careful."
I smiled, " sure, whatever you say." I was happy he was genuinely concerned, but he shouldn't be, leaving him alone I walked out but saw Ji-Soo running to the restroom she was sweating badly, and she looked deadly pale.
Clutching her side, I knew something was wrong. Going after her, she was banging on the only working stall door. " hurry up, you're still not done?" She was bending over in pain Groaning.
Eun-Yoo was in the stall. She began to talk but there was a short pause. " –yeah I need more time." She said making her wait on purpose. Shaking my head I went over there.
Grabbing the doorknob I shook it violently. " hey open up she needs to go in there it's urgent!" I demanded, hitting the door. Ji-Soo wasn't looking so good.
" that's too bad for her, she should have come yesterday if it was so urgent." I couldn't believe her words, " Hey, do you have a death wish!!" I threatened, " what I'm using the bathroom to survive, you know." I rolled my eyes she didn't understand the situation.
" Hey, Eun-Yoo hey! Hurry up! Come on." She banged on the door. Leaning against it, like she couldn't keep herself up. I have enough of this bullshit. " Eun-Yoo! Open the door right now, she in pain." I heard her sign from the other side.
" I would be careful how your talking to me don't want a little Secret to get out." She laughed, Just as I said that she fell to the floor.
I let out a scream, moving next to her, " Ji-Soo?! Ji-Soo?!" I shook her trying to get her to wake up. Soon Eun-Yoo came out, staring at her she gazed over letting out a small scream.
She ran over, " Hey, what's wrong? Come on wake up!" Now that she was on the floor pasted out did she care? " are you turning too? Because you couldn't take a shit?"
She shook her harder, " Hey, wake up, Yoon Ji-Soo. W he acts wrong wake up!!" She cried, screaming, I was too tears fell my cheeks not knowing if she was dying or not.
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polaris-one · 11 months
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Most Productive Time Management coaching tips
If you're like most people, you probably have a lot of responsibilities on your plate. You might work full-time, have kids at home or both. It's not easy to balance everything in life and still feel like you've got time for yourself. It can be even harder to stay productive throughout the day when there are so many distractions around us! That's why so many people look for productivity coaching tips: they want guidance on how to make their days more efficient and get more done in less time. Here are some of my favorite strategies:
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Stop checking email first thing in the morning.
When you wake up in the morning, your mind is full of fog and your body needs a few moments to warm up. Your first task should be to start your day with some form of exercise or movement--even if it's just taking a quick walk around the block.
Next, take some time for yourself: make coffee or tea (or both), drink it slowly while reading something inspirational or informative, and enjoy those few moments of quiet before starting your day.
Limit your number of tasks.
The first thing you need to do is set your priorities. What's important and what isn't? Are any of these tasks truly urgent, or are they just things that you want to get done? It's easy to get caught up in the idea of being productive, but it's even more important that we prioritize our time so that we can be effective. Once you have your priorities straightened out, it will be much easier for us as coaches and mentors to help guide your efforts towards those goals which have been deemed most important by yourself (or whoever else may be involved).
Next up: breaking down tasks into smaller steps! This may seem like a no-brainer at first glance--but trust me when I say there are many ways in which people go about this step poorly without realizing it until later on down the road when their projects aren't going according to plan. For example: let's say someone has decided their top priority is becoming healthier by exercising more often; however upon further examination after setting some goals around working out regularly there seems like there might not actually be enough time every week between working full-time hours plus commuting back home after work every day before getting ready for bedtime rituals such as brushing teeth or changing clothes etcetera...
Focus is the key to productivity.
To be productive, you need to focus on one thing at a time. Don't try to do two or more things at once. This is called "multitasking," and it's not effective because you're actually wasting time switching back and forth between tasks instead of completing them in succession. If there are multiple projects that need your attention, schedule them into separate blocks of time so that you can give each project 100% focus during its designated block of time (and avoid distractions).
Be attentive throughout this process; don't let yourself get distracted by other things going on around you or in your head! When working on something important (like finishing up an article), don't let interruptions take away from your concentration--turn off notifications if possible and close out applications like email so they don't pop up while working on something else (or use an app like StayFocusd). If someone comes over to ask questions about something unrelated but urgent-sounding enough that they won't leave until getting answers right now... well then maybe just answer their question quickly before returning back again later when finished up with whatever task at hand was most important right now anyway :)
Don't try to multi-task.
Multi-tasking is a myth. When you try to do too much at once, you can't focus properly on any one thing and your productivity suffers as a result. Instead of multi-tasking, focus on one task at a time and then move on to the next one when it's done. This will help ensure that the tasks get done efficiently and effectively so that when you finish them all, there's no need for any last minute rush jobs before their due date!
Use Pomodoro technique.
The Pomodoro Technique is a time management method that breaks down your work into intervals of 25 minutes, followed by a five-minute break. The idea is to focus on one task for the entire 25 minutes and then take a short break before starting another Pomodoro.
The key to this technique is using a timer (like an egg timer or an app) to keep yourself accountable for how long you're working on each task, so that no matter what happens throughout the day, you'll always know if your productivity has been compromised by distractions or procrastination.
There are many ways to apply this technique: some people like having 4 Pomodoros in one day while others prefer just 2 or 3 per day. Some people also prefer using it as their main way of getting things done; others use it only when they really need help focusing on something specific (like writing).
Write down your goals and review them every day.
In order to achieve your goals, it's important to have a clear picture of what they are. If you don't know where you're going, it will be difficult for others (and yourself) to help guide and support your progress along the way. The first step in becoming more productive is deciding what needs improving in your life and work-related tasks, then setting concrete goals based on those improvements.
Reviewing these daily or weekly will keep them top-of-mind so that when opportunities arise for self-improvement or achieving new things at work, they won't slip past unnoticed!
Have regular screen breaks, but don't work in short spurts of time.
The most productive time management coaching tips are to have regular screen breaks, but not work in short spurts of time.
While it may be tempting to work on your project for an hour or two and then take a break, this isn't the best way to get things done. Working in short spurts of time will only make you feel more stressed and exhausted throughout the day because it's not a sustainable way of working that allows you to focus on what matters most: completing projects and tasks with ease!
Instead, try working for longer periods of time--at least 15 minutes--with regular breaks throughout each session (for example: every 45 minutes). This will help keep up your energy levels while also preventing burnout from overworking yourself too much at once; plus there's no need for excuses like "I'm just going out for lunch" or "I'll take five minutes now." You can just tell them straight up: "I need some space right now."
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Polaris One is a time management coaching service that helps entrepreneurs and executives manage their time more effectively. We offer coaching and workshops to help you get more done in less time, so you can enjoy the freedom of working on projects that truly matter to you.
Polaris One provides an entrepreneur coaching services. We help you take control of your time and get more done in less time. We do this through our unique approach to coaching, which is based on a combination of science and art.
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fakeloveaskblog · 2 years
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They miss you lots and lots, h e a p s, and love you! Uh-as a friend? Maybe, they sounded unsure but I will not assume. In summary, you looked amazing, anything important this month and they can't message. We, the ghosts and other creatures/people/floating things will send messages between you and Remy because you guys can't really talk much for a while while they,,,recover. By the way, How's it going with Janus? 🕸🐌 -2/2
 Janus and Remus were still sitting stunned after hearing Remy's voice. When he heard you say that Remy was missing them Janus couldn't stop himself from blurting out a
"We miss them too!" His voice cracked a bit in the middle. It felt so urgent. Like there was a scratch under his skin that wouldn't go away until he knew they knew how loved they were.
Remus sat quiet with his head in his hands. He'd gotten another headache. He couldn't admit Remy was being abused. Then that would mean that he- There were too many similarities between them. It felt like his brain was banging against his skull.
Janus clasped their hands together "Thank you creatures, I would be in a much worse state if I didn't know you at least had contact with them"
They looked over to Remus. He was mumbling something to himself. He didn't seem to be in the right state to send a message back to Remy so they thought maybe they could do that on their own. They took a deep breathe while thinking of what to say.
"...Okay...So....Creature...Could you please tell Remy- from the both of us- that we miss them and we love them as well. We really really want them to get better soon but please don't feel bad for making us worry. We would worry either way. We love them so of course we will worry as long as they are in any sort of pain"
Janus stopped. That was a good start right.
"And...And just so they know me and Remus are going to a planetarium this weekend and then on the 5th of december we're going to Remus' place to celebrate Hanukkah and they are invited to both of those...I...I am aware that they're probably too sick to come...and I really wish they weren't....But I need them to know that we will keep inviting them even if they can't come until they have recovered....I need them to know that we will wait for however long they need to....there is a life outside of Vi- the sickness and it is still waiting for them...it will always wait for them...they are never alone in this....they will always have other options than staying sick....And I would do Anything to help them recover sooner...Anything...I miss them..."
A tear was rolling down their cheek as they repeated.
"I miss them"
They quickly wiped the tear away.
"I think that's all I wanted to say for now. If you could tell them that it would be very kind of you. Remus do you have anything to add?"
Janus hadn't actually expected him to respond but his head suddenly reared to look at him.
"Tell Remy they need to get locks. I have been to their apartment. I know none of the doors there have locks. They N E E D to install locks on at least one of their doors. They have to"
"Okay. Well I suppose that is reasonable advice. Goodbye then creature. Good luck on your trave-"
That garbage noise mixed with demonic whispers returned before he could finish his sentence. It was so loud it nearly hurt to hear. The scratchy voice once again got out that it was a message for the two of them before the message actually played.
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Janus heart was beating out of his chest when he heard their voice saying I love you again. He knew he loved them much much more than a friend. of course he did. But it was in moments like this all of that love went back to slamming him right in the face with the sheer force of how much he loved them. It left him winded. Like he was laying on the ground being beaten.
It felt a bit silly that he teared up over something this simple, he’d heard them say I love you before after all, but when he looked over to Remus his eyes were also filled with tears.
“I- I hadn’t realized how much I had uhm grown used to having them around. It feels like someone has strapped my hand to a chair and pulled out each of my nails before chopping off one of my fingers. And now I just gotta live my life without one of my fingers all suddenly” Remus got out, his voice weak.
Janus just nodded “....Yeah.....Exactly...”
“...Do you think they feel the same without us?”
Janus didn’t have a response to that. Not an honest one at least.
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