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dekusbrokenarms · 4 years

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Class 1-A Gender and Sexuality Journey Headcanons

This is mostly just me really liking messy self discovery because I am a messy bitch.

Kyoka Jirou

First off, Kyoka is a trans girl. She socially transitioned when she was really young and began medically transitioning in high school bc her parents are super supportive and great (we stan a supportive parent)

She first thinks she's bi when she's 14 and comes out as such at 15

She dates Kaminari for a while second year and after they break up she's pretty certain she's a lesbian

After high school, she has a couple years where gender is kinda nebulus. For a while thinks she's a nonbinary lesbian but then decides she's just GNC and punk but definitely full girl

She gets more comfortable in her gender after that, but starts questioning her sexuality again

And ends up back at bisexual, but like not attracted to dudes. Girls and nonbinary people only please

Also she and Momo reconnect in their mid twenties and hit it off and get married

Denki Kaminari

Denki is completely comfortable calling himself straight up until he's 17

But don't get it twisted, he definitely was already acutely aware he was into dudes

Because wow boys are pretty

But he also just kind of ignores it because OMFG GIRLS

But after his other friends start coming out, he gets more comfortable thinking about his sexuality but doesn't bother labelling it

Specifically he doesn't want to label it because he gets comfortable with it after her starts dating Kyoka and doesn't want anyone thinking he's calling himself not-straight for dating her

But a couple months after he breaks up with Kyoka, he starts fooling around with Hitoshi and like really he's at the point of no return so he just slaps the bi label on himself and goes about his day

Towards the end of third year, he starts playing around with GNC and really vibes with the genderqueer label, but still uses he pronouns because he's used to them

He and Hitoshi break up after graduation and Denki really throws himself into exploring his gender and sexuality

And starts using he and they pronouns and typically dresses on the masculine side of androgynous but with lots of cool makeup

He gives polyamory a shot, but he keeps finding himself feeling like he's third wheeling other people's relationships and decides its not for them

In their late twenties, he and Hitoshi hook up at a reunion party and hit it off. They keep things casual for several months before suddenly they decide to move in together and in a blink of an eye, they're in a legit committed relationship without knowing how it got there but it feels right to them.

Eijirou Kirishima

No flavor for this one. He figured out he was gay when he was 12 and it stuck. His moms are lesbians and support him wholeheartedly.

Katsuki Bakugou

I think Bakugou also grew up with queer people in his life so he was never really in the closet

He was pretty certain he was asexual and aromantic until Kirishima weedled his way into his heart

At 17, he decides that he's probably demi-pansexual and demiromantic but that feels like too much so he just says queer.

This boy knows all the words though. Keeps very up to date with the local and global state of queer communities but doesn't talk about it unless prompted or provoked

At first he was very private about his relationship with Kirishima because it was no one's fucking business but after seeing the rampant homophobia in the hero business, he became very loud and very proud of his boyfriend very fast

Eijirou and Katsuki probably got married at, like, 21 and did not give one shit when people pointed out they were young. And they're together for the rest of their lives so those fuckers can suck it

Mina Ashido

Mina is your classic bisexual disaster and spends her teens and early twenties going between calling herself straight, bi, and a lebsian depending on who she's currently into because this bitch has zero object permanence

She chills out in her twenties though and is comfortable calling herself bisexual at long last

Hanta Sero

Sero is pretty comfortable being straight right up until all his friends come out

He spends a couple months questioning his sexuality before knowing for certain he's straight

But he's that one straight dude that always ends up dating bi and pan girls by complete happenstance

Hitoshi Shinsou

He really does not know what his sexuality is

Sometimes its yes

Sometimes its no

He says queer because he can't be assed to look into any of the microlabels

He just knows he's not straight and that's good enough for him

Momo Yaoyorozu

This girl is a lesbian but trying to convince herself of that was A PROCESS

She denies it for years and years

Its not until after graduation she thinks, but doesn't dare say, she's bi because she tells herself she's "mostly into guys anyway" so "it doesn't really count"

Slowly her percentage shifts away from guys and to girls

She's 23 before she accepts she's a lesbian

But she doesn't come out until she's 28 because she's scared since her parents expect her to end up with a man

Ochako Uraraka

This girl is mostly into guys. Like she's pretty sure she's straight because all the crushes she had so far have been on boys

When she's 18, she starts to suspect she might like girls too but is really too shy to explore that feeling at first

But when she does? Oh boy she will not stop talking about how wonderful and perfect girls are and how unfortunate her attraction to men is because she feels insecure in her validity as a bisexual woman with a preference for men

Tsuyu Asui

Tsuyu has known she's a lesbian since she was 15 and was very comfortable with that

She questioned if she might be bi a time or two but always came back to being gay

She does realize she's an ace lesbian at 18 though but she's also okay with that

Her goals in life are to own a house by a lake with a beautiful wife

Tenya Iida

Tenya is pansexual

Literally he just cannot see why gender would be a factor in choosing a potential partner

He never came out because he was 20 before he realized that this was not the default state and others weren't just being picky by having a different sexuality

And by then, every knew because he made no attempts to hide his partners

He was really stressed at first about it, and asked Tensei why no one ever told him he should be more careful with publicly showing his sexuality but Tensei was just like "we just thought you knew what you were doing, dude. And it looks like it worked out"

Izuku Midoroya

Again, Izuku is too swept up in "nghh girls pretty" to think too much about his sexuality when he's younger

When he gets a crush on Shouto, he doesn't recognize it as a crush at first because it felt so natural and comfortable and he was used to being uncomfortable around people he liked

So he has a crush on Shouto for years before it hits him: Oh I'm not straight

He stays in that nebulous not-straight state for months because he does not have time to deal with that

But once he stops procrastinating his sexuality, he cannot decide if he's bisexual or pansexual or polysexual and he gets super wrapped up in researching microlabels and its super overwhelming

He even questions his gender for a little bit but settles on he's a cis man pretty quickly

He does eventually start dating Shouto and just calls himself gay for a while because it's easier than trying to piece together ten microlabels like he's tempted to do

However after Shouto begins exploring his gender identity, Izuku gets more comfortable just calling himself pan because he realizes that gender never really played a part in who he likes.

Shouto Todoroki

He came out as gay at 14 to piss off his father depsite the fact he didn't actually have any feelings about his sexuality at the time

No he decided he didn't care what his sexuality was. He was gonna be gay.

And he forgot he did that until he was 17 and was like, oh- I should probably figure out my actual sexuality, after being questioned due to his close relationship with Izuku

So he thought about it for about 15 seconds to say, well, I do like Izuku so I'll just be actually gay now

That stuck until after graduation and into his twenties when he started questioning his gender

He figured out he wasn't particularly attached to masculinity or femininity and found comfort in the agender label

They started using gender neutral pronouns and grew their hair out long but that's really all that changed

They came back to their sexuality after that and decided it was just "men"

Izuku tried to be helpful and offered terms like androsexual, but Shouto didn't find them very useful so they like to tell people their gender is no and their sexuality is dude

It gets the point across

Yuga Aoyoma

Okay, so we all know he’s gay

But despite how flamboyant he is, this boy is a closet case

He definitely had a crush on Izuku first year, but he couldn’t handle that yet so he definitely lived vicariously through Ochako’s crush on him

I don’t think he came out until after high school

And zero people were surprised

He probably does drag too

And he’d look fabulous doing so

Kouji Koda

I think Kouji is ace

I don’t think this is a word he had for himself until he was in his mid twenties

He just assumed he was a late bloomer and he’d been told he just had a low self esteem

But he finds the ace community and suddenly everything makes sense and he feels comfortable in his own skin

Once that falls into place, he discovers he’s also aromantic

He ends up having a platonic life partner and they have lots of pets and plants together

Fumikage Tokoyami

Fumikage figured out he’s bisexual when interning under Hawks. Like fuck, he had the most embarrassing crush on this guy who’s aesthetic is so embarrassing

I don’t think he had much trouble accepting that he’s attracted to guys though

Like a demon lives in his head

He’s mostly suffering because he has a crush on his cheerful, friendly mentor

Dark Shadow is very happy about this development because it’s a chance to embarrass him and make him uncomfortable

Fumikage gets renewed interest in being able to control Dark Shadow to shut his whore mouth

Unfortunately Dark Shadows outs him to his mentor

Fortunately Hawks is really cool about it and tells DS to have some chill and doesn’t give Fumikage a hard time about it, but Fumikage doesn’t get invited back for another internship with him and finds himself assigned to do work with sidekicks afterwards

Mezou Shouji

Mezou doesn’t fuck with gender

It’s not that he necessarily feels disconnected from his masculinity but rather that he just feels like gender is archaic and useless

So he’s pan and bigender (male and agender)

Definitely would make jokes about be attracted to frying pans and this is how he comes out to Fumikage in their third year.

Rikidou Sato

Rikidou doesn’t really date in high school

Soon after graduation he ends up in a relationship with a girl that lasts five years before he realizes he’s gay

One time someone tells him he should have known sooner since he likes baking so much and he punches them in the face (I like to imagine this person was Mineta for face punching purposes)

He ends up good pals with the woman he was dating and she’s his maid of honor at his wedding :’)

Tooru Hagakure, and Mashirao Ojiro

I’m sorry if one of them is your fave. They’re both straight and cis and have never questioned it even once.

#bnha headcanons #bakugou katsuki #kyoka jirou #kaminari denki #midoriya izuku #todoroki shouto #kirishima eijirou #mina ashido #sero hanta #uraraka ochako #tsuyu asui #mezuo shouki #rikidou sato #tokoyami fumikage #iida tenya #hitoshi shinsou #aoyama yuga #kouji kouda #lgbt headcanons

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juwon-ah-moved · 3 years

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i’m gonna rant about male privilege as someone on T under the cut

idk if anyone reading this might relate, but i’ve been thinking a lot about male privilege bc im almost a year on T and i “pass” more and more as time goes by (especially if i don’t shave for long and i have actually visible hair on my face) and... it’s weird. i know i’m sort of gaining male privilege, when people see me as male (wouldn’t say a man bc people think i’m 16 at most lmao) they might treat me differently than if they saw me as female. though honestly i haven’t had enough interactions that are long or meaningful enough to determine if the other person or people are treating me differently. anyway yeah i know i’m gaining this privilege (that adds up to my being white) but... it’s so weird bc... i’m not a man? and like i want to pass (tho i HATE the concept of passing) as one, yes, bc that’s the only alternative i have to being seen as a woman, but at the same time it’s still not being seen as who i am. this is so hard to explain but on one hand i’m happy when people perceive me as male bc it means they’re not seeing me as a woman, but it still hurts bc i’m not a man either. it hurts A LOT less, but... it’s tiring, having to make compromises, u know?? and now i’m here asking myself... how do i deal with this when i’m not a man? is it still male privilege? it feels so weird to think of it that way, like i’m misgendering myself, but on a practical level, if a woman sees me in the street at night and crosses the road to avoid me, is it any different than if i was a man, cis or trans? i don’t even know if i would pass in the dark lmao i don’t always pass. but that’s beside the point. i’m thinking a lot about this bc i’m very conscious of how others perceive me in the sense that i try my best not to make anyone uncomfortable. like it hurts to think that someone would see me as a man and therefore dangerous, but it’s also my “job”, for lack of a better term, to be aware of my privileges. idk where i’m going with this really, i just wish 1) i could feel comfortable dressing in... idk, less “manly” ways and be more “ambigous” like i’d like to and 2) being perceived as nonbinary was a thing. i guess u can be seen as androgynous and people might not know what’s ur gender but they’ll still try to figure it out and assign u one lmao okay i’m rambling, bye

#personal

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transsexualhamlet · 4 years

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Trans Headcanons

Ok I’m going to make a giant post about this because it’s one of the few things I can actually address, as a trans person. Obviously I cannot speak as to the opinions and experiences of all trans people, but I’m just gonna give you my take.

So obviously in fandom lots of people like to headcanon characters as trans, and in general I think that’s a fantastic thing as well we’re not exactly swimming in representation. But what comes with cis people tryin to write trans characters is that... things get... problematic. Quick.

Headcanoning male characters as ftm

I am this variety of trans so I get excited when people headcanon ftm but I’m almost always completely disappointed.

First off I need to address the “people” who headcanon male characters as trans ftm for that Spicy Fetishization. This is generally, I’d say... more than half of trans headcanons I come across in fics at least, and in this context is used solely for sexual purposes which is disgusting so stop.

Of course it’s ok to write trans people having sex, because well, trans people have sex, but cis people don’t realize that dysphoria plays a huge part into what people are comfortable with. So just a fun fact I feel like it should be obvious trans guys aren’t gonna want to have sex like they’re a straight female, and trans guys are not all bottoms.

I would also like to address when headcanoning a male presenting character as ftm is good or bad rep completely without the sexual element because cis people seem to have a fundamental misunderstanding of Trans Vibes. I’m gonna use mostly ons examples so hang on tight.

Problematic, bad characters to headcanon as trans-

-Yoichi

-Mika

-Shinya

I see an egregious amout of these, and the pattern for this is somehow, cis girls see a feminine boy and think that they’re a good person to think is trans. No. This is the opposite. These three characters in ons are some of the more feminine guys, and therefore come off as gay, in a cis male way. Trans guys generally do not act like that, and although there are plenty of feminine trans guys, they do not behave like that.

Addressing the problems with people saying Mika is trans- People don’t understand dysphoria. He has always been very feminine, and in the case that he was trans that would just. Not work. You could look at that boy and be asking what gender even is he if you didn’t know, and generally trans guys aren’t for that.

With Yoichi it’s even more ridiculous. He’s one of the worst characters I could think of to view this way, as this pushes the most UwU Soft Boi fujoshi shit onto him. If y’all aren’t aware the fetishising girls really invalidate trans folks by assuming they’re all basically the stereotype of Yoichi- small, awkward, shy, complete pushovers, and just. Nah. Same really goes for Shinya, because though he’s more confident he’s very cis gay guy and making him trans pushes the same “make the more feminine person in a gay relationship trans”. Stop it.

If you had to headcanon someone as ftm in ons I’d say some of your best options would be probably

-Kimizuki.

-Yu (though there are many conditions because he’s a victim of a lot of the fujos in fanfic with this.)

I’m trying to think of more but to be honest, that’s your best bet. If you want to go with someone else, Guren might be ok, it would just be harder to explain.

Kimizuki is the best one out of all of them to be headcanoned as trans because he breaks the problematic stereotypes, and if you think about it would make much more sense than the characters ppl usually say are trans.

He is a character who’s fairly obsessed with presenting masculinity and trying to be the strong one in the group, which is a very trans guy thing to do, and it would be the easiest to explain without going through hoops like characters that have a lot of backstory would. He doesn’t look or act feminine at all, but he has more feminine skills like cooking, and he feels ashamed of those aspects of himself even though he shouldn’t. Those are the kind of things that make someone go “that would be nice rep”. Also his hair is dyed pink, like what cis person does that?

With Yu, I see many more people in fanfic try to use the trans thing for him, and out of the context of shipping I think that’s perfectly fine. He is a very relatable character for ftm gremlins like myself and it’s reasonable to say that, although there would need to be a few adjustments for taking into consideration at one point he would have presented as female, probably during his time in sanguinem. That doesn’t really present any problems if you just adjust accordingly. Guren would be cool with “hey dad i’m a guy” and I think that would be pretty epic. But when taken into the context of, well, mikayuu shipping.

To be frank, most of the trans!yuu fics that exist are straight up just for fujos to go “hey look at this gay bottom he’s trans so he’s basically a girl and watch him act like a girl during sex” stop it. Stop it please.

On trans girls

obviously, I am not a trans girl, and I know like. one trans girl. total. So I don’t have as much insight on this as trans ftm but some of this stuff is just common sense.

First I need to address the obvious, the phenomenon that is apparently such a thing in anime and manga for no good reason. The “this character who has a female voice actor, dresses and acts completely like a girl but is stated as male for some fucking reason” is just... hhhhhhhhhh. I think the only reason these exist is some weird japan fetish but I’m not fond of it. Headcanoning these characters as trans girls is in fact completely fine and I’d encourage it, unless them being male is actually somehow an integral part of the plot.

In the case of Asuramaru, I’d say absolutely go ahead. It makes even more sense with this character because Asura used to go by a different name and dressed much more masculine back in Ye Olde Greek Dayes but now has this demon glow up with a much more feminine look, a literal dress, a crown, hair down to their ass- that’s honestly the most valid thing you could say.

In the case of characters presented as female in canon, it’s much more difficult than trans guys because of how girls are presented in anime and manga. And by that I mean,,, hyper sexualized and misogynistic.

In this case I’d always say ask someone trans before jumping to conclusions. Also be wary of the “this is a masculine girl, she must be trans” because well. Again, masculine trans girls are valid but that can’t be your only reasoning PLEASE. I’ve seen trans Mito before in a fic, and tbh that’s ok, but only if you know what you’re doing with it. It can be explained pretty well with her, since she used to present as hyper feminine and pretty comphet with the guren thing, but she’s calmed down in vampire reign and I think if that has to do with her starting her transition at like 16, that’s totally fine. But that has to be handled with care, and be aware that she’s like. The most masculine girl in the series. She doesn’t wear a skirt like literally every other girl in the show, she uses physical force and her fists to fight instead of a weapon or magic, and she’s extremely headstrong. Although it would be fine if she was trans, those aspects of herself are not what would make her so, since even though it would be epic those things could cause dysphoria.

On nonbinary headcanons

These are significantly less problematic than a lot of other types, since they’re generally made by people who know what the hell they’re talking about. And there’s really no parameters for nonbinary people, so if you see someone who gives off No Gender Vibes go ahead and sprinkle in some they/them!! They don’t even have to look androgynous, though if you see a strictly single gender presenting character and want them to be enby prepare to have some explanations. Good examples of this would be

-near from death note, that gremlin wears nothing but pajamas and proceeds to grow hair down to his ass as an adult, plus the austistic coded bit... we don’t have a concept of gender tbh

-practically any demon from ons but raimeiki or gekkouin, they all just have the best vibes

-Shikama Doji, you think that bitch knows what a gender is??? Got lost in the wings pal

Just be aware of the differences needed between thinking “this person is presented as __ canonly and that is in fact their sex just not their gender” or “this person is trans fem or trans masc but isn’t strictly male or female” because those are different.

Bottom line? Ask a trans person, and don’t write a trans person just for their body.

#owari no seraph #trans #idk what to tag this tbh I don't talk about this stuff all the time #trans ftm #trans headcanons #death note #kind of

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werevulvi · 4 years

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I am gender critical, detransitioning and I do have a bone to pick with the trans community, but I still can't entirely let go of... trans thinking. For lack of better wording. At this point I'm basically trying to hold two different perspectives at once, and they might seem paradoxal, but I don't think they necessarily have to be.

I call those two perspective "sex-based" and "gender-based" and it should be fairly clear what I mean by that, but just in case it isn't: Sex-based refers to categorising men and women and sexual orientations after biological sex, and gender-based refers to categorising men and women and their sexual orientations after each individual's own feelings of gender identity and sexual identity.

I'm gender critical in the sense that I think biology is what determines what we are and it's my understanding that sexual orientation is based on sex. I also think that laws should be based on sex and not gender. However, I do still think there is some sense in that people can still have subjective ideas of gender identity as any other human emotions, which makes me view gender identity as subjective reality. It is real within the minds of those who believe it. It is merely their own interpretations of themselves. Such a thing can never be wrong, in a sense. It can never be proved, but also never be disproved.

I think of gender like that. I believe trans people's genders are true for them, because that's just how they perceive themselves. But then how do I perceive myself?

I perceive myself in both ways. I see that my body is biologically female, and since I no longer have strong feelings of dysphoria about that, I can easily and proudly admit that my biology makes me a woman. As simple as that. But on the other hand, I do have a mind that resides in that female body, and that mind is clearly only half on the same page as my body's original intentions. There is more to me than my biology. The mind, the soul, the consciousness, whatever you wanna call it. That, appears to be what I could describe as androgynous. My androgyny is not just wearing suits and makeup, knitting and playing video games, or whatever arbitrary things we decided to call masculine or feminine... it goes much deeper than that, which should be plain for all to see. My androgyny gave me dysphoria, and is easied with transition.

My detransition is NOT me opting out of transitioning. It is not me saying transition as a whole was a mistake, because it wasn't. What I'm doing is only correcting the mistakes that I did make and then cherish the rest. It was me realising I'm not a man, nor will I ever be male. It is possible I may wanna go back on T one day, at least I'd consider going on a low dose if my hairs start to thin out, to prevent that outcome. I will get a breast reconstruction to "reverse" my top surgery as that was indeed a mistake, and I will get my legal gender marker changed back to female again because I am not male as it states on my ID card, and I don't want to hold onto that lie. You can call it a partial detransition if you will, because I'm still happily transitioned with testosterone and I refuse to "correct" myself after what type of body I'm supposed to have as a woman. Call me an incorrect female, if you will, as I am proudly hairy and deep-voiced.

I'm male-passing. Every day of my life. Because I refuse to "correct" myself and be a typical woman. That is a choice I made and will (most likely) continue to make. It's a difficult choice, but in a sense I also really like it. I like that it allows me to look gnc by adding femininity to my style, instead of masculinity. Because I feel a million times more liberated and expressive now when wearing makeup with my beard, than I ever did before wearing no makeup and growing no beard. I like that I look gnc male because of my femininity, when in fact I'm a gnc female because of my masculinity.

I feel like I need to embody aspects of both femaleness and maleness. My T-spiked femaleness. Facial hair, deep voice, vulva, breasts and hairy curves. Being like that gives me positive feelings. That I'm just right, perfect, beautiful, in harmony with myself. Feelings that I could call a gender, because that's how simple it is. THAT is what gender is. Gender... is whatever you want it to be. And I choose to make it something highly personal, something that is just mine but also not imposed onto anyone else. No specific pronouns or labels required, no special treatment... although more gender neutral bathrooms and locker rooms available would be nice, because I look like a circus.

And yes, I'm aware most people probably either don't feel that gender-feeling, or they just have a different interpretation of their such feelings, and they don't call it a gender. They're simply women because they are female, or men because they're male, or just going about their lives not over-thinking what they are. That is fine. It makes total sense and I don't ever want to infringe upon that. Gender can absolutely be harmful and I agree that society has taken it too far. Way, way too fucking far and we need to back the fuck up. Make gender-segregated spaces sex-segregated again. Make women's rights sex-based again. No males in women's spaces, no dehumanising of women because of their biology, no pretending we don't get socialised based on our sexes, no erasing of sex-based medical and political needs. I am still gender critical, but no, I do not denounce gender as a concept. I'm too much of a hobby philosopher to do anything such, because gender is a highly philosophical thing. I think there is some merit to gender as such, but there needs to be a limit in society. I believe there can be two different definitions of "woman" as long as we know which definition is to be applied to laws, rules and regulations.

And regardless of what I'd choose to call my gender, I'm still a lesbian. Because my homosexuality is based on that my sex is female and that I'm only attracted to other females. That cannot change, and I am proud to be a lesbian.

Thanks to radfem, to my past decade in the trans community, and to still keeping one foot in each camp, I can see it from both sides of the fence now. Because I hold both perspectives at once. And I think that is good, although I'm aware that both camps may hate me for that. Then camp me out, I don't care. I'm a free-thinker, I don't like hivemind thinking. I always need to maintain some kinda balance, even if it takes me long to find it.

It's been my thinking in these past couple of days, that perhaps what I need to do is to embrace both. To honour and embrace both my female sex and my androgynous mind. I am both a woman and I am nonbinary. I've been fighting for a year between those two labels, torn between my sex and my gender. I cannot keep doing that anymore. There is no reason that I should have to scrap one for the other, no matter how much gender critical people tell me I should scrap gender and the trans community tells me I should scrap my sex. No. I won't do either. So that's how I came up with the idea that maybe I wanna call myself a "nonbinary woman" as to label both my gender and my sex in the same breath. "Gender critical nonbinary woman" may seem like a paradox, or a joke, but I'm serious, and I mean it. I'm still considering it, but I needed to ventilate my thoughts on that a bit.

Also, if I again get some nasty message from someone about that I should stay out of the nonbinary tag... please calm down and tell the rest your over-sensitive community to do the same, because I'm one of you now, so it is my tag to use as well. Maybe I want for other nonbinary people to read this. Maybe I want for them too to know that not all nb people are the same fucking cringey monolith. I'm sick of your hivemind too. I'm both a "terf" and nb, so I will be in both communities, whether you like it or not. I believe I have made myself clear, but if there are any questions from either audience, I'll gladly answer them as best as I can.

If you've never heard of a gender critical nonbinary woman before... well, I might just be the first, or there might be others before me, but I hope one day I can light the way for more of us to follow. All I wish is to speak the truth, even if that truth is merely subjective.

#gender critical #sex vs gender #radfem #nonbinary #transgender #personal #gender dysphoria #transition #detransition #perspectives

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enbyleighlines · 4 years

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Would you consider writing Jiang Cheng's response to Nie Huaisang's confession as anpther one of the modern mdzs fics? Maybe with Wen Qing as well since I know she and Jiang Cheng have a relationship too? I cannot get enough of the modern au. I already love the way you write nhs so much and I need them to have a happy ending 😭

Absolutely, my friend! I’m glad to hear you are enjoying them~

—

On the night of his Jiejie’s wedding, Jiang Cheng drives Wen Qing and himself back to his apartment in silence. Both of them are exhausted from the long day, so the lack of conversation isn’t unusual or awkward.

Still, Wen Qing must have sensed something. As soon as they settle in for the night, and Jiang Cheng is about to climb into bed, she speaks up.

“Something on your mind?” She asks, looking up from the book she had been reading. She is marking her place with a finger.

Jiang Cheng knows that if he brushes off her question, that she will simply shrug and go back to reading. She will drop it, and probably not bring it up again. That is just the type of relationship they have. It is casual, surface level... a little cold. They both keep each other at arm’s length, metaphorically speaking. Their bodies can touch but their hearts can not, not for long, not long enough to risk forming an attachment.

Of course, Jiang Cheng also knows that he’s only lying to himself. He has already grown attached. Wen Qing just doesn’t need to know that.

When Jiang Cheng doesn’t immediately answer, Wen Qing folds the corner of the page she is on and sets the book aside. She gives the empty side of the bed a few pats. “Come on,” she says, “Say what you want to say, or forever hold your peace.”

Jiang Cheng rolls his eyes, but sits down beside her anyway. “Nie Huaisang said something to me today,” he begins.

Wen Qing raises a single eyebrow, and waits patiently.

“They... told me that they like me,” Jiang Cheng confesses, trying to keep his voice tight and emotionless.

“Okay?”

“Ever since high school,” Jiang Cheng continues, “Can you believe that? Holding onto a crush from high school that long?”

Wen Qing snorts, but at least she tries to hide it behind her hand.

Jiang Cheng flushes, remembering that he is still harboring a crush on Wen Qing that had begun in high school. God, he can be such a hypocrite!

“Well,” Wen Qing says, “What did you say?”

“What could I say?” Jiang Cheng counters, deflecting by pure reflex. He feels the guilt he had suppressed earlier begin to bubble back up. “I told them... I didn’t know what to think. I mean, they sprung that on me so suddenly! So I said I’d give them a proper answer later, after I’ve thought things through.”

Wen Qing hums. Even as exhausted as she is, she clearly sees where Jiang Cheng is going with this. “And how do you feel about Nie Huaisang?” she asks, knowingly.

“I don’t know,” Jiang Cheng admits. It’s the not knowing that is messing him up, but he doesn’t say that. “I mean, Nie Huaisang... they’re assigned male at birth? I think that’s what they’re calling it these days. And I’m not gay. So I shouldn’t be attracted to them.”

“But you are?” Wen Qing guesses.

“Is that weird? Am I gay now?”

This time, Wen Qing is unable to hold back her laughter. She giggles into her fist, clutching her stomach with the other hand.

Jiang Cheng scowls and waits for her to finish.

After a moment, Wen Qing meets his gaze again. She’s still smirking, though, that little curl at the edge of her lip that drives Jiang Cheng wild. “If anything, you would be bi,” she corrects him, “Unless you no longer find me attractive?”

It’s a dig at him and they both know it. Jiang Cheng shoves her shoulder, and she only laughs some more.

“So we can rule out you being gay,” Wen Qing teases.

“Will you take this seriously?” Jiang Cheng grouches. “Just answer the question. Is it weird, for me to be attracted to Nie Huaisang?”

Wen Qing gives him another smile. This one is genuine, almost fond. “Of course it isn’t weird,” she says, “You might have a slight attraction to men, or you could just find the concept of androgyny attractive. As much as I wish human sexuality was as simple as movies and TV would have us believe, it’s far more complex than that.”

Jiang Cheng considers that. “Is there a word for... being attracted to androgynous people? As well as women?”

“Probably,” Wen Qing answers, “but I don’t know what it is. I find the concept of labels limiting at best and misleading at worst. But if you think it would help, I can do some research for you.”

Jiang Cheng leans back against the headboard. He doesn’t know if it would help. He supposes Wen Qing might be right about the labels thing. Any time they’ve attempted to put a label on the strange relationship they share, it’s only ever ended in heartache. And, on that note, being attracted to Nie Huaisang isn’t Jiang Cheng’s only problem.

“Hey, Wen Qing,” Jiang Cheng murmurs, “Are you... jealous, at all?”

Wen Qing sighs. “You know I’m not a jealous person,” she reminds him, “Why? Do you want me to be jealous?”

He kind of does, but he won’t ever admit it. And it’s not jealousy itself he craves, exactly, just the confirmation that maybe Wen Qing feels a fraction of what he feels for her. That maybe she considers him a part of herself, something she doesn’t want to lose.

Wen Qing sighs again. “We’re not exclusive, either,” she adds.

Jiang Cheng is painfully aware. He spits, “I know.” And then, “But have you actually ever... slept with anyone else? While the two of us have been a thing?”

Silence fills the room. Wen Qing fidgets with the ends of her bangs. “I’m too busy for that,” she deflects.

They’re both living a lie. That much is clear. Jiang Cheng blows out air though his teeth, and attempts to put his temper and ego aside for the moment. “So is it really fair, then, if I ask Nie Huaisang out on a date?”

Wen Qing surprises him. She reaches out and puts her hand over his, lacing their fingers. “C’mon, don’t they say everything’s fair in love and war?”

Jiang Cheng sucks in a breath. It’s the closest Wen Qing has ever gotten to admitting that there is love between them. He gives himself a moment to savor the little victory. And then he says, point blank, “I want to know if you’re okay with me asking Nie Huaisang out on a date.”

“Yes,” Wen Qing answers easily. She gives his fingers a squeeze. “Will you be okay asking them out on a date?”

“I don’t know,” Jiang Cheng admits.

“What’s holding you back? Be honest. Is it the whole gay thing?” Wen Qing’s smirk has returned. “I hope you realize how dumb that sounds to me. I did the whole gay panic thing back in middle school. That’s child’s play to me.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Jiang Cheng finds himself smiling now, too. He remembers that Wen Qing was the first out and proud person he ever met. He remembers her wearing bi pride pins on her backpack, and how she was always the first person to put bigots in their place. She’s always been the strongest and bravest person he knows. He loves her so damn much. He only hopes that one day he’ll find the courage to tell her.

“So what’s really holding you back?” Wen Qing asks.

Jiang Cheng’s grin falls. He feels bad saying it aloud, even if he knows Wen Qing won’t judge him. But he says it anyway. “I’m afraid of hurting them,” he admits, “What if things go great at first, but when it comes to... getting intimate, I freeze up? What if I don’t find them attractive under the makeup?”

Wen Qing squeezes his fingers again. “That’s always a possibility,” she tells him.

“And I know I don’t know shit about being transgender or nonbinary or whatever,” Jiang Cheng continues, “but I heard that being misgendered hurts. And what if Nie Huaisang thinks I’m misgendering them, by not being attracted to them?”

“I don’t know,” Wen Qing says.

That shuts Jiang Cheng up. He looks at her, surprised. “What?” He asks.

“I don’t know,” she repeats. Her expression is so warm, so affectionate. “There are no easy answers, Jiang Cheng. Especially when it comes to matters of the heart. But I think it’s a good sign that you thought so much about this. It’s clear that you care about them. So... I think you should ask them out. You clearly want to.”

“I do want to,” Jiang Cheng confesses. He puts a hand to his chest, and is startled to find that his heart is pounding. When did that happen?

Wen Qing leans over and gives him a peck on the cheek. “So ask them out,” she whispers.

Then, she rolls over, turns off the lamp on her side of the bed, and goes to sleep.

But Jiang Cheng stays awake for a little while longer. He listens to his heart beat, and replays the conversation they just had in his head.

His fears and concerns are still there. But somehow, they feel more manageable.

—

It takes three days for Jiang Cheng to work up the courage.

Finally, he texts Nie Huaisang and asks them to meet him for a morning coffee at a locally owned vegan cafe and bakery. He figures it’d be the kind of place that Nie Huaisang would enjoy.

Jiang Cheng choses a table near a window. It makes him feel a little less claustrophobic. And then he waits.

Nie Huaisang arrives right on time, orders a latte at the counter, and brings it with them to sit in the booth across from Jiang Cheng. The nerves are apparent in every move they make, every little twitch of their fingers conveying intense anxiety.

Jiang Cheng wants to sandwich those fingers between his warm palms, and make them stop trembling.

“Good morning,” Nie Huaisang says. It sounds like they tried to sound nonchalant, but instead they just wind up squeaking on the first syllable.

It’s endlessly endearing. Jiang Cheng rubs the back of his neck. “Hey,” he replies.

Nie Huaisang looks down at their latte, and the foam heart on top. They swirl the spoon, distorting the image. “This is a nice place,” they say, “Cozy, and vintage. How long have you been coming here?”

“This is my first time,” Jiang Cheng answers. He doesn’t want to talk about the cafe! But he doesn’t know how to shift topics smoothly.

“Oh,” Nie Huaisang says. They peek up through their feathered bangs. Today, they’re wearing an oversized striped sweater, almost long enough to be a dress, over some leggings. As always, they look incredible.

Jiang Cheng has long found himself uncomfortably enthralled by Nie Huaisang. Their sense of style is— well, Jiang Cheng doesn’t know anything about fashion, so he doesn’t have the right words to describe it. But whatever it is, it looks good. It looks better than good. Jiang Cheng often avoids looking directly at Nie Huaisang for that very reason. But now that he’s looking, he can’t look away.

Nie Huaisang fidgets nervously, no doubt uncomfortable being under the heat of Jiang Cheng’s stare. “So,” they say, “What... have you been up to?”

It’s obviously not what they had meant to ask. Jiang Cheng suddenly realizes that he’s being a total douche for letting this drag on for so long. And so he blurts out, “I wanted to talk about what we talked about at the wedding.”

Nie Huaisang startles. They avert their gaze, and then ask, “O-oh...?”

“You said you liked me,” Jiang Cheng says, and then wishes he didn’t. Surely Nie Huaisang knew what conversation he was talking about! He berates himself inwardly for a moment, and then continues, “I wanted... to ask you out on a date.”

Nie Huaisang audibly gasps. They put a hand to their mouth a second too late to muffle it. “What...?”

“To the zoo,” Jiang Cheng adds, “Uh, you like the zoo, right? You like animals.”

“I do,” Nie Huaisang confirms. Their voice is so very small. Clearly, they had not expected this outcome. “But... I’m confused. You said... you said you don’t like men?”

“You’re not a man,” Jiang Cheng points out.

That gets a huge smile from Nie Huaisang. It lights up the entire cafe. “I’m not,” they agree, with a breathless sort of glee choking their throat. But then, the smile falls. “But I’m not a girl, either.”

“I know,” Jiang Cheng says. He straightens his spine, and tries to channel a fraction of the courage Wen Qing possesses. “I still think I’m straight, but I want to take you out on a date anyway. Maybe that means I’m not really straight, but right now, I really don’t care. I just want to take you to the zoo. And maybe to dinner, afterwards.”

Nie Huaisang looks like they don’t quite believe him. But they nod. “Okay,” they murmur, “I’d like that.”

#asks #livenarrator #mo dao zu shi #sangcheng #chengqing #drabbles #leigh’s writing #mdzs modern au

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the-entity-down-the-street · 4 years

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Flutterby, Butterfly

Hey everyone, I’m back! I took a break from tumblr for a while, and while I might post less from now on, I figured now was the time to come back. Today I have something a little different. A story I wrote about coming to terms with my gender identity! It’s framed as me having a conversation with my own soul. It’s my hope that someone who has had similar experiences might find comfort in reading it. However, trigger warning, because there is a very honest discussion about my experiences with dysphoria and body problems in general. It’s a bit graphic and anatomical. I’ll put the story under the cut so you can skip it if you prefer. For everyone else, enjoy!

We met somewhere dark. Not dark in the physical sense. Light filtered in through the bedroom window like any normal day. Pale sunshine like pastel prison bars shone through the blinds. I’d been here for weeks. Or months. Who knew anymore?

My friends, save one, had left me for their own homes. Not that I blamed them. This was a dead town without the university’s typical buzzing student body. The lifeblood had been supped dry. Of course, it wasn’t very exciting anywhere else either. We were suffering in the world’s most mundane and boring catastrophe. Locked away in our homes, quietly terrified, numbed in our isolation. This was where we met.

I had been cleaning the gunk off my soul. What else was there to do? After peeling away the rot of old habit, scrubbing away the mold of toxic friendships, and pulling at parasitic thoughts, I thought the work was done.

And yet.

Something was off. Beneath the grime was someone I didn’t want to recognize.

“Hello again,” they said. “Are you done hiding from me?”

“You’re a side-effect,” I told them. My body issues were the last bit of junk to tackle. I thought I’d settled them as I got healthier, but isolation and recent weight gain had done me no favors. “Once I’m back in shape, you’ll go away.”

They sauntered over to the bed and plopped down. Fresh, clean, and naked, they moved like someone who had never known restriction. “Is that so?”

“Of course. I just want to be thin.”

“And flat,” they said, gesturing to their chest. I envied their beauty. Lithe, fit, and androgynous.

I crossed my arms. “Insecurity isn’t an identity. I’ve always hated my boobs.”

“Why do you think that is?”

“I don’t know. They’re flabby. Gross. They don’t fit on me.”

“Would you be happier if they were perkier?”

“I mean—”

They sat up. “Or do you push them out of the way when you look in the mirror, even when you’re skinny?”

My mouth pressed into a hard line. What could I say? Countless timed I found myself squeezing them into my armpits, squishing them against my ribs, blocking them out with my hands. I measured the beauty of my naked body by how I looked without them. Even chubby I’d push them out of the way to feel better about myself. We both knew what they were trying to tell me.

“I’d like to be flat-chested. Big deal,” I said, at last. “Body preference isn’t an identity. I’m still a girl.”

“Is that why you fantasize about having a hysterectomy?”

“Hey, nobody likes their period. It’s messy. It hurts. I get bloated.”

“You get womanly,” they said.

“Ugh, don’t say it like that. That’s just weird.”

They shot me a smirk, like I’d proven their point. “Disgusting, isn’t it? You’re so uncomfortable you barely want to put your clothes on.”

I turned on my heel away from them. “Pads feel like diapers.”

“And tampons are so much worse,” they added. I agreed. That cotton between my legs made me too aware of my own body for comfort. “Remember when you were on the ring? And you could skip your period? Felt natural, didn’t it?”

“Until I got bloated and lost my sex drive.”

“Yeah, that sucked. It was like being hacked from the inside. No wonder you avoided hormonal birth control for so long.”

I had. I even tore up my womb with that copper torture device to avoid it. Part of me hoped it would perforate my walls so the doctors would have to perform a hysterectomy. That didn’t help my case, I realized.

“No, it doesn’t,” they agreed. “Getting your tubes tied was the right choice.”

The right choice. That was one way of putting it. Everyone knew I was staunchly childfree, and I was solidifying that staunchness with a snip. I told myself the two months of euphoria after was just a sense of personal accomplishment. Of freedom. Of finally having bodily autonomy.

I always got a little rush from changing my body. Haircuts, dye, new piercings, tattoos, whatever little modification I could afford to make my body feel like mine. Yet nothing compared to what that surgery did for me. It wasn’t a rush. It was an awakening. It was…

“You. You disconnected from womanhood,” they explained, moving their fingers in a snipping motion. “That’s why it felt so good. Nothing hits like gender euphoria, baby.”

“But I like girly things. Make-up. Jewelry. Pretty dresses.”

“Never said you didn’t. Style isn’t an identity.”

Oh. I faced them, defeated. “Then what is my identity? Where is it?”

They stood up and approached me. Sea green eyes saw straight into me. Because they were mine. “You’re looking at it. Where am I?”

“Inside me.”

“Exactly,” I told myself. “I’m not part of your garbage. I’m not an issue. What am I?”

“…You’re my soul.” The moment I said it, I knew it was true. I couldn’t pull or scrub or peel them away. We were the same, yet not. The disconnect between us was slight, deep only as breast tissue and muscle mass, but it was the root of most of my body issues. It was the unease of unbalance. I wasn’t myself yet.

“There you go.”

“But what does that make me? What am I, if not a woman?”

They smiled at me. A sweet, knowing smile. “If you want an honest answer, you’re the purple that falls between the pinks and blues of the world. The shade varies on the hour of course. Sometimes fuchsia, sometimes lavender, sometimes wine, but purple all the same.”

“I was asking for a label,” I said, flatly.

They shrugged. “Take a word and use it. What do you want it for? Others or yourself?’

I thought on that. The answer was both. I wanted to explain myself to others, and I wanted to define myself for myself. Androgynous felt right, but then again, so did genderfluid. Nonbinary was broad, but I kind of liked that. It was an umbrella to cover everything else. All these words were synonyms that described, to different degrees, the nuances of my soul.

“Then use all three,” they suggested. “You’re a writer. Since when do writers use just one word to describe something? Especially something so complex as a person? This gives you wiggle room when explaining it to people. If they don’t understand one, maybe they’ll understand another.”

“Yeah, I don’t think my mom knows what the fuck nonbinary means.”

“But she knows what androgynous is. She knows what feminine and masculine mean. You’ll tell her you’re the balance between them. That’s where you’re happiest,” they explained. “But in the end, no matter what label you pick, they’re all true. You know who you are.”

I did. We did. They did.

Yet I felt my world crumbling. I was sitting alone, naked as my soul, staring in the mirror at someone I wasn’t. The people who knew me didn’t know me anymore. I was an alien in my own life.

I had a sudden burning need to erase my old self completely. I wanted the person I saw inside to be who everyone else always knew, to project them onto their memories. More than anything I wanted my real body. This one had an awkward fit, like I was wearing something from several years ago, and I was squirming in it. It felt… off.

“This feels backwards,” I said. “I’m growing backwards. I’m not growing into myself. I’m cutting myself away. It’s uncomfortable.”

“Has it been comfortable cutting off old friends you’ve outgrown? Has it been comfortable to confront the toxic habits you’ve clung to?”

“No.”

“But it’s been for the best?”

“Yes.”

“Then there you go,” they said. “Sometimes metamorphosis feels like going backwards. Remember when you were little, and you called butterflies flutterbies? That’s you. Right now, you’re the flutterby. You’re dissolving in your cocoon. Do you think that’s comfortable for the butterfly?”

“No.”

“But it’s for the best?” They phrased it like a question, but I knew it wasn’t.

“…Yes.”

“Then let yourself dissolve.”

I sighed. “But then what? Who will I be without my old self?”

They smiled again. “With time, the butterfly.”

#nonbinary #nonbinary writer #genderfluid #tw dysphoria #tw self harm thoughts #tw periods #tw sex mention #tw body hate #tw nudity #tw breasts #personal #My writing #entitywrites #tw surgery

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freckliedan · 5 years

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gravel to temple, what i need, and wanna be missed :)

gravel to tempo: have you come out to anyone? if yes, who was the first person you told? if no, do you want to? who would you tell first? yes i have! i’ve been out as varying-labels of not straight since 2013 to pretty much everyone, and i think teh first person i told was my best friend at the time? but i had really really supportive parents even before i came out so i knew they’d be chill and was able to just offhandedly mention in conversation that i was bi, and they were like “cool” & that was pretty much it as far as when i first came out?

i’m not out in most spaces as nb, just to friends and on this blog, but i think that my dad has kind of picked up on the fact that i’m like “MMMM gender? stinky” because he knows i have nonbinary friends and that i use the name den a lot and he’s been super affirming abt me being more androgynous lately. the first person i actually said anything about gender to was my best friend keerthi, bc they were talking about it and i was like.. me too shh and after that the first ppl i came out to were my gf & best friend & i kind of just quietly changed my pronouns on social media (except for facebook bc that’s so dead to me that i’m still bi on it & i haven’t id’d as bi for years).

also im like aggressively out as a queer lesbian in all of my classes and i WILL raise my hand to bring up relevant lgbt topics. multiple times. in one day

what i need: who are your favourite gay artists? what are your favourite gay songs?i fucking, love gay music and art, the indigo girls are my mothers who raised me so i feel like i’ve got to list them and as far as i’m aware there’s no lgbt ppl in the band the mountain goats but a lot of their music is something i relate intensely to as a queer person?

but like re: music i listen to a Lot by queer artists? i fucking love janelle monae, i love mika, i love adult mom bc the singer is nb and it’s like. god its some moods and it’s like a genre of music i really love?, my best friend miles has a queer is holy playlist, i love harry styles w my entire heart, i don’t know very much of laura jane grace (of the band against me)’s music but sometimes i just need to scream-sing about pissing on the walls of shitty people’s houses, this is me & my gf & best friend’s playlist from pride this year, i love ben j pierce and hayley kiyoko and king princess, this is a playlist by piper @asterlark that i believe is entirely lgbt artists?, piper’s pride playlist, my spotify playlist that’s just called GIRLS i heard of them, and also my best friend keerthi makes music too and id die for them soo (sorry if this bit got long and off topic)

if i had to pick one (1) favorite gay song it would be hymn by kesha bc Fuck dude thats the mood

wanna be missed: how dependent or independent are you in a relationship? do you like a lot of space, or a lot of intimacy? how do you feel about electronic (vs face to face) communication?here’s the thing..the thing is i’ve been dating my gf for over 4 years now and had feelings for her for nearly a year before that and we were best friends before that and i mean we were nemeses before that but we’ve known eachother since we were both 7?

so like idk it’s like.. we’re like dan and phil. the two of us have been together since we were 18 and so like! we can be on our own we’re our own people and we have parts of our lives that are separate from eachother but we always choose eachother? they’re my partner we’re a team and i’d always rather do something with her than without them and like. yeah. we still don’t live together bc of money so a lot of the time we’re in communication thru phonecalls and texting and snapchat and Everything bc even though we see eachother nearly daily we still miss eachother? so i guess i like a lot of intimacy but this is the only way i’ve ever known, you know? she’s the first person i ever dated and i’m the first person they ever dated & its just like! yeah. idk. not to be that bitch but the reason i love dnp is bc their relationship feels exactly, exactly the same as me & my gf’s relationship & like! yeah! idk! i run out of words cos i’m so filled w love. idk.

it’s a unique n special kind of love when you get the chance to become an adult, like, grow into a person, alongside your best friend, the person who made you believe in love, maybe even the person who made you believe in soulmates even though you don’t really necessarily believe in souls.. like, i’m talking about me there but im definitely also talking about dan & thats why i love dan and phil so much n thats why i can’t really answer this question good! idk how to describe it to someone who hasn’t experienced it? bc it’s the only thing i know i don’t know how to relate my experiences to other experiences bc of that. idk!!!!!!! i love love. i’m going to stop talking now fsdjklfjsdkl

#leo ty so much for the ask sorry for the absolute word vomit of a response #im just gay and talk a lot! my two biggest skills #q slur/#but in a reclaimed way not a bad way #my gf got me a promise ring for our 4 year anniversary & im getting her one for xmas & like..#god i cant wait to live together #LOVE of. my life #danslawdegree #den replies

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underhermantle · 7 years

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I was explaining Deanism to a feminist friend of mine and was surprised she didn't approve of it. She said that she preferred how Christianity and some other religions are starting to use non binary or female inclusive language for God, and worries that a religion that excludes the masculine/androgynous entirely wouldn't be fair to men or NB people. :-/

Hey!

I want to write a long and nuanced post about this at one point since I have a lot of thoughts on this issue but for now I’ll just say this:

Deanism doesn’t claim to be a ‘feminist religion’. We are not a non feminist religion either. We are a religion, free from political leanings. These days many religions seem to focus more on politics than they do about actual worship and devotion to God. On one hand you have conservative Christians shouting at women outside abortion clinics and aggressively countering LGBT rights and on the other hand you have feminist spiritualities like a lot of Mother Earth and New Age type groups, which often (but not always) just ends up being basically secular humanistic and not a religion at all.

A lot of people who aren’t actually religious or don’t worship God the Mother use statements like ‘God is a woman’ as a political statement. Which is their right. But sometimes I think such statements can trivialize Divine Feminine worship and make outsiders believe there is no way people could actually worship God the Mother.

Liberal Christians, as your friend pointed out, have started using feminine language for God, but often it just feels like lip service. They’ll throw in a couple of scriptural references about how God is ‘like a mother hen’ and talk about feminism but then for all intents and purposes they go back to worshipping a masculine God. I am not saying this is the case for all liberal Christian groups but as someone who has been a part of many I have seen it happen in many different churches. “Oh, hey, God is like a mother hen! Time to go back to calling him Father and using masculine pronouns for the rest of the service, though.” Other Deanists I’ve spoke to from Christian backgrounds have said the same thing. Many liberal Christian blogs on Tumblr do this, too. Don’t get me wrong, there are some Christopagans and such on here that do take their devotion to God the Mother seriously and do frequently and consistently affirm the female/feminine aspect of Deity, but for a lot of people it just seems like something they can use as a political tool to make a feminist statement every so often.

Worship of God the Mother has become so politicized. Can Deanists be feminists? Absolutely. I am a feminist myself, despite having a few issues with mainstream feminism today. I mostly consider myself a cultural feminist which is very different in a lot of ways than liberal or radical feminism. Do Deanists have to be feminists? Nope. I guess you could make the argument that for one to believe in a feminine God and then believe in a system in which women are spiritual leaders they’d have to have some feminists leanings even if they don’t admit to them, but there is no guidebook or scripture that says ‘Dea requires all of Her devotees to align with this political view or this political view.’

As for excluding nonbinary and male people, they are absolutely allowed to be Deanists. CoMG is an all female congregation (insofar as they can be considered a congregation) because of them being Chelouranyans which is an all female group. Clan Jana accepts devotees of all genders but its clergy is all female. I myself plan to start an all female order for young women, similar in design to religious and non religious groups for young women such as the Order of the Rainbow, Girl Scouts, the Mormon Young Women’s program, etc. Feminists often believe in all female spaces, so ask your friend why a religious group cannot have all female spaces, also.

In a world literally dominated by masculine and male centric religions, one tiny religion that centres the feminine and women isn’t a bad thing. Feminists and liberals want ‘balance’ between the masculine & the feminine in religion but what they don’t realise is that this doesn’t have to mean worshipping a multi-gendered Godhead or both the divine masculine and feminine, it can also mean groups that exclusively worship the divine feminine, to counter all the masculine centric religions in the world (and yes, I’m aware that most monotheisms do not believe that God is literally Male, but for all intents and purposes they worship God as a Father, a masculine Deity, and only pay lip service to God as divine feminine, which I mentioned earlier). Besides, we are not saying our way is the only way. Even if we did exclude men entirely from the religion (which we do not), that wouldn’t make all men damned because being a Deanist is necessary for salvation. There are other religions they could be a part of. Recently I heard the term ‘soft monotheism’. I’d heard of ‘hard monotheism, hard polytheism and soft polytheism’ in the past, but never soft monotheism. The definition I read was this: “One God, though other cultures might use different names to try to understand the great Creator.” I’d say that’s us. So, we don’t hold Deanism as necessary for salvation (salvation is universal), then it stands to reason that even if Deanism was female exclusive, we weren’t proclaiming that men and nonbinary people are outside of salvation’s grasp and locked out of any kind of ‘real’ connection with God.

But we do include men and nonbinary people, they are allowed to be Deanists, but some Deanic orders remain female only, and that’s okay. There was once a brotherhood order, but I’m unsure if they’re still about. If they’re not, and we ever end up with a lot of male members, there should definitely be one, as well as an order for nonbinary people, and one for people of all genders.

To summarize: Our worship of Dea isn’t a feminist statement. It is a deep, personal religious devotion that works for very few people, whether they need a masculine God or a non-gendered one, but it works for us.

As an addendum, I’d like to suggest sending this to your friend, too :) https://maisappho.wordpress.com/2013/07/24/why-i-only-worship-god-the-mother/

#deanism #filianism #god the mother #heavenly mother #queen of heaven

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theweepingstar · 7 years

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all the questions for the pride questionnaire please

what is your sexuality? Pansexual, and um Poly??? I’m not sure about that yet tho

what do gender do you identify as? Genderfluid/Nonbinary

how long have you been aware of your sexuality/gender? Sexuality: High school, but definitely felt it before then; Gender: high school, but didn’t embrace it fully until college

do you have any preferences? Not particularly, I’m attracted to people who are confident in their gender and sexuality, but not specific genders/body type/etc.

share a positive memory about coming out! Coming out to my friends was nerve racking and I almost had several panic attacks bc I didn’t come out to everyone as a group, but everyone was super supportive towards me and its very nice.

how do you feel about pride month? I love it! It’s a great time to celebrate and embrace your pride in your sexuality/gender. I don’t like the whole corporate crap tagged along with it, but in general, yes.

do you participate in pride related events? any other events? I’ve been trying to go to my town’s Pride Fest when they have it. I used to be SUPER active in college bc I was the president of our lgbta club, but now I’m graduated so I’m trying to do what I can.

how do you feel about lgbtq roles in media? I wish there were more. I’m starved to watch someone like me on screen and they get a happy ending. I want other people to be able to see themselves in books and on the screen and be recognized and get good stories.

do you feel pride in who you are? Absolutely. It’s hard sometimes with my gender, but definitely.

who has been your supportive idols in your self discovery? My sibling, Vivian. My friends. My mother.

tell us about your first crush? I’ve had so many XD My first big crush that I actually did something about was in college. She was in a class ahead of me, but we were in the same organization. I love her so much. We both love working with animals so much, love tea. We slept over practically every weekend during her last semester in college before she graduated. It was very lovely. Some people thought we were dating then tbh, but we weren’t. But, practically, we might as well have been. We’ve known each other for over 4 years now, but I eventually plucked up the courage to ask her out last year. While it didn’t work out that well bc it was long distance, I would still like to think that we’re friends. We’re trying to get back to talking regularly after a few months of silence after the break up.

what sort of advice to have you lgbtq teens? Be yourself and it’s okay to not have everything figured out. Take your time in discovering yourself. You have all the time in the world. Explore!

have you come out to friends and family? Yes

how do you feel about the term “coming out” ? I don’t mind it, but I don’t think its obligatory if you’re lgbta.

do you believe there is a “closet” to come out of? In the sense of oppression and being trapped and not fully yourself, I suppose so. But you don’t need to come out if you don’t want to. That is a wholly personal choice. NO ONE should pressure you into coming out.

any tips on coming out? Be clear as possible and you may have to explain yourself multiple times. Be prepared for questions and answer to the best of your ability. Take it slow. You don’t need to come out all at once. You can come out multiple times too to the same person if your identity changes.

what’s your biggest pet peeve when it comes to lgbtq characterization in media? Killing us

what’s your favorite parts of lgbtq characterization in media? Usually everyone is so diverse outside of their sexuality/gender (if you’re watching and consuming particular media), and I love that bc people are actually like that. They’re diverse! They’re not just one identity.

what did your teachers say about the lgbtqa community in school? I didn’t really have anything in high school about it, but college was a lovely experience. It was super positive for the lgbta community, especially with a lot of professors in the English department, all of whom I adore.

do you practice safe sex with the same gender? I would if I was having sex.

what’s an absolute turn off for you in the opposite/same gender? Being an asshole and thinking you know everything when you don’t.

what’s an absolute turn on for you in the opposite/same gender? Confidence. I’m also very in the androgynous look, but its not a deal breaker.

how do you feel about lgbtq clubs/apps/websites? I’m here for them. I think they’re important bc then people can be surround people who would understand them better, even if it is online. Many physical places for lgbta people to hang out are bars or clubs, which meet at night usually and aren’t usually catering to minors. So online spaces, and non-adult-only spaces, are super important.

how do you feel about the term “queer” ? I’m fine with it. It actually helps me a lot out bc I fall under a crap ton of umbrellas and queer is a lot easier to say than explain the list of things I identify as.

how does you country view the lgbtq community? Generally speaking, well depending on where you’re at in the country. The US is huge and it really differs area to area. Yes we have same sex marriage, but other rights are missing, like adoption, etc. It could definitely be LOADS better.

favorite lgbtq actor/actress? Laverne Cox. Ian McKellan. Alan Cumming. Kristen Stewart.

any tips for heterosexual and/or cisgender people on how to handle lgbtq events/news? Be respectful and don’t make it about you, especially if its something horrific like Orlando.

what’s the most annoying question you have ever gotten? I actually can’t think of one at the moment.

how do you feel about receiving questions about your sexuality/gender? Go for it. Just don’t be vulgar. I’ll be vulgar back.

#ask games #pride #asked and answered #anonymous #long post #Anonymous

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