#and what an exciting new development that is!!!!
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Two hearts, one timeline. Alexia putellas x reader
An age gap romance.
“ We are delighted to introduce you to this young star. She is a 2 time world cup champion, the youngest ever to achieve that. A 2 time NWSL winner. A final’s MVP and just overall an inspiration. Welcome to the show.” said the reporter next to you. The studio was quiet and all you could hear was your heart beating in your ears. This wasn't the first time you were on TV but you were uncertain about the way the news you were about to deliver is gonna be perceived.
“ Thank you for having me.” you respond with a smile on your face.
“ After your recent NWSL win you were the talk of the sports world. Everybody is interested in whether you are gonna resign with your club or not. What do you say to those questions?”
“ Well I am sad to say that I will not resign with Seattle but very excited to say that a team I have been dreaming of joining has reached out to sign me. I have signed a 4 year contract with FC barcelona.”
“ Oh my god, that's exciting. Tell us how you feel at the moment.”
“ Well, I am very excited,but sad to say goodbye to my family in the states and at seattle. I think this challenge is gonna help me develop as a footballer and learn new styles.”
“ Well, we wish you good luck.”
“ Thank you.”
You exit the studio and the weight of the secret drops from your shoulder. You were gonna leave your home for a more competitive team and a shot at the chapion’s league.
Your move to Barcelona was smooth. You celebrated your run at your old club with the girls, took your flight the next day and landed in sunny Barcelona, the weather was as great as they all said. You then went directly to your new apartment. The time zone change weighed heavily on your body so you took a shower immediately, put your sheets in your new bed and laid down as soon as you could. You then opened your phone only for it to freeze due tha new messages and followers you received. You could see all the comments and messages your new teammates wrote on your post congratulating you on the signing and wishing well for you. This made you excited for your first day tomorrow.
When you woke up the next day you were nervous to say the least. You got ready, called a taxi and headed to the facility. You first got a tour of the facility which was empty because it was early. You met as much staff as you could, did your fitness and health test, a photoshoot, and shot some content. By the time you were done your teammates were done training too. You were ushered by the assistant coach to go to the field and meet everybody.
Your heart was beating like a drum. You were standing next to alexia putellas, aitana bonmati, lucy bronze, and mapi leon. Those people are more experienced and have more accolades than you.
“ Everybody please welcome our new signing from the US.” said your coach which caused all of them to start cheering.
“Hola a todos. Estoy emocionado de ser parte de este equipo, compartir el campo con todos ustedes y ganar algunos trofeos con ustedes.”
“Joder, hablas español y tus estadísticas son buenas, nos llevaremos muy bien.“ said patri putting her arm on your shoulder and guiding you inside.
“Si ella hablara catalán habríamos sido mejores amigas.” said aitana sarcastically.
The rest of the day went on great, you had lunch with the girls, you laughed with them, and exchanged stories. They welcomed you very well.
“ for a young girl you really carry yourself well.” said lucy
“ I had to grow up quickly.” you respond to her.
Your first month at Barcelona was amazing. You got on with the girls really well, training was going well, you had your first start within 2 weeks of your arrival and the fans were really happy with you after your first hattrick in the last match.
“Necesitamos celebrar tu primer mes exitoso con nosotros estrella.” said mapi while you were recovering in the gym. Estrella was the Spanish translation of the nickname the fans gave you when you were getting famous, which was stargirl. That nickname was used by everybody you knew, even the press. But from them it sounded different.
“ Yeah sure, just text me the details.” You responded.
You then went home, showered, and rested. You then got a message from the group chat.“ La terrazza. 8:00.”
Since they went there to celebrate you, you decided to show up and show out. You decided on a black maxi dress, heels, gold accessories, and a red lip.
You drove to the club and got there at 8 sharp. You went inside, and headed straight to the bar to order a drink. The girls started coming little by little, and by a few hours you were all jammed up dancing in the middle of the dance floor. However, your captain didn't join you; she instead opted to watch from the bar.
Alexia has been quiet and reserved around you. Maybe she didn't like you or maybe she was just a quiet person, you never really thought about it before.
“chicas voy a ir al baño.” You yell so that you can be heard over the loud music and exit the dance floor.
Surprisingly the bathroom was empty. You got your business done and went over to the mirror to fix your makeup.
“Parece que te lo estás pasando bien aquí en Barcelona..” said a voice from behind you which took you a minute to realize it was Alexia 's.
“ Capitana I am too drunk for Spanish right now.” You respond still facing the mirror
“ You look good. I mean happy in Barcelona.” She said nervously.
“ Well that's because of you and your friends out there. Actually it was more your friends than you since you hate me.” You respond l, alcohol making you braver than you usually are.
“ I could never hate you. I just can't control myself around you.” She says half whispering. “tengo que ir.” She added before she exited the bathroom.
“ This is definitely something I need to visit tomorrow when I am sober.” You say to yourself before joining the girls again. You were told that Alexia left which caused you to have more questions but you didn't give it much thought. You partied more with the girls before leaving.
Your head was pounding the next morning but you couldn't remember anything, only that you had a great time.
The following weeks were nothing short of spectacular. You were training well, winning every game, scoring every game, and you really built a community with the girls. But Alexia was giving you more space than usual which you couldn't understand why.
Jonathan could see that Alexia was cornering herself away from you so he decided to pair you with each other on everything under the excuse of her giving you more experience since she was older than you. She didn't talk when she was near you, she barely even touched you. This caused commotion in your brain. You lost sleep over why she despised you so much.
One day you had enough of the questions in your brain so you waited in the locker room knowing that she wouldn't come to it to avoid you. You stayed there af-ter all the girls left. After a while alexia entered the locker room
“ Have I ever done anything to offend you?” you ask as soon as you see her figure.
“ Mierda, me asustaste, pensé que no había nadie aquí.” she said taking a few steps back
“ capitana please just give a straight answer. What have I ever done to you?.”
“ We talked about this and my answer was nothing, the problem is in me.”
“ when did we talk about this i don't remember anything.”
“ that night at the party now will you please leave so that i can change and go home i am really tired.”
“ Alexia, this is eating away at me. All I want is for us to be friends or just teammates. Tell me what I did so that we can get past it.”
“ You did nothing, just get over it. You have plenty of friends.”
“No puc fer això ara mateix, és massa jove i hauria de proteger-la de mi” she whispers in catalan and leave without looking at you.
You didn't understand catalan but it was close to Spanish which you were fluent in so when you heard her words you could remember them easily. After she left you reached for your phone and translated her words. “ I can't do this right now. He is too young and should protect her from me.”
Alexia’s words shocked you. You felt dizzy and couldn't focus. You never realized that alexia could have anything for you except hate. You loved her and admired her for the player and person she is. You looked up to her kind heart and intelligent brain. But no matter what you thought about it you needed her approval, her attention, and her focus to be on you as much as you were on her. That's why her distance from you left you puzzled.
You knew that you couldn't stay like that, not when your brain was filled with questions that needed answering.
You left the training facility, and headed straight to Alexia's house.
Before knocking on her door your knees were weak and your brain was quiet. She opened the door mere moments later.
“ What did you mean by protecting me from you?” you asked as soon as she opened the door.
“ What are you doing here?” she asked.
“ What did you mean, alexia?”
“ i don't want to talk about this.”
“ well i do it's the only thing i have been thinking about.”
You force your way inside and she closes the door after you
“ You are not this passive aggressive. I know you. I heard alot about you. This thing you are hiding from me is killing me.” you say to her once she is in front of you.
“ Believe me when I say that I am protecting you.”
“ it's not your choice capitana. What are you protecting me from?”
“ I am protecting you from my feelings for you god damn it. We can't be together and that is all I have been thinking about. I have been thinking about you, your body, your laughter, your eyes. It’s driving me insane.” she yells as she slams the wall behind you.
You weren't shocked, you managed to keep your calm. You held onto her hand which was still on the wall. You backed up a little bit and didn't say a word.
“ this can't happen, you are 23, i am 30. I am older than you. I outrank you in the team. I just…”
“ i dont care.” you interrupt her still holding on to her arm. “ capitana i dont give a fuck. I want you. I need you. Do you want me?” you add.
“More than you'll ever know.” she whispers.
The air was still. The tension was high. You feel your body unintentionally move towards alexia. Your face was millimeters away from her you could feel her breath on your lips. You somehow got brave enough to kiss her. The kiss cut short because she pulled away.
“ please capitana i want this. I want you.”
She then kisses you deeply. Her need for you was apparent. She took control of all of you, not just your lips. She picked you up and walked towards her bedroom all while kissing you. She then threw you on her bed.
“ Are you sure estrella.” whispers
“ I never wanted anything more in this world.”
#woso#woso fanfics#woso imagine#woso community#woso x reader#alexia putellas fic#alexia putellas imagine#alexia x reader#alexia putellas#woso appreciation#woso request
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❥﹒♡﹒☕﹒ 𝗯𝗲 𝘀𝗺𝗮𝗿𝘁𝗲𝗿 ( 𝗮𝗰𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗺𝗶𝗰𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝗯𝘂𝘁 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗼𝗻𝗹𝘆 !! )
𝟭. improve your writing skills ( ✒️ )
i feel that not everyone has the perception of how important it is to know how to write. you don't have to be a poet, nor the new emily brontë, but fluid, conscious, rich writing makes the difference. really. you could write a page without saying anything at all, but if that damn page is written good and smoothly, then you can be sure that you will get extra points. take the time to improve your writing skills, the best advice i have for doing so is reading. read as much as you can. read novels (non-fiction in this case doesn't help because the content is preferred rather than the form), read contemporary authors – you don't necessarily have to read sophocles' tragedies, but read quality stuff. expand your vocabulary, your knowledge of syntax, learn to use punctuation! and then write, tell stories, write love letters, write reviews of films, books, cultural festivals, open a blog on tumblr and write to practice, reread what you write ad nauseam, until it is perfect, until the form of your essay is pulitzer prize worthy.
bonus some of my favourite authors (tell me in the comments about yours!): ian mcewan, banana yoshimoto, haruki murakami, george orwell, josé saramago, albert camus, khaled hosseini, hanya yanagihara
𝟮. develop critical thinking ( 💭 )
if you have always studied passively by absorbing information and vomiting it onto a test sheet then you have wasted your time. taking on information is not enough, you need to know how to rework it and develop your own idea about it. especially in the arts and literature one may disagree with certain information provided by a textbook. developing critical thinking is not easy, especially due to the school system that teaches us to standardize thinking. always consult all available sources on a given topic, compare them, analyze contradictions. it might be difficult and tiring – our brain spends more energy processing two conflicting pieces of information than processing two pieces of information that agree – but it will be worth it. by practicing critical thinking and improving your argumentation skills, you will not only be able to improve in your studies, becoming able to present complex topics and make interdisciplinary connections, but also in daily life, you will become much less influenced and manipulated by external information.
𝟯. find yourself an interest ( 🌷 )
it could be anything, but find an interest that excites you and you enjoy and do research about it. watch videos, documentaries, read articles. it doesn't have to be school-related, it must be an external topic that you are passionate about and that allows you to rediscover the joy of studying and learning every time school seems to suffocate it. sometimes i'm not in the mood to study for exams, so i dedicate myself to my personal research and finally find my spark, my seek for knowledge. for example, my interest is true crime, it has always fascinated me since i was little, but yours could be wild animals, makeup, comics, ships, planes, ocean flora, literally anything. there is no constraint.
𝟰. analyze your mistakes and recognize your wrongs ( 🫒 )
there is no shame in making mistakes. everyone makes mistakes, we are human, but the real sin is getting bogged down in mistakes, refusing to acknowledge them, and continuing to make them again and again. we should be continually growing, continually discovering ourselves, both intellectually and emotionally. how many of you were the "gifted kid" when you were little and then grew up into burned out high school / uni students desperately seeking academic validation? there comes a time when talent isn't enough, you have to put in the effort, and this doesn't make you less intelligent or gifted, in fact, quite the opposite. dedicating time and attention to your personal and intellectual growth also means having to ruminate on your mistakes. it's scary, but it's the most effective way if you really want to improve. take a notebook and at the end of the day reflect on the highlights and the wrongs, what you could have done better, where you would like to push forward tomorrow, what you achieved today. did you make a mistake? first ask yourself why and then look for a way to solve the problem, make every bad moment a lesson, a brick on which to build the version of you you wanto to become tomorrow.
𝟱. don't be afraid of doing researches ( 🧃 )
the amount of fake news and misinformation online is appalling. opening any app like tiktok or instagram we are inundated with information that is often (not always, but not so rarely) inaccurate. don't be afraid to conduct your own research, if you have time to mindlessly scroll through tiktok you will also have five minutes to read an article regarding that information provided. don't know the meaning of a word? look it up before using it. not sure about a piece of information? check it before using it in your argumentation. in the age of immediate access to data we have no excuse to be superficial.
𝟲. master communication ( ♟️ )
mastering communication is essential in both personal and professional realms. it's the cornerstone of building meaningful relationships, whether it's conveying ideas effectively in academia or fostering connections in the workplace. developing strong communication skills not only enhances your ability to articulate thoughts but also empowers you to listen actively, empathize with others, and resolve conflicts constructively. ultimately, honing these skills cultivates confidence, credibility, and success in all aspects of life.
𝟳. push yourself out of your comfort zone ( 🧸 )
build your confidence. confidence is uncomfortable. don't be afraid of it. you are young, this is the right time to experiment, take risks, discover who you really are. this is the best time for you to do those things that you would otherwise never do, you don't want to regret later in life that you didn't accept that scholarship, that trip abroad, that job opportunity, because you didn't feel comfortable enough. do things that take you out of your comfort zone until everything becomes your comfort zone. go on solo dates, be a social butterfly, tell the girl at the bookstore you love her t-shirt, go to the theater alone, eat at a restaurant alone, take that trip. if it goes badly, you'll only have one funny story to tell.
𝟴. stay informed about the news (but not too much!) ( 🌍 )
this might be controversial, but: stay informed about the news, just don't overdo it. personally, i am an easily influenced person and i realized that being constantly exposed to the bad things happening in the world had drained me and made me terribly depressed. don't get me wrong, you need to be informed about what's happening in the world and in your country, just being constantly surrounded by horrible news repeated ad nauseam on TV programs is of no use. be aware.
#college#education#school#academia#note taking#student#study aesthetic#study blog#study inspiration#study motivation#academic validation#chaotic academia#light academia#dark academia#university student#architecture student#i should study#study tips#student life#study notes#studyblr#studyinspo#studyspo#uni student#university life#uni life#university#smart#be smart#become smarter
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I think I need a part 2 of the baby creatures because its absolutely ADORABLE!! What about driders, centaurs, orcs, and merfolk?
Thinking about monster babies is so soothing ^_^
The first one is here
👇🏽
Merfolk are born with little tails that take time to gain the strength needed to get them around, so their parents mostly carry them as infants. They are born with an extra fat layer, making them extra chubby, but also to keep them warm in the deep ocean. When they are old enough to swim on their own, most baby merfolk prefer to swim around in a school so they can play and for safety. They have an inherent understanding of the vastness of the ocean and prefer to play near their parents. While they are young, their parents prefer to keep them away from the shallows as there is danger of being spotted by a human or reef shark. Instead, they prefer to keep them in caves, floating kelp, or high sea grass where they can hide easily.
Centaur babies, like humans, take time to develop. Though their bodies are capable of carrying weight when they are born, their brains aren't developed enough to put two and two together, so they are carried for the first six months of their lives. For the first few months, they tend to stay in the fetal position, snuggling in nests or on their parent's back, until their vision and core strength develop. However, once they are on their four feet, they are tiny menaces. They have all the energy and good sense (none) of a toddler but with four strong legs to carry them where they want to go. It's the job of the entire herd to keep them out of trouble. They are easily startled and will retreat to a nearby adult if scared, but they love physical activity. Since they take so well to athletics, centaurs start training their toddlers as soon as they can walk to keep them occupied. Their first training is usually small gathering expeditions, where a few centaurs will escort all of the children to the forest to learn what mushrooms, berries, and nuts are edible. That's followed by runs that grow increasingly longer to learn scouting and camouflage techniques so that they can take their turn on patrol when they are old enough.
Driders are born with their eyes closed and a soft carapace. Their parents generally keep them in a web nursery while their skin hardens, and they eventually open their eyes. Young driderlings are precocious and curious, driven by their natural hunting instincts to explore. When they are small, they can't yet weave or chew through their parent's webs, but they enjoy observing whatever their parents happen to be doing. They are even happier if they are allowed to help. It takes them a bit to obtain the grace and stealthiness normally associated with Driders. When they are little, they are very clumsy and need help from their parents to figure out which leg goes where. They come of the age to be relatively independent when they are able to escape their nurseries, meaning their teeth and claws have developed as well as spinnerets to help them get wherever they want to go. They are astute students when it comes to weaving, writing, and hunting, with a natural lean towards perfectionism. When they are older, they tend to be more solitary. While they enjoy drider society, they are driven to create safe spaces within it for themselves and can be alone for long periods of time without a problem.
Orc babies are expressive and needy. They crave physical touch and interaction to keep them engaged or they get bored and naughty. They need lots of toys to develop their motor skills and learn to crawl earlier than human babies from their excitement to follow their parents around. They hate being in their cradle unless they are asleep and prefer to be in the same room with their parents while they work. They take well to other Orcs in their family, excited to meet new people. Orc society is cooperative, so they learn at a young age to depend on others and seek out company. In a well-guarded Orc village, little Orcs are allowed to roam around as they please as soon after they learn to walk because the village works together to keep them safe. Older siblings or cousins feel a responsibility to keep an eye on the little ones, and often, young Orcs will form little packs to run around the village collecting cookies from indulgent mothers and grandmothers. Little Orcs enjoy crafts, group games, and getting into mischief together. Orc parents encourage them to play independently, developing relationships that will become more and more important as they grow.
Bluesky -- Carrd -- Commissions -- Instagram -- Threads -- Subscribestar
#monster canon#headcanon#monster headcanon#admit speaks#sweet asks#orc#centaur#mermaid#merfolk#drider#orc headcanon#drider headcanon#merfolk headcanon
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I've seen so much discourse about Bucktommy and especially Tommy and it is so wild. I just want to write down some of my thoughts over all of it because that tends to help me to stop thinking about it.
"Oh, how can anyone just abandon Buddie for Bucktommy?"
Has anyone really abandoned Buddie, though? Or are they just for the moment very excited about a new and so very carefully portrait queer story line? Just because some people talk more (or for the moment only) about Bucktommy, doesn't mean they don't like Buddie anymore. They just have something shiny and most importantly canon to fawn over for the moment.
Also, I'd like to give that question back: Why aren't you all excited for a carefully and softly portrait new queer storyline about a character a huge part of the fandom—including the actor himself—hoped for years would get a queer story line?
And it's a pretty unique queer story. Of course, we had Michael figuring out his sexualtiy and growing comfortable in it right at the beginning of the series. But there are some huge differences between Michael's story and Buck's story.
For one, we ended up in the middle of that story. Michael had already done a huge part of the work of getting to know himself. He was ready to live as a gay man. And second, nothing of what we saw until season 3 was from Michael's point of view. It was all from Athena's point of view.
So it was a "coming-out late in life" story line, sure. But it was a queer storyline from a straight perspective. And in some instances, from a very hurt perspective about it all (which are, of course, very valid emotions for Athena, May, and Harry, but it still gave the queer side of the story line a certain taint). And they did that beautifully, too, no doubt. I especially liked that the family didn't break over it, that they grew with that experience, and that Michael and Athena became great friends over the years.
But now we also have a "coming-out late in life" story line from the queer perspective! 9-1-1 is pretty much the only series I'm following right now, so I have no idea if we had something similar recently. But from all the talk I've seen, it's pretty damn unique, especially for a male bi character. So, of course a lot of people are super excited about it. Because it's honest and good representation that the writers and the actors are handling with a lot of care.
"Oh, if it were a female love interest, you'd all hate her again!"
First of all, go back read that paragraph about many people being excited about getting a queer story line again! I think that's about 40% of the answer for everyone wondering about it.
And then, of course, Tommy has now already more depth and character and background than we ever saw about Ali or Natalia. And despite some people claiming he didn't have any kind of redemption arc, he truly had a lot more of a redemption arc than Taylor ever got even if only glimpses of it were ever shown on screen. (Maybe I'll get into my thoughts about that in another post.) Not gonna talk about Abby, because I think most of the dislike for her came long after that relationship was over after she ghosted Buck (and after Eddie had shown up).
One huge difference between every love interest of Buck or Eddie we have seen in the past to Tommy is also, that Tommy gets along really well with Eddie. We've already seen a friendship develop there. That never happened with any of the women either Eddie or Buck dated before. We saw that one dinner Buck and Taylor had with Eddie and Chris, but it was very clear it was the first time, and that was over half a year into Buck and Taylor dating, probably more like nine months.
If you wear slash googles around Buck and Eddie or not, their deep friendship is undeniable. It's very much canon that they both have a hand in raising Chris. Any love interest coming in has to deal with that, and has to somehow fit into that friendship. Tommy is the very first love interest in canon we have ever been shown to have that potential at all.
I'm personally part of the fandom that thinks that Buck and Eddie have great potential in a romantic way, BUT that they are first and foremost soulmates, no matter if platonic or romantic. And at least the Bucktommy fics I've read so far have all acknowledge the friendship of buck and Eddie and Chris' role in Buck's life. With Tommy being very accepting and supportive of it. (Though, I admit I’m very careful in my selection process.)
"Oh, Bucktommy is only a steppingstone for Buddie anyway! Don't get so invested in it!"
Who are you tell anyone what they should get invested in? I also think, with the excitement right now, even if Bucktommy break up, the ship itself will live on in fandom.
And also, didn't any of you learn out of the cheating story line they settled Hen and Karen with?
There is barely any content for Henren*. And I've been looking! Most stories they are tagged in don't really focus on their relationship. And those who do focus on their relationship get barely any attention. And you know why that is? Because a lot of people can't or don't want to deal with the cheating. (I deal with it by trying to ignore it or seeking out content where it's fixed!) Do you all really want to have a second queer story line that centers around cheating?
And even if none of you care for Henren (which... I know many don't *shrugs sadly*), have you all already forgotten the real pain over Buck kissing Lucy and then not fessing up to Taylor about it right away? (Once again, I deal by either ignoring it or seeking out content that fixes that bullshit.)
I'm honestly pretty disgusted by all the speculation about 7x06 that has anything to do with Buck and Eddie cheating on Tommy and Marisol during the bachelor party. And even more so about all the fics one can find about that, or that use Tommy as a device for Buck and Eddie realizing they are in love. (Honestly, even filtering out the other relationship tag while looking for stories in one relationship tag doesn't prevent one from stumbling over those stories right now, no matter if one is currently looking for Buck/Tommy or Buck/Eddie stories. It's so fucking annoying. I've turned to only reading old Buddie fics for the moment.)
Aside from the whole cheating of it all, why do any of you think the next episode will focus on anyone else but Maddie and Chim?
"Bucktommy is so racist! But really, no surprise in this fandom!"
What's no surprise is that "racist" is once more used as a buzzword in this fandom. To the point that BiPOC fans of Bucktommy are being told they are racist for the ship they like. (Nothing new about that in this fandom either.) Honestly, half the arguments about why the ship is oh so racist either make my head hurt while I try to follow the many, many, many mental loops people are making to get there, or they just make me laugh outright.
Do some of you really believe it when you say "Buck got together with a White man instead of his Latino best friend, so of course that's racist!"??? I'm just... Are you okay? Do you maybe need something warm to drink, a snack, and a nice place somewhere in the sun far away from the internet to just enjoy nature for a little while?
As I said, I'll probably make another post about Tommy's redemption arc over the whole "He is an unrepentant racist and misogynist". That redemption arc exists and has been baked in since season 2 (even if some of people clearly lack the media literacy to see it). Though, other people already put together great meta posts about this. But maybe if there are enough of it, some people will for once acutally read and start to think instead of continuing to spew their hate.
*PS: If anyone has good Henren contant, especially fanfiction, feel free to drop me a DM. I'm always looking!
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Clear Card Trivia 3 ~ Sakura's journey of growth and self-understanding throughout Cardcaptor Sakura Clear Card
Hello and welcome back to my "Clear Card Trivia" series, a collection of informative posts where I delve into certain aspects of the story of Cardcaptor Sakura Clear Card! ✨
The topic I will talk about today has been on my "to-do list" for long time. It's something I felt the need to talk about, and I won't hide the reason why: the desire to fully eviscerate this topic grew particularly after reading around certain criticism of Clear Card Arc. But also after listening to CLAMP's Twitter Spaces, particularly the ones towards the end of the story.
It's something that, setting aside my obvious love for the new characters, will always make me think that Clear Card Arc has been a very welcome addition to the series.
This post will delve into Sakura's growth throughout Clear Card Arc.
Sakura grew up considerably during the story, and had a character development that sadly not many people truly realized.
I'm not talking about an evolution of the character design which, despite changing and evolving throughout the story (as it's expected for a long-running serialization), kept depicting Sakura consistently with quite young looks...no, I'm talking about her mental growth, in relation to her self-knowledge and her relationship with her magic powers.
A journey that might almost feel "frustrating", because it is full of "up and downs", and Sakura sometimes seems to be taking one step forward and two back. Aside from the obvious practical reasons (the plot had to develop several other storylines simultaneously), it very much reflects the realistic growth of a pre-teen, which is never a straight line but is made of improvements and relapses.
Along the journey, I couldn't really avoid mentioning some bits of the development of Sakura's relationship with Syaoran, which will get its own deep and detailed post another day.
There's also an extra about the significance of the Clear Cards in the story, at the end.
I have to be honest, the post is very long, but I tried to insert visual elements to make it easier on the eye.
If you're curious to know how the hell I found so much to talk about for this specific topic, follow me under the cut and dive into Sakura's journey throughout Clear Card (it's also a good way to review the story)! ✨
A Disconnected Beginning
Clear Card Arc starts in a very "festive" and happy way: everything is peaceful, a new exciting chapter of Sakura's educational life is starting with the beginning of middle school, Syaoran is back to Tomoeda, this time to stay forever with his beloved girl...everything seems so perfect. And precisely in chapter 1, before everything takes an unexpected turn, we have this scene here, which I consider the "true" beginning of everything:
Sakura says "I haven't been using this lately...well, that's for the better".
At the beginning of Clear Card Arc, Sakura seems to be feeling disconnected from her natural gift.
Despite she had to go on a quest to collect all the Clow Cards, which later she gave a new life to by changing them into Sakura Cards, we have to remember that Sakura was born with magic powers.
They weren't bestowed on her by Kero-chan, nor by the contract with the Clow Book: she always had magic in her blood, and it apparently "woke up" on that fateful day she found the Clow Book in the library of her father.
At the beginning of this arc, Sakura seems to think that the purpose, the meaning of this natural gift which is literally part of herself, has been fulfilled by transforming all the Cards, and splitting Eriol's power as he had requested.
Her words here seem to be suggesting a general idea of "if I have to use this key (therefore, my magic powers), it means something troublesome is happening, so it's better if I'm not using it because it means everything is okay".
And although we can't really deny that what happened afterwards is far from being able to be considered "peaceful", this scene here always left a bad taste in my mouth because there's almost a negative vibe attached to the idea of her magic, transpiring from Sakura's words. It's almost as if she's politely rejecting it.
Precisely after she places her Star Key in her jewelry box, probably hoping to never have to use it again, she has her first premonitory dream of the events that will shake her life afterwards. Almost as if her powers were trying to tell her "no my dear, this is you and you'd better come to terms with it as soon as possible".
Then, as we all know, the Cards turn blank. Sakura produces a new key while having another dream and a quest to fight and "secure" some strange phenomena happening around her begins, leaving her in a state of increasing confusion.
This is the beginning of the part of the story that I quite literally call "Sakura loses sight of herself".
At this very early stage of the story, she still doesn't know that she started losing control over her increasing magical power, and it is definitely not a coincidence that all of this began when she thought of shutting her main magic tool away in a box, hoping to ignore it forever.
For plot reasons, this also happens simultaneously to Syaoran taking the spirits of the Sakura Cards away from her (because in the beginning, you had to be tricked into thinking he was up to something shady and was the real mastermind behind all the incidents).
Syaoran expected for Sakura to lose control over her powers, as his mother predicted a general period of trouble for her that could lead her to unhappiness, albeit without any clear indication of what could happen: Syaoran came to Japan knowing something was bound to happen to his girl and her powers, and that something was going to lead her to grief, but he had no idea about all the rest. So his uncertain and reckless approach, which ended up in some cases worsening the situation, is also somewhat understandable.
He was acting like a worried, overprotective boyfriend at his wit's end.
The strange events, which Sakura materializes into a new set of Cards, surely leave her distraught and confused, not to mention the situation with the Sakura Cards and Eriol's missing replies, but I feel that what really destabilizes her core are the constant dreams she gets, sometimes even in the middle of her waking hours, making her faint on the spot wherever she is.
Premonitory dreams are a part of her natural gift that she began to express ever since the OG manga, but she never seemed to really understand them or take them seriously.
This time around, she keeps seeing this cloaked figure and this terrifying dragon, no one speaks a word despite her relentless questions and the cloaked figure seems to be wanting to take her newly made key away (Lilie!!! what were you trying to do!! *facepalm* she probably tried to pull her closer so she could talk to her), so it's just normal that all of that leaves her increasingly stressed and anxious, even though initially you never see her openly and verbally stating that, due to her overall positive nature ("I'll manage it, somehow" is part of her "everything will be alright" invincible spell, and this is indeed what she keeps telling herself in the beginning of the arc, even though in some occasions it turned out to be a double-edged sword, as sometimes it looked more like sweeping her fears under the carpet, to me).
"Something Is Not Right"
Dream after dream, Card after Card, Sakura begins to have these general feelings of discomfort and of "something is not right, here", as she openly states to Syaoran in this scene of volume 4, chapter 14.
There's something about this situation that is pricking her sixth sense, and makes her uneasy, but she can't quite put her finger on it yet. All she can do is to keep "fighting" these phenomena happening around her, hoping to find out more along the way.
She reiterates the same feeling of uneasiness at the end of chapter 15, after what I consider one of the most concerning side-effects of her poor control over her powers: Sakura seems almost "in trance" while she leads her guardians to the exit of the maze, and acts in a very uncharacteristic, cold way by shoving her bag in front of Yue to make him hold it for her.
It's almost as if her magical sixth sense worked too strongly and warped her personality in that moment: an effect that has been mentioned several times in relation to powerful magicians like Clow, Eriol and later Kaito too, so it's not farfetched at all to attribute this one-off occurrence to her loss of control over her strong powers, which ended up affecting her personality too. Luckily, it didn't happen again in the rest of the story and the capture of this Card was completely changed in the anime (a wise decision imho, since the JP fandom is particularly fussy about the integrity of Sakura's character, and she needed to stay "Sakura" in order to do what she did at the end).
At the culmination of a "mini arc" (the visit to great-grandpa Masaki) characterized by uncontrolled visions of Nadeshiko, another frightening dream (one that ended up dragging even Akiho in, due to the synchronization) and Sakura for the first time ever confronting Syaoran about the things he's been hiding from her, we reach the following scene of volume 5, chapter 23.
"I Wish I Had A Mirror"
I always considered this scene extremely important, because for the first time Sakura spells out clearly the inner turmoil that's been gnawing at her soul ever since this ordeal with the new Cards started.
"The truth is...I'm the worst at understanding myself. And that is probably causing lots of concern to everyone."
"I wish I had a mirror. A mirror that could reflect the real me. Then, I would probably understand how to not make everyone worry"
Here, Sakura clearly spells out the frustration of knowing, feeling in her bones that there's something wrong with her, something that she's not understanding about herself, and that something is causing problems, but most importantly, is causing her loved ones to worry about her.
Let's not forget that not only Syaoran, but also Yukito, Touya, Fujitaka, Tomoyo, Eriol & his family have all been watching her situation in apprehension, each of them making decisions and moving discretely in a direction they felt was right (and admittedly, not all instances were so).
Sakura can somehow feel all of that, she can feel that it's related to something she still hasn't realized about herself.
This tends to be forgotten because it happens in a relatively early part of the plot, but notice how this is the same problem Kaito suffers from.
A quite stunted ability to understand oneself.
Sakura and Kaito definitely have lots in common, when it comes to this specific part of themselves.
Keep this in mind, because it'll be relevant later.
And then, the situation worsens.
Sakura's dreams start to terrify her, because they begin to show Syaoran's face under the cloak of the mysterious figure who's scaring her in her dreams. An apparent truth she cannot accept, she won't accept, even though she's still unsure about what exactly these dreams she's having are. Despite her boyfriend has been acting shady for long time, she decides to trust him and wait for him to talk to her about all the stuff he's holding inside, instead of putting him through the wringer. This also means, though, that Sakura will keep all her fears to herself, eventually bottling up.
Furthermore, Kaito starts to rewind time to fix a situation without a way out (in chapter 28, Akiho was on the verge of going berserk completely and unleash the artifact), creating an additional sense of confusion when Sakura can feel that her finger is numb due to strain, but she can't understand why (she had fought Kaito's time magic unconsciously). Whenever Kaito will rewind time, even later on, Sakura's magical sixth sense will try to wake her consciousness up more and more, giving her these vibes of "deja vu" or making her act in an apparently inexplicable way.
In the first part of Clear Card, Sakura sometimes literally looks like a soul wandering about in confusion, dragged by the events.
I wish to point out that this is not a flaw in the characterization, it is a precise design by CLAMP.
Sakura IS, in this part of the story, confused and lost, overwhelmed by the events.
She has no idea how to approach this matter other than "treating the symptoms" as they come.
This happens because she's still, surprisingly, quite reluctant to embrace a fundamental part of herself: her innate magic power, which expresses itself mainly through her intuition. But we'll gradually get there.
Around chapter 30, before the big realization, Sakura's situation reached a point where:
- her Sakura Cards unexpectedly became blank;
- almost everyday (sometimes multiple times a day) there's a new incident that she secures into new transparent Cards;
- she constantly sees ominous dreams (in scattered order) with a cloaked figure acting in a questionable way and a scary dragon, and at some point she starts seeing her boyfriend under that cloak;
- her boyfriend acts shady, Eriol doesn't reply to her messages;
- there's a general feeling of "something is not right" with her magic and some stuff starts to not make sense to her (because Kaito rewinds time)
It is at this point that Sakura finally moves one (giant) step forward and connects all the "puzzle pieces" she collected (particularly, how much more "obvious" the creation of a Card became) and understands that she's been the one causing subconsciously each and every single incident that lead to the creation of a new transparent Card.
"I'm Angry At Myself"
And with Syaoran finally coming clean with her (because at that point he had no reason to keep things hidden anymore, as the thing he was trying to delay ultimately happened - and believe me, I'm sure he partly felt relieved to not need to lie anymore, as that took quite a toll on him too), Sakura can at last give an explanation to at least a part of the things that are happening.
And she finally realizes that the doubt that was tormenting her was true: she DID, in fact, not understand something very important about herself, she didn't realize that it was her own power going out of control and that all the incidents that happened bore "her magic signature", so to speak. She failed to "tune in" with her magic.
For the first time ever, Sakura expresses anger at herself.
She will direct that anger (to a lesser extent) to Syaoran too, but I'll tackle that in a separate post.
This is a moment of deep reflection and regrets for Sakura: the poor understanding of herself, the poor "communication" between her heart and her magic powers brought to a situation where her most beloved person was putting himself in danger in order to protect her, while trying to not make things escalate.
This is a very sensitive, beautiful and important moment, steeped in conflicting and complex feelings (and remember, Sakura is just a pre-teen. It is normal for a pre-teen like her to not understand herself, but there's just one tiny detail: she's not a common pre-teen, due to her natural gift, and she needs to take that into account).
Eventually Sakura calms down, and after creating Rewind, her resolute face while hugging tightly Syaoran suggests that from now on she'll face this matter from another, more courageous and determined perspective.
Or at least, these were her good intentions.
Because unfortunately, insecurities are hard to eradicate and in the central part of the story it's shocking to realize how far longer Sakura will insist in shutting away her emotions and refusing to listen to her heart (and intuition) fully.
"It's Just My Imagination"
Part of Sakura's anxiety might have been sedated with the revelation that the Clear Cards are produced by the girl herself, but unfortunately the true core of her problems was not solved at all and will only surface more clearly in the next 20 chapters.
Sakura actively starts having "premonitory bad feelings" when she sees Akiho in volume 7 chapter 34, a bad feeling that she does check with Syaoran, but quickly dismisses as "well, it's just my imagination". This will basically be one of the major problems preventing her from reaching the complete control of her magic.
Sakura, knowing her magic potential, should've given way more credit to her sixth sense, but her anxiety, her insecurity and her crippled connection to her innate gift still pushes her to dismiss these "signs" as nothing really important or true.
Timely as hell, a few hours later something bad will indeed happen to Akiho, where she completely loses consciousness for the first time and the clan/Association actively starts to absorb Sakura's power through the artifact implanted in Akiho. All of this was caused by the high concentration of magic that "triggered" Akiho's artifact (and here I have to sarcastically "applaud" Kaito, just like Syaoran he's another one who does stuff before thinking through, ultimately worsening the problem).
Once trapped in Akiho's artifact, thanks to her power Sakura can see the most horrifying glimpse of Akiho's past, when she was turned into a magic artifact, by living it on her own skin.
And even though Kaito is forced to rewind time once again to save the situation, erasing these memories from Sakura's head, her heart (which is tightly connected to her magical sixth sense - I'd daresay her heart is straight up the source of her magic) DOES REMEMBER, pushing Sakura to act in an apparently irrational way, crying and hugging Akiho tight in empathy.
Sakura is particularly shaken by this feeling, still in pain even hours later, but once again she doesn't understand where it comes from. However, she does express with Syaoran an intention to talk to him about it once she's able to put it into words, and in the meantime do her best with all the rest. At least, there's an intention to understand better this part of herself, but it's still soon to see actual results.
Aaand CLAMP really seem to be wanting to test Sakura in this arc, because at this point of the plot, they add the electrocution spell. 😅
No one seems to understand who caused it (it's not Sakura, nor Kaito, but now we know it was none other than Yelan!!) and Sakura's anxiety increases once again. The fact only Syaoran gets affected by it inevitably reignites the doubts in her mind, unwittingly reminded of that terrifying dream of Cloaked Syaoran she keeps seeing...but she stubbornly keeps telling herself "no, it's not like that, it's just a dream".
It's undeniable that this situation where she cannot understand her foretelling dreams yet, and the way they show her scattered hints because her power is out of control, has surely contributed to Sakura's insecurity when it comes to trust her own intuition.
Her power is so out of control at this point, that even when Kaito shrinks her and throws her in a hole carved into a tree (landing in a "world" created with magic where he hopes she'll create the right Card) her dreams take over again (it's apparent by the "shaaan" sound and how everything turns suddenly pitch black, a common background of her dreams), showing her Akiho in the dress she was wearing when she was turned into an artifact and, inevitably, Sakura's biggest fear, "Cloaked Syaoran".
Pay attention because these visions she's getting here thanks to her power match what will happen later on: what the talking flowers tell her here will turn out to be the beginning of the lyrics of the main theme of the "Alice in Clockland" play.
This vision of Cloaked Syaoran seemingly "about to do something" to Akiho horrifies Sakura to the point of screaming in terror and creating one of the most unsettling Cards, "Break".
It is after this very scary moment that Sakura starts to wonder very specifically for what purpose she is creating all these Cards. The purpose is actually more than one, but she definitely posed herself THE RIGHT question, as this brings her one step closer to the core of the problem and eventually embracing her own magic abilities.
Then, between chapters 43 and 45 we finally start to see some changes in Sakura: surprisingly, she begins to listen more to her sixth sense, first catching Yukito red-handed while activating a newly acquired magic, and then wondering about a strange painful feeling in her chest when her father tells her that lately she and Akiho became even more similar.
We were all lead to believe that this was the foreshadowing of Akiho taking her place (cause everything in the plot at this point deceivingly hints at Kaito wanting to switch them), but she actually was getting foreshadowings of the "rewritten world", where Sakura would genuinely feel wrecked to know that someone important to Akiho was missing, precisely when Akiho would've become part of her family as her twin. In fact, in chapter 45, before falling completely asleep, she hears again the ominous "you won't be able to come back" (the Association's threat to Kaito), wondering WHO wouldn't be able to come back - somehow, Sakura knows that it's not directed at her.
"Just Tell me Honestly How You Feel"
And then, we reach another moment that I consider pivotal for Sakura's growth during this Clear Card Arc.
The moment when she's on the verge of breaking down and finally lets all her feelings out.
Her anxiety over the dream with the Cloaked Figure reached the highest peak, so much that she finally manifests a Card, Mirage, that challenges her precisely with that appearance. While Sakura battles that Card (which at the moment she still believes it's an actual person), she seems resoluted to get to the bottom of this story, and to pull down that hood to know the truth. You can really feel that she's so done with all this psychological torture.
The fact the real Syaoran appears right at that moment and she finds out the person she saw was just a Card is partly a relief for her, but also throws Sakura again in despair because who the hell is that person in the dream, then??
Syaoran, as the good and attentive boyfriend he is, can just feel that Sakura is stressing over something, so he brings her to his home to help her calming down. And to her umpteenth attempt at sweeping her negative emotions under the carpet, beating around the bush commenting over the tea with a fake smile, he cuts immediately her bullshit and just tells her : "You don't need to force yourself. Just tell me how you feel right now".
When she hears that she's allowed to speak out her emotions with honesty, Sakura wears on her face one of the most heartbreaking expressions of the entire manga. She's literally about to break down in tears of exhaustion, as you can see it above. ☝️
Listening to her, gradually, Syaoran encourages Sakura to get out all that's been torturing her lately, particularly about the dream with the Cloaked Figure. It is a very difficult moment for her, because she has to relive the dream, and expose in front of him all the fears and doubts that were trying to tamper with her trust in him. Courageously, she goes through with it, even though her denial ("it's just a dream!") is so strong that she ends up creating another Card: "Dreaming". Sakura at first seems relieved to see the Card, in the hope that everything she saw was indeed a mere messed up dream and nothing else (see? she's again self-sabotaging her relationship with her magic) but Syaoran with his frankness is quick to bring her feet on the ground: the kanji on the Card show "yumemi", and the word can also indicate a "foretelling dream".
Although Sakura seems disheartened at first, her next dream with the Cloaked Figure is much more relaxed, so much that even the dragon doesn't particularly scare her anymore: our girl's intuition makes her correctly feel a sense of loneliness in this dream, which she attributes to the hooded figure, not realizing that it was more likely coming from the dragon itself (aka, Kaito).
After all, in chapter 72, Lilie will confirm that her presence ended up distracting her from the one "character" she should've paid all of her attention to.
Her intuition, despite being misattributed, ended up having a positive effect through the synchronization with Akiho: the girl will wake up with the same feeling of discomfort of her friend, and as if guided by hitsuzen, she will head to the garden where she'll find a sickly Kaito staring at the moon - most likely feeling the loneliness Sakura perceived in her dream.
I like to think that in this scene of chapter 48, Sakura subconsciously helped Akiho comforting Kaito, by waking her up with the unresting feeling, precisely when Kaito needed it the most.
Still not completely embraced her magical sixth sense yet, but a significant improvement.
The road between chapter 48 and chapter 52 is paved with lots of struggles, as the Mirror Sakura Card gets stolen by Kaito, Sakura runs the risk of being absorbed into Akiho's artifact again, she meets Momo for the first time and she's even given a hint about Kaito's plan (or what Momo thought was his plan, as he had benignly lied to her about that), but almost all of that gets rewound and erased when Kaito intervenes.
Moreover, despite not remembering anything consciously, Sakura is left with a sense of unhappiness when she looks at her home, a remnant of her brief journey in the world of Momo's book which straight up threw her into despair, showing her what her life would be if everyone forgot about her. She also finds once again a Card produced out of nowhere, "Time": I'm convinced she produced this Card because her conscience was awake while Momo and Kaito talked in stopped time, and their conversation triggered her sixth sense to produce Time as a result.
Needless to say, all of this worsens her state of mind once again, which leads to the other pivotal, and finally resolutive, scene of chapter 52.
Never Avert Your Eyes From Your Heart
We finally get to what I consider THE scene, the one that will definitively shake Sakura from her deadlock, from the anxiety that stunted her connection with her innate gift and her deepest emotions. And the one who helps her overcoming all her fears is, of course, the love of her life - with a honorable mention for none other than his mother Yelan!!
Chapter 52 got a very, very special place in my heart, because it's basically one giant parallel between SyaoSaku and YunaAki.
The two pairings experience similar situations, but the response from one side of each pairing is quite different.
Let's remind you for a moment of the part earlier in this post when I told you that Kaito and Sakura, for most of Clear Card, surprisingly have one thing in common: they don't seem to understand themselves well enough, and both have a tendency to look away from feelings that cause unrest to their hearts - anxiety for Sakura, love for Kaito.
Syaoran, always attentive and observant towards his girlfriend, notices immediately that Sakura is suffering, as soon as he sees her at school. Despite being unable to touch her to comfort her, he offers all of himself to support and listen to her concerns. Sakura is visibly and pleasantly surprised of how the boy could read behind her mask, that usual contrived smile with which she tries to dissimulate her emotions and not make him worry. A bad habit she's consolidated lately, but that Syaoran is gently determined to dismantle.
After opening up with him (and this is where Sakura differs from Kaito - by having an established relationship made of love and trust with Syaoran, Sakura lowers her walls with him), she falls once again into the usual trap of "but maybe it's just my imagination" and I love to see how Syaoran is her anchor to the ground, making her see the concreteness of this situation: he straight up tells her "you produced a Card out of it, it cannot be 'just your imagination'. "
And then, like a precious family gift, he passes on to her the priceless words of wisdom of his mother Yelan, an advice that not only Sakura, but also the other "lost soul" of the other paralleling pairing should listen to:
"People with magical power should never ignore the turmoil and stirring in their hearts, the so-called 'intuition'.
And it’s not limited to people with magical powers.
People should never avert their eyes from the changes in their heart."
This is a turning point for Sakura.
These words seem to positively "break" something inside of her, showing her the correct path to follow.
CLAMP beautifully portray this process of "embracing and assimilating" the words she's just heard, by making her place her hand over her heart. I love when they do that (they used the same visual when Akiho heard Kaito's true name, and 'wrote it' on the most important page of the book of her life).
Sakura is truly grateful for the words Syaoran relayed to her, precisely what she needed to get out of her impasse with her feelings and magic. She knows she can always count on the support of her soulmate even in the darkest moments, and she's thankful for having him in her life.
From this moment onwards, Sakura will experience several instances where her magical premonitory senses give her signals through the "stirring" of her heart. Contrarily to before, she starts to actively take them seriously, listening, without dismissing them as the delirium of an anxious little girl.
This allows her to activate the Siege Card in the fraction of a second, successfully shielding herself from Kaito's time magic, making her the first person ever who achieved that.
This also leads her to effectively remember that she saw Kaito using magic, even when time was rewound by him, and contact immediately Syaoran to talk about it, planning how to move from that moment onwards.
A little relapse on her bad habit is immediately dispelled by Syaoran, and our girl even goes as far as saying "there's something inside Akiho", even though she's not sure exactly why she's feeling that way. But it's an intuition she's having and she decides to not dismiss it anymore, with everyone trusting and supporting her in that direction.
By listening more and better to what her heart tells her, Sakura also decides to not confront Akiho about Kaito and his magic, because she's well aware of the feelings Akiho got for Kaito and she doesn't want to potentially disrupt their relationship. So, she decides to wait for her friend to talk about it first.
Thanks to this better understanding of her own intuition, she also says in chapter 57 that she wants to meet the guardian of the book "Alice in Clockland" once more, despite not remembering if and when she's met her before.
This also ultimately leads her to accept the role of Alice in the upcoming play scripted by her friend Naoko, because her sixth sense tells her that it's inevitable for her to do so.
It's important to emphasize how the other characters support and encourage her to listen to her innate gift, at this point, without trampling over her self-determination like they did before.
It is a moment of big growth and character development for everyone.
The Ultimate Growth: Finding a Meaning and a Purpose
What happens afterwards is history: the fateful "Alice in Clockland" play unfolds, and Kaito completes his plan to push Sakura to create the Card he needs, exchanging his magic artifact (the watch) with Akiho's one (the book), in addition to activating the forbidden magic to rewrite the memories of everyone, to fit Akiho as part of Sakura's family.
Sakura's intuition will be crucial to wake her true self up while in Clockland, succeeding in beating Kaito's magic multiple times, till Syaoran comes in and gives the "final blow", cutting off the spell definitively.
And even when everything seems lost because Kaito successfully activated the fobidden magic, changing their memories and erasing himself from their existence, Sakura's magic and sixth sense keep making her say things she either already said or heard before in the "unrewritten world".
Not only that, but even after meeting Lilie in a dream and forgetting her face (due to the strong influence of the forbidden spell), bit and pieces of that conversation keep coming back to her, and she listens dutifully to every single one of these "feelings".
Kaito might have overridden part of their memories (only the ones concerning him, Akiho and the events connected to the creation of the Cards), but the experience, feelings and personal growth of each character were left untouched, that's why the chemistry between Sakura and Syaoran is the same as before the play started, but also Sakura's personal relationship with her magic is far better than before (an information that might have seemed random and unimportant is that now Sakura summons Mirror even just to chat, an indication of her completely changed perspective on her magic).
Now that Sakura finally embraced her magical power, all that's left for her is to find a true purpose for it.
A question echoes in my mind, "What am I creating these Cards for?".
Sakura poses herself this question halfway through the story, and she finds the answer to it precisely at the end of the journey.
Her powerful magic intuition, combined with her immense empathy, leads her to realize that somebody is missing from their reality, and that person is the one Akiho loves.
At this point Sakura is unstoppable: she wants to listen to the voice in her heart that's screaming "Go and help them!! Give the true happiness back to Akiho!", and everyone can only follow her lead as she assertively puts into practice what her heart is telling her to do.
Sakura in this final part of the story shines brighter than ever.
She's more assertive and self-confident than ever.
All of this is because there's something she strongly wants to do with her innate gift, as Eriol unequivocally says in chapter 75: her power grows exponentially again, but this time it's not out of her control - it is Sakura herself who's voluntarily boosting it, thanks to her strong wish.
And that allows her to control it and use it exactly as she wants.
In chapter 79 her growth reaches the highest peak, by handling the resolution of Akiho and Kaito's personal problems in an admirable way (she steps aside for a moment to give Akiho all the agency she needed), but also finding herself in front of an uncomfortable dilemma, which leads her to an unavoidable reality: Sakura quickly understands that she cannot be on everyone's side and there are lines to be drawn at some point.
She can't be a pure and oblivious girl forever.
She needs to grow up.
There are choices to be made, especially when dealing with real evil people.
And Sakura choses to go on with the people she loves, even if that means she has to "stain" her "moral record" a little bit.
Empowered by this strong wish to fix the situation, she literally gives life to a miracle, protecting her dear friend and her beloved from the grasp of their abusers, simultanously giving everyone their true memories back.
The effort exerts her greatly, but what she achieved is by far the most important thing she's ever done with her magic power till now: she helped two dear people lost in a life-and-death situation.
Her magical growth went along with her personal, mental one.
This is also the reason why the accusations of "the other magicians should've trained her" end up being in vain: Sakura's problem with her powers was mainly on a personal level, not on a technical one.
This was a journey she had to mainly walk by herself, finding the right balance and confidence in her abilities, deep down in her heart.
No one could've done that for her.
Merely training the practical aspect of it would've just worsened the situation, because Sakura wouldn't have been truly "in it" with her heart and mind. She needed to go through this process of growth, before reaching this stage of self-awareness in relation to her magic powers.
I truly feel this is the reason why CLAMP made certain choices inside this story.
Again, as I always say, a good part of Cardcaptor Sakura does revolve around magic, but the main focus and linchpin of this story is and always will be the main character's heart, her growth and the interpersonal relationships with her loved ones.
This makes Clear Card Arc, in my opinion, a worthy sequel and a full-fledged part of the Cardcaptor Sakura series.
I think those who decide to skip it or read it with a superficial approach miss a journey of tremendous growth for our beloved protagonist.
So much for those who kept saying "This is not Sakura's story".
How can all that ☝️ NOT be Sakura's story?
I'll let you judge. 😊
Extra: The Significance of the Clear Cards
I want to digress for a moment about a thorny topic: the significance of the Clear Cards in this story.
Sakura isn't always completely passive towards the events happening around her, but wonders several times during the story why all those Cards are manifesting like that.
While the first and easiest answer is of course "because her powers are going out of control" (and this is something Momo herself questions Sakura about in chapter 50), it becomes apparent at some point that the more the story goes on, the more the Cards that are created by her are particularly relevant and connected to the events that will happen in the final part of the story.
I know this is a sore spot for many who complain about not understanding the purpose of the Clear cards.
It's because people tend to compare this set of Cards with the ones Sakura captured previously.
That's not the right way to look at them, because their origin and purpose are different and change throughout the story.
Forget about the Sakura Cards, even though so many of these "Clear Cards" (which are never called so, not even once, in the story itself, but just "new cards" or "transparent cards") might look so similar in purpose to the previous ones.
First of all, the Clear Cards are an outlet for Sakura to vent in a healthy way her power in excess. Power that if kept inside, untapped and confined in her body, might have unpredictable harmful effects on her (<- probably the grief Yelan foresaw).
God bless the Clear Cards for existing and allowing Sakura to vent out these bouts of uncontrolled power in a relatively safe way.
The Cards that Sakura produces in the beginning are sometimes reminiscing of the Sakura Cards, because her power manifests itself basing on Sakura's experiences, feelings, thoughts and wishes.
The Sakura Cards are an important part of her life (before Syaoran took them, she literally acted like their "mom", keeping them alive with her power) so it's only normal that the first base for some of these new Cards would be a magic tool that she already knows.
In this sense, it becomes easier to understand why many of the "captures" seem so easy, way too easy compared to what a reader would expect from a sequel: the goal of the capture here isn't to make her power and experience in capturing cards grow.
She already had 2 arcs to do all of that.
The capture of the Cards in this third arc becomes something new and unexpected: a "damage control" of a regrettable situation with Sakura's powers, while she learns to dominate them and enter into harmony with her supernatural abilities.
The growth Sakura needs here is mainly a mental one. Performing her magical power aimlessly without having a true connection with it and a true understanding will only exacerbate the problem.
This is the reason why, despite having a "capture" element, Clear Card derails from the previous arcs in the purpose of the capture.
It's a pity that an element that should've brought freshness to the plot was in many cases received as an actual flaw.
In the beginning, as Sakura's power is completely out of her control, some Cards might look completely random too - they don't look based on Cards, thoughts or wishes (like Appear, Reflect, Action, etc.).
But pay attention, because the more the story goes on, the more the Cards begin to become particularly specific to something that shook Sakura's heart in that moment, or referencing events/feelings that will become pivotal to the events Sakura will experience later.
Especially regarding Kaito's plan. Many of the later Cards Sakura produces are a direct reflection of the feelings and wishes that Kaito infused in the activation of the forbidden magic, with the creation of "the story for Akiho", the one he wanted to absolutely have a happy ending for.
Cards like Repair, Promise, Choice, Kindness, True and False, Synchronization, Rewind....many of them didn't even get to express their magical abilities in a "conventional way" (everyone expected to see Sakura literally activating them like she does with all the others), but it's just because at that point the Cards Sakura is producing are born following her premonitory intuition: thanks to the hints/speeches that those Cards give her in Clockland, Sakura little by little regains consciousness of her true self (it's a pity that many English readers will never realize all the times Sakura was about to "wake up" in Clockland, because the translation didn't respect the change in fonts of the JP text).
Sakura wasn't supposed to "use" them in a conventional way (how do you "use" Kindness? You force people to be "kind"? 🤨 and what about Choice??), she was supposed to listen to them and let them guide her towards the truth. This is also the reason why all of these Cards bear the face of her loved ones.
Think of them as tarots. Which is, incidentally, another use of the original Clow/Sakura Cards.
I am basically sure of this interpretation because the kanji of some of those Cards I mentioned above are brought up during the climax: particularly when Akiho talks to Kaito in chapter 78, she uses two specific verbs, referring to Kindness (慈愛 - a kind of gentle and tender love) when she describes the love and support her family gives her in this rewritten world, and to Choice (選択) when she questions Kaito about his choice to disappear completely from her life.
So to summarize, the last Cards Sakura produced "accidentally" weren't accidental at all, but were actually specifically produced by her power in reference to Kaito's plan, to help her finding the way out to a dire situation.
This represents a very important indicator in the plot: at that stage of the story, Sakura started to listen more and more to her intuition and her sixth sense, finally quitting her bad habit of downplaying it ("maybe it's just me") but actually giving it credit and taking it seriously, trusting her instinct to lead her in the right direction.
And this was, of course, all thanks to the speech Syaoran gave her back in chapter 52.
It is also the case of the Rewind Card, which Sakura will ultimately understand the purpose of on her own, at the very end of the series.
That's the moment where everything will become clear and make sense to her: "This Card, too...I created it precisely for this moment".
The Clear Cards ultimately became the embodiment of her foretelling powers. Which then led to the birth of the first two consciously created Cards, Blank & Remind, which will become so important in the climax.
If we ever get a new arc in the next years, we'll certainly deal with a more mature Sakura, who's more in sync with her magical powers 🩷.
#card captor sakura#cardcaptor sakura#clear card arc#ccsakura#sakura card captor#clamp#sakura kinomoto#syaosaku#clear card trivia#I hope this post will make you look at Clear Card from another perspective#I'm sorry for the length but I really wanted to make a deep dive
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Omg completely down for mean!stalker Leigh, I've got sum idea like they're in a same group right? And then reader kind of sharing what she'd lost and her being abused by someone and Leigh going out her way to ruin this person who abused reader like my mind goes brRrrrrRRrRttttt,,,
RAAAAAHHHHHH I LOVE UR MIND
Leigh got used to seeing you in the group, but noticed you never had anything to say. It had been months since you joined, and you never uttered a word unless it was to her.
but this one particular time, the group decides to push you into saying something. Reasoning that “it had been months” and “you should be comfortable by now,”
after further insistence you caved and told everyone your losses, receiving a few pitiful hums and understanding nods. Then, you explain how speaking in public was only a new fear you had developed from an abusive relationship, also mentioning you had only gotten out of it several months prior.
you didn’t need to get into detail, you didn’t really want to, but your body language spoke volumes.
someone hurt you so much you were afraid to even talk? leigh started to imagine what you must’ve went through, someone hurting you when you are such a sweet, precious thing.
this made leigh lose it, a killer, almost animistic, instinct coursing through her. you could see it.
“what was their name?”
leigh questions, her hoarse voice filling the silence. you were shocked seeing her anger, she always acted as if she never liked you. you figured it was only because she lost her husband and she was just grieving in her own way, needing a little push to make some new friends.
“Lexi.” you say quietly. the tension in the room was electrifying, everyone could see it. you saw a few people shifting uncomfortably in your peripheral, but you couldn’t take your eyes away from hers. the look on her face made your heart beat ten times faster. you couldn’t tell if it was nervousness or excitement.
“Let’s take a break and eat some food, yeah?” Leah, the social worker, stands up and claps her hands together.
the next day, you’re comfortable on the couch watching the news. you hear that a brutally mutilated body had been found in an abandoned barn down a street you can’t remember the name of, somewhere around an hour and a half away from where you live.
you watch unsurprised, New York City was in its annual killer mode. a time of year where everyone seems to go rogue. Although it’s terrible, dead bodies found was nothing new.
“After a long and hard investigation, the body has been identified to be Lexi Warrington.”
~
(I don’t know what you wanted by ‘ruin’ but I think leigh torturing and killing them makes it a whole lot more interesting ( ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈)ഒ)
#stalker leigh shaw muhaahahah#sorry for your loss#leigh shaw#elizabeth olsen#wlw#sapphic#Elizabeth Olsen x reader#cute anons 𐙚
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A Not-So-Disastrous Romance (Book 1) Chapter Two
Kusuo Saiki x Reader
Chapter Two: Ghosts and Guardians
Summary: Saiki and (Y/N) meet a new transfer student.
It was another day at school. (Y/N) and Saiki were sitting next to each other, watching as boys crowded around Teruhashi as usual. Apparently, she had met a boy on August sixth and developed a crush on him. Poor Saiki looked annoyed (more than usual, at least), and (Y/N) was amused since apparently his chance encounter with Teruhashi had garnered a lot of attention.
That being said, (Y/N)’s stomach clenched strangely at the knowledge that the “perfect pretty girl” liked Saiki. They chose to classify that under “weird” because “my best friend who hates people dating would be weird.” At least Saiki seemed irritated at the attention.
Other than Teruhashi’s crush, everything was normal at PK Academy (which wasn’t saying much. Nothing could be considered anywhere near normal there). At least, almost completely normal (by their standards).
“Hey, Saiki, (Y/N), don’t you think Nendou is acting strange today?” asked Kaidou. “Normally, he’d be bugging us to go to a ramen place or something.”
“True, he is acting a little strange.”
“He looks sad,” said (Y/N) decidedly.
“This is fishy. It does make me wonder what the deal is,” said Kaidou, “We should find out what.”
l
How do I always get dragged into these things?
Saiki was once again questioning his life choices. He was hiding around the corner from Nendou with Kaidou and (Y/N). They were tailing their friend who was acting odd. All-in-all, it was the usual concoction of terrible life choices leading him to be stuck with “friends.” At least (Y/N) and Saiki were acting relatively normal. Kaidou….was Kaidou. He had put on a coat, hat, and sunglasses to complete the spy look.
“His house isn’t this way,” said Kaidou, “I bet something’s up.”
“Why are you so excited about this? And why are you so used to tailing someone?” commented Saiki.
“It’s a little creepy,…but hey, we’re not gonna hurt him!” said (Y/N), smiling.
“Hm?” Kaidou noticed Nendou stop. “What’s he looking at?”
Nendou gave a young girl a strange look.
Creepy.
Creepy.
Creepy.
All of them had the same thought.
“Look, he entered a shop this time!” said (Y/N), pointing down the street.
“Don’t start getting into this, too.” The last thing Saiki needed was (Y/N) going crazy.
“I might as well have fun,” they remarked.
“A flower shop? Don’t tell me he has a girlfriend…!” exclaimed Kaidou.
“No offense to Nendou, but that’s probably not the reason,” said (Y/N), sweat-dropping.
Nendou emerged with a bouquet of sunflowers.
“No, that’s definitely not it.”
“It’s too early to judge. There are many reasons to buy sunflowers,” said Kaidou.
“He’s entering another shop!” alerted (Y/N).
“A cake shop? Well, he definitely wouldn’t eat something like that, right?!” cried Kaidou. “Sunflowers, too. He clearly intends to give them to someone. But he doesn’t have a girlfriend to give them to!”
“Let’s just ask him. This might end up being a little personal. He may prefer to tell us instead of us accidentally finding out,” said (Y/N).
Saiki glanced at them from behind his glasses. Once again, (Y/N)’s apropos statement made his question whether or not they were a regular person or secretly a psychic. Maye they were just someone with common sense.
He could directly relate to what they had just said. Saiki had a personal issue: being a psychic, and he didn’t want people to find out if he didn’t want them to (which was all the time).
Strange…how do they manage to say just the right thing?
(Y/N) ran up to Nendou. “Hey, Nendou!”
“Oh, hey, pinky! Wow! Runt and pal are here, too.”
“Yeah, we’re curious about what you’re up to,” explained (Y/N).
Only mildly curious. It wouldn’t weigh on my mind.
“Oh, that’s easy,” said Nendou.
l
“Visiting a grave?” Kaidou was surprised. The group was now in a graveyard looking at the Nendou Family Grave.
(Y/N) nodded in understanding. They had guessed that since Nendou definitely probably didn’t have a girlfriend, the flowers were likely for a relative. (Or that’s what they told themself. They actually didn’t really manage to guess anything).
“Yeah, my dad’s,” explained Nendou, “Today is the anniversary of his death.”
Kaidou made the connection. “Then the sunflowers and cake are…”
“They’re offerings, of course.” Nendou smiled. “It’s common sense to bring flowers and snacks when visiting a grave.”
“Of course,” agreed (Y/N). It was sweet. For all Nendou’s…stupidity, he had a good heart.
“When did your dad die?” asked Kaidou.
“Kaidou! That’s a really personal question,” admonished (Y/N), frowning.
“Don’t worry, girlie. It’s okay. He died before I was born,” said Nendou, “He died trying to save a kid who ran out into the street.”
“A hero,” said (Y/N) in awe. That explains where Nendou gets his helpful, sometimes impulsive, attitude.
“B-but if he died before you were born, then he must’ve died really young,” said Kaidou.
“Yeah. I think eighteen or nineteen. Do you wanna see his picture? I have it in my wallet.” Nendou looked excited.
“Sure!” said (Y/N), grinning.
Nendou showed off the picture. The pair were identical. It was kind of creepy.
“What?! This is your picture, isn’t it?” cried Kaidou in disbelief.
“I know, he looks like me, right?” Nendou smiled happily. “Mom says that I look more like him every year, too.”
“It’s beyond that! You’re practically twins!” (Y/N) was surprised they were so similar.
After looking over the picture, the group stood up and turned from the grave, readying to leave. Saiki, however, was staring slightly above the grave with a strange, slightly creeped out, look on his face.
“Saiki?” called (Y/N), “Are you alright?”
That vision of Nendou’s father was probably just my imagination. Saiki turned around with his usual blank face. “I’m fine.”
“Great! Let’s go get some ramen!” said Nendou.
As they began to walk, (Y/N) grinned at Saiki. “I’ve never seen you look like that before. It was almost like you saw a ghost.”
“I don’t believe in ghosts,” said Saiki. No matter how unreal I am. Unfortunately, the world had a way of going against his desires. (He was not a favorite of any gods that existed).
l
(Y/N) walked through the halls, heading to the library to check out some books. They stopped, however, when they spotted Saiki and the transfer student. They instantly became curious since rumors were circulating that he was a medium. Did they believe in psychics or anything? They weren’t sure. They hadn’t really seen any proof for or against the existence of psychics, so (Y/N) kept an open mind. And there was no harm in checking it out.
“I don’t understand why you would want to hide it…” complained the purple-haired boy.
“Hide what?” asked (Y/N), nearing the two.
The transfer student jumped. “Oh-uh! S-Saiki and I are friends!”
“We’re not,” denied Saiki.
“Don’t think anything of it,” said (Y/N) to the purple-haired boy. They smiled and laughed. “Saiki never admits people are his friends.”
“He’s really not,” emphasized Saiki. He really didn’t want (Y/N) to get the wrong idea.
“Hush.” (Y/N) smiled to the transfer student. “I’m (Y/N) (L/N).”
“I’m Toritsuka Reita.” Toritsuka smiled “innocently,” but his inner thoughts were very different. Wow, they’re totally hot! “And I’m a medium who can tell you all about your Guardian Spirit!” People love this stuff!
Saiki leveled a deadly glare at Toritsuka. He sent a message directly to the pervert’s mind, making sure (Y/N) wouldn’t hear. “Stop.” He might not acknowledge (Y/N) was his friend, but he wouldn’t let Toritsuka try anything pervy with them. He didn’t like that idea. And (Y/N) didn’t deserve that.
Not that that was the issue. It was just Toritsuka being weird that Saiki wasn’t a fan of. Not (Y/N) being bothered in particular.
“I guess I am a bit curious,” admitted (Y/N), shrugging casually.
“Hmm, it seems—Oh, whoa!” Toritsuka’s eyes widened.
“What?” (Y/N) tilted their head.
Curious himself, Saiki surreptitiously tapped Toritsuka while using his psychometry. Now, he could see the ghosts the medium did. Sure enough, (Y/N)’s Guardian Spirit garnered the reaction Toritsuka had.
“They’re a sorcerer or a witch!” said Toritsuka. That's intimidating! Immediately, he took a step back. He wouldn’t try to mess with (Y/N) if that was their guardian spirit. Well, at least for a little.
That explains why (Y/N) always gets out of messes. Saiki found it interesting that (Y/N) was friends with a psychic and had a witch as a Guardian Spirit. Maybe there was a correlation. If that was so, then there was a correlation between god hating him and his own psychic powers.
“If what you say is true, then that’s pretty cool.” (Y/N) smiled at the idea of having someone looking out for them. “What’s Saiki’s guardian?”
“I don’t care about it.”
They shrugged. “Alright, if you say so.” They were pretty curious, but they wouldn’t push.
Saiki was tempted to smile for a moment but held back. He liked that they respected him enough not to pry. Most of his friends people who bothered him would push for information, but (Y/N) understood that Saiki preferred to keep to himself. They even helped out people like Toritsuka who were especially bothersome (and definitely didn’t deserve their kindness). As usual, the universe decided to mess with Saiki right as he was feeling pleased since just at that moment Teruhashi walked by. Luckily for Saiki (he didn’t get to say that often) she was only passing by.
However, it was enough for Toritsuka to fall in love (not that it was unusual for people to fall head-over-heels for Teruhashi at first sight). The blush on his face was evident to any passerby. “Wh-wh-wh-who’s that super pretty girl?!”
“That’s Teruhashi. She just passed by you for no reason whatsoever. You should thank her.” For the first time, Saiki was glad the school’s idol appeared since it meant Toritsuka would stop flirting (and thinking) so much about (Y/N), especially in such perverse ways.
That was a new thought.
Did you see all the nooks and crannies on her body, Saiki?! thought Toritsuka.
Suddenly, Saiki was glad that Toritsuka said stupid things so he could focus on that instead of whatever those thoughts were. “Don’t make it sound so perverted,” said Saiki.
“Watch out, here comes a swarm of girls,” warned (Y/N).
The crowd of girls mobbed Toritsuka with questions about their Guardian Spirit.
(Y/N) chuckled. “He seems quite content with the attention.” They weren’t an idiot; they saw how Toritsuka looked at them and girls. They were polite, but they were careful.
“Too much for my taste,” muttered Saiki.
“He’s very…honest with the boys.” (Y/N) sweat-dropped as Toritsuka bluntly told the boys that their Guardian Spirits were “old hags” and an “old geezer.”
“He’s very obvious,” said Saiki.
“At least he seems to be honest,” remarked (Y/N), “since he was impressed by Hairo’s.”
“You believe in psychics? And mediums and all that?” asked the pink-haired boy, glancing at them.
(Y/N) shrugged. “I mean sure, why not.” They smiled. “Life is more fun with the fantastical involved, ya know.”
I find it boring and annoying to have this much power. But I can understand their view. Saiki nodded.
“Hey, what’s my Guardian Spirit?” Nendou appeared out of nowhere.
“Now that’s something we can both say is interesting,” commented (Y/N).
“Yes,” agreed Saiki.
Toritsuka just ignored him.
(Y/N) sighed. “Man, I really wanted to find out. If Toritsuka tells you, let me know. I’ll buy you coffee jelly in return.”
Saiki would tell them if he found out anyways. When Toritsuka didn’t tell him later, the only reason Saiki wasn’t disappointed over losing coffee jelly was that he was too surprised to see Nendou’s father was Toritsuka’s Guardian Spirit. During the night, however, Saiki lamented the loss of coffee jelly.
I’ll just have to go to Café Mami tomorrow and maybe encounter (Y/N).
l
It seemed the following day, (Y/N) had the same idea. I wonder if Saiki would like some coffee jelly. What am I thinking? He’s always up for coffee jelly. (Y/N) smiled and went down to Saiki’s house. They rang the doorbell.
Saiki opened it.
“Hey, Saiki, I was wondering if you wanted to go to Café Mami with me,” said (Y/N).
“I have a problem right now.”
“It must be serious if it keeps you from coffee jelly. What is it?” asked (Y/N).
“…” Saiki didn’t want to respond since he was slightly embarrassed about his extreme fear of insects.
“Come on, I won’t tease you,” reassured (Y/N).
“There’s a roach.”
“Gross.” (Y/N) shivered at the thought before taking a deep breath and smiling bravely. “I’ll get it. You just hold open the door so I can make a run for it.”
Saiki nodded and held the door, closing his eyes so he wouldn’t have to see the bug.
(Y/N) tiptoed into corridor and looked around. Sure enough, there was a roach on the floor. (Y/N) took out their handkerchief and crept closer to the insect. Pouncing, they grabbed it quickly and rushed to the door. “Gross, gross, gross!” They tossed it outside, and then Saiki slammed the door.
They both breathed a sigh of relief.
“How about we wait a minute for it to leave the front walk and then go to Café Mami?” murmured (Y/N), their back against the door.
“Are you an angel?” They perfectly anticipate what I’m thinking and make me feel comfortable. It was a strange thought but a true one. It seemed Saiki couldn’t avoid really being friends with (Y/N) and thinking of them as one.
(Y/N)’s cheeks turned pink. They hadn’t anticipated that or their own reaction, and they stammered out a “Huh?”
“Nothing.” Saiki avoided speaking again until they arrived at Café Mami.
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#a not#a not so disastrous romance#x reader#gn reader#nb reader#x gn reader#x nb reader#saik#the disaster of psi kusuo saiki#saiki kusuo#saiki no psi nan#saiki k#kusuo saiki#saiki x reader#saiki#the disastrous life of saiki k#saiki kusuo x reader#saiki k x reader#kus#kusuo saiki x reader
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Have you seen the leaked designs for Hades 2? Someone went into the files to get better quality images of the character art and came across new characters that haven’t been revealed yet.
Supergiant asked them to take it down, but it was up for awhile and wow. Hestias wasn’t there yet but there were a lot more that looked amazing!! I won’t go into too much more detail in case you haven’t seen them, but I’m a big fan especially of the more morally grey/villain characters in mythology designs
I've spotted a few of them in the wild but I'm trying to avoid what I can because I want to go in as blind as possible when the game releases! The data-leaking though is uh... man. Seeing the designs is awesome but it's always a bummer for the studios when this happens because it can interrupt their promotional calendar, plus it can lead to stuff that isn't even ready yet getting shown off as if it's finished which can alter people's perceptions of what to expect going in. I know it's just because people are excited which is cool, but I empathize with Supergiant having to do damage control over it because the last thing they should have to worry about while trying to develop this game is preventing sensitive data from getting out and spoiling people 💀😅
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Undead Unluck ch.204 thoughts
[Lord Forgive Me But It's Time to Go Back to The Old Me]
(Contents: Parallels - Nico/Feng/Ichico, Character development - Feng, Power system development/speculation - Souls, Character speculation - Sun/Luna)
Well! I guess we didn't need to worry about Nico staying a non-Negator after all, now did we? So much for keeping Nico "Unforgettable-free" eh, Ichico? Still, I feel better knowing that my prediction that they'd trigger it on purpose was correct, even if the exact method was a bit off
As usual, Tozuka continues to impress me with his ability to compose iconic panels. Nico's face when he absorbed all of the memories from Acopalypse is simply Unforgettable, particularly since it so immediately reverted him to his classic L100 appearance. What's really fun about that is that it's probably not that his body just suddenly remembered all of the stress and sleepless nights of Unforgettable, but rather it's the logical extreme of Artifact-based memory influx. We've seen characters develop headaches and nosebleeds from it before, most notably from Fuuko digging through an huge box full of Artifacts, so for Nico to absorb presumably ALL of Apocalypse's stored memories (stated to be the most of any Artifact), it makes sense that even the capillaries under his eyes would all burst at once from the pressure
The question now is whether or not this is a permanent change. I imagine not, since his previously haggard appearance was indicative of his suffering, the haunting knowledge that his most sacred memories would soon fade and be permanently replaced with the most wretched. L100 Nico had the opportunity to create new pleasant memories but actively rejected the possibility out of fear of losing the old, while in this world Nico is going to be able to embrace the support of others as he won't have lost Ichico this time. Honestly, no wonder Tozuka waited to introduce Mico to this world; he wanted to make sure Nico would be able to make room for her in his heart rather than keeping her at a distance
I wonder if that's another reason Tozuka chose Feng for this fight; not only is Feng's current focus on making himself unforgettable to future generations, but he's also a good parallel to Nico's role as a father. Both L100 Nico and Feng prevented themselves from properly forming attachments with their children, and L101 has given both of them the chance to make right on that. Shen explicitly acknowledges that he loves Feng as his father, and Feng even calls Shen his son, so while Feng may not be the best or even a good role model for fatherhood, he does make a compelling argument for parental redemption. If Nico really does have complete knowledge of the previous Loops now, the significance of this change won't be lost on him, and he'll be certain to make sure Mico can grow up happy and loved
Speaking of, Ichico's final speech in this chapter remind me a lot of Nico's in L100. She tells Nico that she knows he can save her because he's the first person she's ever loved, while as Nico was dying in L100, Ichico asked if he thought Mico could handle saving Fuuko's life and he replied "she's our daughter. She doesn't make mistakes." Both of them have absolute faith in their loved ones to pull through when the chips are down, and both of them hold each other in extremely high regard. These two really have such strong chemistry, I'm excited to see the sorts of interactions they have now that the cat's out of the bag
Now that I think of it, Nico's refusal to let Mico into his heart was pretty ironic since Ichico explicitly wanted to make sure that Nico wouldn't ever feel alone. Just like Leila asked Rip and Latla to find love in each other, Ichico wanted Nico to fill the void she left with Mico, and just like them, he couldn't let go of the past and move on. Leila and Ichico were also both in poor health and believed that since their lives were short they held less value, and instead sought to leave as much of an impact as possible in the time that they had, even if it was just to make the people closest to them happy
Looking at Ichico in that light, we can see another fun parallel to Feng! Feng's Unfade made him believe that he had all the time in the world and that he didn't need to leave anything behind because he'd always be there, while Ichico's Unsleep made her believe she had no time and had to leave as much behind as she could. Both of them, however, had adverse effects on their families, as Feng believed his children to exist for him to become stronger and Ichico believed her child to be an adequate replacement for herself, when in reality Feng should have focused on raising someone to surpass him and Ichico should have focused on preserving her life to be present for her family. Heck, Unforgettable manifested in Nico both times specifically because he saw Ichico's last moments and thought something to the effect of "I don't want her to die, I want to remember her." Doomed by the narrative, indeed!
Man, I'm so glad Tozuka used Feng here, I had no idea there was so much connective tissue between all these folks! I bet we still would have gotten something cool if it were Tella, but damn this is such juicy stuff!! I hope Tozuka keeps throwing all of his toys together in fun combos that get me to think this deeply in the other Master Rule fights too
Feng's inclusion here also continues to demonstrate how far he's developed, forcing him to put his money where his mouth is and sacrifice himself for someone else for a change. He was a bit incredulous at first that Ichico was suggesting he should die, which is pretty hypocritical coming from the guy who just last chapter said "you should sacrifice your wife to get stronger, it'll be cool." Once he realized that dying would help him understand souls better and that Nico could save him AND bring him back to life, Feng was all for it, and may well come to understand that being with people provides more opportunities for growth than treating them as expendable ever could
I am very interested in seeing how his death will improve his understanding of souls, though. The damage he took from Luna's soul blast as well as the damage he dealt to Sun (who Language stated has a physical body) with his knock-off Kamehameha both prove that souls can directly interact with the physical plane, something that Ghost previously stated couldn't be done. This may be a matter of interpretation, though, as Ghost also stated that Andy only couldn't move his limbs after having those parts of his soul cut off because he believed he could move his body using his soul. Ghost's interpretation was that souls couldn't touch physical matter and vice versa, so only a physical attack coated in soul could harm him by ensuring it didn't matter which form he was in
Luna's attack seems to be pure soul, so by that logic, she shouldn't have been able to deal damage to Feng's body, and yet she did. Is Luna's interpretation that a soul attack damages the soul and reflects its state on the body? Probably not, then one wouldn't be able to detach their soul for attacks in the first place, as that would cause the body to change shape (see Mahito's Idle Transfiguration in JJK). Does Luna interpret souls as having different properties at different concentrations? Is she coating her soul around the air to create physical pressure when launching her attack? Or is it something entirely different? Whatever it turns out to be, I think it will have pretty drastic implications for how battles are fought going forward
Finally, I want to touch on an interesting line from Language. She referred to Luna and Sun as "the Pinnacle of the Spiritual and the Pinnacle the Physical" respectively, and given Luna's hazy silver appearance, it does track that she is literally made of soul, but then does that mean Luna doesn't have a physical body at all? And in fact, if Luna is only a soul, then how did she exist prior to UMA Soul's creation? Is Soul really the Rule that allows souls to exist, or the Rule that allows other souls, existences like Luna, to be?
And if Luna is a soul without a body, then...is Sun a body without a soul? Can soul-based attacks work on Sun, or does the Union need to focus solely on physical attacks? Or, does defeating Sun require that Luna be defeated simultaneously, just like Ghost, because Luna is Sun's soul?
I know I say it all the time, but Tozuka really is following Oda's footsteps incredibly well. They're both so good at sprinkling in hints that make me ask questions rather than just spoonfeeding me answers, so while I desperately want the answers, the time I get to spend chewing them over and looking for them myself makes the questions stick with me and leave that much more of an impact. I sincerely hope that other mangaka are taking notes, cus I want to see so much more of this in Jump's future!
Until next time, let's enjoy life!
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Ellen McLain’s commentary from my trivia playthrough
#She's so cute <3#WPP#Portal#Ellen McLain#If you haven't played through the audio commentary I would Absolutely recommend it it is So fun#I clicked out of curiosity - kind of just expecting like a movie's audio commentary y'know? Like a video that highlighted specific scenes#No it's just the whole game again but with trivia pop-ups! I love that!!#It reminded me so much of like trivia track or the pop up fun facts from special editions of movies I would watch as a kid#But you can play through them!! You have to click on them and they spin! I love that!!!#I always love hearing the design and development process - fascinating how the playtesters reacted to this new game!#We take it for granted now but yeah I imagine it would've been very confusing at the time#And I was like ''Well it was such a small team and Ms. McLain was such a large part of it - surely she'll have a few bubbles?''#She does lol - as soon as I got to her first one (it was a slow burn! They buried the lead with her lol I'm already invested!) I had to go#I saved-quit the game out of sheer excitement and giddiness lol I had to sleep on it before I was ready to come back#It is so cool to hear her natural voice ah <3 And the kinds of direction she was given! Other bubbles also talk about her vocal direction :)#Very cool! I wonder what TTS they used for reference :0#But to hear her real laugh without the audio processing over and and she still sounds like GLaDOS! I mean of course she does but just jfdksl#That's /her/ laugh! They share a laugh! It's a very similar laugh!!#Not to mention her talking about wanting to play and just fdskalfd they clearly did such a good job with her performance and ahhh#It's too cute it's all too cute sharing a room with GLaDOS while her voice actor talks about making a cake to share with her friends stopppp#I am so enamoured <3#I also took a bunch of screenshots of GLaDOS still shit-talking while she was being destroyed lol#Actually beat the ending in one try this time :P I ran out of time the last time pfft#But now I've beaten it twice in as many days :D Although I did start it the first time several days ago - but I beat it again quickly!#Has me all the more itching to replay 2 ♪#WPVG
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On April 10th!
#ibdun's beard and van helsing's eyebrows!#i wasn't expecting that#eeeeeeeeeeeee!!!#im so excited#!!!#kaito kid#magic kaito#kid the phantom thief#i wonder if this has anything to do with the movie?#because the voice actor said that we are going to see a new side of kid#so maybe this update will have important developments that will tie into what we see in the movie#i am so psyched#i actually have questioned whether or not mk would ever get a proper conclusion and this gives me hope#it's gonna be so great!#a kid focused movie and a manga update in the same month?!#i know i know... i have to wait for the translation... but that's still so exciting!!!
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There’s just something I really love about how most game developers releasing the new sequels to their last gen games will mainly talk about improved frame rates and graphics that the newer systems allow
While Plague Tale’s team is here like *slaps the roof of console* this bad boy can fit so many rats
#obviously there’s other stuff development teams are talking up about their new stuff#just the amount I’ve seen the new rat numbers come up amuses me#although I’ve also read what the number difference is so like yeah they get to brag about that#I’m also slightly scared#and very excited#ugh my copy isn’t gonna get here for another two days#I’m already getting so many reviews recommended to me on YouTube#one even had a spoiler in the title and the game isn’t even officially out for yet#I think?#it might be in some regions I’m not sure#a plague tale#a plague tale requiem#plague tale#aptr
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!! ITS VINE AND SYLVIA
GOOD TO SEE THEM A PART OF THE POPULAR MUST-HAVE IN YOUR BATRA LIST
poor iruarmy</3 a part of the danger list
its nice to see the magical tools research batra go from a storage-room batra (its kirio era) and the batra where it was like, a delinquent's hide out (Baal era, i forgot what the batra was known for in his time), to a batra that's now popular due to the fireworks last year and also a dangerous batra that other batras have to look out for
also jazz is a part of the new magic development batra if i remember correctly! i wonder how he's gonna fair as a member of the 2nd batra in the danger list!
#csoi posts#vine's image is everything#what a mood#magical tools research batra for comedy purposes but him being a part of a gardening batra would be also fantastic#sylvia joining the demon king batra like sabro mayhaps?#i think chima would join the magical tools research batra to be closer to iruma but the idea of her not joining would also be great#bc i just had a thought that maybe chima would want to grow and develop herself in another batra to impress iruma#maybe even follow iruma's footsteps into making her batra be the top batra too#im not sure what im saying anymore lol#just chima joining or not joining the magical tools batra is gonna end up great in either route#zeze im not sure which batra he would join#him joining the new magic development batra would be interesting#also bc i want him and jazz to have an interaction as theyre my fav characters too#zeze's bloodline magic would do wonders in new magic development since he could perform high power spells that the batra could use-#-in their research#very excited to see how this would go!!#mairimashita iruma kun#mairimashita! iruma kun#welcome to demon school iruma kun#mairuma#welcome to demon school#iruma kun#m!ik#asmodeus alice#suzuki iruma#valac clara#vine garson#crocell chima#zepar zeze#andro m jazz
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i think the most frustrating thing for me abt johnny and carmen going where it went is there was absolutely no development there. we got about two scenes of them having any kind of conversation that's not "stay the fuck away from my kid you weirdo" and then suddenly there's a whitesnake dream sequence? i was so excited to see where their friendship could go and it honestly felt more like carmen was treating johnny like another kid what with the "mom doesn't want you eating slim jims for breakfast anymore" and stuff. we didn't get ANY foundation for it being romantic despite he was a boy she was a girl can i make it any more obvious etc etc. i might not dislike it sooo much if there was ANYTHING there, or even an angle where it feels like an obligatory thing to do for carmen because her son's got a father figure in his life, or for johnny because he doesn't know what else to do with women in his life, but no. no. whitesnake dream sequence is supposed to make it all make sense i guess.
#karate kid verse#IM NOT OVER THIS i think about it every day. what they stole from me.#and its just like. theres nothing AFTER either#you get the brief on the outs of miguel being in the hospital and then theyre back together i guess and it jsut feels so bland and shallow#im not rooting for anything but for them to STOP bc its so bland#i feel no emotional investment#i cringe every time theyre onscren together when i used to be excited to see a new developing dynamic#it hurts me!!!
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I've been poking around the new community here on Tumblr for Starfield, and I'll be honest, it's a little lackluster, so I'd like to do my part and share my OC!
Rowan
This is Rowan, she's a former Space Scoundrel who's trying to find her way in being a better, more legal, person. She's an empathic and caring soul who wants to do what she can to help people, but has been burned by others because of those feelings so she tries to keep it to herself. She has parents and a sister, and has caught the eye of one Adoring Fan 🥰
For the past week or so I've been working on an outline for her story. It's still very much a Work in Progress considering I'm taking my time going through the main quest, but I have a somewhat firm grasp on how it starts and her backstory, which I'll put in the cut below.
I'll be honest, it's just me reciting story beats of what all I've done in game, but hopefully in an interesting way. The further along I go the more the more I would like to insert more character and feeling into the story, but I'm pretty happy with what I have so far :)
One thing I'd like to ask y'all, have you ever seen the story of Cyrano? It may not come up in this first part, but it will be relevant 🤫 If you haven't I do seriously recommend it, it's a beautiful story.
Here's what I have figured out thus far: Pt.1/?
Rowan started out as a Space Scoundrel, running around with a spacer gang, specializing in persuading people and functioning as their getaway ship. This fell apart, however, after a series of circumstances that I'll get into later (gotta keep some mystery 😉). After she leaves them she does her best to keep moving and lay as low as possible. She's not sure if her old 'friends' will try looking for her, but it's better to be safe than sorry. Later on, she gets a job with a mining company on Vectera when she finds an artifact. Then Barrett gets there, they get raided, it's a whole ordeal... Barrett then tells her she has to make the delivery for the thing he (hopefully) paid Lin to find. Rowan put up less of a fight than she wanted to, but agreed to it nonetheless.
Rowan goes to Constellation with the intent to return their ship and robot and the funky piece of metal that Barrett commissioned Lin for, then wash her hands of the whole ordeal. it's getting way too weird, and weird could mean easily spotted... Unfortunately, things don't work out that way. Considering she's the one who first found the 'Artifact' they seem to want to keep a close eye on her.
[I'll be honest, I'm not sure how this next part should go. It pretty closely follows the MQ and the whole time Mabon is side-eyeing the whole group, not sure why they seem so intrigued to see her aside from the fact that she brought the artifact. She somehow gets roped into joining and doing the first mission with Sarah, and along the way she does an interview with SSNN about the attack on the mining colony by the Crimson Fleet.]
While she and Sarah were gone, the story about Vectera got published.
{Enter Cyrano, in a twist of the usual story, we see his and Roxanne's first meeting}
Her new Adoring Fan was a strange one indeed - Very excitable and visibly on the edge of vibration - she would have chocked it up to the copious accounts of coffee he says he normally gets, but he apparently didn't get any that day, er... at least not in the last 2-3 hours judging from his self told 3-4 cups a day. This man is going to die of heart failure if bit something specific to do with caffeine. He seems to be completely focused on her their entire conversation, and it makes her more than a little uncomfortable, and when he says that he wants to be part of her crew, she's not really sure how to take it.
For what feels like the first time since leaving her old crew she needs to be quick on her feet about how to handle the situation; she decides to make a deal with him, the two of them will do a few favors around the city for roughly a week, and if she decides he's not fit for her crew, he stays here and never speaks to her again. He agrees before she even realizes he said anything.
So, for that week they stay planetside in New Atlantis doing odd jobs and small favors for pretty much anyone. It doesn't really matter what they do, all she needs to know is how he handles himself and if he's trustworthy.
He actually surprises her. While he's not all that useful for getting insight to whatever it is they're helping someone with - he mostly likes hearing what she has to say and praises her no matter what it is - Rowan does find that it's pretty fun just having him tag along. Having a companion who seems to genuinely enjoy her presence... It's not something she's felt she had for a long time.
He also relishes in being her pack mule, which is something she kinda feels bad about but he seems to enjoy it, so what can you do I guess 🤷♀️
There were two things Rowan had to get out of the way at the start of their deal. First - considering how enamored he seemed to be with her, she had to ask, "You're not... romantically interested in me, are you?" Her fan was so quick to deny and reassure her that his (completely platonic) love for her was "unbreakable" and "unyielding", but he would "never sully something so pure, with something so ordinary". The last line in particular seemed a little weird to her, but he gave the answer she was looking for, so she let it slide and went onto her next question, "So what's you're name? I don't want to go around just calling you my 'Fan'."
His eyes shined brightly at the question before doing an overly dramatic semi-bow at the waist and answering, "My name is Adrian, my liege, and I am ever at your service!"
#starfield#starfield oc#Rowan - Starfield OC#adoring fan#I gave him an actual name - Adrian#it's the first name that came to mind when thinking of the word 'adoring' and now I refuse to change it#Adrian - basically an OC considering the character development I've given him in my head#I probably could have made this a bit longer#this really only scratches the surface of how far I've progressed (at least in game)#but it's good :)#Please leave some feedback if you have any! I'd love to hear what others have to say#and I'll try posting a bit of the story every 1-2 weeks (I'm really excited to have a new story to tell but I don't want to risk burn out)
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[languid] people sometimes go like ‘wow stella you really understand writing romance’ (deserved) and they wonder where my insight comes from. the answer is simply to understand misery in a relational context.
#my ramblings#if people didn’t have romantic needs they wouldn’t get in romantic relationships#(broadly speaking. obv there are exceptions and extenuating circumstances)#(and I'm specifically coming from a narrative perspective.)#and romantic needs are some permutation of relational needs#therefore there is a need that must exist and a need that has to be fulfilled (or ‘fulfilled’) by the love interest#being consoled. getting support. the pressure and drive to improve. having different and more exciting problems.#the illusion of a happy future. self-flagellation. a kindred spirit. a new perspective.#literally it doesn’t matter what as long as it exists and directs the relationship in some fashion#at least for emotional relationship development#but emotional goes with physical which is what tends to fall apart with clumsily executed romances#emotional development doesn’t match physical development or vice versa#I guess not all cases of ‘having a need’ would be considered ‘experiencing romance’ but it’s good for the ✨drama✨#siiiiggghhh I’m gonna reread some manga#just take the man vs nature man vs man man vs self framework and figure out how it manifests and develops in an interpersonal context#internally and externally#ok good night#time to talk the romos
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